#sorry for how this may sound; i'm watching a thing rn

[celestialvexation-arch]

I decided to read back see what I missed and Holy fuck antis need to calm down maybe they are the ones that need to get laid like they remind me of this crazy Mormon who used to go to high school with me turned out he was the biggest perv and creep and almost all the girls had a bad encounter with the guy

They keep throwing Clowns name (like the dude who would throw the name of god) as a way to justify the bladed bias and hatred over others like do they not read books? Do they not like art? Their is no such thing of something with NSFW stuff or nudity that is how we have such beautiful things because creators took a stand made the taboo art

jesus christ, yeah

i mean, we're already living in an era ( or returning back into a certain one ) where nsfw fanworks, esp from queer folks, are gradually becoming restricted and condemned. just even something suggestive is enough to make others side eye you as tho you're a criminal in the making. they're always willing to use any reason, even going so far in using their supposed idol as a prop, to shame nsfw creators -- calling them out, and throw them out into the mob right in the spotlight so they'd be between down by nasty threats and shitty insults

i mean hell, there are actually cases where antis are allowed to enjoy a few taboo themes for themselves but not for others to enjoy! a "rule for thee, but not for me" type of thing. it's absolutely fucking maddening to witness lmao

[l1tw1ck]

✨M.S Here! Dropping in to request something! You can set this aside if you lack motivation rn

But May I please get a Dom!Ftm Reader thats a mafia boss who uses Yan!Sub!Recruit or Enemy as a dildo, drugging the recruit's/Enemy's drink and just degrading them, telling them how they're only useful for Reader's pleasure?

Or

Dom!GN!Reader whose an assassin somehow ended up in bed with the top boss of Yakuza, bite marks littered all over the boss's body:]

Dom reader x sub character. Includes 2 shorts with dom ftm reader & dom gn reader respectively

sub!top!amab recruit x dom!bottom!ftm reader

language used: hole

cw: non-con, drugging

When the new recruit received a whiskey specially poured by his new boss, he was happy to accept it and never doubted that you wouldn't drug him. He was wrong to trust you.

Your new underling slowly opens his eyes, still feeling pretty doped up. He isn't sure how to feel when he realizes you're bouncing on his cock. While he's insanely turned on by the view and the feelings, a small part of him is aware enough to realize he didn't consent.

You notice he's awoken. "You're much better off being my dildo~" You smile. "You would've been fired if it weren't for this dick of yours."

His cheeks burn with heat. Your words have unlocked a new kink of his. Being degraded. He's been insulted hundreds of times but it's completely different when it's coming out of the mouth of someone who he's having sex with. Your dominant attitude and your hurtful words keep his dick flowing with blood.

"This is the only thing you're good for." You lean your head back, stroking your t-dick as you approach your release. "You're nothing- ah- nothing more than a piece of meat–" You come, squeezing his dick. He lets out sounds of pleasure as he feels your hole hug his cock tightly. His feelings might change when he sobers up but right now, he doesn't want this to end.

sub!male yakuza boss x dom!gn reader

language used for boss & reader: sex

cw: drunk sex, frottage, biting, hickeys, orgasm delay

***

You're not sure exactly how you ended up in the bed of the big bad yakuza boss after just a couple drinks nor how you managed to make him submit to you but you're not complaining. "Please- please, touch me." He begs drunkenly. He's so horny and needy for you, you feel compelled to give him what he wants. You lean into his neck and give him a kiss before biting him, your sex rubbing against his. He whimpers and moans in pleasure as he happily lets you mark him up, his body quickly reaching nirvana thanks to his drunken state. "Gonna- gonna come~" He moans. You stop, in turn preventing him from orgasming. He whines in dismay. "Please, [Name], I wanna come!"

"Ask for it properly." You hold his cheeks in your hand. "Did you forget your manners already?"

"I'm sorry- please let me come, [Name]!"

"Good boy." You purr, continuing your movements. He throws his head back, his body shaking. You watch in amusement as he reaches his peak, shivering as he comes. You don't stop however. He moans at the overstimulation. "You'll let me come too, won't you, baby?"

He nods quickly and endures it in favor of your pleasure. He's barely able to speak, his body twitching and overwhelmed by the continuous pleasure, but he's happy to make sure you have an orgasm too. He feels even more pleasure as he hears and watches you come, your enjoyment evident on your face. He doesn't want the night to end.

[santanasaintmendes]

“might sound crazy but it ain’t no lie, baby bye bye bye”

part 6! to the Cosmic Girl Records

summary: the gang goes to watch the new deadpool and wolverine movie. . . without you? oh no, that can’t be right.

ollie bearman x reader & platonic!grid x reader

all photos are found on pinterest!

warnings: swearing, nothing too bad this time lol

a/n: wow. this took forever to finally get out bc i started so many other fics 😭 but here it is, it’s a bit short but enjoy!

landonorris has posted on his story: 

liked by alex_albon, georgerussell64, charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, lilymhe and 5,292,402 others 

landonorris: the gang is back 💪

tagged alex_albon and georgerussell64

view 11,482,493 comments 

 user1: uh oh, has y/n seen this yet 😬

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 alex_albon: 😰 

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 georgerussell64: 😰

user2: may the 2019 rookies rest in peace 😔🙏 

user3: rip lando he’s in for a mouthful 

 user4: why’s everyone freaking out 

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 user5: just wait, give it a minute 

unfortunatelyy/n: MF???

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 user5: and there it is. 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: UMMM WHAT IS THIS 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: WHAT HAPPENED TO OH I'M SORRY I CANT COME OVER FOR DINNER I’VE GOT A DOCTORS APPOINTMENT THIS FRIDAY 

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 user6: OH NO. 

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 user10: dawg’s dead fs this time 😔

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 user7: LANDO RUN WHILE YOU HAVE THE CHANCE 😭😭

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 user8: he’s probably left the country by now 

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 landonorris: 😀 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: PICK UP YOUR PHONE 

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 landonorris: no. 

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 landonorris: @alex_albon @georgerussell RUN RUN RUN RUN RUN 

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 georgerussell64: YOU ASSHAT I TOLD YOU NOT TO POST IT 

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 landonorris: YOU WERE LITERALLY THE ONE WHO TOLD ME TO POST IT 

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 user9: oop 🫢

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 georgerussell64: i never took you for a LIAR 

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 landonorris: @alex_albon you were there you believe me right? 

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 alex_albon:  . . . ummmm

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 landonorris: i see how it is i’m friends with a bunch of TRAITORS 

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 user10: how does it feel to be betrayed by your best friends 

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 alex_albon: 😶

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 unfortunatelyy/n: PICK UP YOUR PHONE 

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 landonorris: omg i forgot about you 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: oh you are so dead 

liked by lilymhe, charles_leclerc, carlossainz64, alexandrasaintmleux, maxfewtrell, danielricciardo and 23,782,883 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: whoever said revenge is best served cold clearly has never had chimichangas before 

tagged landonorris

view 22,682,692 comments 

user1: HELP SHES AT IT AGAIN 😭

user2: absolutely violated my poor boy 😔

user3: i fear he may never learn his lesson 

 landonorris: oh i hate you. 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: just remember, you did this to yourself 

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 landonorris: i hope you 

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 user17: bro died mid comment 

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 user4: his pr team got to him before he could ruin his life 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: that’s what i thought punk 

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 mclarenracingf1: 🖕

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 user5: LANDO?! 😭😭

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 user6: HE DID NOT LMAOO 

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 user11: pr team probably took away his phone privileges so now he’s hacked into mclaren insta acc 😭

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 user12: lando rn: 🤓💻

user9: the side eye goes hard 

 user10: HELP WHERE DID SHE GET THESE PHOTOS 

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 user14: she’s probably got a whole collection 

|  user15: mission: steal’s y/n phone 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: 😓

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 user16: HELP HAHA 

 alex_albon: can you send me that second pic 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: don’t even think about it, you’re next 

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 alex_albon: 😨

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 alex_albon: @lilymhe your girlfriend is bullying me 

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 user7: alex albon confirmed snitch 

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 user13: at least he’s not in denial anymore 

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 user8: can’t do nothing wrong in front of this guy otherwise next thing u know police are at your front door

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

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 lilymhe: do you deserve it 

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 alex_albon: no?????

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 unfortunatelyy/n: HAH what a little liar

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 alex_albon: why do you hate me 

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 alex_albon: no wait don’t answer that 

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 alex_albon: wait i’m sorry 

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 alex_albon: don’t embarrass me please 

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 alex_albon: answer my texts y/n

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 alex_albon: please y/n

liked by lilymhe, charles_leclerc, logansargeant, landonorris, georgerussell64 and 23,832,993 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: shhhh, my common sense is tingling, something you clearly don’t have 

tagged alex_albon 

view 11,482,399 comments 

user1: the deadpool references, she is not holding back 😭 

user2: dayummmm pop off queen 

user3: can’t wait till it’s george’s turn i just KNOW she’s going to use the 2023 intro pose 

 alex_albon: HOW MANY TIMES DO I NEED TO APOLOGISE 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: @landonorris ?

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 landonorris: do i have to 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: yep 

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 landonorris: are you sure 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: YES 

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 landonorris: fine.

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 landonorris: she only takes apologies in cash no card 💅🎀💋 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: mhm that’s right 

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 user4: HELP 

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 user5: girl has homie in a chokehold fr 

user6: the second pic 😭

 lilymhe: what is that first pic 🤣 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: alex tried to steal my car so I ran him over 

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 alex_albon: THAT DID NOT HAPPEN 

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 landonorris: y/n doesn’t even have her licence 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: HEY WHAT DID I SAY 

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 landonorris: im sorry 😔

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 unfortunatelyy/n: as you should be 

georgerussell64: why do i have a feeling that i’m next 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: my goodness, he has a brain AND feelings would you look at that 

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 georgerussell64: oh you think you’re so funny don’t you 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: i do actually 

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 georgerussell64: 🖕 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: 😘 

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 user7: they’re never beating the siblings allegations i fear 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: negative. i would rather die than be related to this child 

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 user8: child 😭 i’m wheezing 

liked by landonorris, alex_albon, lewishamilton, charles_leclerc, olliebearman, carlossainz55 and 6,923,749 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: you look like something i drew with my left hand, which is coincidentally my non dominant hand 

view 3,482,429 comments 

user2: I KNEWWW ITTTT AHAHAHA I CALLED IT BITCHES 

 user1: HELP Y/N WHERE DID U FIND THAT SECOND PIC 😭😭

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 unfortunatelyy/n: dm me 😌 

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 georgerussell64: nO STOP 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: whatcha gonna do old man 

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 user5: OLD MAN IM WHEEZING 💀

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 user6: so is george 

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 user7: 😭😭

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 georgerussell64: call in the reinforcements @landonorris @alex_albon 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: AHAHAHAHAHHA 

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 georgerussell64: why are you laughing . . .  guys? guys where are you 

|  unfortunatelyy/n: their loyalty lies with me peasant 

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 georgerussell64: i can never win around here

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 unfortunatelyy/n: im glad you’ve come to terms with that 

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 georgerussell64: OH YOU SUCK 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: that’s what you get for being an ass 

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 georgerussell64: IT WAS LANDO’S IDEA 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: GASP

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 unfortunatelyy/n: WHAT 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: jk i already know 

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 user6: HELP 😭

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 georgerussell64: then why are u getting mad at me 😭

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 unfortunatelyy/n: cuz you’re fun to bully 

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 georgerussell64: blocked and reported 🛑

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 unfortunatelyy/n: its ok you’re not the first 

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 landonorris: she’s right 😐

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 unfortunatelyy/n: ugliness rears it’s head once again 

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 landonorris: oh you are the worst 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: 😘

a/n: tysm if you got to the end, have an amazing day xoxo santanasaintmendes

taglist: @ilivbullyingjeongin

[sugawhaaa]

NOOOO MY XDINARY BRAINROT IS SO SO BAD RN TOO!!!!

I keep thinking about bunny hybrid junhannie going into rut and fucking the daylights out of his owner <33 promising to breed them full of his kits, babbling about how he cant wait to give them his mates mark </3 WORMS!!! HYBRID HEROES BRAINWORMS!!!!

HYBRID JUNHAN ONE-SHOT

🪐♡✧˖ °🪐♡✧˖ °🪐♡✧˖ °🪐♡✧˖ °🪐♡✧˖ °🪐♡✧

I can't help myself

Warnings::SMUT/some vulgar language

Genre:: it's kinda implied that the reader is female but it's never really said, breeding, hand job, nipple play, creampie (don't try this at home kids (╯✧▽✧)╯)

Pairing:: bunny hybrid!Junhan! X female bodied!reader

A//N:: I WAS LITERALLY THINKING ABT WRITING HYBRID JUNHAN LIKE...YESTERDAY I'm usually not super into hybrid prompts but Junhan being a hybrid just makes sense 🤌 he'd feel guilty and embarrassed but would also jerk off to images of you 24/7

You weren't oblivious to a hybrid's heat. You've had your bunny hybrid, Junhan, for about 3 years, and every year around spring and early summer he goes through heat. He usually manages it very well. He talks to you about it but it's never very serious...perhaps it was because he was so young.

Now he's a lot older and you'd think that he's learned ways to manage his heat and impulses but this time it's all different.

It was around mid May when he woke up one morning, his ears perked straight up even though they're usually pretty droopy. He didn't pay much mind to it and went downstairs to you. You waved at him with a little "morning baby!" And his heart skipped a beat. His face turned red and he cleared his throat.

"M-Morning" he replied and sat down at the kitchen table. You raised an eyebrow at his odd behavior.

"Is it that time of year again?" You leaned on the table, unintentionally showing him your cleavage. He looked away, his ears flicking up again at the tip.

"Yeah," he said as his eyes tried to avert from you but he couldn't help it. You stood up again and continued to look through the kitchen for breakfast.

"What do you want to eat?" You asked.

"Oatmeal..." he said softly as he watched your body move swiftly. Your waist, your hips, your ass...he felt so bad but he couldn't help but stare. He watched you intently.

That day was about a week ago and ever since he's been distant from you. He'll hang out with you during breakfast and dinner but almost never aside from that. You weren't a fool either. You heard him in the dead of night masturbating using whatever he could find, a pillow, sock, his own hands, anything that could satisfy his needs. Every morning he'd have dark circles under his eyes and his ears would always be straight up. You knew this happened usually when he was turned on or hard.

Eventually, you had enough of it. You were worried about him and after dinner, you demanded that he talk to you in your room. You crossed your arms and Junhan sat on the edge of your bed. His ears drooped back, flat against his head.

"What's going on?" You ask abruptly. "I know you're in heat but you've never been so distraught. Usually, when you masturbate it's only for a little while and you know when to stop but I've heard you at 3 in the morning," you explain and Junhan turns red.

"W-Well..." he pauses and you decided to speak up again.

"Not to mention you hardly eat and you're not going outside. And back to the masturbating, you're using whatever you can find that somewhat resembles a sex toy. You even used my electric toothbrush as a vibrator!" You blurt out. You sounded a lot more angry than you were.

"I'm sorry!" He bowed his head on your bed. You looked at him shocked. "I-I Don't know what's wrong with me this time but I just can't stop myself. All day and night I'm so horny and there's nothing I can do about it! I masturbate for hours on end but nothing helps. I thought I might need to be more intense so I used other things to simulate toys and things," he explained with upset eyes. "It's so hard..." he looked at you with drooped ears. You hugged him and he looked shocked.

"You should've just told me," you pet his ears as you speak. He nuzzles into your shoulder as you hug each other. He accidentally grinds himself on your thigh as you hug but you ignore it. His ears flutter against your hand, softly petting them.

"I'm so horny," he cried out in a broken voice. "I just want to fuck you so bad," he whimpered and you chuckled.

"Okay," you pull back and start to take your shirt off. Junhans ears straighten out.

"Wait, wait, wait," he waved his hands around and you stopped what you were doing. "Are you sure? Like I mean literally. I want to-"

"I'm sure." You cut him off and continued to take off your shirt. Junhan watched intently. Watching how your body moved with so much skin exposed. "Cmere," you said as you pulled him close. You took off his hoodie and shirt. His hips subconsciously bucked against your hip as you held him. Little breathy whimpers escaped his mouth. As soon as you leaned back against the head of the bed he lost all his composure. He leaned down and kissed you passionately, his body pressed against yours as he kissed you.

There was no thought in his touch, he just wanted to feel you. Your body, your lips, your most sensitive areas. He wanted it all and you were giving it to him. He bit down on your neck suddenly and you jumped. He sucked on the skin leaving a red mark on your lower neck. He continued this a few times but he got bored quickly. It was apparent he just wanted to cut to the chase. One of the straps of your bra fell down your shoulder and his ears twitched at the sight. You smiled and put your arms behind your back to unclip your bra. As soon as it fell his eyes lit up, his ears straightening again.

He licked your nipples softly and gently, just grazing his textured tongue across your sensitive skin. He loved to hear your soft whimpers of pleasure but it just wasn't enough for him. He craved you more. He needed more of you.

Junhan moved lower to the waistband of your pants. You nodded and he took them off, leaving you in only your panties. You put your hand on his chest before he could continue, his ears drooped back as he looked at you. "Here, let me help you out a bit," you said as you gently pushed him to lie down. Junhan laid back and waited for your next move. You undid his jeans and he blushed, his ears still tucked back. You took off his boxers as well, finally freeing his precum-covered erection. He bit his lip and looked down at you through fluttered eyes. You gently wrapped your hand around him and his breath hitched.

You slowly started moving your hand up and down, watching how his entire body reacted. As you picked up the pace his moans got louder. His knees jolted forward every now and then.

"I'm gonna cum," he whimpers out before grabbing the bed sheets. "Please, please," he whimpers as his back arched, pushing your hand down to the base of his cock. You continued at a steady pace before speeding up, finally letting him release. His cum dripped all over your hand and down to his base. His body twitched lightly as his ears curled. "I wanna breed you so bad," he whimpered out as he looked up at you. His eyes weak.

You looked at him surprised. He had never been so straightforward before. "Are you sure?" You asked softly, finally releasing your grip on him. Your hands sticky and wet. He looks up at you with the most desperate and eager eyes. His ears fell back as he looked up at you, his lips slightly parted. You caved in and nodded. You pulled down your panties and tossed them to the floor with the rest of the clothes.

Junhan looked you up and down. If this was an anime his nose would be bleeding and drool would be pouring from his lips. You laid down on your back and Junhan loomed over you. He bit his lip impatiently waiting for you to give the okay.

"Okay, start slow," you smile and he finally pushes inside you. You gasp as he fills you with his hard cock. You take a deep breath and Junhans ears stay straight up. He slowly starts thrusting into you, letting you adjust.

"I want to breed you so bad, fill you with all my cum and you'll take it all," Junhan mumbled as he tried to hold back his thrusts. He wanted to rut into you like this was the last time he'd ever get to fuck, but he didn't want to alarm you.

You look up at him through hazy eyes, seeing his long black hair all over his face and the lust in his eyes. You hold his shoulders and he just can't resist anymore. He starts pounding into you to the point your whole body shakes with each thrust. "You're going to keep every single last drop of my cum inside you," he groaned as he held the pillow next to your head. "I can't wait to mark you, you'll be mine," he smirks as you become a moaning mess.

You start clawing at his shoulders from the pleasure, little scratches present on his shoulders. "That's it, baby, you're so tight," he mumbles. Every word that comes out of his mouth slurs into the next. "Keep every drop in that tight pussy," he hisses before gritting his teeth. His head falls forward and his ears fall back.

"I'm gonna cum," you whimper out softly. Junhans eyes light up at your statement. Your words encourage him to thrust faster and harder. You throw your head back and arch your back. "Yes!" You moan out as you're just about to tip over the edge. With one final hard thrust you both cum at the same time. You feel his hot semen fill you up as your body convulses from pleasure. Junhan leans down and kisses your neck softly as sweat drips from his forehead, his cock still buried so deep inside you.

He chuckles softly from the rush of pleasure. "Fuck I needed that," he laughs as his hand runs up your body.

"You wanna do round two?" You smirk and Junhans ears shoot up.

"Of course," he smiled and pulled out of you. "Let's catch our breath for a minute first," he sighs as he throws his head back, sweat dripping down his neck to his chest. While he's cooling down you move into a doggy style position in front of him. Junhans eyes light up as he sees your ass out right in front of him for his taking.

"Ready when you are~" you hum happily and Junhan can't help himself. He pushes back into you quickly. You jump and grab the pillow in front of you. Junhan grabs your hips and holds you steady as he pulls out of you and then back in even harder. The sound of your skin hitting each other echoes throughout the room. "This position feels so good," you moan as your eyes roll back.

"Good," he hisses and increases the pace. Your tight walls sucking his cock dry. "You better keep all of this cum inside you, I'm gonna fill you so much to the point you're going to burst," he smirks and claws at your hips and ass as he pounds into you. You feel his length continuously hitting your g-spot and you feel like you're going to explode from pleasure. Junhans hand creeps up your back and grabs your hair in a tight and messy ponytail. He pulls your head back and you moan loudly. "You're so close darling, I can feel it," he smirks as he thrusts into you faster.

"Y-Yes," you whimper as your orgasm approaches fast.

"I can't wait to fill your little pussy again," he mumbles as your moans become louder. Junhan groans deeply as he feels his climax approaching. This knot in your stomach is just about to burst when he finally hits your G-spot one last time. You come undo beneath him but he doesn't stop. "Just a little more baby," he grunts before finally climaxing, painting your insides white. He lets your hair go and let's the rush wear off the both of you.

You let out a calm sigh and he pulls out. He lays down next to you and looks at your face, your hair a mess. "Did I go too hard?" He asks softly as he brushes back some of your hair.

"No, it was perfect," you smile. "And besides, as long as your happy I'm happy,"

[howyouloveyourdragon]

one of alicents Brothers don't love otto much and know he can only cause problems. both him and rhaenyra feeling dissatisfied with their fathers, they get married and ruin ottos plans one by one. in this situation I can not see the reader hightower son being the one otto wants near the throne cause he would not be able to easily manipulate them. Headcanons and thanks for writing

hey anon! thank you so much for this ask i was really looking forward to writing it <3 i am really loving alicent's y/n brother rn

pronouns: he/him warnings: none other than parental issues that i can think of but please correct me if i'm wrong! A/N: i could barely stop myself writing im so obsessed lmao, the amount of errors i got from this

you were never one to indulge in your father's ambition as he paraded you after another won tourney and beckoned your sister as though she were not a Queen now and much higher in position than he would ever be

you rolled your eyes and huffed, folding your broad arms across your chest

you roam your stubborn eyes across the room as Otto attempts to entertain his fellow Lords and more importantly, ask about their daughters

your eyes widened when they caught sight of your father approaching with Lord Borros Baratheon, you ducked and began crawling under a series of tables hurriedly and regardless of how ungentlemanly it may seem, you turn your head quickly straight after peeking over your shoulder only for it to meet something hard and a yelp to sound from in front of you

your lips part in surprise as a silver head of hair comes into view, a porcelain hand flying to her forehead. The woman groans and you recognise that familiar voice. "What is wrong with you?" Rhaenyra Targaryen uttered with a huff and met your dark eyes with hers of violet. Your mouth gaped before you felt a hard hit to your shoulder, your brows pinched together. "What was that for?" You asked with a guttural groan. Her steel gaze remained. "You hit me first!" She threw back in a childish hiss. You scoffed. "Mine was an accident." You retorted only for her to drive her lips into a thin line and slump on the floor. "If I find that I am concussed, I will have yor head." Rhaenyra grumbled and you begrudgingly settled. Her eyes shot to yours.

"Move. I was here first." "No." She lets out a gruff chuckle in shock. "Excuse me?" "No." Her eyes narrow into slits at your defiance. "I am your future Queen." "Sorry." Your murmured and flushed pink. You looked down bashfully and picked at your rough fingernails. You turned oblivious as her eyes rolled across you inquisitively. She hesitated but her lips open quicker than she can think–not that that is unusual. "You are Y/n, aren't you? Not Gwayne, his jaw is wider." You snickered and nod. Her lips twitched upward without her consent. She leans on her left hand and smiles charming as she can manage. "I suppose I can allow you a sliver of my company since you are clearly so desperate for it." She grins playfully at your protesting lips and the way your body stiffens at the familiar shoes beneath the table. Her brows raise and she almost gives up her own hiding just to see the look on your face if she pushed you into his sight. Soon the feet retreated however and a breath of relief propelled out of your throat. Rhaenyra watches you carefully. You intrigue her infuriatingly enough. She nudged you with her knee enough to catch your eyes. "Why are you hiding?" You asked curiously "I could ask you the same thing." Your princess teased. "Ah then who am I to deny my future Queen?" She hates how her stomach twists in knots at the title passing your lips. Her breath hitches. "My father is..." You struggle to find the word, using your hands to gesture uselessly. "domineering?" It sounds more like a question and she briefly wonders whether she knows your father better than yourself.

that's the first time she has ever had a full conversation–or possibly one at all–with you but Rhaenyra doesn't regret it as she notes the stiffness of your brow and your unexpectedly soft voice

she finds herself listening to you intently until the night is over

she even forgets you're both supposed to be hiding and laughs boldly which results in a share of wide eyes as two pairs of rough hands haul you both out from under the table

your fathers have never looked more disappointed as you glance sheepishly at one another

you both are sent to your respective chambers but before you leave, her soft hand shoves a piece of parchment in your hand and smirks as you stare after her

your father blocks your gaze when he wrenches a grip on your neck and drives you back to your quarters

you open your palm to find the crumpled paper has her scribbled handwriting 'Meet me in my chambers', you grow a grin and obey like the obedient subject your dear father wishes you to be

you decide to take unorthodox methods to do so however and climb up the walls to her window, clutching to vines and stones alike

she almost thinks you're never going to come before your tumbling inside

she snickers and beams as she brings you through and like clockwork the cycle repeats in secret and neither of you are particularly good at hiding the budding relationship between you

until the dreaded year that her mother passes

she had seemed so excited and humoured as you beat her uncle's arse into the ground, wielding a sword to his neck unless he chose to yield and the princess' forever favour strapped to you securely

you couldn't bite back the smirk until your eyes settled on the missing figures

her brows furrowed and her gaze followed yours

you still remember how her body tensed and panic became summoned to her face

how she had bolted away

and the moment you found out how slowly the hand had told the King? Without haste or worry regarding the Queen? That was when you pledged the deepest loyalty to Rhaenyra, bending the knee before she was even pronounced heir

and she pledged herself back to you in a much different manner

and when she is announced heir, it is not your father you stand beside but rather the Velaryons

and so with every visit to her chambers you share new promises and old vows

it is difficult to juggle the romantic affection for your princess and the friendship with your siblings but you manage

one night you approach your father's chambers to request permission to begin courting but instead you hear something much darker

the lump in your throat largens and when your sister bursts through the doors with trembling fingers, you don't take any time to embrace her

with every planned visit to the King, you take her to Rhaenyra's chambers instead and personally escort her on her travels

it's a dutiful side to you that Rhaenyra has never seen to you before, you had always been as rambunctious and rebellious as she and yet so kind and soft when it came to Alicent

the both of you smirk at Otto when Viserys announces his engagement, you personally delight in the clench of Otto's fists

you can't call him your father anymore

not after that

it's late at night with Alicent asleep and strewn across you both when you interlace your fingers with her own and grin at her

"If I didn't know any better, I would think we were the most intelligent in the realm." you snicker and she raises her brows playfully. "Oh?" she asks and you hum mischievously. You nod and look down at Alicent's gentle face. "I think we should put our team to it's limits." She glances at you sceptically and agrees

and so the first of many occurrences begins

the first he attempts without any remorse; separating you and The Realm's Delight

first by steering potential matches at you and when that fails, he suggests an alliance with House Velaryon after Viserys' rejection of Laena who you have grown fast friends with

he insists upon allowing Laenor to at least court the princess and the King agrees quickly and desperate to repair old wounds

so again you devise a plan to diverge her suitor's attention and lucky for you your old friend Laenor Velaryon is also not pleased with the possible arrangement

however she needs a chance to catch his eye and you have the perfect plan

Your gaze roams her face as you cup her cheek, both of you laying in bed. Her soft skin, her soft eyes, sloped nose and plush lips. "If you grace me by your mere presence alone I will lay every flower at your feet," You start and her breath hitches. "but if you agreed to wed me then I will fight against the swords of a thousand just to secure your heart and if you wish it, your crown."

it is early in the morn when Rhaenyra is rushed into the throne room and sees you knelt before her father with your head bowed

and that's when she hears it, eyes snapping to her father's face

"This man wishes for your hand in marriage." Viserys announces, standing and watching her carefully. Your gaze flickers up at her and softens. It's not long before she swallows her pride and takes slow steps forward. Her hands engulf yours without a second thought.

Otto notices of course as you pull away from him

he decides to direct your sister's place instead, he begins his second beginning conquest; taming Daemon Targaryen and producing a Targaryen heir

reluctantly and uncharacteristically he acts in favour to the request of Daemon annulling his marriage to Lady Rhea. He may hate the man but he needs protection and a male Targaryen heir

Rhaenyra is still a woman and he knows that there will always be an uprising, if he can manage to coax Alicent once more into a Targaryen's embrace he will be able to succeed the throne with Hightower blood

lucky for you, you have an ally who is very keen to assist you

it seems that Laena Velaryon has held affections for the prince from afar and is happy to snatch his attention herself

it's at the engagement banquet that she makes her move Otto can do nothing but grit his teeth as he watches and whispers into Alicent's ear but she's slowly beginning to resent him and slip out of his grasp

it's not long before the wedding is being planned and Otto is growing more and more desperate

then Viserys' wife is announced to be pregnant and much to his luck it's a boy

perhaps his own children will not listen to him but what of this child? he may not be Hightower blood but that doesn't mean he cannot commend his intelligent advisor and future hand

he just needs to sneak into the child's head and gain his favour

a mentor if you will

he attempts to sabotage the wedding by encouraging his spies to seek out you both but any rumours they begin to spread are instantly shut down and discredited

Rhaenyra begins to take a stronger interest in her siblings and Alicent surprises everyone by joining the faith of The Seven

she has newly devoted herself to the faith as a Septa, away from the cursed childbed and dreaded expectation of her father

Otto takes advantage of this yet again however and insists with the King that your wedding to Rhaenyra be in a ceremony in the Sept but you have other plans, sneaking through passageways with your closest comrades and performing an intimate Valyrian ceremony in the dead of night

you brandish your wounded palm proudly before the court and revel in their shocked faces and whisperings

Otto turns red in the face and even more once he sees little Aegon and Helaena peek out from behind Rhaenyra's traditional garments

and when the many years pass and Viserys the peaceful is sent to a new realm, Rhaenyra glides down the large throne room with you, deja vu coursing through the air as you stand beside the Velaryons beaming at her

[velvetvexations]

i feel really selfish saying this, but i really wish there were more general trans movies with characters who aren't trans women. like, i'm really glad that they're there and there should be more, but on the other hand, its kinda all thats there? obviously there ARE movies like this, but 9 times out of 10 when there's a recommendation to go see a trans movie, its either a trans women or a character heavily implied to be a trans women there. and i'm really glad those movies are there! but i'd just wish there could be a big discussion about movie and there would be a trans man or a nonbinary person representing the community.

(this also goes for other types of media too)

i sent an ask complaining about how the majority of trans movies that the community talks mainly show trans women and i wanna take that back cause a lot of those media are shitty towards trans women. i dont think its fair to complain about that when those media are awful towards trans women. i apologize

anon of the trans ppl in media asks you can publish them! i retracted it cause im kinda emotional rn and i couldn't really remember if i was being fair or shitty

I think what you're forgetting, anon, is that while trans women are depicted badly in a lot of places - less so over the years, people mainly reference things from the previous century - there's still way more positive transfem rep than there is of anything for transmascs, and that doesn't mean transfems have it better, but as always hyper-visibility and invisibility are two sides of the same coin. It's okay for invisibility to not feel good. There should indeed be more media about transmascs.

Now I'm finally doing that. This year I made my first ever hand sewn cosplay. There are definitely mistakes, but it's pretty sturdy and I can't express the sheer sense of pride I got from wearing something I sewed myself. There are some things I wanna tweak on it, like I must have made a mistake when measuring the waistband because it's WAY too thick. But it's functional, it's accurate, and it even has a zipper! It was expensive because of course for my first ever sewing project I picked a character with a pleated skirt (you need 3x your waist in fabric and im fat which definitely adds up lmao, plus i got the fabric custom printed from a print-on-demand company) and the pleats took forever to do. But I'm so so so proud of it. I'm looking into armor crafting with EVA foam for a future cosplay, and it's intimidating but I'm really excited at the idea of working with it. I've seen so many amazing armor sets and props made with EVA foam and I can't wait to make my own. I'm thinking I'm gonna cosplay Maple from BOFURI: I Don't Want to Get Hurt, So I'll Max Out My Defense.. Then again, that might be jumping off straight into the deep end again like I did for the last cosplay since she has a GIANT shield. At least I'm sticking to her main outfit, not the one with giant angel wings lmao. I may have watched several videos on wing crafting but even I'm not brazen (or stupid) enough to try making those for only my second real cosplay lmao. Anyway this has been your regularly unscheduled cosplay info dump. Thank you for tuning in, we'll see you next time!

Ambitious! I hope it all turns out great, it sounds like a lot of big projects to have on one's plate.

My opinions are a lot more nuanced than most takes on 'shipcourse' that ive seen, but I've gathered that im generally included when people say 'proshippers dni' based on how people define it in said dnis. I'm not gonna purposefully interact with someone who obviously doesn't want me there. But that makes it frustratingly difficult to find people to follow who also believe in things like transandrophobia. It happens all too often that I find someone with great takes and go to follow them, then see that they have a dni that includes me. It especially sucks when all the other things in the dni are things like "racist" and "transphobic". I'm sorry, but I just can't see having a nuanced opinion on fiction as being on the same level as being a bigot towards others. It sucks to be put on the same level as actively hateful people because I have concerns about the normalization of censorship. I believe that when you open the doors to censoring media because of morals, you set the groundwork for things like the Hays Code. Censorship has always been disproportionately used to silence marginalized groups. I just can't get behind that, no matter how 'noble' the intentions behind it might be.

If it helps any, I'm also what one would call a pro-shipper but find the word itself beneath my dignity because I think it's ridiculous it's an argument in the first place.

[lowcosmic]

—— stay with me . ; shuichi saihara

“ shuichi gently opened your dorm door, his breath catching in his throat. ”

— 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: shuichi loves you tons. so of course, he’d never want you to be hurt. but when he sees those scars on your arm, other people hurting you may be the least of his worries.

— 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 : angst, fluff.

— 𝐜𝐰 : uncensored trigger words, suicidal thoughts, self - harm mentions, blood, fluff at the end. suicidal gender neutral reader.

— 𝐚/𝐧 : i just need some comfort rn ; the ending is so butt what happened there. THIS IS SO BAD I’M SORRY

“ it’s really hot out here … are you sure you want to keep that on? ” shuichi gently asked. “ it’s been a minimum of around 60 degrees everyday this week, and you’ve been wearing a sweater? … ”

“ it’s just … comfortable. ” you replied.

shuichi caressed your hand, feeling the sweat accumulating on your fingers. “ you seem uncomfortable, though … ”

you disagreed. what a lie.

shuichi continued to drink from his water bottle, tired from the outdoor gym activities. you didn’t bring water, having overslept and unable to bring some to school. your throat was parched, a drought beginning to spread throughout your body.

but most of all, your arms ached. the marks could open up any moment, and shuichi would see. you shifted around at the thought. you didn’t want to worry him anymore about you, he didn’t deserve to be with someone like you. he deserved better, as you were always so used to thinking.

you must’ve had that usual faraway look in your eyes, because shuichi put a hand on your arm to ask again if you were okay.

you simply nodded as you felt shuichi's eyes gaze at your face. you were absolutely gorgeous to him … it never occurred to him that you may not see the same views as him on your appearance.

“ i love you, ” shuichi murmured, planting a kiss on your temple even if it was pretty damp. he then blushed, apologizing repeatedly for not asking first.

you wished that this fuzzy warm feeling could stay forever, but as you knew very well … good things always must come to an end.

< warning . next part contains mild descriptions of self harm . if you wish to skip it , go on till you see these brackets : < _ > . viewer discretion is advised. >

you pulled out a razor, skidding it across your skin. your bloody skin, your scars re - opening and screaming in agony.

you redid the action on a different spot, blood appearing there too. your hand shook. you pressed the razor blades harder into your flesh. blood ran down your arm, the blades sinking further into you.

your mind was fuzzed. your left arm was bleeding uncontrollably. you had to continue. you moved to your right arm, digging the sharp metal beneath your tender wounds.

how would everyone react if they saw you do this?

how far could you push it in till it’d really, really be un - healable?

you felt tears prick at your eyes. until …

&lt; end >

you heard a knock at the door. then the sound of someone … picking the lock?

“ i feel bad for intruding like this … ” you heard someone mutter.

… shuichi?

“ i'm leaving after this, i don’t feel like watching you two make out, so just give me my payment tomorrow. ”

… kokichi.

you heard a click! and your door opened slightly.

“ taaa - daaaa! okay cya now. good luck!~ ” faint, rapid footsteps could be heard fading away ; kokichi leaving, you presumed.

shuichi gently opened your dorm door, his breath catching in his throat.

his breathing became shaky, his voice like a whisper. “ (y … y/n)… ? ”

you could see tears form quickly in his eyes. he tried to form sentences, but all that came out were quiet sobs. you instinctively dropped the razor. he rushed to you and hugged you without touching your arms.

crying, he shot a bunch of questions at you. you didn’t reply to any of them, your own tears finally falling down your face. he continued uncontrollably sobbing.

he needed to help you. he slowly got himself together ( while still crying ) and went to find the dorm’s complementary first aid kits, with you still in his line of vision.

and as he was cleaning and disinfecting your arms, you finally spoke out a hoarse version of his name. his eyes shot up to your face, despite his usual shyness of eye contact.

you apologized as he got out the bandages.

“ why … a - are you a - apologizing? ” he stuttered, his tears being choked back the best they could.

“ for … making you worry like this. ” you sniffed, your own face tired and hazy.

“ i … i'd do this for you no matter what! i - i did worry … but it’s b - because i care for you …! ” he stumbled over his words, unsure on what he should say.

“ you deserve better, ”

“ you’re … you’re the best for me, though ... ”

he finished up bandaging your arms, his hands moving down to yours. he kissed the both of them lightly. you felt two small tingles run up your spine.

“ i need a tissue. ” you mumbled quietly to yourself.

“ me too. ” he said, equally quiet.

in the next few days, shuichi had permission to move into your dorm, danger - proof the vicinity, and he paid for therapy sessions to help you. and as your scars started to heal, you thanked whoever was watching you for blessing you with him.

in the lunchroom the day after that, you lightly kissed shuichi on the cheek as you watched his face turn pink. you watched kaito and maki compliment your relationship. you watched kokichi and miu make lewd observations ( claiming you two had done the do, e.t.c. ). and you watched your boyfriend smile at you playfully.

maybe life wasn’t all that bad.

please don’t repost , translate , or claim my works as your own.

[an-obsessed-cactus]

I think i may be asexual?!

(okay this got longer than expected and i wanted to stop talking cuz ppl won't read it if it's so long and then i realized I'm not here to please anybody and i just wanna process some stuff so. yeah. also i come to realizations farther down that contradict some stuff from the beginning but I'll just leave my whole thought process here)

fun. um. I've realized I'm not straight two years ago and then started learning more about all things LGBT related and think myself educated enough on this topic but.

I've been pondering my sexuality and gender identity again more in recent days and. today i randomly stumbled across a yt video where the author (are you an author on yt? my brain is glitching rn)(also the 'author' in question is @jaidenanimationsofficial wonderful videos love the animation and the humor) talks about being aroace. few hours pass, my stomach hurts like hell so i go to lay down and sleep a bit, wake up and have a realization.

i googled again what asexuality is and read some more on this. i did this before and i guess i didn't see myself in it? so i kinda crossed it off the list of possible identities. i guess because i do want to have sex. i think. I'm not opposed to it and i get horny lmao. but that's only with fictional characters and works? like i just think: that was very sexy of you. but in a platonic way?! sex doesn't cross my mind. (also can you get aroused by music? or a good written work? or movie? like not even the characters but the work itself?) sorry i dunno I'm confused.

anyway i got a bit off track. what i wanted to say was that i suddenly remembered a convo i had with my sister a while ago where we talked about what is the difference between friendship and a romantic relationship. and she said it's that u wanna have sex with them and i was like ... i don't really think that's it...

and like. i get crushes i think. but I've never experienced this want to have sex with a particular person at least that i could remember. like a want to have sex? i guess yeah i mean not rlly sth i think about much but it's not unprecedented(see: i get horny)

honestly I'm not even sure anymore if im not aromantic as well. cuz queerplatonic sounds more like my jam?

like i felt(feel?) like omnisexual described me well because i think I'd be attracted to who the person is at their core. what if ur straight as a girl, date a boy, and then it turns out he's trans? i dunno i feel like gender isn't this fixed thing which then kinda creates problems when labeling urself with a certain sexuality. aaaa people came irl and i lost my train of thought. um. i feel like labeling myself anything other than omnisexual would feel limiting. even if i never developed a crush on a girl for example (i did), i still feel like i could potentially. like there's nothing stopping me. why shouldn't I?

OKAY SO

that was written yesterday. it is now today and i have a whole lot of new thoughts and realizations.

I had a bit of a marathon with @jaidenanimationsofficial videos and i came across an older one she mentioned in the previous one i watched about being aroace(ik it's a mess) about how she couldn't understand why when romantic feelings are not mutual people don't just continue being friends. and i was like EXACTLY WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?! and um. ahem. do u really see it as a problem? I guess if everyone does. but I'm starting to seriously consider if I'm aroace as well which woah there. this happened in a span of a day and I'm not sure it's real and it doesn't feel real? some time will have to pass for me to check out this theory cuz. ppl often say they felt like there was sth wrong with them and then they discovered these terms and were like aHA that's it! that explains everything! and I didn't... have that? and I'm not sure to what extent i identify with aroace because reasons(ill talk about some of it below). and I'm not saying that not having this realization moment or not feeling like sth is wrong with me through my life devalidates my orientation and stuff but it makes me doubt i guess?

i also came to an important discovery that aroused and horny are not the same. who would have thought?! I said above i get horny but apparently being horny means to want to have sex. and i just get the physical part aka arousal. fun. someone help pls im so confused.

okay for the last part(which prolly won't be the last part but one can hope right?)

i said i realized i wasn't straight two years ago. that was when i realized i like my best friend as more than i friend. well it wasn't exactly that simple. tbh i think Lucifer(the series i am NOT a satanist) helped a lot with that? like i knew about some lgbt stuff before because I'm alive on this planet but it kinda made me think about a lot of stuff, and between that stuff was my sexuality as well. idk. it's not like i had a crush on any of the female characters. just got me thinking for some reason. like why is having sex with people you're not romantically involved with wrong? why is prostitution wrong if u enjoy it and get money for it and it's well managed and secure? but that's beside the point.

well anyway I didn't know what i felt towards my bff(I'll say bff cuz bf also stands for boyfriend so it feels weird) but it felt like more than friendship. didn't feel like sth romantic tho. then i discovered queerplatonic relationships exist and i was like i think that's it! and then new school year came i saw her again and doubts flared up. again there was never i wanna have sex with her, but there was an occasional i wanna kiss her. and she was so important to me so it has to be romantic love right?! romance is the highest form of love one can experience afterall! nothing whatsoever can compare to it!! it feels ✨magical✨ when you find you will finally be completed!!! anyways.

it felt like romantic love was the only thing that could justify me feeling this way. i won't go deeper into this because i already have a draft where i do(i have like 16 drafts with uncompleted rambles so...) I'll try to post it but. i told her and we're still good friends! it actually made me closer to the rest of my friend group(which i was only a part of on the paper before)(i was so focused on my bff before I didn't really do group) because i felt a bit distanced from her for a while(she's a people pleaser like me and even tho i think i can read her well im paranoid and i thought she may feel weird?). anyways i got close with 3 other amazing ppl in the meantime and my friendship with my bff hasn't suffered!

but between my feelings being kinda realized and me telling her a whole year has passed and in the end i wasn't even sure what i was feeling anymore just that i didn't want her not to know. idk.

now im wondering what it was. even back then half year pre confession i was thinking if it was just because someone was finally paying attention to me. i didn't really do friends before (i kinda had them but there were no deep convos or shared secrets) and then there was suddenly this person who genuinely enjoys spending time with me! and listens to my problems! and weird obsessions! this sounds kinda sad put like this ngl lmao. but this was the first time I had that deep connection with someone. two years in my confused feelings came. geez i got off track again. point is i thought i was straight up until then and then had a crisis cuz i thought i only liked her cuz she was giving me attention cuz i was straight goddamit! ANYWAYS.

this post has lost all direction. it is a frustrated ramble of a very confused person. let us continue

i will just sum up how i feel about genders and people because I'm a chronic oversharer. oops doops.

men: find them aesthetically pleasing, all celebrity crushes are in this category (there's only one really but if i found a celebrity attractive like not objectively but to me it was a man), i would also get kinda crushes on boys my age when i spent 5 minutes with them. don't ask. i think it's dopamine mining(i suspect i have adhd). im not used to male company and i kinda don't like it that much but the the ?butterflies? are still there. tbh i don't really know what to do with men. doesn't stop me from having crushes tho. i don't have any real desire to be in a romantic relationship with men. i don't exclude the possibility but i haven't found one i would want it with. i also don't know now to interact with them. let alone flirt. actually flirt in general. it feels like it would be cringe and belongs in bad movies.

women: freaking amazing!! love them! no celebrity crushes, one irl crush which might have moved beyond crush(i suspected the L word for a while) to friends or it might have never been a crush in the first place! help! now there's another friend outside of my friend group who i may like. or i just enjoy her company? im not used to this yet. i forgot i think im aroace. this is killing me.

nonbinary/other genders: I haven't met any yet. there are some on discord servers im a part of but I don't really interact much just lurk there. i think irl experience would be different anyway.

someone please explain sth to me. you have sexual attraction okay get that(not really but that's not the point). but then there's romantic attraction. how do you separate that from friendship? just this intense feelings of wanting to be with them at all times? okay myb myb let's say u can separate them from friendship. what about queerplatonic? guys??

i am starting to dislike labels. this is confusing.

also i gotta figure this romantic thing out cuz im writing a fantasy series and there's romance involved lol.

okay so i guess i am at least asexual cuz i don't see ppl and go 'i wanna have sex with them'. i am not yet thoroughly convinced im aromantic as well but we'll see about that ig. because i still don't understand what the difference between romance and deep friendship is. aghhh

although if i can't tell the difference myb that answers the question.

also how does someone who is asexual but romantically attracted to all genders label themselves? like omnisexual ig doesn't work cuz it omnisexual.

i went to google aromantic and.

"demiromantic people have romantic attraction only after forming an emotional bond with another person."

HOW ELSE DO YOU HAVE ROMANTIC ATTRACTION??? Isn't this about who the person is?! Do you just see them and go: oh this must be such a good person. what?

like i understand sexual attraction when you see someone ig. but romantic? i really need someone to explain this to me in depth. i haven't even been asking the right questions.

"Quoiromantic people can't tell the difference between romantic and platonic attractions." Welp i guess i have a new label i can stick on myself. also the name is killing me. (quoi=what in french💀)

(edit: well this thing just posted itself. I DIDN'T HIT POST WTF. but it's out there now. ig it had enough of me adding new and new thoughts. im inclined to agree)

[wooshifts]

i know why u aint shifting

sorry for the like acc insane shiftok style title but i wanna say this:

you aren't shifting, and you don't know why. i'll tell u something that may not be true for everyone, but is true for most people. you are doing too much. what i mean is, the whole obsession over shifting, shifting methods, begging shifters for the meditation/subliminal/method they used, when in reality you're actually hurting yourself by doing this. i've gotten so sick of even searching up "shifting method" or "void state" or "law of assumption" because there's no new information that'll magically make me shift. all i need is to realize that it's mine and the only thing stopping me is me, and how stupid does that sound? yeah. so stop searching for a new magical "everyone is shifting with this their first try" method, bc that's (kindly) bs, and just know you've already shifted. go about your day doing robotic affirmations (or don't, doesn't change the endpoint) saying "i am already in my desired reality". live your day as your dr self. so if you're spending 4 hours doing homework while watching a show, that's not cr you, that's dr you. approach your life with this mindset, and when you "attempt to shift" follow a minimalist approach. i literally tell myself "i don't even need a method because I've already shifted." the most i do is count to 100 and then affirm for like 2 minutes and fall asleep, which is pushing it at that. and i tell myself like ok who tf cares if i fall asleep in the middle? not me girl. idc. bc guess what!! my desired reality will not refuse itself to me because my body fell asleep at the number 64 instead of the number 100. like how stupid does that even sound to say. so stop overdoing it, approach your dr as you are already living it (even when you're just eating an apple bc believe it or not dr you is also a regular real person who has moments where they're just eating an apple in silence), and don't dtm on shifting methods. they only work for certain people and if by now, 3 years into your shifting journey, doing methods hasn't helped you, it ain't gonna hurt to give this a shot. i call this method the not a method method. bc it's not a "method" and there aren't steps or requirements, just know you're in your desired reality and don't put too much into it. i hope this made sense, i'm deliriously tired rn. love you guys and lmk if this works for you or helps u feel better.

[inhurtandincomfort]

Hi! This ask is an excuse to ramble about your OCs! Eldwin sounds especially cool. How did he get into sorcery? Did he know his life would end up like this?

-- @violets-whumperflies

Thank you so much for asking! But you have no idea what you've unleashed lol. I certainly will ramble, but it is relevant I swear! I'm sorry for the slow reply, I'm sick rn and very tired, (in whumptober month smh) but excited to answer and I hope this all makes sense! It is rather long so I apologise, once I get into it it's hard to know when to stop lol

Eldwin grew up in a rural village where there was little to do - even the school was just a local church and dame school that occupied only a few hours a week, primarily teaching reading, writing, and religion. When he wasn't helping his parents with chores, he was doing one of two things; either reading or exploring the nearby forest, an old and mystical woodland said to have once been the place to many powerful rituals and wandering druids, long before the academia. His first real introduction to sorcery outside of storybooks was when a Priestess passed though their village on her way to a temple. Moments before her arrival one of the children had fallen from a tall tree and broken his leg, badly enough that he may never walk normally again. She stopped to help him, and with her power was able to set the bone straight and put it on course for healing properly. Healing is the most accepted form of magic as it divine in nature; it's less the users own power, and more them channelling a fraction of the gods power. It will not heal 100%, but it is a great improvement to serious and life threatening injuries, speeds up the healing process and is still a marvel to behold. Naturally, Healers are often sought after but very few can actually perform it well. The Priestess, despite her chaperones ushering her along, insisted on helping everyone in the village who asked; She soothed an old womans hip pain and cast a blessing upon a young girl with nightmares, and many more minor ailments. Eldwin watched this all with fascination and wished he could do that - wouldn't it be a wonderful thing, to be able to help people in such a meaningful way? He mentioned as much to his mother and she just played along - after all Eldwin was very young, not even in double digits and sure enough it seemed he soon forgot all about it. 

Some years later he was exploring one day with his only friend, maybe 11-12 years old, not much more, when they stumbled across a cave. His friend was afraid to go in, claiming to sense something dark, something that didn't want him to enter... so Eldwin entered the cave alone, and found a book. Not some ancient text nor a thousand year old tome detailing powerful secrets, no, just a regular book not unlike the ones he had at home. It seemed nothing special; a little old, a little damp, but by all accounts a normal, children's storybook, that followed the tales of Dhirin the Great, a mythical sorcerer said to be strong enough to take down gods. It was perhaps an unusual thing to find in a cave, but for some reason, Eldwin thought nothing of it. And when he returned, he told his friend that he'd found nothing inside as the book lay forgotten in his bag. 

Shortly after Eldwin fell ill, an affliction that seemed to come out of nowhere. He was restless and feverish, tossing and turning at night muttering in his sleep. This illness alone may not be so strange and indeed the local doctor didn't think it was anything mysterious. Even Eldwin, recovered after a few weeks, did not think anything of it. But he did not remember the events that had taken place prior. He did not remember the cave, and he did not remember what he found within.

If you had asked Eldwin back then, when he was still bright eyed and full of adventurous sprit, why he'd taken up sorcery - he'd tell you he felt a call, something pulling him towards it. Like it was something he was meant to do. Now though, he'd say it was just childish fancy. Regardless of the truth, he began to practice, studying fiction and historical records alike. It was difficult, it seemed unreasonable, and it took a very long time, but finally he was able to create some semblance of magic. Only very simple spells; summon light in his palm, blow some leaves in a tiny gust of wind, but it was magic nonetheless. He was elated. He'd finally found something he liked, something he was good at - but he knew it had to be kept secret. 

Magic is highly illegal to use unless you have the right education. That education comes in the form of The Academia, basically a nation-wide mages guild that is under government control. The magic schools are VERY expensive, only the wealthiest people can attend. Basically their way of keeping magic out of the hands of the common-folk, without actually saying so. And once enrolled in an academy, you pledge your life to your country, king and government. Sorcerers will spend their lives serving their country - some serve via the military, others devote their lives to the continuous study and advancement of magic or join the temples, and others still will be "rented out" for various jobs - typically as a nobles personal mage, or they may be called on to assist with various things. All of this is with government permission. Upon enrollment mages will receive the Mark - a magical brand that serves as a tracker. Not only could Eldwin certainly not afford to go, he didn't want to anyway - he refused to be bound by such strict rules. What kind of life is that, living to serve another, who reaped the benefits while you did all the work?

But it was almost inevitable he would be found out, and that set off a whole chain of events: A once calm and loving household now turned tense and hostile, his parents fighting, his father falling dangerously ill to what Eldwin believes to be a stress-induced illness... And the only cure being in the form of a demonic pact, yay! Fun stuff. 

For your other question, it's hard to say. He knew being a free mage would be risky. He knew, from the moment he made a pact, his life would become a whole lot harder. He also knows the fate the awaits him after death - an eternity of servitude, where he'll become an empty husk for the Abyssal Lord to use as he sees fit, and not a shred of humanity will remain. I don't think he ever expected that same fate in his life, however. As he grew older he became much more jaded and pessimistic, and tends to lament about "fate" and "destiny", something he'd never paid mind to before. Now he believes things were always destined to turn out this way, which may be a coping mechanism for the helplessness of his situation... but it also contributes further to his helplessness as he resigned himself to this life, believing there is no other choice. 

Also fun fact, remember it was the priestess who initially sparked his interest in magic with her healing? Well, since making the pact, that is the one magic he can never use. As I said, it is divine in nature - and as he turned his back on the gods, they too turn their backs on him. He cannot wield it, he cannot benefit from it, and to try would only cause him great pain to no avail.

[by-glass-and-waves]

So I may have decided to do some work on a 19th century AU ha ha ha sorry pls let me know if anyone else has already claimed it for themselves

And hilariously, it is an AU based on Restart, so it'll have Allani and her banter with Narinder. At least I hope it'd be good banter.

So think Pride and Prejudice vibes but Cult of the Lamb

And it might be because I watched the movie Emma. And because it was the time of the year to watch Pride and Prejudice, and Sense and Sensibility.

Bishops: Royal family of the Lands of the Old Faith, each sibling has a title

Shamura: the ruler, obvs

Narinder: doesn't flex his title or royal family status and just wants to do his own thing, which gets him estranged from the others because they see him as shirking his duties. He's only on good terms with Leshy and they visit each other on occasion, causing rumors that they're conspiring against Shamura

Ratau: mayor, retired military officer, owns a shipping company with Ratoo

Ratoo: retired naval officer, usually out on voyages with The Goods™, not sure if I'd have his fiancée lost to sea/drowning incident or have her in town because they deserve a happy ending

Baal and Aym: learning magic and combat from Ratau (and sometimes Ratoo when he pops up)

Forneus: owner of the local inn

Lamb (I'll be honest, it's Allani from Restart): adopted daughter of Ratau, he found her during a campaign in which her hometown was razed, there were a few other survivors who joined his town, also learning how to magic and combat from Ratau

Hauron: another survivor and adopted son of Ratau, super protective cousin of Allani

Rakshasha and the missus: work in Forneus' kitchen? Or should they work in Narinder's kitchen idk

Plimbo: another employee of Ratau and Ratoo, always complaining about his MIL visiting him and his wife every other week

Midas: that guy who owns super decked out place and has parties all the time, and MAYBE some out-of-towners go missing after, and MAYBE he has a few new sculptures in their likenesses after, but no one asks questions

So Narinder might be this mysterious gentleman who just moved into the big house down the street, whatever, no big deal, sounds like he's been Ratau and Ratoo's benefactor and is finally showing his face etc.

Narinder comes by to discuss business matters with the Rat brothers when she runs into him and goes "excuse me you aren't even gonna apologize?" when he acts all "ugh you messed up my coat"

Meanwhile Ratau in the background shaking his head and silently mouthing "NO STOP"

Narinder decides he does need some employees to care for his home and hires Allani, Hauron, the Twins, and other townspeople

Cue verbal sparring as Allani challenges the fuck out of Narinder and his life choices or something while he thinks he can whittle her down

Hauron is super overprotective, is like "I don't like that rich character" and tries to set her up with other townspeople/whoever, much to her annoyance, Narinder's entertainment, and eventually, his growing jealousy

Especially like "also he's of a higher standing than we are, it's foolish to think that you'd have a chance with him or that he'd have genuine affection for you, sorry fam but he'd def want to marry into similar status because $" not knowing he's got the royal family's wallet in his pocket

Shamura and family still care for him, it's just most of them think he's an idiot for just wanting to fuck around and not be responsible and will happily welcome him back once he decides he does want to do his duties

I can't wait for interactions like this:

Leshy: I heard you have a maid gf

Narinder: spits out camellia tea

Allani: pours more tea on Narinder in shock while yelling at Leshy EXCUSE ME?

Also something I'm toying with rn

I wonder if Narinder should use another name because not everyone knows or needs to know he's royalty. Would be fun to use names for the afterlife/death deities. Asphodel, Akert, Amenthes, Mitnal, Kur, whatever else. Leaning on Asphodel or Amenthes.

But yeah I'm just gonna add it to my belt of oops stories/AUs

[bexfangirlforlife]

911 episode 64 (5×04) first watch notes:

Let's do a third ep

Well not the only thing

Thank you Buck

Lol them all being so fixated on one operator as if there were no other calls coming in rn XD

Yeah feel that too

Oh fck

Why do I have the feeling Micaela was the name of the girl who died and the girl in the ambulance was asking about her?

(I didn't look at them that well to know if I'm totally off here or if I should have noticed it already tbh 😅)

Chimney 🥺😭

Not sure there Josh. I think I'm with May here. But guess we'll see

Knew it!

(Again sorry if I was supposed to know from seeing them earlier, but I didn't pay enough attention at the time. Just had the thought from how they drove her off without the parents seeing her first, seemed kinda odd like they were building this up. And yeah they sure did)

So the other parents didn't see "their" kid yet? Or what?

Oh I really don't like Claudette

So they did not notice it wasn't their daughter?

I mean yeah okay her face is very swollen and with the tube etc...

I def couldn't do that job. Telling people news like this

Buck has talked to her, hasn't he?

Woah. That sounded like a strong punch.

I feel like the punch would have done more damage the way it sounded...

Are they gonna move?

Nevermind, I take it back. It did do some damage

[causenessus]

HI HI HI HI NESS IM BACKKFJFKSMSOS so first of all tumblr hates me why is that the FOURTH ask of mine u answered that i wasnt notified of should i just die

anyways im eating lunch rn

healthy girl era did not work out i took a 6 hour (?) nap yesterday so!!

trying again today

N E WAYS

today the teacher told us her old students were too non che lent (nonchalant!!) so they failed the exam (wat.)

and my friend wanted to laugh about it w me but i wasnt looking so she yeeted my OTHER friends eraser at me

but it

it hit (near?) the teacher..

she was sooo mad omfg

giggling i hate her

like basically i answer all her questions out of spite now like YEAH BRO I KNOW THIS ALR😕😕

Also i swear i dif this math problem right but the teacher said it was wrong (wat.) and my friend did it too and we got the same answer (wat.)

i wrote fanfiction at school ☝️😎 it has already been digitalised but like i DID write it

and tjen my friend read an original short story (? 1.2k words) i wrote which was basically me projecting and she almost cried so like Uh

slay???

dude i love talking so much u have no idea actually

ALSO THE THING ABOUT THE ENRGY LIKe I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY OMG SO I GET EXCITED YK

n e ways..

i was watching american psycho last night but i got distracted..😭 ALSO IM SO EXCITED ABT ONICS LIKE EUSHEPSHAPSJXOSKAJDKAAKKDKD

>tries 2 normal

>fails

OK SO!! HRU AND WHATS GOING ON IN UR LIFE AND IF U EVER NEED TO HIRE A HITMAN IM HERE FOR U ❤️‍🩹 as the hitman btw ❤️‍🩹

U SHOULD NOT DIE!!! TUMBLR SHOULD DIE HOW DARE THEY!!! i am so confused at like what is happening at tumblr hq 😭😭 like there are problems that need to be solved!!!! and i feel like they should be pretty simple to fix!!! but instead they're like "NO LET'S MAKE TAGGING USERS GO BLUE AND COMMENTS UGLY"

but anyway!! i hope your lunch was good!! AND A SIX HOUR NAP SOUNDS AMAZING AND JUST AS PRODUCTIVE AS WORKING OUT!! it's hard to balance everything so definitely don't stress too much about it!! you have your whole life ahead of you to like do something like working out so not doing it one day is totally okay!! (yk?? i hope that made sense and i'm sorry i hope it's okay to say that 😭)

??? nonchalant -> failing exam???? i do not see the correlation??? 😭 YOUR TEACHER IS VV SPECIAL!! IS THIS THE ONE THAT TEACHES ENGLISH BUT ISN'T....ACTUALLY....THAT GREAT....AT ENGLISH??? 😭 OR MAYBE IT'S UR MATH TEACHER BC U ALSO SAID SOMETHING ABOUT THAT BUT THE ERASER ALMOST HITTING YOUR TEACHER IS CRAZY I WOULD'VE DIED ON THE SPOT 😭😭

also math teachers love to like??? tell u ur wrong and then not explain how to correctly do something??? so i think u should just blame them for everything!! that sounds fair <3

I'VE ALSO WRITTEN FANFICTION AT SCHOOL LMAOOO i remember being on my computer during french class and my guy was just so boring i pulled out the doc and started writing but LUCKILY it was like an oc fic so it wasn't as scary to write as a x reader UNLIKE WHEN I WAS MAKING TONIC PFPS AND MY DOCUMENT WAS LITERALLY CALLED LIKE yn & atsumu and for some reason all of my friends wanted to COME UP FROM BEHIND ME AND HUG ME!! OR LOOK AT MY SCREEN!! and i was just 😃😃😃 but i have no shame so oh well

THE ORIGINAL SHORT STORY SOUNDS GOOD!! ESP IF IT ALMOST MADE YOUR FRIEND CRY?? 😭 I HOPE YOU'RE DOING ALRIGHT THOUGH <3 AND I LOVE HEARING YOU TALK!! PLEASE TALK AS MUCH AS YOU WANT I WILL READ EVERYTHING YOU TELL ME <33

I'M SO SO GLAD YOU'RE EXCITED FOR TONICS!! I AM TOO <333 I'M SLOWLY PLANNING IT OUT LIKE ONE CHAPTER AT A TIME AND I'M LITERALLY SHAKING WITH EXCITEMENT OMG OMG OMG <33

THANK U LINA!!! I WOULD LOVE FOR U TO BE MY HITMAN <33 I MAY NEED ONE JUST TO GET THRU SCHOOL BC MY HALLS FR ARE SCARY SOMETIMES YK?? like too many scary girls who look me up and down in their little crop tops and shorts and nike air forces and are like "why are u wearing pants in the summer" BC I CAN?? AND I DON'T LIKE SHOWING THAT MUCH SKIN THANK U?? (sorry this probably makes no sense i think my brain has short circuited today </33) BUT I'M DOING ALR!!! i'm stressed about my theatre duties starting up very very soon 😭😭 but i'll let u know how that goes once they start!!! I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL TODAY!!! AND EAT SOMETHING GOOD <33

[malikselfindulgence]

for the oc x canon ask game !!!

(SORRY ITS SO MUCH SNSJSJSH)

durianshipping:

[🦀: How did they handle realizing they were in love? Embarrassed? Nervous? Mad?]

[👁️: What exactly do they want with their future with each other? Is that something they think of often or do they just stay in the moment?]

grapefruitshipping:

[🫣: Who stumbled the most with their feelings around the other? How much did the other person notice?]

[🦅: How good are their friends at being wingmen? Do they even help at all or just sit back watching the pining with a bag of popcorn?]

[💕: Who confessed first and how? Did it go as planned or did shenanigans ensue?]

- @miffysrambles 🩷🐰

HIIIIOH MY GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH ..... RANTING AHEAD imvery normal as you can See . This is literally SO SO long I'm so sorry oh my god

[🦀: How did they handle realizing they were in love? Embarrassed? Nervous? Mad?]

Oh jesus christ Morshid actually has a whole crisis about this . Morshid thinks ONCE Wukong's laugh sounds nice and he literally can't look Wukong in the eye for the next week . He doesn't handle it Whatsoever . I think w Sun Wukong it's a sort of quiet acceptance . Mourning what they could've had had they met earlier or had they been different people . Doyou get me . They're too jaded for this to work out now but something in him still wants to try anyways . Fear of losing the dynamic they've built up already by these new feelings but being unable to quiet them enough to keep this fighting and hatred up . GUYS .

[👁️: What exactly do they want with their future with each other? Is that something they think of often or do they just stay in the moment?]

Morshid may not show it but he's genuinely very afraid of what the future holds for them- SO much has changed in the course of the show for him, he's had his whole worldview practically flipped upside down, almost lost the one person he cares for, and now has to build a life outside of Marek and his mission . I think Morshid wants Wukong to be a part of that life, or to share it with him, even if he won't admit this, but the thought of taking that first step towards it scares him. I think Sun Wukong is very tired, and even though he thinks it's unrealistic for people like them, he still likes picturing a bigger bed and two mugs perched on his kitchen counter and a new head for the little monkeys to groom and play with . Unbeknownst to them this future is not as far as it seems :3

[🫣: Who stumbled the most with their feelings around the other? How much did the other person notice?]

Marek to like an insane degree- her brain turns off completely around Mei . I do think Mei notices SOMEWHAT but doesn't really comment on it accepting it as like a Marek Thing . Mei first assumes it's a negative reaction and tries to stop doing whatever prompted it but then Marek very tentatively initiates and Mei realises it was actually positive :33 Mei is aromantic 2 me in a different way than Marek and their switch from friends to Whatever-They-Are-Rn is like gradual and natural to Mei and more bumpy or confusing to Marek

[🦅: How good are their friends at being wingmen? Do they even help at all or just sit back watching the pining with a bag of popcorn?]

MK gets called in the middle of the night by a hysterical Marek going "I TBINK I LIKE MEI?????" and they have a full incomprehensible 2 hour discussion that reaches no conclusion . They're both aromantic and confused as fuck . MK is basing all his knowledge off crappy rom-com films like "okay okay do you get butterflies when u see her?" and Marek very seriously considers this and goes "I think I'd describe it as a bowling ball knocking down pins except the pins are my organs and the bowling ball is Mei's cute face." and MK's like taking notes . He tries to prompt Marek to confess to Mei but he's SO fucking bad at it and so not-subtle that all it does is make Marek tackle him to the ground to shut him up . Goobers .....

[💕: Who confessed first and how? Did it go as planned or did shenanigans ensue?]

They're Both aromantic 2 me teehee and to Mei the shift to romantic-adjacent territory is not a very big deal . The devotion and being comfortable enough 2 be your worst self around the other and trusting them to love you through it though ..... thisis like as close to a confession as these two will get . I do think Marek TRIES to plan confessions but there never seems to be a right time and gradually they form a relationship they're both happy with and Marek realises they don't really need an "official" title or for it to be spoken aloud .... they love each other and that's enough for them :33

[sparklingpax]

“Are you always this shy?” With Optimus and Ratchet? (Forgive me if I'm doing this wrong, I've only been following you for a moment)

From this (requests are still open btw! I need these moments to take my mind off irl stuff ngl qwq)

HELLO HI THIS IS VERY OVERDUE!! (as are the other ones, which will be posted very soon, I promise o///o) Also no worries at all, you did this right!! :D

I am the one who should be asking for forgiveness rn, because no one should have to wait this long jsddjsdj TwT

I know it's been a long minute, but I hope you enjoy my blog and all my shenanigans (even at least somewhat ahah ^^'')

-Im deeply sorry for typos and other such grammatical errors 😭

-I went with a sort of "early war" kind of thing, like right after Ratchet becomes a part of Optimus' team. (Not sure this is probably not even how this would have played out or did, but I am taking ARTISTIC LISENCE and doing my own version of events....idk ;w;)

-Also, it is a bit short ;///; sorry....hope you like it tho!

-Set in aligned continuity/tfp

-i guess its a lil bit of optiratch ya know? just a lil (for my own enjoyment ^w^)

///

“Ratchet.”

“Don’t.”

“But the team wants to–”

“Well they’ll have to do whatever it is another time–I’m too busy!!” the shorter mech snapped, cutting him off. He quickly reached into his toolbox and fumbled to grab something. Optimus took a step closer, trying to peer over his shoulder, curious.

“What are you working on?”

“A–uhm–this set of some…very difficult formulas!” The medic stammered, not yet turned to face him. “I-I need time, some quiet…I…I’m simply far too busy to do anything right now!” 

He finally set his grip on an object, looking over his shoulder at Optimus as he brandished a wrench and waved it demonstratively. But as he held the wrench, Optimus noticed the tip of the object quivering in Ratchet’s grip. 

After another sharp huff, he turned his back to Optimus again, leaning over the table, which was covered in rust and dirt. He set the wrench down quietly and stood still. 

Optimus wondered if he was going to explain the wrench at all, or…

“...Alright, I’m…” Another sigh and pause. Optimus waited patiently. “I’m…not exactly busy with…formulas, I’m just…well, it’s just–I…I don’t…”

“You’re…nervous?”

Ratchet made a sound that seemed to agree. 

Optimus fought the urge to giggle at how this was kind of cute–he didn’t want the medic to feel any more embarrassed than he probably already did. Instead, he strode closer to him, resting a gentle servo on his shoulder. 

“I understand. You may take as long as you need before you go out and meet them,” he said quietly. 

Ratchet ducked his head. 

“But I feel bad about…” 

Optimus shook his head, looking down at him with gentle regard. 

“There is nothing to feel bad about, Ratchet. It would cause you discomfort if you went to meet everyone now, and I know neither you nor I would enjoy that. And, they are your new team as of now, so they will be around for quite a while.”

Ratchet finally looked back at Optimus, seeming less bothered than he had been–just a little more relaxed. Optimus was glad, smiling back at him. 

“Well then…” Ratchet murmured, moving to return to looking at the table. “I do have some work to do…”

He jumped right into it, and Optimus simply watched, leaning against the table. He eyed a light flicker above them briefly, then let his gaze wander to the faded papers tacked to the walls. It wasn’t really a medical room, but it was the best available to them in their situation. 

Squinting, he could see even more that these posters must not have been Ratchet’s–being advertisements for a shop of some kind, or pictures of a musical artist he was sure neither of them knew… 

“You know…” Ratchet said quietly, breaking the silence, “...I do want to meet the team. I’ll need to get to know them in the event of injuries and such, anyway…”

Optimus tilted his head, still looking at the contents of the room. 

“There are many of us in this unit. Is it that there are too many at once?”

“...that would be it.”

“I suppose I never saw you with big groups unless you knew everybot or were giving presentations back on Cybertron,” Optimus remarked. “Are you…always this shy?”

“Well it's not exactly shyness, but I believe you know what I mean as…” Ratchet chuckled little. He put down his tools again and looked up to find Optimus staring back at him. He remembered the eyes that looked back at him when they were in Ratchet’s old dorm at university, as he worked on a project for class, and Orion came just to watch…to keep him company. 

Those same eyes that still looked to him with interest and curiosity. 

Oh Orion…some things never change. 

“...you were too, once,” he said finally, looking back to his desk and attempting to focus and get back to work. But he stopped at a touch on his hand, staring back up at his friend. Optimus had a somewhat melancholy look pooled in the back of his gaze. 

“And I still am. But as a leader…I have to…work around it.” 

Ratchet leaned forward and into Optimus, who wrapped his arms around him in a gentle embrace. 

“I know, Optimus,” he whispered. 

He silently resolved to go see the others later that very night. If Optimus could do it, well…then he wanted to as well.

Thank you, Optimus.

///

[constantfragmentation]

hey, just came here to tell you that i'm so so relieved that i was able to find your blog again !! and your jane eyre au fanfic with silco !! honestly, 'bend but not break' was (and still pretty much is) one of my favourite fanfics ever; not aus or silco fanfics, i mean one of THE best fanfics i've ever read. cannot even begin to describe how sad i was when i lost the ao3 link, and when i wasn't able to remember your blog's url.

and it was a shame, because BBNB was just *chef's kiss* 🤌. i literally stayed awake until sunrise reading it the first time, already getting inpatient for the next chapter. and i think it's mainly because you capture silco so so well, and you get 'jane eyre'; and you capture the dreadful air of the novel, and those little acts of tenderness and romance... and your smut it's quite great too. like, i still can't get over The Opera chapter, even after all this time 👀👀

still, now that i did find you, i'm not only gonna read that one, but i'm gonna get started on all your other works !! i know i'm getting repetitive but i just don't know how to express just how great i think your writing is. so for now, i just hope you get to read this !!

hope i didn't weird you out or anything !! please, have a great day, and stay safe <33

p.s.: i'm gonna read bbnb rn, until sunrise if necessary, just like in the good old days !! so if you hear someone's heart breaking, it might be mine !!

Omg?! Thank you! No, you are not weirding me out in any way.

I am so very humbled. You have no idea. I'm still learning as a writer, and I am my own worst critic.

I'm sorry I haven't been online to respond to this earlier because I've been really sick with the flu and binge watching Poldark (again).

I've been technically writing fiction since 2015 and it's been a learning curve with each story. For some odd reason, historical eras seem to fit my style in writing. I can do modern but this era I feel like I can sink my teeth into it.

I'm a huge fan of gothic horror/suspense/romance. So, yeah, I guess you can see that in the choices I make.

I must admit I'm not all together happy with the last chapter of BBNB, I might want to change some things in that chapter before moving on (maybe because it might meld into the next chapter better? idk).

Even though I have approximately 5-6 chapters (depending on how big the chapters get, I'm terrible about posting novel-length chapters) left in Bend, it should be an emotional rollercoaster. There are soooo many things I have left to run with before it ends.

As of the lastest chapter, I'm deviating from Jane Eyre a bit, while still holding onto certain plot-points for context but I want to play more with the Regency Arcane/Silco's world.

I do have other ideas for Silco stories I want to write. One will deal with a younger, hot-head SIlco. Another I'm tempted to play with a Roaring 20's Underground.

Then I have a story that I'm developing into an original gothic novel. I have maybe too much on my plate. LOL

It's moments like this when I wish I didn't have to 'work' a regular job to pay the bills because I would literally write all day, every day.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate you sending me this. It really does brighten my day. That may sound cliche, but it does. I admit I don't have the greatest self-esteem, but I'm working on it.

That someone likes something I've written that much to comment at all and tell me they're re-reading it... my heart is going to explode.

I am working on both Regency Silco stories. When my head doesn't feel like a fog-horn inside of a 100lb bowling ball, I should be in a better space to be creative. It's zapped when you feel exhausted. Working 60hr weeks lately probably hasn't helped my health any.

Thank you again sooooo much for this. Never feel like you're bothering me or weirding me out. I love and embrace all comments, good or critical.