#sorry i am not good at being concise lol

[icewindandboringhorror]

Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)

[lukesunbornn]

bruh i get such a superiority complex over being a good writer

[woozapooza]

Of all the opinions I’ve seen on The Sopranos since I started watching it last year, one of the ones I hate the most is the idea that Richard and Elliot are ultimately proven “right” about Tony. Richard and Elliot do not know Tony! They have never talked to him! And they are literally, factually, not right about him, especially Richard. In “Tennessee Moltisanti,” Richard—who knows nothing about Tony except that you shouldn’t use anti-Italian slurs around him—tells Melfi that eventually she’ll get past “moral relativism” and reach “good and evil. And he’s evil.” Later in that episode, in the family therapy scene, he says that Melfi acknowledged that, in her last encounter with Tony, she saw his “subhuman” side, a word I am 100% sure Melfi herself did not use because come on. Elliot at least doesn’t use these words, but he doesn’t see any good in Tony and consistently acts like Melfi is deluding herself by holding out hope for him. (I’m not going to get into The Blue Comet in this post for the sake of keeping it concise.) But Melfi has seen that Tony has compassion and a conscience, and so have we in the audience. We know more than Richard and Elliot, and so does she!

Now, Tony is obviously not a good person by any means. I think even Melfi would agree with that. But he is a person who, despite his harsh upbringing, despite the machismo and brutality his position demands, still has a tiny spark of tenderness and compassion inside him. That's what makes him so compelling! Of course he was never going to change for the better, because that’s not the kind of show this is. But that is a statement about The Sopranos, a fictional show made by writers who have a certain artistic vision in mind. It does not mean that Tony as a person—i.e., viewed from in-universe—had no choices, that he could never have changed for the better at all, that he was a destined to be a waste of Melfi's time. It's fair to disagree with Melfi's approach to treating Tony, but the idea that both she and the audience are fools for thinking that a human being who has been shaped into a villain by forces beyond his control is still a human being, with all the value and responsibilities that entails, is so fucking r/im14andthisisdeep it makes my skin crawl.

I realize this post is kind of dramatic, and partly that’s because, well, I’ve just always been the sort of person who gets really dramatic about her blorbos, but it’s also because I hate the brutally cynical, weirdly black-and-white worldview that’s implicit in this reading of the show. I hate it so much!!! The Sopranos is very realistic about the limits of what willpower can do, but it’s also very realistic about portraying its protagonist as someone deeply human: someone with a capacity for both evil and good, who does bad things and justifies them by pretending he didn’t have a choice, but I never bought it, and neither did Melfi. Tony cannot simply stop being a mob boss and start being a saint any more than he can simply stop being depressed, but he does have good in him, and he does have the capacity to make better choices, otherwise the story is utterly pointless!!! 

This has been on my mind because I read Emily Nussbaum’s article about the finale, in which she describes Richard and Elliot as “hard to listen to but essentially correct,” and sorry Emily, I think you’re very smart and a good writer, but my god, I hate this article. To me, it boils down to “the finale was Chase scolding us for empathizing with and caring about Tony” which is not at all how I see the show, and thank goodness, because I think it would be pretty ridiculous to spend eight years telling the story of a deeply human, deeply relatable character and then be like “lol wait, you guys related to him? Cringe! Hashtag society” or whatever. She says that in the final half season, Tony “was becoming his real self: the empty golem.” Seriously? The version of Tony who’s had most of his humanity sapped from him is his “real self”? SERIOUSLY? Okay. I’m gonna go calm down now. I promise. (I actually have one other point I want to make related to the Richard-and-Elliot thing, but I’ll save that for another post because this one is looooong.) I'd just like to close this post with this comment that I've posted here before and will probably post again because I love it so much and it makes me tear up whenever I think of it:

[nomorefstogive]

just some random idea I have on my mind. So both Shalom and Hecate are experiments of Paradeisos, they also have this Mania monster that are the emotions of that Sinner. So hear me out Chief and their like Mania creature thing? I remember scrolling through tumblr someone mentioned that Shalom said we are already a monster before they taken in us, like the person said what if in a literal way. Chief with their Mania form, their Mania form is strong because of the shackles connecting or supressing mania from Sinner, i headcanon they have a deep hatred on the Paradeisos. So yeah...(sorry 4 my bad English because it's not my first language)

🦀

Don't worry about the poor english you did very good, it's my first language and I have trouble with it at times too, so you are not alone my friend lol.

I would also like to preface this by apologizing if this reply is something of a mess, I am a little tired at the moment and trying to be concise and orderly with my thoughts and words is difficult for me on a good day lol.

As for the idea of the Chief being a Mania Monster similar to Nightmare or Rebel, it is an idea I have considered, my own theory is that the Chief has some type of bond or tie to the Perishing Star, given they were present during the Keylan Expedition and how easy it seems to be for the Illusory Moon and Mania to reach out to them during the Immortals events.

I feel that the chief is some kind of progeny or offspring of Mania, a sliver of humanity and hope given shape and form by Mania when it struck the earth and began to coalesce and seize power as it took dominion of the world from mankind, for either a long con or for other reasons thus far unknown.

Or perhaps it could be more apt to say that they were severed from Mania, with Mania as we know it reflecting the darkness and madness of the human psyche while the chief was to embody the opposite, being a beacon of control and order amidst the madness, something that humanity, so desperate for hope, would latch onto and nurture for the sake of its own survival.

The alternative to this is that the chief is something else entirely, some kind of entity that may have once been a part of Mania itself, or perhaps something else entirely, a wildcard left to roam free so as to grow and swell in might to be of better use come the time they are needed.

Apologies for the brief rant, I got off topic lol.

I agree with the chief having a deep resentment for Paradeisos, something that they themselves are likely unaware of the sheer depth of due to the interrupted rejuvenation leading to their memories being wiped before the story began...something which is oddly coincidental if you think about it.

I digress.

On the Subject of the Chief's power coming from them linking with the sinners and suppressing/controlling their mania, I agree that seems to be the case for their own growing strength.

That said, it makes me think that if their power is indeed growing with every Sinner they shackle, then the 'Rules' of Paradeisos are the only thing keeping the rising typhoon of manic power at bay, though one can only wonder how long such barriers will last.

If the Chief is indeed some form of Mania entity, something which is strongly hinted at in canon as well given some of the liens the Corpseborne and Parma say about the Chief, then it stands to reason that they could be either a defective corpseborn, as some seem to believe, or perhaps they are the final product of the process.

A being that is indistinguishable from a human and yet endowed with great and terrible power that grows more and more as mania spreads, as if their power is indeed growing with each sinner that is shackled and every corpus they consume, then one has to try and picture just what kind of monster the Chief will be when they are returned to full power and the 'Rules' fail.

I feel that when such a thing occurs, and it will occur, the Chief's old persona will resurface in full and Dis will be granted audience with a Vassal of Mania whose power exceeds any and all things they have witnessed before as Mania calls its Shepherd to its side once more to settle old scores with Paradeisos and the Underground alike.

Again, I apologize for going off course and starting to ramble, it tends to happen more often than not lol.

I feel that is all I have for this at the moment so I will leave this here, stay safe and take care.

[chameleonwritess]

as a baby yuzuruP trying to learn more abt the silly-- can you enlighten me on his wiki it talks abt him speaking in the third person when emotional??? I've only found that in a few stories and it's strange to me, do you have any commentary?

Oooo yeah, I almost forgot he did this!! It happens a lot in ! Era, a lot of the time if Tori does something nice (or objectively not that nice tbh) he’ll be like “this Yuzuru Fushimi is too moved for words!”

BUT, it’s essentially proven to be a disingenuous thing when he does it lol. Tbf, given he’s not one of the characters who always defaults to speaking in 3rd person (like Sora or HiMERU) it’s already a bit of a given that he’s doing it as part of a persona/as a bit, but this is further proven during Resort Live when Rei and Eichi have a whole conversation about how Yuzuru says the politest things but the underlying tone is soooo passive aggressive. See, one of my favourite Yuzuru moments:

Yuzuru: I, Yuzuru, am too moved to even speak

Eichi: Translate for me Sakuma-kun

Rei: “Quit naggin’ at me.”

Yuzuru: Fufu

Anyway, in short the speaking in third person thing is kiiiiinda not proper third person half the time, more just a self-address, and it generally seems to happen as part of his ‘polite butler’ facade whenever something happens that he deems to be emotionally moving such as Tori being kind to him. It almost feels like a way to ensure his ‘audience’ believes that he’s genuinely moved by what happened. Hmmmmm Yuzuru and masks. This is why Wataru finds him soooo interesting when they first meet (during Flower Fes ahhhh I love their interactions during that story)

Sorry for the rambling, I can’t be concise to save myself BUT!!! I’m so glad the world is gaining another YuzuruP. He is so good AGHHHHH

[alienisticxo]

Before the Fever - Chapter Thirteen

{Master Chief x Reader series - TV based}

{A╱N} nobody knows how sorry i am that this took me longer than i expected it to. life outside of here has kept me so busy, and i hadn’t been writing as much as i wanted, but it’s finally done! (i edited it, but i may be editing more once i read this entire series back to inspire myself further lol) we finally get into the glorious gloriousness 🫠 thank you so much as always for hanging in! i have this whole series outlined to the end so even if it takes me a little while sometimes, i will never abandon this story, its near and dear to my heart and your comments and kudos always keep me going too! 🥹🖤

Warnings: s m u t. i didn't want to make it as raunchy as I could've, so it's just some passionate smut 🥲

I hope you enjoy! ♡ 

Chapter Thirteen - Stardust

She kissed the corner of my mouth, down to my jawline, peppering me with little acts of love, compassion. It was like she was piecing me back together again, healing the scars on my body and in my mind with nothing more than her touch.

I knew the feeling would only last as long as this continued, and I knew it wasn’t the appropriate thing to do. Not amidst the war we were fighting, not amidst the way we were on the run, but there was nothing at this point that was going to stop either of us, it seemed.

There was nothing that could’ve kept me from acting on my love for {Y/N}.

Love.

That was a hell of a word, meaningless to me, at one point. But suddenly I understood it. I felt it. I knew it. I held it, and I was capable of returning it. It still baffled me, how strongly and suddenly it came. But there was no other explanation for the way I felt for her.

Believe me, I tried to find one.

She loved me. And I could feel it in the way she touched me, in the way she responded to my touch; her soft sighs, her quiet moans. Even more, it wasn’t only in this manner. I felt it in the way she held my hand in the Condor— kept it from trembling. In the way the smile touched her eyes when I told Laera she was coming with me. I hadn’t realized I felt it when I watched her staring up at the blue sky on Halo, the sun beams catching her just right; when she opened up to me that first night on Reach, at her lowest moment under Halsey’s control.

But I know now, and so does she.

This was a new field of experience for me— the entirety of it. But something within me had been awakened, ignited. I let the same long-buried instinct from our initial kiss lead the way, responding to her effortlessly as she gave into me just as easily.

Pulling her into my arms again, I kicked off my boots and lifted her off of the set of drawers, carrying her to the hallway. There was a guest room, I remembered that being offered from my first visit. I could’ve taken her right there, my avidity pushing to take over. But I felt she deserved better— she deserved something kinder.

She deserved everything good I could give her.

Her soft lips found mine again, and I occasionally peeled a hand off of her to graze the wall until I found the correct doorknob; not wanting to break the connection we shared. When I finally did, I swung the door open and closed it shut behind us, picking up the pace to the large bed in the middle of the room.

I hardly had time to register the view of deep space through the window wall just beside us, intensifying the heat of the moment. I’d have to compliment Soren’s home when I saw him again.

{Y/N}’s dainty hands traveled along my skin in a way that was still so foreign to me, but welcome beyond belief. Never having been touched so illicitly, so fully, lent to an entirely different range of sensation in various areas of my body. I was used to Medical’s sterile and concise touch when I was forced into frivolous repairs after battle. They were needed, I was told. ‘Stay still, sit down, don’t move.’ There was no love there. No care. Not like her, not like now.

She touched me like I would break— a laughable thought in any other situation. But she allowed me the space, the breathing room. She took care in every movement, and in doing so, allowed me to feel.

I couldn’t even begin to imagine what was to come. I was too wrapped up in all that she was as I laid her down beneath me, carefully climbing over her. It was easy to notice how tiny she looked in comparison as we shifted to the middle of the bed, my hands on either side of her frame.

She looked up at me through a half-lidded gaze, a strap to her dress falling off of her shoulder and offering an intriguing view that I’d never expected to see. I drank {Y/N} in, possibly for the first time in such a lurid way. She was even more beautiful in a natural state like this. In the vulnerable moment that we shared— that for once, I didn’t mind sharing.

Her eyes gleamed in the starlight, and I was suddenly more lucid than I’d ever been. Her skin was smooth, holding the smallest of details. I noticed a tiny silver necklace that I hadn’t seen beneath her clothing before. It reminded me of the dog tags I only took off to shower.

But the girl surprised me when she reached down, hooking her fingers around the underwear she wore beneath her slinky gown. So easily she tugged them down and off of her legs, her eyes never leaving their fixation. Her expression had changed. There was a daring look in her eye, but it was smoldered with a desperation I’m sure my own reflected back to her. Her hand dangled off the edge of the mattress, dropping the fabric before I felt her soft fingers return to my skin.  

The urges, need, surging through me were wildly unknown and unfamiliar. They were stronger than anything I’d ever felt before, and while I was usually the king of composure, keeping a handle on it felt impossible. I wasn’t naive to the ways of these acts, I’d simply never felt the desire for them.

Until now.

God, did I need her now.

Just her. Only her.

Always.

———

John looked like a god in the flesh above me, his powerful build just outlined enough in the low light of the vivid stars that hung in the atmosphere just beyond the window. He stared down at me through intensely curious eyes, raking over what he could see of my body. I silently hoped he enjoyed it.

The way he reacted let me know that he did.

He was only half dressed, the top gone but the bottom very much in place. Despite the passion of the moment building all at once, our hands and lips finding one another again, clamoring for any amount of skin we could find, it was still quite easy to feel how aroused he’d become. That alone sent me even higher than I already felt, the faint throbbing between my own thighs becoming more and more apparent; hard to ignore or control.

But I was sure I didn’t want to control it anymore.

Together, it was enough to have me decide I’d help him, taking the underwear I wore off and tossing it aside. To egg him on, let him know without words that he was exactly what I wanted, what I needed— more than anything and anyone in this entire universe. To show him that it was okay to keep going, to take it as far as we possibly could.  

And maybe it was bold to assume that’s what was going to be needed; that that’s what was going to come next. But there was no other act of passion we could partake in that would’ve expressed our love for each other any better than that. Without words, we spoke the same language. We felt one another’s burning desire along with our own.

After a few seconds of intense hesitation, John leaned down again, placing kiss after kiss on the flesh of my throat, eliciting heavy exhales from my lungs. I wanted to breathe him, to have him become a part of me, and me a part of him— entirely.

It wasn’t much longer before I felt his hand on my thigh, brushing it higher and higher until he was pulling the dress from me. My body seemed to arch all on its own to offer him an easier way to remove it, and he tossed the silky fabric aside.

I’d never felt more beautifully exposed to anyone than I had to him at that moment. His hands continued to roam, large digits exploring every curve and divet of my form— caressing; taking the time to relish in me as though he’d never have me again.

His hands were excitingly rough, but held the same delicate touch that they had before as one slid up my waist and over my breasts. He squeezed one, and then the other, a gentle fervency in his hold as his lips explored beneath my ear, traveling to the peak of my clavicle.

He trailed lower and lower until he found my nipples, his mouth wrapping around them as he took his time with both, tongue swirling and lapping lightly until he’d been satisfied with the reaction it pulled from me; a soft gasp in the quietness of the night, my fingers digging into his toned back as it contracted under my hands, and my shoulder blades pressed against the bed.

My core grew warmer by the second, and I squirmed just slightly beneath him, unable to get any kind of grip on my need for him. I was a willing victim to the way he worked at me, his lips moving to my rib cage and back up again to meet mine feverishly, as though he’d been teasing himself just as much.

There was no telling how experienced or not he’d been, the thought only briefly crossing my mind as he seemed to bring every ounce of ecstasy out of me with such ease. He almost seemed to know my body better than I did as his fingers found all the right places, his lips kissed all the right spots, assuring us both that I was warmed up beyond the point of simply being ready for what I so desired.  

I hoped he knew that he could have me forever and even longer after as my own hands began to glide down his sides, fingers rising and falling between the ridges of his own torso; the muscles that rippled and flexed beneath my touch growing warmer with each pass.

Finding the bottom half of his under armor, I tugged down on it intently. But getting him undressed seemed like an impossible feat for someone as fragile as myself in comparison.

It was no wonder these Spartans were so well protected.

But John took notice of this right away, his hand reaching down, brushing against mine to help me get him out of the final article that kept any barrier between us.

It was then that I pulled him down against me as much as I could with the height difference, the metal of the tags he wore around his neck now burning my skin in the most delightful way. I inhaled, his natural scent mixed with the soap he used filling my lungs. Concentrating on every sense I could, it was easy to get lost within him.

My lips pressed against the inside of his neck, the stubble of his jaw grazing my cheek as I kissed back along to his mouth. I could feel every single sensation infinitely, every single nerve ending inflamed with a sweet emblazonment I knew only he could offer me for the rest of my time in the universe.

The moment was so intense, so close to the final act of ultimate devotion.

Our problems, our achievements, our standings and otherwise, all fell away once more— even further into the abyss than they had when we’d danced. It was him and I all over again. Every thought was focused on John. Every feeling enveloped in him entirely.

And I didn’t want to close my eyes; to miss any of the reactions he could possibly have to me. But when he held me captive in the euphoria that was his kiss, there was no stopping the way my eyes fell shut.

And so my other senses kicked in, raising goosebumps along my silky skin as his warm tongue made passage into my mouth, grazing against mine in a heated contest of taste.

The heat that radiated in my center only spread; every small movement, every quiet groan between us, building me up further. My fingers drifted down John’s back gently before moving to take his hand. Once our fingers were intertwined, he pinned my palm back down against the comforter, squeezing it in a needy, but gentle way. I returned the energy, knowing exactly how he felt in the depths of my soul.

I lifted my hips to meet his, a soft buck of his own telling me he was just as ready. The friction was more than I could bear as I moaned against his mouth. His large frame shifted over me, repositioning himself as I opened my eyes again. I had to get another look at him. I had to commit him to memory in this moment, just as I hoped he would do with me as his eyes drifted back to mine.

No one had ever made me feel so combustible. No one had ever made me feel so delicate. John’s touch was like electricity, even the slightest brush sending me over the moon a million times as though it was a direct connection to my dopamine supply.

And then, after all of the anticipation, after the moment had been finessed to the point of no return…

I finally felt him…

as close to me as humanly possible, as bonded to each other as we might ever be in any way.

It was as though the entire universe had fallen apart just to accommodate us; the feeling of my life flashing before my eyes, but in the sweetest, most exhilarating way possible. I was inexplicably lost and found in the same second, a blissful reality I never wanted to leave.

My head spun as I felt John sink into me, evoking an immediate  exhale from the very depths of my lungs, followed by a moan I tried my best to suppress in the silence. The largeness of his length shouldn’t have been a surprise, but the feeling was delectably satisfying, impressive, as he pushed into my slick walls.

It was the groan that escaped him that rang in my ears like music— the most beautiful music I’d ever experienced. Never had I heard someone sound so laced with desire and yet, somehow, relief. As though this was the only thing that he’d ever really needed in his entire life, and now it was all his.

He pulled his hips back slowly, his jaw was tight as he hovered over me. His searching gaze never left my face, treating me as though I were the most important mission in the galaxy, something to be sure of; something he had to assure himself of; to know I was okay and taken care of above all else.

My mouth was slightly agape as I held his stare the best I could, my arms reaching to lock around the back of his neck. Pulling him down as close to me as possible, I never wanted to lose him. I would simply lose myself if I came close.

The thought would’ve scared me senseless in any other moment. But I was too far gone to think about how easy losing each other actually could be.

John sunk himself into me once more, deeper this time, with a bit more fervency. My body reacted before my mind could catch up, my back arching, chest lifting upwards. Another soft moan fell from my lips. If I could’ve been any closer to him, I would’ve been.

I needed John like I needed air.

“Oh, John…” I murmured against his open mouth as he leaned in to kiss me, my leg moving to hook around his.

He leaned up just a bit more to gain better purchase, beginning to thrust then. He was slow and calculated, his hand on my thigh to pull me closer as I held my leg around him. I bit into my own lower lip, tugging on it in another attempt at keeping quiet as he carried on. His stare burned right through me, intense and full of a love I’d never seen in anyone’s eyes before— no less staring back into mine.

My breathing seemed to escape me, his own chest beginning to heave. And every time he buried himself between my thighs, my heart felt as though it might stop. Needy fingertips found any flesh they could then, gripping onto him, nails running along his body as I became plagued with the urge to touch, to be touched; to encourage every movement he so beautifully made into me and against me.

The pleasure was so immense, the connection between us so extraordinary, that as we found ourselves irrevocably entangled within one another, my eyes seemed to grow wet on their own. There was no situation I’d ever been in before in my life that felt as striking and deep.. as perfect as this. I was awash with an emotion that, for once, even I wasn’t sure how to navigate.

John’s voice was a gentle growl in my ear as he leaned closer again, his pleasure deriving from me, all me, only me, as he bit into my neck. It was gentle, yet full of haste, my only response being a moan and a show of just what my nails could do to his solid back before wrapping around his broad shoulders.

Though the moment was full of sensuality, vulnerability and broken down walls, I’d never felt more safe.

My hips began to meet his, the blissful friction within my walls radiating wave after wave in all the right places. I was already hot to the touch with him, easily aroused and even easier to get to the finish line. No matter how badly I wanted the moment to last, it was impossible to keep the pleasure at bay. The way he picked up his movements just fractionally so, I got the sense that he was in the same situation.

The minutes felt like hours in the most sublime way as they passed by; as I fought to keep time stretched forever. But when John shifted, his taut member caressing already sensitive spots within me, I felt my control leave. My chest rose and fell, hands exploring his now hot flesh. His hand reached behind my head, and his fingers tangling in my hair with an instinctual ease that didn’t surprise me as he pulled at my roots lightly.

While I reacted to his pleasure, he reacted right back, acting accordingly to my every dead give away. My release was right around the corner, and as I felt the way he thrusted into me just a little harder; just a little quicker, I knew we were on the same track to beautiful oblivion.

His soft grunts mixed with my quiet moans, both of us becoming just a little louder, no matter how badly I wanted to cry out for him. My walls tightened around his throbbing shaft, my swollen bud spiking each time his hips rubbed against mine. The stars seemed to cast their shine a bit brighter over us as he held my gaze, his light eyes burning through me. There was a romance to the moment that I immediately knew I’d never have again.

Not with anyone else, anyway.

The inside of my thighs were coated with my arousal for him, his ease of gliding in and out sending me straight to the heavens. I finally cursed, gasping as I reached out for him again, taking what was mine and claiming it. There was nothing I ever wanted more than to feel every last inch of him, than to have his strong build smother me in the affection he so willingly offered with no sight of being released from it. And when I felt his body tense, his thrusts grow sloppier, more animalistic, carnal, I lost all control I had left just as he did.

When my name fell from his lips like a prayer, I’d never felt more idolized. I only hoped he felt the same as I returned the sentiment, his name leaving a sweet taste in my mouth each time I murmured it back to him.

My mind drew a blank as the knot in my stomach finally pulled free. There was nothing driving me any further other than John and the way he so spectacularly sent wave after wave of ecstasy coursing from my core outward, the sensation washing over every limb as goosebumps rose on my flesh and my breath left my lungs.

My walls drew him in with a euphoric ease, craving him all on my own, the wetness I’d already felt between us only growing as he continued to push through his climax. I rolled my hips beneath him, suddenly shifting into wanting nothing other than to satisfy him just as much as I was being satisfied, to heighten every sizzling nerve ending that connected within him.

His voice was a velvety rasp, his brow furrowing. His breath was hot against my skin as he leaned back down, his lips brushing against my own, suffocating me beautifully with the love we held so deeply and vulnerably for each other. His mouth moved downward, kissing and nipping at my jaw, my neck, as my frame moved with his.

I cursed happily, my voice a saccharine moan. Unable to catch my breath, my body trembled slightly beneath him as I felt another point of pressure building once more. I wondered just briefly if he could handle it to continue, but without much more time to think, I slid back into another peak, my back arching at the pleasurably painful overstimulation. Even if we’d truly been alone, the entire universe might’ve heard the way I wanted to scream, anyway.

My voice was louder this time, though probably still quite quiet in the grand scheme. His eyes met mine again, and I could see the satisfaction written all over his features as he absorbed every ounce of emotion and ecstasy I showed him— that he caused me.

While I wanted to grip onto the comforter, I couldn’t bear the idea of my hands leaving him. I couldn’t tolerate even thinking about being disconnected from his person. And as I rode out my second climax, my walls gripped his length relentlessly, no doubt over stimulating him right back. But he carried on, the look in his eye needing to satisfy me, needing to allow me any pleasure he could, deriving his own pleasure from it.

If I could collect a thought or two, I’d blame the stamina on being a Spartan.

The feeling was blissful as it sizzled into a slow burn, its radiant spread through my veins and under my skin retracting back to my entrance once more like molasses. I was still thoughtless, and John was still very much focused on the task at hand as he slowed to a stop. We were both breathless, entangled within one another as though parting might destroy us and all that we were.

He pulled himself from between my thighs carefully, almost reluctantly so. While the eye contact was still intense, there was something softer about it. Something warm, and sweet. It was as though we were both being dipped back into the world we were in, unhurriedly, deliciously, together. Something had changed, wonderfully so. Where I’d certainly felt like we were two halves of a whole, I now felt like there were no longer any halves at all.

We had simply meshed into one.

Thoughts began to ease their way back into my mind, though hazily so. And I could see the coherence return to him as he caught his breath— much easier than I. It was when a hint of a smirk touched his lips, that I felt myself smile in return.

I allowed my hands to drift from his jaw, down his biceps, dancing lazily over his muscles, absently in awe of what had just happened. I never wanted to move from the spot we were in. I wanted to relive it over and over until we were both spent— and then I wanted to relive it again.

After another beat, John scooped me up into his large arms, pulling me close with him as he laid on his side. We faced each other, his arm draped over me, both of us still coming down from the highs we stunningly inflicted on each other. The minutes felt timeless all over again as we savored what remained, not another word between us.

My eyes fluttered shut just briefly as his hand reached up to brush a few strands of -what I was sure to be matted, now- hair from my face. But as he began to smile, really smile, I felt my heart leap in a million different styles behind my rib cage.

I wasn’t sure I’d seen a full blown smile from him before. It was dazzling, completely infectious. It felt like a secret, or like some kind of hidden talent that the rest of the world was forbidden to see. I smiled in return, and he leaned in to kiss my forehead, the tenderness I was beginning to enjoy shining through.

“I’ll protect you with my life,” he murmured, his expression solemn again.

Be it that his life’s mission was to protect, to potentially die for his objective, or that the seriousness in his tone was unlike anything else I’d heard him say, that sentiment felt even heavier than the ‘I love you’ we shared before our rendezvous. I nodded ever so slightly, my hand reaching up to rest atop his as he held it on the side of my head. I squeezed his hand gently.

“I would die for you,” I expressed softly in return, my tone just as heavy, just as sincere.

And I meant it.

I really did.

-x-x-x-

Tags: @allthelovefromstylesxx, @grimistangel, @guiltgoldglory, @laurenstacy610​ 

thank you guys so much as always!! it means a lot that you look forward to my lil story! ♡

[loth-creatures]

Knowing how much Ahsoka struggled to be Sabine's master --- would she get advice from Kanan when she visits Lothal? Most likely giant wolf to giant wolf??

Wellll see I kinda ditched the entire Jedi!Sabine narrative. Listen if they HAD to go that direction, I believe they could have done it well but they really did not (to put it generously), and while I've considered trying to do it better myself, at the end of the day I wish they just hadn't done that at all.

Tldr: Ahsoka and Kanan probably will have a giant wolf to giant wolf conversation but idk if it'll be about looking out for Sabine or searching for Ezra or what

So this is my tentative and unrefined interpretation of Ahsoka and Sabine's relationship for SWW Ahsoka, aka roughly how I imagined it would be like before that damn show ever came out (sorry in advance this spiraled all over the place. I meant to elaborate a little bit and then I couldn't stop. I tried to keep it concise but. There's a lot to unpack that I didn't expect to have to unpack in order to get to the point lol)

First and foremost Sabine isn't fucking Force-sensitive. Ahsoka teaches her a lot about the Jedi, and continues her lightsaber training, and I think Jedi teachings and excercises can have a lot of value to ordinary people! But she's not trying to be a Jedi. Ahsoka does feel mentorly instincts towards Sabine, partly bc she knows what she's going through as a very young veteren and genocide survivor. Partly bc she does feel the need to pass her knowledge on to someone. Partly bc deep down Ahsoka is pretty damn lonely too, and Sabine is very family-shaped. And also because wolfwalkers stick together.

They call her Ahsoka's 'practice padawan' as a joke. Huyang is like. You really ought to find a Padawan one of these days. And Ahsoka's like. Why would I need a Padawan I have Sabine. And Huyang is like. Listen I'm very happy to have Sabine with us but you ought to get a real Padawan.

But how could Ahsoka ever take on a student while she's still wrangling with whether or not she wants to be a Jedi? Which, they never actually show her making a decision on that. Or rather there's really no transition between "I am no Jedi" and whatever she's got going on in the show which. Long story short, I hated it. Ass writing. In my personal opinion.

I think I’m just gonna lean into the idea that she feels like she can't truly be a Jedi whether she wants to or not bc she was trained to be a soldier instead, combined with the fear of Anakin's darkness manifesting in herself, distrust of his training, etc. Up until the point where she decides to put Anakin behind her for good and trust in her own experiences, during her WBW adventure (which goes way differently in my head but I will elaborate on that later. Maybe.) But for the purposes of this au, she doesn't even commit to being a Jedi again until dying for the 3rd(?) time and honestly maybe she still doesn't. Maybe it takes all the way to wet puppy Shin dropping in her lap that she sees her path as a Jedi path. Idk.

Ahsoka's arc is not an aspect of the story I expected to address in depth myself so idk how much I'm gonna get into it within the comic itself. It's hard to go over every issue bc lothwolfwalkers is just an anthology series adapting small chunks of the timeline that I find work well with the wolfwalking, and I'm trying not to make more work for myself than I have to, bc I already have plenty. Rewrite is maybe a strong word, when I'm just cherry picking what I liked from the ahsoka show and adjusting what I didn't like in a way that keeps the overall plot intact for simplicity sake. I will eventually write an official detailed ahsoka-from-my-head post, but the comics will just be little scenes based on that.

Anyway,

Regarding Sabine and Ahsoka's falling out. It doesn’t happen. In fact I think Ahsoka will take Sabine under her wing after the fall of Mandalore and they just immediately start looking for Ezra in the unknown regions, bc Sabine is like hey I have nothing left here can we go look for my brother now. They don't find anything. Eventually Ahsoka gets wrapped up in other business and Sabine ends up back on Lothal depressed as fuck (despite Kanan, Hera, and Zeb's best efforts to be there for her, infinitely more than what is depicted in the show) until Ahsoka finds the map and shows up for round 2. Or smth like that.

Side note: I am going to declare the Wrens MIA not dead. Because I hate hate hate that they were unceremoniously killed off screen and wasted the way they were. I guess I could just unkill them completely but well I am a sucker for that angst and something about the devastation of that reveal seared it so deep in my head that I can't imagine the story without it now (thanks for that Dave. Fuck you Dave.) So uh, they're trapped on Mandalore with those other survivors from Mando S3. After Sabine's already left for Peridea they manage to finally get off Mandalore due to S3 events and track down Hera and are like WHERE IS SABINE. Cue Clan Wren Ghost Crew team up to get their fucking kids back. Though everyone will probably make it back on their own before they figure out a way to hop galaxies.

[rweoutofthewoods]

hey,

just saw the ask about someone discussing ur characterisation of James in young blood and how they thought he wasn’t a ‘baddie’ and that he was ‘not cool’ (btw this isn’t like hate to the person who asked this or anything incase u reply to this publicly and they see this, ik they said they don’t mean it as hate, I’m just saying what I was thinking cause I think the difference is interesting I guess🫣 so all love!!! ANYWAYS.)

I just thought it was interesting cause I did not get that vibe at all from James in the story. What I got from it was that James was actually cool in juvie, in a lowkey probably a little shit, who is funny and annoyingly endearing kinda way. I also thought he was a ‘badass’ in his own kinda way. But I don’t rlly think ‘badass’ is the best way to describe him in this fic tho, i think it’s more he is very capable and able at holding his own but he’s not like some intimidating, cool and mysterious typical badass (I’ve written this word too many times I hate it now😔) like what I feel Regulus is more like. And I also did get the impression he was a ‘bad kid’ but in a more ‘ I was a good kid and I’m a good kid in my core but something shit happened to me so now I’m acting out and doing bad things cause I don’t know how to properly deal with what’s happened to me , people expect it of me and this is my coping mechanism plus the whole getting myself hurt makes me feel better in a way kinda way (that doesn’t make sense I don’t think BUT WE MOVE) and he doesn’t come across as supposed to have been some teen who was out here doing all this mega bad boy (ew I don’t like that phrase but I’m using it anyways) crimes, but more like enough to get u in juvie ones and be significantly concerning. I could ramble more cause that fat ass paragraph doesn’t even fully express what I got from the way u wrote James. But just overall I think it’s interesting how ppl can get different things out of the same piece of writing. Also sorry if what I interpreted it as, is not what you were looking for, it probs did come across the way u wanted I’m just shit at explaining well and concisely lol.

ALSO (sorry if u hate me for this 10k essay oopsies) the thing about u worrying that James seems OOC but saying he’s not, ur just portraying the effects of childhood. I PERSONALLY DID NOT READ IT AND THINK HE WAS OOC, PLEASE DO NOT STRESS ABOUT IT UR WRITING IS FABULOUS AND IM VERY MUCH GETTING WHAT UR PUTTING ACROSS. Like u can tell by the way James acts with his friends and his internal monologue that he would be what some people more typically see James as, but it’s his trauma which is preventing him from properly being so. Like it’s just this road block. AND EVEN IF HE DOES GET OOC ITS REALISTIC WHO CARES, ILL FIGHT ANYONE WHO DOES, ITS UR FIC(unless you care then I apologise queen) but it’s so realistic like I went through a rlly shitty thing in my early teenage years and personally I think I’m a completely different person cause of it, and it’s interesting to read the way James changes because of what happens to him. Personally, I rlly like the way u write James (omd especially in EOITV I just want to gush over that fic for a second, it’s chefs kiss I love it so much, thank you for creating it, your mind is a wonderful place) I like how he can be a bit more messy, it’s interesting (also that reminds me another reason why I don’t think he’s spineless in young blood, cause he had a go at Regulus when they were fighting and I was like YEAH I KNOW U CAN SAY UNFAIR THINGS BUT ALSO STANDING UP FOR URSELF AND ACTING OUT AND NOT BEING PERFECT YAY, cause sometimes I do see James written in situations like that where he just takes it (nothing wrong with that I just personally prefer where he can gives just as good as he gets sometimes!:)))).

I need to stfu this is way to long, I’m actually embarrassed and scared u think I’m like some obsessed weirdo, I’m not I promise, it’s just 2:30 am and the most common feedback I get on school essays is ‘stop the waffle’. So long ass pieces of writing tend to be a bit too familiar with me 😔

okay last bit I promise, but THE AMOUNT OF NEW FICS U HAVE AND THE RATE U BANG THEM OUT?!?!, whenever I come to your blog and see a post about a new fic, I’m like wow your insane but in the best way possible cause how is this possible?! How are you able to do this?! This is so impressive ?!😭 Cause ur fics r to such a good writing standard and each one is so unique and different to each other, I run around my room in excitement each time u post a new chapter.

I could go on but I won’t because the fear of appearing a tinsy bit insane is real and idk if this is overwhelming, but yeha sorry, my waffling tendencies can be my downfall 😭

but uhhhhh Yeha overall, your writing and ability to write is very impressive, bye 😗����

Hello!! I can’t answer you privately bc ur anon so I’ll start by saying: that ask? No lingering thoughts or feelings about it whatsoever and this reply is not even going to be about that, just what you’ve said. I can’t imagine how much time it took you to write all that because it takes me FOREVER to write replies to asks, so I appreciate your time and ofc have to write you a response because I’m honored <33

Just on the subject on Youngblood James. You put it perfectly and I think I said this in my end notes vaguely—childhood trauma changes EVERYTHING. Exactly as you said, I myself had a pretty shitty childhood and I think I’d be an entirely different person if I’d grown up differently. I got BPD out of it (😭) and Youngblood James got some pretty fucked up mental health and coping skills. And it was my hope that seeing James thru Reg’s POV and seeing his relationship with his friends etc. that you’d be able to see there’s still some of that James Potter we know and love, BUT part of James’ canon character (or fanon idk) is that he grew up comfortably, privileged, with two loving parents, getting whatever he wanted. We see it in canon with how cocky and in need of some humbling he was, and Youngblood James got way more than humbled, his life got blown to bits and while he was very, very, young. Before he even would have been Hogwarts age in canon. SO, I don’t think he’s OOC at all, I think he’s exactly who he’d be if those things happened to him. And I put a lot of thought into his character and his actions. So me fearing him seeming OOC is really just that I can put things out into the world but I never have any idea how it will be taken or if my intentions will be realized.

I didn’t intend for him to be badass at all because like… James’ crimes were all really in efforts to self-destruct. Him fighting people he did because he wanted to be hurt. Stealing a car? Well… we know by now how that ended. I also will note I didn’t intend reg to be badass either (tho maybe his character naturally is a little bit) because Youngblood isn’t about that, or how cool it is to commit crimes. it’s about how fucked up the system is, how childhood trauma lingers, how we need to do more to support and help kids in need instead of writing them off. So many kids act out or get in trouble because of much deeper reasons than them just wanting to cause trouble. And I say this as someone who was a kid who acted out, and who also recently as a more straight and narrow adult now, had their car fucking vandalized and literally SHOT AT by a bunch of kids. But I can look at those kids in real life, in my town, and I know the families they come from, I know there’s things going on behind closed doors. And yeah, was I pissed? Ofc, actually I was pretty devastated. I worked 7 days a week to buy that car and it was my first. there being reasons doesn’t make their actions okay, but I can also see that here in real life, children are being failed when they’ve barely had a chance at life yet. And Youngblood is really my attempt to humanize these issues and draw light to how we may be failing children. ANYWAY there was my long winded rant. I lost the plot a bit tbh but I could go on about Youngblood 😭

So in short, James in my opinion is not OOC, and ur right he is not weak either, because trauma and mental health issues doesn’t equate to weak. I think you exactly hit the nail on the head and it’s always appreciated when I feel like someone really gets my characters. My James is my James, and he’ll always be so special to me, every single version, because no matter what universe I throw him in, I always know exactly who he is and what makes him that way.

This is so long, I don’t really expect anyone to read this but you (hopefully), but this is just for you anyway <33 I appreciate all your kind words and interesting thoughts and I love how you said it’s interesting that ppl can read the same thing and get something different out of it. Because the amount of times I’ve written something and realized ppl got something entirely different than I’d expect honestly shocks me. And sometimes it’s sad if ppl miss my point, but mostly I think it’s beautiful that we can all interpret things differently.

Hope you have the best week and life is treating you warmly xx

[quinloki]

Sorry about jumbling the video game au thing lol

I’ve kinda narrowed some things down a smidge

• time is different for us/ goes faster for them

• we have a character that isn’t originally in one piece but we can play as.

•we can also play as most of the characters from one piece, not just ours

• when we log off our character sleeps, due to time difference it can be for long periods of time.

•if you play the game for awhile and never log off it will look like the character hasn’t slept for a concerning amount of time.

-💧

there’s probably more but I did write that around 2-3 am so I’m not surprised it doesn’t make sense 😃

Apologies for the confusion

Oh that's much more concise - thank you!

And no need to apologize for confusions, world building is often a messy process. You add, pull, tweak, adjust and fiddle with things until you get parameters you want to work with.

Or you let them sort out as you write the story and have the narrative build the world (which can backfire if you write yourself into a corner you can't get out of). Both are good, and both can be fun.

But this definitely tightens up the au and I like it. poor Marco being besides himself about your "sleeping" habits XD

[kellofbones]

hi! my name is Moss!

warning: I'm genuinely terrible at being concise

Ok I'm still basically not aware of how tumblr works but sometimes being direct is how to do shit so

I want friends! Or people to chat with

I'll have some interests in a list underneath but most of my interests will be listed in the tags

anyways here's a description of me:

Idk how to really describe myself, I'm just some guy who's interested in finding more friends. I like a range of things but I tend to be mostly into video games and YouTube stuff, atm some of my biggest interests are Sims (my monthly sims phase) and the Hermits (mcyt), specifically mostly Grian, GoodTimesWithScar, and Impulse. I'm also super into the life series, especially because Secret Life just started!! Been enjoying that a lot

I really love to write, and I like to draw, I just struggle to do both things because I go through a lot of creative blocks! (And I'm kinda bad at being creative lmfao)

In terms of video games some of my other big favorites are

- Phasmophobia

- Baldurs Gate 3

- Destiny 2

- Guild Wars 2

- Minecraft

- House Flipper

- Subnautica (both games)

- Cookie Run Kingdom

I also like anime! I haven't been super super active with watching lately, but my absolute all time favorite is Demon Slayer. I have been trying to get back into watching Soul Eater so I can finish it!

Some of my favorite bands/musicians are

- The Band Ghost (with the skeleton pope)

- Poets of the Fall (and by extension Old Gods of Asgard and Alan Wake)

- The Caretaker (I've not explored the whole discography, only the Everywhere at the End of Time stuff, but I plan to venture further out when I'm in the mood for new stuff!)

- One OK Rock

all my other music interests just kinda range based on completely random stuff so it's hard to specify artists in that way lol

I'm not super good at interacting with people, I take things literally sometimes, and I overthink things a lot when talking, so if I get a little awkward or say something strange, I'm sorry! I very rarely mean harm, I'm just trying to figure out how to speak like a person.

Idk what else to say really but I like finding people to talk to about my favorite things and I love finding people who are as passionate about things as I am! So if that's you and you're into some of the stuff listed above OR in the tags, let's be friends!

also here's my bg3 durge paladin she's so beautiful loml

[mojaves]

tagged by @bnbc @katsigian and @silverpixelcloud to do this THANK YOU!! <3 i love not shutting up

rules:

👻 post 5 facts about your oc

👻 go into the recent section of the #cyberpunk 2077 tag and rb some posts. and be nice. [i will do that when i am not afraid of people. dont worry about it. hold me at gun point if you must]

👻 tag people to keep the game going

who else would i talk about other than this fruit of a man.

1. he grew up as part of the valentinos, with his father taking him out on jobs at a very early age, which wasn't a very good idea - but he was the eldest child, and his father figured that getting him involved in gang business early would've been for the best. seb hated it, but was also thankful for it in a way, because it at least meant he could keep his younger siblings safe from as much harm as possible

2. he 'left' [see: got kicked out of] his family at 19, when he decided he didn't want to live the gang life forever, and wanted to work for a corp in order to get more money for his family. they [1000% just his father actually] shunned him pretty much immediately, and he was left to live alone on the streets for 2 years. he handled himself pretty well, using the skills he learned over the years to con people out of money and get by relatively unscathed.

3. i could go into sooo much more detail with all of that but then we'd all be here forever so basically; steals money from someone at arasaka, she is like whoa lol, gets him working at arasaka as an assistant, eventually becomes something of a bodyguard/intimidation device for people who worked there. they get married [not good], and then she cheats on him [with their boss [also not good]]

4. he understandably got angry bc of that, and when he threatened to quit, his boss beat the shit out of him and left him for dead in an alleyway, which is where his cyberjaw/neck cyberware comes from. the attack also left him with a prosthetic leg. if he was just some guy who left, none of that would've happened. but unfortunately he was a very important asset bc they were experimenting on him - drugs and other fun things that greatly improved his combat skills, and made him more useful. and if any of that info got out, everyone involved would've been greatly fucked over basically. and because they'd kind of fucked up by making him highly dangerous, the only option was to kill him. but that didn't go very well and now here we are 👍 i said i wasnt going to ramble but. anyway

5. and then from all of that, he slowly got back on his feet and became the leader of a small gang who mostly deals with fucking over corpos for people whos lives have been ruined by them - sometimes also helping corpos get revenge on each other, mostly bc it's always petty drama, it's funny, And they get a lot of money out of it. they also do security stuff on the side. because of their reputation amongst corpos, seb is often the target of assassination attempts, and always gets out of it unscathed. but he is currently being hunted down by a VERY stubborn merc who is the first guy in many years who has ever come close to killing him, so life is finally getting exciting for him again (^:< ehehehe

BONUS FACT HE HAS A CAT CALLED FRANKIE STROMBOLI

i. do not know when to shut up sorry <3 i need everyone to know everything about him. i do not know how to be concise. <3 not my problem now

ANYWAY i will tag uuhhhhhhhh. who has cyberpunk ocs. @aartyom @nuclearstorms get over here right now and yell about your guys. it said 5 people but i dont know 5 people. anyone who follows me and has cyberpunk ocs feel free to join in teehee. hii

[eddieydewr]

what im trying to say is that all of this probably affected his mental health. a week ago I saw his comment from 2020 on insta, where he said that he “never feels good enough” and his “self-esteem has been ripped to zero” because people said they missed “old Noah.” i wonder how he feels now. also all of the bullying he faced in college and middle school

also there was a vid of him that he deleted some time ago (also from 2020-2022) where it basically said “my sponsor watching me cry myself to sleep wondering which friends will post for me if i die” like??? crying and dying huh

im not even his fan or anything but. yk. also idk if it’s a right thing to talk abt but 🥲

ah, sorry for my tone. i thought you were being mean spirited about it, like “obviously noah needs therapy, he’s a genocidal pyschopath 🤪”

but yeah, it wouldn’t be surprising if noah is mentally or emotionally affected by this whole mess. it’s not even an online controversy now, a war in the middle east has seeped into the western consciousness, and while most of online gobshites are all mouth and no trousers, there are some people who would jump or verbally abuse noah because he is jewish. he’s bound to be on edge a lot, even if he ignores what people are saying about him online.

the comments you speak of, they’re from 2020? what did people mean by missing the old noah then? also, i think i remember that video. i thought it was a weird tiktok thing, no? and having a sponsor usually means you’re in recovery from drug or alcohol abuse… i have no idea if noah struggled with something like that or he was being goofy, as he once said (he’s always goofy online). but… it does sound concerning. and when you’re a teenager, especially during the pandemic, i can’t imagine it’s been easy. it’s not exactly unusual to have low self esteem at times. happens to the best of us.

sorry i’m waffling on and not being concise lol but if noah is struggling, like genuinely, then i am sure he has a therapist. his parents have the means and they love him. his friends too.

you say you’re not a fan but you sound like you care, maybe? there’s nothing wrong with being a fan anyway. and it’s ok to be concerned, especially after what you’ve seen.

[burninlovebutler]

Hi bestieeee I know I already requested one but I’m taking the chance to appeal to your angsty side with #6 from the drabble list (“Ah yes, betrayal.  I am familiar with that.”) 🥰😇

- sage 💚 (@sagesolsticewrites)

taking xmas themed drabble prompts -> ❄️

thank you sageykinz for exercising my writing skills!

this one also turned into a drObble bc idk how to write anything concisely lol so sorry if its longer than a drabble 😅

in the same vein this is a continuation from the other camp counselor themed drabble ~ we’re friends now, sorry, there's no escaping it

-

“Ah yes, betrayal. I am familiar with that.” though I changed it to -> "Ah yes betrayal, I know it well."

-

It had been a week since you and your irritating co-camp counselor, Austin, had become ‘friends’ over the art of popsicle-stick home building. And you found that once you stopped hating everything he did, the more tolerable he was and the better you worked together. It had been the best week all summer and whether you wanted to admit it or not, there were butterflies buzzing in your tummy whenever you both were alone. Like when the two of you were cleaning the camper cabins and he kept hitting you with pillows. You were almost grateful that he was defeating you because it hid the blush that nestled across your cheeks.

And then there was the night trip to the lake – the kids had long been asleep, and you sat on the edge of the water. Some of the time talking, laughing at whatever mischief the young campers had done that day. But then there was the glaring quiet of watching the moon reflect off the lake. The only noises that filled the quiet were the ripples of the water lapping against the edge and the dancing fireflies around the trees. It was in that silence that your fingertips had just barely threaded, and you swore your lungs had malfunctioned.

But he was still just your irritating co-counselor…right?

It didn’t matter anyway because tomorrow you’d be off to your separate cities, and you’d never have to see this absolute menace of a human ever again. Which was exactly what you’ve wanted all summer but if that’s truly what you wanted…why did it feel so somber now?

It was the traditional smores bonfire to send off the summer and you were sat next to the blonde. Your body was riddled with a plethora of feelings you didn’t understand – sadness, nerves, butterflies. You kept quiet in thought as you watched him roll a marshmallow-pierced branch over a roaring fire.

“Well, kinda sucks that we won’t be neighbors anymore.” He sighed joking about your glued together popsicle stick homes, “Bet you’re happy ‘bout that huh?” Pulling the mallow from the fire and taking some melting excess on his finger and took it into his mouth.

“Hm, I don’t know, you’ve been a pretty good neighbor so far.” You remembered that you’re supposed to be roasting your own marshmallow, so you lean your branch in.

“You know what? You’re right.” He proclaimed proudly, beginning to build his own sugary sandwich. “There have been no parties and most importantly, no kayaks.” Grinning wide.

The goddamn kayak incident

Any other day of that summer the memory your kayak being purposely tipped over would’ve made you furious all over again – but now it almost brought a nostalgia. Nostalgia over a memory that wasn’t even old enough to be nostalgia. In the reminiscence of the not-so-long-ago past, you forgot about your now blazing marshmallow.

“Shit.” You immediately pulled it from the fire, desperately fanning and blowing at it trying to put out the flame, which only earned unhelpful chuckles from Austin.

“See what the freakin’ kayak curse does! Look what ya did.” You smack the back of your hand against his arm then finally put out the fire but you were now left with a solid black marshmallow. “Well unfortunately, it looks like I am gonna have to evict ya.”

“What! Evict me!” His hand overly animated despite having a smore in his hand, “Over me and… and my perfectly made smore!”

“Okay.” You said simply and stealthily reach up to snatch the sandwich from his hand. As soon as you had secured the snack you took a healthy bite from it. “Evicted!”

“Ah yes, betrayal.” Austin just shook his head with a faux-defeated smile, “I know it well.”

[spookyserenades]

I’m not much of a commenter (which is super hypocritical since receiving comments is my kryptonite lol), but I just felt like I needed to. I cannot describe how much I enjoy your work; I’m absolutely floored by the sheer word counts you dash out so consistently. Nothing ever feels choppy, and the scenes flow nicely into each other! Your funny moments are funny, your sad ones are crushing, and everything else in between is iconic.

I guess I was wondering just how you manage to stay so consistent? I write chapters that usually range between 13-17k myself, but I can’t seem to stick with a consistent updating schedule. How often do you write? Do you sit down daily and write just a little, or do you sit down occasionally but manage a few k each time?

Also, I cannot stress this enough how natural everyone’s relationship in Trouvaille is. I feel like it’s realistic that none of the boys would be immediately too keen with the mc but that they also wouldn’t stay distant forever? It felt special being able to gradually read about their developments, and I feel like once the mc gets with more of the boys eventually, it’ll be so rewarding? Idk, but I just cannot wait. The latest chapter ending scene with Jin has me so on edge; I can sense the angst from here—

Regardless, (and sorry for my rambling) I love your work!

—M

Hellooo love! I'm so happy to hear from you, thank you fro reading Trouvaille and sending me some love, I'm glad to have you here 🥺💕

Thank you for your sincere compliments, too 😭❤️ I haven't had someone mention the length of the chapters in a while-- they're big bois!! The last two chapters have been a bit shorter, but sometimes you say all that you need to without necessarily hitting the original wc estimate. I'm so happy to hear that the flow is smooth, and that you're enjoying the humorous moments (loveeee sneaking in things my mom have said before, her one-liners kill!) and I'm eeeeee you're too sweet thank you thank you 😭💕

As for consistency! I love this question, because I might have pulled the wool over your eyes. I started writing Trouvaille summer of 2022, and wrote up to Chapter 6 before I ever began posting on Tumblr. Between July 2022 - July 2023 I had chapters on "reserve" so really I'd just edit them before posting them.... Now, not so much the case. I write each chapter (since 8) each month, which admittedly can be a bit stressful, but it honestly forces me to write consistently and constantly. I think that can be a potentially good thing for writers who struggle to actually put pen to paper, having a "deadline" monthly, but every writer is different!

Additionally, I'm not the best person to ask about writing schedules,,, unfortunately I am a procrastinator so OFTEN I binge-write for hours on end. I recommend setting aside an hour or two a day to write if time allows you to do so, rather than type nonstop for 8 hours the day before an update LMAO!! I definitely want to become the writer that does bit by bit every day to cut down on the stress. I also want to say that once I stopped pressuring myself to make EVERY update 20k+words, things flowed a little more easily. It's better to have a shorter update that's concise and has everything you want to say, rather than bulking it up with filler.

Thank you so so much for loving all of the character's relationships so far, too 🥺 I know slow burn isn't for everyone, but it always felt more natural for me to write the hybrids as slow-to-trust, considering the world they live in in Trouvaille. I agree with you, when everyone starts to grow closer and closer over time, the sweet moments will seem even sweeter after all of the angst and growing 💕

Thank you again for reading, M, and I'm sending you so much love (and energy to keep on writing!!)

[silversiren1101]

10, 11, and 15 for Mino!

10. Thoughts on Queen Galfrey?

Answered here!

11. Thoughts on tentacles?

Answered here!

15. Your OC’s backstory?

Alright I am going to try and keep this concise...uuuuu maybe. I can't, sorry lol.

4609

Minovae Arangeir was created by the Colorless Lord, the Lord of Paradoxes themselves, Ssila'meshnik. Why? Even the old protean cannot remember why entirely, just that they immediately grew board with this ganzi and dumped her... somewhere in the Material Plane as an infant, and only remembered she existed when she grew interested (mythic power). It was most likely something to do with the paradox of creating a lawfully-inclined protean spawn.

She was found in Westcrown and raised in the orphanage there in 4609, where she was raised... unkindly. Despite always trying her best and having a good sense of rules, anything she did she was punished thrice as harshly for compared to the same mistake and messups of the other kids in the orphanage, simply because she was a ganzi. Desperate to fit in and make friends, somewhere around 10 years old all the kids ran out for the day, and when they came back, she lied and said it was entirely her idea.

That was the first time her tail was cut off as punishment. The matrons did everything they could to try and make her 'normal', to be enticeable for adoption. Her tail heals fast and grew back, which they didn't know would happen (neither did she). Unfortunately the scales peeled off her limbs and feathers torn out so many times scarred over pretty bad, and for most of her childhood->young adult life she did not have her beautiful scales or plumage.

4625

Unable to bear the treatment anymore, she runs away from the orphanage. As she was taught how to sing and dance and play instruments (to make her an enticing child to adopt), she learned she had the potential to be a bard due to the latent magical energy in her as being a ganzi.

She traveled around on the streets, singing and performing for her supper and meagre pocket change.

An adventuring group notices her and invites her to join them, where she first forays into combat and becoming a true adventurer.

All the while, the Chelish Civil War has been raging around her life. She sees the destruction and total chaos happening and it makes her sick to her stomach. As an adventurer she wants to help people that cannot help themselves, and solve the problems that are slipping through the cracks as all the soldiers and Hellknights are too busy to do anything about them.

4630

Her adventuring party is ambushed by a large pack of ghouls in the middle of the night at their camp, pretty close to Citadel Rivad. Rather than fighting them off, her party members leave her beyond to die, to slow the ghouls down, going so far as to slicing one of her heels so she can't run.

Ironically enough, she is the only survivor.

Horribly wounded and riddled with ghoul fever, she dragged herself through the night to Citadel Rivad, where ultimately she pledged herself to the Orders as an armiger. Her whole life has been a mess. She needs direction. She wants to help people. She wants to make the madness of this war and all this fighting end. She wants to fight for those that cannot.

I have even written a little in-universe report for it!

4630 - 4640

Surprising no one, the armiger unit she joins is the one Regill is in, as a young unbleached gnome armiger. He is still quite unemotive and disinterested in things, but just a little bit... brighter. Not as cold.

He is the only one that survives the Trial to become a full Hellknight in his group, and ends up being leader of the unit formed from some other Hellknights and the other armigers who were too new to test (Mino + a dozen more). During the events of the war, she ends up in a solo-fight against a bone devil that Regill witnesses, and declares it a sufficient trial and keeps her conscious long enough for help to arrive. [This is another major scene I can't wait to write: "Do you want to die an armiger? Or live to be a knight, Arangeir? You better hold on."]

She is healed with an overpowered Restoration magic by their paralictor which heals the scarring on her scales and feathers. Waking up three days later to find her feathers have started to regrow after 20 years... It's... terrifying for her at first, because they've been used to hurt her so much. She comes to live with them and then love them.

Mino and Regill fight side by side for 10 HELLISH years of civil war, nearly coming to a fight to the death when the Orders largely endorse House Thrune and she wants to follow the Thorn and Pyre and turn against them. He's the only one that is able to keep her in the Scourge (and from an early death).

Despite the horrors of the war, these are the best years of her life. She is accepted as a dutiful knight, not looked down on for her feathers and scales and tail. People respect her. She's found a family in the Hellknight Orders. She finally feels like she's on the right path and knows what to do with her life.

4640-4644

Mino lives these few years as a Scourgeknight investigator, specializing in hunting down corruption in the aristocracy and rooting out cults.

She adopts a few orphans as Foundlings in the Order, to stay and be cared for at Citadel Demain.

Regill is her closest friend and she realizes she loves him, but says nothing. She knows he will never feel the same way.

4644

Minovae's foundlings go missing. She tracks them down frantically for days until she finds them... mostly dead, used as sacrifices by a diabolic cult led by a younger Thrune. One of them is still alive, Finley, but so far gone and in so much pain she mercifully ends his suffering. What happens next is a maddened slaughter of several dozen aristocrats including a Thrune.

The Thrunes cannot execute her because doing so would shine a spotlight on the crimes committed by the slain one she killed. Instead, the Order of the Glyph reveals themselves and forces her into a powerful Dark Geas ritual powered by the archfiend Geryon: if she doesn't comply they will kill not just her but everyone in the Scourge that works closely with her. She agrees to go through with it, needless to say. The ritual makes it so that if she speaks aloud of what she saw or reveals the existence of the false Hellknight Order of the Glyph, she will explode and kill everyone around her that possibly heard. If anyone pries into those sealed memories, the same will happen.

Wracked by despair of losing her 'kids' and constant fear of what will happen should someone pry into what she saw, she transfers to the Order of the Pyre and leaves to the Worldwound. The last she does that night before she leaves is tell Regill she's sorry, she wishes she could tell him. He believes it's because of him (he knows she loves him even if she hasn't said anything) and apologizes too, says he's known but can't be what she wants him to be. She laughs (for probably the last time) and shakes her head, but asks him if she can "do one selfish thing before I go?" and kisses him on the brow and tells him not to change.

4645

In the Worldwound, Minovae is a dutiful if cold and depressive figure in the Order of the Pyre. Her sunny disposition is completely gone, but she is a GOOD Hellknight and leader. Aminos Renth is her direct superior and they build a good working relationship. He is curious about why she came out all this way but refrains from asking. He sees her as a potential successor.

During the attack that leads to the fall of the Hellknight Outpost, Minovae is kicked off the battlements by an undercover Glyph Knight who sends Thrunes' regards. She survives the fall with a broken spine, but is dragged off by demons to be tortured as their plaything for weeks.

Areelu finds her in their dungeons and sees she still has a spark of defiance in her eyes although her body is totally broken.

The rest is pretty much the game - she is experimented on, the soul is implanted in her, she is kept in stasis before being carried in on a stretcher into Kenebras in 4715AR

I'm sorry she has such an elaborate backstory but how else was I going to justify cold and severe Regill possibly loving someone like her without 80 years of history to back it up

Questions here!

[wicked-jade]

hi amanda! i wanted to get your advice on something. currently i'm working on a fic and i dunno if i'm just frustrated trying to find the right words, experiencing mild writer's block, or what, but i'm feeling really inadquate as a writer right now. i feel like my writing doesn't sound mature enough and that it wouldn't be considered good or even decent by anyone in the fandom. i love what i've read on ao3 and everyone in this community is so talented; i want to be as good of a writer as them. but i just don't feel like i have the artistry and magical way with words that so many of y'all seem to have. am i just having a bad writing day, or am i actually maybe not a great writer yet? if you have any tips, please let me know. thanks and take care <333

Hi there, anon! I'm sorry you're struggling with your writing right now. If it helps you to know at all, I've definitely been there, many, many times. I think we all have; feelings of inadequacy and writing just go hand in hand. There isn't a day that goes by where I don't second guess myself and doubt my writing in one way or another.

Being in the CK fandom can be a blessing and a curse, at times. Because we're lucky enough to be part of a community that's full of extremely talented writers and artists. I'm seriously in awe of some of the works that have been produced over the years, and humbled to share that same space.

But while sometimes that can be inspiring, seeing that level of talent on display can also be intimidating. More than once I've read a brilliant, thought-provoking story on ao3, then turned around and looked at my own WIPs and wondered why I was even bothering. There's always someone who makes a better analogy, or expresses a thought more clearly and concisely, or writes a funny bit of dialogue I wish I'd written, and then I start to get down on myself. And it's a terrible, discouraging feeling.

It's times like that when I have to take a step back and remind myself that even the best writers have their insecurities. Everyone feels this way, at one point or another. But the important thing is to just keep writing. Because while it's great to have writers you look up to and works you aspire to, in the long run, comparing yourself constantly to others will only get you down.

The beautiful thing about writing is that every writer has their own, unique voice. And the only way to develop that voice is through practice. And there is nothing magical about it, lol. Occasionally, a line will pop into my head like it was delivered straight from the heavens. But most of the time, it's a tedious slog, hours spent tinkering and tetris-ing the words into the right order. Trust me, if you ever saw how many times I've rewritten the same sentence, the process would probably seem less magical and more insane. 😂

All that to say: greatness is subjective. And entirely overrated as a concept. So is 'maturity,' whatever that means. How many 'classic' or 'best-selling' novels have you read that everyone else raved about, but you thought was crap? I'm betting there's a bunch. Lord knows I've read plenty of 'great' works, and just didn't get what the big fuss was about.

Wanting to improve and grow as a writer is a good thing. As is having goals to strive for. But if everyone waited until they considered themselves 'great' to share their work, I figure hardly anything would ever get published.

So try not to worry so much about being a 'great' writer, or what the fandom will think, and just write for yourself. Write what interests you, what entertains you, what moves you and makes you feel something. Have fun with it, and don't put so much pressure on yourself. Just keep writing and practicing and honing your craft.

And when you are having a bad day, know that it's okay to take a break. Take a step back, watch a movie, go for a walk, play around with another story, go do something completely unrelated. Maybe you'll find inspiration in something else. Or maybe you won't, but either way, when you come back to what you were working on, you'll have fresh eyes and a new perspective.

As far as more practical writing tips go, I would say the thing that helps me the most, when it comes to the flow of my words, is to read them aloud. This especially helps when it comes to writing dialogue or banter. I have a background in music, so I tend to take more a lyrical approach to writing; the words have a groove. Sometimes a sentence will sound right in my head, but when I read it aloud during editing, I'll realize it feels stilted or unnatural. The rhythm is off. Then I'll tweak a word here and there, read it again, and see if it improved the cadence of that passage.

This...ended up being way longer than I anticipated. (But what's new about that? 😂) Anyway, I hope all this rambling has helped in some way, anon, and that you're able to get past your writer's block soon!

To badly paraphrase Mr. Miyagi, trust that your writing roots are strong, and don't be afraid to choose your own way to grow. I know I'm looking forward to all the stories you have to tell! 💖💖💖