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s-brant · 3 years

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Cherry Bowl (3/8)

(gif: @kiekiecarrera) (PART TWO) (PART FOUR) (SERIES MASTERLIST)

Summary: When Kie cancels their plans together, Y/N asks JJ on a date to the Cherry Bowl Drive-In. Unsure of how to navigate his first ever date, JJ seeks out advice. Unfortunately, the night doesn’t go as planned, and both parties are left shaken by miscommunication.

Word Count: 10.6k

Warnings: Smut, public sex/exhibitionism, sexual choking, angst, depictions of mental illness, post-traumatic stress disorder, and implied/referenced abuse.

A/N: Welcome back to Tokens! Slight trouble in paradise is brewing for these two lovers, so buckle up and read because it’s gonna be a rollercoster for a little while after what happens in this chapter. I hope you all like it, and if you did, feedback is very appreciated. Have fun!

"I'm just saying that oatmeal raisin is superior to chocolate chip, why is that such an egregious crime, Kie?"

The lunch room is filled to the brim with students going to town on questionably cooked frozen foods, soggy tater tots, and sugary drinks from the vending machines despite the Obama-era posters on the walls advocating for healthier school lunches that never seemed to make their way to Kildare County High. The extent of their healthy lunches extended to a serving of overcooked canned green beans served with the worst slice of doughy pizza known to human kind, so it was sort of contradictory.

Y/N sits across the table from Pope and JJ, the latter of which being the one who launched into a full-fledged debate with Kiara about which type of cookie was better.

The clear cling wrap sits, unfolded, on the table with one of her stickers neatly placed on the back of it. As consolation for his epic loss yesterday at the beach, she paid an extra .75 cents to get him it when she arrived first to their shared lunch period—one of only two class periods they have together, the other being gym. He was still in line when she peeled a surfboard sticker off of her sheet and placed it at the center of the wrapped up cookie as if to remind him of her triumph over him in the waves.

"Thanks, hot stuff," he said, voice somewhat quieter despite the fact that hardly anyone was in the cafeteria with them. Then his smile dropped into an deadpan expression as soon as he saw her choice of sticker and looked back up at her. "You're never gonna let me live that one down, are you?"

"Never in a million years. I'll be gloating about it until I'm elderly."

"That's my girl."

The sound of the constant chatter surrounding them from at least two hundred other people drowns out the memories of yesterday that threaten to haunt her when she watches him debate with Kie. The mere recollection of their night in the back of the van has her reaching to pull the collar of her cropped tee up to assure that the hickeys remain hidden on instinct, and he catches the action out of the corner of his eye. It has him fighting a smile.

Kie quips, "Maybe on another planet, but, here, I think we can all agree chocolate chip is better, right Y/N?"

Y/N's eyes widen around a forkful of mushy "green beans" at the sound of her name being said bringing her from the depths of her memories.

Usually, she's quick to jump in and give her two cents on whatever stupid back and forth they're all having, but her mind was elsewhere. Unbeknownst to Kie and Pope, she was mentally reliving every second of getting fucked in the van last night, so her attention to detail when it comes to the Chocolate Chip vs Oatmeal Raisin case isn't all too sharp.

"Uhhh," she stops for a second, looking at the half eaten chocolate chip cookie in Kie's hand, "If I say chocolate chip is better, can I get a piece of it?"

Kie's face lights up at her words, and she's already pulling off a generous chunk of the baked good to hand off to her. The sound of a certain someone whose lap Y/N's legs are outstretched onto from beneath the table scoffing distracts her from the first bite.

"I know you prefer oatmeal raisin, you traitor," JJ says.

Their brunette friend's brows scrunch.

"Why is she a traitor?"

They try to keep from making any faces or giving anything away, but Y/N has to stifle the sound of her choking on her mouthful of cookie at the question. You'd think one of them came out and asked if they were dating or something with how she reacts, and she feels JJ squeeze her ankle in a non-verbal way of telling her to hold it together. It was her idea in the first place, yet he's a lot smoother with keeping it under the radar.

Under it all, the aspect of keeping it a secret does unnerve him to a degree. He doesn't think he'd be brave enough to communicate it, especially not when their relationship remains undefined, but the darker side of his mind wonders...

He shrugs, saying, "Cause we were friends first. Duh. Other than John B, I've known her the longest."

None of them stop to acknowledge the identical aches in their hearts at the mentioning of his name. They skip right over it like it never happened. After the funeral a few days ago, they've filled their quota on mushy-gushy sad talk for the next week and a half.

The real reason is something far more complicated than him having a claim staked on her loyalty through having the longest friendship. It's something tied up in days of slowly getting pulled into one another's worlds like the tug of gravity itself, in how he has to refrain from slipping his arm around her waist in the hallway or kissing her goodbye after a sleepover at the Chateau. But until she gives him the go-ahead, he won't let it slip to anyone.

Pope speaks up from beside him, "You literally met her twenty minutes before we did."

"Still counts. Technically, I did meet her first, so her betraying Team Oatmeal Raisin is enough to be tried for treason in Pogue Court."

"Pogue Court isn't a thing."

He crosses his arms after he pops the rest of the cookie into his mouth.

"It is now. You can be tried for treason for breaking the rules. Rule number one is that all Pogues have to admit oatmeal raisin is superior."

He's about to ball up the cling wrap to throw away later when the surfboard sticker catches his attention again. It's the same color as his board, which he'd like to think is a result of her being an evil mastermind that went out to get this sticker sheet for the sole purpose of teasing him, but he's the one who got her the sheet as a gift for her birthday, so he knows it was pure coincidence.

Last second, he peels the sticker away from the cling wrap and looks down to place it over the top of her yellow converse that were once a vibrant, paler color when Big John got them for her, but have since turned into an ugly mustard/dirt-dusted color they heckle her over.

"What are the other rules?" Y/N asks.

One of the hands holding onto where her feet are casually planted in his lap, something that they've done long enough that their friends won't see it as anything odd, slides down to caress the stretch of skin beneath the frayed hem of her dark jeans. Something she didn't know about him before whatever it is they have together started was that he constantly needs to be touching her. She can't say she doesn't love it though.

Pope answers, "The oatmeal raisin rule is not official"—a pointed glance at JJ—"But I'd assume the rest of the rules of Pogue Court would be no lying and no macking."

"So, basically you two break almost every rule except the oatmeal raisin one, and I lie," JJ says and turns to look at her, "How does it feel to be better than everyone, Y/N?"

"Pretty good, not gonna lie."

He keeps caressing little circles and tracing up and down her skin beneath the flared out pant leg of her jeans while he swipes his phone off of the table top without attracting the attention of their friends, who continue on to a new topic. She isn't too focused on what it is. She only picks up that it has something to do with a class they're in that's more advanced that hers, so she promptly checks out of the conversation.

Ever since John B died, she hasn't been performing too well in school. She tries, truly tries, but her mind outright refuses to absorb any of the information. When she reads her assigned reading, she hovers over the same paragraphs over and over until she shuts the book in a huff and hides it in her backpack again. Losing someone you love has a surprising amount of side effects.

Her phone buzzing in her hand brings her away from the impending cloud of doom that often accompanies any thoughts of John B, and when she taps in her passcode, her brother's birthday, a message bubble appears with a banner displaying JJ's contact name.

JJ (Derogatory) ur a good liar. prob could've fooled me if i weren't the one macking on u

Their eyes meet for a second across the table, then he watches her thumbs move to type a response.

Kief Princess Little do they know I break every rule now that I've switched sides on the cookie debate. Kinda impressive ngl.

JJ (Derogatory) triple threat, baby

JJ (Derogatory) thanks for the cookie btw

She smiles to herself, so wrapped up in their own world that she doesn't notice everyone in the room starting to pack up their stuff in anticipation of the bell that is due to ring any second now.

Kief Princess Had to repay you for last night somehow ;)

When she glances up to see his reaction, she watches his chest rise with a particularly large inhale, and he chews on the inside of his lip in thought.

JJ (Derogatory) strategically bringing up last night so i'm turned on in physics? ur an evil mastermind

Kief Princess I try.

Kief Princess Apparently whooping your sorry ass at surfing isn't the only thing I'm good at.

She hears him scoff.

JJ (Derogatory) first of all, ouch. second, u barely beat me

Kief Princess I'm happy to challenge you to a rematch. I have plans with Kie tonight, so I can't till this weekend. All it'll prove is that I am the rightful winner, but we knew that already.

JJ (Derogatory) what r the stakes this time

Kief Princess No sexual favors. If you beat me (fat chance) I'll formally rejoin team oatmeal raisin.

JJ (Derogatory) :( sex makes it more fun but i still accept those conditions

JJ (Derogatory) team oatmeal raisin needs u, even if ur a traitor

Kief Princess Why bet sexual favors if you're just gonna fuck me after anyway?

JJ (Derogatory) good point

The sound of the bell ringing echoes through the cafeteria, and they both pop their heads up from their phone screens to see everyone, including Pope and Kie, already packed up and raising from their seats to scurry off in the direction of their next classes. Meanwhile, their stuff is all bestrewn across the table, particularly JJ's belongings.

The sight of Kie walking away makes Y/N ask after her, "We're still on for tonight, right?

She stops with Pope's hand interwoven in hers. The look on her face when she turns would make you think she got caught doing something she wasn't meant to. Something like forgetting about the plans they made last week to watch Fear Street together. The Cherry Bowl Drive-In is premiering the first two movies as a double feature for the horror movie buffs of Kildare, so they decided to get tickets. Kiara shares a fondness of horror movies with her. Since gory movies make the boys squirm, though JJ pretends they don't, it's their own thing.

"Actually, Pope and I were gonna go to the beach. I'm sorry."

JJ knows she's more upset about it than she lets on, but Y/N simply gives the pair a smile that doesn't reach the eyes.

The sound of JJ behind her makes them laugh on their way out, diffusing the minor tension lingering in the air from the awkward encounter, "Use protection!"

After their friends offer them a goodbye, they gather their stuff quite leisurely, not really caring about being late.

It's something they've talked about before here or there: her feelings surrounding Kiara and Pope's sudden relationship. It's not as if she harbors any ill feelings for them, she doesn't, but the ripple effects of their pairing on the group, and more importantly the girls' own friendship, couldn't be clearer from her perspective. Between the missed hangouts, forgotten plans, and the convenient way she never seems to have time to hang out with her and JJ unless Pope is there too, it's been building up for a month now.

What makes it sting the most is how close her and Kie used to be. They didn't hit it off immediately the way she and JJ did as children until her thirteenth birthday when no one she invited showed up to the party Big John helped her set up in the yard of the Chateau.

She was the one who rallied the boys together to walk to ask their school friends from the year above to come hang out for an hour or two, promising a slice of the wonky-looking but delicious strawberry cake her and John B spent the morning crafting together. She can remember the sound of their high-pitched laughs and the cloud of flour that hung in the kitchen when they high-fived over the finished product like it was yesterday. In her heart, it was yesterday.

That night was when she fell in love with her friends, and that was when she first knew Kiara was her best friend. They wove friendship bracelets on each other that night and wore them for years until they withered away. No one had ever done something like that for her before. Not even JJ.

"You okay?"

Feeling his hand on her arm, slipping down to take her hand for a moment in the seclusion of the empty cafeteria, makes her glance up at him with a distinct sorrow washed over her features.

You know what? Screw this. Why should she be torn up over Kie and let it ruin her excitement for the double feature tonight? There's no way in hell she's letting her best friend ditching her for her boyfriend get in the way of her plans.

"Do you wanna go on a date tonight?" she asks him abruptly, then adds, "To the Cherry Bowl with me instead of Kie?"

The question sparks a pause in his mind, a halt of hesitation in which he worries about her avoiding having to answer what he asked, but he attempts to play it cool and not fuss over her outwardly. There have been times where being treated like that has made her feel suffocated, so he doesn't want to risk it. When she's ready, she'll talk about it, and if she takes too long and buries her feelings, then he'll intervene. For now, he tries to keep his face neutral despite the frown tempting his lips at her disappointment.

JJ looks around once more before throwing his arm around her shoulder to walk her out.

"You bet your ass I do."

What is a person supposed to act like on their first date that's not actually a date cause everything between them is the same, but kinda is a date because they called it one? If you ever find out, please find JJ and tell him because he has no clue.

Pope wasn't too much help in the Instagram group chat he made for it seeing as his and Kie's relationship is too fresh, John B isn't even alive, so he's out of service for advice unless there's Ouija Board he can borrow, and, thankfully, Kiara was his savior.

Their phones began blowing up as soon as he reached his class after lunch period ended. He couldn't under any circumstances let it be known that this mystery girl he had a date with was their friend, but thankfully Y/N already had the alibi of going to the Drive-In alone. All he had to do was make up a fake date scenario and get basic advice.

danknugstickiestickies added kiara-c and popeheyward to the groupchat

danknugstickiestickies named the group HELP ME

danknugstickiestickies i have a date with this chick i met on the beach when i was out with y/n last week. i need ur advice

His phone screen lit up with the notification that both of his friends were typing, signified with the three dot symbol bouncing in the bottom left corner as he thought it through. They couldn't possibly figure it out, right? They'd been careful, he'd been respectful of her wishes, and they'd been too busy together to notice anything new with them. He figured it would work. It was a risk, sure, but it was worth it to him. He didn't want to fuck this up with her.

Knowing her, she probably wouldn’t even treat it differently than any of their other hang outs. It's not like they haven't been romantic or sexual with each other. They've done everything but go out on an actual date, so why was he nervous?

kiara-c ummmm

popeheyward Yeah, I'm gonna need you to ELABORATE!!

kiara-c did hell freeze over? since when does jj maybank go out on dates??

danknugstickiestickies renamed the group hell froze over

kiara-c very funny, I'm laughing so hard 😐

popeheyward Do we know her?

danknugstickiestickies don't think u do. she moved here last week and hasn't enrolled in school yet. her name's steph

popeheyward What about Y/N though?

kiara-c ^^

JJ's chest muscles tightened with the question prompting a rush of anxiety that made his breathing feel slightly harder. He glanced up at his Physics teacher, who was essentially dozing off behind his desk with his hand in a bag of chips and an educational video on the projector as an excuse to not teach, and looked back down at his phone without the added stress of possibly getting his phone confiscated.

Pope's message might as well have been a sucker punch. Forget butterflies, he set a wasp’s nest loose inside of his stomach to tie it into knots and flip it every which way. His neglected textbook served as a prop for his phone to lean on as he set it down to think.

Did they know? As far as he was aware, they were getting away with it. No evidence, concrete or circumstantial, was there to prove it. At least the stress of the situation killed any chance of him being turned on by her reminder of last night in their messages. This shit was boner repellant of the highest degree.

He played stupid. Better to let them volunteer whatever information they had before he went in saying anything incriminating that they didn't already know. If anything would sour the experience of their first date, it would be him accidentally making their strange in-between relationship public behind her back.

danknugstickiestickies ?? what do u mean

Three dots bounced in the bottom left corner of his slightly cracked phone screen.

popeheyward ...

kiara-c I mean, you don't see it?

danknugstickiestickies see what

popeheyward I guess we were wrong, but all of us always thought you two had some feelings going on.

"You don't say?" JJ murmured sarcastically to himself under his breath. "Never crossed my mind, Pope."

danknugstickiestickies bro that's jb's little sister

kiara-c so?

danknugstickiestickies forbidden fruit? making john b roll over in his grave? do those ring a bell or am i speaking in tongues

He was already a proficient liar in real life, but, fuck, it was easy in text messages. There's no chance at deciphering facial expression or tone, just a plain message with no room to budge. Thank God he didn't do this in person with them. He could've survived, but it wouldn't have been as quick and painless as the group chat was.

kiara-c jeez, sorry

Pope didn't voice it, but he noticed something.

He looked up from his phone and stared off at the wall in thought in his AP European History class. It piqued his interest that JJ simply said she was off limits, forbidden fruit as he put it, but did not outright deny having feelings for her. In fact, he didn't even address the question. He made excuses for why he shouldn't have feelings for her, but he never said he didn't have feelings for her.

Kie did not notice. Not because she wasn't smart enough to either, but because she was too busy hiding her phone behind her backpack to think too deeply about it. Her teacher was one of those teachers that would flip shit if they saw a cell phone turned off and faced down on the desk, let alone being used by a student during a lesson.

In his classroom across the hallway, JJ bounced his leg up and down beneath his desk in an absentminded urge to release the built up energy the anxiety produced in an over abundance.

popeheyward Our bad then. Even John B thought y'all were sus lmao.

Since when was that a known fact? Could he tell? Did he talk to Pope about him and Y/N before he died? Either way, it wasn't the time to pry about it.

kiara-c yeah you guys honestly could've fooled me if you wanted to

danknugstickiestickies well thank u, glad ur invested in our friendship but

danknugstickiestickies please help, i have no fucking clue how to act on a date and this girl is too cool for me to screw this up

That was when they finally dropped the interrogation session and started offering up tips. The best ones came from Kie, which made sense to him since women are more likely to know what other women like than two dudes who share one collective brain cell and never had real relationships.

Rule One: Be ready to pick her up five minutes early.

He wasn't ready to pick her up five minutes early. His bike broke down by the time he made it halfway down his street, so he had to push it back up the road and into the yard before setting off on foot to reach the Chateau quickly enough. And by quickly enough, it means he got there five minutes late, not early.

Rule Two: Compliment her after you get in the car.

She tossed him the keys to the Twinkie from across the hood, not giving him the chance to open the door for her, and it wasn't until they were setting off down the road that he remembered the next piece of advice he was given.

Side-eyeing her in his peripheral vision, he tried to find something to compliment her on specifically rather than the general compliments about her being pretty that she never fully believes when he says them. He was intending to say something about the skirt she had on, but when he chanced a glance over at her, she caught him and asked—

"What is it?"

Sent into panic mode, JJ blurted out instead, "I like your shoes."

He could've bashed his face against the steering wheel twenty times right then and there at the utter absence of reaction on her part for the next few uncomfortable seconds. It wasn't that it was a bad compliment. She appreciates any compliments at all...but her shoes were hidden from his view. Not to mention, they were the dirty, mustard yellow converse that the Pogues bash on a daily basis.

She laughed, lifting her leg to expose the sneaker on her right foot, and asked, "These? Dude, you roast me for these all the time. You and John B said they look like Big Bird shit on them."

The skin on the apples of his cheeks scorched hot with embarrassment, and he was never so glad that the overhead lights in the van were burnt out until that moment. He would've died on the spot if she saw him blush like that, face flushed pinker than sunburn. All he could do to save himself was murmur something about the color growing on him and keep driving in the direction of the theater with his hands white-knuckling the steering wheel he fantasized about banging his face into.

Rule Three: Insist on picking up the check.

In this case, it meant insist on buying the popcorn and drinks, and he miraculously managed to drop his wallet somewhere along the way when he ran over to the Chateau, so when he stepped up to the makeshift concession stand with her standing at his side, he felt around for his wallet in his jeans to no avail.

His thoughts echoed back to him, You gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously? Is this actually happening right now?

"JJ, it's honestly fine," she said softly as he leaned over to search back of the Twinkie for the wallet. "We can look for it on your street right now if you want. It has your ID and stuff, you don't want a stranger to have that. We don't need to stay—"

It took all of his control to not shout it in reaction when he said, "No way. You've been waiting for this, and Kie ditched you, so I ain't ditching you too. We're staying."

His wallet could go kick rocks.

He came too far to be dragged down by the old leathery piece of shit anyway. Would he go out and search for it tirelessly the second the date ended? Hell yeah, that fucker had twenty dollars and his debit card in it, but he couldn't bear the thought of abandoning her or ruining her anticipated movie night by taking her out to search the streets with their phone flashlights for a wallet they might not find. He'd wait till the movies ended, take her home, then haul ass around the Cut searching for it after.

Thankfully, he found a couple bucks crumbled up in his front pocket while she scavenged for coins in the glove compartment, and they came up with enough to buy a water bottle and small popcorn to share together.

Rule Four: Don't have sex on the first date.

And it may sound easy enough to not act like a complete Neanderthal for the length of two movies, but the girl makes it pretty damn difficult if he's to say so himself.

That's what led him here, laying in the back of the sideways-parked Twinkie in the farthest corner of the outdoor theater with her practically on top of him. In any other instance, he wouldn't be opposed in the slightest, but with the cursed fourth rule in mind, he isn't too thrilled with the feeling of her hand rubbing up and down his thigh.

It isn't even meant to be sexual. They're constantly touching one another this way. She'll even slip her hands up under his shirt just to feel the warmth of his skin or when he asks her if she can get an itch on a part of his back he can't reach, but for some reason his brain is short circuiting right now.

The thing is, when Kie and Pope said he shouldn't do it on the first date, they meant it for his and Steph's made up circumstances, not his and Y/N's full-blown relationship without labels. When you've had sex with someone as many times as they have with each other, the hesitancy on the "first date" is nonexistent. It doesn't matter. But JJ, trying to follow the advice given to him to the letter for the sake of being the date she deserves, doesn't think about it that way.

It shouldn't be this nerve-wracking. They've been best friends since they were children, they've been flirting since they found out what basic attraction was in the first place, and they've been forming this relationship ever since John B died. Why can't he relax? Why is this so different compared to how easy it felt between them yesterday on the beach or today at lunch?

Rule Five: Be yourself.

It takes him another few moments of laying here with her before he realizes quite abruptly what went wrong in a quick flash of a thought that brings the fifth rule back to him. The problem wasn't the bike, or the weird compliment about her Big Bird sneakers, or the lost wallet.

The problem is him. The problem is that he's trying way too hard to make this something it isn't. The part about them that he adores so dearly is how they never have to try when they're together. With any other girl or guy, they'd have to fake something or act a certain way, yet when they're together, they can simply exist and everything is runs smoothly. That's not to say they don't disagree or bump heads, they do, but short of those outlier moments, it's easier than anything else they do in life.

His eyes flicker away from the screen for the first time since the movie began, which, by the way, is gruesome enough at times that he had to divert his eyes to prevent himself from seeing it happen. They land on where she lays, completely content with the night in spite of its mishaps, with her head propped up on the pillows they brought from the Chateau.

He wonders if she can tell he's acting differently. Surely she must notice. She's the type of person that typically never misses a thing, perfect for the gold hunt they went on in the summer with picking up the clues and helping her brother unravel the mystery, so maybe she noticed how flustered this date has him. Does it bother her? Does he bother her?

With a confirming glance back up at the movie to see nothing important happening, he can't fight the urge to speak anymore.

"Can I tell you something?"

His voice appearing through the darkness of the shut off van after spending the past half hour in complete silence makes her jolt at first before realizing who it was. Though she loves horror movies, she can't claim to not be affected by them. The night she falls asleep after watching one, she often finds herself compelled to turn a light on and keep her feet from dangling off the edge of the bed. It's worth the fear, though.

When she turns to look at JJ, there's a warm smile on her face. She's cuddled into his side with a hand placed casually atop his thigh, caressing with no purpose or intent, and her movement halts when the light from the movie on the projector allows her to see the expression on his face.

Anxiety has become an increasingly significant presence in his life with the recent events in mind; John B and Sarah, the four-hundred million dollars they lost out on, and dodging his father whenever he sneaks home to switch out the backpack of clothes and personal belongings he keeps at the Routledge house.

It manifests itself in jittery nerves, stomach pains, shortness of breath, and, at worst, panic attacks striking either at random or in response to a specific trigger. It's one of the few things he still tries to hide from her, and she tries not to push him too hard with opening up about it.

She abandons the movie for the time being and rolls onto her side to face him, upper body propped up on her elbow as she examines his face with downturned features.

"Of course," she says.

The words left unsaid are, "You can tell me anything. Whenever you need someone to listen, or to talk to about shit, you can tell me." He's heard her say it enough that he doesn't need to hear it now to know it's true.

There's a pause, then—

"I feel like I fucked this entire date up," he starts to ramble and cuts her off before she can think about saying what she wants to, "and I know it's okay to you. You have way too high of a tolerance for my bullshit, and I've been trying so hard to make this perfect, but all that did was screw it up."

She's left quiet for a second, taking it all in.

Maybe if he hadn't been so anxious about it, he would've realized what was wrong with his bike when he rode it home from school, or he would've noticed his wallet fall out of his pocket. The point is, he wishes he hadn't let the label attached to this freak him out so much. He isn't sure why it does, but it does.

But she doesn't do what he expects. She isn't drowning him in reassurances and, "It's okay's" because she knows he doesn't care for them much. When he, the most stubborn person she knows, apologizes for something he did, he doesn't want it to turn into the person accepting the apology coddling him.

Y/N sighs.

"Is that why you've been acting so different all night? I scared you with the whole ‘date’ thing, didn't I? It doesn't have to be a date if you don't want it to be."

What she doesn't know is that he wants it to be a date. He wants it to be a date so badly, he risked Pope and Kie finding them out for the sake of getting some proper advice on it, and now he's caught up in the same game of tug and war in his mind that always occurs when he wants to tell her the truth about his feelings for her.

Part of him doesn't understand why he doesn't outright say it. With every other girl he once showed interest in, he had no issues in letting them know he wanted them, but this is different. This isn't simply wanting someone, he thinks he's fallen for her. But whenever he says he's gonna grow a pair and tell her after all this time, he chokes. Involuntarily, he's reminded of his parents. Other than his friends saying it platonically, the only people to tell him they loved him were them, and with how they treated him, he sure as hell doesn't think that is love.

From his dad's brutal physical abuse to his mom's abandonment, he's too timid to tell her he loves her because of what could happen if she loves him back. Everyone else that has said that to him has either hurt him, died like John B did, or abandoned him.

He won't let that happen with him and Y/N. What they have, albeit undefined and codependent, is safe. It's the only thing he has left. Maybe it isn't right, and maybe he should open up about it to communicate the correct way, but somewhere in the misshapen logic of his mind, he correlates love to abandonment. And he doesn't want that to happen with her.

There are two sides of him at battle inside his mind. One side, the side that wants to do right by their relationship and actually communicate his feelings for once in his life, wants him to tell her everything. The other side, the side that responds based on the history of his past, wants him to hide it all.

"Will you be mad at me if we don't call it a date?" he asks.

She shakes her head.

The heavy sensation inside of JJ's chest nears a point of vitriolic violence against him as he starts to realize what he's doing to her, clearly letting her down, but he can't stop himself. Like a passive witness watching himself from outside of his body, the instantaneous trauma response to the sudden confrontation of his true feelings for her guides his actions without his permission. It shuts down any protest he has.

The sound of the movie fills the gap of silence between them the entire time. It’s a variety of bloodcurdling screams and disgusting sounds that would've made him gag if he weren't as distracted.

They can make out each other's faces through the darkness, but barely. It takes a flash of bright color from the film or a nearby car's lights turning on for them to fully see one another. Without the other knowing, they both put masks of calm and collected coolness on their faces despite the feelings raging beneath the surface—more so on his part than hers.

"Maybe," he says, pausing, "we should just keep things the way they've been."

As soon as the words leave his mouth, a soul-crushing amount of disappointment weighs her down. She said it was fine if he doesn't want it to be a date—and it is, she would never hold it against him—but that doesn't mean it can't hurt her. Things have been going so well, she almost thought...If tonight went well, she was thinking about no longer keeping it a secret, but if he said he wants things to stay the same, then maybe he isn't as ready for it as she is?

Meanwhile, JJ is on another page entirely.

She's embarrassed of being with you, a familiar voice in the back of his head croons. She's gonna leave just like everyone else does. If she doesn't even wanna tell your friends, why should you pretend you're dating?

The internal comments are the type that cause him to physically grimace when he's alone. Intrusive thoughts are just that: intrusive.

Sneaking into the guarded sanctuary of a person's mind, they set out to convince them the opposite of their reality. The only thing is, where most people's minds are guarded sanctuaries with walls of impregnable defense, his mind is the equivalent of a fortress blown to smithereens. The castle walls lay in rubble, the guards no where to be seen, and the path for these thoughts to slip past and straight to the vulnerability of his mind is left wide open.

In the privacy of his room, these thoughts attack him the most at night when he tries to fall asleep—when things get too quiet. With nobody around, when they get this bad there's nothing he can do except break down. It builds from the mere anxiety of attempting to force the thoughts away to full-blown panic attack mode. The more he resists them, the more aggressive they become. He'll gasp for air with tears streaming down his face, hitting his head with the heel of his hand as if that'd do something to stop his relentless mind.

But he can't afford to react in front of her, so the extent of his reaction is a subtle twitch of his face that she cannot see in the momentary darkness before the movie switches to another scene a second later. In a way, it does make the thoughts go away to have her here preventing him from spiraling alone. Having to focus on her keeps his mind away for moments at a time until the thoughts ease their grip on him.

When she hasn't answered for a while, he asks, terrified that he did something bad, "Are we good?"

The question seems to wake her up, snapping her out of the lonely direction her thoughts went into when he "rejected" her. It takes every bit of common sense she has left to force herself to understand that this doesn't mean he doesn't want her. He does, and not calling this a date doesn't mean they won't be together in the way they have been since John B's death, but she isn't perfect. She gets as unsure and insecure as he does.

As if the cloud of doom was lifted off of her, she makes her face lighten where she lays on her side next to him. Seeing this expression makes his chest feel less heavy, and he could let out a sigh of relief at the realization that he didn't break her heart and stomp on it. He should've known. Y/N is the sweetest person he knows, so she never would've flipped shit over him not wanting to label this as a date. That's not how she is.

And he's partly right. It isn't how she is. She would never hold it against him if he didn't want something further with her since she got herself into this position by pursuing him with his reputation with girls in mind, but she can't ignore it. Whether she wants it to or not, it had its affect on her as soon as he said it.

She leans in to kiss him, their lips meeting in the middle with the faint taste of popcorn salt mingling at the soft peck.

When she pulls away, she brushes the hair back from his face and says, "Don't worry. Nothing can change how I feel about you."

She has no clue what it feels like to hear that from her.

Despite the turmoil they unknowingly share beneath the surface due to this conversation, he could cry hearing her say it. It doesn't feel real to him that she feels the same way he does about her, because nothing could change how he feels about her either. That’s why he manages to work up the courage to repeat it back to her, and, for now, this is the closest he's physically capable of coming to telling her the truth.

"Ditto," he says.

It isn't what she wanted, but it's close enough, and if she dwells on this any longer, she might start getting too emotional and let the urge to tear up become too strong. Why does she have to be this sensitive? It's no secret that it's remarkably easy to make her cry, but this is insane to her. When all of this began with him, she didn't give a shit about him not wanting a label. She understood him, and she understood that he doesn't do this kind of thing, so why has it changed? Why doesn't she want to keep it a secret anymore? Why does she want this to be a date when she knows he doesn't want it to be?

Pulled by an invisible string back to him to silence her mind, she leans in to kiss him again with a hand cupping the back of his neck to guide him the rest of the way to her.

It shouldn't be laced with any sexual intention. She should be kissing him simply because she wants to, and, in a way, she is. Their kisses and touches are never lacking the motivation that is their underlying connection and mutual feelings for one another, but this is not the same. As he kisses her back with as much confidence and passion as always, she is reeling from the conversation that reminded her too much of a breakup.

It takes another minute of this for the kiss to heat up, their breathing becoming shallower in the moments they part to inhale, and she is undeniably the one instigating when she officially crosses the line between casual and sexual by crawling onto his lap. It's not hard for him to pick up on when their innocent moments take a turn. She's easy to read in that regard, and this has happened a multitude of times with them, so the shift of a mini make out session turning into something more is nothing out of the ordinary for them.

If he knew how shaken she is on the inside, he'd never want this. And the same would go for her if she knew what he was thinking before this. Neither of them wants to admit what they're feeling.

With her legs seated on either side of his hips, she kisses him like it's the last time she'll ever get the opportunity to. Her hands wander wherever they can, pulling at his shirt and feeling him up as his hands guide her hips to move against his in a steady grinding that she has no issue partaking in. It's an eagerness he hasn't seen from her in weeks. She's never un-excited when it comes to being physical with him either, but this is another level. The last time a girl was all over him like this, it was desperate touron at a party a few months ago.

In the span of time it takes her to glance over her shoulder to see if anyone could see them and reach to pull her skirt up until it bunches around her hips—no one can see them, by the way, since they got here late and were forced to cram the van into the back corner of the lot with no street lights illuminating the path—his brows raise at her presumptuous behavior. Not that he's one to complain, however, seeing as he's typically the one doing what she is.

Their next kiss clashes their teeth hard enough to make them wince, but he loves it. It makes him smirk into her parted mouth, alive with both the feeling her reassurance provided and the fuzzy-headed high that often finds him when they're together in this way. Incomparable to past flings or the high related to any drugs, she is the peak of everything to him. It's no contest.

His chest stutters against hers with a bout of amused laughter, asking within a brief pause in what feels like the most JJ thing he's said this awkward night, "Two for two in the Twinkie. What's gotten into you?"

Y/N's hand dips between where their bodies move together to unclasp the closed buckle of his belt in one smooth motion that has it falling apart with a clinking noise.

Her features are set with a look that tells him she means business. Whatever it is that sparked this, he wonders how the fuck to make it happen again another time. She's begged for it before, but never taken control so dominantly, and he can't deny what the role reversal does to him. The evidence is obvious in the distinct hardness she feels pressing up against the hand undoing his jeans.

"I was hoping it'd be you," she says, voice breathless and airy from the constant contact in a way that makes it ten times hotter for him.

If there were any chance of him not being in the mood prior to this, which wasn't the case anyway, it's gone now. He never wants to hear her say she doesn't deliberately try to tease him ever again.

He doesn't need to be told twice.

JJ surges forward to capture her mouth with his, this time with no intention of pulling away to breathe or speak again. No, he'll let himself get lightheaded and dizzy if it means he can stay with her for as long as possible.

With the circumstances of it all, them being visible to someone if they happened to pass by the open door of the van, they move at a pace quicker than usual. She's immediately helping him shimmy his jeans and underwear far enough down his hips to free his dick from the confines of his clothes, making him sigh out a breath of relief when her hand brushes against him in the process.

There's no opportunity to slow down, it has exploded into a full-throttle speed race that neither of them can halt.

His hand blindly flies out beside him to grope the floor of the van for the set of keys he tossed carelessly to the side once the movie started, eyes shut in the midst of the hot, messy kiss they share. His fingers find the fabric of one of the blankets they brought in case they got cold, then drifts again and lands on her Big Bird sneakers until he feels the sharp metal of her keys meet his calloused palm.

After the events of last summer, she bought a switch blade to keep on her key ring alongside the keys to the van, HMS Pogue, and Chateau. She may not like violence or weapons, seeing as she was a skeptic of JJ keeping the gun alongside her friends, but she saw it necessary. Between Rafe, Topper, and Kelce, how could she leave the safety of her and her friends up to chance knowing what some of the kooks did to them not long ago? What happened to Pope on the golf course alone was enough to make her skin crawl.

Right now, though, the knife flips out from the pressure of his thumb pushing the button to release it. He holds it out away from her at first to assure it doesn't nick her in the process, then uses his other hand to tug the side of her panties that hugs her hip far out enough to press the sharp side of the blade onto the inside of it.

She can hardly believe what she's watching as JJ cuts the delicate maroon underthings from her body as if he were doing something so normal, like it's something he's done before. Her forehead is pressed against his, her mouth parted both in shock and in a need to pant for oxygen, and she watches the knife ruin her favorite panties. The stitches come apart with a satisfying ripping noise that can hardly be heard over the sound of people reacting to the movie in the background.

Other customers of the Cherry Bowl Drive-In are too glued to the screen as a beloved character is chased down, reacting in shouts when she's seized by the killer and shoved onto the table of an industrial bread slicer, so they remain wholly unnoticed.

The lace, now ripped in half, dangles on the tip of the knife when he lifts it away from her, tosses it aside, and presses the button once more to retract the blade. It clatters to the floor, but is in no way forgotten with them resuming in a desperation to keep going until they both satisfy the need clawing at them from the inside. But her sense of need is different from his, and even with the fresh memory of him with the switch blade in mind, she's still somewhere else the whole time.

Her mind is faraway, muted through layers of sadness, anger, and disappointment as he reaches between them to line himself up to her entrance. The sensation of him running his cock, hard and messy with a few drops of precome, through her dripping pussy to coat it in her slick arousal is enough to make her moan pathetically. Yet when he's about to guide himself inside of her, she stops him.

"Wait, wait, wait," she breathes out rapidly, heart pounding so hard she can feel herself pulsating between her thighs, "Condom."

They were so antsy to get to it, they almost forgot.

"Fuck," he curses under his breath, and his eyes flicker from where they were trained between their bodies to glance back and forth around the van before it hits him. "I lost my wallet..."

But right when he thinks their public rendezvous in the back of the Drive-In is over due to his unfortunate mistake, she shakes her head and slips away from her perch astride his lap to crawl over to her bag.

She fumbles with the old tote bag and plunges her arm in to sift through the hodge podge of things that are purely Y/N in nature—stickers, glitter pens, a half-eaten bag of candy, etc—for the square foil package she decided to toss in before she left just in case. She usually doesn't keep them on her because he never fails to have one, but, thankfully, she had the random instinct to bring it tonight.

The only thing to bring her out of her cloudy, malevolent storm of feelings when she settles back onto his lap with the condom wrapper ripped open for him is him saying, "So you planned this, huh?" with his mouth tipped in a familiar self-satisfied grin.

She didn't plan it. In fact, she threw herself at him the second she sensed him withdrawing from her and can't stop herself despite the fact that she constantly feels two seconds away from letting a tear slip down her cheek. If that counts as "planning it", then sure.

"Maybe so," she answers, cool, calm, and collected—the antithesis of the truth.

They usually don't lie to each other.

They're thrown right back into it without any other hiccups once he rolls the condom on, and he takes in a shaky breath at her hand wrapping around him to align their bodies up. Before she can do anything, though, he takes chance to swipe the blanket he found a moment ago and wrap it around her back to keep her covered in case they get caught.

Y/N sinks down onto his cock with her lip caught between her teeth to stifle the sound that threatens to escape. JJ, on the other hand, doesn't bother concealing the sound of the groan he makes at the sensation of having her wrapped around him like this. The tension in her entire body from the anticipation and the looming threat of being seen by someone has her squeezing him so tightly, he can't help but be a little louder than he should.

Her soft palm slaps over his mouth with enough pressure to force his groan to quiet itself, and she watches his pretty blue eyes widen in reaction to the dominant action. Who is this girl and what has she done with his sweet, submissive Y/N? Don't get him wrong, he is very turned on by it, but it's unlike her to take the lead this way. He can't figure it out.

"What's wrong, angel?" she asks in a whisper into his ear, her hand over his mouth and her hips starting to slowly rock against him, "Watch the movie."

Once the words leave her mouth, she drops her hand, just in case he wants to stop and can't say anything because she had his mouth covered, and JJ is pretty sure he's died and gone to heaven.

He doesn't watch the movie, not at all, because he's too busy watching her. For someone losing their mind internally, she does not let it show, nor does she let it distract her from what's happening. If anything, the distraction in this situation is the sex, not what's going on inside of her head.

There's a moment of adjustment and going as slowly and gently as possible while waiting for the dull pressure of feeling him inside of her to fade away, but, for the most part, she doesn't waste any time. As soon as she feels comfortable enough with the ache between her thighs giving way to a spark of pleasure when she grinds her clit down on his pubic bone, she starts to ride him at a better pace than the initial slow movements of her hips.

She raises herself up and takes him again inch by inch, enjoying the sense of fullness she gets from having to fit him in spite of the slight discomfort at first, and she could swear that he'll leave bruises in the shape of his handprints with how tightly he clutches her hips. It's all he can do to prevent himself from moaning or saying something, ever the vocal lover she's come to know.

Unless his mouth is preoccupied like it was on the beach yesterday afternoon, JJ is usually impossible to shut up, especially in this context. With him always whispering dirty things to her, whether it be praises, pet names, or plans on what he wants to do to her, she has come to find it breathtakingly hot. He could likely get away with saying something if he wanted to, but he isn't sure he wants to risk it. If he opens his mouth to spew something filthy to her, he won't trust himself not to make a louder, different kind of noise that won't fit in the with background audio the other moviegoers are listening to.

The wet sound of their bodies colliding that fills the space of the van is drowned out by the loud and violent sequence occurring on the screen far ahead of them, and hearing it makes her bounce herself on him a little harder. She's fueled on by it all, and, strangely, what happened before she practically pounced on him is the main contributor.

Similarly to the nature of his intrusive thoughts, the harder she resists the memory of how it felt when he told her he didn't want this to be a date, the more forceful it is in its return. Her eyes trail down to watch where they connect with her forehead pressed to his, then she's thrown back into the feeling of helpless disappointment and insecurity. His head tips back against the window with his bottom lip dropped open and his brows furrowed just enough to create a crease on his forehead, and she's bombarded with the look of relief on his face when he realized he didn't have to be tied down to her with a label.

It makes her want to get rougher, harder, and she doesn't even care if it'll make her sore later on. She presses herself down so far every time she slides down on his cock, her teeth draw blood on her lip with how hard she must bite it to remain quiet. The pain of her hipbones rubbing against his doesn't even matter to either of them at this point. They're both too lost in the pleasure that has begun to take control of them to care about something as minuscule as that, or the burn in her thighs from the repetitive physical strain.

She grabs his wrist and brings his hand between them, flattening hers overtop of it and pressing down on the base of her abdomen in the midst of the increasingly feverish thrusts.

"Feel you here," she murmurs to him through a quiet moan, hoping he can hear it over the movie, and pushes down on his hand for emphasis. And if the way he reacts by cursing under his breath tells her anything, it's that he picked up on it. "JJ..."

He reaches out to grab her by the throat with his free hand and tug her forward to kiss him, as if something inside of him snapped in response to her doing that. The motions of her jolting up and down throws the already messy and uncoordinated kiss off-kilter, but they don't mind. It has them separating every time she lifts up, producing this heady little head rush from from them breathing in each other's air without actually letting their mouths meet in the middle.

Though they're trying their hardest not to alert anyone outside of what's happening, it didn't occur to him until now, when his eyes catch John B's old bandana swinging back and forth where it's secured around the rear view mirror.

They're worried about moaning while the entire fucking Twinkie is rocking with their movements. Well, at least it makes good use of the corny sticker he gifted John B last year as a gag gift. He tried to peel it off after JJ snuck it onto the side window to no avail. So, now Y/N is stuck with a sticker on her car reading, "If the van's a-rockin', come on in, we like orgies," rather than the more common phrase.

It almost makes him start laughing, and he prays no one takes that shit seriously, 'cause he is never intent on sharing this breathtaking girl. Ever.

Y/N isn't anywhere near laughing like he is, in fact, she's finding it difficult to keep herself together. She feels her eyes sting with the promise of tears, and she's never felt so pathetic before. Is she seriously about to cry during sex? Is she really that girl that is so ill-equipped to handle rejection, she can't get through it without tears?

She won't cry. Perhaps if he sees how glossy her eyes have become in a rare moment of good lighting, she can blame it on the hand around her throat putting pressure on the sides of her neck.

The worst part about her being near to crying is the timing of it.

The emotion of what she feels mentally mixes with the swirling, building sensation she feels in the pit of her stomach that tells her she's close to going over the edge, and it's so overwhelming. Was she imagining that their friendship had changed? More importantly, is this all she'll ever be to him? Sex is the only thing she's sure of with him, it's the only thing that doesn't require deeper emotions, and when the ground beneath their fragile relationship felt shaky...

He can feel her starting to unravel, and he knows that he'll come before she does if he doesn't do anything now, so he decides to take control.

JJ pulls the hand he had resting on her abdomen away as though he were burned by it, wrapping his arm around her waist to steady her body against his and using the hand around her neck for leverage to thrust up into her, effectively reducing her to a teary-eyed, moaning mess atop him. They both stopped caring about making noise the second he began to fuck her like this.

She cries out in ecstasy at the sudden change in pace and depth that has him hitting all the right places. Every time he thrusts up into her, just as rough as she wished for, the tip of his cock nudges into that perfect spot inside of her that makes her incapable of silencing her moans. This time, it's JJ that puts his hand over her mouth, letting the one he had around her neck move away to keep her from alerting everyone around them of what's happening.

There's nothing she can do to stop her climax as it barrels through her in its initial sweeping wave of bliss to contrast the venomous doubts in her mind. She's never felt such conflicting, yet powerful feelings before—the intensity of the physical pleasure that makes her whine into the palm of his hand, then the part of her mind replaying every word he said in their conversation before this.

Her body is rigid and tense through it all, squeezing down around his cock with the involuntary spasms of her orgasm, and he can't help himself anymore. All it takes are a few more frantic thrusts for him to bury himself inside of her one last time and spill into the condom, uncovering her mouth so he can drown out his own groans into a kiss.

Their skin sticks to their clothes on the inside with sweat from the exertion of their actions, and he can feel her stomach tremble where it presses up against his with each undulation of her hips that meet his as he rides it out.

But even with the added distraction of the sex, she can't rid herself of the feeling that started plaguing her as soon as things went awry. That was why he was acting weird all night. He must have been so worried about her thinking this was anything more than their typical hangouts that he couldn't bring himself to act normally.

She forces herself to look happy when they pull away from the kiss, panting, and JJ, unaware of what she's been thinking, doesn't notice the small deception.

Tag list: @gabiatthedisco

#jj maybank #jj maybank smut #jj maybank x reader #outer banks #obx #fanfiction #obx s2 #uh oh trouble in paradise #anyway that smut #kinda wanna get railed by JJ in the back of the van #don’t we all?

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seodami · 3 years

Text

Dearest treasure | KTH

Summary: Every kid in town was afraid of Kang Taehyun, the old -slightly creepy- man living alone for years and years in the same run down house. Every night he would go into his backyard with a shovel and dig a hole into the earth. No one knows why and there are kids rumouring about him burying people. Jungwon was a bright kid, wanting to find out the truth behind this widely spread rumour for a school project. And what he found out would change his life forever.

Genre: fluff, angst, flashbacks, story of life, snippets of life, tiny bit humour

Warning: old Taehyun, mention of death, mention of suicide/suicidal thoughts, death

Word count: 10152 (all 3 parts)

Pairing: Kang Taehyun x reader, (Yang Jungwon)

Note: Wow okay so this story took me a while to write and I listened to hours of das music to finish this🥺 this was honestly an emotional rollercoaster. But I’m so glad it’s finally finished so I can post it on here yayyy!!! I hope you like it an enjoooyy (please tell me if you cried I would really appreciate your responses haha bc I did)

Main masterlist

2089 (present)

Deathly silence hung in the air as thick as smog. In Jungwons eyes pooled tears, ready to spill over the edges to fall into free fall and drop heavily onto his trousers. His heart was burning, not finding any suitable words of comfort or understanding for the old man in front of him. His throat felt like it was tied up so tightly, he couldn’t breathe. Oh, how didn’t he know? Oh, how could anyone talk bad behind his back? So much hurt…

Mr. Kangs head hung low, not daring to make any other noice than his sniffling nose. Hot tear drops were silently dropping down, it felt suffocating just watching him so full of hurt and sorrow. Suddenly Jungwon felt sorry to let him relive his whole life together with the terrible pain even the young boy could feel.

“I- I…I never could…forgive myself. It was my fault-“ the once handsome mans face was dark and the wrinkles now seemingly even deeper full of regrets and unspoken words. “You wouldn’t understand, boy-“

Jungwon couldn’t form any appropriate words at that moment and let the sadness let him take away just for a little longer. His story was heavy… he felt like he just heard something he shouldn’t have heard. Something so private and fragile. It had touched him more than he had thought.

“I didn’t want to live anymore… it was all worthless since then… I had no motivation to keep going.” His voice became a tad more stable, yet still quiet and weak. His tired eyes met the innocent boys and for a second the old man could see his younger self inside his big brown eyes. Sadness and nostalgia rolled over him and he averted his gaze.

“I tried ending my life many times since that day- it never worked no matter how much I wanted it… and then I just…I just mouldered…alone, broken- and just a shell of my old self. I wasn’t the once happy, bright, clever boy anymore. I could never be that again…”

Jungwons heart felt heavy, breathing wasn’t bearable. His hands unconsciously reached forward to the tiny lost figure sitting in his sunken mould. It was a simple touch but for Mr. Kang it was the first reassuring and comforting gesture he had received in a long long time. It made him tear up stronger, still staying silent. The young boy wanted to be there for the old man. He wanted to show him that he wasn’t alone in this.

Moments of depressing, yet healing silence passed, just the ticking of the old clock in the dark living room was heard. “I’m so sorry Mr. Kang…” Jungwon finally whispered, unsure if the man spoken to even heard it. He couldn’t do much but be there in this moment. Quite honestly he felt like crying himself. But he wanted to stay strong for him.

“One day-“ Mr. Kangs voice shook a little but he kept talking. “-I remembered the time capsule. My dearest treasure. So long ago. And I made it my life mission to find it. One last moment to hold onto and…look back to.” A thick single tear slowly rolled down Jungwons cheek. So that was it. That’s why… and everyone had dragged the vulnerable man down, putting even more dirt into his deep wounds.

“I-I searched everywhere. But…but i just…forgot. It’s my last wish before I finish this…” life he wanted to say. Finish his life. It made the school boy unbelievable sad. Oh how much he must’ve suffered his whole life. And before Jungwon could’ve decided differently, a strong feeling of wanting to help and support creeped up to him.

“I’m gonna help you Mr. Kang. We will find your treasure.” Jungwon reassuringly took the heavy, wrinkled hand in his and gave it a gentle squeeze. It was the first time since that day, that he felt hope again. Just a tiny tiny splinter but it was there. Hope.

The next hours, both of the males digged holes through the whole garden, not saving any sweat, too focused on finding the mans greatest desire. Mr. Kang had already reached his limit after three holes, following with the 14 year old boy leading him towards an old wooden garden bench to rest on. Jungwon on the other hand was full of verve and energy to fulfill his dearest wish. To find his dearest treasure. Mr. Kang watched him with surprise and thankfulness, never had anyone gone all the way out to help him with something so important to him. There was never someone who he could’ve went to. After that day, he had broken off all the contact with his old friends. He wanted to feel alone at some point. He deserved the pain. That’s what he had always told himself. But now he was old and weak and just wanted nothing more than to be finally reunited with his beloved family. He missed you everyday. He heard his daughters laughters everyday. And he saw his son running around outside in the garden everyday. He finally wanted to be with his family everyday.

It had already gotten dark and cold at this point, Mr. Kang had brought the hard working boy a jacket and a warm tea. The sun was already long gone, just the small lights from the veranda and from the street shined over towards them. Jungwon was still digging, his once tidy school clothes now full of dirt and dust and drenched in sweat. He couldn’t give up. He knew that. So he kept digging and digging. The moon was fondly watching at the pair below, shining just a tad brighter tonight for them. Short friendly small talk about school went quickly over to heartfelt conversations about life and this and that. Nobody, not even the moon, would’ve thought that the bitter, lonely 87 year old Taehyun and the bright, cheerful 14 year old Jungwon would’ve ever even crossed paths, yet life showed again how unpredictable and full of surprises it could be. This night, a tight bond between the two men was woven. So unexpected but yet so lovely.

The clock already told them it was 6 minutes before midnight when another noice cut through the silent night air. A metallic sound. Gasping, Jungwon threw the shovel away, excitement now rushing through his veins. He fell onto his knees, not caring about the moist soil on his trousers. His hands digged through the last part, brown earth now sticking behind his nails, and moments later, he pulled out a medium sized metal box, securely wrapped in plastic. Jungwon felt like he just won the Olympics, he felt like he did it. He did it…

A quick gaze onto the bench showed him the sleeping old man, now seeming even tinier than before. With shaky steps and a weird feeling of proudness and fulfilment, Jungwon waddled over to the sleeping form, gently waking him up. The box in his hands was tightly in his grasp, not letting go. Mr. Kangs heavy lidded eyes flew open in an instant when he saw the metal box in the boys arms. Tears burned in his thankful eyes, reaching towards it with shaking arms. Everything felt heavy, yet his heart felt the lightest it had felt in a long long time.

“Thank you…so much.” Tears were now unstoppable rolling down his cheeks. It squeezed Jungwons heart, knowing he could make this man happy again, fulfilling his last wish. The both of them moved up to the house again, warmth engulfing them with its now familiar scent. Comfort. The old man reassured the boy to stay but seeing the box being opened, Jungwon felt as if he got to see something way too private. But he stayed, looking over the sniffling mans shoulder when he pulled out a small pink toy dolphin. His hands were shaking. “This was my daughters. It was her favorite toy when she was…two years old.”

Taehyuns heart clenched, seeing all his treasures in front of him. He desperately pressed the small toy against his chest, letting all his emotions in. It was intense, yet it was all he ever wanted. Seeing the familiar drawings of a green giraffe, sitting on a cloud with a family next to it. He could read all their names above the figures. Oh Taehee…

Looking through the photographs, old memories surfaced and made the man tear up even heavier. He didn’t knew how much he really had missed them. It was as if his empty shell was slowly filled again, reliving all of your best and worst moments. He saw a picture on his old friends Hueningkais 18th birthday. All of his friends were there, cake smeared all across your faces, the brightest smiles someone could ever see. The day he had first met you… Another picture had all of your friends sitting around a small bonfire, being cuddled inside blankets. Taehyun saw his younger handsome self smiling unsure into the camera with you sitting beside him. He could only laugh sadly at the memories of your camping trip where he first had kissed you, the guilty feeling just as clear.

“She looks so happy here…” Taehyun noticed with a testy smile, gently touching your face on the picture, seeing you and him laying on a bed, arms tightly slung around your frame, as you held the camera. His large eyes showed nothing but the purest form of love as he looked over to you. Oh he was such a lovesick fool. “You were a pretty couple…” Jungwon whispered, glancing over the handsome young man and the pretty women. He wished to find someone in his life later, he could look at with just as much love as he did. Taehyun nodded, pulling out the next photo. It was the two of you kissing in front of the Eiffel Tower in Paris, big smiles on both of your faces. Taehyun remembered, it was when he courageously decided to fly around half the globe to you to fix your relationship. He didn’t want to give you up, thank god he didn’t. Another photograph showed you holding your first ultrasound picture, tears streaming down your face. You were both so young and already on the way to becoming parents. It was scary, yes it was one of the most scary moments in life but it was all worth it. The next picture showed you in the hospital bed, looking weak, yet happy. Taehyun was kneeing down next to you, his gaze focused on you and the tiny newborn baby in four arms. A tear dropped down onto the photo but he quickly wiped it away. “Our little Taehee…”

The next picture showed a kissing couple dressed in a gorgeous white dress and a neat black suit. The priest between them was smiling fondly at the newlywed couple. On another one he could see the couple dancing in midst of their guests, white petals laying all over the place. Taehyun sobbed, holding a hand over his mouth. Jungwons hand reassuringly squeezed his shoulder. He was there for him. Taehyuns and your parents were dancing next to you, he could see his friend Yeonjun and Beomgyu dancing with each other playfully and many more of their closest circle. It had been so long. And he missed it. It was such a happy memory.

There were other photographs with you being pregnant, both of your baby pictures, your friends and your parents and a ton of little Taehee running around bubbly in her adorable dresses and overalls. Taehyun hadn’t seen these pictures in a while and it tore his heart into a million pieces. The last picture was inside your new house, the house he never could bring over him to leave. You were all sitting on the carpet, smiling into the camera. The little baby boy snuggling closer in his blanket and the girl pressing a soft kiss onto his tiny head. Taehyuns arms were slung around your frame, head laying on your shoulder relaxing. They were so happy. So happy.

He pulled out an edition of your favorite book with a hand written text inside: ‘For Taehee and Taejun- may they find wisdom and happiness in their long lives. From mum and dad’ Taehyun remembered. Oh he remembered everything. You two would always read this book together since your honeymoon, where you discovered it in one of the local bookstores. Since then it had always be your favorite book. And it hurt him seeing his children never got to read it. Their future was just robbed because of one moment. It was unfair. Why did he get to live when they couldn’t? He never understood.

The last thing Taehyun pulled out of the box was the pink letter littered with dozen of glitter stickers. ‘To my love’ stood on top of it in your cursive handwriting. He gulped, knowing exactly this was made for him personally. It was the letter he dreaded reading. The moment he waited for. The reason he wanted to find this box in the first place. His love. Jungwon stood stiff and still next to him, not daring to say a word. With shaking fingers, he carefully opened the envelope without tearing it. He could immediately recognise your pretty handwriting and already teared up when he read over the first sentence. ‘To my dear love Taehyun, whom I always love’ with another nod, he dared reading through the heartfelt letter.

‘So this is where life led us, what? To be quite honest with you, my 17 year old me would’ve never thought about marrying the handsome boy from Hueningkais birthday party, let alone have his children and buy our first house together. Life went wild with us, am I right Tae? But I regret nothing. Not even when I stole your favorite hoodie out of your closet without you knowing. Everyone was so done with my reckless personality and I often felt misunderstood in my younger days as you know. But you just always seemed to just see the best in me. Even when I felt like giving it all up. You were always there for me. And you were the only one to fully understand and accept me how I am. This is something I never told you in person but I can’t remember how life was without you before. In my mind, you were always there and I know that you will always be there for our family in our long future. I hope when you read this, we are both still happily married, watching our children and grandchildren laugh about all our ridiculous photos inside this box. And Taehee, oh she must be so happy to see her favorite toy again haha. Taehyun, you are my best friend, my first love, my first heartache, my true soulmate and the best husband in the whole world. You are and will always be my love, no matter how time will turn our lives around. We are always together. I love you always,

Your dearest wife Y/N

(P.S. don’t worry about getting old, you are still my handsome prince I fell in love with!)’

At this point, Taehyun was a sobbing mess, not caring what the young boy might think of him. This letter had touched his soul, his deepest heart. He felt every word you’ve written just as if it was you whispering each of them into his ear. He never felt the urge that strong before to be by your side, hug you, kiss you all over your face, tell you how beautiful you were and whisper how much he loved you and would forever. His life made sense only with his family by his side. There was nothing left to live anymore for Taehyun. And he knew that for a long time already.

Jungwon in this moment didn’t knew what to do anymore. He felt like he had fulfilled his mission, making the old man happy for a last time. With quiet steps, he took his video camera, he totally had forgotten and put it in his backpack laying on the floor abandoned. It was his sign to leave, let the man dwell in his emotions and memories. He was done here. With careful steps he went closer to the sobbing man again, softly putting his hand on his shoulder. He looked up as if he knew what the boy was about to say.

A small smile was on his wrinkled lips, clenching on the boys heart. He weakly pushed himself up just to pull the sweaty, in dirt covered student into a warm embrace. It was the first hug since ages it felt like. The hug remembered Jungwon of his own grandmother and tears stuck in his throat. He missed her. “Thank you so much, Jungwon. You are a wonderful kid. You’ve fulfilled my dearest wish. I will forever be thankful to you. May you be blessed forever. You were the only one willing to listen. Thank you.” Jungwon nodded in his shoulder, trying not to burst into tears on the spot but failed nevertheless in the end. He was so glad seeing the happy man in front of him, now seeming even younger than before. The deep sunken eyes didn’t seem frightening anymore. They were warm and welcoming. He could see sparkles of youth inside them. Yes, Jungwon did the right thing.

When the clock showed sharply half an hour past midnight, Jungwon bid his farewell to the man, he weirdly would consider his friend now, knowing he could sleep well tonight. Taehyun insisted on him keeping the jacket he gave him as well as one of the pictures inside the box for his school project and as a token of gratitude. On his quiet walk back home, he smiled endearingly down to the old photograph he carefully held in his hand. It was the last picture. Where the family of four smiled happily into the camera, sitting onto the fluffy rug Jungwon recognised now. He would treasure this picture forever. It was a generous gift, knowing how important it had been to Mr. Kang. He was so thankful.

The next day, Jungwon excitedly presented his project in class. Even though his mother yelled at him concerned where he was until this late, he managed to edit the video for his project, tearing up in the process but still felt motivated to keep going. It was important that he made this his best project. Not for him or his grade, no, it was for Mr. Kang. He was determined to change everyone’s horrible opinion about the old man.

It was eye opening for everyone. Even Park Jongsong, the scary older student, couldn’t come up with a counter attack and stared wide eyed at the screen in front of the class. It was freeing, knowing that just a bit of courage and kindness could lead you to such wonderful moments. He changed everyone’s opinion about ‘Killer Kang’. And he managed to make an old sad man happy again.

After school, the kind student hurried over to Mr. Kangs house. In bright daylight, the garden looked like a battlefield with tons and tons of freshly digged soil laying all around. Now with a much happier feeling, Jungwon crossed the chaotic lawn, knocking energetically onto the old wodden door. After a while he still hadn’t heard any steps so he tried knocking again. “Mr. Kang? It’s Jungwon. I wanted to show you the finished project. It went amazing.” The boy excitedly bounced on the balls of his feet, too giddy to stand still. There was still no answer, so Jungwon made his way towards the backyard, now being familiar with every inch. He had a weird feeling in the pit of his stomache.

And when he saw the open veranda, the old man sitting in his mould on the old couch, Jungwon let out a relieved breath. With careful steps not to step inside one of the many holes in the ground, he made its way over to Mr. Kang, not without knocking on the wall outside. Still no answer. Maybe he hasn’t heard it or he was sleeping. Jungwon waddled over to the familiar couch, seeing Mr. Kang sitting in his usual spot with his eyes closed. He looked so peaceful, Jungwon first thought the old man was sleeping tightly. Yet when there was still no answers or reactions from his side and when he noticed there was no movement of his upper body, he understood…

Mr. Kang passed away last night. Tears welled up in Jungwons eyes and he heavily let them flow when he saw all the contents of the metallic box scattered around the small desk in front of him. The photos, sorted into time accuracy, the book untouched, the adorable drawings of his young daughter, the green giraffe smiling cheekily at him. The pink letter was open and the neat handwriting was still the same as yesterday. And in Mr. Kangs hands, layed the pink toy dolphin.

Jungwon went onto his knees beside him on the fluffy carpet, letting his hot tears fall freely without restrictions. He may had lost a friend today but he knew deep down, the old kind man was happily reunited with his family. He had gained everything he lost. And for that…how could Jungwon still be sad?

For now and forever, the courageous 14 year old boy, who acted righteous and kind, carried Kang Taehyuns life story out into the wide world, spread his last words so no one would forget the once mysterious man everyone feared to look at. Kang Taehyun, a man who got everything he wished for and then got it taken away from him. A man, who loved dearly. A man, whose story would never be forgotten.

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wdwmarveldisney · 3 years

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Shoot her

Peter Parker x fem!reader

Summary: Y/N is trapped in her mind and Peter is the one to pull her out.

Masterlist

A/N: So this is loosely based on the song Panic Room. It was supposed to be a lot more like the song but then this happened and I like it too much to change it. Not proofread.

Tw: Lots of violence, guns mentioned, killing. Literally the whole thing is very dark so.

(Gif isn’t mine)

It was dark, so very dark and cold. It was so cold. Rocking back and forth was no help to fight off the frost that bit your skin, everything about this place smothering any hope you had left. Sobs left your lips as you sat there curled up into a ball. The need to scream was so strong that when the sound tore through your lips, it wasn't a shock. Goosebumps were so prominent on your skin and your heart was racing so fast and your breaths were so uneven and maybe you were dying. You were ready for anything though how you sat would probably indicate just how terrified you were. But being terrified didn't mean you weren't ready.

If anything, it meant you were as prepared the most you could be. It wasn’t the first time being here, you knew what happened. It was almost impossible to escape the monsters that lurked in the shadows here and you tried your hardest to think back to them. The pain and suffering and ache for someone, literally anyone, to save you. But no one ever came and you had to be your own hero. This time, you didn’t think you were strong enough.

Looking up and around the room you were trapped in, your face was so pale and your eyes so wild. You looked dead, dark bags under your eyes only adding to the effect. Everything looked fuzzy except the screen. Gaze locked on the video, you heart broke again and again and again, shattering beyond repair. Not only were trapped here, suffocating in the darkness, but you had to relive that. The same monster that haunted your dreams for most of your life and now you were trapped within memory once more.

Screaming once more, you wanted someone to hear. Your echoing screams were driving you crazy. The hold on your knees became tighter, nails digging into the skin as you shook and sobbed. Silence was deafening, you had spent your life drowning it out and yet here you were, trapped in this dark, damp room with it. You could feel your skin crawl as you caved in yourself further.

You couldn’t speak, not that anyone would hear you anyway. No one could reach you in these dark depths, you knew that. So why did you expect someone to run through that door any moment now? Where you were was inaccessible, a place that didn’t even exist and you were the only one who could reach it. So being trapped there really sucked.

Lights flickered on and off, sparking from being overpowered and shutting down all together. Small whimpers left your chapped lips as you finally leaned your head back against the wall behind you. Monsters surrounded you, pain, grief, anger, guilt. What you would give to just be out of here. You had always tried your best to stay out of these situations after they had saved you, after everything you had done, but life had other plans. And right here, in this room, every emotion was so overpowering, so smothering and you couldn’t repress them anymore. You’d lost control. Your facade had finally crumbled and you were locked away once again with your troubles. If only you were strong enough to control your powers, you wouldn’t have returned. You just weren’t strong enough.

You watched as more screens turned on, one by one. They showed your worst memories, all the pain and horrors of your life. It was too much, your hands moving to your hair, pulling at the roots. Any pain was better than watching those. Voice hoarse and scratchy, you scream once more, just desperate to be heard. Tears were streaming down your cheeks as you felt silenced, the screams no longer echoing. Something else did, footsteps. But you were so deep in the pain and suffering you didn’t pick up on them, tearful eyes reflecting the horrors that were your memories. They were a tornado of fear and torture and terror and you were sucked into it. They had reached out and dragged you down with them, blocking out all the light, all the hope, that you had been blessed with.

“Y/N?” A small gasp left your lips as your dazed eyes look to the brunet at the door. You shook your head, this was a step too far. The small smile of relief on his face, the tears eyes, the slight shake in his hands. “No, you’re not real. You can’t be real. Stop, stop it,” you mumbled to yourself, watching his face fall as he took a hesitant step forward. Your hands slid into your hair once more as your head moved down to rest on your knees, “Stop it, he’s not real, he’s not,” you could hear the small sniffle that came from him, the light footsteps he took, “Stop!” You screeched into your jean clad legs, heart beating fast. You glanced to where he was, expecting him to be gone but he still stood, hands out as he took slow careful steps forward. “I’m here, I’ve got you. It’s Peter, just come here,” he stood a small way away from you, panicked that you didn’t want him there. Your eyes fluttered between screens and he followed, gaze taking in it all.

He watched all the killing you had done, all the pain you caused before he looked back at you. You’d told him, once or twice, that your backstory wasn’t exactly rainbows and sunshine. He knew how you were raised, what you had been forced to be. He knew how you hated yourself for it, how you were trying to make up for it all but seeing it, it was very different from hearing about it. Glancing back to you, he found you had fixated on one screen. All sound from anything faded out as you stood and approached it. You looked to Peter over your shoulder to see his confusion, “What are doing?” Ignoring his question, your hand reaches out to touch the screen and suddenly you were there, both of you.

The courtyard had this calm silence to it, empty apart from the four people in the centre of it all. Two men and two young girls. The older had to be at least sixteen, tied up and gagged in front of the younger, no more eleven. That little girl was staring at the other emotionless while the other looked so broken and hurt. “Y/N, what’s happening?” Not even bothering to respond to Peter, you walked over to the younger girl and scary man with a truly broken expression. Peter followed right after, stopping right behind you and realised that one of the guys was talking. “Shoot her,” he was talking to the youngest, gun placed in her hand, and Peter immediately looked to you with fear swirling in his eyes. When he looked back at the scene, the girl had raised the gun, hands trembling, an the other had managed I lower the gag that now hung around her neck. “Y/N, you don’t have to do this. Put it down, just put it down and we can go home, yeah? We can go see mum and dad, have that picnic you wanted for your birthday? Come on, you didn’t have to shoot me. Please don’t shoot me, I love you bubs. Please don’t,” Peter’s heart broke as you stared at the girl, who’s voice was shaking uncontrollably. Your hand had raised to smother your sobs, your voice breaking as you spoke, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,”

“Y/N, please just put it down,” the young you held the gun in place, now crying, and as you went to lower it, a hand held yours in place. The man had lent down to your height and stared at your sister as he spoke, “Shoot her or he shoots you,” the guy nodded to the one behind your sister and he raised a gun, aimed at your head. Eleven year old you shook your head, mumbling “No,” on repeat (just like older you) as your sister assessed the situation. With tears still in her eyes, she looked to the gun aimed at her and whispered, “You have to shoot me. I’m so sorry but you have to shoot me,” she ignored it when you shook your head and simply nodded in encouragement, “I’m not letting you die, shoot me,”

“No,” both versions of you cried and Peter wiped at the tears at his cheeks, wanting to hold you tightly in some form of comfort. Your sister had nodded with a sad smile sent your way and your shaking hands had pulled the trigger. A loud bang echoed throughout the courtyard, both versions of you and Peter all flinching. A small thud was heard as your sister’s body fell lump on the ground, blood falling from the bullet hole in her head. Instinctively, Peter reached over and gripped your hand, pulling you into him and as you held onto him, he pressed the button the bracelet that Mr Stark had told him to. And you were no longer there.

Sitting up with a gasp, eyes full to the brim with unshed tears as you took in all the superheroes that surrounded you. Curling into yourself again at their worried stares, you flinched at the arms that wrapped around you. You looked to Peter and attempted to push him back, you couldn’t believe you had just let him see that. The boy didn’t let you, grabbing your wrists as gently as he could and meeting your eyes, “You’re okay, it’s okay,” you began to sob again, falling into his body and crying into his chest as he held you. Peter wasn’t looking forward to explaining what he had seen in the deep depths of your mind that he had just pulled you out of. This whole situation was crazy, you losing control of your emotion based powers and being trapped in your mind. Him volunteering to go after you when Tony had found a way and him trying to navigate his way to you. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to, I’m sorry,” you mumbled into his chest and Peter shook his head, not wanting to let you go anytime soon.

#peter parker fem!reader #peter parker angst #marvel x reader #angst #really this is quite sad so like #read at your own risk

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luvinseokjinnie · 4 years

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Jeon Jungkook Fic Recs

☾ -ANGST || ❅- SMUT || ✼ -CRACK/HUMOR || ❀ -FLUFF || ♛ - ACTION/SUSPENSE || ♪ - SUPERNATURAL/SCI-FI

-Fic Recs Main List-

-Navigation-

One shots

If I told you ☾❀|| jjk x reader || college au || @gukyi || [personal fav]

Sypnosis: in order to pay for university, jeon jungkook decides to market his most valuable asset to the wealthy socialites of campus: himself. donning a suit and tie, tousled hair, and glasses (to look smarter), he becomes every rich daughter’s dream: the perfect boyfriend to bring to balls, dinners, and business gatherings. all while you watch from the sidelines, only able to dream of having that much money to buy yourself what you really want: him.

Melomaniac ☾❀|| jjk x reader || punk/rockstar au || @jeonscript ||

Sypnosis: you’re wholeheartedly, madly in love with jungkook and yet you shouldn’t be because he’s supposed to be your best friend and nothing more. worst part of it all is that you know he’s in love with you too.

What are best friends for? ❀☾|| Jjk x reader|| college au|| @lovelyyyoongi || [personal fav]

Sypnosis: What begins as harmless matchmaking, ends up in a jumbled mess of emotions for both you and your best friend, Jungkook.

Chocolate milk ❀☾|| jjk x reader ||childhood friend au || @vantaenims ||

Sypnosis: You never planned to catch some feelings for Jungkook but you didn’t know that he’s the mastermind of all these fickle thoughts. It’s all thanks to Psychology and Human Behavior.

Unaware ☾ || jjk x reader || @kookscrescent ||

Sypnosis: “He knows the day will never come. She has already got her heart set on somebody else. But deep in his heart, despite all the broken pieces, he knows that she will never find someone that will love her more than he does.”

Crosshairs ☾♛❅|| jjk x reader ||secret agent au|| @junghelioseok ||

Sypnosis: he’s never letting you out of his line of sight again.

Inkling ☾❅|| tatoo artist!jjk x reader || @gguksgalaxy || (vv smutty sgvd im sorry)

Sypnosis: Jungkook is your brother’s boyfriend’s co-worker, they own a tattoo and piercing parlour. In other words, he’s tall, gorgeous, has his passion literally etched into his skin, looks incredibly good in a man-bun, and is semi-unattainable for you. Why? Well…you’re not entirely sure but him ditching right after a very heated make-out session sure isn’t a good sign. His extremely poor mood the next week sure isn’t either, but the only way to fix it is to face the beast head-on. Right?

Icing ❀❅ || jjk x reader || @yolokoo ||

Sypnosis: Baking with your boyfriend sounds like a good idea until he makes a mess and then gets a boner. You know where it goes from there.

Year after year (after tear after tear) ☾ || jjk x reader || college au || @ubemango ||

Sypnosis: Taehyung just wants you to have a good birthday.

Something new ❀❅ || jjk x reader || college au || @minlucent ||

sypnosis: jungkook has a thing for virgins. you just happen to be the one he has his eye on.

of memes and mood swings ❀☾✼ || jjk x reader || parents au || @koosgrl ||

sypnosis: ❝ babies are born weighing 30kg, right? ❞ + turns out that 2017 wasn’t just a meme on twitter, especially a particular number of months made the year more eventful than you’d thought it’d be after your boyfriend promises you that he would pull out. or to make a long fucking story short: the wild ride that is your pregnancy.

chewie & choco boy ❀☾ || jjk x reader || best friends au || @rookiegukie ||

sypnosis: all your life, jeongguk has always been and only been your best friend. no matter the countless misunderstandings and the never ending teasing when it came to the true nature of your relationship, you two remained firm about it—saying that you were really just really good friends and nothing more. though lately, that doesn’t seem to be right anymore, especially as the both of you begin getting confused yourselves.

Loveship ❀☾ || jjk x reader || sequel to chewie & choco boy || @rookiegukie ||

sypnosis: all your life, jeongguk has always been and only been your best friend. though that is until you started dating him and things just can’t be better than it is. but shifting from being just friends and being a couple isn’t as easy as it seems, especially when a certain ex just keeps on reminding you your insecurities about finally being jeongguk’s girlfriend.

Tiger Flower ☾ || jjk x reader || hanahaki au || @euphoria-vmin7 ||

sypnosis: tiger flower. it’s his birth flower. it’s the flower that you can’t have.

Lost Stars ❀☾✼|| jjk x reader || Heavy angst || @staerrylights ||

Sypnosis: Your life was made up of failed relationships, an unhappy marriage, and a terrible job but things weren’t always that way. When a meteor shower occurs on the night of your twenty fifth birthday, you get a chance to relive the past ten years of agony and love you thought would last forever, would you hold onto those memories or let them fade into the distance?

Series

Learn to love ☾❀|| jjk!teacher x reader!singleparent || @knjoodles ||

Sypnosis: raising your daughter alone while simultaneously watching your ex-husband live the life of his dreams away from the two of you hurts. badly. it hurts a little less, though, when you find an unlikely friend while looking for help.

You belong with me ☾❀|| jjk x reader || high school au || @joonscroll ||

Sypnosis: you’ve loved jungkook since you could count. he's always seen you as a friend. watching him date other girls and having to pretend you’re not in love with him is killing you.

Bullseye ♛☾❅|| jjk x reader || Bottoms up Series by @gguksgalaxy ||

Sypnosis: A summer weekend isn’t complete without Jungkook coming to seek you out at your job at the beach club to bless you wish his smile. A smile that quickly fades to anger one night, when he catches your ex trying to get your attention.

Louder than Bombs ❅|| vampire!jjk x reader || Map of the soul 7 project by @chimkookie ||

Sypnosis: Where humans and mythical beings try to live together in harmony, but different worldly disasters and rivalries cause a stir within both of the races as they fight for dominance, power and money. With Peru being the victim of the war between humans and mythics - specifically vampires - many have gone into hiding. You are one of those people. When your home is invaded by the enemy, they imprison you and force you to serve them. However, one of them seems to take pity on you, or so you thought.

Social media

Fate’s Games ✼❀ || jjkxreader || youtuber/gamer au || @jjk-biased || !MUST READ! [personal fav]

Sypnosis: Faith might’ve had a lot more in store when broke college kid Y/N unknowingly roasts famous youtuber Jeon Jungkook’s Overwatch skills in front of a live audience.

Let’s get it ❀✼ || jjk x reader || youtuber au || @diorjeons ||

Sypnosis: You and Jungkook are vloggers on Youtube, being rivals since you both gained a following. Everyone thinks you hate each other because of the constant shade. The funny thing is, is that you both run a fan account for the other and no one knows.

Only for love ☾❀✼|| single dad!jjk x reader || @lysjeon ||

Sypnosis: for almost four years it had been just him and sarang, and he had no plans on changing the life they had become accustomed to any time soon, but of course y/n has to come and shake his world.

#bts au #bts masterlist #bts #bts jungkook #bts jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook au #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #bts fic recommendations #bts x yn #bts fake texts #bts angst #bts fluff #jungkook fluff #jungkook angst

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eatfishies · 4 years

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champagne problems

summary: “Your mom’s ring in your pocket, my picture in your wallet, your heart was glass, I dropped it. Champagne problems.” note: features time skip! kageyama. all characters in the present timeline is 21+. slight spoilers from the manga. fem! reader. she/her pronouns. song: champagne problems by taylor swift word count: 1,800 words warnings: alchohol use genre: angst arthie’s note: a fic for the capricorn baby ~~ happy birthday kags!! initially i didn’t plan this out however i’ve been listening to taylor’s new album on repeat and one of my favs from her album is the song “champagne problems” hence the title *wink wink* anyways, this is rlly sad and i hope all of you like this as much as i like writing it hehe ~~ ♡(｡- ω -) ↳ main masterlist ⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆ Hugging herself tightly, clutching onto the thick jacket to shield herself from the chilliness, watching as the pearly white snow cascade onto the wooden floor, evaporating into liquid. “Y/n?” He calls out making her head turned, gazing at him fondly. He walked towards her, handing a glass of champagne which she thanked for the gesture. They both indulged in the alcoholic drink as they watch the snowfield scenery before them. It was Christmas Eve and they just had gone and celebrate Kageyama’s 24th birthday. After bidding farewells to their guests, the couple took the time to unwind outside their rented vacation home, sitting atop of the snowy mountain. Kageyama had insisted to stay here for a few weeks until Christmas or possibly till New Year’s. Now that they had the house all to themselves, he couldn’t help but feel more anxious as time goes by, side-eyeing his lover who seemed to be immersed on admiring the beautiful frosty landscape from a distance.

He had memorized the details of his properly thought-out plan, wishing all of his luck that nothing ruins it. God, knows how long he spent dwelling over it and fretting about the worst possible outcomes that could come out of this. However, his friends had reassured him multiple times that it would go as smoothly as he hopes it to be. Feeling the presence beside him made him fully aware of how in awe he is with her, his ethereal partner who is ever-so kind, thoughtful, supportive, patient and understanding of every part of him. She even knows how to manage his short-temper and often gives him space whenever he needed it. Looking back on their relationship definitely confirmed of how utterly in love he is with her. Shaking his head, quickly diminishing any thoughts that would turn into a session of overthinking— he gently intertwines their fingers together, the cold emitting off of her as she blinks at him innocently. “Babe, are you okay?” She asked, concerned underneath her tired, soft voice. He gave her a small smile, gripping her hand to assure her, “I just feel lucky to have you.” That caused her to broke into fits of laughter, he furrowed his brows. “What’s so funny about me confessing what I truly feel?” She can hear the tiny hurt evident in his voice. She cooed, caressing his cheek, “Nothing’s wrong. It’s just.. so weird of you to suddenly make a proclaim that you love me when you’re usually so standoffish.” He averted his gaze, pondering over her words. Quickly sensing that he might go into overthinking mode, she held his face, staring into his crystal azure eyes. “Kageyama Tobio.” She started off, watching him gape at her. “You are the most loving person ever. It doesn’t matter that you don’t often express your emotions but your actions speaks louder than those words. So please, don’t be sadden over what I said. It’s a part of you that made me love you and I don’t mind that at all. In fact; I love every single thing about you.” Hearing those affirmations made his heart sparked with elation, gingerly bringing their faces close as he tasted her lips that escalated into something more as he drowns himself in her love with the tang of champagne filling up his mouth every time he kissed her. He’s so desperately, maddeningly, in love with her. ⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━﹤⋆ The bright sun peeked beneath the curtains, signalling them to wake and start their day. He awoken to a pair of arms wrapped around him, soft breathing from his lover as she sleeps peacefully. He smiled, gleeful of her declaration and what the future has in store for the both of them. Carefully removing himself from her embrace, he walked towards the kitchen, preparing them both breakfast before heading out. They took the train to visit their families, beaming at everyone and its cheerful atmosphere that makes him feel warm. He recalls the moment he told his family about his “plan”, they were all thrilled and couldn’t wait to hear the news. Her family had been delighted as well, noting that they were both good for each other and is a perfect couple. Knowing that he has permission to make his move, he feels himself getting more eager to execute his plan. The reunion with families had left him content and all of the anxiousness is slowly dissipating away as they strolled around the park, stopping at the middle where a massive Christmas tree was placed, decorated with glimmering ornaments and festive lights all around. It makes the ambience more fitting with what he’s about to do. Throughout the entire day, he had observed his partner, imprinting her facial expressions into his mind and the way she communicates. Kageyama has always been observant— he just paid extra attention to his lover than anything else (except volleyball). He knew she is the one when she didn’t fuss or get annoyed with his obsession over volleyball even if his career comes first, she never minded and persuaded him to go follow his dreams. He reciprocated that with her too; often checking on her to make sure that she doesn’t overwork herself and celebrated every milestone and promotions she achieved. He knew how important it is to her for her ambitions to come first; they’re both alike yet different in many ways which makes them work well together. Her eyes gazes at the bright lights, awe of the stunning decorations. He fidgets with the box inside his coat pocket, biting his lip as he tries to shake off the anxiety bubbling in the pit of his stomach. With his heart hammering against his chest, he bent down to one knee and pulls the box out of his pocket. Noticing his actions, she widened at the sight of him. He opens the box, revealing a dazzling gold ring. She covers her mouth, stunned. He exhaled, staring at her with so much honesty and love. “Y/n… we’ve been together for the past couple of years. You’ve stuck with me even through all the highs and lows. You comforted me during hard times and knows how to deal with my sensitive yet childish behaviours. You never once doubted my love for you and supported me through all of my endeavours. You were never upset with how ambitious I am for volleyball and always cheer for me throughout every game I’ve had. You made me the happiest person alive and God knows how much I love you with all my heart. I’m never one to rightfully express what I truly feel therefore here I am, pouring all of my feelings for you. With that being said, will you marry me?” Tears prickled on her eyes as she stared at the man whom she knew she loved… yet she doesn’t feel right by saying yes. With a shaky breath, she solemnly responds. “No.” Shocked upon her answer, he looked up at her in disbelief. Hurt plastered all across his face as he slowly stood up. He inched closer, “What do you mean… no?” He whispered, his voice brittle due to her statement as he can feel the void inside his chest. Breaking off the gaze, she closed her eyes shut. “I’m sorry Tobio but.. no. I can’t. I’m not ready for it.” She admitted, scared of his reaction as she gripped her jacket tightly. “I— you could’ve just told me. I would wait for you and—“ “No. Tobio just.. please don’t make this harder than it already is.” She cuts him off. “I’m sorry but I can never see myself being tied to someone.” He can feel the ache in his heart, “Even me?” He asked painfully. Finally opening her eyes, she nodded sullenly. “Yes.” She gently holds his face, pulling him into a chaste kiss. “Goodbye, Tobio. I’m sorry.” With that, he lets her hand fall just like how she lets his heart shatter against the floor, as she disappears into the sea of strangers. The crowds bustling around him as he feel his heart broke into a thousand pieces. The ringing of his phone startled him from his stupor, he answered it without needing to check. “Mom.. she said no.” He breaks the news forlornly, allowing the tears that he held back stream down his cheeks as his chest ache dreadfully. The night had never seemed so dull for him as he lies his head against the train window, watching the constellations dim from blazing so brightly. He cried and cried until he couldn’t. He didn’t care if anybody stared at him sympathetically, all he knew and felt on this somber night is heartbreak, swallowing him whole as her crestfallen response plays in his head over and over again. He can tell from the moment he stepped inside their once-shared house that she had left and brought all of her belongings with her. Officially leaving him to wallow in his own sorrow. The box which the ring sits prettily at is tossed aside, he considers burning it or throwing it away but decided against it as the ring belongs to his mother whom got engaged with the said band. A picture of her grinning happily as the wind blows her hair is tucked safely in his wallet, he glared at the memory before casting it into the fire, watching it burn and turn into dust. From that night— he closed himself off from everyone nor did he ever catch a sight of her again. It was as if she had vanished into thin air or perhaps she moved to a new country. He stored away all of the memories they had with each other into the back of his mind, never wanting to relive it. Years had flew by and he not once got an answer or a hint as to why she had so readily rejected his proposal. He long accepted their fate and the love they once shared was nothing but a memory of the past. She was just a stranger he used to loved. As he makes his way towards the figure standing in front of him, he smiled and bent down, reenacting the bitter scene yet again. His new lover sobbed happily as she joyfully accepted his proposal. Her picture in his wallet as he slips the ring onto her dainty finger, noting her wide grin. Little did he knew— his past lover is observing the scene from afar, smiling sadly at the exchange. She sighed, knowing that she deserved to be hated for what she did as she walks away, wishing them nothing but the best for their future. Maybe someday, she can tell the tale of someone who was dear to her to her grandchildren and to never make the same mistake as she did.

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charming-mage · 4 years

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Opposite Day: Contrary Fairy Gives DuPont High Their Worst Nightmare (Part 1)

Hello everyone! Here’s my take on my prompt, Opposite Day (Or DuPont’s Worst Nightmare). Does anyone even remember I said I would take on this prompt? It’s been such a long time. Ha ha ha. If you want to be added to the taglist, let me know.

If anyone takes on this prompt too, the Akuma or any details in this fic doesn’t have to be the same. Go with your vision as you see fit. I don’t mind.

A student at Dupont is Akumatized into Contrary Fairy. She has the power to turn people into their “Opposite” self by taking a victim’s major personality traits and switches them with an antonym of it.

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Chapter 1: This is just the beginning

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Mrs. Bustier’s class awaits in eager anticipation for the arrival of Marinette Dupain-Cheng. The only people who haven’t arrived yet is Adrien, Marinette, and Lila. Today is Alya’s birthday and her first friend at Dupont is bringing her a special birthday cake. Even though they’ve had some disagreements about Lila, Marinette is still bringing her a gift. It’s a rough patch, but she knows they’ll get past this bump in the road. Alya privately admits to herself that Marinette gets a bit high strung about Adrien sometimes. In the end, Marinette will get along with Lila like she does with Kagami.

“Where’s Lila? She’s usually here by now. She promised to tell me about her charity work in Nigeria,” said a concerned Mylene. “Did she have an emergency trip again?”

Alya assures Mylene. “Lila is just running late. She promised to be here today.”

Just as she was mentioned, Lila walks with a nervous look on her face. It quickly changes to a happy smile when she spots Ayla. “Happy Birthday Alya!” Lila quickly jumps Ayla and gives her a strong hug.

“Whoa. You’re really energetic today.” Ayla returns the hug.

“I’m so happy to celebrate with my best friend.”

When Alix grumbles out loud about tricky math problems, Lila excuses herself to go help her.

Ten minutes later, Marinette walks in with the cake along side.....is that Adrien? Alya thinks the blonde boy in ripped black jeans, black jacket, and a devil horns headband. The classes’ sunshine has become the sunset.

“Good morning Marinette.” Marinette, strangely, ignores her.

Nino asks, shocked, “Dude, you’re finally rebelling against your father?”

“The old man can’t tell me what to do. By the time I’m done today, he won’t stand to have any black in his designs. Not even the buttons.”

“Adrien, count me in.”

Nino grabbed Adrien and they seated themselves in the back of the classroom for a private conversation.

Ayla turns her attention to Marinette, who’s been very chilly to her. Very unlike her. Usually they’d say their good mornings and jump right into gossiping. She has a very bad feeling about this.

Marinette drops the delicious looking cake into the trashcan next to Mrs. Bustier’s Desk. “Oops,” says a unremorseful Marinette.

Gasps echo in the classroom. Rose asks,” M-Marinette....why would you do that?”

What Marinette says next nearly gives her a heart attack.

“You owe me 500 euros. When you sprung on me to babysit your sisters, they broke my new sewing machine. You’re lucky they didn’t destroy anything else or you would be talking to my celebrity clients’ lawyers.”

“I’m so sorry! I’ll pay you back, I swear. I’ll tell my sisters to be more responsible too.” Ayla is shocked Marinette didn’t say anything yesterday when she came to pick up the twins. It’s become a routine for them. If Alya wants to do anything last minute, she’ll drop off the twins with Marinette. Later, the kids will be picked up and the money dropped off. Marinette is owed a favor as well.

Alya has to tell her parents what happened. She doesn’t have enough money to pay Marinette. The money saved from side jobs is not enough to cover it in full. Her and the twins were all going to be in trouble, but it’ll be worth it to make it right for Marinette. No more last minute babysitting either. Heck, on top of the babysitting money, she’ll do more favors for Marinette in exchange for scheduled babysitting if her bestie is up for it in the future.

“Good. I expect the money in my hands soon.” Marinette takes her usual seat next to Ayla. It’s kinda awkward since Marinette refuses to speak to her.

The birthday celebration mood is gone. The class is filled with quiet whispers as no one dared to raise their voice too loud. Marinette’s look of displeasure when Rose once made the mistake to happily squeal a bit too high pitched scares the rest of the class to behave.

It gets worse once Mrs. Bustier comes to start the class session. The teacher announces her presence with an angry door slam. The rest of the time is stressful as everyone did their best to avoid drawing Mrs. Bustier’s ire. Once class ended, everyone left in a hurry.

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Alya thought the worst was over. She was wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong. This is just the beginning.

The morning classes’ teachers suddenly became strict. Their usual passiveness replaced with a no nonsense attitude. When brave students asked why the sudden strictness, most of the teachers said something along the lines of orders from up top. Rumors circulated there’s going to a school inspection soon.

Strict teachers like Ms. Mendeleiev are their usual selves. The classes where they sit together is painful. Marinette barely talks to her. And when she does, it’s in a passive aggressive manner.

Alya is relived when lunch is finally here. She didn’t think she would have made it until lunch without Lila. Her kind friend did her best to cheer her up. Very helpful with group assignments, ran damage control when Alya messed up a few times in a presentation, and gave her useful tips in physics. This kindness must be what others experienced in Lila’s adventures around the world. No wonder her friend has so many famous friends.

Lila was so kind to carry Alya’s lunch to their table. Her girl even paid for her lunch. Her friend insisted it’s the least she could do to repay Ayla for doing the same.

Alya slumps in her seat. Lila is taken by an excited Mylene to her table. “Hey guys, had a rough day too?”

Groans abound at their table.

Nino sighs. “Did you guys hear? There might be an inspection soon and the teachers want everything in order before they get here.”

Alix rolls her eyes. “Yeah, time to cover up the things that’ll make them look bad.”

Kim pouts. “My history teacher told me to quit my dares. I can do them again on Friday.”

“That’s three days from now,” Juleka says slowly.

They chat a bit. Not much excitement besides Mylene getting upset about something and Lila consoling her.

Aurore and Mireille unexpectedly come to their table. Aurore places a hand on Alya’s shoulder. The weather girl says with concern, “I know you can’t talk about it, but we just wanted to let you know we both support you.”

Alya looks at them confused. “What are you talking about?”

Mireille pipes up. “Your message on the Ladybug.”

Ayla thinks back to her recent posts. Nothing comes to mind that’ll warrant the concern they’re showing. The latest post is just LadyNoir shipping. The post before that talks about the damage her camera received from dropping it. No way the weather girls would approach her over such a trivial matter.

“Oh dear, you don’t know what were talking about?” Mireille looks concerned. “Alya, you need to check the Ladyblog.”

Ayla quickly digs through her bag. She’s unable to find her phone. “I can’t find my phone.”

Aurore hands over her phone. “Here, I already have it open.”

Alya gets the second heart attack today.

Dear Ladyblog fans,

I’m sad to say due to legal issues I’m taking down the blog soon. Certain posts contained false information. I’ve already deleted the mentioned posts. I didn’t do my due diligance in fact checking. I should’ve provided sources. For that, I’m so sorry.

- Ladyblogger out (for the final time)

Alya mind-numbingly taps the Ladyblog’s home page. It refreshes to a ‘sorry the website you’re looking for is deleted’ page.

Nino peaks over her shoulder. “Oh god, Alya......” Their reactions gets everyone else huddled over the phone. Gasps ring out.

“Guys, I didn’t write that message. Or take down the Ladyblog.”

Nathaniel asks, “Then who did?”

Doesn’t take Ayla long to figure it out. “Whoever stole my phone did.” Her phone was already logged into the Ladyblog’s admin page. She puts her heartbreak on hold to solve the mystery. “I need to do some investigating.”

“We’ll help you,” says Aurore. Mireille nods with a look of determination.”

“Me too!”

“Don’t worry! We’ll get justice.”

“I’m with you Alya.”

Alya tears up a bit, touched. “Thanks everyone.”

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They’ve spent half of lunch interviewing students. They have a lead. One girl in Ayla’s last class before lunch said she saw Marinette borrow the mentioned phone. Although the girl didn’t see if Marinette put it back. After some more asking around, Marinette was last seen in the student council room.

“-and that concludes our council of evil meeting.”

Marinette’s face forms a grimace when she catches sight of them. “What are you doing here?”

Alya is taken aback. “Girl, I know it was super expensive, but I think you’re taking it too far.”

The student council members snicker.

“Oh my god, are these the gullible morons?” This comment opens the floodgate.

“I’m best friends with the tooth fairy. I can tell you all about on your tabloi-I mean credible blog.”

“I’m secretly Rena Rouge. Want an Autograph?”

“I can hook you up with Stan Lee. Even though he’s dead.”

“I’m the president of the United States. I’m doing this council stuff for fun.”

“I’m Adrien’s secret girlfriend. So secret even he doesn’t know.”

“HEY! I’m just here to ask Marinette something.” Alya looks right at Marinette’s blank face. “You’re the last person seen with my phone. Did you see anyone suspicious near it when you were done with it?”

The student council erupts into laughter. Once Marinette stops laughing she answers, “Oh my, you didn’t figure it out yet? I deleted your blog.”

“W-What?” The revelation startles Alya. The everyday Ladybug never made it to the suspect list. Not even the top ten.

Alya mind is well rested now. The pieces are coming together. This morning’s strangeness, Marinette’s hostility increasing throughout the day, and the teachers sudden 180.

“An Akuma got you. All of you.” The Marinette she knows would never be so cruel.

Marinette raises an eyebrow. “No, I just stopped keeping in what’s bothering me. Besides, I didn’t see an Akuma today.” Various student council members pipe in the same. No one else saw an Akuma.

“So either an Akuma snipped all of you or none of you remember.”

“Look tabloid reporter, I would have noticed if Hawkmoth’s latest fashion disaster was here.” Marinette waves them away. “Shoo pests, unlike some people, we have a lot of work to get done. The school dance won’t magically appear itself.”

“Don’t worry Mari, I’ll get help. You’ll be back to normal soon.”

“Come on guys, we need to let the teachers know an Akuma is here.”

“Let’s try Ms. Mendeleiev. She seems her usual strict self.”

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“Thanks for following my lead everyone. Glad we don’t have to waste time fending them off if they discovered we already knew about the Akuma.”

“No problem President Marinette.”

“That’s Queen Marinette to you peasants.”

“Yes, your most evilness.”

“Aren’t we going to stop them? They know about the Akuma now?”

“There’s a plan in place. It’s been several hours and no one has ‘seen’ an Akuma running around. Why do you think that is?”

“You think of everything Queen Marinette.”

“Of course I do. One of you tell our ally Contrary Fairy the Akuma class knows now. They may be stupid, but they have been competent help to Ladybug before.”

“Yes, my Queen.”

“Don’t forget to tell her to get Ms. Mendeleiev ASAP. The only competent teacher in this school might believe them.”

“Yes, my Queen.”

“Let’s have some fun before Ladybug spoils it.”

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To be continued in Opposite Day: Contrary Fairy Gives DuPont High Their Worst Nightmare (Part 2)

Chapter 2: There’s No Akuma in Dupont

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Lila will be featured more in part 2.

I sprinkled in some salt tropes. I find it funny they work so well for Chloe 2.0.

@andromeda612 @whatsupwithjinx

#Lila Salt #lila rossi #opposite day #mlb duponts worst nightmare au #miraculous ladybug #class sugar #alya sugar #Chloe 2.0 #marinette dupain cheng #Ladybug #akuma #Akuma attack #Contrary Fairy #prompt answered

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demivampirew · 4 years

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Keep calm and go to London.

Tag list: Here’s the incredible people who showed me support (thank you so much for that) and people who asked me to tag them too ☺️ (I think I will write a few chapters of this story, if you want me to tag you, tell me ☺️ ) @cavillanche @mary-ann84 @henry-owns-these-tatas @yespolkadotkitty @dancingwendigo constip8merm8 penwieldingdreamer iloveyouyen littlefreya wondersofdreaming alyxkbrl solariumss sweetybuzz25 @agniavateira

Trigger warning: talking about depression; low self-stem and body image issues.

Disclaimer: I mentioned “Jared” in the story, because Jared Leto is my former celebrity boyfriend 😂 🤣 , before I found othe much better (sorry Jer) -if you want to think in other celebrity, you can 😁 -

You were in London for a few days. Your excuse was to visit some old friends that you haven't seen in a while, but the truth was that were trying to scape Los Angeles for a while. It's been a month since your breakup with Jared and you recently found out that the same day that you broke up with him, he slept with that woman that he sweared was just a friend. You knew that he did it in purpose just to hurt you for hurting him, but still it was an awful feeling to know that the person you spend the last five years of your live, who hold you while you cry all day in the last few months due to your depression, and who knew exactly how you feel about that woman, would be capable of doing something like that. Last September, during your tour in Latinamerica, you fell into a deep depression. Brian - your manager and best friend- found you a good therapist that agree to see you via videocall. At first, you didn't want anyone to find out -beside Jared, Brian and Beth, your other best friend- but soon enough you decide to make an statement on your Instagram account, explaining what you were going through. You made that desition after you saw lots of comments from your Latino fans complaining that you didn't have the same love for them as you have for the American and European fans, because you didn't laugh and smile as much in the meet and greets and during the concerts. It hurt immensely to know that they felt thay way, so you decide to let them know it was true that you weren't able to act happy like you did in the other parts of your world tour, but that it had nothing to do with them or that they love them less than your other fans. After your statement, you receive a lot of support and love and you decide to become an advocate for depression and mental health issues; to fight to erase the stigma around them. Another thing that you did, was promise yourself that you were going to get better, not matter what it takes, your going to get through this. What you didn't realize in that moment, something that a part of you knew for a long time but was avoiding at all cost, is that you needed to end your relationship with Jared if you wanted to get better. He was not a bad man, but he was a terrible boyfriend and you knew it, even if you always tried to make it seem like if he was the perfect partner. He had a few good qualities, like he'd cook for you, and sometimes would text you to tell you that he missed you, and he would hug you every night for sleep. But, unfortunately, that didn't compare to his flaws: he was always working or hagging out with his friends -who included lots of skinny models, one of them was a former lover of his and she even told you to your face that she had feelings for him-; you never went into vacations together because he always cancel last minute due to some work related issue -but yet, he will always find time to travel with friends-, you moved into his house, that you didn't like and when you suggested to buy a new house together he opposed. He had a lots of flaws, but the worst one was the fact that he wanted to keep your relationship in secret. For the first two years of your relationship, you agreed to this because you didn't want paparazzi follow you around everywhere you go, or people commenting on your relationship -especially on the fact the he was nineteen years older than you, you knew that people would love to critize that-, but after a few years, you just wanted to have a normal relationship. You wanted to go to coffeeshops, to travel, to go to a restorant with your boyfriend, to go to the premiere of the movie you were in or an award show together, etc. But he wanted the relationship to remain a secret. It wasn't until one day that you finally convince him to take you out to a restorant that people found out because paparazzi took pictures of you two and the next day the were all over the internet. He say that was ok but gave you the silent treatment for a few days. The fact that he was reluctant to the idea of your relationship being public and being seen with you affected you a lot. You grew up with lots of self-steem and body image issues and before started dated him you finded a way to be ok with your body and even feel sexy and confident, but in the last few years you were back in the self-hate train. You could stop yourself from comparing your curvisious body to the bodies of the skinny Victoria Secret's models friends of your boyfriend. You were barely being intimate in the last few years, which made everything worst because it made you feel undesirable. But luckily, thanks to therapy, you realize what you needed to do. After breaking up with him, you moved out with your best friend Beth, until you decide your next move. You were feeling tired of LA but didn't want to live in New York either, those places were too big and too loud for you; what you were looking for is some peace. London was such a beautiful city. You'd been there before lots of times, but always for work - you were not only a successful actress, but also a famous musician and one of the biggest songwriters and producers in the world- so you never had much time for sightseeing. After a week, you felt a joy that you haven't felt in a while. That city was so magical. And you also got the chance to see some old friends. It felt like if you finally, after so long, you were alive again. That night you were invited by a friend to one of her friends birthday party. He was the actor Simon Pegg and they worked together in the last two Mission Impossible movies, as she told you. She assure you that she asked Simon if he was ok with you coming to the party and he say yes. You were not a party lover, but thought that probably it'd be a great idea to get out of you confort zone for once. You put up a black lace cocktail dress with long sleeves and let your curls free. Put some makeup -you decide to go for more a natural look- and your favourite perfume and went to the party to meet your friend. Once there, you sigh in relive when you saw that the place wasn't too crowded and the music was not too loud. Your friend was waiting for you by the bar, so you went there and after a long hug you two got reaquented. Last time you saw eachother was when you played a concert in London a year ago. You didn't realize how much you missed her until you saw her again. After an hour or so, your friend was looking to her right and notice something. -Come with me. I want to greet some friends.- she said. You followed her and saw her greet a group of gentlemen. Your friend begin to introduce you to the three men. -Y/N, this is Chris; Chris, this is Y/N. - Yes, I know who she is.- Chris replied - It's a pleasure to meet you. -Thank you, it's a pleasure to meet you too. - And he's Edgar.- she continued. - Nice to meet a legend like you- Edgar said while shaking your hand. - I think that's a bit exagerated...but just a bit- you said smirking. -And he's Henry. - The mighty Witcher - you say in a playful voice as you shake his hand. -The one and only - he said, grinning - It's a real pleasure to meet you. - Same here. - you replied. You felt a tingly sensation; like electicity running down your spine and you weren't sure if it was because of his touch, because of his captivating smile, his piercing eyes or his deep voice; probably the combination of all of those things. Some time went by and Chris excuse himself and went to talk to other people. My friend was talking to Edgar and I was chatting with Henry. I told him that I was a huge fan of the show and it was a shame that I haven't had time to read the books yet or play the games. He was really surprised when a told him that I actually enjoy playing videogames, although I don't do it very often due to lack of time. We chat about our favourite games and books. At some point in the night, my friend and I went to the ladies room and after we made our way back to the group, Edgar started to ask me some questions. -So, Y/N, I heard about your breakup. I'm really sorry - He said. - Not need to be sorry.- I replied -Oh, ok. I wonder, now that you are single again, are you open to date? -Edgar! Are you trying to hook up with my friend? - my friend questioned in a protective way - No! I'm not asking for me. There's some friends -he cleared his troat- that find her really beautiful and I know would love to have the chance to have a date with her and I just wanted to know if she'd open to the idea. This friends are pretty cool guys, I promise. - Yes, I supose - I answered, not entirely sure. The idea of a blind date doens't sound appeling to me. -Great! We'll see later about that.- he said and then he look at Henry, like if the two of them were having a mental conversation and then he asked my friend to go with him to pick up some drinks. I continue to talk with Henry about games and the show and then he told me that he was going to visit the set the next day and asked me if I was interested in going to see it with him and of course that's not something I'd say no to. So we exchanged phone numbers and I decided to head back to the hotel so I could get some rest to be able to enjoy the next day.

#henry cavill #fanfiction #demivampirew #henry cavill x reader

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chayacat · 4 years

Text

Devil’s Sweet Star (15)

Fandom: Dead by Daylight

Ghostface x Female Reader

Rated M for Violence, Language and Smut

***

There is nothing better to keep the most precious memories and beauties of life than photos. All those moments that we want to keep forever other than in our memories, no one wants to forget them. Holidays, meetings, the first kiss, marriage, birth... Birthdays. In your family, every little moment of happiness has been photographed. And by the way most of the photos concern you. From your birth... to your degree.

Melina, at your request, had brought you your photo album, which your father had created the day he knew your mother. And it must be said that it was... unusual. And I'm not talking about the outfits of the time.

“Wow. I'm glad I didn't live at that time... A little too eccentric for me.” she said with a laugh.

“Me too... My father and mother said it was the best years of their lives. When they could do what they wanted without worrying about anything. But their clothing taste was horrible. My father kept this shirt for years, until my mother forced him to throw it away because it was too small for him.” You answer with a smile.

“in the meantime, you were a beautiful baby, a little plump but adorable.”

“I'd love to see you in a picture when you were a baby. I'm sure you weren't any better.” You replied with a laugh, Melina turning her head slightly embarrassed.

“I admit my defeat. Oh, did you get that stuffed animal for your first birthday, too? My mother had gone all the shops in the city to find her. And this plastic duck for the bath... a classic.”

You both continue to flip through the photo album while laughing at the various pictures of your father being a fool. In fact, out of 3/4 of the photos, your father is a fool. It was in his temperament, so was your mother. They had found themselves there, two people with the same joy of living. then you end up falling on a photo... very familiar. You and your parents, under the snow, posing next to the snowman and the snow castle you had made. It was a few days before Christmas. The best Christmas you've ever had.

You breathe deeply and you turn the page, spending your high school years quickly, most of your "friends" were true traitors who appreciated you just because you were the best student in the school. Then came your college years that allowed you to meet your real friends. Student nights were always in order and until proven otherwise, you never missed a single one. Even though you're not very friendly with alcohol, it was fun to see others drunk to vomit. Melina and you exchanged on your college years and if yours was pretty cool, for Melina it was hell. Essentially because she was often seduced by the worst bastards on campus. But after a few well-placed kicks, the problems were usually resolved. few came back after a blow to the crotch.

“Well, you were really popular.” you said looking at her.

“Too popular. you understand, a Mexican in my university, for guys it was the Holy Grail. Oh, she's such a beautiful picture. She's new, isn't she?” she said pointing at the last photo of the album.

This photo... your parents' wedding anniversary. You paid them the restaurant and you had the best night of your life... The last one. Tears flowed down your face one after the other, falling on the album. Melina handed you a handkerchief.

“What's happening to you? You don't feel good you want me to go and get a doctor?” She asks worried.

“No no, it’s fine. I just...i just miss them. I miss them very much, and let's say that... where they are it's hard to call them... it's a remote village.” you respond, wiping your tears.

“Oh...I see. Well, when you can take a vacation... go and see them. I'd love to meet them. And then who knows if you and Jed... Go out together, you can introduce them to their future son-in-law. I am sure they would get along.” She replied before receiving a message. “Speak of the devil... He's asking me to tell you that he's eating and that as soon as he's done, he's on his way to see you. you've become inseparable together.”

“Let's say... I don't know, from all the boys I've met... he's the only one I trust. With Mattew, of course!”

“I see. Ok! I gotta go. The hours of morning visits are almost over, I'm hungry and I'm working this afternoon. Rest well and... I can't wait for you to get out of here.”

You say goodbye to Melina with a wave of your hand before letting her go. You look at your parents' photo one last time before closing the album and placing it on the small bedside table. This album means a lot to you and for nothing in the world you wouldn't throw it away. All the best moments of your life are inside. You take a look at the bouquet of flowers that Jed gave you yesterday. Introducing him to your parents, seeing them get along, is something you wanted... but that will never happen.

“You’re mine”

These words resonate in your mind like cymbals. You don't know anything about him, but obviously he knows everything about you. At least about your life in Roseville. Maybe by getting to know him you’ll find something that will allow you to reveal to all his true face. It's a lead to exploit. It is said that curiosity is a defect but... Here your growing curiosity for Ghostface could bring it down once and for all.

Tell yourself you're playing chess with him. Every move you play, both of which will bring you closer to victory. But a bad move, a misstep, one small mistake and you'll lose the game. Except that in this case, it could be fatal to you, because it’s sure that if Ghostface understands what you are trying to do... He'll kill you for sure.

“I have to be careful. If I make a mistake, he'll stick his knife between my eyes. Or worse... he will go after all those I love. I have the lives of many people in my hands. I have to make sure they all stay alive, until he falls.” you whispered to yourself, before you breathe deep and lie down, taking advantage of the reason no one is there to take a nap. You need to rest, so you might as well do it while you're safe.

The fresh air from the beach makes your hair twirl while you watch off a couple with their child playing in the sand. This lovely family... It's yours. A smile appeared on your face, when the wind blew louder lifting clouds of sand. Soon you find yourself in a sandstorm, desperately looking for your parents. You shout their names desperately while putting your hand forward, your eyesight blurred by the sand. You hear them you call and then suddenly... There's nothing left. absolute silence. And a bloody smell floating in the air. a smell you'd like to forget. The storm rages and suddenly a hand grips you, his hand. You barely have time to see the outline of his mask as a blade crashed into your chest, piercing your heart.

You wake up startled, trying to catch your breath. It's a nightmare again. But different this time. As you gradually regained your mind, a hand landed on your shoulder that recoiled you with fear. When you look towards this hand, to find out who owns it, you suddenly feel relieved to see that it was Jed. You look at the clock and well...it was more than a nap.

“Sorry... I didn't mean to scare you. Everything's fine? You're shaking.” he said worried.

“I’m...I’m fine. Just a nightmare...That...damn Ghostface scares me even I'm far away from him. But I'm glad to see you.” You respond smiling a little at him.

You talk for about thirty of everything and nothing. Jed working from home since what happened, he doesn't really have any funny stories of the job to tell. He looked, with your permission of course, at your photo album, laughing from time to time on some embarrassing photo of you. His piercing blue eyes rose on you from time to time, and his face displayed that smile, his lips that you want to touch with yours.

“I envy you; you know. You've had parents who loved you, protected you and took care of you. I had... soulless bodies. I hope I will have the opportunity to meet them one day. With the life they've had, at least from what you've told me, I'm sure they have some fascinating stories to tell.” said Jed a little melancholic.

“I... I'm sorry, but it won't be possible. it will never happen.” you answer sadly looking at him, surprised by your response “If...if I tell you everything, I want you to promise me you won't tell anyone.”

He hesitates for a few seconds before nodding.

“I... I lied.” you start, seeing him a little confused. “Remember that man who came to the café? Mr Parkson? It’s...it’s not my banker. It happened just after my parents' wedding anniversary, 5...6 years ago. at the time I already had my own apartment and I was working as a waitress in a small restaurant. I came to see them all weekend, it was our little daily ritual. My mother made the meal and I made dessert. But that day... I've seen my life come to an end. The house was barricaded. Police prevented anyone from entering the house. And then... I've seen them. In fact, I saw the two body bags they were carrying. I collapsed. The worst part is that an hour before, I had spoken to them on the phone. In the space of an hour... I lost the two people I loved the most in the world. And I don't even know why.” you said tears beading at the corners of their eyes.

“I... I’m sorry. Really. I didn't want to make you relive such a terrible day. No one knew or saw who killed them?” said Jed holding a handkerchief.

“No. They were both stabbed. The police thought of a burglary that went wrong but... nothing had been stolen. And from memory... I don't remember them having one or more enemies. They were nice to everyone.”

“A free murder, then. Or maybe a burglary went wrong actually. But that doesn't mean they deserved to die. So, Mr Parkson is...”

“The executor of my parents' will. I asked him for time to think about it. And when he came, I asked him for another week. I am the only heiress, even if they had very good relations with my uncles and aunts. They should have their share. And yet I'm the only one. Now you know the truth. I trust you to keep this to yourself.” You said with a little smile.

“I will. I promise. I suppose... that I also have a confession to make... I lied, too.” responds Jed clasping his hands and looking elsewhere.

You're looking at Jed, surprise. Him, lying? No one is perfect but it's still hard to imagine Jed lying. But lying about what? What could be so bad for him to lie? Maybe his parents treated him even worse than he said? Maybe he just doesn't have parents? That he lived in a foster home? Which would explain why he was treated so badly...

“I... I already have girlfriends when I was younger. 2 to be more accurate. The first one we didn't go far but we stayed on good terms. The second...” He starts before looking at you, breathing deeply. “Her name was Carla. She was as small as you. Red hair, green eyes... And a natural beauty. She was different from the others. She didn't see me as a little nerd hiding in a corner, being humiliated by big morons. No, she saw me as a normal person. A lot of boys were circling her. But it was me that she had chosen. We stayed together for four years.”

“Oh... It's really adorable... You must have been a lovely couple, and you love each other very much.” you said touched to know that in the end, Jed met someone who gave him what he always needed: love.

“Yeah... we had an apartment of ours. We were happy. And one day... She became seriously ill. She rushed back to the hospital. I thought she would make it. That she would be better and that we could go home, and live as before. But the reality came back to me in my face. Even today, 5 years later, I can't turn the page. But it's not the worst.” he replied, his hands shaking.

“What happened?”

“... The doctor who took care of her let her die. He could have treated her. But he let her die. I found out about it when I found her medical records. I did research, talked to other doctors, and they all told me the same thing: there was a treatment that could have saved her. When I went back to see her doctor...” He stops for a few seconds, as if he were looking for his words. “I insulted him with all the names, and I denounced him in a newspaper article. But it didn't go any further. You have no proof Mr Olsen. They're just accusations. Nothing more. That’s what I was told. And that's how it ended. In total injustice.” He said, looking at you, his eyes filled with sadness, anger and despair.

You don’t know what to do or what to say. Why people are so... Cruel? He could treat her and he let her die! Not to worry about the opinion or reaction of those around her! It's purely outrageous. And it is men like this who take care of the dying. Without thinking, you stand up in bed, to hug Jed, which caused him to startle slightly. Deep down, you know he needs it, and that in this room, at that moment, you're the only one who can comfort him. And for nothing in the world you wouldn't want to let go. But after a while, he will have to go home.

“Everything you went through, you didn't deserve. You had the right to be loved. Life is so cruel... I wish I could have been there to support you. Whenever you needed it, I wish I was there.” you said hugging him a little more.

He did not answer. And for several minutes none of you dared to move. You made the first gesture and released him. Reluctantly, of course. You smile at him, a sincere smile, sorry, but a beautiful smile. Suddenly, without warning, he pressed his lips against yours. Soft, like silk, just like last time. But this time, it was he who took the initiative. He recoiled slightly and just as you were going to speak, a nurse opened the door, signalling the end of the visit.

“I'll pick you up tomorrow. Be ready, sleep well.” He said dropping a quick kiss on the lips before leaving.

It took you a few minutes to get your mind back, before you blushed of what had just happened. Jed kissed you. It was HE who kissed you. Not you. It was sudden, unexpected, it was... It was very nice. You would have liked to keep him with you, kiss him over and over again but unfortunately... you are not at home. The nurse gave you the care, while another brought you the evening meal: potato salad, a steak with carrots, a small cheese and a compote. It's like a school canteen meal. The evening came quickly, you know he's coming. It's only a matter of time before he...

“I'm going to think you're inviting me in, you know that?” he said, chuckling

“You're not going to tell me you'd rather go into people's homes by offense?” you respond looking at Ghostface.

“Oh? You're not insulting me tonight? No fear? What happened, did you gain courage by magic?

“Let's say that now I expect to see you every night... It's starting to become a habit. Then? Are you still playing the nice little Ghostface or are you that sadistic lunatic following me everywhere again?”

“Ha ha, we'll say both. But obviously I see you're feeling better. I can't wait to visit your apartment again every night. But I'm also here to tell you... that I'm preparing everything for that dear McKellan. You'll see when he's dead, you'll finally be in peace. Or almost.” Said Ghostface taking gently your face with one hand.

“I'll never be quiet while you're here. And there's no way I'm going to let you do that!” you said before you feel his hand tightening on your chin.

“You're really going to have to stop living in your fucking fairy tale. And you seem to forget that if you ever report me to the police... I'll kill you, or I'll kill your dear little Jed. Besides, I don't understand what you find him by the way...” he replied shrugging his shoulders, bringing his face closer to yours. “But I love women like you. Who resists me by using another man as distraction.”

You raise your hand to push him away and hit him, but you both heard steps. he finally let you go and miming you to shut up, he walked to the window and sent you a kiss before disappearing. If you wanted to know more about him, for tonight it's missed. But you know he'll come back to you.

And this time, you'll succeed. You lie down and close your eyes to sleep. And for the first time you feel soothed. Because even if this Ghostface is the devil himself... You have an angel to protect yourself.

And his name is Jed Olsen.

***

(Well, it’s done! To be honest I didn't think I'd get here, I thought I was going to get tired but finally I want to continue to the end even though I know that one day I'm going to confront this problem of the blank page ... But hey I'll cross my fingers so that it happens as late as possible! See ya!)

#dbd fanfic #dbd #dead by daylight #ghostface #danny johnson #jed olsen

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jasminevolkan · 4 years

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TIME IN A BOTTLE — self paragraph 001,

& character development TASK #5.

warnings: abandonment issues, divorce, abuse/neglect, death and illness, mentions of christmas, food and alcohol, curse words, jasmine having courage?

JANUARY 1ST 2021, 11:27 am.

Wishes of joy, success and health ended the traditional New Year’s brunch at the Volkan’s residence. Usually, the duo would make this celebration last all day long, but Jasmine had other plans. Instead, she put the leftovers in containers and headed for the exit. She kissed her mother on both cheeks and wrapped her in a tight hug. She earned a pat on the back as a notification she was squeezing her mother’s body too tightly. “Don’t want to let you go,” Jasmine whispered those words like an automatic response. “I’m not going anywhere,” Lana would reply.

They were creature of habits, an inseparable pair. They resembled Russian nestling dolls, there was never one without the other. As years went by, Jasmine grew more and more conscious of the inevitable. She was a star following the moon in a dark night sky, but one day the moon would be swallowed in the void and leave the burning dust nothing but an endless pain, deeper than a black hole. She was no stranger to grief, it did not mean she appreciated the experience. They discussed it often, a little too often to Lana’s liking. Her daughter was so fearless, yet she feared everything in her surroundings. She wished she could fly on her own, but she respected Jas’ desire to circle close to the nest.

They were creature of habits, an inseparable pair. They gifted each other the same thing for Christmas — a holiday they celebrated by choice — however they waited for the first day of the year to open them. Chocolate, candles and promises to spend time together in the future. They made plans to build sandcastles together on a rare calm spot of the beach, where Lana claimed there was a palm tree as old as her daughter. They remembered good and bad events that came out of the previous twelve months.

Usually, they would involve unfortunate recipes or complicated art projects that never came to life. More often than not, they would share a knowing look. The worst that came out of anything was Jasmine’s father. His presence (or lack thereof) impacted them on a daily basis, still. It left a whole in their lives, otherwise complete and satisfying. It fed into Jasmine’s insecurities, it encouraged Lana to relive the constant pain she was in while trying to comfort her daughter. Children to grow old in love and affection. No matter how much love Lana provided, it never seemed to be enough for her daughter.

Love and attention were the same thing as food, for Jasmine. She always craved for more and was afraid she would never get enough.

She walked out of her childhood home and crossed the lawn over to her house. Hidden by the mass of leftovers she carried expertly, she did not notice the box that blocked the door until she bumped her foot against it. She tried to scoot around the obstacle, in vain.

The breeze blew stronger, whipping locks of chocolate brown hair on her face. It sent a wave of goosebumps down her spine. She leaned down to open the box, pulling out stuffed animals, birthday cards and other items she remembered seeing in stores but never having the courage to buy it. Expensive paint brushes and other supplies, sets of gold earrings that sparkled under the sun; the list went on. She picked up a pink bunny, it seemed old and resembled one she had in her oldest memories but could never find again.

Jasmine looked up from the objects, the bunny squeezed tightly against her chest. She frowned and looked around, her mother was not on the porch, the other neighbours were probably asleep or gone. Avalon seemed very quiet, almost surreal.

Surreal like the shadow she noticed standing at the corner of the street. Her eyes squinted and blinked, but they seemed to have washed away the familiar silhouette. Somehow, the bunny felt like it radiated a comfortable warmth. She read the message that was left on the box, the handwriting was printed in her memory.

“I love you. I am sorry it took me your whole lifetime to realize it. Signed, “

The end of the message was scribbled in a whirlwind of blue ink. She had to focus really hard to recognize the three letters. Contrary to the presents or the mysterious figure, the word resonated no familiarity.

“Dad.”

FEBRUARY 14TH 2021, 3:02 AM.

Jasmine kept this a secret, the box and the message. She tried to play it cool, like it did not affect her that her father was trying to build the bridge he destroyed when he left for New York City. She hated New York. She hated bridges. She hated him.

No.

She loved him.

She pulled out a pink gel pen from this same pencil case she carried since high school, it had little doodles and messages written at the back from her friends. She ripped a sheet away from her binder that she used for ideas at work. And she improvised. It usually felt so natural for her, to cross boundaries and to do as she pleased. This time, it was painful and almost impossible to do.

“I loved it when you took me for a drive around the island on nights where I couldn’t sleep. I loved it when you brought me to the candy store after forgetting to pick me up from daycare because you were busy. I loved it when you read stories to me during rainy days so I would be quiet and fall asleep. I loved it when you gave me seashells from all of your work trips, even if they looked identical to those on the beaches down the street. I loved it when you took me to the park and pushed me on the swings just long enough before you got a phone call. I loved it when you wrote notes in my lunch boxes on school days, I saved them all in a bottle of bourbon you left on my night stand that one time you came home as the sun was rising.

I loved it when you acted like a father, even if it was just for a split second.

I love receiving magazines and seeing your name on the front page, congratulating you for all the listings you manage to sell. I love staring at the pages of photos and noticing that I look just like you. I love thinking of new ways to improve myself, because that’s what you would have wanted to. I love thinking you might come back here one day and we can make up for all the time we wasted loathing each other. I love thinking one day we might have a family portrait identical to the one you had in your office of your wife and kids. I love thinking that one day you’ll have one of me with them and hang it on your wall at home. I love thinking that one day, I will get to call you Dad.

I forgive you. I forgive you for leaving mom alone with me. I forgive you for hurting me so much I might just never heal. I forgive you for finding your happiness elsewhere. I forgive you for failing as a father. I forgive you for learning how to do better with your other children. I forgive you for leaving the life you never wanted. I forgive you for having dreams that were larger than what we could give you. I forgive you for breaking the promises you told me of this life where we would be a happy family.

I love you,”

The old pen was running out of ink, so she shook it vividly. She did not bother wiping her tears away, not the stain of pink on her hand that was tinting the paper. She added this short word she had blocked out of her memory all this time. It was just a nickname for all, but for her. She remembered the tone of his voice whenever he said this word, it was calm and posed, loving and caring. He said it rarely, but she could still hear it so clearly.

“Jojo.”

FEBRUARY 14TH 2021, 11:58 PM.

She scrunched the sheets of paper into a ball and threw it on the floor, missing the trash can by two feet at least. She then moved to the couch, grabbing her laptop from the coffee table and logged on her email. Her fingers floated above the keyboard until the screen turned darker. She was looking up to the clock on the wall, watching the seconds fly by.

She took a deep breath, hoping it would slow down time. It had the opposite effect, feeding into this adrenaline rush she desperately tried to repress since the beginning of the year.

She loved him. She never stopped, never will. It would not change. Something needed to change, however, and it was her unhealthy habit of being silent when she needed to speak out the most.

TO: Aleksander Volkan ([email protected])

FROM: Jasmine Volkan ([email protected])

SUBJECT: Receipts and birthday cards

Fuck you. <3

Minnie pressed the button, and sent the email. She shut her laptop close and ran to the abandoned paper on the floor. She unfolded it and held against her chest, disappearing into a room in the search for an envelope.

She was too far to hear the immediate sound of a response.

TO: Jasmine

FROM: Aleksander

SUBJECT:

I love you too.

#self paras.#about.#abuse tw #abandonment tw #death tw #food tw #(( 'love letter' it's not even a letter ~ jas never follows rules that's canon ))#(( the sweater/cardigan and now the letter/email? a true REBEL ))#catalina: task #catalina: love letters #tasks.

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rainebowkitty · 4 years

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Absolutist's Son, Queen's Devotee (Oofy Riddle Fic)

History is often warped over time as ideals change and people evolve. It’s no different for the Queen of Hearts and her legends of villainy. Only in the Twisted Wonderland her story paints her as the heroine, and poor, impressionable Riddle Rosehearts falls victim to the tyranny of not only his oppressive mother, but a boisterously absurd queen as well.

(Basically an angst fic I wrote on a whim about Riddle discovering that his mom and the Queen of Hearts are both villains terrible inspirations to look up to and how that realization literally shatters him. Oh, and for the sake of making sure he can’t deny it, the reader can make anyone relive memories and potentially alter them? by simply touching the person, so guess what kind of stuff he has to relive? I won’t spoil anything, but it’s oofy)

Warnings: Mentionings of beheading

Now! Enjoy my first fic in weeks!

It was nothing but a mirage. It had to be.

Riddle was hyperventilating, his chest heaving up and down in a sporadic pattern as he absorbed the news. His first instinct was to deny it, was to force those thoughts of corruption out with every inch of his small being, with every fiber of magic his shaking form possessed.

But one couldn’t run from a vision, right? Pulling away did nothing as the images you pressed into his mind like a hot coal into his fist still lingered. How did you-? How dare you taint the Queen of Hearts’ legacy with such fallacies. How dare you challenge his mother’s golden rules, the very rules he tried to enforce in order to benefit Heartslabyul as a whole.

What a laughable lie all of your conjurings were. It was the cruelest slap to the face as he pushed you off of him, his shoulders tensing as he backed up, almost hugging himself. But you just reached out once more. And Riddle, his arms crossed over his chest defensively, couldn’t move fast enough to slap your hand away.

“STOP IT!” He screamed. “UNHAND ME!”

But he was quickly lost to his thoughts, a blank expression dawning on him as his eyes stared at nothing in particular, mercury orbs wide in disbelief.

A small, youthful redhead sat on a lonesome bench in a private garden. The boy was awaiting his new instructor’s arrival whenever a small rodent caught his eye. It was the most adorable creature the boy had ever seen. It was a pale cream color, small and petite with little spines poking from its back. Its curious, pink nose scrunched itself up multiple times as it sniffed the ground. It wasn’t long before it was sniffing the young boy’s gloved hand, ultimately deciding whether to name him friend or foe.

After the critter gave the boy a thorough security check, it allowed the redhead to gently pet its head with two fingers. Minutes ticked on until the spiny rodent allowed itself into the boy’s palms, pink nose now smelling a smiling face. Joyous, childlike laughter bubbled from the usually serious boy. It was so free, so pure in its form that you’d mistake him for any old kid with a thing for dressing up perhaps.

But no, this boy was Riddle Rosehearts, son of a famous, stern healer, sharing a moment of joy with a wild woodland hedgehog. The two made quite the duo, both short in stature yet fierce in appearance with either spikes or a menacing glare to keep them safe. Anyone would’ve mistaken the two as friends; boy and boy’s best friend. However, Mrs. Rosehearts wasn’t anyone, and she wouldn’t allow her prestigious son to mingle with vermin such as this primitive hog.

“Riddle, put that rodent down!” She commanded as she approached him. “I’m glad you wore your gloves today. There’s no telling how many diseases that thing has.”

The young boy hastily set the critter back on the grassy ground, the light-furred animal scampering under the bench and behind Riddle’s foot as if the boy was capable of protecting it from the intimidating woman. He couldn’t even bargain with his mother for the chance to have a real strawberry tart on his birthday, let alone secure the life of a defenseless hedgehog.

“Sorry mother,” the boy would’ve muttered had the woman not pounded it into his head to speak clearly if he was going to speak at all. “Where’s my tutor?”

It was an honest question, one he thought was reasonable to ask whenever he was busier than any kid in town. It often felt impossible to remember everything and yet his mother just scoffed at his question as if he should already know the answer.

“We changed locations for your lesson,” she crossed her arms in annoyance. “I believe I told you during yesterday’s tea time, but I had a hunch you’d forget.”

Of course Riddle thought. How could he be so forgetful when she even reminded him?

“Well hurry along now,” she tapped her foot impatiently as Riddle left with thin grace. He was so close to running, to sprinting just so he wouldn’t be any more tardy than he already was, but his mom would chastise him for that. He opted instead for speed walking, a heartfelt apology already forming in his mind to recite to the unlucky tutor. He knew people didn’t like their time being wasted and to do this in his first meeting with this particular teacher was unthinkable. He almost didn’t hear his mother’s last words as he sped off, but unfortunately he was conditioned to tune into her beguiling voice.

“Please be more mindful next time, Riddle,” her tone was more bitter than she liked her tea and it didn’t take much imagination to guess the expression she wore either. “You’re on a strict schedule for a reason. Remember that.”

Then she did something Riddle hadn’t heard her do in a long time. She chuckled.

“If you can remember, that is.”

Riddle picked up his pace without looking back.

“Riddle!”

His mother’s distraught cries rang through the corridors as he dashed down them one by one. He checked each room, his hands clumsily fumbling with the knobs far too long for his liking. He was panting, short huffs of breath rippling through his small form as he tried not to trip over his heeled shoes with each panicked stride.

“Riddle! Please!”

Another shriek. Riddle swore he heard a heavy sound trail his mother’s call, the thick, harsh reverb of it sending shudders through his already shaking body. When would he find her? When would he save her like the dutiful son he was meant to be? She always told him to be on schedule. Was this what she meant? Did her job as a healer leave her with such a tight grasp of time and its passing that she wanted to transmit that trait to her son too? “Son,” his mom wept, a crack in her usually smooth, authoritative tone creaking from her throat somewhere nearby. Riddle stopped dead in his tracks, the satisfying click of his heels dying with his momentum as he strained to hear anything over the throbbing of his own heart. It was silent again before he heard the precise cling of metal. That sound was followed by a burly chopping sound, the greedy blow of an axe striking its target as his mother’s sobs were abruptly cut with a gasp.

Riddle felt the material of his gloves as his clammy hands clenched into fists. He felt an unquenchable fire bubble inside of him, but for the first time in years he couldn’t express it with his voice. Did all that time biting his tongue for his mother really leave him speechless during her death? Was yelling rendered pointless whenever he was so shaken to his core he was unsure his vocal cords would ever function the same way again?

His legs wobbled before his knees buckled, not allowing him to collapse or to take another step further. He was in the middle ground, so close to being able to escape while also being entirely numb. If he should run from whoever murdered his mother, he was left defenseless by shock, fear, guilt and shame. That desire to rescue her was now unachievable, so he surrendered, shutting his eyes tightly and awaiting the worst in his defeat.

Eternal seconds passed as tears trickled down his pale cheeks. Then he felt what he was waiting for; a clap on the shoulder. Wait, a clap on the shoulder? He almost jolted, but his frozen legs and body wouldn’t let him complete the action properly. Instead he almost fell over. He struggled to turn around and catch himself without face planting into the tiles, but he managed it, seeing his mom in perfect health, not a drop of blood in sight of her commanding presence.

He had believed that presence was shattered. He had been so sure that the only parent he was ever devoted to had fallen and he had failed to intervene. He had failed to protect her, he had failed her as her son. And for a moment he was content dying that way by the same husky axe he was convinced someone stained on her flesh, her blood sputtering over an elite uniform well-known and revered across the world as the hope she inspired did nothing to save her in the end. He was ready to die a failing coward who’s magic was advanced for his age but deficient when it truly mattered. He was ready to be beheaded like the Queen of Hearts herself, like he was certain his mom had been.

He was ready for that legacy, not one of crying before his mom as he stuttered out broken apology after broken apology for not reaching her in time, longing for her to tell him sorry for deceiving him in such a harsh manner. To tell him that for once she was the mistaken one. But that moment never came. Only lectures followed as he sobbed for his mommy, a mommy who would never comfort or console him. A mommy who only existed in the depths of his imagination, someone he had to force into his mind to even gain the willpower to sprint down these halls as he searched for that proud, loving figure.

But his actual mom was not that loving figure. There was a reason she chose to test him this way, and there was also a reason behind the oppressive axe as her method of execution. There was a reason he was seconds late to her calculated demise and a reason he thought he had to die the same horrible death. The same death as the Queen of Hearts.

Not her too.

There were flashes of a short figure sitting on a throne; glimpses of a wide, cruel smile as soldier after soldier was sent to the guillotine. Memory after memory cycled of someone royal and absolute going over daily tasks Riddle had grown so accustomed to. Directing people to paint the roses, hosting Unbirthday parties and kicking out the guests unfit to reside at such a refined event. Only this time unruly subjects were given a harsher punishment than simple banishment. They were disposed of to make sure the same mistakes weren’t repeated down the line. But no one was to mourn in the Queen’s court, only obey the current rule set which offered no times for heartbroken liegemen.

For countless years their activities were outlined for them, their stories pre-written until someone new and daring appeared in Wonderland. A fair lady named Alice, always depicted as malicious and mischievous for disregarding the absurd rules of such an exotic queen. However, now the Queen’s destiny was chosen, her agenda hand-picked by those she once ruled. She was the one being dragged to her untimely end by the very subjects who should obey her. Only it wasn’t the Queen’s turn to atone.

It was Riddle’s.

“MAKE IT STOP!” Riddle sounded increasingly desperate as he pushed you away once more. He was about to see himself die like the Queen he so virtuously admired. He would pay for all of her unjust punishments. He was left with his neck stretched across the bloodied plank of the guillotine, a sharpened blade raised high above his head ready to fall and end it all with one swipe. Or maybe it wasn’t sharpened. Maybe they wanted to see him suffer that much. Maybe those peasants wanted to see the Queen suffer that much as she shouted her last command to an audience now deaf to her cries.

Riddle was gasping at the intake of knowledge. The tales always ended with the loyal subjects corrupted by a filthy miscreant named Alice. Why did she resemble you so much in this vision? You weren’t anything like her. You had no intention to harm Riddle or to taint the Queen’s name. So why were your graceful eyes looking upon him with such stinging pity? Why was your touch causing grandeur delusions beyond his control to prance along his brain like bunnies on a time crunch? And why did it all feel so real when the storybooks never lied to him before? Was this dorm, the Queen he held on such a high pedestal, really horrible enough that all it took was someone sweet like you to talk to the lowly peasants and humble nobles to overthrow her? To overthrow Riddle himself?

He swallowed hard as his skull ached, his shoulder blades burning as he backed himself farther into the thick wall behind him. You made no move to touch him, having realized he had seen enough to understand your purpose and the lie he’s been living. Even so, there was so much frantic confusion in each detailed memory that he craved for you to explain.

“Why?” He croaked as he stared you down fearfully. “Why did you show me that?”

“Because you were living a lie,” you spoke soothingly, but it did nothing to ease the panic in his eyes. “You deserve to know the truth about those you look up to.”

“Y-you don’t understand,” his lip trembled. “I’ve made myself to be like them in every way. When I was overwhelmed trying to abide by my mom’s rules, I’d turn to the Queen of Hearts because her rules were simple. I could follow them. I was always right by her standards. But if she was wrong all along and so was my mother then… what does that make me?”

You were unsure of how to respond. It wasn’t your intention to leave the boy’s ideals crumbling with the realization that his top role models weren’t deserving of such an incredible, dedicated follower. You wanted him to see that he didn’t need them anymore, but whenever everything he built his seventeen years of life upon could be linked back to his mother or the Queen of Hearts, you realized telling him might have been more detrimental to his health than anything else. And your silence to his question only further engrained this inferiority into his collapsing psyche.

“I’m just as horrible, aren’t I?” He whispered loathingly.

Once again you were silent.

“ANSWER ME!” He shouted, tiny fists bawled in an attempt to deny their shaking. If only he knew that his entire body was quivering as he seethed, every ounce of showcased hostility suddenly evaporating as he backed into the wall again, almost cowering away as he became aware of his sudden lash out.

The trauma you unveiled, the bittersweet fairytale you wanted to share the true nature of despite Riddle’s solid belief in the tale he’s always been told, it was incomprehensible for someone so faithful. But what were you to do when your idea of showing him the grim reality wasn’t associated with the potential need to reassure such a fragmented boy of his own personal good deeds?

“If you have nothing else to say,” he straightened his posture and hardened his expression, though the anxiety in his frame was still evident. “I’d appreciate it if you left.”

“But-”

“Don’t. Just return to your dorm,” he more so pleaded than commanded. “Please.”

So you left him to his feelings like he asked you to. It was a mercy you stayed quiet if you truly viewed him as suffocating as those he idolized for their severe disciplines and the success that seeped like bitter sap from following such intensive mandates. He didn’t want to know the truth behind your maze-like emotions for him just as he didn’t care to uncover the honest goals of those he strived to imitate when he thought he already knew and lived by them anyway. But if everything he was boiled down to the distorted perception of a nonsensical empress and an imperious, overbearing mother, then what original shards of himself could he rely upon for revision of his old ways? How could he become more than a Queen’s foolish prophet or the successor of an illustrious healer?

Most importantly, where did their wicked influences end and his own sense of identity begin?

If you enjoyed this, maybe I can write more following this realization of Riddle’s? I’ve also been told I write Riddle and his mom’s relationship really well so be prepared for more oofs involving that whole mess I’ll gladly accept headcanons you’d like to see play out between them. I’m here for your angsty needs, by all means ask away

#twisted wonderland #twst #riddle rosehearts #twst riddle #queen of hearts #heartslabyul #twst angst #twst fic #fanfic #riddle's mom #miss rosehearts #mrs roseheats #mama rosehearts #second person fic #golly it's been awhile since I posted anything original #but prepare for a double whammy cuz it's kalim's bday!

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ardent-musings · 3 years

Text

The Girl Who Vanished (Part 1)

Chapter 21: “Do Your Worst”

TW: Recalling a traumatic experience.

The entirety of the train ride to Hogwarts was filled with Aeron telling the group what had happened last year and why he was radio silent during the whole summer. All of them were on pins and needles over the whole ordeal. The boy regrettably explained how he was the one who had set off the fireworks during the Quidditch Pitch, waiting for his inevitable exile from the friend group. He was expecting everyone to scream at him, but they remained quiet even if Alex's temper was building back up slightly, she held it in.

He retold the interaction he had with Marcus Flint who already had a strained history with the Weasley twins, apparently the Slytherin captain was convinced that the twins ruined their chance at winning the Quidditch Cup when the redheads were just first years. And once Aeron confided in Flint over how badly the twins aggravated him, Aeron was enlisted to help frame the boys for the Quidditch Pitch disaster.

"Flint snuck into the Gryffindor changing rooms and planted the firework wrappers in there to make it seem like it was them, I was given the task of setting off the fireworks," his brown eyes were focused only on the fluffy stuffed rabbit that sat in his lap. "He told me to light them after the game ended and I did, but one of them tipped over and, and-" he took a deep breathe, his thin fingers trembling slightly as his mind took him back to the flames and the smoke, "-when one of them tipped over, they all just misfired."

He was beginning to trip over his words as he relived the horrors of being trapped underneath the stands as it got caught on fire. His chest started heaving and Ana calmly reminded him to breathe and relax. Unsure of what to do, Alex started to quietly sing "Tiny Dancer" entirely off key, which gave the whole compartment a good laugh and distracted Aeron from himself for a moment; it was horribly sung but it made the panicked boy smile.

"Sorry, but Calista sings that to me sometimes when I have to calm down."

Calista chuckled at Alex's admission, enjoying the tiny break of humor, until they all turned back to allow Aeron to continue. Once he did, he told them about how Hagrid was the one to find him injured outside the pitch and the half giant had immediately taken him to St. Mungos. From there on out, he had stayed there the whole summer.

"I truly didn't mean for anyone to get hurt, like you, Alex," he sniffled at the girl who did have a bit of a grudge against the boy. But everyone could tell that based off the state of his inflamed skin, that Aeron had suffered enough, "I just wanted to get back at the twins for the things they had done. I'm sorry."

There was a second of silence among the group, a second that lasted hours to the young regretful boy.

"I forgive you," Calista said with a wide smile, which felt more like a hug to Aeron at this moment.

The rest of the compartment expressed their forgiveness, but the last one to do so was Ana. He stared at the girl whose forgiveness he craved the most; the first person to give him a chance, the first person to actually make him smile. Yet, her face remained still and calculated.

"I only have one question, Wright," she stated with a stone cold expression. His nervousness began seeping back in slowly, but he nodded his head while fearing the worst.

"Did you get my flower that I brought you when I visited you at St. Mungos?" Her mask of indifference fell as she grinned back softly at the boy who had once been so sneaky and conniving. Perhaps he just wanted someone to talk to. Someone to call a friend.

Upon hearing her question, his strained brows fell in relief as he dipped down into his luggage and grabbed his history book. And sure enough, within the dense pages that once cause her such grief held the single pink flower that she had given him that day in the hospital. It was flattened and a bit yellowed. But it was perfect.

"I'll have you know that you came on my birthday, Ana," he chuckled as he began to unfold one of the delicate petals. "Thank you for giving me a birthday gift."

It was late in the afternoon when the train had finally arrived at the Hogsmeade Station, they all talked about Quidditch tryouts which were incredibly intriguing to both Ana and Alex. There was one position open since the last chaser had graduated, but unfortunately Marcus Flint was the captain, so even if everyone hated the sniveling boy, they had to play nice if they wanted to make the team.

Lucian rattled on about the letters he had been exchanging with the Hufflepuff seeker, Cedric Diggory. Since the last game where Diggory caught the snitch, yet lost the game, the boys had found talking to each other surprisingly fun. Lucian enjoyed talking to someone simply about the game of Quidditch instead of only thinking of having to win. And even a Slytherin like Lucian could appreciate raw talent when he saw it.

But soon enough the carriage ride that was led by the thestrals took them straight to the castle and they walked back through the familiar corridors and into the Great Hall. It was still warm as it was just the start of September, but a gentle breeze sent a wave of calm over not only Ana and her friends, but she assumed it would help little Draco as he was off boating across the Black Lake like she had to do last year.

She took her usual spot between Lucian and Aeron while Alex and Calista sat opposite them, the sorting hat was going to be placing its next set of students into their house and if anyone was the most welcoming, it was going to be Lucian and Calista. Ana was far too tired to be chipper this night.

That feeling was drowned by the excitement that filled her veins as soon as she heard Draco's name being called. His hair was combed neatly and he had a smirk on his face. Always the one for attention Ana chuckled to herself. It was no surprise to her when the hat placed him in Slytherin before the piece of raggedy clothing even touched his head, and Ana was ecstatic to have him sit beside Lucian with a giant smile on his face. Draco gave his sister a tiny wave as he watched for more to come.

A few students had been sorted to their houses, two more stocky boys to Slytherin which Draco seemed incredibly excited about, a girl with bushy hair went to Gryffindor, the list went on and on. A familiar redhead caught her eye, she remembered him to be the twins' little brother and she watched as he sighed and waltzed his way towards the Gryffindor table. The twins ruffled his hair and took their brother in with wide arms which made her smile.

"Potter, Harry."

The room went silent. No one dared speak as the boy who Ana thought looked familiar, but she couldn't have been sure. He was scrawny and sat at the stool with unease. Of course the hat had a whole monologue about the pros and cons of every house, but the infamous boy was sent over to Gryffindor in the end. That's something the house was going to brag about for eternity, Ana sunk further into her seat. Even if it would've been fun to have the kid in her house, she was just happy to have Draco with her. She could see him without the looming threat of their father. And for that she was grateful.

However, as the first week at Hogwarts went along, she felt like Draco wasn't necessarily ignoring her, but he was definitely highly infatuated with any ounce of attention he received from the two imbeciles she had learned were named Crabbe and Goyle. They didn't seem like bad kids, but every time she looked at them too she wondered if a single thought ever crossed their minds. Draco seemed to do the talking for all of them. Maybe he did all the thinking too.

Even with Draco being a bit distant, Ana was just happy to be home. She would wake up from her dreamless sleep and get to spend the rest of her waking hours with people who she couldn't dare live without. Ana craved the routine that came from being at Hogwarts and part of that meant she resumed her study sessions with Aeron.

Every night after dinner they would retreat to the common room, find the quietest nook they could and studied the night away. Sometimes genuine work was being done while most of the time they were goofing off and making light hearted fun at the ghostly teacher. This night was one of those where there was more talking than studying. Aeron dipped his head back and let out a snort as Ana horribly mispronounced a very famous wizards name and no matter how hard she tried to reel him in, she too couldn't stop herself from laughing.

Their good moods were squashed when a small clump of burning paper landed between the two of them, and Aeron froze at the flame that mocked him as it burnt in the middle of the table. Infuriated, Ana slammed down her book overtop the ball that extinguished the flame, but that did nothing to extinguish the fury that was growing in her gut. She didn't even have to guess who it was from because from a short distance away stood Marcus Flint. He cackled as he began to pat furiously at his skin, the way someone would if they caught fire. And all Aeron could do was watch as the boy mocked his pain before the older boy dipped away from sight and towards his dorms.

Ana hated him. She didn't even hate her father, but Merlin, did she want to get back at the Quidditch captain for being the mastermind behind the whole thing. He hurt Aeron, Alex, countless other students. He even hurt the twins by accusing them of doing something they had no part in. And she was going to make him pay. But she needed recruits.

The next morning during breakfast, she nibbled on her fruit and muffin while she watched the grimy Marcus Flint go about his morning like nothing was wrong. Oh, but he would soon realize he made a mistake, Ana smirked as she continued writing her note with a lux quill. As far as she knew it, she was signing away the boy's sanity for the indefinite future, and it filled her with more joy than anything she had yet to experience. When the daily mail came, she tied her note to her owl's leg and sent it off to its destination. This is going to be beautiful Ana thought.

"Ah, Ms. Bibiana Malfoy," an annoyingly plummy voice said from behind her, "just couldn't stay away could you?"

She had been enjoying the quiet squawks and chirps that the owlery provided her; their gentle coos mixed with the summer breeze made Ana wonder why she didn't spend much time there. Maybe it was the smell of bird poop that really killed the mood. But that wasn't what Ana was there for in the first place.

"Wished I could get rid of you Weasley," Ana chuckled as she turned to see the two boys she knew would jump at the chance to help her. George smiled at her whereas Fred looked down at her feigning being hurt at her comment.

"Why'd you call us to the owlery? You never come here," the older twin asked suspiciously, his arms crossed in front of his chest while George chuckled at Fred's mannerisms.

Ana quirked her eyebrow at his statement, "How do you know where I go Weasley?"

George's eyes widened and he started to shuffle nervously while Fred remained still and composed. "Just a guess."

"Well do you want to guess as to why I called you here or do you want me to tell you?"

Before Fred said another dumb comment, George stepped up so he stood between Ana and his brother, effectively putting some needed distance between the two. Fred's face fell once he was no longer in the front but George's lower voice sounded intrigued, "I, for one, would like to know why you wanted to talk, Ana."

She was surprised by how agreeable George sounded, perhaps she should just talk to him from now on. "Wonderful!" she quipped. "Well, I have come to a bit of fascinating information over the summer, and I think you two should know."

"And what is that, Malfoy?" Fred asked from over his brother's shoulder which made George roll his eyes.

It took her a moment to realize they were wearing matching shirts and she couldn't help but chuckle at the fact that they must've coordinated their look every morning. Before she lingered on that hysterical thought for too long, she whipped her long hair over one shoulder.

"I just so happen to know not only who set the Quidditch pitch on fire, but I also know who framed you boys," she stood there looking incredibly pleased with herself, her spine stood strong and tall. For a rather small girl, she commanded a lot of respect.

"Was it your bird looking friend? What was his name? Aeron?"

Ana's attention snapped to Fred at the bitterness in which he accused Aeron. He somehow always knew the exact thing to push her buttons and Ana was once again growing tired of his attitude. Aeron was partially at fault, but if anyone deserved a sliver of mercy, it was him.

"You know what?" Ana's voice turned metallic and sour, hoping her harsh glare would shake the boy out of his condescension. "Maybe you don't deserve to know."

And with a huff, she turned on her heels and began to walk towards the exit of the tower. If they wanted to be difficult, there was no reason for her to talk to them at all. She would rather walk away than have them, mainly Fred, disrespect her and her friends.

A rush of air flew past her on either side and now the two boys were blocking her only way out. They had grown over the summer; the bottoms of their pants exposed their ankles and mix-matched socks and she wondered why they didn't just buy clothes that actually fit them. In a year, those pants would turn into shorts by this rate.

"Please tell us," George asked desperately while elbowing his older brother in the gut which made Ana's angry façade break with a giggle. Fred's smile came as quickly as it left, but he rolled his eyes like a pouting toddler at having to concede a bit to the girl.

"Yes, please tell us, snake. We are shaking with anticipation," Fred grumbled.

This was not going to do, she thought, "George can you come with me please?" Ana requested as she walked further into the tower. A confused yet responsive George shuffled as he joined her. Fred was about to follow until Ana held up a hand, which demanded the growing boy to freeze in place.

"No! Not you! From now on I am only speaking to George," she hollered at the more annoying twin.

George's face twisted into a look of nervousness but it dwindled when Ana smiled at him.

"I am going to tell George," she emphasized his name loudly just to annoy Fred even more, "that Aeron was not involved. And if he was involved, I would say that just by looking at him, you can tell he has suffered enough. Would you agree, George?"

He nodded his head quickly as he caught on to her little charade, "Why, yes, Ana. I would agree that Aeron has been through the ringer. Please tell me that secret you wanted to share with me! And only me!" His animated voice rose in volume; he wanted Fred to know that he was no longer included in the fun.

Fred let out a large groan of frustration as he stood across the tower like a child that was put in time-out. And like a child, he listened and took his punishment which made it even better for Ana. She found it overwhelming satisfying, and George was getting a kick out of it as well, the two of them giggled quietly between themselves.

"The real person who framed you, George, and destroyed the pitch was," Ana's voice shrunk into a tiny whisper, almost too low for even George to hear, "Marcus Flint."

George's eyes bulged from his head at the reveal and he sat down on a ledge to mull over the confession. Ana stood confident and self-assured, she knew her gut was right when she told Dumbledore they didn't do it. She'd have to remember to trust her gut again if a situation called for it.

"What did you say?" Fred questioned from far away. Ana figured she should just ignore him, but god was it fun to push his buttons. After all the turmoil he put her through, she found it was justified.

"George do you hear an annoying buzzing sound or?" She waved her hands around her ears dramatically which just made Fred run his hands through his hair as he hopped around impatiently.

After a moment of introspection, George stood up and leaned closer to Ana, "It was Marcus? God that actually makes sense."

"Why is that?"

"Because we sent him to St. Mungos," Fred scared the hell out of Ana, who he had sneaked up on. She jumped slightly which made him smirk softly at the girl.

"I'm not talking to you," Ana directed to the older twin, before turning back to George, "But what did you do to him? How bad did you hurt him?"

Fred and George both turned fidgety as they recalled he same memory together, like they shared one single stream of consciousness.

"Deterioration Hex," they said in unison.

Ana's expression grew even more confused since she had never heard of the hex. Sensing her cluelessness, George explained, "We were throwing the hex around in the courtyard after hours and we didn't see Flint when he came running out of one of the wings."

"That foul git was on his way to do something probably rotten when he got blasted with it," Fred chuckled to himself. "But it took him out so bad that he had to be sent to St. Mungo's to reverse it. I cannot believe he held a grudge for that long, Georgie."

"Well, he did," Ana shifted so she was facing both boys head on. "And since I saved both of your bums last year, I figured we could come to an agreement."

The two stood silently, curious eyes lingered on the girl as they waited for her proposal. She analyzed them both. George's arms were wrapped around himself as he bobbed on his heels while Fred had his arms crossed behind his back and his head crooked to the side. They were both copies of each other and yet they never once looked the same to her. Everything about them was different and it brought her a bit of pride to know she already had them down pat.

"I don't want you to prank Aeron or me or any of my other friends."

From the look on their faces she might as well have told them that she snapped their brooms in half. They looked positively dejected at the mere thought of not annoying her, but she stuck to her gun and continued to send the boys daggers until they folded.

"Alright," Fred replied with a hint of softness, his nonchalant act began to fade, "you have a deal."

"However, when it comes to Aeron, Flint has been a real thorn in his side. And anyone that hurts my friends are certainly not going to get away with it," Ana confided to the boys. "We all want the same thing here. So, instead of pranking me, the person who saved you from expulsion, put that energy towards a new target. You understand?"

Both of the boys picked up on her insinuation and they tuned to each other with mischievous looks which Ana now found endearing, knowing she wasn't going to be the victim of their pranks. Ana dipped her head respectfully, insinuating that she was going to leave.

"Wanna shake on it?" Fred grinned at the girl, holding out his hand at their business deal before she could turn away.

Ana stared at his hand for a moment, wondering if she should take it. She felt nervous all of a sudden, but she knew that she wanted to shake his hand. So she did, it was quick and surprisingly painless; but she enjoyed how the twins smiled at the agreement they all came to.

The boys started gushing about what they were going to do to the Slytherin captain; they were going to have plenty of fun with this.

"Just so we're clear, you didn't hear any of this from me," Ana said smoothly as she was almost out the door, "I plan on getting the open chaser position and don't really want the captain to hate my guts."

Fred and George nodded excitedly, they were not only making amends with the girl, but they were instructed to prank a person they already didn't like. It was a glorious night for them.

"But, boys," they looked at her like two children who were being tempted by hoards of sugary and addicting candy, she smirked at them, "do your worst."

#fred weasley #fred weasley smut #fred weasley fanfic #fred weasley x oc #bibiana malfoy #the girl who vanished #tgwv #tgwv 1-21 #enemies to friends to lovers

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mywrittingwonderland · 5 years

Text

She comes first (Shawn x Sophia)

Soooooo, Sophia is Back!! A quick follow up to Shawn’s birthday series, should I make a part 2 of this?

P.S. Sorry for any mistakes, Its 2a.m. but my body does not want to sleep :(

Enjoy :)

Word Count: 3,524 Part 2 Part 3 - - - - - -

"Fuck you, Andrew! Why did you post that video before I talked with her?" He shouted, visibly stressed out. He got the phone and tried to call his girlfriend for the 3rd time.

"Shawn, you knew we would post the video. You should have talked with Sophia before. Don't put this one on me." Andrew said, making Shawn turn his eyes.

"Yeah, a heads up would be nice, you know?" Shawn answered. "Pick up, pick up…"

"Her team asked for us to synchronize with her new clip."

"Yeah, I got that. But I didn't know that before you know? Just please leave me alone? I need to find a way of talking to my girlfriend now." He asked, and Andrew left the room. He tried one more time without success. "Fuck!" He started to panic, thinking of how she was handling the awful video he didn't even want to record in the first place.

He lay down and looked up at the ceiling for a while, trying to think what he should do next. He was about to reach his computer and look for airplane tickets when he received her call back.

"Baby, please let me explain," Sophia made a confused face. She had just wake up, but of course, Shawn didn't think of the time difference.

"What's going on, Shawn?" She asked and yawned later. She could sleep a few more hours since she had gone to bed pretty late to talk with him.

"Were you sleeping, Phi?" He asked a little bit relieved she hadn't seen the video yet.

"Yes, it's very early here. Time difference, remember?" He nodded, forgetting she couldn't see him.

"Are your parents home?" He asked because he genuinely didn't want her alone. And he knew she would end up seeing it sooner or later

"No, they just come back next week from their trip," She said. "What's going on?" She asked one more time.

"We recorded a video some months ago, and Andrew posted it on my Instagram account a few hours ago." He explained.

"Okay? Do you want me to see it and give my opinion?" She asked, making him wanting to kill himself a little bit more.

"No! Please don't open that." She frowned but waited for him to explain himself. "I am buying tickets to go see you now, I will be there in 6 hours. Don't open before I am there, okay?"

"Shawn, just tell me, how bad is this?" She asked, knowing by now that it has something to do with the PR.

"Very bad, I swear I didn't want to record that. I am so sorry Sophi" He listened as she whispered.

"I am to FaceTime you, and we will see it together, okay?" She asked. "Shawn, you can't just fly to me every time something goes wrong. And you have a studio session today, remember?" She said, making him close his eyes for a second and let the tears fall down.

"Baby, please let me go. I can't do this with you." He said. Of course, she would propose for him to not go, because she understood that it would be all over soon. And she just spent a long time seeing photos of them she didn't think it would be that bad, but he knew this was way too much to just throw in her at a video.

"Are you crying?" She asked, hearing his voice muffled.

"Yes? Baby, don't see it. Please, I am so sorry," He said, desperate, trying to stop her.

"Shawn, we are good, it's okay." She said, trying to soothe him.

"It's not…" He said, making her change the call for a video call.

"Hey, look at me." He looked in her eyes on the screen of the phone. In other circumstances, he would have noticed how cute she was in her harry potter pajamas, and also how unintentionally he had his harry potter pajamas also on. And he would have teased her that they were such a couple goals, and finally, he would say that he shipped them. "We are fine, I don't want you to ruin your studio sessions by coming here. Because we both know that if you do, Camila will have to come, and you will have to pretend to do something here in London. And honestly, I don't want that." She said, making him nod, he knew she was thinking ahead of him. But still, he didn't want her alone with that because he would rather fuck everything up from the PR and go hug her through it, and remember her that she was the only one always.

"Baby, I am scared." He admitted. He was terrified, since the beginning. But he knew it wouldn't be fair to her for him to say that out loud. Because she was probably more scared than him. She was probably as scared as he was now in the entire process. When he realized that, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I am so sorry I am making you feel this way during this entire thing."

"Shawn, we have talked this one out before," She said. "And it is okay to be scared, I am too. But we are here together in this video call, okay? I promise I would never break up with you over a video call." She said, making him smile.

"That does not make things better, because what if you come here tomorrow and do it in person?" He asked.

"Shawnie, not happening." She said, and took a deep breath. "Can I open Instagram now?" She asked and noticed how he just closed his eyes and nodded without a word being said.

He bitted his lips when he heard the first sounds of the video over his phone, and he focused intensely on her face to catch all her reactions to it. The beginning had nothing, and he knew that. But he could sense that it would be weird to have a video of her and someone else about their feelings being hurt because someone said something about the way they kissed. And he knew that if it were the two of them, she would never agree in posting anything closer to that video with him. They would be mostly like Cole Sprouse and Lili Reinhart, even less them. Shawn noticed how she simply closed her eyes when the second part of the video began.

"Is it over?" She asked with a chuckle. And then she laughed. He looked at her, surprised by her reaction. "I am sorry… that's just so fake that I can't even be pissed about it. Even though I am at the same time." She said, making him chuckle nervously. She took a deep breath. "What the fuck where you thinking? I am like.. embarrassed? Sorry, but I am." She said, and he was relived in a sense.

"I didn't plan that, believe me. Never would." He said, and she nodded. "Are you gonna shout at me now or later?"

"I am not going to, I think your mom will do that later and also your sister. And your entire family." She pointed out, making him blush. "I mean, Shawn, this is not something you would ever do." She pointed out.

"I know it's embarrassing to see it. And honestly, if it were us, I would never do that with you," Shawn said.

"Okay, first of all, if you ever thought about even in your deepest imaginary to do this video with me, I would honestly call your mom and tell her you broke your head." She said, making him laugh. That was not the reaction he was expecting at all from her.

"Are you okay?" He asked, not really sure of what to expect anymore. "Do you want me to catch that flight to hug you, I will go now." She took a deep breath, trying to organize her thoughts about the unbelievable video she had just seen. Honestly, if he hadn't called her crying about that, she would have thought someone hacked into his account. "Tell me, what are you thinking, please?" He asked, biting his lower lip.

"Okay, so I am not gonna say I am completely fine or happy with this because that would be lying," She said, and he nodded, waiting for her to finish. "It's just, I honestly am having a hard time understanding the purpose of this one." She said and sighed. "And please don't be mad, but are you sure you feel nothing about her?" She asked, her insecurities kicking in for a minute. She had to confess at least to herself that after thinking his account was hacked she would have realized that the video was not fake, and even if it was posted by a hacker he did record that, and she would probably have cried, but she would have hidden that from him when he called.

"Baby, I don't feel anything for anyone but you. I am sorry you had to see that, I am sorry this is on the internet. I am sorry I kissed her." He said, finally getting a little closer to what he expected.

"Okay." She picked up in her mouth this time, taking some deep breaths and looking back at him. He could tell she was sad, and it broke his heart. "Please don't do this again?"

"I pinky promise it won't happen ever again, never ever." He said. "I am sorry."

"I know you are. I just need some time to process, okay?"

"Okay, can I stay in the call with you? Or do you want to be alone for a while."

"You can stay," She said, finally letting go and letting some tears down her face. He noticed that, and his heart clenched so tightly that he forgot how to breathe for a second. "I am sorry I shouldn't be crying. I just had the worst day ever yesterday. And this, it is just so much like the nightmare I had last week. I…" She said, making him frown. She hadn't told him any of that before. "I am mad at the video, but this is the first time I can actually see you don't really like her, I know you told me that tons of times, it's just hard sometimes to put in my head. But this is so out of a fictitious movie that, wow. I don't even know." She tried to explain.

"First of all, you have every right to cry. And second, every other picture we have and video is fake, just like this one. And I felt as uncomfortable as I felt in this one every other time." He said, wishing he hadn't listened to her and had caught the plain. He knew he had fucked up badly, agreeing to that video.

"Shawn, I think I need some time." Sophia said after a while in silence.

"What… What do you mean? I thought that was what we were doing?" He asked his heartbeat, already picking up.

"Yeah, but I need some alone." She said. "I am not breaking up with you, I just need some time alone to put my emotions in the right direction again."

"Baby, I don't understand."

"I am gonna stay on my grandma's farm for a week," She said, the think about her grandma's farm was that it was like in another world. One without the internet. Shawn loved that place so much, but he always went with her since they moved in together. "It means I won't talk to you for a week. It's not really about the video is just… I…"

"What's going on, Phi?" He asked, concerned. He didn't know all that was happening in her life at that moment. Mostly because of him. She didn't want to add her problems to the plate when they already had so much going on.

"Between PRs and moving to Canada, and coming back, and writing my book. I think I lost myself at some point. And I can't find it back." Sophia tried to explain, a few more tears dropping in her face. "My anxiety is back, and I don't know how to deal with this. For some reason, I never felt so insecure about things that I am now. I just need some time, because right now I can't really see the purpose of me being a part of this world." She said honestly, she was struggling in multiple ways, and this entire PR thing was just crunching her anchoring system altogether, and even if for him she was pretending to be okay, she just wasn't for a while.

"Oh, Baby, why didn't you tell me this before?" He asked, dropping a few tears of his own.

"Didn't want to add it to your plate." She said, making him feel the worst person in the world.

"Sophia. It doesn't work like this. I know this is very fucked up and that we just need to do 2 more weeks of this mess. But I am catching an airplane now and going to see you. I promise you they will not extend this by any means." He pleaded with his eyes.

"Shawn, I need to be alone… I need time from you too." She said, making him nod and close his eyes. He knew she would at some point, and he couldn't blame her for that. He understood she also had a limit, and she was very close to it.

"When are you going?" He asked, deciding on not fighting for this one.

"Tomorrow morning," She said, and he nodded. They probably talked twice a day, so he would be lost without her calls for one week. But again, he was in no place to argue.

"Okay, I will miss you. I love you."

"I love you too," She said sniffing. "Bye"

"Wait, Princess, you are the best part of my world." He said, remembering her words, and wanting her to know that she was essential.

He looked at the phone and at their picture on the lock screen, and he just cried for some time, he was ruining the best thing he had, and over nothing.

"Andrew?" Shawn asked, confused as soon as he picked up the phone.

"Did you talk to her? Is everything okay? I am coming to your room now." Connor said, for some reason, in Andrew's phone. Before Shawn could answer, he heard the knock on the door.

"Hi"

"Hi, how was it?" Connor asked, noticing Shawn's red eyes.

"You are not gonna scream at me to make your best friend lost? I am sure you talked about it." Shawn asked, waiting for Connor to say hurtful things to him. And he would actually like for him to do that because he felt like he deserved that.

"In fact, we didn't, I tried, but she said she needed time to figure out on her own." That made Shawn feel even worse. If she was not talking to Connor either about her feelings, it meant she was not talking to anyone about it, she was all alone in that.

"She was not mad about the video, I mean she was mad, but she was also understandable. As she always is. I just think I haven't been understandable the way I should." He said, looking down.

"I think she needs you." Connor said, sitting on his bed beside him.

"I think she does too. But she just asked me to stay away for one week. I don't know what exactly should I do." Shawn said, even though inside him, he knew she was just shutting himself out to protect him.

"I think you know what you have to do, Shawn." Connor said, Calling Brian that was with Andrew and asking them to come into Shawn's room.

"Don't you think she will be mad if I show up? Like I would be breaking her trust when she asked to be alone?" Shawn asked, taking a deep breath in the end.

"I think she will at first, especially because you know how she is. She is going to think she fucked up everything, and if anything, she will be madder at herself for not taking everything a little bit longer, you know? She will also be mad because you didn't go to your studio sessions. But I am a little worried about what happens if you don't go." He said, and Shawn nodded because he was thinking the same.

"She told me her anxiety is back… did you know that?" He asked, and Connor shook is head.

"She hasn't been talking at all with me about her feelings or problems since this started. I really tried, but she always says she is fine, and she rather talks about Aurora and me." He explained.

"I really fucked up big this time."

"You did, but like I said, she really needs you. And you owe it to her to keep your head straight." Connor said, and Shawn nodded. He knew that.

Andrew entered the room after that, with Brian beside him. Shawn gave a quick look at Connor before saying what he did next.

"Andrew, I am calling off the PR." Andrew looked at him as he was pranking him, but quickly noticed he wasn't.

"What the fuck Shawn? You can't just do that, Camila's album, remember?" Andrew asked, trying to reason with him.

"Yes, I do remember. Can't we say we were in a friend with benefits relationship? I don't know. Andrew, I can't do this to her anymore." Shawn said, not really thinking about Camila's problems.

"For God's sake Shawn, of course, you can! Camila also agreed with this, remember? No one is forcing her." Andrew shouted, clearly frustrated with his entire marketing strategy going to the trash.

"I am not talking about Camila, I am talking about Sophia." Shawn explained.

"Unbelievable!" He said, clapping his hands and making Shawn turn his eyes. "She asked you to drop it? Really?" Andrew asked, shocked by Shawn's sudden lack of responsibility.

"She didn't ask me anything, I think we all know she would never do that. Because I come first for her, always."

"If she didn't ask who did?"

"I did. Like I said, I come first for her always. But I feel like I haven't been putting her first at all lately. I am actually making her life hell now. And she needs me now, and I can't do that anymore with her." Shawn said, not wanting to waste more time explaining his decisions.

"Shawn, let's talk about this before you just jump here, saying you won't do anything anymore."

"There is nothing to talk. I am not doing this anymore. I am going to spend the rest of the break-in London with my girlfriend in her grandmothers' house. No one will find me there, so don't worry about it. You will have time to release Camila's album. You can put some comments on Instagram and like her pictures. Limit the comments to mostly emojis, and don't say anything that could sound like we are really together. When I go back to the tour, I won't be doing anything for this shit anymore. Do you hear me?"

"Fucking hell Shawn, I can't believe you are doing this because your girlfriend is having some bullshit existential crisis now." Andrew shouted.

"Watch your tone when you speak about her. And to be clear, I want this, she never asked for me to do this." Shawn said. "Andrew, remember this every time you even think about PR again or any other contracts you have in mind, Sophia comes first."

"Shawn…"

"She comes first. End of discussion." Shawn walked to the door and held it opened.

"Okay, now you young men will have to listen to me. You can't just say PR is over and expect me to say nothing. Okay, you will not take any pictures together anymore, but are going to Asia and come back still dating her."

"Andrew…"

"No, Shawn, go see your precious girlfriend. I will take care of it, but I can't do miracles." He said before leaving.

"Fuck, why on earth can't I have control over my like again?!" Shawn shouted, punching the door closed.

"You know you did the right thing," Brian said.

"I know I did, just wish I had done it sooner before she…"

"I know, you fucked up. But you are a human being, and you are kinda dating the most comprehensive person ever, so she will not kill you or something like that." Brian said, trying to calm him down.

"I know that. I just need to understand what is going on with her. Because something is seriously wrong, and I can feel it inside me. And I don't like it."

"I am sure it will be okay." Connor said. "She will be fine, she just needs some time, and you," Connor added.

"Yes, I will go help her figure that out." Shawn said, going back to his phone and calling a private plane company as he wanted to avoid any kind of issue with Andrew.

- - - - - -

General Taglist: @arypesanchez @turtoix

#Shawn x Sophia #shawn mendes #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes angst #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn peter mendes #shawn mendes x oc

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