#sorry chat it's been...a lot

[must-be-mythtaken]

the usual mountain goats odes to Making It are not enough I'm Branching Out

[duckdodger]

WHO LET BRO WEAR AN APPLE JACKS SHIRT TO THE TRANSFORMER ONE PREMIERE 😭✋✋⁉️

[jays-supersonic-dynamo]

movie lloyd blahaj :)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

[Based on a group chat (I was Wen Ning)]

Congratulations to everyone who graduated recently, or is soon to graduate!!!

[cryptile]

It's hard to stay mad at octokittens and their constant chaos when they're just so adorable

[eddis-not-eeddis]

How To Stop Killing Conversations

Talking is hard. People are confusing. Making friends is difficult, and interacting with coworkers is tortuous.

You want to make friends, you want to reach out, but it's hard and every time you start a conversation it dies, or limps along until both you and the person you're talking to are looking for excuses to kill it and put it out of it's misery so you can both escape the increasingly awkward situation.

As an introvert who has suffered a lot of social anxiety in my time, let me share a few tricks I've learned over the years going through hundreds and thousands of excruciatingly painful conversations until I found something that works. I've kind of distilled the process.

ALWAYS ASK A QUESTION!!!

The first thing is to always leave your partner an opening. You need to let each other talk for a conversation to get off the ground, but it's more than that, really. You need to actively encourage each other to talk. The best way to do that is to ask questions.

Here are two examples of an introduction: Example A

You: Hello.

Them: Hello.

You: Nice to meet you.

Them: Nice to meet you too.

Example B

Y: Hello, nice to meet you, how are you? T: I’m doing well, yourself?

Y: I've been really well. How are you liking the weather?

T: I'm so happy the weather's finally getting cooler, I'm looking forward to pumpkin spice season. Do you like lattes?

Do you see how in Example A the conversation wasn’t going anywhere? It just kinda died, because there weren’t any openings for new topics, whereas in Example B, there were openings to keep the conversation going.

But what do you do if your conversation partner is as socially inept as you were two minutes ago and doesn't play along? All is not lost.

Example C

Y: Hello, so nice to meet you, how have you been doing?

T: I'm doing well.

Y: That's great, are you enjoying the nice weather, then?

T: Yeah. I'm glad it's finally fall, I'm looking forward to pumpkin spice lattes.

Y: I love pumpkin spice lattes! Pumpkin spice anything, really. I recently got the best pumpkin spice candle at the shop down the road, have you been there?

Even if they don't leave you an opening, you can usually make one. It may be difficult, especially when they don't give you much to work with. This is where having a go-to script is a life-saver--me, I always default to talking about the weather, so when in doubt, you can do that.* The important thing right now is to keep fostering the conversation, so once you bring up the weather, segue into a question. When they answer the question, make a brief comment or observation from your own experience and build off of that comment or observation to ask another question.

"But I don't want to make it about me. Doing that's bad, right?"

This is why that questions are important. If you haven't been asked a question, you kinda have to make it about you, you don't have a choice. But to keep from being an attention hog, follow up your shared experience or anecdote with another question.

Example D

T: I love pumpkin spice lattes

Y: Me too. I had the best pumpkin spice latte the other day at the cafe down the road, have you ever been there?

Now you've circled the conversation back around to them again, and you aren't taking the limelight. Sharing an experience is so important, you're trying to show that you understand, that you sympathize, that you relate.**

This really is the most important element of being a good conversationalist. You have to keep asking questions.

The one other thing I will touch on is introductions. DO NOT get into turn based combat.

Example E

Y: Hello

T: Hello

Y: Nice to meet you

T: Nice to meet you too.

Y: How are you doing?

T: I'm fine. You?

Y: Me too.

This will kill any possibility of continuing a conversation. Instead, get it all out of the way all at once, if at all possible.

Example F

Y: Hi, it's nice to meet you, how are you doing?

This is good, but this is better

Example G

Y: Hi, nice to meet you, how are you liking the weather?

Don't ask how they are doing, or if you do, before they can answer, follow it up with your placeholder (weather etc.) so they have to say some thing like

Example H

T: I'm fine, and I'm really liking the weather.

or

T: Not so great, the weather sucks.

Either of those options are much easier to work with than your basic "I'm fine."

Usually, if you can get past the introduction, you can get a conversation going. And then, even if you don't end up hitting it off with the person you're talking with, you at least don't leave the conversation feeling like you've died a thousand tiny deaths.

In fact, if you get past that introduction, you may have just made yourself a friend.

Remember folks, basically everyone around you is more afraid of you than you are of them, and in this benighted age no one has been taught conversation skills, so we are all pretty much in the same boat. (Unless you were born an extrovert, in which case we are all deeply envious and would probably kill you if we didn't need you in our sad and lonely lives so much.)

Have grace for one another, and for yourselves because talking with people is difficult.

Go forth, and stop killing conversations.

*If you are one of those awful people who likes to brag about how you hate small talk and only want to talk about important and meaningful things, I have one question: Do you ever have a conversation that lasts long enough to become meaningful? I thought not. Small talk is an important skill. Develop it.

**This is how you deal with sad or difficult situations too. When you want to show you sympathize with someone going through a hard time.

Example:

Y: How are you doing?

T: Not very well. My dog died last week.

Y: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. My own dog died last year and I still miss her a lot. How are you handling it?

Now you've circled the conversation back around to them again. You aren't making it about you.

If y'all want, next time I can share how to extricate yourself from a conversation.

[tizzymcwizzy]

a collection of sketches of my favorite guys!

[milesofstars]

After spending so much time around Kokichi, do you reckon Shuichi would pick up some of his traits? Ofc not the obsessive lying but when comfortable he mirrors his laugh or even becomes a little more playful, just to a lesser annoying state than Kokichi does.

i think he would absolutely pick up some of his mannerisms... for better or for worse! maybe a few little lies but hes honestly not very confident with it

we do a little trolling

and we do a little giggling

[a-cat-in-toffee]

@gracklinging-electricboogalo your girlfreak because i think about her all the time

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Fake Xavier fans when they wanna see him young & w hair. Anti bald ageist propaganda smdh 😔 that OLD MAN is a WHORE and if you wanna get rough with him grab him by the jaw and USE HIM!!!!!!!

Sorry I got really passionate there... I love him

Yk what its ok. Youre forgiven. Just be nice with my grandpa ok ………

[cbdinodoodlez]

hi guys i finished lining and coloring these guys not too long after posting the sketches but then i exploded for like 2 days bc i couldn't get Greaseball's colors right but it's ok it worked out [I think]

i think new production supa sillaay!!! i'm doing the coaches next YAYAYAY

[flowerakatsuka]

Do you have a fave hesokuri au or skit au and have you kuroba’d them 👀

HI EVAN, THANK YOU SM FOR THE ASK!!! 😊✨

and yes, i do!! a few actually, heh. i've talked a little bit about the youkai & denki mystery aus i have for kuroba before and i really love those, but i think my favorite might actually be their royalty / prince au. which i haven't really talked about before so uh. i hope you don't mind, but i'm gonna use this as a excuse to ramble about it.

i'll put my infodumping under a cut bc it might get long, but here's their designs for the au. 🤭

SO. kuroba comes from a commoner household, but because their grandfather was the royal gardener to the matsuno family and they acted as his apprentice, they've basically lived their entire life on the castle grounds in spite of their status. they've gotten to meet and come to befriend quite a few people of a higher social status than them, the most notable being the 2nd prince of the matsuno royal family, karamatsu.

they first met as children, when karamatsu ran away from his caretakers to hide in the gardens and cry by himself. kuroba had been helping with cleaning up the rose beds that day and stumbled upon him. they've always been the meddling type and can't leave others alone when they're upset so they sat with him and tried to comfort him to the best of their ability, ( even if it was just providing him company and a hand to squeeze while he cried. ) after that, karamatsu became very curious about kuroba and would often visit the gardens in the hopes of spending time with them. the two became very close over time, with him following them around the gardens as they worked and running to them whenever he needed a shoulder to cry on ( which they were always happy to provide. )

they're still very close as adults despite some things changing, like karamatsu adopting a more flashy personality to stand out more amongst his brothers and kuroba taking over their grandfather's role as royal gardener. a lot of the things stayed the same, though.

however, their close friendship starts posing some issues within the royal counsel. one of the princes having such an intimate relationship ( and obvious infatuation ) with a commoner is unsightly in the eyes of the nobility and could make them question the integrity & stability of the crown. so iyami, ( who's a sketchy noble adviser to king matsuzou, ) proposes that karamatsu be engaged to duchess dobusu to help quell the rumors going around about kuroba and him. matsuzou agrees and even though he tries to protest it, kara eventually agrees to go along with it for the sake of his family and kuroba.

when karamatsu tells them the news, kuroba takes it pretty well and congratulates him with a smile... or at least, that's the reaction he gets out of them. in reality, they're fucking devastated because they've been harboring feelings for him for years at that point. they already accepted the fact that they could never be together, but that doesn't make the reality of the situation hurt any less. still, they want to support karamatsu and be happy for them so they're taking the truth about their feelings for him to the grave. ( that's what they planned on doing, at least. )

they slowly drift apart after that ; karamatsu's visits to the gardens become less frequent, kuroba stops personally delivering fresh arrangments to karamatsu's quarters, they barely even greet each other when crossing paths. it doesn't help that iyami got into kuroba's ear, warning them that they should keep their distance from kara to preserve his reputation and not lose their job — which they really can't afford as the main breadwinner for their family. neither of them are happy with how things have changed, but there's not much they can do about it.

as karamatsu and dobusu's engagement party draws closer and kuroba has to help with the decorations, their discontent really bubbles to the surface. one of their noble friends, ( i haven't decided who yet lol, ) finds them crying and tries to comfort them, eventually convincing them to sneak into the party and dance with kara so they at least have one unforgettable memory of him to hold onto. with their help, they manage to do it with their identity hidden behind a mask.

things seem to go off without a hitch ; they'll be able to have to moment with karamatsu all for themself and basically no one will be the wiser. that is until they slip up and speak while dancing with him. they start to leave when he almost says their name, but he stops them and gives them the pine-shaped brooch he was wearing before letting them slip away. to make matters worse, iyami sees this all go down.

the events after that are a lot less plotted out, but i imagine some standard historical fantasy romance webtoon bullshit going down. like karamatsu trying to confront kuroba about that night, but them telling him to stop and leave them be. it's be some wild melodrama, which i do kinda live for.

the climax would probably be iyami staging some villainess-esque condemnation event to expose kuroba for sneaking into the party and get them kicked out of the castle. but queen matsuyo and some of the nobles kuroba had befriended come to their rescue. basically, they argue that if there's someone who's willing to be with karamatsu's annoying ass, then why would you force him onto someone else? none of the other nobles want him, please let kuroba have him so they don't have to deal with him. this includes dobusu, who agrees to give the royal family her duchy's support if they break off her engagement with karamatsu and let kuroba take him off her hands. so after getting matsuzou's approval, they live happily ever after theeeeeee end. there's probably other factors that could play into them getting together at the end, but yeah.

anyways thank you for coming to my rambling, i am so sorry it got this long. this is one of the aus i've thought about A LOT so i ended up having a lot to say. 😭

[skibasyndrome]

.

[fishyfarms]

Happy August month to August specifically :) also to the three people who followed me after seeing buff August art I see you I support you so much here’s a little doodle…as a treat!

[fly-sky-high-arts]

I do want to talk about sharing art online from the perspective of a hobby freelancer but before that I'll just toss this tidbit I mentioned on my main

Reblogs are not numbers. Reblogs are meant to share and pass on artwork that someone may like. NO ONE is forced to reblog anything BUT it is a core of engagement in a space like tumblr. Engagement is what brings in interest after all and it's one piece of what makes it important for freelance artists here.

When you look at the numbers and the notes, we need to stop viewing them and comparing them with likes (me included) or total in general. It doesn't help.

Artists do self rebloging to both show or remind folks they've done some work as well as to nudge people to reblog their stuff. Tags are nice and comments in them are a nice way to engage too but passing on the work, especially to help someone to get noticed, is a good way to just work the site as intended.

It will always be about luck because we can't guess who wants to engage with what online. You also can't blame yourselves for this. Don't use the internet mentality of "content" (eugh!) and "flopping" and go about it that way. People find stuff I drew years back and find ways to engage with it now. It's really about luck.

There are things that can help but I'll go about it in another post.

One more thing. Don't be shy about "shilling". Advertise your open commissions, your patreons or ko-fis. I promise it has nothing to do with how big of an artist you are. Remember that you're doing that within your own zone so "bothering" followers is hardly the case, it's your house. Make a tag for it if it helps your mind. I say as someone with social anxiety.

[jingledbells]

I think the beauty of queerness is the nuance. when I was introduced to gender and romance and all that I thought only boys could like girls and vice versa and there were only two genders. but then I learned that there’s much more beyond that, that you can love whoever you want and you don’t have to be just a boy or a girl. I believe that when it comes to gender, the sky is the limit. by saying that there’s what you can’t be gender wise, I feel like it defeats the purpose and eliminates the purpose of genderqueerness to begin with. saying that someone ‘can’t use xenogenders because they’re invalid’ feels very wrong to me. who are you to tell someone that they’re gender can’t be what they want it to ? I don’t think there’s any identity that exists or that anyone can make up that is ‘invalid’. because gender can be whatever you want it to be, and saying that it cannot and there’s a limit reminds me of people saying there’s only two genders. because there’s so much nuance and infinite ways for one to explore one’s gender, and that’s the beauty of it all !!