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There are so many lost chickens in my neighborhood

Two years ago there were signs all around my neighborhood about a lost chicken named Boots. Maybe a month after I saw this I was walking along and saw two TOTALLY DIFFERENT chickens just wandering along the sidewalk a couple blocks from my apartment, unattended. 

Last weekend, there was a lost chicken in my driveway. All my neighbors in my building stood around saying, “Do we know whose chicken this is?” and suggesting we go door to door asking around. But the problem was that so many people around us keep chickens that it could belong to like 3-4 homes within two blocks.

I live in a city.

I grew up in a small town in Idaho where there were supposedly more cows than people. Never in those first 18 years did I encounter a lost chicken. In the East Bay, it’s like one a year.

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October can’t come soon enough

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We all know gays who can’t sit in chairs properly, but may I present to you: gays who sit on the floor even though a piece of perfectly good furniture is less than three feet away.

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I saw an opportunity and I took it

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therapist: how are you? me: fine how are you

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the posture of a man

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You win $430 million tomorrow, wyd?

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Janelle monaé: pynk!

Janelle monaé: like the inside of your…

Janelle monaé: 😉

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