#sorry for the messiness im struggling to get used to new laptop

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

future scene in space au,, Eclipse kills a man by hitting him with another man, bc his comfort tiny has been Hurt and this has triggered the Murder Instinct only well-designed murderbots can achieve <3

[brelione]

Love and Hate (The Best Boys)

dude come on. you said you’d upload the next chapter on christmas and now it’s been a whole week after and it’s still not out. :(, hi! when are you posting the next chapter of tbb??, tbb????, Are you posting the next chapter of best boys soon? I miss her, when will you be posting the next part of the best boys series??, Ok I’m over TBB I’m just gonna say she ends up with Blah Blah and they live happily ever after, the end. Thank you for the amazing read, it has been fun❤️, TBB is literally the last series I have to finish before I can finally peace out of the shithole that is the OBX fandom for good but like no rush or anything baby❤️,When do you think you’ll be posting the last chapters of TBB?, Hey queen how’s the writing for best boys going, 

Series Masterlist

SHES HEREEEE

Yes, im aware this chapter is all over the place. I went through writing four different versions of this chapter and this is the one that I decided to go with. I know that this one is kind of a little ahfioshviowenvionae but it all comes together next chapter (I already started writing the next chapter). Im so sorry that this is so late. I’ve been having issues for a little bit. My grandfather and my dog passed away and I recently had a relapse and I think that’s why it was taking me so long. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter <3

Warnings:Nothing really, swearing and unedited. Also im sorry if you dont like this chapter but like....yeah.

You were awoken to the sounds of screaming.Topper ended up at the foot of the bed, Kelce still clinging onto you.Rafe was absent from his spot but the mattress was still warm and had a slight dent which let you know that he hadnt been gone long.

You had spent most of the night trying to find the perfect spot on the mattress, one arm thrown over kelce and your heel against the back of Toppers thigh.It seemed like it hadnt been a super long time since the sun had risen which meant that it was probably around seven in the morning by now.

Your heart was thumping in your chest, trying to pay attention to what the voices were shouting.Something about a mess and irresponsibility but you couldnt hear much besides that.Rafe stomped up the stairs, opening his door.He was shirtless, face red from yelling and his eyes slightly watery.You sat up, making Kelce grumble.

 Rafe’s jaw was slightly dropped, his nose beginning to run and his body trembling.“Hey, what happened?”You asked, gaining Kelce’s attention.Topper’s eyes opened slightly, looking over at Rafe.The tall boy didnt say anything, he just dragged his feet across the room and sat back on the bed, mumbling.You were hesitant to grip his hand, squeezing lightly.

He just stared at a wrinkle in the blanket but the sound of something breaking downstairs told you that it had been more than just bickering.Kelce was worried, knowing that his parents had gotten home late last night and would see the mess he had created. “He doesnt want me living here anymore.”Rafe spoke up, a few tears rolling down his cheeks.

You pulled him closer to you, arms around his shoulders as he sobbed, your fingers rubbing against the back of his neck.He squeezed you tightly when he head footsteps coming up the stairs, silently praying to any god that would listen that it wouldnt be Ward.Kelce’s phone kept buzzing but he ignored it, knowing exactly what it was.

He knew that it was coming and he would be lying if he said that he didnt expect it, nervous the whole night as he waited for his phone to blow up.“What are you gonna do?”Topper asked.As much as you wanted to scold him for asking that when Rafe clearly didnt want to talk about it it was still something that you had also been wondering.

Rafe didnt answer, taking in a deep, shaky breath that hurt his ribs before picking up his head and looking over to his friend. “I dont know.”He admitted.His voice hurt your heart, the realisation kicking in that there wasnt really many places that he could go.

Kelce’s phone buzzed again, all of your eyes falling on him.He sighed, glancing at his screen.He had missed calls from his parents, dozens of text in all caps telling him to come home immediately. “They found the door.”He replied, keeping his voice calm.A new wave of silence washed over the room, not knowing what to say to that.

Your eyes watered as you remembered how simple life was a few weeks ago, all of you eating breakfast, watching criminal minds and laughing as Topper recorded it all on his snapchat.Now everything was completely falling apart.You didnt say anything, trying to think of a solution.Rafe couldnt go to Kelce’s house or Topper’s house since Topper’s mother had one of those security cameras outside of her home and she’d recognize him immediately.

She was still pissy about Topper’s accident, she’d explode if he let friends over. “SO what happens now?”Topper asked.You were all out of ideas.A simple drive or icecream or a movie couldnt solve any of this. “I mean...think about it.We’re adults, right?Child protective services cant stop us if we leave.”Kelce muttered.Rafe nodded, snapping his fingers.

 “Yeah, yeah!You’re right.”He agreed, causing your eyes to widen.They were acting insane. They couldnt be serious about just getting up and leaving forever, right? “No, no hes not.We cant just-we cant just leave!”You exclaimed.They were actually going crazy.How could they even think like that? “Why?What do you have here, (Y/N)?”He asked.You paused, thinking about it.

You didnt really have anything.You had your house of course but other than that you had nothing but memories and your boys.You didnt want to admit that he was right, letting out a quiet sigh. “But leaving forever isnt the answer.”You muttered.Rafe rubbed your back, shaking his head. “Doesnt have to be forever, baby.”He answered. 

“But- but just cause we arent kids doesnt mean we cant be registered as missing people.They’ll come after us.”You told them.You knew that nobody outside of this room actually cared about you enough to report you as missing but you were scrambling through your thoughts, desperately hunting for a reason to stay on the shitty island that you had learned to love so much.Topper shrugged, not really caring. 

“Guys, guys. Okay, look. You’re all fucked, ill admit it. But thats fine! Are you guys forgetting that I still have a house- you guys can just stay there until this whole thing blows over just like you always have!”You reminded them, hoping they’d agree. “This isnt gonna blow over, (Y/N). I cant come back here.”Rafe told you, becoming aggravated. 

“THEN MOVE IN! All of you guys, you can just move in, okay? You dont have to leave- I still have my moms money! We’ll figure it out as we go and…. And it’ll be fine.”You insisted. “Move in with you?”Rafe asked. You nodded, wiping your nose. “You practically live with me already, it wont be that different.”You told him, gripping his hand.

 It was a messy blur as Rafe packed his things, grabbing anything that he thought could be important. A photo of his mother, his birth certificate and diploma, laptop and ipad, the Frozen ll record. Kelce and Topper just watched, neither of them ready for anything like this so early in the morning. 

Maybe if you werent so tired and upset you wouldnt have said it, but here you were in Rafe’s truck, a dufflebag full of his things at your feet with the boys in the backseat as he drove to your house, a few tears rolling down his cheeks as the thoughts finally took over his brain. Kelce had got aggravated and shut down his phone entirely, staring out the window. 

The last thing you were expecting was to come down your road only to see a car that was practically falling apart already in your driveway, a tall man with his hands over his forehead as he tried to look in your windows. “What the fuck….”Rafe muttered, reaching for the door handle when you gripped his hand. “Dont, we dont know what he’s doing.”You told him, hoping he’d listen.

 Turns out he wasnt the one you had to worry about, Kelce swinging his door open and sprinting up your driveway before anyone could even stop him. Wherever Kelce went Topper went, the boy struggling to get the seatbelt over his cast before jumping out of the truck and nearly falling into a puddle. “ESCUSE ME! MR SIR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING LOOKING IN MY HOUSE?”Kelce shouted, purposely making his voice deeper.

 The man turned, confused as to why two half asleep teenage boys were walking towards him. “Your house?”The man asked. “Yes, sir. You ever heard of a gay couple before?”Topper asked, making Kelce break character for a moment. 

“Well, no, its not that. Its just that I thought this was someone elses house.”The man muttered, confused. You had slid down your seat, hoping that the man wouldnt see you. “He’s about to leave.”Rafe whispered. 

“Who’s the other guy in the car?”The man asked, pointing to Rafe’s figure. Kelce glanced over at Topper with wide eyes, trying to think. “Our son.”Kelce replied, cringing the moment he said it. The man only looked more confused, looking between the two boys. “How old are you guys?”The man asked, clearly not buying their story. 

“Excuse me? Are you saying that we’re too old to have a son? I did not spend years training for a medical degreee to have some random old man come and tell us how old our son can be!”Topper exclaimed.  “I didnt spend years trying to find a surrogate and figuring out a way to make a robot nanny for this!”He sighed, trying his best not to smile.

“Could you please leave the property before we call the police?”Kelce asked. The man was beyond confused at this point, quickly making his way to his shitty car before slowly backing out of the driveway, eyes still scanning the area before he gave up and went down the street. 

You let out a sigh of relief, moving to get up when Rafe placed his hand on top of your head to keep you down. “Hes coming around again.”He whispered to you, taking in a shaky breath and holding it in his lungs as the car passed a second time. Topper and Kelce were standing by the door, staring at Rafe almost as telling him to get out and make a run for it.

 “Open the door in 3...2…”You didnt wait, jumping out and running towards the house, typing in the key pad as quick as you could, Topper’s hand pushing you inside. “Here he comes again!”He exclaimed, coming in right behind you along with the others before Rafe slammed the door shut and locked it, letting out a laugh.

 “Oh god, that was scary.”He chuckled. Kelce and Topper nodded as well, eventually laughing. “Was that my dad?”You asked. “Maybe.”Topper answered. Now that you thought about it, your dad didnt same important. Nothing did. You lived on a huge rock that’s floating around space and you’re concerned about your dad when your boyfriends best friends are moving in.

 “What’d you tell him?”You asked. “We told him that we’re a gay couple, Topper’s a doctor and Rafe is our child.”Kelce replied. You giggled, snorting. “I mean, as you should.”You replied. “Hell yeah.”Kelce grinned. Topper tapped at his arm. “Bro, you wanna get married?”Topper asked. Kelce laughed again, nodding.

 “I’ll get baptised and get you guys married!”Rafe volunteered, all of you turning to look at him. “Did you just say baptised?”Kelce asked. Rafe nodded, eyebrows furrowing. “Is that not the right word?”He asked. Topper shook his head. “The word is ordained.”He informed the tall boy. “He’s trying his best.”You replied, sitting down on the chair that you werent used to sitting in. 

“You think he’s gonna come back?”You asked. Topper groaned, sitting down. “Well, I hope not. I dont want my husband and I to have to fight him.”He grinned. You rolled your eyes, changing positions in the chair. “Did he look like me?”You asked, leaning your head against the arm rest, groaning when Rafe pushed your legs aside and sat down with you.

 “Not really… he had rat tails for eyebrows.”Kelce replied, putting his fingers over his eyebrows. “Do I have rat tail eyebrows?”You asked, grinning when Rafe reached forward and poked your eyebrow, a chuckle slipping past his lips. “You wish.”He replied. “Fuck off.”You answered. “Dont be fucking rude.”He grinned, kissing you quickly before pulling away with a small smile. 

You were shocked, trying to hide your surprise. It wasnt like you werent used to kissing Rafe by now, it was just that he had never done it in front of the boys before. They looked nearly as confused as you, the thought of Rafe kissing you in front of them never even being a concern until now. They were used to him getting most of your love and attention but that had just stirred something within them. 

“So how are we gonna do this? I dont know about you guys but im not going back to my house anytime soon.”Kelce announced. Rafe lifted his head, looking over to the boy. “You could always sneak in your own window to grab your things...maybe wait until theyre at work. What about you, Top?”Rafe asked, turning his attention to the blonde boy. 

“What do I have at my house that I need? Like, really need.”He asked, grinning when none of you could answer. “Problem solved.”He replied. “What time is it?”Rafe asked, breaking the silence. “Ten.”Kelce replied, closing his eyes as he leaned against the couch. “Im going upstairs to take a nap then.”Topper yawned, slowly making his way down the hall into the first floor guest room. 

It was arguably the worst since it also worked as your moms office, a queen bed pushed into the corner. You wiggled out of Rafe’s grip, smiling when he whined. You went into the kitchen, grabbing a poptart. For the situation you felt rather calm, opening the silver package and taking a bite of one of the sweet pastries. 

The energy in the house felt different than it had yesterday. You werent sure why, maybe it was just the comfort of knowing that the boys were going to be living with you now and you wouldnt have to worry as much about Rafe or Topper’s relationship with his mom. 

“So how are we gonna handle this?”Kelce asked, confusing you. “The house, I mean. You have this whole house and like...30 million dollars. We can literally redecorate however we want, maybe even clean out your moms office if youre okay with it.”He suggested. 

You nodded, the idea of getting the memory of your mother cleansed from your life sounded appealing. His excitement took over as he opened his amazon prime app, looking for new decor. “How do you feel about your moms room?”He asked, not wanting to push your limits. You shrugged, swallowing part of the pastry. “Shes not using it.”You replied, surprised by how morbid you sounded. 

He simply nodded, shifting in his seat as he added things to his cart. “Can we redo your room? It’s been the same color since we were fourteen.”Rafe suggested. You shrugged, not really caring. You didnt spend a large amount of time in your bedroom anyways. You scrolled through your phone for a few minutes, seeing a little red bubble next to your messaging app that let you know that you had gotten a text. Curious, you opened it. 

As soon as you saw who it was a pit grew in your stomach, eyes widening. It was her. “Sweet words, (Y/N).”The text read. You knew that it was your uncle just trying to mess with you but it still caused your anxiety to skyrocket, deciding to block the number and place your phone between your thighs, taking in a deep breath through your nose. 

Topper dragged his feet, coming out of the room with a frown. “That’s the most uncomfortable bed in all of history.”He muttered, sitting down on the couch instead. “You can go upstairs.’You reminded him, feeling your phone buzz against your inner thigh. 

He just hummed, leaning his head against the back of the couch. “How long was I in there?”He asked. “Literally not even ten minutes.”Kelce replied, still scrolling. “Did I miss anything?”Topper asked. You didnt reply, breaking off another piece of the poptart. “We’re gonna redecorate the house.”Kelce answered. Topper nodded, lifting his head.

 “Does that mean that office too?”Topper asked. You nodded, staring at a spot on your carpet. “Does that mean we get to open the file cabinet in the guest room?”He asked, all of you looking over at him. The thought made you feel nauseous. Even if she wasnt here to yell at you you knew that opening the file cabinet would still scare you anyways. 

“If theres a dead body in there I swear to god-”You muttered, earning a chuckle from Rafe. “A body couldnt fit in there.”he replied, making your eyebrows furrow. “How do you know where bodies can fit?”You asked. “No, no. Like, its not….well...maybe a raccoon body.”He admitted. “Rafe!”You exclaimed, smacking his thigh. 

He rolled his eyes, pulling you into his lap. “There’s no raccoon body.”He answered. “I think theres a raccoon body.”Kelce replied. “Theres not.”You answered. Topper grinned, skipping into the room and beginning to open the cabinet, the three of you following him. “Okay, who votes raccoon body?”He asked, his hand on the knob. 

Kelce raised his hand, grabbing your arm to make you hold your hand up as well. “Ready?”Topper asked before pulling the door open, looking into it. His face fell immediately, not expecting this. “What?”You asked, stepping past Kelce and looking into the cabinet.Guns were being held by small metal pieces, multiple clear bags full of plants and needles on the floor, bullets on sashes hanging with the guns.

 The two of you just stared, ignoring Rafe and Kelce until they came up behind you, equally as confused. “What the fuck?”Rafe asked, seeing the bags. Kelce slammed the doors shut, locking it. “We’re not telling anyone about this, right?”He asked, looking at all of you. “What are we gonna do with all that? We cant just keep it here!”Topper argued. 

Rafe shrugged, resting his elbow on your shoulder. “We smoke the weed and throw the guns in the river, obviously.”Rafe answered. “We’re not smoking weed, Rafe.”You answered. “Well your mom didnt have a liscense to carry, right?”Kelce asked. You shook your head, figuring it would be hung up somewhere in the house to remind you of the power she had.

 “Right, okay. So we cant call the cops and we cant keep it here.”Kelce answered, clicking the lock on the cabinet. “What’d your mom even do for a living?”Topper asked. You frowned, thinking back. You never really knew what your mother did, you just stayed quiet and hoped you wouldnt make her angry. She’d disappear for months, money would appear in your bank account, she’d pay the bills aned thats all you needed to know. 

She’d have long phone calls with people in her office, grounding you if you even dared to listen. “I dont know.”You replied, cringing at how stupid you sounded. “She has these cabinets all over the house, doesnt she?”Kelce asked. “The one in her room is actual files.”You told him, hoping that there were no sorts of hidden things in her room.

 “Should we go check?” Rafe asked, out of the room with a grin before any of you could even answer. You sighed, slightly annoyed that he was treating this like a scavenger hunt. “Its been here this whole time, im sure nothings gonna happen.”Kelce assured you, patting you on the shoulder before his fingers tickled your arm and wrist, gripping your hand and bringing you upstairs. 

“I ordered some tapestries, succulents, fake vines and some new blankets for our new movie room.”He told you, nearly slipping up. “Movie room?”You asked, nearly slipping on the stairs. “Your mom has a big tv, I figured it could be like a second living room if you’re comfortable with that.”He answered, pausing at the top of the stairs so he could wait for you. 

Rafe was in your mother’s room, carefully pulling on the drawers, eventually finding out that the top one was locked. He looked over at you, silently asking if you knew where the key was. You shook your head, letting go of Kelce’s hand and opening the bottom drawer of the filing cabinet, the hairs on the back of your neck standing up. 

Your mother kept most of your medical documents and anything like that to herself along with basically everything that proved you existed. Baby photos, ultra sounds, old school tests. “We could just move it into the other guest room.”Rafe muttered, hoping he wasnt making you upset. You ignored him, looking through all the little colored tags, your eyes falling on a silver tag, your eyebrows furrowing. No other ones had that color. 

You picked it up, sitting down and reading it over. The words were all bundled together, ink scratches and smudges told you that it wasnt a serious document. The only word you could make out was ‘arsonist’. Nothing else was eligible. “Can we take it right now?”You asked, placing the paper on the floor and closing the drawer. Rafe nodded, Kelce grabbing one side while Rafe grabbed the other. Topper grinned, leaning against your mothers unused desk.

 “I would help but my arms broken.”he laughed, watching as Kelce struggled, walking backwards. “Some moral support would be great.”Kelce rolled his eyes. You grinned, slowly clapping. “Great job, guys. You’re doing great moving that illegal file cabinet.”You held back a laugh. They turned carefully, shuffling as they eventually got to the guest bedroom.

 “How do you feel about this?”Topper asked, sitting down on the chair. You sighed, shrugging. “I mean, you know. Its not that I dont love the idea of you guys being here but like… its the circumstances.”You answered, sighing when he pulled you closer with his good arm, rubbing your back. “Thanks a lot for this, though. Like in all seriousness im really grateful that you’re in my life.”He blushed, looking up at you. You smiled, kissing his nose lightly.

 “I mean, I do provide you with half of the drama in your life.”You giggled, kissing him gently. “Where does the other half come from?”He asked. You shrugged, sighing. “Probably you.”You answered. “I cant believe you’d say that to me! You know im at a bad place in life and you put me in this terrible situation when you know that!”He fake cried, bursting into laughter. 

“Kourtney dont laugh at me!”You exclaimed. You felt a vibration under your feet, hearing a loud, dramatic sigh and the sound of skin colliding. They had successfully moved the file cabinet, the door closing as their loud footsteps hit the floor as they entered your mother’s room again. Rafe took a moment to look around, sometimes forgetting that the room even existed. 

It was the biggest room in the house, the ceiling going up at least twenty feet with only glass separating the room from the outside world. His mind wandered, thinking of all the fun nights the two of you could have in here watching the stars or listening to the rain.

 The bed was large and still, the blankets and sheets unwrinkled and untouched. He understood why you were creeped out by the house now, feeling like he didnt belong in the room. You all took turns trying to figure out what the writing said, eventually deciding that it probably wasnt even in english. “Should we put it through google translate?”Rafe asked, staring at the paper. 

Kelce shook his head. “Nah, its not reliable. I tried using it for spanish class in freshman year and I got detention.”He replied. “Well thats definitely not spanish. Maybe its like…. Ancient text.”Topper suggested, causing you to frown. “I highly doubt that my mother would know an ancient text. 

Maybe we should just leave it.”You answered. Although you werent exactly satisfied with it you just didnt feel like spending your time trying to decode a random paper. They didnt seem satisfied either but didnt want to push you, putting the paper down on the desk where it would be safe from your footsteps. 

Of course the boys just couldnt stay at the same place for long periods of time, deciding to suggest that you guys go out to a store to get some paint for the boring walls. You agreed, the four of you getting into your car instead of Rafe’s truck, locking all the doors and windows before you left. 

Kelce didnt suggest a McDonalds run which caused you to frown, knowing that he was probably too stressed to want to eat. You guys went into Walmart with one goal, heading right for the paint section and looking at the wall of colors. “Lets get four colors and kind of just make it up as we go.”Kelce muttered, looking at all the different shades.

 “We could all pick one out.”Topper suggested, reaching forward and picking a bright green. You agreed, picking a shade of light purple, watching as Kelce picked the color toffee biscuits and Rafe went for cotton blue. You doubted any of the colors would actually look good together but that wasnt the point of the project. 

It was more about making the room look fun rather than nice. Kelce grabbed a few large paint brushes, the four of you leaving before you could get distracted by anything that you didnt need. Topper decided to get right to work, spilling some paint on the floor as he dragged the brush along the wall, creating bright stripes.

 “I have an artistic vision! Trust the process!”He exclaimed, feeling your judgemental eyes on him. You didnt say anything, watching Kelce struggle to connect his phone to your speaker, playing the first song on his playlist. 

Line without a hook. Topper looked over at you, almost like he was silently asking you if you had told the boys about his top secret playlist. You shrugged, not wanting to give anything away to the others.

 “Oh my god, I love this song.”Rafe dunked his brush in the light blue, making a smiley face on the wall. “Can I paint an onion?”He asked. You raised your eyebrows, not understanding why he wanted to put an onion on the wall. 

“Ogres are like onions! We have layers!”Kelce laughed. “Who is we? Are you an ogre, Kelce?”Topper asked, not taking his eyes off of the bright stripes, painting a circle on the top. “Topper Harry Katherine Thornton, are you painting a penis on my wall?”You asked, connecting the dots. 

He grinned, ignoring you. “Of course not.”He replied, painting frantically so that you couldnt stop him, green drops rolling down the wall. You picked up your paint brush, painting two circles quicklly before pushing the brush into the center of each, laughing to yourself.

 “Guys, really?”Rafe asked. “Cant we make the wall wholesome?”He asked. You shook your head, a smile on your face. “Says you of all people, Rafe.”You shook your head. “She got you there.”Topper replied, dragging the brush across the painting and blending it out so there was no longer a penis on your wall. 

“What are you doing now?”You asked, wanting to one up him. “What are you doing now?” He mocked you. Somehow you ended up splashing Topper with paint and getting tackled into the mattress as he held the paintbrush over you, trying to get the bright green liquid on your face while you held his arm back. 

“Im gonna murder you!”You laughed, rolling over under him so your face was against the mattress. “Im gonna paint your hair!”He laughed, holding the brush just above it. “Topper, dont mess with her hair.”Kelce took the brush away. 

Topper groaned, falling next to you on the mattress. His eyes were closed, the sun from the window casting a beautiful glow over his face, a small smile tugging at the side of his mouth. You pressed a kiss to his cheekbone, your arm resting on his torso. 

It didnt take long for painting to be forgotten, a few cheap bristles sticking to the wall with messes of colorful lines and unfilled shapes. The song changed, followed by a loud gasp from Rafe. “This is my favorite song!”He smiled, hitting his knees with his fists repeatedly. 

He didnt know what about it made him so happy, whenever he heard it it reminded him of you guys. “You know what we should do?”Topper asked. “No.”Kelce replied while Rafe rewinded the song to listen to his favorite part again. 

“We should make soup. Like, spicy soup with potatoes.”He replied, mouth watering. “We could just order soup.”Kelce replied, not in the mood to go downstairs and hunt for ingredients. “Order soup from where?”Topper asked. Kelce simply shrugged, shifting around and putting his arms under his body.

That had been a week ago. Since then a lot had happened. You guys had developed a system, Kelce could do his laundry on Saturdays, Rafe on Mondays and Topper’s just got mixed in with yours.

 It was a love and hate relationship to have them there with you. You didnt regret your decision but sometimes things would get difficult. Grocery shopping was the worst since nobody could decide what they wanted and you had all agreed not to eat out as much. 

“We need an actual meal, we cant just eat chips for everything.”Topper would grumble, realising he didnt even really know how to cook. That just lead to late flights of searching for recipes o pinterest and watching Gordon Ramsey tiktoks until they decided to try and make bake and shake chicken. That didnt really work out well, having to open all of your windows and get the smoke out of your house. 

Then you guys decided to take a new approach, finding a ton of frozen pizzas and ingredients for sushi. Kelce was the only one who had any idea of what he was doing since he had always been talented in the kitchen, specifically with breakfast. That became more of a safe meal for you guys, making extra food in the morning to eat later for dinner until you got sick of toast, eggs and bacon. 

Kelce ended up banishing you all to the pool so that he could decorate properly, vines hanging from the door ways and landscape tapestries hanging in your living room, hallway and your mother’s old bedroom. “How long do you think he’s gonna be?”You asked, floating on your back in the shallow end, letting out a yelp when Topper grabbed you and dragged you to the deep end. 

“I dont know, probably like three days.”He replied, finally letting go once you were in the middle of the pool. “We could survive three days in the pool.”You replied, watching Rafe shake his head. “With my allergy to the sun?”He asked, making you turn over, going underwater for a moment. “You dont even sunburn.”You told him, splashing water in his direction before swimming away quickly so that he couldnt get back at you.

 Kelce kept getting calls from his parents that were asking him to come home but he never did. They knew where he was, if they wanted him back so badly they’d drive over and take him away. “Guys, i’ve finished my creation.”Kelce announced, coming outside. “So we can come in now?”Topper asked, gripping the ledge of the pool and pulling himself out, falling onto his stomach as he struggled to get up.

 “Yes, you can come in now! Hurry!”Kelce yelled excitedly before going back inside, waiting impatiently for you guys to hurry. Rafe helped you out of the pool, tossing you your towel so that you wouldnt trail water through your house. “Guys! Come on!”Kelce shouted again, the three of you walking across the hot pavement quickly.

 “I’ll clean up the water after- just come see what I did!”He said again. You rolled your eyes, walking into the house. Goosebumps formed on y0our skin from the cool air, eyes widening as you looked at the kitchen. He had bought a plaid tablecloth for the table, vines hanging from the ceiling and doorways, a tie dye tapestry hanging in your living room. It looked like he had taken the time to wipe down every surface and vacuum any mess of broken spaghetti or eggshells that had been kicked under the fridge.

 “Do you like it?”He asked, unable to read your shocked expression. “Kelce, im gonna be honest with you. I feel like im in pixie hollow right now.”You grinned, making him smile. “I think thats a good thing- but upstairs is better!’He exclaimed before making his way up the stairs. He was right. 

There were marble heart shaped tiles hanging on the walls of the hall, a sign on the new hangout spot that was made out of drift wood. He opened the door, revealing bean bag chairs on the floor, a new carpet, a light yellow canopy hanging over the bed that had all new sheets and blankets on it as well. 

He had even somehow managed to fix the paint on the wall so that there were different colored polka dots all over it. The boys seemed equally impressed, still taking it in. You hugged Kelce, not even caring that you’d get his clothes wet. “So I did good?” He asked, hugging you back. “You always do good.”You replied, feeling him hug you tighter.

 “So you’re happy?”He asked, letting out a small sigh when you nodded. “I am happy, Kelce.”you replied, kissing him lightly. He smiled against you, taking in a deep breath. “I found a new recipe for fancy grilled cheese.”He told you, kissing your forehead. This was something that you loved about having them live with you.

@sweetlittlegingy​    @nicolefarley603 @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch @newsies-yeet​ @butgilinsky​ @jjjmaybank​ @gracelovesbroadway​  @one-stella @spn-marvel-nerd @lovelyelinor​ @chinamolina602  @sexytholland @28cnn  @popcrone818 @fttayla @cherryobx​ @n1ghtsh4d3-67​ @drewstarkeyobx​ @poguestyleskye​ @judayyyw​ @jjtheangel @jj-iz-bae@sunwardsss @meaganjm  @sarcasticsagittarius1998​ @natalie-kate-98​ @nxsmss​ @broken-jj @joshy-obx @classygirlything  @annmariek8​ @stupidpendeja​ @killjoyybsinner @pink-meringues @outerbongs​  @copper-boom​  @httpstarkey​ @teenwaywardasgardian   @simonsbluee  @deionswannabegirl​ @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee​  @on-socks-off  @abbiesthings @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @dmonchld​​@annmariek8 @harryswigss​ @ibookofstars​  @lostaurorax​​ @cheshirecat107​​​

[ashketchup119]

WELCOME EVERYONE TO ENLIGHTENMONTH (i know im three days late but it be like that)!!! Koukari is one of my oldest ships, so yall KNOW i had to do something. This is actually a snippet from the very long, very fun digimon fanfic I’ve been writing for oh… seven years? Thereabouts.

I still have things coming up for pokemon and the next chapter of figuring it out as we go coming out later today, but i threw all of that to the wind and sat down and, in a fit of inspiration, typed all of this out at 2 AM last night. That being said… ignore the typos. Hope yall like it!!

Together

Enlightenmonth prompt 1: morning/evening

The whole restaurant seemed to be holding its breath.

Well- “whole” implied that there were more than three people in the restaurant.

Kari took quiet sips from her tea, hands shaking noticeably as she stared out the window at the evening sky. Her hair was disheveled, her cheeks red, and her eyes dropped occasional tears that she was quick to wipe away. The tea clasped within her hands had long since gone cold, but she continued sipping anyway, seemingly oblivious to the change in temperature.

Izzy was typing away at his keyboard, somehow managing to click the keys silently in a manner that made clear how much time he spent typing. His hair was messy, his eyes unfocused, and his left eyebrow let out an occasional twitch. He seemed to be staring both through and at Kari, who was looking out the window.

Tai was texting someone on his phone, blissfully unaware of the silent exchange that seems to be happening between his sister and his best friend. He’d hung his jacket on the side of his chair, and had three empty cups in front of him, along with a couple of empty plates.

“Joe is trying to get everyone to buy Mimi a gift for her visit next week.” Tai all but yelled into the empty air, and both Kari and Izzy started and turned to look at him. “I don’t think I’ll do it because broke college student with a kid on the way, but do you guys have any plans?”

“I,” Kari began, voice cracking slightly. She cleared her throat, and continued, “I was thinking of getting her some new scrunchies. She seems to really like those.”

“Mm, that’s a good idea.” Tai murmured. “Izzy?”

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to see Mimi during her visit.” Izzy answered offhandedly, returning his focus to the computer screen and the keys beneath his fingers. “I’m very busy with classes.”

‘And I don’t know if I’d be welcome there anyway.” Went unsaid, but Kari, ever the intuitive one, picked up on it anyway.

“We’d be happy to have you. If you do find the time.” She muttered, crossing her arms and pressing her hands to her forearms.

Izzy looked at her for a moment, eyebrows raised, then quickly schooled his features. “We’ll see.”

The strange tension returned.

“Oh, I’ve gotta go.” Tai spoke after a few minutes, shoving his phone in his pocket. “Soccer practice!”

Kari and Izzy nodded, and Tai ran out of the cafe.

For a moment, neither of them did anything. Kari sat still as a statue, and Izzy ceased typing in favor of staring at nothing.

Kari’s lips pressed into a thin line. “We should talk.”

Izzy sighed and closed his laptop. “I know.”

“You seem to know a lot of things!” Kari hissed, finally looking at Izzy.

“I don’t.” Izzy replied mournfully. “I-“ He hesitated. “I… feel like… I don’t know anything at all.”

Kari scoffed and looked back at the window, tears falling freely down her cheeks.

“For what it’s worth… I’m sorry.” Izzy felt the distinct urge to reach across the table and wipe the tears from Kari’s face, but he also knew that would make things worse, so he kept his hands on the table.

“…Okay. You’re- you’re sorry. You’re sorry.” She repeated, feeling as though she couldn’t remember the meaning of the words. “Sorry for what? Sorry for- for running away?! Sorry for- for-“ She gestured vaguely at her stomach. “For this?!”

“I didn’t run away!” Izzy yelled, then looked down at his hands and murmured, “I didn’t run away. You- just-“ He struggled to figure out his next words. “What was I supposed to do? You didn’t want me around! You said so! If-“ His voice broke. “I would’ve stayed if you’d asked me to.”

The silence returned, though this time the very air around them felt oppressive.

“I wanted you around.” Kari whispered. “I just said I didn’t because- because I was scared.” She wiped some more tears from her eyes, then added, “I still am.”

Izzy hesitated for a moment, choosing his next words carefully. “I’m scared too.” He finally confessed. “I don’t know how… it’ll all work out, but.” He paused. “But I want to be there. I want to help you. I want us to get through this- together.”

He held out his hand, and Kari stared at it for a moment before she slowly clasped it between her own.

“Together?” Izzy repeated, hopefully.

“Together.” Kari confirmed, smiling.

[one-abuse-survivor]

Tired is when you're sick of life, or feel weighed down by the stuff around you. Sleepy is when you want to go to bed. That's how me and my friend do it, anyhow. At this point, I'm fucking exhausted to the point where I feel too tired to let it out but im gonna anyways. There's bits in here that I can't tell my friend, or anyone, so i'm hoping bc this is anonymous i can let it out. Right, intro done lol. Onto the story. Last night, i have no idea what time, maybe five or six, (all i know is this

thing ended at 7pm), my mom storms out of the room and comes back holding a bottle of water and her bag. She proceeds to tell my dad she found the bottle at the bottom of my bed, (basically im not supposed to have anything at the bottom of my bead bc asian tradition believes that youre on top of it and thats dirty or whatever). Then she pulls out my school photo, puts it on the table and tells my dad to look at it. Starts ranting about how I never listen, i look horrible, worst photo i've ever taken. 

Basically, I go to a private school, and they think I should look good, and then they spent some time lecturing me about how i was supposed to look right when i was in the school, I look like a boy, i act like a boy, my hair's a mop, I look like a hooligan. Start talking about when i dress to go to school, how my shoes aren't polished and one of them has laces that show the white inner. How my hair's messy at the back, if i saw someone in jeans and someone in a suit in the street, who would i think was respectful? They told me they shouldn't have let me into the school, they loved me too much, that's why, they should have let me go to this public school that has a reputation for being a mess, that i belong there, waste of money, they regret letting me go here, thought i was a respectable girl. 

Dad asked me again, who wouldd i think was respectful, the jeans or the suit, and I told him I don't know. We'll get to that later, but at that moment he sneered and snorted and looked at my mom. 'says she doesnt know' he jeers. I'd meant it as in 'i have no idea, please help me'. He took it as 'she doesn't know, and doesn't give a fuck'. I don't know how to look proper. they never taught me. they tell me that something looks good so i wear it. mom still buys my clothes for me. I have no fucking clue what looks proper and what doesn't. 

Anyways, somehow they moved onto uni, and my current work, and how I pull all-nighters and how dad thought i was smart but nopw he has no hope, how he sees me get up in the morning and know i'm going to fail the assessment, how i get distracted, how i take too long to shower, how i never learn, how i never help them around the house, they do everything for me and if he was in my shoes then he would work until 'smoke came out' (vietnamese saying), how he would be so grateful but i'm not and they're going to leave me (which is a normal threat for them lol) and how they're going to die (another normal threat, dad has a lifelong illness and mom has been struggling with leukaemia for years) and they're not going to pay for uni if i get a stupid degree, only if i get a good degree like they want which will actually help me (law), if i want to become an engineer (something im considering) then i can pay for it myself, then again it's not like i'm even going to get into uni, when they look at me, they have to think of the girl i was when i was five because if they think about me now they feel sad, they won't look at me because I make them sad, they had so much hope for me, now down the drain, no, down to the sewers, look at my cousins going out, one of them had piercings and infections and almost got tattoos and is a nurse in a prison with a husband who stressed her out so much she passed out at work, do i want that, that's what i will get if i dont work, basd job, assisstants have to buy pads for their bosses, horrible child, this will end one of two ways, one i listen to them and come back years later to thank them or i'll look up at the stars and wish that i'd listened to them and they regret having me and caring for me, if only they'd been better parents, they'd been too lenient, but i don't care do i because if i cared it'd show in my working to please them and i haven't done that so that means i don;t care about them.

Dad told me it was too late to change, then switches to tell me it's not too late, they ramble on about my internet use, (i have to ask them for internet) and i'm not acutlalyu doping work on it, i'm just fucking around, they kjnow, they know, i can lie all i want nbut it's true. Horrible child, they'll die, they'll die, That's the end of the conversation, we're not going to talk about it anymore. No, stop talking. I'm going to tell you this until i die. I'm going to keep saying it, beccause it's better that i say it and you not listen than i dont say it and regret not saying it. (okay, i can;t currently remember anything else of what they said lol.). By the way, you wanna know abt

[asks didn’t arrive and I asked for the last bit again]

ok lets hope to god this sends then. i think i know where i was up to - 'do you want to know about what was wrong with the photo' i think was meant to be that. anyways, yeah. guess what was wrong with it. i had a fucking splinge. like my hair was parted and a bit of the part was split. that's all i can see that's wrong with it. maybe my hair looked oily? idk but that's all i noticed. also said something after that about do u remember when dad asked me abt who did i think looked better the suit.

also can i add something i just remembered which is that one of them put folders on my shelf and mom told me she knew i put them there to hide what i was looking at on my laptop from her when i??? didnt??? put them??? there??? in the first place???? (the layout of my room allows the folders to block the view of someone from the door basically) i put new folders there after i think my dad put them there but i didnt originally put them there??? sorry it was a full ask rant and i have no idea what the freak i typed and what i didnt lol. but u get the gist i think. big fat lecture.

i am tired. my eyes were puffy and there was like this pool of snot floating on top of this pool of tears if you did get the ask sorry u had to read that twice. :(. i mean even tho u didnt see it i was able to let it all out. not sure if it made me feel better about anything but being able to do it at all is rlly nice. Thank you for that.

-----

No wonder you’re tired, nonnie... I’m really glad you could get all of this off your chest, and really sorry that you have to hear those awful things about yourself coming from your parents.

I’m a white European, so I don’t share many of your experiences and I don’t know how it is to live in a Vietnamese family, but I hope it’s okay to compare it a little bit with my experiences in my (very Christian) family--if not, you can absolutely skip the next paragraph! 

I have had a bunch of conversations with my therapist about traditions, religion, and misogyny, because since I cut my mother off, my grandfather has lectured me many times about how I am a bad daughter for looking out for myself and putting my life first instead of being devoted to my mother’s wants and needs. He told me that she’s sick and I’m horrible for not caring about that and abandoning her, and that if she doesn’t love me, I just have to work harder until I "crack her walls”. (As if I haven’t tried already, and as if she didn’t use her very mental illness as an excuse to abuse me). My therapist basically told me that sometimes, being the Disney villain in some people’s stories means you’re doing something right, because their vision of what’s right and what’s wrong (especially when it comes to daughters and women in general) is designed to hurt you, to make you put your family before yourself. That it’s never wrong to put yourself and your needs first, and that kids don’t owe their parents anything just because the parents brought them into this world--that was the parents’ choice, not the kid’s, and therefore it’s the parents’ responsibility to care for their kid, whoever that kid turns out to be; and not the kid’s responsibility to be the model child that the parents had in mind or to care for them.

Your parents belittling you for things you have little to no control over and accusing you of being responsible for their future deaths, for not knowing things that haven’t been explained to you, for not living up to their expectations without even giving you a chance to try, and for not “working for them as hard as they would in your place”, are all red flags of emotional abuse. Accusing you of things you don’t do and constantly drilling into your mind that they “know” you’re a horrible person who doesn’t want to learn or change is a red flag too, and probably an excuse to take the guilt off their shoulders for not taking the time to guide you in life and to explain anything to you before accusing you of not knowing it already. “It’s too late” puts the blame on you, but what it actually means is probably something along the lines of “It’s easier to scream at you than to put realistic expectations on you and then help you achieve them while respecting your boundaries and allowing you to make mistakes, but I don’t want to feel guilty about it, so let’s pretend you’re a lost cause, yeah?”

I used to go to a private school too, and my mother repeatedly told me that was the reason she struggled economically and that I had ruined her life. It wasn’t until I talked about it in therapy that I realised that I never had a choice in what school I went to. Same as I never had a choice in anything my mother decided for me. So how could I be to blame for the consequences of those decisions? And how can you? If they buy you certain clothes, then they have no right to criticise how you look in them. If they chose to put you in a private school, then the money spent is on them, not you. You shouldn’t have to “prove” you’re worth their decisions for you or their basic care for you--they chose to give you that unconditionally the moment they decided to have you in the first place, and if they refuse to give it or threaten to take it away, it’s becuase they’re neglectful and/or abusive, not because something intrinsic about you justifies it. You’re not a bad kid; you’re just a normal kid with very bad parents. And I’m really sorry that you have to put up with them. You deserve better 😔

I’m here if you need to vent again in the future, nonnie. Sending a virtual hug ❤

[midnight4krisis]

I Want This - Part One

Predebut era, Trainee!Reader

Han Jisung/ Older Reader (ft. Bang Chan)

Warnings: A Roller coaster of fluff, light angst, and (eventual) smut. Some cringey texts I’m sorry kdhi

Summary:  You met Chan on your first day of training, and never left his side ever since. You shared everything together, even the same group of friends. He was the only one you ever trusted, the only warmth you needed until Han Jisung came into the picture. Count: 2k+

Part One Part Two Part Three

A/N: Even though this is predebut, I’m going to treat the characters with their current ages.

It was pouring outside, your dark bedroom illuminated softly by the reoccurring lightning.

Tucked under your covers, your body shivered with each sound of thunder, eyes darting at your shaking windows. You were never the type to be phased by the weather, but today was different.

The rain had been going on since sundown, growing with each hour, and It was 12 am already yet your roommate was nowhere to be found, having already left your dorm room to attend a gathering at some bar with the rest of the older trainees, probably sheltered from the storm underground.

You never joined her on any of these events, not that she wasn’t fun, but it’s mostly because you preferred the company of the younger trainees. Something about their raw energy and carefree attitude really drew you to them, and you never understood the issue in enjoying slightly sillier activities or just plain fooling around to get your mind off of the daily stress.

Usually, you were the one taking care of them and providing a place of comfort for when they needed help or advice, even if you weren’t the most helpful. And yet today was one of those days where you were the one that needed the comfort since the change of weather seems to be playing with your own mood, but even the youngsters were busy with their practice today, leaving you dreading that gap in your schedule.

You heard knocking on the door, and you know it’s strange since no one else in this level was there.

“Coming” you got up despite the fear, still wrapped in your blanket.

“Hey y/n” you opened the door to the sweetest smile spread across a pale fit young man leaning on your door frame.

“Chris!” You grinned in relief at the sight of your best friend. “Thank God you’re here.”

He lets out a small chuckle, his dimples becoming more prominent, and it only made you smile more. “Why, what’s up?” He looked around dramatically, then whispered: “are you scared?”

You pushed him playfully and he continued to giggle at your reaction “No! I’m just..”

“Hmm?”

“Stop it!” Your pitch became a little higher. “Okay, I’m a little phased by it, but only because it’s been going on for hours! And I’m alone with nothing to do and it’s a little dark an-“

“Ok ok, all you had to say is ‘please come in Chris I need you’” he cut you off.

You rolled your eyes at his teasing and pouted your lips childishly before deciding to give in. “Ugh, just come in”

He makes his way to sit on your bed as you turn on the lights.

“Woah.” He attempts to hold in the laugh this time. “I didn’t realize you were wearing that” He points his eyes at the baby blue blanket hugging your body.

“ it’s cold!” You raise your eyebrows at him.

“Not that cold.” He mocked.

You narrowed your eyes and ran towards him while unwrapping the blanket to throw it over his head and land beside him.

“What the-“ he struggled to get the tangled cover off, and you couldn’t help but laugh in revenge. “Seriously?” He glared at you through his messy hair, then shook his head as he laughed it off and wrapped the blanket around both of you.

You couldn’t believe how easily he had introduced coziness and comfort into your gloomy room, but then again this was Chris.

“So, how come Christopher Bang is free on a night like this?” You swayed your head at him.

He rolled his eyes “It got really boring hanging around a laptop for the past week”

“You don’t say?” You giggled. “I kept nagging you to take a break so you won't burn out, but no-“

He covered your mouth and hissed “I know, but I told you many times, once I’m in the zone, I can’t get out.”

You snatched his hand away “I just hate it when you drain yourself like that.” You pout, then stared at the red veins in his eyes, his bent posture devoured of energy, and you realized this might not be the most comfortable position for your overworked friend.

“Do you want to lay down a little?” You extend your hands towards the stack of pillows and stuffed dolls on the back of your bed.

Chris immediately grabbed your fluffy panda, as if he had waited for the opportunity. “Mayybe” he squeezed the stuffed animal.

You giggle as you escaped from the wrapped blanket and rearranged the pillows for him, and got up to close the lights and darken the room once more but this time adding the dancing flame of two scented candles.

“These are my favorite scents when I need to relax, lavender and-“

“Cheese cake?!”

“Vanilla” you said in between your laughter.

“Close enough! Gosh, I’m hungry.” He groans and stretches more over the bed, still grasping your panda.

“Honestly, what’s new?” You jump over the pile of pillows behind him, leaning over your side so that you’re looking down at him. “But have you actually eaten anything today? Or did you forget while working like always?” You started playing with his hair.

“I may or may not have done the latter”

“Chris!” You whined and pulled his hair slightly.

“Ouch! You know I can’t do anything about it.” He bent his neck to look up at you.

“Yes you can, I always told you even if you’re too busy to get something yourself, you can tell me.”

“I’m not going to burden you like that.” He brought his head back down. “You have your own stuff to worry about.”

“Don’t make me pull that hair out of your scalp” he chuckled at your brutal comment. “Besides, it’s not like I have that much going on.” You sigh.

“Uhh y/n.” His voice starts to stagger. “You’re constantly practicing and doing your best, daily. I’m sure something great is waiting for you soon. Just don’t think about it too much.”

“Yeah.” You continue caressing his hair. “I know that. Honestly, who am I to complain when it’s only been 3 years” you let out a faint chuckle. “That’s nothing compared to what you’ve been through. I’m really happy for you, Chris.” You smiled wholeheartedly, poking his slightly rosy cheeks.

“I know.” He giggled, but soon after that, his face became devoid of expression. “I’m just” he sighed. “a little worried about the possibility of eliminations. I don’t think I could leave any of the guys behind.”

“And you won’t have to. They’re all ready for this, and your bond as a team in itself is enough to amaze anyone, Chris.” You reassured him, staring straight into his rheumy eyes. “It’s gonna be alright, I promise.”

He shut his eyes right after you said that then turned to curl his body into the side of your bed, leaving you a little startled at his reaction.

“Thank you, y/n.” He mumbled, and the subtle sounds of his soft snoring soon followed, and couldn’t hold in the wide smile forming on your face.

You continued playing with his curly strands while staring at the rainfall now slowly sliding on your windows, it seemed like he drifted the storm away on his way to sleep, like the sky had been roaring for his aching body to rest.

You stumbled back to reality at the buzzing of a phone beside you, it was Chan’s, and you couldn’t stop yourself from quickly peeking at the spam of messages.

“HYUNG”

“HYUNG WHERE ARE YOU”

“I know you’re working but why are you not answering the door?”

“You can’t possibly have gone to that weird party with Minho Hyung?!”

“YOU DID?!”

“CHAN HYUNG STOP LEAVING YOUR PHONE ON SILENT IM GONNA SCREAM”

When the messages kept coming, you were starting to worry, but at the same time couldn’t for the life of you wake him up.

So, you decided to use the privilege of having your fingerprint saved on his phone to see what’s going on without bothering the poor guy.

You stared at the contact name. “Jisung?”

“Final call: HYUNNNGGGG”

“Jisung calm the f down, what’s going on? it’s y/n, Chris is asleep right now..”

“Y/n? What are you doing with Chan’s phone? Where are you guys?”

“We’re at my room, and you were sending too many messages so I had to check. Sorry, but I couldn’t wake him up after he finally got some sleep.”

“Hyung? Sleeping? Is this a miracle?”

“My magic 😌 or my panda’s, he’s suffocating him right now”

“Please take a pic, I need that for..research”

“Bold of you to assume I hadn’t already taken one, but you’re not getting your hands on it.”

“Pshh I’m coming to see the real thing”

“?”

“👀”

“Did you just invite yourself to my room? Uh hell no, Chris needs rest 😠”

“NOONA PLEASE IM LITERALLY THE ONLY ONE AWAKE”

“DO NOT CALL ME THAT and is that why you kept spamming him? Well, your insomniac parter has abandoned you tonight”

“This is not fair 😭”

“Yes it is, and you should get some sleep too, you guys had practice all day.”

“But I cannnnt. Why don’t you spare me some of your magic too?”

“Nop, you have to earn it”

“Noona why do you hate me? 😒”

“Maybe because YOU KEEP CALLING ME NOONA”

“But you are my noona”

“But Idc I don’t like it, makes me feel old”

“Oh please, everyone knows you act like a 10-year-old”

“🙂🔪"

“IN A GOOD WAY, a really adorable way actually, but I still like calling you noona”

“And I still hate it, AND YOU”

“Pshh I’ll make you love it”

“Lol how”

“Like this..”

You suddenly heard faint knocking on the door. “Unbelievable.” You muttered before being forced to get up and answer so Chris won’t wake up.

“NOON—“ Jisung said loudly before you covered his mouth.

“Shhh” you whispered. “What is the one thing I told you not to do?!”

“Come to your room? Bother chan? Calling you nooooon—“

You cut him off again “see? you demonstrated my point exactly” you giggled a little at the silliness of the entire situation.

Truth is you obviously wanted him around, you didn’t feel like sleeping anytime soon and wasn’t entirely comfortable with sharing a bed with your best friend, so having Jisung as a distraction till Chris woke up wasn’t a bad idea.

You just don’t know why you love teasing him, maybe because his reactions are always over the top and entertaining to see, or maybe because he does the same to you.

“Just let me in and I promise I won’t annoy Chan Hyung” he pouted

“Hmm” you pretended to give it a thought.

“Come on, pleaaase” he grabbed your shoulders and shook you around gently “NOONA PLEASE”

“No no, stop saying that” you groaned.

“I won’t stop, noona. I won’t stop until you let me in”

“Fine, just-“ you let go from his grip. “Don’t make a sound” you emphasized on your way in.

He closed the door behind him quietly and you both sat down on the far edge of the bed.

“You weren’t lying about the panda.” He exclaimed with a slight chuckle, observing his teammate in his peaceful sleep. “Must be so nice sleeping over a mountain of pink pillows Chan.”

You laughed at the desperation in his voice, like he actually meant it. “Don’t even think about joining him.”

He looked back at you instantly. “I’m offended.”

“I can’t have two guys sleeping on my bed!” You whispered dramatically.

“As if having one is less weird.” He snorted.

“Nah, it’s Chris! You know it’s not like that.” You react in a slightly defensive tone.

“Shh.” He imitated the way you shut him earlier, whispering “you’ll wake him up.” Before laughing it off once you gave him a slight push. “I know, noon-“

“No.”

He let out a low chuckle. “But I’ll be honest, not everyone does.”

“Does what?”

“You know..” he leaned his head towards the direction of the blond laying behind you, and your eyes stretched wide open.

“Me and Chris?!” You accidentally raised your voice but proceeded to yell through the whisper. “You guys think?”

“Ehh” he hesitated to answer.

“What! No, we’re not- that’s not how-“

“I know I know, relax.” He giggled and reached for your wrists to calm you down, His tone and expression softening as he spoke. “Yes we had our suspicions at first because we weren’t used to friendships like that, but it’s pretty obvious by now, so don’t worry about it.”

You nodded and looked down at your snatched wrists. skin-ship was a regular thing between you and Chris, you can’t pinpoint exactly when it started being so, but it became too natural for you to think of it otherwise, and you assumed it was the same for him as well. For reasons beyond your understanding, you felt safe around him.

However, it wasn’t that way with the other guys, so staring at Jisung’s fingers rested on your skin in that fashion felt foreign, your instincts pulled back before you realized it.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable” He rubbed his neck and looked away. “I should tone it down with the teasing, it’s getting annoying.”

“No, it’s not that-“ you buried your face in your palms. “I never know how to explain this, I just trust him more than anyone.” You release your face and look up slowly.

“You guys spent the longest together in training, it makes sense that you’d be this close.” He shrugged.

You nodded.

“Anyway, do I smell vanilla?” He looked around, trying to change the subject.

“And Lavender.” You juggled your eyebrows.

“Damn y/n, no wonder he’s passed out, you really know your stuff.”

“Thank you.” You chuckled.

Jisung always knew how to keep the mood bright, it was something you really admired about the boy.

You can’t recall a moment where the smile left his full cheeks, or where the sparkle left his dark eyes.

And through the next hour it was all the same, your roommate still nowhere in sight, your best friend passed out on your bed, and Han Jisung failing to keep the both of you quiet from all the laughter.

It didn’t seem like Chris is waking up anytime soon, and for a while, you forgot how late it was, until Jisung let out a low yawn, and yours followed. “I think you need to wake him up before you and I pass out beside him"

You looked back with furrowed eyes. “I don’t have it in me, look at him.”

He sighs. “I’ll get going then, have fun explaining this to your roommate.” He scoffed as he got up.

“Wait, you’re not going anywhere” you tugged at the tip of his T-shirt, looking up at him, you just realized how baggy he wore his clothes, and how good his golden skin looked in black. “Not until he wakes up.”

“But I thought you didn’t want me here.” He smirked.

“Just sit down Jisung.” You whined.

He obliged, but the smirk failed to leave his face as he stared at you.

“What?” You felt the blood running to your cheeks. why was he looking at you that way all of a sudden?

“Nothing.” He shook his head and looked down, and for some reason, his fluffy hair was so tempting to pet.

He continued to glance at you when you came in contact with his soft strands, the goofiest smile engulfed his face. “Are you bribing me to stay.”

“Am I?” You gently brushed his bangs out of his face. “Maybe.” Or maybe you couldn’t resist it.

He laughed and pulled away. “I’m not falling for that, I’m tired, right? I practiced all day, remember?” He imitated you again.

“Why are you acting like you weren’t the one who begged to come here in the first place?” You smirked back, inching closer.

“And why are you ignoring the fact that you absolutely needed me?” He slowly leaned back.

“I did?” You tangled your fingers in his hair again.

“Uhmm” he hummed before shooting his hands back to catch himself from leaning over, only to hear the loud breath escaping Chan.

“Shoot!” He quickly removed the hand he accidentally rested on Chan’s leg, and the two of you stared widely waiting for him to wake up.

But to your relief, he didn’t.

You both looked back at each other, stuck in the same position, his face now just as flushed as yours, and at the moment you forgot you were almost on top of your younger friend.

You were gazing at a completely different Jisung now, and you only wanted to get closer.

“Noona?” He whispered softly, his face close enough for you to feel the warmth of his breath.

“Y-yes” you started to stutter, frozen in place.

“Can we move off the bed?” He brought his other hand to your hand caught in his hair, and the contact felt electrifying. “Hyung might wake up.”

You mummed, still processing the cause of your wavering body.

He snatched your hand in his and brought them in between you, caressing it as his whispers deepened “Noona.”

You blinked, your breaths growing shorter, eyes finally leaving him to wander towards his lips. How come you never noticed how sweet they looked?

He tugged at your hand to come closer and bit his lower lip.

He noticed.

Was it the cold weather that confused your body’s shivers? or the adrenaline left from the frightening thunder? you weren’t sure, but what you were certain of is that whatever it was that pushed you towards his lips, you didn’t want it to go away.

[leaughrilke]

HI IM HERE FOR REVENGE 15 + rilaya pls

15.  things you said with too many miles between us

find it on:ao3ff.net

It’s one in the morning, Riley’s in London, and Maya can’t sleep.  Can’t shut her brain down enough to stop thinking that she shouldn’t have let her leave the way she did, shouldn’t have left things how they were.

It was stupid to pick a fight, to guilt Riley the way she did just before she was supposed to leave, but—god, Maya doesn’t even know.  Doesn’t have a reason for what she did beyond the hurt that radiates out from her chest when she thinks about how much she missed Riley.  How much she misses her still.

Georgia seemed to get further and further away the longer the year went on; freshman year was hell and her heart was back in New York.  It made sense for Maya to transfer.  It made sense for her to keep it quiet until she knew it was a sure thing.  It made sense for Riley, unaware of these plans, to start planning her own sophomore year.  

Which meant London.  Which meant more time apart, furthered by the internship Riley picked up at Eric’s office in D.C. and the TA position Maya snagged at a private summer school in the city.  Which meant that Maya uprooted what little life she had in Savannah and packed all her shit on her own just to go through the same awful, heart wrenching routine she and Riley managed during the academic year all over again.

It came to a head, finally; it was ugly and messy and Maya regretted everything she said as she said it, but there was no stopping it.  She and Riley’d seen each other for what maybe averaged out to a week and then Riley was going to be gone for a semester, maybe two depending on how it worked out and Maya was tired.  Scared that maybe they weren’t actually different from every other high school couple.  Scared that maybe forever meant something different after spending a year apart.

Mostly, Maya missed Riley.  Missed her so much it felt like she couldn’t breathe, missed her doubly thinking back, to all the nights she spent wishing she could touch her, and forward, to all the time she thought they’d get together.

They left things on a bad note, an uncertain one.  Maya had told Riley to leave; Riley left.  She texted a little later, but Maya was still too raw to respond softly, so she’d left it unread.

She didn’t go to the airport with the Matthews to see Riley off and—

well.  Now she’s in their city, heartsick at how awful she’s been.  It was selfish to pick a fight, to expect Riley to have been as miserable as Maya had been.  Even more selfish to be upset that she hadn’t been.

Maya checks the time.  It’s a little after six in London and Riley will probably be awake.  Just because she didn’t want it to happen doesn’t mean Maya didn’t prepare, didn’t memorize Riley’s schedule and add London’s time zone to her phone.

They haven’t really spoken since Riley left.  They’ve texted here and there, managed a couple short phone calls.  Maya’s been able to pretend things are fine thanks to the stress of move in, been able to displace her anxiety, reassign it temporarily.  But now it’s been two weeks.  She’s been moved into her dorm for four days; Riley’s been for eleven.

She misses holding her hand, how it felt when Riley would play with her hair.  Misses the easy way they fit together.  But mostly, Maya misses her voice.  Misses hearing her mumble sleepily love you, Peaches.  Misses the way her name sounds when Riley says it.

God, she’s a mess.

Riley picks up after three rings.  “Maya?”  Her voice is pitched low, raspy from sleep.  Maya can practically picture her, hair falling out of the bun she’s taken to putting it in before bed, rubbing her eyes blearily in the weak London sunrise.

“Shit,” Maya sighs, rolling onto her back.  “Did I wake you?”

“No, no,” Riley says.  “My alarm went off right before you called.  Kind of perfect timing, actually.”

She nods, then, feeling stupid because Riley can’t see her— “Good, good.” 

They lapse into silence.  If it were any other time, any other phone call, they’d already be talking over each other, filling the gaps of their time apart with details about cool dogs they’d seen or weird professors.  Any other time, and this would be so easy.

“Maya.”  Riley’s voice is clearer now, but she’s speaking softly.  Like she’s figured it out.  Like she knows exactly why Maya’s calling.  

“I—,” she starts, struggling to string the perfect words together to make this right, to make it better.  “Honey, I—I don’t—.”

“Peaches, I know.  It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not, Riley.  I—god, I’m so sorry.  I’m so sorry I hurt you.”  Maya takes a shuddering breath, squeezes her eyes shut.  Groans when she feels tears slip out of the corners of her eyes, slipping down to her temples, her hair.  

“Hey, no, baby,” she coos, proving again that Riley knows her too well.  “Don’t cry.  We were both upset, we both messed up.  I know you didn’t mean any of it.”

“I still said it.  I still tried to get you to stay and I was so out of line to do that.  I just—.”

“I know.”  A sigh, a choked off sound that makes Maya feel like she’s going to die.  “I miss you too,” Riley says thickly.

“You can’t start crying too!”

Riley laughs, the sound muffled by sleep and distance, but it’s still warm and bright and sounds like home.  Maya can’t help it, finds herself saying, “I wish I could see you.”  

“Okay,” she hums.  “Let’s Skype.”

“Don’t you need to get ready?”

“It’s orientation, I can be late.  Besides,” Riley says softly, “I miss your face.”

“But—.”

“Just until you fall asleep.”

“Riley.”

“Maya.  Don’t punish yourself over this.  I want to see you, too.”

She makes a compelling argument.  Maya huffs out a laugh that sounds hollow in the otherwise empty dorm room—her roommate isn’t due in for another day or two and the silence is starting to get to her.

“Let me grab my laptop.”

It takes a fair few minutes of fumbling in the dark to find her computer, another five before the connection to the school Wi-Fi is strong enough.  Riley stays on the phone with her the whole time, her soft early morning sounds muted, faint over the static.  There just the same.

When it connects, Riley’s pixelated for a beat, but then her smile is clear as day and brighter than the sun.  “Hey Peaches,” she grins, pressing her face as close to the camera as she can.  “You look like hell.”

It startles a laugh out of Maya.  “No shit,” she says, a smile inching onto her face.  “I haven’t exactly been sleeping well.  Apparently being an asshole to your girlfriend will do that to you.”

Riley frowns, but doesn’t argue the point.  Maya must really look awful if she’s letting that slide, not pushing back the way she normally would.  Instead, her expression softens, her mouth quirking up.  “Well, I can bore you to sleep with an in-depth explanation of the London underground,” she offers.  “Or maybe a titillating play-by-play of how admin messed up my meal plan and shorted me thirty pounds.”

“Mm,” Maya yawns, laying back down.  She sets her laptop on the other side of the bed, tucked between her pillow and the wall.  “Topanga gave them hell, I’m sure.”

“No!  I did!”  The video freezes for a second, leaves the image of Riley’s beaming face front and center for a moment even as she says, “Oh, babe, you would have died.  That woman thought I was possessed or something.”

“Did you get your thirty pounds?” Maya manages, her words running together.

“More than.  You’re sounding pretty tired, baby.”

“’m not tired.”

“Okay,” Riley says, sounding entirely like she doesn’t believe her in the slightest.  “Did I tell you I ended up across the city?  I’ll tell you again, if I did…”

…

When Maya wakes up, the call is still running.  Riley’s reading, curled up in her bed and the angle of her camera makes it feel like she’s just on the other side of the bed.  For a moment, the distance between them doesn’t feel quite so vast.  

Maya smiles, readjusts.  Falls back asleep feeling warm.

[lewishamada]

Panda's Past (a oneshot)

((so, i am not used to write some fanfics, because im used in drawing mangas and comics so pls bear with my wrong grammars here.. English is not my first language haha)) This is also includes in the list of my upcoming working comics :) --- It was an ordinary morning with the bears. The wind rustling in the iron branches gently scratching Panda's window. Panda, rubbing his eyes got up and fix everything and just turned into his cellphone. Scrolling up to refresh, a new total number of likes: 0 Panda may be used to this kind of situation but it may never settle less. Opening his door, and his big footsteps were heard walking to the bathroom. Ice Bear, the one who got first woken up, flips the pancakes and frying the eggs. "Oh good morning man, what's for breakfast" Panda said in a hoarse voice uncertainly saw what Ice Bear cooked. "Pancakes, Fried Eggs, and Bacon" Ice Bear replied in his usual tone, flipping the pan and the shizzling sound of oil can be heard. Panda headed to get his contact lenses and carefully placed it in both of his eyes. Panda can now see clearly... his image in the mirror, seeing the black spots in his eyes and he felt happy despite of having 0 responses and likes in his new video in Everyone's Tube and instantly wears his smile and saw Grizz went out of his room. "Hey bros! Good morning!" Yawning and stretching his paws out and went immediately to the kitchen table. "Ice Bear will go to bathroom... to clean" Ice bear said in the same voice and carefully handed the brush and the detergent. Just a typical day for the bear as it is. But something is bugging Panda's out. A small conversation is in between Panda and Grizz after eating "So Pan-pan, i just remembered why i got hooked with that giant burrito man" "So-so... what is it? Is that even have in connection in what are we doing now?" "I mean like, when i was a cub, It was a stormy night and the thunder crackles—" "Dude wait—" Panda pause for a few moment reminiscing something inside his mind, gently opening his mouth and spoke some few words: "I should post this with the hashtag Throwback Wednesday" Grizz interrupted with a stomp in the kitchen table and all of his food went anywhere... Its actually a total mess. The bacon prepared by Ice Bear is in the floor. Waiting to get it back, Grizz immediately chomps the bacon and leaves a burp. "Panda, let me finish please. Oh c'mon man, it's fascinating!" "Okay Grizz I'll listen okay okay" "It was a stormy night when i climbed a tree, I dont even know how I climbed that thing but somebody help me out of it—" "Wait wait! Is that us?" "Man, no!" "Okay okay" "The fireman helded his hand at me and telling me to trust him, when I hugged his arm, i feel comfortable in a state where all of my fears were gone" "So did you just think that Burrito is also the fireman's arm?" "Yes. Thats it!" Grizz went back to his room and go on a surf. Immediately, Ice Bear has finished cleaning the Bathroom, and it's ready for use. Panda, alone in the kitchen table, staring in the ceiling seems like he's thinking deep. Ice Bear went on his front and gently got his Vaccuum below Panda's feet "Ice Bear needs that vacuum" "Oh sure bud, ta-take it" Panda lifted his little toe above the chair. The chair creaked as he bent his self to help Ice Bear got the vaccuum. Panda again, as his usual habit, surfing the internet finding some good things happening. Panda is a one kind anxious bear, actually he really is, since birth. With his body and system full of requirements to interact with the everyday life. Full of allergies including his severe allergies to peanuts. In a moment Grizz went out in his room and shouted. "Ohhh guys! I saw something here in the internet! The voice trembles Ice Bear since he is in front of Grizz. Shaking, falling and shivers. His eyes were in total shock for what Grizz have done, but all of these is just normal to Ice Bear... Like seriously, he's acting nothing happen. No one can blame that he is introvert in nature.. Grizz, in a total shock hold Ice Bear's arms and helping him to stand up. "Sorry dude, I think I just screamed so hard! Oh well man, you are fine now" Grizz scratching his head pleaded for forgiveness, and as Ice Bear patting his shoulders and rubbing his nape, scratching his legs. "Ice Bear is ok now" Grizz in a relief, continued what he wants to say. Fixing his self. Clenches his fist and shows the laptop. "Pan-pan! Look at this article about Pandas!" Panda, amazed about what he heard, jumped in into Grizz' side, rushing in an instant. Ice bear also takes a peek from the laptop, gently squeezing himself from the bears. In the article shown, Grizz read it aloud, but not that loud. Loud enough to be heard from 500 meters radius away from them. "So, I'll read. "Pandas are racoon-like animals, but they are bears—"" Panda, in anger interrupted what Grizz has read, and immediately corrects them. Ice Bear and Grizz left in silence while Panda is having corrections on the article "Pandas are not half-bear, half-racoons! The-The'yre just bears with spots!" "So they're giant racoons?" Grizz replied in astonishment and confusement. Ice bear and Panda look at each other and trying to understand if it's a joke or if it's serious. "C'mon man! there is no such thing as Giant racoons!" Panda said in a clear voice, raising his arms like for sacrifice. Ice bear joins in the conversation, steps forward in a second. "Ice bear thinks Pandas are racoons" "Even you bro really thinks pandas are racoons? C'mon man! You and grizz do'nt understand me!" Panda, in a high voice, yells in front of the bears, and rush outside of the house. Angrily forced the door shut leaving the door a big BANG. Panda went into the wilderness "Pan-pan do'nt go!" Grizz cried aloud. "Let's go dude! let's find Panda!" Grizz and Ice Bear immediately gets out of the house and tries to find Panda. --- "Pandas are not racoons. Are they racist? Like, I am a bear okay—" Panda is taking a rest in the shade of the giant tree. Gentle breeze scrapes his fur and unexpectedly, a tear drop in his own very eyes. Panda is crying. He went up and fix his self, patting his tail for some dirts, rubbing his eyes and carefully opens his cellphone. A notification popped up in the screen of his phone, as he reads that message, he thought of something worth done if he leaves the cave. What if he will make a new life alone? Without his brothers? Panda knew his side, and he also knew that he is over acting. He forcely closed his eyes and think. But all of the things that pin him down is going inside his head. A bit of diziness is unto him. And he falls to the grassy ground. A fall that lead him where his past is lurked within. His greatest fear, the memory he wants to forget. -- The puddle of rainwater is clearly seen in a rainy night sky. The loud noises from the above is the only tool that can make little panda to trek the road all by himself. Soaked, filthy, stench smelling animal, walking alone in the rainy evening. Little Panda is struggling in pain. A thorn of a certain plant, is buried under his toes. Bleeding a little, but surely the pain lies inside. Earlier, he was in a trouble with some racoons, and jumped into rosebushes finding a good place to hide. But this is not what is happening, the reality is unfair. Being a new visitor in New York makes sense since he's from China. Went into a trip from an airplane to immediately place him in the zoo, but panda thinks this is not helping him realize the fun. Instead, he has the will to get out of the cage and find a new life. He realized that having his brothers in his life really makes him think that life isnt challenging, you will actually need some bud to carry you on. A bud that sleeps in the ref, in a messy bedroom, and a bud that is his brother. -- Panda opens his eyes, and a bit of blurry can be seen, although he already has his contact lenses. His head, aching a little that much, is not in his business. Panda immediately gives a warm hug for his brothers. He, trembling with embarassment pleaded for sorry. "G-guys, I'm so sorry about what happened" His eyes, starting to flow with some teardrop, shakes and wants to eject and makes him cry, but Grizz hugged him tighter that makes him lovable and cute. Grizz, in a replied, also asks for forgiveness. His paws are hanging a bit wanting some handshakes, but Panda also gave something. It's a picture that says "Pandas are racoons" "Ice Bear does not believe with that things" Ice Bear, enters the conversation with a suspicious look in his eyes. Clearly seeing that Panda is contented with his brother. He hugged them so hard that even Grizz cant feel his tummy. "I love you guys. I wont leave you again"