#sorry for the inactivity i’m struggling again

[american-horror-whore]

[itoshiexx]

running your fingers through their hair

you are now reading... LENA'S 1K MILESTONE EVENT FIC!

↳ itoshi rin, michael kaiser, reo mikage (separate) + cafuné (n.) - running your fingers through the hair of someone you love

notes: omg hi guys! i'm freaking ALIVE!!! i know i've been terribly inactive but life as a recently graduated lawyer has been INSANE and i barely have time to breathe, let alone write. regardless, i was able to finish this after some struggle, and i really hope you guys like it! cafuné is a brazilian word and it's something i love very much, so thank you anon, @kyukiss and @etoiile for the request and sorry it took so long ♥

event masterlist

Itoshi Rin

“you remind me of a dog, you know?”

rin’s eyes shoot open with your unexpected words, and you receive the harshest glare you’ve ever witnessed on his face when it came to you. 

“excuse me?”

his tone is supposed to be threatening, but his voice is slightly laced with sleep, so it sounds a lot more like a whine. you snort a little bit, pausing your ministrations on his head, where your fingers run through his hair. 

“not in a bad way, baby. i just mean you’re like a puppy when you want my attention,” you giggled a little, and if rin didn’t love the sound so much, he would have berated you. 

“that’s absolutely not true.”

“it is, though. you came back from practice all tired and grumpy, and the first thing you did was put your head on my lap because you wanted me to run my fingers through your hair. you didn’t even showered, rin.”

“i did shower! on the locker rooms!”

you smile mischievously. “oh, i thought the dampness was from sweat. i was about to call you out for being stinky.”

rin’s grimace worsened, and a pout formed on his lips. you couldn’t resist the urge to squish his cute cheeks together. god, he was so adorable it tugged on your heartstrings. how was that even possible?

you lowered your head to give him a quick kiss, and although rin tried to deepen it, you pulled away fast, grinning once again. he knew what was coming even before you said it. “you’re also like a puppy when you trail after me around the house. a lost puppy.”

his groan reverberated through the whole apartment, and rin shoved your hands away from his face, scowling. “i fucking hate you.”

“no, you don’t.”

“i hate you. i’m serious.”

you giggled again. “so why didn’t you leave my lap then?”

his eyes met yours, and you kind of relished in the furrow of his brows. it made his pout even cuter. “…what.”

smugness radiated off of you, because you knew rin — your rin — like the back of your hand. and if there was an universal truth in the world, it would be that the younger itoshi was down bad for you. enough for him to stay despite your shenanigans that always got on his nerves.

“i said, if you hate me, then why didn’t you leave my lap?”

his mouth opened, but no retort came out. he gaped like a fish for a few seconds before groaning again, turning his body so that he could hide his face on your stomach. you laughed at his childish behavior, knowing it was one of the reasons you loved him so much. not many people were able to see this vulnerable side of him, and you were glad to be one of them. 

“shut up.”

“yeah, yeah. you big baby.”

comfortable silence engulfed the both of you, and rin remained hidden on your stomach as you picked up the book you were previously reading, wanting to continue the story. though your left hand was suddenly tugged to lay on your boyfriend’s head.

“keep going,” he murmured, “…please?”

a gentle smile took over your features, and you were quick to run your fingers through his dark, silky strands. rin sighed softly, content with the affection you gave him — as if your angelic hands could take away every doubt swirling on his mind and wipe off the tiredness from his sore body.

“of course,” you said. and your mind completed silently: i’d keep going forever if it made you happy.

perhaps you were down bad, too.

Michael Kaiser

contrary to popular belief, michael kaiser was not a bad boyfriend. 

despite his huge ego, his narcissistic tendencies and his extravagant yet somehow rude personality, he wasn’t the type of guy to treat his partner poorly. in fact, he was a very attentive boyfriend, always doing his best to make sure you were happy and healthy.

or maybe it was just you. who knows.

whatever his reasons were, you relished the fact he took such good care of you, even if he wasn’t physically present because of away games — because michael was very good at making people notice him. whether it was with a bouquet of your favorite flowers delivered to your job, a nice breakfast cooked before you woke or even a small note of love professions. 

however, nothing really compared to having him there, with you, flesh and bone. 

especially on those days you just felt so miserable you wanted to disappear. 

“liebling? you okay?”

it was one of kaiser’s rare day offs, and all you wished for was to spend some much needed quality time with your boyfriend. though, this wasn’t possible due to your job, one you liked having despite michael saying he could support the both of you financially.

but the day at work just sucked. like, a lot. it was that kind of day where things go from bad to worse in a matter of minutes, and when you swear it can’t get shittier, it does.

you were exhausted and emotionally drained. the whole drive back to your shared apartment you were holding back tears, and the dam broke the second you heard kaiser asking you that.

“whoa!” the blonde exclaimed when your bodies collided on a tight hug. “what is it, engel? what happened? did someone hurt you?”

his worried tone just made you sob harder, and kaiser rubbed his hands on your back, trying to give you some comfort. he started to sway your bodies together while humming, doing everything to calm you down.

eventually, your sobs died down, and your boyfriend carefully brought you to the couch, making you lay on top of him; head on his chest. he started to gently scratch your scalp, running his long fingers through your hair.

“you feeling any better?” he asked in a low tone.

“yeah. thank you, mikka.”

the blond only hummed. “do you… want to talk about it?”

you had to stifle a giggle. god, he was so cute. even when he sucked at talking about feelings, he always made an effort for you. 

you slowly shook your head. “jus’ had a really bad day. but it’s okay now.”

his eyes softened impossibly, and you nearly swooned at the sight. “yeah?” 

michael kissed your forehead, and kept threading his fingers among your locks in a gentle caress. you smiled, because it was all you really needed to be comforted.

“yeah.”

Mikage Reo

reo’s body collapsed on top of yours, effectively knocking the air out of your lungs. you should have been used to it by now, really, since he’d always do that after you finished your smexy times, but sometimes it still caught you off guard.

“reo, you’re heavy,” you groaned, teasing him. “get off me!”

“give a guy a break, will you?” he whined. “i’m tired.”

your giggle reverberated through his body, and reo repositioned himself to lay his head on your chest, hugging your waist tightly as if to never let you go. he’d rather lose all his fortune before he let that happen. 

“is mr. athlete getting out of shape? i didn’t know this light exercise could make you so…”

your boyfriend interrupted you with a groan. “babe!”

you raised your hands in mock surrender, giggling again, and reo thought maybe he didn’t really care about your teasing if it meant seeing you this happy. he loved you in all your versions, but carefree was his favorite one. 

“sorry, baby. i’ll make it up to you, yeah?”

before he could make a suggestive joke, his breath hitched in his throat when your soft hands started caressing his hair, gentle fingers threading through his purple locks making him sigh. it was so unfair, he thought, how you managed to disarm him with just a small touch, reduce him to putty in your palms with a little gesture of affection. some of his friends said he was a fool in love, and reo couldn’t agree more. 

your love made him silly, but he didn’t hate it. he could never hate anything about you. all mikage reo was able to feel was love, love, love, an emotion so strong it nearly overwhelmed all of his senses, making him forget about all his worries and responsibilities — heck, even the whole world. and he didn’t mind if the world burned as long as he could keep you safe and away from the flames.

“what are you thinking about?” the whisper of your voice echoed the walls of your shared bedroom. 

“what makes you think i’m thinking about something?”

though reo couldn’t see you, he knew you rolled your eyes. 

“it’s usually how the human mind works, honey,” you answered, your wit making him stifle a laugh. “besides, you’re always so chatty, talking my ear off—”

“hey!”

“—so it always concerns me when you get quiet.”

the heir sighed, letting the silence linger a little longer to recollect his thoughts. reo usually didn’t have a hard time expressing himself with words, but sometimes his heart swelled so much it made it hard to think. so, pretty much every time he was with you.

“it’s just… i’m thinking about how i never really believed in past lives and reincarnation. i never really believed in soulmates, either,” he said, and you paid attention to every word. mesmerized by the wonder in his voice and even more by the sparkle in his purple eyes when he averted his gaze to yours. 

“but when i think about you, love… when i see you in my arms or when i rest in yours, i’m sure you are my soulmate, and that we were together in every lifetime. it’s always been you. it will always be.”

your chest swelled with love for the man laying in your embrace, and you tried to hold back the tears from falling. god, he was everything. you didn’t even know what you did to deserve a lover like mikage reo, but you were far from complaining. 

you gave him a chaste kiss on the forehead, trying to convey even a fraction of the love and adoration you held for him, and looked back to caress his face. then, smiling with the world in your eyes, you answered:

“it’s always been you, too.”

© 2024 itoshiexx. do not plagarise, translate, or repost any of my work on here or other sites.

[orimuraa]

𓏲 ๋࣭  ࣪ ˖ Sorry, I love you - OT7

꒰ 𝔖𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴 ꒱┆enhypen after an argument ⨾

۶ৎ ot7!enhypen x fem!reader ┆angst, a bit of fluff┆mentions of arguing, petnames, kisses, crying┆ wc 958

⤷ 𝐲𝐞𝐣𝐢’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: hellooo! im back from the dead once again..sorry ive been so inactive 😓 school is really busy lately but i promise to be more active! please reblog if you enjoyed ^^

꒰ঌ ℬℴℴ𝓀𝓈𝒽ℯ𝓁𝒻 ໒꒱

𝑳𝒆𝒆 𝑯𝒆𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒖𝒏𝒈 - 이희승

after the two of you said your peace, you went separate ways to just have time to think. you and heeseung rarely got into arguments, so it hurt a lot when you did. “baby?” a small voice came from behind the door as you hesitantly walked to the door. opening it, you saw your boyfriend, his big bambi eyes looking up at you apologetically. “oh baby i’m so sorry, i never meant to lash out at you,” he sighs, pulling you into a soft embrace at the sight of your red and puffy eyes. he knows that after arguments, it’s always best to just hold one another and talk through it. he loved you so much, he just couldn’t risk ever losing you.

𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝑱𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒈 - 박종성

the moment jay's hurtful words slip past his lips, he's all over you, apologizing, kissing you, telling you how he never meant it. you know he didn't mean it and you know it was a mistake. but the words hurt. an argument that got out of hand and now jay was at your feet, profusely apologizing to you. you pull him up and into a tight hug, whispering into his chest that you know he didn't mean it and how you aren't mad. "princess, i love you so much. you're too good to me," he says, kissing the crown of your head and whispering sweet words of affirmation to make up for his cruel ones.

𝑺𝒊𝒎 𝑱𝒂𝒆𝒚𝒖𝒏 - 심재윤

it was late and jake had just gotten home from practice. one small sentence threw him off and lead to a stupid argument. the two of you were tired and in dire need of sleep, so the words being thrown around didn't entirely make sense. it ended up that jake needed some time to calm down and shower, while you took some time to also calm down in the living room. "sweets? i'm so sorry i said all those things, you know i didn't mean a single word. i'm just so tired and exhausted.." jake says, sitting down next to you on the sofa. no more words needed to be exchanged as the two of you held each other close, small "i love you"s coming from one another.

𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒏 - 박성훈

the words kept on replaying in your head as you sat alone in your bedroom, replaying the argument you had with sunghoon. it was something stupid that quickly escalated and ended with cruel words spewing out of sunghoon's mouth. you knew he didn't mean a single thing he had said but you still wanted him to explain himself. you both agreed that it would be best to calm down before talking again, so that's what you did. now, as sunghoon sat next to you, you saw him fiddling with his fingers, nervously looking down. "i'm sorry. i'm so sorry my angel," he struggled to say, but it was enough. even though it was short, it had so much raw emotion to it and you knew he meant it. sunghoon was never good with words so this was enough. you pulled him in for a sweet kiss, no words needed, just the comfort from each other.

𝑲𝒊𝒎 𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒐𝒐 - 김선우

sunoo and you rarely got into arguments, both of you opting to try and talk out your issues than continuously yell at each other. but sunoo had just come back from a hard day and he was easily agitated. he snapped at you, but the moment he did, he realized his mistake and rushed over to you, telling you that he was so sorry and he never meant to. yes it did surprise you that sunoo raised his voice that much at you, but you weren't mad. it hurt a bit yes, but you tried to realized that he must've really struggled earlier today. "just don't do it again sun. i'm not mad," you reassure him once the two of you have calmed down and now cuddled together on the bed. "i don't deserve you," he whispers, kissing your shoulders and pulling you in closer.

𝒀𝒂𝒏𝒈 𝑱𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒘𝒐𝒏 - 양정원

when you and jungwon got into arguments, it always ended with the two of you laying together on the bed and talking it out gently. jungwon hated having to raise his voice at you and never meant the cruel words that accidentally slipped from his lips. he always apologized with sweet words of affection after you both calmed down and were ready to talk to one another. if it ever got really bad to the point where you cried, he would spend the whole day holding you and beating himself up for making you cry. he never wanted to hurt you and he would cover you in kisses to make up for it. despite your clashing opinions, during the aftermath of the argument, you would always hear the other person out and let all the thoughts out, wanting to end the argument. he loved you so much and he hated arguing with you, so he always tried to keep the peace as much as possible.

𝑵𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒎𝒖𝒓𝒂 𝑹𝒊𝒌𝒊 - 西村 力

riki rarely got pissed at you, but there were times where the two of you would argue and since he always had a strong opinion, it was hard for him to back down. with the members, he was hot-headed during arguments, but with you, he always tried to calm down and hear you out. he didn't like fighting with you and he especially didn't like it when the fights got out of hand and tears would drip down your pretty face. he would immediately apologize, kissing away you tears and whispering apologies to you, calming the both of you down. once you and him were okay again, you would apologize and the two of you would spend the rest of the day cuddling and just clinging together.

𝐧𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬: @en-diaries, @k-films, @k-nets

⚘. Perm taglist: @vmpivory, @yuvany, @seozii, @pinknjm, @greentulip, @jomisu, @nxzz-skz, @ancnymcnzjy

[hollaforlyla]

HELLO!! hiii so I love your work and I have a request for youu!!

Okay so either sonic or shadow x reader or you can do both!

(your choice of course!)

Okay so..what I'm thinking is what about reader and them go roller staking! Either for a little date or just to learn how to do it.. together of course

But like reader slips forward and falls down on top of them? And so the two kinda just feel flustered

Okay! That's it THANKKK YOUUU BYEEE!!

" ROLLERSKATING DILEMMA " ── sonic & shadow x gn!reader

sorry for the inactivity, i have no motivation what's so ever; also school is killing me 😘✌🏻 thx for the request, this was so fun to write! please enjoy 🫶🏻

SONIC

The idea of roller skating sounded fun at first. That was until you actually tried to stand up on the skates. Sonic, the ever-so-confident speedster, had no problem gliding across the rink. Meanwhile, you were struggling to keep your balance, your arms flailing every time your feet threatened to betray you.

"Don’t worry, I gotcha!" Sonic chuckled, skating back to your side and holding your hands. His grip was firm but gentle, and the warmth of his hands sent a small jolt through you.

You smiled nervously. "Yeah, easy for you to say. You’re literally built for speed!"

"Hey, it’s all about balance. Just—whoa!"

You had shifted your weight forward a little too much, and before you could react, your skates rolled ahead without you fully catching up. Gravity did the rest.

You fell forward—right onto Sonic.

"Oof!"

The next thing you knew, you were sprawled on top of him, your hands pressed against his chest while his arms instinctively wrapped around your waist. Your faces were inches apart, his emerald eyes staring up at you, wide with surprise.

A deep red dusted his muzzle. "W-Whoa, uh… H-Hey there."

You froze, feeling your own cheeks heating up. You were on top of Sonic the Hedgehog. The usually smug and confident hero was now reduced to a flustered mess beneath you, ears twitching as his hands hesitated at your waist.

"I—uh—sorry!" You quickly scrambled off him, nearly slipping again in your panic. Sonic sat up, rubbing the back of his head with an awkward chuckle.

"Heh… well, guess that’s one way to get close."

You covered your face with your hands. "Sonic!"

He laughed, the sound light and teasing but still carrying a hint of his own embarrassment. "Hey, don’t be so embarrassed! Accidents happen. Not that I mind you falling for me, though." He shot you a wink.

You groaned. "I literally fell on you."

"Exactly."

You were never going to live this down.

SHADOW

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" you asked, wobbling slightly as you clung to the rink's railing.

Shadow, standing effortlessly on his skates, simply crossed his arms. "You wanted to learn."

"Yeah, but you didn’t tell me it would be this hard!"

He sighed, offering you his hand. "Come on. I’ll help you."

You hesitated before taking it, his firm grip grounding you. Shadow, despite his cold and serious demeanor, was surprisingly patient as he guided you across the floor, moving at a slow pace so you wouldn’t fall.

"See? Just follow my lead," he said smoothly.

You nodded, feeling a bit more confident—until your wheels caught on something.

You yelped as you lurched forward, your body colliding with Shadow’s.

"—!"

The impact knocked both of you off balance, and before either of you could react, you tumbled down—landing directly on top of him.

Silence.

Your hands were splayed against his chest, and you could feel the warmth of his fur beneath your fingertips. Shadow’s breath hitched, his crimson eyes locked onto yours, wide with shock. His hands had instinctively gripped your waist to steady you, but now neither of you moved.

Your heart hammered. "I—uh…"

Shadow’s face was quickly turning red, his ears flicking in flustered frustration. "…Get off," he muttered, voice slightly strained.

"I-I’m trying!" you squeaked, only for your skates to betray you once again. You nearly fell forward, your nose brushing against his before you finally managed to roll off, sitting beside him on the floor.

Shadow groaned, rubbing his face. "…Tch. Ridiculous."

You bit your lip, still burning with embarrassment.

"S-Sorry…"

Shadow exhaled, glancing at you from the corner of his eye. His flustered expression softened just a bit. "It’s fine… Just—next time, fall somewhere else."

You pouted. "Not my fault gravity exists!"

He scoffed but didn’t argue, instead holding out his hand to help you up again. His grip was still firm, but now you swore there was the tiniest hint of hesitation—like he was still flustered about what just happened.

If nothing else, at least you both got a lesson in falling that day.

[toomiieimagiines]

hihihi

uhm so am i allowed to request again (i don’t wanna spam) 😭😭🙏

and if i am can u pls do a rui x hopeless romantic best friend reader (i’m totally normal about best friends to lovers lmfao)

so like the reader is always yapping about hot guys and it’s a little angsty at first because rui is thinking to himself ‘why did i have to fall inlove with someone that won’t ever choose me’ and then one day a hot guy comes up to reader and asks her out, reader is about to say yes but then she realises that she barely knew him and there was someone (rui) who had been by her side since day one and she figures out who she really loves (RUIII) so she rejects him and when rui asks why she just hugs him and says ‘because your the one i really want’ mwah mwah i feel like such a genius (i really hope this made sense lmao be prepared for a million bestie-> lovers and angst-> fluff rui requests 😼)

thank youyoyoyoyoyuuu!!

hi guys! i���m so so incredibly sorry for how inactive i have been! unfortunately, the fanfic writer curse caught up to me, and i’ve had considerably bad things happen to me! ToT

i had developed a really bad addiction after a recent episode - which may be why i’ve loved to write my characters so miserable, but they get a happy ending in the end - and have recently relapsed after a couple months. i’ve also been struggling with a lot of things, like being bullied again, pressure from theater, classes, autism, parental issues, memory of past trauma, having no friends, things like that. i’ve just been having a really hard time, so writing has been super difficult for me. i’m currently having some of the worst mental health in my life, and am un-recovering from other things i’ve had in the past too, after seeing the results of my recovery. sorry if this triggered anybody, i just needed to get this off my chest, and felt also that i should explain where i have been. you all supporting me has kept me going, and i hope you enjoy this one too! LETS END THE PITY PARTY!!!

in other - not so depressing news - here you guys go!! sorry for OOCness, obviously this is a more dramatic approach to a story! happy ending, j tried to write the inner narration differently for how you two were feeling at the time.. and ty once again for such a great idea, mama ^3^

“I don’t think I could stand to be where you don’t see me.”

If he has to sit here and listen to this one more time, he thinks he’ll go insane.

Rui Kamishiro loves you. He truly does. You’re his best friend, his partner in crime, his-

Never mind.

Rui loves you, but he absolutely HATES your taste in guys, and it’s driving him nuts. Nodding and agreeing can only get him so far before he wants to rip his own hair out, and tonight is no exception.

“I give up! All boys are dumb, I don’t need them!” You lament, resting your chin in your hands. It’s the same song and dance over and over. You swear off boys, you get attention, you get sucked in, and he has to pick up the pieces when it inevitably fails. How many times has he thought about how much better he would treat you now? He doesn’t know. He’d be a classical lover, he’d never speak to you the way those stupid unprincipled high school boys do.

Gross. That’s his best friend, why’d he think that? And when did he start being so self confident? He really outta look at himself in the mirror. What an egomaniac he’s turning out to be.

He shakes his head.

“You do know I’m still a boy, right?” He prods, trying to cheer you up. He knows this situation well, and he knows exactly how to make you feel better. Again he’d pull you out of this, and again he’d watch you fall in love.

He wishes you could be happy. He wishes you weren’t in love with being in love. You’re too pure for true love, love is disgusting, depraved, and unkind. You’re not anything like that.

“I know, I know, but you’re the only good one!” You point, words self-assured. “I don’t need a boyfriend, you do everything boyfriendy for me anyway!”

Ouch. Thanks a lot, that’s exactly what he needed to hear right now. He’s not gonna dwell on that last bit for now, he’ll wait until he’s home. Then he can- he doesn’t know. Cry, or something juvenile like that.

“So I’m back-up-boyfriend?” He masks himself in jest, smiling teasingly at you.

“Eh, maybe,” you snicker, “you’d definitely be cute if you weren’t my friend.”

He turns to his school work sharply, trying to mask his complete and utter despair. Ugh, why does he have to be so dramatic? His own personality makes his skin crawl with disgust and hatred, and that only makes him cringe more. He could think about how obnoxious he is all day. Maybe he should use that go home and cry pass early. He pretends to check the time, as if that isn’t all he’s been doing.

“It’s getting late, after this problem I should get going.” He mutters, scribbling some random numbers into his notebook. You yawn in response, being broken out of absentmindedly scrolling through your phone.

“Ugh, I wish you didn’t have to go!” You drape an arm over his torso, trying to hold him in. He smiles fondly, wrestling to get you off of him.

“I’d have to walk home in the dark then, do you want that?” He knows you’d never let him, and he sees it immediately.

Your face looks knowing, and you let him go right away. It amuses him at first, but quickly fills him with overwhelming pity. You’re so kindhearted it makes him sick. You shouldn’t worry about someone like him, it’s bad for your health.

“Would you like me to walk home with you?!” You shoot up, the idea of him not being safe running through your head. Maybe he should’ve kept his mouth shut. How emasculating! He’s not a helpless young girl! He’s just as manly as those boys who you long for, he’s not a puppy to be walked!

God, is jealously turning him into a bigot? He shakes his head once again, this time not just to clear his thoughts. He’s absolutely not letting you walk him home, it’d be mortifying. He takes your attention belly up, you should have a break. Maybe some time to yourself for a change? God, Rui, get a grip.

“I’m fine, I don’t want you out late by yourself either,” he assures, looking at you in haste.

“Ah. You have a point.”

“I always do.” He means more to that, and he wishes he could tell you. He wants you to see that even he knows what he’s talking about. He needs you to see him, just for once. Not as a best friend, or backup boyfriend, just as a regular one. As a lover who dances in the rain, or ties your shoes

He needs to stop. He shouldn’t think about you like that. It’s lecherous.

You two exchange goodbyes, giving him a long hug (much to his horror). He hates how feverish it is it hold you like this, it makes him feel guilty. His body gets hot, his cheeks flare up, his throat feels tight- it makes him feel like a pervert, even if his thoughts are the farthest thing from lewd.

He feels that everything he thinks about you is repulsive, though.

“Be safe”’s and “See you later”’s are passed between you two, and he walks down your front steps, now completely alone. His eyes scan the damp pavement, seeing the golden hues from the sky light the boring rock. That’s how he feels about you, he decides. You’re the sun, and he’s the pavement. He humors himself by thinking that your suitors are the clouds, stopping you from shining your light for him so he can grow weeds in the cracks of his soul. That’s what these feelings are. Weeds.

He wants to live life beautifully with you, he decides. He wants to tie your shoes, he wants to twirl you as you dance.

He wishes he could be the moon. Something of consequence- of importance, but he’s just the pavement. Not the earth, not the stars, not the clouds, or rain, he’s just a man made monster who destroys nature - you - and is walked over by people who do matter.

He should quit being this way, he grumbles, it doesn’t do anybody any good to be so flowery. He’s too girly- too weak. Maybe that’s why you don’t like him. If you’re willing to date anything that moves other than him, that must mean he’s on a completely new level, huh?

That’s what dreaming gets you, Rui. Crushed dreams and embarrassment.

He lets out a pitiful sigh, kicking a pebble with his shoe. He sees a worm in a lawn which reminds him of himself, he sees a couple shopping for a new game which reminds him of you, he sees a convenience store which reminds him that he’s hungry-

His life can be so mundane sometimes, what a drag.

He’s about to reach his front door, when he steps into a puddle. It feels like an appropriate representation of his life right now. A sense of disgraceful hilarity washes over him, and he begins to laugh. He laughs a while, he laughs as he takes his shoes off, he laughs as he peels his button up down, and he laughs as he lays in his bed. How dramatic he could be some times!

He falls asleep quickly. He has a dream about being on stage and forgetting his lines.

He wakes up with a thud, he fell out of bed. How embarrassing. He decides to check his phone.

Weirdo: RUII

Weirdo: wanna hang w me 2day?? u don’t have dance time right??

Weirdo: gonna kill you. WAKE UP

Me: I’m awake, sorry!

Weirdo: finally sleeping beauty

Weirdo: wanna get a snack? i’m simply starved…

Me: When?

Weirdo: an hr maybe…

Me: Okay :) I’ll tell you when I leave.

Weirdo: kay!!

He really doesn’t feel like being social today, but he’d never pass up an opportunity to see you. He’s an obscene degenerate when it comes to you, pouncing on your attention like a sick dog. It’s mortifyingly pathetic.

He gets dressed, throwing on a boring striped sweater. It’s getting colder outside recently, and he’s always ran cold anyway. His hands are shaky and nervous as he brushes his teeth, the anxiousness to see you making his body jittery. He considers breakfast, but quickly shuts the idea down. He doesn’t want to be stressed out - at least more than he already is - when he sees you. Twitchy hands lock his door, and he gets a few feet away before he double checks that he did, in fact, lock it. Pull yourself together, Rui! He screams at himself.

The walk is just as unexciting as he expected, albeit a bit chilly. He’s feeling thankful for the sweater. The breeze runs its hands through his hair, and he’s reminded that winter is coming. He always liked Autumn flowers the best, hibiscus flowers are pretty too, he supposes. It’s nice to have the warmth of the sun soothing his cold hands during summer, for sure.

He trips over a rock on the way, and his pants get wet on the knees. Khaki blends into an ugly brown, and he sighs. How unlucky, would anything go right for him today?

Turns out it will, you look really good today.

You great him at the door, practically buzzing with eagerness. It makes him smile, knowing that you do, in fact, want to see him. Or at least are acting like it. You’re a good friend to him, he’s lucky to have you.

“Rui!” You hug him as a greeting, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. His heart soothes, eyes closing in relaxation. Problems feel obscure and distant when you two are like this, despite his reluctance last night. He can forget about corrupt feelings - or misguided love- and he can just be your best friend. Despite his apprehension to be cared for, he is flattered that you, at least, seem to like him.

“Hey.” He breaths you in, his voice soft. He hopes you don’t notice, it’s embarrassing.

“Hey!” You reply, pulling away. “Big things planned, Rui!”

“What big things?” He asks, amused. “Big things” for you were junk food and shopping.

“Big things! It’s a surprise!” You put your shoes on, and he can’t help but feel jealous as he watches your hands tie them dutifully. He sighs, stretching. He decides to make it a challenge to act normal the whole day. No weird thoughts are going to beguile his mind, he promises himself.

You lock your front door, twisting the knob to make sure that it did, in fact, lock. This fills him with a child-like sense of delight, maybe you two really were similar.

Nah, not possible. You’re too pure - too perfect. Ugh, Rui, no more stupid thoughts.

He watches you check the time, make a face at a nearby bird, and cover your cheeks with your hands. You suddenly perk up, wrapping your arms around him.

“Warm me up, will ya?” You scowl at the cool air, grip tightening. He gulps. It’s weird he reacts like this, considering you two have done things like this all the time. It’s normal, so why does he have to be such a creep? His arms wrap around yours, running his hands up and down to create heat.

“Should’ve worn a jacket,” he chides, “wouldn’t be cold, y’know?” His voice is so casual, like everything is totally fine. It is fine. Fine, fine, fine.

“Gotta look good. I’m on the hunt, obviously,” you joke. It isn’t funny to him, but he lets out a laugh.

“You’re hopeless.”

You two stop at a convenience store first, and you all but sprint to the drinks. He had this ritual down to a science. You grab two different color slushies, and he grabs whatever odd snack catches your collective stomachs eye today. Today the two of you decide to split a cookie, and walk to the counter. The cashier gives you a smirk, and he averts his eyes.

“This it?” The boy cocks his head, and you get the memo. You immediately jump on the opportunity.

“Mhm!” You wink, resting your chin in your hands while leaning against the counter. In all honestly, he wasn’t even that cute. At least, that’s what Rui kept telling himself.

“Don’t worry about it, than. I got you guys,” he waves you off. Score! You think, but he adds. “If I can get your number.” Rui feels like falling into the floor, how awkward! You just scribble it onto a stray receipt, winking.

“Thank you! You’re the sweetest!!” You singsong, skipping along with Rui following suite. You immediately burst into laughter, throwing a fake punch at Rui. “What a weirdo! Like I’d call him over what, 1000 yen?! I don’t even know him, yuck!”

So you did have some sense, he feels like letting out a sigh of relief. You hold your hands out.

“Which one do you want? I got your favorite!!” You look so proud, and he wants to laugh. His “favorite” isn’t actually his favorite, but he’d never tell you that.

The lie started one day in middle school, when the two of you suddenly had a weird craving for slushies. When you picked them out, you had gotten a red one and a blue one, and asked him what he wanted. While he really didn’t like red, he knew you liked blue, so he said red. Now for the past four years, you’ve always ended up getting him a red one, thinking it was his favorite. He’ll deal with it for you. Seeing your blue tongue stick out with brain freeze is better than any sugary drink anyway.

“Red, duh.” He scoffs playfully, taking a sip of it. The taste doesn’t really bother him all that much anymore. It reminds him of you.

You always let him divide the snacks, thinking he gives himself the bigger half. He never does, but he eats slower so you think he did. You skip along, enjoying it.

“Y’know, this isn’t bad. Wish they had the brownie, though. That never does us wrong.” God, don’t make him think of the ‘crack brownies’ - as you two call them. Those are great, and he likes them, so you never miss an opportunity to shove them down his throat.

“Don’t complain. Remember the egg roll incident?” He points, laughing at the memory. You two steer clear of that section now, having gotten sick.

“Ugh, I haven’t thought about that in a while! I’m never eating an egg roll again after that day! Ugh,” you gag.

Moments of silly memories like this make him feel like he’s known you forever. He can’t even remember a moment where he hasn’t loved you.

“Where’re we going now, commander?” He salutes, following the trail of sunshine you left behind.

“Where ever the wind blows us, kind sir!” You salute back, pushing him along. Your constant checks of your phone don’t go unnoticed by him, and he fights the urge to roll his eyes.

“Who’re you texting? Don’t tell me it’s that guy.” He tries to sound casual, knocking his shoulder against yours playfully.

“‘M not a total idiot, I’ll have you know!” You huff, holding your phone to your chest. “It’s just somebody we went to school with a while back, ‘m seeing if I can pull the moves.”

“Do I know him?”

“Dunno, never saw you two talking, so maybe not. He was in my english class, remember, the only class we didn’t have together?”

“Ah.”

You two walk in silence, except for when he yanks you back from the collar so you don’t walk into oncoming traffic, which amuses you greatly. You two soon arrive at the small mall, and he tails you as you run with excitement. You two browse everything, constantly pointing out cute plushies, or interesting keychains.

“Rui, look! Look!” You shake him, pointing to the back of somebody’s head inconspicuously. “Wait don’t yet- Okay, now! He’s turning around! That’s the guy! What a coincidence we see him here, right? Do you recognize him?”

Ha. Yeah, he knows this guy. He definitely knows him. He’s the one who would trip him during passing periods, he’s the one who left flowers on his desk. They make eye contact, and it’s like all of his growth left his body. He’s just the same freak from middle school, he’s still thirteen.

He shudders at the guys smirk, sensing that he definitely knows that Rui knows him. He jogs over to the two of you, and Rui already knows what’s about to happen, due to the lopsided smile on your face.

Damnit, this is the first time he doesn’t think he can act like it’s okay.

“Oh wow, what a coincidence! Must be fate we run into each other like this, ehe…” You giggle awkwardly, a dumb expression gracing your face. It’s painful seeing you that way for anybody other than him, and he looks away awkwardly.

“Must be.” He answers, swaggering closer towards you. Rui thanks whatever God above because - despite his current situation - at least this asshole didn’t go to highschool with you guys.

He looks down at his shoes, and tries to shuffle away, knowing this jackass is about to say something. He’s quickly stopped.

“Who’s this, huh? Feel like a recognize him from somewhere…” He trails off, smirking through his nose as he turns his attention to him. “Have we met before?”

“This is Kamishiro Rui, he’s my friend! He went to middle school with us, remember?” You happily answer for him.

Ha, friend? What happened to back-up boyfriend? He’s a little hurt, to be honest.

He feels bitter, it’s unbecoming- God, he doesn’t care. He should feel bad for getting so angry over it, it’s not like you belong to him. He’s such a freak, getting attached to you like this.

He starts to pick at his fingers, then he plays with a loose string on his sweater. You two continue to chat like nothings wrong, and he keeps thinking. It’s something he’s gotten good at recently.

He stops feeling bad about himself for a second- a split second where he resents you, and wishes his pain upon you. Wants you to know what it’s like to be so disgustingly, guiltily, revoltingly obsessed with someone. In this split second, he can’t even find it in himself to feel guilty about it, which is unlike him. He wishes you felt love like this, that you were as psychotic about it.

But this doesn’t last long, because he remembers that he loves you more than anything. He’s lucky to be your friend. You’re a great friend, you’re an amazing person, you’re the sun, the sun, the sun.

He’s the pavement, he has to remember.

“I’m- I’ll leave you to it, y’know? Fabric store.” He stutters, choking on his voice. You don’t even notice, waving him off.

You do, however, remember to press his shoulder, uttering an absentminded “Okay, Rui, bye,” and he remembers again how perfect you are for doing it subconsciously. He lets himself feel the touch, long after he’s walked away. He deserves it after the trouble he’s reliving.

When he makes it to the fabric store - which he really didn’t need anything from, Nene had gotten some the other day - he can’t help himself from wishing he could just go home. Malls were always overwhelming already, and now his saving grace has the attention of another man. He walks through aisles, but realizes that he now has to buy something.

‘Least he knows that social cue, he laughs bitterly, running his hands across his face in frustration. He’s so ridiculous.

Meanwhile, you were chatting up a storm. It was your first time talking in person since middle school, after all! You feel giddy for a while, but it cuts abruptly. You feel a strange sense of urgency, something’s missing.

Oh, your best friend.

But where had he gone? You’re sure he was just here. You smile apologetically at the cute boy, putting on your best performance.

“Oh, I better go get my friend now. I don’t like walking home when it’s late. Was nice seein’ you, let’s hang out soon, ‘kay?” You singsong, stepping closer. You want to give yourself a pat on the back, you’re so cute.

He rolls his eyes, and you’re hit with a wave of uneasiness. That noise he made sounds strangely dismissive, he’s not the kind of guy to be a jerk though, you must be hearing things-

“Leave ‘im. Between you and me, he was a total freak in middle school. Probably is now, too. Probably likes you or somethin’, total nutcase.” His voice sounds so casual, like it’s not the douchiest thing you’ve heard all day.

You let other men walk all over you, sure. You let them cheat on you, lie, whatever. But you’re not about to stand here and insult Rui. He’s the only untouched thing in your life - the only person who isn’t cruel. He’s so gangly and awkward, but in the best way. You could live a million times and not be able to deserve him, at least you think so. He’s so unusual, and that’s what you love most about him. Little things like not liking loud lights, or liking the red slushies the best, make your heart buzzy with familiarity. He’s the one constant in your life.

You’ve been awfully worried about him recently, though. His particularly (as you like to call it) has gone to the an extreme, and it’s been a battle getting him to eat real food. You’re not blind, you see the way he’s been spacing out, or tapping a little too much. You just thought he’d been overwhelmed. He worries you to death sometimes, but despite all of his own struggles, he always seems to not care about it, deciding to always be there for you instead. Ah, he’s just such an amazing guy - no, not guy, he’s not anything like those other boys you talk to. He’d never insult someone like that. He’s not just a guy, he’s like your person.

Yeah, he’s definitely your person.

Your heart sputters at the thought, and you feel something you’ve never really felt before - save for hugs between the two of you that lasted just a second too long, or words a little too romantic. The feeling makes your mind fuzzy, and your heart hurt terribly with something you could only place as homesickness.

Oh.

“I,” you begin, backing away. “Yeah, I’m sorry but I’ll really be going now-“

“What? C’mon I was just messing with you, even though having guy friend’s kinda weird.” He rolls his eyes.

“Yeah whatever, I’ll call you back,” you say dismissively.

You’re totally lying, you laugh, you’re not calling him back.

He didn’t seem to like that.

“Damn, can’t even joke around with you people. Whatever, weirdo, sorry I insulted your little boyfriend.” The change in tone amuses you.

Yeah, good riddance, pal.

You turn away, walking through the mall with pace. It takes a while, but you spot him watching a pet stores aquarium.

He’s a funny one.

You wave your hands, trying to get his attention. He swallows, knowing that it’s probably to ask him if it’s cool to walk home by himself. Emotions are stupid, and ironically, you both think that at the same time.

“Rui! Rui! Hey c’mon, let’s go home, yeah?” You smile, face feeling warm. It’s a different feeling from when you usually talk to him. He looks at you, a little shocked. He had assumed you were smiling wide because you set up a date, so he turns his head.

“Where is he, huh?” He looks away, back to the fish tank. You shift in place, was he mad at you? You’re a little irritated at the mention of the guy, though, and huff.

“Don’t worry about that. Seems like I only attract douchebags, so I decided to go.” You explain, poking his shoulder. “Hey,” you start, “let’s just walk home, I wanna talk to you about something.” The idea makes you feel dizzy, but you’ll have to illustrate your feelings one day.

You can leave out the “I think I’m in love with you” part, you think.

The two of you walk in an excruciating silence, staring down at the reflection of the setting sun in the puddles. His heart tightens, remembering his earlier comparison. Even now, you’re so perfect. Even if he’s frustrated with you - despite you turning down the guy in the end (he doesn’t know why, he wanted to ask) - even if he’s ready to scream, and cry, and ask you what it is he did for you to be so turned off by him, he still thinks you’re the most heavenly, divine person to ever grace his view. He wants to be where you see him, he wants to be in your orbit.

“You’re like the sun-“ He blurts out, immediately regretting it. He didn’t mean to say that, God, he’s so fucking stupid. He sees you stop walking, smiling that same stupid, dopey, lopsided smile that he’s always so jealous of-

Oh. It’s for him.

He chokes, stopping to meet you eye-to-eye. You look up at him too, laughing giddily.

“What does that mean?”

He sputters, stepping away. “N-no it’s nothing- It was stupid anyway so-“

“No, tell me!” You urge, laughing a little harder. “What if it was something bad, ‘nd you were making fun of me? That’s not nice, Rui!”

“I- Hey-“ His voice goes a touch higher, a defensive tone rising. “That’s not-“

“Then tell me.”

“It’s just,” he breaths, trying to word it in the least creepy way possible. How does convey the fact that he sees you as a divine presence, that he sees himself as a worthless creature compared to you, without sounding like he’s hopelessly possessed by love for you? “I just- you’re so amazing,” he starts, “I thought of this stupid thing the other day when I was walking home - you know how I am - and well, I just thought of you when the sun reflected off the pavement - since it rained, y’know? - and well, it just- Sorry, it was dumb-“ He rambles, covering his face in anguish.

Nobody’s ever put that much thought into you. Sure, you’ve received a few ‘You’re so gorgeous’’s, where you’ve had to wonder where they learnt such a “big word”, but never something as poetic as that. The usual Rui-ratic explanation endeared you to him even more. You look at him, the smile never leaving. He’s just… so Rui. His stupid striped sweater, his half up hair - that you’d begged him to grow out - his eyes, whatever. Everything about him you treasure, and little do you know he cherished you even that more intensely.

“I think you’re the moon, Rui. Or maybe the earth, since I take care of you, hah!” You snicker, stepping closer to him. He takes a step back in return, and you grab his hands to make him stay put. His heart throbs, and he almost goes crashing down.

“I.. I don’t-“

You yank his hands, making him look back up at you. “Hey, Rui, I,” you look at him assuringly, “I wanna say something, and you can’t laugh okay?”

He holds his breath, so do you.

Fuck it, just tell him.

“I think I’m in love with you, Rui.” You gaze at him, the words shooting out faster than you can second guess them.

“I don’t-“ He breaks away, his fists balling up. You messed up, you think, you really, really messed up. “I’m not- I’m not going to- You can’t just say that because you got rejected. I- It wouldn’t be nice to- You don’t love me-“

“Rui,” you beg, grabbing his arm again, “holding hands on the way to school, cuddling while doing homework, knowing everything about eachother, these aren’t-“ You breath, “I’ve wanted somebody to love me for so long, Rui, and I was so blind to the fact that I was loved. But the love that I felt for you, - that I feel for you - Rui, isn’t the kind where I can be- where I can just be so- so normal about those things!” You monologue, saying whatever’s on your mind. You’re the rambling one now.

“I found myself comparing you to these piece-of-garbage dude’s I’m always with, wishing I could just date somebody like you instead! But now I realize that it is you-“

His heart falls into his gut, and he breaks free from you again. His hands move to his face, covering his eyes. His voice is broken and cracky as he begins to cry. “That was- you-“ He pulls you into a desperate embrace, arms holding you like you’ll disappear. “You shouldn’t, you’re wrong.” He sobs, “I’m- the way I love you is- You don’t understand, the way I feel isn’t normal I- My love is disgusting, and horrible, and depraved-“ He shakes, you rub his back. “You are so perfect compared to me, I’d never be able to- I love you so much, more than friends are supposed to, more than anyone’s supposed to at our age-“

“Rui, hey Rui please don’t cry.” You beg, smoothing out the ridges in his sweater. “I don’t- I don’t agree with that, and I can scream that at you, but I’m sure you won’t believe me. You’re not disgusting for feeling emotions different, Rui that’s what I love about you.”

“Stop- stop saying my name like that. It’s too hard to-“

“Rui, I love you. You don’t need to accept it, but I love you. More than being in love, more than being loved-“

“I love you, too,” his voice cracks, “that’s why I’m so scared. I don’t want to ruin a friendship that’s all I have, if this is just- I’m scared I’d lose you in any way, and I can’t live in a world where you don’t see me. I won’t. It’s sounds horrible but-“ He stops as you pull away from the hug, and wipes his face hastily. You put your pinky out, and his stomach drops again.

“C’mon, just like when we were kids. Pinky promise that no matter what, we’ll always see each other. That way you don’t need to worry anymore, y’know? I never break my kissy pinky promises, ever.”

Just like when you two were little.

He locks his with yours, just like you taught him all those years ago. He remembers your shared handshake for theater, he remembers your shared handshake for testing, and he remembers the song you two had to duet for choir - when you have forced him into it for a year. He holds everything of you so dear to his heart, you endear everything about him to you as well.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“I see you.”

“I see you, too.”

You two kiss your hands, then bring them down, still interlinked. You stare at him, and he stares back at you. In a moment of profound sincerity, you lean forward, and kiss him. It’s slow and gentle, and you unlock your hands half way through to hold his face, which he mirrors. His heart settles for the first time. You see him. He’s your moon, your earth, you’re his sun, his stars.

He’s suddenly alarmed by a quick pushing off of him, gasping out a “Rui!”

“I-“ he pants, wiping his mouth. “Hm?”

“we’re in the middle of a park!”

[iamtired10]

can't get enough

pairing - (girlfriend) kim minji x female reader

synopsis - your girlfriend minji is obsessed with kissing you—seriously, it's on another level. she'll do anything just to steal a kiss or two (or ten).

genre - fluff, suggestive, nothing explicit

warnings - kisses, more kisses, and even more kisses. minji is incredibly needy. and yes, it might be a little cringy, but also cute (ig?). oh and did i mention more kisses?

word count - 564 ( very short): )

living with minji had its perks, but there were also challenges—most of which revolved around her being, well, clingy. not the annoying kind, though. she wasn’t smothering you 24/7; no, she just really, really liked being close to you.

especially when it came to kisses.

and this morning was no different.

you were still half-asleep, struggling to open your eyes when you felt the bed shift beside you. a soft weight settled against your side, and you could feel her—kim minji, your overly affectionate girlfriend—scooting closer.

“morning, my sweetest jagi,” her voice was soft, barely a whisper, as her lips found your cheek.

she pecked it once, then again, and then for a third time, as if just one wasn’t enough.

“minji,” you groaned, your voice thick with sleep, “it’s too early for this.”

“no, it’s not,” she mumbled against your skin, moving her kisses from your cheek to your jawline. “you haven’t kissed me back yet.”

“that’s because i’m still sleeping.”

“you can sleep and kiss me at the same time. multitask, babe,” she joked, pulling back only to press a lingering kiss to your lips.

you couldn’t help but smile despite yourself, eyes still closed.

this was minji in the mornings—needy, clingy, and relentless in her pursuit of affection.

she didn’t mind if you were tired, grumpy, or even annoyed. she’d get her kisses one way or another.

“come on, babe,” she nudged, poking your side gently. “just one proper kiss, and i’ll let you go back to sleep.”

you peeked an eye open, sighing dramatically. “you said that last time, and then i got five more kisses after the 'just one.'”

minji pouted, her bottom lip sticking out adorably. “okay, but this time i promise. just one. please?"

her pleading eyes and pouty face were impossible to resist.

with a groan, you shifted to face her properly, pulling her closer by the waist. she smiled triumphantly as you pressed your lips to hers, a soft, slow kiss that had her melting into your embrace.

but as expected, the kiss lasted longer than it should have.

before you could pull away, she cupped your face, deepening it, and you could feel her smiling against your lips.

“minji," you managed to murmur between kisses, “you said one.”

she giggled softly. “i lied. sue me.”

you couldn’t even pretend to be mad. it was always like this with her—minji loved kissing you like it was her life’s purpose, and you, though often playing the grumpy one, secretly enjoyed it just as much.

you’d never admit that, of course, but she probably already knew.

pulling back, minji gave you a satisfied grin, her forehead resting against yours. “there. now you can sleep.”

“finally,” you muttered, though you made no effort to move away from her. instead, you stayed exactly where you were, arms loosely wrapped around her waist, as she snuggled closer.

it was peaceful for about five minutes. you were just beginning to drift off again when you felt her shift against you.

“what now?” you asked, keeping your eyes closed.

she was quiet for a moment before whispering,

“I think I need one more.”

sighs... classic minji, always begging for one more kiss. you wouldn’t have it any other way. she’s your minji, and if she needs a hundred kisses a day, you’re all in.

a hundred more? no problem.

a/n: sorry for being inactive, y'all. this was one of my drafts, so i decided to post it even though it’s cringe. don’t mind me, i thought it might be a little distraction from everything going on rn. sigh* stay strong, bunnies! we can do it! (pray for me i feel like i’m dying rn.)

[lil-binuu]

it’s time for an update!! ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜

over the past few months i’ve been writing many drafts to try and write something that i feel satisfied with, but to be honest i’ve been finding it quite difficult and i think it’s because i’ve been doubting my ability a lot.

please trust that i’m trying and no i haven’t forgotten about the requests i got months ago, nor the multiple series that i haven’t finished! (not to mention how many drawings i’ve started and haven’t touched again 😭😭😭)

i just wanted to say thank you so so much to everyone who has stuck by me through my struggles, it means the world to me and i appreciate you all so much!!

trust your girl is getting there, been through the burn out and i’m out the other side!

while i wish that i could be as consistent and active as i once was, i’m going to try my best but i know that real life takes priority (especially school)

not to mention i’m quite affected by the winter rn 😓 hopefully things are starting to get brighter!!

and i want to mention that i’m really thankful for everyone who reached out to me!! i love you guys so much! <3333

also if anyone is going through it like i have, it comes to an end, even though it feels like forever, and it doesn’t define you or dictate your strength/weakness. i’m here for you with so many others too <3

i don’t wanna make promises but i thought i owe y’all at least an update after this long of being inactive or not posting 😭🙏

i think we’ve all been on a bit of a rollercoaster but hey at least we’ve got each other! i’m so proud of everyone for hanging in there bcs honestly sometimes even just holding on and staying through it is difficult

y’all know how much i love you but i genuinely can’t say it enough!! 💋💋💋💋💋

feel free to msg me or anything, i’m so happy to chat with you guys and i really hope y’all are doing okay and i wish you the best of luck with everything! sending so much love!!

~ binu ᝰ.ᐟ

💕

@xzhdjsj @belladonnadawn @meraki-kiera @peppymintdreams @xxminxrq @dollsprincesa @xxluneilaxxaus @penelopesbaby @shelllyy @mitsukitsume

@yoursinisforgiven @fleurina11111 @skrunklebink @beeblelady @souvlia @rain-soaked-sun @aestheticpearl

(sorry for tagging y’all if you didn’t wanna be tagged btw)

[withering-bloom]

Marks of devotion

_______________________________________________

Hi guys :3 I’m so sorry for being inactive. I’ve been so swamped with work that I haven’t had any time to write, but I’ve managed to do this short Drabble fanfic (??) whatever you want to call it. I’ll be answering your asks tmr if I can. THANK YOU THOUGH I GENUINELY LOVE EVERYONE WHO REACHED OUT!!! <3333

Arlecchino x reader, kinda suggestive but not rly ??, not proof read 🙁😞

_________________________________

The 10th Harbinger, ‘The Knave,’ is merely a title, but among those who serve under her, she’s earned another name—‘The Untamed Flame.’ It’s not a label she claims for herself, but one born from the fierce, unrelenting intensity she burdens, a fire that cuts through lies and masks. On the surface, Arlecchino seems cold and untouchable, every move deliberate, every word calculated. There’s a certain elegance to her, from the way she carries herself to the sharp edge in her voice, and her striking features only add to her intimidating presence.

Arlecchino is meticulous about her appearance. Every piece of her outfit is chosen with purpose, and her preference for sharp, bold aesthetics reflects her person. But among all her carefully curated accessories, it’s the scarlet hue of her lipstick that stands out the most—a crimson slash against the pale, calculated canvas of her face. You once teased her, calling it her weapon of choice. She smirked and replied, “Maybe it is. After all, power has its allure, doesn’t it?”

And oh, how she uses it.

In private, Arlecchino’s affection is rare and fierce, but undeniably possessive. When you’re alone, she takes the time to indulge her softer side—a side only you get to see. Her lips press against the skin of your chest, her kisses slow and deliberate, leaving bold red marks against your neck, your cheek, and sometimes even your lips. “Perfect,” she murmurs, pulling back to admire her handiwork. “Now everyone will know who you belong to.” Making sure the marks adorned on your skin can’t be covered up by a simple jacket or scarf.

You’d swear she does it on purpose before meetings—the faint stains placed on your body can be seen by everyone. She’s pleased with herself, reveling in the reactions of lower ranked colleagues and acquaintances who take notice of the red marks scattered across your skin. And you can’t deny the way her eyes light up with quiet satisfaction when she sees you flush and tug at your collar.

Her love for lipsticks isn’t just an indulgence; it’s a ritual. She has drawers of them, each shade meticulously organized. Her favorite? The deep crimson she knows you can’t resist. Oh how she loves to watch you struggle and whine in the early mornings before you go to work, watching you complain how cruel she is that the lipstick won’t come off of your skin no matter how hard you rub the damp towel against yourself.As compensation, every so often, she drags you along to the markets or elegant boutiques, holding up different shades to your face with an almost childlike curiosity. “What do you think of this one?” she’ll ask, as if her choice wasn’t already final, wanting your opinion nonetheless.

She pretends she’s indifferent to your approval, but the faint quirk of her lips when you compliment her choice tells you otherwise.

You’re hers, after all. And each red kiss she leaves on your skin is a reminder of that.

——————————————————————————-

Bro this is so shut I’m sorry 😞 BUT ILL TAKE YOUR SUGGESTIONS WITH MY WRITING AND TY ONCE AGAIN FOR YOUR FEEDBACK!!! :3333

[a-court-of-lust-and-stardust]

Love on Ice Chapter 22: The Cupcakes and the Countertop

Sorry for being a bit inactive, but we are BACK!!!! Please read the previous chapter "The Confessions" that way you're all caught up :) And I hope you enjoy smut because uh...there's a little bit in this ;)

12 Days before Competition

The following morning, Elain hadn’t woken to warm bed sheets, arms slung around her waist, or even soft snores, much to her dismay. No, it was the sound of clattering in the kitchen that jolted her out of her otherwise peaceful slumber. 

She didn’t even attempt to pull on a pair of pants under her oversized shirt before darting out to the kitchen, hair as wild as her panicked eyes. Those eyes, after momentarily adjusting to the bright kitchen light, settled on her countertop, where baking supplies littered the marble. 

She blinked.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Azriel winced, holding up her pink mixing bowl. “I wanted to make sure everything was purchased and set out for when you were ready to start the cupcakes.” 

Elain blinked again. And then she scanned the counter. “You…got the ingredients for me?” 

A hand went to rub the back of his neck sheepishly. It was such an adoring sight, Azriel being nervous. She didn't think it happened often. “Well…yeah. You rattled them off last night and I went this morning to grab them because I didn’t want you to worry about it. Plus, you looked peaceful and I didn’t have it in my heart to wake you.” 

Elain’s heart thundered beneath her ribs. She stared and stared at him until her feet propelled her forward. In the back of her mind, she hoped Azriel wasn’t the kind of man to care about unbrushed teeth. She pressed her lips to his before he could protest. 

By the way he kissed her back, she realized he didn’t mind one bit. 

“Thank you,” Elain breathed, pecking his mouth once more. “You didn’t have to do that for me.” 

He shrugged, squeezing her hip. “I wanted to. And I want to help you make them, too. Unless you prefer to work on them by yourself, then I will gladly be silent and only speak when it’s time to taste test them.”

Elain grinned. He truly was serious when he’d said he wanted to support her hobbies. And the idea of bossing him around in the kitchen was enticing, too. She chuckled at the thought. 

Of course, Azriel was a fast learner, which didn’t shock Elain one bit. After she’d taken a few moments to brush her hair, teeth, and tie her apron around her waist, she rejoined him in the kitchen, unable to hold back a laugh when she noticed him struggling to secure one of the extra aprons around his midsection. 

He listened attentively when she explained the proper measurements and which appliances to use for each step. At one point, he had almost added too much vanilla extract when he wasn’t paying attention, enthralled by the way Elain’s face was glowing as she spoke about how she came to love baking, and how the process was never tedious for her. It was something she took pride in, something she was good at despite her Mama’s disapproval. Something beautiful and tasty came from such a mess, she’d said to him, beaming brightly. He’d kissed her sweetly on her brow.

As the cupcakes cooled, they flip-flopped between cleaning dishes and dirtying new ones with their breakfast assortment of omelets, sausage patties, and bowls of fruit. Azriel was sure to pull Elain into his lap, alternating between giving himself a bite and feeding her pieces of food. She’d protested at first, but giving into him was so easy when he flashed her a hard, expectant look. This was just the beginning of being taken care of. So she indulged him and every so often pressed sticky, fruity kisses on his mouth as he doted on her.

Now, dishes cleaned, stowed away, and aprons discarded, they stood at the counter and prepared to finish the final step. Small tubs of chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry icing sat next to the two dozen cooled cupcakes.  

Azriel tried, he really did, but he couldn’t quite ice the cupcakes as well as Elain could. So he opted to stand behind her, caging her against the counter, as she expertly spread the finishing touches onto the treats.

“I love this,” He whispered, chin resting against her shoulder. Content to simply observe. “Watching you do what you love. Seeing you so carefree and happy.” 

Elain smeared chocolate frosting onto a cooled cupcake, blushing when Azriel’s soft breath caressed her cheek. Instinctively, she leaned back against his chest. “This was my first love, even before skating,” Elain explained. “I never really had to practice. Baking came so naturally to me. It was a way to express my creativity, too, seeing what kinds of recipes I could replicate, or even perhaps make better. More unique.” 

“It seems like you excel at whatever you put your mind to,” Azriel acknowledged, dusting a kiss on her jaw. “My beautiful, talented woman.” 

Elain’s cheeks flamed. “You know…just because we’re together now doesn’t mean you have to compliment me everyday.”

Azriel huffed, nipping her skin. “That’s exactly what it means. And sweetheart, it’s not have to, it’s want to. If I don’t tell you how incredible you are at least twenty times a day, I’ll consider that a failure on my end.” And then he said a bit softer, hope dripping from his voice. “Is that what we are? Together?”

Caged in between his arms and the counter, Elain craned her head as best as she could to look at him. Brown eyes glittered as she affirmed, “Yes. Yes, we are.” 

“Officially?” 

Elain grinned, dipping her chin. 

“And I can kiss you anytime I want?” 

“You better.” 

“And I can take you out and bring you flowers and hold your hand in public?” 

“If you didn’t, I’d be disappointed.” Her laugh was full of unfiltered joy. 

And because he was a sucker for the way a pink blush crawled up her cheeks whenever he was a little bit filthy, he brushed his nose against her jaw and whispered, “And does this mean I can touch you and taste you and fuck you in all the ways I know you’re aching for?” 

Elain almost argued that he was the one aching, evident by the hard outline of his cock now pressing against her ass. And because he’d toyed with her a few times before and it was her turn to get him back, she pressed her backside further against him and murmured, “Only if you beg for it.”

To her utter delight, Azriel whimpered against her neck. “I’m not above pleading, baby. If that’s what you want, that’s what you’ll get.” 

Interesting …she tucked that tidbit of information away for later. 

But Elain found herself still wanting to…play with him. It was a new and exciting feeling, and as inexperienced as she was, she’d picked up some tips and tricks from her sisters over the years. Plus, Elain’s eyes may have wandered over certain passages in Nesta’s books a time or two. And, there were times she’d done her own…research. So she certainly wasn't clueless, not by any means. Even if up until this point she’d never been in a committed relationship, nor had any sexual encounters, she was somewhat confident that she knew what she was doing. But of course, she’d never turn down the opportunity to be guided, either. 

In one quick motion, Elain dipped her finger into the vanilla icing, spun in Azriel’s arms, and smeared it along the curve of his jaw. 

Azriel blinked, stunned, before his eyes darkened at the challenge in Elain’s face, the way her brow cocked as if to say I dare you. Two could play at this game, but only one would win. After all, he wasn’t the most competitive of his brothers for nothing. 

Faster than Elain could process, strawberry frosting coated her plump bottom lip. Her eyes narrowed at his victorious smirk. “What? Didn’t think I’d play along?” 

Oh no, she did. 

And he took the bait perfectly.

Snatching the tub of vanilla, Elain again dipped her finger into the sticky icing and dragged it along the side of his neck before marking the other side. “The opposite,” Elain breathed, relishing in the way his pulse fluttered beneath her fingertips. “I was hoping you would.” 

Azriel reached for the strawberry and chocolate tubs, balancing both in the palm of his hand. When his eyes fell upon his target, he smeared a thick line of chocolate across her throat. And then, for good measure, dipped his finger in the strawberry frosting and painted her pretty cheeks. 

Determined to stand her ground and not falter under the heat in Azriel’s gaze, she scooped a heap of rich vanilla onto two fingers and ran them across his forehead, cheeks, chin, and nose. Elain grinned triumphantly, only for her mouth to fall in shock as chocolate frosting was spread over her own forehead. And because he was a menace, Azriel dotted pink icing right on the tip of her nose. 

Standing in the kitchen with minimal space between them and sticky icing in places it shouldn’t be, Elain had never been so turned on in all her life. By the thick tent in Azriel’s sweatpants, she knew the feeling was mutual.

“Looks like we’ve run out of space,” Azriel rasped, eyes flicking between them. Elain swallowed as she watched him deftly pull his shirt over his head with one hand, letting it fall to the ground. Black ink swirled and twisted over his tan skin, and her mouth watered at the sight. He was big and glorious and hers.  

All shyness that she may have felt before today evaporated. She was so comfortable around him, and something about his effortless confidence made Elain want to be bold. 

Briefly setting aside the icing container, she reached for the hem of her oversized tee. She reveled in the way Azriel’s eyes widened, especially because he knew she was completely bare under the shirt. 

Lip pulled between her teeth, Elain peeled the shirt off her body, not watching as it fluttered to the floor. Her gaze remained locked on a pair of eyes that were once warm hazel, now completely swallowed black with desire. “Not anymore,” Elain assured, watching as he fought to remain respectful. A teasing lilt entered her voice as she permitted, “You can look, you know.”

Az didn’t need to be told twice. Dark eyes greedily drank in every inch of her skin, the places he’d dreamt about kissing and licking and touching. His gaze never stayed in one place because there were so many parts of her body that were teasing and tempting. 

Her smooth legs. 

The supple curve of an ass that was begging to be slapped. 

A soft stomach. 

Pink, perky nipples that ached for his mouth. 

A thatch of golden curls right above the place he desired to bury his tongue. 

This woman, his woman, was a vision of unparalleled beauty. A gift he might not have been worthy of receiving, but one he would cherish, protect, worship, and love until his dying breath. 

Azriel closed the gap between them, setting aside the containers of icing before diving for Elain’s frosting covered lips. Her mouth opened to let him in, to explore and take what was his, and if the only two things he could ever taste again were strawberries and Elain, Azriel would not be found complaining. 

“Look at you,” Az mumbled against her lips, tongue darting out to swipe at the last remnant of icing. “Undeniably the most beautiful fucking thing I’ve ever seen.” 

Warmth spread across Elain’s cheeks. She’d known she was at least pretty, but the way Azriel looked at her, spoke of her beauty, had made her believe she was truly exquisite. Both inside and out.

“That’s quite the compliment,” She breathed, craning her head to lick the frosting from his jaw, his cheeks. His knuckles whitened as they gripped the counter behind her. “I find you incredibly beautiful too, Az. I always have.” 

“Elain… ” Her name was rough through his teeth, thanks to the way her tongue was now gliding over his neck to collect the vanilla frosting. The little minx even bit down softly on his flesh. His cock twitched. “Sweetheart …”

“What do you want, Az?” Elain asked, tenderly dragging a hand through his dark waves. “Hm? Tell me.” 

“I want to touch you, or t-taste you. Fuck,” He groaned out, fingers flexing and unflexing in an attempt to control his need. “Somewhere, anywhere. But I want you to show me where.”

She could do that. 

She could definitely do that.

With a hand against his abdomen, Elain forced him back only a step before grabbing the frosting container once more. Chest constricting, Azriel watched as Elain gathered the pink icing on her finger. Without tearing her eyes from his smoldering gaze, Elain circled the frosting around both of her peaked nipples. 

Azriel swallowed thickly, and Elain could see the veins in his neck bulging as he awaited her consent. And when she gave it, a soft, buttery, “Touch me” , ringing through the air, Azriel lurched forward and lifted Elain onto the counter. Her initial squeal melted into a gentle moan as his palm came up to cup her breast, thumb flicking over her nipple and spreading the frosting further along her skin. 

“Az… ” 

He felt Elain’s shudder when his lips attached to her other nipple. He sucked and bit and licked at her breast while his hand massaged the other, tongue and fingers working in perfect tandem. Gentle whimpers fell from Elain’s mouth, and the hand that was cupping the back of his neck pushed him further into her chest.

“More,” She whined, begged even. It sounded so pretty. “I need more. S-something else, please.” 

“Show me, baby,” Azriel coaxed, tongue laving over the sweet frosting smeared across her breast. Elain yelped when his teeth tugged at her nipple, a bolt of pleasure shooting straight down to her core. “Show me where you need me.” 

In a swift motion, Elain scooped icing on her index finger, drawing an arrow down the center of her stomach, ending just before the golden hair between her thighs. 

“Here,” Elain pleaded, wrapping her hand around Azriel’s wrist, bringing his fingers that weren’t coated in icing toward her. “I want you to touch me here.” 

There was a brief moment where Azriel assumed he was dreaming. 

But not even a dream could conjure up the image before him. 

Elain, seated on the edge of the counter, body painted in streaks and swirls of sweet frosting. Wild brown eyes, a hot flush on her neck, legs open and inviting, and his palm cupping her most sensitive flesh. 

He could feel the heat emanating from her, could feel the desire pooling as he tauntingly dragged one finger up the center of her cunt. Elain’s hips jerked forward, hand darting out to clutch his bicep for support. 

“Easy, baby,” A roguish grin spread across Azriel’s face. Lazily, he repeated the same motion, circling her clit with the tip of his finger. His cock twitched as Elain’s head fell back, pushing her tits closer to his face. “That feels good, doesn’t it?”

Elain nodded, unable to string together a coherent sentence. Which was fine with Azriel, personally, because her moans were well and truly enough. 

“No one’s ever played with this sweet pussy before, have they?” He asked, although he already knew the answer. He was the first person to ever have the privilege of touching her cunt, and fuck, he’d do anything to make sure he was the last. 

“You like it like this? Slow and sweet?” Even with simple featherlight touches, her body was highly responsive. He wondered if she could give him more. The idea crossed his mind just as his finger applied more pressure. “Or do you like it a bit harder? Faster?” 

To Azriel’s delight, Elain began to grind against his finger. A groan rumbled through his chest at the way her clit rubbed against the rough ridges of his scarred skin. “Azriel– oh –please… ” 

“Or,” He mused, gripping her chin with his free hand. He wanted to watch her fall apart. “Perhaps you like this better?” Two of his fingers effortlessly sunk into her pussy, and god Azriel wished he could have bottled up the sound that had fallen past her lips.

“Fuck –so good,” Elain was panting, refusing to be embarrassed by the evident shlick, shlick, shlick sound everytime his fingers fucked into her. It only spurred her on, turning the movement of her hips that much more desperate for his touch. 

“Atta girl, Elain,” Azriel praised, keeping the same steady pace before flicking her clit with his thumb. “Ride my fingers, baby. Keep going–keep going– good girl.” 

“Az,” Elain’s whine shot straight to his cock, and he could feel himself leaking into his sweatpants like a fucking teenager, but goddamn her moans were music to his ears. “I think I–I’m–gonna–.” 

“I know, sweetheart, I know.” He finished for her, dusting a kiss across her lips as his fingers kept pumping into her warm cunt. She felt incredible on his fingers. He could only imagine how good her pussy would feel squeezing around his cock, sucking him in until he filled her completely. “I want you to let go, okay? It’ll feel so good, baby. I promise.” 

Eagerly bobbing her head, Elain continued to frantically move her hips as his thumb toyed with her clit. Her pussy clenched around his fingers, those beautifully scarred fingers that were just the right amount of rough. 

“Az, I’m cum–.” But Elain wasn’t provided the opportunity to finish her sentence. When Azriel’s teeth bit down on her neck, Elain’s orgasm rocked through her body hard enough that she was forced to grip his shoulder. His fingers pumped her through the shockwaves, thumb gently grazing her clit until she was pulling his hand off her body. 

A hand that was shiny and drenched in her arousal. 

“Fucking beautiful,” Azriel breathed, bringing his fingers to Elain’s lips. This was all new territory for her, he remembered. Was this too far? He hoped not, but he’d soon find out. With an encouraging nod of his head, Azriel suggested gruffly, “How about you taste yourself, baby? Tell me how sweet you are.” 

And Elain, his Elain, was very sweet indeed. In more ways than one.

She opened her mouth willingly, and Azriel slid two fingers against her tongue, watching intently as she gripped his wrist and licked her cum from his fingers. His cock throbbed at the sight.

The arousal dribbled from his hand onto hers, and Elain let out a soft “Your turn,” and presented her finger to his lips, brown eyes hazy. 

But Azriel shook his head even as every instinct screamed at him to wrap his lips around her finger. “That’s not how I want to taste you, sweetheart.” 

Elain frowned, hand dropping to the marble counter as she considered. 

But then her pulse quickened when Azriel sank to his knees, hands caressing either side of her legs before spreading them open. He outwardly groaned at the sight of arousal clinging to her cunt.

After tenderly kissing the skin of her inner thighs, Azriel gazed upward at the goddess before him. “I’m going to eat your pussy, Elain.” He pressed a kiss to her clit. “And you’re going to watch me.”

Dazed, head spinning, and cunt throbbing in anticipation, all Elain could do was wait for him to bury his face between her thighs.  

Azriel nipped her skin once, and then proclaimed self assuredly, “And you might want to hold onto something.” 

The first stroke of his tongue drew Elain’s hand to his hair, fingers twisting in the disheveled waves. “Oh!”  

A chuckle against her pussy had her stomach fluttering. With a hand gripping the counter and the other buried in Azriel’s hair, Elain could do nothing except watch the way his tongue lapped eagerly at her cunt. She moaned when he sent a wink her way.   

Fire spread beneath her skin as he feasted like a man starved of his most favorite delicacy. Jolts of pleasure shot through her body each time he sucked her clit between his lips. Elain’s thighs had a mind of their own, closing around Azriel’s head when it became too much to bear. And yet without missing a beat, he forced her legs wider apart at the same time he thrust his tongue into her pulsing hole. 

“Az …” 

“I’ll never get tired of hearing you moan my name,” Azriel confirmed, using only the tip of his tongue to flick her clit. Her fingers tugged harder at his hair, sending a shockwave straight down to his cock. “And I sure as shit will never get tired of this pretty pussy."

“Don’t stop,” Elain panted, rocking her hips against his face as best she could. If that was inappropriate, she didn’t care. Her focus was entirely on the warmth in her stomach, the tether ready to snap. “Please, please do not stop.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it baby,” Azriel groaned, tongue sliding between her pussy lips to collect every drop of arousal. He wanted her gasping for breath, completely fucking ravished. “I want you to come on my tongue. Can you do that for me, sweetheart? Can you be a good girl f’me?”

Elain whined, nodding eagerly just to show how good she could be for him. She’d do anything he fucking wanted as long as he continued to speak to her in that soft, breathy tone.

Azriel kissed her clit once, twice, before diving back in to fuck her with his tongue. Elain cried out, legs shaking involuntarily as she pushed his face as far into her cunt as she could. She rode his tongue feverishly, unoccupied hand slamming down into a container of icing when Azriel’s teeth gently scraped her clit. 

“So good, so good, so good ….”

“That’s it, Elain,” Azriel praised, savoring the taste of her on his tongue. He’d lick her cunt every single day if that’s what she wanted. “Use me. Ride my face. Take what’s yours.” 

For the second time that morning, she came with a long, drawn out moan of his name. The sound seemed to wrap around his cock and tug, because before he could try and stop it, Azriel was spurting into his pants.

Above him, Elain’s chest heaved, and fuck if he didn’t want to wrap his lips around those perfect, rosy nipples one more time just to prolong her pleasure. On slightly cramped legs, Azriel stood, bending his neck to press two gentle kisses on her tits before cradling her face in his hands. 

“You did so good, baby. Fuck, you’re perfect, Elain.” Azriel had half a mind to pinch himself. He couldn’t believe this was his life. Weeks ago, he never thought he’d have the chance to even be Elain’s friend. Now, he was her companion. Her protector. Her lover. Her safe haven. Her partner. 

Elain swallowed, pressing her brow against Azriel’s cheek as her breathing slowed. “That was…I’ve never…” It took her a moment to unscramble her thoughts. Her airy chuckle ghosted over his skin. “Is it always that good?” 

Azriel tipped his head back and laughed warmly, unable to contain himself as he smattered kisses over her face, licking off clumps of icing along the way. By the shell of her ear, he whispered, “It is. And just wait until I fuck you.” 

Lust clouded Elain’s eyes as she trailed a hand up Azriel’s neck, wrapping her fingers around the nape. “And…when will that be?” 

“Whenever you’re ready, El.” Azriel promised, stroking a finger over the apple of her cheek. “I don’t want to rush anything. Not with you. You’re the most important thing in my life, and I’ll be damned if I fuck it up. We go at your pace, okay?” 

“What if I’m ready now?” Elain wondered, unoccupied hand grazing the waistband of his sweats. Azriel’s hips jerked forward as when her fingernails trailed over the dark hair below his navel. “What if I want you to fuck me right now?” 

He groaned, head falling to her shoulder. “Baby, nothing would make me happier than taking you on this counter. But uh, I'm…momentarily out of commission.” 

Elain’s brows furrowed. “What? How?”

Cheeks reddened, Azriel took Elain’s palm and dusted it over the evident wet patch on the front of his pants. Her eyes glittered with recognition and humor. Fuck, did Elain even know she held all the power in the world to fucking ruin him? 

“Oh! Well, that’s okay.” Her grin was radiant, voice gently teasing, and Azriel had never seen anything so bright, so undeniably perfect. “Another time, then.” 

Azriel pulled her in for a kiss, breathing against her lips, “Another time, then.” 

ARTWORK BY @chachachai17: Here

DIVIDER BY: @saradika-graphics

[elysianightsss]

Sorry for the inactivity lovelies, I’m still recovering from surgery and struggling at the moment but I will start posting again soon. Thanks to those of you who have sent their love and support!💕❤️

[xrenjunniesx]

Hi I love your account can you please write dreamies revealing their relationship with a non idol reader

when they reveal your relationship

Idol!nct dream x non-idol!reader

a/n - I really struggled on this for some reason so I’m sorry for the longer wait

mark

you two were just trying to enjoy an evening at a bar for a friends birthday. the back of the bar was booked out meaning no fans were going to even be allowed in. it wasn’t fans that were the problem, but rather it was one of the staffs who recognised mark as an idol.

a photo of the two of you hugging each other and another one of mark kissing your cheek was revealed to the public and immediately the response was strong.

people you knew were recognising you and contacting you, EVERYONE was freaking out.

mark didn’t know at first until you called him, panicking as you explained what happened. he left his schedule as quick as he could and went home to you, calling the company to set a meeting to see where to go from here. he is rather mature about the situation and oddly calm, mainly because he knew this kind of thing was bound to happen one day.

doesn’t mean he isn’t panicking though.

renjun

he was the one who saw the post revealing photos of you two shopping together. in fact he saw the post before it even reached the general public. he was quick to get staff and his members to try and get the post taken down but it grew more popular by the minutes and eventually it was making headlines.

he called you and talked to you through what had happened. he was trying to be calm because this wasn’t the end of the world but damn did it feel like that as he read through the public’s opinion.

he did see a few positive comments but the negative outweighed them, so he deletes his social media apps of his phone, only posting photos on Instagram every now and then before deleting again. goes inactive until everything has calmed down for his own mental health and his suggest you do the same - even if it takes months.

jeno

you two were talking in the background of a behind the scenes video uploaded to the youtube channel. the editors thought you were a staff member, they didn’t even notice you and jeno hugging in the background that was only shown for a split second.

the clip was instantly being spread around and the youtube video was re-edited but it didn’t stop the original from being shown.

when he saw it he was a little shocked since he didn’t even notice that there was any type of camera in the room at that moment, which was why he was comfortably talking to you in the middle of the room.

you contacted him minutes later after he first saw it, crying in a moment of worry for what this all meant for you both.

he will reassure you but he will also be just as worried and be telling you to be careful if you go out anywhere JUST IN CASE.

haechan

on a live one of the fans asked what time it was there and he showed the fans his phone, not realising he hadn’t turned notifications off. you sent a message at that exact moment saying, “love, I’ll be home soon.” he moved the phone away quickly but he knew he was done for. he laughed it off awkwardly at first before apologising and ending the live.

he called you as soon as the live was over. “BABE I JUST REVEALED YOUR TEXT OH MY GOD”

you’re both freaking out but once you’re home he tries to calm down and think maturely about this. “look… they can’t ALL hate me? I’ll still be able to make music…” He is thinking positively and refusing to pick his phone up because he knows if he goes online he will only think negatively.

jaemin

you were somewhat a youtuber, and in one of your vlogs, in the background as you walked with the camera through your house there was a picture of you and jaemin.

people managed to recognise it immediately and you were shocked because you didn’t even notice it when you were editing. you contact jaemin, worrying what he would say. you speak so fast into the phone that he didn’t even get to say anything until you were done speaking.

“love… it’s okay we can sort this out.” “I am so sorry jaemin.” “it’s okay, I’ll contact the company then I’ll call you right back, okay?”

you both ended up just coming out about the situation and admitting your dating. you take a break from your socials.

the only positive to this situation is that he gets to see you more since he doesn’t have to hide anything anymore. you can go to his place and he can go to yours!

chenle

there was two instances where he accidentally revealed it and he didn’t even realise that fans would connect these two instances. the first thing was when he accidentally followed your account on instagram. he went on bubble not long after he made it seem light hearted, “oh I accidentally followed an account while going through reels.”

the second time was when a fan asked to be daegals mother and he instantly said, “she already has a mother. WHICH is me I’m the mother and father. I’m the only one she needs.” he panicked as he spoke and tried to play it off.

fans put the two times together and looked more into it, figuring out that you two HAD to be dating. the one and only time the crazy fans were right.

he is panicking when he realises fans were figuring it out and instantly gets in contact with both you and the company. you’re a bit more calm over the phone about this than he is but when you see him in person you’re also freaking out.

jisung

you two were seen together out in public. it was really late at night when the two of you were going for a walk to a local shop near your place to get some late night food.

fans approached jisung, leaving you both shocked since he was disguised pretty well in your opinion.

the fans kept pestering you both so you two ran away- literally.

it made headlines the next day, and you laughed at the photos of you running away with jisung. your laughter was really just covering for how nervous and worried you were though. He on the other hand was texting everyone he trusted and getting all sorts of different advice.

he is really worried about what this meant for his future and he might consider a hiatus to avoid having to face the fans for a bit if the response is really negative.

[1giulia4]

After what felt like ages??? Ive been sometimes saying “oh yeah I’m back and going to post”, “oh yeah I’m gonna draw”, but I didn’t. Because I was so unmotivated and just couldn’t get myself to do anything, school was just so draining.

but now?? I’ve finally been drawing more and more lately and trying to keep gaining that motivation, to get more creative and have fun with my art again

Im actually sorry for being inactive, but I was genuinely struggling with a lot of things, whether it be art, school or personal things. But since I’ve been drawing a lot more lately, even if it’s just doodling, trust and believe I’ll be posting soon enough again. It might not be a full art piece but I’m going to try🙏 thank you for reading if you’ve made it this far lmao

[haryuwu]

🪞 Twisted Wonderland | Le Mirage

Author's note: I have finally resumed on updating Lulu's lore! yippie! I'll be inactive once again as I'll be focusing more that isn't twst related, but I'll make sure to keep on writing for the next chapters! Happy holidays, everyone! 🎄

Her last attempt to talk to Vil Shoenheit was another failure. Louise fled out of the Pomefiore dormitory immediately when she was spotted by a boy who she has no recollection of knowing about. But he seems to be acquainted with Vil. She wasn’t given the time to witness her old friend’s beauty up close due to the statement she heard that shook her core.

“There’s nothing to mend,” those words echo into her mind. That boy, the one who wholeheartedly accepted who she was, no longer exists in this twisted world. The poor lass no longer have any hope left to break free from the name of Mirage. 

With her reaching the portal, she went through it at the speed of light. However, as soon as she got out, her feet couldn’t land safely.

“Ah—!” She missed the ground, causing her to lose concentration to her levitation magic. A broom could’ve supported her weight, but unfortunately her cheek has hit the hall’s floor before her heel could. She rolled on her back until she hit the wall, making a loud thud against it. Thankfully, no one has to see her sorry state at that moment. And most certainly…no one has to see her sobbing like a child.

She tried to swallow the noise, barely keeping herself from wailing as she choked helplessly on her tears. Louise von Mirage remains shackled to her family’s ambition for her holy debut. The event that led to her nightmares, the downfall of Night Raven College, and no one will be able to stop it.

“What am I supposed to do now…?” Louise sobbed as she struggled to stand. “I have doomed them all and yet I’m—” A thought of uncertainty clouds her mind from finishing her sentence. What exactly is she supposed to be right now? What is she trying to obtain from doing this? 

“...I came here to deliver a message to the head mage, but,” She paused as she knew her quest to this island had already been completed. Believing her words of the prophesied incident should've been easy, but with no title to hold…her claims won’t be credible. She might need to give it another go tomorrow. If ever things did not end well…she still has to witness it with her very own eyes. 

But what about him? Will she get another chance to talk to him? It took her minutes to realize he’s been trying to set his mind somewhere else, the preparation for the ball. He’s only active in official businesses—there’s no hidden meaning to it. He’s only preparing to meet the Saintess, not Louise.

That’s right, she mustn’t assume there’s still a place for her in his heart. There’s no room left, only the cramped space of a mirror that reflects her image of his hatred. But why convince herself if it couldn’t heal her wounded heart? Why does she keep choosing to be hurt if she couldn’t gain his favor? Was it really to prove that she didn’t lie back then?

…Or was it for love?

These thoughts numb her mind as if both hope and doubt are mixed into poison. Oh, how much she wants to not open her eyes and succumb to the toxicity of her situation. Despite an absurd thought, these eyes hold more importance than her life. These special eyes must witness what has to happen in this school’s future as if it’s the last thing she could do before she gets shrouded by darkness. 

The pitiful lass groaned as she shut her eyes. She felt the heat behind her eyelids as it searched for a mirror to look through. It wants to see it again, the destruction of the beloved college of the headmage. Or perhaps the aftermath of its crumbled structure. She wrapped her hands around her head, trying to fight the temptation of the unseen future. She refuses to yield until the burning sensation leaves her eyes. 

“It’s gone…but it will come back to haunt me,” a trembling sigh escaped her lips as she grew weary of the repetitive resistance from the power she holds. After some time, she recalled Vil’s back facing her as he walked away farther and farther…until he’s no longer there. “...You said our connection was tightened so much that cutting it was your only solution…I had to untangle it by hand. I've been trying to untangle it desperately because I’m afraid of cutting it off.” 

Her tears begin to well up once again, but this time her sorrowful voice cannot be muted with no more strength to hold it. “I’ve always been afraid…and yet I’m still holding on like a fool!” If only she could tell him those same words that time, could she still feel his warmth? With how things are between them, an indifferent gaze is what she’ll only receive. 

“What was I hoping for…” He’ll never look her way. Never in a million years.

With no energy left to use her magic, she trudged her way out of the hall as she walked aimlessly. Her whimpers and sniffles echo through every hallway she walks into, reaching every ear of the students who were just passing by. Curiosity fills them, but they do not dare look for the source as they believe it to be a bad omen. . . . .

The air cools down as the sky roars from the distance. It wasn’t supposed to rain today but news of a storm coming their way has recently circulated the island. It even reached the school in no time. Eventually, a drizzle came down, then it turned into a loud pour of rain. The students outside ran to take shelter to move the props they’ve been decorating.

“Storm coming our way and then a rumor of a weeping ghost? They have a lot of time to gossip but not to finish their tasks.” Sebek scowls from the sight of his fellow students lazing around after they’ve been ever so slightly touched by the rain. Rain isn’t the problem here after all. It’s the distraction of talking about some ghost that they only heard but not seen as if this school’s not haunted enough. 

“Hey, don’t doze off just because of the weather now! We’ll be late to return to the young master, so get up!” With an aggressive shake of Silver’s shoulders, he adjusted his vision towards the empty hall. There’s a swaying figure at the end of the hall that his eyes took its time to recognize who it was. Was he just hallucinating? He rubbed his eyes to confirm his vision isn’t failing him. Suddenly, he was reminded by Lilia’s description of the young lady they were expected to welcome in a few days.

“...It’s the Saintess,” He told Sebek with unwavering belief that what he had witnessed wasn’t a lie. It was no mistake it was the Saintess that just passed by when no one’s looking. “What are you talking about? They are days away from arriving on this island, so stop with that nonsense and let’s get going,” Without giving it much thought, Silver shoved the blankets to Sebek’s arms and sprinted to where the lady went. “Wh—H-Hey, Silver! Where do you think you’re going?!”

Light on his feet, Silver managed to catch up on her. What a sight she is just by looking at her silhouette. “Please, wait for a moment!” He called onto her in hopes of knowing her unannounced business. It isn’t for the intention to know more information about her, but to know whether she is up to something that may disrupt the upcoming event. Upon noticing Silver tailing her, she hastened her walk to create enough distance from him. 

“There’s no exit there for you to escape. You must refrain from running, milady.” Despite her efforts to avoid being caught by other students of the Night Raven College, she’s faced with a dead end of the hallway. With no more options left, she faced Silver without looking him in the eye. Her gaze remained low to prevent getting even more uncomfortable in this situation. It is considered unbecoming of a lady who carries the Mirage name, yet she doesn’t care now. Not at the moment.

Silver, on the other hand, kept his distance from her. He tries not to get his curiosity the best of him now that someone of higher status stands before him who is trembling and lost. “I know it isn’t my place to know what you are here for this early…but may I ask why—” “I-If you already know your place, keep your mouth shut and not tell a soul I’ve been here,” An unexpected display of authority but he does not dare to question it. The chase convinced him enough she’s only acting tough to keep herself away from trouble. “That won’t be necessary, milady. I don’t plan on…sullying your name,” Silver tries his best to choose the right words in the presence of the young lady. As he had heard about their family from his father, they still follow principles of the old era…and that may include presumptuous standing in the society. 

Despite being called the Saintess, she sure doesn’t act as dignified as some students would describe her. Even so, he’s determined not to offend her. If he ever did, it would be about not knowing what to do with a lady.

“...But I won’t let you just leave without stating your business,” Annoyed by his persistence, she lifted her gaze upon him while he avoided hers in a guise of bowing down. She tried to contain her temper for the sake of not being bested by a stranger.

At that moment, Silver noticed that she had been walking bare footed. It seems to be tainted in red, she has been bleeding without her ever noticing. He couldn’t just leave a wounded lady unattended. “You ran away.” Louise was surprised he had caught on. She instinctively hid her feet, the pain she once never felt suddenly came rushing back as soon as it was pointed out. It must have been difficult to walk onto rocky areas of this school.

“...Even if I was, you have no business knowing about my affairs. I’ll leave on my own. Do not follow me.” 

“Let me at least tend to your wounds, then I’ll leave you alone,” she took a step back, telling him to not come closer. “Please,” until he had to resort to pleading as it took a few minutes for her to surrender because of that. She barely had anyone to act so kindly with great concern about her injuries before. Most of her family would only care for her appearance for the sake of their reputation. 

Put on some ointment, cover it with make up, endure it, and don’t ever complain. You are now the face of Mirage and if ever a slight cut or blemish is spotted on every inch of your body, you’re to be blamed.

“Milady?” Silver took a step forward, trying to see if Louise’s having trouble. She shook her head and told him it was nothing. After finding a seat nearby, she hesitantly offered her feet onto his palm. Casting the spell of healing and comfort, the bleeding of her soles had stopped as the wounds closed up. She waited for him to finish before she finally took the liberty to ask him a question. 

“...May I ask your name?”

“Silver, milady,” 

“And your last name?”

“I…don’t have one,” shocking, but there was no hint of deceit when he spoke about it. A person who does not have a full name…oh how she envies him. But at the same time, she felt rather guilty for being rude to him earlier. She was about to introduce herself to him, but he had to stop her there. 

“I think it’s best that you save it for the day you have to visit our dorm,” Louise didn’t expect him to recognize her as only a select few knew her real appearance. “H-How come you…” No, she need not to know how. He has been formal towards her the whole time. She was mistaken by having thoughts it was only his way of showing respect to any lady. She’s been too busy feeling on edge that she had only noticed his intentions. 

He’s a kind young man. She silently prayed for him to remain as kind as he is now onwards. And if ever they were to meet again, she would like to be friends with him. If only her status wasn't preventing her from doing so, she would’ve made friends freely. And if only the grim future isn’t holding her back…

“I have a strange question to ask,” 

…She won’t be afraid to ask for something she wishes to achieve. “Once we meet again, would you be friends with me?” 

Silver was taken aback by this sudden question. But knowing someone who is of high status who couldn’t make genuine friends and someone who only had other faes who he grew up with, he understood where she’s coming from. 

“I think you must leave now. My friend has been looking for me,” loud stomping can now be heard from the distance. There was a look of sadness in her eyes as she felt rejected. Silver could see this, it’s hard to just let her leave with her question unanswered. “...Very well. Thank you, sir Silver. I’ll see you again soon,” Before she could flee from the area, Silver took this chance to quickly lessen whatever was weighing her mind. 

“I don’t mind becoming your friend,” He smiled and lowered his head to bid her farewell. “Please take care,” Louise was unable to respond, instead she held her tears back and pursed her lips. As soon as Sebek reached his side, the lady had finally vanished. “SILVER! How could you leave just like that?!” Facing Sebek’s way, Silver had no other choice but to lie for her sake. It is as he promised, he doesn’t intend to sully her name. “Sorry, I just found a lost bird.” 

“A bird? You have been daydreaming this whole time?” Without explaining further, Silver just gave him a shrug. “Never mind that, let’s return to the dorm. We’ve been out here far too long. I cannot let our lordship be disappointed due to tardiness!” With Sebek wanting to return as soon as possible, Silver simply followed him from behind. Before he could forget this ever happened, he noticed another thing about Louise.

He took out a handkerchief from his pocket and sighed. “I should’ve offered her this…She seemed upset to even look me in the eye.” . . . .

“Aah it’s pouring hard,” One of the housewardens in Night Raven College coincidentally passing by the Ramshackle Dorm ended up staying for the night. Not that he can use magic to prevent rain from soaking him, he just felt the need to stay as he had heard about one of the rumors pointing at this very dorm. Perhaps it is for the sake of slacking off from his duties…He sat up from the sofa to ask the Prefect again to make sure this certain rumor isn’t true. “So, you’re really sure the crying lady isn’t here?”

“Kalim, I know this place seems haunted but please don’t always assume we have more ghosts as residents.” The housewarden of Scarabia, Kalim Al-Asim, felt slightly disappointed. “Besides, if she’s really here, we would be hearing her sobbing by now…” 

“Alright…then about this no-touch rule by the Mirage family, I think I understand why.” Curious about his thoughts regarding this rule placed by the Mirage family, the Prefect raised a brow and sat down. “How so?”

“Hm? Ah, well…from what I heard from Jamil, their family is still practicing their old tradition,” It is the family tradition of a lady in a marriageable age not to touch a man unless they’re betrothed to them. Of course, it still requires the lady’s permission to be held but that doesn’t apply to a Saintess. To receive the touch of the Saintess is considered receiving holy blessing, and that blessing cannot be given without having an audience with the Saintess herself. They had to undergo a tedious procedure to receive this blessing. Therefore, she must remain free from tainted hands and for her to wear gloves is a must.

The Mirage’s tradition wasn’t applied to be studied in history class in every school throughout Twisted Wonderland as they like to keep their history exclusive within the family only. Rumors say that whoever spreads word of its confidential details will face greater misfortune in life. “Jamil mentioned a lot of difficult procedures and how the Mirage family handled those, but it started to bore me as he went on…”

“Huh…” Then they need to keep what the headmage told them as a secret to their grave. This wouldn’t be hard to keep from their friends, right? 

Looking out through the window, they believe that the rain won’t be stopping till late at night. Even the strong gust of wind rattles the windows, making the silence unsettling. Until suddenly the light began to flicker and eventually the power went out. The sky continued to roar, calling the lightning to strike down. “A-All of a sudden? Wouldn’t the lights stay on unless there are magical disturbances…?” This weather is strange…there might be news of it coming, but isn’t it too dramatic? 

“Myah?! Why are the lights turned off?!” Grim finally went down from the stairs after his siesta as he was disturbed by both the weather and power interruption. “What? I just got a message from Jamil, they can’t seem to enter through the portals. What’s going on?” The mirror portals are dysfunctioning? That’s a new predicament that had never once happened before.

“Sob…” A muffled whimper was suddenly heard nearby. The three looked at each other as they knew who exactly it was. But there was still a slight uncertainty not when they had to face this ghost themselves. The sobbing continues as it grows clearer from the distance, it’s coming their way.

Splat.

The faint wet strides alarmed them to stay put. But what should they do in this situation? Should they wait for the ghost to go near them, breathing onto their necks? Someone has to bravely confront her at least. “Sorry, grim. Do the usual!” The Prefect shamelessly pushed Grim, expecting him to breathe out fire as it was he had done the first time they checked the dorm.

“Wh—How dare you push me?!” But with the ghost standing behind him, the cold air gave him goosebumps and made his fur rise. He immediately breathed out the hottest flame he could muster at the ghost as his defense. 

“AAAH…!” A screeching scream echoed in the dorm. It frightened the three even more as it made every inch of their body freeze in place due to the noise. Although, what came next startled them as the lights went back on. There the ghost was down on the floor, completely drenched from the storm...Or so they thought. 

“H-Hey! I know we’ve had our disagreements before, but are you going to reenact it right now?!” It turns out to be one of the Ramhackle dorm residents whose hat and scarf are dragging on the floor. They must’ve mistaken it as footsteps during the blackout. But they could’ve been wrong. Uncertainty filled the living room as they all looked at one another.

“Ah, it was just you! Man, you could’ve just greeted like you usually do!” Drying the ghost’s hat and scarf, they all went back to their seats still pondering about the whimpering that they’ve heard earlier. It couldn’t be the ghosts as they sounded unlikely from a young lady’s voice, the Prefect believes it so. Was it just the wind? It’s an absurd thought, yet it might’ve been just something made by their exhausted mind. 

Those things are nothing to be concerned about…right?

To Be Continued ➵ Next Chapter

[awriterlivinginaconstantdream]

Hey guys

Sorry I’ve been inactive lately HAPPY NEW YEAR

I have just been dealing with things and plus work on top and so everything just piled up. I’ve been trying to write and keep the story going but it’s been hard to find time. I’m really sorry for the ones who’ve probably been waiting patiently for the second part of chapter 2. I’ve been trying again and hopefully maybe I’ll be better.

Yeah so again I just wanted to apologise for being gone for so long. My last post I think was September or something or maybe even further back than then. And that was a journal entry so yeah umm sorry for making you wait and I hope if there’s anyone else who’s struggling with mental health right now I hope you get better soon I know it doesn’t feel like it now or it feels like it’s years away but things will slowly change. Make sure you stay hydrated make sure you eat well and make sure to spend time with the special people in your lives ok? Good.

I’ll see you again soon

[traffic-was-a-b1tch]

anthem of the heart

(jake kiszka x reader) 18+

summary: you and your best friend move into a new apartment after college, wanting a fresh start in nashville. however, you come to find that your neighbors are musicians. very loud musicians who like to keep you up at night. especially one, who likes to bother you on purpose. you would hate him… if he wasn’t so hot.

warnings for overall series: eventual SMUT!!!, angst, mentions of past abuse (not jake), abuse (not jake), mentions of past sexual assault (not jake), sexual assault (not jake), enemies to lovers, cursing, let me know if I missed any. (i’m still making this series up as I go along so it might change)

warnings for this chapter: mental struggle after SA, mentions of the SA in chapter three, therapeutic exercises, sexual tension to the max, cursing, let me know if I missed any!

author’s note: hey everyone! sorry about my inactivity! I get in writing moods some days and write 2-3 chapters in a few hours, and other days I rot in bed with no motivation lol. but thank you endlessly for the love! as always, please feel free to give me feedback, requests, comments, etc. enjoy!!!

• • •

Chapter Five:

you wanted to immediately run for the shower. your blouse was starting to stick to you; you felt so unclean. not just because you had been in the same clothes for 24 hours, but because of tanner.

before you could get to the bathroom you checked kailee’s room for her. you forgot to tell her where you were last night and knew she was probably worried sick. opening the door, you saw she wasn’t in her room.

you checked your phone and saw dozens of missed calls and texts from her. she wrote an hour ago that she was going to the police if you didn’t respond.

fuck. so that’s where she is.

you needed to call her and stop her from making a scene.

dialing her number, you thought about what to say. how could any words capture the last 24 hours? she answered within two rings and sounded frantic.

“oh my god! i’m so happy you called. are you ok?! where the hell were you last night? I called and texted with no answer. fuck, i’m even outside the police station right now!”

“kailee, i’m so sorry. please calm down. so much happened and I don’t know how to tell you-”

“don’t say another word”, she cut you off, “i’m on my way home. you can tell me everything in person.”

you sighed in relief of not having to have that conversation over the phone.

“ok, i’ll see you when you get here. I love you.”

“I love you more, houdini”, she countered and hung up.

thankful that she gave you time to decompress and think about how to tell her, you got back to business.

returning to the bathroom, you turned the water to hell levels of hot and stood in front of the mirror for a second.

fuck.

you were covered in bruises.

there was a few finger shaped ones of your arm and one big one on the bottom of your breast. you felt awful.

finally, the events of yesterday settled in your mind.

the fear of seeing tanner again hit you, and you realized you hadn’t seen him today. he was gone and you didn’t know where. this terrified you more. the unsettling notion that he might come back, surprise you when your all alone. when jake isn’t there to save you. tears were flowing down your face by now and you wiped them away.

you thought you didn’t need saving, that you could handle things yourself. but it was becoming increasingly more difficult, and you couldn’t deny that tanner would’ve done worse things to me if jake hadn’t been there to stop him.

you started to feel disappointed in yourself. you never really thanked him for helping you. you had gotten wrapped up in your frustration that you failed to express how thankful you were of him in those moments.

no more dwelling on this today, you told yourself.

stepping into the shower was relieving. the hot water running over your body and through your hair started to relax you.

you started with your hair, scrubbing shampoo all over it and into every crevice, then rinsing. next was conditioner, running it through your hair with care and rinsing.

getting a squeeze of body wash on your loofah, you started to softly wash your arms.

you breathed shakily, getting flashbacks as you ran it over the bruises. then you sped up, increasing the pressure, trying to scrub as hard as you could; trying to wash him off of you. you gasped as you panted and grunted, scrubbing so hard you were turning red.

it was never going to work.

you told yourself to calm down, to center yourself. you counted down from ten, slowing your breathing. taking a second, you turned your face under the water, letting the water wash your salty tears down the drain.

you were going to leave it all here. all his touches, all the sadness, all the anxiety.

you finished washing your body and cleansed your face. you were overwhelmed. the emotions from the interview, seeing tanner, and jake swarmed your head. you were determined to leave them all in the shower.

you were pretty much done, just basking in the hot water’s peace, when your heard a door knock.

probably kailee.

you were going to be happy to see her face after the day you had.

you got out of the shower, cutting off the water and wrapping yourself in a towel. there were more knocks, growing heavier and impatient.

you started to unlock the door and open it, groaning, “kailee, don’t get your panties in a twist.”

as it opened fully, you looked up shocked to see jake.

instantly you regretted not getting dressed, or even dried off.

“don’t tell me what to do with my panties, thank you”, he smirked.

his presence drifted in the doorway: cocky and sexy. damn.

you rolled your eyes, “oh please, jake. you wish I cared about your panties.”

it was then that he realized what you were ‘wearing’, if you could even call it that.

it was a fluffy pink towel from a dollar store back home. it was wrapped tightly around your chest, emphasizing your breasts, and only reached down to your mid thigh.

it was revealing, to say the least, and you saw his eyes as they trailed your body.

he breathed deeply, meeting your eyes, as if he had been holding his breath looking at you.

“I- um, came to return this.”

he held his hand out, offering the clip that had been in your hair last night. you forgot that you had taken it out and set it on the nightstand to try to detangle your hair.

you were knocked out of his trance, smiling and replying, “oh, right. I forgot I left that there. um, thank you.”

you reached and took it, your fingers brushing his. you waited for him to pull away, to recoil at your touch. but he stayed.

the chemistry was getting to be too much for you. you found yourself questioning: did you want space? your cramped mind said yes, begging to get a break.

or did you want him? your body screamed yes. every time you were around him you were annoyed; annoyed at his arrogance, annoyed at his loud band, annoyed that you couldn’t have him in your bed. fuck, that was a thought that haunted you as soon as you imagined it. him naked, in your arms, exploring your body.

you couldn’t decide what you wanted, but you felt the heat around you both getting hotter. too hot for comfort.

you pulled your hand away, repeating, “thank you.”

he nodded, returning to the conversation, “it’s really pretty. I knew you’d want to have it back.”

you smiled, “it’s one of my favorites. although, it seems like you would benefit from it right now.”

you glanced at his slightly messy curls, giggling softly.

it was becoming painfully obvious that both of you were dancing around what you really wanted to say to each other.

he laughed at your comment, rolling his eyes.

the sight of that made your mind betray you, imagining his eyes rolling back as you took him in your mouth. fuck, could you get any peace from this need?

jake’s eyes zeroed in on the deep red marks littering your skin, frowning.

you realized that you found your chance to let him know how appreciative you were.

“I never really thanked you for what you did. i’ve known tanner for years and knew I couldn’t overpower him. who knows what he would’ve done if you hadn’t helped.” you looked at him in genuine earnest.

he nodded, reaching out and brushing one of the marks on your shoulder, causing you to melt for him internally.

“i’m sorry I couldn’t do more.” his tone was full of regret.

you hated seeing him like this, pitying you.

“what else could you do? kiss them to make them feel better?” you laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

but the mood only shifted.

his eyes flicked to yours, filled with dark desire. his breathing quickened, causing yours to do the same as you saw his thoughts plastered on his face.

your mouth opened slightly, watching both of you struggle to keep your electricity at bay.

he was slipping though, stepping closer and whispering.

“is that what you want?”

oh my god.

you could barely breathe, your eyes never leaving his.

the lust that hung in the small gap between you slowly dissipated as he blinked his eyes away and stepped back. you stood there confused as he shook his head at himself.

“i’m sorry. you’ve been through a lot lately. you should get some rest.”

you swallowed your need, nodding. one part of you was thankful that he was so considerate of your mind and body after the trauma; but another part of you was aching for him.

but you knew he had made the right choice. probably.

“i’ll, uh, see you later.” he walked towards his door.

you closed yours, catching your breath. that was so charged with sexual tension that you needed to sit down.

you made your way to your couch and lowered down onto it, sighing. maybe all of this was for the best. why were you letting your life get complicated with another relationship? hell, you need to be thinking about your ex, not some guy that likes to annoy you. a really, really hot guy who likes to annoy you.

just then another knock came.

your head shot up.

he changed his mind.

running back to the door, you flung it open.

“where the fuck have you been?”, kailee gasped, engulfing you in a hug, “you have no idea how worried I was.”

• • •

the chemistry is so sickening I can’t!!!

tag list: @gvfpal @hollyco

(please let me know if anyone else would like to be on the tag list!)

[bonnibuckets]

— ambivalent | leon kennedy

synopsis: falling for your fwb isn't the greatest idea

content: leon x gn! reader, fwb, implication of sex, angst no comfort, slight violence, ooc possibly lol

words: 1.2k

note: sorry again for being inactive ALSO I found out how to do a gradient on text @kennedyswhore thank you for showing me!! also credit to @dilfverz for the “mature images” that i’m using taglist 🏷️: @ghostkennedy @adaelines @konigbabe @meowsiee @antidesire @alewesker @d34ng3l

You knew deep down that getting involved with him was dangerous, but you ignored the gnawing feeling in your stomach. In the same way that you ignored your feelings whenever he kissed you but fell to his knees when he saw Ada. Or how he would cast you aside whenever she needed him, and even the feeling that tugged at your heart when the sheets were empty when you woke up in Leon’s bed. 

By touch and by smell you’d know him blind and even in death, but you didn’t know if he could say the same. You knew this isn’t what you wanted or deserved, but you couldn't walk away, he was intoxicating, and you couldn't stop yourself from reaching for your fix. 

—

You were staring off as Leon kissed your neck and his voice broke you out of your trance. “Sorry,” you said manually blinking for a second before turning to him. “You've been off lately,” he caressed your cheek tenderly. It was as if he cared about your feelings and not that his plaything wasn't having fun with him. His touch was supposed to be comforting, but it had the reverse effect on you, you tried not to jerk your body in the opposite direction “Just been in my head” you said trying to avoid the topic. 

A voice in your head was screaming at him not to push it anymore– scared of where it might lead. It was becoming harder to ignore as Leon kept poking and prodding, “Come on tell me” he said pushing hair behind your ear. You quickly tried to form a lie but you were frozen like a deer in headlights. You were struggling to find the words as your throat let out strange noises. 

You knew you couldn’t keep pretending and lying to yourself “I-I” you stuttered and looked away– ripping yourself from his touch and warmth. “Love,” you said in a broken sentence, broken like how your heart felt. You debated not saying anything after that but you’d already opened your mouth so you figured enough damage was done already “Y-you”.

The silence that followed was deafening and you didn’t know what to do, you were completely paralyzed by what came out of your mouth and what Leon would say or do.  

It seemed like hours had passed before he spoke, “We talked about this” he said sounding annoyed. “I know” you whispered, you knew of what you agreed on– what deal you made, a deal with the devil. You got to have what you most wanted– which was Leon but at the expense of your heart. 

“Then why did you say that” he groaned getting up, you panicked and it was clear in your voice “I-I didn’t mean to!” you pleaded as tears formed in your eyes. You couldn't handle another cold night alone. You wished Leon would've miraculously developed deeper feelings for you and opened his eyes, but he’d much rather remain blind by his ignorance. You hoped he’d laugh and wrap you in his arms as he’d say “I love you too”. You prayed that his heart secretly wanted you and that this was all an attempt to save himself some face, but alas your wishes and prayers were futile. 

Leon didn’t love you the way you loved him and you both knew that.

He chuckled and you felt the gravity weigh on your heart, “You didn’t…really think that I loved you right?” he said softly smirking. You knew what he was doing, he knew you’d play along to not upset him– his little perfect toy. Tonight was going to be different though– something inside you snapped and you couldn't stand to look at him. “I didn’t but I hoped you did," you said, biting the inside of your cheek. “What?” he questioned and looked down at you, “I’m done,” you said calmly as you swung your feet off the bed. 

You collected your things as Leon stood there confused, you tried to walk out but he stepped in front of you. “Move please,” you said too tired to fight, “No we’re not done,” he said mostly to himself as if he was trying to convince his mind. “I want to leave,” you said feeling a little scared– an avalanche was forming and you could practically see it coming your way.

“N-no” his voice was unsteady, maybe because he knew his toy was tired of being played with— or maybe his ego was too high to realize that he needed you. Someone to fill the void in his heart and to be there to lift him up, but he ruined the only chance he had.

“Please Leon,” you said looking down at your feet, you needed him to move before you changed your mind. Before you decided to wrap yourself back into his warmth that suffocated you. 

“We’re not done” he repeated, returning to his ‘nonchalant’ attitude. “We are,” you said without much force behind it.

“Come on let’s get back in bed-” his voice was sweet like honey trying to convince you, but you wouldn’t fall into his trap. “No!” you said pushing him, “No more, I-I can't take it anymore!” you said as tears rolled down your face. “I can’t keep doing this! Pretending everything is fine, pretending that it doesn’t bother me!” you screamed holding your chest like the pain was physical and you were bleeding onto the floor.

“I can’t live like this, I can’t keep pretending…you love me,” you said finally looking up into his eyes.

He was taken aback and lost for words as you stood there and poured your soul in front of him. “I don’t understand” his voice croaked out, your brows furrowed and your fits tightened. “Understand what?!” you said, your voice gaining hostility. “I just don’t understand…where this is coming from,” he said chuckling.

Your vision went blurry as an avalanche of emotions washed over you as you lunged at him pushing him as hard as you could onto the floor, “You’re so fucking stupid!” you screamed and kicked him. “You think I was happy like this?!” tears were flowing and dripping onto him, “you think this is the life I deserve— to be treated like a fuck toy to only be discarded when I’m not needed?!”

The pain in your heart tenfold as you ‘gushed blood’ all over Leon, “You were supposed to be my friend for fucks sake” you cried and backed up. “You were supposed to be my friend Leon” you repeated thinking about everything and how it turned out. How everything went to shit, how he was your friend before a lover.

A friend before your feelings turned into more.

A friend before lips met one another.

A friend before warm flesh clashed and melted together.

A friend before he ripped your heart out. 

You walked away as Leon sat on the ground and didn’t fight for you to stay anymore, he knew it was over. He knew the friendship, the ‘love’ that was there vanished— all thanks to him. He often tried to blame others or something for the misfortune that followed him around but this mistake— he couldn’t point the finger to anyone but himself. He’d gone and ruined something that could’ve been beautiful.

All because he couldn’t handle the truth. 

© 2023 bonnibuckets. ─ do not copy, repost or translate any of my works on any platform without my permission.