#sorry didnt mean anything and perhaps it never could
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
sometimes
i am a femcel, i am a morally dubious believer, i am just a girl, sometimes i know i am more than the disempowering connotations of one, i am only one, i am everything and everyone that makes me, i am in need to document the shitshow and self indulge
#for the memes#shits and giggles#love myself#self indulgent#well#morally dubious#im here to participate in what i condemned before#im here to be#human#im here to paint myself with the colours of a demon#im here to not look back and say sorry#sorry didnt mean anything and perhaps it never could#never be sorry.#anymore#idgaf#lost the idgaf war#femcel#introductions#intro#girlblogger#im just a girl#sometimes#hello world#girlrotting#close minded and short sighted#complain#lamenting#i love it all#self intro#introduction post
17 notes
·
View notes
Note
could you write something about bbf!ellie spanking reader
“thing”.
an: giggling cause she’d want to be all stern with her spankings but she’ll end up a pussydrunk mess. plus she’s a lil cocky sorry. mdni.
in result to being too much of a “tease”, according to ellie, (mind you — the ellie that whispers dirty things in your ear as you’re scrubbing the dishes, the ellie who walks around with a visible bulge in the front of her jeans, and yet somehow you’re the said “tease” for simply brushing your back against her front whilst conversing with your brother) you found yourself pressed up against the wooden door of your guest room, that ended up being ellie’s bedroom for the month, with your tights bunched down together around your ankles.
“you’re unbelievable, babe… y’know that?” she muttered underneath her hot breath, making the microscopic hairs on your neck quickly rise up. her entire body weight is pushed up against your back, her chapped yet somehow soft lips brushing up on your bare shoulder. she lays a delicate kiss there, one that makes you unbelievably hot in the face, contrasting her harsh grip on the fat of your ass. “i didn’t… do anything, i, i swear” you nothing but lie, which makes ellie let go of a deep, throaty chuckle. “mhm, ‘course you didnt, huh?… you never do” she croons, then loosens her grip just to form an even tighter one, one that makes your breath hitch as a guttural groan leaves ellie’s mouth. you’re a little pissed off, eyebrows furrowed down, brain-wheels turning and thinking of a way to make ellie take the blame for once — because as much as you love your little games, she seems to love them even more. “s’not my fault you’re always walking around with that thing in your pants…”
to that, ellie laughs, she actually laughs, breathy and teasing and mean, and if you weren’t the one spending each and every night in “her” bed, you could say she was straight up being a bully. “thing, huh?” she asks, and you might even think she was sounding a little offended, but you know her too well. “so that’s how you’re calling it now? a thing? that’s… funny, babe, you’re very very funny” she teases, and before you have time to think of a snarky response, she lifts her hand up and lands it harshly on the fat of your ass. you jump at the sudden pinching and painful contact, and ellie shushes you intently. “it’s not funny”, you whisper through gritted teeth. ellie deeply sighs, “i think it is though. think it’s funny that you beg for that thing every night, know what, lemme think… how’d you put it last time?”, she rasps and pushes you up even further against the door — which you didn’t even think was possible, your cheek now fully squished up against the cold wood. “think you said something like… ‘need your cock ellie’” she mocks in a high pitched voice, one that sounds exactly like yours when that “thing” is deep and snug between your slippery walls. you whine something that should sound like “shut up ellie”, but ends up sounding like “shhsthupfff el” — because you can’t even talk properly with your cheek pressed up against the door.
ellie chuckles meanly and mocks you again. “fill me up, els… please fill me up… need your dick, please give me your dick” she imitates, her voice slightly shaky now. you can tell she’s clearly turned on by imitating your pleas, and you have to give it to her, truly — because perhaps you do sound like that, and how can you not when she’s giving it to you that good? “ha… hate you”, you hiccup pathetically, ellie rolling her eyes. “you hate me now? that it? hate me and my thing?” she drawls, her voice rich and husky, and she speaks in that tone of hers, a certain tone that makes you know that she’s not buying your bullshit. although she doesn’t voice it, it’s filled with “i know you love me” — and “fuck it… i love you too”
the next time her calloused, rough palm makes contact with your ass, the slap nearly rings in your ears. it echoes through the room, bouncing off it’s walls. ellie lifts up her hand and looks at it, examining it’s redness. “shit, goddamn…” she mutters, then soothes the pain by rubbing your aching flesh up and down. she separates your globes, spits down a string of saliva that runs through your asscheeks. you flinch and try squeezing them together, but ellie doesn’t let you, she merely grabs your cheeks forcefully and crouches down to her knees. if this is a show — she’s has the front fucking seat. when she notices your thighs are poorly trembling, she nearly coos, but ends up kissing the plush of your left asscheek. “that one hurt…” you cry, forcefully biting down on your bottom lip, attempting to hold on to a precious fat tear. “take it… yeah? jus’ take it, no crying” she commands, but her voice is just as shaky and desperate as yours. “if you move…” she warns, but it really is too late because you just did, quivering knees nearly bucking and crashing down. she lands another harsh slap on your ass that makes not only you, but her as well, to let out a breathy whimper. ellie looks up as if she’s talking to you, eyebrows scrunched together as she watches your forehead softly banging on the door with a thud. “got that?” she asks, now planting not one but two harsh slaps on your ass, one with each hand. when you yelp and then moan, ellie notices a honeyed slickness covering your inner thighs, and her eyes nearly grow pitch black. she has to physically restrain herself from just saying fuck it and fuck your punishment and eating it on the floor.
“poor fuckin’ thing… this is turning you on? bet it hurts, huh?” she teases and you nod fervently although she can’t see you, and even if she could — she probably wouldn’t bother to look, not when your pussy’s sobbing for her in front of her face. although the pressure inside of your tummy is building up, in fact, ellie’s own pressure is almost ten times worse. her silicone strap is now messily tucked inside her boxers, the tip of it god knows where and the base deliciously rubbing her throbbing clit. in a sudden spurt of confidence, you shakily whisper; “i know how bad you wanna fuck me” — it catches her completely off guard, her fake sternness drifting away and landing on it’s goddamn nose. “i… fff’… fuck you” ellie stammers, pink tongue nearly poking out of her mouth.
suddenly, ellie gets up and pulls around you to face her. your cheeks are swollen, moist with salty tears, eyelashes heavy and sticky and lips so soft with actual bite marks on them, it almost hurts that she can’t tell you how fucking angelic you look because of how stubborn she is to keep up with her act. you, however, there’s no act for you to live up to, so you pucker up your lips and try to kiss her — she physically swerves you. slowly, she backs away.
“not getting any fuckin’ thing from me”
which is by the way, a total and utter lie, because at exactly 2am, you’re woken up by three knocks on your door, and a grumpy ellie with sweet puppy dog eyes, telling you that “being mean to you fucking sucks, and i woke up ‘cuz i needed to kiss you so bad”
#𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 anon 🎀#ellie williams#bbf!ellie#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams smut#ellie williams fanfiction#ellie williams x you#ellie x reader
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello! Your an amazing writer lol, but could I request anemo boys with a reader who's really anxious about people and just about everyone in general. The reader can be female or gn ^^
characters: xiao, kazuha, heizou, scaramouche x fem/gn! reader
warnings: themes of social anxiety, fluff! [thank you anon! this is so so late i’m sorry. this is a cute idea as someone with anxiety around others <3]
xiao
୨୧ Xiao admires your withdrawn personality— he didn’t think of your anxiety around others as a dire issue, especially as he was always there to protect you. Though his thoughts changed as it became worrying at one point.
୨୧ You wouldn’t leave the house at all if your boyfriend wasn’t with you, wether it was to get groceries or to simply get a breath of fresh air. He hated himself for it, thinking he’d probably caused it to worsen and he spent every minute with you to pacify your mind.
୨୧ He saw him within yourself— avoiding other people and interactions so avidly for the sake of your own comfort. With an abundance of reassurance and understanding, he had gotten to a point where he was semi-confident to appear in the streets of Liyue. All because of your words, those that you didn’t follow yourself.
୨୧ Xiao didnt know where to start, should he discuss it with you or should he remain subtle? He watched you closely, you weren’t as shy with him, if at all. Always so keen to share anything you had found while in the isolated forests, be it a flowering bamboo shoot or a photograph.
୨୧ Yet the second you entered the harbour, all your personality seemed to be drained from within you. He felt your shaky hand grasp his own whenever anyone came towards you, your heart was beating at a near unhealthy rate from the mere thought of engaging in conversation.
୨୧ It pained him to see such a lovely person like yourself feel like you didn’t fit in anywhere. Except from in between his arms, albeit inexperienced with embracing you, it was comforting nonetheless.
“Dear, if you ever need me, just call out my name.”
kazuha
୨୧ It wasn’t exactly unfamiliar for him at all, if anything, Kazuha slightly understood your apprehension towards others. When he had asked you why— out of curiosity, you couldn’t put it into words. Hence why such a poetic lover could do it for you.
୨୧ You’d shield yourself under his arms, hiding from something. Perhaps the lingering gaze of common folk, yet wouldn’t that prove how beautiful you truly are? Had he interpreted the message wrongfully? It seems so.
୨୧ “Like the breeze which flows across these lands, carrying all sorts of leaves, each different from the rest, some poisonous to the touch, others blank and rarely those with beauty in the howl they sing in passing.” Kazuha had described it, a suitable analogy according to your praise.
୨୧ He has never pushed you from where you were comfortable— insisting you take your time on the journey of expression. Need something from the market but you feel to anxious to go? Absolutely fine, your lover brings photographs and all you desire to familiarise the place to you. After all, nothing good is formed in rushed writing.
୨୧ On days where your perturbation reached worrying levels, Kazuha would sit beside you through it, offering to discuss your feelings. A compassionate man such as he listened to every tense word that stammered past your lips with only patience.
“Darling, I promise these turbulent emotions will pass, for now, please remember how much you mean to me and those who adore you.”
heizou
୨୧ It’s only natural for the renowned detective of the Tenryou Commission himself to notice your hesitation around people— you’d soon come to realise you weren’t as discreet as you thought you were.
୨୧ Simple gestures, like fumbling and fidgeting with your fingers or an object, even hiding your face from others behind your frail hands (which he found unusual, you’re beautiful, why would you hide yourself away?) to complete states of panic, where you would shut the world out for hours at a time.
୨୧ It wasn’t easy at all for you, he knew that best. He recalls how when he first started dating you, how quiet and tense you were. Now you’ve warmed up to him enough to tell him about your worries. Heizou would take your hands in his own, massaging them and observing your brittle nails from biting them so often.
୨୧ You’ve insisted multiple times that your boyfriend must of found you irritating or annoying yet he feels his heart break every time those accusations fall from your lips. How he hated the self-deprecating words you degrade yourself with. Heizou would do anything to make you realise the truth.
୨୧ He loves you— the detective would leave meetings and parties just to stay by your side, if you didn’t feel comfortable around a person he’d instantly leave and go with you instead. Nothing matters more than the apple of his eye, no matter how anxious you are.
“Sweetheart, i adore you for who you are, everyone else comes second to you.”
scaramouche
୨୧ When he met you at first, Scaramouche couldn’t understand your fear of other humans, why would your arms shake whenever someone merely approached you? Why wasn’t it the same with him— is it because he’s not human?
୨୧ A puppet, one too emotional to function as intended and one too unfamiliar with social norms. That’s all he was, and you were drawn into him for it. Now that you’re both closer than ever, he’s realised he’s not meant to decipher you, but rather to accept and protect.
୨୧ If anyone got too close to you, he’d shield you with his body in a heartbeat, deterring them away. Those cold, indigo eyes softened by your trembling hands. Such a delicate being, he’s handle everyone else like meaningless stones, yet you’ll be upheld and guarded like priceless pottery, as if you’d crack with the raise of his voice.
୨୧ He knows how it feels to be dismissed and ignored, and Scaramouche would do anything to abolish such a cruel act against you. His empty chest filled with warmth, all of your love and reliance into a loving pulse of affection. A makeshift heart.
୨୧ A couple of limited words, but so rich in actions the outside eye couldn’t see. You cherish what you have, and so does he.
“I’ll admit, when i’m with you, i don’t feel so inhuman anymore, i’m given a purpose that i’ve been searching for.”
#we’re zhongli and xiao lovers here#genshin impact#genshin#genshin x reader#xiao#kazuha#heizou#scaramouche#wanderer#xiao x reader#kazuha x reader#heizou x reader#scaramouche x reader#genshin fluff#genshin comfort#scara x reader#genshin x gn reader#genshin x female reader#5wirl#4nemo
633 notes
·
View notes
Text
"I don't believe in God, but I believe that your my savior."
Soshiro Hoshina x Suicidal Fem Reader!
Summary: (name) a person with no beliefs, no reason and will to live gets hospitalized after another attempt. There, she meets hoshina soshiro and she's been looking forward to waking another morning since.
TW:mention of death, reader got hospitalized for attempting, mention of bedrotting.
Title is from the song "sailor song" by Gigi Perez!
Part 2!
You and Soshiro talked for hours, the cans of the coffee he's got you both long forgotten and moist. To say they were the most comfortable hours of your life wouldn't be an exaggeration. Your sure hes got you hooked. Humbly, you ask anyone; be it fate or any god. You wish, you beg, you 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘺 to whoever in charge to extend the hours with him. One minute more to bask in his presence, thats it. You've never desired something so much that you decided to pray. That was something you never thought you'd do. You didnt dwell your whole personality on just a mere belief. But he's got you on your knees, hands claspped with eyes screwed shut, asking for another more minute.
"So so, what d'ya do you think the doctors here do on their free time?" A silly and deranged question. From the short time you'd spend with him, not even a day Long, you had keeped count of those incoherent questions of his. You dont know if he was doing it On purpose, but those questions are the ones That sat you here on this bench fo hours.
"well, This is a tiring job. So they'd probably want as much rest, right?"
"Probably, Your right. I like to think they gossip about patients."
"Thats completely unprofessional."
He laughs. You laugh to, and you dont evem realize it. The vibrating echo of Your laughter didnt sound forced this time, it didn't need to be ripped and snatched out of your throat. It was sincere, you could say it would only be with him. This is new, clutching your stomach in futile attempt to control the laughs that keep escaping, incredibly new. You dont even know what your laughing at anymore, you just are. Hoshina had stopped making noise the moment you did. It was his first time hearing someone laugh like that, so raw and free. He could tell your unfamiliar with the sound of your own happiness, it wasnt rocket science. He feels like he'd just unveiled an artifact, so precious even when kept and hidden for centuries. It would mean the world to him if he could keep making you laugh like this. He didn't say anything, he'd be so guilty if he interupped you at your highest.
But all good things must come to an end. You know that the most. Your familliar with the bitterness that comes after everything worth hanging on to. It all seemed to short, even now. The moment Hoshina checked the time, you knew what was coming next, you could smell it a mile away. Yet you still hopped you were wrong, you dont want this conversation to end just yet. You dont want to face everything head on again. That face he made told everything, it screamed 'i have to go' and it wrathed over your chest. You dont want him to go, you dont want to leave the comfortable atmosphere with him. And above all, you dont wanna feel like an empty walking corpse once more. Hoshina turned to face you, a mourning look adorned his features. That was a new expression of his you've witnessed, you've only seen him giddy and silly until now. Now, he looks upset. You know your time with him is over for today.
"Hey, (name), really sorry but I hafta go now. That smug of a doc said I have prescriptions to take." Thats odd, why is he apologizing? Could he perhaps feel the same agony as you? You believe its impossible, but not because you think he doesn't care. Because he cant possibly match the ache in your chest. He cant, for its to much to even put into words. He hasn't even moved from his seat yet you already long to be in his presence again. Hoshina is sad, yes, but you are 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥.
"Its fine, I really uh— enjoyed talking to you."
"Hey now, dont say it like we wont see each other again. Yer still treating me tomorrow, dont forget about that now. "
"Right."
You guys parted ways after waving goodbye and mumbling 'see you'. The walk back to your hospital room, you felt even more empty and hollow each step your feeble legs took you. Because each step signicates a meter added to the distance between you and him. You dont know where Hoshina is right now, you cant pinpoint his exact location in this big of a hospital and If you could strap a beacon on him, you would. Your chest boils once again, you could feel your lungs close to giving in. It was hell all over again, yet this time, the pain your experiencing is caused by longing. Not because of something so unpleasant, but because of something beautiful. Beautiful, despite being so painful. You pass by many people on the way back, patient and worker alike. You wished you'd pass by a man with a purple bowlcut instead.
You arrived to your own quarters and just collapsit, headfirst on the hospital bed, burrying rour face onto the pillow. It smelled alcholic, to much chemicals used to cleanse it. You inhaled a breath full despite it, the smell left a blazing path in your nostrils, on their way to Polute your lungs. You laid back up right, now met with the pristine material of the crystal white ceiling. Why does every hospital have to be white? Its always so blinding. Not to mention your now having a staring contest with the very source of light in the room, that antagonizing light bulb. It'll turn off automatically at a certain time, but you want it to close now. The darkness was always your comfort, there you were able to lay yourself bare without anyone having to see you.
Your mind wanders back to Hoshina, it seems he put a leash on you as to why you keep thinking about him for more than a normal amount for just a day. You dont wanna be where you cant see him, you wanna hear his sickenly joyous voice and his flashing smile that outshines even the farthest of stars, you wanna talk nonsense with him again, his nonsense never failed to Lift the corners of your mouth to a smile. And you will, tomorrow.
Tomorrow, 8 am. Thats the time you've both agreed upon. Usually, you wouldn't get up until late in the afternoon, just rotting on your bed, the walls would always cave in and the atmosphere was suffocating. You never got up. There was no good reason to, you almost convinced yourself to throw all common sense and self hygiene out the window and just get buried rotting on your bed. Because every time you'd get up, it feels like every misfortune of the whole globe are dumped on your shoulders. It weighs you down, it weighs you back on that sickenly sweet mattress and there you stay there until the next blue moon.
But now, you want to drift to sleep faster and when you wake, your ready to meet Hoshina again. Your so eager to see him, it cant be controlled. His face is the only thing you'd never get tired of. You think its hilarious, you've only met him but you were sure he could mean more. This isn't just some high school crush, your confident about your feelings towards him for you've never felt something this intense your whole uears of living. Not even your longing of death can overrun this feeling. You sew your eyes tight, seeing only pitch black, all this so you could finally sleep and who knows? Maybe even see him in the phantasms of your unconscious state of mind. Thats how low you've stooped. You'll sleep so you can see him faster, you dont like waiting long.
Eventually, you do fall asleep. But not Hoshina. Yes, he's still awake, in his own room, fresh bandages wrapped around his injuries he got from fighting. And yes, if your wondering, hes thinking about you to. He yearns to be in your presence as well, almost as much as you. He doesn't know why. He talks with everyone like that, but he's enjoyed his time with you exceedengly more. Hoshina has been put aside his whole life, all because of his talent and preference for blades over guns. Just because of one measly difference, he was treated differently and looked down upon. But with you, he felt cherished. Its a first for Hoshina to not get judged by first meeting. He doesn't have to train hard or change anything to impress you, it'll come naturally. Hoshina turns around on the matress, facing the window so the ripe rays of the moonlight slapped on his face in result. 'I wants to see her again' was the last thing he talked about before falling asleep.
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
Its 6 in the morning and your half awake. You woke up to early, just how excited are you? But its not a good thing that theres still alot of time before the agreed upon time. You just know that the next 2 hours will double tenfold when waiting to see Hoshina again. Your not a morning person, not at all. Your regular routine is not for the faint of heart. If some woke up at 6am, you'd be turning off Your phone and tucking yourself to bed. So your shocked by your eagerness to see him, to the point where you'll try to get better. Your convinced Hoshina has hit you with a pan, because your aacting absolutelyInsane.
You brush your teeth and hair, and thoroughly clean your bruises as to the doctors said. You wonder when you gonna get discharged but thats for later, dear reader. You dread the fact that you have to wear that awful hospital gown again, but alas, it is required. You try to look as presentable as you can. You usually wouldnt bother putting effort in your physical appearance, but you figured it would be nice for once. You were sat on a chair, waiting impatiently like a child waiting for they're treat. You were milimeters close to just turning the Whole building upside down just so you can see Hoshina.
So imagine how excited you were when the clock had acutely hit the digit 8. The minute it did, you were busting out of the room, with your injured leg by the way. The pain had seemingly went away and healed, or it was Just overpowered by your giddyness that your nerves didn't have the space to make up for physical pain. So here you were, dragging yourself across these hallways once again. You passed by that same old lady on a wheel chair that you did yesterday. She gave you a judging face back then, which a wasn't such rare occurrence, you were used to having such glares dumped upon the entirety of your shameful being. But now you wondered if she found any difference, between the walking dead body you were yesterday and the eestatic, hungry, affection driven limp you are now.
Whilst you were rushing like you were catching up to a work deadline, he was enjoying his walk through these glossy, hauntingly white hallways. Taking each step according to the comfort of his legs, hands crossed on the broadness of his chest as he struts the hallway. Soshiro Hoshina has always been scary great at maintaining his composure. Those under his wing back at the third division are well aware of it, they have front row seats to how he switches from acting all goofy to having a stoic face in a matter of miliseconds, they even kidded around about how his control over his expressions is the work of witchcraft. However, don't be fooled by his calm demeanor, he's excited to see you as well. But as Vice-captain, it wouldn't be very ideal to him if he just jogged as fast as he can in patient filled hhallway. Hoshina disciplined himself to the bone, he wont let up now.
After what seemed like an eternity of turning corners and navigating his way through these hallways, Hoshina finally sees sight of the cafeteria. He steps in, and the homogenous smell of the food slaps him in the face. If he was weird enough to concentrate and differentiate the aroma, he probably can guess whats on the menu for today. Hoshina wastes no time in trying to find your presence, your presence in which he couldn't get enough of yesterday. His head startes whipping around, turning left to right, right to left in search of a peek of your appearance. He was baffled to say the least, shocked at the population of the people present here this morning. He wants to see you, asap. He started walking to those with even with the slightest resemblance of what your physical appearance looks like, in hopes that it would be you. He saw someone with the same hair color as yours, kinda fooled him there for a brief second. He just kept circling around the vastful room, so distracted in finding you. He doesn't wanna merely sit down and wait, conclude that your not here yet and he should just sit tight. Scarlet eyes scanned the whole cafeteria, but eyes always had blindspots where they provided no visuals, thats why he didn't notice your presence coming up from his south.
You tapped his shoulder from behind.
He doesn't think hes ever whipped his head back that fast his whole life. Hoshina turned his head so urgently he swears he heard a subtle pop in his neck. Upon seeing the sight of your face, he was 'joyous', actually thats underwhelming what Hoshina was feeling at the moment, he was euphoric. His skin feels like its being roasted and his lungs are short of gas. He feels weird, he doesn't know what to do or what to say so hoshina just stood there agape. You didn't move a muscle either, mouth zipped shut with no intention of letting put any sort of noise in fear that he'd back away. You didn't dare try to make a distance, everything else caved in, nothing else mattered, just the one in front of you. He looked so right, and by that you dont mean he's handsome (although he surely is very attractive). By 'right' you mean you'd never get tired of his appearance.
Hoshina Soshiro, to you, is the finest work of art exhibited in museum of life, the most astounding creation of matter you've laid your eyes upon.
Oh shit, you like him, the Hoshina Soshiro.
#hoshina soshiro x reader#hoshina x reader#kn8 x reader#soshiro hoshina x reader#kaiju no. 8 x reader
57 notes
·
View notes
Note
i know its an older post but irt that incest post sometimes i feel like ppl just dont and cannot get it until it happens to them. i couldnt even comprehend it as a possibility until i was 14 staying at my uncles house for a while and i still cant comprehend it as a thing that happened to me sometimes. i think its bc ppl feel security with their families in that sense— even if theyre abused in other ways, its like, “well, i know them and they’d still never do THAT.”
perhaps its bc we are still not educated about the dangers of incest as children. ever. we are taught stranger danger. we’re taught what inappropriate touch is. and when we’re a little older we’re taught to recognize grooming behaviors, but we’re never taught about what its like when it comes from family members— and what’s more we’re taught to assume the best from family members, to think of them as the exception to inappropriate touch or behaviors, when they DO make us uncomfortable instead of recognizing those behaviors as red flags. then one day it becomes too late, like it did with me. and maybe that contributes to the idea that its a non-possibility in some people, that it only happens in fiction.
the most i’ve ever seen presented to children as a red flag irt incest is the idea of a mother’s boyfriend or a stepparent acting inappropriately, but that still comes from the angle of “you havent known them for as long so this means they could also be a predator.”
we still don’t fully address what the commonly cited statistic “most sexual abuse comes from someone the survivor knows” MEANS. its not just friends. not just partners. its your family, too. its people you’ve known all your life.
but ultimately— i’m finally making my point i promise— the reason we dont address those things is because the idea that children should be able to turn to their community when their family fails them is too controversial, and not just among families that support incestuous abuse. “if my child knows they can confide in a teacher/neighbor about anything, they might become rebellious. god forbid somebody other than me contributes to my child’s development!”
people prefer the heightened possibility of their child being subjected to incestuous abuse over their child having any semblance of autonomy.
sorry for the long ask i’d usually post this to my blog but this is not something i’d be okay publicly speaking about.
hi sorry this took a bit to answer that post IS from a while ago and i wasnt sure how to respond, because i have fortunately never experienced that type of abuse myself and dont have much to add beyond agreement. i didnt want to just leave this in my inbox though since its clear you put a lot of thought into it.
i think a lot of the opportunities for incestuous abuse stem from the traditional family structure not actually prioritizing protection or comfort, but control that feels threatened every time somebody tries to bring it up. nobody wants to actually prevent it because that would mean acknowledging family as a potential threat, as well as breaking down the ways the controlling of sex and ownership by said family is already normalized in culture (ex. fathers vigorously defending their daughters virginity, etc). this is all why imo discussions on this should go hand in hand with childrens rights and body autonomy, but even in these discussions its rare to see it actually brought up
its really something that needs to be talked about more, but people struggle to see past "alabama" jokes and fauxcest porn
#og post#ask#anon#incest cw#for context a post i made about incest being incredibly normalized is getting notes again#realized this is probably incredibly out of nowhere if you havent seen it LOL#oh and this isnt even getting into how frustrating it is that so many people go to thoughts on this topic are essentially eugenics
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
wolf359. its grasped me again.
I have become obsessed again. To the point I wrote a ABSURDLY LONG ramble about Warren Kepler. I wrote it in discord messages and I will not be taking the time to fix the typos. There are so many.
But yes, I wrote a... character analysis? It's honestly just about the last season.
⚠️Major spoilers ahead. For last season, the finale, anywhere past 45 basically. If you have not completed wolf 359 entirely, well, this will be the end all be all of spoilers.
oooh. I should put a highlight here: but he assumed it was a "sorry, you are wrong and I am right, and you are going to die, and perhaps you deserve to in my eyes." when it really meant "You are right. I love you. I would do anything for your safety even if you may never know I was doing it for you." <<<< i love this part. im so smart. squints. im actually not but i was onto somethin
And be warned that it is long. Google docs says 1563 words. I'll put it under this read more.
Have fun. I hope this is any bit comprehensible.
--------------------------
okokok. so. warren kepler. i could talk about this man for HOURS, i swear. but i need to START somewhere so why not start at his death. I love thinking aboiut it... and by that i mean i hate thinking about it. buts its great. so tragic. i love characters dying like that; they are introduced as a douche. dickhead, antagonist, honestly villain. not likeable, really. (by that i mean well written but the character themselves being THE WORSTTT) (although i love him i DID used to HATE HIM) (i always joked about wanting to throw him out of an airlock... no seriously. i didnt know. help)
BUT, throughout the show, despite them being a dick, we are shown some moments of them almost.. being human. cause they are. everyone, despite how mean or stuckup or 'emotionless' they are, is human, and humans feel emotions.
okok, so at this point some hate em, some love em (altho mostly lovehate), but overall they are.... antagonistic but with the potential. not enough potential however.- (quick sidetrack here, i swear i get back to my point eventually)
The Last Season. oml, the first time I watched it, before I knew what kepler was doing, I thought,"kepler is acting weird". kepler is acting almost nervous, and something just felt off. yes it was because cutter was there, kepler was used to being in charge and aggressive about it to make his subordinates feel scared and therefore listen to him. which in the last season, is clear where he learned that from; cutter. but now cutter was back and he was the subordinate and scared one. he wasnt The Most Powerful One There anymore. BUT ALSO
Maybe he acted weirdly because,,listen,, he was already planning something against them. it makes sense. he was sort of kept in the dark, but he knew something was going to happen.
He had to watch his crew like that, despite having just held a mutany against him, he still knew them. they were stuck in space together, they knew eachother, but also JACOBI. kepler interacting with mindcontrolled jacobi was. thats a rant for later on.
But. He had just had his morals rocked. His right hand man, his most loyal companion, betrayed him, tried to get him killed, he lost his other teammate- no, friend, and well, if you look closely enough he really had some time to think about it all.
And thats where he decided that he was not on the side he always had been on, the one he worked for for god knows how many years, the one who he had based his entire mindset on, and maybe he realized that his idea of a bigger picture didnt line up with Goddard's.
Maybe he was doing it for Jacobi. and maxwell. Maybe he was doing it for the whole crew. or the whole world. Maybe he really, truely, cared. deep down.
I also think that he wasnt planning to make it out alive.
He didnt want to face it afterwards. He convinced himself that this was the only way- that he couldn't possibly have made it out alive and that sacrificing himself for the greater good was the only way.
He could have survived that. The hardest part would have been convincing the others to let him on the homebound ship. (the sol i believe?) jacobi begged him to stay. oml that scene. another rant for later on.
But going back to my first point- I love that they really gave you one last reason to care about his death. If he died still on goddards side, even if he seemed a bit hesitant, that was still the cowards choice. they really said "hey he actually cares about the greater good and to an extent, the others. anyway immediatly after that revelation kill him." They gave us a reason to cry.
I love characters like that. You hate em, but before they die, you are given a reason to give a fuck. Really wrenches your heart.
back to other points. rachel, had been SHOT. and yet managed to push him into the airlock and close the door. you could say he was overconfident, but I believe thats uncharacteristic. hes always on guard, always thinking of every way something could go wrong and how to account for it. He should have thought about rachel fighting back. he could have stopped her, but he had already accepted that he would, and perhaps should die here. perhaps he didnt want to face everything after it all. how he might actually care about ppl. how fucked up he acted and all his bad actions. and also, how he could keep living beyond His Job. the artist formerly known as warren kepler. if he stopped Making Art, who was he to go back to? warren kepler didnt exist. he was just a husk.
thats why i love reading Kepler Back From The Dead fics. it would have been SO INTERESTING. although its fair they wanted to wrap up arcs, or at least leave them on something somewhat satisfying, and kepler was definitely NOT done cooking. put that man back in the microwave he is STILL cold in the middle.
anyway. kepler was a coward for dying but at least cowardice is human.
>He couldnt tell anyone. What he was planning. couldnt even tell jacobi, "hey, im on ur side and also im going to stop it all. and sacrifice myself" because rachel was there. rachel was watching, and she was arrogant that kepler couldnt possibly not be on goddards side. yeah she probably definitely knew he cared about jacobi, but the others? she was not expecting him to actually have the confidence to go aginast CUTTER.
jacobi begged for him to be on their side, argued good arguements,
but jacobi thought. there is no way this will work. absouletly no way he will actually listen to me. but he did. kepler had already planned this. kepler couldnt put into words why he was doing this, but when rachel asked him why he echoed their words; because he is human.
but kepler couldnt tell jacobi that he was listening. and that he cared about him. he couldnt say he wished jacobi would make it out alive, or that the others would b ok, or that he wasnt going to make it back.
all he could say was "Thank you Daniel, and goodbye." AKJHSDKJAHSKDH that line makes me want to CRY. its more evidence that kepler totally knew he was going to die. or at least expected it. the way he said goodbye like he knew it really was the last. called him daniel, and maybe others werent aware what that really meant, perhaps they were, but jacobi knew he never called him that. that that meant something. he didnt know what, but he assumed it was a "sorry, you are wrong and I am right, and you are going to die, and perhaps you deserve to in my eyes." when it really meant "You are right. I love you. I would do anything for your safety even if you may never know I was doing it for you."
.... "thank you" for being in my life? for teaching me how to be good? for everything? AUGH I LOVE THESE FICTIONAL MEN.
>His interactions while the others were mindcontrolled. I relistened to the first episode or two of the last season, and kepler honestly showed signs that he was already doubting goddard. that he wasnt as confident as when the others last saw him. and they commented on this- rachel talked about hera and kepler replied almost remincing about his time on the hephaestus. he said 'she had always been stubborn.' and rachel said 'careful warren, wouldnt want to sound like you admire it.'
And the whole scene with cutter, pryce, kepler, and mind controlled jacobi. Cutter definitely purposefully picked out jacobi to take notes during that. cutter realized something was off about him. He was weaker, almost upset that his subordinate was mindcontrolled? and would obey his every command? cutter had just improved them; and the kepler that cutter wanted wouldnt have cared. but he clearly did care, as he told- no, lied- to cutter about jacobi being a good team member. despite the fact jacobi almost got him shot, like, not even an hour before I think? He was worried jacobi would be punished, or hurt, or even killed.
Cutter knew this. he took it into account, basically; he didnt kill him, he merely improved his brain.
And. Eiffel, after being de-mindcontrolled because of the alien blood, waiting for Jacobi, had accidentily given himself away as being 'unmindcontrolled' when he ran into kepler. he expected to be carted away, re-mindcontrolled, or perhaps killed, or locked in a room, but kepler instead 'played along' and pretended like all was fine. he even sneakily told eiffel to be more careful next time. AND YET WE DIDNT NOTICE- eiffel didnt think to mention 'hey kepler totally let me get off scot free, he is maybe on our side. maybe i mean totally.' ?? and i didnt notice the first time around that THE KEPLER WE KNEW AT THE BEGINNING WOULD TOTALLY RAT HIM OUT INSTANTLY. he was always on their side, and perhaps always planning something. maybe since the interaction with mindcontrolled "she was twenty-eight!" jacobi.
#Should I ramble about jacobi next??#i could ramble abt his arc and also his backstory. his 'before goddard'#kepler is the only one we didnt get a 'before goddard' peek at. we even got like. hilbert. cutter kinda#we didnt get ANYTHING for kepler. i find that facinating.#i imagine he loved his mother. but had to cut her off bc of the job.#enough rambles in the tags-#wolf 359#warren kepler#daniel jacobi#kepcobi#a bit implied-#alana maxwell#marcus cutter#w359#could tag more but. IM SCARED.#wolf 359 spoilers#w359 spoilers#seriously dont read if you havent finished wolf359
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
Cupid loves you - Part1 ♡
HEYYYYYYY yes it seems like im not gonna throw away this project the second I started it hell yeahh!! Anywayyyys I hope you enjoy it! Pleassse let me know your thoughts or if you have any questions i would just love to answer them! And I hope you enjoy! Again I am not a profesional writer or anything like that so if it's kind of shitty I deeply apologise
⋆˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆˚。⋆
"Could I borrow your pencil?"
Literature class wasn't one of your favorite subjects, luckly, we were studying some poetry at the moment, and you just so happen to enjoy reading poetry every now and then.
I noticed my classmate sitting next to me, writting something that caught my attention. The teacher wasn't speaking, and I knew for a fact that it couldn't be any project or anything as such. If you who is reading this can make sense of what I managed to catch with a mere glimpse, perhaps you're smarter than myself. It read:
In my tail said the sun On my throat said the moon In the branches of the laurel tree I saw two naked doves One was the other and both were none
Cupid called for me again. "Sorry! yes of course, here you go" I handed over my pencil. I saw how hers was small, it looked as if she sharpenned it one more time it would cease from existence. We were still in the first week of class, how could a pencil be so worn? Perhaps she writes as a hobby...Or maybe she draws!
"What are you writing?" She closed her notebook, in a quick but clean movement. Turning her eyes to me.
"Nothing important. I just like to write."
"Is it a hobby?"
"Yes, writting words in paper has always been easier for me than speaking them outloud." It seems like you were getting closer, maybe she wasn't the mean girl you originally thought she was, maybe she was just shy and didn't know how to interact with others. At least that's what you thought until the class ended...
"Hey Barbie, think I could get your number?" Roman looked like the most stereotypical, one-dimensional, stupid boy you could ever imagine. He was the kind to smoke in the bathrooms, get in fights, sleep during class, disrespect the teachers... It never really bothered you since you had never spoken to him before, and he didn't seem to have any interest in starting a conversation with you either.
"Unluckly for you I still have standards. Why don't you go feed on some other dead meat? I have better things to do than to be seen around with..." She looked at him up and down. "You."
He was furious, yelling, ready to start a fight. She then grabbed my hand and began walking outside the classroom. It took me some minutes to notice it, but people across the hallways were staring at us, some with fear, other's with admiration. I had no idea why she had picked me as her friend, someone like Roman, despite being an asshole, was much more popular than me, surely he was the better option if this was a matter of reputation.
The light of the windows made her hair shine, everything about her seemed too perfect to be human. She was a sculpture, sculpted with precision, patience and adoration.
When I finally came to my senses, we were back at our dorm.
"Y/N?"
"S-Sorry! I had my head in the clouds haha..."
She got close to me, both of us standing in the middle of the room. She placed her hand on my forehead to check the temperature, but she took longer than expected. She stared at me, in silence, her gaze upon me was soft and warm. She moved the hand that was on my forehead to the side of my head, caressing my hair carefully. I didnt dare speak in that situation, something was keeping me from opening my mouth. Then, I saw her smile.
"Your hair is..." She then took a step back. "Sorry. I must get going now"
You were confused, you had questions, you needed answers! Why did she do that? Yet, you were still. Unable to move.
"I must go now. The cheerleader auditions will begin soon." She walked over to her closet and took out some comfortable sport clothes.
"...You are very welcome to come see me if you'd like. I would very much enjoy your presence."
With those words, she left the dorm, leaving me speechless. At least I was able to move now... Moving on, I tried to forget about the strange behaviour of my friend and instead focuss on something else, something like...Ugh, homework.
I took out my book, notebook and pencilcase. I had an assignment that I had to do by hand because certain teacher didn't like computers and simply couldn't stand a project made in a digital format! I decided to first write a draft in pencil, and once I'm satisfied with it, I will write it on a clean paper with pen.
"Wait, where's my pencil?"
⋆˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆˚。⋆
#oc#oc story#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x oc#yandere girl#yandere wlw#cupid#valentine#cupidcore#coquette#lovecore#yandere x darling#romance#writers on tumblr
39 notes
·
View notes
Note
favourite snape hcs go 🎤
Hiiii
this is gonna take a while cuz I've been waiting for someone to ask this question for so long- so sorry for answering this post after a while lol
ok so.
he hates coffee, but marking and juggling all his work means it's often the only thing keeping him awake, and my man, he likes to take his coffee with enough cream and sugar to kill a small child. for energy, of course.
he likes to sleep. will commit murder if someone disturbs him.
actually likes marking. something about shitting on teenagers calm him down.
sometimes, he'll take out his old essays and go thru them with red ink. no teenager is as fun to shit on as yourself. except perhaps potter.
pan ace. am not accepting arguments
had sex for the first in the early days after graduation and initiation into the death eaters. hated it. very much.
loves physical touch and so, naturally, will make it impossible for anyone to touch him
has the weirdest possible relationship with Lucius malfoy but like, we don't talk about that.
(They are as close as you get to fucking/killing each other without actually fucking/killing each other. Knows each others darkest secrets but still would kill the other to keep themselves alive sort of close)
has a similar relationship with voldy shorts except, with our resident evil it's like, not consensual? Sort of? idk . My man's into tall dark and creepy ok? except in Lucius's case it's tall blonde and rich/ridiculous but. we don't talk about that.
Severus fucking Snape didnt become friends with Lily fucking Evans cuz she was pretty. nope. Twas cuz ma girl was powerful as heck(like him) and, more importantly, a bitch(like him). You are kidding yourself if ya think their friendship was anything other than that.
his relationship with his parents is a toxic one in that there IS some level of care there, but Tobias is too much of a depressed 30 something man to be a good father and Eileen was too much of a proud hag to be a good mother, and Severus was too much like them to be able to deal with their shit.
a huge part of why he used the mental arts so much was cuz he couldn't handle his emotions easily for the longest time, and would burst at the smallest thing. this was the trait that made him such a good target for bullying. the one trait he could never quite get rid of- just hide, under steel walls and scars that opened far too easily.
after lily died, he occluded to the point of magical exhaustion and ended up collapsing. wrecked his body to the point of him not being able to move for months. this was one of the first, and only things he learned to be kind to himself for, and relaxed with his occlumency shields as much as he could. and then voldy returned, and. well.
he is the Slytherin house's hero. not that he understands why. something about the whole, evil, dark, vampire aesthetic was very appealing ya see.
my man wears heels to look taller. not accepting arguments
his whole outfit was carefully planned. 20s Snape had FUN, I tell you. My man spent YEARS cultivating his whole vibe, from the expressions, to the poetry, to the ROBES- perfection, perfection. have you any idea how much he argued with tailors that, no, he actually didn't give a fuck if the robe he wanted was too tight for pockets. what the actual FUCK do you mean.
the buttons have so much history
his eye colour is actually just. gray, but like my man likes the whole vibe of ✨ obsidian ✨ more so. makes sure to stay around dimly lit areas for maximum effect.
he did actually go to school before hogwarts, but like he couldn't control his magic, so my man would bust the lights and flood the bathrooms and make the chairs hit the teachers he didn't like. The AMOUNT of confounding Eileen had to do to distract the town from their magic- worthy of a book series on its own.
I'm ending cuz this is already so longgg. sorry for answering lateee. ilyy 💜💜💜
#this is a mess I'm sorry#there's a part two lmk if y'all want it#severus snape#pro severus snape#snucius#LGBT Snape#snape headcanon#from the ink well#snapedom
54 notes
·
View notes
Note
may I request the different riddlers with a s/o who's a video game developer?
Also unesscary fun fact that I thought was cute and wanted to share:
A group of bunnies is scientifically called a fluffle
no, i think that fact was very necessary, thank you science side of tumblr
also im assuming you want some headcanons :) p.s. you didnt specify which riddlers you wanted so i just chose four <3 i hope thats okay!
note: feel free to reblog! just please give credit where credit is due :)
Riddlers w/ a GameDeveloper!S/O
BTAS!Riddler:
youre a game dev?! he is too!
....or rather he was.
ideally hes the best riddler to be with if youre a game developer. equal parts knowledgeable, helpful and caring
at first, he may see you as perhaps a rival, but if youre together, hes all for helping you out with whatever you need!
he unfortunately never got to see his own game "the riddle of the minotaur" come to fruition, so he may want to be more involved than what you would like
that game belongs to the both of you now, sorry
he adores that you have the same passions as him. but unlike his own past, he will see to it that NOTHING stops you from developing your game
just say the word and he will have your game downloaded onto every computer in all of gotham, the big simp 💕
Arkham!Riddler:
what would you like to know?
this man was the head of the GCPD's cyber crime unit, im sure he would be able to answer ANY question you could possibly have
these days he comes off as a guy who couldnt be bothered to help you create a childish game... buy hey, he loves you and isnt that what he technically does all day anyways? you just have to add in the possibility of actually dying to his games
he ends up helping you in his free time ❤
how could he resist? his darling needs his help coding and coding is his second language!
he acts very "put out" with you at first. throwing in the occasional insult because thats just how he talks when hes trying to explain something to someone
he is proud though! never will you ever hear him say it but he truly is. maybe you and he could incorporate some of his malware for the good people of gotham...
Dano!Riddler:
helping you with your game is his second job now! even if hes not getting paid
its no secret that this riddler would be a giant simp, so anything you ask of him, he will deliver 😍
in between his job as a forensics accountant and also being the riddler, he will always find time to check in on your progress. do you need help? do you need him to check your code? do you want something to drink? okay! hell just be over your shoulder if you need anything 😊
he will patiently explain to you how to do something the best he can. computers are really just a second nature to him, so having to explain it isnt exactly a familiar thing to him. bear with him!
he will be the first one to play your game!
no matter how easy your game is to him, he sees it as his obligation to support you in any way he can. whether your game is for a phone, pc or whatever, hes keeping it on his device forever
he would give you lots of praise and he also makes sure you know how amazing he thinks you are
Capullo!Riddler:
this asshole may not care at first that youre working on a game... that is until he realizes you could join forces to bring gotham to its knees
sure! he loves you! but this eddie is a narcissist and a control freak (more than the other riddlers)
he is right there with you in developing your game
he insists that you make him your partner in all of this. he also insists that he create the basic premise of the challenges your game has.
your game is required to be intellectually challenging! its a must! no S/O of his will create something that caters to the simple-minded!
and maybe you could also let him install a few viruses and malware?
he doesnt mean to sabotage your game! hes just thinking of your common goals. why not create a game that also eradicates those who are unworthy to live in your city?
he calls the game "our baby" 😊
#riddler#the riddler#capullo riddler#dano riddler#arkham riddler#bats riddler#riddler x reader#the riddler x reader#riddler headcanons#the riddler headcanons#zero year riddler#zero year riddler x reader#dano riddler x reader#btas riddler x reader#arkham riddler x reader#edward nygma#edward nygma x reader#edward nashton#edward nashton x reader
148 notes
·
View notes
Text
Mention of suicidal thoughts, heavy angst. Unedited and un beta’d. 1k. Milgram. Characters Mahiru and Kotoko.
“Kotoko..” Mahiru smile softly, clasping the other woman’s hands with a care that startles kotoko. “Are you hurt? Your hands look sore.”
Kotoko flinches backwards, although mahiru doesn’t seem to notice. “What..?” Kotoko rasps, pulling her hands away as if she’d been burned. “Why are you asking me this?” She desperately searches mahiru’s expression, trying to find anything but the compassion that sits clearly on the blonde woman’s face. She fails. How can this woman be so altruistic? Kotoko.. she’d hurt her. Almost killed her.
“Ah, sorry!” Mahiru’s face reddens, giggling in a self deprecating manner. “You probably don’t want me touching you.. not after what I’ve done.” Kotoko can only stare silently in shock. After.. what she’d done..? Yes, mahiru had been voted guilty, and yes, kotoko had given her a deserving punishment, but.. Kotoko still doesn’t quite know what it is mahiru was supposed to have done. Perhaps she could use this to interrogate her..
“What you did?” Kotoko returns to her usual harsh expression, burying any sympathy she might have had for the other woman. “What *did* you do? Obviously murder, but i want the specifics. Why were you voted guilty?”
Mahiru finally pulls her hands back from where she’d been fussing over kotoko. She jolts harshly at the mention of murder. At the last word, *guilty*, Mahiru starts to tear up.
“I..” She wipes her eyes, her fingers catching on her bandages, “I loved him. I love him. I.. didnt think..” she takes a great heaving breath, “that he.. would do such a thing.” Mahiru’s eyes widen fractionally, “he, he knows i ove him, right? He has to!” Her breathing has picked up. Kotoko watches the other woman as she begins to break down, forcing herself to feel no sympathy for a murderer.
“I didnt ask if you loved him.” Kotoko’s voice cuts through Mahiru’s hiccuping sobs with an almost clinical precision. “I asked what you did. You killed.. him.” Kotoko carefully rolls the question as she speaks, making sure to mention this mysterious ‘him’, Mahiru’s now deceased boyfriend assumingly.
“I.. I..” Mahiru stutters, gulping harshly. “I’d.. never kill him. But.. i guess i did. I, i didnt want to! My love.. must have been to much for him to bare..” She stares at her hands, slowly bringing them to her lips. Her hands cover her mouth as she pales rapidly.
“Too much for him to bare?” Kotoko interjects, her voice hard and cold. “He didnt want to be with you, so you killed him? How pathetic.” Kotoko can barely get her last word out as mahiru scream sobs.
“NO..! I, i didnt!” Mahiru’s heaving, grasping at her hair as she sways in her wheelchair. “He..! He killed himself..!”
Kotoko stills. This.. was unexpected. Ah, but she couldn’t let the mad woman sway her mind, she must have killed him directly, she must have. Otherwise.. did that mean kotoko was wrong in her judgement? No, kotoko is right. This woman must deserve to die.
“Hah, you expect me to believe that? Theres no way-“ Kotoko gets cut off. Mahiru has thrown herself out of her wheelchair, lunging at kotoko.
“You’re wrong! You’re wrong you’re wrong you’re wrong!” Mahiru clutches at herself from her position on the floor, desperately trying to pull herself together. “I, i woke up, and..” she sobs. “We were meant to do it together..! Why..?” Another harsh sob escapes her, “Why didn’t he wait for me?!”
Kotoko.. doesn’t know how to react. ‘Together’..? Surely she didn’t mean what kotoko thought she was implying, right? If she does.. shit, was it murder? Or was it a desperate woman thinking this is what was required in order to be loved..? She.. didn’t even kill him. Not directly, at least, and she seems genuinely distraught. Maybe it was a coincidence that mahiru was here instead of her deceased boyfriend. Maybe.. maybe one night longer and mahiru wouldn’t have been here either.
Kotoko can’t help but see herself in the woman layed sobbing at her feet. She, too, only does what she thinks, no, knows is right. Was Mahiru acting in a similar way?
Despite how she’s been acting, kotoko isn’t heartless. She slowly kneels next the hysterical woman, carefully placing a hand on her shoulder. She attempts to guide mahiru back into her chair.
“..Stop it. Stop trying to make me pity you.”
Mahiru flinches yet again, but allows herself to be manoeuvred back in her wheelchair. She weakly grabs on to kotoko when she tries to leave her.
“Kotoko..” Mahiru sniffs, trying to pull herself together. “Are you hurt..?”
Kotoko freezes. What? Why was she asking *again*? Why now? What was she planning? Kotoko grits her teeth, but stops as mahiru grabs at her.
“No. I dot need pity from a weakling like you.” Kotoko glares down, attempting to keep her anger in her expression. Mahiru sniffs quietly once more, before shakily letting go of the taller woman’s sleeve.
“Ah.. I see.. You dont need me either.” Mahiru’s gaze is blank, almost unnervingly so. “..are you going to finish the job, then..?” She lifts her head, making weak eye contact with the vigilante. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying, snot and tears crusting on her face. She waits expectantly.
Kotoko doesn’t move.
..what? Was this woman *asking* for kotoko to kill her? The taller woman turns sharply and leaves the room, leaving the door to the cell wide open. She won’t give this *murderer* the gift of mercy. Of killing her quickly. She’ll let the woman sit with her injuries. Let her regret ever *trying* to make Kotoko -sympathise- pity her.
Now alone, Mahiru watches the entryway quietly. She’s exhausted from the conversation, if it can even be called that. What was she supposed to say? Maybe she should have just agreed, to make kotoko feel better, instead of sobbing like a baby. It was her fault anyway. Kotoko was right. It’s Mahiru’s fault he’s dead. She killed him, after all. She deserves whatever punishment is given to her.
23 notes
·
View notes
Text
i remember discussing with my friend if rebecca was really the blushing virgin that everyone in the fandom makes her out to be. at the time i just shrugged it off and said yes, because i didn't know much about her character (not that there is much anyway.) but after thinking about it, my opinion's changed a bit. so here's my random opinions about rebecca.
incoming airstrike: incoherent rambling.
initially i felt like rebecca was only really put into the first game to be jill's opposite, and also i guess to make it even and put a girl on the other team.
i haven't played RE 0 (and with the complaints i probably won't..) but she isn't exactly squealing and blushing whenever billy looks her way - if anything, billy is more of a flirt. maybe him giving her all these cute nicknames is just in his nature? or perhaps he just really likes her. who knows!
you could argue that everyone on her team died and she's going through this hellish nightmare on her first mission - so why on earth would she have goo-goo eyes over some inmate who supposedly slaughtered 23 people?! haha, i love analyzing these guys.
rebecca isn't afraid to put anyone in their place, she demands respect, "but that's officer chambers to you", "and dont call me little girl!" one thing i love about these lines is how it's delivered, she isn't stomping her feet and throwing a tantrum. she keeps her soft tone and says it sharply! i wish people saw her as spunkier and dominant, rather than an innocent, helpless baby.
suprisingly, she doesn't fall for chris either. i mean can you blame me for expecting her to? he's protecting her throughout the game and vice versa. she's tired and scared but atleast she has chris to lean onto. that's the perfect set up for a predictable (one-sided) romance. the same arguement could be made - she's tired, and got thrusted into another nightmare, she doesn't have time to be flustered over chris..
something that's a little odd but rebecca has respect for chris in the sense that she refers to him as "sir", when she doesn't even do that for enrico. though, im sure its because she's familiar with enrico, but not chris.
she's oddly professional for her age, but no one in the fandom gives her credit for it— and yes i know it's probably because she's a child prodigy, so perhaps she had to grow up quicker? i assume she was around adults much older than herself. ( ≧ᗜ≦) !!!
i know it's common for people to call her a tomboy because "girl + short hair = tomboy" (sarcasm). though, if i'm being honest, i never saw her as one. rebecca (and jill) are just girls, they can't really be placed into boxes - they're not clichés. you see the duality with rebecca loving basketball but also being a chemist? i LOVE that so much. she's in this male-dominated field with an age that still end in -teen.
rebecca is described as "androgynous" in her uniform and while i agree to some extent i don't really like that word too much, because it implies that jill's uniform isnt androgynous when i think that it is.. so what because jill's chest is prominent she can't be androgynous too? hmph, it always left a bitter taste in my mouth.
also i really love that she's wearing makeup in 0, it's her first mission and she's all dolled up 笑笑笑笑笑 but they stopped using ayumi's model and i guess wanted to rework her face.
this isn't meant to disprove or bash that very popular ship "rebilly" by the way! do i ship it? not quite, sorry but i dont ship anything besides myself and a certain bioterrorist えへへへへへへへへ
the novel, caliban cove, portrays her as your typical teenage girl. she gets embarrassed a lot, blushes at the slightest contact, etc etc. it's not canon though, so i didnt bother to mention it.
i haven't discussed this either but i'd like to see discussions about her sexuality, nothing is confirmed but options are always open (ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ.゚
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Marcosabo smoking together its a thing they do
Marco only says it once like, that shitll kill you yoi
And sabo looks up from where hes lit his own cigarette with a snap of his fingers
He looks awful, huge dark circles under his eyes, theyre deep purple and bruised looking, his cheeks hollower than usual and his scar looks particularly mottled and pronounced when cast in the light of the cherry red tip
He shrugs and exhales a thin stream of smoke through his nose “its comforting.” Is all he has to say, mumbles around the filter
Marco gets it. Being a man of flames himself, the Phoenix whets the effects and burns away the impurities, he wonders if the mera mera functions in a similar way, Ace never was the smoking type so he never thought to ask
“You should find better comforts” Marco replies
Sabo doesnt look at him, focusing on something far out in the distance on the sunset horizon from where they stand on the ocean torn cliffs together
Its quiet for a long while, the sound of night critters and crickets singing and chirping, the gentle whip of weather aged fabric fluttering beside them, Sabo brushes a hand over the sun warmed stone, stone that remained warm even on the coldest nights, bare fingers tracing the carved letters of his deceased childhood couldve been—
“Like what.” Its not a question or a demand or anything really.
“A hobby perhaps.” Marco suggests and Sabo smiles, lips curving into something a little mean and a little sardonic “I went out of my way and made the time to visit you on this shitty little island and all you have to say to me is get a hobby?”
“What would you rather have me say?” Marco turns to look at him properly, its their first eye contact since Sabo arrived with his bag of tributes, flowers of course. White roses, sake and a prayer for Newgate, and pink hibiscus, orange firelilies and sunflowers; for Ace.
Sabo says nothing continues to sink his fingertips into the grooves of the letter A and bites down harshly on the filter of his smoke.
“Marco I want you to ask me to stay.” Marco changes his voice, altering it deeper and accenting it in that infuriatingly posh and mocking tone that he often adopts when mimicking Sabos voice
“You know I cant.” Sabo says quietly, feels the heat of his burnt down cigarette dangerously close to his lips, he doesnt care though, if he closes his eyes he can pretend.
“Then what about when its all over?” Marco doesnt sound hopeful
“When its all over? Id be lucky to even be alive when its all over.” He doesnt usually do bleak, but Sabo doesnt expect to see the future hes been fighting so hard for
Marco heaves a great sigh, it comes from his belly and leaves his mouth ashy and smoky.
“I don’t particularly cope well with loss.”
Sabo flinches. Draws his fingers away from Ace’s headstone sharply and looks away. Guilt sinking sharp claws into his stomach and tearing him open from the inside.
Of all the foolish and tactless things he couldve said.
“I dont think this is working out for us.” Is what he says instead.
Instead of sorry
Instead of i didnt mean it
Instead of i love you, i want to come home to you
Marco remains quiet, its too dark now with the sun having fully set a few minutes prior, to figure out what exactly his expression had changed to.
“You made time just so you could break up with me?”
It’s a little ludicrous, when spoken aloud like that.
“This isnt love.” Sabo rasps, that tiny blip of heat sitting just on the tip of his tongue now, he’s tired, its always hard coming here.
“Couldve fooled me.” Marco drawls, his tone betrays nothing but theres a difference in the way he says me, he steps closer regardless.
Sabo cant exactly see him now, refuses to ignite to sate his curiosity, just his general silhouette because the moon tonight is new and the island of Sphinx is very quiet and very dark.
“Here.” Marco proves a personal hypothesis— the phoenix has some kind of night vision— because Sabo has no other theory to explain when Marco finds his hand with ease, threads their fingers together with familiarity, “at least spend the night.”
Before i leave you and this place forever. Sabo doesnt vocalise this.
“And let you have the opening to convince me?” Sabo doesnt pull away
“Im not beneath begging.” Marco replies and Sabo watches his silhouette move, that half cigarette gets flicked off the side of the cliff with a smart snap of the phoenixes wrist
“Then beg.” Sabo whispers through a mouthful of ash and blood, snarling because Marco will beg, when he doesnt have to and Sabo will stay and see in him what Ace always had and loved and will continue to
#marcosabo#WAH!!!!?#xam writes#WAAAAJ!????#WAAAAAAAHHH 🥺?#marco will beg on his knees head tipped back because sabo has yanked his head back by the grip he has on his hair#his expression furious because he has the audacity to love—to even want someone#hhh
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
When The Cameras Are Off (Vox X Siren)
finally guys romantic shit is happening with Vox and Siren/ popstar reader :p
Fancy "business" lunches and outings with the TV overlord became a regular occurrence. You didn't mind it. He argued that it was to keep you under wraps and ensure you didn't speak out of line to the press. Although you argued that's what the collateral was for but who were u to know business.
The expensive food ordered by the billionaire overlord was nice too, he was offering it so it would be rude not to right? That was the only reason you continued to agree to them and totally not because something about him was only charming. Come to think of it, for being in hell and for Vox being the most narcissistic, greedy capitalist man you ever could meet... He looked out for you.
Obliviously it was because you were a money-maker in his company right? You for some reason refused to believe he would do anything for a genuine reason, there had to be some scheme right?
That's what Vox tried to convince himself of too. That he did all this and kept you in his eyesight at all times just to make sure you wouldn't run away because you made him so much money. Because Vox would double-die before he would admit that your pure charm, your unnatural kindness has lured him in. That you did indeed charm him. No, he had too much pride to admit that.
Everyone else could see though. Velvet was pissed because it was her who signed your contract. Her who you reported to yet you spent almost every waking hour next to Vox. And Velvet knew there was only one maybe two other people Vox had ever obsessed over like this...
Alastor
Days passed and Val picked up on it too. He mainly noticed because he was getting less attention obviously. "Carino don't tell me you're in love with our new pet over there." He asked a slight hiss in his voice as his eyes narrowed. Vox glitched slightly. "Don't you dare say that of course not, like you said she's just a pet... That for some reason you guys didn't get to sign a soul contract so someone needs to keep her in line" he growls. Val rolled his eyes exhaling red smoke from his cigarette "Whatever you say" Vox was ready to walk out and as far away from Val as demonly possible when Velvet came storming in. "So much for "handling" her Vox god fucking dammit"
"What do you mean?" He asks. "Look!" She casts her phone screen to all the devices in the room including Voxs face. A feed of posts scrolls through. Sinners willing to give up their souls to the Siren. Sinners praising the siren feeling sorry for her after a story published about apparently she saved two low-class demons from loan sharks in THEIR DISTRICT?!
Demons from all over the Pentagram wanted you to be an overlord, her fans, her little sailors, posting how they would willingly and happy to sign a soul contract with her if it meant being under her protection.
This Was Bad
Voxs screen glitched, red dead pixels appearing on his screen. He had to find you, and now. Perhaps he could use that leverage, not yet though he thought. He couldn't show his full hand yet. He just needed to scare you that's all. He was angry, so angry that sinners trusted you. That they wanted to be on your side and not the vees. Was he jealous? He would never admit it if he was. Was he feeling betrayed, that you could take all that they had built of course not the Vee empire was unbreakable. There was a twinge of doubt though. He zapped through all the cameras looking for you pinpointing the location of your phone and such. You were sitting nice and pretty in the apartment HE gave you. In a blink, he's there materialized in your living room making you jolt in surprise.
"What the FUCK KIND OF STUNT DID YOU PULL THIS MORNING," he said calmly. (l o l sorry had to)
"I- how did you- I im sorry I. I didnt know it was in your district and she just looked so helpless, she reminded me about something that happened to me when I was alive and- i- I don't wanna be an overlord Vox, Sir. I promise you I would never try and overthrow your power-" you start rambling, words rushing out of your mouth to try and save you from the looming overlord.
Sparks of electricity buuzzed around him as you could see him seething with anger. "Velvette is going to try her best to suppress this but if you so much as breathe out of line like this again, you're as good as double dead. Are we clear dollface?" he states, closing in on you. The way he spoke and the proximity triggered something in your subconscious, something that reminded you of Him. So you swallowed, a stray tear moving down your face as you nod.
"Good you see your so good at following directions doll. Why don't I send the chefs over here to make you dinner, you shouldn't leave the apartment anyway since those paparazzi will be going crazy right?" he cooed, holding your chin in his hands. The touch making you flinch before you feel the same buzz of his electronic body as you had before. Your feelings are conflicted, you cant quite read him, you don't know if he somewhere in his hellish soul cares, or if he's the mastermind. Only time will tell. You stay tense nodding again to the best of your ability with your cheeks being squished by his claws. He lets go.
"Wonderful, doll you pick what you want and they'll be here in a zap"
Your mind is spinning as everything is happening, this man is so bipolar you cant get a beat on him. Hes ushering all these other demons in as they crowd in your apartment, its overwhelming. All the voices, people and noises of the table being set. You realize that Vox apparently isn't going anywhere and has invite himself to dinner, hurray for you, you guess.
Your favorite meal has been prepared courtesy of Vox Industries budget as you sit down across from the Mr CEO himself.
"May I ask Vox why are you still here?" he looks up at you and stares for a second making you uneasy. "I mean not that it's a bad thing I was just thinking you probably have much more important things to do like run the greatest tech company in all of hell right? like why would you be causally eating here with me." you laugh nervously.
"well I guess even I have somehow been lured by the sirens charm then haven't I, because that would be the only reason your immune to my magic." he mumbles the last part.
"huh?" you ask, the distance between you two at the table not being enough to mask the end of his words. When Vox realizes this his pixelated eyes widen.
"Nothing dollface take the compliment I dont give them often. Especally to sinners who pulls stunts like you did this morning. But I am a very kind boss and forgive you since your not activly planning on overthrowing the vees." he chuckles, his tone slightly unhinged as you see him grasp his fork tighter.
"Your right you dont have to worry about me... " You trail off still processing what Vox said. You wonder if you actually heard it, maybe you made it up. Who knows.
Eventually Vox turns to leave. "Well doll don't go causing anymore trouble til the next time I see you." He sighs. "Of course sir, wouldnt dream of it"
"like I said before just call me Vox" he retorts. "Right goodnight Vox"
"Goodnight Siren" and with that he zaps away.
(ok I don't remember writing thing I don't remember this existing.... So have it l o l .
Pt 6 pt 8
19 notes
·
View notes
Note
it’s fishie anon and I have yet another minific idea that will I will also be requesting as a bot when they are open again :3
user/reader and kazuha smoke together, but for some reason user/reader gets overwhelmed due to how much stuffs they accidentally smoked and regresses bc of it, so kazuha gets to play babysitter/cg for his tiny while they’re both probably zooted out of their noggins
🐠
this is going to be so silly. nothing but giggles between user/reader and kaz (´-ω-`) ill try and make a bot based on it for my next bot batch but have a minific for now <3
(sorry if none of this feels very accurate. i have never smoked before and am going based off of stories ive heard from friends σ^_^;)
Kazuha had invited you over to smoke and relax for the evening, knowing your week had been stressful. It wasnt uncommon to find you two high, but you always only smoked what you knew you could handle. You both knew your limits and never pushed them... Usually.
"y/n? Hellooo?" Kazuha waved his hand in front of your face. Your eyes were so red and glazed over, a sight Kazuha hadnt exactly expected so soon from you. "Wakey wakey~ You cant be spacing out just yet, silly."
You felt Kazuha try and sit you up a bit better, resulting in a whine coming from you. It definitely confused Kazuha for a moment. He blinked at you before starting to realize something was off with you. Your mind was feeling fuzzy, both from the weed and from the regression settling in.
"Hm.. Are youu... Little?" Kazuha tried to guess, smiling slightly as he thought about trying to care for you right now. "Aw, you did, didnt you? Thats okay! That just means nap time will be easier, right?" He tried to keep his tone light and playful, seeing your slightly pouty face.
You whined at him again, not entirely sure why but you definitely knew you needed something. Your regressed mind wasnt exactly the best at understanding your bodily cues.
"Shh, youre okayy.." Kazuha shushed as he gently ruffled your hair. "Want a snack? Maybe a lil snack will help the whiny babyy~" He added in a sing-song tone, excitedly moving to the snacks you two had brought out prior to smoking.
Kazuha rummaged through the snacks for a moment before frowning slightly. He couldnt find a snack he deemed 'baby appropriate'. He may be high, but he wanted to be the best caregiver for you right now.
"Wait right here for a moment, bud." Kazuha gently said to you before he got up. He shuffled his way over towards the kitchen area, taking a moment to find your bottle and filling it up with juice. He had to take it slow to make sure he didnt spill anything.
"Here we are~" Kazuha proudly sat back down with you and help the bottle up to your face. "A yummy bottle for a grumpy baby, hehe-" He helped you get settled on his lap, holding the bottle as you lazily drank from it. He felt so much more dotting towards you while he was high.
Kazuha cooed at you as you drank, finding the state you were in quite adorable. His comments seemed to make you giggle somewhat. Your laughter sounded sleepy, but Kazuha didnt mind. He was just happy you seemed happy.
"Youre such a high baby right now, arent you? Yeah, you smoked too much too quickly~" Kazuha continued to tease you. It didnt take long before he found himself relaxing with you in his lap as well, his eyelids feeling heavier. You let out a big yawn, startling yourself slightly as you were still drinking your juice.
"Perhaps baby and Kazuha should take a nap.." Kazuha mumbled, taking the bottle away from your mouth. He lazily grabbed a blanket and pulled it over the two of you, rubbing your back to help you settle slightly. "Nap time~"
#i hope this sounds okay. i did not proof read and wrote this quickly during class TT#sfw interaction only#genshin agere#agere genshin#🐠anon
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
scuse me i gotta go be embarrassing under the cut brb 🚶
@cosmiccoincidence @felix-the-lemon-king well FUCK ok hi lol 👋
so like images from the engtwst translation that altered my brain forever:
so like. 🧍🙈 URGHGHHHG lol. felix u may have heard some of or all of this tangent before in the dms LOL but
my attempt at long story short: friend and i were into twst well before engtwst came out, so when we saw the official translation translated cater's "leona-kun" to "leona, sweetheart," we were like 🤨sweetheart?🤨🤨🤨 jkslajKLDJL like ik it's a casual thing meant here but. however. you see LOL
longer details: me being how i am as a person™, i let this fester in the back of my brain and it gradually grew out of control. i dont like. theyre not a pair i think of when i think of My Cater Ships. HOWEVER as i do with most leona potential ships(???) they read as exes to me here JSDLFG like. me with my soap opera lenses on [they are never off. sorry.] has me running wild w/this like leona/cater having A Thing of some undefined nature like maybe last year. tapping into cater's implied vibes of not always letting people get super close / used to kinda keeping things surface level and making the most of Being In The Moment and less concerned about making lasting ties bc hes used to stuff not lasting from his moving around etc etc whatever. like cater and leona starting off w/ a bond of just quietly being in each others space [i mean caters a chatterbox LOL im thinkin those rare moments where hes like mask off kinda lethargic or something. caycays such an interesting character w/a lotta mystery in that regard but i do NOT have time to get into that so just!!! bear with me LOL JFKLSDJF]
anyway i feel like i recycle the same plotlines with characters/ocs forever but thats just too bad: cater+ leona bonding somehow dont worry about it. idk leonas a spelldrive star and caters really good at flying so They Could Bond -> somehow falling into like a Casual Lowkey Relationship where theyre like 'we arent DATING dating, no labels and mostly just hang out when no one's around but Something Undefined is happening here. they kiss or whatever lol -> they emphasize w/e they have is strictly casual and 'doesnt mean anything' -> perhaps cater emphasized the 'doesnt mean anything' part more idk -> some forbidden feelings kinda spark anyway but one or both of em are just kinda. ignoring/denying it lol -> ive had a specific image in my brain for a Long Time of like. cater kissing lion boy. then being like ✌️its ok, its just for fun dont worry doesnt mean anything ✌️ -> and like its a mutual neutral feeling At First but like eventually i think their Situation falls apart for one reason or another and theres Tension
^i said takes place the year before the game starts but i think i also had it in my mind toying w/the idea of it as like a SUMMER FLING/ROMANCE(?) that ended RIGHT BEFORE school started. or idk maybe it ended right before they got out for break. WHATEVER.
point is those screenshots are from book 2 which is still pretty early on in the school year so ive got the vibe of like "oh things are still awkward between them, the 'breakup' is still relatively fresh, and leona feels bitter about it and is playing extra hardball with these guys and also harshly teasing them about it bc caters there and hes Emotional but taking it out sports style" lol. and supplementing that Specific Image In My Head^ i imagine in that convo in the screenshots w/cay being like 😔leona sweetheart plz chill😔 leona would just be like 😒well. it 'Doesnt Mean Anything' so whats the problem here 😌 😒
anyway. you maybe didnt really ask for the extra headcanon au lore whatever details but i gave them to you anyway LOL my LeoCay Messy Breakup AU. but i ALSO just like drawing them together bc cay is my fave and fun to draw, and leona is Also fun to draw 😔 my fave character cay + character i have been dragged kicking and screaming to kind of respect over time KLJFSDKLJFL every time leona says or does something that makes me think hes cool or smart i get SO MAD about it. seething at book 6 LOL SJDKLFJD twst with their damn complex characters making me Think Deeply 😒 and then i steal their deep blorbos and put them in my funny little barbie dreamhouse soap opera recycled romance drama plotline loop forever and ever and ev
ahem. so yea on the surface. pair that probs would never ever work out HOWEVER it's MY mind palace and i can make up whatever silly rules i want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#leocay#literally sat here head in my hands irl for a few seconds bc i was so embarrassed typing all this LOL had 2 pause and recollect myself#still gonna tag it tho. i have to desensitize myself 💪#twisted wonderland#cater diamond#leona kingscholar#twst#cereal tries to draw#if the readmore doesnt work im committing crimes. but usually it works after i edit and re-add it lol#i have a lot of cay ships bc cay is a fave character and#i cant help but put my fave blorbos through the 'everyone should love u' machine#listen not everything is about shipping however i simply Enjoy It#it is FUN#<- me defending myself when literally no one is challenging me lol#SORRY it's 1am im Getting Scared lol#its the danger hour the Big Emotions time lol time for BED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i had to in the future come edit and add leocay tag bc i can never find this damn post when im looking for it
43 notes
·
View notes
Note
Prompt for story: Before the Long Night, Sansa and Gilly talk about supplies (and the lack of it) while Little Sam plays in the background. Gilly notices Sansa's quiet sadness while she was gazing at Little Sam, they talk about Little Sam and Sansa's dream for children (and how it could never be for her). Gilly picks Sam up and asks Sansa if she wants to hold him.
Sam and Jon come back to the solar and sees how happy Sansa is while holding Little Sam on her arms. Jon moves toward her and unconsciously holds her waist while caressing Little Sam's ankles. Gilly and Sam look at them in understanding.
Make me cry with this prompt, thank you!!!
oh i LOVED this prompt.
sorry i did change it just a tiny bit. once i started writing it just kind of came naturally, so i didnt realize id messed up what you really asked. i hope you enjoy it anyways!!!
send me prompts
When the knocks sounds on her door, she looks up from behind her desk, calling for them to enter as she sets aside the scroll she’s been reading. To her surprise, it is not Lord Royce nor any other Northern lord come to call, but rather it is the woman she knows to be called Gilly. In her arms she carries her young son, Sam was his name, apologetically smiling when the boy lets out a cheerful cry at the sight of the new face. “My lady,” she greets, setting her son at her feet as she comes to stand before the desk. “Lord Royce sent me to deliver a message to you.”
Truth was, Gilly has been trying to find any way to be helpful during this time- she cannot do much of anything beyond cooking or mending, but she was determined to help in any way she could. Even if that left her to be a messenger. “And the message?” Sansa asks, pushing back from her desk so she might stand upright. Blue eyes cannot help but to flicker to the baby on the floor, now on his hands and knees, perhaps thinking he might crawl further into the room he’s never been in before.
“He says there’s just enough grain to last another few weeks, with the new arrivals.” Gilly repeats the words the old man had spoken to her just a few minutes before. She watches as something like darkness crosses over the Stark woman’s face, her beauty icy cold as she comes to stand on the other side of the desk, closer to her. “He also said for you not to worry,” she continues and Sansa lets out a soft laugh, shaking her head as she shifts her gaze from Gilly back to the baby who has now crawled halfway across the room. She also notices there is almost something like sadness there in those blue eyes, perhaps even regret. “I’m sorry, my lady, let me…” But Sansa is shaking her head, surprising Gilly when she crosses the room to reach down and lift the baby into her arms, cooing at him as only a mother might do. Gilly is even more surprised to see her son’s reaction- almost at once the baby is babbling, smiling, giggling back at the icy cold Lady of Winterfell. But, now that Gilly watches, she can see that cold exterior melting away.
“Lord Royce means well, but I cannot help but to worry,” Sansa murmurs aloud as she turns back to face Gilly, who glances down at the floor, not used to being looked at so directly by someone so far above her station. “My people are the ones who will suffer from this,” she’s thinking of the commonfolk, the ones not even yet come to Winterfell, the ones who would likely be dead when all of this was over. Chills race the length of her spine and for a long moment she closes her eyes. When she opens them again, she finds the child’s mother to be looking back at her, soft brown eyes uncertain in their gaze. “Your son is quite sweet,” she says, steering the conversation elsewhere, one hand reaching up so she might touch the downy soft hair upon his little head.
“He is taken with you, my lady,” Gilly speaks truthfully, for the child was still yet staring up at her with a gummy grin. “You look as if you are meant to do this,” for a moment, there comes that quiet sadness once more, darkening her blue eyes as she smiles down at the baby, one little hand wrapped tightly around her finger. “I’m sorry, my lady, I only meant…”
“No, it’s alright,” Sansa replies with a smile for the mother instead. “I did once long to be a mother,” she admits, speaking freely in front of this woman as she’s never spoken to anyone before. “I loved having little brothers and a sister to look after,” she will never forget the warm weight of Rickon in her arms when he was but a baby no bigger than little Sam. And to think he now rotted in the ground in the crypts. “He is a sweet boy, you are lucky to have him.” She smiles for Gilly this time, a smile which brightens those blue eyes that stare back at her.
For a few minutes they make small talk, but Sansa cannot bring herself to give the baby up. His weight is warm and soft in her arms, reminding her of days long gone, reminding her of a life she probably would never get back. It is a soft pain, a dull ache, something she knows she will live with until the end of her days.
When the door opens quite unceremoniously, Gilly turns with surprise, eyes wide at the thought of someone barging in like this upon the Lady of Winterfell. But then she sees who it is, it is Jon Snow with her own Sam close at his heels, looking uncomfortable about entering a room without so much as a knock.
Jon can’t take his eyes off of the sight of her there, baby in her arms. It is a fitting look, one which even he can recall from their childhood days, when Rickon had been more like her baby than her mother’s. And then he’d grown up just enough that he would cling to her skirts in the courtyard as Robb and he wrestled in the mud. He feels the familiar sense of longing, the pang of anguish that those days were long gone, never to come back again. “He likes you,” Jon observes as he falls into place beside her, his arm reaching around her waist all so he might feel the warmth of her against him. “Little Sam, are you going to be her new friend?” He asks the baby as he caresses the baby’s soft skin, exposed where his gown was riding up around his ankles. The baby smiles and giggles in response, rocking excitedly in Sansa’s arms.
From where she watches, Gilly can’t help but to visualize them as a happy family, a baby with Stark features wrapped in the lady’s arms. “Bring him again to visit me, won’t you?” Sansa asks as she reluctantly passes the baby back to his mother. Gilly happily nods, shifting the baby carefully as she turns to go, Sam at her side. “Bye bye, little Sam,” she calls out when they reach the door, just before the door swings closed.
And when Gilly turns back to look, she swears she sees Sansa falling into Jon’s arms.
#jonsa#actuallyjonsa#jon x sansa#my writing#i wrote this#anon prompts#writing prompts#send me prompts
48 notes
·
View notes