#sorry about my rant paragraph

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

i've never even seen the show First is from and yet i love your First x Chase Young ship so i have to ask. If anything did HAPPEN between the two of them what sort of emotions would they be dealing with afterwards?

Wow, this is such an unexpectedly nice compliment for me? Cause it means, you are a Chase/XS fan, who saw my crack ship and went 'I don't know what's going on, but I enjoy your silly little ship, funny crossover shipper.' and you know what? It's very nice and made me happy. ;) Thank you!

And well who said nothing ever happened between them lol IF anything happened between those two (be it emotional or physical ;3), their default way of dealing it would be DENIAL DENIAL DENIAL, in similar but also in slightly different ways.

Chase Young is a man who seemingly doesn't do softer emotions. Any possible feelings and reactions who could be attributed to him actually caring about First Ninja, are re-labeled in his head into him doing all of this because he is trying to manipulate First on his side (and he totally still is, but he also now wants to feed that man, talk with him during long evenings and perhaps take a nap with him, you know, disgusting cute domestic stuff amidst oh i dunno- taking over the world and being evil together. >;))

First Ninja on the other hand, is very much aware that for things to go this far means that he is absolutely having emotions about Chase. But he is also in denial, because how can he betray all of his moral standing and beliefs, if he starting to care about someone like Chase Young? So he shoves it so far deep, he is in denial about denial, and turns completely blind to anything even resembling them being something more than opponents who tentavely respect one another.

[reco-obsessed]

on a more serious note with the "reko being jealous that alice is more normal" fact, its probably just an oversight, but it does make me think.

most likely, reko is viewing it from more of a child-star view point, wherein she was forced from a young age to be in the public eye and her brother was sheltered from that. there's also the whole "our mom was weird" comment which always kinds of stands out to me; if she was weird enough, both of them may have a skewed view of whats considered "normal". third point, it may be a matter of reko confusing "enjoyable to be around" with "normal", if we think about how reko had issues pushing people away before*. but im also wondering if his personality was different before he spent time in jail. murder is a very serious charge and prison has completely different functions than the outside world, so if we view alice as someone who was before somewhat reserved but amiable (maybe even with people-pleasing tendencies? needs citation) beforehand, it makes sense that'd he'd have gone off the wall a little bit as a reaction to being in such a drastically different environment- and thats not even considering stuff like the effects of solitary confinement, which if he did undergo wouldve left some scars mentally and change the way he might interact with people. we also dont know how his case was handled in court, aka how severe his charges are; could he have had a life sentence? i doubt death row, since thats something i feel would have come up at some point if that were so. even if it wasnt for life, he probably was expecting to spend decades in prison, and would have very little reason to try and stay acclimated to the outside world since he'd be in prison for the long run. its not impossible all of this could coalesce into us seeing a much more guarded and less well socialized version of alice. he probably still had his eccentricities before, of course, but maybe he was even just a little bit better at hiding them or using them to his advantage. *may only apply to band members

[riiviir]

hey guys so I just started reading Flatland by Edwin A. Abbott and OMG AHSBNSBSBSNSNBSHZHSHDBFHGGHFHGRJ2KSHSBSNSK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THINKING ABOUT THE RELATIVITY BETWEEN DIMENSIONS!!!!!!

[doctorodyssey]

i do think it's funny that there are about 5% more people on that poll who selected "i am not queer and i like tommy" than "i am queer (but not a man) and i dislike tommy"

[bibiana112]

Kinda weird question- do you have any links to people talking about Mira from ZTD and ableist stereotypes? I mentioned that I was uncomfortable with her portrayal but kinda fumbled it and made some other ND people in chat uncomfortable. I searched for various keyword combinations but most of what I'm finding is like "and not to mention the ableism with Mira" and doesn't elaborate lol.

Not weird at all! And uh, you see, there's a recent post I made where what I complain about is the very fact I've never seen anyone post too in-depth about her at all, I'd love to see posts that do elaborate on that but I do not have any that I know of right now, sorry :/ hopefully someone else who sees this can point to one? Okay!! After some tag searches I have found exactly one post who kind of gets into it I like this take still would love to see. more than just one but hooray

And like though I complain I couldn't elaborate much on it myself I don't think, I believe most of the posts people make about Saito from aitsf would apply since it's a different uchikoshi take on the very same trope of "emotionless characters who cannot function without killing others" I guess he's a worse portrayal though since she's at least not stated to get reward brain chemicals when killing people and I guess her case also has the added layer of "femme fatale" to it? Which either makes it less bad or worse depending on where you approach it from As I said I am not doing a good job of being coherent on this oh and also there's her being "redeemed" and "cured" in the epilogue which in on itself is kinda not great to imply it just goes away like that and honestly I personally don't even buy it I think she'd just be like oh okay Akane over here has like a thousand reasons to hate me after all that oh and what's that she's the leader of a super wealthy underground organization who's organized one of these death traps before yeah no I'm better off going to prison I'll be fine there lmao bye

But I'll say as an autistic person with relatively low empathy I usually see a character who just doesn't understand other people's feelings and wants to feel them too and is just trying to survive despite getting no help and I just kinda go hm. yeah. shout-out to roxas kingdom hearts shout out to mary from ib shout out that's why I started hyperfixating on media art helps me with understanding others a great lot and Mira is just in a story too badly executed for me to care or even begin to wrap my head around tbh like god she's so fucking terribly used as a plot device in every conceivable way that it makes it difficult to see past it and into what she could possibly be if it weren't for the stereotype of equalling low empathy with no compassion what's with her killing off screen in ways that wildly deviate from her stated m.o? why or how was she even in cahoots with Zero why was that a thing? Honestly her dynamic with Sean could have been better fleshed out could have done something interesting about robot child and his aspd big sis but we just kind of don't get any attention brought to the subject of emotions and the authenticity there of except for the "reveal"...

YOU KNOW WHAT that's probably one huge reason it feels so fucked up actually! Like the whole fucking game is written so you could experience it in whatever order you want and therefore Mira being a serial killer at all is something that though not very well hidden it also cannot be a topic of discussion or explored Ever ever because the player may not have seen the fragment where that is revealed yet- problem being the menu design of that game sucks so bad and practically everyone gravitates towards the same few more interesting looking thumbnails first and then the rest is kinda just there, I mean that is part of the reason A Lot of characters feel half-baked I think but also I think it definitely does impact perception of her character specifically probably The Most and then there's just the general not being given nuance not being able to see the minutiae of how that disorder manifests in her character aside from the killings about how she acts aside from being overly flirty trying to lure in Eric but that affects pretty much all of the new cast we don't have last names and in her case we barely have any backstory at all like Saito is a harmful stereotype sure but we get So Much Context for him that people still love talking about him and delving into different aspects of his life since we have that very well telegraphed in the narrative meanwhile for Mira all we can do is fill in the blanks guesswork that only highlights the worst aspects of the surface level portrayal we got and ultimately that people just don't care enough to dissect because there isn't much there character wise once you remove it

[akascow]

just watched 21 jump street and looked up the cast bc thats what i do when i watch movies and found out that there was a tv show also named 21 jump street that the movie was a kinda sorta but not really sequel to the show and that the random cameo with johnny depp at the end was in fact not a random famous comedic actor cameo at all bc he was like the main character in the original tv show and that led me down a weird rabbit hole (incoming pun not intended) and learned about the other cops in that show one of them being Judy Hoffs which if youre like me ur former disney brain immediately connected that to Judy Hopps from zootopia and looked it up to see if it was intentional and apparently the name (and job) similarities were not supposed to be a reference on the zootopia team's part and its "just a play on how rabbits jump" and they were "unaware of the 21 jump street character when naming judy" which i think is some pretty big bullshit because theres no way a character who's first name is Judy and last name is hopps (spelled with two P's the way hoFFs is spelled) and just so happens to also be a young and brand new cop is just a crazy random coincidence

[catastrxblues]

hi so i just finished bridge to terabithia and now i’m unwell and my eyes are red because i’ve been crying before i’d even reached 20 minutes of it for i actually knew what was going to happen and by the time i reached an hour something something i just straight up sobbing screaming into my pillow. and now it’s 12 am and i’m still thinking about them. because god, look at them, how they were, the little world they lived in, wouldn’t you just love that, to run away, to escape, to grasp that childhood naivety and innocence that you lost a long time ago, to feel the sun in your skin and the air in your lungs and to paint fantasies and laugh and play and run hidden away from the world and find an old run down tree house and decided to make it your own little shelter and pin up canvases on the worn wood and paint and let your creativity goes wild and have someone understand you and gets you and do it with you, and wouldn’t you just love to have something so constant, so sincere, so genuine, so pure, so real, that there wasn’t anything else. if i knew i was going to cry this much, if i knew how much space this movie would make in my life, i wouldn’t have started this movie tonight. i would have been in peace on the floor of my room, not realizing how badly i actually want something like this even though i would never unironically admit this to anyone in my life or even myself when i’m outside of the familiar place of my mind, for that matters

[that-was-anticlimactic]

there’s something so sacred about sharing what you love with others: whether it be a song or food or clothes, a show or a movie or pictures. it's just... such a deep and personal thing, you know? having someone carve out a little part of their heart and gift it to you with an abundance of joy and excitement and passion... yeah.

[lunavagans]

Even the non-fantasy worldbuilding in loz is generally illogical, but now that I‘m thinking about the Gerudo Towns from OoT and BotW for an AU, it just makes me so unreasonably angry.

In Oot, there are only the two buildings: the Spirit Temple, which is religious, and religious buildings sometimes just have impractical structure. That‘s alright, it just be like that. (It doesn‘t justify the monsters, though.) But the only other gerudo building is the fortress. Which doesn‘t make sense. It contains cells, hallways and a dining hall. Obviously Not Good for living in. Where do they sleep? Where do they get food from? (Of course, you could count that hide-out with the poe, but doesn’t it just add to my point? They have that one hideout/resting point and it’s haunted and nobody says anything about it.) But that‘s not even what I‘m mad about.

In BotW, it‘s better in the way that it‘s now easy to imagine how they go about their lives. They live in the town, they get into contact and trade with the outside world in the bazaar. Cool. But the problem I have is. Why are those places where they are. Sure, it‘s understandable why the bazaar is where it is; at an oasis and a short distance from the last resting place before the desert, it‘s about as easy to reach for people not used to the desert as can get. But the town? I thought they were militaristic to an extend. I thought they‘d consider attacks more. I THOUGHT THEY KNEW THAT ONE BODYGUARD DOES JACKSH*T WHEN YOU CAN SNEAK INTO THE THRONE ROOM FROM THE DESERT ITSELF TO MURDER THE QUEEN. WITHOUT ANY OTHER GUARDS INBETWEEN.

Why did they build their one place, where everyone from toddler to grandma lives, in the open desert, far away from the icehouse? Why not at a mountainside? Would‘ve saved materials for walls, you could use the same amount for four walls to instead build less and reinforce them, you could‘ve burrowed into the mountain as a bunker (which I guess they now did anyway), or for I DUNNO ice storage. THEY WOULDN‘T HAVE TO HAVE GUARDS ON ALL SIDES. IT MAKES ME ANXIOUS. In case enemies manage to get into the town, those incapable of fighting could flee towards the mountain. You could dig a tunnel for fleeing. They could‘ve gone into mining if hard times hit. They would‘ve had some more solid ground, maybe they could‘ve done some farming, maybe some trees. Depends on if there’s actual dirt or just Rock.

Of course, enemies could climb above the town and swarm downwards, overwhelming it… yeah. But I think undercover missions might pose the only problem, conveniently with the yiga being the closest enemies. However, the gerudo never were a large folk, they probably know each other from birth to death, especially since children seem to be rare anyway. They would know at first glance if someone impersonated them or pretended to be their own persona (gerudosona?) and as for hylian travellers? Suspicious acitivity would be caught eventually, as well as a swell in foreigners arriving and not leaving, and the yiga wouldn‘t be able to stage a large infiltration. Given, there would be a chance with small-scale operations. Nobody blinks an eye at a single person, no matter who they are, as long as they appear to be ordinary. But otherwise, enemies would have to attack from the front. (And from then on it would depend on how well the gerudo can bear the brunt and retaliate. Which I can‘t judge. I‘m not that into miliatry strategy.) And this is just the immediate defense for the town itself. The canon gerudo patrol the entire desert, I think it‘s easy to move the focus from desert to mountain range, and then that thing with enemies accumulating above wouldn‘t really happen without notice!

Just. Why smack in the middle of open nothingness. Heck, even on top of some ruins would make more sense, because WHY WERE THOSE RUINS ABANDONED? If there was no reason, then they should‘ve been maintained and updated with the times. They could have multiple settlements by now that way.

[punkalope]

Shoutout to my dad who seems absolutely hellbent on making sure I never talk to him again as soon as I can cut him off. christ.

Back when I ended up in the hospital for a minor injury in early may both my parents told me not to worry about the bill and they'd handle it. So I did that. I let them handle it. I did what they asked to set things up and let them handle it, especially because I lost my ability to work at the end of the month.

turns out my dad had no intention of even looking at the bills. he hasnt done anything with them. im so. frustrated. he said "no one told him" (im positive this isnt true).

this isnt asking for help or anything its. fine. my mum and i are sorting it out and i got this. im just so beyond stressed now lol. its not a big bill, my parents are still gonna help now that my mum has scolded him, ill have to pay the rest myself but i dont think its very much im just stressed over the lack of control.

and he keeps doing little things that make me so mad too. not calling me his kid for some reason anymore. accusing me of being "difficult" because im asking questions. not saying goodbye or i love you to me when he leaves for week long trips but very loudly doing so to my brothers in front of me. and then hes constantly putting me in positions where i have to depend on him, because he controls so much of my life, and then throwing me under the bus anyways because he doesnt do it because he cares.

[houseofwolvess]

guess whose sideblog is apparently being targeted by a fucking pedo/zoophile 😐

[lois-thegreat]

now tell me why my fifth grade best friend’s sister is dating the guy that stalked me in junior year

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

Ooo look the spelling/grammar police!!

People are so weird “my heart beats faster when you are around and I get all hot and bothered” sound alike your allergic honey

[rigelmejo]

my guy your text blocks are insane every time i see your posts about resources i want to read it bjt one paragraph takes up more than my entire tablet acreen!!!! theyre so long!!!! and so few paragraphs!!!!! so few section headers!!!!!!! help condense for people who keep getting confused!!!!!!!!!!

Tldr: I'm really bad at shutting up and summarizing, I'm probably not ur cup of tea tbh, there's a lot of awesome blogs and sites (and books) that do much better jobs of summarizing and explaining. I am not very good at it.

Hi anon. I get what you're saying. My posts are probably not your cup of tea. There's other people saying similar tips who, unlike me, know how to summarize extremely well and plan out their posts in advance. The stuff i note down in this blog for the most part can be found in other places, shorter. And the stuff not on other blogs is mostly just my personal experience notes for me to reference later to track prprogress, or for someone like me who might wanna check someone's experiences and note if it's giving them any ideas for personal study/to compare to other ppls experiences they've seen etc. So tldr my posts are totally skippable. Unless ur super into personal experiences sharing, in which case language learning forums like those below may have some ppl who can summarize better than me (and some who ramble too):

https://www.chinese-forums.com/forums/forum/2-learning-chinese/

I'm gonna be real with you, I'm suck at summarizing concisely, it's why I was never on twitter. And this blog is primarily my study notes blog so I just ramble trail of thoughts I'd like to be able to find later. The goal is to post fast before I forget, not necessarily to clean it up as a nice guide on a personal site (though I can find and link a few if you're looking for particular learning style site guides, since I like to read those and find those online ToT).

I do need to put more readmore's in future posts though so unsuspecting browsers don't run into a 10 page post ToT. I can do that quickly, will be doing that in future so ppl don't run into walls of text.

[fuiru]

A 44 year old man goes to a K-Pop Concert

I promised you a report on the K-pop concert that I, a 44-year-old accountant, went to a couple of weeks ago with my wife and daughter in Toronto. So here it is.

The band we saw were Ateez. They're my daughter's favourite band and my wife's second favourite. I know most of my mutuals are similarly aged like me and may not be familiar with them so let me give you a brief primer on Ateez.

Imagine the most attractive eight men you can think of, just unfathomably beautiful specimens of aesthetic perfection, and make them sing songs that somehow combine the subjects of 'dancing like nobody is watching' with 'we live in a dystopian hellscape that we must all work together to overthrow'. Give them an ongoing music video story lore that literally nobody - not even the band themselves - understand, so that online discussion of their visual motifs looks more like the fevered rantings of a conspiracy theorist, complete with speculation about alternate realities and time being a Moebius strip. There is also a giant sand timer, for some reason.

That's Ateez. That's what you need to know.

Now, K-pop concerts are very different to the gigs I've been going to for the last 28 (!) years. There's no support act, for a start. Also the band perform for like, three hours, with breaks for costume changes and interpretive dance. Furthermore, hanging above everything is the constant looming threat of mandatory military service.

So this being my first such concert, I wasn't sure what to expect. What happened was difficult to explain, but I will try as I am already six paragraphs into this write-up and I'm too invested to stop now. Here goes:

In his Wicked + Divine comics series, Kieron Gillen places modern pop icons as deities, feeding upon and gaining strength from the worship of their fans at the altar of musical performance. I thought I understood that metaphor. I thought I understood it AS a metaphor. I was wrong, because that night Ateez WERE Gods with a capital G and we were their worshippers, a crowd emanating adoration (in the religious and non-religious senses), bestowing strength upon them and gaining their strength in return.

If that sounds weird, it probably is. But as pointed out above, I have lived over four decades and never yet experienced anything like the overwhelming passion of that crowd, the utter abandon with which they conveyed their love for the band.

"But Fuiru, what of the actual music?" you ask. Thinking back, there was a moment in one of their songs - I can't remember which - where I watched the stage, and the people around me, taking it in, and I thought, "Man, I just love Music". But that doesn't answer your question, sorry.

Ateez's music is bloody great. As a tiresome indie/rock/metal kid I'm resisting the urge to add the usual tiresome indie/rock/metal caveat of "...for pop music" because honestly that does it a disservice. They have some genuinely amazing songs. Halazia is an absolute fucking masterpiece that descends into furious hardcore breakbeat. Bouncy is a big, brash racket that somehow is also a perfect pop song. Utopia, Wonderland, and Guerrilla are similarly superb. The obligatory boy band slow number is represented by Dancing Like Butterfly Wings which will make you cry because you will forever associate it with your twelve year old daughter being pointed to and waved at by her favourite Ateez member (Seonghwa) because of her Seonghwa-branded lightstick.

That might just be me, though.

So in summary: being a 44 year old dad at his first K-pop concert rules and you should endeavour to partake in the experience if the opportunity arises.

Finally, for any Atiny reading this: my bias would be San or Seonghwa but my wife and daughter said they were taken so it’s Mingi. My concert outfit (designed and created by my offspring) reflects this.

[redflowersociety]

Saying “I Love You” for the first time. - Mouthwashing HC

These are written with the pretense that… THEY LIKE U BACK!! (Except for Swansea cause he’s married…sorri) THIS WAS SO PAINFUL CAUSE I WAS WRITING THEM IN PARAGRAPHS AND THEN… boom. 1000+ words lost. Never writing on tumblr again, rookie mistake. Anyways, enjoy!! Promise next post will be higher effort

Curly (Pre-Crash)

He’s quick to make a teasing comment on your unprofessionalism, confessing to your captain and all. But he’s honestly super flustered and trying not to grin like a kid on Christmas Day.

He takes a moment to sit with it. It’s likely that you two would have made advances toward each other for a while, as Curly is the type to take things slow if he’s serious. After a year of pining, you two were finally dating! But hearing those words from your lips brought him to such happiness because he knew you meant it unconditionally, without expecting anything from him.

After this instance, it became common practice for both of you to remind the other of your love. Curly had never been a “words-of-affirmation” kind of guy, but this was an exception. “I love you” turned into his favorite phrase, as it was the perfect way to release the tension building in his heart from just how badly he had fallen for you.

Curly (Post-Crash)

He honestly couldn’t believe that you could stomach looking at him, let alone still sit with romantic feelings for him. It brought him to tears when he heard it, unable to comprehend how somebody could show him such boundless affection and care. He wasn’t used to unconditional love.

He forced himself through the immense pain to slur the words back, and that’s when you began to cry. He forced it out again and again, until you convinced him through pleading not to speak. You knew how much it hurt him, so you assured him that knowing was enough. You didn’t need the reassurance.

Upon your return to Earth, Curly not only had surgeries to make his face a little more structurally sound, but he had attended speech therapy to make up for the years he spent in near silence. One of the first things he learned was your name, and then “I love you.” It brought you to tears hearing it again for the first time in so long. It was okay though, as he could hold you in his scarred arms as long as you needed to cry it all out.

Daisuke

At first, he thought you were being silly. “Aww, I love you too,” he giggled. It wasn’t until you spoke up again with a more serious tone that he realized, and you swear you’d never seen a man turn red so fast. He was so taken aback, asking you at least five times if you were serious and if you were sure. Once his nerves were satisfied, he returned the gesture.

“I love you too. Like a lot, a lot. Soooo much. Like, I really thought I was tweaking out or something from like, the way my whole body would go numb around you and my brain would get fuzzy-“ his drawn out explanation on how his romantic feelings for you overwhelmed him made you laugh. Within the next day, you two were dating.

Even before you two got together, Daisuke ranted to anybody who would listen about just how perfect you were. Now? Oh, man. Swansea has been really considering throwing him out into space after hearing about your confession for the twentieth time from his loud-ass mouth.

Anya

It was honestly a relief to her that you had said something first. She had been trying her best to stay professional, but seeing you all the time, your smile and laugh, the way you spoke passionately about what you loved; it made it harder every day as she fell further for you. You were one of the first people she grew close to on the Tulpar, and the first she went to when Jimmy… did what he did. The trust between you both was ample and strong.

She was quick to say it back, like it was a breath of air she’d been holding in way too long and needed out. You two laughed from the sheer relief on her face, teasing her thoroughly about it. She didn’t hesitate to grill you right back for being the one who confessed first. It shut you up pretty fast. You both agreed within the hour to start dating!

There were mixed reactions among the crew. Some extremely supportive, and then some straight up bitter and resentful (Jimbo). Jimmy began to treat you especially cruelly, and you refused to stand by and let it happen. Curly also helped to defend you when he could, seemingly coming to his senses about Jimmy’s behavior. You could tell that Anya felt intense guilt for your pain, but you assured her that it wasn’t her fault. It was your decision to date her knowing everything you did. You were happy by her side. She certainly cried over that privately, completely enamored.

Swansea

Swansea is married, so he knew to take your words in a familial sense. He didn’t return it, saying something like, “You’d better kid. With all I do for you.” But when you him on his lonesome in the utility room? Yeah, he smiled about it.

f you had a bad childhood due to your parents, Swansea could tell pretty quick. He never considered it his problem, but even still, he took you under his wing with Daisuke. He wanted to give you guidance in the ways he knew how. You deserved that, at least. He would go out of his way to help you when you needed, mostly with solving practical problems. He had never been the most emotionally aware, but he tried with you. He figured even if he couldn’t assist you much, it’d be good practice for his daughter on the way.

That’s not to say he never had any advice. He struggled to comfort, but he was quick to pick up on your mistakes and told you the blatant truth. You appreciated that, even if he was harsh at times, cause it helped you become a better person.

Jimmy

Your confession was certainly an ego boost, but nothing past that. He couldn’t believe that you could say something like “I love you” to someone like him without there being pity behind it. Even still, he returned the gesture because he knew that getting with you would make you so much easier to use. He took the opportunity.

The entire crew, aside from you two, were completely flabbergasted when they found out you two were together. Swansea was quick to ask “Why,” hoping to understand the reason behind such a horrible decision on your part. He didn’t get a good answer from you. Anya felt such pity for you, sure that a good person like you had been manipulated into that position. Even still, she couldn’t help you without putting herself in danger, so she kept her distance.

After the crash, Jimmy took out all his frustrations on you in private through abuse: sexual, physical, verbal, and however else he felt in the moment. Nobody was confused when you started wearing more covering clothes beneath your uniform. Swansea was the only one to really step up against Jimmy when he found that he was hurting you. You had to beg Swansea not to kill Jimmy for that alone, and even still, jimmy got a beating. Daisuke checked on you as much as possible, worrying constantly for your well being. Curly found your relationship to be one more thing to feel guilt over, as he once again couldn’t do a single thing to protect somebody from him.