#sorry for the tmi lol

[hvly]

whyyyy do i keep waking up with bubble guts 😔

[scienceoftheidiot]

Déjà en partant, jamais j'aurais pensé que Gilles Vigneault serait connu en France (ça me fait plaisir bien sûr!), mais en plus, parmi toutes ses chansons, pourquoi est-ce que tes parents aiment tant "Mon pays... c'est l'hiver"? Vous habitez pas dans le sud de la France???

Hahaha je me suis rappelée de lui au dernier moment en plus ! En fait je pense que c'est qu'ils trouvent cette chanson très belle, c'est tout, sans forcément chercher à s'identifier (bon ma mère est de haute Ardèche, et si c'est rien à coté du Québec, l'hiver - et l'été, je me souvient m'être pris de la neige en juillet sans parler du brouillard des enfers - est assez rude là bas, mais je pense vraiment pas qu'elle fasse le lien).

J'imagine qu'ils doivent en connaitre d'autres mais moi c'est surtout celle là. Après j'ai aucune idée de si il est si connu que ça ici, parce que mes parents (et moi) sont chelous, plutôt contre culture que culture populaire (genre j'ai jamais écouté Goldman, mes parents détestent, et j'ai fini par m'y faire parce que mon mari a grandi dedans mais j'y arrive pas ouf, à part une ou deux je me fais chier - par contre il a souvent des instrumentations très bonnes et du coup ça me soule encore plus lol). Quand j'étais gamine je baignais dans un mélange de classique et de trads de n'importe où, souvent contestataire même si on parlait pas la langue (Pete Seeger, Woodie Guthrie, des groupes de musique chilienne là j'ai que Inti Illimani en tête mais y'en avait d'autres, beaucoup de musique tsigane, sans parler de l'irlandais et l'écossais qui sont ce qui est le plus resté, un mélange des enfers).

En fait Gilles Vigneault c'est plutôt "normal" par rapport au reste, c'est en français, déjà, et musicalement assez classique XD te dire de où ça sort j'en ai AUCUNE idée ils sont jamais sortis d'Europe. Mais tout ce qui est un peu traditionnel québécois, acadien ou même cajun c'est quelque chose qu'ils adorent ^^

[kittytheroseofkirea]

Uno reverse :D

🐸 Describe your aesthetic. 🌸 Best compliment you ever received? 🙃 What’s a weird fact that you know? 🦉 Are you a morning person or a night owl? 🦋 Describe yourself in three words. 🔮 What’s your dream job? 💌 Do you talk to yourself? 💞 @ your favorite blog. (Or just say what it is if you dont wanna tag them)

oh dear, here we go XD

🐸I always kind of view myself as a contradiction? I really like fantasy aesthetics. But I also kind of like goth (maybe not goth exactly, but dark clothes and jewelry). But also cute dresses/skirts and sunhats and things. What do I actually do? jeans and tshirts. idk what my aesthetic is 😅 🌸 i don't really know? People often tell me that I'm sweet. Someone else told me they liked my writing style back in high school. I'm not very good at receiving compliments lol 🙃Most cultures/religions have similar types of stories. There are always tricksters, creation type stories, and disaster stories. A lot of cultures have the same type of disaster, just for a different reason (most memorable to me is a great flood story). Cautionary tales can be similar (I've seen a couple instances of the singing bone) 🦉Morning person by necessity. If I could do whatever I want, I would stay awake really late and be up late in the day. 🦋uncertain, kind, tired (lol) 🔮tbh I haven't thought about this much in a very long time. I mostly really like my current job. If I could be paid to read (but not necessarily edit) or write or draw, that might be cool. Not sure how I feel about turning my hobbies into something I have to do though. Baking, but I hate the hours that would require lol. Maybe if I could be paid to learn, I would be a professional student. Not good at research, but I would go to classes and learn all sorts of things. That could be fun. This answer is officially way too long, moving on <3 💌 Oh yes. All the time. Mostly in my head, unless I'm driving by myself. occasionally when I'm working on something, I will also then talk out loud. But that isn't on purpose, the talking out loud 💞 oh no, favorites lol. I am so bad at favorites, they are all my favorites for different reasons. Lets say I haven't been on tumblr for a while and don't want to scroll through everything. the blogs I check first are: the moots I have ongoing conversations with (you know who you are), fangirltothefullest, fangirlwriting-stories, delimeful, dillydallydove, i-will-physically-fight-you, haysgrove, and a-small-batch-of-dragons. in no particular order. I have a hard time with favorites, and yes most of those are fandom blogs lol

I am a contradiction in a box who can't make up my mind about anything ever. Sorry if that is way too much information lol

thank you for the ask, love!! <3

[devotion-disorder]

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/3dFHa31qxQ8?feature=share

10/10 would smash Yuri buuuuut this vid lived rent free in my head, I don't wanna skip to my next life just yet-

no because i can vouch that she is 100% correct. of course everyone's built different but i have almost the exact same opinions as her...they dont call it rearranging your guts for no reason yall.

BUT you can also make a lot work with a bit of time and patience :D and when you're sequestered in the deepest part of the woods, trapped in a village that most people that don't even know exists, there is definitely more than plenty of time :) though Yuri also tends to be impatient, so......................... good luck? ^^;

[mirensiart]

tmi and also uh health conditions I guess?

this is the second month in a row that I get TWO periods in one month

Like in two months I’ve had my period FOUR TIMES?!

no wonder I’ve been feeling like absolute ass, I thought it was like a weird irregularity last month, but now it’s happened AGAIN

like I get my period, one week goes by, then I get my period AGAIN

listen….i do not have the time nor the money for health problems rn why is this happening now 🫠🫠🫠

idk if I should wait if it happens next month too or immediately go to a doctor now, my periods have always been very regular, so this is uh new to me

[helenofblackthorns]

city of heavenly fire is the tsc book if you think about it like it's so good. ended tmi with such a bang that it evaluated the series to new heights. wrapped up a six book series while setting up the next one, and on top of that incorporated the prequel and managed to do all three well. literally so many iconic and funny moments come from this book. also ended on a really hopeful note with the found family reuniting and being together after everything like 10/10. truly the cornerstone of this fandom.

[prettyboykatsuki]

do any other youngest siblings (particularly if you have like. a large age gap with your siblings) feel kind of detached from your immediate family because you were simply not included or treated like you were Apart of it.

[blqckthorne]

ok i want to talk a little bit about Cassandra Clare and the use of incest as a plot device because i always see stuff, mostly on tik tok, talking about how CC keeps continuously writing incest into her stories and about how weird it is. but the thing is, she only ever writes it to depict how thoroughly the adults in these kids lives abuse and manipulate their kids. 

like in tmi with jace, sebastian, and valentine: valentine told jace that him and clary were siblings because valentine saw that for once in jaces life, jace might choose someone over him. so he lied and said jace has demon blood and was clary’s brother so that jace would think that he was dirty and vile and disgusting and wrong. that clary was good and pure and angelic and jace was evil and demonic, because how could he be anything else when he was in love with his sister, so he might as well join up with valentine. with sebastian, sebastian was so desperate for his fathers love and approval that even after valentine died, he wanted his love so he tried so hard to be like jace. he thought that loving clary would be the thing to fix him, because it was the thing that “fixed” jace. and jace had their fathers love. so did sebastian really have feelings for clary? probably not. but he couldn’t see any other difference between him and jace and how they were brought up other than jaces love for clary, so why wouldn’t he try loving clary too?

in tlh with grace, jesse, and tatiana: tatiana only ever viewed grace as a possession not a daughter, shown through the fact that she continuously used grace to further her own agenda and disregarded any and everything grace ever really cared about, including graces familial relationship with jesse. tatiana was willing to marry grace off to jesse the moment it suited her, regardless of the fact that grace always viewed both tatiana and jesse as family. because tatiana never viewed grace as family. grace was only every a possession, and tatiana bought and used her like one.

none of these depictions of incest are actually romantic. CC is not saying “oh haha brother/sister relationships so sexy” she’s using it to show just how terrible and fucked up these parents are that they would use their children and make them feel like shit in this way. she uses it to show abuse and manipulation and evilness, not to promote sibling fucking.

[bookishjules]

I’m actually really curious about the critical things of Clary & Simon!!! 👀

i would like to preface this by saying i adore both clary and simon, and their friendship itself is so special to me. what really gets me is the idea of them becoming parabatai..

i have a lot to cite here (i've been thinking about this for almost a decade atp) so bear with me lol

even though the two of them were best friends since childhood, the ever-present crush/pining/unrequited love on simon's side kind of skewed the relationship in a way that results in what we see in cob and coa with how clary takes simon for granted and brushes him off while simon keeps showing up, keeps craving her attention. this kind of dysfunction is a large part of what causes the strain in jace and alec's relationship, and yes they were able to work past the distance between them, but that sort of strain occured once they were already parabatai. if cob/coa clary and simon decided to become parabatai.. i genuinely don't think it would have worked.

once their relationship starts building as clary remembers to value simon and simon gets over his romantic feelings.. it's incredible. there's this equilibrium they're able to hit. but the thing is about this time, is that they've also both already started relying on other partners, in a way that i think is sooo healthy for clary and simon considering how their relationship began. it's important for them to have other important people in their lives. but because of that we also see a shift in need.. if that makes sense. i think a good representation of this is in cols when jace is lost to sebastian. simon going to clary and sleeping beside her is a fall back into old habits of comfort and stability, but that's just the thing.. they're old habits, outgrown, not a representation of their current relationship. simon is there beside clary for one reason: because jace isn't. jace is clay's priority. and not only that, but we see in this same chunk of the book jordan telling izzy that simon shouldn't be prioritizing clary over isabelle in these moments. and he's not wrong. izzy needed simon, and her showing him that is the beginning of simon then consciously making her his own priority.

and that's good and fine and i'm not saying that clary or simon value each other any less because of these relationships, but rather that their roles in each other's lives have shifted just slightly out of the reach of a parabatai-type bond. they can still be best friends without having to be parabatai. this one is so important to me. simon and clary have been such important figures in each other's lives, but not every best friendship should necessitate a parabatai ceremony. the nature of parabatai is not to validate friendship or to reach the maximum friendship level, but to strengthen a bond that is already there for the sake--if we're being technical--of battle. best friends can be best friends. and simon and clary are great best friends. they learned how to overcome what caused tension in their relationship and in doing so both gained a certain level of independence and their own individual support systems that, yes, include, but do not rely on one another.

now here's where we get into the george of it all.. when simon returned from his six months as a born again mundane, he knew nobody. an absolute blank slate. and while he did spend that first summer dipping his toes into a his old life, the shadowhunter academy is where he really found simon, you know? he kept up correspondences with clary, yes, but i don't think two summers and a bunch of letters from someone telling you they're your best friend until you believe it could bring them to the level they would have needed to be to become parabatai, especially not when you have george as a comparison, who not only didn't know simon as he was before, and therefore maintained no prescriptive expectations for his behavior, but was there to champion him in becoming his own version of simon the entire way, without simon ever feeling like he had to hide anything or be anyone else. and despite clary's efforts, it did take much longer for simon to be fully honest and vulnerable around her, simply because of the nature of the situation. so even if the two of them did have the kind of relationship that would lend itself to a parabatai ceremony before the memory loss, they still wouldn't have it at the point by which simon would be having to choose who his parabatai is. and not only that, but, unlike george, clary hadn't been training with simon, which is a hugeeee part of becoming parabatai. as a pair of shadowhunters, parabatai have to know how to fight in tandem, and clary and simon are simply not given the chance to get to that level or to prove that they can before becoming parabatai.

while i did say i've been chewing on these thoughts since the fiery trial came out, we have had books come out since, which have allowed us to get an actual picture of what clary and simon would be like as parabatai and it really hasn't done much to improve my stance on this. there's this one scene in lbotw that captures the issue perfectly for me. it's the one where simon has his breakdown in that church and the one to go comfort him is isabelle, not clary. clary just looks on with concern, either not sure what to do or how to handle the situation, or knowing that who he needs most in that moment is isabelle. which really should be case and point right there. because if this were jem and will? no way would tessa have stepped between that. and i'm not saying simon couldn't need izzy, but rather that placing clary as an onlooker in this situation exemplifies exactly what their relationship is (as described in the cols section above) and how it doesn't fit the picture of what parabatai should be to each other. there's a lack of connection there, a lack of need and priority, that is not inherently bad, but does look bleak when you paint a parabatai symbol over it.

[purgaytorysupremacy]

oh nuts. a life experience has given me a new layer of perspective on Cas's homosexual declaration of love to Dean.

recently I had occasion to tell a person I had feelings for them knowing full well they didn't feel even a twinge of the same thing for me. while the whole thing was a decidedly unpleasant experience, I kept laughing at myself internally bc I didn't want to say "the happiness is just in saying it" like fucking Castiel over here. (we don't need to talk about it, it's fine.) (I am happier having said it and it's kind of bullshit, but I digress.)

because the thing is, the happiness isn't in just saying it, right? the happiness is in the having. I made a whole TikTok "proving" that the Empty didn't come for Cas when he confessed his love, but rather when he realized Dean loved him back. even for Cas, the happiness was in the having, not in the saying, however brief it was.

and I've always been one of those people who rolled their eyes at the whole concept. why would the happiness be in just being, in just saying it, if it's right there in front of you to have. and then it hit me like a tonne of bricks (as I was washing my kitchen counters).

Cas really didn't think he could have Dean.

at all. in any capacity. he really, truly, and honestly felt to the depths of himself that Dean did not have any twinge of similar feelings, that this really was a Hail Mary shot-in-the-dark. and I think me, personally, really didn't understand that about Cas. that his belief in his love being unrequited was that unshakable.

something else I've been pondering is how audiences have so much more empathy for fictional characters who share traits that IRL they find objectionable and unappealing. but the thing is about fictional characters is that we follow them around in their most private, vulnerable moments. we see Dean mourning Cas when he dies, literally killing himself because he can't live without him, but it's so easy to forget that we're the omniscient ones here.

Cas never knew.

Dean's whole thing was pushing him away, keeping him at arm's length, making it seem like whatever heroic thing he does for Cas he'd do for anyone. he downplays how important it is for Dean to share the Deancave with him, to show him his favourite movies, share his favourite songs. he acts like the things Cas does for him don't mean that much to hide how much they do mean. he uses "we" whenever he even gets in the vicinity of expressing a feeling. "We were worried." "We're glad you're back." "We needed a win." "You're our brother." The audience knew the difference. We saw how he'd clench his jaw or swallow hard or make a face that said "God, I'm being such an idiot". Because we saw him in those little moments. We got to see the cracks in the mask.

but Cas never knew.

the self-hating angel of Thursday was never going to think it was all a way for Dean to protect himself. obviously, that's the delicious tragedy of it all, but what I think I realized at the end of all that is Cas confessing his love to a Dean who didn't love him back wouldn't have worked. Because the happiness really is in the having. If happiness was just in saying it, then The Empty would have come before Cas even finished getting the words out of his mouth.

so Cas's plan wouldn't have worked if Dean didn't love him back.

this is just me yapping on about my own nonsense, but I do think it's really interesting. there's contentment in "just saying it". there's freedom and relief and an unburdening. I think one can argue that it makes being happy in the being easier. there is certainly some joy in telling a person you think that highly of them. but true happiness?

nah.

true happiness is always going to only be in the having. Cas didn't understand the difference until he experienced it, and by then, it was too late.

[thepromiscuousfinger]

I hate having a meh nut before bed, waking up needing to do it again, and the morning one turning out to be the one my body puts all the effort and relaxing chemicals into.

Like thanks buddy but we gotta go to work now.

Yeah...my hubby says that's becoming more common for him. So he'll go days without busting and the one time we have time to have sex, he'll unwillingly nut quickly.

And then 5min later I'll hear "oh no. That just took the edge off" and then it's round 2 and the next day I'm waddling into work like a penguin with a peg leg.

[luminique]

watanabe indulges in your singing. he doesn’t try to play the guitar in front of everyone but when it’s just the two of you, he’d do anything to hear your voice.

his fingers strumming the guitar and humming along to you. he’s fixated with the way you look when you sing, your little hand movements and habits that make it easier for you to sing.

he turns red when you suddenly prompt him to sing, he doesn’t want to look like a fool in front of you. but he gives in and sings one of the few love songs he knows, hoping it conveys his feelings for you.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

when I want to write something self indulgent to give me all the angsty and cuddly hurt/comfort feels but I can't because I end up feeling guilty because I'm seeking after feels that I feel in an inappropriate place because my mom told me one time when I was 15 that I shouldn't search that out or it's probably sexual sin but it confuses me because ALL the feels happen that way for me even if it's entirely platonic and nonsexual and so I don't know if it's okay to want to write to that because apparently all pleasure of any sort, even over platonic stories, is sexual or comes with a possibly probably sexual feeling and I also am having a hard time figuring out what's genuine conviction from God and what's just my anxiety/OCD/perfectionism/fear of failure

[garvalhaminho]

and you should speak on izzy and jace being similar because i’m surprised they weren’t as close when they both are literally the same person

i didn't write my thoughts down when i thought this months ago so this was a struggle to put together but here they are !!

jace and isabelle both have the same attitude towards the world, and they undergo a similar arc.

when we meet jace, he doesn't have an identity of his own. he created an "unbothered" persona, very sarcastic, very rebellious, and very contrasting to how you'd imagine someone who grew up like him would act. he made himself his father's son (or, more so, was forced to become that), but he quickly loses that when michael wayland, his adoptive parents' friend, wasn't his father, but valentine, the genocidal cult-leader, and he is shunned for that. the world reminds him his father wasn't who he told jace he was, he is reminded his father was a psychopathic monster and he will grow up to become exactly like him. (he later meets sebastian. sebastian who was raised by the exact same person as jace, and turned to be just like their father.) later he falls for a girl, someone new, someone who has a different perspective on life, someone interesting and lovely, someone who he discovers, too late, is apparently his sister. but who falls in love with their own sister? a monster, obviously. the theory of him having demon blood only asserted that. as the story goes, jace is forced to destroy his own personality, his own identity, forced to mold and remold himself, specifically to fit what people think of his father(s). he doesn't belong here. why should he try?

the easiest way to see how this is represented throughout the series is through his name. jonathan christopher, then jace, a wayland, then a morgenstern, then a herondale, but the happiest part of his life (aka least traumatising environment) was spent as a lightwood.

isabelle lightwood too has an "unbothered" persona, when, in reality, she is none of that, and has never been. isabelle's environment growing up was nothing short of chaos, and she knew that was something she couldn't control. so, like any human being, she tries to control it anyway. she is 15yo and a known "serial-dater", purposefully. her parents are quite conservative, that will keep their attention on her and not her brother, alec, who is not straight and doesn't feel safe enough to explore his own identity. so isabelle doesn't explore her own identity. sure, she learns to enjoy this part of her life, but it didn't start out as that, did it? and her parents were always on the verge of a divorce, something she couldn't control either, but she can pretend. she tries with how her parents act, towards each other, towards alec, towards jace, towards max, towards isabelle herself. and, like jace, she was also trained to fight. she was given her first weapon and the tender age of ten. she was forced to look at the world with the eyes of a predator and a hunter of evil, like all other shadowhunter children. she was taught to police. she even attempts to control her own feelings. the people she dates, she can't let them get too close to her, lest she grow fond of them, as they will be gone from her life soon, she will make them. but she ends up falling for someone anyway, the first time she lets herself do so. but that person lost his memories, he won't remember isabelle, and how he was her first true love. she can't love anyone properly, can she?

and jace can't love anyone properly, can he? was he even taught to? was isabelle even taught to?

(this is relating to my post, if anyone is wondering)

[millipedegf]

being on all these meds post surgery is really fucking up my stomach 🚬

[loderlied]

me: haha my ocs reflect some parts/fears/feelings/etc etc of mine but nothing too obvious

also me the past few days: i think that i might be actively rotting alive