#sorry for the sad-posting

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

Not in transition anymore exactly, not a detransitioner, but a secret third thing: I got what I needed from this process and now I don't care anymore.

First I identified as a binary trans man, then was forced to detransition and live as a cis woman. Then I was forced back out of the closet and initially tried to live as a man again before finally (correctly) understanding myself as non-binary. Then I fought the system REAL hard to get access to the physical transition I needed so that I could, y'know, continue living.

And then I got that access and my chains were cut, and I was free, free! from the crushing dysphoria.

And then I realized that on the other side of that, that I had no language to talk about my experiences, because that was at the height of the "if-you're-at-all-male-even-a-little- then-you've-never-experienced-misogyny-or-tbh-transphobia-and-should-just-stop-talking-about-your-experiences" phase of trans community. How could I even begin to articulate and talk about my experiences in order to heal from trauma and repair my relationship to the community, when I was told over and over again that I didn't understand my own traumatic experiences? This, despite the fact that people trying to overwrite my experiences and reality were part of that trauma?

So I just... stopped. I stopped participating in trans community. I stopped being vocal about my trans identity. And I started slowly but surely shifting back into a feminine presentation, which no longer triggered dysphoria because of the physical changes.

And as the years roll on, I find myself having not fundamentally changed, but simply having moved on. I moved on from the boy I could've been, and now the dye is cast and I can't feel anything. I can't connect to that maleness with any urgency except once in a blue moon, nor does being genderqueer bring me joy. But I'm not a woman. I'm a vaguely femme-shaped person with enough of the external features of a woman that I can get by. But I'm a woman in the way that a hare is a rabbit or a hyrax a rodent.

And I'm out of energy, or words, to explain it anymore. Most days.

Fuck the pronouns; I don't give a damn.

[camilleflyingrotten]

[astrangeavenue]

drew some totally normal sadnesses

blank bg and individuals below the cut

edit: i posted some of my thoughts that went into these designs! if youd like to read you can find it in the reblogs

[kidovna]

manifested mileven at the snowball in 2016, so now I’m manifesting byler at senior prom🪻🌻

[porrigens]

pegoryu valentine :3

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Look what we've become.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[verflares]

who's afraid of the big bad wolf?

[wigglebox]

Destiel Pride - Day 11; Truth

[mingyusbinch]

REST IN PEACE, DEAR MOONBIN (1998-2023)

[starscream-is-my-wife]

Sometimes a day makes you want a Starscream to bite and squeeze

[the-phantom-peach]

Meeting the Light Dragon ✨🐉

[tagged as spoilers!]

[polararts]

He won an award. Good job you little snot. /affectionate

[just-null]

Do you ever do requests? If so, do you ever plan on drawing some Yandere with the Hantengu clones? :D hope you have a good day/night!!!

Mentioning an unfamiliar name

yes!! I love yanderes.. and these guys.. these guys are such good material...... nods nods..

I'm not sure about requests..I assume you mean drawing requests? I suppose if it REALLY catches my interest enough, I'd do it, but it'd probably just be line art/sketches.

[boopicide]

i don't wanna die, i just wanna never have existed in the first place.

[14dayswithyou]

💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖

For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!

The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^

What's been added to the 3.5 version?

📺 Streamer Mode!

I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.

Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh

This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!

⚙️ Custom Pronouns!

It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;

Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!

💗 Choose how others perceive you!

You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.

For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!

📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!

You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3

Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!

I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;

I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao

📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!

You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!

Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!

I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;

It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)

🖤 Additional Scenes Update!

Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!

If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.

After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga

🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!

I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!

I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.

Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.

How to download and play the update?

(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!

Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)

Enjoy!!

[heartorbit]

lets run to a new world together! ✨