#sorry for all the shit fucking doodles but i just remembered this is my blog and i can post whatever i want

[spacerockband]

the inside of doug eiffel’s brain canonically looks like the raiders of the lost arc store room. i simply took this concept to its logical conclusion (which is indiana jones hera)

[dietdoubledewme]

going thru my Instagram archive, lookin at my old sp art circa 2019 and maaaannnn I really wish I knew where all those sketchbooks were. I want to redraw some of that stuff or just look at it in full.

I know that the digital stuff is on my old laptop, but it's in South Africa with my boyfriend. I also know I used to have a Tumblr on here but I've gutted and deleted so many Tumblr blogs over the years, i really wish I didn't do that AHHHH

[moving-to-dreamwinged]

cw// vent below the cut!

no outright triggering content mentioned but references to trauma/ptsd (this is vaguely selfship related i promise snjkfhfndsj).

LONG, sorry . beware! but i've been trying to examine myself a little more closely lately and i just got carried away ig

i sort of always feel like i'm alone in this, i guess i was wondering if anyone else feels the same way in any capacity?

so i've always been a really naturally creative person; when i was younger i was the kid that was always doodling all over their assignments; i would win art and writing contests, stuff like that. it's a lot of artists and imaginative ppl on here specially in the selfship community, so i'm sure y'all will understand this, but being "creative" was kind of literally my entire identity growing up. i preferred fiction to reality and never understood how to get along with the other kids, so it became my escape , whether i was creating or consuming media. it was , in entirety, who i was.

except when i got a little older, i went through a traumatic event. i won't get into specifics, but i was diagnosed with ptsd among other things. and i pretty much blocked it all out! only recently, years later, have i started to realize the effects the trauma actually had on me.

i noticed that my creativity is basically GONE. i'm unable to come up with plotlines in my head; only when i'm very strictly guided by a pre-determined objective or assignment requirement. when i was younger i could write elaborate fantasy storylines with dragons n shit, fully fleshed out character archetypes and interactions, but now it's like my mind is a total fucking blank. NOTHING comes up. especially dialogue; i'm just not capable of imagining it. art is the same way.

it's honestly insane. i don't even remember what it was like to have natural imagination. i miss it more than anything and i feel like i've lost something intensely important. not to mention how ingrained it was in my identity. it's all i was, yet it all stopped after i experienced trauma.

i feel so alone, and it really ties into my relationship with self-shipping. as much comfort as self-shipping brings me, i feel so very invalidated by the fact that i'm not able to create or write content for my ship. i try, but i just can't do it in the end. i see others that make these beautiful drawings or these deep meaningful fanfics and i feel so guilty. like i'm less dedicated, and it makes my relationship/my account less valid, not only to myself but to everyone else. my f/o deserves more than that, but i can't give it to them. in real life, they'd probably be with someone else who could instead. yk that sort of thing :'( it's a whole rabbit hole of thinking that i'll just cut off now but yeah u get the point. super guilty.

i could go on with this for hours but it's already super long. but yeah. the original intention of this blog was for me to try writing again but in a way that was comfortable and safe for me, by combining it w my biggest coping mechanism LOL. i've made some baby steps in my drafts but we'll see how it goes ig. just wanted to get this off my chest and see if maybe anyone else has had a similar experience, idk it just makes me feel so guilty and like i'm a fraud of myself in general :'3

[butchjorse]

pinned post

also acts as an faq of sorts

MY COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN!

puppyyuri -> butchjorse (1/27/25)

basic facts

main: @butchjo name: jo and/or yasha and/or jorse pronouns: he/him

art shit

things i mainly draw: ponies, humans, furries, anime people if i'm feeling miserable(/j), a very specific pokemon(shiny espeon), pixel art things i do not draw: porn(excluding artistic nudity), complex machinery(though i intend to get better at that eventually, love me some machines), real people(excluding jerma, i do not trust myself to get the likeness correct for anyone else), intense gore things to look out for in my art: artistic nudity, blood, f and d slurs, extremely bright colors(always tagged as 'eyestrain'), cringe(if something being 'cringe' actually bothers you i do not want you here anyway), suggestive stuff(but nothing downright pornographic), lack of image IDs(i am unsure of how to write them in a good way, feel free to add them yourself when reblogging), flashing gifs(always tagged as 'flashing' and/or 'flashing gif) commission status: OPEN! PAYPAL AND STEAM GIFTCARDS. MORE INFO HERE! pony gif requests: OPEN (please send them into my ask box, any generation is fine, pony gifs are free to use anywhere online or offline as long as they are credited back to me, don't use it to sell anything, and you send me a link to where you used it into my ask box) doodle requests: DEPENDS (i will only doodle your thing if i think its funny)

fandoms or whatever

my little pony(all generations except five but especially three and four), mob psycho 100, banana fish(don't expect to see much of that though), YASHA(1996), rc9gn(mildly), vampire hunter d(bloodlust and the novels, currently on book 2), furry, trigun(stampede and '98), the summer hikaru died, danny phantom(mildly), adventure time(have not watched fionna and cake yet), jerma985, black butler/kuroshitsuji(sorry), and other stuff but i cant be bothered to remember rn

main ships(not in any specific order)

mlp: twipie, rarijack, gildash, flutterlestia, mintypinkie(g3), lucora(luna and zecora), twiluna trigun: vashwood, millymeryl, vashmeryl(stampede only) mob psycho: reikubo, terumob, tomebomi, serirei banana fish: yuesing, asheiji, ibemax(mildly, i just rotate it around in my head sometimes), jessimax, dino x the meat grinder YASHA(1996): moichimayo, seichi, takerin, kenmei black butler: cielois, sebagrelle(mildly), madamgrelle(insane about this one) adventure time: man its just bubbline and simon and betty. what more do you want from me. fuck you, finnico as well. i dont care about canon anymore rc9gn: randulian(mildly) VHD: D x a therapist.

DNI

exlusionists, TERFs, proshippers, agere/petre blogs(nothing against you, its just my blog is very not kidsafe and you probably do not want to interact with me), pomegranate likers(/j)

tag list

non-character-specific categories

#yasha's art -- .... its for my art. what more could you expect. #yasha's ocs -- general umbrella tag for my ocs, almost always accompanied by a tag for the character specifically, but probably not for characters who do not have names #gurfs -- my funny way of saying 'gifs,' i do NOT use this spelling for warning tags like 'fast gif,' 'flashing gif,' or 'flickering gif.' that'd make me a fucking dickhead. #not art -- tag for. shit that isnt art #pixel art -- tag for my dabbles in pixel art

#radvent -- tag for my heavier works, mute this if you don’t want to see super sensitive stuff.

worlds

#world: kihverse -- short for "knife-in-hand universe," this tag is for my oc universe where there is a guy who always has a knife in his hand whether he wants there to be or not. its an extremely terrible superpower. #world: godly foals -- tag for my current mainline project, godly foals, a book about a found family who have to kill two gods. it has its own production diary blog, godlyfoals.tumblr.com #world: khristverse -- au for my oc Sezja where she's a vampire in a wildly historically inaccurate eighteen-eighties and has a very hot girlfriend, Rebecca, who she is loyal to #world: furryverse -- general tag for my furry ocs. #world: mimiverse -- world for my oc raik mimi, his siblings, his kids, and a bunch of other characters. the lore is too covuluted. #world: daigoroverse -- underdeveloped world that has one guy in it, daigoro, the old goddess of werewolves and wine. she's a snarky old bag and we love her.

i would write more for my individual ocs but. theres too many, so. L. maybe eventually ill get to it. bye

[franeridart]

Anon said: [Spoilers for non-manga readers] opinion on Baku's hero name?

Very Bakugou, honestly don’t mind it at all! Mostly just surprised it’s, like, legal in the bnha universe for heroes to call themselves stuff like explodo-kills (and also that there isn’t a character limit for hero names??) but that Bakugou would stick with it is pretty damn in character for him so I like it xD still, I’ll probably just call him Dynamight if I’ll ever need to use his hero name lmao

Anon said: not to be the most romantic sap but uh just a kiss by lady a is killin me

Nothing sappy about letting romantic songs get to you!!!! I say, as I’m constantly crying over romantic songs so this mindset benefits me as well lol

Anon said: i may or may not have stumbled across some of your older kiribaku art, the stuff with akane, and she's the best child oc tbh. i actually like her and i tend to not be a fan of child ocs but she's just the cutest darn thing 🥰

I’m so glad you like her!!!!! She was a lot of fun, what a good gremlin ;;;

Anon said: uve heard of dragon!kiri w his hair spikes up, now get ready for dragon!kiri w his hair dowm lookin like the softest boy

AW HECK I think I’ve drawn him in the past, actually!!!! Spike-haired Kiri will forever be my fav Kiri, but there’s just something about hair down Kiri isn’t it!! What a cute boy ;;;; all sharp edges and soft curves, what a lovely sight

Anon said: can i just say your itafushi art is so cute? these two already make me feel and then your art just (つω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

THANK YOU SO MUCH I really need to draw them more, don’t I! goge kinda monopolized my attention there, but the way itafushi makes me feel..........boy the way they make me feel ;;;;

Anon said: good day, poké au thought: 12 y/o bakugo somehow catches a dreepy as like his 2nd pokemon and never questions it

WHY NOT WHY NOT I have a whole team in my mind for the boy tbh but dreepy is so cute ;;;; and anyway, I like my poke!bakugou with as many dragon types as he could possibly get his hands on hahaha

Anon said: Please know that, amongst other factors, you were one of the maon reasons I stsrted Jujutsu Kaisen two days ago and there isnothing more to say except thank you and I'm absolutely in debt with you for that, thank you so much 😍

I’m so so SO glad you’re liking it!!!!!! It can get kinda heavy but it’s such a great story.... honestly I’d been wanting to start it since I saw the first pv for the anime all the way back last year but I was like, you know it’s a mappa anime! so I wanted to watch the anime as a new thing, cause I love mappa, but three episodes in I couldn’t hold back and just binged it. It’s kind of story that just makes you wanna drink it all in one go, isn’t it? so good so good

Anon said: makeup artist kirishima and model bakugo or makeup artist bakugo and model kirishima? :0c

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm can’t say I see either of them much into fashion tbh, but if I had to pick probably model Kiri and artist Baku? I just don’t think Baku would be able to stay still enough to get photographed, and he wouldn’t like the photographer bossing him around anyway, and catwalks would be impossible for him to stomach imho, he’s too restless for it! At least it’s the way I see it haha

Anon said: fdgdhdkfhdafs i had a thought, what if bakugo prefers dogs and kirishima prefers cats and when they meet each other and become friends it's like, "oh." because they have some striking similarities to their fave animals

That’s been my headcanon for a while now, actually!! I think for me it came from two characters in a manga I like that are a lot like a dog and a cat but have inverted fav animals and when I read about that I was like “oh, right, makes sense since they like each other” and then my brain turned it krbk because when does it not lmao

Anon said: your art is the soothing balm to my soul recently, thank you for posting so much beautiful content. i hope you have a lovely week. ♡

sob thank you so much, I’m glad my doodling can help you feel better ;; <3

Anon said: Friendly reminder anon from last time: that post I left last time I had only eaten 7 gingersnaps that day and hadn’t drank any water. So that encouraged me to actually self care. Thank you.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well I hope you’re taking care of yourself today too! And as fair trade, I’ll do the same myself! <3

Anon said: Hi! I'm an artist and I'm thinking of making a sideblog for my art. Do you have any tips?

Ah man, I’m sorry but I’m not the best person to ask this to! I started this sideblog cause I had too many followers on my main and I didn’t want my stuff to be seen by that many people at first, so whatever I did probably isn’t what you’re looking for :( but really there isn’t much to it, just post whatever you like to draw, tag it as best as you can (but remember that only the first five tags appear in the search page) and be patient, since whatever you do at first you won’t get much attention anyway - the only real advice I can give is to draw something that makes you happy and that you’d draw anyway even if no one were to see it, it’ll make keep posting despite a possible lack of activity a lot easier!

Anon said: Your goge art🥺🥺

I just love them so much ( TT’’’TT)9

Anon said: how the fuck have i not been following you? I remember seeing your bakushima art in the bnha tag and always thinking it's so cute. Now you're into JJK too??? and the satosugu art??? fuckin, diabetes incarnate. I love it. I love you. Your art 10/10. I'm tired lmao.

WELL thank you for the follow!! And for thinking my stuff is cute!!!!! I do my best with that, I want all the soft things for my favs 😌

Anon said: Are you gonna draw Gojou/Getou comic?? 👉🏻👈🏻 WOULD LOVE TO READ IT

you mean an actual doujin? I don’t think I will, sorry! I’m really no good at long projects orz but thank you so much for wishing to read something like that from me!!! ;A;

Anon said: Hello! YOUR ART IS SO FREAKING GORGEOUSSSS!!! I love them so much!! If I may ask you one question. Between Getou amd Gojou, who do you see as top/bottom? Just curious

THANK YOU!!!!! And I honestly don’t care as long as they’re happy and together!!! please let them be happy and together 🙏🙏🙏

Anon said: i want you to know!!! i followed you for your kiribaku art but!!! i love your art so much that idc what you post because it's all just!!!! incredible and wonderful and stunning!!!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!! this means a lot to me so seriously thank you so much!!!!

Anon said: d'you think bakugo has like headaches or migraines after training or battles because of how loud his quirk is? like, i listen to music slightly too loud and my head is sending me to hell. (unless you go with the hoh hc which is also 👌)

I like to think Baku’s body is attuned enough to his own quirk that he wouldn’t get drawbacks of the kind tbh, though that wouldn’t be a bad thought for when he just starts to increase the output/width and strength of his explosions............ well, I myself suffer from chronic headaches and migraines so I’m always up for projecting on my favs ngl lmao

Anon said:  so like... dragon kirishima's eyes glow right? like, if we equate his dragon-ness to unbreakable his eyes glow? they also glow when he's half shifted? honestly i just live glowing eyes

Oh hell yeah I’m all for that, definitely definitely, I love glowing eyes with my whole heart and Kiri’s eyes in unbreakable are just so!!!!!! NGH *chef kiss* the more of unbreakable there is in his dragon form the happier I am ( TT^TT)9

Anon said: me, scrolling through your blog: ah shit guess im gonna have to start watching jjk

!!!!! hope it won’t hurt you too much, anon!!

Anon said: dragon!kiri and bakugo having a tug-of-war match over a piece of meat. both have it in their mouths. both are determined to win.

Kiri is turned into his dragon form and Baku still wins, hell yeah

Anon said: your satosugu is top tier!! it's hard to find stuff for them that isn't straight up angst so your art has been super cool and also very very cute!! (tho if you went with angst, it wouldn't be a bad thing obviously)

AH I’m so happy to hear you like them!!!! but also happy you wouldn’t mind angst, as I do like them the best happy and soft but my brain, my brain has been throwing sads my way for a while now 👀 I got some ideas

Anon said: What program/device do you use??

Easy Paint Tool SAI and a wacom intuos!! Though I got myself an ipad+procreate just yesterday and I’ve been messing around with it, let’s see how that one goes!

Anon said: *inahles* i am simping for mohawk man please tell me everything about your ocs immediately or i will detonate

THANK YOU FOR LIKING HIM HE’S CALLED DAVIDE Dav for short, he’s a cat of a man and a music instrument enthusiast (mostly string ones, but he’s very good with the piano as well) - he works in a music instruments store, and he’s a uni student majoring in philosphy! He doesn’t like bothersome things, he isn’t very good at taking anything seriously or putting effort in stuff, but he’s very chill to spend time with and generally a nice chat both if you want mindless thoughts or deep conversations (he’s a philosophy major after all). He can’t sing for shit, he’s got two cats (tago and schelly!), and he just wants a quiet life to laze around but all his friends are hurricanes in human bodies, but then again, he picked them himself so he can’t complain. He’s a good boy!! I’m planning a comic for him and his boy Ross >:]

[tinyboxxtink]

“Sharky” *Part 4*

Oh snap...ya’ll are gonna be begging for the next chapter. 

Tag List:

@wanniiieeee

@dumauier

@gibbs274

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@objection-argumentative

@word-scribbless

@aprildecker-blog​

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 5

-------------

After work you headed straight home to get ready-- it was time for the works. Shaved EVERYWHERE, breaking out the expensive smelling shampoo and conditioner, wearing your extra special pheromone perfume, and your lucky little black dress. You stood in your full length mirror, admiring your work.

“Oh hell yes,” You thought to yourself. “Even I’d fuck me,”

You glanced at your clock by the bedside table, shit you were going to be late if you didn’t book it. You slipped on your lucky pumps and grabbed your purse while you called an Uber.

----

At the restaurant, you arrived to see that Rafael had already gotten there but was clearly having an issue getting a table.

“We should be on the list I called earlier, BARBA,” He enunciated at the poor hostess like she was a moron. 

“I’m sorry sir there’s not a--”

“Look under Y/L/N,” You sauntered up to her, completely ignoring Barba. 

“Oh! Yes, party of 2,” She smiled in relief. “Right this way!” She grabbed two menus and lead you to a table.

“I can’t believe you did that-- I said I’d make the reservation!” He hissed.

“No, you said you’d pay,” You reminded him as you both took seats at the table. “And the chef’s MY friend, why would he give a discount to a guy who tried to put him in prison?” 

“Wha---Seriously?” He stared at you. “What, so do you just hang around convicts?” 

“Hey he’s NOT a convict, thanks to me,” You smirked. “You’re so judgmental, Barba,” 

“Oh right I’M--” He was interrupted by a bubbly waitress approaching your table.

“Hello, welcome to Rigoletto’s! I’m Tracy, I’ll be your server tonight--”

“Yeah that’s nice honey, we’d like to start with the calamari, he’ll have the most expensive scotch you have, and I’ll take a bottle of wine,” You didn’t even let the poor girl finish her intro before rattling off your demands.

“....R-Red or white?” She asked meekly. 

“Literally the most expensive wine you have,” You grinned, eyeing Barba who’s eyes were wide as saucers. 

“Right...I’ll be back,” She nodded and was gone in a flash.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Y/N? Really?” He asked, clearly annoyed.

“Aw, Barba if it gets too expensive for your civil servant salary, I’ll cover it,” You flashed him an evil smile.

“You just don’t know how to be on a date, do you?” He chuckled, sipping the complimentary water.

“Excuse me?” 

“When’s the last time you let a man treat you?” 

“I don’t let men treat me, then they expect something,” You rolled your eyes taking a sip of your own water.

“I don’t expect anything from any woman,” He said sincerely, and there it was again. You rubbed your chest to dissipate the pain.

“What’s wrong?” He asked in concern.

“Nothing, heartburn,” You nodded it off and drank more water. That had to be what it was, obviously. 

“For the heart you don’t have?” He smirked.

“Do you really want to do this again Barba?” You bit back.

“No, no you’re right,” He nodded apologetically. “I’m sorry,” 

“It’s fine...but I don’t believe you” You eyed him.

“You don’t believe I’m sorry?

“I don’t believe you don’t expect anything,” You smirked as Tracy brought your drinks and calamari. 

“So did you--?” Tracy started, but once again you cut her off. 

“We’ll need a minute, sweetie,” You shooed her away.

“Why don’t you believe me?” Barba asked as he sipped his scotch.

“Because you’re a man,” You stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“You clearly have been dating the wrong type of men,”

“Barba I told you I don’t date,” You poured yourself a glass from the wine bottle. “I ‘relieve stress’,” 

“So do you call other sharks to come and ‘service’ you?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Something like that,” You chuckled.

“That explains a lot,” He chuckled back.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re whole ‘deal’, it’s not even original,” He baited you.

“And what exactly is my ‘deal’, counselor?” You narrowed your eyes.

“The whole ‘frigid lawyer uses men for sex, never lets anyone close,’ blah blah blah,”

“FRIGID?” You raised your voice. “I’m sorry, did you just call me frigid? Gee Barba, what do you do on second dates, hit women with your car?” You scoffed as you downed your glass of wine and poured another one.

“I meant like...in your heart,”

“Oh right. Like I’m Elsa-- and what, is this the part of the movie where the white knight comes and thaws her frozen heart with the power of love?” You remembered that this was supposed to be you wooing Barba into a false sense of lust, but his ‘holier than thou’ shtick was infuriating. 

“I don’t think that’s what happens,”

“Oh like I’ve seen Frozen?” You rolled your eyes. “Oh my god...you have!” You snickered.

“Olivia has a kid,” He defended. 

“Oh right,” You shook your head with a sarcastic laugh. “I’m sure and Olivia cuddled up on the couch and watched it with her kid,” 

“You know for someone who seems so sure of herself, you sure seem threatened by Olivia,”

“THREATENED? By Olivia Benson? HA!” You let out one loud laugh. “Please, of what? Her inability to catch criminals? Her single mom life? Her constant habit of getting herself kidnapped? I mean, who does that?!”

“Hey, back off! That was traumatic, Y/N. For all of us,” He warned.

“Which time?” You asked snidely.. “That woman is like Princess Peach and you’re her Mario, constantly having to save her ass from a castle dungeon,”

“See this is exactly what I’m talking about,” Barba kept his cool this time.

“What?”

“You have this constant need to insult Liv, and it always comes back to the relationship she and I have,” He smiled in amusement.

“That is SO--”

“True? I know,” He leaned towards you. “Admit it Sharky, you have a thing for me,” 

“What?! A ‘thing’? What are we, in high school?” You scoffed, looking away. “I do not have a “Thing” for you, Barba. Do I want to fuck you? Absolutely. But I’m not doodling your name in my legal pads or something,” Barba choked on his drink at your last statement. Well, you took your own road there, but at least you got back to the matter at hand.

“Well that’s um,” He dried himself off. “That’s something,”

“Indeed,” You didn’t bat an eye as you poured yourself more wine.

“So is that why you’re trying to pay tonight? Because you ‘expect’ something?” He raised an eyebrow as he swirled his drink.

“Maybe. Is that a problem?” 

“That you want to use me as a piece of meat? Yeah, a little!” He scoffed with a smile. 

Fuck. You should’ve known better than to handle it like this. Barba wasn’t a shark, he wasn’t even a guppy. He was a sad little puppy, with all of his feelings and warm fuzzies bullshit. He probably didn’t even fuck women, he “makes love” to them. 

“Well, you know it could just be my way of showing affection, since I have a ‘thing’ for you,” You ran your fingers over the back of his hand and leaned in close, so that he could smell your pheromone fueled fragrance. You smiled victoriously as you saw it take effect over him-- it was almost like witchcraft.

“I mean, some girls like flowers..” He gulped, now eyeing your entire ensemble with lustful eyes.

“Flowers die, babe,” You winked. “But orgasm’s last forever,”

“Sure they do…” He rolled his eyes.

“Well, if you do it right, they feel like they last forever,” You swirled your wine as your heel travelled slowly up his pant leg. You leaned in closer, tugging on his tie this time as you whispered:

“And trust me, I do it right,” 

“Check please!” Barba frantically looked around for Tracy.

Well this was going to be fun….

[animegenork]

Sorry to interrupt regularly scheduled ignoring my random, but I wanted to put these somewhere, so I figured I’d put him here on my blog!

Basically, I wrote these short drabbles for each LI from @andromeda-six some number of months ago (I have no idea what time is anymore, but I think this was in July), around the time when Episode 4 was still blowing my mind. I did it as a sort of comfort thing and to do something nice for some friends, but I actually kinda liked them? So I figured I’d share, if that’s okay... If not you can just unfollow me like a bunch of people have been doing LMAO

All below the cut! :D

For my fellow Damon stans

If Calderon Hadn’t Cockblocked in the DLC 

"Yeah..." he says. "Stunning." 

 I realize he's not talking about the fireflies anymore as I turn my head to see him staring at me. My body starts to hum with the attention he's giving me; of course, he's looked at me before, but something about this is... different. 

 "Traveler," he murmurs, his voice quieter than I've ever heard it. He's not one to be quiet, I realize. It's either silence or full volume with this one. 

 My breath stops in my throat as his hand lightly touches my chin, as he has many times before. As he leans closer, I feel the logical part of my brain trying to push me away. He's bad news, it says. You shouldn't get involved. 

Screw logic. 

 His lips touch mine, and I feel something inside me melt. It's like he's some sort of poison, tearing me apart from the inside out. But somehow, that's good in this case. I decide I like poisons named Damon. 

Briefly, he pulls away, searching my eyes for any signs of protest, though I can't imagine ANYONE'S ever protested a kiss from him. Except maybe Calderon. 

"Was that stunning?" I nearly choke out, and the smirk that creeps up his face makes the stupid joke worth it. 

 "In a way," he replies, leaning in to kiss me again. 

I should volunteer to do the laundry more often.

------

For the Bash-ers (wait no that sounded wrong WHAT I MEANT WAS--)

Stars

Bash is waiting for me outside my room. He's in the process of hanging up one of his outrageous doodles, but he smiles despite being caught in action. "Sleep well?" 

"Ehhh," I reply, though my nonchalance is definitely offset by the dark circles under my eyes. It's hard to sleep when you have the weight of a galaxy resting on your shoulders. 

He studies my face for a moment before grinning. "Alright, come on." 

Grabbing my hand, he drags me through the hallway to the loading bay, until I can see the stars out the window, like I did the first day I woke up on the Six. A smile lifts the corners of my lips. The stars, as always, bring some sense of comfort to me. Looking at them, it's like there's nothing that could bother me.

I smile up at Bash. "Thanks, Bash."

"Oh, come on." I look up at him quizzically, and he wraps his arms around me, lifts me off the ground, and spins me around. "SMILE WIDER!" he practically screams, and I laugh at how weird he's being about something as simple as a smile. But that's Bash, I suppose. That's just the way he is.

He stops spinning me and looks up at me with his gleaming green eye and glinting yellow one. This time, my smile is more genuine. "Thank you." 

Setting me down gently, he kisses me on the forehead, which surprises me and delights me all at once. "Anytime, Traveler."

It takes all my willpower not to melt to the floor in a puddle as I blush myself silly.

------

Now Juuuuuuune (baby boy)

Hold My Hand

At first, I was just determined to meet June's lizard. Then, I find him in one of the storage closets, frowning at the wall as if it had just insulted him. "June?"

He doesn't answer, not at first. Then, slowly, he turns, and from the haunted look in his eye, I can tell he was just in a dark place. That wasn't this closet, that is.

"Traveler," he says hoarsely. He steps out of the closet and closes the door behind him, leaning heavily against it. "What's up?"

I can't possibly ask him about his lizard right now. "I, uh... just wanted to say hi."

June manages a weak grin. "Hi."

"Hi." We're silent then, and I see that something is still weighing on him. So I do something a bit drastic.

I hold out my hand. "Hold my hand, June."

"What?" He shoots me a questioning look, but, seeing the look on my face, he obliges and gives me his hand. Unsurprisingly, it's a bit calloused and rough, and a part of me just wants to hold it there and pretend time isn't passing around us.

But no, this isn't about me. This is about June. He's hurting, and I want him to feel better. It's not right for such a sweet man to be hurting this much.

I lift his hand to my lips and kiss his palm gently. Then, I close his fingers over his own hand and look up at him. "If you need someone to talk to, I'm here, June."

A light blush is spreading across his cheeks, but his weak smile softens as he murmurs, "Thanks, Traveler."

He wraps his arms around me in a hug, and I embrace him back. Sometimes, we all need to remember that we're not alone in this fucked-up universe.

------

For Cal-ers? (Was that funny? No? Okay I thought so)

Lynch the Cal-y Cat

Pushing Calderon's buttons shouldn't have been as amusing as it was, and yet, it continued to amuse me. Perhaps Damon and Aya were rubbing off on me too much, or perhaps a part of me had always been this mischievous.

I wasn't quite sure what possessed me to do it, but I acquired a pair of cat ears, yellow, like his hair, and I was trying to sneak them onto his head without his noticing. As I tiptoe up behind him, I realize with a sudden clarity that there is no one else around, and so, he is that much more likely to hear me coming. Dammit.

And indeed, he turns around before I succeed, a scowl upon his face. I have a split second lead on him, so I slip the cat ears on his head before he can protest. 

"What the hell?" he grumbles, rolling his eyes up, as if he can see the top of his head by doing so.

I start laughing uncontrollably, doubling over and practically not breathing anymore. He watches me enjoy his annoyance with a dark expression on his face. Even if he's pissed, the sight of him with kitty ears is priceless.

After a few moments, his face softens into a more neutral expression. I glance up at him, still shaking with the force of my laughter, and ask, "Cat got your tongue?" I bite my lip before I start rolling on the floor.

"You're smiling."

What? "Huh?"

Calderon looks away, as if saying something like this was a nuisance. "You're not moping around anymore. It's good to see you out and about."

Had he been WORRIED about me? Well, that was all sorts of embarrassing. "Uh, yeah, um, thanks, I guess...?"

He gives me a curt nod and continues down the hallway. "Oh, and Traveler?" I turn and raise my eyebrows at him. There's mischief gleaming in his eyes, and I'm not sure what to think about it.

"Be prepared for my payback." And then he leaves.

Oh, man. Why does that make me smile wider than I was about the cat ears?

------

Now for Aya <3

So About That Pole...

It's weird to consistently think of a sorta-sexy pole dance a friend of yours did just for fun, right? Right.

But I was undoubtedly thinking about that pole dance all the time, and I knew I wouldn't be able to look Aya in the eye until I'd had some semblance of a normal conversation with her again.

So when she surprises me at my room, I think perhaps karma or something is out to get me.

"Traveler! So Bash and I are planning this latest prank-" she begins, and then she sees that a blush is spreading over my face. "Are you sick? Should I take you to Ryona?" She puts her hand on my forehead, and I can't believe I haven't completely lost my shit yet.

That pole dance is on fucking repeat.

"You were saying?" I grit out, ignoring my clammy hands.

Aya cocks an eyebrow. "Oh no, you're not getting out that easily." She leans forward and rests her forehead against mine, and I stare, wide-eyed, into her eyes. Such proximity is really not good for my heart, considering how much I've been thinking about her.

Finally, she narrows her eyes. "Wait. What are you thinking about?" I don't answer, and she starts to grin. "Don't tell me after that dance, you've fallen for me?"

I blush.

She laughs, lacing her fingers with mine. "I'm flattered, Traveler. I'm sorry I didn't prepare you for that." With a kind smile, she winks at me. "But hey, lemme know if you want a repeat show."

Of course, my language skills return at that moment. "I just like that you were having so much fun."

Aya's eyes glitter with some emotion I can't read, and she leans in and whispers: 

"Good. Because I have fun when I'm with you." 

It's a miracle I don't drop dead on the spot.

------

Ryona, darling heart

Kiss to Make It Better?

I walk around the infirmary, marveling at all the plants Ryona has placed around the room. They really do give the room a homey touch, much better than I assume most infirmaries must look. At least, my perception of them has been anything but this.

Behind me, the door opens, and I turn to find Ryona, eyebrows raised. "Traveler? What's wrong?"

Now was my chance. I hold up my finger. "I got a bad cut."

Silence.

Ryona starts to chuckle, and I grin awkwardly as she comes over and inspects the cut. "How did this happen?"

"I was practicing with the knife Damon gave me--"

"Say no more."

Okay, good, cuz there was no way I'd admit to Ryona that I kinda-sorta did it on purpose.

But of course, she somehow knew anyway. "You didn't do this to yourself on purpose, did you?" She looks up from the cut to my face, raising a stern eyebrow and pursing her lips. I swallow. How is she so good at that?

So I tell the truth. "I wanted to see you." Wait, shit, I didn't mean to be so blunt about it--

Her chuckle returns as she begins wrapping a bandage around the cut. I watch her nimble fingers work, fascinated by how efficient they are when I can barely do any similar activity without messing up at least once. Which is why I thought it would be believable that I hadn't done this on purpose.

When she's done, Ryona smiles at me. "Need anything else?"

It's childish, but surely she won't mind...? "Maybe a kiss will make it better?"

Ryona's blue skin flickers a bit as a reddish tinge spreads across her cheeks. Nevertheless, she lightly kisses my bandaged finger, and I grin triumphantly. "Does it feel better now?" she asks tightly, as if she's trying not to melt in a puddle like my heart already has.

"Yes. Thanks, Ry," I whisper, leaning forward and resting my forehead against hers. We smile at each other. At my side, my finger tingles.

------

And now we have reached Vexx-point! (Was... was that a pun? I don’t know...)

Don’t Worry, I’ll Save You

It's hard to watch someone you love suffer, even if that someone broke your heart not too long ago.

Maybe it was pointless for me to keep my hopes up when it came to Vexx, but I knew, from the moment he told me he hadn't cared, that something was up. Even if it had been all an act, I knew that what we had was something, and it certainly wasn't nothing.

So as I sit here, watching him sleep fitfully in the room where we're keeping him prisoner, I can't help but wonder what that manic look in his eye is all about. What did Zovack do to him? How can I fix it?

Suddenly, Vexx's face crumples into a forlorn expression, and I can't just sit by him anymore. I scoot over to him and put his head in my lap, stroking his red hair. Then, a thought occurs to me, and I take out my music box and open it, letting its lullaby soothe Vexx, even in the midst of his nightmares.

I can't help myself; I lean down and gently kiss his forehead, knowing he won't remember it when he wakes up. "Don't worry, Vexx. I'll save you. I promise."

Though he can't hear me, his lips turn up slightly in a smile, and I have a feeling his bad dreams have shifted to something better.

It's up to me to make that a reality for him.

-------

Wow I forgot how short that last one was, I’m a bit embarrassed ;w;

But anyway, if you read these, thank you for the taking the time! <3

[jimimn]

HHFJSLASI YOU AND I ARE JUST PROFESSIONALS WHEN IT COMES TO RAMBLING AND I LOVE IT I'LL MAKE THIS FIRST ASK SHORT SO THAT YOU CAN ADD THE READ MORE AND PUT THE REST UNDER THE CUT SO THAT YOUR FOLLOWERS DON'T HAVE TO DO A LOT OF SCROLLING LMAO - 💫

your brain i love it 😌😌

MISS SHIVI YOU'RE TOO SWEET 🤧💞 HFAKKA JUNGKOOK MADE THE WORLD STOP WITH THAT HAIR DYE AT THIS POINT I'M JUST ✨ manifesting ✨ a selfie of him with that hair and I know for a fact that the moment that one selfie comes out ITS OVER FOR US and OMG IN A BUN??? JDJAKJD I THINK YOURE SPEAKING THE DEVIL INTO EXISTENCE. BLONDE JIKOOK SELCA LETS GO BOYS COME ON DON'T BE SHY 🧚‍♂️🌸

OOOPS THAT IDOL PERFORMANCE DOES LIVE IN MY HEAD RENT FREE THO...ESP ALL OF THEIR GROWLS..CALM DOWN??? JIMIN?? EXCUSE YOU.

AND JUNGKOOK'S OUTFIT WAS SO HOTJFJSLQJDJWKA. I did watch the performances later and can attest that DYNAMITE SLOW JAM IS NOW MY ANTHEM AND BLONDE JUNGKOOK SINGING IT IS DEFINITELY NOT GOOD FOR MY SANITY

CHANEL MODEL!JIMIN MISS SHIVI I AM THINKING MANY THOUGHTS NOW FOR REAL THO HE SHOULD TOTALLY WEAR MORE CHOKERS AND CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM FINISHING A PERFORMANCE ANF THEN RIPPING IT OFF AND THROWING INTO THE CROWD LIKE JSLWLAKF DEATH UPON US ALL!!! Honestly he can wear anything at this point and ummm 🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️ BUT FBKSKA I HOPE THIS ISNT WEIRD BUT I JUST THOUGHT OF JIMIN'S COLLARBONES PEAKING OUT FROM UNDER THE CHOKER AND WE'RE GOING A LITTLE FERAL AGAIN

BODY ROLLS DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED THERE IS NOTHING MORE ATTRACTIVE THAN HIM NOT ONLY BEING SO HOT BUT ALSO USING PERFECT TECHNIQUE!! AND THAT GAZE BYE I'M SHORT CIRCUITING HE CLEARLY KNOWS HIS POWER AND ISN'T AFRAID TO USE IT aND THAT LOOK GAAAAH 5TH MUSTER JIMIN COME HOME PLS THE FOOD IS COLD AND EVERYONE'S ASKING WHERE YOU ARE (me....I'm everyone) NO NOO DON'T BE SORRY I LOVE IT TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR MUSINGS *cups face in hand and leans on table*

AND I AGREE!! TAEHYUNG LOOKING GOOD IN THAT SUIT ONLY SHOWS US THAT THE GODS TOOK THEIR SWEET TIME ON HIM AND LMFAO I MEAN THEY'RE NOT WRONG THO 🤡 IS A PRETTY ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF US and omg you've got a sister!! that's so nice 💓

LITERALLY ON WITH THAT DANCE BREAK IN A CONCERT WITH JIMIN JUMPING OVER JUNGKOOK WHEN I TELL YOU I UGLY CRIED FOR HOURS AFTER SEEING THAT DURING THE MV PREMIERE I DON'T THINK I'LL LIVE KNOWING THEY DID IT IN A CONCERT and ooooooo you should definitely keep hoping!! We got an I need u performance, so anything's possible!! I got into them with bs&t so it makes me very 🤧🤧🤧 in retrospect but nothing about jimin dancing his jacket off was 🤧 it was more of a 🥵😵🥴🤕🤒 type of feeling LMAO

I KNOW RIGHT I LOVE HOW THEY ALWAYS GIVE US LIL UPDATES EVERYWHERE LIKE "OO I WENT CAMPING" "OO WE ATE BREAD!!" "OOO LOOK WE'RE JUST GOING TO DROP COVERS AND SELCAS SO YOU CAN LOSE WHATEVER LITTLE SANITY REMAINED!!" BUT YES TIMES LIKE THAT WHEN HE TWEETS JIMIN IS THE LITERAL EMBODIMENT OF THE BIGGEST HEART EMOJI

AND FJSLADHK I NEVER TOLD YOU LMAO MY BRAIN 💆‍♀️💆‍♀️💆‍♀️ MY BIAS IS JIMIN!! I MEAN BY THE LOOKS OF IT YOURS IS TOO HE MAKES US ALL SO 💕💓💫💓💗💕🌺🌈💘💓✨💗💓🌸💕💝🌈💓💗 ITS A LITTLE EMBARRASSING HOW MUCH HE MAKES ME FEEL LIKE WOW HOW AM I LETTING A MAN WHOM I DON'T EVEN KNOW HAVE SO MUCH CONTROL OF ME. HE'S JUST... EVERYTHING 🥺 I'M IN MY BREAK AND A LITTLE TOO EMO RIGHT NOW!! BUT I GUESS YOUR BIAS IS JIMIN TOO RIGHT? TAKING BY YOUR LOVELY BLOG AND BRUTALLY HONEST (IN THE BEST WAY!) URL LMAO IF NOT THEM I'M SORRY FOR PRESUMING 🙈🙈 but tell me!! how did you get into them??

(god...I'm just looking and I see I wrote too much I'm so sorry fksjwlfo)-💫

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i love seeing your asks in my inbox ok they make me very happy 🤧🤧 BLONDE JIKOOK IN A BUN SELCA I AM MANIFESTING!!!!!!!! BOYS JUST OPEN YOUR GALLERY AND DROP THEM SELCAS I KNOW YOU HAVE A LOT OF THEM PLS SPARE SOME FOR US THANX 😭

JIMIN IN THAT IDOL PERFORMANCE HOLY SHIT YES 😳 LIKE EXCUSE ME WHAT KIND OF DISRESPECT IS THAT 👁👄👁 and then in the same week he became small cuddly jimin with a boopable nose during the home performance 😔

istg jungkook looked like a very hot rich ceo of a huge company or sth 😳😳 (which he actually is sdfghjk atleast partially sdfg)

CHANEL NEEDS TO CALL JIMIN ASAP 🔫🔫🔫 AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING MAKING ME IMAGINE WILD SCENARIOS LIKE THAT 😭 ok imagine him smirking the “i know im hot” smirk after he throws the choker DEATH OK ABSOLUTE DEATHHHHHHHH and omg yes his collarbones along with the choker 😳😳😳😳 (and no its not weird asdfghj chill) 

AND OMG THAT IS THE BIGGEST PROBLEM RIGHTTTTT!!!! THAT PARK JIMIN IS ABSOLUTELY AWARE OF THE POWER HE HOLDS AND HOW HOT HE IS!!!!! AND HE USES IT JUST THE RIGHT AMOUNT WHICH IS KNOWS IS ENOUGH FOR US TO GO ABSOLUTELY FERAL and he’s such a fucking tease too dear lord i can’t with him 😭😭😭😭😭 AND OMG “*cups face in hand and leans on table*” STOP BEING SO CUTE OKAY WTF I AM BLUSHING HERE 😭😭😭😭

AND YES 🤡 IS DEFINITELY ALL OF US 🤣 i remember waiting for 12 am kst every freaking day for a week before BE dropped and big hit was like “not today you absolute clowns” on all our faces 🤡 AND YESS AAAAAAAA she’s not my own sister though!! she’s my aunt’s daughter. they’ve come to visit us for a week 🥰🥰

ON DANCE BREAK WITH JIMIN JUMPING OVER JUNGKOOK HOLY FRIKKIN YES BUT HAVEN’T THEY STOPPED DOING THAT JUMP IN THE RECENT PERFORMANCES? im sad :(((( BUT YES THAT IN A CONCERT WITH ARMY CHEERING AND FANCHANTS AND EVERYTHING HOLY SHIT CAN’T IMAGINE THE ENERGY IN THE STADIUM DURING THAT 🤯🤯🤯🤯 ARE YOU KIDDING I GOT INTO THEM WITH BS&T AS WELL. i am never ever ever going to be over that song. and yes jimin’s “accidental” jacket flips in bs&t are the reason is why i live and breathe 😌😌 (and simultaneously die multiple deaths) I AM NOT EVEN MAKING SENSE ANYMORE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AND OMG I KNOW RIGHT WHEN CHRISTMAS LOVE DROPPED WITHOUT A FUCKING CLUE I WENT !@#$%^&*()&^%$#@q@#$%^&*( BECAUSE I HAD JUST WOKEN UP FROM SLEEP AND /?????? NEW SONG FROM JIMIN??????? THAT FELING WAS JUST HHHHHHHHHHHHHH atleast tae gave us a hint BUT I WAS STILL NOT READY WHEN SNOW FLOWER DROPPED. DAMN I HOPE THEY DON’T DO THIS NO WARNING THING WITH KTH1 AND JJK1 BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO BE FUCKING SLEEPING WHEN THEY DROP ASDFGHJK  AND JIMIN AAAAAAAA JIMIN I MISS HIM SO MUCH CAN HE GO LIVE AGAIN PLS I JUST WANT TO HEAR HIS SOFT VOICE AND SEE HIS EYE SMILE AND FLOOFY HAIR AND TINY HANDS :(((((((

AND OMG YOURS TOO???? 😭😭😭 AND PRESUMPTION WHAT PRESUMPTION OMG OFC MY BIAS IS JIMIN (and six bias wreckers 😌😌) LIKE I HAVE JIMIN IN MY ICON AND IN MY HEADER AND IN MY URL AND I GIF JIMIN MOSTLY SO 😭😭😭 WHAT PRESUMPTION 😭😭😭 and god yes i love every little thing about him 🥺🥺🥺 FROM HIS SOCK DOODLES TO HIM BEING SUPER CLUMSY AND HIS JACKET FLIPS AND HIS SEXY BRAIN AND HIS KIND HEART AND HIM NOT GIVING TWO FUCKS ABOUT GENDER TO HIM GROWLING ON STAGE TO HIS NIPSLIPS I JUST!!!!!LOVE!!!!!!EVERYTHING!!!!! 🤧🤧🤧🤧 AND yes lmao my url ok story time!! so when i made this blog... i didn’t know i’d get into giffing and stuff lol so the friend who got me into bts (i’ll come to that story later) suggested jiminsjacketflip as a url for my blog but i was like nah this doesn’t sound cool so i added a bit of ✨pazzaz✨ and made it flipthatjacketjiminie LMFAOOOOO and ive been wanting to change it for a while now because its so fucking long and my watermark on gifs looks shitty because of that 🤡 but i haven’t found anything as unique as this one yet and i also think that if I change my url people won’t recognize me so im just..... living with this one lmaooooo 🤡

AND OKAY OMG so i got into them at the end of june 2020. My friend anna (who also has a blog and makes a++++ gifs @/lifegoesmon) got me into them. She made me listen to them and the first song i heard was stay gold as far as i remember and then it was BS&T AND GODDAMN THE WAY I GOT FUCKING HOOKED TO THE SONG I KEPT LISTENING TO IT ALLLLLLLL DAYYYYYYY and then she showed me the performance for bs&t and i knew i was a goner 🥴🥴 then I watched chaotic bts compilations and they were so fucking funny and adorable that i went like???? how are they so sexy and intimidating on stage and this adorable and chaotic off stage?😭😭😭 we listened to bts’ discography for like three hours on the first day and she shared her playlist with me and stuff and god I just fell for their music. and then obviously with their dance and then obviously with everything about them 🥺🥺 HOW ABOUT YOUUUUUUUU? WHEN AND HOW DID YOU GET INTO THEM???? (and pls don’t be sorry sdfghjk i love reading your asks 💖💖💖) OH ALSO DID YOU WATCH RUNNNNN???????? WHICH ONES DID YOU WATCH????

[thrashton]

Soaring light (chapter 1)

thank you for your lovely comments and messages for the prologue!! here’s the first chapter!

Name: Soaring Light

Fandom: Skam france

Pairing: Lucas Lallemant/Eliott Demaury

Tags: assassin!au, falling in love, angst, hurt/comfort

Summary: Do not get attached, do not waste time, do not engage in any physical contact… The list of rules were long, but Lucas had never been the one to follow orders. In fact, he might have broken all of them in just a week, all because of the piercing blue eyes staring at him from the assignment in his hands, and the charming, mysterious boy they belonged to.

Chapter summary: Lucas tries to be very subtle as he online-stalks Eliott. It doesn’t go too well.

——--

(prologue can be found at the soaring-light tag at my blog, just click on the tag on this post. tumblr don't wanna show my post in the search tag if I put in links... and on ao3 with the username thetimeisnow)

CHAPTER ONE Why were storms a thing? Who invited storms? Lucas was going to find out and kick his ass. It was stupid, the rain covering his sight was stupid. The way he can’t see in front of the road he’s driving on was stupid.

The whole day was stupid.

Lucas had spent five hours trying find Eliott Demoury, but there was no one at his apartment, no one at his registered working place and no one at his two favorite coffee shops. He had googled his name and regretted it in a second, because dousins - no, hundreds - of model photos of the perfectly sculptured face and the piercing deep blue eyes stared back at him and Lucas had let his laptop fall close with a groan.

He can’t be attracted to his assignment to kill. Well, technically, he could. It wasn’t in the rules. The contract just said he wasn’t allowed any physical contact with his targets, mostly to hide all traces of DNA. And to make sure he didn’t get attached, which was another rule. Well fuck him, just the picture of this man got his knees weak.

Lucas hesitated a moment, then sent a text.

-

To: Manon D.

Change?

-

Change of contract, that meant. Manon would know that. In their work of line you had to keep yourself short and never, absolutely never, give out any information over the phone. Especially not their private phone. Lucas knew he’d most likely get his brains blown out if he said too much and he would never risk one of his closest friends and colleagues life as well. His phone buzzed. Manon, quick with a response as always.

-

From: Manon D.

No thanks, got my dream man ;)

-

To: Manon D.

Ugh. Fine. Drinks tonight?

-

From: Manon D.

That’s a yes, thanks. I’ll tell Mika and Emma. See you at 8?

-

To: Manon D.

Lol, sure. Bringing the boys if they’re up. See you, sunshine.

-

From: Manon D.

Dickhead.

-

Lucas rolled his eyes. His ever the lovely friend and colleague, Manon. They had worked in the same business for two years before they realised they were both carrying the same burden. They had been on the same funeral, a funeral for an older man whose two sons were the target of Manon, and his new wife was assigned to Lucas. He remembered it like it was yesterday as they stood gaping, staring at each other in the church when the priest did his thing.

A smile appeared on his lips at the memory. Back then, it had been the shock of his life but now it was a fun thing to remind him how small the world was. They were going to meet at their usual bar, and Lucas had actually seen a few pictures of the blue eyed God in just that bar when he googled his name, so maybe his luck would turn tonight. He could use that as an excuse to get pissed drunk.

Perfect. Just what he needed.

He parked his car exceptionally well considering the storm raging outside. It was only 6pm, but the sky was pitched black. He gave the car window a good, long stare before he forced himself to get the door open. The few meters from the car to the door of the building he lived in felt like a mile and his clothes was drenched in rain as he stumbled inside, muttering angrily to himself.

Stupid ass weather. He was going to kick its ass.

His older neighbour greeted him from the stairs and Lucas threw up his hand in a reply, he didn’t really feel like speaking until he was in comfortable, warm, dry clothes. And a beer in his hand. Maybe a joint between his lips. Ah. Perfect.

Pulling on his sweatpants like his life depended on it, he hurried towards his bed. Where the magic happens, as his best friend Yann dramatically put it when he visited Lucas new apartment for the first time. Well, where his hand happened. Or, another correction, where his hand was supposed to happen. But how no matter how much he tried, what type of porn he put on, he couldn’t get those stupid fucking blue eyes out of his head long enough to concentrate on jerking off, and there was no way he was going to pleasure himself thinking of his next assignment to kill.

Fucking hell.

Eliott really got the best of him. He needed to get rid of this guy fast, so he could get back to his normal routines, so his body could see some hot, big tits chick on his phone screen and think that’s hot! and not but it’s not him. How was this even possible? He hadn’t even met the guy!

In conclusion, his visit to the bed was unsuccessful. Lucas groaned loudly, burying his face in his pillow. He couldn’t wait to get drunk. A week from now Eliott would be dead and Lucas would be rich and he’d get the fuck out of Paris. He’d bring Yann, Basile and Arthur and they’d go to Amsterdam, or something. Find a nice penthouse apartment where they could throw the best parties in Netherlands, bring the best people and smoke a ridiculous amount of weed.

Lucas phone rang. He glanced over at the screen the name of his best friend staring back at him. Yann would know if he ignored him, that guy could read him like a book.

“Yep”, he answered as he put the phone to his ear.

“We going out tonight?”

“Uh-uh. Manon, Mika and Emma too.”

Yann went quiet for a moment. “Emma?”

“Dude. It was years ago, pull it together.” He gave out a light chuckle.

“Fine”, Yann sighed loudly, “only so you get get your lonely ass out there.”

Lucas laughed at him and got up to a sitting position on his bed. “Do you know a Eliott Demuary?” he asked. That wouldn’t hurt, Yann didn’t know he did for a living. Lucas wanted to tell him badly, but he wasn’t going to risk his best friend’s life only to have someone to talk murder with, that would be dumb. Yann wasn’t stupid though, and Lucas suspected he had a slight suspicion of what he did during his days; not that he’d ever tell him, or that Yann would ever get it confirmed.

“Of course”, Yann replied and Lucas almost choked on his own spit.

Okay. That wasn’t the answer he expected at all. It took a few moment for him to pull himself back together and hide the sudden excitement in his voice as he tried to sound as carefree as possible. “Aha”, he said and shrugged, “how’s that?”

“Why are you asking?” Yann was hesitating.

Fuck. Maybe he didn’t sound as carefree as he thought. “You know, just saw a picture of him.”

“Yeah, he went to our school…”

Lucas frowned. “What? No?”

He imagined Yann nodding from the other line. “Yeah, he did. Literature, I think, not sure. Don’t you remember, everyone was talking about him?”

Lucas did definitely not remember, because there was no way he could forget a face like that. “Are you for real?”

“Yeah!” Yann exclaimed, “are you? Ladies were fighting to get into his pants.”

“Shit.” How did he manage to miss this? Lucas shook his head, no, it didn’t matter. Now he had a way in to complete his assignment and he should be very happy for that since Eliott apparently didn’t want to be found. “Cool. Awesome. Nice. I mean, have you met him recently?”

Yann was silent for a moment. “Are you crushing on Demuary?”

Lucas gasped. “Excuse me? I am not!”

“I don’t blame you. He’s hot and- Oh, sorry, forgot you’re still hiding in the closet.”

Lucas pouted and wished Yann was standing in front of him so he could shove a middle finger up his face. Yann knew he was - or maybe was? He wasn’t really sure himself - gay. A little gay. Just a tiny little bit. Like, dick is nice and all and titties isn’t as nice. Which, in conclusion meant; a little gay. “Unfair”, he told him, “was just asking.”

He could hear Yann moving around. “Well, haven’t met him in a while but I’ve seen him in town a few times. Seriously Lu-Lu, you didn’t know he went to our school?”

“I didn’t, I swear! I wouldn’t forget a face like that. I mean, Yann, have you seen him?”

His best friend laughed. “Yeah, I have. How about you spend some time crying over a picture of Eliott and I come over with some beer?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

“Great. I’ll be over in 45.”

Lucas ended the call without saying good bye. He had no time to waste when he only had 45 minutes to google some more information about this mysterious man, who apparently went to their school. Did that mean Eliott knew who he was? No, that would be impossible. If he hadn’t seen Eliott, Eliott hadn’t seen him.

He found an instagram account. With a stupid fucking riddle to solve. It took Lucas longer than he chose to admit to figure out the name of Eliott’s second account, but when he did; it was absolutely worth it. A majority of his posts were black and white art. It looked like doodles but there was real talent behind it.

Too bad he was going to kill the guy, he would really want to hear the stories about the numerous posts of raccoons. A short video caught his attention; Eliott in a black hoodie, staring into the camera with his lips pressed together and his hair in a soft mess on his head. He zoomed slowly until there was nothing else than his left eye covering the screen. Lucas found himself sighing, feeling like an absolute jerk about having to end this, clearly well liked and talented young man’s life.

Most of Lucas’ targets were old men. Rapists, embezzlement criminals or other scandals more often than not involving money. He’d never really felt bad about killing them, a lot of them deserved to die. Lucas never stayed to see if his job was finished after poisoning his targets; he learned early on that it was way easier to get caught that way. Instead, he showed up a few days later, or watched the news if his target was someone famous or well-known.

But Eliott. He couldn’t believe this man had done anything to deserve to die. 50k was a lot of money and the higher the prize, the worse the crime. That’s how it usually went, anyways.

And in that moment, trying to pause the video just when Eliott zoomed in on his eyes, Lucas fucked up. He liked the video. Panicking, he yelped, a high pitched noise he’d be embarrassed to even try to describe, and got up from his bed fast enough to make his vision blur. As a first reaction his brain thought of the brilliant idea to throw the phone away from him to keep him from making more mistakes, but then he realised that shit, he need to unlike the video before Eliott noticed. He stumbled after the phone, tripping over a shirt on the floor and hit his toe in the foot of the bed at the same time. Ignoring the pain radiating through his body, he reached over the bed in panic and clicked on the red heard so fast and intensely that he accidentally disliked and liked it again.

Lucas wanted to scream. With an surprisingly steady hand, he finally managed to to unlike the video and sank down on the floor with a loud groan of disappointment. Shit. What the hell. Being subtle wasn’t his best personality trait, obviously.

Eliott had a lot of followers, someone liking his video wouldn’t matter, right? That was, of course, if his theory that Eliott didn’t know who he was, was correct. Lucas considered blocking him but quickly threw that idea aside; the video was worth seeing a few more times.

The doorbell rang. Yann. Had it been 45 minutes already? Apparently it had, because Yann was standing with a big grin and beer in both hands as Lucas opened the door, still sweaty and his heart beating like crazy in his chest.

“You look like you just ran a marathon. Which I know you wouldn’t.”

“Fuck you”, Lucas smirked at him, giving him a helping hand with the beer. “I accidentally liked one of Eliott Demaury’s posts on instagram. It was stressful.”

Yann let out a snort. “When he sees it, he’ll show up with flowers and a ring and propose right here, I’m calling it.”

“I unliked it. And liked it again. And then unliked it again.”

“Even I am slightly embarrassed for you now”, Yann laughed, “let’s drink to forget about it.”

Lucas smirk grew, it sounded like a good plan. Little did he know, forget about  it was the least he would do that night.

[highkingfen]

I think you're a beautiful person, and I hope things get better for you. How about we talk about some positive parts of the show! I love how many different personalities there are, there's no "copy and paste" among the characters. I love how everyone is so complex and unique. In last night's episode, I loved how Margo was given permission to have feelings other than anger. I love how Fen is allowed to be kind and soft, and is a strong character. What are your favourite parts?

Thanks, 

IRL had been hitting me down with a frying pan lately and getting up is hard. Im working out really hard on being better and I wished it didn't show on Tumblr but there is a time where you need to think and take care of yourself first. 

There is a lot of things i love about the show and I will do a list of it, I hope other add to it and we remember why this show is important and matter, despite its flaws. 

How women are not a plot devise for male characters

How even background character have multidimensional 

How they show disability with Margo’s eye and the dean blindness (though I wish we’d see Gretchen more)

The costume goes from found at H&M to hand made craftmanship by Magali Guidasci

The many bts and interaction the cast and writers have with their fans, they are not distant and its rare, lets remember this is a blessing

How no character is perfect, they have deep visceral flaws, they make mistake, they do dumb shit, and we still love them. 

The legendary quotes they gave us

How being a nerd and accepted is part of the show but not the main focus; Q is a nerd but so much more and the show isn't about how to fit in like a nerd but how to fit in and stay yourself. 

Hale amazing performance as the monster to a point I don’t see him as Eliot anymore. Which is creepy and crazy. 

Julia’s arc blooming into ‘’ People heals’’ and how important it is for many who had her fate or worse

Mental health representation! From depression to anxiety, to ptsd, to dependence, to anger management to actual meltdown of grief

The empowerment of women by women. It is amazing to see them helping each other and not just walking on one another 

How one emotion is portrait differently. (Per example how Q and Margo grieve Eliot is completely different)

BUNNIES

Kady was supposed to die and they love Jade so much they re-wrote the end of episode one

Summer refused to wear make up in her desert episode because Margo isn't that vain. 

The small things an actor decide to do that end up being a character important choice (I.e Jason shaking his hand when he’s Q but not Beast!Q)

The fact that Julia still struggles with the idea of being a goddess or a mortal and try her best to make a choice and don’t know what to do. If this isn’t a big mood for any important decision a millennial struggle with, I don’t know what is. 

Its filmed in Canada, which YAY my country

The sheer amount of Fanfiction there is and how omg they are so good y’all are good writers

The cast and crew understanding how much the show means for us and trying to give us a space to talk and even sharing bts with us!

Im sorry but Fish Josh? Yes

Musical episode. Fuck I love them. 

Margo realizing that she can still be a tough woman and be in love is important because the narrative in media is that either you are a bitch and alone or sweet and surrounded by people that use you. Women never wins. 

The fandom growing love for Fen warms my heart as I was the only one defending her for almost a year once. 

How we can ship everyone with everyone and no one is mad. You ship penny x josh? Why not! There is 39 other timeline one might have that!

Or, you ship a character with two people... OT3 BABY

It went from Harry Potter with drug and alcohol to Millenial try to fight gods and inner demons 

There are no fight books against the show, people take them as a separate piece of art and SCREAM when they both collide in amazingness (Aka the desert episode, Q yelling at a plant, the seven key, Abigail)  

Lev being supportive of the creator exploring and expanding the worlds! I adore the library, Fillorian lore, what is magic outside of Brakebills

Seeing the character being a young adult and growing int being adult

Also what I love about the show is the fandom

You guys not only helped me out of my depression (though it has a relapse for the past week) but you encourage me to be me. 

You supported my crazy idea of starting the Neitherlands library with @noe-gg as a place for pieces of information about the show and we are proud of this blog

You backed my crazy plan of a dnd book and the Kickstarter is over 500% financed, which blows my mind and will help me be able to take of work and sit down and write to give you better stuff

I wrote nearly 300k fanfic in a second language and instead of being mean to my mistake, you helped me, offered your advice and helped me grew as a writer

I was with a group of friend in High School that was super good at drawing so I wasn't allowed to try even if I wasn't that good. You supported me even when my first doodles are shaky and still makes me want to be better by your comments

There is no artist battle, we all help and support each other!

I fucking learn photoshop cause I wanted to gif the show and people came and help me be better

The gatekeeping is about being kind and open and not a shipping war or character war. 

Physical Kids podcast is a must listen and truly amazing work by fans for fans

Hey the podcast I made too are not half bad 

COSPLAYERS. YES. KEEP GOING. 

People out of the US without Syfy helping each other to watch the show live.

There is no popular blog vs the others. (Not that I know of)

Blogs encouraging other blogs to create. YES. 

We are all broken, but broken together. This fandom is my Brakebills, my physical kids cottage. One of the rare place I felt I belong for the first time

[kibounokuro]

Check your asks!

So- I’m shadow banned and my blog is hard marked as explicit. Posts of mine have vanished, as have things from my queue- both of the nsfw variety and just sweet fluff or even portraits. My queue went from having posts all the way through February to.. 1. A single post.

My interactions are pretty much 0, I am not searchable (even with my own art tag) and shit just straight sucks.

I’m posting what I want when I want now cause 🤷‍♀️ fuck it. I have abandoned setting up a queue and scheduling posts so there is consistency cause things just vanish without warning.

This morning, however, I noticed something new that tumblr has decided to do- delete asks. I had quite a few doodle requests in my ask box, and I went to write them down to make sure I wouldn’t forget and because I fully expect to be deleted (but that doesn’t mean the requests should be ignored!)... but they are all gone.

Most of my asks were nsfw and had what I am going to assume were keywords that were flagged for a crawler to find. I am assuming this is not something that will happen to ALL users- just ones already on a watch list like me. But PLEASE if you have asks you want to keep- or that’s how you receive a majority of your prompts- SAVE THEM NOW!

Im sorry if you sent a request and it doesn’t get drawn now.. but please feel free to resend! They were pretty much all anon, but I care about you!

Please remember I’m on twitter as well @ kibounokuro ! I still take asks, reply, and post all sorts of dicks and tiddies and lewd art now and forever more over there!

I will not abandon this blog- but getting 1 note on everything if I’m lucky is discouraging, and being Minority Report’d for my ask box is just extreme. IT WAS JUST THE MERE IDEA OF PORN, TUMBLR. IT DIDNT EVEN HAVE A CHANCE TO EXIST YET!

[glitterygayvodka]

Get to know me tag!!!

So I was tagged to do this by @harrymemes AKA the loml!! This is gonna be way too long because I never shut tf up so sorry in advance lmao

NICKNAMES: Sooo for those of you who may not know my name is Kylei!! (It’s spelt a bit weird lmao but it’s pronounced the same as Kylie) And my main nickname is Kye! And sometimes my friends call me Kyle sksks

ZODIAC: AHHH so if you know me at all you’d know that I’m obsessed with astrology!! Like I’m that bitch who ties everything back to it and I know all my friends are like 👀 hErE wE gO aGaIn anytime I bring it up skskskks bUT long story short I’m an Aries sun, Leo moon, and Cancer rising.

HEIGHT: I’m around 5’6 so I guess you’d say I’m average height??

FAVORITE BANDS/ARTISTS: Ooo I personally have a pretty diverse music taste and I’m honestly down to listen to almost anything! Some of my faves though are Harry (obviously lmaoshdgdg HS2 WHERE ARE YOUUUU), The 1975, Kacey Musgraves, Big Thief, Cavetown, Fleetwood Mac, Ariana Grande, Hozier, Korey Dane, Billie Eillish, Van Morrison, Maggie Rogers, Marc Scibilia, The Eagles, Elton John, James Bay, AHHH WHO AM I KIDDING I HONESTLY I HAVE SO MANY MORE SKSKSKSK I LOVE MUSIC SO MUCH SO IM GONNA END THE LIST THERE

SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD: LAST CHRISTMAS I GAVE YOU MY HEART, BUT THE VERY NEXT DAY, YOU GAVE IT AWAYYYYY

LAST MOVIE I WATCHED: Venom!! It was so fucking good omg like I’m so obsessed with the marvel universe so anything to do with it really butters my egg roll lmaoshdgsg bUT like Tom Hardy?¿? A LEGEND. Also, RIP to Stan Lee. That really broke my heart y’all like I owe so many fond memories in my childhood to him 🤧

LAST THING I GOOGLED: It was the cafe astrology website LMAO

OTHER BLOGS: Bold of you to assume I’m organized enough to run more than one blog! I can barely remember the password to this one sometimes asfsgafsg

DO I GET ASKS: Sometimes!

REASON I CHOSE MY NICKNAME: It’s just an abbreviation of my name!!

FOLLOWING: 2666...I KNOW THATS A SHIT TON OF PEOPLE LMAO BUT AT LEAST MY DASH IS NEVER DEAD....also 666? Satan? Is that you?

AVERAGE AMOUNT OF SLEEP: Sleep?? We don’t know her.

WOT AM I WEARING: My TPWK shirt, leggings, and fuzzy socks bc ITS COLD AS HELL RIGHT NOW

DREAM TRIP: Ahh I want to travel the world sooo bad but specifically Bora Bora has always been at the top of my list just because of how beautiful it is!!

FAVORITE FOOD: PASTA OF ANY KIND

PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS: Other than learning how to play the recorder in the 3rd grade?? nOPE. My step dad just got a new drum set though so I’m gonna get his old one and hopefully learn how to drum!! Sarah IM COMING FOR YOUR GIG SIS! (kIDDING sarah I love you please marry me thanks)

EYE COLOR: Green!

LANGUAGES: English, and I’m in the process of learning Spanish!

HAIR COLOR: Light brown

MOST ICONIC SONG: This one

RANDOM FACT: I have a pet tortoise named Tyrone!! Also, I have an extra nipple (IT SOUNDS GROSS WHEN I SAY IT LIKE THAT LMAOSHSGSG BUT ITS FINE BC HAROLDS WEIRD ASS HAS TWO EXTRA ONES) and people never believe me when I tell them sksksks

DESCRIBE YOURSELF AS AESTHETIC THINGS: Warm hugs, smile lines, the little doodles on the edge of notes, loud laughter, scraped knees, the feeling of turning your alarms off on the weekend, driving with the windows down, sunflowers.

SORRY IM SO EXTRA YALL LMAO LIKE IK THIS IS A MILLION YEARS LONG AND IF YOU READ IT ALL THE WAY THROUGH YOURE A REAL ONE™️ anyways!! I’m gonna tag @pinkliquorstyles @peppermintsmileharry @alwaysthinkaboutyou @smelltabaccovanille @hexagonaldolans andddd anyone else who wants to do this!! Love y’all 💖💖

[audienceofdoubt]

Happy Belated Birthday to the only and only Mon aka @soupery!!!

Firstly, yes I am about 2 days late to the party (that’s not fair, i’ve been checking your blog every day since September started coz I can’t remember your exact date until 18th came and stuff happened and a K-Pop group made a comeback and I had no time to check kvjdnsc) and yeah this seems pretty crap too cOZ WHOOPS!!!!! I forgot how to draw and colour lmao it didn’t turn out the way I wanted coz I blacked out so close an eye, yeah~?

Anyways, super duper long, sobby tragic note underneath the cut for the late-birthday bud btw!!! (I’m so sorry in advance)

SOO O OO O OOOO are you reading this, Mon? Or someone else, oh well what can I do lmao soso anyways I wanted to draw a gift for you last year (I remember spECIFICALLY HOW I WANTED IT TO BE AND EVERYTHING UGH) but around that time, I had to swap from Paint Tool Sai to FireAlpaca so a) my WIP is practically useless and it was one of those it’s-so-good-i-can’t-ever-redraw-that-ever-again sketches so i can’t redraw and b) what the heck is FireAlpaca amirite (still asking that up to this day-) so it still saddens me a lot tbhh, I really wanted to throw it to you last year,,, I was so excited and everything hhh I hope this doodle is alright tho,,, 

Woah i’m rambling I forgot my train of thought sorry lemme remember i’m just typing my mind out ah yes anyways

Mon!!!!! I don’t know if you know crap about me but i’ve been a huge huge fan of your works for frickin’ 3-4 years now (Ithink(butyeahit’salongtimetrustme)) (I remembered how I first found your works; your AT works and your first speedpaint really wowed my dumb 14-yo ass lmao it still does) and honestly? Thank you so much,,,

Seriously, if it wasn’t for your pretty Adventure Time works years ago, I would have never went “man, I wish I can draw digitally,” attempt to draw Ice King and Marceline on an iPad and cry, beg my parents for a tablet and accidentally spiralled down into “Actual Drawing” tbh

WHAT AM I TRYING TO SAY IS you are literally the reason why I draw. Like, you genuinely made the final spark in me to pursue drawing, and actually shaping me into what I am today-

Shit i’m tearing

-And i’m very thankful for you and your super inspiring art tbhh,, I mean, because of you, I tried to draw digitally, and even tried painting digitally, aimed for a very bubbly and interesting art style with the most beautiful colour schemes ever, seriously I could fall in love with any artist from any fandom but you always seem to stay in my cold, broken heart anyways these past few years (wow this got cheesy lmao)

And even if we don’t have all-too-similar interests that got me pulled into you in the first place (i’ve been wanting to check out AT again but thERE’S SO MANY EPISODES OH YMG ODDDD REGRETS) because I kept shifting interests every few months (super super annoying I swear) I always found myself coming back to your art blog and scroll through, going both “man I wonder how Mon is doing” or “shit dude how does she draw wtf what are colours”

And well, I don’t know if you remember me (coz a) I shift interests so much, so if there’s some scrub-ass K-Pop group on your dash rn i’m sorry b) wait I can’t tell if you’re following me anymore c) probably not d) and I keep changing URLs I think I changed it like 2-3 times lmao so sorry you’re hearing all this weird creepy (?) stuff from a stranger who knows

I just wanna say these all out loud because seriously, you’re one of the very, very, very veryv ery very few people that have stuck around in my world for more than a year, and let me tell you, that is a fucking huge deal tbh o3o but what would I know? I’m just a 17-yo kid who cries too much over everything

And now at this point I can’t really care less that my doodle sucks loads of ass coz’ I just wanted something to accompany these thoughts, y’know? Coz imagine getting this randomly on a normal day (i’d be crying but idk)

These past few years, i’ve been so scared of talking to you too tbh?? (Blahh I know about the “friend to all” bid but i’m just very anxious so that happens I guess) So I hope I got to say everything i’ve been meaning to say for the past 3-4 years so I won’t run away embarrassed only to realise that I forgot to write something in here approx. 10 minutes after I post this :^)

OH YEAH bless your colours tbhhhhhhhhhhhhh ohnymg fodododdddd d d

O boi this is so so embarrassing I promise i’ll draw a better one soon (or if I forget (most likely) next year y’know ahah)

I think you may have heard these many times (I mean-) but your art has gotten more beautiful and better but every scribble, every doodle and it’s so inspiring (weird, I never get inspired by artists that much tbh) so thank you, and keep being you, Mon!!!

This has gotten super super long (man i’d black out if I have to reread this halfway ugh sorry Mon wtf) so i’m gonna stop before I whine more jeez

Anyways, again, happy birthday, Mon, and hope you have a soup-er wonderful year ahead, coz you frickin’ deserve it!!!!

-Disparity

[leonbastralle]

Flameusplies!!!!!!!!

plus like 2 others but psh everything is abt them my blog will only be abt them from now on

pixeldemographics replied to your post “special noses (u rly vary ur shape) and fluffy lips, they always look...”

the lips mostly!! but theyre always in combo with the nose i cant describe it but yes these soft kids

;____________________________; i wANT TO HUG YOU LIKE NOT THAT THIS IS THE ONLY REASON BUT ITS ALSO ONE OF THEM

melien replied to your photoset “A: Flame? F: Hmmm? A: Happy birthday, baby.”

No Annie I'm blocking you this is too much

nOOOO COME BACK TO ME PLEASE YOU’RE MY PARTNER IN CRIME

melien replied to your photoset

YESSSSSSSS

I KNOW I’M CRYING I’M STILL CRYING AND THINKING TODAY

melien replied to your photoset “F: Hello to you too, Mr Future President. Any particular reason why...”

Mr President and his official representative

FUCK THIS FUCK YOU I CANNOT AMJSBFAKJSNFKASJFASD I wish he was a president all along so I could use that it’s so damn good but you bet I’m keeping this as a headcanon for Flame’s first time with the president

melien replied to your photoset “F: Okay, you were right…this place…it’s pretty spectacular. A: I’m...”

I cry

me 2

melien replied to your photoset “A: I must say…I’m pretty surprised that this was the restaurant of...”

I'm 100% Flame

I’m the pizza

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “F: Hello to you too, Mr Future President. Any particular reason why...”

“Probably” thats not what i recall hearing 🤔

fuCC U WHY MUST U CALL ME OUT IN THIS MANNER HE DOESNT OFFICIALLY HAV A NAME YET I WAS TRYING TO THINK ABT THAT FIRST

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “F: Okay, you were right…this place…it’s pretty spectacular. A: I’m...”

lay me down for i am dead :')

cATII NOOOO

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “F: And you love it. A: I do…I do. More than ever. Especially tonight....”

im living for this banter my dude im dEAD

thAAAAAAAAAAANK YOU ;_________; im so ridiculously proud of it and im so glad it impressed someone asjhfbajsfnasd

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “F: And you love it. A: I do…I do. More than ever. Especially tonight....”

i cant believe presidential candidate aureus brocade has a stiffie at dinner

me neither what is this blog coming to???? but it also makes me weirdly happy so...welp

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “And what else could one Flame and Aureus do at a fancy restaurant? A:...”

?????? ive seen som napkin doodling but this is next level

thEYRE ARTISTES

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “F: …and then I’ll take the Savory Bacon Love Petals. V: Coming...”

who is the owner of this restaurant w h o ive got som complaints

same man same, the entire place was crazy

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “A: Wow, this place is a lot fancier than I remember. F: Well…I...”

dan aur u have a mighty back too 👀

he doooooooooooooo its probably a requirement for presidents which is...why some ppl arent suited

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “A: Thank you so much for agreeing to watch the unicorns again, Glow. I...”

iM CRYING SO HARD I KNOW I SAW THIS EARLIER TODAY BUT GLOW IS STILL MURDERING ME WITH THE SASS

SAME THIS WHOLE FAM IS SO GOOD

amixofpixels replied to your post “white sheets and mocktails?”

I keep telling you, that you have to come up north for hugs, too!

well should I go back to London you’ll just have to meet me halfway ;)

pixeldemographics replied to your post “clouds & crossed fingers for that ask meme !”

ur hair is amazing bruh

amazing, soft and dead, its basically ficus

pixeldemographics replied to your post “clouds & crossed fingers for that ask meme !”

ok im gonna listen to all OF THOSE also it seems i dont need to feel sorry for infecting u with my hipster shit and re: mo hotta mo betta: SAME AF

u dONT I ASKED FOR IT OK also yes.

melien replied to your photoset “what do u mean today aint friday”

Ficus Monday... ficus week ficus month ficus year ficus lifetime

there we have my new tagline for 2018

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “what do u mean today aint friday”

good luck reading that comment amirite bUT THEY ARE GOOD THEY ARE SO GOOD I KNOW I SAW THIS BEFORE BUT I CANT TIRE OF SEEING THEM

;_____________________; me neither fucc i hav a problem

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “what do u mean today aint friday”

u a r e n o t a f a i l u r e

n e i t h e r a r e u

chaoticpxl replied to your photoset

<3 <3 This is not fair ok why are you allowed to do this you always just go and give us the purest and most amazing posts and i cry all the time bc of these and like how dare it's so good and good and gooooood and i love it i love you (i love you a whole lot) thanks bye

jasbfkajbfkajnfkajsfnkajsbfkajsfnakjsfnasd i wish that was a common opinion XD also i gotta fill up the cute meter for bad times, you know alSO I LOVE YOU TOO PLEASE DON’T GO

chaoticpxl replied to your photoset “I recreated their proposal kiss XD”

FUCK U

U TOO

chaoticpxl replied to your photoset “I recreated their proposal kiss XD”

DOES IT MAKE U FEEL BETTER

chaoticpxl replied to your photoset “I recreated their proposal kiss XD”

WHY WHY WHYYYY HWY WHY ANNIE U YELL ABOUT BEING SAD WHY DO U HAVE TO DO THIS

TELL ME ONE REASON WHY I SHOULDN’T DO THIS

smile-beautifuly replied to your photoset “I recreated their proposal kiss XD”

;_; ♥

limericksims replied to your photoset

they are SO adorable. ♥

i kNOW GUYS I KNOW WHAT DID I DO

tainoodles replied to your photoset “Remember how I said toddler Flame never made an appearance because he...”

I don't know what you were thinking either because he is precious af

i know, i know, i have nothing to say in my defense ;_;

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “Remember how I said toddler Flame never made an appearance because he...”

wHAT A LOVELY BOY I GOT A 20/20 EYESIGHT I CAN TELL THIS IS ONE ADORABLE BBY

weLL U BETTER YES BECAUSE THAT EYESIGHT NEEDS SOM WORK AT TIMES

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “Remember how I said toddler Flame never made an appearance because he...”

Adorable af.

;_____;

[franeridart]

hey fran, i really love you & your art!! i fell in love w your bokuroteru tattoo au after reading it through, and then i found your bakushimas and i love them so much! you're actually the reason i found the motivation to start bnha lol and i'm really glad i did, so thx!

Thank you!!!!!! So much!!!!!!!!!! For liking my stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *O* and you’re most welcome, I’m super happy you’re liking it!!!!!

Anon said:I love dragons and I love kiri and I love your art so that post is like all three of my favourite things rolled into one, B L E S S.

I’M GLAD YOU LIKED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:your traditional sketches are so cool!!! i feel like it kinda adds like depth to it or something but like those are so neat what if you lined some

Thanks!! And I’ve actually thought about that, but I’m not much a fan of going back on stuff I already posted... it’s more probably I’ll just go back to the concept and draw more instead of lining those haha

Anon said:FRAN UR TRADITIONAL ART IS SO CUTE OMG ITS SO GOOD (also DRAGONSSSS)

GAH I’M SO DAMN HAPPY YOU GUYS ACTUALLY LIKED THOSE OH MY G O D S

Anon said:voltron third season is cOMING SOON AS IN TWO DAYS AAAAAA ARE U EXCITED?

Anon... my pal... my dear friend... I don’t know how to break this to you but... I haven’t even properly watched s2 yet...

Anon said:i started reading bnha bc i wanted to understand your art better, and I gotta say it's a really great series. thanks for inspiring me to read it. finished the manga today and my favs are definitely kirishima, tamaki, toshinori and fatgum. actually I knew kiri would be my fave anyway bc 75% of why i got interested in your bnha drawings was bc of him...he's just?? so good?? that aside your art is incredible and your characterizations of the bakusquad are perfect. you're super cool, keep doing you!

I’m!!!!!!!!!!!! aaahhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you so much oh my god ;A; I’m happy you decided to try it, I’m super happy you ended up liking it, and I’m indecently happy you actually do like Kirishima!!!!! BOI!!!!!!!!!!!! He needs all the love he can get, the pure son ;A;

Anon said:your art is so good wth!! everytime i get the notif that you posted i get so excited!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!!!!!

Anon said:The fuck is shitty ab these traditional art pics. They're good, everything u do is good, don't play blind u perfect shit

Tough love! Sometimes this comes around my inbox too haha it’s fine anon, the reason why I rarely draw traditionally is that I never feel like I’m done with a drawing when I do, feel incomplete for however much details I put in because tbh there’s always more I can do on them, so with shitty I mostly meant “incomplete” lol going okay this is finished is something I don’t know how to do with traditional doodles hah

Anon said:yo what happened to your hand bro?

Therapy with my dermatologist that ends up giving me blisters on one of my fingers! It’s nothing serious, but makes arting sorta hard haha

Anon said:You should draw more kiribaku kids it had me really interested and brought out my happy

Should I 👀👀👀 an ugly word, let’s try with could next time shall we - that said, seems like yall really did like something that for me was a one time thing! I might get back on them in the near future, just because that post seems to have blown up way more than I had anticipated haha

Anon said:ahhhhhhh i absolutely love your art. i've been feeling very irritated lately and your kiribaku / kiribakushima art really helps calm me down.

This makes me super happy to know!!!! Oh my gods!!!!!! I hope life has stopped getting on your nerves in the couple days it took me to answer, anon!!!

Anon said:Headcanon: kirishima plays dream daddy

To be honest I don’t know anything about that game aside from “it’s a dating sim” and “it’s gay”, but either way to me it sounds more like something Kaminari would play hahaha

Anon said:Hey Fran! I recently caught up with the BNHA anime thanks to you (still have to get around to the manga) and I loveeee itt so much (pretty much adopted like 20 kids😂) have a lil question tho, in your AU/bnha comic thingy are Bakugo and Midoriya finally like... "okay" friends? Or is Bakugo still acting like he hates the poor boy? Thanks in advance and also absolutely love your art~😍

WEEEEHHHHYYYYYY I’m glad you decided to check it out, anon!!!!! But, I’m sorry I’m gonna need you to be more specific here since I don’t have any “ongoing” AU for that fandom atm - exactly which comic are you referring to?

Anon said:I've been restraining myself from going on Tumblr to once a month max for like a year or so now because it was exams and then I had a new year (MY LAST YEAR) of high school to worry about, and I know me. When I go on Tumblr, I stay on Tumblr for literally an entire day. Or more. And then I accidentally stumbled upon your stuff today and wasted (thoroughly enjoyed) a day of scrolling through your art and asks. I never knew I shipped bakushima so hard until today. Thank you for your beautiful art.

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I’m so happy you decided to use your one day for my blog omfg !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so so much for this ask, it made me really super happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:do you know the song that is playing when endeavor is fight the winged nomu? ive tried looking for it but I can't seem to find it. thanks if you know it. its fine if you don't. btw you're amazing

Eeep sorry anon this ask is so old omfg I hope you found your answer somewhere else - also because I’m actually the worst person in the world to ask about soundtracks orz so, like, double sorry o

Anon said:A cute kirikamibaku thought to hopefully help cheer you as you wait for your hand to heal again: the three of them going out to a restaurant and Denki trying to subtly convince the other two to order something he wants to try when he can't decide what he wants to eat. Whenever he succeeds, he ends up eating just as much off their plates as his own.

This has actually been cheering me up for days now so thank you !!!!!!! Also because I’ve been thinking about Bakugou giving in but making it super spicy out of spite and honestly that’s the funniest thing hahahaha

Anon said:MATSUHANA🌸🌸🌸🌸

IT’S INDEED A SHIP THAT EXISTS! A GREAT ONE TOO!!

Anon said:I can't stop thinking abt that one anon that sent you "Batsuki Katsuki" and I'm losing my fuckin mind over it oh my god but anyway hello I love ur art I hope you have a good day ( ˘ ³˘)♥

THANK YOU!!!! I hope you’ll have a great month, anon!!!! *O* and also tbh same I randomly remember it and laugh by myself thank you anon for that gem I’m never getting over it haha

Anon said:I live for your bakukirikami art. I never had an ot3 until these boys, and they're just so so good. Do you think any of them ever gets insecure/jealous about the other two's bond in the relationship? I feel like if anyone would it might be Denki? But I dunno, because the way you portray them I like to think that they all actually just love watching each other be cute and bond and stuff.

Yeah that’s how I see them!  You know how, like... when you’re friends with two people and they’re friends with each other and you look at them being silly together and you’re like boy I’m so glad I have both of you in my life and that I can have you both at the same time and that you can be silly and adorable and happy together too - that’s exactly how I portray the bkk, only it’s romantic instead of platonic haha

Anon said:Your art has inspired me to write some BakuKiri / KiriBaku bless!!!! I'm also writing KiriBakuKami as well, thank you so much for the gorgeous art!

THIS IS THE BEST SORT OF ASK!!! THE BEST!!!!!

Anon said:Hello! It's the anon that asked about posting your art online for the first time. Thank you so much for answering my questions! That means a lot to me. I'll definitely take your advice. You made me feel a lot better about posting my stuff online. I'm gonna go ahead and draw the things that make me happy and,, hopefully I'll find people that like it like me!

AAAAHHHHHH I’m happy I could help!!! And I’m sure you will, anon!!!!! I hope you’ll be able to have a great time in whatever community you decide to be part of *O*

Anon said:I was feeling slightly uck but then I was like "you know what would make you feel better" and I just started scrolling through your blog and HONESTLY you are a blessing I feel a lot better and lighter and looking at your blog is literal self care for me now I love you and I hope you have a fantastic day

Sob thank you so much for this ask ;A; aaahhhhhhhh!!!! I’m so happy I can help you like that and this made me feel great back when I first read it (and also now that I’m rereading it, honestly!!!) so thank you for making my days better too, anon!!!!

[doodlelolly]

Jumping in head first

Simplicity is something that has always evaded me. My mind does not rest. I suppose I should begin by way of explanation.

My name is Jennifer. I'm 29 years old. I'm a six time survivor of suicide attempts, the most recent being just this last July where I was hospitalized for a length of time. I have had depression for the majority of my life. I'm a wife and a mom to two little girls, age 8 and 7. I will refer to them in this blog as Doodle and Lolly respectively to maintain privacy. Because I'm going to discuss some heavy shit. I'm probably going to go overboard. The purpose of this blog is to capture emotion. I will be chronicling my journey with depression and anxiety and it will be an exercise in revealing my emotions as well. That is something I've never been good at either. I'm going to try and set the least self-deprecating path I can, which will also be a challenge. I want to make something clear: these are my feelings, and mine alone. Everyone's story is unique. I try not to compare myself to others, mostly because I'm afraid I won't measure up, but I certainly hope that no one will compare themselves to me. Think of this as a documentary of sorts.

So we will jump right into to tonight's train of thought. Have you ever thought "God, I really should talk to someone about how I feel, but nobody will listen. Nobody really gives a shit." That's me tonight. Now the rational part of me knows this is not true. But some nights are harder to keep out the dark thoughts than others. I'm an extreme insomniac. I don't sleep because the night time is the worst for me. When all goes quiet, I have more time to think. When I have more time to think, the unsavory thoughts seem to wheedle in. Too much noise, and I have an anxiety attack. And it happens more than you might think. I just can't win.

Today was a rough day. Full of noise and anxiety. I find that the worse my day is, the harder my nights are. So here we are. At 5:51 AM after another sleepless night. I can keep the thoughts at bay this way. The whisperings of my being a failure and a fuck up. I read. I write. I sing. I read and write some more. Rinse and repeat. Ruts are safer. Routine is good. Repetition is life. Such is the balance between anxiety and depression.

I can't seem to shake the urge to cry tonight. It's maddening. I'm not even sure why I want to cry, but the ache in my chest and the burning in my nose tell me it's something I should do. I probably won't. Maybe later. It's cathartic to cry sometimes. Most often it takes me to a darker place so I fight it. But tonight it gnaws. Oh well.

It takes a lot of reminding for me to remember on nights where I feel low that I have depression, that it does not have me. Because I feel firmly in its grasp now. But I have depression, it does not, in fact, have me. It's a process. I'll believe it someday. I'm not sure of the validity of "fake it til you make it" but it's worked well for me so far. So far. And here's where the second guessing comes in.

I'm sorry if it feels like I'm jumping all over the place. I'm writing down thoughts and emotions as they come in to me to make this as authentic as possible. I'm sure the majority of you readers gave probably given up by now. I sound like a lunatic. But it feels real. This jumbled mess of a first blog entry. It feels like my mind. Drifting through several thoughts at once, hardly any of them pleasant. But still fighting to maintain control. Remember I mentioned the logical side of me? Well, I know I sound crazy. Maybe I am. But the logical side of me is the fighter side of me. The one that pushes back against those dark thoughts for the falsities that they are. It keeps me in check. It makes me not want to die.

Surprisingly, dying and the thought of dying scares me. I know, super odd for someone who seems hellbent on killing themselves (*cough* 6 times *cough*) but it's the truth. My suicidal thoughts are highly irrational. And with therapy and the right medication, I have been able to let my logical brain take primary focus. Which is a great thing. Now while I can suppress these thoughts and urges, they are never really eradicated. They always linger at the edge of my mind, just off the radar. Some of them slip by occasionally, but I can tamp it down. I'm in control. Even when my life feels so out of control. Which is always.

The most important thing I can remember is that I'm a fighter. I'm a survivor. And no one is alone with these kinds of thoughts. Not even me, despite my traitorous mind's efforts to convince me of the contrary. I am not alone. If you're reading this and this sparked something in you, YOU are not alone. You can fight. You can win. We both can. We all can.

Fight back with everything you have.