#sorry for not posting art in months again Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[knockknockitsnickels]

Old Warly & Webber doodle based on a quote I thought was cute <3

[blenselche]

I just wanted to lyk that I power read through keep yourself in like 2 days but have been struggling to write a proper comment that doesn't feel inadequate. Because woah boy the emotional journey this fic sent me on. I am simultaneously both living for this and am deceased. I'm trying to reread chapter by chapter for notes but my brain is pretty chaotic so I might not get around to finishing that. And I didn't wanna Not write you Something abt this fricking epic and be like... I felt.. stuff lol

I've also been semi stalking your blog recently because you showed up in my recommended and somefruckinghow I have never managed to fall into the Finn Fern ship even after many Many years in the AT fandom and shipping various other pairings so... thank you? 😅 (but also how dare I can't find anything on this ship anywhere else pls send help I'm not ok)

Also on a more serious note I saw your post abt being clean and first Congrats on 10 years that's amazing!! 🎉🎉 And I hope one day I get there myself. Technically I'm 5 years sober but only finished taking methadone a few months ago.

Sorry this is kinda ranty and half thought out but like I needed to get it out. Hope your life is good and stuff 🥰

This is probably the nicest thing to ever land in my inbox so first of all thank you <3 and second of all congratulations on 5 years! That's a huge accomplishment! I'm rooting for your next five! You'll wake up one day and someone ELSE will remind you that it's been X years and it'll feel so good :)) and congrats on getting off methadone! I know how hard it is to taper/get off harm reduction medication, it's arguably harder than quitting opiates imo. (ain't that a shit sandwich)

I'm so happy you enjoyed my fic, it's nuts how fast people eat through it. Huge compliment to be told that it couldn't be put down/was read so enthusiastically! (even if you don't finish the notes I'd still be so stoked to read what you wrote btw!) And eyy, another convert, hurray! but also I am so sorry. There was a surge of finnfern stuff after 3 buckets aired and then it just dropped off a cliff, sorry to get you into a ship that's seemingly been left in a cobwebby corner. There's some people still making art for it on twitter iirc but overall it's got the pulse of a corpse lol. Super weird that it was one of the top AT ships for a solid few months and then just.... nothing. I'm in fandoms older than dirt with obscure crack pairings that get more content uploaded to the net on the regular, it's odd.

Thank you again <333 hope your life is good and stuff too ╰(⸝⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝⸝)╯

[2af-afterdark]

So uh. Winter depression hit full force and I have fallen off the face of the Earth and now I feel anxious coming back, but I also miss reading your posts and sending silly things to your inbox... Which means that I need to actually write something...

First off, I guess I'd like to know if you've received the three long asks I sent you, like, a month ago? I wish I could say what was in them, but my memory is exceptionally shitty and so all I remember is that one of them was me trying to provide more details for that one Bael idea I told you about. I never got around to making sure it actually sent and didn't just disappear, and I'm sorry for that. I remember you saying you liking the idea and wanting to write for it, and I probably made that a whole lotta harder for you.

I've also had a burnout after all and hadn't been able to force myself to pick WHB up again. I'm thoroughly enjoying NuKani though (despite Eiden being stubborn and not coming home after 170 pulls), and hoping to return to the horny devils, too. Bael still has me in a chokehold and I miss him.

Sorry if this was too personal and uninteresting. Not really sure if I'm being a bother, but I figured I should probably kick myself into telling you I've yet to perish. I hope you're doing well, or at least okay! Please remember to rest and drink water <3

— 💛

💛!!!!!!!!!!!! I was afraid I had blocked you during one of my follower checks! I'm so sorry the winter depression has taken its tole on you. It's a lot every year. Why is the human body like this....

Personally, I haven't been writing as much lately because, uhhh, I explained last week (the post is private now) that I have been in a weird funk because I learned that my father died and it's made me kind of... confused in a lot of ways? You just happened to send everything right before I got that news...

I got your request and the ask that explained MC's personality. I may have answered the other two? I certainly don't see them in my inbox at least. Was it this one where you ask about the nightmare pass stuff? If not, Tumblr may have eaten them.

Olivine is on my shit list right now because he refuses to come home and I lost my 50/50... I just want to get shit in my gacha! I need hot men and art and fanfics all catered toward my specific taste! Manaed the first two, but I am super picky about the last one and I can't find a writer with open commissions that matches my needs. Sadness.

I'm glad you found the strength to send something in at least! Hope life and your brain treat you better in the coming weeks. You deserve it.

Hugs and kisses from across the internet~

[lotus-btas]

BTaS Update: May-July 2023 - Pages of Lotus

Back again after a VERY long while without an update. Sorry for that, I'm forgetful.

Let me catch you up to speed on how the progress for Beyond Time and Space has been going these past few months, where we are now, and how we'll do things moving into the future.

Starting with the past, I'm gonna be fully honest: I haven't made a lot of progress with episode 2. Towards the end of May and the entire month of June, I've been suffering some serious burnout, to the point where interacting with my work would make my physically ill and exhausted. For a while I thought about skipping episode 2 entirely and moving on to 3, but then remembered that I stopped working on ep 3 because of my dissatisfaction/change of ideas with ep 2 that mentally stopped me from moving into the next arc. I'm still semi trying to get over it, but every day I can feel my creative drive starting to kick back in. I just need to sit down, focus, and get to work, which is a lot harder these days than ever before.

I also mentioned in the past how I was gonna host a beta reading for the first episode of Beyond Time and Space on the 20th of May. That also didn't happen. Not only was I sick with a headache on the 19th of that month, but I was rushed to the hospital for treatment, and spend the 20th, 21st, 22nd, and 23rd recovering. Plus, that post got little to no interest or attraction, so making a sign up that no one would bother to mess with seemed kind of pointless.

As of the present, right now I'm working on trying to balance my energy between BTaS and my other projects and interest, to make sure that my burnout doesn't get as dangerously bad as it did in May and June. It seems to be working. None of them are making much sound progress, as I keep getting distracted by my own thoughts, but it's keeping my energy in check, which is all I need.

I also decided to start working on a pilot for Beyond Time and Space! Yeah! The one thing that I should've started with, especially because this is an animated series, I'm doing now, a full year after I wrote the first episode! Kinda ironic! I find a huge benefit of this being that I know my characters super well now, but the big disadvantage is finding something for them to do; how they can interact with this new environment that I'm putting them in for a single short episode. That's also been a little draining. Might need to brainstorm some more.

And, last but not least, going forward. My plans from this point on is to hopefully have a more consistent update schedule (every or every other Saturday, if I can remember), maybe create and show off some art made specifically for the updates, like a visual summary. I'm also working on a twitter account for Beyond Time and Space that is currently up, but probably won't have anything on it for quite a while. I'm a full believer that it's never too early to share your work, but I'm an anxious gun that needs some sort of visual content to back it up, if that makes sense.

Anyways this is really long. Apologies for that. I would add a TL;DR, but I'm kinda in a rush now because I gotta cook dinner. Just getting this out of the way beforehand (and because the time it took to write this was the same amount of time I had left before the time to cook dinner struck, so it kind of just fell in my lap). Maybe I'll include one once I reblog with the tag list.

Thanks for spending your time reading this update! Your eyes are a blessing :D

- Yors Truly

[castielsprostate]

start telling yourself that people like that ain't worth your mental energy (which is just the truth bestie!!!!!!!!!!) <3 and they'll always have that passing thought at 2am right before they fall asleep that you were right and they were wrong and stupid whilst you are in ur lil pillow palace sleeping like a peaceful rock and having the best time of ur live (⁠✿⁠^⁠‿⁠^⁠)

(more serious answer under the cut)

sorry if none of this will actually make sense, but this was my thought process to learning to letting go;

and well for me it was part growing up on the internet and part learning to just not care and live my silly little life haha. I've been blocked by so many people, even huge accounts and often for the stupidest reasons (like having a different opinion about Timothée chamalet definitely not trying to be harry styles because he literally just wore a black sparkly suit to an award show) and it's all about just. letting go (and that's a lot lot looot harder to do than just saying it. it takes a lot of time to learn it and to accept it and it's okay to feel sad and upset and confused)

something that greatly helped me, is that i allow myself those 10 to 15 minutes of feeling hurt and confused, especially if it was a blog i actually liked or felt i vibed with. and then i tell myself that, yeah, everyone is allowed their own, curated online experience! and if im not part of that, than so be it. will it still make me cry at 3am 7 months later when im spiraling and thinking about all the wrong i ever did? yes. will it make my daily life a bit lighter because im not constantly worried about others' opinions of me? also yes. is it one of the hardest things to do? also absolutely yes! it's a long process of establishing your self worth and learning that people are strange and illogical creatures that do irrational things.

and being able to tell yourself 'oh well' will greatly!! improve your mental wellbeing. you're not constantly picking apart your (and their) brain to figure out why.. sometimes there is no why unfortunately.

I'm blocked by huge blogs in different fandoms (and PETA on both twitter and instagram for two different things i did), some I've genuinely never even interacted with! and it does suck when one of their funny posts comes on ur dash and all ur moots are having fun throwing it around like a dodgeball and ur just watching from the sideline like >:( but then again they can't rebollge your funny posts either! so it's on them. their posts aren't that funny afterall!!!!

learning to let go is really important in life, and especially with how big the internet is a part of our lives and that people feel more and more comfortable with the nonexistent lie of anonymity on the webs. words and actions don't have impacts anymore, suddenly.

im here if you ever need to talk about it though, because being blocked can really really sting, even if you've mastered the art of living rent free in people's heads

and also, remember; they're genuinely not worth your time and mental energy!!! you've only got one you and it's unfair to yourself to divulge all your attention to others when they can't spare another look at you(r content).

(also a tiny little thing i did to 'practice' being okay with being blocked is just getting blocked by accounts like PETA. it's part of rejection therapy i guess? but a corporate account won't really remember! so! and getting blocked by them is easier than it seems :>)

you're someone's hated tumblr

[hekkoto]

Become my Patron before 20th of September if you want get this cool print [and September one too ;p I know its super late but my health was shit] ~ and many more amazing things which I offer to my Patrons ;> check it out, maybe something will interest you ^^ also right now Im in quite bad financial situation so every $ means a lot! Okay, I guess Im finally moving forward ;p Im catching up on stuff and cause I feel way better now I guess I can work on arts and actually be more regular with posting them ^^ making photo of this print took me 2 weeks ;p last 2 months were Hell but Im working hard to feel better, I already had another therapy appointment and I was told how to deal with super strong emotions so I hope I will be able to use it in my life. Hopefully my family wont decide to fuck up my mental health again, Im so pissed of that recovering to somewhat fine state took me over year... Sorry, I have a bit bad day today cause I was journaling after I got up and Im fed up with my life being ruined cause they never care how I feel and what are my needs, instead they prefer to push me harder and harder. I will make sure they will know its their fault if I will kill myself cause of them =,= I hope they will suffer so much they wont be able to live with themselves, only their suffering can pay off for my suffering.. eh, I want to stay alive but even tho I think they arent doing it on purpose I was on my last straw this time.... ye, I was told I suffer from CPTSD, perhaps thats why it haunts me so much lolz I would love to be able to sleep, later I sleep maybe 2-3 hours 2 or 3 times a day >XD Im so exhausted for most of a time but I just cant sleep aaaaaaaa I will be working hard on fixing my life now, I wanna eat healthier, have better sleep, not overuse alcohol or meds, workout, make my mental health better, work on arts and videos and post them ^^ ye, quite a lot but I feel like now Im actually able to try do this ;D So yeah, hopefully it will be greatest comeback of my life <3 wanna support my evil dark empire? Im accepting souls on Patreon and Ko-fi! -> Hekkoto Huge thanks to all of my Patrons and people who donate <3

[brianaria711]

A Message for Mr. Austin

(Note: Austin Lee Matthews, Before you do something to me, Please read this message below until the end, i know this was all my fault 🤦‍♂️ but this is very important. Also don't worry i will not delete this post unlike the last time in order to showcase how embarrasing i am and served as a lesson to me to not do it again in the future.)

Dear Mr. Austin (@amtrax)

Its me, Brian Aria. remember me from Twitter/X where i tag some Interesting Fanart i found Aswell as the one who helped finished the Character Color Wheel until i acidentally tag a Digimon Story: Cyber Sleuth fanart where i didn't realize you rarely hated it (Despite many friends really liked it) ?

Its been 3 Months now that this accident happened and since today is 25th December (aka Christmas Day), i just wanted to say im very sorry because of all the problems that i have done to you over the months including the recent one where i failed doing a kind apology about not doing the same mistakes again aswell as panic deleting it that you suppose to advice me at the same time since i didn't realize i have a big test during that time and i don't know how to do between "didn't want to tag on any art again" or "stop tagging on that same art" which caused me to quickly reply that rushed apology that i mostly seen which i though during that time, the word "Oh, Sorry for that" means i will not tag on that same Terriermon art.

About the last one which was occurred at the near end of September, I actually didn't meant to annoy or tag to any post that contains something inappropiate/bad to you including others (which can be indicate by you or even someone liked my tag before eventually looking at the fanart itself which is unfortunately disabled by Elon which make it harder to see if someone that i tag already seen it before or not) but in the end i realize that sometimes people have different personalities which is the reason why sometimes they wanted it other times they don't. (Which is the reason why some of my friends blocking me for different reasons.)

Second, for the delete tag part, i thought it would make you didn't see that art that you didn't like as i will didn't tag to that Terriermon fanart again as i mentioned before but after you blocked me, i realized that removed the tweet/post that you supposed to complained to me causes more trouble than i thought.

I know the result of the negative impact to me because of this such as blocking my both Twitter/X, Twitch, Discord Account currently couldnt be easily outdone (Which for Unblocking me on Twitter is a bit unlikely right now considering that website current state is still very negative due to Elon and for me i guess, Its half-fitting however it actually isn't considering you are leaving Twitter/X at the End of September.) but For now on, in order to preventing this from happening again, whenever when i see you again on other Social Platforms like this one (Tumblr) or Bluesky (Which they have a mention/tag feature like almost every Social media did), i promise that i will try to stop tagging you on other people fanart (as well as posting anyones art on your Discord) as possible. The reason i made this difficult decision is because of two reasons: 1. we will never know what Fanart that we liked or didn't like it (Just like the recent Terriermon art) & 2. i didn't want to take any risk from being blocked by you again in the future. (I may will also stop tagging other voice Actors like Amanda Winn Lee or even Casey Mongillo to other peoples fanarts because of the same risk that i already mentioned above as well being careful to my friends.)

Again Mr. Austin, Please don't mad at me, If you are still blocking me then thats fine (i guess). But if possible, can you please unblock me from either of your various Social media (like Twitch or even Discord) ?

I would be happy if you have me second chance in order to help me to not repeat my mistakes again since i want to see more amazing posts from you like various arts you have Made over the year's, how you respect LGBT+ (i also love them too), posting some interesting songs and Facts/Lore, as well as asking question that i wanted to know more (i.e. Favorite Valve Games, Do you ever played Azure Striker Gunvolt, etc).

I love your various voice acting roles over the years like Roche from Final Fantasy VII Remake or even become one of the Additional Voices of Halo Infinite as well as Being a fan of Sonic the Hedgehog and Mega Man (which i also love them because of how cool they are) and im very sad if i didn't see you again especially i live in different country that makes it very hard to see you outside the internet right now.

Because, i may not very good at Social media since my parents didn't teach me on how to do it when i was a kid but when i hear a complaint from someone, i promise that i will do better to improve my mistakes, be more careful, and not do it again. (Just like how you complaint to me on Discord about don't suggest any full games every day.)

Anyways, Happy Holidays and thank you for reading this message until the end, Hopefully your voice acting career including your original project Megaton Girl will be always successful from 2024 and beyond.

-Brian

(Additional Note: For those who wondering about my Tumblr Account that you posted on X/Twitter few months ago, Yes this is my Official Tumblr Account. Also At the time of this writing and Outside of my communication with you, i spend almost three months doing Hiatus on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram/Threads (except doing few replies to any sports account) since my parents weren't allowed me to reply or mention any of my friends post or even any Voice Actors (except for non-related ones) for three months as a punishment after they seeing that i got blocked by you because of my stupid behavior. I Know i did lose some of my friends such as AudreyStar because of this, but this is the only thing i can do for Mr.  Austin in order to make sure i didn't do that again. What Have I Done...)

[a-v-j]

They freaking found me

Ok, so remember how i basically moved out from my old house about 3 months ago? I just wish to be forgotten but noooooo.

One ugly face i hoped to not see again till the day of their funeral, showed in front of my doorstep this morning. I DONT KNOW HOW, but FUUUUUUU

They gonna keep showing up now, threat me again with bullshit and demand some money that barely last ME a month, since they know where i am.

I need to accumulate about $500 to move again, the other rents here are more expensive than the one i currently live in

So people please commission me. I know i know i still got a list and is slow with it but i cant stand the idea of them coming back to harass me again, as if the slander they tell about me to my old neighborhood wasnt enough, all while playing victim. URGHHHHhhhh.

I really hate disclosing my real life issue but i really dont have money to do something about it and i don't want to be in debt to rl friends 'cause they are also broke

Update: we're still short on the goal but I guess a good news is that I figured out how i got found. Some snitch from the old neighborhood saw me and tattled like GOSH that's none of their business, man! Im trying to settle some business with them and im trying not to be violent, gotta keep my private life unsullied

Anyways, been on the process of finding a new home from the listing but so far not enough funds yet.

Update: i, uh, landed myself a job and training starts in about a week from now. We'll see where this will take me

Commission details can be found here

Paypal here

For support, my Patreon here(you'll get a glamrock bonnie sticker!)

Pasting rules here for everybody to see(for my page only. I could only pin one post but i have to paste my rules because there are followers who doesn't know these rules)

RULES FOR NEW COMERS

Most especially if it’s a newly-made account and/or empty blogs or obviously recently filled with with likes from my work to not look empty

*Don’t ask me for requests or free drawings, i only do that for my friends(or announced events)

*Make good first impression(dont just compliment me that won’t work)(whether if it’s dm or ask), otherwise you’ll be labeled as troll alt acc and will be blocked after 3 violations(no notices, no warning). Automatic block for those who intentionally violate rules

*Know my work first before trying to befriend me(genuine interest in my work=genuine interest in me)

*Know im not always nice but will try to keep things friendly as much as possible

*It’s ok to make a mistake, but don’t make the same mistake twice

*Take note i occasionally make 18+ skeleton materials so when you happen to bump into one and it’s totally not your cup of tea, know that it’s on you for not reading this pinned post

*I’m very keen in details, so better get names right if you want me to have a good impression on you

*Don’t do “what’s everyone’s reaction to this” “what do you think of my oc” in my Ask box. Ask one to two characters only because like you, i get tired drawing too. Unless the question including multiple characters of mine is answerable with words then ok

*Note that i answer asks in three ways; with words only(occasional old art for visuals), drawings(static or animated) or not answering at all. So in such case i dont answer immediately with words, then your ask might be answered with a drawing(or with a gif if it’s taking longer, no promises) or has been ignored due to technical difficulties that i don’t want to answer it.

*Do not submit to me your oc that isnt even related to my characters, im not gonna be some advertisement ad to showcase your stuff in my blog even if that’s not your intention and im not an art teacher who you be submitting your art to. Im sorry, i just can’t give any genuine opinion on things i didnt make or not interested in(it requires me to think harder than i should and I don’t want that) but im not saying your art is bad or anything

*Jesus, one ask from one person at a time. If curiosity gets the best of ya, compile it in one ask. Youre giving me quite a workout, kid

*If you get blocked, im sorry, but you didnt read the rules

*Do not ask me for my favorite things because my head usually doesnt keep record of what they are, I would try answer my friends of course

*When sending an ask addressed to a character, make sure they are residents of Avjverse. See the full list here**. Asking a character i don't have will result in a block under the belief youre just deliberately doing it on purpose to spite me. So read for your own sake

**note: not everyone in this list are available for Asks

*auto-block for empty ass blogs with default avatar picture for profile pic cuz ur sus. I suggest putting content in your blogs first other wise dont follow me

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[agentmmayy]

august rotation

sorry for the little delay in posting this! school started up and it’s been hectic, but here’s some of the top songs i had on repeat during the month of august and boy was it a hot month for music 

hold the girl- rina sawayama: this song makes my ears orgasm!!!!!!!!!!! the vocals!!!! the BEAT!!!!! the lyrics!!!!! teach me the words i used to know, reach inside and hold you close, i won’t leave you on your own it’s about healing now and healing your younger self and trying not just to hold onto to who you were but to comfort them and hold them close. the entire song is a love letter to your inner child. everything about it sends me through the roof but especially the absolute magical moment between 3:17-3:30 HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!??!!?!?!?!! INSANE. BITING AND RIPPING THINGS AND CRYING!!!!!!!  

it gets dark - sigrid: this song is so punchy i LOVE it. it’s about finding your own path and self and making a life and reaching those little pitfalls and stumbles but still having hope and learning lessons through them!! it’s about it getting dark so you can see the stars!!!! definitely a montage-worthy song. could definitely picture myself walking down a street or in a moving vehicle/train/bus at night listening to this 

the boys of summer - first aid kit: i love first aid kit so much and honestly? this is how this song was supposed to be sung. no i don’t take criticism. it’s achingly sweet and soft and nostalgic for that last breath of summer august chased away. 

out of my head - first aid kit: imo this is their best song to date. they just keep getting better and better. i couldn’t group it with the previous one because of that. it deserves to have its own little paragraph for me to talk about it. the instruments, the vocals, the lyrics. they know just when to pull back and push harder and it makes for suuuuuch a good listening experience. also the harmonies are *pinches earbud wire like pacha* so good. sometimes you DO have to get out of your head to truly see yourself and wonder who you are and where you’re going. stuck inside my dreaming, falling behind shook me. unrelated but i feel like this is a song i’ve heard in the background of my dreams before

shadows - bears den: @preux-chevalier put me onto this song and i haven’t stopped listening to it since. first of all the strings throughout are gorgeous. i’m always a sucker for a violin. second of all- the devotion woven into every line of this is breathtaking. it’s so earnest and loving and yeah i DO want someone who wants me and all my shadows

if it’s not god - maddie zahm: listen. i was attacked. wig? snatched. it captures that wrestling with religion and beliefs you grew up with and finding your own identity and what/how you want to believe. the line in particular what father picks a few just to leave the rest? SCALPED me. holding onto blorbo-ing this for the tags. but the cover art??????????? HELLO???

lucid dreaming - alice kristiansen: this was just rude. still haven’t recovered. never will. it has the rawness very few songs have that just guts me to the core and scrapes everything out without remorse. i had to sit quietly for a bit and just stare at the wall after my first listen. every lyric hits so fucking hard. the entire song is a repeated sucker punch to the stomach. it leaves me winded and aching. i can’t pin point a favorite lyric or else i’d be putting the entire song on this post but this one in particular made me lose my mind: are you tired? are you sleeping? cause i woke up with your ghost again. but the lyrics aren’t the only part doing the heavy lifting in the song because alice kristiansen’s voice is so delicate and the way she sings every line... literally no one else could perform this song as well as she does and that’s that. 

the watching silence - michael & michelle: this duo has the most delicious harmonies and songs that simultaneously hurt me and comfort me. the chorus is pure perfection and i’ve caught myself singing it multiple times when it’s stuck in my head

canyon moon - andrew mcmahon in the wilderness: talk about songs that make me get up and dance!!!!!!! i literally can’t help myself whenever i listen to this song and for that reason i simply cannot play it whenever i’m working or in the studio. andrew mcmahon delivers banger after banger and this is one of the best ones. i crank that shit up!!!!!!!!!!!!!

dance away the pain - number one popstar: got read to filth by this. i enjoy how hopeful it is and ofc it’s an absolute bop but a very specific one. as @whatdoyoumeanif said, it has sad twerking and disco ball vibes. the type of song you hear for the last call in an empty karaoke bar 

[jerryb2]

I mean….you all knew this was coming ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ : the Star Wars Art of one Mr. Drew Struzan. 

And look, the man has done so much and has such a diverse portfolio that Star Wars is only one very small part of his career. If you want to explore some of his other works, then might I suggest that you check out his website. 

As for me here, we’ll be sticking strictly to his SW art. Now, with that out of the way, here we go…

*cracks knuckles*

I have to admit that before I really started to dig into this, I didn’t realize just how many Bantam Era (and beyond) Star Wars books this man has illustrated. Nearly 50 titles, ranging from novels to comics, short stories & even an RPG supplement. 🤯 

And so, after much consideration, I decided to just pull all the titles that feature his art off my bookshelf and take a few pics for you guys:

First off, I just want to point out that I don’t have every book he’s ever illustrated. Some of them are just harder than hard to find, are hilariously expensive, or I just don’t have an edition that features his art prominently - you’ll see what I mean. Right off the bat though, you can see that he was really hitting his stride in the mid-90′s, with all but a handful of these coming out between ‘94 & ‘99. One of the highlights from this time for me, is The Callista Trilogy.

I just want to stress that The Callista Trilogy is a highlight for me only because of its gorgeous cover art. 🤣 Other than that, this book series needs to go lay down. 

Anyway, the designs are all really striking and even after all these years, absolutely iconic. And you can really see Struzan’s distinct visual style at play here; not a painting in the same vein as something from Dave Doorman, and not a simple trace. Rather, something that is stylized in a very particular, very subtle way, almost to the point where it appears photo-realistic at first glance. Beautiful.

Next up is this trio of trilogies (good use of words, me), collected in these Science Fiction Book Club (SFBC) hardcovers: 

Once again, these covers are just striking, particularly The Black Fleet Crisis. This is actually what I was referring to when I said that I don’t always have the best editions for a Drew Struzan appreciation post. 😅 

Because these are hardcover collections of paperback books, we actually miss out on a good bit of the art. For these SFBC special editions, the publisher just took all three and basically photoshopped the best bits of each one together. The one that suffers the most here is obviously The Corellian Trilogy, where they didn’t even try to blend everything together, and instead just separated everything into columns. I don’t personally mind it (and I do love having the hardcover editions of these books) but if you want to see the covers as they were originally intended, just pickup those mass market paperbacks. 🙂

There’s a lot more to get through, so I’ll just hit the highlights here; even though he didn’t illustrate The Thrawn Trilogy (that was Tom Jung, who I personally think did an okay-ish job at best), he did an absolutely amazing job with the follow-up, The Hand of Thrawn Duology in ‘98 & ‘99:

I’ve always loved these covers. And narratively speaking, they really do serve as one last hurrah on the Bantam Era. Oh, and also please note, Mara Jade on the cover of Vision of the Future, just as Zahn originally described her. ❤❤❤

If you step back and look at Struzan’s work as a whole, it’s all incredibly unified. I bring this up here because even though some of these are books relatively ‘meh’ worthy, Struzan maintained a level of quality that belied the mediocrity contained within. And also to say that he was definitely busy, particularly in 1994:

That’s right - all of these released in ‘94, within a few months of one another. These covers man… *chef’s kiss*

And look I’m sorry, I just can’t help myself: The Crystal Star was a hilarious joke until we all realized they were serious about it. 😳

Alright, that’s a little on the harsh side; it’s not nearly as bad as most make it out to be, and Waru as a source for unlimited power (citation needed 👀😉) isn’t any more ridiculous than the 50 other post-Palpy, hair-brained Imperial schemes that everybody else cooked up, so I guess it fits. And besides, I really wanna be nice to Vonda McIntyre here, but this book was just so so boring. 😴

*clears throat* Moving on, here we have a couple Barnes & Noble hardcover collections of The Jedi Prince Series:

The same thing applies here; cover art photoshopped from across 6 different YA novels to get these. They don’t look bad, far from it. But rather this series has some things that people would rather forget about, namely a supposed son of Palpatine (spoiler: he wasn’t) named Triclops who had - wait for it - 3 eyes. 

Like Tien. From DBZ. Yep. 🤦‍♂️

Moving further down the list, we have yet another pair of iconic cover designs, being I, Jedi (the only Star Wars novel written in the first person, and an appropriate riff on Isaac Asimov’s I, Robot - yes ladies & gentlemen, that is as clever as Star Wars gets) and The New Rebellion.

Classics, no doubt….but for reals, did anybody else ever wonder why the X-Wing on the cover of I, Jedi is missing an S-Foil? Or how that one slipped through??? 👀

Ah, at last we arrive at what is arguably Struzan’s most famous work; the covers for Shadows of the Empire & The Star Wars Trilogy: Special Edition.

It’s hard to overstate just how important Shadows of the Empire really was for Star Wars as a brand. In an era where SW books were already extremely popular, the Shadows of the Empire Multimedia Project basically served as a breakout hit and reignited interest in SW media across the board. This was in no small part due to the striking imagery captured on its cover - are you seeing a pattern here?

This success actually renewed Lucas’ interest in a theatrical re-release of the OT in 1997….which of course, feature more beautiful art from Drew Struzan:

These are my OG Special Edition VHS tapes from back in the day. I watched these so damn much as a kid. In fact, they’re basically the whole reason that I’m here, annoying the shit out of everybody today. 😁

After the Bantam Era concluded & the Star Wars publishing license went to Del Rey, Struzan did progressively fewer pieces for SW media. Here we see his contribution for the latter half of the Last of the Jedi YA series, and his kick-ass cover art for the Darth Maul comic: 

And when I say that Struzan did progressively fewer pieces for Star Wars, I am of course omitting his turn as the poster artist for the freaking Prequel Trilogy: 

Say what you will about the films, but these poster designs are nothing short of genius. 

Look guys, it would be pretty easy for me to downplay Struzan’s Star Wars portfolio as just one small part of his incredible career. But my dudes, this is literally just the tip of the iceberg. The man has been a professional illustrator for over 50 years, and his art has delighted and inspired generations. From Star Wars to Indian Jones, and from Back to the Future to Blade Runner - Drew Struzan has played an integral part in shaping popular culture. 

Here’s to you, sir. 🍻

[sherrybaby14]

Moral of the Story

Summary:  Steve’s girl likes to party all the time and he’s at his wit’s end.  Then he meets you.

Pairing:  Steve Rogers x female reader.

Warnings:  Alcohol, Smut, ANGST

Words:  5k

A/N:  This is for the wonderful @captain-rogers-beard​ challenge. Congrats Doll!  My prompt was “Party all the Time” by Eddie Murphy.

   The music was a bit louder than you would have liked, but at least the song was catchy.   You sipped on your drink as you watched the dance floor, your friend’s waving you over.  

   With a smirk you shook your head and lifted your drink, far too sober to dance.

   “I think they want you to join them?”  A voice boomed in your ear.

   You did a jump as you turned to see a gorgeous blonde next to you.  

   “I don’t want to spill my drink.”  You ran your hands down your now wet dress.

   “Oh Jeez, I’m so sorry ma’am.”  He reached for some cocktail napkins. “Let me buy you another.”

   “It’s okay.”  You began to pat your dress dry.  “It’s probably better on my clothes than down my throat.  I don’t drink often.”

   “Me either.”  He gave a warm smile.  

   “Then why are you in a nightclub?”  You turned to the bar, trying to block out the loud music and not have to yell so much. “Here to pick up women?”

   “A friend invited me.”  His gaze went to the dance floor.

   You followed it and saw he was looking at a dark haired man.  You couldn’t see his face because it was being covered by a gorgeous brunette.  She pulled away and you blinked a few times, she had to be a model, a perfect ten.  

   “I think your friend is going to get lucky.”  You turned back to see his jaw clench up.  

   “Yeah, it looks like it.”  He looked away, there was a pain in his eyes.  “If I can’t buy you a new drink how about a cup of coffee?”  

   “Oh, I don’t think they sell coffee here.”  You shrugged.

   He erupted in laughter and you glanced around, not noticing the punch line.  

   “There’s a diner a block away.”  He leaned against the bar.  “Open twenty four hours.  I know I’m a stranger, but I could get out of here and by the looks of it so could you.”  

   “I’m game.”  You put your glass on the bar and started walking to the door.  

   “I’m Steve by the way.”  He held out his hand.  

   “I know who you are.”  You smiled.  “I think the whole world knows who you are.”  

   A confused look spread across his face.  The brisk nighttime air made your arm get some goosebumps, but you let out a sigh of relief when the music died down.  

   “That’s not the reaction I get from most people who know who I am.”  Steve grabbed his chin.  “Maybe I should grow a beard again.”  

   “Would you rather I asked for an autograph and a selfie?”  You raised an eyebrow, then put the back of your hand to your forehead.  “Oh Captain my Captain?”

   “Alright, I get it.”  Steve laughed.  “So what’s your story?  I guess your the one whose the stranger here.”

   “It’s not like I know everything about you, just the headlines.”  You winked.  “Workaholic, I love my job, it keeps me busy.  In my free time I do the basics,  read, watch movies, attempt and fail at the newest workout craze.”  

   “Pilates man.”  Steve pulled the diner door open.  “It’s a lot harder than it looks.”

   “I fall in every yoga position.”  You followed Steve as he slid into a booth.  “Zumba was fun, but I’m lacking in rhythm.”  

   “You?”  Steve’s eyes went wide.  “You look like you would be a great dancer.”

   “I’m great at a lot of things.”  You flipped over your mug.  “But bad at more.”  

   “I’m really bad at board games.  I flipped the board last time I played Monopoly.”  Steve leaned back in the booth.  “But I am amazing at tic-tac-toe.”  

   “Oh yeah?”  You reached in your purse and pulled out a pen, drawing the lines on a napkin.  “Prove it?”

~~

“Even with all this coffee and stimulating conversation.”  You brought your hand to your mouth to stifle the yawn.  “Exhaustion is setting in.  I’ve got to get to bed.”

“How far do you live from here?”  Steve reached for his wallet.  “It’s almost 4 am.  Can I walk you home?”  

“Four am?”  You hadn’t checked your phone since you told your friends you were safe after vanishing, that was five hours ago.  

Sure enough the device read 3:56.  

“Damn.”  You grabbed a menu.  “Might as well order breakfast then.”  

Steve looked shocked, but then nodded in agreement, not pulling a menu. The server took notice and came over.  

“I’ll have a meat lovers skillet, side of country gravy, sub American cheese, eggs over easy, wheat toast?”  You but the menu back.  

“I’ll have the same.”  Steve leaned forward.

“Really?” The waitress was confused. “Not the usual?”

“I’m being adventurous tonight.”  Steve winked.  

“Okay.”  She walked away.

“I like the way you know what you want.”  Steve leaned back.  “Kind of no nonsense.  It’s refreshing.”  

“I wouldn’t say that.”  You laughed.  “Maybe when it comes to diner food at 4 am.  I’ve been eating my whole life after all.”  

“So why isn’t there anyone special in your life?”  Steve almost seemed fidgety.  

“There’s lots of special people in my life.”  You smiled.  “I’m very close with my parents, my siblings, have some great friends I’d call family, my coworkers are amazing too.”

“That’s not what I meant.”  Steve’s eyes showed a strange wave of vulnerability.  

“No reason.”  You wished you had a better answer.  “I’ve dated plenty, had some serious partners, some not so serious.  I guess I’m picky? What about you?”

“The friend who invited me to the club tonight, it was the girl.”  Steve gave a pressed smile.  “We were very serious, she broke it off about two months ago.  Wanted to try being friends.  I agreed to give it a go.  I don’t see how it’s going to work.”  

The perfect 10 brunette.  Your heart started to ache for the man.  He was heartbroken.  It was all over his face, body language.  Everything clicked.  

“What a bitch.”  You brought your hand to your mouth and looked at him with wide eyes.  

He laughed and you relaxed.

“There you go, being honest and direct again.”  Steve put his elbows on the table.  “I don’t think people can be friends with exes.  It’s not in the cards.”  

“I’ve never tried.”  You were more of the it’s done it’s done type.  “My philosophy is look forward.  The future.  Thinking about the past, it’s a dangerous trap.”  

“I’m starting to think the same thing.”  Steve’s eyes lit up.  “She is a big party girl, I mean, she’s a model so sometimes its a networking thing.  But I never really fit into her life.”  

“Wait, were you guys like a tabloid couple?”  You tilted your head. “Can I read all about your breakup on instagram?”  

“No!” Steve rolled his eyes.  “That was part of the problem.  I think she wanted that.  Being with me could elevate her career and it made me feel used, so I wouldn’t allow public photos. There’s a few that leaked, but nothing confirming our relationship.”

“Wow, you celebrities are a different breed.”  It never once crossed your mind to post about who you were having coffee with.

“I am not a celebrity.”  Steve wagged a finger at you.  

“Oh I’m sorry.”  You brought your hand to your chest.  “Historical figure.”

Steve cracked up.  His laugh was infectious and you joined, chuckling away.  

“Without being too forward young lady,” Steve reached out and grabbed your hand, sparks shooting down your arm.  “Could I have your telephone number?”  

You knew he was bating you for a joke.  But you preferred the natural type.  

“Yes.”  You reached for your phone, breaking the hand touch.  “You can have my number.”

~~

Noon hit and you forced yourself out of bed, six hours of sleep was doable.  You began to make your mental checklist of projects for the day while you brushed your teeth.  

There was a giddy ness in the back of your mind over last night.  He was a cool guy and it was a fun time.  Your brain started to think about work.  You had to call your parents and check in, probably explain to your friends about where you went, you would leave out the Captain America angle.  

You grabbed your phone and your jaw about hit the floor.  There was a text from Steve already.  

Are you going to say good morning?  

You didn’t think you would hear from him for at least a few days.  It made you smile and wiggle as you sat on the bed.  

Good morning!  Or afternoon?  

Before you set the device down the reply bubbles started to form.   You parted ways seven hours ago.  It was a Saturday.  This was unexpected.   The bubbles disappeared and then reappeared several times.   You were on the edge of your seat.  

Then your phone started to vibrate.  You almost threw the thing, seeing Steve’s name pop up. Instead your smile grew as you slid it to answer.

“Was good afternoon not appropriate?  Technically it’s 12:15, that is literally after noon.”  You tried to stifle the excitement.

“You want to have a beer with me tonight?”  Steve’s voice was just as sexy over the phone.  “I would say dinner, but I know you had some things to take care of.  There’s this sports bar I love,  I promise I won’t spill anything on you and coffee keeps us up too late.”  

“I’d love to.”  You didn’t see a point in trying to act coy.  

“Great, nine o’clock?  I’ll text you the address.”  Steve’s smile carried over the phone.  

“Sounds like a plan.”  You ran your hand over your hair and wondered if you could get away without washing it.  

“Have a great day.  I”ll see you tonight.”  

“Bye.”  You clicked off the phone and did a little happy dance.  

You didn’t see that one coming.  

Your phone lit up with Steve’s message right away.  You sent a thumbs up emoji.  To your surprise, Steve responded:

Emojis, it’s like hyrogliphics are coming back?  Why did we skip the sonnets?

You didn’t even think before responding.

You: Shall I compare thee to a Summer’s Day?  Thou art more lovely and temperate.  

Steve: Sonnet 18, one of the greats.

You: I stole it from Clueless.  

Steve: What’s Clueless?

~~

You woke the next morning, at your normal 8 am.  Even more thrilled with the date from the night before.   It was fun.  It was a fantastic time.  Of course the texting all day long made the conversation flow right to person-to-person.  

“I can’t sleep until noon tomorrow.”  You stood up from the bar stool.  “Plus I hit my three beer maximum.  Maybe once I know you better you can meet four beer me.”  

“You’re guarded in the strangest ways.”  Steve beamed at you.  

“Me?”  You were shocked.  “I’m an open book. Nothing to hide.”

“Well would this bother you then?”  Steve cupped your cheek and before you could react his face leaned in.

Warm lips met yours.  You melted into him, your body felt like it was floating.  Nobody in the bar paid you any attention as his tongue slid into your mouth before pulling out.  A little moan came forward when he pulled away.  

There was a devilish grin on his face as he grabbed your hand and kissed your knuckles.  

“Let’s get you an Uber.”  

All you could do was nod in a numb state.  This amazing man kissed you.  It was like a dream.  

You were all smiles as you rolled out of bed, straight to the bathroom.  Sundays were your lazy day, but you missed too much yesterday that you had to squeeze some work in.  It wouldn’t be too much.  

When you left the bathroom you grabbed your phone.  Your heart exploded when you saw there was already a text from Steve.  

Today you can say good morning.  I have faith.  

~~

Steve Rogers was perfect.  Three dates in a week, not including coffee night.  Every other day he wanted to see you.  He made you laugh, listened to you, was always available.  Sent you little comics you found funny.   You giggled at the last gif he sent you of a puppy eating bubble.

You: I’ve got to head into a work meeting.  I’ll text you later.  

Steve: Knock ‘em dead.  

Supportive too.  You smiled as you slipped your phone into your pocket.  It had only been a week, but you couldn’t remember the last time you connected with someone this way, if ever.

“You’re smiley.”  A coworker bumped you with her arm.  “It’s almost like you have a glow.”

“Just a happy person.”  You shrugged.  “How is your son doing? Any luck on that math test?”

“Oh he did much better!”  Your coworker dropped her shoulders in relief.  “That tutor was worth every penny.”

She continued to talk and you tried to listen, but your thoughts kept drifting to Steve.  This was the best week of your life.

~~

The meeting got your adrenaline pumping.  You left and went straight to your office, typing away the e-mails, ready to get the new project off the ground.   It was almost time to call it a day, the sun was starting to set.  

That was when you picked up your phone.  Two messages from Steve.  Fuck.  Guilt set in.  

How was the meeting?  

Everything okay?

You grabbed your phone and started typing.

You: Sorry work got crazy.  Major project.  Just leaving now.  

Steve: Do you want to over to my place for dinner?  Unwind?  I can have a meal and some wine for you, straight away?  

Unwinding with Steve sounded perfect, plus you were more interested in the version that didn’t involve a meal.  

You looked down at your work clothes, your makeup probably long smeared off,  but did that matter?  Steve didn’t seem to care about your appearance.  He wanted you for who you were.   And right now that sounded perfect.

You: Do you have ice cream?  

Steve: Oh my freezer is overflowing.  Any flavor you like.  Popsicles too.  

You: I’m in.  Text me your address?  

~~

Every other time you arrived at a paramour’s place for the first time you were nervous.  Not this time.  Your brain played a slide show of the last week.  The way Steve listened, hung on your words, followed up with questions.  He made you feel like the most important person in the world.  

Your past experiences taught you that people were either fantastic talkers or listeners.  You prided yourself on being both, but Steve seemed to fall in that same category.  

With a strange confidence you hit the buzzer for his apartment.  The door unlocked and you walked up the stairs, speeding up with each step.  

When you got to his floor you spotted him hanging out the door, waving at you.  This was going to be the hard part.  

“Before I step inside, I have to let you know something.”  You rehearsed this in your head a few times.  “Work was insane today, and I know tomorrow is Saturday, but I have to put in a few hours.  This happens about twice a year, not a common occurrence.  But as much as I want to, I can’t spend the night.”  

“Okay.” Steve nodded and held the door open.  “Again I love your honesty.”  

You walked in to see all the only lights on in the apartment two candles on the clothed kitchen table.  Your heart started to sink at the thought he’d put into it, but then you noticed the meal set out at each end and began to laugh.  

“Full disclosure,  all I had was some TV dinners.”  Steve came behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist.  “And there’s no ice cream or popsicles.  But I can think of something I want for dessert.”

You spun around and put your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a deep kiss.   He reached underneath you and scooped you up.  You wrapped your legs around his waist as he carried you, deepening the kiss.  

Nothing had ever felt so right in your life.  It was as if the cosmos had brought you together.  

“You’re too perfect.”  You pulled away as he dropped you on the bed.  

“You’re a one-in-a-million.”  Steve’s breath was heavy as he started to pull at your clothing.  

Hands were everywhere, lips randomly touching whatever skin they could.  Shoes and socks flying off with pants and shirts.  You shoved his boxers down as he unhooked your bra, the feeling of your bare chests pushed together making you shudder.  

Steve grabbed your panties and yanked them down as you settled back on his bed.  On your back, legs spread, knees up.  His arm encircled your thigh as he began to kiss.  You moaned and fisted the blanket, lifting your pelvis up inviting his mouth.  

He wasted no time and began to devour you. You tried to pay attention to what he was doing, but you couldn’t keep up.  Was that his tongue? His lips?  You cried out when something slid inside of you.  

“FUCK!”  Your body convulsed around his mouth.  

Your chest heaved while your brain tried to keep up with the pleasure.  Steve kept licking, touching, working you.  Everything was frenzied.   Your head collapsed to the side and you tried to regain control.  

“I knew you were primed.”  Steve kissed up your stomach.  “But you have one more in you.”  

He climbed until he was over you, his cock lining up with your entrance.  Never had you came that fast from another person.

Steve pushed forward and filled your aching pussy.  You squealed and grabbed onto his shoulders.   Rolling your body against his.  

“That’s it.”  He nipped at your neck.  “You were meant for me.  Never felt this way before.”  

You grabbed his face and pulled his lips to your own, enjoying the taste of yourself on him while he railed into you.  He returned the kiss and sped up.  Slamming his cock, teasing your clit while your g-spot came to life.  

There was no hiding your moans and his grunts as your bodies melded together.   Your breath started to tighten, and then your muscles started.  The edge came fast and you flung yourself over.  

Your head went back into the pillow as your screamed,  it was impossible to tell if your vision went black since the room was too dark.  But Steve let out a grunt and pulled out of you.

Instead of blowing all over your stomach he pushed your head down.  You slid down the bed and opened your mouth.  

His aim was perfect and for the second time you tasted yourself, enjoying the way he finished in your mouth, letting your lips wrap around his tip.  Drinking him all down while your body shook.  

“I think I’m falling in love.”  Steve pushed forward before pulling out and landing on his back.  

You nodded, breathless as you curled up to him.   He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close, kissing the top of your head.  

You ignored the tears forming in your eyes, fighting them away.  If pure happiness existed, this was it.  How did you get so lucky?

~~

Steve: I’m going to hug my pillow all night wishing it was you.  

You glanced at the clock, it was already approaching midnight.  

You: I’m sorry I couldn’t stay.  Thank you for a wonderful night and a gourmet meal.

Steve: Get some sleep.  I miss you.  

You: I miss you too.

You grabbed your pillow.  If Steve was pretending his was you, maybe you could do that same.  A huge smile on your face as you drifted off.

~~

You woke with a smile.  Maybe Smiley could be your new nickname.  You grabbed your phone eager to see what Steve had sent. To your surprise, there was no message.

All week long you’d woken up to messages.  You smiled even bigger, maybe you’d finally worn him out and the man needed more sleep than you did.

You rolled out of bed to brush your teeth, thoughts filled with nothing but Steve.

~~

Work was so intense, you turned your phone off.  No distractions.  When the team broke for lunch you flipped it on, your heart racing to see Steve’s messages.  When the screen came to life you saw nothing.  

Maybe it was wrong?  Messages glitched sometimes.  You clicked the app open, all you saw was your last message.  It said read at 12:03 am.  

You shrugged it off.  Steve knew you had a big work day.  He was being respectful.  You thought about texting him, but you had to get back to it and didn’t want to come off as needy.  It wasn’t like you could text him all afternoon.  

~~

The project finished an hour early, 4 pm on a Saturday.  Everyone gave themselves a round of applause and you did a lazy golf clap as you reached for your phone.  

Your heart exploded when you saw a message from Steve.

Steve: How was your day?

You: Good.  I have so much to tell you!

There was no bubble response, or read receipt.  You stared at your phone.  Maybe turning it off had been a bad idea.  

After saying goodbye to your colleagues and walking to you subway stop your phone dings with a message.

Steve: Can we meet for coffee?  

You giggled.

You: Why not dinner?  The real kind this time.  It was a big day for me!  I want to celebrate, you can supply dessert again.  

Steve: Coffee.  Now?  First night?

Maybe he had a big day too.  He’d been so supportive of you, it was due to return the favor.

You: Sure.  I’ll be there in twenty.  

You headed to the other subway line, more than eager for a sleepover tonight.  

~~

When you arrive at the diner you scan it, not seeing Steve anywhere.  Maybe you beat him here.   You were about to grab a random booth when a man in a black hoodie, baseball hat, and sunglasses sticks his hand in the air.  

You smile, wondering if this is some Avenger’s mission.

“Are you going as the Unabomber for Halloween?”  You slide into the booth.  “I couldn’t even recognize you.”

“There’s no easy way to say this.”  Steve cracked his jaw.  “Ashley called me last night.  Very upset.”

“Whose Ashley?”  You blurted out the first thought that came to your mind.

“My ex.”  He let out a huge sigh.  “She’s a mess.”

“The bitch from the club?”  You were a little interested in the drama.

“She’s not a bitch.”  Steve put his hands on the table and your blood ran cold.  “She has some problems.  She is working on them.  And we have a lot of history and she needs my help.”

“Oh.”  You felt like your soul floated out of your body.

“You’re so perfect.”  He reached out and grabbed your hands.  “But she needs me.  You don’t need me.  We have a lot of history and I owe it to her to try.”  

“Oh.”  Everything went numb.

“I wanted to let you know in person and before things got too serious.”  Steve squeezed your hand.  “If I could take back last night, I wouldn’t.  It was perfect,  you’re perfect.”

“You already said that.”  Your voice was getting tight.  

“But I mean it.”  He pushed the hood off his baseball cap.  “I can’t leave her.  Without me, I mean, you saw her at the club that night.  She’s a disaster.”  

The tears started to boil in your throat they were so deep.  You yanked your hands away, thoughts flying to wild to speak clearly.  You didn’t know if you wanted to scream at him or plead with him to pick you.  

“I hope we can stay friends?”  He let out a sigh.  “I mean, you’re amazing and you made me so happy this past week.  Probably the happiest I’ve been in my entire life.  You’re smart, and witty, and beautiful, and you’re everything.”

The way he said week hit home.  It was only a week.  Not a month, not a year.  Just a week.  A lot of digs ran through your mind, ways you could make a joke, ways you could state your feelings.  But instead you said one thing.

“Sure.”  Your brain started to scream at itself.  

“That’s such a relief.”  Steve dropped his shoulders.

“I had a really long day.”  You stood up from the booth.  “Talk soon?”

You didn’t look back as you ran to the door, the tears spilling over. With a shaky hand you pulled out your phone, screaming at yourself for being so stupid to develope feelings, but smart enough to do one thing.  You highlighted his contact and clicked delete.  

~~

Friends, family, whoever would talk had to listen to you cry.  You didn’t hold back for them.  You made sure they alternated duty.   You even took a week off of work.

“If I would have stayed that night, would he have ignored her?”  You sobbed to your best friend.  

“No hunny.”  She ran a hand through your head.  “No.  You got caught in a weird game.”  

~~

Steve: How do you kill a circus?

It’s a random number not saved to a contact, but you know that’s the first text you get from Steve.  You know the punchline, but rather than responding you delete it.  The last thing you want is to memorize his number.  

You would’ve broken down and sent some very dumb stuff you would’ve regretted.  It’s only been five days.  He should send his girlfriend those jokes, not you.  

~~

Three days later you get  another.

Steve: How are you?

You think about deleting it, you think about screaming you broke my heart, acting cool like you’re busy, or just gushing about how much you miss him and what a great guy his is.  

You: Fine.

Steve: Glad to hear.

You don’t hesitate to delete the thread.

~~

Steve: I miss you.

Your heart races.  It’s been two weeks since the night you had the best sex of your life.  The tears sting your eyes.  You’ve been apart longer than you were together.   Did he realize he made a mistake?  Was he coming back to you?

You start typing: I miss

But then you stop.  No.  You had to frame this right.  State it right.  But what was there to do? Yell at him into loving you?  Did you love him?  Your heart hurt like it had, but this was wrong.  

With a shaky finger you highlighted the number and moved it to block.  The sobs came again and you cuddled your phone, regretting your choice.

~~

The day you hit the month mark you were trying not to think about Steve, but then the celebrity hit:  CAPTAIN AMERICA ENGAGED!  It ran all over the headlines.  

Him and his fiance were plastered everywhere.  You couldn’t escape.  It hit you then.  You were a rebound.  You were nothing.  A temporary step on his life path.  It hurt.  It hurt more than anything.  No ice cream could repair the hole one week with Steve Rogers had created.

~~

“I’m glad we got you out tonight.”  Your friend poked you in the side as she screamed in your ear.  “What’s it been, months since you’ve been in a club?”

“Yep.” Two, but you tried not to think about how your last time in a nightclub ended, how it could derail your life.  “But I’m here.”

You still hated the loud music.  Memories of a sports bar with Steve tried to come forward, but you buried them before they could.  

“Let’s dance!” She grabbed your hand.  

“Not yet.”  You yanked it away.  “In a few drinks.”

“I’ll wait with you.”  She settled next to you.  “But that dance floor is inviting.”

The bodies were moving and you scanned the area.  Your eyes bulged when you spotted a familiar face, tongue down a mouth.  

“Is that…..is that Captain America’s fiance?”  Your friend grabbed your arm,  you never told them the mysterious Steve’s last name.   “She’s not kissing Cap.”

She pulled out her phone ready to take a picture, but you put your hand out and lowered her arm.  

A wave of clarity rushed over you.  

“His girl wants to party all the time.  He buys her champagne and diamonds.”  A weird smile settled over you.  “He thinks he can fix her.”

That was the problem.  You didn’t need fixing.  And if you ever did you would figure it out for yourself, with the support of people around you.  Steve hit the nail on the head when he said you didn’t need him.  You never would.

“Go dance.”  You gave your friend a playful spank on the ass.  

For the first time in two months you felt like yourself and turned back to the bar hoping to block the music.  

A finger tapped your shoulder and you looked up with no jump.

“It’s loud in here.”  A handsome man with dark hair looked down at you.

“There’s a coffee shop a block away.”  You stood up.  “Can I buy you a cup?”

“Yes.” He nodded and set his drink down.  

“What’s your name?”  You yelled over the music.

“Stephen.”  He was right behind you.  

“Do you go by Steve and what are your thoughts on needy women?”  You pushed open the door to the club.

The air was hot and you rolled your shoulders back, embracing the lack of obnoxious music.

“If I went by Steve I would have introduced myself that way.”  His intense eyes glared at you.  “And I am a surgeon.  Everyone I encounter is needy.  I don’t have time for it in my personal life.”

You stifled your laughter at the response.   At least Steve had taught you to speak your mind.  Having a flashback to leaving the bar with him.  

“Well Mr. Stranger,  I will never need you.”  You grinned at him.  “Except for good conversation and occasional support.”

“It’s actually Doctor Strange.”  He chuckled.  “I think that’s the first time I laughed in months.”

“Tell me about it...literally.” You kicked at the sidewalk.  “How do you kill a circus?” 

The man scoffed at you and then wiped off his sleeves.  

“You go for the juggler of course.”  

[starrynite7114]

Body Art (Angel Reyes)

A/N: Good morning everyone! This was done last night, but work was insane and I didn’t have a chance to post it. Hope you all enjoy this one. It was one of my requests that I have not had the chance to do. But I finally got to do it! I’m making my way through my request list right now, so hopefully I’ll get everyone’s request done soon. 

The request list link is below, please check if your request is there, if it is now, let me know so I can put it in! Still currently taking requests if you all would like to make one. 

Art smut with angel Reyes! He asks you to let him do body art on you. All front and you’re wearing panties right and he asks you to take your bralette/ bra off and he’s like woah and yea lol - @cherry-icetea​

Sorry it took so long love! Hope you enjoy! <3

Enjoy!

Masterlist

Request List tagged list: @justahopelessssromantic : @ifoundmyhappythought : @iambabyharry : @everyhowlmarksthedead : @briana-mishell24 : @bribri-82 : @briannab1234 : @carlaangel86 : @twistnet : @marvelmaree : @blackmissfrizzle : @thickemadame : @woahitslucyylu : @chibsytelford : @agirllovespasta : @sesamepancakes : @enamoured-x : @encounterthepast : @trulysuccubus : @jadert15 : @elcococruz : @gemini0410 : @cherry-icetea : @claytoncardenasbabymama : @sadeyesgf : @xserenax-13 : @whyisgmora : @samcrobae : @summertimesadnesswithadashofsass : @sheeshgivemeabreak : @lady-pswrld

You and Angel have been quarantined together for a month. 

While you two enjoyed the other’s company, the movies and television shows to binge on was slimming down. You both loved nature and craved to be outside. You missed being able to just walk outside without a worry.

But you also knew not to be selfish. 

This was for the better and it was going to save lives. 

But you both were surprised that you haven’t wanted to kill one another. Surprisingly enough, you two enjoyed one another’s company and gave the other space when needed. You two shared a two bedroom apartment. It was nice to share your apartment with a friend, especially one you met through your ex-schoolmate Ezekiel. You and Ezekiel had become close during your first semester at Stanford and when you found out of his fate, you visited him weekly. He didn’t close you off and you were thankful for that. One time you came and his family was there, you met his big brother, Angel and his father Felipe. 

The attraction to Angel was immediate, but you kept everything at bay since you both were in different places.

But somehow, four years after meeting, you found yourself in Santo Padre. While you two texted often, you didn’t hang out with Angel much. When he offered to room with you when you immediately moved to Santo Padre, you were hesitant at first, but you realized that there was no other person you would want to room with besides Angel. 

Work brought you to Santo Padre. Currently, you were a teacher at the high school. It was nerve wrecking since teenagers could be little shits, but somehow, they enjoyed your world history facts that you always taught them.

Living with Angel was a delight. He always brought you home food when he could and helped you cook when he could. He did your laundry for you when he was doing his. Always made sure your oil was changed for your car and everything. And it was always a plus to see Angel walking around shirtless. That man was a god and if you just had some guts, you would jump him, but there was always this unspoken thing between you two. EZ was his younger brother and you were EZ’s best friend, you two were just not allowed to be together, for EZ’s sake.

Regardless, that didn’t mean your attraction was nonexistent. Angel was very attracted to you, and he has been for years, but his promise to his brother always trumped his desire for you.

However, with this quarantine in place and the time he spent with you, Angel found it harder to resist you. Walking in those booty shorts of yours that showed off your assets. He was a strong man, but there was just so much he could take.

One of the best things about living with Angel was the artwork. He painted your room, the artwork suited you so well. You loved watching Angel paint. Your favorite thing to do was reading a book while Angel painted on the ground, concentrating on his next masterpiece. If this outlaw biker thing didn’t work, he could totally open up a gallery. 

Currently, you both were on the couch, finishing up the Punisher. Angel had his head on your lap, as you watched the show intently, digging the storyline and enjoying the eye candy.

“This show is amazing.” You praised it as the ending credits came on.

Angel clicked his tongue. “Or you mean the guys are hot?”

“Don’t be jealous Ignacio, you’re still the apple of my eye.” You pinched his cheek, causing Angel to push your hand away, but he chuckled, loving the feel of your skin on his. It was pathetic really, but he promised EZ he would never fall for you. He thought that maybe EZ was in love with you, but that didn’t seem to be the case.

“Want to take a break from watching?”

“Sure, what you got in mind? If you say let’s fuck, I’m going to slit your throat.”

“I love it when you threaten me.” Angel chuckled, sitting up. “Want to help me paint?”

“You know I don’t have an ounce of talent for art in my body.” You’ve painted with Angel a few times and he always told you how you were getting better, but you somehow doubted that. Angel was a great teacher, really nice too. Maybe if he didn’t want to do the art gallery, he could definitely be a teacher. 

“No, let me paint you.” Angel really enjoyed your presence whenever he was painting, he felt inspired and encouraged whenever you were around. 

Angel has never requested to paint you before. Wait, that’s a lie, he has numerous times but you always shut him down and made an excuse to leave. He knew that you wouldn’t be able to make an excuse today. You were stuck at home after all.

“Me? No way.” You shook your head. “I feel like we can FaceTime someone and you can paint them instead.” 

“Come on mi dulce, I’ve always wanted to paint you.” He took your hand in his, trying to ignore the butterflies and the spark that just coarse through your body.

“Angel, let me FaceTime Kristin, remember how hot you thought she was?” You were really trying to get out of this as best as you can. You couldn’t keep still and there was no point in painting you.

He recalled making that comment, but he only said it to get a reaction out of you, which obviously didn’t work. “Nope, I want you.” The way he said it, it made the butterflies in your stomach move around even more wildly than before. 

“Can you just not paint me and say you did?” You offered.

“You don’t trust me?”

“No, I’m just shy.” 

Angel smirked. “Shy? You don’t have to be shy with me.” He stood up, taking your hand and taking you to his room. “Do me a favor mama, strip to your bra and panty.”

“What?!” You crossed your arms over your chest.

“Come on baby girl, you won’t be fully naked.” He tried to ease your shyness.

“Alright fine, but I expect to be compensated for this.” You were comfortable with your body, but this was also Angel who most likely has seen so many beautiful girls naked. And he may have also slept with you before, it was a drunken night which you remembered well however, you weren’t sure if he did. He’s never mentioned it and you didn’t want to be the one to do so.

As you took off your clothing, Angel immediately regretted asking you to be his model. He’s always imagined how you would look in your unmentionables and he was beginning to forget about his promise to EZ and well, he was fucking forgetting EZ. 

He’s seen it all before. He was buzzed that night, but he definitely wasn’t drunk. At times, you haunted his dreams, seeing you naked could make any man go crazy and it fucked up Angel. He didn’t even know how to approach the subject and quite frankly, since you didn’t mention it, he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to embarrass you or himself.

That one night three months, two weeks, and five days ago was embedded in his mind. He never told EZ about it knowing it would upset his younger brother. But seeing you before him now, Ezekiel could go fuck himself.

“Angel?” You broke him away from his thoughts, biting your lip nervously.

“Sorry, fuck.” He chuckled. “You look fucking gorgeous, querida.”

God when this man spoke Spanish? Used a term of endearment for you in Spanish? It made your thighs clench together because all you wanted to do since that night maybe 3-4 months ago, was fuck Angel again. But with his relationship with EZ just being repaired again, you didn’t want to have them fighting over this. You understood why EZ was protective of you, you technically just had him, but it was also quite annoying.

“Thanks.” You smiled shyly. “How do you want me?”

“You want to lay down? Just so it’ll be more comfortable.”

“Sure.”

Laying down on the floor, Angel looked at your bralette which was burgundy at the area of the cups with flowers branching up from the sides, the bottom of the bralette was black lace. Angel bit his bottom lip, thinking of how he could connect your bra to your panties. Your panties were burgundy, matching your bralette, with lace at the top of your underwear.

You watched as Angel’s eyes roamed up and down your body. It was comfortable, oddly, not creepy whatsoever, but then again, this was Angel. Even though he had this intimidating presence, he was a fucking teddy bear that loved affection and being spoiled.

“Can you at least give me a pillow?” You requested.

Angel chuckled, handing you a pillow. “Don’t know if I told you yet, but you look absolutely stunning.” He began to feel nervous, unsure if he could actually do this. But he reasoned that of course he could, why wouldn’t he be able to do so? He was an artist, he could push his desire for you to the side while he was touching your body. 

Fuck. He was screwed.

Taking out the paint for him to use, he picked burgundy, white, green and a light shade of blue. He had this picture in his mind that he wanted to portray on your body, but all he could picture was having you naked, your sweaty body against his, you breathily moaning, gasping out his name. He shook his head, trying to concentrate. He could paint on you, this was going to be easy. 

Angel began to paint on the black lace of your bralette, a giggle escaping your lips. He chuckled, forgetting how ticklish you were. This whole quarantine has been ridiculous, but he never knew how much he would enjoy life just being at home, but that had a lot to do with you. At first you had offered EZ to stay with you two, but EZ insisted on staying with Felipe. Angel didn’t mind, he wanted you all to himself. Even though you two have been roommates, he didn’t know much about you. He barely found out that you were afraid of heights even though you went hiking with him whenever you two had the chance to do so. He also didn’t know you could handle your liquor better than any of the fucking guys, which thoroughly impressed him. He also didn’t know that you have four tattoos, all on your back, that represented major events in your life. 

He also didn’t know how much he’s been avoiding his feelings for you till he was stuck at the apartment with you with nowhere to go.

“Is this the set I got you for Christmas?” You asked him as he began his work on you.

“Yeah, it was. I’ve used a majority of the set except for this.” Christmas, it was three days after that you two slept together. Angel woke up and you weren’t in his bed anymore. He was going to bring it up, but it seemed every time he tried, it just never happened. “Do you remember what happened a few days later?”

“When we got plastered and played a prank on EZ?”

It was a few hours before you two slept together. EZ was sleeping so you and Angel had the idea of using a feather and shaving cream, tickling EZ on certain spots on his face till he was fully covered. EZ didn’t wake up till Gilly and Coco busted out in laughter when they walked into EZ covered with shaving cream.

“Oh yeah, good times.” Angel chuckled. You felt his fingers moving across your stomach, spreading the paint. “Why are you so tense?”

“Cause I’m trying not to be ticklish.”

“Or maybe I make you nervous?” You could hear the smugness in his voice.

“Nervous? For what?”

Fuck it.

“I don’t know, you tell me mi dulce.” He moved on your other side, to paint that side. It wasn’t his best work, but he just wanted to touch you. “So do you remember that night?”

“I remember bits and pieces of it.” You were being truthful, but it seemed that Angel was trying to have that long awaited talk. It’s not like you didn’t want to discuss it, you just didn’t know where to start. 

‘Hey, remember the time we fucked? Just wanted to let you know that you’re the best fuck I’ve ever had.’

Yeah, that would go over well.

“Do you remember when we had sex?” Angel was playing it nonchalant, painting random patterns on your skin. He wasn’t even sure what he was doing anymore, but he just needed something to distract him, in case you rejected him. 

“Yes, I do.”

“Why’d you leave me alone on my bed?”

“Come on Angel, you don’t want to have this conversation.” You didn’t. Angel always seemed forbidden and they were so right that forbidden fruit tasted so much fucking better. You were certain that you and Angel had sex at least four times that night. 

“I do, you don’t? I promised Ezekiel that I would never make a move on you, but to be fucking honest, I don’t really give a fuck anymore.” Angel noticed then that he had painted angel wings below the lace of your bralette. He bit his lip, just thinking of how beautiful you would look with something he created tattooed on you. 

“What are you talking about?” You slightly sat up, looking over at Angel. He softly pushed you back down so he could continue painting, or whatever the fuck he was doing.

“I like you, I’ve liked you for quite some time but I haven't made a move cause Ezekiel asked me not to.”

You were speechless, unsure of what to reply. You like Angel too, but you were wondering if he just liked you now cause there was no one else to sleep with. But he wouldn’t say those words to you just to get in your pants, it would ruin everything. 

“You're kind of making me nervous here.” Saying his feelings aloud made Angel feel vulnerable, made him feel terrified of what the outcome could be.

“I’ve liked you for some time too, but I just figured you didn’t want to cross the line and I could respect that. I left you in bed that morning because I’m not good with rejection. We were both intoxicated and needed some release, I was cool with that.” You truthfully told him. “I think you’re an idiot for listening to Ezekiel.”

The brush strokes stopped and before you knew it, Angel was hovering over you, his lips on yours. His lips were warm, just as you remembered, parting slightly along with yours, his tongue slipping in your mouth. Your hands were on his neck, scratching the back of it. He groaned into your mouth before he pulled away. His eyes roamed down your body, biting his lips as he did.

“Fuck baby, can I take off your clothes?” His voice was so intoxicating, it became deeper. You remembered his voice the most that night. Angel was very vocal, which didn’t surprise you. His mouth made you fucking go insane.

You nodded your head. Angel removed your bralette, licking his lips as his thumb played with your nipple, grazing it softly before rolling it in between two fingers. You bit back a moan, arching into his touch. You’ve slept with a few people after Angel and you were upset how he ruined other men for you. Angel knew your body so well, that one night fucking ruined you and you honestly weren’t even mad about it.

“Are you wet baby girl?” His hand drifted down to your underwear, his art work was slowly being lost with every movement of his fingertips against your skin, but he didn’t care. Your body was art for him, the way you were taking a breathy gasp was music to his ear. He couldn’t wait to hear your moans again. He’s fucked other women after you and he would call out your name, even though the moans, the scent, the feel wasn’t the same.

“Yes,” you answered. 

Angel’s fingers slipped underneath your underwear, running a finger up and down your slit. Circling your clit a few times, you moaned out his name, feeling yourself become wetter with every touch. He slipped a finger inside you, pulling it out and adding another when he slipped it back in. Your legs voluntarily widened, accommodating him as he kneeled in front of you. He slipped your underwear down your legs, you were bare in front of him now and he felt his cock twitched as he watched your pussy swallow his fingers. 

“Are my fingers stretching you enough baby? Preparing you for my cock?” He kissed your lips, moving down your neck, nibbling, marking you as his. Looking down at his artwork that was smeared by his own fingertips, he had to say that it didn’t look terrible whatsoever, your skin was glistening with sweat. “Can I take a picture of you baby, take on my runs?”

All you could feel was Angel’s fingers working their magic on you. His words registered, but as much as you wanted to fight him about having your nakedness on his phone, it was kind of hot. 

“Okay.”

“Yeah baby? Fuck.” Angel got his phone that was on the coffee table, smirking as he opened up the camera app. Your face was covered by your arm, which he didn’t mind. He already had so many pictures of your face, but this was different. He took some pictures before putting his phone away. He felt your pussy clenching as he continued to go in and out, stroking your clit every once in a while. “Oh baby, I feel that. Querida, you cumming?”

“Fuck, yes Angel, holy fuck.” You cried out, back arching as you came.

“For months, I’ve been waiting to see you in this state again, to hear you moaning out my name in a blissful state. Hearing it again, seeing it again, I won’t ever be able to have my fill of you.” He continued to move his finger in and out of you as he said that, helping you through your orgasm. 

“I’m feeling it again,” the feeling was building in your stomach, again. You heard Angel chuckle as he took his fingers away, causing you to whine. 

He took off his shorts and his shirt, sitting against the couch. He pumped himself as you licked your lips, remembering just how good his cock felt inside of you.

“Like what you see?” Angel held his hand out to you.

You nodded your head, crawling over to him. 

“No time for you to suck my dick baby, I need to be inside of you.” He watched as you stood up and slowly squatted in front of him, making him groan. Slowly, you sink down on his cock, stopping every once in a while to adjust to him. He threw his head back, the sensation was incredible. “Look at that pussy stretching to fit my dick.” He rubbed his thumb around your slit, using the wetness to wet it so he could rub your clit. 

Throwing your head back, Angel watched the look of pure pleasure on your face, memorizing it. He knew this wouldn’t be the last time he would have you, like he said, he didn’t care what Ezekiel thought. They were adults, you’re a grown ass woman, EZ could suck it up.

You had your hands on Angel’s shoulder, using it as leverage as you moved up and down his cock. The burn, the stretch, everything about it felt amazing. If there was one thing you remembered vividly about that night all those months ago, it was how well you fit with Angel. Maybe it was cliche to say, but you didn’t care, his cock just felt so damn good.

“You feeling good mi dulce, you missed my dick?”

“Do you ever shut up?” You groaned as you felt your movements speeding up, trying to chase that euphoric feeling. 

“I could, but I know how much you like my filthy mouth.” Angel pulled you against him, your chest against one another. He wrapped his arms around you, trapping you against him. His hips thrusted upward, hard and fast, and you just took in the onslaught, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as your orgasm hit not a few minutes later. He continued to fuck into you, causing you to scratch his sides, moaning out his name over and over again. He slowed down, letting go of you. 

Your head landed on his shoulder, your hand on his stomach. “Give me a minute.”

Angel chuckled. “My dick too much for you baby? Don’t worry, we’re gonna be fucking so much, you’ll learn how to keep up with me.” He kissed your shoulder. “This pussy is mine now, hell, it’s been mine since that night.” He pulled you away from him so that he could kiss you, his tongue entering your mouth. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours, helping you move up and down as his lips touched yours, his breath just hot against your lips. “We sleeping in the same room now baby.”

It wasn’t even a question, it was a statement.

“My room, I don’t like your bed.” You kissed him again. Pulling away, you ran your fingers through your hair.

“Don’t care which room, as long as you’re in my arms.” Angel laid you on your back, bending your knees and holding them at the back. Looking down at where you two were joined, he smirked. “Can’t believe I listened to EZ.”

“Such a good older brother.” You teased Angel. “Shit Angel, go faster.”

“You don’t like this pace baby? You don’t like it when I go slow, taking my time on you?” Angel ran his hands up and down your thighs, moving it down to your stomach as his art was smeared all around. “I wanna design a tattoo for you querida.”

“No, we have time for that later. Fuck me.” Angel chuckled. “If you fuck me good enough then you can design whatever you want for me.”

You saw how Angel’s eyes darkened, he had your legs hanging on his shoulders. He pounded into you, in and out at a fast pace. You slightly regretted challenging Angel, but this felt so fucking good. 

“This hard enough for you baby?” He taunted. 

You nodded your head. “It feels so good.”

“Yeah you do, you feel fucking amazing querida.” Angel groaned. “You look so beautiful underneath me baby, you’re just gripping my dick baby. This is my pussy, ain’t no one else ever going to see you this way from now on. Fuck those puto’s you took home.”

Taking one of his hands that was beside your head, you took his thumb into your mouth, sucking on it before you directed it towards your clit. Angel immediately followed your order and rubbed it.

“You look so good like this.” Your eyes were closed, toes curled, and lips bitten. You hold onto one of his arms, nails digging into his skin and he fucking loved it.

“Angel!” You cried out as your orgasm finally came. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

He followed right after you, moaning out your name as well. He pulled out, the emptiness making you whimper. Angel helped you up, his cum dripping down your leg. He smirked as he watched it go down and you rolled your eyes.

“Such a guy.” You playfully pushed him. 

He wrapped his arms around you from behind, his cock was already semi-hard. 

“You ready for round two, cause we ain’t fucking leaving our bed till at least Monday.”

It was only Thursday.

[unbridgeabledistances]

here is a part 2 of my valentine’s day one-shot from the other day!! part 3 of them actually celebrating is coming fri, but wanted to make it a lil countdown:) also big creds to @udontfuckangie for their post about ian getting mickey stargazer lilies for valentines bc it… truly made me feel so many things and i had to write this

--

Ian didn’t really remember ever celebrating Valentine’s Day for real— not like everyone else in middle school or high school, like when Lip was off buying flowers for girls or Mandy was trying to get the guy she liked to ask her out— but he definitely remembered celebrating it as a kid, when he’d have to scrounge up some shoebox from under his bed and bring it to his overcrowded classroom to cover with colorful construction paper and make shitty valentines to swap with his friends. Those were the days when Frank was around some, and so was Monica— he remembered one year, when he was maybe 5 or 6, when Monica was there and he had come home with a thin pink slip of paper from his teacher saying that he needed to bring in valentines for his class. Monica had whisked him down the street to the dollar store where they’d ransacked the rickety shelves of all the art supplies they could carry, and then they sat at the kitchen table for hours gluing glitter to cut-out hearts.

So maybe that’s why Ian’s heart had melted last Sunday, when Franny had mentioned that she needed to buy valentines for her class at school— Ian knew it was stupid, or whatever, but he knew how far a few solid childhood memories could go in this neighborhood, how those types of moments were the stuff you lived on for years afterwards when things got harder and darker. So while he’d been caught up in so much shit lately, for a couple of hours on that Sunday afternoon all Ian wanted was for Franny to soak up that feeling like a sponge—to make memories with her like the good ones that he’d had with Monica, the ones that stood out and burned in his chest like a hot branding iron when he remembered them.

And then a yawning, sleep-soft Mickey had stumbled into the kitchen, and the three of them were nestled beside each other at the table doing fucking arts and crafts; and for some reason it made Ian’s blood run hotter than usual, and got him thinking about how fuck it, he wanted to give Mickey a Valentine’s Day this year— not in the weird, heteronormative bullshit way, but in the way that he could just kind of… show Mickey how much he meant to him, how Mickey still made his heart feel like it was going to explode out of his ribcage even after the years they’d been together. This was the longest time that he and Mickey had ever been together consecutively, the longest time they’d slept side by side before something dark curled its fingers around them and pulled them apart, and he wanted to do something to acknowledge that— something to start their forever, as fucking cheesy as that sounded.

Of course, Mickey had no concept of Valentine’s Day or any of that shit, which made the whole thing all the more perfect— Ian wanted to catch him off guard, wanted to pull them both out of the funk that had been hovering over them for the months after the wedding, when everything turned brittle and stale once the bills started to pile up. They were better now—or at least they were trying to be— but it still meant something that half of their time being married had been spent navigating a fucking global pandemic and squabbling with each other and barely making ends meet.

So now it was the day before Valentine’s Day, and Ian was standing on a busy Chicago street corner in the bitter cold, watching the bundled passersby briskly walk by to scramble inside and stave off the chill. Ian hadn’t been to this neighborhood since his days working at the club, or maybe once or twice when he was hanging out with people from the youth center; the pristine glass storefronts with minimalist displays nearly blinded Ian’s eyes after the past ten months of being accustomed to the crumbling paint-chipped architecture of the South Side. But he was here on a mission; in front of him stood the high-end, boujee as fuck florist’s shop, one of the top-rated ones in the city according to the quick search he’d plugged into his phone.

Ian normally didn’t give a shit about stuff like this— to him, a flower was a flower, and a chair for a wedding was just a goddamn chair— but he knew Mickey, for some reason this sappy shit was a whole lot more important to him, no matter how hard Mickey tried to hide it. All the symbols and the fanfare meant something to Mickey—it meant that they’d made it, that they got to have a normal fucking life together, beyond both of their wildest dreams. So if Ian had to brave a stupid, gentrifying flower shop on a chilly Friday afternoon to make Mickey happy, then that was what he was going to do.

A soft bell tinkled as Ian entered the shop, immediately surrounded by the nearly-bare shelves of minimalist bouquets. The store was incredibly cramped and narrow, with overly-peppy music playing low, and was packed tight with wire-rimmed glasses wearing, re-usable bag toting hipsters standing in a line all the way to the counter. Shit. This line was going to take all day—and who the fuck knew if they even had what Ian was looking for? A looming pang of desperation started to churn in the pit of his stomach as he lurked by the doorway. Fuck it, he had to do this.

Before Ian really processed what he was doing he was quickly darting past the line, getting a series of dirty looks from everyone he shuffled by.

“S’cuse me, coming through, floral emergency.”

Finally, he reached the counter, sliding in beside some girl in her mid-twenties with a punk haircut. “Uh, sorry, can I just ask if they have what I’m looking for real quick?”

The girl rolled her eyes. “If you’re desperate enough to cut the fucking line, I’d say you’re worse off than I am. Men are fucking clueless.”

Ian nearly grimaced, but tried to twist his face into a soft, grateful smile. “Thank you.” He turned to the cashier at the counter, a dude with a man bun and a floral button-up shirt who looked pretty amused by this whole situation.

“It’s the day before Valentine’s Day, honey. Everyone here is in a floral emergency.” The cashier sighed, looking Ian up and down appraisingly. “What’re you looking for?”

“Uh. I think they’re called… stargazer lilies? The ones that bloom at a specific time, or something? We were supposed to have them at my wedding, but then the venue got burnt down by my husband’s homophobic father, so we kind of had to pull the whole wedding thing together on short notice— it’s kind of a long story, but I really, really need to get these flowers for Valentine’s Day.” Ian leaned in close over the counter, hoping he didn’t look too desperate. “It’s our first one together and it’s been a fucking shitty year and it would just— it would mean a lot.”

Ian finally exhaled, and hoped by some miracle that this cashier, or someone in the fucking universe, would take pity on him.

The cashier pulled his glasses down to the bridge of his nose, tapping away at the iPad on the counter before glancing up. “Hmm. I’m sorry honey, you’re fresh out of luck. Those lilies bloom in the summer mostly, and no one around here really has them. You could maybe check one of the little flower shops down the street, they do special orders and stuff this time of year—but I’ll be honest, I don’t know if you’re gonna get these flowers by tomorrow.”

Ian felt disappointment bubble up inside him. Of fucking course there were none of these obscure flowers in Chicago the day before Valentine’s Day— he’d had this grand idea of giving Mickey a perfect Valentine’s Day, of starting off on the right foot, and he still put this shit off until the last minute and couldn’t give Mickey what he deserved. Mickey would’ve never made this mistake.

Ian cleared his throat. “Shit. Well, uh, thanks anyways.”

He turned, heading for the door and getting ready to be assaulted by the bitter cold again. Okay, there were a couple flower marts down the street, he could try that— but he had a sinking feeling that the results would be the same, that he’d be left empty-handed tomorrow with nothing to give.

Okay. Focus. I’ve gotta plan a bunch of shit for Valentine’s Day by tomorrow.

What would Mickey do?

**

The flat drone of the dial tone made Mickey’s head buzz, the same dull vibration he’d heard dozens of times that week. Finally, he heard the click of someone answering.

“Hello, this is Sizzlers, how may I help you?”

“Hi, it’s, uh, it’s Mickey Milkovich. Again. I’m just checking in one more time to make sure we’re all good for tomorrow?”

There was a silence on the other end of the line, like the hostess was taking a moment to compose herself. “Yes, Mr. Milkovich. Since this is the… seventh time you’ve checked in in the past week, I believe, everything has definitely been arranged as you requested.”

Mickey cleared his throat. “Uh, good. Thanks. We’ll be there for our reservation at 8.”

He clicked his phone off and flung it down onto the bed. It had been nearly a week since he’d decided he was going to try to give Ian some kind of Valentine’s Day like the normal fucking couple Ian wanted to be, but he had to admit, this shit was hard work; he had to think of the perfect place he wanted them to go, had to call and make a reservation and arrange everything perfectly— and then there was the matter of deciding what to get Ian, because apparently married people also got each other fucking gifts on Valentine’s Day, which sounded like overkill to him. He’d been scrolling through Buzzfeed “Valentine’s Day Gift” lists for the better part of the afternoon, and even snuck some of Debbie’s chick magazines into the bathroom to sift through articles like “Ten Things to Get Your Man for Valentine’s Day” or “Best V-Day Gifts for Newlyweds.” Finally, after fucking days of plans stirring in the back of his mind, Mickey finally thought he had all of the pieces together; the reservation was made, the timing was set, and he’d even stopped by some fancy fucking chocolate shop on the other side of town on the way home from the Alibi earlier that afternoon.

Everything was planned—now there was just one thing left to do.

Mickey grabbed the crumpled piece of paper he’d set on the bedside table, the one he’d been staring at all week. Fuck it. He grabbed a discarded pen from the windowsill, from the collection of pencils that Ian kept next to his notebooks.

Mickey sighed as he put the pen to the paper. Now comes the hard part.

part 1 is here! and part 3 is here!

[bush-viper-cutie]

Blue Heart

(Part 3 of What Now?)

Pairing: young!severus X reader

Word Count: 3,655

Rating: T for Teen

Plot: A week into summer break and you are finally able to hang with your boyfriend, Severus Snape, and surprise him with an invitation to your house while your parents are away.

Warnings: Signs of abuse

A/N: (finished it early so why not post it early? XD) This is the third part to What Now, requested by someone on AO3 :)

Posted: 7/6/20

Masterlist

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(Y/n) = your name

(L/n) = last name

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The day was hot and the small bit of shadow the tall bushes gave was not enough to keep out the sun’s invading rays. There was the sound of laughter nearby and the smell of barbecued steak a few houses away. The street was relatively empty, with the exception of a car every few minutes. Ice cream melted of the cone and onto the dirt and roots of the shrub that was currently providing enough privacy to hide behind.

“Severus,” you laughed as your boyfriend held you close and kissed your neck, “My ice cream is melting!”

You heard him chuckle as he trailed more kisses up to your lips, kissing you harder and pressing you into him, unable to withstand any amount of distance. There was a tall fence behind you and a tall bush in front, meaning the only other being witnessing his show of affection was a small songbird, also hiding from the summer heat. He moved one hand down your back and the other up your thigh, trying to keep you too distracted to complain.

He finally pulled away from you, humming quietly as he licked his lips, “(Y/n)…” he breathed out.

You smiled and looked into his dark eyes as they stared back into yours. His hair was pulled behind his ears for once, and you could see his perfect smile he so rarely showed. It had only been a week since school ended, and this was the first chance Severus had to get away and visit you.

“Severus… You made my ice cream melt,” you pushed him back playfully, but he kept your hand held to his chest.

“You’ll get a new one,” he came forward again with the intention to continue his displays of affection.

“We can’t stay behind this bush… no matter how secluded it is. It’s for apparating purposes only, not hang out ones,” you tried keeping a serious face but being so close to him made you want to smile.

He nodded and stepped back, “Well we can’t go anywhere else… Unless you know some other hidden spot – ”

“I do. It’s called my house and you’ll find it provides a surprising amount of privacy from the outside world,” you laughed.

He frowned, “No houses. We agreed not to meet each other’s parents… yet.”

The ice cream was as good as gone and so you dropped the cone and wiped your hand on a leaf as best you could, “That’s why I asked you over today. My parents will be gone for three days – they’re invited to a wedding and I convinced them to let me stay home since I don’t even know their friends.”

Severus’ eyes twinkled with mischief and his smile was back on his face, “Are they gone? Now?”

“That’s what I was trying to tell you before you attacked me with your lips!” you giggled and pulled him in closer, grabbing his hand tight. “Shall I apparate us?”

“Yes! Please yes.”

. . .

You opened your eyes and leaned over your desk as your stomach settled after what felt like a ride in a tornado. You turned and expected Severus to be standing behind you, but instead found him looking through everything you had out on display. You cleared your throat, but his attention stayed on the fine details of your room.

“And you call me nosy,” you laughed.

“I’ve never been in anyone else’s room…”

He rarely talked about himself unless it had to do with classes or magic, and every hint he gave to his past, broke your heart worse than the last.  He stood very awkwardly like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to take up any room, and swept his eyes across all four walls until they landed on yours.

“Well I’m glad you’re in mine,” you stood and inched closer, “Very glad.” You kissed his nose and then pulled him in by his shirt, quickly wrapping your arms around his neck and sliding your tongue between his lips. If it hadn’t been for the ice cream melting all over your hand outside, you would have encouraged every racy touch with an equally self-indulgent one.

He hummed and smiled, sliding his hands down to your lower back. You were about to push him back onto your bed when you heard a familiar meow from behind him. Severus turned around and picked up your cat, scratching behind his ear and sitting on your bed, looking a lot more comfortable now than before.

“Are you missing Hogwarts too?” Severus set your cat down. “So… The whole house? To ourselves?”

“Yes, including all the ice cream,” you turned around and opened the door, heading downstairs into the kitchen.

By the time you heard the creaking of the middle step, you had already filled a bowl to replace the ice cream lost outside and sat at the table waiting for Severus. His pace was slow as he came down the stairs, much like that of a new cat in an unfamiliar home.

“Come sit down, I’m happy to share my ice cream with you,” you kicked out a chair for him. “Let’s talk activities… Obviously cuddle and spend time in bed, then maybe in our free time we can bake something? Attempt our hands on some homemade pizza? Oh! We can make a fort and sleep inside!”

“(L/n), we aren’t children,” he shook his head and sat down at the table finally, after looking around the kitchen. “All that sounds fine. I’ll do anything you want me to do.”

“Are you hungry?”

Before he could shake his head, his stomach growled. He crossed his arms and looked away, “A bit.”

. . .

“Stop eating the cheese!” you pulled the plate away from Severus, who sat on a chair facing you.

You had laid out cheeses, sliced meats, lettuce, tomato, and some condiments out on the table like some sandwich shops had. The bread he had picked out was in the oven, toasting to perfection, while you spooned some pickle slices into a glass cup – mostly for yourself by the look on his disgusted face.

“Can I pick from any of these? What if I only want cheese?”

You knew he was trying to push your buttons since you always got annoyed at his dinner choices whenever you asked over owl post and he responded. “You can have anything and everything. Except just cheese and bread. You can’t live off that.”

He slouched back, “You’d be surprised,” he mumbled.

You rolled your eyes and opened the oven, taking out the toasted bread. You placed them on plates and sat down next to him, handing him his. The next few minutes consisted of you putting your sandwich together and encouraging him to put more on his. Finally, the two sandwiches were done and he was about to take a bite out of his when you had remembered something crucial.

“Wait!” you got up and rushed to a top cabinet and took down a bag of crisps, “I forgot about these.”

Severus rolled his eyes and bit down anyways. “Why would you want to get stabbed while you eat?”

. . .

The plates were empty and all the unused food was back in their containers, all that was left was to do the dishes. Severus placed both plates in the sink and began washing them by hand.

“Just use magic.”

He looked down at the sink and shook his head, “You do it.”

You shrugged, “Scourgify.”

The plates started cleaning and bubbles floated up, popped, and splashed back down. Severus dried his hands on his shirt and watched you curiously as you stepped back towards the stairs, turned on your heels and ran to your room yelling, “Race you!”

“(Y/n)!”

You flung yourself onto your bed and crawled under the covers as Severus apparated into the room, “Cheater!”

He smiled and leapt onto the bed, pulling the covers down and forcing himself inside as you struggled to move over. Finally the commotion was over and you could easily put your arms around him as he pulled his wand out to close the door and window curtain – despite no one being home and being on the second floor with no neighboring house able to look inside.

He sat up and cast several charms to cool the sheets as your combined body heat elevated the overall temperature. It was cold now, and you found yourself pressing closer into him.

“Are you doing that on purpose?”

He looked at you very seriously and dropped his voice low, “Yes, (Y/n), I purposely made the covers several degrees too cold as a ploy to get closer to you,” he scoffed, but his tiny smile betrayed him.

“Good thing it happened though, or we would have been forced to take off our clothes if it got too hot.”

His smile faded and for a split second he glanced over at his wand, “Right.”

You bit back a giggle and pressed him down on his back and brushed his long hair away to rest your head on his shoulder, yawning as the summer heat and full belly drained the rest of your energy for the day. You opened your mouth to say something when his soft snores caught your attention. You looked up and kissed his chin before closing your eyes as well, breathing him in and feeling his chest rise and fall under your hand.

. . .

After a while, your hearing focused on the turning of pages, slow and rhythmic. You opened your eyes and squinted at a shadowy figure hunched over your desk. Severus’ wand was stuck in your pencil holder shining bright enough to work as a reading light.

You rubbed your eyes and sat up, stretching and yawning as you looked at the time. “I can’t believe you left me asleep for so long.”

“Sorry,” he said quietly.

You pushed the sheets away and made your way over, seeing he was turning the pages of one of your art books that usually sat collecting dust on the shelf above next to your paint cans. The book had been an attempt by your mother to apologize about some stupid argument she never got the point of. She had found a book on ‘divination through paint’ and what brush strokes and figures meant about your future and given you that to make up for storming out on the argument. You had taken up painting for a month last summer and like always, she had tried to erase your fight with a new book and insisted you hone in on your magical skills with it as a show of misplaced support.

“I haven’t even looked at that one yet… I doubt its any good,” you ran your hand through his hair, undoing knots from the nap. “My Mum’s always getting me weird books like that. Divination was her favorite subject and thinks it must be mine too.”

“Why haven’t you read it?” he closed the book to the front page, where your mother had scribbled out a note.

You laughed, “I don’t really have the time to spend on reading nonsense books. I really wish she wouldn’t do stuff like that… It’s really annoying.”

“It’s annoying when your mum gives you gifts?” Severus looked up then, with distant eyes and furrowed brows.

You took your hands back and crossed your arms. “It’s not a gift… I mean it was but not really. She doesn’t care about what I’m actually interested in.”

“How does this show she doesn’t care? She gave you a book on art and it even says here: ‘Because of your current obsession in art, I hope this helps’ and then she left a heart,” Severus stood up from the desk chair and turned away. “Sounds like she cares.”

“You don’t know the meaning behind her words – ”

He turned around to face you, leaning in with ferocity, “You like art. She gives you this book to help you. And then you put it on your shelf and ignore it while thinking she doesn’t care. It sounds like YOU don’t know the meaning behind her words.”

“Trust me. Severus. That book doesn’t mean that. It was a dumb attempt at getting me to forgive her for something.”

“‘Something’? What something?”

You scowled even harder, knowing exactly how you were about to come across, “I can’t remember the exact thing it was about. She just wasn’t understanding what I was saying on purpose.”

“Was she yelling at you? No? Just an argument then? You can’t even remember what it was about and you still sound like you hate this book because of it. All I’m saying is you obviously don’t know what it looks like to not care. And this isn’t it!” he stood up straight, his eyes cast in shadows.

You scoffed, “You don’t know what you’re talking about. Now put my book back,” you scowled.

His cold eyes stayed on yours, “…Fine.”

He picked up the book and slammed it onto the shelf above so hard everything shook. There was a rattle and before either of you could end the glaring at each other, a paint can toppled over and poured deep blue onto Severus’ hair. Your mouth fell open as the paint dripped down his face and stained his clothes, pooling around him on the floor.

“I’m sorry!” he quickly reached for his wand but knocked over the pencil holder instead.

His wand along with most of your writing tools rolled off the desk and onto the puddle of blue paint, splattering on your socks. You stepped away and looked around for something to use as Severus wiped away paint from his eyes and mouth.

“Hold on, I’ll get something,” you exited your bedroom and opened the closet out in the hall. You groaned, seeing the tower of white towels, “Severus, come out here!”

“But the paint – ”

“It’s alright,” you opened the door to your bathroom and turned on all the lights.

You started the shower and got the temperature just how you liked it as Severus’ sloshy footsteps neared. He held his head low, trying to keep the paint from entering his eyes, and held his hands as bowls under his hair, trying to minimize his damage.

“(Y/n), I’m so sorry.”

“Severus,” you went for a hug but couldn’t find anywhere he wasn’t covered in paint, “It’s ok… Just take a shower and… You’ll have to go home for new clothes.”

“I don’t need a shower I’ll just rinse out my hair. The paint only got on my shirt mostly, not so much on my trousers. I can wash my shirt and wait in here till it dries.”

“And your neck. Your hair needs to be shampooed, not just rinsed,” you took out your favorite bottle and set it down. “Let me help you.”

“No, I can do it alone,” he stepped back and tried bending over awkwardly but more paint splattered to the floor from his shirt, making him wince.

“You can at least take the shirt off. Its covered in paint. I can leave if you want.”

He nodded and before you closed the door you saw him struggle to get the shirt without releasing all the pooled paint in his hands. He huffed, irritated and looked up to see you still standing there with your hand on your hip.

“Are you sure you don’t want my help?”

He stood very still and didn’t say anything. You rolled your eyes and stepped back in, leaving the door open. You started lifting up his shirt and pulled it over his head. He stayed hunched over, trying to keep the paint from dripping onto the floor. You dropped his wet shirt and pressed your hand to your mouth, trying not to gasp at the yellow and blue bruises all over his skin.

He shifted his weight and sniffed, ��It’s from falling on the stairs.”

“Falling?”

“Yeah. I fell.”

Before you could question him further, he bent over the bathtub and turned the knob, cutting the water flow to the shower head and redirecting it to the tap bellow. He dunked his hair under the roaring tap and ran his fingers through his hair hard and fast, as if trying to rip the paint away.

“Stop, stop. Let me,” you slid your socks off and swung a leg over the tub and leaned over him. The water was freezing so you adjusted the temperature and began carefully moving your hands through his hair.

His shoulders were tense the entire time under the water as the paint drained from his hair. It was quiet, bordering on awkward, all while there were a million things you wanted to say, to ask him, held back by the fear he would rather leave your home than talk.

The water was clear finally, so you decided to go through with the next step of pouring shampoo on the back of his head. You started by massaging it in as the bubbles foamed and expanded. You took sections of his hair and smoothed the bubbles over them until you were sure every last strand was covered in shampoo. His neck was still blue so you rubbed shampoo in small circles, feeling him shiver under your touch. His shoulders sagged after a few seconds and he let out a rough breath.

“Close your eyes, just in case,” you whispered.

He pushed his head back under the running tap and you went through the same steps as with the paint, gently rinsing his hair free of soap. You didn’t mind the intense smell you normally liked on your own hair, but you wished he had brought his own shampoo, whichever one he used while in Hogwarts. It didn’t have any smell, which meant when you breathed him in during late night meetups, it was all him you were taking in.

You bit your lip and breathed out, “Severus – ”

“I swear. These bruises are from falling down my stairs,” his voice was quieter, gentler than before.

You stood up and let him rinse his face and neck while you got the towels. You came back and closed the tap, dropping an open towel on his head and sat behind him. Before he could protest you pulled him into you and got to work drying his hair yourself. He crossed his arms and relaxed, leaning back as you twisted the towel and propped it up on his head.

“(Y/n)…”

“Severus… You know I care about you, right? A lot. And you’ve done a lot of nice things for me since our first kiss and I notice everything and appreciate you so much. Even the smallest things make me so happy… I promise I don’t take your actions the same way as when my mom tries to give me gifts.”

He turned and snaked an arm under your waist, holding you close, “I know… I really like you… I couldn’t believe when you owled me so soon, begging to see me… and you invite me over to spend three whole days with you…” he pressed his face into your chest and let out a sob, “And then I got mad and ruined it all… If you want me to leave, I’ll go.”

As uncomfortable as the position was on your hip and back, pressed against the cold tile and under-sink cabinets, you wrapped your leg and other arm around him like a makeshift cocoon, trying to hold him together as if he was unraveling before your eyes.

“You didn’t ruin anything. I still want you to stay… actually I wish you never had to go back, so I could keep you here with me forever and all to myself.”

He sat up and pulled the towel away, letting his black tendrils fall over his face. You could see tears glimmering in the corner of his eyes, making the darkness of them that much deeper by contrast. His eyes were intense and bore into yours, making you let out a breath of barely contained excitement. He slid his hand across your cheek and rested it on the back of your head, pulling you in to him. His lips were warm and hungry to explore your own.

“I’d stay here with you forever,” he whispered and pressed into your lips harder than before, needing your comfort.

You felt your mind race with ideas and the thoughts of what you wanted most in that moment. You could feel him pulling you in closer, gripping your thighs and attempting to drag you down so he could pin you back like he loved to do.

Severus grunted and pulled away, looking over his shoulder at your cat, perched on him. You laughed and snapped your fingers at Rocco until he jumped down from your boyfriend’s back. You both stood reluctantly and walked into your bedroom. The night was still going on outside, despite the commotion inside, and the energy gathered from your nap earlier was all spent.

Severus yawned but got to work on cleaning up the mess that he’d made. While he cleaned your bedroom you took care of the bathroom mess, quietly scolding Rocco for ruining a very heated moment. Rocco meowed and left, leaving you wiping down the floor all alone.

You walked back in, some time later, and held out his soaked and stained shirt, “Um… I’m sure if I put it in the wash it’ll be better?”

Severus was curled up on your bed next to Rocco, snoring lightly. You smiled and dropped his shirt, walked over to the bed and joined him on some much-needed rest. You were about to close your eyes when you noticed something small written on your wall in deep blue paint. It was your and Severus’ name surrounded by a heart. You smiled and pressed into him, excited for the two remaining days ahead.

~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~ * ~~~

Masterlist                   

[artificialqueens]

Pretty in Pearls, Chapter 4 (Jankie) - Plastiquedoll

read on ao3 💄| previous chapters

A/N: hi!  here's a new chapter and I'm planting the crygi seed for the future *wink wink* I hope you enjoy it and thank you for reading it <3

-4-

“Good morning!” Jan greeted Nicky outside the café with a smile on her face.

“Hey! You woke up earlier today; I didn’t catch you on your way out the dorms.” The blonde noticed.

She was wearing a fuzzy cardigan sweater she had seen on Jaida before, light blue jeans, and white sneakers. Her hair was still wet which made Jan think she might have spent the night with her girlfriend before meeting her.

“Yeah, I had to return some books to the library so I left when Rosé went to class.”

They walked in and were welcomed by the familiar warmness of the interior of the coffee shop. Almost a month had passed but Jan was always comforted by the charm of the place. It was a crowded morning but they were able to squish at one little table near the entrance. They had just sat down when a fuming Jackie crossed the door, at first she didn’t see them but as soon as Jan waved at her she shuffled toward their direction and plopped herself in the empty chair.

She was wearing brown flare pants along with a white shirt and a yellow batwing cardigan with a floral pattern. Her brown hair had been violently ruffled by a gust of wind, the loose locks fell all over her face completing a look that matched her current mood.

“What are you doing here?” Nicky asked.

Jan was wondering the same; all of Jackie’s classes took place in the morning, it was early for her to be out.

She grunted a few words while holding a scrunchie between her teeth as she attempted to untangle her hair.

“What?” The girls asked at the same time.

Jackie tied her hair into a ponytail and sighed. “I got kicked out of class.”

Jan looked at her with disbelief. “What?” She repeated.

“Remember that professor that hates me for making –according to him- «snarky comments»? Well, he finally found a reason to express his dislike for me and asked me to leave.” She crossed her arms on her chest. “I wasn’t going to stay quiet when –in addition, to invisibilize women in art- he also tried to erase the queerness of the artists. No, not on my watch.”

“What a pig.” Nicky shook her head. “I can’t believe he had the nerve to kick you out because you called him out.”

“Oh, trust me, this isn’t the end of it. I’m filing a complaint and leaving that class. I’m done.”

“I’m sorry, Jackie. I know you liked the subject, too bad the professor is a jerk.” Jan tapped her shoulder softly.

The brunette got stiff by the sudden touch. She cleared her throat before speaking again. “Anyway… it sucks because I need the credit and it’s the only class that fits into my schedule.”

“Maybe there’s a way to fix it, talk with the administration or something.” Jan did what she did best, being undeniably positive.

“Yeah… maybe. But enough of that, I need a cup of coffee.”

As if she had read Jackie’s mind, a waitress approached and it wasn’t any other than…

“Hello, girls!”

“Crystal? You work here?” Jan asked.

The girl nodded. “I started yesterday.” She smiled brightly.

She had a blue apron with the café’s name on it over her clothes and Jan swore her hair –covered in colorful hair clips- was different than last time she saw her not even two days ago.

“Congratulations! That’s great!”

“Thank you. I had to drop one of my classes but I needed the job.”

Jackie grunted. “Please let’s not talk about dropping classes.” She began massaging her temples.

“Right! I’m here to take your order.” She pulled out a tiny notebook covered in glitter from her pocket and a unicorn gel pen. “I’m ready.”

“I think you have to say «what can I get you?»” Nicky commented.

“Oh, you’re right… Let me try again. What can I get you?” She repeated in an extremely polite voice.

“I’ll have a hot chocolate please.” Jan pointed at the menu.

“And I’d like a hazelnut latte.” Jackie followed.

“For me, a caramel macchiato.” The blonde finished the order.

“Perfect… so hot chocolate, hazelnut latte, and caramel macchiato.” Crystal checked her notes. “Right away.”

“Thank you.” They said and with that, the ginger left and then turned around.

Jan watched her go.

“I should get a job too.” She pouted. “I don’t want to ask for extra money from my parents, they are helping with the other half the scholarship and they are paying for my brother’s tuition too.”

“I work at the mall near here and there’s always something to do there. You could come with me later and ask around.” Nicky mentioned.

“I didn’t know that, what do you do?”

“I’m on the cosmetics section. I do people’s makeup during the weekends and convince them to buy products.”

“Of course you do…”

“What would you like to do?” Jackie inquired in the meantime she rearranged the sweeteners of the table.

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I’ve had part-time jobs before. I used to work at an ice cream parlor. That was fun not to mention I had free ice cream. Then I worked at the post office, that wasn’t as much fun, it involved a lot of boxes… and during my senior year, I was the secretary of a dental office that… well, definitely wasn’t fun but I got to meet the same customers that were regulars on the ice cream parlor.”

Jackie and Nicky burst into laughter.

“You’ll do well…” The blonde assured.

“We can write your resume later and print it in the copy room.” Jackie suggested.

“That’s a great idea. Yeah, let’s do it.”

At that moment, Crystal returned with their drinks.

“Well, let’s see… I’ll put these over here, here and… here.” She placed the cups carefully and sighed with relief when everything stayed in place. “Great… Let me know if you need me.” She hummed.

“Thank you, Crystal!” Jan was going to leave a good tip for her friend.

When she turned around, they all exchanged misplaced cups in the blink of an eye.

“She’ll get better… hopefully.” Jackie added some sugar and took a sip of her coffee.

Jan drank some of her chocolate; the whipped cream created a mustache above her cupid’s bow and got the brunette looking fondly at her before taking a napkin and cleaning the corner of her mouth. Nicky raised an eyebrow but before she could say something, someone else showed up.

It was a girl that most definitely looked like a supermodel with her matching glen check pattern outfit consisting of a cropped jacket and a mini skirt with accents of yellow fabric and a belt with chains hanging from it along with a pair of black thigh-high boots. Her blonde hair framed her face and was tied on the back on a half up half down hairstyle.

“Hey, Nicky, did you finish the assignment for today’s class? And if you did, did you have any difficulty submitting it?” She looked upset, stressed.

“Uh… no. Maybe it’s because that paper is due tomorrow and the submission time starts… tomorrow?”

“Oh, thank God.” She sat on the only left empty chair with no need of an invitation and sighed letting all the air out of her lungs.

Their little table couldn’t accommodate more people so they squished even more.

Nicky turned to Jackie and Jan. “This is Gigi, she’s a classmate of mine and she actually lives in the same dorms as us. Gigi, do you remember my friend Jackie? And this is Jan, resident of the C dorm.”

The other blonde girl waved. “Hi, sorry… that was rude. I was freaking out due to that assignment.” She took a deep breath. “Hi, Jackie… I do remember you and Jan, we’re neighbors.”

“That’s great!” Jan smiled at her. “So you’re a fashion major too?”

She nodded. “I’m a sophomore as well but I’m a year younger than everyone else because of technicalities and my mom sending me to kindergarten one year earlier.”

“We’re the same age then. That’s cool.”

Gigi smiled, she was beautiful.

“How are you adapting to-” She was going to ask Jan something when she lowered her head in an attempt to hide behind Jackie. “Oh shit.”

“Gigi, what is it?” Nicky whispered.

“She’s here.” Gigi tried to descend even more.

“Uhm… who’s here?” Jackie looked around.

“She! She’s here right now… Oh God…” The girl seemed nervous and her cheeks were tinted in soft pink. “So, uh… there’s this girl who lives in our dorm I guess and I’ve bumped into her a couple of times before but… I don’t know, she’s like…” She blushed harder.

“Gigi Goode... The Gigi Goode is possibly… intimidated by someone?” Nicky gasped.

“Shhh… shut up… no… yeah… maybe. I don’t know. I’m gay and single, leave me alone.”

“Wait but how does she look like?” Jan also tried to find her among the crowd. They all were whispering.

“Oh my God… she’s coming… she’s walking in this direction, why is she walking in this direction? Never mind she has an apron.”

But it was Crystal who appeared next to Jan. “Hey guys, everything’s okay over here? Do you need something else?” She inquired, completely clueless.

The three remaining girls looked at Crystal, then at Gigi, and then at Crystal again as if it was a ping pong game.

“Oh, hey! I hadn’t seen you there, would you like me to bring something for you?” She asked Gigi while pulling out her Crystalcore things.

The blonde girl nodded and recovered the posture a little. “Uh… matcha… that’s the green thing… yeah… latte. Green tea?”

“Matcha tea latte?”

She nodded mechanically again.

“Alright, anything else?” The other girls shook their heads. “I’ll be right back.”

“Thank you.” Gigi’s voice sounded high-pitched.

Once Crystal left, all eyes were on the blonde once again.

“Oh my… I fucked up, didn’t I?”

Nicky’s jaw had dropped to the floor. “Wait, hold on a minute… you like her?”

“Shhh… God, Nicky, she could hear you or something.” Gigi pressed her hand on her chest, feeling her heart beating fast. “I didn’t know she worked here.”

Jan was trying to contain a smile, her lips turned into a thin line, meanwhile, Jackie stirred her lukewarm coffee.

“Uh… You know that’s my roommate, right?” Nicky smirked.

At that moment, Gigi almost fainted. Her face went from reddish to pale in a second and her eyes were full of terror as if she had seen a ghost.

“Excuse me, she’s your what?!”

“My roommate? Crystal? The girl with orange hair? I’ve told you about her. The one that put stickers on the notes she leaves me? She forgot her key three times in the span of a day? The one that –allegedly- accidentally shot a confetti cannon in our room and since then it feels like the place coughs confetti here and there? Rings your bell?”

That had been a good day, Jan recalled.

“Wait- That’s your Crystal? Your Crystal is my Crystal?” She covered her mouth after saying those words.

Jackie and Jan exchanged an amused look.

“Your Crystal?” Nicky tilted her head.

“I mean… that’s not what I mean…” She cleared her throat. “please don’t tell her I have a crush on her this is already too embarrassing for me… I could die like a Sim… of embarrassment, it’s a real thing, you know?”

“Relax, I won’t say a word and I’m sure the girls won’t either, right?” Jan and Jackie nodded.

Gigi seemed relieved. “Thank you… I can’t believe she’s your roommate.” She buried her face in her hands.

“I can’t believe you feel intimidated by her, she has a One Direction poster in our room.”

“There are so many things clicking in my head right now please leave your message after the tone. Beep.”

Jackie moved her hand in front of her eyes without getting a response. “I think you broke her, Nicky.”

“She’ll be fine. Plus, Crystal is bringing her tea right now.”

“Fuck…” She said as if was a reset command.

“Here you have.” The ginger placed the smoky cup in front of her. “I hope you enjoy it.” She smiled and winked before leaving.

Gigi gulped.

“Uh, Gigi, I’m not an expert but judging by the color of the beverage, that’s not what you ordered.” Jackie pointed out.

But the blonde wasn’t even looking at her. “I don’t care; this is the most delicious drink existing in the entire universe right now.”

“What’s that though?” Nicky tried to touch the cup but Gigi slapped her hand.

“No touching.” She glared at her classmate.

“Yeah, I feel like we’re going to be good friends.” Jan thought about it aloud.

“Alright, all set.”

Jackie let a big sigh out of her chest when she left the administration office; Jan had been waiting for her outside. They had gone there straight after leaving the café when Nicky and Gigi left for their class. On their way to the building, she had tried to cheer Jackie up by telling the entire confetti cannon anecdote in full detail but even afterward laughing at loud the brunette still seemed afflicted.

“I’ve submitted my complaint and the head administrator told me that the board will look into it. Until then, they said that most classes are already full so they’ll have to look for a different solution and they’ll contact me via e-mail or I’ll have to drop by next week.”

“Well, that’s good, isn’t it? They’ll tell you what the next step is. It can only get better from here.”

“I hope so.” She shrugged. She didn’t sound fully convinced, though.

Jan checked the time on her phone. “Hey, we still have some time before your shift starts, we can hang out or something…”

Jackie bit her inner cheek. “I don’t know…”

Jan touched her shoulder gently. “Jackie, I hate you seen you like this. There has to be something that makes you feel at least one percent better.”

She looked at her with her big puppy eyes and Jackie couldn’t say no to her.

“Okay… there’s something that always makes me feel better.” She gave in.

“I’m listening.”

Jackie’s eyes sparked.

“No way…” Jan looked around. “This is awesome!”

They had gone upstairs –climbing several stairs-, to a place that wasn’t on the maps of the campus. Jackie had led the way without revealing a single detail –even when Jan asked many, many questions on their way there- she had said it was a surprise and that she didn’t want to spoil it. Finally, as they were climbing those endless stairs, her mood got a bit better.

They reached a single green metal door, it was locked but the brunette pulled a key from her set and opened it. The door led to a little hidden rooftop garden with a few hanging plants and flowers in terracotta pots, there was also a set of recycled wood chairs and an unvarnished coffee table rough around the edges. But without any doubt the most stunning part of that small place was the view, it was the perfect spot to contemplate most of the green areas of the campus including some of the park across the street nearby the café. It was almost noon and the sun hit the opposite side but in a few hours, it would be probably the best viewpoint of the sunset.

“What is this place?” The younger kept inspecting everything.

Jackie closed the door behind them. “It used to be a project made for a group of students to raise awareness about the use of recycling materials but since they all graduated no one really knows it exists. I accidentally discovered it last year when I took a photography class and spotted it with my camera from that crossroad.” She pointed with her index finger. “I did some research and the janitor gave me the key after asking… when I was done with the assignment, she let me keep it with the promise I would do some maintenance once in a while and keep the plants alive. And since then, I come here when I need to be alone or when I’m upset… like today.”

Jan stared at her. “I’m sorry that you had to drop that class.”

“I didn’t want to quit, you know? I thought I was going to be able to handle it, by giving up I feel like I let him win…”

“No, you didn’t. You don’t have to stand that mistreatment.” She looked the brunette in the eye. “I’m glad you did it; don’t let it be a defeat, it doesn’t have to be one.”

“Thank you.” A weak smile appeared on her face.

“I’m gonna hug right now, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“No, you don’t have to…”

“But I want to. C’mon, come here.” She extended her arms widely. “If you don’t let me hug you I’m going to hug myself and it’s going to be lame and I’m going to be sad.”

Jackie chuckled. “Okay, I guess…”

“Yay!” Jan jumped directly to her and wrapped her arms around her.

Jan’s shampoo smelled like almonds and honey. Her embrace made Jackie feel warm inside. Clouds could’ve been made of cotton and the sky was the bluest she had ever seen.

“You see? This is nice.” The younger still held her.

“Yeah, nice…” Jackie closed her eyes and for a moment, it was all right.

They stayed there for a little while. Jackie would have to go to the copy room soon and Jan had her class after lunch. During the time they were there, Jan played some music on her phone and they talked about what had happened earlier in the café. They agreed that it was sweet that Gigi had a crush on Crystal; Jackie watered the plants and told her the story of how she had met the blonde through Nicky. Later on, she sat on one of the chairs while Jan played hopscotch with the cracks in the concrete; she sang softly the song that was playing Hey There Delilah.

“You have a good singing voice,” Jackie mentioned.

“Huh? Me? Oh… I didn’t… I just sing for fun sometimes.” She suddenly felt coy.

“I mean it. It sounded lovely.”

“You’re just being nice. You haven’t heard Rosé or Lagoona, they are amazing.”

“They could tell you. I’m sure they’d agree with me.”

“I could never sing in front of them.” She looked mortified.

“You’d do well.”

“Are you serious right now?”

“I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“I don’t know…” Jan shrugged.

The music stopped and the alarm she had set went off.

“We have to go.” The younger announced. “I’ll walk with you to the copy room and then I’ll grab something to eat.”

“Okay. Let me close the door.”

She waited until the brunette was done and they started walking downstairs.

“I wish I could work with you, wouldn’t that be fun?” Jan casually mentioned.

“Well, you’re there all the time anyway.”

“Does it bother you?”

Jackie shook her head and smiled. “No, not at all.”

“I don’t understand it.” Jan lied on the table of the study room. “I have applied for every job available at the mall and still, no response and no results.”

“Ow, baby,” Rosé ruffled her hair. “I’m sure you’re going to find something soon.”

Lagoona lifted her gaze from the textbook. “I wish I could help but the restaurant where I work is full.”

“I thought you hated that place?” Jan turned toward her.

“I do, but the tips are good.” She highlighted a sentence with her pastel marker.

She was already studying for an upcoming presentation. Rosé was memorizing the lines of a play and she got Jan there to read the other part. Now they were on a break. The pink-haired girl was drinking peach soda from a can in the meantime Jan whined for her failed job search. Lagoona –whose blue hair was beginning to fade a little- googled some job offers in the area and read them at loud.

“There are a few that sound pretty disgusting if you ask me. I didn’t know the classified ads could be this kinky.” She frowned and put her phone down.

“Hey, what about that place?” Rosé snapped her fingers. “Goona, do you remember? The diner that’s a couple of blocks from here? We used to go there all the time during our freshman year.”

“Oh, yes. That was a nice place, didn’t we stop going there because your ex-roommate worked there?”

Rosé’s expression turned sour. “Yeah… but she got fired or quit, I don’t know. The point is, they were always hiring people, maybe you could ask there?”

“And you’ve waited this long to tell me?” Jan cried. “It’s been three agonizing days.”

“They are open now so you could-”

“Bye, guys! See you later.” She grabbed her things, threw them into her backpack, and dashed out just to return a couple of seconds later. “Yeah, so I don’t know where it is.”

Jan held her breath before walking past the door.

The diner was decorated in a retro style. It had black and white floor tiles, a long bar, red stools, chairs and booths, round tables, neon signs, vinyl albums and posters of classic Hollywood stars on the walls, lamps hanging from the ceiling, and even a functional jukebox. A few people were sitting at the bar, it was still early for dinner so almost everyone was having a milkshake or some ice cream.

Jan was welcomed by a girl with dark wavy hair in a striped red and white dress with a little white apron on. The name «Denali» was written on her tag.

“Welcome to Lucky’s, would you like a table or a seat on the bar?” She smiled and a pair of dimples appeared on her face.

“Hi, I was wondering if you have a job application for me or… if you were hiring right now?”

“Oh,” She lowered her notebook. “You wanna work here? Okay, just give me a second. You can sit over there.” Denali pointed at one empty table.

“Sure.” Jan held her backpack close to her body and moved to the booth.

Denali returned shortly after with a pen and a paper sheet in her hands.

“In normal circumstances, you’d have an interview with the manager but since he’s God knows where and I’m in charge in the meantime, I’m going to let you complete this form and then ask you some questions…”

“Alright, yeah.”

“I’ll be back in a moment.”

Jan filled the form with basic information, her full name, birth date, age, address, phone number, e-mail, etc. When she was done, she observed Denali serving customers, she moved like her feet weren’t touching the floor, with a full tray on her hands as if it weighed nothing, all with a giant smile on her face. She made it look easy.

“Everything alright?” She asked before sitting in front of Jan.

“Yes, I’m done.” She returned the paper sheet.

Denali scanned it, collecting information. “Janice? Okay, you’re a college student.”

“Jan is fine. Yes, I’m a freshman.”

“Aw,” She tilted her head. “I’m going to write my notes in front of you if that’s okay.” Jan nodded. “You haven’t worked as a waitress before, right?”

“No, but I’m a fast learner and I believe I compensate my lack of experience with enthusiasm, I’ve been told.”

She wrote something “Next, uhm… Why do you want to work here?”

“I need a job to pay for my things. As I said, this is my first year of college; I have a partial scholarship and my parents are supporting me from home but I don’t want to become a burden for them.”

“Do you mind if I ask about your scholarship?”

“No, not at all. It’s for baseball.”

“Work!” She nodded. “The last one, you wrote here your potential time schedules and, according to the rules, if you only work have twice per week you’ll have to take two Saturdays per month. Are you fine with that?”

“Sure, I can take any shift that day.”

“Well, Jan, the good news is that I sense we’re going to be besties, so I wrote «overqualified», «fast learner» and «tight schedules but willing to take Saturday’s shifts» which always is a plus.” She smiled at Jan. “I believe you’re going to get a call very soon.”

“Oh my God! Thank you.” Jan grinned. “I really appreciate that.”

“No worries. You’re lucky -no pun intended-, a girl just quit but being completely honest, she was a real bitch. You can’t be worse than her.”

“I’ve heard that before and… I’m okay with that.”

“Alright. I hope I see you soon.” She winked and returned to serve tables.

Jan left the diner with the biggest smile on Earth.

[harmony88]

As Dreamers Do

The Doctor and Rose, a couple of months after they are back to the stars, take a trip for baby food with their 8 month old daughter to a new planet, where they unexpectedly meet a man who thinks the TARDIS is the key to unlocking the one dream he's always wanted, but has never had.

First Story in my series Forever With You: Part 3 

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 

(Chapter 1 posted below)

He told her once not to make this place domestic.

To be fair, it had less to do with her and more to do with her mother, whom, at the time, he wasn’t quite sure what to make of and whom, he had to remember, came on board without permission. He rolled his eyes at that thought now, because he should have known Jackie Tyler wasn’t the ‘ask for permission’ type, but he’d been rather grumpy back then and mothers were a bit of a touchy subject. He also knew he hadn’t meant it, not really, but still, he’d said it, and he was thinking about it as he glanced around the galley.

A messy finger painting was hanging on the refrigerator. A gift from his daughter, crafted when Rose let her do some art the other day, and he’d been so excited about it he hung it up before it was completely dry. There were stuffed animals thrown about the hallway that led to the console room, his wife’s breast pump was sitting on the counter next to a photograph of all three of them he’d framed, and there was an empty carton of milk sitting in the bin, designed to serve a visual reminder that they needed to pick up some more.

The TARDIS was a domestic playground at this point, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. He had never been happier, and he thought about all the baby books in the nursery, the closet that was half his clothes and half Rose’s, the ensuite that had two toothbrushes in a gold holder, and the library that always had two coasters on the coffee table for both of their cuppas at night.

They’d built a life together, circling the vortex and traveling in between, and somehow, someway, the one adventure he never thought he’d have was exactly the one he was living.

What a privilege it was.

“Here,” Rose said, giving him a look when he just smiled like an idiot at her, and he took a jar of baby food from her hand, followed by a small spoon. She had one, too, and they both looked down at Alice, whose smile was reminding him so much of her mother it was making it hard to breathe, and he bent down to kiss her cheek.

They put all the stars to shame, the two of them, they really did.

She giggled when he kissed her a second time, and Rose laughed too, grabbing onto his arm and pulling him back. “If we don’t start soon she’s gonna cry.”

“One more,” he urged, kissing her other cheek with a pop, and Alice giggled so hard the sound imprinted on his hearts, he was sure of it. Rose bit her lip and held up her spoon, and like a sword pulled from its sheath he did the same, and he raised an eyebrow at her.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Please, this is child’s play,” she said, and the corners of his mouth twitched as they twisted the lids off of their jars, and each took a small spoonful. “Alright, Alice. You pick. Which one do you want? Daddy’s stupid bananas? Or Mummy’s yummy pears?”

“No, no, no, don’t do that, don’t use adjectives to try and persuade her opinion,” he scoffed. “Use science. Bananas, Alice, are much higher in potassium which you need. They also have about 44% more iron, 3 times the amount of magnesium, are higher in protein and will give you more energy and are the all around smarter choice.”

“But Daddy loooooves pears,” Rose said, and he lowered his spoon and turned to stare at her. “Eats them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”

“Why would you say that?” he asked, and she smiled, her tongue playing with the corner of her mouth as they looked back at Alice.

“Goo-ba-da,” she said, smiling at them, and he sniffed.

“Go ahead, darling. Which one?” he asked her, and they held their spoons up to her face, waiting in anticipation as she looked between them, and she reached for the bananas. “YES! ALICE! BRILLIANT!”

Rose groaned and handed him 10 quid, and he did a happy bounce as he set the jar to the side and kissed his daughter’s head, only to pick it back up and hold the spoon out to her. Rose couldn’t even pretend to be upset, not when her child was about to eat some semblance of actual food for the first time in her life, and she found herself quickly mesmerized by the look on her face as the Doctor got her to open her mouth and slurp up the mashed bananas. Half of it fell onto her bib, then onto the high chair, and he tried again, and again, until she finally swallowed a bite and clapped.

She giggled.

“Oh my God, she likes it,” Rose said, biting her lip, and suddenly her eyes were watering. The Doctor, too proud of his daughter to notice anything else at the moment, merely smiled and got her to eat another bite.

“Of course she does, it’s a banana. It’s impossible to not like them. And now! Rose Tyler! HA! Now, we should always take a banana with us to -”

“Don’t start,” she teased, nudging his side a little, and he just laughed, until he noticed she was trying not to cry. His smile fell and the jar of baby food was forgotten about as he stood and cupped her cheeks, using his thumb to wipe away her tears.

“Oh, Rose…” he said, pulling her into a hug.

“When did she get so big?” she said against his chest, and he smiled. “She was in my belly, the size of a banana yesterday. Do you remember that?”

“Course I do,” he whispered, and the softness of his voice made her tears spill over. “Rose, it’s okay.”

“S-s-she won’t want my milk soon, will she? She’s going to be so grown and- and- and what am I supposed to do with all of it?” she sobbed. He smiled at her.

“You’ll stop producing -”

“And then she’s going to be talking and walking and then she’s gonna run faster than we can and then the next thing we know she’s going to be piloting the ship and we’re going to be -”

“Okay, shhhhhh,” he said, rubbing her back. “It’s just a couple of bananas.”

She fluttered her lips, and he smiled at her, trying not to laugh. She wiped the last of her tears away and collapsed onto a chair and just sulked for a moment, but when she scooped up a sample of the pears so she could eat her feelings like it was ice cream, and had the audacity to do it right in front of him, the face he made was nothing short of horrified. “WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?!”

“Oh, God, it tastes like plastic,” she said, spitting it out into a napkin, and his skin felt like it was crawling with bugs. He began to stick his tongue in and out of his mouth, not hiding his disgust, and she started laughing. “Sorry! It was just there!”

“I can’t believe you just did that!” he shouted. “WHY?! WHY WOULD YOU...WHY!? I just gave that speech! Choose the bananas!”

His reaction was delighting Alice, who thought he was just being silly and she began to giggle and bounce in the high chair.

“Oh, not you, too. Don’t you dare, it’s not funny.”

She laughed harder, as did Rose. A happy high pitched sound coupled with a few syllables rang in the air as Rose got up to grab a glass of water, letting her own amusement subside as she gargled and washed the horrible aftertaste of that particular brand of baby food out of her mouth. He just stared at her. “I could have told you that was going to happen. Been saying it for years.”

“Mum told me that was the best one!” she said.

“And you believed her?” he asked, still unable to stop making a face. “I need you to go brush your teeth before I kiss you.”

“Are you serious?” she asked, and he raised an eyebrow at her. “Oh, please. It was one small bite and it’s washed out. Come here.”

She reached for him, having every intention of going to brush her teeth but she just wanted to watch him freak out a little bit more, and he jumped back and went to hide behind Alice, placing his hands on the edge of her highchair.

“Nope,” he said. “Superior taste buds. Palette has to be cleansed. I made an exception when you were all pickles and ice cream during pregnancy but this? Can’t do it.”

“You’re a bigger baby than she is,” she said.

“More adorable, too,” he said, smiling, and she just rolled her eyes. He looked down at Alice, and he winked. “Kidding.”

Rose smirked, but she knew how serious he was and she wanted him to be able to kiss him more than she wanted to win this battle of banter, so with an effort to rock her hips just to rile him up a little, she sauntered off to their ensuite to brush her teeth.

“Aaaaaaand we’re just going to throw this away, yes we are,” he said to his daughter as he picked up his wife’s jar of poison, making sure to use a tissue so he didn’t directly touch it, and it was in the bin faster than he could say Raxacorcicofallapatorius. Alice began to cry when he walked away, and he was at her side again instantly. “What’s wrong? You still hungry?"

He helped her eat more bananas, though she only consumed about a quarter of the jar. The rest was on the floor or her face, which was honestly better than he expected for her first time. He smiled at her and wiped her chin clean, and he let the TARDIS take care of the floor as he grabbed a bottle of breastmilk, too, figuring she was probably still hungry.

For a few minutes, it was just him and his daughter, and he smiled at her while she suckled the bottle, slowly rocking her in the chair as he did. “I love you so much, you perfect little thing.”

She started to fuss a little, and he shifted how he was holding her and the bottle, and he started to sing to offer a distraction. Her eyes widened at the sound, and she smiled, and he remembered how much she loved music, so he just kept going.

“Okay, so I -” Rose started to say as she walked back in, but she shut up the moment she saw what he was doing. She bit her lip, letting the cadence of his voice wrap itself around her, and she had to lean against the wall to steady herself, falling impossibly more in love with him, and thinking he really was the most wonderful man.

She waited. When the song was over he turned around to set the bottle down, smiling at her when he realized she was there. “Hello.”

“The Beatles?” she asked softly, pushing away from the wall so she could wrap her arms around his neck as he kissed their daughter.

“Well….she likes to hold my hand,” he whispered. Rose smiled.

“Not just her,” she said, proving her point as her fingers molded to his without either of them having to look, and a spark of arousal flew between them. “That was really sweet.”

He winked. “Did you brush your teeth?”

“Maybe. Kiss me and find out,” she flirted, but he could smell the toothpaste, and he kept Alice on his hip as he brought their lips together. She moaned a little, and he smiled.

“So much better,” he said, but she ignored him and just kept kissing him, until they both had to pull away when Alice tugged on her father’s hair. Hard. “Ow!”

“Come here, sweet girl,” Rose said, pulling her daughter into a hug. “Mummy loves you. I’m so proud of you. Yes! Good job.”

She smiled wider with every word Rose spoke, and he watched them hug. “We should go somewhere. Celebrate her milestone.”

“Okay,” she said, smiling. “Where’s the best baby food in the galaxy? We can get her to try it all.”

“Brilliant,” he murmured, kissing her again. “We’ll go in the morning. I promised her I would read her a bedtime story. Charlotte’s Web? What do you think?”

“No, that’s so sad, read When You Give A Mouse A Cookie,” Rose said, and he raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“She’s a Time Lord, I’m not reading that to her,” he said, and she rolled her eyes. “And, Rose Tyler, I'll have you know I happen to have the first draft of Charlotte's Web. Long story - how I got it, not the draft - grammatical errors left and right, but the plot is much better.”

“Oh, well now I have to hear it,” she teased. He laughed, and together they walked to the nursery, where Rose curled up on the rug and watched him hold Alice in the rocking chair, and as he read the story, she found herself falling asleep, too.

He stopped the chapter before he was even halfway through when he noticed they were both out like a light, and he chuckled a little, carefully bringing Alice over to her crib. Gently, he laid her on the blankets and tucked her in, and he aimed his sonic screwdriver at the lights, flipping them off.

The projection of the cosmos in the paint illuminated around him, spilling over every inch of the room. He clenched his jaw a little and looked down at Rose, making sure she was still asleep before he walked toward the bookcase, and he shifted the view, revealing the spot in the sky Gallifrey once sat.

He stared at it.

“Hey,” Rose whispered after a few minutes, slowly stirring on the floor. “Hum in my head.”

“Sorry, I’m fine,” he said, pulling his focus to her and helping her stand up. “She’s asleep.”

“You want her to stay here?” she asked, and he nodded. “What if she needs us?”

“Nah, she’ll be okay. She’s been sleeping through the night for weeks,” he said softly. “And we both share a bond with her. We’ll know if she wakes up, and she’s getting too big for the bassinet anyway. I think it’s a good day to do it.”

Rose bit her lip and looked at her, watching the rise and fall of her stomach. It was slow and steady, and she just nodded, but there was a lump in her throat that was hard to swallow. She wanted her to grow up, she did, she couldn’t wait for so many things, but two milestones in one day just felt like a lot, and this one she hadn’t been prepared for at all. “I just…”

“Come here,” he whispered as he pulled her into a hug, holding her tightly, and he kissed the top of her head. “I promise she’s okay.”

“No, I know,” she muttered. “I’m just... sad, I guess. I know it’s stupid. And I’m not...It’s a good thing, I know it is, but…”

“What?” he murmured.

“Can she sleep in our room tomorrow night? Maybe?” she asked, and he smiled at her.

“We can switch off, hm? Every other night for a bit? Until you feel ready?” he offered.

“Really?” she asked, and he smiled at the tenderness of her tone.

“It’s not stupid, Rose. I understand. I really do. I’m sad, too,” he said. “Even if we find a way to get her regenerations, which we will, she’ll never be this little again. I know that. But like you said. It’s a good thing.”

Rose felt tears well up but she held them back, and he hugged her again. She looked up at the projection over his shoulder, and when she saw the hourglass nebula he once showed her after they defeated the Master and Rassilon so very long ago, she froze. “Is that…”

“Hm?” he asked, and then realized what she was looking at. “Oh. Yeah.”

“You okay?” she asked, and he nodded.

“Just...looking,” he said. “Making sure nothing changed. Making sure it’s still...well…”

“Hidden?” she whispered. He just took a deep breath and exhaled sharply.

“Something like that,” he admitted. “It’s safe, it’s fine. I’m fine. I promise.”

“Good,” she said, and he kissed her, letting his tongue swipe across her lips. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” he murmured. “Let’s let her sleep.”

He took her hand and walked directly across the hall to their own room, keeping both doors open in case Alice did end up needing them, but as soon as they were both washed up and laying down, he realized they were essentially alone, and he decided to take advantage of it.

“Can we…” he started to say, and she straddled him, apparently thinking the same thing. His hands roamed her back as they kissed, and she pulled her t-shirt over her head, suddenly bare chested and hovering on top of him. He began to explore her skin with his tongue like it was new territory, despite the fact he knew the map of her moles just as well as the stars. He was careful and almost tentative, and she let out a long moan when he flicked his fingers over the soft mounds of flesh that were right at his eyeline, giving them a gentle squeeze.

He rolled them over so he was on top of her, peeling his own shirt off as he found her neck, then her jaw, licking and sucking, and she panted his name. “I want…”

“What?” he asked, stopping and looking at her. “Tell me.”

She connected their minds, and he shuddered. She took over the kisses for a moment, bringing her lips to his chest, and as they shimmied out of the rest of their clothing he slithered down so he could explore more of her with his tongue, and he made her scream, which she somehow had the brain power to remember to cover with her hand so they didn’t wake Alice up with the open doors.

“Have I ever told you…” he began as he trailed kisses up her stomach, then her chest, until he reached her lips. “How much I love how you taste?”

“Mmm, no,” she said, smirking at him.

“Wait, really?” he asked, his tone suddenly more alarmed than sexy, and she laughed.

“Every single time,” she whispered, gripping his hair on the back of his head. “Even if you don’t say it out loud, I hear you. We share a mind, remember?”

“Good,” he said, his voice returning to its husky tone, and he kissed her again. “Because I do...It’s...there’s this sweetness to you I can’t get enough of. And also this tanginess that’s just...I just want it. All the time. It’s intoxicating ....Drives me absolutely insane....”

She whimpered, and he winked, then let her massage his scalp as they kissed. He couldn’t resist joining their bodies together, and they slowly started to move, exploring every inch of what the other had to offer. Every tightening of every muscle, every gentle stroke.

It lasted for a while, full of soft pants and quiet moans, and they both marveled a little at how incredibly addicting it was to be able to do this without stressing about timelines or diamonds or vengeful Time Lords; without worrying in the back of their minds about whether or not it would be the last time they got to make love at all.

It was just them, dancing and writhing and groaning between their sheets, letting time stand as still as it possibly could.

His forehead buried itself onto the crook of her neck as he began to make strangled noises, so close to bursting it was starting to feel like a fire inside of him, and when she thought the word ‘forever’ he came so hard he nearly broke the bed frame.

She was carried away with him, and they smiled as they caught their breath, glistening a little with sweat. He kissed her, and she pulled her hair out of her face as they settled next to each other on the mattress. “Think it’ll still be like that in seven hundred years?” she panted.

He chuckled.

“No,” he said. “I think it’ll be better.”

She smiled at him, and he gave her the most adoring look as he wrapped his arms around her, and this time fell asleep together, ready for whatever the following day would bring.