#i have no other way to show how joyful this season has made me

[mirrored-lipstick-obituary]

gjoing fucking insane over mumbo's new video like goth mumbo and punk babe mumbo were funny of course but the work he's put into his town??? he has a lesbian couple!! jill and bill!!! the auction and the juggling and people on stairs and people having conversations !! the details and interactions !!! god his town is so beautiful and diverse and it's amazing to see him so happy with it because it is realky beautiful and full of life !! i'm so incredibly normal about this "small" build he's made (small relative to others) and i love the fact that he's branched off into narrative building because it plays into his strengths as a film maker !! it's beautiful and amazing and i'm here for it

[fatcatlittlebox]

I’ve made a few edits about the theme of horses in TROP and I thought it was a good time to write a meta about it. It recurs especially in season 1 and a bit in season 2. The reason why it is less prevalent this past season is because there is a close association with Galadriel and Halbrand’s relationship.

In season 1, Galadriel and Halbrand were both adrift when they meet each other. But there was an upside to being presumed dead and exiled. They were free. None of the restrictions of social expectations, rivalries and even leadership to confine to. Sauron calls Numenor a “paradise ripe with opportunity.” Part of it is because he sees societal vulnerabilities that could be taken advantage of, part of it is the potential for reinventing themselves or at the very least, correcting the mistakes and miscalculations of the past. It is a return to innocence, in a way. You see them present, allowing themselves to feel their emotions in a way they didn’t have the luxury of doing before. And they get to explore all of that “newness” with each other. The initial Biblical symbolism here reminds me of Adam and Eve. As the story unfolds though, the Adam figure (in this case Halbrand) becomes the serpent (serpents are used often too but that’s another analysis). But when Galadriel really comes alive is when you see her ride.

This is the first time you see Galadriel on a horse and she is joyful, unguarded and free. This is her spirit. And Halbrand, despite never having seen her ride yet, associates her with a horse because he tapped into this feeling. He has seen it in her soul. For the rest of the story this theme will resurface.

We later see Halbrand and Galadriel traverse Middle Earth on horses. It’s not simply a practical point. This is something they share: "I felt it too." And they are galloping. Always. This is part of his implied promise to her: that she can always feel this way. With him — an unbridled, heedless rush of power and purpose. The peace of constant running, constant fighting. She cannot stop. And he will be at her side.

When she thanks him for “pulling [her] back,” it is meant to recall the bond between them. But in this instance, that thread is reining in the other’s self-destructiveness as if that fire were a runaway horse. They each believe the other would hold them true: “See what happens when you stop galloping and you give yourself a moment to think?” These words left their mark in Galadriel and will continue to reverberate in different ways, unexpectedly.

Season 2 is dramatically different. Galadriel is not shown riding a horse at all, with 2 key exceptions. In the very first shot that reintroduces her, she is in a horse chase with Elrond. This is very much meant to reestablish a key aspect of Galadriel’s spirit, but also look at her face.

It is frenzied and fiery. It's meant to show the lingering effects of Sauron’s influence on Galadriel like she’s hungover from the intoxication. This is confirmed later when Elrond compares her to a horse, recalling their spiritual intimacy and perhaps suggesting a physical one. And as this shot implies, that “he never left.” Elrond is seen here, trying to lead her back to the light.

For the rest of her journey and the rest of the season, she travels on foot. Not out of preference, but because she is in the company of Elrond. He is cautious, methodical. Intent on not drawing attention and because he values reconnaissance and observation as much as action. This is not how Galadriel operates and it becomes symbolic of the tension in their friendship. She acquiesces for the greater good. She respects her friend, but ultimately she will do what she must if it will bring her closer to her end goal: facing Sauron.

But when she sees the opportunity to break apart from the pack, she takes it and takes charge. What is the first thing she does then? LOL she takes a horse! Her horse is on literally on fire. What a visual.

It is brave, but rash and reckless. Her headstrong belief in her own righteousness keeps driving her to isolation, to stand alone. And that is how fundamentally different Elrond and Galadriel view the world at this point. Galadriel is always thinking of the bigger picture, the greater war. She says to Halbrand as much: "You leapt into the sea to save one life. I seek to save many." This is not too far off from something Sauron would cosign and part of the reason he gravitated to her so naturally. He is also a "bigger picture" thinker, or so he believes. He would break the world to remake it. Galadriel is always thinking of the war and much less the human (or elven) cost. And it’s not because they hold no value. It’s because in her mind, there is no nobler sacrifice. She doesn't think twice at offering her own blood, her body and even her soul if it would serve the greater good.

Horses continue to play a significant role in the ensuing battle when Elrond leads the charge against Adar. A whole mounted host is galloping full force and is about to unleash upon the orcs until Elrond sees Galadriel. In that brief moment, he halts his horse. Despite their plans, their momentum, and the emotions of battle, he makes a decision that one life, the life of his friend, would turn the tide. And Saurons advice from the past looms over this moment: "See what happens when you stop galloping and you give yourself a moment to think?" Is this merely a callback or did Sauron know? For this moment is so very important because it legitimizes Elrond in the eyes of the orcs as a leader who values the lives of his kin. The first seed here is planted. That's why later, during their parley when Elrond remarks that their conflict will result in the deaths of countless orcs, his observation is authenticated by his previous act. What Adar had interpreted as a weakness of Elrond is reversed as a weapon. He is sowing the seeds of doubt and resentment. It's interesting how far Sauron's words echo even in the actions of those who are the furthest away from his shadow. Is it because this is his design and the labyrinth is that all-encompassing? Or is he simply able to navigate people's desires, hate, dreams and fears so well that it becomes like a map laid out before him. He simply knows where to step at the right time and place.

[didishawn]

Little Messi (Pedri x Messi! Reader)

Warnings: reader is Messi's little sister, Lionel Messi is a professional matchmaker, lots of Spanish, mentions of Lionel Andrés Messi Cuccitini being the best football player because he is

Masterlist

Leo lately has been having thoughts about you, his little sister, with one of his teammates, Pedri, he can't help but think you two would somehow match together.

Pedri is a simple guy, nothing, wrong with it, Leo himself is too, honest, kind, great at what he does and a true Barça lover.

You are his little sister who he loves so much, the one he practically raised really, being so much younger than your other siblings and your parents being very busy with Leo's career, Leo most of the times took it into his hands to keep an eye on you, the internet is full of photos of him carrying you into matches from a very young age. You were truly Leo's first experience raising someone, there were those who even said you were actually his secret love child who he had at an extremely young age so they passed you off as a sister, lies of course, but it's not surprising there were those who believed it.

Pedri has recently joined the team, and you two, just seemed to hit it off fair quickly, something that Leo inmediatly became aware of. He knows you two are friends, but there is this part of him, telling him you two could be much more, and doesn't matter how much Antonella tells him to shut up the idea, he soon becomes your personal matchmaker without telling you.

It starts pretty simple, making you two encounter one another.

"Vení con los chicos y conmigo, así haces compañía a Pedri, que creo le cuesta un poco estarse cómodo conmigo y los pibes siendo el nuevo" he tells you one day, and of course you agree because Pedri and the rest are pretty nice, honestly most of the older players have taken you in as if you were their little sister and not Leo's. (come with me and the guys, so you can keep Pedri company, I think it's difficult for him to be comfortable with us being the new guy)

You honestly are suspicious of how much Leo smiles the entire evening and of Antonella giving him an annoyed look, as if he had done something wrong, yet you have no idea what.

You had fun honestly, Pedri is sweet, easy to have a conversation with once you break his shell, the other players tease him all the time, yet never say outright what the teasing is all about, but you do see the sneaky looks they give your way, yet decide to ignore them.

You don't see Pedri in a while, being a year younger than him, you are busy after entering 2nd of Bachillerato (Spanish last school year before university) and Pedri with training and getting to know Barcelona. One day you are laying around doing nothing, your brother approaches you out of nowhere, sneaky glint in his eye, trying to force down a smirk.

"Che, ¿me harías un favor?" (hey, will you do me a favor)

"Depende" (depends)

"Te quería pedir si podrías salir con Pedri, enseñarle un poco la ciudad, el pobre pibe todavía no se acostumbra" (I wanted to ask you if you could go out with Pedri, show him around the city, the poor guy doesn't get used yet)

"¿Y por qué no vas vos?" (and why don't you go?)

"Yo supongo él preferirá ir con vos que son más o menos de la misma edad" (I suppose he will prefer to go with you as you are the same age)

You end up agreeing, have a great time too, but are surprised to see Pedri knows all the places you took him to after your brother had made it sound like he had no idea. When you arrive home, he is looking expectant to see your expression, Antonella rolling her eyes besides him, after you tell him you had a great time and leave towards your room, you swear you can hear him let out a joyful noise, but decide to ignore him.

Every new season means a new shirt for the players to use during matches, and as always, Leo promises to bring you, the kids and Anto some for you all to wear, the number 10 and "Messi" on the back to show off your support for the greatest football player there is and ever will be.

He enters your room one random day to give you yours, you are too distracted by homework to check it out, but promise to do it later, you miss the way he pouts, as if he wanted to see your reaction over something.

You finish a couple hours later, the shirt almost forgotten before the bright red and blue colors catch your eye. You pick it up to examine it, it's not you favorite but it looks just fine, you turn it, expecting to see your brother's name and number on it but freeze as you realise there must have been a confusion.

A big 16 with the name Pedri on the top, you run down the stairs to inform your brother of the mistake, yet he has a sneaky smirk as he too checks the shirt out.

"Bueno, digo yo no pasará nada si la usas para un partido o dos. Incluso le podrá dar ánimos al pibe" (well, I don't think anything will happen if you use it to a match or two. Plus, it might cheer up the guy)

Leo promises to ask for another shirt for you (he doesn't mention his closet to be full of them and you don't remember it either, Antonella doesn't say anything, she wants to see for how long her husband will play matchmaker), he will take some time before giving it to you though, he is getting tired of all this, and wants Pedri to be his brother in law as soon as possible.

His plan, surprising or not, has been working out, many times you leave the house talking about going out with Pedri to do god knows what, he hears you two talk until late night hours, and he has heard some of the guys of the team teasing the Canarian about some girl he is crushing on-he really hopes you are the girl or everything will have been a great waste of time.

On the next match, you show up wearing the new shirt, you can feel the whispers behind your back about the unusual number 16 you are showing off, but do your best to ignore them.

Barça wins, a good ending for a long match after a hard season on the players, too far away from better times. You, the kids and Anto wait for Leo among the rest of the families when a boy approaches you, you recognise him as Fer, Pedri's brother from photos the midfielder has shown you.

"Buen partido, ¿no?" (good match, right?)

"Casi me da algo viéndolo" (I almost had a stroke from watching)

"Bonita camiseta por cierto" (nice shirt by the way)

You roll your eyes "Leo es un gil y me dio una que no era. Boludo, no quiero ni saber que se inventaran" (Leo is an idiot and gave me a wrong one. I don't even want to know what people will say)

"Pedri González, del máximo admirador de Messi, a salir con su hermana pequeña" (from Messi's greatest fan, to dating his little sister)

Leo frowns as he watches you laughing with the wrong brother as he walks out alongside Pedri and Piqué, he hits the later with his elbow and signals Pedri with his head, the younger boy seems to have noticed you and his brother too, as he too frowns, a saddened look in his face. Piqué clears his throat.

"¿Viste la camiseta que lleva y/n hoy?" (did you see the shirt y/n is wearing today)

The midfielder shakes his head, his eyes don't leave you figure.

"Che, yo también me fije" (hey, I noticed too)

"¿De qué hablan?" (what are you talking about?)

"Posta me parece que en la parte de atrás hay un 16, eh. Yo que vos chequearia" (I seriously think there is a 16 on the back. If I were you I would check it out)

Piqué nods, and the two watch as the boy approaches you. "¿Desde cuando haces de cupido?" (since when do you play cupid)

"Me tengo que entretener con algo, pelotudo" (I have to entertain myself with something, asshole)

Leo watches from his spot as both you and Pedri blush from whatever you are chatting about. The same behaviour goes on for the rest of the night, sneaky conversations in between you both that he unfortunately can't reach to hear. He pretends to not notice when you two dissappear sometime during the night.

He definitely doesn't squeal under Antonella's amused gaze at the end of the night, when you tell him how you and Pedri kissed and how the midfielder has asked you out for a date.

That night, when your brother is faraway from your room, you pick up Pedri's call.

"¿No deberíamos decirle que él no hizo nada, sino que ya estábamos saliendo?" (shouldn't we tell him that he didn't do anything and we were, already dating)

You shake your head "Naa, déjalo disfrutar al pobre chavon, que en verdad le gusta todo esto de ser casamentero" (noo, let the poor guy enjoy himself, he actually likes this whole matchmaker thing)

You don't think you will ever tell Leo the truth, let him think it was all thanks to him, when in fact you two have been together from the start and found it quite amusing how he played the fool with all these weird coincidences to get you two to become closer. It was time to let him in into your love though, let him know how much you actually like Pedri and he, you.

Unfortunately, after things become official, Leo becomes the most obnoxious, annoying, older brother the world has seen. But that is a story for another time.

[feastingonchrist]

you guys it was maybe a month ago i was SOBBING to God, not once but twice that week because i was struggling terribly with my social skills and feeling so insecure and embarrassed. to now in the past weeks i have felt so much more confident while talking to people, even people at work i barely even know and multiple people have told me they can see my personality coming through/i'm like a new person. that has blown me away!!! He is literally bringing me to life. ALL I DID WAS BEGIN GOING TO CHURCH AND ALL OF THESE THINGS HAVE BEEN POURED OUT UPON ME! i decided to try and not overthink how i'm coming across and what i'm going to say and it's released the pressure off of me. i've surrendered that to God to handle because i didn't want to deal with it anymore and He has been taking care of it so fast. my confidence has grown so much in the shortest amount of time ever in my life. like He really meets me in the darkest places and soon after begins to move and renews my mind and Spirit and attitude and perspective on things. He has been in the process of helping me move through fear as i walk into it but continues to deliver me out of it into a better place. He is helping me with my endurance and it's made me to trust in Him in deeper ways. i've begun delighting in Him with tenderness and am soaking in His peace and it's been grounding. like i've entered a new layer of peace with Him and my gosh it's so gentle and tangible and i just want to stay there forever in that Presence sometimes. my spiritual discipline isn't the greatest at times and He's getting me there (Psalm 23:1-2 moment.) But my goodness it's wild to have gone from believing in Christ but not putting my faith to action to now doing exactly that and i have just been receiving blessing after blessing - whether it's spiritual (seeing grace everywhere) or relational (just people loving me like Jesus or enjoying my job and adoring going to church and talking to people every week as i practice my social skills.) I say this all the time "idk why all of a sudden He's decided to start blessing me in these ways and what did i do to deserve it?" i know i did nothing and that He has always loved me right where i'm at but it's interesting as i follow the patterns of these past few months and i can't help but wonder if it's all because i have been taking steps of faith into the unknown and it's tested my trust in Him and endurance in those "dim mirrors" as Paul would say which has brought me into closer communion with Christ and i've been able to "see more clearly" and understand things on a deeper spiritual level. idk but ugh HE IS SO GOOD I AM CONSTANTLY TOUCHED AND HE IS JUST DOING GREAT THINGS WITHIN ME AND THE OTHERS AROUND ME. I wish i could talk ab these things without sounding repetitive but i swear He is doing these things and having me learn them/lessons over and over again to show me that i can trust Him and work things out of me to bring the new in. i really do love Him so much my gosh i really do. This is the best season of my entire walk with Him since i got saved in 2021 nearly 4 whole yrs ago and i am trying to soak it all in and even process it!!!! so i share all of this on here bc it's a lil diary for me, i love to share what He's doing for me to show others He can do it for anyone and i want to give hope to others with my testimonies. i have had so many of these recently and it's made me so joyful 🥹

[warningsine]

We Are Lady Parts, a British series about an introverted engineering Ph.D. student who is roped into playing the guitar for a local all-women Muslim punk band known as Lady Parts, was one of the most delightful and original television debuts of 2021. Its absence these past three years has been deeply felt—but luckily, Lady Parts is now back onstage, returning with a second season of antics and self-discovery, streaming on Peacock (in the U.S.) and Channel 4 (in the U.K.).

Music has always played a major role in the series thanks to Nida Manzoor, We Are Lady Parts’ showrunner and creator, who, alongside her siblings, also writes and supervises the music for the show. Season 1 blessed us with original songs like “Bashir With the Good Beard” and “Voldemort Under My Headscarf.” Not only are there some great new additions in the second season—from “Malala Made Me Do It” to “Villain Era”—but the music this time around boasts both a tighter sound and a stronger voice. There are even some standout covers, like a stunning punk take on Britney Spears in Episode 3. Slate chatted with Manzoor to discuss We Are Lady Parts’ musical evolution, a surprise (and instantly iconic) cameo, and how we can pay homage to the trailblazers who came before us. This conversation has been condensed and edited for clarity.

Slate: While music has always been the central impetus of the show, it seems to drive even more of the plot this season. After establishing themselves and growing a fan base, the members of Lady Parts are trying to make the band a real deal by recording a debut record. This means that you got to play with the music a bit more this season. For example, there are a few more cheeky covers in there. What was your intention with writing and supervising the music this season?

Nida Manzoor: Music is at the heart of the show. It’s the heart of Season 1, and I had such a joyful experience writing the songs with my brother and sister. For Season 2, I wanted to challenge us, and thereby challenge the band. I wanted the songs to be more complex. I brought in my collaborators more on a ground level. All I came with were song titles and styles. I wanted to do a Western-sounding song called “Malala Made Me Do It” because I wanted to see the band just be silly and go different places. With the song “Glass Ceiling Feeling,” which comes later on in the show, I wanted to see the band feel like they’ve evolved from Season 1. Moving away from their traditional punk songs and seeing them explore different ways of expressing themselves was really exciting to me.

Let’s talk about “Malala Made Me Do It.” The sentiment sort of reads as an alternative to the mantra “What would Jesus do?” in so many clever ways. How did this idea come about? What does “Malala made me do it” mean to you?

“Malala Made Me Do It” was one of the first ideas I even had for Season 2, before I had any other deeper story ideas. And then, as I was writing the script with Bisma’s story arc, where we see her being challenged as a mother with her daughter moving into adolescence, I wanted to explore this idea of motherhood and her tension through the song. But with the song itself, I was like, “It’s just going to be a Malala hype track. I want it to celebrate this incredible woman who’s done so much real, meaningful work for girls and women.”

I must spoil this moment for readers because I have to ask about Malala’s cameo in the show during the fantasized music video for “Malala Made Me Do It.” What was your pitch to Malala to get her on the show? 

Initially, I had no intention to reach out to Malala. I was like, “She’s not going to want to be in the show. She’s a very serious person in the world.” But then I went to a talk of hers, and she was expressing her love of comedy, and she had this incredible dark sense of humor, this great wit. And I’m like, “Maybe I have a chance for Malala to be in the show.” So I wrote her a long letter of why I’d love her to be in the show and how I think she’s an inspiration, and sensing her love of comedy really emboldened me to do that.

She was immediately like, “Yeah, let’s do this,” and was so chill, so kind and gracious on the day. So full of love, so easy to work with. I feel like there’s a lot of reverence around her, but she’s a woman in her 20s—she contains multitudes. She does a lot of meaningful, serious work, but she’s also a really fun, joyful person. I really wanted to celebrate that.

Speaking of celebrating women, one of the focal storylines in the season, with the character of Sister Squire, explores what it means to pay homage to those who have come before you by doing something meaningful with the space that they’ve created. Who are some of your inspirations that you tried to honor with this show, particularly with Season 2?

One person for me is the actor who plays Sister Squire, Meera Syal. She is a comedy legend and hero of mine. She co-created a sketch show called Goodness Gracious Me, which is all about the South Asian experience. It was so witty. The show was so inspiring because it was impressive, it was cool, it was edgy. It made me, as a young brown girl, feel cool. To get to have her play Saira’s hero in the show was honestly a dream come true. Between working with her and Malala, I was like, “I can retire now.”

In terms of women in punk specifically, there’s the singer of the band X-Ray Spex, Poly Styrene. She was a woman of color in punk in the ’70s. It was just so rare. Her music really talks about identity, self-expression, these really meaningful feminist themes. It’s so contemporary, yet she was writing this stuff in the ’70s with such a playful tongue-in-cheek vibe. She’s been a hero and inspiration as well, making the show.

I want to talk about the covers this season. You cover three of my favorite songs: “The Reason,” by Hoobastank; “More Than Words,” by Extreme; and then, of course, “Oops!…I Did It Again,” by Britney Spears. How did you decide what songs to cover? 

I knew I wanted to do a Britney cover. I am a millennial, I came up at a time when Britney was just everything and a goddess and a queen and so much a part of my childhood. Getting to do a cover of her song, but in a punk way, was just joyful. I think it was one of the most fun days to shoot on set because we felt like we were getting to perform such a brilliant and iconic song, but also making it Lady Parts, in those iconic costumes with their suits. Even now, when I rewatch the show and when I was working in the edit, just watching the Britney performance was my favorite thing. It was everything.

Hoobastank, “The Reason,” it’s just that classic early 2000s, very cheesy, but still such a great tune. It was so fun to get to honor that song and that band because they were such a formative part of my childhood. It was something my sister suggested. We were initially going to write an original that Amina sings to Ahsan. She’s like, “Oh, it should sound like Hoobastank’s ‘The Reason.’ ” I’m like, “Wait, Hoobastank’s ‘The Reason’ is perfect. Why don’t we just try and get that song?” Because it’s nostalgic and brilliantly cheesy and it’s perfect for the rom-com storyline. So that was a no-brainer.

Oh my God, do you remember the music video for “More Than Words”? Black and white and the two of those guys with their long hair and guitar. Again, such an iconic moment growing up. That song was so phenomenal. So much of making Lady Parts is an excuse to just bring in all the music I loved growing up, and that was one of those songs that I would watch the music video for and just sing along to. Me and my siblings would sing those harmonies. So, again, it was like, “Oh, I love this song. Can I have it in my show?” It’s such a romantic song, and having Amina and Billy play that and sing that to each other was perfect for the story.

Throughout Season 1, music was a way for the members of Lady Parts to get what they really wanted, whether it was control or creative agency or freedom from self-imposed religious ideals and traditions. Would you say that it still serves the same purpose this season, or does it function slightly differently?

I hadn’t thought of that. I definitely wanted the music of Season 2 to feel like an evolution. I still think music is a way that we see the characters express themselves and express their frustration with how they feel they’re boxed in and limited. With a song like “Glass Ceiling Feeling” or “Villain Era,” it’s that traditional pop-punk sound, but what was new and different was that it was Amina leading that song, so you got to see her really enter her villain era and lead it. “Malala Made Made Me Do It,” for me, was a big move away from Season 1. I was like, “What if Lady Parts did a Western?” It was just trying to push and evolve the music from Season 1, but, in much the same way, I wanted the songs to feel organic, coming out of the storyline and the truth of the characters and grounding it in their experiences.

We wanted the songs to be fun, but we wanted them to also evolve from Season 1 in terms of style and complexity. All the songs are much more difficult to play in Season 2. The actors really upped their game because the songs are faster, they’re more intricate, there were more harmonies in them, so there was a level of difficulty that was much higher this season. But I think, in many ways, the songs operate in a similar vein of allowing the characters to express themselves through music.

[copiouscouples]

Just an Off-Tangent Ramble

I really enjoyed season 2 especially in the first half. In my opinion, it’s better than season 1. What kept it from being a top-tier season for me was the absolute momentum killer of watching Edwina decide to crap or get off the pot. We didn’t need that. 

Then, there was also the lack of sexy times pay off. For some less thirsty than I, the garden scene hit the spot and to those people I say, congratulations for not being a thirsty hoe. But I needed all that passion and longing and pent-up frustration to culminate in a beautiful, passionate, romantic steamy scene. And it just didn’t happen.

My Theories as to Why Season 2 Had Sexy Times Slim Pickins:

The Powers That Be were trying to go a different direction and see if the audience would be ok with less sexy times. (We were not OK.)

The actors weren’t comfortable doing those type of scenes. That’s a valid reason. Just because you’re an actor doesn’t mean you should have to do something that makes you uncomfortable.

When it came to editing, the scenes didn’t look good and so were cut. I had heard that they’d filmed a lot of sexy time scenes that never made it into the show - if that’s true - not sure why. Nicola was talking about how they did the kissing scenes and what felt good didn’t always look the prettiest so maybe some of the Kanthony scenes didn’t meet the aesthetic.

When it comes to Jonathan Bailey, he is very boisterous and great at showing passion and humor. I was impressed with his physical humor in the falling in the water scene. That’s not an easy scene to do. He is the perfect pick for Anthony.

That said, he can only do roles like Anthony. I don’t think he could do a believable soft boy Colin like I don’t feel like Luke N could do an Anthony. They just bring different things to the table acting wise. And I’m glad for that diversity.

I feel like Luke has shown that you don’t have to yell to show passion and desire. You can communicate it in soft boy ways like looking longingly and following the girl you love around like a puppy dog and having a one-sided beef with another man.

And when Colin does yell, people pay attention. Eloise was so completely taken aback by his anger that she apologized like at two different points afterwards. I think that’s what is gonna make that one scene so 🔥 because he’s driven beyond his breaking point that he has to raise his voice.

Like we’re never going to get soft, earnest, endearing moments from Anthony. But we are for sure getting them from Colin. We got the “I want to tear your clothes off” (except they didn’t, BOO!) passion from Anthony and Kate. Now, we get the whole let’s be so besotted with each other that we go too far and then giggle afterwards. 

Kate and Anthony had angry, frustrated passion. Colin and Penelope have joyful passion.

The Colin and Penelope of it all just feels more real and authentic to how a lot of relationships are. I also kind of love the awkwardness of their new beginning.

And those steamy scenes! Season 3 has won hands down with just that carriage scene alone. It was so much better than anything we got in Season 2. I think a huge part of it is the willingness of the actors to be vulnerable and commit 100%. Nicola in particular especially.  Kissing and pretend humping is one thing, but boob touches/kisses. If I had a say, I would probably not let a fellow actor do those things. I’m glad she was OK with it because it made that scene HOT. 

And this is subjective, but they’re just pretty kissers. Their faces look good smooshed up next to each other. I really can’t explain why. (Please someone feel free to break down in a point by point explanation as to why their kisses look so good).

Season 2, realistically, could’ve been my favorite. I do love a brooding, angry caveman but something about the sweetness and earnestness of Polin. It’s winning me over as best season so far.

[sickofthistoxicshit]

I wanted the big wedding, too. Without the hospital. And I feel a little underwhelmed by it. There should have been two eps to make it acutally work, I think.

And to being jade, I so feel ya. There is a certain lack of interest now. But I can't say by to Eddie or Ryan just yet.

And I love HenRen.

Yep, I felt underwhelmed, too.

I mean, in spite the watered down version of the wedding, Kenny and JLH are just so moving together, they genuinely love each other and it translates so beautifully on screen.

But yeah, I really wish they made it a 2h event and actually told the story better and also gave the space for a big beautiful, joyful wedding, with a first dance and JLH singing, it would have been epic, Madney deserved that much.

And Jaded is right, after 7 seasons they all should have been somewhere more, I don't know, advanced, next level?

I mean, I follow other firefighters shows, in season 7 all characters are so much more developed and progressed coming such a long way, with probies coming and going that in comparison to 911, 911 feels lacking, it's like the level of storytelling never progressed beyond surface level.

Even the calls that are supposedly supposed to be epic in scale and are strawn over several episodes have not been at the same level since the tsunami.

But you are right, as far as flawless development concerned the only one actually evolving and maturing since s4 finale, is Eddie.

He has come such a long way since S2 and S3. He is not the same man we first met in 2x01, and I am definitely here for him. That is the only thing that is keeping me watching.

I want to see where his story goes. I am on the edge of my seat especially after the last episode where we saw Eddie full of confidence and finally free to party and actually allow himself to have fun.

I am still mourning Eddie and Tommy friendship, from the little we saw that could have been an epic, out of the 118 circle, friendship.

But alas, the writers don't believe in good friendships for Buck and Eddie, everyone are fated to be a LI and eventually an ex.

Since we all learned long ago not to get attached to any guest character, I am merely biding my time until we reached some kind of point in either boys' story.

And how can anyone not love HenRen?? 😍😍

[riverdale-retread]

Do you think Jarchie is a viable ship?

To answer the question with a question: What does it mean for a ship to be viable? Is unrequited love or sexual desire also 'viable'? If the love is unrequited but sexual activity happens between the lover and the beloved, does that make it viable?

My take is that Jughead is indeed in romantic and sexual love with Archie throughout most of the show, but that it's unrequited, because (sobbing for Jughead) Archie isn't attracted to what Jughead has to offer. They're at cross purposes for what they need and want from the other one.

Remainder under the cut because I couldn't stop talking.

Jughead is obsessed with Archie, but his love is very twisted and dark because it's the love of someone odds with his own longings. The one adult who actually understands what makes Jughead tick is his mother, so her assuming that Jughead has finally hooked up with Archie, then dragged him out of Riverdale to come running to her about it in Season 3 is a major clue to me. Jughead acting like she's being mean to him is another sign of that twisted complicatedness that he has about Archie. Jughead seethes about Archie when he's not actively imagining exactly how those abs flex when he's giving it to Veronica. As an adult, in the alternate universe, Jughead says "I love you" to Archie specifically when he knows he looks less than appetitzing at the fair - stuffed to the gills, crumbs all over his face, generally ridiculous lookin' - because he wants Archie to say, Even like this, I want you, but Archie isn't someone who would.

Archie consistently has an approach to sex, attraction, and touch that's uncomplicated, and almost polar opposite to Jughead - sensual, spontaneous, joyful. Archie moreover enacts noblesse oblige about being physically very beautiful - he just calmly accepts, without braggadocio, that people want to touch him and kiss him and look at him naked. If he wants to kiss a pretty girl - and he's had so many, omg, Valerie, Veronica, Betty, Josie - he just does, after he gets her permission. If a pretty boy wants to kiss him for being his adorable himself (Kevin, more than once), he accepts it with a smile.

If Jughead could have just made the move, the way Archie makes the move on people he likes or even in the This is a joke heeheehaha ... unless you want it for real way that Kevin kisses him in public, Jughead and Archie could have totally been a canon couple (Cold Sprouts' contract notwithstanding). But you see, Jughead isn't someone who can do that. Archie even tries to help him make the move - that's what I see the "East Village truck speech" being - but Jughead rejects the opportunity. There's too much pain there for Jughead, about Archie, in addition to the love and desire - envy, feelings of betrayal, inferiority and superiority, as well as competitiveness, frustration, possessiveness, and entitlement.

What Archie wants is what he had with S7 Reggie - have a fun sexual night together, be really pleased with each other about it, then afterwards watch a beautiful sunrise and reaffirm mutual affection. None of the Jugheads is capable of interacting with him like that, at all.

[dotthings]

Here's the thing. While it's great to encourage an environment where different approaches and nuanced variances on the canon are welcomed and prompt more discussion, there comes a point where chronic negative misreadings set in, and it becomes an echo chamber. Projections. Bad faith readings. People unable to discern themselves from the characters' pov. People unable to discern between their fears on what the character's intentions/motivations are vs the character's intentions/motivations. Not all of this is on purpose. But there are some truly nihilistic, chronically negative takes, and bad faith takes, and this is something that has eaten the fandom since the beginning of the show. I'm referring here to something different than people getting pissed at a particular episode or arc--spn is imperfect and sometimes it is an aggravating text. There has to be room for criticism, and space made for people to disagree.

But room for criticism and space to disagree doesn't mean having to throw the doors wide open to every chronic bad faith, nihilistic, or highly negative reading that comes along.

There is such a thing as a canon and throwing spaghetti at the wall, and protecting it under the idea of "interpretation," when that is protecting chronically negative, worst faith readings heavily based in projections, isn't how media discussion actually should work. It gets to the point where certain chronic uncharitable readings get popularized and it results in a miserable environment where anyone who sees it differently gets driven out of fandom space after fandom space just for not hating the way others hate. It's not joyful. It's stressful.

It's not about Dabb era. It's not about S15. It's not about The Trap. It's that I've had to see this in spn fandom over and over and it's been there since Kripke era.

Just pulling out one example. The discussions over The Trap. Most takes, chronically, since that ep aired, have tipped over into either far too blaming about Dean, or far too blaming about Cas. I'm not sure which character has in fact gotten the worst most chronic unjust reading, I just know I've witnessed it in stereo, from the Cas stan side against Dean, from the Dean stan side against Cas.

It's nails on a chalkboard reading some of those takes. It was back when those seasons were airing and it is now, 4 years after spn has ended. It's a record scratch on the canon song, over and over and over. It's chronic.

And it is wrong. I'm just going to say it. Both sides have been wrong. And they are wronging both Dean and Cas and they are wronging the story told by a whole team of writers who cared about the story and the characters. I actually don't care that much what people think of me. I do have a right to assert myself there, and defend myself, but that isn't what this is about at the core.

I can't just shake this off.

Dean and Cas both deserve better and the story deserves better. They're both deeply complex characters, neither is a villain, neither is [insert whatever bad faith unfairly harsh distortion of their canon selves one side or the other tripled down in clinging to this time].

I have to triple underline how CHRONIC THIS IS. (Not just on Dean and Cas).

It's been in every era of SPN.

But right now late SPN is still a hot topic, it's the most recent, its ramifications are still rippling, it comes up most often in my orbit and pocket of fandom.

I am consciously trying to keep my own bitterness about the "antidabbnatural" chronic takes contained so it doesn't distract from the actual reasons I'm here and what I want to focus on, but sometimes it is really hard, it's like I'm never going to escape from it, and like, of course, people are allowed to be angry, at the characters or the creative decisions, but at a certain point it tips over into chronically nihilistic negative hot takes that leaves little room for anything else.

Maybe people who came in late also don't know just how bad it got during the airings of those final seasons, how much hatred there was, how many attacks there were on good faith meta writers.

I don't have spoons for it any more, so I insulate myself and curate really strictly. Even with all my curating, it's not enough. It's a cycle that's inescapable.

Can't do anything about what other people do or what their takes are on the canon, this isn't a tone police or oppressing people or saying they can't post whatever the heck they want. I'm saying I'm allowed to have feelings about it and react to chronically negative takes.

I also am fed up with people having to apologize for liking S12-15.

Anyone who doesn't like that I actually appreciate the work of the writers room and the end results that wound up on screen, that I don't hate that era, that I've had my own grievances with it, but also have with Carver era, Gamble era, Kripke era, is just going to have to cope.

And let me make this completely clear: Dean is my favorite. He's been my favorite since episode 1 aired. Dean's been the character whose pov I consider first since the beginning. That doesn't mean I don't relate to or feel for Sam or Cas's pov, this is me being realistic and honest about being a Dean fan--not in the sense that I only care about Dean, in the sense that Dean has been my heart center of this show, and the most dominant lens of my entry point into the story. Not the sole entry point. But my heart center. I've been an spn fan for almost 20 years. Dean is my very favorite. That doesn't mean I have to throw other characters under a bus and capitulate to what bitter Dean stans think I should capitulate to.

And one of the reasons I like the final seasons is Dean's arc.

It is because of Dean. It's not despite how Dean was treated, I like it anyway. It's because of Dean. Because of his storyline. Because of the compassionate, painful arc the canon took him through.

I have seen "antidabbnaturals" go off on why they hate those seasons and they shout about how Dean was portrayed, treated, and depicted, and it puts flames on the side of my face because they are being reductive and insulting. Not the canon. Stans. Or it's Dean stans or it's Cas stans, going on another bashfest against Cas or against Dean.

But I want to make this absolutely clear, my so-called "apologism" for those seasons isn't about Destiel. It's because Dean's story, most of all, that I find it compelling. There are things I wished had been done better, or more completely, things that got short-changed. Mostly that concerns the ending, and I'm also not saying there are no problems at all. But I'm absolutely exhausted from seeing Dean's arc attacked by "Dean stans" and I'm exhausted from the cycles of Dean bashing or Cas bashing and exhausted from writing/episodes I really love being ripped to shreds, chronically. Non-stop.

It went on for four seasons in a row of non-stop hate and 4 years after spn ended I recently got a reminder it's all still out there. It's not that everyone involved was being that chronic or that hateful, but there's always an inevitable chain reaction and it brought the old hatred to the yard. I had to block more accounts. I'm just so done with it.

Anyway, this is my personal perspective. What people do with it isn't my problem. But I really needed to say it.

[rickie-the-storyteller]

Meet the Writer Tag!

(Thank you so much to @mysticstarlightduck for tagging me! Sorry I took so long lol)

This is me!

(I don't normally wear this many accessories/jewellery lol. But I wish I did! I love it sm)

Three Fun Facts About Me:

I have never been in a relationship before. Ever. The only experience I have in that department is through other people's stories, not really my own. And by that, I mean that I'm used to watching my friends/people around me getting in and out of relationships, and listening to songs about romance and love and heartbreak... but not really relating to them due to not having any of those experiences myself (but it's alright, tho. It'll happen when it happens! In the meantime, I always have my made-up ships from my writing lol).

My favourite book growing up was "Matilda" by Roald Dahl. I thought Matilda was such a cool girl growing up lol. And lowkey relatable in a lot of ways. No, I wasn't a child genius. But she kind of fits into the archetype that I always found comfort in due to being that kind of person myself. Smart/intellectually curious, bookworm, introverted/independent, genuinely kind and has a heart in spite of being seen as cold by others (another example of this is Huey from Boondocks. Been rewatching some episodes of that show recently and wow... forgot how crazy it was lol. It's good, tho).

Christmas is my favourite holiday! 🎅❄️🎄I do get why some people may dislike it, I guess (like, my younger sister isn't a fan, and she's explained why... I get it. The over-commercialisation of it takes a lot of the "specialness" out of it, you know? Distracts from the actual meaning behind it and all. Plus, it can suck if you're just feeling sad and lonely during a time of celebration for everyone else. Aside from that, technically Easter is more significant if you look at it from the lens of which Christian holiday is most important). But I love the joyfulness and festiveness. Makes me feel all jolly and cosy inside. Plus, I love singing Christmas carols. And presents. And Christmas movies. I just love Christmas lol.

Favorite season:

Autumn. Or fall, as some others prefer to call it. That's when my birthday is!!

(Second place is summer because that's holiday season. Plus, that's when my sister's birthday is.)

Continent where I live:

I live in the UK, so Europe.

How I spend my (free) time:

Writing (duh)

Writeblr stuff (tag games, making OC playlists, answering questions, communicating with followers and having discussions with them about writing, etc)

YouTube (mainly watching videos... but I do want to start making videos myself at some point. Stay tuned for that, I guess)

Studying/school assignments (I'm in university)

Listening to music

Singing

Watching movies/TV shows

Reading

Eating lol

Are you published?

No. It'd be cool to be, though. Pretty sure I've mentioned this at least once before, but I want to self-publish the Stephanie Smith saga once I'm done with it.

Introvert or extrovert?

Introvert. 100% introvert lol. I feel most comfortable within myself when I'm by myself. As a kid, I was so painfully shy that the thought of going up to someone and asking a simple question would terrify me lol. As I got older, though, I was super duper lonely, and I realised that I had no real friends because I was keeping myself all closed off in a tight shell, so I'd literally force myself to open up and become more social and make friends with other kids. I practised it, like how you do with any skill. Now it's not so bad. I'd say I can carry a conversation with someone fairly well, even if I don't know them so well.

Favorite meal:

Ooooh.... this is hard. I love most foods lol.

I think I'll go with something a little bit more traditional. I'm Kenyan, and one of my favourite meals that I've grown up eating is chapatti and stew (any kind of stew, or soup. But my mum would usually make this stew with kidney beans. That was a big hit growing up). Haven't had it in almost a year, tho.

Aside from that, I love pizza. And Nandos.

Tagging: @clairelsonao3, @exquisitecrow, @mister-writes, @winterandwords, @mjparkerwriting, @e-everlasting-g, @erieautumnskies, @annethewittywriter, @writingwithfolklore, @ashwithapen

[deafenedsaltwater]

Today I woke up at 4am and decided that means its. Time to write a 4x ramble of mainly highlights

Now to copy-paste it here so I can uhhh add to it a bit

More than 14 years ago when the first piece of bfdi/xfohv content was released, 4 and x were the first two to have a spoken interaction. Furthermore, in that educational short film, 4 helped X Find Out His Value, the titular event. Later, upon reintroduction in bfdi/bfb proper, 4 has x be his cohost, which gives us more to go off of for their relationship. Highlights of this include: 4 making it a challenge to cool down x when he was on fire, / 4 speaking in unison with x (subscriber specials + have nots/have cots challenge), / 4 saying, and I quote, "but X is just looking for his treasure! I CAN'T LET THAT HAPPEN BECAUSE I MUST BE X'S ONLY TREASURE ", / in a flashback where x is telling the contestants about 4's love for bfdi, it's shown they lived together or at least spent a lot of time together before the show (also can I say seeing x get sad about 4 running away hit me hard), / 4 sung a cover of "All I Want For Christmas" directed AT X, outright calling him "baby" and telling him he would wait under the mistletoe for him (4X NATIONAL TREASURE HOLY SHIT I LOST IT THE FIRST TIME I HEARD IT), / during Thanks for 800k, they did a parody of Honey I'm Home where the line was unfortunately replaced with "buddy I'm home" (4x disaster. We lost that day), / Cary confirmed that they were not related, and that he "liked the shipping", and "yeah, it's definitely canon" (to some extent. We can assume he didn't mean outright romantically, partial win), / 4 calls x "The best cohost money can buy", (he doesn't pay x), and earlier 4 had said "that's because I'm here! Yeah, I'm thinking of doing standup" in response to someone saying it's hot. X says something affirmative to this, I forget what exactly, but with ambiguity I can assume he meant that 4 is hot and noone can stop me, / 4 reads x's memory to find out who stole donut's diary, and x says "Ok! ...remember to keep my secrets" afterwards, / when bfb split into tpot and bfb, when x left, 4 not only got depressed, but referenced the original XFOHV short by saying "I just don't know what my value is, where my cohost is!" (Evil fucking homewrecker 2 I'll get them I WILL), asks ALL of his remaining contestants to help him get x back, before outright making it the challenge for the episode. When x is returned to 4, 4 says "x! I'm so happy to see you! Are you?" "That depends, how good are you at paddy cake?" "I'm super pro!" "Then I am happy as well!", / they have a lot of hugs, notably the one upon 4's return, and that one that is animated so that they reeaaallly look like they're making out, / I'm running out of notable moments hold on let me go watch a 4x compilation

I'm using masculine pronouns ffor both of them bc that's how they're referred to in the show, but as with all Algebraliens, they're genderless

OK OK I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO TALK ABT X GETTING SAD WHEN 4 ENTERED THE GROUND. Sitting at the exact spot 4 entered the ground for months and watching his 43 imaginary bfdi seasons is so,, I mean all I'm saying is that hurt/comfort goes crazy for them (fanfic reader in me shining through)

AND THE "What do you think of roleplay?" LINE. That whole episode of them swapping appearances was so lovely for subtle 4x dynamic. I want I want more just fluffy moments with them,, just seeing how they banter and bounce off each other is so joyful. I'm a sucker for fluff

Generally X is just such a supportive friend and 4 loves them (Other than the LRC line - I really don't like the Limb Reattachment Center being a possibility even off screen. It messes with my perception of them, and it feels inconsistent with the rest of their relationship throughout the show. Maybe I'm just a massive hater and don't want my vanilla flavor fluffy best friend ships being toxic in some way. 4 screeching adds to this, but lesser as later when x made it a condition of him staying 4 stopped screeching)

4 was proud of x for doing bfb without them. Honestly, my earlier distaste for the LRC thing could be fixed by continued shows of progress in their relationship like this. I will read between all the lines I want to make sense of the behavioral changes, as someone who hasn't watched BFDI content other than all subscriber specials, the pi day massacre, tpot 11, and a 4x compilation. Part of my willingness to somewhat brush past is that 4 and X are very strong/durable people who, as far as we know, could live for eons. Mainly referencing Thanks For 900k's timeskip here. I hope they live forever <3

OHHH THE WHOLE SUBPLOT OF 4 TELLING THE CONTESTANTS TO RESPECT X'S ALOE VERA,, I mean, it's a subplot that leads into x catching on fire which leads to th e challenge being first to cool him down then to do something to help his aloe vera grow. But it was great. "If X says there are points, there are points" ...lovely

X offering 4 a juicebox when they feel bad <3

I hope these two title screens speak to their relationship, and my perception of them

[biblioflyer]

It was no “All Good Things” but it did what it needed to do.

Discovery is a bit of a metaphor for “NuTrek.” Never quite sure what it is, whether to take itself uber seriously with the razor edged gravitas of nuGalactica or The Expanse, or to lean into joyful camp like Doctor Who. I think the choice to lean into the camp was ultimately a sound one. The edge simply didn’t fit the writing which was all over the place, in true Trek fashion.

It brought out some of the worst in the fandom, which apparently also has a deep legacy. See also the extensive letter writing campaign condemning TNG as a betrayal of TOS back in the day. We have never been as good as our heroes and some of us don’t seem to try very hard.

Discovery has long baffled me because I’ve struggled, more during the early seasons, with how to approach it. The early aesthetic made me feel like I should be taking it as seriously as open heart surgery which meant it could never withstand scrutiny. The choice to lean into camp made me more forgiving.

I still prefer the bridge crew being a more core part of the ensemble but I think that’s my old school Trek training. It makes more sense for the senior staff to be spread around rather than clustered on the bridge every time and there were plenty of Ensigns and Lieutenants whose names we never learned.

Having a defined main character worked better logically when Burnham was XO or even outside the command structure. The way the character was written, I actually found it frustrating when they first had her rejoin Starfleet and then promote to Captain. They eventually wrote her as a more convincing leader but it has always seemed like she was more convincing and more compelling as someone following their conscience outside the formal hierarchy.

For all the griping about its supposed radical politics, NuTrek has felt very safe. I’ve written a lot about this in the context of Picard, but NuTrek’s skepticism of institutional power clashes with the traditional story format. It keeps walking right up to the edge of legitimizing independent actors working outside of formal structures to right wrongs and do good deeds that are harder to do from a position of responsibility where the cost of making a mistake isn’t just losing one’s own life but possibly losing hundreds of lives or starting a war.

But it always chickens out. Burnham, Rios, Raffi, Seven, Jack: all roads lead back to Starfleet. Which is not to say that Starfleet is bad, actually. I’m all for depicting Starfleet as an enlightened institution but there’s a nuanced position where some people don’t work well in that setting and there are legitimate roles for individuals acting outside of Starfleet. It doesn’t have to be a binary where on one side you have all of the honorable, moral, and disciplined people and on the other are only pirates and vigilantes.

I must give a nod of respect to Saru who has probably undergone one of the most interesting and well executed character arcs that has left the character almost unrecognizable from where he started but it all happened very naturally. Which is an achievement given how the show has struggled with pacing in the modern season format. The next closest examples I can think of would be Rom and Nog who had 7 seasons to complete their arcs. 7 much longer seasons.

I’m sorry to see Discovery go. Just on a meta level, it’s been fascinating to scrutinize its artistic decisions and how it has engaged with its critics. Ultimately I think it did an excellent job of sifting through the muck to find the good faith, well formulated criticisms and adapt gently. Given the incandescent nature of the fandom, it would have been tempting to write off the detractors entirely or essentially reboot the entire show, writing out or severely changing unpopular characters and abandoning previous choices.

I’m a big tent fandom guy, so I will always say that a show needs to be a show for both the people who loved it from the start as well as people who only approved of it later. Balancing that is tricky, I think Discovery did it well. It was often confused and janky, but it grew both the competencies of the storytellers and grew the fan base. For that I’m grateful.

[alizaphale]

Me again, with another not quite thought through ramble.

As I was watching the Good Omens season 2 opening scene just now (again...) something struck me.

People have commented on pre-fall Crowley being so joyful, maybe even child-like and naive in his gleefulness about the creation of his nebula. And it is truly heart-warming (and heart-breaking at the same time because we know where it leads to) to watch. I love pre-fall Crowley and my heart goes out to him. There's pure joy on his face, and he enjoys just the fact the nebula is there. It doesn't need a higher purpose, it doesn't need on-lookers (like people) to appreciate it. For him, the nebula has worth and beauty on its own. He doesn't need other people to point it out. Even when Aziraphale compliments him saying that "he's done an excellent job" and that he "likes the pinky-blue bit in the corner of the nebula" Crowley appreciates the sentiment, but it's more of a "yeah, thanks but I just want to look at it now and love it!" He's a bit confused when Aziraphale asks about "what it all does", because for him, it doesn't need to do anything. He can explain it, yes, but that explanations stems from a place of sheer joy and love for the nebula and excitement about what's gonna happen. Not from a "this is its higher purpose, so it's useful, and that's why it's great" sort of place. He even entirely rejects the idea of giving it a part in the Godly plan by it showing the people the "inlimitable vastness of the Almighty's creation".

Now let's look at Aziraphale. He could appreciate the nebula (though I do believe, he loved it right from the start because he could see how much Crowley loved it!) but he asked for its purpose straight away, maybe because he thought Crowley couldn't be as happy as this just by looking at something beautiful. Aziraphale needed to know what it did. Why it might be useful.

In the present day, though, that has changed fundamentally. Aziraphale enjoys food (which isn't in any way "useful" to him), he enjoys music (sole purpose of music is to entertain, convey and elicit feelings but sometimes I wonder if "pre-Crowley's-fall-Aziraphale might have found music a bit pointless) and he collects, reads and loves books (again, entertainment, feelings, but also knowledge - something that probably wouldn't exist without Crowley tempting humans...).

It just made me think how much Aziraphale has changed. During the Job minisode we could witness how Crowley introduced him to human food, but I think it started way before that. It started when he met this beautiful angel before the beginning and that angel told him, that his nebula doesn't need on-lookers and a higher purpose to be a reason for joy. It didn't have to show people God's power in order for it to bring joy to Crowley. It was enough because it existed.

Aziraphale has turned into a hedonist. He enjoys the beautiful, simple though luxurious things in life, and we see the joy, we first saw in Crowley, more often in him these days than in the demon. There's been a shift in their way to look at the universe. For Crowley that was probably inevitable, given his fall and all the hurt and pain that came with it. But I am sure that it was Crowley who started, who caused the shift towards a more joyful, less "useful-centred" outlook on things in Aziraphale. Because Aziraphale looked at that angel and suddenly realised that things could exist, could be apprectiated, could have worth without a specific reason. And that realisation has been working and ripening in him ever since, until it found its way to the surface when Crowley offered him that ox rib. And from there, there was no turning back ever again for him...

[retrieve-the-kraken]

Heartstopper season 2 play-by-play analysis

It can’t be over! It can’t be! How long will it be before my next dose of serotonin? Although rewatching helps, absolutely, but my god, that cliffhanger! Those last moments of the episode just leave you yearning for more. More Paris Squad, more in-depth looks into their individual stories, more Nick & Charlie, more more MORE!

I’m glad that Alice Oseman is already hard at work on the season 3 script. I hope they’re as inspired as ever.

EPISODE 8 - PERFECT

- Baby Queen’s “Colours of you” makes an appearance/comeback. I don’t know, but I feel like a lot of people said that it was about how Nick makes Charlie feel, how his world is black and white until Nick comes into his life (I don’t know if maybe Baby Queen said that), but to me it was always more the other way around: that Nick’s life was very black and white until he met Charlie, because not only did he realize he liked Charlie, but he also realized this whole other part of himself, in the form of the colors of the rainbow (queer pride).

- Comments to Nick’s post coming out as bi are a a mix of joyful and shocked but a few awful people just taking up space too.

- Charlie saying that his life is perfect right now and that everything’s perfect, whilst Nick knows it’s not, because Charlie still has an eating disorder, and he doesn’t know what to do about it.

- “Do you want to be my girlfriend?” “Is that a serious question?” Love them.

- Tara and Sahar, I hope you’ve learned your lesson: never ever take part in an organization committee.

- I was weirded out by the fact that they included prom in the show, since I thought there was no high school prom in the UK. It just seems like such an American/gringo thing (we have prom in my country, but it’s nothing like the gringo prom… mine was so weird and lame). But it turns out that they do have it in the UK now, likely made popular by all the classic teen dramas and rom coms that take place in high schools from the United States. But since it wasn’t in the comic either, I still thought it was a strange addition at first. However, the whole group dynamic made it work.

- Coach Singh coaxing Mr Ajayi to text Mr Farouk… that whole interaction was so precious…

- People just openly coming up to Nick and Charlie to ask if it’s true that they’re dating. Children, it’s none of your business, you don’t even know them…

- The conversation between Tao and Nick, Tao’s face as Nick mentions that Charlie is still affected by the bullying… poor Tao, he really didn’t mean for that to happen, that’s why he’s so protective of Charlie. And Nick’s face when Tao mentions his dad dying, like he’s really surprised that Tao is opening up to him. “Didn’t know about your dad…” “Don’t be weird about it.” “I’ll try.” “Good.”

- And their faces when they both realize that neither knows how bad the bullying was, because Charlie hasn’t opened up to either of them completely about it.

- And Nick and Charlie both looking so handsome in their suits, and being so gaga for each other. “I can’t believe you’re my boyfriend…” “You look… sooo… goooood! YOU LOOK SOOOO GOOD!” My favorite thing about this new season is that I’ve lost count of how many times Nick can’t resist the urge to pick up Charlie. I’m making a montage.

- “And a big public appearance as a couple… that’s definitely what we want?” Nick knows how much the attention might overwhelm Charlie. But Charlie’s not thinking about that, he’s trying to focus on the good part, the fact that he has an amazing boyfriend, that they can be together without hiding now.

- Darcy watching sourly as a mother picks up and comforts her small child, indicating that her bad relationship with her mother is not a new thing, her mother has never been nurturing or comforting or loving. And of course, how is Darcy supposed to know how to love someone if she has never been shown love in her entire life?

- Best scene ever: Elle’s dad being a ten feet tall burly man, pretending to be intimidating but then laughing it off. Will Gao’s awkward nervous laugh sends me.

- His reaction to Elle’s whole look. “You look… you… you’re so… Hello…” He’s so smitten.

- Seriously, Tao and Elle being the hottest, most stylish couple at the prom. Tara’s dress, though, is my absolute favorite.

- Tao and Elle being silly and cute for photos, and the four original friends taking a cheesy studio photo together. Love them.

- “I can’t believe Nick’s showing off his boyfriend, but none of you managed to bring a girl!” How does Harry manage to say something ‘nice’ and still make it sound like bullying? AAAND you didn’t bring a girl either, Harry, so what’s your deal??? He’s just loudly seeking attention. Where’s Tao when you need him to shut Harry down with a snarky comeback??

- The boys teasing Nick about being the first one in a relationship, like it’s no big deal. But my favorite was Christian going “I could get a girlfriend, how about Tara Jones?” Awww, has he genuinely liked Tara this whole time, or was she the first one that came to his mind? (I think he genuinely didn’t remember she’s a lesbian).

- Tara’s “How do you talk to someone about something they don’t want to talk about?” And Nick realizing that that’s what’s happening with Charlie. “Maybe you just have to try, even if it doesn’t work”. They both have to go for it. I love their friendship.

- Baby Queen‼!

- The dance routine, Elle and Tao living their best movie sequence.

- The little neon butterflies as Elle tells Tao she wants to go to Lambert, and he tells her that he knows. Yes he knows, and he knows that it will make him happy to see Elle happy, even if that means letting her go. He has to overcome his fear of abandonment. He’s not being abandoned, they’re just growing up.

- THE ACE BOOK. Give it to mee‼! Isaac is looking for an identity. And I love that it cuts to James enjoying himself too, and Tori being content by herself at a table. I hope we get more of Tori’s story in future Heartstopper seasons (and the comic too).

- And the teachers are going on an actual date!

- I don’t know what that meant, Imogen getting sort of misty-eyed looking up at Sahar playing. Maybe she’s realizing that she might have feelings for her, but my interpretation is that, since Imogen claimed that she needed to focus on herself, and since the whole season she has seemed pretty lonely, and we find out that she and Sahar used to be friends until Imogen got a boyfriend and they stopped talking to each other (regardless of who stopped first), and because Sahar revealed that she was bi and Imogen got caught unawares and thought maybe she should have known that, that Imogen’s reaction was more of a wanting to rekindle that friendship. As we saw with Tao and Charlie, and maybe now even Nick and Tao, friendships and platonic relationships are given the same importance in Heartstopper as romantic ones. Not all stares mean romance. And Imogen is looking for friends right now. (Although if it does lead to romance, I wouldn’t be mad about it… and who can deny the Lesbian Lighting??? Maybe Imogen IS into girls after all…) “Youuu, soft and lonely…”

- Isaac getting his heartstopper moment when he holds the book to his chest. YES ISAAC!

- Charlie asserting himself and asking Nick if they can leave, because he’s tired and uncomfortable of people staring and pointing. Everyone’s been so nice to their face about them coming out as a couple, but that doesn’t mean that Charlie’s not going to be worried about someone saying something nasty to either him or Nick, and it doesn’t mean that he’s not possibly going to have horrible flashbacks to being bullied. And Nick once again realizing that he doesn’t care about parties, he just wants to be with Charlie.

- Seriously, Sarah needs to adopt Darcy, replace David.

- Why would Darcy’s mum see Tara in her dress and think “oh no, a door-to-door salesperson?” She clearly doesn’t want to deal with anyone, but maybe even worse, she just wants to quickly get rid of a black girl standing at her doorstep.

- “She had another one of her tantrums last night.” Like this is typical and so it’s not a big deal that she has no idea where her daughter is…

- Group hug to heal my soul.

- “I wanted to be that person for you…” My heart. Tara and Darcy finally talking. “You’ve only seen half of my life.” “And now i’ve seen the other half, and I still love you.” “Are you sure? Because I’m a literal disaster.” “Oh I know.” That is so sweet. And Darcy practicing saying I love you until it feels normal and natural. So joyful.

- By the way, only Heartstopper can get me to listen to Taylor Swift. No offense to all the Swifties (including Patrick Watson), I love your love for Taylor, but I really don’t get it, her music just doesn’t get to me. Admittedly that song was nice for this moment. But that’s about it. But anyway… don’t come at me. I just prefer Baby Queen and Orla Gartland and beabadobee and Carly Rae Jepsen and Gabrielle Aplin and Wolf Alice and Carmody and girl in red much more in this soundtrack. AND THAT WASIA PROJECT SONG‼ Weeping‼

- I love how warm and sweet everyone in the group is to each other. Look at Tao and Nick hugging! Look at how Nick and Tara and Darcy are as much a part of the group as if they had been there for as long as the other four have been tight. Everyone deserves a friend group like that.

- I love that they included that bit from the little comic answering fan questions, where Nick realizes that maybe he’s had a crush on a boy before.

- “Now your turn”. Nick really wants Charlie to be able to open up to him, about anything. Charlie deflects, as always, and says that they don’t need to talk about it because everything’s fine, but the truth is he doesn’t want to talk about it, he doesn’t want to deal with those feelings. But if he never does, he’s just never going to move past that. And Nick wants to help him, even if it’s hard, even if it’s painful, he wants to understand. “You don’t have to be perfect with me.” Charlie just shrinking into himself…

- That whole conversation, it was an impeccable performance from Joe and Kit, and I’m crying again… Nick can’t even fathom that anyone would call this beautiful boy disgusting, and he can’t even fathom the pain that would cause Charlie to hurt himself, he doesn’t even know what to do… but he’s there, he’ll be there, and he wants Charlie to know how much he cares about him. It’s so soft, the hugs, the soft voices, the kiss on the forehead, the tearful kiss, and telling him how much he loves everything about him…

- Serial hoodie thief.

- That deep sigh… that terrified look…

- Spoiler alert: Charlie doesn’t send the text… of course not… he quickly realizes that he wouldn’t just say that for the first time over text… he wants to really mean it.

This episode is brought to you by TIPTOE KISSES™.

Looking forward to next season:

- Sara and Nick’s talk at the beach in Menorca. It will destroy me, but it will be worth it.

- The ‘I love you’ shower scene, and subsequent street chase.

- The beach, and Nick and Charlie both blushing when Charlie’s putting sunscreen on Nick’s back.

- More from The Teachers™ ‼

- I’m not ready for Charlie writing the note to read to his parents… I’ll never be ready… I’ll weep until I’m out of tears…

- Charlie possibly speaking Spanish… listen Joe, Kit had to learn French, Spanish is NOTHING compared to that, you’ll be fine.

- In the comic, after Charlie faints, there’s that funny moment when Nick says “Charlie, I’m not gonna start acting like I’m your doctor and you’re my patient… *seductive smirk* *eyebrow wiggle* unless you’re into that…” “SHUT UP!” I need this moment, I need it so bad…

- More about Elle’s family, please. I already love her parents. More about all the families, really.

- More Tori, hopefully.

MORE HEARTSTOPPER, PLEASE!

[walkingwiththegods1]

Why Saturnalia/Sol Invictus/Yule, are 100% better; than Christmas!

Since I was a kid, I was part of the celebrations for Christmas (since helping to put the dishes, till wearing new clothes to show to your friends; and/or visiting relatives); but... Sadly, the joy I felt at Christmas's Eve; and during all the season, disappear way before my first decade of life: I really didn't want to celebrate Christmas, anymore! But people never asked me, why I don't like to celebrates "The Most Wonderful Time of The Year!" Well, I'm going to resume it, in three things:

People, behave at its worst in this date...: Fighting in the table, drinking too much and behave badly after; eating till getting sick, and... You name it! (Unbelievable that, in a time for "Peace, Love and Celebrating The Birth of someone of high morale..." People acted, in such poor behavior...)

All revolves around Materialism (...And Selfishness): More than a decade ago in my country, it started the costume than you must give gifts in Christmas; and since then... If you can't find or have money to get the present, you are look badly by the person/s than didn't receive his/her/their gifts; which decides to doesn't speak to you again, till the next Christmas! Also, some people only desires to be the ones than receives attention/help/gifts/ in this time; BUT... Doesn't feel they need to give or return nothing to the people/community, or even; to their friends and/or family. (A time than must be to try to be a better person, than many picks to only thinks in their own needs) And, at last;

The Christmas's Hipocrisy: People/Neighbors wishing you "Happiness and Love in the next year!", but... Never back to speak to you, or remember than you exist, in the next 364/365 days of the year! (Which... Is a very rude and cruel thing, to make)

Now... Since I found out about "The Winter's Pagan Holidays"... I feel like that joy, that I lose in my Childhood; Has returned again into my life!

Why Saturnalia, Sol Invictus and/or Yule; are way better than it's more popular counterpart?! They are for this reasons:

Remarks about acting well and unity in the Family/Community: Since inmemorial times, are stories (real and legendaries) about how people behave with more love and goodness; to their family/friends/the community. So, our ancestors marked the way to behave in this time: Helps to your Community, and... Eat your fest in this time, treating to the ones at your table; with the upmost respect!

Gifts... Are not the most important thing in this time: The most important thing in this time of Saturnalia/Sol Invictus/Yule... Is having a feast with your family, with friends you love as family; or, even sharing a plate of dinner with someone than you know than doesn't have to eat; or to invite to someone you know than will be alone in this time. (Plus: If someone gifts you sometime or not, it doesn't changes your mood; 'cause you feel happy to even being able to celebrate this holiday/s, a year more! ... And the gifts than are handmade, are more than welcome: It means than someone invest their time and efforts, thinking in gives you something made with love, than makes you happy!)

Is a time to do something good for others, and being less selfish: You can take a time to volunteer in the cause of your liking, cleaning repairing old toys and gifts them to poor kids; helping a person to learn to read and write, and... Even giving a helpful advice, or sitting and hearing to someone for five minutes than is in bad moment; are things you came make to brighten someone's day! And, at last;

Reparts Joyness to all around you, in this time... And, beyond!: Says than you wishes than anyone than you greet, than they have a great time and year; from your heart, and... Don't let to your neighbors and friends abandoned, for the rest of the year: Show them than they really are important to you, and than your Winter's Greetings, "Wasn't only to being polite..."

That's all in this post, and remember; to do good and being happy, in this magical time: Happy Sol Invictus, AND... So Be It!

[tinamaetales]

Help me overcome my unbelief

“You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” John 13:7

My number one mission as I entered 2024 was to fix my relationship with God; before I start a new year, I often assign a word to describe what the year should be all about so for 2024 the word was faith. I have been sharing my Christian journey on this blog for years now, the ups and downs of it but it was in late 2023 that actually made a huge impact on me and was the great determining factor in ensuring that my walk with the Lord, though it can still be rocky sometimes, will be permanent. I do not want to “leave” God again the way I always do before. I entered 2024 with a better mindset and a heart full of joy because I was so grateful that Jesus found a lost sheep like me through the hit series The Chosen. But what I did not anticipate is the fact that the more you want to be closer to God, the harder the spiritual warfare would be. And my 2024 really did test my faith. Being faithful during your ups is given but to remain faithful during your downs is a different story.

Season 4 of The Chosen has got to be their most controversial season so far. It was the season where they made something not in the scripture to be a “central part” of the entire season’s plot. *spoiler alert* Ramah. I was one of those people who was disappointed that the scene was included and the way Jesus ‘handled’ the situation and up to this day I still stand by my opinion that they could have done better for this season or at least for the character’s exit or the way Jesus “handled” it. However, upon deeper reflection, I understand why it was written that way (still did not like it). It’s crazy how God’s timing is always spot on with me because I ended up watching the 4th season in the time when I need to hear from God the most and I guess this season somewhat delivers the message and, in some ways, made me feel seen. 

The 3rd episode of season 4 is called “Moon to Blood” and it started with a foreshadowing of what is to come – a painful loss. The opening scene was about David and Bathsheba’s child who end up dying and it made her ask questions; the conversation between David and Bathsheba was moving:

David: My prayer was not answered

Bathsheba: Why not? Why some prayers and not others?

David: I don’t know. I have never known.

Bathsheba: And still, you worship

David: Through sorrow and joy and sorrow again. This is the meaning of faith.

That short scene alone was impactful enough for me because I watched it during the times when my doubts are overcoming my faith. It was great during the first few weeks after I came back to God. I was joyful and dedicated. I read the bible daily and was working hard in getting to know God. Long story short, my faith was new and shining. But then comes struggles in life. At first, I was still holding on; I kept reminding myself that God is with me, it is going to be fine but then things started to get worse and it shook me. I did not only start asking God for answers but I also started questioning my faith. I was so disappointed with myself because if I am truly a believer of God, if I am truly home because Jesus redeemed me, then why am I being shaken by life’s challenges? Is my faith really that weak? I feel so down because my problems seem to keep on snowballing and I feel even more down that my faith is being challenged. Just like Bathsheba, I was also asking about why some prayers remain unanswered. I started to have this idea that maybe God has favorites and I am not one of them. It was difficult for me to remain in my faith when my life was falling apart; I felt abandoned by the only One I can truly depend on.

In the 7th episode of the 4th season called “The Last Sign” the raising of Lazarus from the dead was shown. While this was one of the impactful miracles of Jesus because it showed that even the dead follow God’s command, somehow, I felt like Thomas’ arc for the entire season overshadowed it. So, while I was moved by the miracle, most of my attention was still on the grieving Thomas who had to witness the miracle he also would have wanted for Ramah. In the latter part of the episode, Jesus told Lazarus something about Thomas when He said “As for the heartbroken, he cannot accept my love or words tonight” and I felt that. Whenever I am at my lowest, no amount of comforting words can get to me because the focus is on the pain so I understand what Jesus meant by that and I also understand and sympathize with Thomas. It is already difficult having to deal with God’s “no” but to see the exact same thing you are praying for to be someone’s answered prayer can hurt you. It was not jealousy but more on questioning your worth with “Is there something wrong with me? Why can’t it be me too?” 

Thomas’ arc in the entire 4th season of The Chosen is heartbreaking but relatable. Watching his story unfold hits close to home. There were four scenes from the fourth season in which I felt Thomas’ pain the most: first one was when he was begging Jesus to heal Ramah at the end of episode 3, second was in the early parts of episode 4 when he was in deep pain and panicking because of what happened to Ramah and he was hugged tightly by Jesus, third was when Peter asked him “How are your prayers?” and he replied with “I do them but it’s hard to mean them sometimes” and the last one was when he witnessed the raising of Lazarus and he told Jesus “I am tired of all this soon” and Jesus replied to him with “I don’t expect you understand now” Thomas then told Jesus “It’s too much. It’s too much. I don’t understand” and Jesus replied with “I know and it hurts my heart. But please stay with me, Thomas and you’ll understand in time” Those four scenes have different levels of pain in them but somehow, I saw myself in those exact scenes. The first one or the first stage being begging God to do something is also what I always do when things in my life get painful. In those moments when I felt so helpless, I always found myself crying and begging to God to just please do something because I know that despite the situation being difficult to get out of, God can do something about it and when there seems to be no answer at all, the pain doubles. The second stage was being so overwhelmed with pain that it made you feel lost so you ran to God and held on to Him tight (Thomas being hugged by Jesus and him hugging back tightly) was also the second stage of my agony. When I feel overwhelmed, I pray, then open my bible and listen to worship songs; I was doing all those things so I can feel connected with God through the pain. Third stage was feeling numb already just like when Thomas told Peter that he still prays but it is hard to mean the prayers sometimes. After feeling all those painful things all at once, the next stage was to feel numb about it and I experienced that too. I still do my prayers but it feels like a routine and my heart is not really there. And after some time, the fourth stage comes with confronting God and telling Him that things became too much already and His silence has become deafening. It is difficult to go through those stages especially when you know that the God you worship is the God who is capable of everything. Suddenly, so many questions are running through my head and as days go by that my situation is not improving, the more I feel abandoned by God. It was truly a test of one’s faith to keep holding on when the One who can change your situation feels so far away from you. The realization that my faith is not as strong as I thought it was hit me hard.

It was heartbreaking to witness people getting the things you are praying for right in front of you, especially to people who are not even believers. I often find myself asking God why the evil ones tend to live great lives like those politicians who seem to get away with everything and live lavish lifestyles. Why do I feel like they are getting “blessed” despite being horrible humans? It hurts when you start asking God “Why always them? What about me?” I was not even asking to have billions of dollars or the most grandiose wealth, I just want to survive and yet it even feels like something I cannot afford. I sometimes wonder if there is something wrong with me that made God become reluctant in answering my prayers. I never said that I should not experience pain because I fully understand that pain is part of life but most of the time, especially this year alone, I feel like it is too much. The pain is not making me stronger anymore, it is just hurting and traumatizing me. I felt so isolated and abandoned by the God who I thought will always be there. God’s silence is deafening. I know He is real, He is there, and I know what He is capable of, but, why can’t it be me? When will my answered prayers era come?

Thomas has my love after watching season 4 because I understand his pain. But somehow, his arc also helped me understand God more. When Thomas was in pain, Jesus was in pain for him too. When Martha and Mary were in pain and crying, Jesus wept with them even though He knew that Lazarus will be raised from the dead. It was in knowing that He is with us in our pain that brought me comfort even though I am still in that stage of my life; I often remind myself these days that at least He knows and He understands. Although there are still moments when I wish God could be a bit louder in comforting me, I just settled with the fact that He is there and He understands my pain and somehow, He will deliver me from it someday. I may be like season 4 Thomas these days who is in pain and have no idea how to get out of it but I am staying with the Lord because, where else would I go? I found comfort in this verse from Psalm 34:18-20 “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken.” And in the nights when the silence is at its loudest, I hold on to God more even though it hurts. 

I guess that is why they are called miracles because they do not happen all the time.

Let me end this blogpost with a bible verse, Mark 9:24 “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

X,

TinaMae