#sorry captain i love you but i know you deserved it lol

[hoodienanami]

Tell us some facts about The Clash that would make the average punk on here hurl 👀👀 pretty please I love all that juicy old drama

LMAO i dont have anything actually super bad bc overall the clash was a band made up of nice decent guys....tho i do have a nice picture of paul simonon in an ss uniform (that features some marxist badges on it the same way the sex pistols' anarchy shirts had marx on one side and a swastika on the other)

the picture is for an interview in sounds magazine btw. speaking of that sounds magazine interview, i like this bit of it

Some people think Bernie used you as a political mouthpiece. That reminds me of once when I was talking to Viv of the Slits and it was the time that Malcolm was doing something with them and we were talking about being Malcolm's puppets. She just said, 'At Least it's better than being Rhodes' puppets'. Bernie never told us what to say. He just told us to stop singing songs like 'She's Sitting At The Party'. He said toss that fucking song out of the repertoire, write something else. It was great to meet him. Along comes this guy who says "Think about what you're doing, have something worth taking out there. Don't just shamble out there". And it was great… we don't really have a relationship like that with him anymore . . . still, everything changes. But is there still a mutual trading of respect? Yeah, on good days. On bad days, there ain't much of anything. How do you feel now about the treatment of you as a working-class hero? Do you think it was a fair representation? Yeah, I do. Well, you certainly don't come from any poverty-stricken background. Yeah, but it's not where you come from. It's where you've been, what you've been through. If you just stood on your own two legs, do it that way, then it don't matter where you come from 'cos you learn all the lessons and you get wise, just 'cos you have to, to survive. Songs like 'White Riot' were written walking along the street in my head…endlessly. (x)

what i like about this interview is that is shows how well spoken and intelligent joe was. its also is a rare case of him readily admitting in an interview that hes not working class and yet consciously represents himself as such

joe strummer was a man from a wealthy background and a good education who pretended to be working class for creditably. i dont think badly of him for doing this and i dont think it makes him a bad person. i just acknowledge that its a thing he did. personally i think hes got a good point about it being your life experiences that truly makes you who you are and how you were raised is only part of that. but i also think that fans of joe and the clash should know that hes not the working class hero he hinged most of his brand on being

(also for those wondering who bernie is: thats the clash's manager. weird guy. very politically active. you can read more about his relationship with joe here)

i think its important to say that i have nothing against the clash. i like to give them a hard time but its out of love. theyre one of my favorite bands and i love reading about them. what i dont love is the obsessive mythologization and lionization of them that leads to the obscuring and twisting of the truth

by ironing out all of the stuff that doesnt fit the myth of the clash or the myth of joe strummer, we dont just loose the truth! we loose part of what makes the clash such a fascinating and impactful band!

[yourfatherlucifer]

Extraterrestrial (JYH)

Alien!Yunho x afab!reader

Summary: Your ship is on the brink of being forever lost in the galaxy, but when a monster invades your ship to top it all off, his plans for you are a cause for concern.

Warnings: SMUT MDNI, egg preg, alienxhuman sex, rough and mean Yunho, dead husband San, monster cock, tall ass Yunho

AU: Alien/Space

Genre: Smut

WC: 2.2k

Tags: For @potatomountain because I know you’ve been struggling lately, so I hope you can enjoy this with all your might. You deserve this. I love you, friend. This is longest I’ve written in so long..lol

Nets: @newworldnet

The rapid beeping of the ship was so overwhelming, the red lights were flashing in warning. The shaking was so powerful. If only you didn’t run into that asteroid belt earlier from running from a pirate space ship. With your crew still in cryogenic states, you could only handle this on your own.

You were the captain after all, the expert in the technology. Of course, you could’ve awoken your second in command but you didn’t want to bother them. The process was a painstaking one anyway.

The rattling was beginning to get annoying as you tried to do everything you could, “Dammit, come on!” You smacked the control panel, clearly getting frustrated.

There wasn’t another planet for several light years and that was so agitating. There was nowhere to stop to repair your ship. Even the hull was damaged, you were sure something fell off from the collision.

You were scared to death that your ship would explode and you’d never make it home. This expedition was supposed to save you from your dying planet to find a new one.

You reached down to kiss the photo necklace wrapped around your neck. It was of your dead husband, San. He was an astronaut explorer as well. But his ship was lost and he never made it back home. You could only assume he was dead. It’s been a year after all. So you took this mission upon yourself, in hopes of finding him or a new planet for your human population to live on. You wanted to make your husband proud.

“I’m so sorry, Sannie, I’ve failed us both and our planet.” A tear fell down your cheeks as your fist collided against the console in frustration.

A flash passed by your ship but you didn’t even notice, too busy focusing on your impending death.

The beep stopped abruptly which made you look around confused, “The hell..?”

A couple of chittering sounds caught your attention and you spun around, only to be met with an eight foot tall hunched over alien. He..if it was a he, was beautiful. With his tanned skin and green scales, he looked almost human. If it wasn’t for the scales and tentacles coming out of his back and his ridiculously long legs, you would’ve thought it was someone from your crew.

So, how’d it get in?

“What..what do you want?” You backed up into the console, clearly confused and scared.

Was he here to eat you? To steal from you? Just what-

His face softened up with a smile, “I’m not going to eat you, so you can stop thinking about it. I’m not going to steal from you either.”

“Then what is it you want? I don’t have anything else to offer.” You crossed your arms over your chest, still not sure of his intentions.

“Well, I have a proposition for you, human.” His long legs carried him over to you, from there you could see his beautiful green eyes and somehow handsome face.

You’d never seen an alien up close, of course, back on earth, there was always talk of extraterrestrials but never any appearing despite the very popular pop culture of alien invasions. Even with the planet dying, there was none.

“Well, I’ll fix your ship for you. But.”

“But?”

“Let me impregnate you with my eggs. It’s my species mating season and unfortunately for me. I’m away from my planet and you’re the only near species I can copulate with. I have to get these eggs out or it’s painful for me. I’m not about to waste them either.” His eyes scanned your body, clear with interest.

“If I agree, you will one hundred percent fix my ship?” You had to admit, he was far too attractive to deny his offer.

“Yes, and I don’t break my promises. I’m desperate and you’re definitely the perfect specimen.”

You shrugged your shoulders and slipped off your shirt, “Alright, I don’t see why not then.”

He grinned in relief, watching as your breasts bounced in their final confines, “Perfect.”

He walked even closer, grabbing you by the hips and lifting you with ease to set you on the ships console, “I will warn you, I’m nothing like the human men you can have intercourse with. I’m far bigger. I might just break you.”

You licked your lips in excitement, “I don’t mind, the bigger the better.” You joked, trying to ease the tension.

“You say that, until I’ve fucked you full with my children.” He grabbed the strings of his loin cloth and it fell to the floor.

Your eyes widened at the sheer size of his length, he wasn’t lying. This was the biggest cock you’ve seen, probably even the prettiest. It couldn’t even compare to your deceased husbands cock. Even though he was big for your species. But this alien, was massive.

He looked like measured to at least 10 inches, if not more. The girth was crazy as well. Green scales lined the thick and spined base. Just like some spots on his body.

“Um..wow…” you were in complete shock, unable to tear your eyes away, until you felt something thick and slimy pull your head back up to face him. It was one of his tentacles.

“My name is Yunho. That is what you will scream as I breed you, got it?” His voice became stern and it was so attractive, you could feel yourself becoming a waterfall below.

Yunho growled as his nose turned up to sniff the air, “I can smell you human, your cunt is excreting such a sweet scent. I must ravage you.”

You whimpered with his words, “Please, tear me apart. I want to feel you.”

“Be patient, human. You’ll get it.” His fingers wrapped around the hem of your pants and yanked them down, along with your soaked underwear. He threw them to the captain's chair behind him and groaned in the new exposure of your scent.

Yunho’s face dove to the source, his tongue licking up a stripe between your folds. Gathering your slick on his wet appendage. He moaned in the flavor, “Oh, human. You have no idea how I’m going to ruin you. You will search the galaxy for me after I’m done with you.” His teeth sunk into the plush of your inner thighs, “You will continue to search for the same feeling I’m going to give you. And only will I return to collect my kin.”

You could only whine in response, tugging onto his black hair.

“You are nothing but a breedable toy for me. Nothing more, nothing less, do you understand that?”

“Yes, yes!”

His tongue encircled your weeping hole and prodded at your walls, he was enjoying this far too much. Your human sounds were delightful to his ears.

“Yunho!” You cried out when he moved away from your cunt to your thigh once again, planting his teeth into the skin. You could only assume this was his way of marking his mate.

“What are you?” You whined as he pulled away.

“I will never tell you my species name. I will not let you find me until I need to find you. This is a one in a change opportunity, hush before I change my mind.” Yunho’s eyes flashed over, warning you with ill intent, “I will not hesitate to leave you and your ship stranded.” He was mean but you loved it.

He eventually lost interest in eating your cunt out and moved his tentacle to replace his tongue instead. It was slightly thinner than his massive cock, so it must be used to prep you.

As it slowly slid inside, Yunho had stood up, pulling your hips closer to his to the point his cock rested against your abdomen. It was so big that it reached the valley of your breasts. Just how was he going to fit without rearranging your organs?

He watched as his tentacle slowly sank in, he could barely feel how you pulled him in. However he could feel just how tight you were. That was going to be a problem. So maybe two tentacles would have to stretch you out for him.

He groaned in thought, he didn’t expect having to do so much work for a human cunt to fit him and his eggs.

“Come on, stop being so tight, human.” Yunho’s grip only tightened as his tentacle tried to slither in further.

Once that one was settled in, another snaked around from his back all the way to your occupied cunt. It pushed its way in, causing your mouth to fall open in a silent scream.

“That’s more like it.” Yunho’s large hand reached to cup your breast while he felt your cunt loosen around him, “Soon I’ll be able to breed you.”

“I don’t care, just fuck me, Yunho, please!”

Yunho shrugged, “If you insist.” His two tentacles began pumping in and out, the sloshing sounds of your cunts arousal and the excrement excreting from his tentacles didn’t help.

He held you tight to his chest because you could barely sit up straight with the way he was fucking into you. It was even his cock yet and he had you weak.

You weren’t used to being so packed. Just the two tentacles combined were bigger than your husband's cock when he used to make love to you.

“Stop thinking of that human man. I’m the one fucking you. Get him out of your head.” He growled in warning.

“I can’t just erase my husband’s memory!”

Since the image wasn’t disappearing from your head, Yunho bit between your shoulder and neck, “I won’t tell you again.”

“Fine!” You tried to focus on the way his tentacles fucked in unison only for them to pull out and get replaced by his monster size cock instead.

This time a scream fell out of your throat, he was so big. Far too big. You could feel him ripping you apart from the inside. Even the bulge in your stomach from him was painful, but felt too good at the same time.

His hips slammed against yours with each thrust. The console creaked in protest.

Yunho’s grip was so tight that it was nearly painful but you didn’t care, not when your senses were dulling from the way his cock buried itself deep within your wet cavern.

“Yunho!” You cried out. He was being very rough with you. He manhandled you all the way to captains chair, planting himself in the seat.

He made your legs straddle him. You didn’t know how you were going to ride him, not with how weak you felt, “Come on, human, you can do it.”

You whimpered as you sunk yourself back down, legs shaking in protest.

Yunho grinned as he watched you struggle to take him, “Don’t be pathetic, I know you can do it.”

Your hands gripped his shoulders as you repeatedly fucked yourself on him, “It hurts so good.”

His free hand squeezed the bulge each time it appeared on your stomach. He was making it worse but you assume he did this to get it over with. You were sure it wasn’t pleasant for him to fuck a human much smaller than his alien form.

As you reached your nth orgasm, tears were flowing down your cheeks, how hadn’t he cum yet? Why weren’t you filled yet?

“You’ll get it soon, be patient, human. You’re so eager to carry my children.” This had him smirking. He wanted to ruin you.

His hips thrusted up to match your pace and help you along, “Doing so well, little human.” His reached back to grip your hair and yank it backwards, exposing more neck to him.

Yunho marked your neck with more bites and bruises, marking his territory for any other aliens passing by or anyone that invades this ship while he’s gone, awaiting for his children’s birth.

Once his thrusted started slowing down, that’s when you knew he was near. His cock began enlarging and your eyes widened in shock, “Oh fuck, Yunho!”

He stopped your movements and waited as his eggs flowed out his cock and into your cunt, all the way to your womb, “That’s right..take it all. Like the good human mother you will be.” His hand rubbed your stomach as it began swelling with several of his eggs.

He was proud. Very proud and felt relieved. Yunho we finally free of his pain and relieved for the future of his bloodline.

“My perfect breedable toy.” Once his cock returned to normal size, he slowly pulled out, watching as you became breathless. Nearly doubling over.

“So full..” you whined, holding your stomach with such care.

“Good.” He stood up and rested you where he once sat, “I’m going to leave now. I’ll repair your ship on my way out. I’ll return in a few earth months. Your pregnancy won’t be as long as the normal human one.”

You looked ethereal but he wasn’t going to stick around, not when his use for you was over.

“Yunho..” Your breasts were in pain, already trying to accommodate the eggs inside of you.

“Don’t do anything to my eggs while I’m gone, or I’ll destroy everything.” Yunho’s eyes narrowed, making his way to the exit.

“I won’t..”

“Good. Farewell human, await my return.”

[penkura]

You have no idea how happy I am to finally find someone who writes for penguin 😭 he’s so fucking handsome and I love him sm!

Anyways onto my request, could you write a scenario with Law, Penguin, Zoro, and whoever else you’d like, of reader being hit on and then protecting her?

Thank you so much I am obsessed with your writing 😭💛

Yesss more love for Penguin!! He deserves it so much, omg, he's so good!

I've never been hit on before to my knowledge, so I'm just winging it here, but aahhh protective men. <3 I decided to add Shachi to this since he's started working his way into my circle of blorbos, so this my first time writing him in a romantic light lol. I hope you like it!

I'm sorry this took me SO LONG TO DO AAHH. I got back from vacation and life took over again.

Law

Law understands fully that his crew needs time off the Polar Tang every now and then, and that most of the time, that leads to everyone taking over a tavern when you dock, drinking their cares away while he watches to ensure no one does anything stupid. After the one time a fight broke out because Penguin unknowingly hit on the bar owner’s wife was enough, your captain keeps a close watch to cut off anyone who needs to stop before they do something to get you all in another fight.

Still, he has no problems letting you all have some time to relax and unwind, enjoy some drinks and the bad karaoke some of your crewmates partake in, as long as he keeps an eye on you specifically, Law is totally fine with the bar crawls that happen. He isn’t watching you because he doesn’t trust you, it’s the opposite. He trusts you more than anyone else on the crew, that’s why he watches you so closely when you’re out, to make sure you stay safe. There’s too many people out there, men and women, that are willing to lie or take advantage of you to get to him, Law understands that very well.

None of it has to do with the tiny little secret crush your captain has on you, nope. Not at all.

It has nothing everything to do with the guy flirting with you at the bar, it’s definitely not the reason his grip on his glass is so tight to the point you could hear a slight crack. Law can tell you aren’t entirely comfortable, by the nervous smile you have on your face as you inch back a little at a time, but the guy doesn’t seem to get the hint, moving closer, with a drunk grin on his face. Law doesn’t step in right away, just watching to make sure you’re safe. The second you let on that you feel unsafe, or the guy makes the wrong move, he’ll intervene. He has to keep his crewmates safe, small crush or not.

It's not even a minute later when the man puts a hand on your thigh, causing you to stiffen up, that you see the familiar blue from Law’s Room, and suddenly you’re sat in his lap as the drunkard jumps up when you disappear. Law’s arm wraps around your waist as the other guy looks around for you, too drunk to notice where you’ve been placed before he downs his own drink and asks for another, your captain almost sighing relief that he seems to be ignoring your sudden disappearance now.

“Uh, captain…?”

It takes just a moment for Law to realize you’re still in his lap, but he doesn’t bother to push you off or anything, not when he catches the eyes of another patron on you, instead pulling you a bit closer.

“Just stay here. I can keep those drunk idiots off you.”

You feel a bit weird sitting on his lap, but still nod, thankful Law watches out for you all.

You may have to talk to him later though, based on how touchy he seems to be while he keeps you with him, but that can wait. You’ll enjoy it while you can.

~~

Penguin

Penguin trusts you, sometimes he thinks more than he trusts Law and Shachi. He knows that no matter how many people try to flirt with or hit on you, you aren’t leaving his side. You two have been through far too much for you to even think about leaving Penguin at this point, and he does recognize that.

It still doesn’t help the pang he feels in his chest when someone starts to flirt with you, even thought you never reciprocate and instead bring up your boyfriend in retaliation. Most of the time that makes people back off, usually with a dejected look at the fact you’re already taken, and appear to be happily so. Rarely do people try to push and tell you to just forget about him, and when they do, it makes you angry enough to start yelling at them about how awful they are for trying to make you give up the best thing to ever happen to you, it never fails to make Penguin blush and give you all the love and affection in the world later.

Still, this time, he feels like you’ve bitten off more than you can chew. An older man flirts with you at the bar, but you of course aren’t interested, making that apparent as you sit with her chin in your hand and barely respond. He doesn’t seem to get that you have no interest in him, even when you say you’ve got a wonderful boyfriend that you’re madly in love with. When you get up to leave, the guy grabs your arm and tells you to forget Penguin, which just makes you mad and your boyfriend quickly gets up to try and stop you from doing anything to get you thrown out.

“Excuse me?! I’m not gonna just ‘forget him’! He’s the love of my life, he’s been with me for years!! You’re insane if you think I’m going to just leave him because you think I’m easy or something! And another thing, I—”

“Okay, that’s enough!” Penguin hooks his arms under yours, lifting you up as you keep yelling and start kicking your legs, he gives a nervous smile to the man and the bartender, “Sorry about her! My girlfriend gets a little angry when she’s had too much to drink! Come on, sweetheart, let’s get back to the hotel~”

Even though you agree, the whole walk there you complain to Penguin about the man that was hitting on you, how he couldn’t take no for an answer, and it makes your boyfriend sigh with a smile.

He’s always the one to pull you from starting a fight, he doesn’t have to protect you most of the time, but he’s always glad to pull you away before you hurt someone.

~~

Shachi

Shachi knows, he knows, that you and Sanji are just friends. You’ve been friends since you were children, your moms were best friends, you and the blond were just very close and spent a lot of your time playing together back then. You’ve told him, multiple times, that Sanji’s flirting with you is a joke, he’s never had romantic feelings for you and vice versa, you’ve always viewed him as a brother.

He just can’t help it and ends up giving Sanji the slightest of glares every time your dear friend flirts with you, even as you laugh and shove his arm, it doesn’t really help your boyfriend in feeling less jealous about it. Does he feel bad about it? Most of the time, yes, but he still ends up putting an arm around your shoulders and either ignoring Sanji’s comments or glaring at him to the point your best friend feels a little awkward.

Shachi is just very protective of you, even about Sanji. He trusts you, but he doesn’t want someone to steal you away and you’re the best thing to happen to him in recent years. You notice it quickly, when Sanji takes glances from you to Shachi and back, so you smile and tell him that Nami could probably use his company, which always gets your friend to throw his flirting and heart eyes to the true object of his affection, and Sanji runs off to her. You feel Shachi physically relax, still keeping his arm around your shoulders though, as you look up at him.

“Shach. He’s my best friend.”

“I know, I just…I’m sorry…”

“No need to be sorry,” you give him a quick kiss that makes Shachi bury his face in your shoulder and wrap his other arm around your waist in a hug, “Just trust me, okay? I love Sanji like a brother, but I love you.”

Shachi nods, telling you he loves you too, and feeling so grateful he has such an understanding girlfriend. He doesn’t feel like he deserves you sometimes.

He tries to not let Sanji’s joking flirting get to him after that, but it can be hard for him at times. At least you know it’s just because he loves you and doesn’t want to lose you.

~~

Zoro

Zoro has never worried about you being hit on by others. You rarely ever reciprocate, only if you really are interested, and that’s only because your swordsman has yet to make a move on you.  Literally everyone around you can see the fact you both have feelings for each other, but neither of you wants to ruin your friendship, so you’ve not even tried to say or do anything to change your status.

So when he sees other bar patrons flirting with you, Zoro doesn’t do much apart from keep an eye on you. He knows he has no real right to, but he’s always ready to jump up and help you if needed, keeping his free hand on his swords just in case someone gets a little too friendly with you. There have been a few times he’s almost jumped up and helped you, but you’ve been able to shake off the people flirting with or touching you easily, normally saying you’d get them another drink but never going back. They’re normally too drunk to notice anyway as you sneak back to your crewmates.

That normally works, but tonight, it seems the man who’s attention you’ve grabbed is a little more stubborn than others. He sits closer than anyone else has, and keeps touching you, even as you remove his hands from you or shrug him off, he still does it. The man has no sense of personal space or your rejection of his touches, it makes Zoro grip his swords a little tighter as he watches. He really wishes he could just go over, tell the guy you’re his, and get you away from him. So at first he doesn’t, Zoro knows you can handle yourself well enough to stop anyone that make you feel uncomfortable, you’re not his partner either, you can do as you please.

But the second he sees the guy’s hand move further up your thigh and you almost seem to freeze, he’s up and by you in a second, pulling you out of your seat and behind him, sending a harsh glare to the patron that dared touch you without your consent.

“She pushed your hands off multiple times, how much does it take for you to get the hint?!”

“Hey man, she—”

“Leave my girl alone or you’re dealing with me next time.”

Zoro doesn’t wait for a response and takes your hand, leading you over to where the rest of your crew is still seated, placing you beside him and not letting go of your hand, even when you try to bring it up. None of them say anything either at first, until Sanji smirks just a bit.

“So…‘your girl’, huh?”

“Another word and I’ll tell Luffy the combination to the fridge lock.”

Even as they all laugh at the horrified look on Sanji’s face, you smile and look at Zoro, mouthing a ‘thank you’ when he looks back to you, before he holds your hand a little bit tighter with a nod.

You could’ve easily thrown the pervert that was touching you to the ground, Zoro even knows that, but he wouldn’t miss the chance to prove how important you are to him and that he can protect you from anything. Not like you needed him to show you that though.

[takavasen]

Tumblr dashboard in Night Vale simulator

🧪homo-genius

Today's science fact:

Spiders have an open blood circulation system, which means they do not have veins and their blood is different from the blood of mammals. Unfortunately many healthcare professionals do not know this, which can lead to improper methods in...

Read more

🎙️voice_of_night_vale

Spiders are a valuable part of our community and deserve good healthcare.

But more importantly, I want everyone to know that Carlos the Scientist made this post, he is my husband and I love him very much! 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

🪬a-thousand-fingernails Follow

Cecil everyone knows you and Carlos are married and most of us are happy for you but you don't need to tell this in every post you make

🎙️voice_of_night_vale

Wait have I mentioned it before?

809 notes

⭐sheriffofallarts

Hah saw some loser (@ marble-eyes) bring the same girl (@ mountainbeliever343 I think, couldn't see her face clearly from the cameras) home for the third time this week lol

cmon just say you are girlfriends already dont be shy

💎marble-eyes Follow

Hey you can't just share private information like that!! And besides that is not true, I haven't brought anyone home for a long time, I don't have time for that anymore!!!

🟡secretly-in-your-home

No. I can confirm that what Sam said is true. I was there. I am always there. Also, I put the rest of your cereal to your washing machine. They have been in the cupboard for a while now, I thought they were getting quite dusty and needed cleaning.

31 notes

🏀basketballpalmer Follow

We had an another great season with @nvwheelchairbasketball team again! Thank you everyone, it's an honor to be the captain of the team! See you guys next season <3

👍wallabyyy Follow

Aaaaa congratulations! I miss you guyssss

43 notes

☀️prophet-of-smiling-god

I just had the most delightful date with the most gorgeous theologist in Desert Bluffs Too!!! We had a lovely dinner at my house (some eyeball salad, mushed tarantulas and fried human fingers), watched some movies and of course made sure to serve our great Smiling God by making each other as happy as possible!! Unfortunately Charles said that it would make him unhappy if I shared the details, but I can confidently say that I have never been more joyful!!

🦷smiling-mayor Follow

Kevin, you missed a service in the Temple of Joy because of this. Surely you would remember doing that for an old friend, wouldn't you? 😊

☀️prophet-of-smiling-god

Oh, Lauren, of course I wouldn't ignore anything like that on purpose, you know how much I love tolerating you!!

98 notes

🪽not-an-angel Follow

Does anyone happen to have 10 bucks?

You can send them here: absolutely-not-a-scam-link

🌟erikaaaaaaa Follow

Does anyone happen to have 10 bucks?

You can send them here: absolutely-not-a-scam-link

💵ex-vanston Follow

Does anyone happen to have 10 bucks?

You can send them here: absolutely-not-a-scam-link

💡erika-the-black-one Follow

Does anyone happen to have 10 bucks?

You can send them here: absolutely-not-a-scam-link

3 notes

😎violentfootstool-deactivated20230416

Hey guys, so I just spoke to the new scientist lady and found out I don't actually have three pairs of arms. The lower two were just robot limbs that I tried out when I was seven years old and forgot to take them off. So hows your day ://

🔬janet-lubelle

I am always happy to help with explaining your problems away.

🎀tinfoilforteeth

Hey bitch how is it going under the cow

754 notes

🎙️voice-of-night-vale

Alright, I'm going to say it. Steve Carlsberg does NOT know how to be a basketball coach. He knows nothing about any game structures, and he only allows one ball per game!! He talks too loud, except when you can't hear him. It will be ALL HIS FAULT if we end up losing this season!!!!!

🌠lines-in-the-sky Follow

:(

🎙️voice-of-night-vale

For everyone who finds this post now: I made this many years ago. Things have changed a lot. I'm very sorry, Steve. I couldn't hope for a better brother-in-law. You are my best friend, and I was the irrational one in this situation.

I have changed the way I look at people. I will not treat them the same way I used to treat Steve anymore.

1,642 notes

🎙️voice-of-night-vale

Alright, who let Susan Willman be in charge of anything? She is the absolute worst at making desicions, like, who asks an obelisk its NAME? She had an oppoturnity to ask almost anything, and that's what she chose?? She better stay away from our way for at least seven decades, and keep her "Huntokar"-nonsense with herself!!!

11 notes

[vodika-vibes]

Absolutely forgot about your new event! Congrats on the five hundred follower count vod'ika! I may send in a few, but for this oneI'm going with my birth stone, clone husband, and fave season <3

May I have Garnet with Rex in summer, where maybe he spots reader (fem or gn!) looking extremely uncomfortable from unwanted attention (nothing inherentlyuncomfortble in terms of sexually harassing or being violent, but just highly intimidating) when it's dusk? And Rex shoos the person away?

Hero

Summary: Rex’s favorite part of the day is when he’s able to pull away from his work to spend time with his girl. He’s not so impressed, though, when he goes to find her and sees her getting threatened by someone nearly a foot taller than her.

Pairing: Captain Rex x F!Reader

Word Count: 658

Prompt: Garnet - Protective Love

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: Thank you! I hope you like this story. Protective Love is hard while having a word count limit, lol, but I hope you like it anyway~

This is his favorite part of the day.

His idiots, and he calls them that with all of the love in his heart, have been released to go and get drunk or whatever it is that they do with their free time. And he’s finally able to leave the barracks to go and meet up with his girl.

It’s hot and miserable outside, which means they’ll probably head back to her place to lounge by her pool.

For a moment, just a moment, Rex allows himself to fantasize about his stunning love clad in a blue bikini, while the setting sun paints her with golden highlights and makes her look like an actual goddess deserving of worship.

And then he shoves the thought to the back of his mind, and continues to their meeting spot.

His good mood remains, right up until he gets to the meeting spot and sees his cyare looking very uncomfortable with a man towering over her. She takes half a step back, and then man advances on her, to remain right in her personal space.

Rex scowls as he inserts himself into the situation. No one is allowed to make his cyare uncomfortable. “Sorry I’m late, cyare.” Rex says as he presses himself between his cyare and the stranger.

He feels her hand curl around his bicep, her touch light, “You’re not late, I showed up early.”

Rex lightly pats the hand wrapped around his arm, and he smiles slightly when she drops her hand. And then he focuses his attention on the stranger, who looks deeply, deeply annoyed that Rex interjected.

“Can we help you?” Rex’s voice is mild, but there’s a thread of durasteel and a hint of violence there as well. His cyare likely won’t pick up on it…but the stranger definitely does based on how he grimaces.

“Nah. I was just…” The stranger pauses, “It doesn’t matter.” He turns and stalks away. Rex doesn’t turn to his cyare, though, until he’s sure that no one is going to start anything.

And then he turns to his cyare, and all of the negative emotions he’d been feeling fade away as though they were never there.

“I’m sorry,” She says, as she steps into his space, sliding into his welcoming arms, “I didn’t mean for you to have to get involved.”

“Hey,” He rests his chin on her head, “It’s my genuine pleasure to be able to protect you, cyare.”

She hums softly, “You shouldn’t have to protect me. I should be safe here.”

“Well, until you are, you have me to be your sword and shield.”

A laugh falls from his cyare, “Oh, when did you become charming, Rex?” She asks as she pulls away to look up at him, fondness in her gaze.

Rex’s face heats, “Well…you know…Jesse-”

She laughs again, “You don’t have to change yourself for me, Rex. I love you just as you are. Awkwardness and all.” She takes his hand in hers, “Now, let’s go home. It’s hot.”

“We’re going swimming?” He asks, maybe more than a little hopeful.

She grins and nods, “I bought us matching swimsuits. They were on sale.”

“What kind of swimsuits?” Rex asks as he falls into step with her.

“For you?”

“For you.”

She giggles and and moves so she’s walking backwards in front of him, one finger coming out to lightly tap his nose, “It’s a secret~”

“That means it’s a bikini, right?” Rex asks, not even bothering to hide the direction his thoughts have gone.

“It means it’s a secret.” She leans in, “But I promise you’ll like it.”

“Cyar’ika. You could walk around in a burlap sack, and I’d still like it.” He pauses, “Or ribbons-”

“Really? Ribbons?”

He smiles innocently, “If you want.”

“I think you’ve been spending too much time with Fives and Jesse.”

“Yeah, but they give the best ideas.”

She shakes her head with a laugh, “Come on, Rex. Let’s go home.”

[chaosjustexists]

rant time cus I finally got around to watching avengers endgame and the ending with steve SUCKS

from what I know I think they needed a reason to not have Steve/Captain America v1 show up again cus of contract shit which sure, but there are much better IN CHARACTER ways to do that

first of all: Peggy is great and all but that whole plot line is at most a 'I dated her in highschool' level of relationship. he kissed like 1 time

second: he loves bucky way to much for that. just no. even if u somehow, trhough and enormous amount of homophobia and heteronormativity think that they aren't in love and don't at any point think about marrying eachother when they find out thats legal, their bond is far to strong to be sacrificed by steve for peggy. no.

third: remember all of age of ultron? that part where it's essentially implied that steve can't age? whered that go marvel??

fourth: same movie, different aspect: "God's righteous man. Pretending you could live without a war." -Ultron. He deserves to retire yes but 1) theres no way he actually would (this is the kid from brooklyn who fought when he could barely breathe) 2) he would want to be around just in case (remember half of the reason he took issue with the accords? "What if there is somewhere we need to go, and they don't let us?" -Steve) he would stay in his time just in case he's needed 3) he should retire with bucky, the only person whose been there for almost every part of his life, or at least somewhere where bucky is involved

so, my solution?

he comes back, gives the sheild to sam, finds a place to have a home where bucky would also live whenever he wasnt busy with his stuff, and ignores the outside world except for major updates (think he has a single phone with numbers to all the important people but otherwise he can just live his artist life inside his house and get updates from bucky on when he'll be home next)

the closest to in character that I think we would ever see of Steve "fighting bullies since I couldn't breathe right and running into war to save my best friend against orders twice" Rogers retiring and not showing up again

and this is only really an option cus I understand that actors cannot stay with one movie franchise for their whole career and everyone would notice if you switched out chris evans

sorry if there are and spelling errors I needed to get this typed put before I forgot it all lol

[winterillustrates]

WHAT YOUR FAV TWST CHARACTER SAYS ABT YOU!! (CRACK VERSION)

Ace: I'd hate you (/affectionately).

Deuce: I'd propose to your mom.

Cater: You need hugs. And followers.

Trey: You're as sweet as the cakes he makes. Also, you're his dentist.

Riddle: Mother issues. Same.

Leona: You have that one sibling you hate and one you pretend to hate.

Ruggie: You'd rob me and I'd call it our 'meet cute'.

Jack: I'd imitate you to look cool, ngl.

Azul: "Shady businessman/woman/enby? That has got to be my favorite genre." looking ass and I'd never judge you for that.

Jade: I'd bring you peace offerings almost everyday.

Floyd: You owe me a 150,000 worded essay on why and how your standards dropped so low.

Kalim: You want to be as optimistic as him, and you honestly deserve more credit for it. Plus, you cry yourself to sleep while hugging his plushie, cause it feels like he's crying with you. He probably is.

Jamil: I owe you a 300,000 worded essay on why he's the best, and I'd better get an agreement for each paragraph.

Vil: You love breaking gender norms and you hardly ever flop. You make long winded essays on character designs or "Ooh, shiny". No in-between. Also, you memorized his last name.

Rook: You kinda freaky and into yanderes. I'm into yanderes, but I hate this dude, so idk. I'd definitely say "I know what you are" to you, and you'd be thinking "She thinks I'm gay/bi/queer" and I'd be thinking "They're a serial killer".

Epel: You love the "Innocent girl who's a spawn of satan" and probably are one, yourself.

Idia: You "win" online arguments by doxing. That and your fav brother from Obey Me is Leviathan. Don't lie to me.

Ortho: You've always wanted a robotic younger brother!

Malleus: You're the majority. Congrats. (Also you have abandonment issues and ship MalYuu. Not that I can blame you, honestly).

Lilia: You say, "Ow, my hip hurts" then does the latest tik tok dance, no sweat.

Silver: You liked the mystery shrouding him. Plus, you love the found family trope.

Sebek: You see through his loud demeanor and really like his loyalty to his friends that aren't Malleus.

Yuu: You love yourself and I love you. <3

Grim: You're a snitch.

Sam: You are waiting for him to sing "Friends On The Other Side". You watched that one animatic by Laizyboy?? (Remind me the name)

Vargas: You actually thought eating raw eggs would make you strong. ... LOL. Jk. You ARE Vargas. I'm sorry, but how did he get THAT high in 2024 popularity polls?!?

Crewel: You have good taste. Might also be into getting praised.

Trien: VALID. YOU WANT A GRANDFATHER IN YOUR LIFE, RN.

Lucifer (^'s cat): Hello..............IDIA SHROUD.

Crowley: You are someone who wishes they could escape from their responsibilities as much as him. "He's a deadbeat, but he's a funny one."

Chenya: You like characters that are on crack.

Rielle: I...-- Is that even a character, dude?

Neige: You're the minority. Congrats. (Also, you are so confused abt the hate Neige receives)

Rollo: CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF, you aren't strictly religious. You also hate the double standards he's shown. And you think he looks actually kinda cute.

Fellow: You love seeing NRC boys get reckted.

Gidel: You think he's the cutest character in Disney. No one can/wants to change your mind.

Skully: You convinced him to skip the mandatory, "Twisted Wonderland is NOT an otome game".

Najma: You love fem!Jamil. Plus, you are the younger sibling that is secretly a little demon. As an older sibling, I'm sorry, but I will expose you at the slightest chance.

Dilia (Deuce's Mom): You're one of those people that Captain Man from Henry Danger was inspired from.

Marja (Epel’s granmama. Thx, https://www.tumblr.com/gremlinvapor): As a Marja lover, you love your grandmother and love hearing stories about her! And your grandma is low key a badass.

SCARABIA STUDENT B: W...who... who are you? Waiting until the ending for this guy. ... Idek what to say, honestly...

Mickey Mouse (Thx, https://www.tumblr.com/gremlinvapor): I’m the Donald to your Mickey. And you are probably so popular. Oh, you are also a cheap stake who fakes to like change, but actually despises it. You only like twst to be ‘woke’, but you don’t even like the characters or talk abt them.

(THIS WAS A JOKE. IF YOU ACTUALLY RELATE TO THESE RANDOM THOUGHTS I TYPED, THEN WOW I AM SHOCKED. Seriously, Idc who's your favorite, and I was not trying to discriminate or anything.

I tried to include all characters I could think of atm, but you are free to request more and I'll shove them in! These aren't even my opinions, I'm just tryna be entertaining.

If you'd like, guess my favorite(s)!

If I misspelt some characters names, I'm sorry and please politely correct me, thank you.)

[chelseachilly]

how deep is your love

pairing: reader x ben chilwell summary: ben's drunk and can't stop telling you how much he loves you 🩵 warnings: none :) word count: 1.4k

author’s note: written based on this post from @benchilwellx bc it was such a cute concept, just a quick fluffy little one-shot to get the writing juices flowing :) sorry i haven't updated this love in a couple weeks but life has been crazy! hoping to get the next chapter posted in the next week but enjoy this in the meantime 💗

also for the sake of this fic let's pretend chelsea didn't have a game this weekend, tbh would rather forget the one they did play lol

-

In the two years you’ve known Ben, and just over a year since you’ve been a couple, you could count on one hand the number of times you’ve seen him truly drunk. 

With the football season preventing him from indulging too much for most of the year, and fitness at the top of his mind even in the off-season, he rarely gets the opportunity. Usually, when you go out, he either drives or makes sure to get you home safely in an Uber, and if you’ve had a really fun night, he’ll help you take off your makeup or even hold your hair back if necessary. 

So it’s an interesting turn of events when you show up a bit late to his best mate Harvey’s birthday celebration at a fancy club in Soho and find your boyfriend clearly tipsy already. 

He’s sitting in a booth next to Tom and Harvey singing along to some 90s R&B song, a drink in hand that is definitely not his first, or even his second or third. He’s a bit of a sight to behold, as he so rarely drinks this much, but you can’t help but smile at the sight of him letting loose - you know how much pressure he’s been under lately with the captain duties. 

“Babe!” Ben exclaims with wide eyes and an even wider grin as soon as he sees you, stumbling a bit as he gets up from the booth. “You’re here!”

He quickly makes his way to you and pulls you in for a sloppy kiss, and you can taste the liquor on his tongue. You sink into him nonetheless, enjoying the feeling of being in his arms after a long day of work.

As soon as you pull back, he rests his forehead against yours and takes a deep breath, his thumbs drawing circles on your waistline.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, babe,“ you smile back at him warmly, enjoying this affection, no matter how much tequila is playing a part. “You pretty drunk?”

“Mhm,” Ben says with a slightly dazed expression, his eyes still focused on your lips. “The boys were making me take shots since there’s no game this week.”

You chuckle slightly, rolling your eyes at Ben’s - and by extension, your - good friends at the booth behind him, dancing and ordering another round of shots. You’re glad Harvey’s having a good birthday.

“I’m happy you’re having fun, baby, you deserve it,” you say sincerely, cupping his face with both hands before leaning in to kiss him again. “Now, it seems I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

“Go sit with the boys, I’ll get you a drink,” Ben offers, pressing another quick kiss to your cheek before heading to the bar.

You nod with a smile and go to sit next to Harvey, pulling him into a quick hug and wishing him a happy birthday.

“Now, which one of you is responsible for my drunk boyfriend?” you inquire, raising an eyebrow as you glance back at Ben, who is still smiling lovingly at you from the bar. 

“That would be the birthday boy,” Tom chuckles. “He’s bloody entertaining though, isn’t he?”

“Yes, but I’m the one who’s going to have to deal with him hungover tomorrow,” you joke.

The last time he was hungover, after one fun night on the yacht in Italy this summer, Ben had forced you to spend the whole day in bed cuddling with him. You pretended to be annoyed for about five minutes before giving in - partly because you can never turn down his cuddles, and partly because you were pretty hungover too. 

Speaking of how adorable your boyfriend is, within minutes he’s headed back over to you with that same dopey grin on his face and two vodka sodas. It’s your favourite, and his go-to during the season when he’s watching his calories.

“For you, my darling,” Ben says in an overly posh accent as he hands you the glass, making you giggle.

He then practically shoves Tom over to make room for himself to sit next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders protectively and kissing your cheek. You can feel yourself blushing from the unusually overt PDA, as he typically reserves this kind of affection for home, but you don’t mind.

“I love you,” Ben whispers once again against your temple, burying his nose in your hair. “So, so much. Missed you today.”

It’s amazing the way those three words still give you the same butterflies as the first time you heard them, making you smile like a lovestruck fool.

“I missed you too, baby,” you murmur, “I’m sorry I couldn’t make dinner. You know how crazy work has been.”

Ben and the boys had been a bit disappointed when you weren’t able to join them for dinner earlier, mainly because you’ve been so busy at work lately due to a recent promotion that your friends have hardly seen you. Even Ben’s time with you has been limited, especially with him also putting in extra time at Cobham as captain while Reece is out. 

It’s been an exciting time for both of you career-wise, but it’s also meant spending less time together, which is probably why Ben is being so clingy right now and why you’re welcoming his clinginess.

“S’okay, I’m just glad you’re here now,” Ben says, kissing your cheek a few more times before returning the conversation with the boys.

You contently settle into Ben’s side, his arm still firmly wrapped around you, and sip your drink while they talk about football and the girl Anish is seeing. When Ben interrupts the other guys’ suggestions of playing it cool and waiting to text her back by telling his friend to be honest and just tell her how he feels, your heart swells with pride that your boyfriend is the most emotionally intelligent guy you know.

“Since Ben’s the only one successfully in a relationship, I’m gonna take his advice,” Anish laughs, raising his drink to you. “Unless he just got lucky with Y/N.”

“Nah, he won me over fair and square,” you say, turning your face to meet Ben’s eyes and smiling lovingly at him. “I’m the lucky one.”

The way Ben’s eyes shine and his lip quivers slightly at your words makes it impossible for you to resist leaning in to press a quick peck to his mouth. It’s not your fault he’s so adorable, nor is it your fault that Ben deepens the kiss and pulls you closer.

“Alright, we’re going to get more drinks, we’ll leave you to it,” Harvey says with an eye-roll as the rest of your group gets up and starts to walk over to the bar.

You pull back from Ben’s kisses, feeling a bit embarrassed by how touchy you’re being, but he only takes the opportunity to grab your waist and hoist you into his lap.

“Baby,” you sigh, really enjoying the warmth of his arms and the little kisses he’s leaving on your neck. “Don’t you think we should cool it a bit? It’s Harvey’s birthday, doubt he wants to watch us do this all night.”

“Can’t help it,” Ben mumbles into your neck, sending a shiver up your spine. “I just love you so much.”

Ben never shies away from reminding you of this fact, often the last three words he says to you before bed or when you’re leaving the house, but he tends to tell you how much he loves you even more than normal when he’s drinking. You’re not sure if he forgets that he already told you multiple times or just that he feels particularly lovey when intoxicated. Either way, you love it.

“I love you so much too, Benji,” you smile, kissing his forehead and adorning the way his eyes flutter shut in contentment. “Why don’t we stay for one more drink and then go home and have sex on the couch and fall asleep watching Love Island?”

His eyes light up like a child who’s just been offered ice cream before bed, and he nods eagerly.

“Alright, but you’re gonna have to let me off your lap, babe,” you chuckle, ruffling his hair. “Unless you wanna get roasted mercilessly.”

“Don’t care,” Ben grumbles into your hair, but when you pull back and give him a warning look, he sighs and gives in. “Fine, but we’re dancing.”

You squeal slightly as you’re lifted off your feet, Ben dragging you to the dance floor. You might be exhausted and ready to go home at this point, but you’re content to spend the next few minutes dancing to some Calvin Harris song in the arms of your drunk boyfriend, him whispering how much he loves you between the choruses.

[photogirl894]

Sorry for not specifying, lol. Those were from the angst prompt list! (this is the person who requested the Rex one-shot)

I can most certainly do that for you, anon, and thank you for specifying the list!! 😊

**Slight spoilers for TBB s3 ep6**

"Bodyguards"

4. "Do you know what it would do to me if I lost you?"

16. "It's my job to protect you."

Pairing: Rex x fem reader

***

Rex had assigned you to be a bodyguard for Senator Riyo Chuchi after her own guards had been lost in an assassination attempt, especially now that she was neck-deep in her support of the Clones. She was going to need someone to watch her and she didn't want to risk anymore of her own security detail, so Rex entrusted you with that task, which you were glad to undertake. You and Riyo were similar in the fact that you both weren't Clones, but supported them in everything, fighting for their right to have a place in the galaxy. Though, after the Emperor declared the Clones were dangerous and would be replaced by his own order of stormtroopers, you knew that you and Chuchi had a lot ahead of you to help protect the Clones.

Soon after, Rex really began working hard on improving his underground network of Clones to fight back against the Empire while you helped Senator Chuchi from the inside. Neither side had it easy by any means. You and Rex kept each other informed of everything going on. He was always checking in on you, making sure you were safe. You were important to him, just as he was important to you. There was always something unspoken between the two of you that you honestly were a bit surprised hadn't been brought to light yet, given the constant danger you both were in. It didn't matter, though. You both had work to do and lives were at stake, so any feelings would have to wait.

A few months later, Chuchi was going to meet with Senator Avi Singh, the former Separatist Senator, and both you and Rex were going to be at that meeting for extra security. It wasn't long into the meeting that Rex got word something was wrong and then suddenly, there was a beeping noise in the room. A thermal detonator was thrown through the window of the room and Rex jumped into action. He caught the detonator and threw back out the window, nearly seconds before it exploded.

He had saved both Senators' lives, but seeing him throw himself into danger with such a close call made your heartrate spike with fear. He could've been killed just then had he only waited a few seconds more. Before you could say anything, he ran off to pursue the assassin while you got Senator Chuchi and Senator Singh to safety.

Some time later, he met back up with you, reporting that the assassin got away. Once you saw he was all right, you suddenly couldn't hold back.

"What were you thinking, jumping in front of the grenade like that?" you questioned him.

"I was protecting the Senators. It's my job to protect them," he stated. Then he looked intently into your eyes. "It's my job to protect you, as well."

You stepped closer to him. "I don't need you to protect me...and even so, I wouldn't want you to protect me by risking your life like that."

"I'm a soldier. It's what I do," he said.

"I don't accept that," you replied, laying your hands on his cheeks. "Do you know what it would do to me if I lost you?"

Rex's lips parted in surprise at the question, his eyes searching yours, but then he turned his gaze away, guilt etched in his features on his face as he whispered your name.

With a gentle nudge, you made him turn his head back to look at you and you stated, "Yes, we're soldiers, but we're also both human. That doesn't mean our lives are nothing to just throw away for someone else's sake. We both deserve to live...and to love."

Then, with those words having been spoken, you brought your lips to his and kissed the Captain softly and lovingly, enough to get your point across and hopefully not scare him away. After seeing him nearly have a brush with death, you were willing to take a chance at admitting your feelings. The time for waiting was over.

The sensation of your joined lips sparked a fire within the Captain that only been just an ember for so long. His arms were around you so quickly and tightly, nearly crushing you against him, and he deepened the kiss almost right away, seemingly wanting to lose himself with you.

After a passionate moment, he broke away, his breath heavy. "I know I said I was protecting the Senators," he said, "but all I could think about was you. I...I didn't want to see you hurt."

"I don't ever want to see you hurt either, Rex," you said back. "Please don't ever do something so risky like that again. We need to get through all this together."

He took your hands in his and gently kissed your fingers. "Together."

Photogirl894's Angst prompts

Photogirl894's 1,300 Followers celebration fics

[meowmeowriley]

Don’t mind me while I scream incoherently about the latest chapter of WsDB because holy shit was it good!!!

Ghost is the biggest shit ever and I love that for him (he deserves those strawberry’s).

all the gifts from his family the skull jumper were really well thought out (Soaps gonna lose his shit when he finds out Ghost’s part Scottish) The Akubra!!!! and the Skull omfg the sweet and twisted fluffy feelings 😭 They’re both in love and neither of the dumb arses realise it yet (I bet everyone else does though)

Poor price though he’s so worried for is anti social son. Ghost: *going out of his way to show affection and share things about himself with the team* Price: *sweating* wondering if he needs to call an ambulance or a priest first

Were Prices photos an 09 reference? How old is that hat?! I forgot you mentioned that Gaz’s girlfriend would be a spider! She must cop so much shit all the time (good on Kyle for not letting anyone add to it) I have a couple questions about her but all ask them later. Soap is so excited about his big family and ghost is about to go “hold my beer”. THE SPIRAL holy shit, like yes Ghost you do need therapy but that’s besides the point, your fucked up feelings are both weirdly sweet and reciprocated. Soap would 100% honour and respect every part of Ghost dead or alive they match each others freak. So your telling me that at the family show and tell Roach brought a photo of him with the rest of the 141 acting like idiots because they’re his family (your paying my physic bills because my heart just broke)

I love how Gaz and Roach are initially shocked by Ghost being trans but after it wears off they don’t actually care (meanwhile soap is in the background trying to do math) it’s just a thing like the sky is blue, the earth is round and Ghost is trans. The bigger shock is the whole rabbit situation, I can’t wait till soap finds out exactly what type of rabbit Ghost is. (Especially after what he just said lol) and Ghost’s last words for the chapter amounting to “I wouldn’t betray your trust but I have and will continue to fuck with you.

Sorry it's taken me a while to get back to this, but I wanted to give people a change to read it since this is a bit spoilery for chapter 3. ❤ Hopefully its been enough time, let's dive in!

Ghost being a little shit is one of my favorite parts of this fic, he deserves to be a menace.

Soap and his Akubra have been rotting my brain since it was first mentioned, and it will come up again. The man looks damn good in that hat.

Soap giving Ghost a fucking rabbit skull of all things, he's trying so hard to get into Ghost's good graces, and had no clue at the time how fucked up that action was 😂 next chapter will have our first taste of Soap's POV and his realization of the implications of his actions.

Price watching Ghost come out of his shell like 😰 lol the poor guy, he's never seen Ghost act like this and he's worried the man is losing it.

So Price's photos were a bit of a personal headcanon of mine, because Modern Warfare's Price isn't the first, only Price in the Call of Duty games. There was a Captain Price in Call of Duty and Call of Duty 2, who looks similar but his accent is way thicker and the timeline is set in WW2. There's also mention of a Johnathan Price in COD Black Ops. It's never explicitly stated (to my knowledge) that that man is one and the same as our Captain from MW. Anyway, I like to believe that the Price family has been sending their boys off to be Captains for generations.

Please ask about Gaz's spider GF, I love her, and want to talk about her!

Roach's family photos was fun and sad to write. Basically, by joining the military he severed ties with his old gang, who were all he had. So the 141 means everything to him. This will be important later. 😈

Ghost: I'm trans

Everyone: huh, okay, didn't know that. Woulda never guessed.

Ghost: also I'm a rabbit

Everyone: minds blown, chaos, worldview shattered

And lastly, as much as Ghost is fucking with and going to continue fucking with Soap, trust that I have all kinds of mental and emotional fuckery planned for you lot, my lovely readers. 😘

[t0ast-ghost]

Star Trek III: The Search For Spock thoughts!

Wow Wrath of Khan left us on a total cliffhanger so I’m glad I can just watch the next movie instead of waiting (checks google) …2 years. Goddamn. Anyway!

Warning for strong language and spoilers

Let’s get schmoving:

- They’re throwing us RIGHT BACK IN with the saddest scene ever

- SAREKS GONNA BE IN THIS ONE?! Hi bitch

- KLINGONS RAHHHH

- GET YOUR FUCKING DOG BITCH (edit: I love the Klingon monster dog <3)

- is that Janice Rand?

- Who’s in Spock’s room??

- CHEKOV ACTUALLY GETS TO SPEAK RUSSIAN

- “Jim, help me.” WHAT WHAT WHAT

- Jim lost one husband and the other is possessed by spirits and having visions

- McCoy can do a pretty good Spock impression

- McCoy is now two husbands in one. Two for the price of one kinda deal

- Stabbing me would elicit less emotion.

- LET SCOTTY REST OR LET HIM STAY ON THE ENTERPRISE

- Kirk has lost both his husbands and is now losing his ship. When will the pain and suffering cease?

- they slay

- Saavik commenting on how David is human like Kirk. Saavik saying fascinating like Spock. David and Saavik working together like the awesome siblings they are. I’m getting everything from this movie

- Did they have to make Sulu slay that hard? Yes.

- THEY PUMPED MCCOY FULL OF TRANQUILIZERS ?!? NO!!

- HII BITCH! It’s ambassador Sarek!

- “Sarek, your son meant more to me than you could know. I would give my life if it could save his.” That’s- nevermind. They’re husbands. Yada yada you get it

- okay. So Sarek was helpful. That’s a… rare occurrence

- “Then it’s my responsibility.” “Yours?” Yes! Of course it’s Kirk’s! They’re his husbands!

- “You’ll destroy yourself. Do you understand me, Jim?” The only people Jim would understand in these circumstances are mayybe Spock and McCoy but they’re not here. So he’s gonna do something stupid.

- Sulu’s outfit is going so hard

- McCoy’s at the club? He should be at the club!

- I LOBE HIS SPOCK COMING OUT OMG “to order poison at a bar is not logical.” God he’s got tho (edit: got what?)

- McCoy mixed with Spock is so funny cause it’s all of McCoy’s anger tampered down with a couple of added in logic’s

- HE TRIED TO NERVE PINCH HIM AND FAILED WHAT A LOSER LOL

- babygirl sleeping position

- “Revenge for all the arguments I won.” I like how McCoy knows Spock would be that petty

- Kirk not afraid to punch a bitch

- Sulu flips a guy IN HEELS and then proceeds to destroy a console… icon shit. He’s my hero “don’t call me tiny.”

- “Up your shaft.” Scotty ain’t taking shit

- This kid is about to get ratioed by Uhura so hard. I love her. SHE PULLED A GUN ON HIS ASS

- They’re so hot in this movie holy crap

- “Are you just gonna walk through them?!” “Calm yourself, Doctor.”

- McCoy’s standing there on the bridge after they escape the loading dock like ‘..did they just hijack and deactivate an entire starship for me?’

- Saavik’s hair is so cool

- IS THAT A CHILD

- ‘Marcus believes that Genesis has regrown Mr. Spock’ the captain is so shook like ‘uhhhhhh.. that’s amazing?…!’

- Tiny Spock is so cute omg

- welp.. Klingons

- BONES WITH SPOCKS VOICE IS SO FREAKY WTF

- A dick monster just attacked the Klingons

- Saavik must be relieved to hear her dad’s husband Kirk’s come to rescue them

- OHHH GOD. They’re gonna kill David. Oh no. Davids gonna die. He’s dead oh god. Kirk’s defeated little “David?” Oh my… god

- THEY KEPT THE “zero zero zero destruct zero” CODE??? That’s so funny

- Super cool moment. Love them

- He was having his period (edit: who? Probably Kirk? Not sure) (edit edit: it’s about young Spock grabbing his stomach in pain from pon farr but to be fair Kirk is the usual suspect for grabbing his stomach when in pain)

- So… they’re in hell. The planet is becoming a fire pit

- “Sorry about your crew, but as we say on earth c’est la vie.” God. this bitch.

- Kirk not afraid to kick a bitch… into lava

- “Help us or die.” “I do not deserve to live.” “Fine, I’ll kill you later.” Kirk is sooo done. He’s done.

- “Wait. You said you would kill me.” “I lied.”

- McCoy asking Spock for help D:

- I’m not ready for this moment- and neither is my computer cause it’s low power

- “I’m gonna tell you something that I never thought I’d hear myself say. But it seems I’ve missed you, and I don’t know if I could stand to lose you again.” mccoy- what what. What. What what. What

- I like the little hug between Kirk and Uhura

- Scotty looking between Saavik and the ceremony like ‘what the f- heck is going on?’

- So, Bones is alive. yippee!

- Saavik looking down and away from Spock when he gives her no emotion is so telling. She feels bad.

- “Why would you do this?” “Because the needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many.” JUST SAY YOU LOVE HIM smh

- They’re just staring at each other for a solid couple of seconds which I- personally - think should have been utilized by Spock going to kiss Kirk

- Leonard is so happy to have Spock back

- Group hug ! :3

That was pretty good. I enjoyed a lot of the McCoy scenes and the David and Saavik stuff. I like in the end credits they finally include Leonard Nimoy’s name because in the opening it would have been spoilers to have all the ‘as Spock’ actors names. Welp onto the next.

Masterpost

[rems-writing]

Oh ok

Includes: an nsfw headcannon about wtf happens when Joong forgot to wear panties lol @itsnotmydejavu and @bunnliix provided me with evidence of this lil shit captain not wearing panties so yeah. Here ya go with this crack shit :3

@newworldnet

The first night of Coachella was finally over. The boys had a successful night, existing Atinys probably died, new Atinys have joined the fandom, and overall Ateez domination spread throughout the world. After the stage died down and the festival goers have dispersed, the members all went to the designated after party.

Well

Seven of the members at least

The eighth, which is their beloved captain, was back at the hotel. He was tied to the bed and his pants were completely off. Only that slutty top and the fringed jacket was left. Meanwhile, you were in between his legs, edging the ever living fuck out of him as punishment. Why? It's simple.

He forgot to wear panties.

As a result, people shared on social media the obvious dickprint that was bulging through his pants. He thought he was teasing you.

You ended up getting jealous since you knew that locals were staring right at it, whether it be intentional or unintentional.

"Baby boy, tell me why you forgot to wear underwear. Hmm? Did you simply forget or did you want to tease me?" You cooed in a sickeningly sweet voice as you stroked his cock lazily, almost as if you were bored. Hongjoong whimpered quietly and gulped nervously as he took a peek at you giving a half assed handjob.

He deserved it for thinking he can tease you by being risky and shit in front of thousands of people.

"Mommy, I'm sorry. Please! I'm so sorry. I just wanted to tease you! It was Wooyoung's idea - "

More whines spilled from his throat as you let go of his weeping dick. The pitiful thing hung from his pelvis yearning for touch and release.

"Whether it was your idea or his, you know how I don't like it when you try to tease me. Now I have to fight so many locals and come up with an excuse so they can forget it from their brains. What do you have to say for yourself? Hmm?"

A tear slipped from his eye. "I'm sorry, mommy. It won't happen again. I'll be a good boy next time! I swear!"

You loved it when your man whimpered. You hummed in approval and grabbed his cock again before licking the tip ever so lightly.

"Ok, baby boy. I'll forgive you this time. After all, tonight is your night and I don't want you to be late to the after party. If you behave and lay still, I'll make it quick yet satisfying for you. Can you do that for me?"

Hongjoong nodded vigorously and laid still in his position while you sucked him off.

It was going well. He was staying still and even stayed quiet despite you not saying that he wasn't allowed to make noise. You looked up at him and giggled. The vibrations of that sweet sound went straight into his cock and he tried hard not to buck his hips up into your mouth.

After what seemed like forever, he finally came and a huge load went straight down your throat. Since you weren't a bitch, you swallowed everything and crawled up to him to kiss his tears away.

"Thank you, mommy." He said in a hoarse voice.

"Of course, my love. Now come on. The rest of the boys are probably looking for us.

[daemour]

Pairing: bae jinyoung x tutor! f! yn

Word Count: 1976

Warnings: cursing, mentions of alcohol consumption and drugs, mentions of sex, kissing

Genre: Angst, fluff, f2l au, college au, m for mature

Summary: You're popular, pretty, top of your class. It's no surprise you've ended up tutoring Bae Jinyoung, your opposite in many ways. But your feelings for him grew out of your control and you try to find him at the biggest end of year party

-

this is for the jackson wang party fic collab finished with @mingsolo (hella good), @flurrys-creativity (Pygalgia, Effervescent, and Abience), and @sanjoongie (trouble) ^^ this was supposed to have smut but i couldn't get it out im sorry :') you can just imagine it in ur head pls

and ignore the difference in wc from this and my san one :') i did not have the energy to write another 10k so this ones short and sweet lol

Also the banner was made like 2 username changes ago lol

You can read the San one here (No Hesitation)

-

It’s late…at least for you. Judging from the people milling about with ease, they’re a lot more accustomed to being awake at unholy hours of the night. A couple of them even cast curious glances at you, unused to seeing you at a party. And you can’t blame them either. You’re the college’s well-known “good girl”, volleyball captain and top of your college batch. You’ve been to exactly one party your entire four years here and it was because your roommate, Yeseul, threw it without telling you.

She’s not at this party, too embarrassed to show her face after being dumped by the school playboy, San. You’d feel bad but she kinda deserved it after bragging to everyone how she bagged him. And if she went with you, she’d make it such a huge deal when you want to lay low. You came to this party for one reason after all…to find Bae Jinyoung.

Once again, something you never thought you’d be doing. Jinyoung is the complete opposite of you in every way. Always partying, and getting high, his list of cons goes on and on. But when you were paired up with him to tutor in a last-ditch effort to not get expelled, you didn’t expect to grow so close to him. And maybe you’ve grown to have a soft spot for him.

He had to retake his final exam due to a stomach bug (he was hungover, but you decided not to let his professor know that fact) and you were told his test results early. He had passed after months of hard work, and you were too excited to keep it from him. 

You called him first, and he picked up, but he was clearly drunk, living it up at what you heard was the last party of the year. And against your better judgement, you decided to go tell him the good news in person, perhaps after getting him a little more sober. And you’re maybe a little stupid, hoping he would come sweep you off your feet and kiss you senseless, but a girl can dream. Maybe when you tell him the good news, he’ll lift you and swing you around just like in all your romance books and fall in love.

You’re once again reminded of just how out of place you are as you weave through the crowd. As you look around, you can’t help but be amused at how you must look so lost. You’re not looking where you’re going properly and you bump into a broad chest.

When you look up, you’re met with the furrowed brows of the other Jinyoung of the college, Park Jinyoung, recognisable from his stone-cold features and his signature turtleneck. The only thing he shares with your Jinyoung is the name. Whereas your Jinyoung was mixed up in all sorts of trouble, ranging from drugs to drinking to sex, Park Jinyoung kept to himself, except for this one girl he seemed to have conflicted feelings for. You’ve seen him look at her like she made the stars, only to push her away when she turns her attention towards him. And case in point, when you mutter out a sorry he barely pays attention to you, muttering her name under his breath. Looks like you’re not the only one looking for someone tonight.

You try and ask around a bit, and while some classmates do their best to narrow down Bae Jinyoung’s location for you despite their inebriated state, most of them are just too shell-shocked to see you here and they can’t mask their confusion.

“YN? I didn’t expect to see you here.” A familiar voice catches your attention and you turn to see Choi San standing before you, his hair ruffled and his signature smile on his face. There’s a hint of sadness in his eyes, but you don’t know him well enough to enquire about it.

“Ah, hello, San. I hope you’re doing well after…all that’s happened.” It’s no secret that San broke up with Yeseul because of his roommate. To your credit, you manage to hold back your curiosity and instead just ask him a question pertaining a bit more to your own dilemma. “Have you seen Jinyoung? Bae, not Park.”

San shrugs. “I’m doing well, yes. I can’t stay long, but I think I saw Jinyoung near the living room. It’s through there, you can’t miss it. Lots of couches…and lots of people kissing.”

You absolutely miss the warning tone in his voice, but your heart is already beating a little too fast for your own good at the idea of seeing Jinyoung again. “All right, thanks San!” You start walking the other way, but something nags at you and you spin around, calling out his name before he steps away. “And San…I want to apologise for Yeseul. You should go for your friend. She looks at you the same way.”

There’s a moment’s pause, then San quirks his lips at you. “Thanks, YN. I think I will. Good luck with Jinyoung.”

You laugh and salute him before turning back to continue on your way. With each step, you can feel excitement rush past your ears. You know it’s a horrible idea, but you’ve grown fond of Jinyoung. Maybe it was how all the rumours surrounding him were less than satisfactory, but he never showed you anything but kindness and quietness when you tutored him. Maybe it was the way he leapt at any chance to talk about football to you, and how his smile would light up any room.

And maybe it was when he finally convinced you to let loose and take a study break with him, you found out he kisses gently, large hands cupping your face as his breath puffs over your lips. His touches are soft, ghosting over your waist as you sit beside him, and you feel special.

“Jinyoung–” you call out, entering the room San had pointed out to you, but you stop dead in your tracks. You’ve found him. Bae Jinyoung, sitting on the couch, a girl in his lap and his tongue deep in her mouth. It’s not nearly as sweetly as he kissed you, and yet your stomach drops. It’s stupid to be hurt, you remind yourself. You stare for a moment longer, eyes glued to how the girl is grinding on him so well and you feel a tightness in your throat you can’t seem to dislodge.

And it’s almost like slow motion when Jinyoung turns his head and makes direct eye contact with you. His mouth drops open, more than it was before and like the coward, you turn tail and run right back out of the room.

You push through the people crowding you and out one of the back doors. In the distance, you can see a figure floundering in the lake, soaking wet, but you can’t be bothered to be curious about the sight. You should’ve known this was going to happen. You catch feelings, and Jinyoung doesn’t, and you make a fool of yourself. How could you be so dumb? It’s clear what happened. You were just another conquest, another prize for him to win.

“YN!” You can hear Jinyoung’s familiar cadence float from the house and you glance back, seeing him try and get to you through the people milling about. “YN wait!”

There’s desperation in his voice, but your brain does not register it and you just turn away, heading towards the line of cars parked far into the grass. You didn’t park there, but it should give you enough cover as you make your way to the next street over where your car actually is.

Your eyes are trained forward, and you refuse to look back even as Jinyoung’s panicked footsteps get closer and closer to you. “YN, please!” You hesitate just for a moment, but it’s long enough for him to catch up to you and grab your arm gently. “Please look at me, YN.”

You turn around, but keep your eyes trained on the ground lest you cry, especially after seeing his face. “What’s up?” It’s almost sick how sweetly your voice sounds as it breaks.

“YN, I’m sorry.” The desperation has not left Jinyoung’s voice, and his hands move to your shoulders, gripping them tightly as if that would convince you he meant no harm. And maybe he didn’t. But it’s not his fault you’ve fallen in love with an unobtainable thought.

“Why are you sorry?” you respond, trying your hardest to keep your voice level, although it tremours just a bit when Jinyoung sucks in a breath. “I can’t stop you from…parties, and kissing. I’m just a nobody.”

Jinyoung shakes his head, his long hair falling in his eyes but he makes no move to brush it away. “You’re anything but a nobody, YN. You’re pretty and perfect, and you have so much going for you. You have a job already lined up, you have plans for your future. I’m the one who’s a nobody.”

You laugh. “We could go around in circles, Jinyoung. You’re not a nobody, not to me. And not to that girl. It’s okay that I’m not who you want me to be. I can only kiss you sweetly, I can’t desire you in the same carnal way she does, no matter how much I want to. And there’s no way you want to waste time teaching me how to not be dumb and innocent.”

Jinyoung frowns, just as pretty as his smile is. “I do, YN. I do, more than you can know. I want to take you on dates and kiss you on the beach. I want to have coffee in the morning with you. I just want to hold you. And I love it when you’re innocent and sweet.”

“But that girl–”

“Screw that girl!” You flinch a little at his volume and Jinyoung pauses, taking a deep breath to calm himself. “We were drunk, and I was just missing you a little too much. It was a mistake. I should’ve have tried to run from my problems. I– when you called me, I should’ve dropped everything and gone to find you, but I didn’t. I didn’t want to let myself want you. But I do.”

You breathe in sharply through your nose. “I don’t want to make you change…” you start to protest carefully, although your resolve is breaking by the second.

Jinyoung shakes his head, leaning in so his face is mere breaths away from yours. “I want to change, YN. So please, let me.”

“I–” Against your better judgement, you look him in the eyes, noticing the shaking wateriness of them. “Okay.”

The tension in Jinyoung’s face pinches before finally dissipating, easing the lines in the skin. “Okay,” he copies you. “Okay. YN, can I kiss you?”

His question comes so suddenly, you swear your heart stopped beating for a moment. You barely get a yes out before Jinyoung’s lips capture yours again. And if you thought your first kiss was sweet, this is a million times sweeter. His hands find their way to the small of your back this time and push you closer to him, your arms naturally finding their way around his lithe shoulders. The movement makes the kiss deepen as his mouth presses eagerly against yours.

“I missed you,” he hums against your lips and you sigh happily.

“Must’ve been hard, benign away from me for a whole five days,” you can’t help but tease and Jinyoung groans good-naturedly.

“Man, you’re so mean to me. What happened to being all nice and innocent?” With a smile, you shove your face into Jinyoung’s neck. Jinyoung bends down to press a kiss to your temple. “Come on, let’s get out of here. I think we’re long overdue a talk.”

You sigh. “We are.”

[zara-renata]

hi. i read your recent fic “wine time with sylus” and had a lot of thoughts. i was typing them as comments in the tumblr post and decided the character limit is just not it. and then i tried to comment on your ao3 post of the fic but realized i’ll probably stain your other readers’ eyes from what i’m about to yap about. so here i am in your ask box im so sorry 😭

so anyway, WHAT A GOOD START TO MY DAY OMG. i actually read the fic earlier (right after i woke up) and was gonna start yapping away but then errands happened 😩 but now i can finally sit down and type!!

xavier’s appearance was such a lovely surprise!!! i love that he offered his support for mc in his own ways, which is so sweet eepy bunny of him 🫶🏼 BUT I AM A SYLUS RAT THROUGH AND THROUGH so i couldn’t help but mentally berate xavier for showing up the next morning and interrupting important relationship development time for crow man and mc 😤

i adore how sylus is such a wine nerd in this. and i can’t help but wonder if you, the wonderful author, are a wine nerd irl too? because the information i’ve gathered from this fic regarding wines and wine testing have been incredibly enlightening!!

and it’s amusing how mc’s thought flow and speed in this seem to be really jittery and all over the place — truly a reflection of how workaholic she’s been. and captain jenna’s “Go home, get your head on straight, and come back rested … and literate again, please.” made me ugly snort LOL

AND WHEN SYLUS HONED IN ON MC’S EXPOSED SHOULDER AND LEGS WHEN WEARING HIS CLOTHES. I SEE YOU BOI 🫵 and the way i cackled at “he is friend shaped, you will not ride the Sylus roller coaster, you will not ride the Sylus roller coaster—“

AND!!! “Yes, my heart’s delight?”!!! ARE U KIDDING ME. AHHHH!!!

and now please allow me to be unhinged for this segment but the last parts of the pic have effectively kickstarted my mind into overdrive. the POTENTIAL KINKS AND THEMES FOR THEIR, AHEM, SPICY ACTIVITIES ARE LIMITLESS. dry humping, sleepy morning sex, size training, thigh grinding, dom!sylus letting mc think she has the reigns and then he just takes over… i have more key words in mind but i shall keep them chained away for the sake of decorum 😭 AND THE LOVE BITE HE GAVE WHEN HE THOUGHT IT WAS A DREAM. WHAT WERE YOU DREAMING ABOUT SYLUS HUH 🤨

and if you ask me what my favorite paragraph is in this entire fic, it would be: “You lie like that for awhile, blissfully listening to his soft breathing, when suddenly you realize that pressed so close to him, you can feel every contour of his body, from your chest against his abdomen, his muscular, silk-covered thigh wedged between your legs, and his apparently very, very big dick pressing into your hip.”

no, i will not elaborate. to spare everyone from my disgraceful thoughts 🧍‍♀️

and it doesn’t help that the announcement on the upcoming multi-banner event came through right after i read the fic. i have a WHOLE NOTHER SET OF YAPPING ABOUT THAT but i shall spare you of this 😆

overall, i am the happiest sylus girlie today for that amazing fic and the new card 🫶🏼💕 WHAT A GREAT DAY, I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY TOO

i gotta say, when i woke up this morning i did not expect to be hit with such a horny treatise, but i'm so happy that the vibe of the fic came across in the way it was intended!! i had originally written something a little more explicit, but due to the context of sylus being asleep, i was running into issues regarding consent and the whole thing ended up not feeling as hot as i think this pixel man deserves if i ever get brave enough to write full on smut for him.

first, thank you SO much for reading and for sharing your thoughts on the fic. it's such a joy to know that other people like what i'm contributing to the fandom enough to actually comment and send me asks about it. it's mind-blowing, really. i'm gonna respond to your points with a novel under the cut, including NSFW discussion if people want to avoid it.

second, i fully believe that sylus is a wine snob. he has that dialogue in the destiny cafe that he likes to repeat at me over and over when i just want something sweet from him and keep poking him, where he's like "to forge a new path, one must be... something something brave about finding new flavors" and it's the most pedantic, pretentious shit i've ever heard and i love that for him. so i definitely think it's in character that he would hold court in front of mc and insist on educating mc about his thoughts on the matter of good wine. to answer your question, i'm not a huge wine connoisseur or anything. my partner likes to think that he is, so i've absorbed information through him and also through a few wine tastings and enduring vinophiles like sylus wanting to share their knowledge over the years, but i had to google while i was writing to ensure that i was remembering everything properly. i like a decent bottle that won't give me a headache the next day with just one glass, and that's about it.

i'm also glad you enjoyed mc being a dumpster fire in this one and that it made you laugh!! and xavier is so precious and sweet, i love him so much, and i love that it's consistently hinted that he is batshit insane jealous/horny under his cute exterior. i will never pass up an opportunity to try to honor him all these aspects of him in my stories.

As for the CORE of your ask, to be completely honest i've never written smut before. this is the first time that i'm actually feeling enough inspiration to consistently write, at length, a story that seems to have an actual structure?? but i'm really just flying by the seat of my pants without a fucking plan at all. but i HAVE read a shit-ton of smut, so i'm going to see where the story takes me, and i think you really did get the vibes i was going for in this one--i wanted to build the emotional and physical intimacy through the wine tasting, and also let my take on sylus's sexuality shine through a bit. i definitely see him as utterly animalistic (biting, grinding, scenting, unhinged physical expression of bottomless hunger) contrasted with unbearable tenderness (sleepy morning kisses and fucking). i think you and i are sharing the same braincell in this respect. but like i said, i've never actually written smut before, so i hope you don't get your hopes up too high if it takes a long time to write it, or i chicken out, or if i do write it and it's as sexy as ... well, about as sexy as mc imagines mc to be).

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts!!

[deanscroissant]

Chris Knight headcanon #1

“I saw your recent post about headcanons for Chris Knight, and I adore Real Genius! It's a funny movie movie, I love it. Would you be up to the idea of how Chris would be when you and him are studying together?” ~ Anon

A/N: so sorry it took a while to write. life happened lol. pls be gentle with me because this is my first headcanon. i also kind of went a little overboard so i hope this is okay. thanks for the request! if anyone else want to request then shoot me an ask. tyyyy 😁

okay Chris is an absolute sweetheart

he’ll make sure you have everything you need before studying: water, snacks, sharpened pencils, pens, highlighters, etc.

you do not play when it comes to studying and he knows it, so if he even just so move a muscle to pick up one of those gadgets he’s made then you’ll kick him out of his own dorm

but when he can tell you’re overworking yourself he’ll tell you to stop and take a break

when you would ace a test he’ll throw you a party each time

and when you would do bad on one (the worst you’ve ever gotten was a C) he still throws you a party and pamper you because, as he would say, “to my knowledge, there is no ‘c’ in failure. but i do know ‘Kent’ and ‘failure’ both have an ‘e’.”

you loved how he would cheer you up by just cracking jokes

before finals week approached, chris surprises you by taking you out on a weekend getaway to a concert of your favorite band

“are you kidding me?! these must have cost a fortune!” you gasped as you stared at the tickets in your hand.

“they weren’t when i threatened the guy who i brought them from.”

you giggled and jumped in his arms, “thank you, baby.”

“of course.” he said, smiling as he pulled you closer into him.

he loved making you happy just to see your beautiful smile + you deserved to be happy

you were hit with reality when you got back on campus Sunday night

you were scared as hell for your first final tomorrow and started to regret going on that weekend trip

“chris, do you think it was a good idea to go on that trip when we could have been studying?”

“yeah i think so. we’d probably have fried brains at this point if we did, don’t you think?”

you shrugged, “i guess so.”

“don’t worry, y/n. you got this. if you doubt yourself then you’ll do terrible on the test.”

“that’s what i always do, huh? doubting myself.” you said melancholy as you sat on your bed.

“yeah and you over think.” he squats down to your level, lifting your head up by your chin to look at him. he gently caresses your chin with his thumb. “i took you on the trip for that reason. believe in yourself, y/n…because i believe in you. can you promise me that?”

his viridian-colored eyes stared back into yours waiting for an answer. a moment went by before you smiled at him, “i think that can happen, captain.”

chris jumped up, threw his hand in the air, and yelled a cheerful, “Hell yeah!” before picking you up from the bed—bridal style— spinning you around as you let out a fit of laughter

you were passing your exams left and right all week, and when it came friday for your last exam, you passed that one as well!

when chris heard the news he was so happy for you. and you were happy for him of course, even though you knew he would ace all of his in one day

chris decided to go out to dinner to celebrate finishing the semester with you, along with mitch, jordan, ick, and lazlo.

then you guys went to a carnival and when chris would win anything from a game he would give it to you

“babe, no you deserved this. that was a really hard game.” you told him as you handed it back to him, but only for him to push your hand away.

“no, it’s for you. now come on! i got to win you one more prize for the last exam you passed.” he faked groaned and playfully rolled his eyes before taking your hand in his, smiling cheekily when he heard you laughing behind him.

so yeah even though chris graduates and you have one year left, he’s still gunna be your study buddy and cheering you on until then.

[crow-talks-hockey]

alright. haven't done one of these in a while. here's my top players in each area. (not just this season, but CONSISTENTLY the best in said area)

goal scoring: auston matthews. this one really shouldn't be hard to answer i mean, come on.

points: connor mcdavid, but some others i think are close depending on the season. good point getting is going to come from his play no matter what though.

well-roundedness: nathan mackinnon; he's an excellent passer, scorer, play maker. just all around such a top tier player. both physical and speedy. he is THE blend

defense: cale makar. another obvious one lol. he's just generational. you can't stop him.

goaltending: i'm going to go with andrei vasilevskiy still. just consistent and reliable from what i've seen. he gets the praise for a reason. many goalies are very close though. it's hard to really weigh this one because of how much tending fluctuates year to year

speed: connor mcdavid/nathan mackinnon. both are incredibly quick and actually have a lot closer numbers on average and for their top speed than a lot of people know. their play style is very different but both deserve to be known as the fastest guys out there.

pest behavior: now i'm not talking rat behavior. i'm talking about the ability to propel your team to glory by absolutely irking the opponent. so i'm going to go with matthew tkachuk mostly because he's a better player and pest combo than marchand is. marchand is more rat, matthew has higher playing level.

playoff performance: i'd love to put crosby here, but right now it's wire thin between nathan mackinnon and leon draisaitl. as far as pure scoring and points in the playoffs, it goes to leon. when it comes to the ability to drag a team to a win? i give that part to nate. i always talk about both of them together when mentioning this topic though, so i suppose it's a tie

passing: now THIS one goes purely to leon draisaitl. don't get me wrong there's guys that are close, but holy fuck ain't no one out there passing the way he is. he's excellent at it.

shot (speed/hardness): elias pettersson no comment it's insane argument over

shot (deadliness): david pastrnak, probably :]

defensive forward: patrice bergeron... probably aleksander barkov now, from what i've seen. i'm not very educated on this topic but he seems to trend into this category when talked about often.

defensive defenseman: i'd say devon toews, my favorite underrated king. sorry if this pisses some fans of defenseman off but he doesn't get the credit he deserves. he's very good defensively.

offensive defenseman: either erik karlsson or cale makar. they're always putting up good numbers. it's hard with the regression in ek's season but in his prime? idk. i'd probably still give this one to cale though.

offensive forward: connor mcdavid. shocker lol

skating: there's so many but this also trends in cale's direction for me. i don't think i've genuinely ever seen better edges. maybe datsyuk? either way lmk if there's better skaters out there but.. i'm picking cale again apologies apologies

best player: controversial but this one is a very tight race between mcdavid and mackinnon. again lol. it just depends what you're looking for. they're so much closer than people think but it's hard when their styles are so different. i say mcdavid still for this one, but nate deserves his spot at that "number two" because it's sooooo close. they're both incredible

bonus silly ones now :)

bitchiness: leon draisaitl

hair (not flow, just general amount of hair) : mika zibanejad

shit at media: everyone. congratulations you all get blue ribbons of participation!! you.. you tried!!

goober levels: mitch marner

inseparability: sidney crosby and evgeni malkin and kris letang

weirdness in goalie terms: marc-andre fleury but also all of them

honorable mention picks...

best veteran: we all know. it's sidney fucking crosby and don't even get me STARTED on him anyway

best captain: gabriel landeskog. truthfully but also i'm biased hence why it's here not mixed in with alllllll the others lol

hope you enjoyed my mania

*honorable mention players include mikko rantanen, quinn and jack hughes, adam fox, roman josi, more goalies than i can mention, ovechkin for goal scoring, andrei svechnikov, and so many more because guess what! this league is insane! i could talk about the talent of them all for hours! seasonally or consistently. i love raving about them all. it's very hard to just choose A guy for each category. not enough people see how close many players are to each other in skill levels in my opinion, but then again this is just for fun lol. feel free to debate me i don't mind