#sorry i didnt know how to describe like all of them individually

[rain-rome]

[ID: various gifs of someone holding a magnet up to an old mac classic. the mac has a checkerboard pattern on its display, and when the magnet is held up to it, it distorts around the magnet, as if trying to avoid it, like light around a black hole. except there is a small circle of distorted checkerboard right in the middle of the magnet’s range.

/end ID]

magnets and an old mac classic

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

Starlo apologist speaks again

this picture right here.. i hate it sm.

TIME TO DEBUNK EVERYTHIN', YEEHAW!

#1 Starlo's name is uncool on purpose might literally mean 'Starloser' It fits his character arc. In other words, he's not the cool, badass sheriff he pretends to be (he's not 'North Star'), but a kind, friendly farmer inside

#2 He definitely DOES care about Clover. Why else would he keep saying he's proud of them, praise them, believe in them, get worried about their safety, send them a warning letter, immediately run to check what's going on with them, get angry at Clover for not staying HOME (yeah he really did consider the Wild East their home) tell Martlet to bring Clover to safety, and jump at Ceroba to try and protect them? don't question the love of star daddy

#3 Undyne actually IS a badass. Starlo isn't. He's a softie who cares about pretending to be cool bc he's insecure, even when in a situation where he could die. He wants to be a hero. He wants to be SOMEBODY, not a NOBODY. Maybe he also cared about his own status more than his town, friends and family (which could be the reason he brought a bb gun). Or he just wanted to buy time so the others could hide. Now that I think about it, it's the latter. Why else would Dina say this in genocide after you kill Ceroba: "He was more of a hero than you'll ever be." That's the whole point of his geno fight that, and a lil bit of angst when roba finds him dying IT'S CALLED CHARACTERIZATION

#4 He kidnaps Clover bc they're a human. The only human who's ever set foot on the sands of the Wild East. He's obsessed with human culture. His whole life ARE westerns. Why? Whether it's the sense of justice cowboys represent, the exciting lives they live, or both, Starlo feels like he matters thanks to this nerdy interest, like he can contribute to his community

#5 i see Martlet as a big sis not a mom bc of how young she is, despite that one joke in bits & bites, but to each their own Star jails Martlet bc of the potential of the Wild East getting shut down. She did threaten to report them to Asgore and well... according to him, better safe than sorry. He even admitted he doesn't feel right doing it

#6 It WAS wrong of him to blame and attack Clover like that, all for his own status and ego (and to get his friends back) It's called a flawed character making a fucking mistake. Or did you expect someone perfect, with no room to grow and develop throughout the piece of media? Also, Clover is not an infant, they're a child. If it was meant to be a joke, it ain't funny bucko

#7 he either actually forgot about the fact he himself kidnapped Clover bc he wasn't in the right mindset (understandable), or purposefully ignored the information to avoid responsibility for his actions & shift the blame onto Clover (he IS flawed and thats more than ok)

#8 in neutral, he doesn't apologize bc Ceroba doesn't come and snap him out of his fantasy & mindset

#9 he did his best with the apology. you can't blame starlo. He's not very good with expressing himself and emotions in general (that he has been avoiding for so long via escapism; he also uses escapism to help Ceroba instead of talking openly with her)

#10 he doesn't know how the ceroba & clover interaction played out bc he was unconscious. Maybe he thought Clover had managed to talk her outta fighting. He says in true pacifist "Yall had a fight?? and the deputy won??" In other words he didnt know they had even fought. To add fuel to the fire, his bff just died and star, being the forgiving sweetheart he is, had wanted to give her a chance at redemption, but never got the chance to. He never got the chance to say goodbye, either.

#11 just bc starlo's an adult doesn't mean he can't have these flaws/behaviors. Every individual is unique. Starlo is deff deeply insecure and most likely autistic, too. Please think about that in the future, thank you

my current feelings can best be described by good old Axis

[solarpire]

hey um

remember that comic you made? the one about the pet wolf?

yeah i found that and it made me Feel Things

so for context im a teen with undiagnosed audhd

and i just

for so long i was seen as gifted but also a little weird (couldnt make friends even while being friendly)

and i recently found out about my audhd and sorta... saw the other wilder wolves, metaphorically speaking

and now i know my parents can never love me the way i need

they wanted a dog (neurotypical kid)

and even if they get a wolf theyll bend it away from its nature for that wish

but im still scared of biting back and im pretty sure im just gonna tear off my collar and escape (again, metaphor)

Hey buddy. Holds you gently but intensely by the shoulders. I want you to know just how much I mean it when I say that someday, you are going to be okay, and you are very loved.

We are different people, yes. What you have described though is the exact lived experience I grew up with. My parents liked the idea of being parents, but not the work that goes into caring for the individual. I was very alone and couldn't understand why, what must be wrong with me. I tried so many times to get them to sit down and learn my needs, and most of the time I barely even knew what my needs were, I just knew that I was hurting and they didnt understand it or feel the need to learn why. It felt like I just didnt understand how to be a person, like I could never do things right. That is not your fault. You are their child, and when they took on parenting they should have been ready to take on getting to know you too, and I am so sorry that they havent.

I know how hard that is to get through. I know how scary it is doing that alone. I'm still recovering from a lot of it. And I know you weren't necessarily looking for advice, but if you want it here it is:

At all costs, do what you need to to keep yourself safe. You are another beautiful part of our community, you are valued, you are important. If you can get through this, love yourself as much as you can, try to find the easiest ways to get by, find coping mechanisms, find community, then you're going to make it out of there and into your pack some day, I promise. I know it's not easy, and I am so sorry for that. But you are a very brave wolf. I know you can do it. There will be a day where that collar comes off and I am so very excited for you to get there. There are so many people out there just like you, you just need to find Your people. Never ever give up on that.

I moved out of my parents house last year, and it's almost been a year now. It hasn't been easy, but I feel so, so much better. I feel free. I'm working to heal from the way I was treated. I control my life, I'm flourishing, and I feel loved and understood by the people I've surrounded myself with.

You will get there, one day. You just have to make it there. And I'm going to be cheering for you. Every other wolf out there will be cheering for you. There is love and understanding waiting for you in the world and I cant wait for you to see it. In the mean time, I just need you to keep loving yourself as much as you can. Your pack will be waiting for you

[fatuismooches]

Hello smooches, its been a while since i popped up here. Been busy with school since i missed like a whole semester bcs i was hospitalized 💀 now i have to catch up with everything.. (pls send help-) anyway, I hope u and the others are doing well 🙏💞

Also, i want to share a very messy Capitano brainrot or a very random thought that have been plaguing my mind for the past few weeks 💀 and its about him having separation anxiety (or fear of losing someone he loves), especially towards *cough* fragile!reader *cough*

I know it is VERY ooc of him, but to me just the thought of someone like him having that just tug a string in my heart 😔

Just think about it, that man must have been through a LOT before he became known as the strongest individual in teyvat and being feared by many people, even being called a monster bcs of how strong he is when he is on the battlefield. Even how bloody his hands are, there's still "someone" (cough reader cough) who really cares/loves him, accept whoever he is and makes him happy. But suddenly that person fell sick and their health keeps deteriorating everyday while he doesn't know what to do to make his sick lover better? (Sure, he can protect reader from any harm. But, can he protect them from getting unknown disease?) Don't mind me, i'll just lie down here and cry-

Also i have this scenario in my head, like the way he walked so fast as soon as he finally touches the front door of their shared home when he came back from expedition just to find reader. He NEEDS to see them with his own eyes, even though all of his subordinates and their house attendants already told him that reader is fine on the letter he recieved everytime he asks how's the condition of his sick lover.

The moment he sees reader, weakly trying to walk towards him to welcome him, he just basically grabbing onto them and hugged them and they can hear tiny quiet aborted breaths coming from under his.. Helmet(?), mumbling breathy words that sound jumbled together but due to their proximity they can vaguely make out a 'it's okay, they're here, they're still here.. and alive.. and not gone..' Reader, after hearing that and seeing him like this for the first time, it really made their heart squeeze painfully and hugged him tighter

Again i'm so sorry if this doesn't make any sense, i really need to get it out of my head ASAP but i also tried to make it as not messy as possible 😭😭 anyways, i really hope that u have an amazing day smooches! 🙏🛐💞

(It seems that everyone already completed Fontaine really fast, and then there's me who barely have time to play and missed some events in 3.8 too 😭 æügh- rip primogems 😔 also, Neuvillette.. the temptation of wanting to pull for him is too strong after seeing his drip marketing 😩)

-🥝

🥝 ANON!!! OH MY GOD I MISSED U SM. I WAS WORRIED BUT IM SO GLAD YOU’RE OKAY. Ahh that sounds really stressful I hope you’re making sure to rest and take breaks too :( *hugs you* But I am doing well, thank you 💞💞

But OUH. YOU RETURNED WITH SOME HEART-BREAKING DIDNT YOU 😭. Noooo the way you described his past makes me so sad :( Yes, there are a lot of people who respect him, but of course there will always be people scared of him. His great reputation won’t stop rumors from floating around, but he’s come to accept that. Especially when he has someone as lovely and kind as you, who shows their love without a moment’s hesitation, what other people think doesn’t really matter. Really, he’s come to value your opinion so much, he always takes what you say seriously even when it’s so obvious you’re joking.

OUCHHH I CANT EVEN PUT IT INTO WORDS. He’s so used to fighting things, things that have a physical form of course. That’s how he can protect you. But what can he do when sickness has no form? What use is he when he can’t cut through what’s ailing you with his sword? His hands are made for battle and killing but there is nothing he can kill that would make you better. 

Well now you’ve got me thinking about that too 😭 When he walks in he doesn’t even acknowledge his staff, just walks straight to your room to make sure you’re okay. I feel like the Fatui soldiers in his squad have grown to the point where they try to get everything done as soon as possible just so their captain can have even just a moment more of time to spend with you.

He would get so worried just seeing you out of bed, his heart rate would spike for a second and quickly support you and get you back to bed. But first he would just hold you tight, enough so that he can hear your heartbeat, feel your warmth and pulse, and know that you’re still truly here with him. He just needs to know you’re alive, he often finds his hands near your chest and wrist, to feel you breathe in and out. It’s really comforting to Capitano considering how he deals with death every day. After those few words he lets out, you know he didn’t mean for you to hear them, but now you have and you’ll do your best to reassure him. Just guide his big hand to your heart and let him feel the beat of your heart, how as long as he’s by your side you’ll swear to keep it beating for him :(

THANK YOU FOR THIS 🥝 ANON I’ve been missing Capitano a lot and your brain rots with him never fail 😫For the sake of my heart fragile reader got better thank you very much <3 And don’t worry about Fontaine or Genshin in general! It’s not going away and you should focus on yourself and your life first :) But when you do play I promise you’ll have a great time, Fontaine is very pretty and relaxing :) (Yes… join me in pulling for Neuvillette >:)))

[anendoandfriendo]

Tw syscourse, no pressure to read or respond if you dont have the energy or just dont want to for any reason

You seem like the sys to ask about this, because i know youre a disordered endogenic system. Obviously a system that didnt form from trauma can experience trauma, and a system that wasnt always disordered can become disordered. I was wondering if in your opinion CDDs are always caused by trauma? Intuitively i feel like there are potentially non-trauma reasons to have a dissociative disorder, just like theres non-trauma reasons to have an anxiety disorder. Certainly if somesys ever told me they had a CDD for non-trauma reasons i would believe them, but i dont know if ive ever seen a system describe themselves that way. All the conflicting opinions ive been seeing in pro endo spaces is bringing the topic to mind

I mean, there are always exceptions to the rule, if that's what you're asking?

We're not sure if it's our plurality that's disordered though (we have definitely been back and forth about it however).

It's kind of the same logic of correlation here, like, unless it explicitly says trauma like in CPTSD and PTSD we see zero reason to see it as causative.

And even CPTSD and PTSD get fucky. Like, what about exomemories? Or like what about the fact they explicitly require trauma to be a that is directly in person regardless so even if you had the exact same synptoms they can just go "nope sorry baby you cant have PTSD" just like that if it was work related stress?? Like, we actually wonder how much of burnout is just PTSD but because "According to the current diagnostic criteria, assessment of PTSD symptoms is appropriate only if criterion A is met, i.e., the individual has had a qualifying exposure to a requisite trauma. Without this trauma exposure, psychiatric symptoms reported by an individual would not qualify as PTSD symptoms." yada yada yada.

(Also that comment "some trauma experts criticized criterion A in the DSM-IV as too inclusive" is really, really telling here. Is trauma only big things, or small things too??? Why draw the line here?? Is it possible the DSM itself is contributing to the stigma of its own disorders???)

So, going from there — if the only thing differentiating PTSD from burnout is literally about the immenancy of the threat you're forseeing ir experiencing, how is that any different from like. An endogenic CDD.

Psychiatrists aren't there to help you and the DSM is an insurance bible. Like. Just based off of that alone. So why the hell should we. Like. Gatekeep CDDs if even the most "basic" of diagnoses get so so much debate.

We should always let the person decide for themselves how to identify. 🙃

Sorry if this was all hard to read: we're literally going through a really bad burnout rn, without going into many details.

- Hailey (Admin)

[nerdygaymormon]

hello! o/ im a queer teenager from canada! i lead my highschool's gsa and am very active in the queer community around us. we raised $800 for the Trevor Project last year, raised $500 towards a chest binder breakroom at our school and are officially putting on the school's first all-age queer prom this may!

however, im very confused at the moment. i grew up in an atheist household and have never really found myself believing in God or anything religious. while i still dont think i believe ALL of it, lately ive been doing a lot of thinking after finding an old pocket bible that belonged to my great grandmother (she practically raised me but i never knew she was religious, she never mentioned it at all) and flipping through it and reading her flagged scriptures (i believe thats what theyre called, forgive me if im wrong), etc.

i then resorted to the internet and have been doing a bit of research and am now very conflicted about my feelings and beliefs. i now have moments where i genuinely believe there is something/someone divine out there. i find myself... almost talking to it, sometimes? i dont really know how to describe it. i even tried praying the other day for the first time in my life. (i probably didnt do it right if theres a proper way, but the point is i did it and i surprised myself.)

even though i have these moments, i still have times where i doubt it all. aside from the occasional joke, ive always done my best to be respectful of people's faith, but never saw myself believing until now. and when i say believe, like i said before, it isnt all of it. (like the creation of the world, etc)

i feel sort of fake in a way i dont know how to describe because of my conflicted feelings and how i dont believe everything. there are a lot of things i want to say about it but i really cant pull words from the emotions and i keep trying to. i also dont really have anyone in my life who i can talk to about this stuff. my family will not take me seriously and none of my friends and teachers are religious.

i dont know if you take asks like this, and its totally fine if you dont, but if you have any kind of advice it would be greatly appreciated.

sorry for the long ask, but thanks so much! hope youre having a wonderful day my friend 🤍

Congratulations for all you accomplish for queer students at your school! That's amazing!!!

That you find some aspects with religion resonates with you shouldn't be surprising or upsetting. Humans have been creating and practicing religions since before there was recorded history. There seems to be a need that is satisfied by religion.

In a broad sense, religion does 3 thing:

1. It provides an explanation for natural phenomena. Why is the ground shaking? Why did the sun go dark temporarily? Why is there a drought? Why is dad sick? Why did a hurricane pummel New Orleans?

2. Religions provide meaning to life. Religion provides answers for what is the purpose of life and what happens when we die. Religions are a vehicle for passing along the wisdom from past generations from hundreds and thousands of years ago.

3. Religion helps humans build community and encourages cooperation among those who believe. Religious belief also helps people develop self-discipline. Unfortunately, religions also have been used to define who is in a community and who is not, and this has led to a lot of harm and even wars

Beyond all these macro reasons, religion is experienced at the individual level. An individual prays and receive comfort and answers and feels a larger entity cares about them. Their faith gives them a purpose. They have a community that is meaningful in their lives. This is part of the truth of their lived experience and can't be easily quantified. It's what makes religion still relevant in the lives of many people today

[the-meme-monarch]

oh oh chulip headcanons, got any abt Julie? I thought it was neat she used to be an idol, and just by basic virtue of "time passed since the game was made" one of the older school type ones.

i will also do goro, love interest, and the cat bc i don't think i have enough to constitute them being in their own posts!!! and in case no one asks for them. and they are Family

-its a fond headcanon of mine that just about everyone in llt is Not Human so julie has non-retractable claws, sharp canines, and four eyes (her eyebrows) :], love interest inhereted the claws and canines. I'm not certain yet but im thinking goro is. a sentient sweet potato thing in human form based on his section in Her Heart .

-love interest's bow emotes like cat ears :]

-julie and goro are t4t. when you show julie dr dandy's card she says "[love interest] was born at that hospital". notice she didn't specify who gave birth to her

-love interest is also trans

-when love interest ran away it was moreso that she went to school one morning and just. never went back home. stuffed her telescope and sleeping bag into her backpack and left

-this isn't My headcanon but I adopted it as well. goro is so so good at making sandwiches. i think he's actually a better cook than julie(her yakitori being described by Everyone as being burnt and/or raw, where goro considers his sweet potatoes to be art and also they heal you so i don't think Julie made them.)

-love interest used to help her mom cook or help goro sell sweet potatoes :] she was the one keeping the business afloat really .

-julie and goro having been an idol and a movie director and A Couple, made llt into a bit of a tourist attraction. before then llt was literally only known about bc of lover's tree, (which i like to think that in-universe the "[name] and [name] sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g" rhyme came from! it is inaccurate to actual lover's tree lore and it pisses llt residents off So Bad!) anyway them being individually popular and Together put llt like Actually on the map. but julie was a one hit wonder and goro's career fizzled out around when love interest was born (his last movie being akuma doll). julie opened a restaurant to try to keep an audience, but well. she is Not a good cook.

-goro was famous for his movies bc they were so bad they're good. y'know.

-goro and julie don't really wear their wedding rings, with julie cooking all the time, and goro's just not much of a jewelry guy, but he wears both their rings on a string/necklace tucked under his shirt :']

-also according to the jp guide book goro isn't good at expressing his emotions. so not a headcanon but i think it's worth mentioning

-also sorry to be a goro stan but i need to mention it. julie is not faultless in their relationship. please remember that julie threw out his movies (which were important to him. he literally ran a movie theater) and she belittles him in every interaction they have up until she thinks he's Dead. she slaps him when you first meet them. goro is not physically abusive. him throwing the bottle was a Final Straw type moment. not that goro isn't also without blame but it makes me fucking seethe that people put all the blame on him when the point of julie's kiss quest was highlighting that they're Both flawed people but can Both grow and become better. i can only guess people treated him as the aggressor like that bc of his alcoholism, and how julie was the one harmed at the apex of the bar scene from the wine coupon, and the "she likes cats, she'll be fine" line WHICH i think that translation did it a disservice. I think he meant "she's like a cat. she'll come home when she's ready". y'know.

-we know Julie has been living in llt since she was at least 8 years old (when you show her the micro gum she tells you about an incident from then) but she doesn't know that microgum makes you small? and she doesn't know that the graveyard doesn't mean an Immediate death sentence. I think she just didnt know abt microgum bc She Was Eight and then her time as an idol made it hard for her to connect with the rest of town (being hounded by the media/fans/paparazzi) so she never even found out that That Kid probably didn't Just Disappear he probably just got small, and then even after that she just didn't get out much bc she had family and restaurant to maintain. maybe only a few people even know that being sentenced to the graveyard doesn't mean Instant Death. policeman does just shoot on sight at night after all

-julie and policeman seem to be/to have been friends? he knows that the hair pin poor boy stole is julie's and that it's special to her. and julie says he's a good man .

-the cat disappears behind the hospital every night. i like to think it knows everything abt everyone in town for it's quiz at the end bc it lives in the walls of the hospital and is eaves dropping/reading dandy's documents

-love interest straight up did not name the cat. but maybe post-game she does :]

-this is less of a headcanon and more of an idea for a potential re-release, but i think it'd be neat if you Could kiss the cat, but as you level up the cat gets more and more upset with you, until eventually trying to interact w it at all it attacks you. then in Her Heart we find out it's because you've been getting closer to love interest and it's jealous you're going to take her from it (it's line in-game "[poor boy] is trying to steal my [love interest]"). and rocky. let me kiss rocky

[aronarchy]

[image ID: a screenshot of a Tumblr interaction.

On May 3, someone posted, “[cloud emoji]: [redacted] blinkies <3 anti abuse only plz,” with six blinkies, captioned “all made at blinkie.cafe”

On June 2, critical-collective reblogged the original post. A third person reblogged this reblog, saying, “Many of those you would consider pro-abuse would consider themselves anti-abuse, and I can firmly say that even without knowing your stance. Sorry, but this is literally the same as ‘basic DNI,’ ‘DNI shitheads.’”

critical-collective reblogged from the third person, adding the tags, “#tbh i didnt even see that anti abuse thing when i first rbed #i was just captivated by the rolal blinkie #but rbing for that addition #also important to say that you cant really control who uses the things you post to public domain”

/end image ID]

I’ve been seeing this take more and more often among people I would consider friends/closely acquainted comrades, and I strongly disagree. It’s kind of worrying, actually. I’d wanted to address this earlier, and even started drafting this post weeks ago, but unfortunately stress + ADHD made me unable to actually finish writing it until now.

I remember seeing a similar sentiment around here from this following set of answers to anons. I hadn’t wanted to say anything about those answers at the time, because I was triggered and distressed, and thought it wasn’t really important enough of an issue to make a fuss about. But I think I’ll talk about it now, and I’ll also take this chance to address these in the same post, because they run on similar faulty logics.

[image ID: three asks sent to a person (not through Tumblr) about 1 month ago.

The first ask:

I see that many [[people in a certain community/demographic] think that [thing which is a form of sexual abuse] does not count as real sexual abuse,] but [they see that] others unfortunately [are] being real victims of predators and get sexually abused [(what does count as “real sexual abuse” under their framework)], so although wouldn't it be more logical to be anti-abuse than anti-[term for a set of behaviors which all constitute abuse (we believe we are correct in considering them to be abuse), though the aforementioned individuals believe that only some of them are abuse)]?

answer:

“Anti abuse” sounds like “anti bad things, pro good things” to me.

second ask:

Are you not anti bad things pro good things?

answer:

I try not to define my political positions in ways that describe my attitude more than what I actually want.

third ask:

But some people do think abuse is good, even things they themselves consider “abuse” (with that word).

answer:

Most people I’ve come across agreed with me that abuse is bad. We just defined abuse differently. And that, together with how sensationalized the concept of abuse is and how easily people get aggressive at the slightest implication that they support abuse, makes me not want to use this word as often. There are other ways to say the same thing.

Some portions have been redacted. The text in brackets was edited in by me to clarify context or make things easier to read.

/end image ID]

(I’m aware that this might make the OPs feel attacked. To clarify, I don’t intend this as an attack of some sort, just as a way to air my disagreements and frustrations and possibly provide useful information or arguments. Usually I don’t say anything at all when a friend/close acquaintance says something which I find problematic, because I don’t want to make people mad/upset at me, and feel like nobody would agree anyway. I’m not mad and don’t want any apologies; just bringing up points for consideration.)

It’s very important to me that people do not confuse what “should” be done from what “can” be done. It’s true, for example, that it’s difficult to truly have control over who reuses your designs you post to Tumblr. That doesn’t, however, make it wrong for you to wish for your creations to be reshared in respectful and ethical ways. Is it actually wrong for someone to violate a “do not use this if you are X”? I don’t know; the ethical considerations surrounding boundaries regarding non-direct interactions like these are far more ambiguous and difficult to determine. That doesn’t mean, however, that we should use doomer arguments—the logic of “you can’t enforce this, which is why you should not expect (want) people to respect this” itself can be applied to anything. Including boundaries that are much more obviously obligatory to respect. Leaving this open is dangerous. A similar set of arguments applies to DNIs in general.

And is it wrong for, say, a bigot to interact with a marginalized person who says “people bigoted against my identity DNI”? IMO, yes, but not really because I’d say “all DNIs are always inherently wrong to violate”; it’s because a bigot, with the beliefs they hold, makes those marginalized people unsafe. But the very same DNIs that are (pretty much) most unambiguously unethical to cross are also the ones which are hardest to enforce, because by definition bigots do not care about the boundaries of marginalized people. But, using this to argue against DNIs as a whole misunderstands the reason why many people say “[bigoted group] DNI.” They know that it’s not really enforceable without a block, but it sends a message: that this is what they want, and it indicates what they believe, and that they are likely hostile to bigotry. The same logic applies to abuse apologia.

This is in no way the same as things like “basic DNI criteria” or “DNI shitheads.” “Basic DNI criteria” and “shitheads” are nebulous, basically impossible to define universally, because they can’t be the same among everyone; they're by themselves vague and extremely subjective. But “abuse” is not such a term. Abuse is possible (arguably easy!) to define objectively, and one should expect people to adhere to a single definition of “abuse” (and believe that it exists). Of course most people don't agree on what constitutes “abuse”—and that is a problem, actually! Most people are abuse apologists; that’s not a good thing. Of course most people aren't the type of edgelord that’s unironically supportive of what they personally believe does constitute “abuse.” That doesn’t mean they’re not actually pro-abuse though; it means they’re wrong thinking some abuse isn’t real abuse. But the solution to that is not to cater to their abuse apologia, to coddle them and refuse to tell them the truth for the sake of some liberal ideals of “tolerance” for a “diversity of opinions.” Some opinions are not valid! Some opinions are harmful!

Bigots (in general) use the exact same tactics, rejecting labels like “racist” or “homophobe” when they’re accused of being such, because they don't believe what they’re promoting or doing “counts” as “real” bigotry or oppression. That doesn’t mean they're right about that. It also does not mean that people should stop saying “I don’t want [bigots] here” because “well what about the [un-self-aware bigots]!!” (They are un-self-aware bigots, not people who just happen to have a neutrally different and equally valid opinion on what constitutes bigotry.)

Ceding that the definition of abuse can reasonably/should be relativized is what abuse-relativizers (and abuse advocates/abusers in general) have been cheering on since forever. They believe that “abuse” is “simply a word to indicate nebulous individual feelings of perceiving Bad Things” because they support abuse and don’t view it as a serious issue specifically defined by exploitation of power/violation of autonomy which is inherently unethical, and view victims as lying, overreacting, contemptible, and unreliable witnesses to or interpreters of our own lives. They apply this view to victims/survivors all the time, dismissing our concerns as simply “subjective feelings” or Moral(tm) Judgment(tm), and cast this labeling as “demonization.”

The term abuse is “sensationalized” in most people’s minds BECAUSE of pervasive abuse culture and pro-abuse attitudes. Of course many people only believe that Actually Extremely Bad actions are “abusive”—they don’t have a good understanding of what abuse is! That is a very bad thing! It is one of the most important factors in making most abuse go undetected and most victims unsupported! (Meanwhile, the actual problem with the anon’s statement and beliefs went unaddressed, missing out on a useful opportunity, because the responder decided to focus completely on the wrong problem.)

I can’t really take this (the responses to the asks) as just some sort of personal preference indicator regarding terminology and comfort levels. It’s clearly a capitulation to abuse culture that fundamentally misunderstands the dynamics at play, and ultimately reinforces these problems.

Yes, much of abuse victim advocacy advises that (at first) you should not directly use the term “abuse” when telling someone that the abusive behaviors they’ve experienced were wrong or that their abuser is harming them. But that has never been a call to keep doing that forever, perceiving avoiding the term “abuse” (them having internalized their abuser’s abusive rhetoric) as some sort of good thing. It’s a crucial part of healing and breaking free from abuse to be able to understand that the abuse was in fact “abuse” and that abusers are abusers.

The word “abuse” is language extremely important to victims/survivors and anti-abuse activists. Abuse apologists’ fear of/aggressive opposition to being labeled abusers is a clear indicator and product of their own ignorance, entitlement, and oppressive ideologies. That makes it even more important to confront their problematic rhetoric and lack of understanding instead of defanging our ability to analyze and critique power dynamics and advocate for ourselves.

Everywhere I look I see people wanting to water down, co-opt, or constrain the language developed and used by survivors because nothing will satisfy them but, ultimately, complete silence. Everywhere people seem allergic to the term “abuse,” complaining that it is “too strong a word” and maybe you shouldn’t use it? I mean it’s kind of harsh/mean/too extreme/subjective/exaggerating/hysterical isn’t it? Just pick a different word!!! (No word ever truly satisfies.) I’m fucking tired of this bullshit and I don’t want traces of it to stick in places where I am supposed to feel safe and have my issues and my needs understood too.

(update: talked it out with the aforementioned third person; we mostly agree)

[sadasspisces]

A secret no one knows about me, it's me. No matter how close I get to someone I can never be me. Because who I am is never enough. How I act, how I talk, how I love, the things that intrest me... it's never enough to make someone stay. Friends or lovers. I have been and always will be a disappointment to everyone I meet. I will leave this world alone. Without a single person to miss me, because they never truly knew me.

i understand this so much lol. it's almost as if i typed this, very close to things i say on the regular.

i'm going to give you some advice that i need to take myself but won't lmfaooo, um so i know it can get incredibly lonely, and idk about you but i have abandonment issues through the roof and it sounds like you might as well. ive found an odd comfort in my own company due to feeling how you described, but again it does get lonely, sometimes you wish you had at least someone to just have to like share things with or just genuinely like you for just who you are and what all comes with you. but there are people that can come around, that won't go and i'm trying to realize that. it's hard when all your life people have literally left. and i'm sure you do have someone that would miss you, my own family don't even know me personally, like no one in it but i know a few that would actually miss me, not many but a count on one hand if that. and tbh that's enough, you don't need a whole lot of people.

there are maybe like a total of 3 people i can say really know me, like the real me. things i like, things that make me cry/sad, my interests, me as an individual. i don't open up to many people ever, because same, the fear of them leaving. but you will find people that will be open to knowing you as a friend/lover. like its possible but you have to shift your mind a bit and also stay true to yourself, don't get too wrapped up when accepting someone in. like i try to give trial runs first, the people i consider "close" i didnt properly open up too until maybe months to years later lmfao literally every year they learn something new about me cause i have problems ofc lmfao. i'm an open book but i'm not an open book, like i won't read my book outloud if you get my drift. but yeah i feel it all starts with you first.

i can definitely relate though, and idk but i feel its a mental health thing. no ome truly knows me and i feel if i was to leave too, no one would truly miss the real me because no one knows who i truly am. so i get it, but try to start with yourself first, find some peace in yourself somewhere. 🧡 sorry this was super long but i hope it helps you some lol alsooo you could always message me, i suck at responding because my own mental health is poor lmfaoo but i will get back to you eventually but yeah take care i'm always here ☺️

[theshadowrealmitself]

Ok sorry i spent some time looking around for what the word might be a couple days ago after watching the Hannibal ep, but eventually once i ran out of ideas for media wikis to look at,

and moved on to papers and gov resources,

kept just running into the scary criminological rhetoric/passive attitudes that seem to pop up in most academic writing on the subject lol, so i eventually gave up for a bit/took a break. (Flashbacks to criminology courses where instructer describes a non neurotypical behavior, struggle, or thought, sometimes then applys it to 'psychopaths', goes "isn't that scary???," And then all the future cops agree. Ugh. Did manage to accidentally scare them with my autism tho. Diversity win?)

----

Knowing it was criminal minds i think it may just have been surrogates? I think that was one of the ones that sounded not quite right/didnt match, but all the killers ive found in the synopsis, and rundown, of criminal minds eps. w motives like this refer to the victims as surrogates.

(Eg: "A serial killer known as the Road Warrior is gunning down blonde women on roads in Orange County, California and the BAU suspect that the victims are surrogates and that it's only a matter of time before he kills the real one.")

There are also a couple fishy sites and sketchy behind a wall papers that appear to be using the word surrogate to describe the 'muse' in that sort of killer MO

-----

Some papers use surrogate victim as something else, though, it seems?

[Eg: A surrogate victim is generally defined as an individual who has experienced actual harm, but not by the offender who participates in the process (Umbreit et al., 2007). Surrogates are commonly associated with Victim Impact Panels (VIP), also called surrogate impact panels (Kerrigan & Mankowski, 2020).]

Which is not what you were thinking of. The above is probably either the real world meaning, or a duplicate term, or something. We're looking for what a TV show would say, anyway. Or at least what they would quote. Dont know from where, though. Hmm.

---

Some random persons criminology course notes also refer to them as surrogate victims/surrogates. (Mind you they also have notes that mention the superego and other stuff debunked in psychology but thats criminology courses for you, i wouldn't blame them personally. Its probably just being used as a synonym for ethos/conscience as well as learned bias. There were more than a couple particularly Freudian ideas and statements in there, though.)

Anyways uh yeah. Surrogates maybe? If not i can keep looking lol im also stuck on figuring this out at this point

- Hannibal anon ig

No it’s okay, thank you so much!!! I was thinking maybe surrogates or proxy or something like that but I think I saw the same thing you saw cause those formal definitions did not match how people usually use them

It probably is surrogate but this might be one of those times where the word just never sounds right again 😭

Thank you so much though!!!!!!

[lockedtowers]

im supposed to be getting ready for work so heres some run ons

aka brina rambles, also this is not rebloggable for a reason. this is shit ive worked on for ages. across blogs i have deleted and everything. i dont want random ppl rbing it without permission and taking info and i want it set up so if the info is taken it can still be traced back here. esp with how long ive been deciding on names for those courts lmao. they’re not the most ingenius or anything but i still put work into it yknow.

so anyways basically cassies bio dad vas is ofc a full blood fae, and a hybrid of the two main ‘courts’ by wonderland standards bc ofc im going with the basis that is shown both in syfy canon and ouat canon of wonderland denizens have a very different physiology to other realms, Jefferson in ouat remembered everything in his original life and just had the new memories shoved into his head too which drove him upending, i write that into cassie she has her old memories because of her physiology but the new memories didnt really settle in her head at all, so she only has vague understanding of it all. her twin brother has all his old memories but he also has the new ones so he very much so leans into the ‘im gonna fuck around and see what happens cause this is great’ bc hes a clown, but anyways. and yes i play it as jefferson is from wonderland, i write my jeffy on my sideblog, i also write grace, ima do what i want, but abc kept going back and forth with it, they mention his home in ouatiw but then in ouat they imply hes not from there so they didnt give a shit either, i can do what i want

but again main point, there’s no reason why other realms faeries would have the same physiology as wonderland faeries would, and ive played it into threads too before, the general descriptions of cheshire cats generally lean heavily faerie like, cassie is the cheshire while her twin brother is the dormouse, in syfy verse those are more titles than actual being. but shes a faerie she has an animal transformation which makes that also an actual being, and while her title is generally just ‘cat’ to most people, she is aligned with and technically a cheshire cat, she has the grin they associate with cheshires and she often times acts as a sort of guide, but also a very annoying pot stirrer in multiple ways, and a main thing that i play on a lot is how she guides ‘oysters’ aka humans to hatter, which is something people dont bring up a lot. in aaiw the cheshire cat is essentially toying with alice and leading her on to where she should go, and while alice is following the rabbit, the cat is manipulating the system in its own way as well. im actually gonna go buy another crappy edition of aaiw just so i can annoyingly tab it and stuff and im debating a cruddy paper one or a good hardcover— anyways

so like obviously creative liberties here, faeries arent really canon to wonderland at all but like fair folk magical aspects are still present, like the pig turning into a baby and shit, all the wildcarding that happens. creative liberties, its free media now to do whatever the fuck you want. i know many people hate adaptions and im sorry they hate fun im gonna do what i want.

now most commonly people separate fae by seelie and unseelie, or ‘good and bad’ faeries is often how they describe seelie and unseelie. and whilst im sort of doing similar (but giving them new names bc again, wonderland is not the human land, theres no reason that they have to have the same names) im also adding to it, adapting it, etc etc. Even in the separate courts, there are subtypes, but the royal families of each court would have at least a basic gift with all the powers of the subtypes, which is essentially why they’re the ‘royal family’ despite their own powers being so much weaker than an individual only showcasing one subtype of magic. more equals greater, despite the obvious issues with that, more or less.

The two ‘courts’ or ‘good and bad’ as the ‘good’ would have one believe, the current names i have going for them would essentially be translated to Deyreins, the ‘good’, and Bludveils, the ‘bad’ (i still have to fix the spelling on my bios on the sideblog tho lol). Bludveils centuries ago were cursed by the Deyreins to an eternal binding of honesty, which means they have to be truthful in words, but they can use twist the truth through twisting and confusing tales, purposefully manipulating it to sound like something else while theyre still being truthful, and basically just using loopholes to get their way. And the results of that curse is used against them to frame them as massively villainous, cruel, and evil creatures. What the Deyreins did not count on was the Queen of Hearts using this to further her own gain, and villainizing both sides as a way to essentially wipe them out from the face of Wonderland. Those that are left on Wonderlands main plane hide their species, and the rest had to escape to an astral plane to protect themselves from her.

But a large portion already had to escape because of Cassie’s father. Most will only recognize him by one of two names, the White Knight who destroyed the house of black and gave reign to the Reds and Whites, or as the monster, the creature of everyones darkest fears, the creature accused of slaughtering villages for fun and embarking on chaotic destruction for the thrill, The Jabberwock. By all accounts, he is both. His animal transformation is the monster itself and he was always the one taking the head, but never the one given the crown. Which is ironic given his existence is due to a romantic tryst between a noble of the Deyrein court and a royal of the Bludveil court. The twins didn’t get equal parts of the bloodlines the way he did, Cassandra inherited a lot more Bludveil than Deyrein, the curse affects her too, but Mason got almost nothing from it. It’s recessive in his body, but the curse doesn’t act on him. he has nothing to worry about, she does.

They’re only have fae though, the other half is Witch, their mother is the Queen of Spades and an extremely powerful sorceress, and trysts like that are not meant to happen according to the Deyrein courts, they are not supposed to exist. they’re essentially not allowed to because that threatens the order the deyreins built for themselves centuries ago and regularly slaughter bludveils for trying to fight against. no matter which way its sliced or diced, they’re in danger from just about every single point. if their family bloodlines got out, from the hearts for threatening the fact they stole the crown from the rightful heirs, from the deyrein fae for threatening their control over the other plane because its proof they can coexist in ways other than treaties and threats and submission.

and ofc jack is just a bitch whos mad cassie didnt bend the knee to him, is obsessed with her anyways due to her fae magic, and doesnt want his crown threatened that he never earned in the first place. he’ll say otherwise like ph i played my mother and i worked for the resistance, bitch you stole that land you stole that crown get fucked, anyways.

thats all my rambles on that bc funnily enough this was supposed to be about what blood does to cassie lol and i never got there.

[doctor-says-im-alright]

Look, I am all for devillainizing disorders but this isnt a good article. The information it has are straight up not true, including the section on differences between mental illness and just someone whos abusive.

This article is a problem in a few ways but I dont know if Ill be able to describe it in a way that will make sense to the people who really like it. If you set aside the focus on narcissistic abuse and just regard it as abuse + mental disorders, I am sorry to tell you this, abuse is a choice…. But not always one presented with easier alternatives. I mean think about it, abuse is fueled by emotion, what are mental disorders if not the fluctuation in emotion? Not to say by default you will be abusive, but this is so important because really, we all need to accept that we can be terrible to some people.

Theres no sugar coating it. I am sorry. We are all likely toxic in some ways and could be abusive. Its actually pretty easy to be. Its part of being a human and growing up. But this article is differentiating the two so much that its taking that awareness away.

The real issue is the people who think mental health disorders are an excuse. I mean thats just plain stupid. The whole first part of the article is closest. If you have a mental health issue and youre being a dick, its expected that you go get help and no one has to associate with you while youre like that. Same as if you didnt have one but struggled with abusive behavior. Fun fact guys- the treatment for both is the same thing.

Also a chart

Ive talked about this chart before, but its based on statistics. Tells you escalation of abuse and the reasoning for it.

Heres the thing though that everyone forgets about statistics- it really doesnt mean as much as you think. Sure it is statistically likely that someone who is murdered in a relationship, that their partner could have a personality disorder.

That means literally nothing though. Statistics work in general. It means NOTHING about individuals, I dont even care what kind of statistics you have. Example: 95% of the time a test for determining a spy is right but only 1 out of a thousand employees will be a spy.

Do you think the test will help you figure out who that spy is?

No not in the slightest. Infact, you may have a large group of suspects and not one of them is the actual spy.

there IS statistics talking about mental health issues and being abusive! You cant look away from it and pretend it doesnt exist, because it does. Hell, do you know how the diagnosis PTSD came about? But you just also dont know how statistics work, but more than that, you are less likely to recognize toxic behavior in yourself.

Id prefer that instead of lobbying so much about stuff in the article, maybe we just develop some compassion. Hey, even if someone with the disorder was abusive, they deserve help dont they? They dont deserve to go to hell? Cause someone is reading this likely does struggle with maladaptive behavior and either they wont see it or they are being demonized by their own group.

BREATHE OF FRESH AIR!!! An article about abuse that isn’t ableist!! Read this if you want to understand why “narcissistic abuse” is not real, only abuse is. And that people with NPD and other disorders are not inherently abusive.

[im-not-a-simp-i-swear]

heyyy, this has been living in my head rent free lately, so can i get headcannons of how the brothers ( + undateables if ur up to it) react to a mc who's dating a lower level demon, (they all have romantic feelings towards mc), and only find out they're dating a lower level demon when they confess their feelings

...WHAT?

Whatever you do dont present this mysterious individual to any of the brothers, they will not get along with them so easily, not after this...

💙LUCIFER

"Well WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE ALREADY DATING SOMEONE WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN!?!?!?"

The embarrasment behind this man is outstanding, love, such a delicate thing, confession, an even more fragile item, being rejected cause one's crush is already taken?? Dont even let me describe his pain right now

He will just stare in shock at you, heartbroken by this information, feeling like an idiot for not acting sooner, you'll watch as he walks away in silence, no goodbye or anything

He will avoid you by either hiding in his room and drinking his sorrows away with demonus or just not being anywhere he believes you'd be at, the avatar of pride could never look at your face after what went wrong

Pwrhaps you should keep your lover away from him... cause he will NOT be happy to see them

💛MAMMON

"WHAT!?"

The pain in his voice... he was your first man, your partner in crime, this moment, even after so much bullshit from him you could tell his confession was sincer, of course it hurts to him this reality

No, you must be lying, show him your partner, NOW. He needs to know why you would date a lower demon, why you wouldnt pick him, why you didnt fall for the great Mammon

Even if you agree to present your partner to him he'll still spoil you, his feelings arent fajed anyways so its only fair that he stays sincere to you... who knows... maybe he could make you fall for him and leave the other fool...

But one can always dream right MC?

🧡LEVIATHAN

"O-oh... of course you already have a lover... i mean why wouldnt such a lovely person like you already be dating someone?" "Even more its not like he could be any better than some lower demon... they qon your heart anyways..."

Acting aside, he is the avatar of envy for a reason, and boy oh boy can one tell

If you really love your partner maybe dont present them to ANY of the boys??? EVER???? specially dont do so with the levi, the envy is insane

When levi is alone however he wont call for you to hang out, he cant look at you without remembering the embarrasment and your partner who he wishes to be dead

💚SATAN

"........what?"

Have you seen that once scene in guardians in the galaxy 2 where starlord's dad is all like "it broke my heart to put that tumor in her head" and starlord is all like "what?" In this deep spookish voice? Yeah that id exactly how satan pronounced it.

Like father like son, he'll just walk away from you after he gets the answer, the last thing he wants you to see is his wrath

He has been planning for so long, he's read so many romance stories hopeing he could recreate the scenes with you... why must you pick someone else? This is fair... they must be putting up a facade right? R-right?

💖ASMODEUS

"...im sorry... WHAT?!"

he is in shock... when did you start dating someone? When did you meet a lower demon and fall in love with them? WHAT MAKES THEM BETTER THAN HIM????

He is the avatar of lust everyone should want him, but then why dont you want him?? He is supposed to be beautiful, charming, perfect, what does this stranger have that he doesnt??

We all know this guy has got some issues with his looks and himself, but this? This is what breaks him, there is no point in being him if you wont love him back

Idk what he'll do afterwards but just know it wont be any fun

❤BEELZEBUB

"Oh... my bad then.."

He sounds calm but in reality he is very upset about this, he got beaten by a lower demon, but as long as you are happy then he will be happy

This romance doesnt ruin your friendship with him right? You guys can still hang out and have fun together anyways right? This is fine, it really is just... fine

Beel isnt like his brothers, he wont get upset so easily for you being taken, sure the vines between eachother may be off but as long as you two stay friends then everything will be fine, some lower demon wont ruin your fun with him, nor will they ruin his fun with you

💜BELPHEGOR

"Oh..."

There are no questions, no comments, just silence, all the time he lost being in the attic could explain why he never knew about this demon lover of yours, but that doesnt make the pain and embarrasment go away

Perhaps avoiding you is best for the following days, the last thing he'd want to do is look at your face without feeling embarrassed or see you being all lovey dovey for your beloved

Never present him to them, he killed you, what makes you think he wont kill them, he just doesnt find it fair that some lowever demon gets your heart but not him, he'll be fine however, if he sleeps long enough and plays dumb for long enough maybe he'll grow out of it

[honey-milk-depresso]

so i had a mental breakdown in my server, sorry for people who just joined ignore my rants and stuff-

TW: Death, mentions of suicidal thoughts, me keeping pent up frustration for 5 months, uncensored words

but i was crying so much, it felt so gross, and geez idk how i broke my dam of emotions today but-

ever since my grandpa died, on the day of my birthday, it was the first time i had to ever think of crying in front of someone or just act natural and say “thanks” if they wished me. honestly i thought i didn’t deserve those wishes or gifts. i should’ve been there to see my granda’s last days but i was so busy with school and other things i couldn’t fly back to see him.

so, that was my first time ever concealing very hard i was super sad. then on top of it all, i have to tackle exams, and my feelings were just giving in, and i did not meet my expectations at all. i wasn’t proud of myself, and i was angry about myself for caving in to my own words, and yet again i resorted to not telling or showing people how sad i was.

my logic was (and still is) that if im not prioritising others, im being selfish and a horrible friend. the fact that i was growing to be more resentful towards the people i love didnt help either.

@his-jinny who deactivated after anons harassed them over plagiarism, anons kept complaining to me about how she was being a coward even after she left like im the culprit, and even before that demanded and pressured me to respond to the situation i wasn’t even involved in.

i was so annoyed, and frustrated, and i wanted to flip them off, but i didnt wanna be rude and insensitive since they also had a point my friend didnt listen to the blogger to stop doing that twice, i said something completely rational while i grew so irrational and feral about it.

and i kept it to myself.

my irl situation was... pretty stupid honestly. my social life got harassed by someone i thought was a friend, abandoned me when i was no use to help them in academics anymore after seeing my math grades drop to a B.

obviously, mad at that piece of shit, but i didnt really said anything much other than “they’re being shitty”. i felt way more than that.

time goes by, and everyone around me see me as that bratty over 3 fictional characters and i felt treated like dirt wipes by everyone. like even if i was useful once im dirty you threw me away and tossed me around like i wasn’t of any value. like i shouldn’t be treated with respect and you called me “bitch” and “motherfucker” and what not. yeah, i know that, don’t have to remind me thanks. and i was caught up in this dilemma of being truthful about how toxic i was getting or making sure everyone dont get hurt. obviously, majority feel great than one individual feels like shit, and i went with it.

i mean, being exposed to it would’ve naturally made me do the same, too, right? i felt like i was (and is) in no position to tell anyone off.

and it went on and on with people on tumblr, on discord, irl, online all treat me like fucking nothing and that im not in control of who i am and what i do, and it felt like i was living off of people’s expectations and feelings that i just crumbled.

all those dark thoughts... i thought of even caving in. i can’t express or describe to you how painful and how morbid and gruesome these thoughts were. i couldn’t even imagine i could think of such things of doing to myself.

i can’t tell you exactly what they were, but they were terrifying, and i was scared, and cold, and lonely in all those thoughts. if you compared “usual” me to when im really by myself and alone, you wouldn’t think that was me.

but being “me” online didn’t felt like me at all.

i felt that who i was is horrifying, and no should know. why would i want you all getting out of my life? i couldn’t imagine that!

but that’s selfish of me, keeping everyone to myself. then what am i supposed to do? cave into those dark thoughts and just do it? no, i wouldn’t, i would hurt people. but that’s pretty egoistic of me and selfish to think people would worry about me and be burdened or even bothered about me, won’t it?

so much dilemma, so much of spiraling down an endless hole of confusion, anger and desolation.

and to think i broke down after so long, crying in vc was so embarrassing despite having people tell me it’s not.

i was so mad at everyone and everything, i thought i was being selfish, and that they were too, but that’s all because it’s my fault for being the worst.

people who rant so confidently and even to me i wondered why cant i be like them? why do i have to hide and cower like a loser?

and i tell people you’re brave to be expressing your feelings, and i didnt. i was in a horrible state (and still am).

i was so mentally torn to shreds i started to be more exaggerated that im fine, i was happy, you think im in love with t*ey despite me saying no (like an annoying bitch- im so annoying-) and again i caved in to those anons saying im not worth to be in the twst fandom, or any fandom or with anyone. im just... a bad person.

im a bad person who cant handle themselves.

i wish i can take a break, but i cant. i have work to do and important stuff ahead of me i must continue on to work hard.

@rizavi-m @sherbet-shark @quaintl1ng @mehletmesleep thanks but i dont feel like im worth anyone’s time.

but hopefully, i won’t fall victim to those dark thoughts of mine.

[heyitsyn]

RANDOM SEIJOH HCs ACCORDING TO GIGI

a/n: this is a thing i cooked up between doing trig exam and ap gov review akdsjfldskfj

IM PRETTY SURE I ALREADY USED THIS GIF BUT IM WANTING TO RE-DO MY ENTIRE PAGE AND MAKING BANNERS SO THIS IS A TEMPORARY THING AJDJDJJD ALSO I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO THE KEEP READING THING ON THE APP BYE

oikawa def listens to indie music just bc he wants to feel unique and the 'iM diFfErENt fRoM oTHeR gUrLs' vibes

i FIRMLY BELIEVE IWAIZUMI HAJIME IS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO CHOMPS ON HIS ICE CREAM BC HE LIKES TO FEEL THE COLD ON HIS TEETH AKSJSKSKSK

meanwhile kunimi eats a kitkat like its pizza just CHOMP

makki caNNOT sleep without a pillow between his thighs LIKE LISTEN he has 2 sisters and they all told him its so comfortable and at first he was like,, ??,, then he tried and now cant sleep without it

bUT MATTSUN LIKES TO SLEEP WITH PILLOWS SURROUNDING HIM bc it makes him feel safe and like there are two body pillows on either side of him and hes kinda trapped in the middle aksjskdk

when kyo was younger, he was really short and although he had other pants, he loved this one pair but they were really long on him and he wore it all the time and the part of the pants that touched the ground is torn in shreds

kindaichi steps on the sofa before sitting LIKE puts one foot on the cushion then the other until hes literally standing on the couch before folding to sit with his knees up to his chest (i do this)

watari sniffs his food before eating it no matter if its something he eats all the time or something new, he still sniffs it either way

yahaba is really particular with his feet and he likes to get a really big tupperware (duh one only meant for his feet) and fill it up with warm almost boiling water and he just soaks them

oikawa has sleep paralysis and he oftens hallucinates about aliens in the corner of his room

kunimi does this thing where he makes weird noises with his mouth like sounds of his mouth opening LIKE when youre tastinf something new and you do that sound with your tongue (I DUNNO HOW TO DESCRIBE IT AJDKSKKD)

makki bends his knees just to crack his ankles

iwa sneezes a ton but he has those sneezes where theyre quiet that you dont even notice or really loudly that it just echoes throughout the gym

kyo sleeps with one sock on bc his feet gets cold easily but both socks make him feel really hot so only one sock is perfect

for a tall and hunk of a guy, mattsun is a very light walker like his footsteps are very light and if he wants to, it can be practically silent

watari actually hates vegetables ajssksksk he particularly hates zucchini, eggplants, any vegetables that are that shape

kindaichi likes to stick or lean against walls because to him, they feel cold and can decrease his body heat

oikawa stands and places his feet at V position like \/ instead of ll because his sister did ballet and he was taught that was the right way of standing and it was considered graceful

yahaba has a fear of cactuses

mattsun does so badly in the heat because his body temp runs so high and the hot surroundings make him feel so uncomfortable and so he takes a lot of cold showers

iwa cannot swim like he freaks out immediately when his toetips can no longer feel the bottom and he panics with thoughts of drowning

watari has really small feet that he still buys big kids shoes to save money

kyotani considered playing baseball because he thought baseball bats were cool but he got angry and threw tantrum after missing his first pitch

iwa chomps on a whole raw chili while eating ramen akskksks

oikawa actually hates sweets bc when he was younger, he had cavities and iwa showed him a cartoon of cavities eating his teeth and will make him toothless

kindaichi really really likes hugs but hes too awkward to ask them even from his parents

yahaba chomps on mints so he goes through boxes of them in a week

i feel like theres a boy in the team who doesnt brush their teeth everyday and rubs a towel on their teeth to make it look clean and take mints to hide their bad breath

iwaizumi is actually iron deficient so he bruises super super fast and he even developed iron defiency anemia when he was younger bc his parents didnt catch on which caused him to be put on strong medication for months and still takes it now

WAIT,, OIKAWA IS LACTOSE INTOLERANT BUT HE LIKES MILK SO HE EATS MILK BREAD TO MAKE HIM FEEL NOT SO BAD OR GUILTY OF CONSUMING STRAIGHT DAIRY

seijoh four bonding time is watching gordom ramsey shows and yelling and screaming 'YEA! EXACTLY!' as if theyre also cooking genuises

watari used to eat grapes all the time until his mom got worried and told him if he doesnt stop, he will eventually turn into one. he only eats it every few weeks

when he was younger, kunimi cried because he had befriended a chicken on a trip to a farm and his mom took him to eat fried chicken after and he thought it was Chicky (his chicken friend :"))

kyotani used to stick out his tongue when it was raining so he could taste the raindrops. they taste better than bottled water

one time, during a seijoh sleepover, they dared oikawa to wear his sisters old uniform, skirt and all, and it backfired so everyone turned red and couldnt look at him in the face

their pregame ritual is touching each other's shoe tips

they tried doing yoga at yahaba's house before by watching yoga youtube videos but everyone ended up having to go to the chiropractor after (how did makki even turn into the human pretzel?)

the local gym gets so scared when they see the team coming through the doors bc these men are so LOUD like they HYPE EACH OTHER UP SO MUCH THEYRE SO ANNOYING AKSKSKDK

also never take them to an all you can eat sushi place. if you do, bring them earlier of the day like 30 mins after opening time so the cooks can cook enough for them without running out of ingredients (even then sometimes they still run out)

oikawa used to eat his mom's roses from her garden because he thought it would make his farts smell good like roses

takahiro is a surprisingly good artist like he draws really cool action fighting scenes in the corner of his papers and stuff

in my work: it's canon that iwa is half filo and his nanay used to dress him up in a barong all the time during halloween bc she wanted him to showcase his heritage

yahaba drinks a lot of milk because he hopes to one day grow strong and bulky like the 3rd years instead of being seen as a pretty boy

kindaichi's mom is a hairstylist and she always scolds him for using a lot of gel bc she's always the one who washes his hair

makki never learned how to do taxes and hes had the government knocking on his door a handful of times (BOKUTO AKKDJSKKS)

kyo has a dog: a chiweenie

there's someone on the team who wears those socks with individual pockets for toes

their pinterest is so different from what they look like for example, mattsun has a board of different flower decorations and arrangements

kunimi throws up during intense horror movies

watari's celeb crush is emma watson

the team alternates from different music genres like from ateez and bts to mxmtoon and beach bunny

they still dont know how to pronounce camila cabello's name

theyre all active in social media but only oikawa is on it 24/7 and in all platforms while the others have insta and snap

mattsun has twins as little siblings and he used to get them mixed up all the time that he used to draw a sharpie dot on the girl's forehead to determine she was his sister

watari hates sitting on the floor bc his butt bone hurts really easily so he can only sit on cushions for long periods of time

the team was supposed to have a party but everyone didnt know what to bring so they proved they shared the same braincell by bringing the same thing: a box of pizza

makki's an old soul and prefers to play records on a record player or watch old movies

kyo is surprisingly good at giving massages because he really pushed hard on those tense muscles

kindaichi knows how to crack necks so everyone goes to him a lot to do it (a friend of mine does this and can i say its terrifying yet so good?)

the only one who has a license is matsukawa and thats because granny needs to go to the doctor a lot and he hates her walking by herself and cabs are expensive

kyotani and yahaba are actually,,, lowkey close,,, not like best friends but theyre nice to each other and they got a stick and poke together (yahaba's was: :) while kyo's was: >:))

watari has a collection of mangas (some bl maybe 👀)

WARNING SAD: mattsun’s future job is a funeral person right? he ends up taking care of granny’s funeral free of charge and he had to take a week off because it was really painful for him

oikawa learned spanish SUPER fast to the point he forgets japanese sometimes but there are moments where he forgets both languages and hes just,,,, ???

makki’s unemployed yea but he rooms with mattsun in exchange of cooking because makki’s surprisingly good at cooking

iwa is practically the nutritionist of the team because he knows everything about proteins, carbs, iron, and needed vitamins so they all go to him to know what to eat and what they need

kunimi has lots and lots of shoes but usually only wears 2

kindaichi has a habit of pretending hes chewing gum even though he doesnt have gum, his mouth just chomps and moves with air akasldfjkf

there was a clown phenomenon in america but in their city, they had a mascots and seijoh 4 went around scaring kids :”(

oikawa never manspreads he gets too insecure to spread out like that akdjfkd

kyotani can easily sleep anywhere like he would be standing and just fall asleep or he sleeps with his eyes open

yahaba’s parents own a restaurant somewhere in the city and he works there sometimes

IM REALLY GOING TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS YALL AKSDJFKL

SORRY IM WRITING TOO MUCH I FEEL BAD THAT I HAVENT UPDATED BUT IM IN A CAR RIDE RN AND I WAS ABLE TO WRITE AGAIN AND MY EXAMS HAVE FINISHED THIS WEEK IMMA CRY

PLEASE, FEEL FREE TO REPLY WITH ANY OTHER HCS YOU GUYS KNOW OF SO I CAN PUT IT IN HERE AND CREDIT YOU WITH IT SO WE CAN HAVE LIKE A HCS BOOK FROM EVERYONE BUT THIS IS WHAT I STARTED WITH

oikawa screams a lot according to gigi but he’s actually a really quiet guy and not easy to scare

OKAY YOU GUYS DONT KILL ME I SWEAR IVE BEEN SO TERRIBLE AT WRITING BUT YOU KNOW WHO TURNED ONE TODAY? THIS PAGE!!! MY BABY IS ONE ALREADY 😭😭😭 ANYWAYS, HOPE THIS CAN MAKE YOU GUYS SMILE TODAY AND SCHOOL ENDS NEXT WEEK AND IM ALREADY AT 132 DRAFTS AMSJKSDKSK SO OH MY GOD THERES GOING TO BE SO MUCH COMING AND IM SO EXCITED TO GET THEM OUT 😩😩

[boypussydilf]

ooo im gonna make u think about sumi so bad but with a twist this time ooooo give me ur thoughts on the yoshizawa twins RN

OOOOOOOOOH SHIT I DO WANT TO THINK ABOUT THEM AND I DIDNT EVEN KNOW. sorry hold on let me go rewatch sumis entire confidant now to really refresh and collect my thoughts on them- i wish i could. that would take an hour. so ill just fly in as i am <3

describe their canon relationship/dynamic

OBV we dont see a ton of it but i like what we know about it i think its interesting… how apparently kasumi like, made a lot of decisions For sumire iirc… they seem very dedicated to each other, the Let’s Do Everything Together And The Same kind of twins. or at least thats what kasumi wanted them to be like, and sumire kind of just… got used to everything being like that. and sumire kind of looks up to and resents her sister at the same time and thinks kasumi wouldn’t grieve her much and kasumi doesn’t seem to notice how Very Depressed she is… All This Being Said they obviously Are Very Close And Care About Each Other Deeply and were maybe, like, each other’s closest friends. i should focus on them a lot when i watch p5r again…

your ideal/headcanon version of it? how does it differ from how it is in canon & why is this your favorite version? any other alternate versions of it you enjoy?

since I haven’t really thought about them enough to have The Slightly Altered Yoshizawas From My Brain, I will instead think about hypothetical versions of their relationship that are not directly pointed to by what i remember of canon. for one thing again i think its said that kasumi would do stuff like pick sumires clothes, and that’s kind of what sumire got used to, and is still used to, Having Decisions Made For Her, but it’s also not what she actually Wants, once she thinks about it and gets the chance to just do stuff like. pick out a dress all on her own. how did they even, like, get to that point?? like did kasumi one day as a kid go Hey can I pick your outfit :) and then they just did that forever from then on? did it happen gradually?

they obviously were close but maybe not… the… Talking About Feelings And Serious Important Things kind of close. of course that could be a “Sumire has problems and issues and personally didn’t want to voice her feelings and complaints” kind of thing. or a “having a sibling your age when you are fifteen” kind of thing.

what do you like about their relationship, why is it interesting or enjoyable to you?

sibling relationships especially of the complicated sort are just, like, Cool <3 i like sumire being mad about her sister who she also loves. i like kasumi trying to cheer up her sister. she did not exactly succeed, but, you know, she was fifteen. she tried.

what about the individual characters involved? what does this relationship mean to them, what makes it unique among their relationships?

*points* Siblings. ok that can mean a lot of things i guess i should elaborate. a sibling, like, of the traditional sort, Person You Grew Up With or Person Related To You is. a lot of things! like thats someone youre kind of Stuck With and they can be like ur built-in Supporter or some bitch you have to share the world with or. both! and kasumi & sumires relationship is the way it is because They’re Siblings. if they were the exact same people with the same personalities but they weren’t family, thatd be a completely different relationship. the whole thing is formed by them being sisters. THEY, as People, are formed by them being sisters. woah. had a moment of staring out into the galaxy and seeing enlightenment there… ur family forms you… you are influenced just by having them around you…

anyway kasumi & sumire wanted to do right by each other kasumi wanted to have her sister by her side and happy sumire wants her sister to be proud… they want each other to be happy… oh my god…

favorite interaction they have in canon

We don’t get to See them interact a lot and um. You know <3 i know i like the Ice Cream Story sumire tells, but i cant actually uh, remember it right now, so. i also like kasumi going “it’s my job as the elder sister!” both bc its a fun cute sweet moment + informs what kasumi was like very well, and also, like. I think we still never got word on if they’re actually Twins twins or just, like. Siblings who are Super close in age. Is kasumi the Older Sister Proper or a twin born ten minutes earlier who made it part of her identity? Not sure. Both are good.

favorite interaction they have in your head/a situation you want to put them in

oh my god i have no clue honestly. i would love to have the chance to see more of just their Regular Interactions, i guess. A Day In The Life. see what they were like as kids or something. also there are of course barriers preventing this from happening but, wouldn’t it be neat and fun and interesting and probably very sweet to see kasumi react to phantom thief sumire?

i guess thats all. thank you i am now cursed to think about them in previously untold, untapped ways