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cubedmango · 1 day

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hi, long time no message but this is kr anon - i just saw that you recently finished all (?) of build and i wanted to say congrats!! 🎉 and gotta say i really love the gentoku fanart/redraw you posted lmao, that meme really is him to a t (esp. after ep. 20 and before his turning point in like ep. 40) 😭 ngl i did think you would enjoy his overall arc, but i didn't expect you'd be that much of a gentoku stan by the end hfkhjwrfhs good for you though!! (also remember when i brought up aa/build parallels or what aa characters, especially the canon toku fans, would think of build, and i felt like if not misora bc of the similarities they share (more on this another time, though i also think sento and his dad's relationship has shades of maya and mia's relationship with misty), maya would be a fan of [redacted]? yeah i was talking about gentoku lol) and maybe we'll be seeing some more build fanart/content from you soon, if you're up for it? 👀

btw so sorry for the months-long radio silence, but it took far longer than originally expected for me to finish the rest of the show and its movies (excluding the v-cines for now, so you have one over me there lol, plus i also haven't seen the specials/webseries and the build episodes of zi-o, and some of those recent episodes of kr outsiders ig) especially with life getting busier and more hectic for me in general (university life and all), but let me just sum it up for now as me having enjoyed the ride from start to finish, even with some bumps along the way 🥹❤ [1/?]

(rest below)

sadly i don't have time rn to write/share my usual long responses to your commentary and stuff, though i actually started writing a reply to your answers from when i sent my last messages, back in march i think? 😅 i would have loved having more of episodic discussions/episode-by-episode breakdowns with you as you went along, but since you beat me to it by finishing the series on your own (which is totally understandable dw, esp. since i really didn't message you anything for the last several months), it won't be necessary anymore ig but i still want to eventually share that original reply i'd been writing so it won't feel wasted haha, and along with what i'd promised would be my overall review of everything i've seen so far, i'll do my best to send these messages to you by this weekend now 🫡 in the meantime, feel free to rant and ramble about build (like, ryusen truly is one brain chemistry-altering ship for the ages huh... makes me feel very 'go crazy go stupid' 😭) at me, even wrt the stuff i haven't seen yet bc i know the gist of them anyway, and i'll also be sharing some more links to build tumblr posts and tweets like before - though i see you've already started rbing more build fanart and edits (not sure if you based them on what i included in my original compilation though or if you've been combing through the build tumblr tags already?) so i'll have to make sure the ones i'll link rn aren't ones you've rbed already [2/?]

also when you say you think you've finished all of build, does that mean you've seen both hei gen final & forever + the specials/webseries + the build episodes of zi-o? or are you planning to only watch those at a later point, like the movies will be for after you've seen the other seasons they're crossing over with? but also no pressure if you just don't want to watch them rn for whatever reason, but just in case you do want to or you just want to keep the proper order in mind wrt at which point of the main show the specials or movies are situated in if you've seen all or most already (though i assume you've more or less checked the order from when you started watching the spin-offs after finishing the show): [3/?]

eps. 1-14 -> heisei generations final -> eps. 16-19 -> birth! kuma-televi!! vs. kr grease hyper battle dvd -> eps. 20-21 --> raising the hazard level with 7 best matches special & rogue miniseries -> eps. 22-41 -> kr prime rogue hyper battle dvd -> eps. 42-45 -> be the one movie -> eps. 46-49 -> final stage stageplay (though this was technically set during the actual finale, as you've seen) -> eps. 1-2 and eps. 1.5-2.5 of the succeeding season zi-o (since zi-o is basically an anniversary season celebrating 20 kr shows since 2000, thus basically being a giant crossover show like its spiritual predecessor decade and primarily consisting of arcs of like 2-3 episodes paying tribute to a certain season (sometimes actually featuring one or more actors from that season - not necessarily the actor for the mc though - and sometimes not if there are scheduling conflicts, etc.), and so is the 20th and final heisei kr show before zero-one marked the start of reiwa, though the timeline shenanigans here are so wonky and weird that you don't really have to consider these eps. canon if you want)

-> heisei generations forever (officially non-canon to the main timelines of both build and zi-o, though still a good enough homage to build's main story with a decent amount of ryusen) -> build new world: kr cross-z -> i heard the idol otaku is dating his fav special (basically just kazumi/misora nonsense from what i've heard, unfortunately) -> build new world: kr grease (i saw that you weren't keen on both new world movies as most build fans i know also weren't esp. bc of the het shenanigans (+ the weird evolt stuff that i've heard kinda feels like it's invalidating we already saw/learned in the main show, and it feels more like they just brought him back because they were milking his sheer popularity as a kr villain) that are apparently pretty typical of v-cine movies when compared to heavier gay coding in the main shows, sadly, so you can also take a page out of those other fans' book and not consider the nw movies canon or only cherrypicking the elements you like, but wrt the banjou stuff in cross-z specifically, i don't think him and yui are meant to be an unambiguously canon couple the way kazumi/misora and gentoku/sawa became in grease, as you can see a clear difference in how romantic both latter couples acted (even if i don't like both lmao, though i tolerate gentoku/sawa more than i do kazumi/misora simply bc i think g/s has funnier scenes than k/m, even with gentoku's unnecessary sexual proposition towards sawa in ep. 1 back when he was evil) vs. b/y, and also just the way banjou treated kasumi, his only 100% clearly canon girlfriend, vs. how he treated yui up to the end of the movie, and the girlfriend/date/best match comments in the movies seem to feel more like just jokes/trolling in hindsight (esp. since the b/y "date" at the end was literally just them selling stuff *sento* made, like something something sento is always somehow involved with banjou and his girlfriends, or 'girlfriend' in yui's case, so... lol. anyway), and also banjou appears to blatantly check out a shirtless killbas before they find out about him being the villain so ig the bi-coding was technically still going strong, plus the fact that yui just straight up disappears in grease which is supposed to be a direct sequel to cross-z and just isn't mentioned in any way (on which i have some bts info to spill btw, more on that in my next message) while sento and banjou continue to act like partners as usual, and in fact get paired up in a way that sets them alongside the pairing up of k/m and g/s in the same movie - so tl;dr: aside from the fact that we can just straight up ignore those movies, i don't think we have to worry about the yui stuff as a genuine invalidation of ryusen's romantic subtext-that's-practically-text, though it's still unfortunate they tried to pull this shit in the first place even if ultimately very half-assed and halfhearted, and you just kinda have to laugh at the audacity of doing all that *after* banjou made his little speech about sento being his hero, like you said)

-> kr jeanne and kr aguilera with girls remix (a revice spin-off included here on a technicality bc of sawa's presence, along with female characters from a few other kr seasons both in the heisei and reiwa eras alongside the titular female riders who i think i've told you before are the first major example of a lesbian-coded pairing in kr, though iirc they sadly also get hit with some plausible-deniability "they're like family/sisters" comments here though not really in the main show) -> kr outsiders (basically fanservice cash-grab slop from what i've been told that essentially is a suicide squad-esque project where various villains/evil riders from different seasons are assembled to battle a bigger bad guy, and evolt and misora are there in like a couple of episodes so 😔) [4/?]

(also i think there are like a few stageshows - different from the stageplay - that mostly feature the characters as played by suit actors only and are mainly crossovers with other seasons, as seen in this playlist which also includes non-build-related stageshows, youtube . com/playlist?list=PL0DBnMkUNDE3zk9hDvvihG9H_rBv6siTE&si=auHNcClmv4_a93S1, but idk if that covers all of them or if there's some missing, and unfortunately i think most if not all of the videos aren't subbed yet 😅) anyway i'm glad to hear you loved build just like i did, and hope you enjoy the rest of your kr journey! 💕 if you want some recs (for kr or mainstream toku in general), i can give you a brief list based on what i've gathered from other people since i'm also still a beginner for the most part 👍🏼 and thank you so much again in general for entertaining my asks and messages since the beginning last year, i'm just glad to have someone else to talk to about this stuff sjfhfkdhfas [5/?]

the stuff from tumblr: tumblr . com/sleepiestashu/700321086698553344/i-will-never-get-over-this-clip tumblr . com/raimei-p/718407651195748352 tumblr . com/gurayura/638313188734173184 tumblr . com/t-u-i-t-c/697842377983967232/silverwind-inukai-atsuhiro-kamen-rider-build tumblr . com/gurayura/190258714717 tumblr . com/summerrheannan/175883578861 tumblr . com/writing-in-sin/705753172018364416 tumblr . com/writing-in-sin/705934353292836864 tumblr . com/pleuvoire/659804099395600384?source=share tumblr . com/writing-in-sin/706518453622898688 tumblr . com/katsuragitakumi/624283580914384896 tumblr . com/katsuragitakumi/623545387915083776 tumblr . com/gurayura/190258714717 tumblr . com/keruworld/178191732809/things-that-cant-be-helped-these-two-precious tumblr . com/keshi-zumi/180792173152 tumblr . com/veeranger/179497372829 tumblr . com/keshi-zumi/179900052937/20181109 tumblr . com/takeru-tenkuuji/165057772349/be-the-one tumblr . com/takeru-tenkuuji/172014607710/are-you-ready tumblr . com/takeru-tenkuuji/643767818792370176/had-my-partner-watch-kr-build-and-finish tumblr . com/hiiiiiiiiiiho-blog/187010482966 tumblr . com/tsunflowers/665938709540126720/sento-coded-poses tumblr . com/heartvisor/716129755541405696/whenever-a-weird-t-shirt-crosses-my-dash-i-can tumblr . com/42wv/164432280570/here-comes-dr-pepper tumblr . com/sakurai-keiwa/638006761079685120/so-id-been-watching-kamen-rider tumblr . com/t-u-i-t-c/697714949310513152 tumblr . com/riderontime/667708174309146624/banjou-introducing-himself tumblr . com/peonypaint/682351924868218880/taking-a-spring-walk-together-id-two-digital tumblr . com/riderontime/668542674347982848/while-i-think-sentou-can-actually-express tumblr . com/yucca-persica/682512948095238146/so-im-continuing-my-kamen-rider-journey-and tumblr . com/sakura-neko6/679805498986463232/%E3%81%A1%E3%81%A3%E3%81%A1%E3%82%83%E3%81%84%E3%83%99%E3%82%B9%E3%83%88%E3%83%9E%E3%83%83%E3%83%81-small-best-match-boys tumblr . com/sakura-neko6/682522776141266944 tumblr . com/angeli-cal/681830647152672768/made-this-for-my-boyfriend-and-im-super-proud-of tumblr . com/jade-lop/680046866647449600 tumblr . com/meiuya/679835343407693824 tumblr . com/aokisouta/647356801407434753/best-match-rooftop-cinematic-universe-kamen tumblr . com/gurayura/644571893590032384 tumblr . com/kabutoraiger/643229452004999168/is-he-yknow-mimics-sento-sitting-on-the tumblr . com/kabutoraiger/641224933913083904/delighted-by-the-sento-on-this-shirt-design-3 tumblr . com/gurayura/642737313511866368/because-queenvernage-likes-nose-kisses tumblr . com/chilipepperconverse/749698516994129920/started-a-build-rewatch?source=share tumblr . com/kabutoraiger/649592805251022848?source=share tumblr . com/kabutoraiger/173938637978/i-should-be-working-right-now-x?source=share tumblr . com/kabutoraiger/176282612867?source=share tumblr . com/kabutoraiger/182461346822?source=share tumblr . com/kabutoraiger/728992489454845954?source=share tumblr . com/kabutoraiger/173803704162/sawatari-kazumi-specific-farming-memes?source=share tumblr . com/kabutoraiger/177176575102?source=share tumblr . com/kabutoraiger/171151040612/the-real-joke-is-that-banjou-isnt-straight-but?source=share tumblr . com/skeletonflower/747697203006554112/rabbit-tank-sparkling?source=share tumblr . com/m1ontee/746695053897089024/hazard?source=share tumblr . com/cina-full-moon-xanadium/747038237131997184/maekawas-6-year-old-son-sitting-down-to-watch-the?source=share tumblr . com/cina-full-moon-xanadium/747037066263756800?source=share tumblr . com/backtornado/176039367474/build-characters-react-to-you-contracting?source=share tumblr . com/number-one-toku-robot-lover/699306511051227137/sorry-but-timetoddddavis-s-tags-on-this-post (ngl seeing this post makes me tear up every time 🥺) tumblr . com/katsuragitakumi/180418205938?source=share (this shit goes so crazy like dhfjgwsjnfs) [6/?]

the stuff from twitter: twitter . com/funkyfunkyradio/status/1779275103596847521?t=psnLYCbT5mZCw4faWyfIZQ&s=19 twitter . com/Ponzu_SHT/status/1781660945946989008?t=Pg4sEboZIQN5vckidseaAA&s=19 twitter . com/KRfights/status/1783857906238079024?t=R1SvsO46XJLL7MxAtzipqw&s=19 (the card in the pic is merch following the Chemy card gimmick of the 2023-2024 season Gotchard, since iirc every new season tends to release merch for previous seasons based on their current gimmick) twitter . com/spidergenome/status/1744784670477386169?t=-1tjcLDe9zG4jLBvqVT2_A&s=19 twitter . com/cynonic/status/1707816360146039062?t=kDrhlIdwWRo0785HtrFqMQ&s=19 twitter . com/YRXCL/status/983380559182282752?t=JGM8aE0XtgCXqJwHcxiUxw&s=19 twitter . com/___racccoon/status/1510534991477805057?t=smM_s1knTKq2uNmv7NDwwg&s=19 twitter . com/JONA0207DIO/status/1643296242536153088?t=IeCo7FtikefmBIAWVDGBxQ&s=19 twitter . com/8038_2gou/status/1750502615866339675?t=5biOP7Vg4ePOwZzeNXlo1A&s=19 twitter . com/P3ACH0520/status/1456516201769623554?t=eMZUeWioRHpiaViI6LRWjw&s=19 twitter . com/P3ACH0520/status/1438183667663204356?t=-zj-0yFcvZdmlFg8691cpw&s=19 twitter . com/P3ACH0520/status/1756927961461395601?t=o3T10kxtFYEQZShzSrG6Vg&s=19 twitter . com/yuro_yuro_yuro/status/1754065358775038247?t=ZPaPsx3ttai0AotqTKHeOg&s=19 twitter . com/TokuStats/status/1755964588338930078?t=R5IgHSGIJvJN5wTqAmbSoQ&s=19 twitter . com/TokuStats/status/1756108264259940752?t=HWKUDpWv2ne6bufIxB7ZBQ&s=19 twitter . com/ichippon/status/1745683922086682872?t=XARw2xrhfsvcAPA-uH1xaA&s=19 twitter . com/00x_sio/status/1757760751375421810?t=wbODL8gTEL-RKEwbUZfIFQ&s=19 twitter . com/___racccoon/status/1535042965160067072?t=Qcj6PG8TGaTQWeBS8XUsYQ&s=19 twitter . com/TokuStats/status/1757767410537353382?t=9h2DHOKD_5gqzvv1JXPjVg&s=19 twitter . com/TokuStats/status/1756800454690852966?t=1cfA96Ve1zOuemgtvKsong&s=19 twitter . com/TokuStats/status/1756695765785727082?t=1cfA96Ve1zOuemgtvKsong&s=19 twitter . com/TokuStats/status/1756449394038116785?t=1cfA96Ve1zOuemgtvKsong&s=19 twitter . com/TokuStats/status/1757896417312477291?t=1cfA96Ve1zOuemgtvKsong&s=19 twitter . com/TokuStats/status/1758616156921876588?t=1cfA96Ve1zOuemgtvKsong&s=19 twitter . com/TokuStats/status/1759347800146428012?t=1cfA96Ve1zOuemgtvKsong&s=19 twitter . com/TokuStats/status/1761149499076981106?t=1cfA96Ve1zOuemgtvKsong&s=19 twitter . com/TokuStats/status/1759592516599296272?t=1cfA96Ve1zOuemgtvKsong&s=19 twitter . com/totome_17/status/1757758979579724080?t=0w9ZYUUT0MdIco4qbYNnQQ&s=19 twitter . com/1010_mumumu/status/1735287016181694882?t=3tRVABh9xFYcpj-zxECjYA&s=19 twitter . com/sasakura34/status/1672218720599683072?t=fgsjGz7n5F-fI56t5t84Cw&s=19 twitter . com/6W6pig/status/1669966178591346688?t=tM0nhcJVzlnRF63tEQt0xA&s=19 twitter . com/itotk32/status/1644461276071084033?t=A9srwyexOeq1TdYLz1P_VQ&s=19 twitter . com/6W6pig/status/1667937476856659968?t=BN0OxLfsms8b-R3mUmt-aw&s=19 twitter . com/fanzhazhazha1/status/1668911037687689217?t=UmIoxUEBwiUc6ZehH09wWA&s=19 twitter . com/Heyear_0609/status/1668270429142675457?t=hP7Tx-xWtjB1nANSPg5abQ&s=19 twitter . com/6W6pig/status/1620039685920935938?t=vPBjNykZU10DXr1l9YkrWg&s=19 twitter . com/oi_nanndedayo/status/1737450554857812029?t=_QAjrtWq-gJFSkY_2Zi2dQ&s=19 twitter . com/oi_nanndedayo/status/1740709126882365594?t=epUZbphcvxvt0dp3YvtHFg&s=19 twitter . com/KRfights/status/1758546842181063053?t=KbhACtwcvenQSfxmHL7wUQ&s=19 twitter . com/GaMwanG_/status/1759600273763545282?t=eSIBTzMbNDQRPjH9sBPe7g&s=19 twitter . com/st05_uoxou/status/1758821836127957202?t=gIUzv9uALvzjQCJ2Dl2vnA&s=19 twitter . com/mysillycomics/status/1235409655532269568?t=y36Wzm7AIrpelkicXlWfZw&s=19 [7/?]

also i noticed you rbed the ryusen cake by the ocean edit, so i'm linking 2 other edits from the same user (i shared one of them before but idk if you saw them since they might have gotten buried under everything else, so sharing them again just in case): tumblr . com/shirleyjakcson/654666138019594240/i-dont-know-about-this-power-of-science-stuff-you?source=share tumblr . com/shirleyjakcson/654696259298476032/dragon-rabbit-theres-no-way-a-combination-like?source=share and there's also this video that i linked in one of my earliest messages, since i also don't know if you've already seen it youtu . be/-Gjzr5HmmfY?si=-RhP-86SUOTs8Uic and from the same user, here's an out-of-context edit that's a 'comprehensive guide' to kr (aka memes summing up each rider mentioned in the song, which is an abridged version of 'george karizaki's rider system,' a character song for the guy of the same name from the season revice in honor of revice airing in 2021 - kr's 50th anniversary - and which is sung by his actor hamao noritaka and basically lists every rider in the showa era, every primary and secondary rider in the heisei era (excluding kuuga bc no secondary rider in the first place) and for the first 2 seasons in the reiwa era, and every rider in revice's main show), in case you want to pick your next kr season instead based on a meme you want to understand here lol youtu . be/N6zw0IGkUFY?si=fbCsMgploCWMuI0m and since the video doesn't have subs, this page has the lyrics so you can keep up with which rider is which: kamenrider . fandom.com/wiki/George_Karizaki%27s_Rider_System [7/?]

also i think i forgot to mention way before that kasumi's actor risako ito is also known for starring in the 'long long man' commercial, which also aired in 2017 (assuming you don't know about it already as well), and well i just find it funny that apparently this is the kind of stuff she finds herself drawn to acting in like ajfhkjwshs youtu . be/6-1Ue0FFrHY?si=kjyG9FzsqwwVN6a8 and if you want fic recs, i'll just link them next time since these messages are getting longer than i anticipated again (assuming you haven't been reading fics already, too) and a couple more accounts you might want to check out on twitter: the daily build twitter account @ daily__build which posts pictures of the cast both in-character and as themselves (some of which were already in the tumblr posts i shared earlier), which hadn't been updating for a while bc it's run by a brazilian but now it's back, happily + @ tokustats, a lot of whose tweets i included in my previous link compilation, and it's basically sports graphics (mainly nba i think?) edited to fit various toku shows (i think they linked all their build graphics in one thread, but you can also search for the graphics with the hashtag kamenriderbuild). anyway i hope this isn't too overwhelming for you, and feel free as well to take your time in checking everything out :-) [8/8]

KR ANON!! WOAH HI !!!! omg its so great to hear from u again, i hope ur doing good and ur university stuff is going well, it sounds v busy akfjdskjf i understand the grind 100% 😔

as for the stuff ive watched, i finished the main eps first and then went for basically everything i could find that i knew had the build charas/story involved, so the only stuff from everything u mentioned that im missing are the 4 eps from zi-o, the revice spinoff, outsiders and the stageshows. i was thinking of leaving the crossover movies for later at first but then i also didnt wanna wait for if/when i watch ex-aid or zi-o so i just went for them (esp since u mentioned banjou chara development for one of them which i was Rlly curious about) and i enjoyed both, non-canon as they might be akfjdksf.. i think ill check out those zi-o eps but i probs wont watch the whole show (yet at least)

but yeah it rlly was a rollercoaster holy shit that entire final arc in the show was fucked up and evil?? in the best way possible??? i was crying literally the entire last three eps help ... the silly little rabbit w a death wish was too real...... i def saw what u meant by the end bit being weaker but honestly it didnt feel too bad to me, it probably wouldve been better executed if they had more eps to work w (which ik are strictly consistent for every season) + those actors that werent able to film, but i feel like for what they had to work with they did a rlly good job bc i was still hooked and Invested(tm)

i only got to the other stuff afterwards so i didnt rlly watch the whole story in chronological order (which. i probs shouldve???) but i did enjoy those a lot too esp the second stage play as u already saw akfjdksjfkds that and be the one were.... man....... the found family. the ryusen. Kiryuu Fucking Sento. Good Lord. i dont think ill ever recover from the rain and the music box and 'hes my precious partner, our relationship wasnt a fabrication' that was worse than getting stabbed i think

also the rogue spinoff like i went in already liking gentokus chara a Lot after seeing the whole story so i was biased but i think they showed his desperation and spiral into insanity (? if it makes sense) rlly well there, it was def a lot more brutal but somehow i ended up liking the fight scenes in there more than the main story ones maybe bc they didnt have much of the cgi? either way it was a good insight into gentokus past/chara (and a little bit of takumis too who i always like seeing) and now i can Genuinely put him in the 'poor little meow meow who killed people' box so yay :) my silly shirt man i care him :)

then theres the new world movies which.....sigh......... Yeah............ those sure were movies ......... the comphet honestly didnt even bother me that much bc im so used to ignoring when writers pull shit like that (tho the whole banjou/yui thing did give me a fic idea in a way that i started outlining afkjdksgj) but the way they just undid the entire logic of the new world with the point of it being that its entire existence is only possible w evolt and the pandora box no longer existing is just. Eugh. like i get they have to have some sort of villains bc this is toku and the action has to be there but it just makes no sense in the sequel setting where its supposed to be A Normal World.??? we couldve had two movies about ryusen navigating life in this world and slowly finding their family again or smth like that but nope. kill the canon with rocks who even cares /s

anyway yeah i did enjoy the ride overall and im feeling very unwell over these guys so thank u sm again for recommending build it was a great time even tho i took . fucking forever to finish it 😭 also im super down to watch more so if u have recommendations for any other ones pls do share!! one of my mutuals also recd den-o and ryuki so i might go for one of those next and maybe ex-aid too later, but yea if theres any show besides those u think are good id love more recs 👀 ill be looking forward to the review u wanted to send me earlier too im super interested in what u thought abt it

#and tysm again for the links too ill go through all of those !!!!#ive been on the hunt for art and fics now that i can look at the tags myself.. i need to eat up everything i can find #also gonna draw more stuff myself for sure tho its gonna be a task bc i have so many ideas but my hand isnt cooperating w art lately :(#my answer

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triglycercule · 5 months

Text

songs that remind of the murder time trio but it's all pepoyo/maretu (the goats) and it's also only based on sound because i can't be bothered to search up the japanese translation (unless otherwise specified)

warning this is super fucking long. i was going to post this way a few months back but my god awful memory made me forgot (is this ok)

1) shittai seitai jikkentai by pepoyo and dust

idk it's just. it gives off the vibes. EMANATES those vibes. i think it's the really strong vibe and also desperate sounding vocals. it's giving dust doing his first genocide run and hating it all but pushing through for the ultimate goal

2) plusminus 0 by pepoyo and killer

THE ENTIRE SONG IS LITERALLY ABOUT HOW THERE IS NO PROGRESS MADE AND HOW THE SINGER WISHES THEY COULD JUST STOP FEELING AND HOW THEY REGREY ALL THEIR DECISIONS. if that's not killer coded then i don't know WHAT. also the entire song sounds perpetually the same the entire time but also filled with emotion and i think that works well with killer's whole schtick with emotions and yada yada

3) akairo ushiro by pepoyo and horror

the vibes of the mv. the vibes of the song. the actual lyrics. it just seems so horrortale esque is it not? there's a lot of red and the vocals are deep and it feels lile you're spiraling down (but a LOT of pepoyo songs feel like that but this one especially) and also the final scene where the miku stands still and then rhe effects change to alter her i just feel like someone should do that with horror. the entire song reminds me of horror

4) shooting star of love by pepoyo and the entirety of the mtt

okay okay this one is a reach BUT this isn't canon oriented. i just think that this stupidly sweet song about love and friendship and wishing on stars would fit them if they all got over their trauma and just. became good friends because the song is so sweet i love shooting star of love. so cute

5) noroino neurose by pepoyo and the mtt

I'M SORRY I KNOW I'VE SAID THIS SONG REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF THEM BUT IT REALLY DOES!!!! IT'S OBJECTIVELY TJE BEST PEPOYO SONF AND IT HAS 3 SINGERS AND UGHHHHH

the first one is sunf by miku and i just think that this first verse is horror because she literally gets hit on the head with a rock and dies and who else has a head injury???? WJO ELSE. but also it's because the whole song is about having neurosis and how that effects them and the first singer talks all about how they like how things are for them and that they're grateful and that everyone else sucks ass and i think the denial and egotism is horror coded WHOOPS just. just read these lyric translations i made on my own

yeaaaahhh erm. it just feels like horror to me haha. and then for the second verse its sung by vy2 i think. and the entire section is a lot more aggressive and hateful to their predicament and how crazy theyve gotten and i think the self hatred and also the fact that vy2 kills herself after miku dies because she can't live without her (even though poyoroid is RIGHT THERE AND STILL ALIVR HELLO??? YOUR THIRD FRIEND????) its giving subtle horrordust and also mtt poly angst. again just read the lyrics

ok last verse is very obviously killer. now the issue is that poyoroid ends up... erm. getting saed in this section but obviously that doesn't happen to killer BUT that doesn't mean the lyrics don't apply to him. the lyrics are more self deprecating and how life sucks because of the neurosis and also it talkd about how people pass by and end up leaving and ignoring poyoroid (they're homeless in this song btw) and i think that fits with all the people killer's met throughout the multiverse and how he never gets the help he needs despite him wanting it because of himself or some outside force that pushes them away (dream, color, swap, etc) and then in the end poyoroid just bottles it up and dismisses it lol. also at the end of the mv poyoroid dreams of seeing miku and vy2 again after they died and i think thatd SO SAD IF YOU PUT IT IN MTT CONTEXXXTTTT AAAAA killer dreaming of horror and dust after theyve died but he's still alive and he can't die??? it's so sad and angsty. i CAAAAANT

6) menheramen by pepoyo and horrorkiller AND MAYBE DUST

menheramen is a song about all the shitty and gross and bad things in life. yeah that's basically it. the song is energetic and upbeat and you REALLY wouldn't know that it's a song about that without the mv and the translation but yeah. i think horror and killer would sing about that shit because theyve been fucked in the ass by life and all that bs. reason why i said maybe dust is because the song is a bit TOO hyper and energetic for me to see him singing it. maybe he'd be in the back or sm harmonizing LOLLL

7) togenkyodekyusaiwo by guess who. pepoyo. and horrordust

this song's an absolute banger btw pepoyo songs are always great. but the song is about likeeeee saving people from the terrible world through what is implied to be cannibalism but we don't acknowledge that part (or the obvious womb symbolism in this. or the fact that it's being sung from a person growing up with childish ideals wanting to save other kids from adult society) but i think that this song reminds me of them because of the more slow pace (killer songs are usually more energetic for me ngl) and also the salvation part. because both of them just wanted to help their undergrounds. dust it's obvious but horror he's dealt with his underground's bullshit for 7 years and donated every scrap of food to them. even though hes a shitty guy in canon and he probably doesn't care about anyone else aside from papyrus by the time the comic takes place theres no denying that he DOES work to keep them sustained

8) every other energetic type pepoyo song and killer

like i said earlier. energetic songs remind me of killer. so this includes handycapper and netchuso ni naritaina, shippu ninsatsu waraninja. yaaaaa they're just more fast paced than the others even though the lyrics have nothing to do wirh killer

9) idk these songs just give off horror vibes maybe it's because they talk more about mental health stuff

chuushajou: song about taking drugs for issues. erm. doesn't seem like anything horror related but it just feels right.

asper garden: song about aspergers disease (unrelated but this song is really clever and i've never heard of aspergers disease before this so thanks for pepoyo for spreading awareness or whatever idk. the lyrics make no sense until you put it into that context) the lyrics are just absolutely crazy and unrelated to anything and i just think that raises a horror colored flag in my head. idk why i have this idea that he's the most unstable of the trio when thats CLEARLY killer but he's the one that we see the most of since yk. horrortale comic and rahafwabas stopped posting killer stuff (sadly but its okay)

imigo no tamago: song about the singer failing to fit in with other kids her age and like not being up to standard and there's a lot of egg metaphors. AGAIN ANOTHER ONE THAY HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH HORROR but i think it's just the egg symbolism. theres a whole section where they talk about egg foods and also i think the crack in horrors skull could be lime a cracked egg (💀💀💀 WHAT IS BRO ON)

dendenshindenzu (hey this one matches shittai seitai jikkentai. horrordust real): the song's about heart beats and electrocardiograms and gore and stuff like that i just felt like it fits horror

10) ALSO I FORGOT ANOTHER ONE FOR KILLER. slug record pepoyo

the song is completely unrelated to him but basically the song's one giant metaphor about engaging in your intrusive thoughts and placing the blame onto something else but also taking oit the thoughts onto that thing. in the song it's about slugs invading a bathroom and the singer punishes rhe slugs by basically torturing them. for killer i feel.like it could relate to how he was losing bis emotions bc of the resets but was also curious about the players deal bit really didn't wanna accept but in the end. GUESS WHAG HE DID. so i guess that like him giving into his thoughts and then "taking it out" on the underground but also blaming chara (in his defense it WAS the players fault for fucking with his code but still. he had the thought. i will never not shit on my favs)

11) ill just put these 2 together. amedama/rakuraku annrakushi and dust

ok so if you read the lyrics of amedama its kinda like. about things (wow) but i guess ill make a metaphor for the first verse and dustm basically vy2 steps on a frog and the eyeball goes into mikus mouth and then vy2 is like holy shit i can't tell her because she thinks it's a candy ball she's eating so she does. and the metaphor is i giess the candyball are the resets and dust's vy2. he never told anyone about them (not that rjey could remember buttt) also the last verse is about god cursing civilization with acid rain and how they all died because of it and i think thats a good metaphor for the player and the genocide route since you basically ARE GOD when you kill everyone in the route and how theres no survivors since youre an unstoppable force like how rain cant be stopped completely especially if its ACID. i guess basically this song reminds me of pre-genocide dust

and then for rakuraku annrakushi (ive gained a new found liking for this song. before i thought it was kinda mid and i didn't know how it was pepoyos most famous song but now i like it :3) OH MY GOD I JUST CHECKED TJE LYEICS FOR THIS SONG TO WRITE TJIS AND I JUST FOUND THIS TRANSLATION DO NOOOOT TELL ME THOS ISNT DUST CODED

"ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SCREEN IS SOMEONE'S MALICIOUS SIEGE???" THAT'S LITERALLY HIM TALKING ABOUT THE PLAYER A D THEIR ROUTES AND THE DREAMT NIGHTMARE LINE COULD BE HIM LIKE DISASSOCIATING FFOM HIS CHOICES TO KILL EVERYONE BUT HE KNOWS IT SUCKS ASS

i cant. this is SO DUST SANS CODWD. i didn't ven REMEMBER TBE LYRICS FOR THIS SONG SINCE THE LAST TIME I CHECKED WAS PROBABLY LIKE 2 YEARS AGO BUT NOW THAG IM CHECKING AGAIN NOW I KNOW MY INSTINCTS WERE RIGHT TO CALL THIS SONG DUST CODED

THIS ENTIREEEEE SECTION IA DUAT. HE CANR STOP WHAY HES STARTED BY KILLING EVERYONE AND HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAY DAY IR IS ANYMORE BECAUSE OD TJE CONSTANT RESETS AND ALSO TJE CALL OUT TO THE HUMAN??? THAYS JUST HIN TALKING TO TJE PLAHERN!!!!!!!!! im sorry im so crazy for this trio i have to link them to everything possible. anyways i think that's the literal entirety of pepoyos discography except for a few so. no more songs! time for maretutime

12) angel 92 and killer

A LOT of these maretu songs are gonna be about killer. and toxic killermare. just a LOT of killermare in these. anyways angel 92 just gives off killer vibes as soon as i read the translation i feel like it could be about him talking about the sights he's seen working under nightmare and how he's being "taken away from all of this" and "invoking a sense of piercing ecstasy" and "devouring all of you in one go" during the chorus. like nightmare has control over him but he's aware of it and like it. and also the bridge where the song is like "that one is watching you and that one is judging you" could be talking about horror and dust as backhanded mentions (this song was NOT written for killer)

13) new darling and killer

RHW ENTIRE SONF IS ABOUT HOW RJE SINGER WANTS THEIR DARLING TO DESTROY THEM AND DO TERRIBLE THINGS TO THEM. if that isn't toxic killermare i don't know WHAT IS

14) eraser girl/girl eraser WHATEVER and mtt poly

toxic relationship song. canonically they'd all hate each other. i don't care if the song is only for 2 people TJIS IS A TRIO (or it could be about horrorkiller/horrordust/kist individually but i feel that kist would be more extreme than this song says so probably horrorkiller/horrordust)

THEY LOVE TO HATE EACH OTHER THEY DOOOOOOOOO

15) mind brand and dust

rhis is JUST because of the mind brand dusttale meme from 2017. i haven't read the lyrics yet but they do probably fit dust. update: they don't. idk what i expected but rhey don't. they fit more rne asshole dick version of dust in 2017 since nobody knew how to characterize back then

16) based solely on vibes: miseenen, uminaoshi, namida, maegamist, i'm high for dust. these are all in your face impactful songs that have clear ginmicks in the song. i feel like it just FITS yk??? like dust is just so iconic. also edit: new maretu song dance of life i haven't checked the lyrics in a while but it probably kinda fits

17) again only on vibes: pink, koukatsu, SIU, brain rev girl 2016, dokuhaku, and thirst for horror. also new maretu song BINOMI (eeoouuaaoouuaouao) (cannibal horror isn't canon but its still cool as hell

18) white happy and yamitsuki for killer. white happy is just so goddamn UGHHHH like god i cant even explain it at this point. and yamitsuki has nothing to do with killer but the swing vibes of the song remind me of lethal deal and like this is ap cring but when i imagine killer to the song i just imagine his life crumbling apart and he's just laughing the entore time. fucking freak. but i think that's it for maretu. time for iroharingo! because DEAR LORD are their (her? his? its? idk) songs good as shit dear god

#tricule rant #epitome of time wasting because who asked for this (me!!! i did!!!!)

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ruki--mukami · 2 years

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So, dress up game made into an official tag?

BTW, are you planning the open interaction for August of will you continue one from July?

🧩 Yep, the dress up game is seen as an "event" of sorts to me, so I decided to give it its own tag much like the other memes, special occasions, and holidays seen on this blog. It's also an attempt at me organizing my blog since a lot of my posts are all over the place given how there's over 4.4K of them now.

Also, I planned on being a lot more active with the July open interaction, but as you can see I got distracted by other things going on the blog. Sorry to those I haven't replied to yet, but I'm hoping to extend it to August since that's still summer time for me anyways and it lines up, ahahaha. So, I've decided to keep that open for two months as opposed to the usual one, since it was the open interaction with the most participants thus far. ^^ The first one (grocery shopping) had 12 different threads, the bite one had 7, and then the beach one totally blew those two out of the park with a whopping 16. I also don't want to punish those who haven't participated by neglecting their threads (unrelated to any event) either, but I've been slacking on those too honestly. Basically what I'm trying to say is — I hope to reply to everyone soon, no matter which thread it is.

For the August open interaction, I originally planned on doing a summer festival setting but now that I think about it, the Japanese festivals are usually to honor some kind of god or the changing of seasons from what I read. It's ironic for a Vampire to want to attend that, lmao. Though I suppose it doesn't have to be a religious thing, and on the plus side, Ruki gave a ton of kimonos out recently so it kind of fits HAHAHA. Definitely let me know what you think about the idea for those who are (or aren't) interested in a summer festival open interaction for August. I intended on alternating between open interactions in terms of cruel vs soft (grocery store - soft, random bite - cruel, beach - soft) which would mean the August one would have to be a bit dark to maintain that balance.

And since I've honestly got so many open interaction ideas, I'll probably spoil them under the cut for those who want to "prepare" in any sort of way. 🧩

So, I already mentioned that for August I had a summer festival idea planned, but I'll at least reveal what I anticipated for the remainder of the year.

September — I was going to do a Vandead Carnival type of thing, but honestly, that might be too similar to the festival activities, haha. I don't like to make things repetitive. However, I might make it a school open interaction instead after finding out more OCs attend the academy than I expected. Though I'm not sure what exactly they're going to do at school just yet (maybe partners for an assignment, maybe a library encounter, I'm still vacillating between options).

October — Now, here's where things get a little crazy. My friend suggested that Ruki should hold a Halloween event where he judges everyone's costumes for the fun of it (there is no "ranking" system or "winner" or anything like that — he just wants to see people dress up, and I'm still working on the reasoning for that as well, haha). Of course, I will dress him up as well and perhaps even draw something over his sprite to align with the Halloween spirit. Really tempted to do a Vampire dressed up as a traditional Vampire for the laughs again.

November — I think an open interaction where you cook with Ruki might be cute. Hoping to make him invite the person he's interacting with to the Mukami manor to help him test a recipe of his choosing.

December — Of course, I'll be damned if I miss out the opportunity for a Christmas date. Yes, it's weird for Vampires to celebrate Christmas, but there is actually a Mukami Christmas special in Vandead Carnival so I'd like to create a similar atmosphere as that. I already did one like that last year where they went shopping together but we don't talk about my 2021 writing. So, instead of Christmas shopping, I'd like to plan something more romantic. By then, I'm hoping his current relationships will be more fleshed out, and for any newcomers, it could be a ploy for Ruki to bite them later most likely.

I got more ideas cooking in my head but I don't want to reveal too much.

#the admin speaks

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beepboop358 · 3 years

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Hello ! How are you ?

I am actually sending you this because I have some scenes in stranger things that really make me doubt that byler is endgame and I am going to tell you those scenes I am really interested in hearing what you think about them

So the first scene is the end of the battle of starcourt when mike is running to el and then he’s hugging her and she is asking him if he’s ok … I hope you get wich scene I mean haha I am really bad at explaining 😂

Next scene is the end of season 3 when el is kissing mike and telling him she loves him . I know everyone is always saying mike was sooo shocked and clearly didn’t like the kiss but if you look close to the end of this scene you can actually see mike looks happy ( at least that’s how I remember)

Next scene is mikes and wills crazy together scene.Yep i know that’s a byler moment actually but you can see in that scene even tho will has problems and he’s being honest and kinda romantic with mike , Mike is still thinking about el you know when will said “ please don’t tell the others they wouldn’t unterstand “ and mike says “ eleven would “ ( could this also hint will and El’s connection ?🤔)

Next scene is the reunion in season 2 and the fight mike has with hopper right after . As soon as Mike recognizes el he is almost crying and you can really see that they are both really happy to see each other again ( I know that that’s also how you would react if a friend that was missing for almost a year but still kinda makes me doubt ) than after that scene Mike and hopper get into … wills room I think , and mike is yelling at hopper for hiding el almost a year. So some byler shippers think he yelled at him because of self hate but to be honest I don’t think so …

Next scene is the scene where Karen is telling Mike to throw away some of his old stuff . He is grabbing his one Star Wars thing and his dinosaur that had obviously reminded him of El and that’s why he didn’t throw it away

Next and last scene that makes me doubt ( I have way more but it would be way to long if I added them 😅) the goodbye hug . Mike and el have hugged twice ( I think ) and their hug seems like they are together again and it also seems to be romantic

That’s it I am really sorry my question has turned out being so long and just to clarify I love byler and I love your blogs I just don’t think byler is endgame ( btw sorry for every grammatical mistake I made I am actually from Germany 😅😂 ( and sorry I didn’t add any punctuation marks I was in a hurry ))

Hope you have a weekend ! ♥️:)

Hi anon! I'm in the middle of finals for the next 2 weeks but things are going well! :) I hope you're doing well! <3

I love answering questions like this, thanks for the ask! Also your English is so good, I love learning where people are from! And thank you for the sweet comment about my blog 💜 I hope it's okay I numbered the scenes you mentioned just to keep track when I was writing this :) Also sorry this is gonna be a long post LOL

1. The first scene you mentioned is s3 ep.8 right before Billy dies. The conversation is:

This is right after Billy sacrifices himself to save El & everyone else. Previously, Billy knocked out Mike, Max & El and took El away, seperating the 3 of them. Mike knows Eleven is a target for the mindflayer because of the conversation when El looks into Billy's memories & then talks to him in her mind when the mind flayer says he is after her. It's a very sweet scene, and it makes total sense. Mike is concerned for El's safety, she disappears after they all get knocked out, he wakes up to her missing & knows something is wrong, so seeing her again, alive, is a relief. It is really important to remember that Mike & El do have a special bond, although it isn't romantic, it does not mean that they don't care about each other because they do. They're friends. He was the first person to treat her like a human being, and he took her in to save her life. Mike would do anything for his friends, he jumped off a cliff ready to DIE for Dustin's teeth not knowing El would save him. He's a very compassionate person at heart. This little clip doesn't diminish byler in any way, just shows Mike & El's friendship, and their concern for each others safety, because before they see each other here, they don't know if the other is okay, or even alive.

2. The "I love you too" scene.I know you mentioned Mike looking happy at the end of the scene, but I don't see that. He seems confused at first, and then shocked. Here's the full clip of the kiss and his reaction (sorry there is no sound):

I talked about this scene in-depth in my byler proof master slides, here's the link to this scene's specific pages :) But just to quickly summarize; He doesn't smile or anything when Eleven says she loves him. He stands in front of an open closet, but she doesn't. They're in Will's room, it's will's closet, and Will's teddy bear she is holding - in between them during the kiss. His eyes are open, he doesn't touch her or reciprocate the kiss, but she does close her eyes and touch his face.

Another important thing to remember is this scene is after the Mike & Will "not possible" scene...He shares a cute moment with Will that indicates care & loyalty and then El says she loves him and he is unresponsive. It's very telling.

3. The "crazy together" scene. When Mike mentions El in this scene, it's partially because he misses her as a friend and wants to do if she is okay, because again he is portrtayed ads kind of this "angel friend" kind of person when crisis strikes. But also because at this point in his life, he is not aware he is gay. This moment is clearly romantic & intimate, they're wearing the ghostbuster costumes, & the subtext of crazy = love, is all hugely significant, and Mike mentioning El doesn't undermine this. Mike is aware he cares for Will, but he is determined to like El. Part of him mentioning her is out of concern for her, but also to remind himself he is supposed to like her. He's young in this scene, and it's early in the season so a lot of these thoughts are just instinct, before he even understands why he is doing it himself.. He hasn't processed his sexuality at this point in his life yet. Bringing up El here partially shows the beginning of Mike's suffering from serious heteronormativity in s3. It may also be a little nod to El & Will's connection because Mike implies that El would understand Will. I don't see Mike bringing up El here as a genuine romantic thing at all.

4. Mike & El reunite in s2, & Mike and Hopper's fight. Of course Mike is happy & relieved to see her, he hasn't seen her in a year and they are friends! Also just moments before she returns, Mike tells Max she's dead.

As far as Mike's fight with Hopper, I think he is mostly talking to himself, taking his anger out on Hopper. Because of the subtext of the words, stupid, lying and bullshit. I also think he is yelling at Hopper for hiding her, because he believes El was around him during that year, he would be 'normal' and like her like he is 'supposed' to.

We also need to compare how Mike reacts to El and Will's respective disappearances. He gives up on El, and he doesn't give up on Will.

4. When Mike doesn't want to throw out his dinosaur. It's partially because it reminds of El, and again they are friends and he cares for her, and at this point in time he doesn't know where she is or if she is okay. When he holds the millennium falcon in this scene, it's yet another reference Mike & El are non-romantic, because it's a Star Wars reference.

There's also a Star Wars reference in s1 during the D&D game (that Mike wrote) where Mike plans out that he wants King Tristan to give him a medal, not Princess Leia to symbolize how he wants a king instead of a Princess. Cheesy I know but still valid. He wants Will to award him the medal and to be his hero.

5. The goodbye hugs at the end of s3 😭 Again, they're friends and it's hard to say goodbye to your friends, especially when you have such a strong connection to them, like them saving your life several times. All the hugs are during Hopper's letter, which is very byler centric. I would suggest checking out this section in my byler proof slides since this post is already so long LOL.

And Mike & El only hug once here, but Mike & Will are shown hugging twice.

And El is the one initiating the movement of his forehead onto hers during the hug. El also initiates all of Mileven's physicality. In the opening s3 kiss, she puts his hands on her, and he takes them off of her & breaks away to start singing, and once they resume kissing he puts his hands back in his lap, and El reaches for his face again. If Mike is straight & likes her so much, why doesn't he ever want to touch her in a romantic way? Because he isn't straight & he's not romantically in love with her. I don't see this as a romantic hug because Mike doesn't reciprocate the romantic touch or anything with her as usual, and there are plenty of hugs like this in this scene, but people do not say the other characters hugs are romantic, because it's between friends :)

I also don't think we can assume just because they hugged they are back together. We never saw them get back together on screen, so as far as we know, they are still broken up. But again, they are deeply bonded and care for each other, so that's what the hug expresses. And then we also have Eleven's whole issue of her idea of romantic love coming from purely soap operas she watches, so her idea of romantic love is warped. She has very little real world experience at this point, and she may not realize they aren't back together since in soaps the couple always ends up together, even after they break up.

Thanks for the ask!! I hope I could answer your questions :) ♥️ I hope you have a good weekend too!

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bookofmirth · 2 years

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please share your stranger things thoughts i’m curious 👀

okay but I am not going to tag this because I don't want people yelling at me! I am disagreeing with posts that have 5k+ notes so... I will put everything under the cut and still tag it as spoilers.

Fair warning! Stranger Things 4 spoilers below.

(Sorry it got long-ish, I have a lot of thoughts. I liked the season overall, btw. I know a lot of people are pissed about how it went but I'm not!)

The second - the second - that Mike told El he loves her, I was like oh shit. Here we go. That fandom collectively just imploded.

While I understand why people ship it - why wouldn't we want Will to get everything he's ever wanted? - I never thought it would actually happen because I saw no hints at all that Mike is queer.

I didn't feel either way about it happening, for context. If Mike/Will happened great, if not great. I'm not super attached to... probably any of the ships at this point, other than lumax. I've never really cared about Mike/El, at this point breaking up Nancy and Steve in season two feels like a mistake they are now trying to fix, I guess Joyce/Hopper is alright. My point is that I had no horse in this race.

Is Will queer? Obviously, and idk why people are mad that he didn't come out. Like what would that even look like? This is 1983-1986, remember. What community does Will have, as a queer person? What role models in his immediate, personal life? How do people around him talk about queerness? (A friend pointed out that they were also in the middle of the AIDS panic, which would have a major influence on how Will sees his own queerness, if he could even define it or label it in the first place!) I understand that there are fantastical elements to this story, obviously, but they are still living in our world, in our 1986.

It's super easy for people on tumblr to be like "just come out, just say you're gay!" but we have basically this whole website as support to do that, we can find communities online. When Robin "came out" she didn't actually say anything either? She just said "Steve" and gave him A Look until he figured it out. Call me crazy but these two characters can exist being queer without wearing their "I'm gay, ask me how" buttons to work/class every day.

So yeah I personally don't think there was any queerbaiting because, as a bisexual who has watched this show since the beginning and probably rewatches once a year, I am satisfied that Will is indeed queer and Mike is not and Robin is. I don't need a ship to happen, I guess, I just need the queer characters to actually be queer, and I think that Jonathan's talk with Will in the pizza place set that up perfectly to happen in the final season! Because now Will knows 100% that he can live his life, figure out who he is, and perhaps find someone to be with who is not his straight best friend. I don't think that anyone is arguing that Will isn't queer. (I keep using "queer" instead of "gay" because I did lowkey think he was aro/ace for a while, and he hasn't put a label on it. He's probably gay because that was some serious unrequited pining, but anyway.) We know he is! So are people mad that he and Mike aren't happening? Because ships aren't a guarantee. That particular ship not happening is not queerbaiting. It also reminds me of e*riels sorryyyyy I had to say it, it's just another example of making mountains out of molehills!

Like I said above, Will is obviously queer, and they have set him up to live his best queer life in the last season. I don't feel "baited" in the slightest.

(Side note, I don't pay attention really to interviews or articles or whatever is said outside the show itself. Much like any interview or event with Sarah J Maas, I don't rely on that event to tell me things that the show/book hasn't already told me.)

Now, Eddie. His death was sad, I cried both times (because I've watched the episode twice haha) but it did make sense, to me. He felt guilt for having left Chrissy behind, though obviously he couldn't have done anything about that. He couldn't have saved her, but like Max's guilt over Billy, that doesn't make him feel any better about how he responded to the situation. His death was not pointless? When he and Dustin went back to Hawkins, they would have ceased being a distraction for the bats. The second they leave, the bats would go back to the murder house, where Steve, Nancy, and Robin were trying to kill Vecna's body. They were supposed to be a distraction for a reason, they weren't just on a field trip to the Upside Down. So Eddie stopped, realized he was running again, and that doing so would actually in this case have been leaving other people in a lurch. (Now that I am writing this, I wonder if Steve had an influence on Eddie's decision to stay and fight. Something to think about.)

One more thing, but I also don't care that Vickie was kissing her boyfriend? The girl could be bi! Bisexuals exist y'all, and the fact that people are annoyed that a potentially bisexual woman was kissing her boyfriend,,,,... it just grosses me out tbh. Is Rickie their ship name, btw? So yeah, bisexual Molly Ringwald is gonna hopefully be a great girlfriend for Robin.

idk, some of the criticism I've seen just doesn't totally make sense when we still have another season coming. And when, like with Will, I feel like these things are going to continue/be resolved. I was watching something a while back and Oliver Stone was talking about the movie Wall Street, and how being a director means knowing that the viewer is absolutely going to misunderstand your intentions. I think there is a lot of that going on right now.

I liked this season. Some of the memes making fun of it had made me laugh. I'm not trying to be an active member of the fandom, I just have a lot of thoughts. (If this somehow gets outside of my usual fandom/followers, just FYI that I don't hesitate to block a bitch.)

#spoilers #ask #anon #SPOILER FILLED #sorry if the cut doesn't work for people #when you have things to say #but do not want to be perceived

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liliacvol6 · 3 years

Text

Just Famous

Pairing: Tom Holland x reader

Summary: You’re THE up and coming movie star, he’s the guy that plays Spider-Man. What happens when he reveals in an interview that you’re his celebrity crush

Warnings: Honestly just a cute ass lil story

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I had this in my drafts forever so I figured I should probably post it eventually :)))

(Y/F/N) - your first name

(Y/L/N)- your last name

(Y/B/F) - your best friend’s name

~~~~~~~~

You sat on your couch reading a news article about the up and coming movie Spider-Man Far From Home. You were a large marvel fan and had wanted to get into the movie series, you auditioned for MJ but it ultimately went to Zendaya. You talked about this recently in an interview, how losing the role made you work harder and that’s how you go the role you were nominated for an oscar with.

“Y/N!!” Your manager and friend called to you, you looked up from your phone. Their face was bright red and they held out their phone, “Fucking watch this”

You grabbed her phone and pressed play. It was a video from an interview from the Far From Home press tour. Tom Holland, Zendaya and Jacob Batalon sat laughing and giggling while the interviewer came up with the next question, she waited for the giggles to die down and then said,

“So (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N) auditioned for the role of MJ, do you think the movie would’ve been way different if she was cast and Zendaya, you weren’t?” Tom started looking around the room at everyone and as Zendaya started to speak Tom threw his hands in the air waving around,

“Wait just a minute, (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N) could’ve been my MJ? Are you serious??” Tom was smiling widely now, Zendaya slapped his arm and Jacob rolled his eyes,

“What am I not good enough??” Zendaya asked laughing, Tom shook his head and put his face in his hands

“No, you’re great but she’s celebrity crush for sure and I would love to meet her”

You gasped as your manager started laughing, “How crazy is that?” She asked taking her phone back. You couldn’t stop yourself from giggling. Tom Holland was extremely cute and from what you had seen in interviews and red carpet appearances he was a real sweetheart too, and YOU were his celebrity crush... you couldn’t believe it.

~~~~~One week later~~~~~

In the past week you were still swimming around with the thought of Tom Holland. It was just a stupid comment that he probably didn’t mean but you couldn’t stop thinking about it. The day you thought you had gotten over it, your manager informed you that you were just invited to the Far From Home premiere in two days. Naturally, this caused you to freak the fuck out even more than you already were. You called up your best friend and asked them to join you at the premiere. They said yes and now it was time for you to find the outfit.

*I’m in love with this dress btw *

You settled on a dress dress that was to die for. The red was a not so subtle nod to one of Spiderman’s iconic colors and you looked stunning.

~~~~~

The Night of the Premiere

“Okay we are approaching so you and (Y/B/F) get ready to depart the car” Your driver told you, you looked at your best friend and they smiled back at you. You were nervous yet excited, nervous because even though you’re an actress you still got nervous in front of the camera. Also nervous because you were most likely going to meet Tom Holland tonight, which also had you excited.

The car came to a stop and the door opened, you could see some flashing cameras in the distance and knew that’s the destination you had to get to. You stepped out of the car and people started screaming. You say all of the Spiderman fans screaming and waving. You waved back to them and (Y/B/F) came over and grabbed your hand, leading you to where you had to go. You scanned the people that were waiting to go onto the carpet. You were slightly overwhelmed with the amount of marvel stars that had shown up.

“Holy shit, this is insane” Your best friend whispered to you as they also looked around at all of the celebrities. You nodded to her and turned around to talk to her while you waited to go on the carpet.

“Oh my god! (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N)!! I didn’t know you would be here!” A voice yelled behind you, you turned and were face to face with none other than Zendaya herself. You were star-struck.

“Oh wow hi, you’re incredible and you look so beautiful” You said to her as she pulled you in for a hug. You introduced your best friend and they received a hug from Zendaya as well.

“I’m happy you’re here, Tom is a big fan” She said causing you to smile slightly. You wanted to tell her that you were a big fan of his but you couldn’t because Jacob came over and tapped her shoulder,

“Hey Z, we gotta take cast photos” He said looking from her to you, “You came! Awesome, Tom didn’t know if you would since his manager sent out the invite so late” He said smiling at you, you just laughed and waved as him and Zendaya were rushed over to the rest of the cast. You felt slightly embarrassed that everyone was throwing around Tom wanting to meet you like this wasn’t insane news to hear.

Your eyes landed on Tom Holland. The red suit, looked so good on him and you almost lost your breath when you saw him wearing glasses.

“Woah” you audibly said as your best friend’s eyes went to where you were looking, to your horror he turned his attention to you. You both made eye contact and you felt your stomach flip in knots. He was so handsome and he was looking at you. He gave you a smile and turned his attention back to taking photos.

After the group photos it was your turn to walk the carpet. You walked with confidence and smiled at the cameras. You were then joined by your best friend and took pictures together. When you turned to walk to the next picture spot you saw Tom staring at you, you went to smile but he turned away immediately. You watched as he started a new interview with Zendaya and it was your turn to walk past him and get ready to watch the movie. When you were walking past you heard your name being called by Zendaya. You turned and saw her ushering you over to the interview. You tried to not look nervous as you walked over to where the interviewer, Tom and Zendaya were standing smiling at you.

“Hi” You said to Zendaya, you turned to look at Tom and he was blushing. The interviewer laughed and held up her microphone.

“So, Miss (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N), we were just discussing all the different celebrities that are here tonight when Tom Holland let it slip that he was most excited to meet you” The interviewer said holding the microphone over to you, you didn’t know what to say, Tom was now looking at you with a sheepish grin on his face and you giggled into the mic.

“That’s really sweet, I was really happy when I got the invite because I’m a huge Spiderman fan and I think Tom is doing a great job of portraying him” You said smiling at Tom and then the interviewer.

“Ah.. Thank you” Tom said quietly.

“Oh my god he’s so embarrassed, that’s so adorable” Zendaya said reaching out to pinch his cheek, he playfully slapped her hand away causing everyone to laugh.

After a few more questions that the interviewer had managed to loop you into as well, she said “Well thank you for the interview and I can’t wait to watch this film!” she said cheerfully before turning and moving on to interview someone else.

“I’m sorry about that” Tom said to you as you went to turn away, you turned back and made eye contact with him. You smiled and shrugged

“Don’t be, I have wanted to meet you for a while” You said, mentally you were applauding yourself, you couldn’t believe you managed something intelligent out and especially something somewhat flirty.

“Listen, I know we don’t know each other that well but if you would ever wanna get a bite to eat or something I’d love that” Tom said giving you a big smile, you felt your insides once again freaking out and you shook your head

“Yeah, I’d love that.” Tom beamed at you and then glanced down and back up

“You look beautiful tonight, and uh.. listen. there’s this after-party I’m throwing with a few friends and I’d love for you and your friend to come along so we could hang out. Only if you want.” He added the last part hastily

“Oh absolutely, that would be a lot of fun.”

“Great, can I get your number?” He asked, you said yes and he went over to Harrison who had his phone and brought it back to you.

You put your number in and he thanked you. You didn’t have any time after that to chat because everyone was called in to watch Far From Home. Your best friend tugged on your arm when you were in the theater and showed you your phone which they were keeping for you while you took pictures.

You had a new text

“Hey, It’s Tom!”

Another one

“Tom Holland, haha shoulda specified. Anyways, here’s the address for the party. I’m looking forward to seeing you there.”

Another text came in while you were looking at your phone

“And you really do look incredibly beautiful tonight” You smiled at your phone and texted him back

“You look incredibly handsome tonight, I especially love the glasses :)” You looked up just in time to see Tom getting flustered and Harrison laughing as Tom hit his arm. You couldn’t wait for the after-party.

#tom holland #tom holland x reader #peter parker #peter parker x reader #mcu #marvel

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goji-pilled · 3 years

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Okay @princekirijo you want an essay? Well here it is now, or as I like to call it Felix's "Asumari is great and this fandom has no fucking taste" rambling and infodump. Congrats fellas, thanks to Prince you ALL get an asumari essay. But before that I'll try to give you a rundown of Mari and Asuka.

(I'm also so sorry for putting this long ass post on everyone's dashboard)

(Spoiler warning for Evangelion 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time!!)

Alright on one hand we have Mari Illustrious Makinami. Her whole deal? She's a walking ray of sunshine, literally lol. Unlike any other character in the Evangelion franchise she doesn't suffer from her trauma, she's quite literally the only healthy and functioning human being, she's just slightly leaning towards "batshit crazy" with the stunts she pulls 🤷‍♂️. Other than that she just loves living, she loves being with people, she keeps moving forward, stays positive and decides to live life to it's fullest even after she experiences loss and multiple apocalyptic events (Second Impact, Third Impact, etc.) and she really just embodies the joy of living. That's all there is to her, or at least all we know.

On the other hand, we have Asuka Langley Shikinami who is... well it's hard to explain what she is to be honest. She's part-German and part-Japanese and part of a line of clones specifically made with the purpose to pilot an Evangelion and later on be used as a sacrifice to trigger another Impact (ITS COMPLICATED I KNOW-) Asuka is, unlike Mari, very much suffering from her trauma. She doesn't have her parents and has a very deep seated belief that she's completely alone, which she says doesn't matter as long as she can pilot the Eva. She also very much wants to fight and kill angels all by herself, and it's seriously messing with her when she can't achieve that.

Now we get to the more interesting parts (hopefully this so far wasn't too confusing, then again it's Eva and even I can't fully wrap my head around it all LMAO)

In the second Rebuild movie (Evangelion 2.0 You can (not) advance) we get introduced to both of them, Mari's introduction scene (in the original English dub) has her pilot an Eva and singing about how she'll take the world on by herself, while in the third movie's (Evangelion 3.0 You can (not) redo) opening scene she's piloting the Eva again but this time it's together with Asuka (in her own Unit 02 though) and during that Mari sings about how wonderful it is not to be alone. It's nothing big yet, but it's a really cute detail me thinks,,, you know what else I love about them? They bicker and they banter and it's genuinely so fun to listen to shskdhsuwj

(For a quick catch up: During the end of 2.0 Shinji (the protagonist) triggers another apocalyptic event, the Near Third Impact, and was only stopped due to Kaworu (the guy in my pfp) stepping in. Also between 1.0/2.0 and 3.0/3.0+1.0 are about 14 years (without Shinji bc he's like comatose) where A LOT happens AND we learn in 3.0 that Eva pilots don't age physically bc of "The curse of the Eva"... honestly Eva is wild lmao)

Okay okay I'll get back to it!

So one thing that happens is that Asuka during 2.0 develops a crush on Shinji (girl why-), unfortunately things take a turn for the worse. Asuka had volunteered to be the testpilot for a new Eva (Unit 03), she seemed happy at the time and it was a really sweet build up with the "I can smile, I didn't know I could still do that."-line. And then? Then it turns out the Ninth Angel had infected Unit 03 (Angels are basically the Kaijus they fight using Evas btw). The thing goes on a loose and Shinji is forced to fight it (With Asuka inside mind you), he refuses and his father uses an autopilot to destroy Unit 03. And boy did it destroy the angel, well it and it crushed Asuka between its jaws (you can actually hear her scream btw haha pain :)).

Asuka survived though, but the whole incident cost her her humanity and she ended up becoming an angel herself/she took the place of the Ninth. But despite that, there's one person who keeps believing in Asuka's humanity, who fiercely believes Asuka is still a human and tells her as much.

Yep, that one person is Mari and she keeps holding onto that belief until the very end when Asuka uses her last resort, which is using the power of an angel (Doing so was a guaranteed death sentence btw). Mari's own words (in the German dub) were, "Princess, you're giving up being human…" AND IT MAKES ME SO EMO GOD FUCK

While I'm at it, Mari and Asuka are a fucking killer combo as a team. They rely on each other for support in combat, listen to the other's orders and advice. Especially in Asuka's case it's kind of a big deal that she so openly relies and counts on Mari's support. Like these two trust each other with their damn lifes!!! Holy shit!!

Guess what though, they also have nicknames for eachother. Mari always calls Asuka "Princess" or "(Your) Highness" while Asuka calles Mari "Four-eyes" / "Four-eyed chrony (idk how you spell that tbh RIP" Even better though, in the German dub Asuka calls Mari "Brillerella" as in a combination of "Brille" (German for glasses) and "Cinderella",,,,Cinderella and her Prince,,,Brillerella and her Princess,,, man, that was a gay fucking move of the translation team. Spoiler: I owe them my life.

Funfact: There's exactly two times throughout the Rebuild movies where Mari uses Asuka's actual name. These two times being when she watches Asuka "die" and be used as a sacrifice for Gendo's selfish plan and when later on she begs Shinji, "So please the Princess… Asuka needs your help!" And the best part? That wasn't even the first time she did that. The mentioned line came from 3.0+1.0, but she did that too in 3.0 with the, "At least save the Princess!" line (although her tone was much more...pissed, like she was really angry lol)

Remember the crush Asuka had on Shinji? Well due to the Unit 03 incident a whole lot of other shit got mixed into that and her feelings for him in general became really bitter (understandably so). Now Mari being who she is sometimes teases Asuka about said old crush but she really does want Asuka to get closure and sort that mess out.

As an example for the teasing, in 3.0 there's a scene that goes like this (please imagine Mari with a literal :3 face while saying that):

"Unit! Are you back in the game?"

"I'm on it, your Highness. But first things first, how was our little puppy (Shinji)? Did he sit like a good little boy?"

"He's exactly the same! Same stupid face talking mayhem!"

"That goofy face of his, that's what you wanted to see? Riiiiight?"

"Shut up! I went there to bat him one!... And I feel better!"

There's also a very short bonus manga that was released in Japan for Thrice Upon a Time's release that has Mari trying to convince Asuka to come with her on the mission to get Shinji, given everything that follows, it's just another thing to prove my point. And the final bit relating to that is this:

"Feeling better now?"

"Yeah, I do feel better."

That's the exchange Asuka and Mari have after they talked to Shinji, it's nothing special but I think it's really sweet and this time Asuka actually sounded like she was feeling better instead of when she was screaming after she nearly broke pretty thick glass with her fist (If she had hit someone with that much force she definitely would've broken something omggg #violentimpulsesgang)

To get back on track though: I already mentioned it but during the second half of 3.0+1.0 Asuka "dies" (and honestly that entire scene is worth its own in-depth post because its just one huge parallel to The End of Evangelion), the point is: You can tell that the loss of Asuka honestly hits Mari hard. Not only because of how Mari screams Asuka's name but also because of her expressions. They're pained, like really fucking pained and Mari even apologizes to her that she has to fall back due to the fact that she's injured AND because eveything is going wrong.

After the events of Evangelion 3.0 these two got seperated from eachother, Mari was with WILLE (the organization both of them are with) and on board of Wunder (the ship WILLE basically operates from) while Asuka was in a Village full of (Near) Third Impact Survivors. When they do meet again it went like this:

Asuka, barely back, comes to the door and calls, "I'm back." And within seconds of Asuka stepping into their room after the door opens Mari already runs towards her, arms wide open and she says, "Welcome back, your Highness! Good job. I missed you so much!" And she says that while she literally nuzzles into Asuka,,,like,,,what the fuck gay people real!!!

Best part? Asuka clearly has enough strength to push Mari completely away if she were uncomfortable, but she doesn't. Asuka merely wanted enough space to look at the room (because Mari managed to horde even more books lol) and play her game. During their entire renunion Mari keeps hugging her, and part of me thinks that perhaps deep down Asuka actually enjoys the feeling of physical affection.

Before we get to the last point though, let me say that Asuka and Mari have scenes in 3.0+1.0 that parallel Shinji and Kaworu's from 3.0. (Fyi Kaworu loves Shinji (yeah, like that, and 3.0 was basically them being gay as fuck for an hour) so like...do I even need to explain?

And then of course there's also this, the "Take care of yourself, Princess…" line. That is the last time Mari talks to Asuka and as much as that line alone already is so much, it's Mari's expression in particular that kills me. Because this? This soft, almost bittersweet expression she has, as she basically says goodbye? Because she knows Asuka will finally be happy and safe? It just makes me feel so much actually. Man.

In the end it's a fact that Mari loved Asuka, wether that is interpreted as platonic or romantic by someone is up to them. But it is a fact that Asuka was loved enough that someone wanted to hug her, was happy to see her, to praise her, was hurt by her loss, wanted her to be safe, that someone told her "Take care of yourself…" Asuka was really and honestly so loved that someone would tell her, "I missed you."

But Asuka? Asuka was too hurt, too wrapped up in her own head to actually see how loved she was by Mari (and other people) that she genuinely believed she's completely alone and always will be alone.

It makes the "Take care of yourself" line hit even harder to me, because it's not only Mari's goodbye, but it's a goodbye during the one time Asuka allowed herself to be vulnerable and admit what she really wanted.

And honestly? All of this? Its makes me feel so many things and I just love them so much man.

#the felix talk #IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LONG #HDMSGDMDGSJSGEH #3.0+1.0 spoilers

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fkinavocado · 2 years

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https://fkinavocado.tumblr.com/post/693736013751828480/its-going-to-be-a-long-rant-i-am-sorry-i-need-to

Haha 😂 the last para of your answer cracked me up jsjskrksk 🤣 ILY also, I didn't know that he took a stand for Camille and banned fans from his concerts (it made me feel better). Rest I understand your point.

About the reaction of fans and media, trust me Virat's then girlfriend and now wife Bollywood Actor Anushka Sharma has faced even more brutal treatment on Social Media. She was called out on the airport and stadium after India lost the Semifinals of the world cup, the fans (even men) pray for their divorce because they think she brings him bad luck and many more disgusting theories, they even said that she is faking pregnancy 😭 but it's not about her its about my dislike towards men with power and public influence who don't speak against wrong stuff and conveniently stay silent while pretending to be super nice and kind (not targeting H, it's just a general statement)

Also, about Virat's popularity trust me cricket is a religion in Asia and Australia and the population of South Asia is crazy lol he is the fourth most famous athlete in the world after Footballers Ronaldo, Messi and Neymar (check it, or just search him on Instagram or google). I am stating this just to say that he has it worse when it comes to fans and media. The Harry fandom was rightfully angry when the cameras were pointed on him aggressively during that dinner in NYC, but honey with Virat its a common sight, so much so that we (his fans) have normalized it (which is saddening)

again, you are comparing 2 very different media here. it's not just cricketers there, it's also bollywood actors/directors and musicians. people there take fandom to the extreme. it's very different. i know all about anushka etc btw. trust me i'm very well acquainted with how these ppl get mobbed there and how it all works. it's the fans that are different and how obsessed they get. the way harry got mobbed at that dinner is the way these people there get mobbed doing every little thing. you're judging his stardom by these standards and that's why you're getting the impression he's not as popular but i promise you he's even bigger than that. maybe compare him to srk to get a better idea

#ask

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heyheshi · 4 years

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Her

2.8k words

written and uploaded: September 10 - 11, 2020

🌙 - angst

Please like and reblog! Also please don't post my writings anywhere!

I'm sorry this is a bit late, I was really busy the whole day! Also i feel like this isn't too angsty or this isn't as heartbreaking as i wanted it to be haha probably because I'm too tired right now, it's 3:00 am where I live but i really wanted to write it since this concept has been with me since i first started writing and i feel like i can nail it since me and this guy broke up just this last Saturday lol. But idk i don't think i gave this one a justice but please let me know!!

Also i tweeked some of the details of the whole album release as well as the album/song meaning/interpretation itself.

Btw! I'm planning on writing a second part and hopefully a third part which will have a spin off so tell me if you want me to write it!

Stream the songs in BOLD LETTERS AKA THE WHOLE ALBUM.

Masterlist

_________

You're proud. You're so proud of him, so fucking proud of your best friend - your boyfriend. You don't remember the last time you felt like this - you're anxious, excited, scarred - everything and you felt like you might pass out with every tick of the seconds of the clock.

You look like a crazy person. Sitting at the end of the edge of the couch, your foot tapping rapidly along with your ranging mind. Your natural nails now looks awful from how much you've bitten it for God knows how long. Your hair disheveled together with your now wrinkled clothes.

Harry on the other hand looks calm - too calm for your liking and you wanna scream at him for still looking so good even though you know he's also just as tense as you, maybe even more, but you can't. Not on one of the most special occasions in his life.

Tonight is the release date of his second solo album "Fine Line". You couldn't fathom how much sleepless nights he went through just to produce this - along with the crew and you couldn't be any less prideful. Harry has been so hands on, from the tunes, to the lyrics, to the instrumentals, to the photo shoot for the album cover, and even in the promo of the album.

You know everything he went through just to make it to his success right now. All the hardships, the pain, the tears, the laughter, the love - you've been there every step of the way. You never left him like how he left her.

And on that note, you felt like it's unfair if you get to hear the album first. Yes, you're there throughout the making but you never heard all of it. Harry insisted that you listen to the album after he's done recording it and as much as you'd love to, you politely declined and protested to just hear it along with the rest of the world, to which he agreed to.

There's just this thrill you're looking for, the thrill of having something you've wanted for a long time. The desire. The hunger. The yearn of hearing it for the first time after waiting for endless nights.

It's like being away from Harry and waiting in your room, longing for his touch, his kiss, his voice, and his presence and when he comes back - all of those explodes within you and it leaves you with the magical feeling that you couldn't feel anywhere else.

The process has been painful for you. He recorded in a different country and you had to do long distance again. At first it was fine but as the weeks passed, it got harder and harder for the both of you - being away from each other - so H insisted that you flew across the world to join him.

You didn't hesitate to say yes but even then, Harry always stays at the studio for days and comes home only for him to leave again but you understand. It's his work and you knew what you signed up for when you became his girlfriend and you vowed to yourself to fight and do everything you can for this relationship.

He was great though, took you on dates when he can and tried to spend as much time as he can with you because he knows that after the release of his album, the interviews will surely be nonstop and he'll be away again to plan for his promotional tour. You'd wake up with cute notes more often than not, flowers were also delivered almost everyday to where you two are staying.

But you felt it. You felt that he was slowly slipping away. You know it deep inside but you pretended not to notice. Too afraid of being kicked out of this world you created for the two of you. But perhaps he never really slipped away because maybe he was never truly yours in the first place.

Harry is so excited for you to hear his second baby so when the alarm clock went off, he quickly refreshed the website and played the first song. Golden.

You love the vibe. It's only the first song but you know that it'll be added to your personal playlist to jam with. He was looking at you the whole time, gauging your reaction but stayed quiet. The living room's filled with his voice and the lively instrumentals until the outro.

Maybe you're wrong. Maybe he wasn't slipping away and maybe he was truly yours before - and until now. Maybe it was just your mind playing tricks on you. Maybe, just maybe. A fifty - fifty chance for everything you don't know but you didn't let it eat you.

Next, the Watermelon Sugar. It is the song you knew will be a single and will have a music video. Just because you haven't heard the album before doesn't mean it stops Harry from sharing details here and there to you.

Your thoughts ran wild with thought of what the music video could be. The song is everything and you couldn't stop humming along with it and based on your reactions, he knew that he made the right choice of picking it as a single.

He's still yours. He loves you and he never slipped through your fingertips. You're most likely forcing yourself to believe it and so far it's working but you know you have to talk to Harry about the two of you sooner or later because it's not healthy for your health at all - the uncertainty that's currently laying in your persona.

The next two songs - Adore You and Lights Up - are the one's you've already heard before since those are the two that have a music video that came out before his album. Adore You is your favorite song. You're maybe being biased but the song just gives you great energy and you absolutely adored the concept of the video, as well as Harry's looks.

But the Lights Up hits different. You were there when they shoot it but you were sick so you didn't get go watch how they did it and you remembered watching the video for the first time and getting really really bothered by it that Harry had to take you to the nearest ice cream shop to calm you down. Your boyfriend looked so hot in it.

You're enjoying the album so far and you're almost too sure that nothing is wrong - or so you thought. It's silly but for some reason you felt like your relationship lies on this album.

Cherry came next, before, you thought it's gonna be upbeat like the Watermelon Sugar and Kiwi but oh boy, it's the opposite. It's not only the tune. It's the song itself that made you wanna walk out of the room.

You love songs like this, the type of songs that cuts deep within your soul. The type of song that can make you cry instantly but this is different.

You know the song is about her and if it the lyrics wasn't enough to slap you in the face, the voicemail at the end surely did. But this one hits different. Maybe it's because it shows you that Harry is not entirely yours in your relationship and that something inside him longs wants to have her again and it hurts. It crushes you but you're staying strong because like before, it's not certain - a maybe, there's still a chance and you're clinging into that like your life depends on it.

You couldn't look up. You know Harry is watching you. He tried to hide the outro, he almost clicked the button for the next track but you held your hand as a sign to stop. He couldn't hide it from you. The outro is still ringing in your ears like it's coming to get you. You can't. You just simply can't. Her voice with his giggles made you wonder what's running through his mind when he decided to put the voicemail.

You tried to hold your emotions and waited for the next song to start but it didn't get any better. Falling made your tears fall, finally. And when your boyfriend asked you if you're okay, the only response you told him was that, "you were so good with this it's making me really emotional", and he bought it.

He bought your lie. You don't know if you shall be happy or not. Happy because you wouldn't need to explain yourself further or sad because Harry believed it instantly without even asking if you're really okay for the second time.

The chorus hits different. You're baffled at how much emotion he put in that particular song. It felt so wrong but you couldn't do anything about it. You're sad. You're hurt. You don't know what will happen next. So you did what you do best - pretend that everything is alright.

Your mind was absent through the next two songs - To Be So Lonely and She. You still can't get over from the previous songs and it guilt you that you couldn't appreciate these songs as much as it shall be appreciated. All you know is that if Harry made it, it's fucking incredible.

He did mention to you in a low voice that To Be So Lonely is one of his favorites and oh you fucking wonder why but you didn't say it out loud, you kept quiet and pretended that you're analyzing every second of the song. And when he told you that She could be added to your love-making playlist, you only nodded.

The thought of it being added to your love-making playlist sickens you to the core specially now that you're almost too certain that this one is also about her, though you didn't reprimanded.

You tried to compose yourself along with the next song Sunflower, Vol. 6. You faked being happy just for the sake of this day. Yes, it is a happy and loving song but you couldn't enjoy it without overanalyzing the lyrics and the same goes to the next song Canyon Moon.

Who is the "Sunflower" Harry is referring to? You or her? Who will he be coming home to? Will he come running into your arms or will he seek warm in her presence? You hate to question it and you hate feeling this way but you're far too deep and you just wanted to get this night over.

Treat People with Kindness reminded you of your childhood cartoon theme songs and it eased you out. It also made you smile for the first time since Cherry and you could tell that Harry's relieved. It was the first time you looked up from the carpet and you almost thought that the next song is your saving grace. It's the final song anyway.

And it is. The only problem is that the song is you right now. Fine Line. The chorus kept repeating and it made you question your relationship. Is your relationship a fine line? Will the two of you be alright?

Thank God it's the last song because you couldn't wait to ask Harry something that really bothered you tonight. You need to know for your sake and for the sake of this relationship.

You'll be lying if you said you only shed a tear on the last song. No, you sobbed and Harry tried to console you and asked what's wrong and its now or never.

Harry beat you to speaking first though, he asked you why did you cried and you only told him, "I'm so proud of you and I couldn't stop my tears from flowing and I love you so much.", which is not a lie but not the whole truth either.

He only nodded and kissed your forehead as a way of saying his thanks. You're certain that he can feel that you're tired so he chooses to stay quiet and you know that he's already planning for a day off for the both of you tomorrow so you can properly tell him your thoughts on his album.

You we're about to ask him. Ask him if he still loves her but the tune of his phone ringing made you stop. He silently asked you if it's alright to answer it and you agreed.

The next few minutes was his friends and families calling and congratulating him. You don't wanna be bitter or be a mood disruptor but you just really want to think and be alone right now, after all, you deserved it. You signed Harry that you will go upstairs to take a rest and he whispered "I love you" but you only nodded and started walking to the stairs.

He didn't notice that you didn't say it back. He was too caught up with the people on his screen. His cheerful voice rang throughout the ground floor as he talks to the other person on the other line.

You don't wanna think about it as you lay down on your shared bed but you couldn't stop thinking about how much of a possibility for her to call him to congratulate him for the success of his second album. You couldn't stop thinking of how they might talk about their relationship. You couldn't stop thinking if Harry will ask her to come back if she did call. You couldn't stop thinking.

You took your phone from your beside table to open Twitter. Harry and his album is trending and praises after praises we're posted in different languages but most of those are about them. Harry and her.

You're numb.

It is now clear to you that the whole album is about her. You never asked or wished to have a song written about you but you also never expected him to dedicate the album solely to her, his ex from two years ago. You get it, you really do. The best songs came from the writers' personal experiences but to basically tell the world that he still wants her breaks you into pieces.

There gotta be at least one line about you. You, the one he is with now and not her. You, the one who's loving him now, not her. You, the one who didn't leave him unlike her. It's you and not her.

But no matter how much you repeat it in your mind, you know it's not you. You love Harry and you tried. Tried supporting him through the day much like all the other days but it's so hard when the universe already shot you with the truth.

You're still proud of him, it will never change but you need something. You have to have something to hold on to because right now you're only grasping to this very little hope that might save your relationship. You're proud but hurt and you hate yourself for not being there. None of it is about you. It's about her. Her and him. Her and Harry. Never you and Harry.

He never even warned you that the album is about her, it seems like he wanted to surprise you but you know he's not cruel but maybe you're just trying to defend him from yourself.

Or maybe he didn't thought you'd think this way. After all he doesn't put meanings behind his songs so you couldn't really get any answer from having him explain to you every song.

Your own interpretation's more than enough though. He still wants her. Maybe he did became yours even just for a second but his love for her is eternal and so he slipped away. You couldn't pretend anymore - not now when you're alone and you can show your emotions, so you sobbed.

You cried for you and Harry. You cried for what you thought was something so beautiful and unbreakable. You cried for what would've been a great night for the both of you and last but not the least, you cried for your uncertain tomorrow.

Tomorrow when you wake up, you don't know if Harry still wants you, you don't know if you can fix this, you don't know if you can still be with him.

Now, you realized it. Tomorrow there might be nothing, no world where only the two of you exists because tomorrow might be the end. The thought of that made you cried harder than you already are. It's so unfair. You love him so much but it doesn't seem enough and no matter how many excuses you naïvely say to yourself, you know it couldn't change the fact that it's her and him - it has always been her and him.

You're too tired and just wanted to sleep, hopefully get a clearer view out of all of this when you wake up.

_____

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