#sorry for blowing this up with discussion OP

[twojamie-o-clock]

Oooo okay that is really interesting

I haven’t listened to any audios post-Two since I’m yet to reach 4’s run, but that’s an interesting concept. I definitely felt like the Mirth audio had a different tone but more like Steven was finding his footing again — though since it ends up leading into the Massacre at the end it sort of takes away the argument that it has to be nonstop tragedy until Dodo. I do like the idea that Sara is the main influence of Steven’s emotions & attitude pre-massacre before the actual events unfold — (especially thinking of the church scene from the novelization hshdjfks) so I could totally buy into Oliver not needing a tragic ending. I never really thought about it fitting…the TONE of that section of hartnell era?? But when you put it like that yeah it makes sense. To me it more felt like digging at Steven than saying it has to be nonstop darkness, so while I’m not bothered by Oliver ending in /death/ since I do think that propels into the Massacre a little better (though not necessary since the death haunting can be shown anywhere like in daughter of the gods which is an alternate timeline that is eventually erased but /still/ manages to traumatize Steven) but I would love to see more of his stories. I like the idea that The Doctor didn’t get them there on the first try & since bigfinish doesn’t need to adhere to A Canon it should be possible to sneak in more Oliver stories. But again to me what hit the hardest was /how short of a run/ that he had because it was ,, the neon flashing sign we probably didn’t need to point out in general how Steven’s narrative had been going.

Maybe a more interesting way to handle Oliver would have been leaving the anachronauts/Sara-audio thread of highlighting the tragedy & death Steven experienced but actually beginning to explore the /aftermath/ of all that — how he goes from the grief to the anger, and then the anger to the dedication (always there, underlying, of course) that he displays in his audios post-TARDIS but I don’t think I have the brains to write that Lol I’d love to see it. & your fic idea sounds interesting I think you should write it!!! It’s always fun to try a hand at fiction.

The First Doctor and companions Oliver and Steven. Admittedly, I do need to listen to these stories... Whoops!

[gaywineauntsstuff]

Listen I love the ‘dicks being ostracized from his family and self destructs’ trope in fics however

I would like an inverse just once (I could write it but I want this fic to be good so I can enjoy it and I am not the greatest writer) where everyone blows up at him and flat out lays into him and he just goes… okay… if that’s how you feel?

Takes himself off of the patrol routes and rosters. He’s off the emergency calls and his ‘call for city wide emergency’ has been down graded to ‘call for world wide emergency’ he’s no longer on comms with oracle

He stops offering assistance to the other kids teams, doesn’t send info for investigation and doesn’t go within 100feet of Gotham.

Takes himself off the den-mother, baby sitter, trainer for all the younger teams lost that involve any and all bats

In the beginning he vacates his apartment and temporarily moves in with Donna in New York and things are good because of course they are. They’re Dick and Donna a world doesn’t exist where they aren’t okay.

And then his presence in New York leads to a lot of the og core five titans interacting and they realize that they miss each other like hell and start to work together more and more. Until news sites are like ‘teen titans grown up??’ ‘Original titans spotted doing hurricane aid in Florida!’

Because Dick loves his family but he knows when to bow out. And he chose the family he made in the new teen titans.

And then one day one of the bats track him down in nyc and breaks into what is now Dick and Donna’s apartment and are ready to argue that they need him back and need him there for a huge Gotham wide event.

And Dick says ‘sure okay let me get my stuff and we leave in half and hour’ as soon as the first sentence is out

No convincing or begging or asking for money (cough Jason cough)

Dick is patched into their comms and he’s working efficiently except he’s not… acting like himself.

He’s collaborating with whoever they tell him too, no problem, he’s discussing ideal plans and co-ops and teams and how to best get it under control.

But he’s talking to them the way he talks when he’s offering aid to teams he’s not a part of.

Like the hero version of an acquaintance and no one can call him out on it because he’s doing good work. Work that’s on par with his work before this whole fiasco. He explicitly isn’t letting their personal issues affect his work.

He’s speaking but not talking

And Bruce remembers this… he’s probably the only one who does because last time he was the only one included. The last time Dick acted like this is when he first visited Jason and him after he had been fired.

Whenever Bruce was in the room and Dick was forced to speak with him, the conversation never strayed past business casual especially around Jason.

Batman and Nightwing got into screaming matches

Bruce and Dick were strangers

And now they’re back to this, 7 kids later, a million ends of the world stopped, they’ve bled together, cried together and clung to each other in pure relief after they managed to clutch victory.

And Nightwing was treating Batman Inc like a new team stepping onto the scene.

Once they’ve secured everything and managed to keep Bruce from self destructing and making it worse. Dick just leaves and tells oracle that he’ll send over his debrief in 3-5 business days and it was nice working with them.

And then he’s gone

No cave, no manor, no Alfred, no med-bay because Dick doesn’t stay places he’s not welcome.

And after they all talk about that and how weird it was and Bruce reveals Dick did this before when he was Nightwing after Bruce fired, where Dick Grayson didn’t know Bruce Wayne.

And one of the kids asks when he broke and stopped the act and Bruce just says ‘the day he found out Jason died’

And the Batkids kinda freak bc what do you mean?? What is he only going to come back when someone dies? Thats not? There has to be another way?? And Bruce is like yeah no idea sorry (bc he’s helpful like that)

So then Steph the next day resolves to go visit him, Tim isn’t the only professional stalker. And she finds Dick and Donna’s apartment and well it’s daylight and she’s in civvies she’s if she climbs in through the window she might get reported to the NYPD and she doesn’t wanna get arrested or shot to door it is!

And so she goes and knocks and Dick opens the door and just lights up

Something something this is such a nice surprise something something it’s so good to see you.

Dick had taught Donna how to make some of his mother recipes when they were kids. So now whenever they’re together for a long time they cook together.

So Dick who is usually living in a cluttered apartment with no clean dishes and an exclusively grab and go food is now trying to force feed her some of his cooking.

Because he picked up the habit again since he’s the better cook between him and Donna.

And it’s delicious and he wants to catch up and hear everything that’s going on in her life, is she working with new people, dating anyone? How is her relationship with her mother etc etc.

It’s a nice day and she stays late and never confronts him on anything until she sees how long ago the sun set and she needs to get moving.

He hands her paper with his number and makes her promise not to give it to the others or she will lose access to it, he offers to help her on a conditional basis as nightwing but only her, she can call him about the rest if it’s an end of the world or they’re near death and need immediate aid.

And that’s like the fic because the key to winning nightwings assistance is like breathing (optional) but if you’re Dicks family you have to care or else. He’ll love you and help you, when you need it but he won’t tie his life up with yours, he’ll spend his time with people who value his opinion and the person behind the mask.

Anyway cue all the Batkids trying to do what Steph did and fail because they’re neurotic shits who think bonding involves doing casework together or a steak out.

(The next person to crack it is Damian, completely unintentionally he has a fight with Bruce and can’t ask him how the fuck he’s supposed to solve this equation in the new stupid way they’re teaching him no he can’t use the old method they’re supposed to show their work so he pulls up to Dick and Donna’s in a ratty ass hoodie like plz wtf do you mean you work top down explain Grayson- and dicks like awww no problem kid)

[laurfilijames]

Breathe

Part 8

Pairing: Will 'Ironhead' Miller x female reader

Words: 6.2k

Warnings: Rated E, 18+. Swearing. Cockwarming. Unprotected intercourse. Nightmare involving death by asphyxiation. Panic attack. Oral sex (female receiving).

Summary: You and Will finally discuss how to navigate your relationship, and after establishing a comfortable rhythm again, something causes a disruption to test you once more.

A/N: I am over the moon and completely floored at the response to this series and am so thankful to each and every one of you who continues to read it and be excited for it! A big thank you to all my readers as well as @spaghettificationandpretzels for cheering me through this last chapter 💗

photo by @avatarskingdom and edited by me.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

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Will opened his eyes with a smile, feeling relaxed and content, the tension in his neck and shoulders that had been constant since before he left on the op finally gone.

You were still sleeping soundly, tucked up beside him where the curves of your back meshed into his front like you were made to fit him, his arm comfortably draped over your waist.

The sheets barely covered both of your bodies, and the feel of the fan blowing against his bare skin had Will feeling like he never wanted to move, but it seemed someone else thought differently.

The loud bang of cabinet doors and the clink of dishes in the sink pulled another smile across Will’s lips, hearing Benny’s not-so-subtle announcement that he was home, and Will carefully lifted his arm off of you to check the time on his watch, seeing it was well into the morning already and that having a visit with his brother was more than overdue.

You only stirred slightly when Will lifted himself off the bed, adjusting a little as your body subconsciously searched for his, and as he pulled on his boxers he allowed himself to admire you, never able to get over how stunning you were even in your sleep, how divine you looked naked in his bed.

He closed the door quietly behind him, but with all the racket Benny was creating he wasn’t sure why he even bothered, and made his way to the kitchen, shaking his head.

Benny looked at him with a big grin on his face as he entered the room, setting the pan back in the drawer that he had just taken out.

“Oh, I’m sorry, did I wake you?” he said through a laugh.

Will couldn’t help but laugh too, his grin stretching so wide it hurt his cheeks as he stepped toward his brother.

“You’re not fucking sorry.”

“You’re right, I’m not,” Benny admitted, wrapping his arms around Will’s back.

Will returned his embrace, both of them hitting each other firmly on the shoulder a couple of times.

“It’s good to see you, bro,” Will said, realizing he had missed his little brother more than he thought.

“Yeah, you too.”

Will studied Benny as they pulled away from each other, assessing his brother to make sure he wasn't missing if anything was wrong with him, meanwhile fully aware of the fact that he was the one who needed an eye kept on him.

Obviously sensing Will’s feelings, Benny lifted his chin and asked in a serious tone, “How’re you doing, man?”

“I'm good…yeah. I'm good.”

“Yeah?”

Will nodded in confirmation. “Yeah.”

“Are you gonna tell me what happened?” Benny grinned, his question pertaining to you, having seen your car parked in the driveway.

Will shrugged and looked away, unable to help the smile appearing on his face.

“She showed up,” he breathed, the relief he still felt over it showing.

Benny raised his hands to prompt Will for more. “And she's still here so…”

Will nodded again, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

“So what does this mean?”

“I don't know.” Will puffed the air out of his lungs, that bit of alleviation he had just felt tainted by doubt, the realization that you still hadn’t discussed anything making him worry.

Benny covered his face with his hands, groaning loudly.

“Oh my god, you two!” He let his hands fall, looking at Will exasperatedly. “You really just got right down to business, huh?”

Will huffed out a laugh, unable to defend himself. “Yeah.”

“Well stop fucking talking to me, go and figure this shit out!” Benny shouted, shoving Will on the shoulder to turn him around and point him back in the direction of his room.

“I know! Okay!” Will chuckled as he started to move. “Will you be around today?”

“I’m gonna give you two some space and go to the gym, but I’ll be home later.”

“Okay. How did your fight go?” he asked, realizing he hadn’t yet.

Benny smirked, his head held proudly. “Beat him with a 10-8.”

“Atta boy,” Will winked, clapping his shoulder.

“See you later, bro. Glad you’re home.”

“Thanks, Ben. See ya.”

Will walked the rest of the way to his room, carefully opening the door to find you still asleep, and his heart swelled.

He took his boxers off and slipped into bed, gathering you in his arms like you had been before, your sleepy moans making him smile.

His nose nuzzled into your neck, the warm scent of your skin the best thing to ever exist, and he pressed a kiss to the spot between your neck and shoulder, moving his mouth all across and back again, not able to resist.

A lazy hum sounded from you, your body moving against his as you began to wake, your bum rubbing against his groin in a way that made him moan and grind on you.

You rolled over to face him, a soft smile dressing your perfect lips, your eyes hazy with both sleep and adoration as you greeted him.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning, sweetheart,” Will breathed, the weight of almost never experiencing this again hitting him hard.

You traced the line that flanked his mouth with your finger, ghosting it over his upper lip and then down to his bottom one, the fullness of them mesmerizing. Leaning toward him, you kissed him, softly and slowly, like you couldn’t kiss him enough to make up for the time that was lost.

A flood of emotions surged through you, feeling tears sting your eyes, your throat restricting and forcing you to pull away.

You could see the concern in his eyes, and you did your best to meet them but couldn’t, your blurred gaze falling to his chest instead.

“You hurt me.”

A breath shuddered out of him as he reached up and smoothed the side of your head, desperately again and again, his forehead leaning against yours as he fought off tears of his own.

“I know. I’m so sorry.”

He continued to hold your face, his fingers clawing your hair as you both focused on breathing, his nose nudging yours as he shook his head slightly.

“I don’t know what I can do to make it up to you,” he whispered, his voice full of remorse.

“Just be here,” you muttered, taking his hand and holding it in yours, squeezing it. “I can’t go through that again, Will. You need to let me be here for you.”

He nodded, his words small when he spoke. “I know.”

You inhaled deeply, continuing to try to muster your courage to keep speaking.

“I get why…Benny told me about the nightmare – I just wish you felt you could’ve trusted me to understand. I know that I’ll never be able to fathom the things you’ve been through but I can try, Will.”

“I was so stupid,” he muttered. “Of course I trust you. I wasn’t thinking…I didn't want to hurt you, but I didn’t know what else to do. I was scared…”

The shake in his voice and the look in his eyes broke your heart, seeing him so dejected and full of shame, making your tears come out faster.

“It’s okay,” you cried, angling your face toward his more, your lips brushing.

“That nightmare was so real. I couldn't handle the thought of actually hurting you and I'm still convinced I could. You know what I did to that guy in Publix…” he explained, thinking of all the other heinous things he’d done to other human beings.

“That's not going to happen, Will. I don't believe you could ever hurt me.”

“But I did hurt you–” he choked, his eyes so full of pain.

“Will…It's okay. We're okay. I forgive you.”

You kept repeating it, hoping he would believe it, your lips moving to kiss each other tenderly.

Will separated his mouth from yours after a minute, but remained close, his eyes searching over your features as his hand broke the connection with yours, moving it up to cup your cheek and smooth his thumb over it.

“I love you,” he confessed, a surety finally held in his words.

“I love you too, Will,” you returned, a sob following, and he kissed the streaks of tears from your cheeks, eventually moving to your lips.

It wasn’t long before he was covering you with his body, kissing you breathlessly while settling between your legs, his rigid cock nudging your core.

He pushed inside you, stretching you out until you were full of him, his mouth moving off of yours to allow you to take a gasping breath, his nose nuzzling your cheek as the rest of him remained still.

“You’re my everything,” he whispered, resting his forehead on yours as you breathed together, relishing in him being inside you unmoving.

He flexed his cock, and you moaned quietly at the sensation, responding by squeezing your walls around him, your mouths beginning to tease each other again.

“I thought I’d lost you, Will.”

He shook his head, his brows knitted together. “I'm here, sweetheart.”

Will shifted to wrap his arms underneath your body, fully laying on you and holding you as close to him as he could, his cock moving within you as he adjusted making you gasp.

He stilled again, his eyes flickering up from your chest to your lips and then to your own loving gaze, breathing out before crashing his lips against yours.

You tried moving your hips, needing to feel him move inside you, only to have him press himself down harder on you to stop you.

“Shh, not yet, baby. Just let me feel you.”

He stole your air as he kissed you again, hard and claiming, his body heavy and secure on yours, nothing moving on each other but your lips as his tongue filled your mouth.

You felt his cock pulse against your walls, making you even more desperate for him, your fervor increasing wildly as you clenched around him in a tight grip.

He growled against your lips, still trying to hold off, but the feel of your hands beginning to run up and down his back, clawing and tearing at his flesh had him fighting off the urge to take you hard and fast.

As slowly as he could, Will dragged himself out of you, all but his leaking tip, and plunged back in as deep as possible, feeling your soaked hole encase him and your walls flutter around him, swallowing your whines as you writhed beneath him.

He repeated the movement, all the way out and back in again, his mouth leaving yours to travel down your neck, sucking and kissing your sensitive skin as the sound of your intoxicating moans filled the air.

His thrusts were slow but forceful, moving the bed with each blow, the build-up to this bringing you close to your climax quickly.

“I love you,” he uttered against your skin, his lips smearing across your chest as he continued to drive into you hard and purposefully.

“I-I love you too!” you wailed, on the verge of more tears as your body tipped on the edge of bliss, the claim of his love spurring your pleasure even more.

Hearing you return it seemed to encourage him too, his movements growing more powerful, his grunts like music to your ears, and feeling you were close to coming apart, he kissed you again, commanding and needy as you both sought your end.

He held you in the tightest grip as your body tensed and spasmed, bucking into you deeply as he filled you with his hot seed, continuing to move his hips until his cum was leaking out of you.

Your hands ran through his hair, both of you breathless when you halted your kissing, Will’s eyes full of emotion as he looked at you.

“I mean it, sweetheart,” he stressed. “I love you so damn much. I’m so sorry I did that to you.”

He turned his face and kissed the palm of your hand as you cupped his cheek, feeling the softness of his beard against it as you nodded in agreement.

“I know, Will. I know. I love you too.”

He smiled despite tears appearing in his eyes, leaning down to kiss you again, his breath shaking into you.

You stayed as you were for as long as you could, taking each other in as if all the ways you had memorized each other wasn’t enough to satisfy the time you were apart.

Will laid on your chest, his face turned to the side to give you a view of the way his golden eyelashes touched his cheeks, how the hair around his mouth was bleached lighter than the rest, feeling his heart beating against your stomach.

His long fingers ran patterns up and down your waist, following the curve of your hip, the veins that ran through his skin like rivers prominent on his forearms even through his tattoos.

“Where do we go from here?” you wondered out loud, playing with his hair idly, questioning whether it would be better or not to drop right back in where you were before, if it was even possible.

Will sighed, and you watched his eyebrows rise on his forehead. He didn't speak right away, the way he was carefully configuring his answer clear on his features, and after a minute, he sighed again and turned his head, pressing a kiss on your stomach.

“I don't know,” he said, honestly. “I think it might be wise not to rush things…” He paused, shaking his head slightly as he blew air out of his mouth again. “But we said that before and didn't manage that very well.”

He turned his head to look at you and chuckled while you smiled, nodding in agreement.

“I understand if you're hesitant or don't trust me,” he continued, his tone changing to be more serious. “And I can't blame you for that. I know how badly I messed up.”

He propped himself up and shifted, moving up to collect you in his arms and lay beside you on the pillows, switching positions so you rested your head on his chest instead, your lips grazing over the warm skin on his thick pecs.

The truth was that there was no way you could hesitate on loving him, your heart set on belonging to him no matter what you faced, and despite what had happened, you knew you would trust Will with keeping it safe and not breaking it again.

You tilted your head to meet his gaze, your finger reaching up to trace the line beside his mouth, knowing that even if you agreed to take things slow, there was no such thing when it came to your love.

Summarizing it all in the best way you knew how, you smiled and brought your face close to his, your lips brushing his when you spoke.

“All-in. I’m all-in, Will.”

He smiled and you saw his eyes glistening before he rubbed his nose against yours, his hand coming up to hold your face to keep you close to him.

“All-in, sweetheart.”

“Will! WILL!”

His name cut through the dense air in your piercing voice, making a shiver run down his spine, the sweat on the back of his neck feeling like drips of ice.

He looked right and left, everything black, and all he could do was listen, being as still as possible to try to figure out which direction your screams were coming from despite wanting to run as fast as he could to get to you, but all he could hear now was his cold blood pounding in his ears.

“Will!”

Again, only further away this time, and he whipped around only to continue facing complete darkness, his panic rising with each second that passed.

He started sprinting, hearing you begging for your life, your cries and struggle becoming clearer and closer as he moved.

His body hit a wall, his hands frantically searching it for something other than the smooth, hard surface, unable to find its end in his sightless hunt. Reaching a door, he turned the handle only to find it locked, immediately starting to slam his body against it to try to force it open.

Your screams increased, just on the other side, your desperation growing in knowing he was right there, but the door wouldn’t budge.

Will kicked and rammed his shoulder into it over and over, his breathing ragged and laboured as he tried to work through his panic, and finally, it gave in.

He stumbled through, his eyes frantically searching for where you should be, only to find the space where he had so vividly heard your screams completely empty.

“Will! Please!” you wailed, the sound distant again and making his stomach lurch that he couldn’t get to you.

Room after room appeared, all of them empty even though he swore he could hear you in each one, and he began yelling back for you, trying to keep you talking so he was able to follow your pained voice.

“No! No, please!” he heard you beg, your voice full of terror and quieter than it had been before, and then it was silent.

Will continued to search every room, and after opening the doors of about twenty more, he finally found you laying in the center of the room.

You were facing the other way, unmoving, your form limp on the cold, concrete floor.

His heart was in his throat, and he could barely capture a breath, stepping toward you hesitantly in fear of what he was about to discover.

His knees struck the ground and he reached for you, pulling on your shoulder to turn you over, the cold of your skin telling him exactly what he already knew.

A sob escaped his mouth before his cries filled the air, tears blurring the sight of your lifeless face, the colour of your lips darkened by death.

He pawed at you, trying to shake you awake, his mouth instinctively covering yours to try to give you his air even though he knew it was pointless.

Something cold fell against his hand and he stopped his efforts to revive you, bile rising in his throat when his eyes focused enough to see what it was.

Two silver tags were dangling from your neck, the chain wrapped so tightly around your throat that it was embedded in your flesh, your skin marked with bruises and cuts from it cutting off your air flow, the information listed in the embossed writing all things Will knew by heart.

MILLER

WILLIAM J.

196-37-5436

O POS

NONE

Will screamed himself awake, flying up in bed gasping for air, his cheeks wet with tears and his heart furiously pounding in his chest so hard he clapped his hand over it in fear it would stop or jump out.

His panic continued, realizing you weren’t in bed with him, his body shaking as he tore the twisted sheets off his legs and stood.

With the nightmare so fresh in his head, every door he passed had him feeling sick, but he pressed on, moving toward the kitchen in the dark as quickly as he could.

His feet nearly slipped on the hardwood floor from his sweat, his breathing not slowing, and a relieved gasp shuddered out of him when he stepped into the kitchen and saw you standing at the counter pouring yourself a glass of water.

The small light above the stove illuminated your half-clothed body, his t-shirt covering just enough to keep you modest, and you turned around the moment you heard him come in.

“Hey, I–,” you started, your face falling in seeing the state he was in. “Will, what happened?”

You basically threw your glass in the sink and stepped toward him, holding either side of his face where you searched his wild eyes, his breathing short and gulping in his distress.

“Will, listen to me, breathe…” you stressed, trying your best to keep calm, forcing your own breaths slowly out of your mouth to get him to follow suit.

He nodded in your hands, his eyes closing as he worked to focus, the skin around them crinkling in his efforts that almost seemed to cause him pain.

You counted slowly, your voice calm and even, feeling your heart break the longer it went on and he had only settled slightly.

“Will, look at me, I’m here,” you reminded him, exhaling again as his eyes flashed open and locked with yours, his head shaking back and forth as he swallowed hard and his broken voice echoed in the kitchen.

“It happened again–”

You gathered him in your arms, thankful when he did the same, his grip on you so tight you wondered if your ribs would crack but didn’t care, soothingly running your fingers up and down his wet back as he gripped at you like he needed to prove you were there.

“It’s okay. It’s not real.”

You repeated it over and over until he eventually relaxed against you, his mouth smearing across your neck before peppering kisses onto it, his hands still groping and pawing at your form.

He sighed out deeply as he peeled away from you, his hands running up your waist where they pulled your shirt up with them, his eyes switching to have a desperation in them that differed from before.

Will clasped your face and angled it toward him, leaning down to capture your lips in a tender kiss, able to feel the tremble in his fingers from his lingering panic.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he breathed.

You returned his kiss. Once, then twice.

“Are you okay?”

He leaned his forehead on yours, sighing out slowly again.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I’m okay. You’re okay…” he said, reassuring himself.

He kissed you again, deeper this time, drawing in a long inhale as he did.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he whispered when he parted the seal of your lips briefly, taking another breath before crashing against them again.

You moaned into his mouth, your legs feeling weak to his advances, feeling his cock hardening against you through his boxers.

His tongue explored your mouth, his fervor increasing quickly thanks to the adrenaline coursing through him, his hands slipping under your shirt to stroke your naked sex.

“Will…” you breathed, inhaling sharply as he slid his fingers between your folds and fingered you.

He kissed down your neck and then up to your ear, his breath making your shiver, and as he hooked his fingers inside you to massage your g-spot, he grabbed your earlobe with his teeth and tugged on it, a low growl making you melt.

“Turn around, sweetheart,” he growled, not giving you the chance to comply as he guided you to face the counter before you could even move.

You planted your hands on the ledge, gripping it tightly while spreading your legs apart and hinging slightly at your hips, granting him access to where you both needed him to be.

You heard him tear down his boxers, and you gasped when you felt his cock land between your legs, nudging at your center where he dragged it back and forth, his lips landing on your neck while his hands grabbed at the hem of your shirt to lift it over your ass.

“I need you, baby,” he groaned, kissing your neck until you were squirming.

You tilted your head to expose more of you, sighing out as you relished in the feel of his lips on the space between your shoulder and nape.

“I'm right here, Will,” you assured, permitting him to do what he wanted with you while reminding him that whatever happened in his tortured mind was false.

His hand splayed out over your stomach, holding you against him as he pushed inside you, and you let your head fall back onto his shoulder as he began sliding in and out of you, his pace determined and steady.

You reached your arm up behind you, your fingers finding his hair, raking through it while he continued to kiss and suck on your neck as he fucked you, his hand that was on your belly falling to your clit where he rubbed it purposefully.

“Fuck, Will…” you moaned, your breathing growing ragged with each second that passed with him rutting into you.

His hand that wasn’t between your legs explored you everywhere else, pulling at your nipples through the worn cotton of his t-shirt, the soft plush of your breasts being squeezed in his large palm, grabbing at you desperately and thoroughly.

“Come for me, sweetheart,” he growled beside your ear, his thrusts increasing. “I need to feel you cream on my cock.”

His demand and the sensation of his mouth continuing to attack your neck sent you over the edge, his dick slamming against your g-spot and his fingers toying your swollen clit making you do exactly as you were told, feeling your release soak his fat cock.

Will didn’t falter, keeping his tempo with his hand planted firmly on your cunt, the only change being his breathing turning ragged and his grunting sounding louder in your ear.

“Again,” he ordered, “I want to keep feeling you.”

The tone of his voice made you gasp, your arousal pushed beyond any limits, knowing he couldn’t get enough of feeling you fluttering and squeezing and creaming around him keeping that heat billowing at the base of your spine.

You rocked to his movements, meeting him in his thrusts, equally as eager to feel him fill you up and throb inside you at the same time you lost all control again.

You tore at his forearms, clawing him frantically as you leaned back against him, relying on him to keep you upright instead of bracing yourself on the counter.

“That’s it,” he purred in your ear. “I’m right there, too. I need you to come with me.”

“Fuck!” you wailed, your pleasure spiking as his one hand squeezed your breast, plucking and pinching your hard nipple between his fingers.

“You feel so fucking good, sweetheart,” he groaned. “I love you so much.”

Will held you tighter, keeping you as close to him as possible as he slammed into you, his lips landing on your neck where he could feel your pulse hammering against them.

You were completely alive, breathing and writhing with life in his arms, your blood flowing in every part he touched, his hands awakening every fiber in you.

There was no questioning the falsity of his dream now, your euphoria solidifying your vitality, your body full of life as it shuddered with vigor because of him, the devastation of being the reason you wouldn’t breathe again leaving him with each second he was encased in you.

His hips stuttered as he emptied himself deep inside you, coating your walls that pulsed around him, his eyes falling closed as he began to slow his movements and relished in feeling your hand reaching up to card through his hair.

You hummed softly, the sound vibrating on his lips that he kept pressed on your neck, breathing you in as he listened to your heart thrumming strong and steadily, your body relaxing against his as you both came down to a place of calm.

When he slipped out of you, you spun around, looking up at him sweetly with the most warmth and care in your eyes.

“I love you too, Will,” you whispered, your hands laying flat on his bare chest where you smoothed them upward, holding his scruffy face in your hands. “More than anything.”

He huffed a small laugh, one corner of his mouth lifting as he gave a coy smile, making you love him even more than you thought possible.

“Are you ready to go back to bed?” you asked, wondering if his terror from his nightmare had dissipated or if the thought of closing his eyes again filled him with dread.

He hummed, looking down at the floor before back at you. “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep,” he admitted.

“That’s okay. I’m happy to stay awake with you.” You leaned in and kissed his lips softly, pulling away only slightly, dropping your voice to a murmur. “Whatever you need from me, Will, I’m here.”

Your words held so much more than just one meaning, making the ache and residual panic in his heart settle even more, and he found he couldn’t stop staring at the vibrance of your eyes, the spirit in them helping bring him a sense of ease.

“I just need you,” he spoke, his voice quiet but rough with a mix of lust and strain from his anxiety.

Will didn’t exactly want to return to his bed, preferring to stay in the kitchen or go lay with you on the couch, but knew you had already risked enough by having sex where you did, aware that Benny could’ve walked in at any point.

Accepting it was the only option, Will sighed and held your hand, taking you with him to his room, happy with the fact that no matter where he was, being with you was where he felt safe and at home.

You went to crawl back into bed when you got inside and shut the door, but Will stopped you, tugging your hand that was still entwined with his, pulling you into him.

You smiled against his lips, your foreheads touching, and Will breathed, closing his eyes as he let his hands roam your body.

“Hang on, sweetheart,” he whispered, his hands grabbing the hem of your shirt to pull it over your head.

His face dove to your neck, kissing a trail over your collarbone and down to your chest, his hands grabbing at your warm, supple flesh, every touch another reminder that you were very much alive.

He moved lower, sinking to his knees as he went, his mouth sucking and smearing wet kisses over your stomach and now your thighs.

Your hands wove through his hair, your breathy moans sounding above him as you anticipated the next part of you he would touch, giving him more evidence that he needed to forget the things his mind had tried to trick him into believing.

As Will met your cunt with his lips, slowly and tantalizingly licking through your folds, he vowed to spend every moment awake loving you, your body his refuge and temple to worship, your heart beating with a furious love just the same as his.

It was fairly quiet considering it was Sunday, and for that, Will was thankful.

You had already navigated the grocery store together, something he had come to appreciate more than you would ever understand, and were now making a quick stop at the hardware store.

Running errands with you put him at ease, the seemingly simple and mundane task typically a feat for him to tackle, but he knew he could face anything as long as he was with you.

“Oh, we should pop in the bakery after,” you suggested, looking out the window somewhat excitedly as Will parked in front of the hardware store beside it.

“You can run in now if you want.”

You turned your head to look at him questioningly, your eyes searching him to verify the confidence in his recommendation, clearly worried and always fully aware that he didn’t like going into stores solo.

“It’s okay, I can just go in with you and we can go together after,” you tried, only to make Will shake his head as he reached his hand over the console and took yours.

“I’m fine, I’m only grabbing light bulbs and some oil for the lawn mower, I promise I won’t hurt anyone.”

You smiled only when his own grin stretched out on his face, a look of understanding and surety appearing on your features.

“Okay, sounds good.”

You went to reach for the door handle, only to be stopped by him tugging the hand he wouldn’t let go of toward him, turning back to face him where he leaned over the center that separated the two seats.

“Not without a kiss,” he purred, looking at your lips through his long eyelashes that gleamed in the sunlight.

You smiled and met your lips with his, lingering a moment before you could get too carried away.

“See you soon, sweetheart.”

Will was thankful for his pleasant enough experience, quickly finding what he needed and reaching the cash register to check out without any interactions with anyone other than the older gentleman who owned the store and rang him through, walking out of the door that chimed as he left while tucking his wallet back in the back pocket of his jeans.

He looked up as he took a couple steps, only to stop dead in his tracks, seeing you standing outside the bakery having what looked like a too-friendly of a conversation with a man he had never seen before.

He did his best to assess the situation, trying to read the body language of both you and him, and the longer he took in the scene, the angrier he grew.

You seemed somewhat nervous or uncomfortable, touching your hair a little more than normal, taking a subtle step back as the man leaned in closer.

Your polite giggle filled the air, and the man beamed whenever you did, his eyes unashamedly flickering all over your body and constantly on your chest, making the rage inside Will bubble to the surface.

“I’d still really like to take you out for that dinner,” he heard the man say, and before Will could hesitate any longer, he was closing the distance between you.

The man smirked and tilted his head slightly, eyeing Will up and down when he approached and immediately landed his hand on the small of your back, glancing lower to watch you place your hand on Will’s stomach that rose and fell with deep breaths.

“Sorry…uh, I’m Cam,” he introduced, shooting Will a confused look as he extended his hand.

Will didn’t accept it, instead continuing to stare him down, his voice tense when he spoke.

“Did you get what you needed, sweetheart?” he asked you, still holding eye contact with the stranger he was imagining landing a right hook to his square jaw.

“Yeah, I did, I’m ready to go,” you said sweetly, a nervous shake noticeable in your voice.

Will could feel the tension coursing through you, your muscles rigid as you walked to the truck with his hand still on your back, looking at the ground until you reached the passenger door that he opened for you.

He closed it once you hopped in, glancing over at the man who was staring in your direction, Will remaining fixed in place until this ‘Cam’ finally surrendered and turned to walk away.

Will sighed as he walked around the front of the truck, getting in and closing the door, but not slamming it like he wanted to.

“Will I–” you began, stammering to explain.

“It’s fine,” he cut off, his tone sharp. “I broke up with you.”

He was more mad at himself than anything else, still unable to believe how stupid he was for having let you go, a flood of emotions running through his veins.

He breathed out slowly, nodding and closing his eyes when he felt the soft comfort of your hand cover his.

“How could I have expected it not to happen? Look at you, you're the most gorgeous woman in the world and I let you go.”

“Nothing happened,” you stated, the surety in your voice making Will turn to look at you. “I was out with Nicole and Grace and he came over to our table. He asked for my number and if I was interested in going for dinner with him. I wasn’t even thinking, I was numb…” you paused, the remembrance of your hurt plastered on your face. “I said yes but never followed through. I was in line at the bakery and he was there behind me and said hello.”

Will nodded, relieved at your words, but still found it difficult to come up with his own.

He swallowed hard and looked straight ahead out the windshield at the people passing by on the sidewalk, remembering all too well how it felt to know his ex was cheating on him every time he deployed, yet never once did he feel as possessive and threatened as he did now.

“You have nothing to worry about, Will,” you assured, squeezing his hand three times, giving a soft smile when he finally looked over at you. “I love you. I only want you, and that was the same even when you weren’t with me.”

Will leaned over and kissed you, hard and claiming, his hand holding the side of your face in a grip that told you just as much as his kiss did.

There was a mix of things in his wild, cerulean eyes when he pulled away from you, making your heart hammer even faster in your chest.

“I don’t think I’ll ever deserve you, sweetheart,” he began. “But I will spend every second trying to.”

---

Part 9

Taglist:

@sotwk @dailydragon08 @sunnys-day @thedreadandthefugitivemind @glassgulls

@littlenosoul @glitterypirateduck @momia2910 @maggotzombie @rmwarn90

@paintlavillered @casa-boiardi @stealfromthedevil @kmc1989 @justreblogginfics

@spaghettificationandpretzels @whatever-lmaoo @steviebbboi @charethcutestory02

@christinhunnam @hp-hogwartsexpress

[terraliensvent]

A blast from the past: terras and ip grabbing

so im sure some of you have seen this post over on csmingy, and zaga had actually reached out to me here to post on their actions in terras as well

for the uninformed, zaga (creator/former owner of isopups) was the original site coder for terraliens. recently, they've decided to come out about the circumstances surrounding the original terra vent blog and the ip grabbing, stating that THEY were the one who originally did so after pressure from civ and coy. (and if you weren't here for the doxxing issue, just read through this)

and as an aside: from my personal recollection of actively following the original blog and even having post notifs on, i dont remember any death threats being posted to that blog. what i do remember is the original discussion on kinah being that they were "greedy" for dropping an adopt batch on their birthday, and others bitching about petty shit to that effect. my memory could be wrong, but even at the time i thought the content of the original vent blog was blown way out of proportion.

anyway, on with the screenshots:

(edit to specify: in this screen i say Kinah was the one to influence zaga to IP grab, but later zaga corrected me to state that it was mainly civ and coy, with kinah's situation and attempt influencing them, not kinah directly)

along with this, i was given an imgur gallery of screenshots (lemon and tuna = zaga)

here are some i thought were interesting:

Later on civ says this:

more incriminating shit:

this proves they definitely did have a fucking spec-ops investigation to ip grab nearly everyone involved with the blog, getting people's locations and making spoofed urls. honestly, im not even totally sure how they landed on the people they did as the supposed owners of the blogs, seeing as they were going based off of location and there are a lot of people living in australia. additionally you can see civ blowing things out of proportion on a few messages like this one:

which, that is a completely reasonable thing to say!! if youre making attempts on your life over a closed species, maybe it would help you to remove yourself from that space, just a thought.

and finally the cherry on top of the shit sundae:

they didnt even ban the right fucking person

i highly recommend reading all the screens, it's a whole rollercoaster and not once do either of them think theyre in the wrong for being incredibly invasive, using spoofed links to grab IPs, picking out a random person because they said they lived in melbourne (which has a population of over 5 million) and then doubling down saying "erm but guys we didnt release the info we just used deceptive means to ban them but it turns out the person we banned wasnt even the right one oopsies!"

in fact, according to zaga, the IP they got wasn't even linked to a home address, it was tied to a satellite ping tower, so the user who's IP they tracked could have very well not even been in melbourne. so they just caused a shitload of anguish to Mal for no reason and refused to take it back, even after they realized they fucked up. full explanation here:

finally, zaga did link me to their apology doc regarding isos. i wont go in depth on it because this isnt isopups venting, but ill drop it here anyways for anyone who's interested: link

overall, i dont want to bash zaga crazy heavily over this, seeing as it looks like theyre on a pretty big apology tour right now for their actions here as well as in isopups. they stated in my dms: "I also want to clarify while I wasn’t sorry for it last year, it’s been a long time since this and I feel immense shame and guilt for it, which is why I’m coming out about it," and given their current actions of laying everything out here + the iso doc, i want to say that theyre making a change and i cant knock them for apologizing.

i will say though, that these messages are incredibly fucking damning for civ and OG terra staff, and i will absolutely criticize civ for them since their actions here are pretty consistent with their behavior in every single following controversy: doubling down, blowing shit out of proportion while simultaneously downplaying their own actions, and "everyone is at fault but me"

what a great throwback thursday

[shiraishi--kanade]

Oh I'm not denying your right to analyse her, she's equally as fascinating to me and in my own eyes she's a combination of generational trauma and living vicariously through her daughter taken to the extreme by perhaps personal sadistic tendencies. We're given hints at Mafumom was probably coming out of poverty or at least financially insecure position; we're also given hints that she did not receive higher education and depends entirely financially on her husband, which is not a good position to be in regardless of their relationship, and pushing Mafuyu towards a high-paying career at the cost of her mental health might've been a good trade off in her mind. This is an interesting probability worth considering, as well as the other ones I laid out.

My addition was less directed at you trying to find a reason to her actions (aside from the last two paragraphs, but that's just me getting personal¹) and more about that I think the approach towards it is incorrect. Much every action she does that seems unreasonable or needlessly cruel can be explained by her being abusive and wanting absolute control and authority over the situation, a part of a much larger scheme & plan that took her years to realize;

Instead of focusing on the cases where she's shown to be cruel and trying to explain them individually (when they are very simply explained by the fact that Mafuyu is the target of manipulation and abuse), it is in my opinion more productive to grab her character as a whole and ask "Why is she like this?" question. Less of "why did she do this bad thing in that situation (because she operates on abuser logic, most likely)" and more of "what brought her to the position where she considers doing all of this to her daughter to be justified/normal?" approach, which is on itself I think is a good question to ask and wonder about. I just think the scope of abuse is too overwhelming to try to pick apart every single instance we're shown on screen and it needs to be considered through a larger lense of their relationship as a whole, or else we're missing important context.

Though I'd argue it's hard to tell if she doesn't know she did anything wrong or she feels like she didn't do anything wrong because of her sense of entitlement towards Mafuyu, and feeling entitled to forgiveness/love/obedience regardless of the horrific abuse she consciously initiated. "I didn't do anything wrong" vs "I did hurt her but she should have forgiven me because I'm doing it out of love and love is never wrong", and her own words in Farewell to my Persona seem to indicate towards the latter, for what it's worth. These beliefs may be hard to tell apart and in my opinion she hasn't spoken enough after third anniversary for us to confidently make the call. She is... A lot.

¹ - also it's not directed at anyone actually trying to make sense of what might've pushed her to that. It is more so than I hope Sega never confirms anything and sets it in stone and doesn't spoon feed us the explanation because I just feel like it would be poor taste and make a lot of people sympathise with Mafuyu less. Explain not justify, etc. Or at least if this does happen, she isn't forgiven or her actions aren't narratively justified. It's also just entirely possible there is no reason to her actions and she's just... Like that.

The more I read Mafuyu's stories the more confused I am about why her mom is like that. She has the temperament of a good parent, being able to control her emotions, but she chooses to guilt trip her kid who was probably scared after getting lost? She reacted calmly at first, but went about scolding her like Mafuyu is intentionally hurting her by getting lost instead of getting lost because she's a kid and stuff happens.

Like, if you can stay calm enough that your first response is to not scold her but check in on her, why would you guilt trip your kid after? A simple, don't it again, would've scared a kid enough to not do it again. But no! It's you're turning out to be a bad girl instead. Oh I'm sorry, who wasn't paying attention to her kid in a busy theme park? Not Mafuyu, but you

Girl could've been kidnapped and you'd have found a way to blame her, honestly

Honestly it seems like her mom is the culmination of the worst of toxic culture mixed into one and making it generational. I'm still gonna believe my theory that it's generational and that Mafuyu is breaking the generational trauma.

If Mafuyu really did end up being a doctor, what then? Yeah she would've been a great one, but what then? Being in the medical field ia stressful enough, add to it her not being able to feel her own emotions, what's gonna happen to the patients who needs their doctors to go beyond the physical and Mafuyu can't provide that?

What was the point of all that she did?

Mafuyu's mental state is shattered, add to it the stress of the medical field, it's easy to see where it'll end up. Again add to it the toxic work culture Japan has, if she gets lucky she gets a normal hospital, if not, good luck. That girl is gone and never moving up to be a successful doctor with her people pleasing facade. They're gonna take advantage of her.

Honestly, Mafuyu isn't even my favorite on the priority list, but the fact her mom exists is the only reason I want to dissect her. As a (young) adult with a somewhat good upbringing, she confuses me. No matter how hard I try to think from her perspective I can't. And as someone getting how to care for yourself advice now, she confuses me even more. Work all the time is obviously not optimal but that's just how it is in her head. It is optimal because Mafuyu is focused on that, she'll get it. Which isn't true, as Farewell my mask shows, girl cannot focus because test day is near and the stress of upsetting her mom pretty much makes her crash and burn.

I have so much thoughts. It's getting too long.

[lesbiandanhowell]

you know what time it is

Sam reacts to: Dan and Phil are Getting Divorced

First of all the title had me GAGGED but also I love the way they clickbait without clickbaiting? They know thar we've learned not to take any of the titles too serious so it's just like an inside joke by now.

- I have played this before with a friend so I know the story and can judge if they are being stupid or good at it. UPDATE: They are incredible, like they are endlessly better than me and my friend were. Funfact: I played it with a friend after she broke up with her girlfriend and didn't have anyone to play it with anymore

- The different buttons on Xbox vs Switch IS A CRIME so true Phil.

- It looked like Phil wanted an answer after "we can do team work!" and just didn't get one, sad moment.

- The household chores banter is so domestic fuxk me j am crying (live reaction I will leave this unedited)

- "That is also sucking not blowing" OKAY THEN. Despite all the openings for innuendos this video has surprisingly little innuendos or even half dirty jokes? Very kid friendly language.

- I am sorry but Dan's lack of reaction at Phil calling himself husband has me raising an eyebrow, like Dan is not fazed because it happens all the time.

- They are working together so much better than I expected you can tell they have a inherent connection. This is obviously the type of game they are more used to playing and their shared brain from sharing a life for 14 years becomes so clear in the way they play together.

- How are they already codependent in a game they played about 20 minutes... (Phil saying he doesn't want to play alone).

- "Highfive me motherfucker!" That made me laugh out loud because it is SO Dan.

- "They could just go to therapy" - the friend who recommends everyone therapy after they went, we all have them.

- They have such a intrinsic way they work together? Like when they are confronted with a task where they have to work together, they don't even have to discuss who does what it just works out organically. That only comes from being together as long as they have and being such a perfect match.

- Phil knocking Dan's head >>>> love language for real

- "Which one?" Daniel Howell you are a homosexual I don't think Phil was asking if you'd smash the woman?!

- This is the most real Dan we have ever seen. Yes he will trick Phil into getting him killed but he also GENUINELY compliments Phil when doing well or winning a minigame, like that we don't get in their competitions.

- "Excellent work Lester" The last name use got me feeling some type of way not sure why.

- Dan: "I've been on grindr" Phil: "You literally made me die saying that"

- They are SUCH a good team, nothing shows this more than co-op games.

My biggest take away from this was just how much they praise and compliment each other? They are so polite and appreciative and say thank you and everything so many times in this video, probably more than in any other gaming video we have seen before. I think this is how they play video games together personally and I am glad we got to see this calm, less chaotic and to me more real version of them. I enjoy their competitiveness but this was a very wholesome insight into another side of them.

Can't wait for the next part because if they don't finish this game series I will commit crimes.

[decepti-thots]

☕️ A character you don't talk about a lot, but still enjoy.

sorry i got distracted and then fell asleep last night before i got back to these jksfdhjs ANYWAY

i don't talk a lot about idw1 windblade but i really love her and should probably discuss her more, especially given what a big role she has in the comics as a whole. she's great! i think they really struck gold with the idea of having a neutral, non-cybertronian PoV character for the franchise's big attempt at a 'post-war' story. it allows for that to come into starker relief as more than just something the audience takes completely for granted as a normal part of the franchise.

a lot of people try and 'fix' Windblade by giving her more baggage or whatever, but like. her being a nice, fairly "normal" person is what makes it work IMO. (especially since this is not necessarily a function of just her being from off-world; idw chromia blows people up! the camiens have massive power struggles about religion building! elita's... everything!) it gives us that contrast which allows us to reassess other characters like Starscream who, because almost everyone in this fictional universe is unhinged in the extreme, we almost start to forget are like. you know. that. (this is also a role Aileron fulfills in the OP ongoing.) and then it gives her so many things to bounce off of, because her comparative steadfastness puts her into conflict with almost everyone, and also she's trying to do diplomacy about it instead of fighting, so like. you have a great set up there.

anyway writing this made me realise i want windblade and aileron to be post-canon friends so goddamn bad, oh man oh man

[apocalypticgargoyle]

𝙎𝙐𝘾𝙆 & 𝘽𝙇𝙊𝙒 ☆ 𝙨𝙖𝙥𝙣𝙖𝙥 𝙨𝙢𝙪𝙩

∘ request: 

goddamn your writing is so good 🥵 any chance you’d be able to write something with sapnap where you’re both at a party and know each other through friends but not well and you’re both a bit tipsy and he just can’t control himself and drags you into a bathroom? kinda fluffy where there’s lots of kissing but also desperate and accidentally rough (because the idea of someone wanting me so much that they lose control is a major thing of mine)

∘ pairing: sapnap x fm!reader

∘ warnings: nsfw (18+),  party scene, drinking, crude language

∘ links: ao3

∘ word count: ~2000

a/n: Thank you so much for the request! I literally have the exact same thing so i think we’re soulmates or something. I hope you enjoy!

For the duration of the day, you’d been waiting for this moment. Your hair tangling amongst itself as you danced to the music with a group of your friends was almost a baptism for you. No longer were you restricted into your business casual attire and socially acceptable behavior. Now you were free to forget your name and responsibilities as mashups of different genres of heavily bass boosted music pulsed in your ears.

The large house was swelling with people, melding together as if their lives depended on the superficial human connection the beat could bring them. Many of them you recognized from some of your lectures; it had been a day where your classmates had planned a party for someone’s birthday. You hated to admit it, but you didn’t know or care whose party it was, you were just happy to have an excuse not to study.

You’d already lost one of your rings and your clothes were sticking to your body from the layer of sweat glistening against your skin, but you wouldn’t trade it for anything. As cliché as it sounded, going to random college parties had equated to your own kind of religion. These senseless addresses were homes to a different kind of worship, but one you had quickly become devoted to. The smell of another girl’s perfume rubbing off on you and the nameless identity of the boy that offered you hard liquor were your new sacraments.

As the song died out, beginning a new string of beats to thunder around the room, you found yourself out of breath. You gestured to your friends that you were refilling your drink, but really you were in search of air that was a bit fresher. You wove through the heavy crowd, ending up in the kitchen and beelining for the fridge. There was a small group of boys standing around the keg, one of them filling his cup as they discussed something a few of them were getting heated about.

You tucked a cold water bottle against your side and grabbed a clean solo cup. As you got closer, you would hear what they were talking about. “I don’t know how you don’t remember that. It was like a big thing a few years ago?” One of them grumbled as his eyes narrowed at the liquid streaming into his cup.

“Sorry, Nick. I forgot they were selling kids on eBay. I honestly don’t see-” They continued on into overlapping ramblings that you couldn’t help but laugh at. One of them, that had been referred to as Nick, looked almost too familiar to you. Yet as you stood there, you couldn’t remember even if your life depended on it.

Nick’s eyes drifted to you as if just realizing you were standing there. “Sorry, do you refill?” He asked, mustering a somewhat shy smile. You snapped out of your train of thought, handing your cup to him.

“I didn’t mean to seem like a creepy, sorry,” you stated, sending him an awkward laugh. His lips parted in a smile. His dark hair was slightly ruffled, probably just from the weather earlier in the day. You weren’t sure if it was your slight buzz or the close proximity, but God, he looked good to you.

“No, I was hogging. It was my bad,” he answered. You brushed your hair off of your warm forehead and he looked up at you from what he was doing, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. “I think I know you from somewhere,” he mumbled before something clicked behind his eyes as he handed you your cup back. “Oh, you’re Clay’s friend, right? I’m his roommate, Nick.” At his words, your brain clouded with embarrassment as memories of him finally fled your brain.

You smirked slightly. “Oh! Yeah, sorry I didn’t recognize you. You look…” You paused for a second. Where were you going with this statement? Hotter? “Grown-up,” you wheezed, making him chuckle again. “- I mean, since freshman year English, I guess.”

He chewed the inside of his cheek, attempting not to grin wider. “Yeah, you look… grown-up too,” he offered, sending you a slight smirk. “It’s weird how close you and Dream are and I never see you around anymore,” he continued.

You chuckled a bit, wetting your lips. “Yeah, I told Clay I had a crush on you and he kicked me out,” you joshed, making him laugh. For as quiet as you remembered him being, you were shocked he was engaging with you in the way he was. Maybe it was just the atmosphere and the alcohol that had him loosened up. Whatever it was, you found yourself partnering with him in beer pong and spending most of the night at each other's side.

You sat closely to him on a couch in one of the several living rooms, your heads set close together as you listened to what he was saying over the music. “Hey, you too found each other,” a deep voice bounded, making you jump slightly, almost spilling your drink on Nick. Clay plopped down on the other side of you, wrapping his arm around the back of your section of couch to tug on Nick’s ear.

“Why didn’t you tell me Nick was a stud now?” you joked, slightly cringing about how bold you sounded. Nick chuckled at your words, swatting Clay’s hand away from him and taking another sip from his cup.

Clay setted further into the spot beside you. “You guys wanna play ‘suck and blow’?” He stated, more to the group of people around you guys. You furrowed your brows at him, almost wanting to roll your eyes at Clay’s blatant mission to set you and Nick up together. But who were you to avoid his attempts.

The card was passed successfully around the group, until it got to Clay, whose breath you could practically feel on the other side of the thick paper. You turned to give it to Nick but dropped it at the last second, making his lips press against yours. It was almost like he was expecting it because he was utterly calm at your action, nearing leaning in on his own accord. There were cat-calling noises made from the group as the kiss ended briefly. “Ope, looks like you guys are gonna have to leave the circle,” Clay stated with an almost sing-song tone in his voice. You were thankful that you had turned towards Clay enough that Nick couldn’t see your jokingly scornful look.

“Well, that’s just too bad. We were so good at this,” Nick chided as the two of you stood to leave. You ruffled Clay’s hair as the two of you left, following Nick into another room. “Would you want to… go somewhere quiet?” Nick asked, his eyes flashing to yours. Your eyebrow perked in his direction before you wordlessly slipped your hand into his.

You found yourself in the bathroom, Nick's hands settling on your hips as he pressed his lips against yours. You let out a sharp moan as he ground his hips against yours, yearning for more friction. Your fingers dug into his hair as his tongue slipped into your mouth, hungry for your taste. His breath was like a drug for you as he groaned into your mouth, moving against you.

His lips left your mouth but only to caress your jaw before settling against your neck, sucking on the skin with a slight sting. You tilted your head back, giving him more access to you before wrapping a leg around him, begging him to go further with you. He chuckled at your neediness, his warm breath fanning over your neck. He tugged the strap of your dress down your arm, pressing his lips against the newly exposed skin, grinding against you. The taste of cheap beer passed between the two of you.

One of his hands slipped beneath your dress to squeeze your ass, pulling you tighter against his jeans, encouraging you to ride his thigh. "I want you," he moaned unevenly in your ear, sending heat straight to your core. You wanted him to completely ruin you, to show you what was hiding beneath the surface of his reserved nice guy barrier.

You answered his words by attending to his zipper, slipping your hands into his jeans and stroking him against his boxers. A moan broke through his teeth, his lips crashing against yours as you egged him on. His erection grew stronger with each of your movements. You could tell he was becoming desperate to ravage you with each of his restrained breaths.

Your teeth dug into his bottom lip, your fingers pushing his pants to the ground as he pressed himself against you. He pushed your underwear aside, answering your silent pleas. Pressing his lips against your neck again, he drove himself into you, earning a blissed out moan from you. A breath of pleasure and relief escaped his chest at the feeling of you instantly tightening around him.

He thrusted into you, as if testing the waters as you moaned his name against his skin. One of your arms tightened around his shoulder as he held you in place, setting his pace. The mix of alcohol and pleasure you were feeling with each snap of his hips was sending your head reeling. He pushed his tongue into your mouth, fingers digging into your skin. You moaned against his lips, sending him to speed up his movements. A sense of roughness came out in him as he pounded into you harder, and you were eating it up. You fingers dug into his hair, pulling tightly to earn a groan from him.

Your hands slipped beneath his shirt, raking against his back, urging him to use you like a flashlight. "Fuck, you feel so good," he groaned, voice husky with some type of forced restraint as if he wouldn't let it come out evenly. You tightened around him, moving in what little space he'd given you to grind against him.

With that, he began to thrust into you harder, as if he was finally giving into whatever he was attempting to hold back. His teeth dug into your shoulder with each pulsing movement, driving himself deeper into you. Ungodly moans left your lips, only confirming his actions as he hungrily chased his high, dragging you with him.

His paces became less rhythmic and more sloppy as he gripped onto you, your fingers digging into his skin as you felt your orgasm was just within reach. You tightened your leg around him, your head swimming as he began to hit your sweet spot repeatedly. With a nearly choked out moan of his name, your body flushed with relief, your climax ripping through you. Nick succumbed to his own as if he'd been waiting for you, the two of you leaning against each other for support as you rode out your highs.

After you caught your breath, you reapplied a layer of lipstick, eyeing Nick through the reflection of the mirror as he stood behind you, straightened his clothes. "Let's not tell Clay about this, purely because he'll make it weird," you stated, turning and evening out his hoodie strings.

He chuckled slightly. "Oh, I agree completely. Don't tell Clay." His sly smirk nearly drew you in as you pressed your lips against his again, a promise that you'd definitely be seeing each other again.

[the-iceni-bitch]

Territory Getting Hotter

Pairing: Carol Danvers x enhanced!Fem Reader

Words: ~2.9k

Summary: You’ve made another mess for the Avengers and they find out about your relationship with Captain Danvers

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (fe receiving oral sex, use of toys, squirting, overstimulation, light dom aspects), mentions of canon level violence, SMUT!!!! 18+ ONLY!!!!

A/N: I love these two!!! Dom!Carol is it you guys, wow. Also, reader is such a massive pain in the ass and I love her for it, I can’t wait to piss off every single Avenger with her antics.

Check out my masterlist and join my taglist here!

You beamed at Carol when she walked into the kitchen, still bleary eyed from sleep as she stretched and ran a hand through her hair.

“Hey babe!” You grinned at her. “Guess who made pancakes?”

“You’re the best sweetie.” She murmured, wrapping around your back and nuzzling into your hair. “We’ll make a housewife out of you yet.”

You laughed as she moved to pour herself some coffee when there was a sudden pounding on the front door.

“Danvers!!” A low voice shouted through the door. “Open up, its Rogers!!”

“Shit!” She hissed, looking around frantically as she tried to find someplace to stash you.

“Would you relax?” You said as you rolled your eyes at her. “He has to find out sometime.”

“Yeah, but not today! He already sounds pissed. One second!!” She shouted back, throwing on some sweats. “Just find somewhere to hide, I don’t feel like dealing with this today.”

She moved to open the door as you shook your head at her, weighing your hiding place options.

“Hey Steve, what’s up?” She said, nonchalantly as she let him inside.

“What’s up? Have you watched the news yet this morning?” He seethed as he stormed into the kitchen.

“Oh no. What did she do?” Carol said, taking a deep breath and cursing you in her head for whatever shit storm you’d started now.

“I can’t even talk about it, I’m so mad.” He growled, moving to pour himself a cup of coffee without even asking. “Even Stark was pissed, and he’s usually pretty lenient.”

“Uh-huh.” Carol said as she chewed on her lip and nibbled on a piece of bacon.

“She managed to drag Thor into it, too. We may have to move her to a full time handler, one that she can’t corrupt.” He said, starting to calm down a little bit. “We’re having a meeting about it in 30 minutes, just wanted you to be prepared. How would you feel about taking her on?”

Carol heard a snort from somewhere in the apartment and did her best not to whip around to find you. Unfortunately Steve heard it to with his damn super soldier hearing.

“What was that?” He hissed, his eyes darting all over the quarters.

“Uh, my smoke alarm’s been acting up.” Carol muttered, trying to usher him out the door. “I’ll think about it, see you soon!”

She slammed the door closed and started searching for you.

“What the fuck did you do, baby?” She asked, scanning the apartment for you.

“Y’know, I think I’m gonna leave that for a surprise.” She heard from above her head and shot her gaze upwards.

You had somehow managed to wedge yourself into a tiny corner in the ceiling of the hallway leading to her bedroom. She was giving you a disapproving look as you dropped to the floor with a grunt and grinned at her.

“You think you can handle me babe?” You said as you moved to the bedroom to get dressed.

——————————————————————————

The two of you were sitting across from each other in the conference room half an hour later, trying to act like you didn’t fuck each other’s brains out every chance you got.

Or, at least Carol was. You were sliding your foot up the inside of her leg as she glared murderously at you and you just grinned like an idiot. She shook her head at you and turned to look at the giant screen where Tony was pulling up the surveillance footage as the rest of the team gave you exasperated glances.

“Oh, here we go, we’re getting to the good part.” Tony said, giving you a meaningful look as he slowed the footage down. “Now who’s this guy you just punched in the face and then threw across the club like a rag doll?”

“I think that’s the Duke of Edinburgh.” You said with a shrug, leaning back in your chair.

“No, that’s the Duke of Sussex, y’know, the queen’s nephew.” Nat said as she took a long drink of her coffee, looking exhausted.

“Oh shit, really?” You said, still grinning like an idiot. “Whoops.”

“And wait, here’s where Point Break blows all the lights in the club, which he says was your idea, so the two of you can make a run for it.” Stark said when the video suddenly went black.

“We weren’t making a run for it, we were pursuing our suspect.” You said, staring daggers at Thor as he tried to sink into his chair.

“Uh-huh, and did you catch your suspect?” Steve said through gritted teeth.

“Yeah, he’s in holding right now.” You said with a shrug.

“What?! Why wasn’t that in your report?” Rogers said as he started to dig through the pile of paperwork in front of him.

“I haven’t completed the report yet, Captain Rogers.” You said lightly. “I made sure to update Captain Danvers though.”

“Let’s not get off track, this is about you assaulting a member of the royal family.” Tony said as he tried to redirect the conversation.

“He assaulted me first! He grabbed my ass and made some very ungentlemanly comments about what he would do if he got me in his car.” You said, pouting as you rested your head on your hands.

“He did grab her ass, Stark. I saw it.” Thor piped up before Rogers shot him a look and he went back to inspecting his coffee.

“So you threw him? That seems like a bit of an overreaction.” Tony said with an uncomfortable shrug.

“It’s a reflex, Stark.” You said, your eyes rolling back in your head as the other women frowned at him. “Sorry, I don’t think putting up with sexual harassment is in my job description.”

“Ok, ok fine. Nat, is there anyway you can spin this?” Stark said, turning to Romanoff as she let out a deep sigh.

“Yeah, the man is a pretty notorious dog, shouldn’t be too hard.” She muttered.

“Great! Excellent meeting team, see y’all at the next one!” You said, starting to stand up before Steve turned his attention to you.

“No, we still need to discuss your recklessness, Y/L/N.” He seethed, shooting you a scowl that you returned with a mocking air that had Carol trying to hold back a snort. “I’ve thought about it a lot and I think the best course is to have you under more direct supervision. I considered splitting up you and Odinson but I feel like that would just spread the chaos around after how much you’ve corrupted him.”

You shot a grin and a wink at Thor that he returned as the two of you finally relaxed, but Steve was still talking.

“So, Danvers is going to be accompanying you on your missions now. I feel like her levelheaded attitude is just what’s needed to keep you two in line.” He said with a satisfied smirk.

“Uh, you sure Danvers is the best choice there, Cap?” Tony said whole Nat snickered into her coffee.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t she be?” Steve said as he looked around at everyone’s amused expressions with confusion.

“They’re fucking each other Steve.” Nat said nonchalantly, sending Steve into a spluttering fit as you started cackling and Carol just rolled her eyes and groaned.

“What?!” Rogers roared, his eyes moving frantically between you and Carol as you grinned at him like an idiot. “How long has this been happening?”

“Six months.” Carol said resignedly, taking a gulp of coffee as she shrugged uncomfortably. “Didn’t really feel like dealing with the paperwork.”

“Si... six months?” Steve groaned, burying his face in his hands. “And you didn’t think that might be a conflict of interest?”

“Don’t worry Cap, Danvers is quite the disciplinarian.” You said with a wicked grin as you waggled your eyebrows suggestively.

Carol growled at you and gave you a meaningful look, and you just rolled your eyes at her before leaning back on your chair and propping your boots on the conference table.

“Well... shit.” Steve sighed, running his palm over his face in exasperation. “I guess Bucky can probably oversee some of your ops, and I’ll take over the rest of them. What?”

You and Thor both groaned at that, rolling your eyes at each other.

“Just, Barnes? Could you pick a bigger stick in the mud?” You said with a shrug. “I mean, we get it dude. You were tortured by evil scientists for years who turned you into a mindless killing machine, who wasn’t? And, I love you Steve, but do you even drink?”

“Ok, we’re gonna head out now.” Carol said as she frowned at you, stepping between you and Steve before a real fight broke out. “Guess we’ll report to HR as soon as we can.”

“Uh-huh.” Rogers mumbled, pouting a little as she ushered you out of the room.

Nat followed after the two of you lazily, shaking her head at Steve and Tony as Stark and Thor tried to assure the Captain that he was loads of fun to be around and a blast at all their parties.

“Congrats again you two.” She said with a grin as she split down a different hallway to her own quarters.

“Thanks Nat! You ever gonna tell him about you and Wilson?” You yelled after her, laughing when she flipped you off over her shoulder. “Told ya they knew, babe.”

“Yeah.” She mumbled before grinning at you. “So, you beat up a royal?”

“Shit. In my defense, I didn’t know he was a royal until after I threw him.” You said, following her down the hall back to her apartment. “I thought he was just a smarmy asshole.”

“That’s the problem, sweetheart.” She purred over her shoulder. “You never consider the consequences of your actions.”

“That’s all I think about, babe.” You said with a wicked grin as you waited for her to open the door.

“And now you’re dragging poor Thor into your messes.” She tutted, shaking her head at you as she closed the door and stripped off her jacket. “If I didn’t know better I’d think you had a little crush on that himbo.”

“If you didn’t know better?” You beamed at her, starting to unbutton your jeans and step out of your boots. “Honey, he’s a literal god. I have a massive crush on him.”

“Oh, are you trying to make me jealous?” She ripped off her tank top and threw it aside. “Cuz I’m already pissed at you.”

“Yeah? What’re you gonna do about it?”

She stepped forward and gripped your jaw tightly, smashing her mouth to yours as she started steering you towards the bedroom. You yelped when she tossed you on the bed, grinning as she climbed on top of you.

“You’re such a bad girl.” She growled at you, ripping your bra off in one quick motion.

You screamed when she slapped your tit harshly, the stinging sensation warming your chest while she bent to open the top drawer of the nightstand.

“I am. I’m fucking horrible.” You gasped as she rifled around. “What are you doing?”

She grinned at you as she straightened back up, holding a set of extra shiny looking restraints.

“These are vibranium.” She cooed as she grabbed your wrists and dragged them above your head, hooking them through the headboard as you panted underneath her. “I stole them from R and D, and there’s no way even you can break out of them.”

“Yeah, we’ll see.” You said around a smirk, giving your hands a test yank and nodding appreciatively as Carol shackled each of your feet to the opposing bedposts.

She bit her lip as she stared at you, your legs spread wide over the bed and making your back arch. You moaned as she tore off your panties and slapped your pussy, your muscles twitching as arousal seeped out of you.

“Mmm, you look so good like this.” She mumbled, sliding down until she was laying between your thighs. “Can’t decide whether I should edge you all night or make you come so many times you forget your own name.”

She ran her tongue over your slit in a heavy stripe and you let out a shriek as you came as soon as she reached your clit. She pressed your hips into the mattress as she lashed her tongue against your bundle of nerves, making your legs quiver with the strain of your orgasm.

“Looks like you made my decision for me.” She grinned at you before diving back in.

Her tongue swirled through your folds expertly, sucking your lips into your mouth and humming against you as your pussy started clenching around nothing. She wrapped her lips around your clit and you came again with a sob as your limbs pulled against the restraints, your body trying to arch off the bed.

She shoved her tongue inside you and you screamed as another orgasm crashed over you when her teeth brushed against your tiny bundle of nerves. Carol kept curling her tongue inside you as you vibrated underneath her, moaning as your release flowed into her mouth and soaked her chin.

“Fuck, Carol!” You whined as she sat up between your legs and lightly ran her fingers over your inner thighs. “That was almost too much.”

“Oh, we’re not done yet.” She smirked as she watched you panting underneath her, reaching for the bedside table again while you squirmed.

“Hey!” you exclaimed as she pulled out a massive dildo from the drawer of toys. “Is that my stormbreaker? I’ve been looking for that!”

“Yeah, well I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.” She murmured before dragging the length on the thing through your slick coated folds, making you keen. “Did you know this thing comes with a thruster?”

“Yeah, why do you think I bought it?” You teased before your eyes rolled back in your head as she shoved it inside you.

She started fucking you with the toy at a punishing pace, grinning as you came apart like putty in her hands. Tears started leaking down your cheeks when she turned the vibrating function on and angled it so it was teasing against your clit with each push.

You whined as she bent over you and wrapped her lips around your nipple and swirled her tongue around it. She grinned against your chest as you tried to arch into her mouth, your restraints still holding you in place.

“Mmm, you gonna come again baby?” She muttered, nipping at the curve of your breast as your body started twitching, your release looming over you as you sobbed wordlessly. “Do it, you look so pretty when you fall apart.”

She twisted her wrist and you shrieked as your pussy fluttered wildly, your release leaking out around the dildo and pooling on her sheets. Your cried as she kept fucking you through it, wet sloshing sounds filling her bedroom as the toy slid in and out of you easily.

You let out an inhuman wail when she turned on the thruster and you felt the tip of the toy punch you in the cervix, coming again immediately as your body writhed wildly.

“Shit, I see why you love this thing.” She smirked as she kissed her way up your chest, still shoving the toy into your overworked cunt as your body went lax, your head polling to the side and drool leaking from the corner of your mouth. “You think about Thor fucking you when you use this, babe? Maybe I should bring him in here to fuck you stupid while I watch, would you like that?”

You just mumbled stupidly as your body shook with another orgasm, sinking into the bed in your fucked out state. Her slap snapped you out of it, making you take in a sharp breath as your brain rebooted.

“I asked you a question.” She growled as she twisted the toy again and you let out a low moan.

“I feel like this might be a trap.” You gasped as she palmed at your breast and laid down against your shoulder, still thrusting the toy into you viciously.

“That sounds like a yes to me.” She purred, nuzzling into your neck as she gave the toy a final push.

You screamed as she pulled it out of you suddenly, your release squirting out of you in a violent rush. Your body thrashed violently with the power of your orgasm and Carol cursed as you snapped her headboard and bedposts, the bed frame shuddering before one of the legs gave out and it sank to the floor with a crash.

“Holy fuck, you ok?” She asked, sitting up and grinning at you as she assessed the damage you’d caused.

“Yeah.” You said, swallowing thickly as you moved your limbs with a groan. “At least we know the cuffs work! Sorry about your bed.”

“Don’t worry about it.” She murmured, grabbing the key and unlocking the restraints before pulling you back against her chest. “We’ll just use yours I guess.”

“Are you gonna move in with me? I think that may give Rogers an aneurysm.”

“He’ll get over it.” She shrugged as you nuzzled into her chest. “Now, how do you think we should approach Thor?”

“What?! You were serious?”

——————————————————————————

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[bookofmirth]

I saw your recent response to an anon where you mentioned the drama that occurred the other day based around bookprofessor’s post. Obviously you don’t have to respond to this or publish it if you do not wish but I just wanted to bring up that while it is important to focus on the real life issues at hand, the OP was hypocritical in her post which is why people were getting upset. She was preaching against ableism while simultaneously flaunting her IQ and degree which is a form of ableism. She was speaking out against racism while ending her post using the racial slur “cracker” when talking about the possibly Caucasian Twitter elriels.

Obviously she had some important points but it was completely overshadowed by her participation in the hate speech and prejudice that she was speaking out against.

This does not in any way justify the nasty messages she received but on the same hand, I do not blame anyone that called her out for her hypocrisy. I hope you can understand why her post was so negatively received and how flawed it was. My hope is that one day everyone can just ignore the negativity, report those who are being racist/prejudiced in any way, and block those who are just being loud and who you don’t wish to see content from. But unfortunately I do not see that happening any time soon.

There are a few things I want to address in this because I think it's a good moment for the fandom to step back and reflect on how we treat one another, how we react to such issues, and how we behave moving forward.

First off, thanks for explaining your point of view without being antagonistic. I do think that everyone's emotional reactions to the post were valid. I do NOT think their responses, in terms of words and actions, were valid. Now before I move forward, I want to clarify that when I use the word "you", I am referring to anyone who may have had the response I am describing - not you personally, anon. Also please don’t freak out about how long this is, as a majority of it is a response to the fandom in general, not you in particular.

What was - and wasn’t - said in the original post

In this post, there were completely valid criticisms of the way that people in this fandom behave, and it wasn’t “generalizing” a certain group, it was literal, actual proof of things that had been said, by multiple people. I’m not going to get too into what Alyssa argued because her critiques of those tweets was flawless. The original post had very valid criticisms of what was happening on Twitter. Alyssa exposed the actually racist, homophobic, and imperialistic underpinnings of those tweets.

However, a lot of people are stuck on the bits before and after those critiques. @bookprofessor apologized for different aspects of her post in a few different asks. There were perhaps better ways that some of those things could have been phrased, some things that could have been left out. And she apologized. People can accept that apology or not but we can’t act like it didn’t happen. Like she didn’t reflect and learn to do better.

However, the people she was calling out have not done the same thing, and if anything, comments that focus more on Alyssa’s tone than why she wrote the post in the first place lets those people off the hook.

On cracker - Using the word "cracker" is not racist in the same way that using racial slurs against POC is. Is it prejudiced? Yes. But you cannot say that it is the same thing when that is demonstrably untrue, given centuries of oppressive history. No one has been oppressed for being white. Those are not the same. Reverse racism is not a thing because a white person punching down on POC is NOT AT ALL the same thing as a POC punching up at white people. The actions look the same, but the impact is so unequal it’s not even funny.

Racism is a systemic, institutionalized problem. It is not defined by individual actions, though those actions can either support or challenge racism. When someone calls a white person a cracker, there isn’t centuries of oppression giving power to and reinforcing that statement. That is not a “gotcha” moment.

Saying “I have x IQ” or “I have X degrees” is not ableist. I’m sorry to whoever told you it was ableist (again, not you specifically anon but people who had read the “aw shucks guys” vagueblogs about it), but it’s not. Those are facts. I have no idea what my IQ is, but I have five degrees from institutions of higher education. Me saying that is in no way ableist. 

Often, people mention those things to be elitist, yes. Sometimes, they can be used to say “hey I know more about this than you”. They can be used in a way that tries to make themselves feel superior. I suspect that this is the impression that a lot of people got of the post. However, there is a fine line between saying “hey that’s elitist” and professing anti intellectualism. Which is perhaps a side issue so I’ll let that go for now.

Another reason that people mention their degrees or qualifications is to establish their background knowledge and credibility. If I were to say “hey y’all I have two MA degrees” (which is true) I am not being ableist! It is a fact! It is factual! And I worked my ass off for those, I will be in student loan debt until I die for those, I have every right to mention them if I want to, and often I do so in order to establish my credibility, to explain the position I am coming from. And my prior knowledge of these topics is relevant when we are talking about literature since that’s what my degrees were on - literature and linguistics. That is why Alyssa mentioned her background, though she did pair it with comments about other people, for which she has apologized.

My final point about this is that I 1000% understand feeling insecure or less than because of educational attainment. I dropped out of high school. I had a complex about that for a long, long time. But I also know that if I took offense at someone else saying they had a PhD, then that offense is about me, not them. Someone else’s inferiority complex is not reason for people to pretend to be less than they are.

If those two comments are what overshadowed the bigger, more important issue for a lot of the readers of that post, then y’all allowed them to overshadow those more important issues. I am 99% sure that someone right now is reading this and thinking “but Leslie, it was the way that she said it!” Boy have I got some news for you!

How we react

This next section is not specific to this ask; instead, it is a discussion of how the fandom responded. If it were only one person who had said “but her tone” then I wouldn’t need to make this point. The fact that multiple people are exhibiting the behavior explained below is what makes this a cultural problem within the acotar fandom.

The main argument I saw on the post itself, and indeed any time I see people bring up how nasty Twitter can be, is that “it was a joke” and “that’s how stan Twitter works”.

No.

Those responses were quite useful for this post, though! So buckle up everyone, because I am going to talk about gaslighting, racism, respectability politics, and tone policing. While I understand that some people might have taken personal offense to what was said, there is a much bigger issue at stake that has nothing to do with individual feelings, and everything to do with ensuring that POC stay silenced and white supremacy is upheld. 

Back to the “but it’s a joke” thing. Thanks for gaslighting! Great example of that, person I’m not going to tag! Gaslighting is when you make someone question their experiences, when you try to make them think “wait, did I really feel that way? Is my feeling about that valid? Do I need to re-evaluate my response to this?? Am I blowing this out of proportion???” And saying “it’s just a joke” is a perfect way to do that. Did I say something accidentally sexist? It’s just a joke, nbd! Now you’re the problem, because you didn’t understand my joke and laugh!!! 

Saying “it’s a joke” or “oh they are old/young/ignorant, they will learn” is not a good response to... anything. It takes the responsibility off the people who are doing the harm, and putting it onto the people who were hurt. And in this case, anyone who read those tweets and found them harmful (which should be everyone?) is completely valid. You aren’t lesser for being angry or emotional or for seeing a problem where other people saw a joke. The people who see those things as acceptable jokes are the ones in the wrong.

This is a tactic that is used against women all the time. Any time a woman is sexually harassed at work or online, for example, and she gets upset about it, and someone chimes in with “oh they weren’t serious, can’t you take a joke?” So you can imagine what this is like for women of color.

It is a very, very common tactic for people of color to be silenced via tone policing and respectability politics. Tone policing and respectability politics are very closely related, especially in this context. The idea is that if Alyssa had just written that post in just the right way, it would have been more palatable to white people, and therefore okay to write. The idea that if she had tried to be “understanding” or “see it from their perspective” or understand that it’s “just a joke” are all ways to silence and de-legitimize any accurate, valid criticisms that were made of those tweets. It effectively re-routes the conversation away from the real issues, and to the person trying to bring them up. It’s essentially an ad hominem attack in disguise. 

We see respectability politics in media when people of color who act or dress or speak like white people are afforded more respect. Or any time that a person of color is pulled over and people say, “well if they had just done what the police officer asked...” There is a pervasive idea that if people just “act” properly, aka if you act white, then the police won’t feel antagonized and try to kill arrest you. If we are nice enough, meek enough, smile enough, etc. then we will be accepted.

When we tone police, we refuse to allow marginalized people the right to be angry. We say that "hey, we can only have this discussion if you leave emotion, which you rightfully feel, at the door, and we can only continue this discussion if you behave in a way that makes me feel comfortable." But guess what? It isn’t about you! These discussions are often highly uncomfortable. There is no nice way to tell someone they are being racist. And yet somehow, that is the ever-moving goalpost. It seems reasonable, right? “Just be civil, be nice, don’t insult each other!” And there is that. But those criteria change constantly, to the point where anyone (white) at any time can say “WHOA WHOA THIS IS MAKE ME UNCOMFORTABLE???” Then we find ourselves at zero, and suddenly the focus of attention has shifted away from the actual problem.

Before we go further, I want to say this: people have a right to be angry. They do not need to make their anger palatable or tasteful for the consumption of others (read: white people). 

We saw this last summer, and I’m not sure how the message didn’t get across. But people are rightfully angry about racism. They are angry about the murder of people of color by police, they are angry about lack of quality education, or clean water, of centuries of oppression that have led to this very moment when all of that ceases to matter because a white woman’s feelings got hurt one time. 

And that is what pisses me off so much. There is no way in this world that we could criticize tweets like those that everyone would agree with, and that everyone would “approve” of, that would be “nice” enough and yet still be impactful and make the authors of those tweets understand the gravity of what they have done. 

The least we can do is allow one another to express our anger, our outrage, because it’s highly likely that those people know exactly what the fuck they are doing, and they do not fucking care. By criticizing a woman of color for the way in which she chose to engage with this topic, we are avoiding the issue and letting the people in those tweets off the hook. 

There were many responses to that post that were positive, that agreed with Alyssa. There are a ton of people who disagree with those tweets, who find them disgusting, who understand exactly how and why they are problematic. That should be what we are talking about. Getting to the core of the argument, on that post or any about racism or other problematic behavior in fandom, requires getting past our own egos. It requires us to be able to step back, say “hm this thing is frustrating but there is a bigger picture here”. It’s not easy, and I recognize that. 

The fact that it is a common tactic though? To say “hey this hurt me personally and so I’m going to ignore any valid points you made?” That feeds directly into centuries of white supremacy because it, once again, silences POC and makes them try to play a losing game. And they will always lose, because no matter how hard they try to play the white game, the goalposts are constantly shifting. So you know what? Fuck the game, and fuck respectability politics, and fuck tone policing and “uwu be nice guys” because when it comes to things like racism and sexism, I don’t expect the people who deserve to be criticized to be nice. In fact, trying to be nice only serves to fuck POC over in the end.

Indeed, in response to that post, certain blogs have taken the opportunity to position themselves as “the nice ones” or “the ones who would never” or “uwu let’s be nice guys” while completely ignoring the fact that a woman of color was attacked for calling out racism. And yes - that was the point of her post. People getting hung up on mentions of her degree are (intentionally or not, it doesn’t matter) completely obfuscating the fact that that is not what her post was about, which was to call out disgusting behavior. idk how many words the post actually was, but essentially, people are focusing on 5% of it to the detriment of the 95% that was actually really important shit. These types of vagueblog posts about the issue fall into exactly what I am talking about - these are people who have decided to look at this issue, see how Alyssa (and anyone else who dares speak up) has approached it, and intentionally try to act like they are “better” because they can be “rational” and “kind”. Newsflash, if you don’t have something to be angry about, then being “nice” about racism isn’t that much of a flex. If it didn’t bother you, then congratulations. That doesn’t make you better than people it did bother. You just got lucky this time, and decided to use that to your advantage to look like the good guy.

I am not saying that all calls for peace are doing this. Obviously it’s what we all want. This is the worst I have seen this fandom in the 4+ years I’ve been here. But we cannot have that by ignoring the real problems and pretending that if we are all just nice to each other, then we will solve racism and sexism and all bullying in the fandom will stop. 

So combining all of this - the gaslighting, the tone policing, and what do you get? You get a fandom that refuses to actually engage critically with its own problems and take accountability for them. You get a fandom that decides that it’s easier to be distracted by this one mean comment over here than it is to engage in the fact that you know what, the culture in this fandom has actually turned incredibly disgusting and a lot of people are just okay with it. You’ve got a fandom that is using the tools of white supremacy to avoid the discussions that should actually be taking place. Maybe people don’t realize that that’s what they are doing. But if someone still thinks that after reading this post, then godspeed my friend, I hope you enjoy Twitter.

Okay so my last thing I want to say is that I didn’t come to all of this knowledge fresh from the womb. I do a lot of work, in my personal life and my professional life, to be better. So here is a list of books that I have found particularly helpful:

How to Be An Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi

Stamped From the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America also by Ibram X. Kendi

White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo (side note, I was kinda meh about this one but the chapter “White Women’s Tears” is particularly helpful)

So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo

Black Feminist Thought: Knowledge, Consciousness, and the Politics of Empowerment by Patricia Hill Collins

I’m not going to talk specifically about Alyssa’s post anymore, but if anyone wants to continue talking about these broader issues going on in the fandom, I am game. (I really should be grading papers though, so it might take a bit.)

[freedelusionshere]

Sorry, this is long, hope it's okay!

Carmy wants to desperately keep her there at the very least? He said the Michelin Star was a trap and went along with it anyway (because she wanted it). Syd later admits she's been his "accomplice" in S3, because he initially justified what he did with the excuse it was in pursuit of the star.

He couldn't even attempt any of that without all she had contributed to that point to begin with. But also, Syd is impulsive and will rush things, and we see him push back about that in S1 with the rib and risotto dish.

But then...he agrees to adding the to-go orders he didn't want. Did he do that as a compromise? I would guess so. When it blows up, he blows up, she tells him off, leaves, and when she comes back, he immediately makes her an offer and starts promising stuff he knows she'll want to do.

This will become a pattern of behavior with them both.

Carmy's behavior in S2? He doesn't really know how to build a restaurant, and under that time line? He knows how to work in one when it's up and running. But who did he promise that to?

Syd has more experience from starting her own business, even though it failed, she's the one writing the business plan. She brings in Nat to basically run business ops.

He fucks up their date/tour. Later, instead of doing whatever with Claire, he stays up all night drawing a menu to present to Syd! Telling her, "This is what you wanted" (when he knows it's not) but he's giving her an opportunity to tell him what to do, which she kind of does, but withholds her real feelings to keep it professional (in order to pretend she's not jealous).

Carmy's behavior is exactly like the story Emmanuel tells about himself and Syd's mom (who were "still getting to know each other"): Carmy is fronting about what he's capable of, and Syd ends up doing the work.

But at Friends and Family, Carmy loses his shit when he realizes the truth, which is Syd doesn't need him to complete a service. Also, by this time, Richie has told Syd that she is part of the family.

In S3, Carmy says he'll never leave Syd alone again, and sends her a partnership agreement without even discussing the contents, or allowing negotiation, and then presents a list of non-negotiables. It's him trying to stay in control because he knows he's running out of things to offer her to make her stay. Then...he promises her the star again instead of being wishy-washy about it and she agrees.

That partnership agreement is a test to see if she will stick with him or not, and he knows he's in big-time trouble because she doesn't sign it. He invites her to Ever's funeral dinner, and she gets treated like an equal among her peers, which, interestingly, is what she'd been fuming about, doom scrolling media pieces about Carmy the day before! Because at this point, they both know she's his equal and he's trying to dominate in the kitchen and she's not playing his game; she is the one really in control, not him. That is her kitchen.

Syd at this point has to know that when Carmy fucks up it will immediately be followed by him giving her something she wants. She is getting tired of it, though, because she was definitely considering Shapiro's offer.

They're like a married couple who are codependent, and breaking the cycle for her would be feeling safe enough to talk about how she really feels (this means treating her like she's really his partner). She has money problems that are completely acerbated by the way he's chosen to run the restaurant. He owes her several things, one is a sense of security (within the means he has) and doing the stuff he agreed to do with her in the beginning, even if it's hard.

Carmy always had the vibe, the vision for something new, and the idea of making the restaurant different. It was never Mikey’s idea—it was his. In a way, his dialogue mirrors Sydney's; they have that same desire.

As we know, after Mikey died, the restaurant became less about building something new and more about trying to turn back time to fix what went wrong between him and Mikey- maybe in a way to save Mikey and break the cycle? Then Sydney came along—a Chef who shared his original vision and understood that things had to change. She became someone who wanted to break cycles with him.

He says the right things—"our menu," or "I wouldn’t even want to do it without you." But what happens if he actually has to move forward without Sydney physically present? Would he be able to carry that vision on his own?

He wouldn't because, in 1x08, he doesn't even try and ultimately gives up when she leaves. He decides to keep things the same. Then she comes back, and he's ready to change again—but not because he has to save Mikey. He wants to break a cycle for her... so she could stay?

Maybe.

[thiserichann]

cookies and cream - lee jeno

reader x jeno

genre: smut, strangers to fuck buddies, humor if you squint hard enough

word count: 4k-ish

warnings: recklessness (she met with a stranger online, don’t do it kids) excessive lying, 18+ scenes that includes: oral (f receiving) face riding, soft dom!jeno?

This is merely a work of fiction and is not meant to hurt the image of Jeno and NCT. Again, don’t be as reckless as OP. This was just a fantasy of mine that I’ve been dying to get out of my system.

Holy fuck.

That's the only word that you've managed to utter when you decided to check your messages that morning.

You got bored in the middle of the class and decided to sneak a peek on your phone to pass the time. The class is recorded anyways so you can always just go back to the parts of the lessons that you've missed.

But holy fuck.

You never expected to see THAT so early in the morning.

"Miss Y/N?"

You snapped back to reality and stopped malfunctioning for a second when somebody called your name. Everyone including your professor remained quiet and all eyes are on you.

"Oh. Sir what’s the question again?"

You answered nervously as you tried to review your notes and backtrack on what he is discussing a few moments ago.

"I see that you're distracted in the middle of my class again. Mind sharing what you're occupied with?"

"Uhm. I was watching KPOP fancams, sir."

"Fancams won't get you into law school, Miss Y/N. Phones off please."

You tucked your phone back to your pocket and never picked it up again since. The professor started blabbering again but no information is being retained on your head. It stayed that way at your other classes.

You wished you were looking at some KPOP fancams earlier. You’ve watched fancams at class before and got away with it unscathed.

Oh no. It was a goddamn dick pic.

A good one, too.

It was from a guy that you met in a kink site a few days ago. You created the account out of boredom and expected nothing to come out from it. It’s all the flirting and sexting without all the unnecessary commitment

It only took you a few minutes to set up an account. For some privacy, you made a random birthdate and a random nickname, because like hell would you share your real information to these people. You also picked a racy picture of a lady that looked a bit like you and passed it off as your own.

Within minutes, your inbox is flooded with messages. Most of them, however, are from men who are old enough to be your father.

Well, you were bored, so you entertained everyone and then went on back to your boring, vanilla life. A few political history and theory books later, you went back to see which ones messaged you on the site.

And that's where you've met him.

The most gorgeous piece of meat alive.

He seems like a nice guy. He introduced himself as LJ and your age aren’t that far off from each other. LJ is the only one who actually engaged in conversation besides "want to fuck?" or "are you horny?"

As soon as you started messaging back and forth, you scrolled on his profile to see what he looks like. The only thing is, his profile looked a whole lot like those high fashion male underwear photoshoots.

It was an array topless pictures (presumably his, you just can’t be bothered to check if it is actually his). It featured his sculpted abs and biceps, cropped up all the way to his full lips. Despite not seeing his whole face, you knew very well that he’s a hunk. To say you were intrigued is an understatement.

Since then, you've been talking back and forth through Snapchat (your secret one because you're not stupid) and sent him actual pictures of yourself, completely omitting the face. You took one from your bed, your bathtub, and probably every part of your house that you felt is sexy enough to be included on the pics.

You can't tell him if it's him or the repressed sexual urges finally manifesting itself after more than a year of not getting laid, but every text to and from him made your heart race. It was something that you looked forward to every hour everyday.

Hours went by that you totally forgot leaving him on read. You climbed up to your bed to rest your back to the headboard and opened your unread messages.

You: Hey svlr. School stuff.

  He opened the chat and started typing right away.

  LJ: Oh good. I thought I did something wrong to upset you.

You: Not at all. I loved the pic by the way. It literally knocked my socks off.

LJ: Just the socks?

You: You can take the rest of it off yourself ;)

You scoffed. The flirty banter has always been there ever since you started talking but nothing really came out of it.

LJ: If only I could :(

You: I know. Covid’s a bitch.

You set your phone aside for a second to go to the bathroom. On your way, you picked up some snacks at the fridge and sat back down to your bed, only to find your phone blowing up.

LJ: If you're down maybe we could meet

LJ: It's totally fine if you don't want to

LJ: I just made it weird, didn't I?

LJ: I'm so sorry I brought it up in the first place

LJ: I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable

LJ: Hello?

LJ: I'm really sorry

You: Chill. I'm right here

You: I just went to the bathroom

LJ: Oh

You: I'd be lying if I said I don't want to meet you as well

You: Well... I wouldn't write off the idea

You: But with the Covid

LJ: Thoughts?

You: I don't think it's a great idea

The screen says Seen right at the bottom but it took him a couple more minutes before finally replying.

LJ: I understand

LJ: But in case you change your mind, I'll leave the time and place up to you

LJ: I’ll take care of the rest

LJ: Deal?

You: I'll sleep on it.

You: Speaking of sleep, I gotta go. Morning class.

LJ: Okay. I guess this is good night then

You didn't, in fact, talk to him the day after.

You'd be lying if you said that you didn't want to see him and his abs in real life. But as someone who overthinks a lot, you just can't shake off the risk.

You: Good night. Talk to you tomorrow.

What if he's not really the guy in the pics? Or he’s psycho in real life? What if he's infected the virus?

You sighed.

Why must some global pandemic ruin your sex life?

You waited until the end of the day before you finally replied to LJ. The last thing that he texted was a brief good morning from earlier in the day and nothing else. He’s actually a pretty sweet guy, totally not worth ghosting, and you actually liked talking to him as a friend that you can share your sentiments with.

With your guilt finally eating you up, you took a break from your assigned readings and sat back at your bed to rest for the day. Your fingers hovered over the keyboard for a minute, thinking of something to say to him. It took you a few tries before finally hitting the send button.

You: So, I thought about it

LJ: And?

You: I need to know I can trust you

LJ: Okay. How?

You: I don’t know. Send me a proof that you’re real. Get tested?

You: Is that fine with you?

Within a split second, he sent his reply.

He actually did it.

You couldn’t believe it but he actually did it.

LJ: Consider it done.

He got tested for physical, including the virus test, and passed with flying colors. He even sent you a vid of him inside a medical clinic.

He just sent the uncensored results this morning where you can clearly see his real name.

Lee Jeno.

LJ.

Seems legit.

Well, the uncreative nickname shouldn’t matter now because the results meant only one thing.

You’re gonna have to push through with your promise.

You got ready around noon that day. You can’t remember the last time that you actually got ready to meet someone that’s not a delivery guy or a relative passing on something to your family.

As someone who overthinks a lot, you actually got everything covered. You picked a place near a restaurant to eat. The police station is just a few blocks away just in case something happens, and right in front of a library…

“Where’re are you off to?”

You raised your backpack to show to your mother.

“I’m off to the library. I needed to get these renewed. Maybe pick up a novel or two.”

She looks at you from head to toe, eyeing that incredibly loose hoodie, faded denim jeans, some worn out sneakers that looked like it’s supposed to be thrown away years ago and a medical mask that covers about ¾ of your bare face. It’s just your usual attire whenever you go out for errands.

She just nodded and went back to watching her favorite soap opera.

“It’s nice that you’re out of your room for once. Take some cookies from the kitchen so you’ll have something to eat in case you get hungry.”

… as an alibi to get away from your strict parents.

As soon as you left the door and made sure that you’re out of sight, you found the nearest public toilet and grabbed a whole other outfit from your backpack. The hoodie is replaced by a white, ruffled see-through blouse and you ditched the jeans for a tight skirt that’s at least four inches above your knees. You tousled your hair a little bit and put on some powder and tiny hint of lipstick before putting your facemask back on again.

It’s been a while since you’ve done an elaborate scheme like this. Your skills got a little bit rusty, but they always work.

Sometimes you wonder if you’re really meant to be lawyer or a criminal instead.

You stepped out of the toilet and blended right back into society.

Now all you have to do is find wherever the hell LJ is.

Jeno sat anxiously as he waited for you right inside the café. He’s on his fourth cup of coffee but it didn’t do anything to calm his nerves down (geez I wonder why).

You: I’m almost at the café.

He’s been staring at his phone the whole time. Once he received your message, which is a pic of you in the bathroom after the outfit change, he almost choked on his drink.

This message sent him on a panic as he turned his camera on to see how he looked. He did some minor adjustments to his hair and he wiped off his eyeglasses clean with the sleeves of his hoodie (which did nothing for him by the way) and then casually sat down and played it off cool like he hasn’t been waiting for you for over an hour.

On your perspective, you walked inside the café and looked around for LJ. Fortunately, there was only guy inside the café, twiddling with his phone on his hands and as he kept on peeking through the glass windows as if he’s looking for someone.

From afar, he actually looked really cute. His appearance, a shy, nerdy dude with glasses, looked way off from the fuckboy image that you expected him to have in reference to the messages that you’ve been getting from him.

It’s always the quiet ones that are kinky. You should know, you are one.

You walked over to his table and tapped his shoulders to get his attention.

He froze for a moment before he finally managed to turn around and face you.

“You’re actually here.”

“I know. I’m just as surprised as you are.”

tap tap tap tap

The room is so quiet that the only thing you can hear is the sound of your heels tapping against the tiled floor. You can say that that is one of your observable annoying habits tapping your foot on the floor when you're a nervous wreck.

Sighing in retaliation, you removed your hoodie, fanning yourself as you tried to relax and get comfy on the hotel couch (which should be comfortable enough since you paid a shit ton of money on that room), switching the TV on to get your mind off of things. The lackluster array of shitty sitcoms didn’t distract you at all, but it instead reminded you of the reasons why you’re in that room in the first place.

Having nothing to do to pass the time, you paced back and forth in the room, finally sitting down once you realized that it looks way worse than you just tapping your foot. You folded your arms right across your chest, looking at the watch from time to time but the hands of the clock seem to be moving slower the more you stare at it.

Quarantine started almost a year ago and it's been very hard for you. Sexually. It's been almost a year since you've been touched by a man and you’re more than ready to jump on anyone’s dick at any this point,

Too bad that that dick is taking his sweet time in the bathroom.

tap tap tap tap

Your foot found its rhythm once again, only this time, you’re not nervous anymore. Your patience is wearing thin.

As if summoned by the constant tapping, the guy comes out of the bathroom, just casually drying himself while wearing nothing but the towel dangerously hanging on his waist and a boyish smile on his lips.

No biggie.

"Hey."

Suddenly, you’re not tapping anymore.

Head empty, just thoughts of a hot guy patting down a towel all over his toned body.

“I hope I didn’t make you wait for too long.”

He spoke, tossing aside the towel on his hands on the sofa, finally giving you a full view of him and all his glory.

You must admit, you’re skeptical at first. The guy that’s been sending you faceless thirst traps just days ago, telling you how he’d fuck you senseless looked a lot different from the guy who entered the hotel room just a moment ago.

He came in wearing those black oversized hoodies that did a great job in hiding his best features. His hair was a bit long for your taste, covering half of his face while the face mask hid the other.

But this man right here in front you, he’s Adonis.

You unconsciously bit your lower lip, earning a chuckle from the guy.

“I’m guessing that you’d like to start now?”

You nodded, the tension and awkwardness rendering you unable to speak.

He smiles as he takes the remote from you, turning off the television because the main show is about to start.

You started to tense up again, eyes wide as you realized that he’s now right beside you, wrapping his arms around you as soon as he sat down. He leans over, soft lips coming into contact with your exposed neck and shoulders, landing small pecks all over.

You sat there breathless as he slowly ran his fingers to the side of your thighs, tracing circles at it while giving small, reassuring kisses on your neck and shoulders. It’s as if he’s asking you for your consent, waiting for you to open up to him before he makes a move.

He got his answer when you turned around to face him, running your fingers into his cheeks before cupping his face, your lips finally touching his. He moved in the same pace as earlier, slow and calculating. You got a bit impatient once again, biting his lower lips gently to let him know that he can do more.

He grabbed you by the waist and successfully placed you on top of him. The kiss got even more sloppy as you ran your hands through nape, then into his soft locks. His hands travelled once again, finger running through legs again, stopping as soon as he reached the hem of your skirt, flipping it up to reveal the thin lace material that barely covered your core. You took that as initiative to remove the towel on his waist and grinded against his growing member, the friction and heat enough to earn a groan out of him.

He held your waist once again, firmly this time, halting your movement completely.

You broke away from the kiss, staring him in the eyes to read his face.

“Something wrong?”

“Hold tight.”

You were about to ask about what hold tight mean, but your arms cling unto him involuntarily as he lifts the both of you out of the sofa.

Jeno laid you gently in the bed, making sure not to break eye contact as he does so. He looked like he's about to eat you alive, which is enough to send flush to your cheeks.

“I would’ve loved to bend you over that sofa, but I think it’s just proper that our first time will be on the bed.”

"God. You're beautiful."

He then ran his fingers towards the thin fabric of your blouse, feeling every part of your torso like he's memorizing every detail of it. His hands then travelled in your chest, squeezing the swell of your breasts on each hand, fingers shaking as he does so. It felt like an artist admiring his delicate work of art.

He situated himself between your legs, taking a moment to admire you first before doing anything else.

He started to run his hand on your cleavage and stopped on the uppermost button of your blouse, taking his time to remove all of them and placing a kisses at the exposed skin. After all of the buttons are taken care of, you lifted your body up and slid off the fabric. Your black lacy bra finally made its appearance. You took the liberty of taking that off too, as slow and as you possibly can.

 Jeno just stared at your body in awe, breathing heavily as his eyes scanned your naked glory.

 "Gorgeous."

He said under this breath before leaning down to claim your lips once again. You're turned on by how much attention he's giving your body now. You're usually loud in bed but his gestures are making you bashful. You've never felt this beautiful before.

You can feel his hands trembling as it travels all over your body, his kisses getting even more needy. There was moans of satisfaction every time he would lick your lips. Jeno was kissing you like you were oxygen and he needed to breath.

His hands travelled south, running across your thigh and your now aching core. You're about to remove your skirt and underwear but he stopped your hands midway.

"Keep it."

He took your hands away from your skirt and placed them just above your head.

"Just sit there and relax baby. Let me treat you."

You did just like he told you and gave him full control of your body.

"Good girl."

His lips brushed your ears, whispering sweet nothings about how beautiful you are under him. His kisses then went down to your neck, using his tongue and teeth, marking everything he can get his mouth on with his saliva. Meanwhile, his hands finally touched you down there, massaging your still clothed wetness.

His middle and index finger felt your slit, moving it in swift motion in search for your clit.

"Oh my god. That's it."

You gasped as his fingers finally hit the right spot, tossing your head back as his fingers made circles at your bundle or nerves.

You opened your legs more, leaning on your arms on your back, head tossed back and eyes closed as you feel your impending orgasm.

He dipped his hand inside your underwear and collected some of your essence with his fingers. The mental picture of him licking his fingers deliciously is enough to get you off for weeks.

It didn't take long before he took your panties off and his ducked his head down. He opened your legs once again and licked one long stripe on your core, making sure to taste all of you. You sat there and watch as he hungrily takes all of you in his mouth, acting like your pussy is a full course meal and he's been starving for years.

Within moments, you've become a moaning, toe curled mess. You ran your fingers to his blonde hair, guiding him on how to move his tongue and fingers on you. At one point, he bit some of your sensitive skin, making you scream a string of curses under your breath.

"Stop stop stop."

You grab a fistful of his hair and he paused from what he was doing. You pushed him gently away from you, leaving him staring at you confusedly. The confusion didn't last long when you flipped your current position, you're now on top.

"Can I ride your face?"

At this point, you're bold and horny enough to use your words and ask him. He just nodded, sliding himself from underneath you and went back to eating you like a champ. You grabbed his hands and placed them across your chest, squeezing your breasts to send him a message. He was quick to pick up and followed suit, pinching your nipples right in between fingers while your ride his face to orgasm.

"Shit. I'm coming..."

  You writhed from above him as you come undone. Your body felt cold all over. Your eyes are ringing, feeling dizzy as you almost passed out while you bucked your hips a few more times to milk your release.

You didn’t have time to recover when you heard your phone ringing from outside. Your legs felt a little shaky and you almost tumbled and hit your head in the wall if Jeno didn’t help you get up. You  sat down on the floor, butt-ass naked as you frantically searched for your phone from under all of your stuff before you finally pressed the answer button.

“Yes mom?”

“Where have you been? Your father’s been looking for you at the library. He’s picking you up on your way home.”

You buried your head on the couch to shake off the buzzing feeling on your head. You placed a pillow on your body while you searched for your discarded clothes all over the hotel room.

“Oh yeah. I went to the café and got something to eat. Tell Dad I’ll meet him outside the library.”

“Okay sweetie. Can you pick up some groceries on your way back? I’ll text you the list.”

“Yeah mom. Bye.”

You breathe a sigh of relief as you started putting on the outfit that you wore when you left home.

“Where are you going?”

Jeno reluctantly got dressed as well, his shy demeanor came back as soon as he wore his glasses and fixed his hair.

“I got to go, Jeno. I’m sorry that I’m leaving in such a bad time…”

You went over to him and placed a sweet kiss on his lips.

“I promise to make it up to you next time, okay? I’d love to meet you again.”

You grabbed a paper bag from your backpack and handed it to him, waving as you bolted out the door.

After fixing his things, he sat down for a moment and took a quick peek inside the package that you left him.

It was a ziplock bag of full of cookies and a whole other treat.

You left him your two-piece lace lingerie.

To be continued.

[thebreakfastgenie]

I mean... I don't usually put a footnote on every post I make saying (I am trans) any more than you footnote your posts saying (I am a cis feminist lesbian) or... any other identifier? I don't personally think it's really okay to jump in and cissplain transphobia just because no one announced they were trans. It would also be weird to mansplain feminism even if no one said (I am a woman) in their post. I think you also know full well that I did not mix you up with someone else since you went on to explain the context of how and why you did it. And just on a related note... if identifying transphobia in the feminist movement is so important to you, then why have you been going to such lengths to soften the blow of the impact transphobia within feminism has? Continually pointing out that it's bad but that it's not AS bad as other things. Saying that while it's bad, it comes from a place of "hate the sin, not the sinner". Making sure we know some TERFs don't even hate trans men, just misgender and bully them out of "love"? And don't fret - it could be worse! At least the people bullying you don't have societal power. This isn't meaningfully addressing transphobia in the movement. It's minimizing it.

Most of what you are saying isn't wrong. It is important to remember the power of right wing politicians. But also, TERFs suck, and sometimes they have a meaningful effect on our lives too.

Okay, yes, I’ll cop to being sarcastic with the “you must be mixing me up with someone else” thing, but can you blame me after this many asks?

I’m answering this one because it’s very important to me that it’s clear to anyone who may be reading this that I was not minimizing TERFs or saying it’s “not that bad.”

I may have erred in using “hate the sin love the sinner” as a shorthand. I assumed it was widely understood that that rhetoric was bullshit. It is hate, but it’s a condescending type of hate that claims to be for the victim’s benefit. A lot of trans people smarter than me have written about the way some TERFs talk about trans men vs trans women. That’s what I was referring to. I wasn’t saying they were truly acting out of love, and I’m sorry if my choice of idiom suggested that.

It was not my intention to minimize the impact of TERFs by discussing their relative lack of institutional power in the United States. I think that’s interesting and worth discussing. You can argue that bigots with institutional power aren’t necessarily worse, but they are different. The distinction matters to me.

I don’t expect people to identity themselves as trans in every post. But that also means the OP can’t expect that I will treat this as a situation where I would be cissplaining by responding to the post. And when OP responded to me they did not say I had done so. If someone wants to cite their lives experience in a discussion then at that point they do need to disclose the relevant identity, but that wasn’t happening here.

The original post was primarily about feminism, not transphobia. I brought transphobia up because the commenter I was responding to mentioned TERFs but didn’t mention transphobia, instead calling TERFs misogynists and patriarchs. My original point was that I think it’s better to call TERFs transmisogynists or transphobes rather than misogynists, even if they do harm women, because I think it’s important to highlight that what defines them as a group is their hatred of trans people. Focusing on TERFs harming cis women in my opinion carries the (probably unintentional) implication that their rhetoric isn’t bad enough if it doesn’t affect cis people. I probably would have let it go if that post hadn’t also called them patriarchs, but that pushed me over the edge.

I simply did not at any point come onto a trans person’s post and cissplain anything. Most of the discussions about transphobia have been on my own posts because I’ve been getting anons like this.

TERFs are bad. I believe that bigotry can be more effectively combated if we understand the nature of it so it’s important to me that we hate TERFs accurately.

[communistkenobi-archive]

My problem is Mayfeld is the canon fodder are the same everywhere. His survival speech about Alderaan and Mandolore vs shooting the officer who burned his own troops- most rank and file are stupid kids wanting a better life. It is a tragedy. The last war was genetic slaves vs droids.

Mayfeld wasn’t a stormtrooper though (which he says to Din in ep6), he was special ops, so he was likely in the Imperial military for a while.

And like obviously some of the stormtroopers were slaves (eg Finn) and had no choice, but the people those “stupid kids” were killing were completely innocent lmao? like we are basically getting into discussions of the actual irl military (which is not the purview of an sw blog and one I don’t want to letigate) but I am always going to have far more sympathy for the civilians that troops shoot than the troops themselves. there are obviously paths to atonement if you get out of the military and those are important to make clear to people, but (in the context of this conversation, which is about star wars) Mayfeld has not sufficiently done that yet. He could in time, but if this is his path to redemption it is far from complete. Given that he walked off screen into the forest of a random planet I doubt we’ll see him again, so this is as much of an arc as he’s likely going to get, but he gives no indication he was forced to join like Kuiil or Finn was, and that is something he needs to spend the rest of his life making up for if he is truly sorry for what he’s done.

Again like, I liked him in this episode, flaws and all, but he was still an imperial sharpshooter. It’s all well and good that he seriously regrets it now and feels bad about it, but feelings do not exonerate you from your own personal history, they are a catalyst towards that exoneration. That requires action and real sacrifice to make up for. Blowing up an Imperial base is a start, but I’m not gonna label him as “redeemed” for that action alone.

[fairykukla]

This is a situation that requires more info.

Humans wave their hands when they talk. It's a thing we do. It's a thing you do, OP. You said so. Nobody treats a friend like this over hand-gestures.

Either you have misunderstood the issue in question or you're deliberately obscuring the facts to make yourself sound reasonable.

Bringing unvaccinated friends into another person's living space without warning is, in fact, an asshole move. This is true.

What seems to be the problem is "how" you expressed your problem. Hon, it's not that you gestured.

Were your gestures threatening? Violent? Did you fling your arms around or hit inanimate objects? Throw things? That kind of shit is not acceptable. That's not making conversational movements, it's being an asshole.

Did you express yourself clearly? Did you explain your boundaries? Did you phrase it with maturity?

Or was this a tantrum? It sounds like you maybe had a complete meltdown about it, after hitting a breaking point. You didn't like another person moving in, you were uncomfortable about the dog, and you were unhappy about the payment arrangements. Then this person does something that felt threatening to you. It's easy to see that you might melt down about it.

Not everyone is willing to be there for a meltdown. Not everyone is prepared to deal with someone hitting a breaking point and turning violent, or petulant, or screaming loudly.

I'm almost 50 years old. I've spent most of my life without health insurance. I'm immunocompromised, myself, due to having Covid at least twice and I have permanent damage. So I do understand where you're coming from. I really, really do.

But you need to examine your coping strategies. Ignoring a problem until you blow up isn't a solid plan. You need to figure out how to manage yourself when you lose your cool.

You need to go to B and apologize for your reaction. Don't make the explanation part of the apology, either. Just apologize for freaking that person out. Then make a plan for the next time. You can go for a walk. You can walk to the end of your street and just take some time to regain control. You can ask a vaccinated friend to come pick you up.

Once you've made your apologies, you can discuss boundaries and expectations with the other roommates.

This is where you can explain some of the problem. "I was already uncomfortable about having someone living here without paying actual rent, and I'm not great with dogs. And if that's what everyone else agrees to, then I'll make my peace with it. However, going forward I need to ask that none of us bring unvaccinated people into the place where I live. It makes me feel unsafe. I'm sorry, again, about freaking out, but I genuinely felt my safety threatened. At the very least, can you please give me advance warning so I can seek safety elsewhere while they're here?"

AITA for disapproving of my roommates having an antivaxx friend over?

In early 2021, I lived with 2 people in a 3br home with an unfinished basement. Roommate A's sister was moving into our basement while she found a new apartment. She'd moved out right before I moved in, but was unhappy moving several states away and needed a place to stay while she re-established and found a new rental. She'd be bringing her dog (an entirely untrained, recently stray chihuahua) and splitting utilities, but not rent. I was already apprehensive about this (i do not like dogs,) but tried to be accomodating of her situation.

It's normal to invite friends to help move, and I was made aware of this and when they would be helping. Into the morning after the primary move, when they were doing unpacking, I overheard one of the friends talking about how dangerous the covid vaccine was and felt the blood drain from my face.

In 2018, I got a broken rib, chronic bronchitis, costochondritis, and popcorn lung all within 9 months. I never fully recovered. Roommate B had been my friend through all of this, and was fully aware of my health issues. They were also aware I had no insurance to get checked out if I did have a health problem; the reason I got so many issues is because I had to diagnose and heal my rib at home.

When I expressed concern to Roommate B, I gradually got more upset that my health risks were not taken into consideration even to warn me to stay away for a while. However, because I said this using expressive hand gestures (no different than my usual way of speaking) I was firmly redressed by Roommate B for being rude, unaccomodating, selfish, and bratty. I was told that I am never to speak to them that way (using my hands) and that I was the problem.

Our friendship declined sharply after this, and within the year I was forced to move out, soon after the sister did. At the end, I was still considered the one in the wrong by both roommates.

So, Was I the asshole for using generalized gestures to express my discomfort when my health was being put at risk?

What are these acronyms?

[jimmyironwood]

james!

jimmy, jimmy, jimmy, my favourite man

Top Three Ships:

Hard to choose just three when he deserves everyone ever but IronQrow Irondeath Ironclock

Least Favourite Ships:

IronLion (james x lionheart) cannot imagine him doing anything but throttling the traitor in a non-sexy way, War Crimes because Tyrian scares me and I refuse to put one thought to him in a romantic setting, Silver Shamrock because clover gives me "im irish because my nan's best friend's painter was irish" vibes.

Biggest Criticism:

Whatever the fuck happened in volume 8 with the mantle bombing but at the same time that version of him does not exist in my mind I cannot criticise what isnt there. Also James darling just accept you never unlocked your semblance and have stubborn man disease instead of whatever the fuck Mettle is.

Favourite Thing:

Words do not go deep enough to describe the joy I feel when I think about him. He is my favourite thing.

But if I had to pick it would be his temperament. Even when being yelled at or receiving literally the worst news ever he took a moment to stop or lean against the wall or redirect his anger at an object rather than a person.

Headcanon:

I have so many.

He has a massive sweet tooth and his favourite sweet is mint imperials. He keeps some in his jacket pocket for on the go. Giant sweet tooth make soft thicc half metal man and that is ok

He is Fria's son.

He's actually a good headmaster and keeps tabs on all of his students.

Before he got his prosthetics, he had axe as his weapon, but afterwards he found he simply didn't have the mobility for a large weapon anymore and changed to Due Process

What I would change if I was making a rewrite:

I have a love-hate relationship with Mettle. On one hand it's dumb and it's a personality trait and it didn't even show up in the show and on the other hand it has so much potential and it is in every single fic I write. I'd like to make it more obvious. His eyes were a lot darker in vols 2-3 so let's say Mettle makes his eyes bluer when it has more of a hold over him.

I'd also like to see or hear a change when its in effect. Maybe his voice is more monotonous and cold, he stands straighter and moves stiffer. I'd make its effects stronger too, his altered mental state means he hyperfocuses until his task or goal is achieved, even if that means missing sleep or meals to do so (have the Ace Ops mention this. A simple line of "he hasn't left his office in... days" would suffice). Have it get to the point where he couldn't answer simple questions that aren't about his goal because every effort of his mind is dedicated to it. As his goal gets further away it makes him more desperate and his decisions seem more rash, but in his affected head they are the next logical choice to regain the ground he has lost even if he cannot see how irrational they are. The semblance is literally self-inflicted mind control! Go crazy! But have him voice it so we the audience can understand his thinking. Give him a lil character quirk of thinking out loud so that we're not left behind in an otherwise very mental and self affecting semblance.

Finally, I would like to see other characters acknowledge it. I feel it was hinted that Ozcar was going to go and talk to him in volume 8, I'd like to have seen that. He obviously has respect for Ozpin and Ozpin is one of the few characters who managed to change his mind before (see volume 2 scouts/flagbearers convo). If Oscar can convince two villains to finally make the switch to his side, he, with the help of Ozpin, can get through to James. Maybe RWBYJNR discuss it as part of their plan, ie, "if we can break his aura we have a chance of getting past his semblance, since that's when he's at his weakest" - this also affords insight into how aura affects passive semblances since it's otherwise unclear. Qrow can talk about it in the prison cell with Robyn, ie "I'm going to beat the semblance out and the sense back in". It would go great as part of their conversation about how semblances can negatively affect people.

Let. Ren. See. His. Petals. Or lack of petals. Imagine if Ren had used his shinigami eyes during the fight and seen no petals at all until his aura was broken, at which point he became so swamped in petals that Ren could barely see him.

Also I am getting rid of the Mantle bomb plot. And the part where he fights Winter twice within like an hour. She already anime moment beat him up, we didn't need to see it again. However I think Watts hacking the bomb once he's out of jail is a fun plot point to bring people together in the event that the bomb wasn't used to blow up Monstra. Also goodbye green fart cannon. Yucky. If you want him to have a big weapon give him an axe.

Also I'd give him a backstory. You don't make a character half metal and then not tell your audience why.

Sorry that became a whole essay about Mettle

What I think of his allusion:

I like the tin man allusion! It was easy to spot early on but the way it was used wasn't clear later on. Did he lose it? Did he use it too much? Did he begin to wish he didn't have one? I believe in the latter two but there is plenty of room for interpretation for the former.

I think there was room for the secondary allusion of Atlas the titan who holds up the world and I know a few people did indeed see that but I think it could've been reinforced in the show a little more.