#sorry for all the rambling i just have lots of Feelings about this

[themeaningthemeaningthe]

can’t sleep for other reasons and my brain can’t stop thinking about a post i saw and initially ignored but keep having thoughts about. i didn’t comment on it or anything and now it’s lost to the ether and i don’t wanna go looking for it but these thoughts gotta go somewhere.

this will be long and rambling and probably a little incoherent cuz it’s 3am.

the post was someone saying that they finally picked up gideon the ninth after years of seeing locked tomb posts and griddlehark, then dropped it after like 2 chapters bcuz they think the dynamic between gideon and harrow is abusive (which is fair when u first start it) and they can’t believe people are into it as enemies to lovers. on the one hand, people are totally cool to just not like something for whatever reason, i myself just have thoughts about the Nuance that i didn’t express on the post that i now must here.

lots of important spoilers for GtN!! (and maybe accidentally ones to HtN)

ok here’s the rant.

that’s the point!!!!! that’s the point.

they are terrible to each other and they have always been. the growth and the development of their character dynamics together explores how this thing between them that has always been sharp and seething and spiky must buckle under the weight of outside pressure beyond anything they could have imagined.

in a very important pool scene (one that is ubiquitous in fanart and i have to believe this poster saw at least a few times) we get an explanation from harrow! and not only does this give us a more full look into the context of drearbruh outside of gideons narrow point of view, but it also makes more clear why they were like That.

i’m sorry but literally harrow is 200 dead kids that her parents killed to make her, and gideon is the one kid they couldn’t kill. and gideon realizes once told this, she is the living reminder of the war crime committed to save the house, and no one who knows can forget it.

and harrow has known the truth of her origin since she was old enough to comprehend anything!! so yeah, a traumatized child who knows she’s the entirety of a generation of her house is gonna lash out at literally the only other child on the planet who she happens to also have power over.

and i feel like the book makes this pretty clear!! this was bad!! but also, these are two traumatized kids growing up in a dying, creepy, planet that is lowkey hell.

the other key thing about the pool scene, is that it is a Confession. these books are sooo steeped in catholicism. harrow isn’t just explaining the true history of her life, she is Confessing all of the sins that make her up and all of the sins she has committed. bearing the entirety of the wretchedness of her soul for gideon judge. expecting her only friend whom she has made miserable for years to kill her.

and i know we joke about gideon being lesbian jesus, but there’s a reason for that (besides the obvious). bcuz after hearing her Confession, gideon baptized harrow in that pool.

one flesh one end, bitch.

and also like yeah griddlehark is an enemies to lovers in some ways, but i feel like also not in the typical way you would think about that trope?? bcuz correct me if im wrong but they never really become lovers (and i personally am not sure they ever will). yes they love each other and make the grandest gestures of love imaginable. but that love is inevitably fucked up in some ways and it’s impossible for it to not be.

god that was way too long. anyway. some Nuance is necessary.

[starrysan]

nouvelle vague

↳ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʙᴏʀᴇᴅ? [12]

pairing: korea local!yunho x new to city!reader [smau]

masterlist || prev chap || next chap

third person pov

y/n was working at their desk when they were called into their bosses office. “you asked for me?” when say walking into the office and sitting down. “yes i did” the boss hums typing on her computer. she gestures for them to have a seat though they were already seated.

"you've been here a few months now, yes?" she asks. "yes I have" y/n replies. "im sorry.. did I do something wrong? I thought I reported everything in a timely mann-" y/n starts. "nothing like that" their boss assures them.

"you've been doing great. really incredibly" their boss continues. "its not confirmed but we may move you back to the Australia branch" she drops finally to which y/n freezes on the spot. "i.. im sorry what?" y/n makes sure they heard her correctly. "the employment isn't going as well there since to be honest we moved a lot of people abroad this quarter" their boss continues.

"I was told i'd be here for minimum a year its barely been 8 months" y/n says in disbelief. "I know.. im sorry" the boss replies though it honestly didn't seem that convincing. y/n leaves the office in defeat. it of course wasn't confirmed but the fact that it could happen made them freak out.

they tried texting yunho who wasn't responding again but he's busy they shouldn't bother him its fine. they texted chris for a bit, texted san as well. started getting worried about yunho since he wasn't responding and started freaking out about their job again. they panic FaceTimed chris who picked up immediately.

"everything ok?" chris asked through the phone to which he got a quick "no" from y/n. they re-explain everything their boss had told them "I miss you so much but I also love Korea so much now and I know nothings confirmed but im still scared" y/n rambles. "everythings going to all work out y/n don't worry" chris reassures them.

"I know.. im sorry I shouldn't be freaking out right now" y/n sighs. "don't apologize" chris hums. "I cant confirm what will happen of course but youre strong y/n it'll all work out and be okay" chris finishes. "thanks chris" y/n says.

the two hang up the call and y/n goes back to trying to test yunho with no success. he was at work for another couple hours but they thought he'd at least be able to look at his texts. maybe he was sick of them already.

they tried not to think that way but it only made the thoughts they had in the back of their head stronger. he didn't really like them did he? who were they kidding.. he was too busy for someone as high maintenance as they were. they should have known he'd get tired of them.

maybe he was ignoring them to send them a message without actually telling them. that had to be it? did they do something wrong? did they screw up that bad that he didn't even want to talk to them. all these thoughts rushed into their head till they got an abrupt phone call from mingi that broke them from their thoughts.

"hi mingi" they say picking up the call. "y/nnnnn" mingi says excitedly. "what's up? hope im not bothering you I know you have work right now" he giggles over the phone. to not let him know the anguish they were going through they pretended everything was completely fine. "hi mingi" they chuckle. "yeah im good what's up?"

"just wanted to call you its been a hot minute want to hang out later?" he asks, y/n hears yeosang's distant voice telling him not to bother them at work. "tell yeosang I say hello" y/n hums. "sang y/n says heyy" mingi practically yells. "hi y/n" yeosang chimes in.

y/n got off the phone in a bit of a better mood. mingi always had that charm of helping them feel better. they decide not to think about the potential doom of leaving Korea and head home for the night. they send one last text to yunho wishing him goodnight before crashing and falling asleep.

a notification chimes just as they're falling asleep, from yunho..

extras!

y/n overthinks a lot

mingi #1 y/n cheer upper!

ty for reading!

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[maddiebrj]

Guilt Weighs Upon Your Shoulders

COZETTE RAMBLINGS UNDER THE CUT:

I have not been able to get Cozette out of my head for well over a month now. I haven't hyper fixated this much on character in a good while. Cozette is just....so interesting to me for some reason.

I've always liked her as I found her bond with Connie to be really sweet, and she felt like this wise and caring woman. And yes, while I do understand that the twist of her being Zokket is predictable( I speculated to myself that she might have something to do with him), the thing I like about it isn't because of how surprising the reveal was, but rather the layer of depth that it adds to Cozette's character that I wasn't really expecting. And it's depth that I really wish got expended upon in the game. At first, I didn't think too much of it; we now know where Cozette was all this time. But then I saw how she acted after we freed her from Reclusa's control...and then after that, I started to think about her for more than 5 minutes and realized just how sad, confusing, and messed up Cozette's situation actually is.

I..I so wish we got to learn more about Cozette throughout the game because no matter how underutilized she is, I just can't help but feel bad for her. She got corrupted in organizing the destruction of the world she loves and is supposed to protect. Separating friends and families, kidnapping people and forcing them to work in factories, spreading glolm and further separating others. All to aid the rebirth of being that wants to destroy all worlds. And she just has to live with all of that. That definitely did something to her mentally.

I can't help but think of all that. And on top of all THAT, I just feel like this was a misoppurtunity for some good and interesting character interactions. I want to know what all the Concordians think of her besides Connie and Patriarc ( who is another character that I wish got explored more), I want to know how she views the Zok troops and those memos she wrote while in the Zokket persona, I WANT HER TO INTERACT WITH EXTENSION CORPS AT LEAST ONCE.

I want to know... what exactly made Cozette fall to Reclusa's grasp in the first place. Connie asks a good question to the Great Conductor: If Cozette really was controlled by someone else, why is she taking this so personally? And while I bet it has to do with what I listed earlier, the Great Conductor mentions that it has to do with her being taken advantage of a weakness she has and I'm sitting there thinking, "Oh okay, interesting...care to elaborate on that????." From there I tried to find something, ANYTHING on what that weakness might be and just...nothing. Those Grampy turnips that give some lore tidbits on some of the major characters? They say nothing about her. Her one sidequest involves her making a decision that you can't stop her from making and comes to regret. To this day, I am still trying to figure out what that weakness is. I do have some theories.

Overall, I have this feeling that Cozette isn't entirely and that her story in this game isn't complete. It feels like the writers introduced this interesting concept but weren't able to expand fully on it. I can only assume they didn't as they realized how complicated of a situation it is, and it would probably draw too much attention away from the main threat, which is Reclusa. Which, do not get it twisted, Reclusa. Is. AWESOME. But I am left with a bunch of questions.

Tldr: Cozette is very interesting. I wish her character got explored a lot more.

(Oh boy, sorry, this was so long. I wanted to talk about Cozette for a while. Please don't take this as me hating on the game. I just care so much about Cozette :))

[pneumosia]

sorry if this sounds rude,,, 😢 but you haven’t been posting lately and that’s like the only thing you have to do right? just post something it’s not that big of a deal? dygwim? i think fanfic writers especially on the anime side like to exaggerate things too much,,, and if you don’t post then just deactivate? there’s no point of staying if you’re not gonna do anything but ramble all the time (again sorry)

hi anon! i’d like to correct a few things here, based on the way you worded this — you likely don’t know how insensitive this ask is.

yes, i haven’t been posting anything lately, totally on me. but at the same time, im a person — with feelings, a life, and friends + family outside of tumblr. i don’t exist just to provide you with fics, i have to clarify that for you since i don’t think you understand that bit just yet.

like any other human being, i have struggles. i usually don’t talk about them openly here because i don’t want to bring the mood down, and i wont even bore you with that information either. but i struggle. so my fics don’t come out as fast as you’d like, there’s a lot that goes into writing instead of something as simple as just “posting something”, you get it? if you’re not sure then you try writing your own work, tell me how it goes.

fanfic writers do not exaggerate, please be mindful that these are real people you have no idea about. they work hard on their pieces and should be appreciated for the joy & love they bring with every word they post. their followers should learn how to be patient.

i’m sorry if this comes off as rude too, but you don’t get to dictate what i do. i’ll deactivate when i feel like deactivating, but it won’t be because you sent me this. rambling helps me let out any pent up feelings i might have, it can be a distraction from the things going on in my life that i’m sure you have no interest in — but it’s comforting for me. so i will continue to do so, and if i make you so upset that you felt this ask was necessary to send, then please feel free to block me, no hard feelings at all. thank you for your concerns, but because i felt this ask comes from you being misguided instead of you straight hating — im answering it. otherwise i would’ve simply blocked you, i hope you have a good day or night 🤍

[sleepyyshifts]

Hi, I'm [Sleepy], I'm a 5th year Ravenclaw. :)

My favorite color is blue, but i also like red, orange, brown, and pink! So, yes it's blue...

My favorite movie... that's a tough question, i like a lot of movies, I'm a bit of a nerd when it comes to making films... growing up with a muggle-born parent I've watched quite a few in my childhood and even now, and I've fallen in love with those with a deeper meaning to them, particularly those with a message with something to learn, or about a topic that is considered taboo that shouldn't be like sexuality or mental health... sorry I'm rambling 😅

I laugh the most when I'm with my friends. Even though they're annoying at times, the twins seem to always know how to cheer someone up. I can guarantee that they'll never judge me for not feeling the best around them, and will just try to find ways to make me laugh. Even if it does get us in trouble...

I'd love to come back to this question at the end of my life, however soon or far it may be. I would have more stories to learn and much more knowledge, or at least i could tell you what is the story i remember the most out of all the ones i have. I like to think that, years in the future, i would have at least one story that can change how people think for the better.

This was fun. :)

ᴡʜᴏ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ, ᴛʀᴀᴠᴇʟᴇʀ? ᴡʜᴀᴛ ꜱᴇᴄʀᴇᴛꜱ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜɪᴅᴇ?

ɪɴᴛʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ ᴀꜱ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅʀ ʀɪɢʜᴛ ɴᴏᴡ.

ᴀꜱ ɪꜰ ᴍᴇ, ᴀ ʀᴀɴᴅᴏᴍ ꜱᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇʀ, ᴄᴀᴍᴇ ᴜᴘ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀᴛ ʜᴏɢᴡᴀʀᴛꜱ, ᴘᴀɴᴅᴏʀᴀ, ᴊᴀᴘᴀɴ, ᴀᴠᴇɴɢᴇʀꜱ ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ, ᴇᴛᴄ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀꜱᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅꜱ- ʜᴏᴡ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ɪɴᴛʀᴏᴅᴜᴄᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ?

ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴀʟᴋ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜰᴀᴠᴏʀɪᴛᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴏʀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ?

ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴛɪᴍᴇꜱ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʟᴀᴜɢʜᴇᴅ ᴛɪʟʟ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜱᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ ʜᴜʀᴛ?

ᴡʜᴀᴛ ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴇʟʟ?

*ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴏʀ ʀᴇʙʟᴏɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴀɴꜱᴡᴇʀꜱ- ɢᴏ ᴄʀᴀᴢʏ!*

@aurianashifts @a-licensed-renaissance-woman @ayasemakoto @dreamyshifts @icon1clyme @jadeshifting @ottaorca @stvrl0st @thesockdobbydidntget

[1204love]

giggly clumsy first time with bnd :3

this is so cute wtf anon i love your brain 🥹 i'll do a short write up for all of them excluding woonhak! im doing it on the basis that its both the reader and bnd's first time! im so sorry for not being active this past week, its been hectic 😭 i'll try to answer the other asks soon

sungho

he'd get so shy, awkward AND NERVOUS about having sex for the first time with you. he'd stutter a lot and get a little too tense so you resort to tickling him to get a laugh out of him and help him relax. he would fumble with the condom badly, hands shaking and all, lowly whining whenever he almost gets it on but fails...when he finally bottoms out (not without both of your limbs being everywhere on the bed) you and him fill the slightly awkward tension with kisses and laughter.

riwoo

he'd try to take the lead knowing that its your first time even though he barely knows what he's doing because he doesn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. he may seem confident in his actions but he hides his nervousness through planting kisses on your face and down your body, making you giggle from the sensation. foreplay would take a long while with him, taking his time to figure out what you like best and what you dislike, albeit a little clumsily.

jaehyun

he'd ramble on and on nervously about how good you look and how he's doesn't even know how to do it properly. embarrassed giggles would bubble up as the words that spill from his mouth processes belatedly in his head. he would accidentally tear a condom or two because he's just too excited to finally be able to have sex with you :( but he would make it up with praises and lots of laughter.

taesan

he'd be quite awkward with his actions but he'd talk a lot like jaehyun so that there wouldn't be any awkward silences. he'd eat you out sloppily but that's because he just wants to make you feel good. fingering would be a little sloppy too but since his fingers are so long, it actually would feel really good...if you suck him off, he might accidentally kick you or buck his hips up, making you gag and choke. the little clumsy mistakes that you both make would always bring the giggles out.

leehan

shy...and when i mean CLUMSY....fumbling with his clothes from the start, making out with a little too much teeth, apologising profusely everytime you make a noise because he can't tell if you're enjoying it or you're in pain. but he tries to crack a joke which successfully makes you laugh, breaking the awkward tension. he'd also definitely tear a condom or two but with your help, he's able to get it on within the next try.

[coff33notforme]

Healing!Re2 Leon

A/n: So so sorry I haven't posted anything in so long, I genuinely lost my love for writing for I think its been officially been a year since I last wrote something for fun. Don't fact check me on that, but I'm back! I'm trying to let myself just have fun with writing and not take myself so seriously so please be patient with me! Expect a lot of Resident Evil content from me! And don't be afraid to request! I'll be sure to update my request chart!

Summary: Takes place between re2 and re4! Basically just what happened to him after Raccoon city.

Notes: Headcannons, fluff mostly, themes of depression, alcoholism, body issues, gender neutral reader as usual!

Nothing could've prepared you for the look on his face when he arrived home. Opening your door for him at 11:00 at night, his face silhouetted by the gentle light of your porch lamp. His pale eyes seemed to be looking through you, his face tight with the unconscious clenching of his jaw, his adams apple bobbing faintly. The hum of your porch light filling your head.

Well, that was before you were cupping his face, you couldn't even remember the movement forward, all you could take in was the impact of his embrace. His arms wrapped tightly around you, and if it wasn't for the fact it was twenty degrees out, you'd say he was shaking.

Safe to say he'd move in with you after everything that happened, he needed that sense of security, that familiarity that he'd swear was almost entirely lost on him. He was wordlessly welcomed back into your life.

Though it wasn't all the same, he'd hope it would be, God he really wished. It was weird, having him back around, he was quiet, not in an awkward kind of way, he just didn't feel the need to make his presence known. This isn't to say he doesn't engage in conversation with you, he'll just need more of an obvious cue that you'd like to spark a conversation with him.

Leon won't exactly know what to do with himself, he tried giving himself a week to adjust, then back to the drawing board, that's what he told you. You assured him there was no pressure to jump right back into employment, he'd been through something truly life changing, I mean, it took you two whole months to just get over your dog running away highshcool.

He'd brush it off of course, he wasn't devastated, at least, not in the way you described, it wouldn't even be anything hard, just something simple. Like retail.

That lasted about two weeks, the first week itself just being job searching, but once he got into the flow and rhythm of stacking supplies in the back of some chain line grocery store, he'd have to quit. That kind of meaningless repetitive work only fed into his existential crisis that had been put on the back burner for far too long.

He'd call you crying during his shift, you'd have to pick him up, parking somewhere close so you could calm him down, he'd spill everything out to you. Rambling on and on about not wanting to spend the prime of his life stacking cans and rearranging produce.

Well at least that's how far he got before embarrassment came crawling up his back, digging its nails into his throat until it felt so tight he couldn't speak.

The drive home would be quiet, not the comfortable kind.

He'd spend a lot of time at home, long enough to where you not its not a phase, and that he's not not getting out of bed without an intervention of some kind.

He admits after weeks of obvious reluctance that he's not ready to work again, he just needs time. You assure him that its completely fine, though you're not entirely sure how much that statement holds true you don't mind picking up some extra shifts if it means comfortably supporting you both.

But that isn't to say he doesn't contribute at all, he's the one preparing all the meals every week. He's the one taking trips to the store, jotting down meal ideas on the pen pad you'd gotten him after the silent acceptance that he'd taken to doing all the cooking.

This goes for chores too, though he wouldn't take to that immediately, he's not used to viewing the house as more then somewhere he eats and sleeps, its only after a comment from you about the disarray of the living room would spark him into action.

After that you haven't seen a speck of dust grace your living room floors since. It's the least he could do since you're funding his identity crisis, well that's what he thinks.

Leon struggles with healthy attachment, he's still not used to the idea that he won't wake up and you'll be gone. Though this doesn't mean he's completely distant.

He does little things to show how much he cares. Like waking up early to prepare your breakfast with a warm cup of coffee, or how he always asks you first what you'd like for dinner.

Though he won't admit it, most days are a struggle. Not every day, but those are the ones where he gets to spend some quality time with you, or he washes it off with a can of beer or two.

He'd hate himself to admit it to you, but he's developed a bit of a drinking problem with all that time at home.

Though once you notice the amount of cans piling up in the recycling he'd guiltily admit that he's been using it to cope, though he doesn't say exactly with what.

You'd encourage him to take up therapy, though he'd hastily deny, you offered him to at least think about it, though the very idea of opening up to a stranger about his problems seemed absolutely absurd.

After a bit of time though, especially when you express your concern with his drinking, he yields. 

Of course with the excessive eating of comfort foods and now only occasional drinking, he’d developed a bit of a dad bod. He didn’t seem to notice at first, but one morning it seems to hit him all at once when he inspects himself in the mirror.

He’ll fiddle and prod at the soft pudge dripping from his sides, like the melted wax of a candle. His doughy thighs pressed together. He’s not really sure how to react, all he feels is this sort of disconnection from himself, like the person in the mirror isn’t really him. 

He’ll avoid it for months, but the changes are clear to you whether he knows or not. But it doesn’t fail to hit you that he hasn’t walked around without a shirt in weeks, not just a shirt, but the kind that completely engulfs his figure, until he’s practically swimming in material. 

You’ll have to intervene at some point, he’ll feel the weight of guilt pressing down onto his shoulders until he humbly admits, yeah, he doesn’t like the way his body looks anymore. You’ll need to have a conversation with him, assure him that it’s okay to gain weight, you don’t love him less just because he’s a little more soft around the middle. 

He’ll need you to gently coax him into being more comfortable with showing his body around you. Gently holding his hips when he's making his coffee in the morning, leaning into him when he hugs you, telling him when you think he looks nice. Just little things that really do boost his confidence. 

After months of unwavering support from you, he’ll notice the lack of disdain he feels when glancing at his reflection on passing surfaces. He'll be comfortable enough to let his belly breathe from time to time when walking around the house, maybe even offering to shower with you when given the chance. 

Of course, progress isn’t linear, he’ll have his days where he wishes more than anything the fat clinging to his frame would melt, like snow dripping from a rooftop against the breath of the morning sun. 

But at least now he feels comfortable admitting to you he isn’t always happy being in his own skin, and he knows you won’t try to correct his thoughts, rather then simply reassure him. He’s far from perfect, but more then anything you’re just glad he’s here.

©️ coff33notforme 2025 please don’t feed into any ai chatbot, or repost my content.

[cuppajj]

Is this the ask box? If not I'm so sorry I'm not used to tumblr literally only got it to follow your au. It's great btw love everything about it.

But anyways can I bonk Dragonberry on the head with a stick to get her attention and say hi, but with a really long stick so I'm not close to her when I do so? She's my favorite but she's scary and I while I would prefer to write her a letter but I don't want her to have my return address.

Also I've had my own au in the works but never actually bothered to start writing or properly figuring things out till after coming across your au which inspired me to start doing so and I just wanna know how you set everything up and figure out how to use who where and how you split stuff into arcs? I currently have 2 arcs based on the continent one being Crispia and the other being Beast-Yeast and both have chapters but Beast-Yeast is becoming a lot longer than Crispia due to how my au is set up and the fact the canon Beast-Yeast storyline isn't fully out and I was just wondering if you have any advice on what's best to do? I do want to eventually post my au and I've already gotten to work on the designs but I don't know the best approach to make it into something that others who are unfamiliar can understand.

Also sorry this turned out kinda long!

You can!! Though would advise against using the stick bc if she feels like it she could grab it and fling you while you’re still holding it

As for your second question about how I use arcs, it really just boils down to being a way to manage all the characters that are in the AU. Each saga focuses on one beast (including their respective of the original 5), the protag who is usually related to them in some way, and whatever story takes place in that specific arc alone. They’re meant to be mostly self contained, but they’d feed into a bigger narrative. The Vanilla Saga is a little different because while it’s technically self contained, Crepe as the main main character dabbles in a little bit of everything; but only crepe (also choco technically). You’re not likely to see Princess in the Lily Saga unless the two stories surrounding Dragonberry and Midnight Lily overlap.

I do have plans for sagas to overlap before the “all stories converge for the final saga” part, for example the Vanilla and Berry sagas will converge in Parfaedia well before that, but that would be a single story arc before they split up again. Some sagas can/would share the same events but would still largely be self contained.

Im going off on a ramble here but basically, BAAU’s sagas are just info management lol. With so many characters and stories to handle, it would be very confusing and bad if all of them were crossing over at every turn. When you’ve got a plot line that can serve as its own thing, it’s easier to tell where pieces of information belongs.

So that being said I should really start tagging the sagas in some of my baau posts 😭😭😭

[brokencages]

explaining my bpd neji headcanon

this started out as a self projecting hc for a modern au and then it spiraled and now i have a lot to say! sorry if it's incoherent and rambly that is simply who i am.

he displays a lot of symptoms common in (though not exclusive to) bpd. a pattern of unstable relationships, an unstable sense of self/identity issues, trouble managing anger, black and white thinking, fear of abandoment, self harming or suicidal behaviors etc.

first off is his black and white worldview in part 1. he believed in predetirmined fate and that you could do nothing to change it. he uses very extreme words, which i highlighted below, like never, always, unchangable, inevitable, useless, etc. all leaving no room for grey areas or other possibilities, even if deep down he doesn't believe it completely.

he cares for hinata but due to his views and his anger against the upper branch, it 'outweighs'/overshadows the good and he lashes out against her, this is reminiscant of splitting to me. the times we see him lashing out at her violently that had to be stopped by others were impulsive also, split seconds brusts of anger.

he has very little sense of self. from philosophy of fate being predetermined and unchanging, growing up in the lower branch being told his purpose is to protect hinata, and this scene:

it makes sense, it doesn't matter who he is or how he sees himself, since that never spared him or his father. he clings to the label of prodigy, which reminds me of when i struggle with my own sense of self, i latch onto a certain way i'm percieved or a character (cough cough neji).

his role is a genius and he will fulfill that, his role is in the lower branch and he will not escape that, and naruto's role is to lose, and he will not escape that. except when naruto didn't lose and that shattered his whole worldview.

when he previously devalued naruto, hinata, and lee for being weak and trying to defy fate, he was not only called out for doing the same (yk his projection/hypocrisy), but proven wrong, which led him to deeply respecting and idealizing naruto, swinging between the two extremes.

abandonment issues are kind of harder since they're not really shown, but the trauma lf losing his dad very likely resulted in that. so. and something that could be connected to it also is how he feels about weakness:

he's strong, and he's valued because of it. with what he said about how you must live in the boundaries of the judgements set by others and how he avoids being seen as weak, that could him not wanting to be abandoned if he's ever seen that way or if he goes beyond the boundaries of what others see.

during the kidomaru fight he also goes to great lengths to win, which yk happens in all the fights, but he also brings up how he can't lose BECAUSE he's a genius. he was fighting for his friends and naruto (and sasuke... sasuneji sneak...) but i think it's interesting how he still brings this up.

(btw i love the kidomaru fight so much btw it's one of my favourite fights because of neji's development and the scenes where his hair is all loose and when the bird flies overhead and the feather lands in his hand)

now onto self harming or suicidal behaviors! as far as i know it's a common sentiment that his death was suicide, and i agree. while it was to protect hinata and naruto you can't tell me he wasn't atleast a little suicidal T_T he believes that the only fate we share is death, and knows the only way to be rid of the caged bird seal is to die, that's a pretty easy road to suicidal ideation and one i personally relate to. with my chronic illness and mental health issues, i'd only be rid of them if i died, which did lead me to being suicidal and actually attempting.

okay i dont know how to end this but i think those are my big major points. looking at the diagnostic criteria for bpd he hits most. stress related paranoia or loss of contact with reality/dissociation is just an easy headcanon even if its not shown in canon.

okay bye ty for reading 🤍🤍🤍

[idontcaboose]

Haunted Car Au Part 12

Previous. Masterpost

Danny wasn't completely sure what all of the sound files Duke uploaded into the radio storage. Granted, the fact that there was apparently a 10 Terabyte hard drive just for the radio seemed a bit much, although it was over half full before Duke gave him a metric butt load of sound bytes, so maybe Batman was onto something. Now it was about three-quarters full…. How many files were there?

Either way, whoever named these files are the MvP of this entire situation. Either they were just the name of the saying, or we're named something like ‘exasperated 4’ and they were On Point!

Unfortunately there weren't any defined names other than movie references. Why were there three different versions of the “Hey, Becky, look at her butt” Danny didn't know, but he might use them for reasons.

Duke had left him alone with a disgruntled “Good Luck” after Danny started playing the ‘mood’ files to see exactly what they were. He figured Duke would come back in a few hours to have a “conversation” about his predicament. Until then……

DID THEY SOUND BYTE BATMAN HIMSELF?!?!?!

Next

@kizzer55555 @sebas-nights @candeartist422 @trappednyourheart @fandom-life-corrupted-me @tkiesai @2lbballpeenhammer @admiralwidow @rewrittenwrongs @whotfevenknowsanymore @symmetricalastigmatism @thespacedragons @atinygracie @okami-love @lesbian-spider-drone @1n0sss @forgetmenot-bluepurple

[windcarvedlyre]

I've been following @druidposting's DR2 playthrough on discord and we just had a really good discussion about DR's Closing Arguments. Specifically the way the murderer is depicted as grey and featureless, which until now I found a bit annoying.

In Danganronpa it's repeatedly the case that we don't have the full picture until the talking actually stops- which always goes beyond the end of the trial. We generally vote first and come to understand what the murderer's actual motive was, sometimes filling in important pieces of the timeline in the process, afterwards.

But none of that matters for the killing game because characters' emotions aren't directly relevant to who was the 'blackened'- the only thing that matters to Monokuma- so it comes out afterwards and does nothing to change their execution. It doesn't matter how sympathetic they are (basically everyone) or whether other people share responsibility for the situation (eg. Hanamura, Pekoyama, Momota) or whether they intended to murder at all (Nanami). They objectively pulled the trigger and nothing else matters. Nothing about them as a person matters.

The Closing Argument mechanic might illustrate that problem- literally. They're a dramatic, conclusive summary of the entire case... constructed before the vote even happens, before we know if we're actually right, and they're missing something really important:

The actual perpetrator.

We quite literally don't even begin to see the real person behind the crime, any real exploration of their mental state, anything besides the cold, hard facts of the murder that are necessary to convict them, until the comic finishes and the protagonist makes their final accusation- replacing the grey figure with their real appearance in a shot that's often intensely emotional.

And these comics lack crucial parts of the case's timeline and sometimes important parts of the very scenes they depict that we only find out about afterwards. And those are what we know; characters may die with some pieces of the truth and prevent us from ever learning them. These aren't objective depictions of the murder, they're the protagonist's subjective attempt to connect the facts they have. A join-the-dots portrait of someone with missing dots and no colour.

Even characters' expressions may not match how they truly feel, with the grey placeholder potentially looking way more confident and sinister than they were in reality. Pasting Falter's commentary here since they put it well.

For obvious reasons this could especially be a problem for characters that die before the trial- the ones we never get a post-vote testimony from. DR1 chapter 4 really highlighted that in the way Asahina's huge misinterpretation of Oogami's feelings took up a lot of the post-trial discussion, only for Monokuma to reveal Oogami's real suicide note and recontextualise everything.

It might really be a problem for how Komaeda's depicted in DR2 chapter 5. While he isn't greyed out, we get panel after panel where he's either level-headed or maniacally evil, and even the depictions of his self-torture and death don't humanise him:

But we know that his real feelings were more complicated than that. We have his actual corpse to compare the last page to.

He died afraid.

If we approach the comic as Hinata's mental image of him instead of reality, he died without anyone truly understanding him. He was alarming, very hard to relate to, actively fought against people doing so, ensured even the killer didn't watch him die, and the survivors couldn't begin to understand his motive until a chapter later. The Closing Argument reflects that.

Early in DR1 Togami calls out the rest of his class for judging others by their own standards. However, he, too, is doing this, maybe more so than many other characters; his inability to view other people through anything but the cold, brutal logic of the killing game bites him in the ass in chapter 4. In DR2 chapter 2 voting without a good understanding of Pekoyama's motive or Kuzuryuu's involvement nearly got everyone killed. Komaeda's a walking embodiment of the problems with flattening people into caricatures and not empathising with them, suffered from people doing that back to him, and his case- the Closing Argument for which turned everyone else into grey placeholders- was impossible to solve with objective facts. It was only survivable because the survivors cooperated and one person tried to analyse things the way he would.

The games have always been a critique of the justice system and Japanese society and push us to care about others as individuals, not reduce them to- and judge their right to exist by- something they've done or their net impact on society. There are always consequences when someone neglects to do that, and the above might be yet another way the games explore that theme.

[turtleblogatlast]

[ cw: death mention / family death mention / ]

Mhmm I sure love thinking of the reality where we did get more time to really know Karai and her dynamics with the bros. Losing her hit hard in the finale, but it would’ve hit much, much harder had we known Karai longer and really saw her relationships develop with everyone.

I especially would have been interested in her dynamic with Leo, as past iterations often have the two of them clash in ideals and the like while still sharing many characteristics. Two sides of the same coin, and all that. Her specifically being the bros’ Gram-Gram also adds a whole new dynamic as well.

Imagine how interesting it would be, to have Karai start off on Leo’s side for once, showing wholly just how alike the two are at their cores and bonding as family without the worry of betrayal or animosity that other iterations suffer through, only to have Karai die anyway. Their parting hug and the desperate look of horror Leo wears later on would have hit that much harder, I feel.

[sskk-manifesto]

Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me

[mooneln0ne]

Messy comic about his Intrusive thoughts

[queerofthedagger]

i'm re-reading the hobbit (aka it's my current falling-asleep audiobook) and there is something to doing that after having just read the silm and the great tales and (almost) the entirety of HoMe that just hits me in the sense of. so much of the great tales talk of great heroics and incredible deeds of valour. and yes of course their mode is different and that's why they feel like this, why they are a little untouchable sometimes, bigger than life, almost. but there still is something so poignant to returning to scared, terrified, shaking-in-his-boots bilbo baggins who faints at the notion of a dragon and baulks at the idea of an adventure and then goes anyway.

i don't have a very coherent conclusion about this yet beyond, it keeps making me think of the 'courage is not absence of fear, it's being scared and doing it anyway' and how on one side it says so much about bilbo, about how he goes, and keeps going, keeps growing with each new step on the road, without ever quite stopping being scared out of his mind. and how on the other side it is also a reminder that regardless of the tales painting them great, we should not forget how often all the great heroes must have been scared, too. how they went anyway. perhaps finrod did not faint at the prospect of facing sauron, but he went anyway. perhaps hurin did not quail in the face of morgoth, but he must have been terrified for himself and his family anyway. how he kept resisting anyway. perhaps luthien did not try to convince herself just to stay home on page, but how hard the road regardless. how she walked it anyway! like!!

[walkingstackofbooks]

Wish wish wishhhh we'd seen the reactions of Julian's friends to the enhancements reveal. Miles' was lovely, ofc, but we got like, a slice of Sisko and then crickets.

And obviously Garak's reaction would have been priceless, but also what about Jadzia? And Kira? And Odo? And and and... I just feel so robbed every time I remember we didn't see it :(