#sorry for long rant

[r0ckst4r-c0re]

for some reason, my brain has been bursting with this funny slice of life au where instead of jinshi always telling maomao that her obsession with poisons is weird, he instead slowly starts seeing the appeal. (he wouldnt go as far as to experiment on himself, he still finds that absolutely horrifying) After showing the appeal, maomao and jinshi start to form some kind of bond (?) over poisons. Basically before the romance the two have a casual friendship where they both solve mysteries (like usual in the story) and they have fun and be classic friends who make fun of goofy people in the mystery cases.

TL;DR: jinshi gets unjinshified and takes an interest in poisons. also maomao becomes friends with him

[tommysm0ondust]

I've just figured out why I hate hearing my voice on recordings.

sure, most people do because it sounds different to what they think and that's basically what it is for me too.

but

I don't only hate it in recordings, even just normally I despise it.

and I've figured out it's because it's not what my voice is like in my head.

as a trans man I imagine myself with a lower voice and then I speak or sing and it just doesn't match.

it doesn't match up with what I want it to be.

what it should be.

and the worst part is I do voice. classical voice. I'm also a soprano.

and I used to push my voice down but my voice teacher caught on and told me to stop because it affects my singing.

so I did

but that meant I couldn't make my voice sound even a little bit like what it should sound like.

and it doesn't work

listening to my favorite songs sung by guys, knowing I can't physically sing them without going an octave higher.

hearing guys talk knowing my voice won't match theirs

it's a strange thing really

but it's hard to think about

especially for someone who knows i can't go on any kind of testosterone until I'm older, since my dad doesn't know and doesn't support trans people and also it would be way too much money.

but I try not to let it bother me too much.

because I know at least at some point in the future I'll hopefully be able to get it.

and then finally my voice and everything can match who I really am.

:]

[honeypleasejustkillme]

i thought i was at my lowest but holy shit it gets lower

[zorangezest]

thanks for listening

[leandrocrossard]

something really cool happened today that i wanted to share:

my nephew is 9 years old, and a stereotypical little boy. he likes dinosaurs, minecraft, and ninjas.

today i walked in on him excitedly watching Nimona with my dad. (minor spoiler warning!)

i had never heard of it, but i sat down and watched some of it, just to see why he was so happy.

he started narrating it, anticipating parts of it, almost as if he’d seen it before. he had.

we didn’t get to finish it, but i watched it on my own, because it looked fun and i wanted to see how it ended.

and i loved it. it was a fun, exciting, fantastical adventure about the importance of acceptance people who are different to us.

and it had a very clear queer subplot.

one that my nephew hadn’t mentioned at all in his explanation of the film. his summary was “it’s about a monster who helps a knight that was framed for killing the queen”.

and honestly yeah, that is what the film was about.

before sharing it with us, he had watched it all, engrossed himself in the story, took it in entirely, and the part he cared about most was whether Nimona got her acceptance. he wasn’t indoctrinated, or confused, or questioning anything about himself.

he didn’t bat an eyelid over a gay love confession. he just enjoyed the film, raved about it, made my 60 year old dad watch the movie about the monster who didn’t fit in.

he’s still the same little boy who’s been asking us how to get a girlfriend.

the only thing a movie centred around queer and queer-coded characters taught my nephew was that those who are different to him are not monsters. that’s it.

and that dragons are really cool.

[snarkspawn]

I really enjoy playing through tnp again like hi it's been a while

[iwhoneverbelievedinwar]

(grabbing your face) do you remember simon fairchild's statement about how he became an avatar. how he fell and the sky embraced him. i think about it all the time. how it would feel to be embraced by the vast. the entity that is about how you are insignificant before the endless void, holding you. the fact that being an avatar of the vast means loving a contradiction: you are insignificant and the entity of the vastness of everything else holds you in its embrace and takes away your mortality.

i wonder if when simon told that one guy enjoy sky blue if the reason he laughed while saying it was because he was sharing his own joy. if in his own way he wasn't being generous, sharing the experience that changed him forever. i wonder if as much as he spreads terror, maybe what he really wanted was to share that experience, and that's why he picked someone who loves sky-diving, someone who was also in love with the sky.

i wonder if that guy who was eaten by the sky isn't out there now, saying the sky held him gently in the huge jaws of endless blue, and he cried with joy as he understood. if what for his mother was a horrible experience that killed her son, for him wasn't the liberation from his mortal life and worries before the realization that we are nothing.

i wonder if simon was afraid, too, before he was in love or while he was in love with it, if he can even distinguish his love for the vast from his fear from it or it's just another facet of his adoration, something he can offer to it, if when he said he loved the sky he meant it like that, like we often love a god, with fear as strong as our adoration.

[allhereincolour]

bands like one direction and 5 seconds of summer have genuinely changed people’s lives and it’s time to start putting respect on their names as bands rather than dismissing their fame because the majority of their fanbases are women <3

[anniflamma]

So I’ve received a couple of anonymous messages telling me that they were really disappointed in me for liking Elian's Antinous fanart. Instead of answering them individually, I’m just going to make an angry rant post instead. Most of if probably won't make sense anyway.

This post have talk about SA, and homophobia. Be aware. I don’t ship genuinely Telemachus and Antinous, if that’s what you’re wondering. I didn’t even consider the possibility that ship could even exist. At the end of the day, I don't care about that ship.

And do you want me to explain that I know SA is bad? Or that I’m aware Telemachus/Antinous is a toxic ship? Do you think I’m dumb and don’t know that? You don't have to explain to me either, I know that SA is bad, I have experienced it, you don't have to explain to me, trust me I know.

I like Elian's art because it’s really beautiful. Her work is a huge inspiration and encouragement for me when making animatics. But do I REALLY have to spell out, word for word, that I know Antinous is an antagonist and tries to do bad things? Does it mean every time someone draws Antinous and I like it, I have to explain that I like the drawing because it’s well done, not because I support Antinous’ intent toward Penelope and wants to kill Telemachus?

I mean, I’ve seen tons of thirsty comments like, "I hate how Zeus treats women, but your design is really hot" or "Even if Poseidon SA Demeter, this Poseidon I'd go down on all fours for!"

I have seen some stuff….

I guess I could just imitate something like that????

But I know it’s a joke and I know its a fantasy that someone is expressing. Its not real, its fictional. I know all those thirsty ppl who simp over Poseidon, Zeus, or even Antinous aren’t supporting hatred and violence toward women. And yes, I am expecting that you should already know this too. Because if we gonna assume the worst of ppl… Then everyone who likes Greek myth/Epic the musical are pro SA. "Do you like Crice from Epic the musical? That means that you support her actions, you support SA!" "Oh you like Odysseus?! He killed a baby and all of his female slaves cuz they got SA by the suitors! You support infanticide, slavery and SA!" Do you hear how dumb that sounds? To be honest, I wouldn’t be that surprised if there are some who think like this. I mean, this discussion wouldn’t even be a thing, right.

And if you don’t know, I literally make thirst art of Poseidon (and that includes Zeus and Hermes), and you don’t see it as a bad thing??? It’s Poseidon… Do you know what he has done to women in the myths?!

Im going to ramble here and I will bring up stories from greek myth that have SA in it. So be aware.

One example is the story of Caeneus. When Caeneus was a woman, his parents left him to take care of the house while they were out running errands. Poseidon took that as an opportunity to break into the house and sexually assault him. This is probably the only myth where Poseidon actually feels bad after what he did, so he grants Caeneus a wish. Aww, how sweet~~~ /sarcasm.

Do I need to give an example of Zeus? We all know what Zeus does. But hey, I’ve made Poseidon/Hermes ship art. And guess what? There’s a story where Hermes breaks a woman’s leg so she can’t run away from him, and then he sexually assaults her. Isn’t that cute~~! /sarcasm

Heck, I can even go on with my biblical ships. David/Jonathan—David, a serial assaulter and murderer, and Jonathan, a mass murderer. But do I support their actions? No, I do not support mass murder, and its really dumb that I have to spell it out for you.

Daniel/Darius is even questionable too! It's literally a king and his servant, and that power imbalance is so big I don’t know what to tell you! Do I have to spell it out that I know that, in real life, king/servant relationships aren’t cute at all?!

All of these characters that I’ve listed have done or represent horrible things. And I have to tell you that I don't support their actions?! Really? You really can't think outside the box?

But do you see what I’m trying to tell you? We can simp over other ancient mythological figures but Antinous is the red line that we can never cross??? It’s hypocritical and immature, that’s what it is.

Right now, ppl loves the Ody seduces Zeus art I made. And that "ship" is well really questionable too! But nobody have called me a witch and tries to burn me at the stake yet. 😐

And the thing is, I can separate these fictional characters from the real world. I can also separate the fictional material from other fictional interpretations. Exemple, I like The Song of Achilles, in it, they are the same age, but I am also aware that in the Iliad, Achilles is 16 and Patroclus is 26. But do I automatically assume that Madeline Miller likes teens? No! Do I assume that everyone who likes The Song Of Achilles like that shit? No!

But we still can have a disscussion about it without making it into a witch trial.

As long as we can separate different fictional materials, then everything is fine. It only becomes a problem if a person can’t separate them. Then we have a problem. I can acknowledge that my depiction of King David from the bible is not the same as from the original story and that he is horrible person towards women. If I couldn't acknowledge that, then its bad! The same goes for Antinous if someone makes an AU or headcanon about him. If someone want so make AUs about Antinous, my first thoughts isnt "Oh they like to SA ppl!". At the end of the day, this is just a group from tiktok who didn’t like a toxic ship and decided to bully an artist while acting like they have superior morals.

And I get this type of shit from christians when I make my queer bible interpitations, both from those that don't like the queer stuff but also those that points out that David and Jonathan were horrible ppl.

So I rarely answer comments like this because they usually end up spewing beliefs filled with homophobia and Islamophobia. Heck rasism sometimes, apparently, Christians don’t know that the Bible takes place in the Middle East, and they are angry at me for drawing them looking like Arabs! I just delete their comments before they gets there. Making queer biblical animatics on TikTok that go viral on the Christian side is not fun at all guys....

And hate to say it but tiktok Epic fans sound really similar. You are acting like you’re on a pedestal, holier than thou. Its just a different font.

+ I haven’t forgotten all those homophobic comments I got on my David/Jonathan animatic that I posted right after my Ruthlessness animatic. Epic fans were saying they didn’t want “that gay shit” and wanted to see more Epic stuff. Hate to break it to you all, but the Epic fandom isn’t that innocent.

[sob3rdeath]

mdni, please! +18 content ahead. ♡

cw: hate fucking, degradation, spitting, face slapping (only one time tho), soft!toji at the end

hate sex with toji :( he's such a meanie as he fucks you rapidly and angrily, pulling out right when you're about to cum :( and don't even think about complaining. "fucking whiny bitch." he speaks through his gritted teeth. "you're always used to getting everything you want, hm? not with me."

his big hand holds your jaw as he demands you open your mouth, spitting on it and making you swallow. he doesn't gives you space to try to bring up why you were arguing earlier. "shut the fuck up." he looks so angry and impatient, this time he makes sure to fuck you until you cum, making you brain dead so you can't talk back, all that ranting is making his head fucking hurt. and when you cum on his cock for the like, 5th time, he has a shit eating grin on his face, mumbling mean things in your ear. "can't talk back? tell me. talk to me. who's in charge now?" and he slaps your face when you don't answer, punctuating his words with deep, strong trusts. "when i speak to you i expect you to fucking answer me." and his grin only widens when you scream his name. "i-i'm sorry, toji. i'm sorry." and that's what he wants to hear. what he needs to hear to slow down and make sweet love to you, so you can't even recognise the man that was fucking you with so much anger.

dividers by aquazero.

[sevengoodusesofacadaver]

That scene in season 16 where Emily says “I’m giving him what he wants, Mommy” is all fun and games bc Prentiss calling herself mommy is just… so on the nose. But it’s also so much deeper than that.

When she was fairly new to the team, she was almost always the one they would use if someone had to seduce/attract an unsub. Even when she didn’t want to (in ‘52 Pickup’ when the boys all look at her expectantly and she says ‘oh, this is really gonna suck’). She didn’t want to do it but she knew their best chance of catching the guy was if she used herself as bait. She even puts herself in danger in that one bar scene in a different episode. Basically, the team expected her to use her looks and flirt with dangerous men.

Then, flashback to her days as Lauren Reynolds… I don’t even need to get into all of that because we all know how much that cost her mentally and psychologically. And then you have Derek essentially slutshaming her for it, even though the team expects that of her when it’s to their benefit.

Even if you want to take it further, when she was 15 she felt she had to sleep with someone to feel accepted, again using her body as a tool to please others. It’s something she’s been taught to do from a very young age, and was consistently reinforced throughout her career.

So yeah, I get why it felt like the natural next step during that interrogation. Without even thinking about it that hard she just starts unbuttoning her blouse and making herself more attractive to get information out of the suspect. I honestly think Douglas Bailey was the first man to ever tell her not to do it.

[r0ckst4r-c0re]

so like I was listening to this rachie cover and made up this AU where Maria sings to Shadow in his dreams every night. Then over time Shadow becomes accustomed to life on earth so much so that he begins to FORGET about Maria… (very big emphasis on the AU part of this..) Maria senses this because when Shadow forgets about Maria she starts fading and it gets harder for her to sing. While Maria really wants to keep singing for Shadow, she has to choose between continuing to sing for him with all the aching pain she has or let him go and forget her completely… which would also mean that Maria technically “dies” all over again.

[adragonthatwrites]

I feel like we don't give Binghe enough credit, at least in regards to squaring him up against Bingge.

It seems like people will see that Binghe is more open with his emotions (being willing to cry, pout, smile, laugh etc.) and call him 'soft' or even 'weak' in comparison to Bingge.

It's like people forget; Binghe was actually formally trained by his Shizun and peak, something Bingge wasn't. He also went through the same challenges in the endless abyss, but overcame them much faster; years faster in fact! And he possesses the same level of strength and skill.

Remember, when they met in the extra, they were perfectly matched; neither able to beat the other. And the moment Shen Qingqiu stepped in; the instant even a little bit of outside interference got involved in Binghe's favor, he won.

It didn't take much for Binghe to ultimately win that fight; just one extra person to tip the scales in his favor, and he had Bingge beat.

He's as strong, capable and deadly as Bingge, and I'd even argue he's stronger; not physically, but simply because he has a lot more worth fighting for.

You fight harder, more viciously, and for longer when you have something worth fighting for, and because of that I honestly think Binghe would ultimately win in a one-on-one against his counterpart. He's not weak because he cries; I'd even say he's stronger because of it.

[kiwinatorwaffles]

the pushback against the discord mobile update shouldn’t be based upon “if you can get used to it” or not. some people might like it. some people might get used to it faster. but a lot of people won’t. and the point of the pushback is that discord keeps thinking they can change this shit and get away with it.

nobody asked for discord to change its color to a brighter blue. remember that? we all got used to it. but that was one of the first instances of the userbase just tolerating a useless change.

later came the dreaded username change. nobody asked for that. in fact, it caused a fuck ton of trouble. remember the markipkier username situation? yeah. but we all just “got used to it.” i don’t hear anyone talking about it anymore. we moved on, even though it really fucking sucked.

now it’s a complete overhaul of the mobile app that removed pretty much everything people liked about discord in the first place. removing the right swipe to see members and pins just made everything clunky and slow. the swipe to reply they replaced it with doesn’t even work all the time. the nice and cozy gray is now colder and darker, which would be fine, but there’s literally a midnight mode that they just released out of beta after 7 years. (edit: i actually used the app for a little more and realized just how fucking hard it was to read anything with the new contrast. it's a genuine accessibility issue. jesus)

they removed the community. want to see which friends are online? fuck you! click the top of the channel that is much slower and cumbersome than just swiping! want to see the funny and/or important messages you pinned? too bad, because we’re cutting off longer messages and hiding links/images that were attached to the message. and also, you can’t see who sent the message in a dm or group chat. also^2, you have to click into the channel and click into ANOTHER tab to even access the pins. fuck you.

regardless of if you like the changes or not, the point of protesting isn’t due to personal preference. it’s that discord keeps thinking they can change this shit that nobody wanted and get away with it. staying complacent will just let them know they can roll out changes and their userbase will still stick around, even if they hate it. which is not true. because users (including my friends and i) and even NITRO USERS are considering jumping ship to alternatives that don’t hate its userbase.

don’t let discord think it’s invincible. send feedback (go to settings and appearance, and there will be a button), even if it’s likely they won’t read it. review them in the app store. if there’s enough genuine feedback that outlines the faults and focuses on the performance and usability of the app, there’s a chance they might change Some things. because we don’t WANT to move and leave all our friends and communities, but a lot of us will have to if the situation gets worse.

the best case scenario is that they let us choose the format we want, but considering that this is discord we’re talking about, i don’t think it will. the least we can do now is to make sure at least some things get changed back for accessibility and convenience.

[fairyoctopus]

yknow at first i didnt care abt all the people whining abt the new breed but now its like. pissing me off really bad lol

its honestly so telling that people are saying they wanted something "elegant" instead... like, what about these cant be elegant? hm? surely you wouldnt imply that something fat cant be elegant, right??? hrmm

they very easily can look so elegant, honestly. and i also dont get the "well they dont fit the aesthetic of light" bc like. how the hell does coatl look like fire?? how does veilspun look like shadow?! what are you even on about lol

it also just depends on the colors/genes they have, too. i think (despite me not making either light element whoops) both of the above look pretty light aligned.

there's plenty of criticism ive seen that i think is reasonable and i do agree with, of course. i think their legs could be a bit thicker, personally.

now, im not antagonizing people for simply not liking the design. if its not your thing, thats fine. you dont have to like EVERYTHING flight rising does, that would be a weird expectation to have.

but, man. there's like 20 other breeds that arent fat, 2 other that belong to light that arent fat!! you can let us have this, you'll be fine lmao.

i even saw one person imply that the designs felt weird abt fat bellies like it was... perverted or something. why???? just because its fat???

sorry. im just so tired of people trying to pick apart something bc its outside of what they're comfortable with. being fat my whole life ive had to hear abt how im not beautiful/elegant/etc because im fat and some people are reopening those old wounds.

[gemsofthegalaxy]

I really do love Evan and Sam together as a romantic couple because their whole deals are so very opposite but also so similar.

Sam, she's so charming and charismatic, it makes sense that in the first season she ends up dating this jock and she gets along well with him (although I believe Fergus has some dorkiness to him, too, lol). But it's revealed in the second season her self-esteem is very low and she's now hung up on the idea that it isn't her natural charm and kindness, but the fact that she's been using magic which means everyone is fake. She can't trust people's good opinions of her. It's very "you love me at my Sam Black, at my Sam Britian, but can you handle me at Sam Bulter?" what happens when she's not charming, or accommodating, when she has a bad day. There's also a certain degree with Sam seeing herself as nothing but her charms, she doesn't think she's particularly capable or smart outside of her kindness, which is why it's so amazing that Danielle selected the mind track for her to get better in and Sam insisted she just felt a Connection to the magic of knowledge, rather than charm. It's amazing how charming and kind she is, but she doesn't want that to be all she is.

Evan was always so insecure over being so weird, so it makes sense he ended up with K at first, who is also a certified weirdoTM and he gets sort of insecure about where he stands with Jammer because Jammer starts out just so normal. Evan feels threatened at least a bit by Jammer's friends, thinking he can't fit in with them, and he also says the same thing with Sam to a degree being like "Well I wouldn't want to freak out Ariana Grande" (As Sam points out, Ari is also a freak tho so >_> yknow). But during the adventure, sort of like Danielle, Brennan decided to go with the magnetism/charisma stat to increase because he felt like Evan was starting to truly just accept himself. Take him or leave him, that's Evan Kelmp, he's the haunted white guy and his friends love him and you might love him too if the two of you click but he's not gonna be worrying about that all the time to the point he's sick every day. Still, Evan does struggle about being wanted and he's able to communicate that to Sam, you know, blanket invitations don't work for him but she says no, for real, I would spend day after day with you. I'll cook you food, not just a generic invite, please actually come over. And he's so excited about that, it's adorable. That's an aside, anywayy.

I have liked Evan and Sam together since season 1, I always felt that she cared about him not only in the way she generally cares about people but she just, really clicked with Evan in a way that may seem funny to onlookers because of the aforementioned "pretty, popular girl who gets the jocks, befriending straight up haunted weirdo". But, as I outlined above, they have more insecurity in common because both of them understand why people like them when they're useful/kind/etc but doubt if people will truly love the real them, or them when they're going through tough moments.

And over the course of S2 it was sooo clear that Brennan meant for Evan to be crushing on Sam. He loves her so, so much. He really admires all of his friends and he also thinks the world of Jammer, too, to be fair, but Evan is sincerely endlessly impressed with Sam and everything she does. He acts like she hung the moon in the sky. I truly do think that Evan would be happy just to see her be happy, his love for her is very pure and he'd be okay if it weren't romantic as long as she still wanted him around and cared about their friendship- but I think he's in love with her, and knows that somewhat early in the adventure.

Because Evan is so sincere, thinks Sam is so cool and so good, it gets across that he truly means it. He doesn't just see Sam Britian and care about her fame. That's cool, too, but he would love her no matter what her job is. He truly loves Sam for Sam and she believes him, and loves him back, and even if she could be dating some celebrity (which she could, easily) she chooses to be with Evan instead. And in that choice, Evan knows she loves him for him, too, because why else would she choose that?

i just. love them so much you guys.