#sorry for the venty post
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emraev1212 · 11 months ago
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Okay so, I relate a lot to Astarion, specifically with how he acts and how his trauma has formed him.
And like, I’m just kinda sad that I rarely find any fics that I can relate to.
There’s just some things that (in my opinion) people overlook when writing Astarion and characters like him.
Like his trust issues. I feel like it’s always acknowledged because everyone knows he has them, but no one ever shows what that feels like. When it’s just acknowledged and then he immediately starts trusting someone to show I don’t know, how special Tav is or something, or how great their bond is, it always feels so unearned. Because that isn’t true healing. That isn’t the point. You don’t just start trusting someone because you care about them. That fear of vulnerability is a personal demon that can’t just be loved away. No healing has been done. Like he didn’t not trust you before because you were untrustworthy, he didn’t trust you because he doesn’t trust anyone.
I’ve touched on it a bit before in tags, but another thing that I’ve noticed is that… no one really gives Astarion any agency. People do this in a lot of ways, but the one that bothers me the most is when people turn him into this scared little thing. Like yeah he is, but that fear is what is driving him to do all these things. I think a lot of people think of fear as curl up and cry, which, yeah that’s me too, but Astarion’s fear drives him forward. It’s why the first thing he does is try to seduce you to get an advantage. He’s always doing something, always trying his best to survive. Because that’s what kept him avoiding pain, being proactive, always thinking, always doing, always having a plan. If he stopped for even a moment, horrible things would happen to him. And that energy just doesn’t show up in a lot of fics.
I just really hate this idea that you can fix all his problems just by being kind. It’ll be a big help, yeah! But that’s not actually doing the healing. By being kind to him, you’re giving him a safe space to start working on healing.
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Me: hey sis, I'm sick
Sis: omg I will help you. Whatever you need, just let me know.
Me: Cool, can you get some toilet paper, and chicken noodle soup, maybe some waffles too.
Sis: UGHHHHH Why are you asking me to do things?!
Me: ...you said anything I nee-
Sis: FINE!!! (buys chicken rice soup, which is too herbal and makes me vomit... and takes a shower for the second day in a row knowing I've been throwing up and having explosive diarrhea all day... also buys me valentines day chocolate I can't eat and covid tests that have to be mailed into the lab instead of the fast home tests)
Me: ......bro. Pleas.
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fissile-materialism · 2 months ago
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Robot that was defective from the factory but you still love them despite the fact that they can't function nearly as well as every other robot and needed a lot of repairs to even get to this point and that sometimes they can barely move away from her charger but you still love it. Despite the logical choice being to get rid of it and being fully free to do so you still love her.
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emaiiyaru · 1 year ago
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scribbles
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wheatcak3 · 6 days ago
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uwu wip of bardven kissing because i fear I may never finish it 😞💖
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lightly-toastedd · 2 years ago
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found out we share a birthday so i felt legally obligated to draw him
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vv-ispy · 7 months ago
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Venti Week Day 1: Old Friends // Memories
What if Venti could see glimpses into the future even before he became the anemo archon
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riskyalt · 5 months ago
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It's strange to feel this empty sometimes.
To turn off my phone and stare at the ceiling as it approaches two in the morning, and feel nothing if not the dread building in my stomach. There's only one lingering thought that fills my nights when there's nothing to distract me, and it's the genocide occuring in my country perpetrated by Russia.
I have to lie here, in bed, attempt to get sleep as I fear the news of a bomb strike occuring near my grandfather's home, who is nearing 76 and lives on the sixth floor. Ever day, I have to revisit photos of my childhood home and pray it stays intact till the end of the week.
It's painful, to feel sick to my stomach as I hear of strikes in the area my aunt and my 7 year old cousin live. It's hard to remember to breathe when my grandmother's audio call cuts off as she has to go into a shelter.
My family lives there. People I've called friends, places I've called home, a country I've always called my own.
It's difficult, after seeing people on the internet being so ignorant about the constant threat and erasure my people are facing, to wake up another day and pretend nothing's changed.
I myself currently don't live in Ukraine anymore, but that doesn't mean I connect with my own people any less. I live in so much anxiety and fear from abroad - can you even imagine what it's like living in the strike range right now?
I cannot see how it computes to see the purposeful bombing of a children's hospital full of cancer patients and still call Ukrainians 'deserving' or 'Nazis'. In what fucking universe is it okay to see the POWs liberated from literal torture camps in such dire condition their limbs are found rotting, and still call Ukraine the aggressor.
In what crooked, twisted dystopia is it okay to downplay what happened to Mariupol in some shitty twitter meme to get likes.
In what generation do I live where my people's pain is met with stone cold apathy and ignorance.
Why must we suffer for things we didn't do, why must we fight without necessary arms, why must we not be allowed to fire beyond Ukraine's borders in answering strikes on military bases?
Why must Ukraine continue to suffer at Russia's hand? ---------------
-Ohmatdyt Foundation Donation Link -National Museum of the Holodomor Genocide -War Stories from Ukraine -Hospitallers Medical Battalion -Translated Electronic Books -Kyiv Region Museum of War Memory -Mariupol Before and After War (subtitled) -Kyiv Independent (articles & news) -United 24 (twitter account, news)
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dixidin · 1 month ago
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Genshin textposts becau HOLY SHIT IS THAT A TRUK
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octaviusing · 1 month ago
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Mini Hiatus (again sorry lol)
Hey yall! this next week is a really Hard Anniversary of mine and is super important to me so I might not be available until after the 4th of DEC,
ill still try post some things but I'm just taking time to focus on myself and my Family ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ
Have a WIP as penance
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dukeofthomas · 4 months ago
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I'm so mad that so far the only good robin!jason content i've ever found is his original run. Everything i've seen since has just been making him out to be the Angry Bad Problem Child and victim blaming him for dying. How is it that the only fucking good characterization of him is 20 issues from the 1980s
#my dc posting#jason todd#dc#jaybin#robin jason todd#i love jaybin so much but by god there is no fucking content#ppl are just obsessed w making him out to be Bad and Angry to make him becoming red hood make more sense in their heads#look thats what he was always going to be. that what he was always on the track for. look at how angry and unstable he was#SHUT UPPP#from comics anything told to me abt his time as robin after his death means nothing to me#everyone has a different version of canon in their mind and mine will never include a single bit of info abt jaybin said after his death#i have the most horrible brainrotting ''he would not fucking say that'' abt jaybin. nobody gets him like i dooo#<- said as someone who has been angry and problematic and difficult since a young age bc of trauma and mental illness and shit#AND JASON WASNT EVEN HALF AS BAD AS ME#im gonna go reread his og robin run. my safe space#sorry im being soooo annoying abt jaybin rn i just. i love him#i feel like most people only see jaybin as the precursor to red hood#jaybin is only worth something as the backstory of red hood#which like. its fine to like the red hood version of him most#but i like jaybin :( he's my robin. like if there's a robin in a story i'd want it to be jason#so many fics would be sooo good to me if they did not unnecessarily have jason arguing with bruce abt the no-kill thing while STILL ROBIN??#like what are we doing thereeee#ok sorry im done being annoying and venty and whiny now
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arsenicflame · 27 days ago
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why is it so easy to show my friends so much grace i can never show myself? a friend doesnt respond to me for a week, a month, longer, and it doesnt bother me, because i know theyll get to me when its in their bandwidth, i trust and love my friends and want them to do whats best for them! but when i stare at my dms and replies and think of about 3 words to say before blanking.... no... i am a bad friend and everyone is judging me and getting annoyed. i could respond if i really tried, couldnt i?
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kanonavi · 9 days ago
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2024 XVX Fic Recs!
Hi everyone, I hope you're having a lovely and restful holiday season! Last year around this time, I posted 10* xvx recommendations, and since I haven't gotten tired of this lovely ship, or meticulously tracking all of the fics I read in a year, I'm back for year 2!
As with any rec list, please keep an eye on the ratings and tags of any given fic. My tastes might not be to your tastes, and that's okay, just make sure to take care of yourselves first and foremost. This especially applies now because there will be a couple of explicit fics that I shout out this year. Now, here's 10** fics that I read this year that I think other fans of xvx would enjoy!
*Plus a few extras ;)
**With the return of a few extras, since I like y'all so much ;))
~
Lighthouse, by HuaFeiHua (@hua-fei-hua) [Ongoing, Teen, 20.3k, 5/15 chapters]
When one of Xiao’s endless battles against the remnants of old gods leads to the slaughter of an innocent child, the guilty adeptus knows he must pay penance for his crimes. However, upon meeting with his Lord, ready and willing to be executed, Rex Lapis refuses to terminate their contract before its due time. Instead, he sends the yaksha to the Land of Dreams, where he is to spend a human lifetime hunting nightmares to atone. Xiao expects it to be lonesome work, but then: enter Venti, a bard from Mondstadt whose dreams of a castle with a lighthouse by the sea somehow draw Xiao back to him time and time again. And while Xiao means only to spend the century executing his duty, Venti somehow manages to make their time spent together into something almost like a sweet dream. Now if only Xiao would let him.
HuaFeiHua is our first returning author from last year’s list, but now that they’ve not only emerged from the Anonymous collection but also started posting their love letter to xiaoven, I couldn’t not include it here. If there’s any fic that knows how to do atmosphere, it’s this one. The liminal unreality of dreams is captured immaculately in this fic, and it makes the perfect setting for Venti and Xiao to dance around their emotions and each other like the avoidant disasters that they are. It manages to read exactly like the fairy tales that it was inspired by while also feeling right at home in the centuries that exist before Genshin canon, and for someone like me who loves canon setting fics, that’s more than I could have ever asked for.
Now, I was going to make a joke about nepotism but then Hua told me that the correct term is– *checks smudged writing on my palm* “cronyism”, so actually I give up.
~
Extra Rec: While Hua has many fantastic fics that you can now find easily in one place after their liberation from the Anonymous collection, I want to specifically shout out the absolute full course meal of a smut fic that they posted for their de-anoning debut. Do mind the Explicit Rating, though.
~
Catching Air, by Sub_Reality (Twitter: @/sub_reality__) [Ongoing, Teen, 164k, 13/21 chapters]
“Your assignment,” Ningguang said, “Is to assist the Ordo Favonius of Mondstadt in dismantling a newly-surfaced criminal organisation that goes by the name of the ‘Abyssi Familia’.” Exactly one week into their new positions, the 115th generation of the Liyue Qixing’s secret elite forces are given their first assignment; to take down a major criminal syndicate that is surfacing in their neighbouring nation of Mondstadt. Consisting of 5 of the most dangerous personnel across databases continent-wide, their assignment will conclude when all five of their targets are arrested, subdued, or dead. However, of the five is an enigmatic mercenary by the name of Arsenic - holding claim to the highest current kill count, and without a single failed hit. They are notorious for their weaponization of toxins, their mysterious escapes from assassinations, and for their distinguishing feature of not having a single shred of information or data regarding them. Something which, the Ordo Favonius emphasises, is highly concerning. With the arcane nature of Arsenic and the Abyssi Familia, one could say the Yakshas have quite the unpredictable mission ahead of them.
If you’ve ever wanted to be blown away by worldbuilding in a fic, this is one to read. With an incredible eye for detail, the author has reconstructed Teyvat in a far-off cyberpunk future that offers just as much fast-paced secret agent action as it does cultural details of the futuristic Mondstadt that the story inhabits. In terms of xiaoven, the burn is slow with this one, but Xiao and his fellow Yakshas (reimagined with their own mortal identities and personalities) have more than managed to carry the story so far. The mystery just hit a big reveal in recent chapters, so if there’s any time to start reading this one, it would be now!
~
the memory department, by twomooncorner (@earlgreyhui) [General Audiences, 3k, One-Shot, Archive-Locked]
The site of the memory debris takes a bus ride and a half to get to, past a billboard with flapping holes torn through, an abandoned gas station, and a sign for an old water park standing on only two rusted legs. The mountains reach halfway around, and the lakebed which might have started as a meteorite crater and then filled with water and then went back to being a crater again is shiny and hard. Venti hops off the bus and opens a can of soda with his teeth. Let’s get to work, he says.
I told myself I was only going to include one of the fics from Moonlight Melody, but I just couldn’t resist this one. I love the concept of the afterlife as a deeply dull bureaucracy, so seeing Venti and Xiao working as reapers at the very bottom of the ladder was incredibly interesting. But then that premise was executed with some absolutely stunning prose that stole my breath away. This fic has an alluring quality that draws you in until you’re lost in the moment it encompasses just as deeply as the characters are. I’d linger for thousands of words more if I could.
~
If Any Lesser, I, by twodimensionaltrash (Bluesky: @/novelelitist.bsky.social) [General Audiences, 3k, One-Shot]
'A mighty paw swipes at him. He twists his upper body to evade and stumbles back. The demon’s leg passes through the spear like it’s nothing. Like he’s nothing. He hates it. Claws and fists. Teeth and nails. They push and pull, hunter and prey, switching roles on instinct. Andrius puts Xiao on his back foot. Xiao chases Andrius to the edge of cliffs. The laughter of children echoes in Xiao’s head, accompanied by the songs of a bard. Beneath the lowest notes there’s the roar of flames, the flicker of a candle before life burns out, and in the center of it, him. In the midst of a nightmare, Xiao is pulled into Venti's dreams.
The first thing that drew me to this fic was the characterization, which was both intimate and irreverent in a way that felt super refreshing to my thoroughly xiaoven-enchanted brain. Then it follows up with a super interesting discussion of karmic debt and erosion that puts a spin on the game’s portrayals of the phenomena and yet feels right at home in the setting all the same. This was my favorite fic from the Moonlight Melody anthology, and I’m just glad it got crossposted so I can sing its praises in this list!
~
collateral damage, by connections [Teen, 1.8k, One-Shot]
Another bite. Almonds carry only the smallest hint of bitterness with them that reminds him all the same of who he is, and of what he has done, and of how much it hurts. Another bite. He’s pretty sure he deserves this. Violence is the only language he has ever known.
This fic is more a Xiao character study with a dash of xiaoven for flavor, but I still wanted to include it as an example of finely-aged xiaoven vintage. Xiao’s desperation to be loved by Venti but also by Morax is palpable, an ever-tragic contrast against the weight of his karmic debts and the blood on his hands. It was a pleasant surprise to see the gentleness that this author gave to Xiao, especially with all the edge that the game characterized him with at the time. That gentleness has been important to me ever since I fell down the xiaoven rabbit hole, so there’s something nice about seeing it in a fic posted before I would have even known his name.
~
now i see (holding you close), by esperra [Explicit, 5.8k, One-Shot]
“Did that feel good?” Venti asks gently. He cups Xiao’s cheek; Xiao leans into the touch almost on instinct. “I don’t… I’ve never done this before,” Xiao says. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.” “Whatever feels good, my love. That’s all that matters.”
As I’ve noted a couple times in the past in tag games and the like, xiaoven is actually pretty different from my previous shipping pedigree, and nothing reminds me of that more than the fact that a lot of xiaoven smut just isn’t to my personal tastes. This fic, however, managed to break that streak! If you’re looking for something steamy, this fic probably won’t do it for you, but if you enjoy the way that the relationships between characters can be explored through sexual intimacy, this is definitely one to read. I just think it’s sweet when two characters who love each other have sex that’s very deeply Okay and only love each other more for it.
~
carry my fears as the heavens set fire, by yanrans (Twitter: @/yanrans) [Teen, 25.6k, One-Shot]
“Dear Yaksha, do you remember me?” The boy wraps his hands around Xiao’s; even through his gloves, he can feel heat, thick and heady, sink deep into his skin. The fire licks his bones, clawing secrets in the cracks in its surface. Xiao knows better than to let himself burn, knows that Liyue is worth more than his scorched ashes, but this is a dream. This is a dream, so there are no battles to fight, no duties to follow. The boy can strike a match on Xiao’s skin, and Xiao can watch as all his armor dissolves in smoke. The boy tugs, and Xiao comes unmoored. In which Xiao and Venti meet in a series of dreams. Sort of.
There’s something quintessentially xiaoven about this fic that I could taste only a few thousand words in. This fic has it all, from Xiao’s desire to do good battling with his fear of hurting everything he touches, to Venti’s gentle insistence on working his way into Xiao’s good graces with his indomitable charm, all with a splash of corruption angst for a bit of extra spice. If you’re looking for canonverse fics, this definitely deserves to go on your list.
~
to be unbroken and brave again, by magicites (Bluesky: @/ellsyx.bsky.social) [Complete, Teen, 36.4k, 3/3 chapters]
“What could I possibly have to forgive you for?” Venti asks. What could Xiao say? There are so many answers. For trying to grant him freedom and only giving him the same power that’s doomed to tear him apart. For hearing that Morax died so long after he did. For starving for his touch so selfishly. For letting him be lonely. There’s so much; they tangle in his throat. “For making you wait,” he settles on. “Ehe, I'll forgive you, but only if you play a duet with me tomorrow." He has work to do, but— “Yes.” - How the duty-chained Anemo Archon and the Trickster Yaksha found freedom.
When it comes to a prompt as classic as a roleswap, it’s the details that really make a story, and this fic absolutely has it made. As the second returning author from last year, I’ve made it clear that I adore magicites’ work, but the way that she broke down Xiao and Venti’s characters and reconstructed them as a plausible Anemo Archon and Yaksha blew my mind as I was reading this fic. It’s the friction that arises from their roles that makes xiaoven a compelling ship: Venti as the Anemo Archon went out of his way to free not only his people but also himself from the chains of rulership that constrained them before, while Xiao as a Yaksha is bound to Liyue by his contract despite the freedom that he craves. For those roles to then be switched while having the conflicts that bind the characters remain is a truly impressive feat that makes this story totally worth the read.
~
A Surefire Guide to Wingmanning, by corviidae (@corviidaees) [Complete, Teen, 19.1k, 2/2 chapters]
Illuminated by the glow of gold-scorched parchment, the harsh lines of Xiao’s face smoothen into confusion, then resignation. He takes a steadying breath. “You aren’t leaving.” “I’m bound to you until I find you love,” Venti corrects. ���Yeah, so you aren’t leaving.” “Wrong! I have a hot streak of success.” Venti claps his hands, the contract scrolling back up into non-existence. “Now that you understand, shall we start over? My name’s Venti, and I’m your assigned Cupid. Your wingman, if you will.” “... Xiao.” Or: Xiao is, maybe, a little in love with his Cupid. Venti does not catch on.
I first read this fic back in 2021 and had one particular line from it permanently branded into my memory (that you’re gonna have to read it to hear!), so I was delighted to find that it still holds up beautifully. This fic lives up to its “Sitcom” tag, because it managed to pull smiles and laughs out of me left and right as Venti tries (emphasis on tries) to find Xiao the perfect partner. It’s an incredibly sweet, comfy read, and I think that’s what we all need in our lives sometimes.
~
if these wings could fly, by MaximillianDelirium (@delirious-dove) [Complete, Teen, 145.7k, 35/35 chapters]
To Xiao, Barbatos was the embodiment of everything he was not: happy, free, fully confident in who he was. His music made the shadows in Xiao’s head retreat. They were all about living life to the fullest, having hope when the world was turned against you, and having fun (something that was almost entirely foreign to Xiao). And now he was going to have to give away all his albums, delete Barbatos’ songs off his phone, and never listen to his music again. Just looking at the albums lined up on the shelf made Xiao cringe. He’d thought that if he ever did get a chance to meet his idol, it would be in a controlled space. He would have said something normal, like, Your music means a lot to me. Then he would’ve shaken Barbatos’ hand, gotten an autograph, and lived out the rest of his life in peace. Xiao’s idol had watched him punch a guy in the stomach. Since Zhongli's early retirement, Xiao's life has been aimless. But a chance encounter sets him on a new and uncharted path.
It only took another year, but in the end I managed to complete the trifecta of xiaoven idol aus. This is one of those fics where you can blink and suddenly five chapters have gone by, because it’s just that engrossing. It has all of the drama and intrigue that one would expect from a celebrity au while still maintaining the typical, down-to-earth chemistry that draws Xiao and Venti together. You know a story is good when it has me pulling out the popcorn for miscommunication plotlines instead of closing the tab, and it’s not only xiaoven, but the entirety of the well-loved ensemble cast that come together to make this the enthralling story that it is.
~
Extra Recs: Not only does this fic have a beautiful epilogue where xiaoven get the happily ever after that they deserve, but there’s also an entire series that features several of the side pairings from this fic’s universe, which are also worth checking out!
~
That's a wrap on another year! If you got this far, thank you so much, and I hope I've given you some new fics for your to-read list! This year, I feel like I did a lot more reading back compared to the year before. Some of these fics I only read because they were recommended to me by fellow fans, which I appreciate so much, but it could also mean that there are fewer hidden gems this year than the last, so I hope you can forgive me.
I'm looking forward to what next year will bring, and hopefully I'll be back with even more fics to share! Happy holidays to all, and much love <3
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bigboobyhalo · 8 months ago
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god I wish I could just shut my brain off and keep watching bad’s streams like so many people seem to be able to but now that some of the eggs are back it’s so difficult for me not to get miserable about dapper and pomme’s absence. I hate this. I hate this so much
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fettiowi · 1 month ago
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I gotta get out of tumblr before i start calling myself a failure of a human being on main
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serenadeofsunshine · 1 month ago
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cannot believe today was such a great day until the last minute THEYRE OUT TO GET ME. I SWEAR. whatever. i’m going to draw. watch the moose for me Make sure he gets into no hijinks
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