#sorry for all the tags. I thought I'd make this clear as someone who has researched this; works with kids with disabilities and am Autistic

[askaceattorney]

Dear E.M.E.W,

No, and I don't believe anyone has to share your disability to relate to them. Chief Mod Edgeworth is also Autistic and relates to my little brother, even though he has PTSD and is a man.

Papa is a man of perfection, so rest assure if I did have any mental or physical disability, he would have had me checked and diagnosed.

- Franziska von Karma

[dotster001]

Eek~ I just found your blog and it's absolutely stupendous, so I'mma send my first request~ Dorm leaders (plus Ruggie, Lilia, and Rook)'s reactions to waking up to a random cat (not Grim, a real cat) on their chest. Upon closer inspection, the collar lists MC (they're romantic partner) as the owner. Thank you!! Sorry if that's too many people you can drop a few!

Summary: Ruggie/Leona/Riddle/Idia/Lilia x reader

A/N- didn't do all the boys, just the ones I thought would have the most variety of reactions. But if the people asked I'd be willing to do more

3k follower Masterlist

"Um, meow?"

His first instinct is to meow in confusion. What the fuck is this cat doing here? He came home for the night, clocked out on the couch, and now he's so dazed. He's not sure if this is even happening.

His next question is, does he have to feed it? He's already working hard to help you both in life. He's not sure he can afford another mouth to feed. Even if you are working, and assure him you'll pay for the cat, he's gonna whine on and on about it. It's going to become clear that he's secretly jealous about the thought of someone else taking his place in your heart.

Wanna get him to shut up? Tell him it's good practice for when you two decide to raise a family together. He won't have a good response to that aside from a very red face.

"Well, hello, little one."

He's going to carry it around like it's nothing. He might not even check the tag and see it's yours. He's fae. He sees something child shaped that he likes, he takes it. 

He's not sure if he'll give you the cat back. What do you have to offer him in exchange?

Don't worry, he won't really steal your cat, he's just being a delightful scamp. Now come here and give him a kiss.

"What are you doing here?"

First thing he does is check the collar. Because if he doesn't, he's going to get attached, then be sad when he has to give it back.

When he sees it's yours he gets more excited. He loves small squishy creatures, touch starved baby and now he gets to play with another one whenever he wants!

He'll get it a red collar, with a jewel pendant. He'll get it lots of cute outfits, he'll hold it up in the air, and regardless of gender, say things like, "behold! The true queen of hearts! Bow before their majesty!"

"Fuck off."

He can't help it. His instincts see a rival cat. And it has your smell on it. You're his territory. This home is his territory. Fuck off.

He hasn't moved, or stopped making eye contact with the "thing" since he woke up, and you're going to walk in on him having a staring contest with a house cat. He'll snap past his instincts only once you come into the room.

He wasn't jealous of a cat. Shut your fucking mouth before he shuts it for you!

"Omg! This is one of the best cutscenes I could have possibly woken up to!!!!!!"

The most excited out of anybody. He might even squeal, he's so excited. Might shout, might squeak, might excitedly scream as he spins around with the kitty in his arms. Gives it a nickname like Mr. Fluffers.

He'll be doubly excited when he sees your name on the tag. Now he doesn't have to have Ortho scan for a chip, and return it to some noob who doesn't deserve it! 

Anytime you talk about your cat, he pulls up a version of the communism meme that he edited to read, "Our Cat."

[solar-wing]

☀️ Omegaverse: Alpha & Omega Biology ☀️

Hi guys!

I wanted to make this post because I expected that I would need to explain this topic and my reasoning behind it at some point. Many of you have read my Omegaverse fics and have probably guessed correctly that it's my favorite AU or trope to write about.

But, I'm sure many of you have been slightly put off or dissuaded by my tendency to describe the Omega Male Reader with a cunt, wet heat or core, and their Alpha sucking on a 'nub' or playing with a cocklette. I totally get it.

I am a male author who writes for male readers, cis and trans alike. But, I am also someone who in my years has grown to detest labels and gender roles and the silent rules they put on us.

This is why I set up my version of Omegaverse and A/B/O Dynamics on the basis that Omegas have vaginal genitals and Alphas have phallus genitals, regardless of gender. In my eyes, it helps to create a more imaginable and realistic explanation of male pregnancy and pregnancy between two women, which I hope gives inspiration to wlw authors, even though I already know I'm not the first person to use this idea. Not even close.

Also, I just like the chaoticness of it all.

But, I know it can be jarring or off-putting for male readers who may not want to think of their themselves as the readers having a cunt or a pleasure nub. Which, also let me explain that.

Since I write for male readers, and I'm sure some may have an aversion to the terms vagina, pussy, folds, clit, etc., I do my best to steer away from using those words as much as possible. I know 'cunt' is probably not the next best thing but if anyone has suggestions, I'm more than open to hearing them!

But, I also detail the use of cocklettes and twats which may be a little confusing (and weird) to imagine or think about, but it's fiction. We all have weird fantasies, thoughts, ideas, etc.

The cocklette is the male omega's version of a penis. This tiny and often defective organ typically serves no purpose but as a bundle of nerves/pleasure spot for Omegas. A male equivalent of a clit.

Let me be clear; I am a cis-gendered male author. But, as I said, I write for male readers, ALL male readers. Cis, trans, and those are non-binary alike. This is why I typically don't put non-binary or trans in my tags because I'm keeping the reader as a character as ambiguous and open as possible.

The most I put in the tags regarding identity or label is gay so that it reaches more of the audience I want it to reach. That's it.

Also, I'm sure it doesn't help that I mainly write from a submissive point of view. I'm biased toward bottom/sub-male readers, I admit it. And I know there's a growing demand for top/dominant male reader content, but I'm sorry, that is just not my cup of tea.

But, if you don't want to read about yourself having vaginal parts and a cocklette, that is more than okay. That's why I always put a disclaimer in the warnings section of my author's notes if a fic is Omegaverse and include a link to my headcanons. I'm letting you know from jump what's in the fic you're about to read and giving you more than enough opportunity to turn away.

I do write smut that's not Omegaverse as well, plus I have many fics with no smut at all that keep things clean and open for my male readers to imagine themselves in.

This is not shade or me throwing shots at anyone who felt uncomfortable or surprised by it. It's completely valid, and I understand. But, I give plenty of warning and opportunity so there isn't any confusion.

You will likely never see me write an explicit trans male character since that's not part of my identity and I'd rather give that opportunity and shine to the authors who are of that identity. I just write what I like to write, or better yet, what I myself like to read.

The only thing that doesn't change is that my characters, reader or original, are and will always be MALE characters. Even if my Omegaverse characters have vaginal parts and their nipples leak more milk than a pregnant cow, they are MALE characters. Not female. They are boys, men, fathers, sons, brothers, uncles, nephews, boyfriends, husbands, misters, kings, princes, dukes, barons, cowboys, bachelors, fucking dudes, and every other word related in the dictionary. Again, no shade to any female reader I have, but yall know what it is to.

I hope this doesn't discourage anyone and that everyone receives it as I intended it. If you like my fics, please engage more with them and tell me the things you like and want to see more of! If you want more regular smut and less Omegaverse smut, I'm more than happy to comply, just please check my rules first!

Thank you!

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

why did you tag your post with gaz erasure my ass? like what was hard to believe that the cod fandom has blatant patterns of purposefully removing the only black character and replacing him with everyone under the sun? your friend lied about killing themself to make them look like a victim. and you participated in harassing people who saw this for what it was. you need to step back and reflect on your own self on why you thought that your friend’s “death” was caused by people calling out patterns of anti black racism and then go on to harass them. you are not an ally by any means.

Back when I used that tag, I paired it with another tag right after, it was meant to be an aggressive call out on misinformation, I had meant for it to read as 'Gaz erasure my ass, y'all just can't read'.

(This because the original post didn't read like intentional erasure but rather like codslut thought Gaz didn't fit the post, since she also didn't use Reboot Soap, she used *Captain* Soap, idk how best to explain it but to me the two soaps are different characters so i figured it was an intentional choice to use him and keegan rather than reboot soap and gaz)

Edit: I want to add that I also used codslut's own explanation as the basis for why I didn't think it was erasure. And at this point, she's clearly not to be fucking trusted, so it wouldn't surprise me if it really *was* erasure/racism and I believed her word that it wasn't.

As time went on, I dropped the last part of the tag of 'y'all just can't read', and looking back it not only reads as a racist dog whistle but also, just in general, sounds and looks fucking disgusting.

I've said this before, but I think it warrants saying again: I *didn't* mean to say Gaz erasure doesn't exist. It does very much exist in the community and even Activision themselves often erase Gaz from promo materials.

I'd hate for people to think that I either dislike Gaz or don't see the blatant racism/dislike/erasure that happens with him on the community. That's not the case. Gaz is a main character (unlike König like so many people try to replace him with) who I absolutely adore, and I call out erasure when I see it here on Tumblr, on Tiktok and on Twitter.

I never meant to make it seem like Gaz erasure doesn't exist. I only wanted to call out misinformation... and ended up doing the exact opposite of both my intentions. I'm sorry about that. It was not just disgusting but full on stupid of me.

I also want to say that I didn't think that that screenshot post specifically or even the act of people calling out racism where they saw it was the cause for codslut possibly killing herself. That is not what I meant at all. And I don't want anyone to think I blame @soapskneebrace or @glossysoap or anyone else for that. Blood was never on their hands, I want to make that very clear!!!!

When I was confronting people, I was doing so on the basis that they're big creators with big platforms and that by accusing codslut of racism/erasure they opened the door for anons to justify their actions when going after codslut because they have so much reach and people with bad intentions need less than that to justify the hate they send people.

Looking back, I know I was in the wrong for how I spoke. I was aggressive and rude and mean, and none of the people involved deserve that. Hell, my actions were hypocritical as hell and I probably opened the door for them to get hate themselves. I'm really fucking sorry.

If I could take it back, I would. I never believed nor wanted them to believe that someone potentially harming themselves was their fault. It wasn't.

I do plan on taking a step back to reconsider not just the way I acted but everything that's happened. In fact, I was already taking said break and came online only because I got word of @/fulltacs' post.

I appreciate and thank you for holding me accountable (and by that I mean you and everyone!). And I especially thank *you* anon for wording this ask this way, and giving me, at least, a chance to explain.

[twisted-confessions]

Yikes, I'm so sorry because I know that one is these is a KINDA popular ship but uh... I honestly hate any ships between anyone in diasomnia. Including silbek.

Now don't get me wrong, Im not going to hate anyone who ships it but it personally runs me as way too familial.

Also Leona x anyone OUTSIDE OF CRACKSHIPS. He is 20, they are 18 or younger. Ickyyy.

Also, staff with anyone. No.

Look, i do understand the inworld complications of most of the ships in Twst, especially with faes like Mal and Lilia. But sometimes depending on the oc and their background it works. Take someone who has a Faculty oc around the same age as Crewel or Sam, if they were shipped with one of the students (minus said fae), i'd agree that it's a problematic ship. Shipping's complicated man, it's just liking certain people to be together, whether romantically or platonically.

For my AU, Age will be a complicated thing for Isabella with the other students and I plan on her talking to others like Lilia about it. At first she thought she was just a teen Viking girl who came from different universe, then she finds out she's technically 1016 years old? That's older than even Lilia!!! How would one in her situation even find an "age-appropriate" partner? Especially if she has an extended lifespan thanks to plot twists. She still feels and acts and has been around for 16 years but thanks to the mysteries of how time travel could work, who can say? Was she just frozen there, still technically aging albeit slowly, or was it just being brought to the future in an instant?? Should she try dating one of the kids around her "age" or a fellow immortalish being who has had similar existential issues about romance and such? There is no real clear cut answer, especially since it's all a fictional story about some handsome magical bois lol.

Regardless, there will ALWAYS be complicated ships and there will always be people who ship them FOR FUN! Cause thats what shipping's for, fun. That doesnt give people a reason or excuse to just go up and say "That ship is WRONG and ILLEGAL you should be in JAIL-" or what not to someone who doesn't have the same ship ideals as you. That's why most fanfics that ship characters make sure to have warnings for people who DON'T like that stuff or tag that it features certain ships. Self-ships can get even MORE complicated because of age too, like for example, I myself am 20 years old so the only NRC student I could "legally" date is Leona but that doesnt mean I'm not allowed to imagine or fantasize about the other characters. At the end of the day, enjoy what you enjoy and let others enjoy what they like too. Everyone has their preferences.

[crabussy]

I'm not putting anything in the tags, turn on comments coward. Have you tried to use google lately or any other search engine? they censor a plethora of information and are known to feed narratives based on what certain corporate counterparts want. I would rather hear from a person, or even ai who has the toolset to officially attain information convey a specific point rather than provide some of the most mind numbing journalism articles to ever exist. Scholar is the only good part of google anymore unless you're checking the weather.

hi there! I'm a bit baffled by the tone of this, we're strangers and I don't understand why you felt it was okay to call me a coward over this, but I'm going to try and explain a few things to hopefully clear this up! I'm very sorry you felt upset at the wording of my poll.

first, I have comments off because people kept using my comments to make fun of me, or call me awful things. this was on posts that were apolitical in nature, too. I guess I'm pretty easy to bully. I'm just trying to reduce the number of upsetting comments I see about myself. my comments are off on all posts (unless you've been following me for over a week!). I'm sorry, I'd turn them on for this post if I could but the setting can only be applied across my entire blog. You can totally reblog and put your thoughts in the body of the post though! that way it doesn't get lost in the tags.

next, I realise I wasn't clear about what kind of information the poll was about. I was talking about questions like "what does 'myriad' mean?" or "what is the name of the fruit in this image?" or "are kiwi birds extinct?", all of which I've seen something similar being asked in the comments of posts. I wasn't talking about the more nuanced, complex, important information that needs a lot of explaining. I'm very sorry I wasn't more clear in my post, I'm going back to edit it and clarify after I've posted your ask!

Lastly, you do have a good point. search engines are notorious for picking and choosing information and are very prone to corporate interference. but please, in future, try not to assume the worst about people you don't know! I posted that poll for fun, out of curiosity, and apologised for the lack of nuance in the post. I was quite surprised and hurt at how unkind your wording was, when it didn't need to be at all. you could have conveyed the exact same information without calling me a coward for a choice I made. I understand that this subject is important to you and you might have felt like I was restricting your ability to share your thoughts, which could have influenced the tone you chose, but like I explained, it was for entirely unrelated reasons, to keep myself safe online. I know you might be used to people who do this kind of thing on purpose, or are intentionally abrasive towards you and others, and I'm really sorry if that's the case. It still hurts to hear someone call me names.

[roobylavender]

do you think bruce is abusive? i don't mean in the physical way they've been writing his as recently but emotionally.

it's very clear that he does love his children but some abusers do genuinely love the people they hurt and just think they are in the right (thinking of my own dad who somehow couldn't understand why we didn't want to talk to him because he always took care of us but treated our mother. badly. and in front of us when we were little kids.)

and i'm not sure whether i count bruce in that because while it doesn't look like what i'm familiar with i thought i'd ask because only recently i've actually come across people who see him as abusive but do actually see the character as he is and love it and i was wondering what you thought

sorry if i'm dumping too much on you or it isn't something you want to answer, feel free to delete/ignore, i just think the answer is more interesting from people who genuinely love and understand bruce as a character as you seem to and i've only seen it from two other people so i wondered what you thought

i don't mind answering! this is one of those asks where i wish i tagged my stuff bc i've talked about it before but my outbox tag is so populated that it takes way too long to search through lol (and unfortunately as we all know tumblr's in-blog search function is broken beyond repair). but tldr i would say bruce as he's existed for the past thirty years or so is abusive. my divergence in opinion is simply that i don't think he ever should have been made so. his more modern characterization as someone reactive and prone to lashing out at others, particularly his children, has never made sense to me and i don't think it's heavily supported by pre-crisis canon. the extent of bruce's failings as a parent should reflect his inability to communicate and his growing tendency to be a shut-in. which i know some people take to be comparable to neglect but ig i don't think it should ever go that far.. like when i say inability to communicate i don't mean him failing to take care of his kids or giving them their due attention when he's raising them but moreso falling into a pit of despair and guilt once they've reached adulthood bc he feels like he's signed their death note by enabling their lives as vigilantes. i do think parentification can potentially come into it but ideally i would want it to be nipped in the bud sooner rather than later if that makes sense. like we should've been over bruce's depressive "i'm a terrible parent and everyone i love dies so i should just do everything on my own and slowly k*ll myself in the process" episode by the early 00s at latest. and it should've been acknowledged that a large part of what drove him into that depressive episode was jason's death, so realistically being given the time and space to process jason's death and its implications properly would have allowed for bruce to seek closure and move forward and be less.. whatever he is now. to me the successive whammies of identity crisis and war games and under the hood deliberately thwarted that

[implausiblyjosh]

I made a post a couple days ago about the Quinton Reviews situation. I'm deleting that post.

In that post, I expressed my emotional response and thought process as to why I saw vague posting from Lady Emily and Sarah Z as fucked up, and how it seems like people are vaguely alluding to Quinton being creepy without providing anything other than vibes and a handful of awkward DMs posted publicly on twitter in early 2021. In my mind, here's two people who I have seen with my own eyes have a history of spinning a narrative in bad faith, sometimes in the face of clear contradictory evidence, and one of whom has a negative history with the person in question. Since it was all vague posting, there are no specifics. There was just a pattern of history to go off of, and it looked clearly bad to me. I expressed that sentiment on here, and clarified questions and points people had when the post started getting traction.

Yesterday, Sarah Z saw it and reblogged it to her followers with clarification that her vague post was actually about Colleen Ballinger. Since then, she and others have suggested or demanded that I delete the post because it's misinformation, that I shouldn't have made a call out post for something I didn't have the full picture of, that I should have just asked her what was up, and that I was aiming to make a viral post.

The post was never a call out post. I was, very clearly, expressing frustration at something that was bothering me with public vague posts I was seeing. There was no call to action, I wasn't warning people about anyone, I was simply saying "this shit sucks!" about what I was seeing online. If that's your definition of a call out post... I'm not sure what to tell you.

I also do not really understand the "you should have just asked me" line. Not only because all lines of personal messaging to you were closed off, but why would I try and ask about a vague posting, seemingly vent post, wherein you say it's a red flag to vent to your audience because it leads to bad things. On top of that, I really don't need to reach out for comment, I'm not a journalist. I'm venting frustrations with public vague posts.

I'd also like to say that the angle that I was intentionally trying to make a viral post is silly at best. My initial post had no tags on it, and I cannot control what posts of mine speak to people. I'm also not sure if ~2k notes (at the time Sarah Z brought up the viral angle) is really viral, but I don't think I've ever had a post crack 200 before this weekend. Feel free to correct me on that. Additionally, you reblogged this to your audience instead of messaging me. All my lines of messaging on here are open, and it wouldn't have spread as far if you didn't reblog me.

I do not think my read of the vague posts were out of line. I laid out my reasons to think that Sarah Z is someone who spins a narrative, sometimes in the face of clear contradictory evidence, in her published work. I've also seen a pattern of making digs at him, on top of the posting of the DM from him. I simply do not trust her in this instance, and seeing it all line up just so made it seem like it was a dig at him. And while she's saying that I'm wrong, and that the post wasn't about him, she's still implying he's a creep in that clarifying post. So while she says I'm wrong about the vague post, my "seems like people are calling him a creep based on vibes and awkward DMs" point seemingly still stands.

At the end of the day, I wanted to vent on here about something that was bugging me. I didn't wanna dance around my specific points, so I was specific in what bothered me. I do not think I was as clear as I could have been in what my specific issues were, and for that I'm sorry. If/When I make criticisms in the future I will be sure to be as clear as I possibly can be.

The post is now gone, and I'll leave this pinned on my account for awhile.

[ikamigami]

Ehhh I think that Sun will "die" but later.. not before October definitely..

Cause even if Ruin said that wither shards won't kill Sun.. we all know that they're very dangerous and Sun's magic is a wild one.. so I have a really bad feeling about this..

And I think that Ruin may try to tell Sun and Moon or warn them that Nexus is really looking for wither shards.. and I think that Sun will agree to find them before Nexus could do that..

But.. I have a feeling that Nexus will find out via Ruin about Sun's abilities and he'll kidnap Sun (or maybe he'll try to force Sun in different way by threatening that he'll something to his closed ones maybe?) to force him to look for those shards (it's hard to say what will happen to Ruin then)..

But I think that this what may kill Sun or he'll end up in a magic coma because of that.. but I think that Moon's line from "Sun is moving on" episode that Sun better not do something stupid to try to help Dazzle.. fit to what was stated quite a few times already.. that Sun is ready to sacrifice himself to protect his family.. he'll definitely go "too far" at cost of his own life to protect his family..

Because as much as Sun is moving on from July 16th trauma.. it won't magically fix his mental state.. he has mental disorder for years and his delusions is something that will be hard to deal with.. after he still blames himself for July 16th to some extent cause he wants to make up for it even though none of this was his fault.. but he subconsciously still feels this way just like he told Moon.. he knows it wasn't his fault but he can't help these feelings and that's because of his delusions..

And situation with Nexus will definitely negatively impact Sun's mental state.. cause it's clear as day that Sun feels responsible for New Moon's mental state and because of that for his actions as well..

I'm sure that Nexus will regret what he's done if Sun will "die" because of him especially if he'll find out that Sun still loves and cares about him..

At last I want to point out that it surely ain't a coincidence that Nexus resembles KC's old look when he was still bad and that he acts similarly to Creator.. but is it because Creator "fixed" killcode's issue in New Moon.. it's hard to say.. especially considering that Creator is so angry.. it's unlikely that Nexus is under his influence.. but who knows.. I definitely think that it'd be a good plot twist.. (it's definitely not because I'd love for my theory to be right xd)

Also I think that Nexus will fight with Moon.. this is more than likely to happen.. and also like someone said (probably @goodolddumbbanana but I don't remember exactly sorry if I'm wrong and sorry for the tag also cause I tagged you I have a question: what do you think about my thoughts here?) I think that Nexus will betray or try to betray Dark Sun..

[casualaruanienjoyer]

Prompt idea: AU where Niccolo introduces Sasha to his parents 🙂

Anon!!!! Aaa this is adorable😭 right right, there are many ways to go about this one, but I think I have an idea, so enjoy!! Sorry it's so long!! (Also my headcanon is that Niccolo's family is whatever the equivalent of Italian is in the world of AOT)

Meeting Niccolo's parents

Niccolo and Sasha have known each other for a while now. Since he got tasked with cooking for the military, they meet almost every day. Sasha was always there first, breakfast, lunch, dinner. It didn't matter! She'd arrive early to ask him about the menu for the day, and she'd usually manage to get extra food from him too. She was always the last one to leave.

Niccolo is, quite frankly, absolutely smitten with this unsophisticated woman. The more he cooked for her, the more he fell for her. She's just… hilarious! He'd never met anyone like her before, someone that enjoys his food so much. Someone that is so unapologetically gluttonous and wild. It amuses him.

Sasha, on the other hand, felt rather confused. Every time she saw Niccolo, she felt very happy, bashful even. But was it her love for his food making her feel like that, or was there something else? She decided to not think about it too much. She didn't usually take feelings like this very seriously.

But today she finds this to be almost impossible.

Today they are set to visit Marley, take a bit of time off to explore the world beyond the walls. And Niccolo somehow managed to convince Captain Levi to let him tag along. Niccolo owns him a lifetime supply of exotic tea, but that doesn't matter now.

What matters is that today he will visit his parents. This was an agreement between him and Captain Levi alone, since it has been a while since Niccolo last saw his parents. They are growing old, and he doesn't know when he'll get to see them again.

"Come, I'd like you to meet someone" Niccolo whispers and pulls Sasha into the crowd with him. It doesn't take long for them to lose the others, and Sasha is confused. "Don't worry, the Captain knows about this."

His grip on her hand is firm, and they walk so fast that she has to hold onto her hat to stop it from being taken away by the ocean breeze.

"Not long now" he turns to her, smiling, and Sasha's heart skips a beat. Her brows furrow and she looks down at the rhythmic movement of her feet. Why did she feel like this?

They soon arrive before a narrow building, squished between many others. Niccolo fixes his clothes and hair, then knocks on the door.

An older, taller man with a pretty impressive moustache opens the door slightly and his eyes widen when he sees Niccolo. "BIANCA, COME HERE! IT'S NICCOLO!!" The two basically yank Niccolo and Sasha inside. His mom checks him all over while his dad rushes out the room to set the dining table.

Sasha feels out of place. Why did Niccolo bring her here?

His parents ask numerous questions.

"Where have you been???"

"Have you eaten???"

"Are they treating you well in the navy???"

"Who is this pretty young lady???"

"I'm fine, I'm fine! I swear!" Niccolo scratches the back of his neck, embarrassed. "Papa, Mamma, I want you to meet Sasha" and he gestures towards Sasha, taking her hand in his.

Sasha's heart skips another beat. What is happening?

"Oh my, what a pretty name!"

Sasha clears her throat. "Ah-um. Nice to meet you!" She says a bit too seriously, extending a determined hand towards the dad, shaking his vigorously. She then proceeds to do the same for his mom. She comes off a bit stiff, but they smile regardless.

"Wow, such strong arms! Are you also in the navy?" Bianca asks.

Niccolo looks at Sasha with a knowing gaze. "Yeah. Yes, we met in the navy. Of course" she smiles, hoping they buy their story. Sasha's never even been good with boats. They make her sea sick.

"Unfortunately, we can't stay long, our ship only pulled in here for a few hours. But I thought we could enjoy lunch together?"

"Yes yes of course bambino mio, we were just about to enjoy some home made pasta together."

The table is now set and everyone grabs a seat. Sasha can't help but admire their beautiful home. It feels very warm and cosy.

"Sasha, have you ever had Testaroli? I hope you'll like mine!" Bianca says as she bring out plates full of delicious looking food. Sasha has no idea what Testaroli was, but she couldn't care less. She was now INCREDIBLY hungry.

"Ah mamma, I'm sure Sasha will lo-" but the moment the plates touch the table Sasha immediately digs in. She takes a forkful of pasta and shoves it in her mouth. She looks incredibly focused, assessing every foreign flavour in her mouth. Her brows furrow and relax and her expression changes several times per second.

She lowers her cutlery, one hand reaching up to wipe some tears that hang at the corners of her eyes. "This… this is MAGNIFICENT! AMAZING! DELICIOUS! HOW HAVE I LIVED MY WHOLE LIFE WITHOUT KNOWING ABOUT TESTAROLI" she whines dramatically, leaning back in her chair and throwing her arms in the air.

Her parents are in complete shock, but Niccolo laughs and pats Sasha on the back. "There there, don't worry about it, I can make it for you any time you want!"

Sasha looks at him with big sparkly eyes and smiles widely.

Niccolo and his parents burst out laughing while Sasha continues to devour her pasta. They spend the rest of their lunch chatting about Niccolo's parents and what they have been up to.

Time finally comes for them to leave, and Niccolo hugs his parents very tightly. "I hope to see you again, mamma, papa. Please take care of yourselves!"

Bianca wipes some tears away while Stefano proceeds to slap Niccolo's back really hard, dad style.

"Next time see you at the wedding, no? HAHAHA" Niccolo's dad shouts as they leave through the door, and Sasha almost trips and falls down the modest set of stairs in front of the entrance.

"The WHAT-?"

💜This fic is now also on AO3

[builtbybrokenbells]

Hi t!! I just read Reaching New Heights and I've never liked a fic so fast. Bless that anon for sending the ask and thank you for making it come true in the best way. I have to admit I'm a sucker for soft virginity/first time trope, maybe because it's something I've never had. It's so soft and sweet and smoking hot all at the same time and the epitome of fictional men written by women (I mean this as a compliment and I'd choose fictional men over men in real life any day, duh) it instantly reminds me of the episode on Unwaxed podcast where Emily Morse talked about how some so many portrayal of sex scenes in movies and stuff aren't realistic like women actually need time to properly warm up and it's just not realistic for them to have an orgasm in two minutes in an elevator or something. I mean we can all dream in fictional world, but it's just awesome from time to time to read something that has the proper build up (the part with the kisses rather than just rushing into it....top tier writing) I saw dee reblogs it with the tag "men take notes" and I 🙌🙌🙌 I am on my period and anxious as f^ck because of a task I have for tomorrow but coming cross this piece of art feels like a kiss on the forehead. bless your heart for making a stranger feel so soft, mushy, and happpy that she cries a little....THANK YOU SO MUCH. (I am sorry if this is long and TMI, I'm sorry if this sounds awkward....lqiudghxiy I just really need to say it out loud because it's just soooooo goooooood)

Hello, lovely 🤍 let me just say, your words have kept a smile on my face all day long. I wanted to take a minute to formulate a proper response, because you have no idea how appreciative I am for you!

I have also found myself enjoying the virginity/first time trope, and I tend to believe that it’s because my first time was nothing short of awful (and that’s putting it… lightly) and I have spent my entire life dreaming of fictional men that would treat me better than real life men.

I was so nervous to post it, as well as Picasso, which I posted some time ago, now. It was my way of airing out my desire for someone who treated me well, yet I still recognized that first time fics are very difficult to write well. I also fear that with a request like such, that I cannot capture the readers vision as clear or well as they would like me to.

As I posted it and read some messages and comments, I realized that there’s a lot more people who have had the same types of experiences and feelings about the topic than I originally thought. To hear that this made you feel such a way makes me incredibly happy, and I cannot express my gratitude enough.

As for the details, sometimes I feel like it’s easy to forget the build up in lieu of the main event. Especially when there’s so many fics out there that are hot, and exceptionally well written. I hate to say that I did end up cutting out quite a bit of stuff from the main draft, and now that I read this, it makes me feel as though I should have left it. To know that was the part that stuck out with you makes me incredibly happy, because it stuck out to me, too. (I swear I could write a novel about good foreplay and only that, because that’s how much it means to me.)

Good banter and build up are just as essential as the main event to me while creating a scene, as well as a relationship to the story. In a world where it’s normalized for men to leave women unfulfilled, I think it’s quite important to focus on that more than anything else, especially in these types of fics.

I am so grateful for your kindness, and for everyone else who took time to leave a comment. Messages like this and people like you are the reason I come on here and share my work, and I would not be here without your support. Thank you so much for brightening my day, and I’m so glad that my writing could bring you so much joy.

I hope your task tomorrow goes well, and thank you again for being my shred of happiness for the day 🤍

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Don't Go Blindly Into the Dark

Summary:

To hide that he can't read, Jan Van Eck has been forcing his son to pretend he's blind since he was eight years old. Wylan is now attending Ketterdam University, and meeting Jesper Fahey may very well be about to change his life. But is he safe to tell Jesper the truth? And what will Jesper say if he does?

Jesper is struggling to weigh up his life in the Barrel and his life at the University of Ketterdam, and there's a good chance that his growing debt is about to make the decision for him. He hasn't attended class consecutively for months, but maybe that will change when his newest project includes partnering up with Wylan Van Eck. But can he really leave the Barrel behind him? And how long can he keep up the pretence of who he thinks Wylan wants him to be?

Tags: @justalunaticfangirl @lunarthecorvus

If anyone else would like to be tagged let me know :)

Content warnings for this chapter: death, descriptions of dead bodies, blood, wounds, murder, implied violence, weapons

AO3 link

NOTE: Hello, it's in fact the day after I thought I had shared this and I just opened my laptop to realise this was still open on here as a draft - I posted it on ao3 and was fully convinced I'd put it on here too but apparently not. So sorry about that, but here it is now!! <33

Chapter 26 - Nina

Nina got just about the fright of her life when she walked into Inej’s bedroom at the Slat.

She’d left Kaz’s office at the Crow Club walking in tandem with him as he crossed out onto the main floor and they found themselves greeted by an onslaught of shouting and flashing colours; the Makker’s wheels clunked loudly as they spun, people were laughing as though they’d been told the sound of it was the only thing they’d be able to leave behind when they died and they wanted to make sure it counted, counters and cards and heavens knew what else clattered and cluttered in every direction. Nina sighed. She was on the second day of her suspension and already not enjoying her sudden and unfortunately necessary proximity to the Crow Club and the Slat. She usually steered clear unless she was needed for a job; Kaz had labelled her a son for it but she didn’t much care what Kaz Brekker thought of her. 

“Where did you stay last night?” he asked, stopping near the bar.

“Anika’s,” 

She’d been on shift all night, so she’d let Nina use her room at the Slat - not that she’d slept particularly well. Anika wasn’t working tonight though, so Nina was going to have to find someone else’s bed to steal. 

“Inej was meant to be working tonight,” said Kaz, “but I assume-”

“Not gonna happen. Give a couple of days,”

“But she’ll be alright?”

Nina narrowed her eyes. What was he planning now?

“For what?”

Kaz’s dark eyes fixed on Nina for a moment, flat and angry, a shark’s glare.

“For her,”

Nina restrained the need to raise an eyebrow.

“She should be,”

And apparently that was the end of the conversation, because Kaz unturned around and walked away. Nina rolled her eyes at his back, then spun on her heel and wound her way through the crowd towards the doors. It was almost impressive that the crowds here managed to be just as colourful as those on West Stave, despite their lack of costumes or capes or masks. They were perhaps even brighter, not confined to the red cape of Mr Crimson or the blue veil of the Lost Bride, the horns of the Grey Imp or the orange mask of the Madman.

Almost as soon as Nina stepped outside she was nearly knocked from her feet by Jesper striding back past her towards the Club, and when she called after him he either didn’t hear her or neglected to reply. Probably the latter. She stood and watched the door that had closed behind him for a moment, biting her lip, wondering if he was alright and where Wylan had gone. Still, the baby merch was under Dregs’ protection - word would spread quickly that Kaz wanted it that way and no-one was going to argue, and no matter what questions they might want to ask about it she doubted anyone would get answers - and Jesper was, well, Jesper. He would play, he would drink, he would either track Wylan down and apologise or pretend the entire thing had never happened, and he would accept help from no-one in no form whatsoever during the process. Part of her wanted to try to offer anyway, but the rest of her was pointing out that they would only argue, she would only leave him feeling more alone. And anyway, she needed to get back to Inej.

The crowds thinned quickly as Nina slipped down the street and across the canal, then followed it briefly South before veering off through the crooked little streets towards the Slat. Ketterdam, or at least this part of the Barrel, looked like it should belong in a picture book or a children’s story; there were always some kind of smog-soaked, grey, unhappy little streets that pretty little children lived in before they found out they were secretly royal or fairies or some other nonsense, and every inch of the road curling in front of Nina could have been a watercolour painting tucked neatly between the pages of any one of them. This could have even been one of the many streets where Sankta Anastasia bled. That option might fit the atmosphere around here better. The entire story was actually shockingly Kerch, Nina had always thought. 

There was still gossip flying around about the Leopard when she stepped over the threshold of the Slat. Nina had heard some girl had vanished from the Sweet Shoppe this morning as well; someone with some sort of gemstone name - sounded very fake. That concerned Nina; it would be quite the coincidence for them both to go missing so close to each other.

“Amethyst ran though,” said a boy whose name Nina couldn’t quite place, though she knew she’d seen him around before, “That’s what they’re saying, anyway,”

Yes, Amethyst, that was her name. Or her pseudonym, at least.

He was sitting cross-legged on one of the tables with three others lounging on chairs around him. Layla, one of the servers from the Crow Club who Nina had seen with this boy on several occasions, was leaning forward from her chair to rest her head against his knee, and he was running his fingers through the hair above her ear. 

“Right,” she said, briefly lifting her chin to look up at him, “‘Cause Rollins would absolutely love the publicity of oopsies, let my girl get kidnapped not two weeks after a kidnapping with the exact same pattern happened down the street,”

“Not sure he’d really care, Layle,” said one of her friends.

“‘Bout blaming her, ‘stead of him isn’t it?” said the other, “Or just blaming anyone. I’m getting a drink, who wants one?”

They all started talking, and the girl stuck two choice fingers up.

“Get ‘em yourselves then,”

They all laughed, clamouring over one another and pretending to throw something at the friend sauntering away. The other friend bounded to their feet and hurried after her, whilst Layla climbed up onto the table and leant against her boy’s shoulder, proceeding to whisper something that made him pink right up to his ears.

“Layla,”

She giggled, leaning backwards, and promptly toppled off the table. The boy gasped and jumped forwards; he managed to catch her hands in midair but too late to stop her thunking into the floorboards. She lay there for a moment, still giggling, her light brown hair splayed around her like a spilled inkpot, and her arms in the air where she was holding his hands. He was almost lying on his stomach for how far he’d leaned across the table, and after she arched her back slightly so she was just close enough to him to say something Nina couldn’t quite hear she gave him a sharp tug so he fell straight off the table and on top of her. Both of them laughed loudly, and she could see him threading his fingers through her hair as they rolled over and he gently invited her closer. Their foreheads touched, their lips met, and Nina suddenly realised that she had dug her own nails so deep into her palm that she had left herself with crescent moon indents where her fingers lay in her fists. She turned away. 

When had she become someone who couldn’t watch others being happy?

The girl she used to be would have smiled.

She had made her choice, there was nobody else to blame for that, and no matter how hard she was trying to undo it she knew that she would make it again. She had saved Matthias’ life. She had ruined both their lives, but at least they were both still living.

Or they were at least surviving, anyway. 

Layla and whatever her boy was called were still laughing as they clambered to their feet and he pressed her firmly into a chair, kissing her on her forehead and telling her to keep both feet planted on the floor.

“I’d quite like it if you’re not deathly injured when I return with our drinks, you know,” he grinned, “It would be a dreadful waste of money if I’d bought two and you weren’t here to drink yours,”

“Don’t be silly,” she swatted his shoulder, “You’d just have to drink both,”

Nina swallowed tightly, and slipped upstairs.

It took several attempts at knocking on Inej’s door to get a response. At first Nina wondered if she was still asleep and if that was the case then if she should just leave her to rest, but then she was pretty sure she heard footsteps of shuffling or something and so she knocked again, a little harder this time. 

“Inej?” she called, when there was still no response.

Nothing. Now she was starting to get concerned. She knocked again.

“Inej, are you alright?”

No response.

“Okay, Inej if you don’t reply I’m gonna come in just to make sure you’re alright, if you don’t want me to then tell me now - or give me some kind of signal, maybe?”

Not a single sound, bar the ever-present choruses throughout the rest of the house. Nina fidgeted, fingers tensing over the door handle.

“Inej?” she waited a moment longer, but still there was no reply, “Okay, I’m coming in,”

Her fingers slipped slightly on the handle but she pushed the door slowly open and it clattered loud enough to make her teeth hurt as it thwacked against the chair Nina had brought into the room the previous day. Nina had kept the chair nearer the window, but Inej must have moved it for something because now its back was tangled in the door knob and both of them were stuck. Nina squeezed herself through the gap she’d managed to create, and very nearly screamed as she stumbled straight into a very limp body. 

Her heart leapt as she nearly tripped over the stranger’s pale, outstretched arm, the skin on her bare forearm tattooed with a hand, the first two fingers cut off at the knuckle. Black Tips. Someone from the Black Tips had broken into Inej’s room? Oh Saints. Oh Saints. Oh Saints. She was probably a few years older than Nina, her face almost peaceful. Her other hand had been neatly laid over the knife wound in her chest as though by covering it up you could pretend it didn’t exist. Her eyes had been closed and by the looks of things the knife she was holding had been laid there for her because it was pressed flat between her torso and the palm that had been moved into place. Nina knew that she was dead but she reached out briefly with her power anyway, just in case, and felt no heartbeat, no breathing, no impulses. The blade in the woman’s hand glittered in the light coming through the open window, and as Nina tried very hard to focus on that and not anything else she realised with a start that it was the knife she’d pulled out of Inej’s leg just yesterday; the rose etched at its base full cleaned of blood and glimmering like new metal. This was Liesbeth Stoevelaar, then? Or it had been, anyway.

Liesbeth Stoevelaar was dead, and the Wraith was nowhere to be seen.

[elliespuns]

Hi

Just coming on here to clear up a couple things and mostly to apologize. I left the anon on the confessions account about your blog and the anon that got published mentioning your blog specifically was one I assumed would not be posted after seeing the confession page requirements (that say no user mentions will be published) after I had submitted it. I resubmitted an ask taking out any users and that anon was focused as a general point on accounts that I have seen scrolling through the Ellie tag on Tumblr (not your blog) that actually have posted really concerning and bordeline perverted things about young Ellie (ex weird sexual AI art of young Ellie, weird comments about Bella Ramsey not looking enough like Ellie/saying Ellie in part one of the game was more attractive) I have never seen a post from your blog that I thought was perverted and that is a point that I feel was worth reaching out through here about. I have thought that there is potentially odd tone used in some posts with younger Ellie where also your language sounds like an older writer but you have cleared that up and said all your good intentions with your recent post. I never intended to make you feel like you should leave Tumblr and I think you have contributed positively towards the tlou community on Tumblr I am just overly cautious and was trying to say a potential concern as in my main fandom group there has been a lot of really strange blog posts about characters on tumblr who are minors before. On tlou Tumblr and tikok I have come across many posts involving teenage Ellie in the hotel flashback of part 2 in weirdly objectifying ways and that is more so where the concern was based as at that point she was still a kid. Please don’t leave tumblr because of this and again I am sorry for the harm this has clearly caused as that was truly never my intention. There are blogs on here who do post things I find truly concerning but you are not one of them.

Um, okay, I did not expect this. I am completely stunned. In the best way possible. It surprises me that people who once wronged someone anonymously would stand up and take their time to explain or even apologize. 

I've checked the confessional blog again today, and the post is gone. I have no idea if it was you who made this happen, but anyway... thank you for coming through to apologize and get rid of the post that was making me look very bad for those who have never interacted with me. 

I realize it may look weird when my pfp is young Ellie and some of my 'thirsty' posts are about Ellie. To be honest, up until now, I'd never even thought about explaining that none of these posts have anything to do with her young self. Not even in a million years would I think that people would read such posts on my blog and think they were aimed at our kiddo.

Look, I know it'd be better to specify whether I'm talking about young or adult Ellie when sharing unhinged posts without pictures, but honestly, it'd feel over-the-top crazy to me.

Firstly, why would I try to disrespect or creep around the only character I've ever loved so much? Secondly, not only does specifying such details take the fun out of the content that is supposed to be spontaneous and cheeky, but it's also very restrictive.

This blog is a place I love coming back to; why would I even try to post anything concerning when I know how overly sensitive this fandom is? I don't even feel safe venting any of my opinions about the show here because it's so easy to get hate for thinking out loud, so why would I risk losing all the wonderful people who have been following me from the start by acting like a predator towards young Ellie?

And it's just so funny because I may be 30, but in reality, I'm shorter than Ellie, and I even look younger. So if anyone's molesting anyone, it's Ellie molesting me. (That's a joke, obviously). Why am I even explaining it?

As I said before, my consciousness is clear, and I have no problem attaching my real face to this blog because I know I've never shared anything discourteous or impertinent and never will. Do you really think this potato head would be capable of thinking profane things about baby Ellie? I don't even know what profane is (I do, but don't tell anyone).

Anyway, I was truly baffled and disappointed when I read the confession because I understood NOTHING. I kept thinking about it for a long time, and I couldn't get it out of my head that someone would go through my posts and feel off about the content they saw.

I don't want to spend my time overthinking every post before sharing because, god forbid, I use ONE specific word or phrase and everyone will think of me as a molester. 

I like to joke on my blog. I do that... a lot, actually. So most of my posts need to be taken with a grain of salt. Especially those that literally scream 'sarcasm'. So you either need to get used to my humor and understand I'm not always deadly serious (unless the topic requires it) or you need to unfollow and move along because I won't be apologizing for my passion to make posts based on my spontaneous thoughts. I don't want to tiptoe around people because there's always someone who doesn't like this and that.

I also think it's important to realize that Ellie (as a game character, not talking about the show) is a pixelated, fictional character. Not only don't I ever try to disrespect her, even though she's just a bunch of pixels, but she's also not real (even I'm shocked right now), so nothing anyone says about her online can really hurt her. Not the Ellie this blog is about.

I get that people get overprotective of her (I do too) because damn, it's so easy to forget that this girl doesn't exist in the real world, but to the point of hating, reporting, or harassing? I don't think that's right either.

Anyway, thank you for coming through. I appreciate it, and all is okay. I wonder who you are now. Oh, and if it was really you who requested the ugly post to be taken down, thanks for that too.

[mauesartetc]

PSA regarding character design asks

For those of you who are new here, if you take a look at the "character design" tag in this blog's archive, you'll notice I post a fair bit about the subject, sometimes helping others improve their own designs. I love getting these kinds of asks, as working out design kinks is a fun challenge for me (despite urgent life shit delaying my response times. Folks who've sent me design asks in the past few months: They're in my drafts and I thank you for your patience).

But recently I received an ask that displayed some rather disappointing behavior, and I thought I'd take this opportunity to nip it in the bud. This isn't a callout post, and I'm not trying to sic the shame squad on this person. I just want to stress to all of you that this isn't okay.

The ask included an image of a character they drew and some brief paragraphs of background information. Typical fare for this kind of ask. Everything was fine until the last two sentences.

I have to confess that I shamelessly stole the [clothing article] from [someone else's character design]. But since [worldbuilding info related to a real-life thing the other person's design was based on], it made perfect sense.

I looked up the original design they were referring to, and sure enough, they had traced so much of it that half of their design wasn't really theirs. Because it "made perfect sense."

I'm going to say this in the most civil way I possibly can.

ANYTHING. Would have made more sense. Than art theft.

"But Maue, it's just part of a design, not the whole thing". Doesn't matter. Theft is theft. And I want to make it clear to everyone reading this that if you think it's in any way acceptable to rip off another character designer, my posts haven't taught you a damn thing. Frankly I'm a bit insulted that this person assumed I'd be complicit in this.

For the record, professional designers do NOT steal from others, or at least the good ones don't. They might be inspired by an existing design, but, importantly, they'll use other inspirations too, and put their own unique spin on it. It's just a starting point, not the final product.

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but this ain't just imitation; it's the equivalent of copying another kid's homework in school. This is cheating. I've had one of my own characters shamelessly ripped off before, and there was nothing flattering about it. It just made me feel used, like a parasite had sucked me dry. I never want anyone else to feel that way, and I hope to God none of y'all do either.

Folks, if you want to design your own characters, do the research and actually design your own characters. It's really not that hard. Sure, the first attempts might look terrible, but at least they'll come by their shittiness honestly. Ugly art that tried has infinitely more charm than gorgeous art that didn't.

I'm sorry if this comes off as harsh, but I take this shit seriously. So please don't send me asks containing stolen artwork. I won't respond and you'll earn yourself a block. Fair warning.

Don't get lazy. You know better, so do better.

Thanks.

[whatstruthgottodowithit]

Hey cutie!!!💕💕💕🙃

So I'd thought of this scenario the other day, where the reader is working at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital and she's an ex of Jackson Avery (they're still friends); he goes there because someone close to him gets injured and so as he searches for the reader for help, where he also gets to meet one of the new interns, Daniel Kwan, who happens to be reader's best friend since college (who has feelings for her but she doesn't know) and while to Jackson that is very clear, the reader, on the other hand, has no idea, which makes it weird to see them interact with eachother

Idk... I was thinking of something not too sentimental because they're all in good terms but it can end up with a confession or something...🤔🤔 I know you haven't had the opportunity to start the latest season (I totally get it!!! I still don't know how you manage to keep your socials active since you're always working non stop 😖😖 but know that I'm always grateful to have you as a friend, cheering up my days 😘💌)

Btw there's no rush and if you don't feel like writing for Grey's Anatomy then it's all good 😉

A Crazy Idea [Part One]

Fandom: Grey's Anatomy

Pairing: Daniel Kwan x Female Reader, Jackson Avery x Female Reader, Benson Kwan x Female Reader

Characters: Daniel Kwan, Jackson Avery, Female Reader, Catherine Fox, Benson Kwan

Word Count: 2058 // Rating: Teen & Up

Summary:  Jackson's back and he's finding he might have been replaced in more ways than one.

Tags/ Warnings: Confessions of Love, Jealousy, Friends To Lovers, Exes, Ex Lovers, Fighting, Arguing, Operations,Past Relationships, Open Wounds,

Notes: okay so i've not watched the new series so I don't know kwan that well and apparently his names changed?!? but I stuck with Daniel anyway. Hope this is okay! x

PART ONE // PART TWO

Jackson stalked down the corridor, his eyes sweeping inside every room, as he searched for Y/N. It had been a while since he had been to Grey Sloan and though he used to walk its halls every day he had forgotten how big it was. Though the more he walked the more his hand started aching. He had it held against him, pulled tight under his hoodie as he tried to keep it in a way that didn’t make it ache something rotten. As a sharp shooting pain fluttered up his forearm he stopped looking around but as he paused someone collided with him, hitting him directly in his covered arm and making him wince in agony.

‘I’m so sorry!’ a voice came from behind him. As he whipped around he found a doctor he didn’t recognise standing in front of him. His hands were out in front of him though Jackson doubted he knew how much he had hurt him. Jackson went to tell the man it was alright but he watched as realisation dawned on the man's face, ‘Dr Avery?’ 

‘Yeah,’ Jackson said. 

‘I didn’t know you were coming back. Are you here for a surgery? Or…’ the man trailed off. 

‘Actually, I’m looking for someone,’ Jackson said, ‘have you seen Dr Y/N?’

‘Y/N?’ the man asked. Jackson nodded watching as a glint arose in the man's eye. And if Jackson looked closely he was sure he saw the tinge of a blush on his cheeks before he continued, ‘she’s scrubbed in at the minute. But I’m on her service if there’s something you need.’

‘I just need her er-’

‘Dr Kwan,’ the man said, ‘Daniel Kwan.’

‘Right,’ Jackson said trying to recall where he had heard that name before, ‘well can you find her for me?’ 

‘Sure, what shall I tell her?’

‘Tell her I’ll be waiting in the pit for her,’ Jackson said as he felt another wave of pain come over him. Before Daniel could reply he stalked off back towards the pit. He needed painkillers. 

✵✵✵

Jackson was sitting in a trauma room scrolling quietly through his phone as he listened to the hubbub going on outside the room. Since his new ally had continued his search he had been able to come down to the pit and get checked in. He didn’t officially have privileges but the nurses didn’t seem to mind following his instructions. He allowed them to take some blood and do a quick X-ray which he looked over himself, confirming his own suspicions of a broken hand but he didn’t interfere anymore. That's why he wanted Y/N. After all her speciality was orthopaedics. 

As he heard her dulcet tones outside the room he sat up a little straighter and placed his phone on his lap. The doors swooshed open and she came in in a flurry. Her hair was piled up onto the top of her head and Jackson could see her scrub cap squashed into her scrub pocket. Standing at her side was Daniel.

‘Jackson!’ she said excitedly though her face fell as she took in his mangled hand, ‘what the hell!?’ 

She darted to his side, her hand holding his gently, wincing as he hissed in pain. The nurses had given him something to take the edge off but that didn’t mean that her mauling with him wouldn’t make his toes curl. 

‘What happened?’ she asked. 

‘Had a run-in with a power tool,’ he shrugged. 

‘Your hands mangled!’ she said.

‘Hardly,’ he said nodding towards the X-rays on the board. Y/N glanced at them but continued to survey his hand a little longer. Daniel walked towards them. 

‘He’s right. He’s only got slight fractures to his scaphoid and trapezium.’

‘Maybe,’ she said, ‘but this gash goes through to muscle if not the ligament. And this is a million-dollar hand.’

‘Which is why I came here,’ Jackson said. 

‘Well I’d send you to our fabulous head of plastics but he’s no longer here,’ Y/N smirked. Jackson chuckled. 

‘Which is why I went second best,’ he said. Y/N swatted him on his good arm. Jackson chuckled but he didn’t fail to notice that Daniel’s eyes narrowed a little as he watched the pair of them. 

‘Blue,’ Y/N said as she moved over to the Xrays, ‘order an MRI stat for Jackson’s hand. I want decent images before we plan anything. Then phone the OR and tell them we need to bump my next surgery.’

‘But Mrs Gleeson-’

‘Can wait,’ she said waving him off. Daniel smiled tightly and nodded. Jackson watched them closely as she rattled off instructions. 

‘I thought you didn’t do special treatment,’ Daniel said folding his arms across his chest. 

‘I don’t. But as I said this morning, Mrs Gleeson still has some swelling to her ankle so whilst we can do her manipulation today it won’t hurt to push her back a few hours. Or even a day. And besides, I might not play favourites but I know someone who does. So it might be better that we get Jackson here in and out before Catherine Fox gets a whiff of what’s happening. Now, are you going to do as I asked or have you still got a problem with how I prioritise my patients?’ Y/N said. Her tone was nice but Jackson could hear the air of authority she was speaking with. Daniel shook his head and left the room. 

Jackson watched as she scanned over his X-rays one more time and then sat down on a stool beside him setting up a sterile tray. He said nothing as she took his hand in hers, assessing the damage of the deep gash in his hand. She started to clean the outer edge of the wound and feeling that twinging sensation coming back Jackson decided to speak.

‘So the new interns are pretty outspoken this year huh?’ Jackson said. Y/N looked up at him confused then as her eyebrows broke apart she said, ‘what Blue? Nah, he’s not that bad.’

‘He called you out in front of a patient,’ Jackson reasoned.

‘He called me out in front of you,’ she quipped back, ‘you’re hardly John Doe. And anyway I get what he means. You know I hate special treatment.’

‘And yet you came right away for me,’ Jackson smirked. 

‘For your million dollar hand,’ she corrected, ‘and the fact that your mother will find out about this soon enough and I’d rather not have her interrogate me while I work.’ 

‘Hmm,’ Jackson said. Her movements slowed as she looked at him curiously. 

‘What?’

‘Nothing,’ he said.

‘No come on,’ she said knowing he was holding back, ‘spit it out.’

‘It’s just you seem different with him. Any other intern you’d have chewed them out.’

‘Well I haven’t been friends with them since childhood,’ she shrugged. 

‘You’ve known him since childhood?’ Jackson asked as his mind scanned back for any recollection that she might have mentioned him to him before. 

‘Yeah,’ she said, ‘he’s an old family friend. Our moms are close. He’s not too much younger than me but he’s had some personal stuff so he’s only just catching up that’s why I recommended the programme to him.’

‘You’ve never mentioned him,’ he said.

‘We lost touch a little. I barely have time to see the people in this hospital never mind outside of it,’ she said. Then a memory clicked in Jackson’s head.

‘He’s in that picture of you and your high school friends,’ he said, ‘the one in your hallway.’

‘And here’s me thinking you didn’t notice any of the little things when we were together,’ she chuckled. 

‘Hey I noticed enough,’ Jackson smirked which was followed by a wince as she hit a sore spot. 

‘Sorry,’ she mumbled returning to her work.

‘It’s okay,’ Jackson said, adding in a low voice, ‘and anyway, I noticed he likes you.’ 

‘Blue?’ she baulked.

‘Yeah,’ he said. 

‘No way,’ she said, ‘we’ve been friends forever.’

‘And?’ 

‘And,’ she started, ‘and, well I’d know. He’s Blue. The same Blue he’s always been. He doesn’t like me.’

She fell silent for a moment. Panic flooded into the pit of Jackson’s stomach as he watched her work fearing he’d scared her. 

‘Y/N,’ he said, ‘I’m not teasing you. I’m being serious.’

‘Jackson,’ she said quietly.

‘I’m just saying,’ he said moving his hand so she was forced to look up at him, ‘remember I’ve been there.’ 

She watched him for a moment and then went back to her work.  Trying to ignore the niggle in the back of her mind.

✵✵✵

‘That went well,’ Y/N said as she slipped her scrub cap off of her head. She walked into the prep room and knocked the tap on, getting ready to de-scrub. She had just operated on Jackson’s hand. Fortunately, it wasn’t too complicated and she had even managed that Jackson could stay awake throughout assisting somewhat. And though she was still wrestling with what Jackson had told her she had allowed Daniel to assist.

‘Yeah,’ Daniel said as he stood beside her, ‘I’ve never had someone back seat drive whilst doing a surgery though.’

‘Jackson knows what he’s doing,’ she said. He seemed irked. And she didn’t know why…though she suspected, ‘and he’s an expert in his field.’

‘I guess,’ he mumbled. 

‘Do you not like him?’ she said looking up at him. She wiped her wet hands on a piece of paper towel and tossed it in the trash as she turned around to lean against the sink. 

‘What?’ Daniel asked drying off his own hands. 

‘Jackson,’ she said, ‘you seem to have a problem with him.’

‘I guess after all the delays I’ve had seeing someone use their name to get whatever they want annoys me,’ he said going to walk away. Y/N placed a hand on his shoulder stopping him. He turned to face her. 

‘Jackson didn’t use any name. I mean his mother owns everything in this damn place. If he was throwing money around he could’ve had Link. But he wanted me. Because he’s my friend. He knows how I work. And I know how much he would value me not making a fuss or a scene. I didn’t help him because he’s an Avery. I did it because he’s my friend, in fact, he used to be more than that,’ she said. 

‘You two?’ Daniel said his eyebrows knitting together. 

‘Yeah,’ she said quietly.

‘I didn’t know you two used to y’know.’

‘Well that’s all old news,’ she said, ‘but he’s still my friend.’

They fell silent for a moment as Daniel nodded taking in her words. And then without warning, Y/N felt the urge to mention what Jackson had told her before. She didn’t know why but she couldn’t stop herself, ‘in fact he seems to think I’ve got something else going on,’ she said turning away so he couldn’t see her face, ‘he thinks me and you are an item. Isn’t that crazy?’ 

She chuckled to herself but as she heard nothing in response worry grew inside her and she turned to find him watching her stony-faced. 

‘I mean, that’s crazy right?’ she said, ‘Blue?’ 

‘What do you want me to say?’ he sighed looking away from her. 

‘I-’

‘Do you want me to say you’re right? That the idea of us is ludicrous? Or do you want me to tell you something else, something different,’ he said coming towards her. Even hours into his shift he still smelled amazing. He reached out and moved a strand of hair from her face causing a tingle to run down her spine. 

‘Blue,’ she whispered, ‘why don’t you just tell me the truth?’ 

‘Because I don’t know if you want the truth,’ he said simply, ‘but the idea of us…isn’t that crazy to me.’ 

Before she could respond the doors swooshed open behind them and he broke apart from her watching as the scrub staff filed in, ready to get themselves cleaned up. He smiled at her sadly and left the room. 

‘Everything okay?’ Tiffany, a scrub nurse, said to her with concern. 

‘Yeah,’ Y/N smiled weakly, ‘I just need to tell him something.’ 

And with that, she bolted out of the room to find Blue.

[velvetvexations]

I think Velvet Nation has their heads screwed on tight and would understand that "I'm prone to attention/praise-seeking behavior" is not mutually exclusive with having some kinna "genuine" moral framework. Like, you could say that literally everyone only ever does something good because it makes them feel good. Ever act of charity either results in dopamine or prevents guilt at not having done so. Everything a human being does is selfish when you reduce the action to it's most basic, chemical level.

But with narcs it's different, there's this assumption that if a narc does something good they're standing there actively thinking "haha, you fool, I don't care about suicidal queer youth at all! I only donated five hundred thousand dollars to The Trevor Project so you would give me praise!". But consider that maybe, like, someone with NPD wants to be the best person they possibly can be? That they might not be satisfied with themselves if they didn't feel they were moral enough?

Some people go hard on being outsiders with rough edges. And you know, why the fuck shouldn't they? Even trying to do good gets them accused of being predators specifically for trying to do good. No shit some of them decide "then let me be evil" and embrace the fact that they're perceived as self-centered assholes. Yet, even then - they're talking openly about it all the time, it's a core part of their identity, that makes it difficult to fly under people's radar to secretly break them into being a worshipful slave.

But guess what? Having been raised by my mother, I can understand why someone with undiagnosed NPD can be a really fucking bad time for someone close to them. I'm so sympathetic to anyone who's actually suffered abuse from someone with NPD, because it sucks, it's bad.

It's like how I feel whenever TERFs complain about trans-identified males appropriating the pain of menstruation - I'm so willing to give any and all people who get periods that that fucking sucks and regardless of gender identity or anything else I understand and appreciate the fortune of not having to go through that. A transfem friend once told someone she was jealous of them menstruating and I was thinking like "I get how dysphoria is complicated and that can be something you have a valid desire for but holy fuck please please please never say that to a cis woman again", not because she was "appropriating" anything, but because shit like that is a miserable time for the people that go through it and it's desirable to respect that. So it sucks when I see TERFs pushing that line as though my respect in that regard isn't worth anything.

(to be clear, people who think I'm a crypto-TERF, I mean respect towards menstruating people generally, I have no respect for TERFs in any regard and am happy for them specifically to just cope and seethe about it)

The point of this tangent is that I'M REASONABLE. I CAN WORK WITH YOU. If anyone comes to me in good faith I'm not ever going to dismiss that sort of thing. Hell, I said the other day that if someone thought "Mormon" was a slur above simply being disrespectful I'd tell them to touch grass, but if that hypothetical person actually was like "yeah I get why you feel this way but I have these reasons it hurts me and I wish people wouldn't use it so it feels like a slur to me and it sucks that my situation is automatically so irrational to everyone else" I'd be like...I'm probably going to keep saying it because everyone else said it wasn't a problem and it's likely to come up in the future, but I'm really sorry, if you're a follower of mine maybe there's a tag I can use?

My own immense charity and grace in writing that is literally bringing a tear to my eye, which is what being a narc is like. Or maybe that's just because I'm also autistic and get moved by things like that very easily without making a distinction as to if it's coming from me or someone else. But either way, I guess, there are people who want me to just not fucking bother, lest I cloak my narcissism from my helpless prey.