#sorry I just saw these and just had to post
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
parfaitblogs · 19 hours ago
Note
i NEED a angst fic (with a happy ending ofc) based on tolerate it by taylor swift please 🙏 big chance it’s been done before though and im just the most unoriginal bitch ever
tolerate it ❀ s. reid x reader
in which spencer reid gets out of prison, and you baselessly feel like your relationship is growing increasingly one sided.  pairing: spencer reid x reader genre: angst tags: post prison reid. neglectful bf spencer reid. happy (open) ending. communication yippee. themes of self doubt in reader. mentions of spencer not eating.  word count: 2k a/n: writers block isn't real you just need to watch criminal minds season 12 episode 13 'spencer' and then listen to tolerate it on repeat for three hours straight. iiii know human beings don't talk in long monologued speeches but for the sake of my sanity let us pretend i am shakespeare and spencer reid is my leontes. plzzzz tell me if u liked this or if u didn't yay thank u ily
i sit and watch you. i notice everything you do, or don't do. (lines 3–4)
A fork scrapes against ceramic. It emits a scratching sound that hurts your ears, and you're cringing from your curled up position on the couch as you hear it. Silverware shines beneath the bright, warm glow of his kitchen light, his food barely dented as he pushes it around his plate. 
He's been playing with it since he sat down to eat it. 
You're not too sure what's going through his head as he takes barely there bites of a meal you cooked. You don't think you want to know. But it takes him all of twenty three minutes to come to the same conclusion he made last night, and every other night before that. That he isn't going to eat any more of the food, and just like his fork, his chair scrapes against the floor as he stands. 
He wraps the plate in aluminium foil, the crinkling of metal being your only indicator that he has plans to eat it later. At least, that's what you hope. 
When he disappears into the bedroom, you follow him. Like a lovesick puppy, you're trailing after him, and your chest feels hollow with how embarrassing it all is. 
He doesn't know you're watching him, though. 
At least, not to the extent you are. He's field trained enough to know that you're keeping an eye on him, but your silence is only indicative of you giving him the space he so politely asked for three days ago. He's not in his right mind to assume you're silent for any other reason, and you've battled to a loss with the thoughts of letting him into your disaster of a brain. 
He doesn't need to know that.
The ensuite door shuts behind him, and you hear the water turn on minutes later. You take the cue to curl up on your side of the bed, your fingers toying with the paper edges of a book you now had in your lap. The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, for you were rediscovering your love for children's novels amongst this trying time between you and Spencer. 
"Hey, did you buy me more shampoo?"
Your head lifts at the voice, the snowy Narnia world you had built in your brain shattering in an instant, as you're met with the dull colours of Spencer Reid's bedroom, and a showered and dressed Spencer Reid standing only a few feet away. His bedroom hadn't always been dull. Really, nothing had actually changed artistically within it to make it dull. But there's something about no longer laughing in a room once filled with so much love that mutes its vibrance. 
"Yeah," you say, dog-earing the page you were on and slipping it onto the nightstand. "I saw you were running low."
His lips part as he exhales, and you hate that you can tell he's pushing away something snippy. It wasn't that he was actively trying to start fights with you, but his temper has grown short, and he has more anger in his heart than before. 
"You didn't get the right one, that's all."
And though it isn't said rudely, your chest opens up like a black hole regardless, and a thick ball of emotion lodges in your throat.
"I'm sorry," you force past your lips, despising the hollow sound of your sad voice, and the fact that he notices it. His eyebrows frown towards each other at the sound of you, and he takes a step towards the bed.
It's pathetic, right? To be this upset over him letting you know the thing you bought him wasn't correct. In that almost fake sounding soft, kind voice he has when he is trying to keep his unnecessary frustration at bay. 
But it wasn't like this was the first time you'd done something for him in recent, and been told you did it wrong, instead of simply being thanked. Acts of service he was finding problems within no matter what they were, each new critique chipping away at the scales of your self confidence. You don't even think he's meaning to do it.
Every time this happens, memories of the other times flash violently in your head, reminding you that he could not find the beauty of being cared for by you the way he had before this. This, this thing you were barely even able to string the letters of together, because it seemed so foreign and faraway to you. Spencer Reid in prison is not a sentence that makes sense in this — or any other — timeline. You don't think it ever will. And yet.
You'd cooked him meals every single day since he got out. Meals he'd barely ever touch, wrap in foil, then put in the fridge for his work lunch the next day. You don't know if he's even eating them at work, or if he's just taking them there to throw them out. You've been too scared to reach out to any of his team members to ask. Knowledge is power, but knowledge makes his negligence all too real. 
There's a fear in calling it negligence. It isn't fair of you to expect the same man before and after prison, and you know he's dealing with more than you can fathom. You were prepared for distance. 
Just not this much.
The submerged sound of your name tugs you from your thoughts, and suddenly Spencer is closer than he was before, and he's repeating your name over and over in calling. Once you rapidly blink and shake your head, he determines you've returned to Earth, and he's falling silent again. There's concern knitting his eyebrows together, and he's got his hands hovering in the air, as if he's reaching for you, but second guessing himself at the same time. 
"Whats going on in your brain?" he asks you after a few beats of the two of you just staring at each other. 
Like a dam breaking, his question triggers an onslaught of emotions, and every fear and insecurity you've had inside you spills out.
"I feel like you suddenly hate me," your eyes rapidly search the duvet in front of you for your words. "Or—or I annoy you with my presence? Or my care? I mean, I try to do things for you and you barely even spare them a second glance, or thought. You barely talk to me anymore outside of updating me on your schedule. We sleep with miles of distance between us," you gesture to the bed beside you. "I cook you meals you don't eat, I wash your clothes you don't fold. Both of which are things that I'm fine with, because I can't imagine how skewed your appetite is, and I—I know laundry is a trigger now. But there is not even a slight hint of you—you being thankful. You know, appreciative. I feel like I'm following you around like a servant, and I'm doing things with no gratitude in return. I'm doing things I shouldn't have to, because I'm your girlfriend. Not your maid. But they are things that I want to do, because I care for you, and I love you," you pause, a self deprecating smile appearing on your face. "And—and you haven't even told me you love me since the day we got you home. Do you even love me, still? No, don't answer that. I don't think I want to know. I mean, I do. I don't know. God, Spencer, can you say something?"
He doesn't. For a long while, he stares at you, and you train your eyes on the pattern on the bedding you're currently sitting under. His gaze is pulverising, and every second that passes is another limb turning to dust beneath it. His silence should be enough of an answer for you. Yet, you hold onto groundless hope still.
It feels like eternity has passed you by, by the time you hear his voice again.
"I don't mean to make you think I don't love you," he says. "I do love you. Which feels meaningless to confess to you now, knowing how you feel, and I wish my expansive knowledge of words could come up with a confession that does justice to how you feel, but also makes you feel better. I can only hope you take it at face value, and don't assume I'm saying it because it's what you want me to say." 
He finds a seat on the bed in front of you, fingers fidgeting with each other as he fixates on the wooden flooring in front of him. 
"I am grateful for everything you've done for me recently. I'm sorry I haven't expressed that. I'm having a hard time putting one foot in front of the other, let alone stringing together sensical thoughts. I wish I could tell you what my mind sounds like without feeling guilty about it. It isn't nice, and every thought I have is far from positive," he lifts his eyes to you, and you watch in real time as they soften, for the first time since he came home. "I will tell you that there's you. Among every awful thought and feeling I have, there is you. I think I... I think I've been coming across as ungrateful because you are a breath of relief after every bad thought and feeling. Am I making sense?" you nod your head, and he sighs in, namely, relief. "I take a step back from processing my emotions and figuring out how I'm going to talk about them with that bureau therapist when I think about you, because you are the one good thing I have to hold on to. So I just bask in the thought of you, or the sight of you, and focus on nothing else."
You aren't sure when you began to cry, and you only realise it when you have to sniffle before speaking. "You can focus on so many things at once, though." 
"Not anymore," he admits, looking back down. "I don't know what's happened. I've gone from having a brain that works inhumanly — which is objectively an incorrect statement, but I digress — to one that cannot multitask on two separate things at once." 
"Oh," you whisper. "I see."
"I'm so sorry I've made you feel as though your efforts go unnoticed, honey," he murmurs. "They don't. This has just been really difficult."
"I know," you say, wiping your tear stained face with the back of your hand. 
There's a part of you that wants this to be the end of it. The end of self doubt, and distance, and instead the beginning of your relationship rebuilding itself alongside Spencer. 
There's a larger, more logical part of you, that knows you cannot just sweep every self conscious doubt under the rug and move on. 
"I just want some time," you tell him, and his shoulders tense as you speak. "Not to—not to break up. Or even for us to have a break. I don't want that. I've just felt very... unloved. Like you're merely tolerating my presence in your life. And now, I know you aren't. But I have to find my confidence in myself in this relationship again before I can move on."
"Okay," his voice is strained as he speaks, and you know he's not exactly content with your request for space.
You try not to focus on that, in order to stand firm in your decision. 
That is where the conversation ends. And just like every other night, he climbs into bed and leaves a considerable amount of distance between your two bodies. You choose not to dwell on it, because this is now him giving you the space you so politely requested. You were catastrophising, and you'd be damned if you let such a thing control your life any longer. 
It maybe wasn't all in your head, but you still had to take the self doubt shaped dagger from your stomach out.
now i'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life. (line 30)
your reblogs and replies are always appreciated ♡
313 notes · View notes
frankthesnek · 1 day ago
Text
I saw a post about the elevator scene where the person (sorry don't remember who) was saying that it had tons of big dick energy.... now that's all i can think whenever i see this move. Just Steve with big dick energy.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
steve + kicking the shield
1K notes · View notes
mr2swap · 2 days ago
Text
Stepdad and son time
Tumblr media
-Calm down old man, A cigarette won't ruin “My” body-
My stepfather Steve smiled confidently at me and then flexed his huge arms just to reinforce his point.
-I even think they are a little bigger than the last time you saw them, right Steve?-
Despite being outdoors the powerful aroma that came from the smoke reached my nose, that aroma was so familiar, but at the same time it was different I could remember the taste, however I had never tasted one. It was the old and dry lips of my stepfather, those Who remembered the delicious and soothing taste of that horrible habit.
Tumblr media
-Oh! How rude I have been... Do you want any of this?? -
Steve took a couple of steps towards me and held the cigarette towards my face, the same face he had left behind 3 years ago. I'm not sure how he did it, but I have no doubt that he is to blame for what I now look like. As an overweight, middle-aged Southern man, I couldn't resist the soothing taste of a good cigarette.
Suddenly my mind relaxed and all the hatred I felt for the guy who had ruined my life vanished. Steve looks as damn happy and confident as the last time I saw him. We continue fishing, drinking and talking as if we were really a couple. Stepfather and his son having a good time, son of a bitch…
When I lived with my mom, he and I never got along well, sometimes we went days without talking even if our room was only a couple of meters away. To me, Steve was just a lazy idiot who was lucky to find someone like my mom.
Although my mom tried to get us closer multiple times, she didn't succeed, Steve and I were very different. I used to be a sports fan, I spent time with my friends playing all day or sweating in the gym, but all that changed when I turned 21 years old, Steve suddenly began to take an interest in my life in a somewhat obsessive way. He started watching the videos I posted about my workouts on Instagram and looking at my friends' profiles.
But the most obvious proof that he was the cause of all this was that just a week after we "mysteriously" woke up in the other's body, Steve left the house in the middle of the night with my motorcycle, the selfish bastard. The only thing he left me was his social security number and a small message:
“I'm sorry that we couldn't find out what caused us to exchange our bodies, but I think we should both continue with our lives. Take care of your mother and don't worry... I'll go visit.”
Tumblr media
Since that day my life has been shit, I don't know what the fuck he did to me, but since that day I've had to fight every day with that little voice in my head That makes me act like an idiot, Sometimes and all I can think about is How damn hot it is in the house and how good I could use a six-pack of beer. I guess he thought he would do me a favor by doing that to me to blend in more, or maybe I'm just his trash can where he dumped his shitty habits including his taste in women and Susan, my mother.
Every night before I go to sleep I try to be so fucking drunk that I forget what I do at night with my own mother and when I can't get my mother to give me money for the beers I masturbate furiously in the bathroom to relieve my desire for the disgusting sex with mom
If you're still horny and want to read more of my m2m bodyswap stories, subscribe to my Ko-fi I have over 250 stories in my archives
265 notes · View notes
reginyani · 17 hours ago
Text
Bed Chem | s.reid x fem!reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
summary: Derek Morgan hits you up for you and Spencer Reid, a genius FBI agent, to connect. One things leads to another, and you both have really good bed chem.
warnings: 18+, mdni, nsfw, drinking at a bar, p in v, unprotected sex, softdom!spencer, sub!reader, use of y/n, spencer comes in reader (if im forgetting something let me know)
word count: 3.2k
authors note: like its been 20 years since i've posted a fic, but here ya guys go!! i love the song bed chem, so this fic is sabrina carpenter themed💋. i don't really like this, but its been sitting in my drafts for a while now so i hope you guys enjoy(the smut isnt my best work im sorry!). if you did, just remember to like and reblog:)!
Tumblr media
Spencer Reid wasn’t the type to go to bars, but when the team had finally wrapped up a particularly exhausting case and a few of them decided to head out for a drink, he couldn’t exactly say no. He didn’t mind spending time with his colleagues, but when the plan shifted from the corner booth to the bar, he felt his nerves start to rise.
Derek Morgan had a gift for getting people out of their comfort zones, and today, he’d decided that Spencer was due for a little socialization. 
Spencer sat awkwardly at the far end of the bar, sipping a glass of water, watching the team interact with ease. His eyes wandered around the room, but then they unintentionally froze when they landed on you. You were sitting with a friend near the center of the bar countertop, laughing softly at something your friend had said. There was an easy, effortless charm about you that made Spencer’s heart beat a little faster.
But, as usual, he couldn’t bring himself to approach you. His mind spun with a thousand reasons why it would be awkward— why he wasn’t the right person to start a conversation. What if you didn’t like him? What if he said something weird? What if he wasn't good looking enough for you? He ran his fingers nervously through his hair, trying to shake the unease. He tended to self-sabotage things like these.
Derek, who had been watching the entire conflict play out with a grin on his face, noticed Spencer's hesitation. He chuckled to himself, shook his head, and stood up. “I’ll handle this, pretty boy.”
Spencer glanced over, his eyes wide in disbelief and embarrassment. “What are you—?”
Derek flashed a mischievous smile, already walking toward your side of the bar. “Trust me.”
Spencer’s heart skipped a beat as he saw Derek in the corner of his eye approach you. He couldn’t help but watch the whole thing go down. 
Derek walked up with his signature charm and a smooth smile. “Hey, ladies,” he greeted, leaning casually against the countertop. “Mind if I join you for a second?”
You glanced up at him, surprised, but smiled politely. “Sure, go ahead.”
Derek didn’t miss a beat. “Thanks. So, I couldn’t help but notice you from across the room,” he said smoothly. “Especially when I’ve got a buddy over there who’s been staring at you for a while.” He pointed behind him, subtly motioning to Spencer, who was frozen in the corner of the room, clearly aware that the jig was up. Spencer immediately felt the heat of embarrassment creeping up his neck.
You glanced over at Spencer, catching his eye for a moment before he quickly looked away. You raised an eyebrow. “He’s shy, huh?”
“Yeah,” Derek said with a wink. “But he’s a good guy. Just a little... socially awkward.” He chuckled. “But I think you might make him a little less awkward.”
You smiled, intrigued now. “So what’s his name?”
“Spencer Reid,” Derek said, a little too smugly. “I think you should text him. He’ll appreciate it.”
Derek pulled out a piece of paper with Spencer's number already on it, like he had already planned this the whole time. “I’ll let him know you’ve got it,” he added with a playful grin.
You looked at the number in your hand. “Well, I’ll have to think about it,” you said, teasing Derek. “But thanks for the introduction.”
With a wink, Derek gave you a nod. “Don’t keep him waiting too long,” he said before turning back toward Spencer, who was now practically melting into his seat with embarrassment.
Tumblr media
A few minutes passed before you decided it was time to approach him. You slid off the seat and slowly walked up behind Spencer, tapping him on the shoulder. He quickly turned around, clearly startled by your sudden touch.
"Uh… Spencer, right?" you ask, raising an eyebrow at him. 
He gulped before responding, staring at you for a quick second. "Yeah…" 
"Nice to meet you. I'm Y/N; wanna get a drink?" You give him a friendly smile, trying to make him feel comfortable enough to come back to your side of the bar with you. 
He smiles back and nods quickly. "Yeah! Yeah... sounds good." He slides off his chair, letting you guide him back with you. You can feel his friend's eyes all on you as you walk away with him, leaving them speechless.
As you both sit down at a barstool, Spencer fidgets with his fingers rapidly. You look down to see his shaking leg and him picking his fingernails.
"Hey, it's okay. I don't bite, I promise." You chuckle, making him look up into your eyes with his own beautiful puppy eyes.
"Yeah, I know. I just… never really show my face at the bar. I'd prefer reading over this, but… here I am." he says with contempt as he slowly nods his head.
You smile, agreeing with a nod. "Yeah, me neither, to be honest. My friends dragged me out here, which I'm assuming yours did as well." you laugh.
"Yeah… but hey, I'm with you now, so…" he says, leaning his arm onto the bar countertop. You smirk.
"Your friends seem nice. How do you know them?" you ask, trying to keep the conversation as interesting as possible.
"Uh—you know... We're co-workers." He responds blandly, not wanting to reveal his place of work in case you were to get intimidated by it.
"Oh really? What do you work as?" You continue to ask him questions, pushing a response out of him. You were curious.
He hesitates a moment. "I—uh... well, I'm an agent at the Behavioral Analysis Unit," he finally says, taking a sip out of his drink awkwardly.
"FBI, huh?" You smirk, looking him up and down. "That's sexy. Do you carry your creds?" you ask, looking up into his eyes.
"Yeah… Uh…" his cheeks burn a crimson red as he fumbles around for a second before finally pulling out a foldable wallet. He opens it smoothly, holding it up for you to see. 
His picture looked nothing like how he does now. His hair smooth and slicked back with a side part, and a completely blank and pale face. 
"How many years ago was that picture taken?" you chuckle, scanning it one last time before he flips it over to see himself. 
"A long time ago." He laughs, his voice softening as he closes the wallet and slides it back into his pocket. "I should probably get it updated, huh?"
 
You tilt your head playfully, taking another sip from your alcoholic beverage. "I don't know, I think it's cute. Kind of shows how far you've come and grown." 
Spencer blinks, not expecting the compliment. He adjusts his tie nervously, his fingers brushing over the fabric. "Thank you. That's... nice of you to say."
You lean in slightly, resting your chin in your hand. "So, Spencer Reid, FBI agent," you say, your voice teasing yet warm at the same time. "What's something you don't know everything about?"
He chuckles, his lips twitching into a shy smile. "Plenty of things, actually. You'd be surprised at how much I still have to learn."
You raise an eyebrow, intrigued. "Like what?"
He pauses for a second, as if genuinely thinking about your question. "Well… I've never really been good at small talk," he admits, sheepishly smiling. "Or, uh, anything involving this…" he gestures vaguely between the two of you, his cheeks flushing again.
You laugh softly, the sound making his heart skip a beat. "I don't think you're doing too bad." you assure him. "And for the record, I'm not much of a fan of small talk either. Let's skip it—tell me something real about you."
Spencer quirks an eyebrow at your directness, but there's something about your tone that puts him at ease. "Okay, something real about me…" He thinks for a second. "I have an IQ of 187, have an eidetic memory, and can read up to 20,000 words per minute, but sometimes I wish I could slow down, y'know?"
You blink, completely shocked by this brand new information. "I— No… I don't know." You laugh, still completely taking it in. "That's... insane," you finally manage, shaking your head in disbelief. "187 IQ? You're like, literally a genius."
Spencer tilts his head a bit, clearly a bit embarrassed by your reaction. "Well, technically, yeah. But it's not as impressive as people think. It just means I remember a lot of things. Well… everything."
You grin, leaning a little closer. "Okay, Mr. Modest. If you're so smart, hit me with a scientific fact. Blow my mind." 
Spencer's lips quirk into a shy smile, but there's a glint of mischief in his eyes now. He pauses for a moment, as if sorting through the thousands of facts stored in his mind. He looks directly at you, his voice soft but steady.
"Did you know," he begins, "that during intense physical contact, your brain releases tons of chemicals, including dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, which heighten pleasure and create emotional bonding?"
You blink, the corners of your mouth twitching upward as the suggestive undertone sinks in. "Intense physical contact, huh?" you repeat, tilting your head at him with that same smirk on your face. "That’s a pretty specific fact to share."
Spencer's eyes widen, his mind now racing and wondering if maybe you took that fact to offense. "I just meant… It's a common and well-documented physiological response. I wasn't implying—" 
You laugh at his fumbling words, cutting him off before he goes and spirals even further. "Relax, Spencer. I'm just teasing you." You lean back, taking another sip of your drink, your eyes twinkling. "But hey, maybe we can test that out sometime." 
His mouth opens, seemingly caught off guard. He looks at you, not sure whether you're joking or not. "Uh… yeah," he says, barely audible. "Maybe."
You smile, tilting your head a bit. "Hey, wanna get out of here? Maybe go to my place? We can call a taxi," you say suddenly, finally finishing your espresso martini and putting the glass down with a clink.
He hesitates for a second, looking back at his coworkers with an open mouth. "Uh… Yeah, sure. I don't see why not." 
The ride back to your apartment is quiet at first, with Spencer sitting stiffly beside you in the back of the taxi, his hands fidgeting in his lap. You can practically feel the nervous energy radiating off of him, and it makes you smile.
"You alright over there, genius?" you ask softly, tilting your head over to look at him.
"Yeah," he says quickly, too quickly. He clears his throat and glances at you, his lips twitching into a sheepish smile. "Sorry. This is just… not exactly something I usually do."
You nod slowly in understanding, trying your best to make his discomfort fade away. "No judgment. I don't either, to be honest, but you seemed too interesting to leave back at the bar."
This earns a laugh out of him, and his shoulders relax a bit. "Well, uh… thanks." 
Tumblr media
When the taxi finally pulls up to your apartment building, you pay the driver and lead Spencer upstairs. He follows closely behind, his eyes darting around as he takes in his surroundings.
"This is a nice apartment complex," he says as you unlock the door and step inside, gesturing for him to follow.
"Thanks," you say, flicking the lights on and setting down your bag on a nearby chair. You toe off your shoes and look back at him. "Make yourself comfortable." 
Spencer hesitates for a moment before awkwardly shrugging off his coat and hanging it on the back of a chair. He stands there for a second, unsure of what to do, until you notice and step towards him.
"You don't have to look so nervous, y'know," you tease gently.
"I'm not nervous," he replies, though the slight tremor in his voice was surely nervousness. 
You tilt your head, studying him. "You're a terrible liar, you know that?" 
His lip stretches into an upward shy smile.
"So I've been told," he admits.
You laugh softly at his words, and you gesture towards the couch. "Sit down. Do you want something to drink?"
He shakes his head, making his way to the couch and sitting on it stiffly. "I'm alright. Thanks."
You sit down beside him, close enough to brush shoulders but not so close as to make him uncomfortable. For a moment, there's silence, and then you glance up at him with a playful smile.
"So… want to share another one of those scientific facts of yours?" you ask, leaning slightly closer to him.
Spencer chuckles, his shoulders loosening as he meets your gaze. "Only if you're ready for it." 
"I'm ready," you say, settling in and giving him your undivided attention.
He thinks for a moment, then smirks slightly as he chooses one. "Did you know that the human brain processes the sensation of touch faster than almost any other sensory input? It’s why even the lightest touch can feel so intense."
You raise an eyebrow, the corners of your lips curving upward. "Is that so?"
He nods, his confidence growing as he begins to explain. "It’s because of specialized nerve ending called mechanoreceptors. They send signals to your brain almost immediately, making touch one of the most primal and powerful ways to communicate."
You hold his gaze, letting your hand grab his cheek. Now your voice is soft but laced with curiosity. "And what exactly do you think touch is communicating right now?" 
His breath hitches slightly, his gaze flickering down to your arm as it reaches his face.
"I think," he says, his voice quieter now, "it’s.. saying a lot."
"Good," you murmur, leaning in just a little closer, "because I think I like what it’s saying."
Spencer’s eyes meet yours, wide and full of something you can’t quite put into words. And for the first time all night, he doesn’t hesitate, and in one swift motion, his lips are crashing into yours.
  The kiss started off soft and warm but quickly grew heated. His hands found their way to your waist, pulling you closer. You could practically feel his nervousness melting away as you two continued, replaced by confidence. Gone was the shy, awkward man from the bar.
You tilt your own head, your fingers sliding up to his head, tangling in his soft hair. Spencer's breath hitched at your touch, and he let out a quiet whine that sent shivers down your spine. For someone who looked and sounded to be inexperienced, he sure as hell didn't make it seem like that.
When you both pulled away, it wasn't forced, it was synchronized. You searched his face, cheeks flushed with a deep pink, and his eyes watery as he stared into yours. 
You both stood up from off the couch and pressed your lips together once again. But this time, it was slower, as you savored the way his hands gripped your hips.
 
Spencer broke the kiss this time, looking at you before saying, "Where's your bedroom?" You smirk, grabbing his hand and leading him to your bedroom before slamming the door shut. 
When you both finally make it to your bed, you lay down, him on top of you as his lips trail down your jaw to your neck. "God, you drive me insane, Y/N." He murmurs, his words muffled against your skin.
You tilt your head back, groaning as his lips continue to work against your skin. "Fuck, Spencer…" 
His hands fumble around your body until his fingers finally catch onto the zipper of your dress. His fingers quickly move to unzip it, then skillfully move to take the straps off your shoulders. You whine in disappointment as he takes his lips off of your neck to slide the dress down your body and off at your legs. He throws it somewhere on the floor before quickly going back to press his lips to yours.
You squirm as his fingers graze over your lace panties, practically teasing you in a place you need him most.
"Spencer…" you let out, huffing audibly. He quirks an eyebrow, the erection in his pants growing by the second.
"Yes, baby?" he coos, his fingers continuing to trace circles on your panties.
"I need you..." You whisper, embarrassed at your own neediness. He smirks, pretending to not hear you.
"You what? I need you to speak up for me," he teases, and this drives you mad. 
"I need you!" You yell in desperation, tired of the teasing. "I want you to�� fuck me," you mumble, looking up into his eyes.
"Didn't exactly take you as a begger, Y/N," he snickers, continuing to look down on you. "But all you had to do was ask." His hands swiftly move to his pants, quickly unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his pants. He pulls them down, still stuck on his thighs.
He looks down and slowly moves your panties to the side. "Already wet, huh?" he teases. He then grabs your legs and swings them over his shoulders. "Ready?" he asks softly. You nod your head, squinting your eyes shut. 
When the tip of his cock hits your entrance, you squirm slightly, getting out a small whimper. "Oh, god…" you murmur.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, he slams into you, making you let out a loud yelp as he continues to slide his cock in and out of you with swift movements. He groans, the feeling of your warm pussy making him throw his own head back. 
"Holy shit… you're so tight, baby…" he says breathlessly, the loud sounds of heavy breathing and clapping filling your bedroom. "Look at me," he demands. "I want to see those pretty eyes of yours."
You follow his command, your watery eyes looking into his wide brown eyes. "Fuck, Spencer… right there!" you're practically yelling at this point.
Both of your bodies are moving at the same time, practically glued together, stuck together like magnets as your body bounded on his cock. Your hands gripped your baby pink sheets harshly, knuckles turning white as you arched your back.
"Sweet girl… 'm going to come." he warns, breaking eye contact with you to throw his head back once again.
You finally feel relieved, knowing you were chasing your own high. "'M almost there, baby. Oh, god…" your voice cracking between each word, warning him of your own orgasm.
As you begin to rock your hips, you finally moan, "Come inside me, baby! Please, yes, please!" and that, finally drives him over the edge. 
As your body starts to give out, you and Spencer release at the same time. Feeling the warmth of his release spilling inside of you as you both moaned in one synchronized motion, making your own orgasm feel even better.
When he finally pulls out, his body collapses next to you, both of you breathing heavily as you try to catch your breath. You turn your head to look over at him, smiling softly.
"Well, I guess you can say you seduced me with your scientific facts," you admit, laughing lazily, which earns one out of him as well.
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
tags:
278 notes · View notes
caitified · 12 hours ago
Note
okok hear me out pls. paige bueckers x reader wife where in r is pregnant and is due any day now but paige is still on an away game.
after paige’s win she was interviewed and was asked about when will the baby arrive. she says in the camera to “hold it in”. this was honestly based off of diana taurasi’s interview iykyk. hoping you could give this one a try. i’ve been longing for paige’s family series plssss thank u so much!
DUE DATE
PAIGE BUECKERS X FAMILY READER
comments: i have so many people asking about paige’s family , so sorry for it being on the back burner but keep the requests coming. and dt interview is elite.
warnings:none.
it had been a long, tense few days for both of you. paige was away for a game, and you, feeling the weight of pregnancy’s final stretch, were stuck at home, your body aching more and more as each hour passed. your due date was fast approaching, and every minute you felt like this could be the moment when your water would break, when the baby would finally make their grand entrance. you had never felt so much anticipation, but you had also never felt so alone in the waiting.
paige, on the other hand, had her game to focus on. she was playing her heart out, doing what she does best—putting on a show, leading her team, and pushing through any pain of her own to make sure her team came out victorious. you knew how much this game meant to her, how much her role on the court had become a part of her identity, and you were proud of her. but that didn’t make the ache of her absence any easier. you are in constant fear that the baby will come sooner than paige can get back to you.
when you checked your phone, there was a message from paige that made your heart skip a beat.
“hey babe, i miss you. how’s everything? can’t wait to see you soon 💙”
you smiled at the message, clutching your phone to your chest. she was on your mind every second of the day, and you could only imagine how hard it was for her to be so far away, knowing that you were on the verge of giving birth to her child.
just as you were about to respond, you saw a notification that made your heart flutter—a notification for the post-game interview. paige had just helped her team win, and now she was standing in front of the cameras, looking stunning, as usual. but what really caught your attention was the question they asked her.
“so, paige, your wife is pregnant and due any day now. do you have any updates? is she still holding up okay?”
paige smiled into the camera, her eyes sparkling despite the exhaustion from the game. and then, in a moment of pure humor and relief from the tension she was feeling, she did something you never expected.
“hold it in,” paige said with a wink, a playful smirk tugging at the corners of her lips. “just a few more days, alright?”
the reporters laughed, some of them clearly taken aback by her humour, but everyone could see the love in her eyes. she was still thinking of you, despite everything, and that small gesture made your heart swell. paige always knew how to make you laugh, how to ease the tension, even when it felt like everything was about to fall apart.
you laughed softly, knowing exactly what she meant. it wasn’t just about the baby holding out a little longer; it was about the balance she found between everything she had to juggle—the game, her career, and the life you two were building together.
as soon as the interview ended, you texted her back,
“trying my best p, but you need to get your ass back here”
a few moments passed, and then your phone buzzed. paige’s response came through immediately, her tone light but full of that familiar warmth you always cherished.
“ i’ll be there as fast as i can. i need to be there for you, baby. just a little longer, okay?”
you smiled, the anxiety of the moment easing, knowing that paige was thinking of you, even in the midst of a victory. it wasn’t just the game that made her perfect for you—it was moments like this, when she made you feel like everything would be okay, even when things were uncertain.
just a little longer, you thought, glancing down at your belly. and with paige’s words echoing in your mind, you settled into bed that night, feeling the soft kicks of the baby inside you, knowing that soon, everything would change, and you’d finally be able to welcome your little one into the world.
thanks for reading, i can do the next day when she’s home if you’d like.
127 notes · View notes
squidgamewriter00 · 2 days ago
Note
omg hii do you think you could do a jun ho x reader where she like overworks herself at her job and ends up passing out and like Jun Ho like goes full worried mode but then there’s fluff at the end?? otherwise just some Jun Ho x reader fluff is fine :)) thank you!!!
jun-ho x overworked reader
guys tumblr won't let me images to this post how else do I look at junhowhile I write 😢😢😢
junho saw how stressed you'd been lately. working extra hours, skipping your lunch break, getting to work early and leaving late into the night - all because your boss had become extra frustrated lately.
no matter how hard you would try to conceal your tiredness, jun-ho would notice. the way you would cancel dates. the way he could hear you typing away late into the night. how the bags under your eyes seemed to only get deeper by the day.
it's hard for jun-ho to say much to console you. after all, he finds himself the same way at times with the amount of stress he faces. he tries his best though.
because of his work he wishes he could find the time to check in more often. when his mind isn't preoccupied with gi-hun or his brother, he's thinking of ways he can sneak out of work and surprise you (much to your boss's dismay)
one work day was particularly rough. it was late into the night, usually the time that you'd get home to see your boyfriend. all your coworkers had left by then, but you still had one task remaining you were absolutely forced to finish.
usually, jun-ho gets home a bit later than you. this time, however, when he called out your name, he was surprised to only hear an echo back.
jun-ho knew how hard your boss had been on you lately, but he didn't expect you to take so long to return.
when he calls your phone the first time, you don't answer. he calls again, no answer. finally, he resorts to texts, "honey, when's your work finished? x"
30 minutes later when there's no response, he can feel a slight knot tie in his stomach
at that point, he hurries to your work, where he finds you passed out at your desk. he rushes beside you and gently shakes you, hoping that you would wake up.
as your eyes slowly start to blink, he places the back of his hand on your forehead.
"boss, I swear, I'll get the work done," you mumble, flinching to his touch.
"babe, it's me," he reassures, a tremble to his voice. "there's no one else here right now. we're going home, okay?"
the protest dies in your throat as he firmly pulls your belongings away from you. you were too tired to resist. even opening your eyes felt exhausting. the next thing you remember is your boyfriend hoisting you in his arms and throwing you over his shoulder with ease, letting your eyes slowly shut to the steps of jun-ho taking you back home.
the second time you awake you find yourself lying in bed pressed against his chest. as soon as he notices the slight movement in his arms, he quickly shifts upward, making sure to not startle you.
"you've been working too much, haven't you?" he murmurs, his voice still thick with sleep.
you swallow deeply with guilt, the words slipping softly out of you. "i'm sorry babe, I didn't mean to worry you"
"just promise me" he whispers, running his hand through your hair, "no more working this late."
"besides," jun-ho whispers, now in a more playful tone. "i'm much more fun, aren't i?"
cheeky.
98 notes · View notes
kaynanarie · 1 day ago
Text
Eyes of Gold (Part 12)
(A WukongxReader story inspired by Beauty and the Beast and Lutung Kasarung.) (First) (Prev)
            “Where are you? Please come out?”
           The whispers of a familiar voice roused you from a restless sleep. You yawned and blearily squinted around you, trying to remember where you were. The shadowy silhouettes and dust tickling your nose brought back memories of a storage room. It had been daylight when you first hid but now, night had shrouded you in disorienting darkness. You sat curled up in the corner, wondering how much time had passed and if it was safe to finally leave.
           A quiet creak startled you as the door swung open. You watched a shadow silently creep in, slow and low to the floor. As you grew more accustomed to the dark, the form of a small monkey took shape. A familiar monkey with glowing, golden eyes.
           “Peaches, are you in here?”
           You sat up from your hiding spot in surprise. “Shihou?”
           As soon as he saw you, Shihou dashed across the room and flung himself onto you. He clung to your shoulder and patting your face with his tiny paws. “Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you?”
            “I’m fine,” you assured the monkey, wrapping your cloak around him in a warm hug. “What are you doing here? Won’t you get in trouble?”
            “I was worried.” Concern, relief, and disapproval flashed across his face when he met your eyes. “You didn’t return to the mountain after the demons left.”
            “I guess you heard about the attack, then?”
           “Yes.” His frown pulled into a scowl, teeth bared as he glowered at the floor. “If I had known Bull Demon King was here, I never would have let you leave alone.”
            You ran a hand through his fur, feeling him relax under your soothing touch. “It’s okay, you didn’t know.”
           “Why didn’t you come back?”
             “I was helping the villagers,” you said, sitting back down with Shihou perching on your lap. “Thankfully, no one was hurt; just some damaged buildings. But when my sister heard the demons were gone, she came to see for herself. Elder Gran sent me to hide until she left but I guess I fell asleep.” Gentle brushes smoothed his agitated fur back into place. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you worry.”
            Shihou sighed and nuzzled against your shoulder. “I’m just glad you’re safe.”
            “Thanks to your hair.” Shihou suddenly looked worried when he met your gaze. You quickly explained to calm his concern. “It protected me when the bull tried to attack. Sorry I lost it. I think Sun Wukong took it with him…” you trailed off with a yawn.
            “Don’t worry about it. As long as you’re safe, that’s all that matters,” the monkey said with a relieved smile. “You should get some rest. We can return to the mountain in the morning.”
            Shaking your head, you forced yourself to stand, keeping Shihou balanced on your shoulder. “No, we should leave now while everyone else is asleep. I’ve already stayed too long and my sister might catch us trying to leave it we wait.”
            “If you insist,” Shihou agreed hesitantly. “There were guards posted around the village when I snuck in. I can guide you around them but we’ll still have to be careful.”
            You nodded. “Okay. Let’s get going.” Pulling your cloak close and Shihou closer, you slipped out of the storage room and through the empty house with careful steps. At the front door, you paused to peek out.
            Tilting his head, Shihou listened and pointed down a side street. “No guards for now. That should be the fastest route out of town. Once we’re outside the village, I can take you the rest of the way.”
            With a final glance, you hurried down the alley and into the shadows. The night was thankfully empty, the rest of the village sleeping off a stressful day. Only moonlight and icy wind filled the streets as you weaved between buildings. Distant voices on the winter breeze occasionally floated by. Each time, you would freeze and Shihou would listen but the guards were too far and too distracted to be of concern.
            It took longer than expected and exhaustion was quickly catching up. Your steps were clumsy, your body weary, and yawns plagued you with every other breath. Even your eyes were fighting to slip close between heavy blinks.
            Soon, you reached the edge of the village, shivering from bitter cold and fatigue. You almost cried seeing the great stretch of field and looming mountain still left to traverse.
            “I’ve got it from here,” Shihou said, nimbly flipping off your shoulder. In a puff of smoke, he transformed and landed in his taller demon form. You weren’t sure if it was your own tired mind or the moonlight softening his features but his figure seemed more striking than usual. It was only made worse when he smiled at you; warm, golden eyes brightening his handsome face. “Come on, up you get.”
            You were still recovering from your drowsy admirations when Shihou turned and knelt away from you. “What?”
            “I said I would carry you before and this will get us back to the mountain faster.” He grabbed your hand and tugged you forward so you were flush against him. Looping your arms around his neck, he held your knees and stood, easily hoisting you onto his back. “Ready?”
           Too tired to protest, you only nodded and nestled against his warm shoulder. “Yeah, let’s go home,” you mumbled sleepily.
           Shihou startled and stumbled a bit but quickly recovered with a brisk pace. “Sure thing, Peaches. You get some rest; we’ll be there in no time.”
            You closed your eyes and drifted off, only half aware of your surroundings. Shihou’s rhythmic steps, quick and sure; his hold never faltering. Winter chill shifting to a summery heat, chasing away your lingering shivers. The quiet ambiance of the slumbering jungle settling around you as the mountain welcomed you back. It was comforting and familiar and gently lulled you to sleep.
            The next thing you knew, Shihou was setting you down amongst plush blankets and fluffy pillows. As he turned to leave, you caught his hand and clung to it. “Stay?” you asked, smiling soft and sweet. Your half open eyes caught his flustered face but he didn’t shy away. Instead, you felt him shuffle into bed next to you, hugging you against him in a comforting embrace. Warm fur tickled your cheek, carrying his soothing scent of peaches and stone. You snuggled closer as you felt the tug of sleep pulling you back under.
            “Goodnight, Shihou,” you whispered.
            The last thing you remembered was his purred, “Goodnight, my Peach,” and the gentle press of lips to your brow.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
~🍑 Peach Friends 🍑~
@joyfulllittlething @iluxurycruisedthatship @drspecialhell @moondrop39-dovewing70 @happycarp @chibifox88 @rutabaga-menace
(If you would like to join the tag list, let me know!)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Something fluffy and cute with the return of Shihou! Just to share the vision of the soft boi, he's absolutely inspired by various artworks I saw of the 1996 Journey to the West. Thank you so much for reading, all the wonder feedback has kept me motivated! Until next time!
You can also find this story on AO3:
https://archiveofourown.org/works/60643669
86 notes · View notes
juyeoz · 2 days ago
Text
˙ㅤ۪ 𓂋⠀FOR THE PLOT — AN 02z SMAU
010 ┆ calm luh facial structure (0.4k words)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
You walked down the school hallways on your way to classroom 105, the kitchen. You were afraid to open the door, what if their teacher was still there? You knocked on the door and looked through the window in search of Sunghoon, in which, luckily, he was easy to spot. 
He wore a blue sweatshirt, light blue jeans, and stood near the sink. He was most likely washing dishes.
Hesitatingly, you opened the door, gaining his attention due to the creaking. A smile grew on his face, causing you to look away from his piercing gaze.
“Hey,” he greeted and went back to washing the dishes while looking away from you.
“Hello…” You muttered and made your way over to him. 
“Can you grab my phone for me? It’s in my right pocket.” He said while putting the sponge down. You paused and looked at his jeans for a moment. 
“My front pocket, idiot.” Sunghoon insulted while turning a little for you to have an easier reach.
“Shut up, that’s what I thought anyways.” 
“Yeah, sure.” He teased and continued washing the dishes.
“My password is 1431. I already set up your order as well, it’s the same as always, right?” He asked as you nodded. It had been the same since middle school. It never changed one bit.
“Sweet, the promo is in the promotion section. E-transfer me when you’re ready.” 
Sunghoon began cleaning the sink with the sponge in his hold as you did your own business on his phone with a silence washing over you two.
You looked over at him, taking his appearance seriously this time. His bangs covered part of his face from the side, leaving your view limited. Even if you didn’t have much to look at, you were able to take in the sharpness of his jawline, his prominent nose bridge as well as the way his moles gently rested on it. 
Looking a bit closely, you noticed something you never saw before. It was a mole on his right side, way lower than the one against his nose bridge. It appeared faintly, going unmissed if you paid close attention to it.
He did have a nice side profile, there was no doubt about it.
“Did you place the order?” Sunghoon asked, whipping his head over to you as you turned away in a haste.
“I did, just now…” You managed to get out of your startled state. 
“Alright, I was just wondering.” Sunghoon said as you hummed and nodded in response.
It was unbelievable. Almost a week ago, Sunghoon was nothing but the childhood friend who you never saw in any romantic way. It felt as if a switch flicked on, changing your views overnight, which was quite literally what happened.
However, you couldn’t deny that he wasn’t attractive at all. Nevertheless, that was what you hated most about this so-called developing attraction for the said boy.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
PREVIOUS MASTERLIST NEXT
NOTE — not even i knew we already reached chapter 10.. + jay appears soon guys sorry for the slow burn 😂
ENHYPEN PERM TAGLIST — @miumura @macapunoz @ch4c0nnenh4 @ancnymcnzjy @i03jae @en-dream @firstclassjaylee @sunoo-bby @wensurr
FTP TAGLIST — @enhypenlovre @love-lee @ikeulove @mnhpuppy @httpenhoon @yeonmuse @modanisgf @wilonevys @starry-eyed-bimbo @immelissaaa @woniefull @mymelodyfanatic @hollxe1 @rikiiisoob @parkjjongswifey @coqhee @heirdollies @domfikeluva @miszes @eyesonlybutterflies @suhwife @yuniesluv @right-person-wrong-time @haechsworld @butterflywonz @leehsngs @ddolleri @multifandomlovers-posts @t1iqaa @itsactuallylina @bbsantc @sunghxxnie @mariwasneverthere @claumbeju @janjoonty @jvngw0nlvr @korikeu
© JUYEOZ
80 notes · View notes
yaniluvs · 2 days ago
Text
𝒾𝒾𝒾 ⁞ AS WE ARE “𝑎 𝑏𝘰𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑎𝑦, 𝑠𝑎𝜈𝑒𝑑 𝑏𝑦 𝑦𝘰𝑢𝑟 𝘰𝑛𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝘰𝑛𝑙𝑦.” ── hang out. libraries. kids. food. turns out, baseball guy isn't only a baseball guy..?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
prev. | index | next ₍⑅ᐢ..ᐢ₎
𓍯 baseballcapt!seungmin ʚଓ fem!reader :( 𝒾 )9.1k── ༯ SERIES uni au, slow paced & slow burn, curiosity, fluff, strangers to friends to ???, small town, slight angst, language, skz ensemble, very long, y/n is a foreigner/has mixed ethnicity, angsty, humour. ⸝⸝𓂃 LiBRARY . /ᐠ.ꞈ.ᐟ\ྀིྀི
yani's note ˖˙ ᰋ a month and 5 days to the last update of this fic omg !!!!! yes it is finally here and it's very long. IM SORRY but i love this chapter sm im actually so proud of myself with this :3 hope you all like it !! <3 i love seungmin sm guys, pls tag me if you find any good seungmo fics mwah. also when i posted the last chapter, i had only crossed 300 followers. right now, as of when im posting this, i actually just passed 600 of you, oh my god. in a span of 36 days, thank you so much to every single one of you ! this really motivates me a lot :(( i am also posting the requested fics soon loves, please be patient !!! comments, likes, req/asks and reblogs are always appreciated ! send in a reply or an ask if you want to be in my mastertag, or my individual series' taglists. happy reading <3
Tumblr media
the sun hung low in the sky, its warm rays stretching lazily over the quiet baseball field. a faint breeze rustled the leaves of nearby trees, carrying with it the distant hum of voices from the university festival on the other side of town.
y/n strolled across the usual field with her usual carefree stride, her satchel slung over one shoulder and a grande paper cup of peach tea in her hand. her gaze caught a familiar figure, who she may have been hoping to find.
he stood on the pitcher’s mound, his cap pulled low over his face as usual, a baseball gripped loosely in his hand. his focus was sharp, his movements practiced and fluid as he wound up and pitched the ball toward the net. the satisfying smack of the ball hitting its target echoed across the empty field.
she paused for a moment, watching him. he looked so at ease here, like the field was an extension of himself. she smiled to herself before calling out, “practicing alone again?”
seungmin turned at the sound of her voice, his expression softening slightly when he saw her. “car girl, again,” he said, a hint of amusement in his tone.
she rolled her eyes at the nickname, though she couldn’t help but smile. “that nickname is never going away, is it?”
“not a chance,” he said, turning back to the net and throwing another pitch.
she began teasingly, walking closer to the netted boundary of the field. “so, has this time now become your usual or are you just excited to see your new friend everyday now?”
he shrugged, tossing the ball idly in one hand. “don't flatter yourself, maybe it's because i'm actually bored for once.”
“oh well, didn't hurt to try,” she laughed softly, the sound light and warm like the breeze that rustled the trees surrounding the field. she stopped a few feet away from him, crossing her arms as she watched the ball sail cleanly into the net. “your friends aren't here today?”
“nope,” he replied, brushing a bit of dirt off his palm. “they’re at some event thing on campus. didn’t feel like going.”
“why not?” she asked, genuinely curious.
he shrugged, retrieving another ball from the bucket nearby. “not my scene.”
she tilted her head, a teasing smile on her lips. “you say that about a lot of things.”
“that’s because it’s true about a lot of things,”
“so, instead of loud festivals, you decided to spend your evening throwing balls alone?”
“better than standing around pretending to have fun,” he said, his lips twitching into a faint smirk as he pitched the ball again.
“you really do have a grumpy streak, don’t you?”
“i’m not grumpy,” he shot back, catching the ball as it rebounded off the glove.
“you keep saying that,” she said, her voice light with amusement. “but i’m not convinced.”
seungmin glanced at her, shaking his head. “you talk too much.”
“again, only because you talk too little,” she countered easily, her grin widening.
he let out a soft huff—somewhere between a sigh and a laugh—before walking over to grab the ball again. this time, instead of pitching, he sat down on the grass near her, resting his elbows on his knees.
she blinked in mild surprise but quickly recovered, sitting up straighter. “taking a break?”
“something like that,” he said, spinning the ball absently in his hands.
“so,” she began, tucking her legs beneath her and leaning forward slightly. “if you don’t like festivals or loud places, what do you like?”
he gave her a sidelong glance, as if deciding whether to answer. “quiet places. like the library.”
“oh, so you did like the library,” she teased, her eyes sparkling.
he shook his head, a faint smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. “i liked that it was quiet.”
“and because it had me,” she joked, “and what else? besides quiet places?”
he was quiet for a moment, his gaze drifting to the horizon where the sun hung low, casting long shadows across the field. “baseball,” he said eventually. “obviously.”
“obviously,” she echoed with a playful smile. “what else?”
“you’re really nosy,” he said, though his tone lacked any real bite.
“i prefer ‘curious,’” she said with a shrug. “come on, there’s gotta be more to you than baseball and quiet places.”
he didn’t respond right away, and for a moment, she thought he might not answer at all. but then he said, almost reluctantly, “music.”
her eyes lit up. “really? what kind?”
“depends,” he said, turning the ball in his hands. “mostly calm stuff. acoustic, sometimes jazz.”
“same!” she said excitedly, leaning forward. “do you play anything?”
he glanced at her, his expression unreadable. “guitar. a little, a friend is helping me.”
“seriously?” she asked, her excitement growing. “that’s really cool. i tried to play piano in elementary.. but let's just say i'm not too good with two hands and multitasking.”
"well, guess it’s a good thing breathing only takes one set of lungs."
“you're mean.”
“i prefer honest.”
“what about singing?” she asked again, her voice softer now.
he raised an eyebrow. “what about it?”
“do you sing?”
he shook his head. “not really.”
“not really or not at all?”
“not at all,” he said firmly, though there was a faint glimmer of amusement in his eyes.
“hm, interesting.” she mumbled under her breath, as he looked at her for a bit, and then stood up, dusting the dirt off his tracks and walking back to the field.
“so, what’s your plan? just… keep throwing balls at a net until sunset?”
“pretty much,” he said, glancing at her. “unless you’ve got a better idea.”
“are you admitting to wanting to be in my company?”
“no, i'm simply taking your offer from yesterday. you know, if i ever need help venturing around.”
“oh, did i say that?”
“you compared yourself to dor-”
“it's a rhetorical question!” her cheeks warmed up, at the realisation of her random 'boldness' from the previous day.
“but.. fair enough,” she shrugged, “in that case, i might have a better idea or a few.” she said, her grin widening mischievously.
he raised an eyebrow, clearly skeptical but willing to entertain her suggestion. “oh yeah? let’s hear it.”
“well, it’s not much of a plan yet,” she admitted, resting her chin on her knees. “but you could hang out with your beloved library-worker-plus-her-who's-mysteriously-at-the-field-every-day-now-turned-friend, later. you know, after you’re done being all serious and athletic.”
he paused, the ball in his hand, and looked at her fully for a moment. “hang out?”
“yeah,” she said casually, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “you’re bored and free, i’m bored and free… why not?”
he considered her for a moment, his expression unreadable. “you’re pretty straightforward, you know that?”
she grinned, unfazed. “pretty? check. straightforward? definitely check. so yeah, what do you say?”
“i’ll think about it,” he said, turning back to the net.
“wow,” she said, pretending to be offended. “that’s the most noncommittal answer and rejection i’ve ever heard.”
he smirked slightly, not looking at her. “better than a no.”
“fine.” she said with a shrug, leaning back on her hands.
they fell into a comfortable silence after that, the rhythmic thwack of the ball hitting the net filling the air. the sun hung lower in the sky now, casting long shadows across the field and painting everything in shades of gold and orange.
eventually, the guy had straightened up, stretching his arms over his head. He glanced over at y/n, who was still sitting in the grass, absentmindedly twisting a strand of hair around her finger as she watched the sky.
“you’re still here,” he said, his tone more surprised than accusatory.
“oh you're done!” she replied, smiling up at him. “and yeah, of course, i was waiting for your answer.”
he shook his head slightly, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. “you're not gonna leave unless i say no, are you?”
“glad to know you're catching up! but i know you were never gonna say no, if you had a choice too.” her face lit up instantly, her grin so bright it could’ve rivaled the setting sun. “i promise i won’t be too annoying, by the way.”
“somehow, i don’t believe that,” he said, though there was no real bite to his words.
she laughed, springing to her feet and brushing the grass off her skirt. “you’ll survive. come on, let’s go, baseball boy.”
he rolled his eyes but followed her off the field, the faintest hint of a smile still lingering on his lips.
“call me a creep,” she said with a grin, glancing back at him as he tried to catch up with her. “but i did see a messy stack of crumpled music sheets under your backpack the other day. so i know you're not good at lying.”
seungmin froze mid-step, his eyes narrowing slightly as he processed her words. he stopped walking, turning his head slowly to look at her with a mixture of suspicion and amusement.
“you what?” he asked, voice laced with disbelief but not quite sharp.
y/n stopped a few paces ahead of him, spinning around to face him with an innocent shrug and a playful grin. “you heard me.” she leaned slightly toward him as if to emphasize her point.
he blinked at her, “you really are a creep.”
“hey!” she exclaimed, laughing as she placed a hand over her chest in mock offense. “i wasn’t snooping or anything. i just.. happened to see it while you were busy.”
“you just happened to notice crumpled music sheets under my backpack? that’s oddly specific.”
“call it observational skills,” she said matter-of-factly, tilting her head as she smiled at him again. “besides, you’re dodging the point.”
“which is?” he asked, folding his arms across his chest.
“you’re not good at lying,” she said, her tone teasing but her eyes sparkling with curiosity. “you said you didn’t play anything? but clearly, you’ve got something going on with music.”
he stared at her for a moment, his expression unreadable. she could tell he was debating whether or not to admit anything. finally, he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked off to the side while they walked slower.
“it’s not a big deal,” he muttered, his voice quieter now.
she raised an eyebrow, her grin softening into something more genuine. “clearly, it’s a big enough deal that you’re hiding it.”
“it’s just.. something i mess around with sometimes,” he said, still avoiding her gaze. “nothing serious.”
“mess around with?” she echoed, “like ..writing? playing? singing?”
“all of the above,” he admitted reluctantly, his voice barely audible.
“that's really cool, you know.”
“it’s not,” he said quickly, looking genuinely embarrassed now. “it’s just something i do when i’m bored.”
“doesn’t matter,” she said with a shake of her head. “it’s still cool. and honestly, it makes so much sense now.”
“what does?”
“why you’re so good at reading people,” she said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “music’s all about emotions, right? you must have a knack for it.”
he blinked at her, clearly caught off guard by her logic. “…that’s a stretch.”
“is it?” she asked, tilting her head as she looked at him again. “come on, admit it. you’re secretly a genius, aren’t you?”
he rolled his eyes, but there was a faint flush on his cheeks now, barely visible in the dimming light. “you’re really weird, you know that?”
“and you’re really deflecting,” she said, grinning as she nudged his arm with her shoulder.
silence. the field was quiet, as the pair finally exited through the rusty old gates.
“i’m not hiding it or anything,” he said after a long pause. “it’s just something i don’t really talk about. that’s all.”
she nodded, her smile softening into something more understanding. “i get it. but for the record, i think it's a great hobby. you don’t have to hide it around me.”
he glanced at her then, his expression unreadable for a moment before he let out a quiet chuckle.
the walk was simple. the quiet of the small town wrapping around them like a warm blanket. the golden-orange glow of streetlights lit up the pathway in patches, casting soft shadows as the two strolled side by side. the occasional passerby—an older man walking his dog or a young couple holding hands—added a gentle hum of life to the evening, but it was mostly just the two of them.
y/n kicked at a stray pebble on the sidewalk, the sound of it skittering ahead breaking the silence. she looked over at seungmin, who was walking with his hands in his pockets, his shoulders relaxed but his face unreadable.
“you walk like you have all the time in the world.”
he raised an eyebrow at her. “and you walk like you’re about to challenge someone to a race.”
“funny you should say that,” she grinned, already picking up her pace. “because i was just thinking—”
“y/n, no,” he said immediately, his tone flat but his eyes narrowing as if he already knew where this was going.
“oh, come on!” she laughed, already a few steps ahead of him now. she spun around to face him, walking backward as she pointed toward the distant outline of the bus stop up ahead. “race you to the bus stop. loser owes the winner a snack!”
“i’m not racing you,” he said, shaking his head.
“scared you’ll lose?” she taunted, her grin widening.
he let out a small sigh, running a hand through his hair. “considering i'm the least athletic, y-” he mumbled to himself.
“fine,” she said, throwing her hands up dramatically. “guess i’ll just win by default, then!”
with that, she turned and took off, her laughter trailing behind her as she sprinted toward the bus stop.
seungmin stood there for a second, watching her with an incredulous look before muttering under his breath, “unbelievable.” despite himself, he started jogging after her, his strides quickly closing the gap between them.
she reached the bus stop just a second before him, her chest heaving as she laughed and turned to face him. “looks like you owe me—”
“nothing,” he interrupted, standing just a few feet away, barely out of breath. “you cheated.”
“what?” she exclaimed, her hands flying to her hips. “how did i cheat?”
“you gave yourself a head start,”
“excuses, excuses,” she said, waving him off as she leaned against the bus stop pole. “a loss is a loss, seungmin.”
before he could reply, the bus pulled up, its headlights cutting through the dim light. the doors hissed open, and y/n wasted no time, darting inside with the same energy as before. “i call the window seat!” she called over her shoulder.
seungmin followed her at a more relaxed pace, shaking his head. “you’re a child,” he muttered as he climbed the steps.
“aren't we all?”
inside, the bus was mostly empty, save for a small group of middle schoolers sitting near the front. they were chatting animatedly, their voices a mix of excitement and laughter. she had already claimed her spot by the window, her bag plopped down on her lap as she looked out at the darkening sky.
“don’t just stand there,” she said, looking up at him with a teasing smile. “sit.”
he sighed, sliding into the seat beside her. “you’re really full of energy today.”
“always am,” she replied cheerfully, leaning her head against the window as the bus started moving.
the middle schoolers noticed them then, their curious eyes flicking toward the older pair. one of the boys leaned forward, his face lighting up as he addressed the girl. “are you guys dating?”
seungmin nearly choked on his own breath, his head snapping toward the kid in disbelief.
y/n, however, paused, then shaking her head and senses back. “we’re friends.”
“really?” the boy asked, tilting his head. “you look like you’re dating.”
“we’re not,” seungmin said firmly, though his voice lacked its usual sharpness.
another girl from the group leaned in, grinning. “but you’d make a cute couple!”
“i swear, all kids this age only talk about crushes and dating..” he mumbled silently.
“see?” she said, nudging him with her elbow. “even kids think we’re cute together.”
“don’t encourage them.”
she laughed again, turning back to the kids. “what about you guys? why are you out so late?”
“we had cram school,” one of them replied, his tone dramatic. “it’s the worst.”
y/n gasped in mock horror, clasping her hands together. “cram school? at your age? you poor things.”
the kids laughed, clearly enjoying her playful energy. “do you go to uni?” one of the girls asked.
“yup,” she said, nodding. “and i work part-time at the library, too. it’s fun, but uni is… a lot.”
“you work at a library?” the boy from earlier asked. “that’s so cool!”
“not as cool as you think,” she said with a wink. “but it has its moments.”
as the conversation continued, seungmin found himself watching her more than he intended to. the way her eyes lit up as she talked to the kids, the easy way she laughed and made them feel comfortable—it was… nice. she had this warmth about her, this effortless ability to make people smile.
he didn’t realize he was staring until one of the kids pointed at him. “what about you, mister? what do you do?”
“baseball,” he said simply, his gaze flicking away from her as he addressed the group.
“whoa, really? are you on a team?”
“not really an official one,” he said, his tone calm but polite. “but it's with my uni friends.”
“that’s so cool!” the kids chorused, their admiration genuine.
“looks like you’ve got some fans.”
he rolled his eyes but couldn’t help the faint smile that tugged at his lips. “you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
“absolutely,”
as the bus continued down the quiet streets, the group fell into a comfortable rhythm, the kids’ chatter filling the space. and though seungmin wasn’t much of a talker, he found himself joining in, answering their questions and even cracking a joke or two.
she glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, her smile softening as she watched him interact with the kids. for someone who claimed to be reserved, he had a way of connecting with people when he let his guard down.
by the time the bus reached their stop, the middle schoolers waved goodbye with big smiles, their energy still high.
“see you around!” one of them called as they hopped off.
“bye!” y/n had replied, waving back enthusiastically.
as the two of them stepped off the bus, the quiet of the town greeted them once more. she stretched her arms above her head, a content sigh escaping her lips. “come on,” she skipped quickly.
“so,” seungmin said, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets and giving her a skeptical look. “where exactly are we going? you never actually said. are you sure you’re not kidnapping me?”
“if i were kidnapping you, wouldn’t i have tied you up and thrown you in the bus trunk or something?”
he tilted his head, pretending to think. “you’ve clearly never kidnapped anyone before. that’s not how it works.”
“oh, you’re an expert now?” she shot back, her grin widening as she glanced over her shoulder at him.
“i’ve watched enough movies to know you’re doing it wrong,” he deadpanned, his lips twitching upward.
“good to know.” she gave him a mock salute before skipping a little farther down the street. “come on! i know a great street food cart around here. you’re not afraid of trying new things, are you?”
he raised an eyebrow as he followed her. “i think i’ll survive. lead the way, sunshine.”
they stopped at a small street food cart nestled on a quiet corner, the warm smell of grilled meat and savory spices filling the air. a cheerful elderly vendor greeted them with a smile, his weathered hands busy flipping skewers on the grill. the small counter was lined with colorful condiments, sauces, and steaming bowls of rice.
“ah, young love!” the vendor teased as they approached. “out for a date, y/n?”
y/n's cheeks flushed, but she recovered quickly, laughing as she leaned her elbows on the counter. “not a date. just two people enjoying good food.”
“hmm, that’s what they all say,” the man said with a wink, handing her a menu.
seungmin sighed, shaking his head. “we’re not—”
“shh,” she interrupted, whispering, nudging him with her elbow. “let the man think what he wants. who knows, we might even get a discount.”
he gave her a look but didn’t argue, instead glancing at the menu she was holding. “what’s good here?”
“everything,” she said with a grin, handing it to him. “but if i had to pick, the japchae and chicken skewers are my favorites.”
he nodded, ordering exactly what she suggested while y/n added a few other things to their order. as they waited, she leaned back against the cart, looking up at the star-dotted sky.
“you’re not from around here, are you?” seungmin asked suddenly, his voice breaking the comfortable silence.
she shook her head, still gazing upward. “nope.. well not exactly. had to move here after elementary. my grandparents live here, though. i’ve been staying with them.”
“must be nice,” he said, his tone soft. “having family nearby.”
she smiled at that, turning to face him. “yeah. they’re great. super nosy, though. if they knew i was out with you right now, they’d probably be interrogating me over dinner later.”
“oh, so i’m a topic of conversation now?” he teased, one corner of his mouth quirking up.
“only because they’re obsessed with matchmaking,” she replied, rolling her eyes fondly. “they're caring, though. they just.. want me to be happy.”
he studied her for a moment, his gaze lingering on the way her eyes crinkled when she smiled. “you seem happy.”
“i try to be,” she said simply, her voice quiet but steady, though there was an unfamiliar flicker in her eyes as she blinked it away. “life’s too short not to find little things to smile about, you know?”
before he could respond, the vendor handed them their food, and y/n immediately brightened, clapping her hands together. “perfect timing! let’s eat.”
they found a bench nearby, the soft glow of a lamppost casting a golden halo over their little spot. she handed him his share of the food before digging into her own, her face lighting up with every bite.
“this is so good,” she said around a mouthful of cold noodles, earning a laugh from seungmin.
“you’ve got sauce on your face,” he pointed out, gesturing to the corner of his own mouth.
“where?” she asked, swiping at her face with her sleeve.
“other side,” he said, leaning forward slightly. when she still missed it, he sighed, pulling a napkin from the bag and reaching over to wipe it off himself. “honestly, you’re worse than a kid.”
she froze for a second, her cheeks warming as his fingers brushed her skin. “thanks,” she mumbled, her voice softer than usual.
he pulled back quickly, clearing his throat as he sat up straighter. “you’re welcome.”
they ate in comfortable silence for a while, the sounds of the town around them—distant conversations, the hum of passing cars—filling the gaps. every now and then, seungmin would glance at her out of the corner of his eye, watching the way her face lit up as she talked about her favorite foods or how she waved enthusiastically at strangers passing by.
“you’re really… outgoing,” he said finally, his tone thoughtful.
“is that a bad thing?”
“no,” he said quickly, shaking his head. “it’s just.. different. in a good way.”
her smile softened, and she looked down at her hands. “thanks. i think?”
he shrugged, taking another bite of his food. “don’t let it go to your head.”
she laughed, the sound light and musical, and he found himself smiling despite himself. for someone so different from him, she was surprisingly easy to be around.
she leaned back on the bench, her chopsticks idly stirring the remaining japchae sauce in her container. her eyes sparkled with curiosity as she turned toward seungmin, who was quietly munching on a chicken skewer.
“so,” she began, her tone playful yet pointed. “you said you did play the guitar right?”
he paused mid-bite, his brows furrowing slightly as he glanced at her. “why does it sound like an interrogation?”
“because it is,” she replied, grinning. “i mean, you didn’t mention it until i asked you. oh and what’s the deal with the music sheets under your backpack the other day? planning to start a band or something?”
he huffed a laugh, shaking his head. “hardly. i’m just.. messing around. nothing serious.”
“messing around?” she echoed, her head tilting slightly as she scrutinized him. “come on, min. you don’t just carry music sheets around for no reason. what are you working on?”
he shifted uncomfortably, avoiding her gaze by focusing on the skewer in his hand. “i’m not working on anything. i just play a little when i have time. that’s all.”
she squinted at him, clearly unconvinced. “you’re being suspiciously vague.”
“maybe because there’s nothing more to say,” he countered, raising an eyebrow at her.
“oh, there’s definitely more to say,” she retorted, leaning closer as if trying to read his expression better. “do you write songs? or are you just playing covers? be honest—are you secretly a rockstar?”
he rolled his eyes, but there was a faint smile tugging at his lips. “definitely not a rockstar. and no, i’m not writing songs. i barely know enough to play properly as it is.”
“barely know enough?” she repeated, her tone skeptical. “you strike me as the type who’d quietly get really good at something and then pretend you’re just ‘okay’ at it.”
he let out a short laugh, shaking his head. “i’m really not that good. i’m just learning the basics. chords, strumming patterns, that kind of stuff.”
“that’s still cool,” she said earnestly, her face softening. “everyone starts somewhere. are you teaching yourself?”
“yeah,” he admitted, his voice quieter now. “i found an old guitar in the storage room at home and thought i’d give it a try. it’s.. relaxing.”
she smiled at that, leaning back against the bench. “music is good for that. it’s like.. this little world you can escape to, you know?”
“music is.. kind of magic, don’t you think?” she said, her voice tinged with awe. “like, it’s not just sounds. it’s emotion. it’s stories. it’s—” she paused, searching for the right word, “—connection. you can listen to a song in a language you don’t even understand, and still feel it. isn’t that amazing? like, how can a few notes and some words make you feel like that?”
she tilted her head back, staring up at the sky as she continued, her voice softening but growing no less passionate. “and it’s not just the big, dramatic moments, either. it’s the little ones, like how a single chord can make your chest ache, or how a melody can take you back to a memory you thought you’d forgotten. it’s so… alive. like it has this way of pulling you in, making you feel something you didn’t even know you were missing.”
he had just been listening, watching her as she spoke, but she didn’t seem to notice.
“and it’s so personal,” she said, her voice quieter now. “everyone has their own song, you know? something that feels like it’s just for them, like it knows them in a way no one else does. that’s what i love about it. music isn’t just one thing. it’s so many things, all at once. it’s chaos and comfort and beauty and sadness. it’s… everything.”
she exhaled, a small, almost sheepish smile crossing her face as she looked at him. “sorry, i’m rambling. i just—when i think about it, i can’t help it. it’s like… music’s the closest thing we have to magic.”
he glanced at her, surprised by how sincere she sounded. it was quiet for a moment, until he spoke. “do you?”
“hm?” that had gotten her attention, though the air felt slightly thicker now.
“i mean, you said earlier that you can't multitask. despite how hard i find it to believe- what i meant to ask was if you sang.. or tried playing after that or not.”
the girl only shifted her gaze and paused for a bit, exhaling as she smiled briefly again, “i did, try to play the guitar, in middle school. but i just kinda gave up after that,” she chuckled awkwardly. “and as for singing? i just hum here and there, but nothing professional or serious.”
“the way you talk about it says otherwise.”
“how do i talk about it?”
he tilted his head, studying her with an intensity that made her shift slightly in her seat. then, he smiled, soft and a little disbelieving, as if he couldn’t quite figure her out.
“you talk about it like it’s your whole world,” he started, his voice quieter, almost reflective. “like, when you mentioned music, your tone changed. it’s.. different. it’s not just words with you — it’s like your entire energy shifts. you sound so.. alive. like you’re describing something that’s a part of you, something you feel in your bones.”
he paused, glancing down at his hands as if he were trying to piece the rest together. “it’s in the way you look when you talk about it, too. you get this light in your eyes, like you’re remembering something important. like you’re somewhere else entirely—like music isn’t just something you like. it’s something you need. like it’s this space where nothing else matters, you know? like it’s a place that’s just yours.”
she blinked, caught off guard by the weight of his words. he ran a hand through his hair, clearing his throat as though realizing how much he’d said. but then, as if he couldn’t help himself, he continued, his gaze locking onto hers again.
his words hung in the air, heavy and quiet, as if they were something fragile. “am i wrong?” he asked finally, though he didn’t sound entirely convinced that he could be.
“for a baseball guy you're quite the poet.”
“that's not an answer.”
“i didn't mean to answer.”
“well?”
“well what?”
“am i?”
“you're not wrong. but music is just something.. i adore. like everyone else! that's all that there is to it.” she pursed her lips, getting up with the wooden bowl that was once full of japchae, to walk to the stall again and hand it to the man with a smile. seungmin followed shortly after, feeling slightly curious but he shook it off.
“seungmin!” she called out. “come on!”
then they were on the street again. she walked slightly ahead, her steps light and playful, occasionally skipping over cracks in the sidewalk. seungmin followed at a slower, more measured pace, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket.
“so,” she said, turning her head slightly to glance at him with a bright smile. “since we’re walking and have time, i think we should play twenty questions.”
he raised an eyebrow. “that’s a dangerous game.”
“not if you answer honestly,” she replied with a shrug, her grin widening. “come on, it’ll be fun. i’ll start. what’s your favorite color?”
he paused, thinking. “blue, i guess.”
“safe choice,” she teased. “very original.”
he rolled his eyes. “alright, my turn. why are you always so upbeat?”
“hey, that’s not a yes-or-no question!” she protested, narrowing her eyes playfully.
“neither is ‘what’s your favorite color,’” he pointed out, smirking.
she huffed, crossing her arms as she walked. “fine. i guess i’m just naturally optimistic? or maybe i just don’t see the point in being gloomy all the time. life’s too short to be grumpy.”
“are you calling me grumpy?” he asked, his tone mock-offended.
“well, you are kind of the poster child for ‘brooding baseball guy,’” she quipped, flashing him a cheeky smile.
he let out a short laugh. “i’m not brooding.”
“sure you’re not,” she replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “alright, your turn again.”
he glanced at her, his curiosity piqued. “what made you want to work at the library?”
she tilted her head, thinking. “well, i’ve always loved books. and libraries are… peaceful, you know? there’s something magical about being surrounded by so many stories. plus, it’s a good excuse to read a lot while getting paid for it.”
“that makes sense,” he said, nodding. “what’s your favorite book, then?”
“oh, that’s impossible to answer!” she exclaimed, throwing her hands up dramatically. “there are too many. but if i had to pick.. maybe white nights. classic, romantic, sad. it’s got everything.”
“romantic, hm?” he teased, a small smirk tugging at his lips.
she shot him a look. “don’t make fun of me! it’s a great book.”
“i’m not making fun,” he said, raising his hands in mock surrender. “i just didn’t take you for a romantic. or someone who liked reading sad love stories.”
“well you'll be surprised,” she said. “i like reading everything. it's art. whether sad, or happy, or anything else.”
he noticed the shift in her tone and decided not to press further. instead, he changed the subject. “alright, my turn again. what’s something most people don’t know about you?”
she thought for a moment, a mischievous glint returning to her eyes. “i have a terrible sense of direction. like, really bad. if i didn’t have my phone, i’d probably get lost on my way home.”
he snorted. “good to know. i’ll make sure to never follow you if we’re lost.”
“rude,” she said, sticking her tongue out at him. “my turn. same question. what’s something most people don’t know about you?”
he hesitated, his gaze dropping to the ground. “well, most people don’t know that i’ve always wanted a pet, like a dog. a big one. like, a golden retriever or something.” he chuckled softly at the thought. “my friends say i resemble a dog. but can't put up with one. i guess it’s kind of random, but i don’t know. i’ve always imagined having a dog, like, after i’m out of school, you know? just someone to come home to, someone who’s always excited to see me.”
he paused, a small, almost wistful smile tugging at his lips. “but i never really had the chance to get one, with school and everything. plus, i’m always busy with baseball or music, and i feel like i’d end up neglecting it. so… it’s one of those things that kind of stayed on the back burner.”
she had been watching him intently, her gaze fixed on him for a moment longer than usual. he didn’t seem to notice, too caught up in his own thoughts.
“hmm,” she said, breaking the silence with a light laugh. “you’d be a good pup owner, i think. you seem like the type.”
he raised an eyebrow at her, the mischievous grin returning. “what’s that supposed to mean?”
she just shrugged, her lips curling into a smile. “nothing, just.. you’ve got this calm about you. i don’t know. you’d probably spoil it.”
his grin widened, but he didn’t reply right away. instead, he sat back and looked up at the sky, clearly lost in his own thoughts for a moment.
“i see it though.”
he raises an eyebrow.
“the resemblance of you, physically, and in another way, to a dog.” she spoke, her gaze tracing his features. “you might seem mysterious to a stranger, and me, sadly, but i get a feeling you're really happy and playful around people you're close with.”
“and as for physically, when you walk like this, your hair jumps and it actually looks like puppy ears. overall your face, especially with that wide smile that you try to avoid in front of me,” she laughed, “makes you seem more like a dog. playful. familiar. friendly.. and comforting.”
he stared at her, stunned into silence for a moment. her words had caught him completely off guard, and he wasn’t sure how to respond. finally, he let out a laugh—soft, genuine, and a little disbelieving.
“well, that’s… definitely not what i expected to hear today,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, a faint flush creeping up his cheeks. “i don’t know if i should be offended or flattered.”
“flattered,” she replied without missing a beat, a playful glint in her eyes. “dogs are great!”
“i can’t believe you just compared me to a dog. you’re really out here calling me mysterious and playful in the same sentence.”
“it’s true, though,” she insisted, crossing her arms with a smug grin. “i’m pretty good at reading people.”
“clearly,” he said, his tone teasing, though there was a warmth in his gaze as he looked at her. then, after a pause, he added, “you know, no one’s ever said anything like that about me before. it’s.. weirdly nice to hear.”
she tilted her head, her smile softening. “you’re welcome.”
he chuckled again, shaking his head. “alright, since you’re so good at reading people, what does that make you?”
her eyes lit up at the challenge, but she hesitated for a moment, her expression growing thoughtful. “hmm.. i guess you’ll just have to figure that out for yourself,” she said with a sly smile, leaving him to wonder as she walked further and quicker, the conversation still lingering between them.
they walked in comfortable silence for a moment, the sound of their footsteps echoing softly. the quiet of the town felt almost intimate, like they were the only two people in the world.
“where are we going?” he finally asked, watching as she spun around to face him briefly, walking backward with an impish grin.
“you’ll see,” she replied, her voice sing-song. “it’s a surprise.”
“i don’t like surprises,” he muttered, though there was no real bite to his words.
“well, you’ll like this one,” she countered, skipping ahead. “trust me.”
the library loomed ahead, its lights dimmed, the glass doors reflecting the moonlight. seungmin frowned. “wait. isn’t the library closed?”
“of course, it is,” she said casually, fishing a key out of her pocket. “but i work here, remember?”
“that doesn’t sound very legal, miss librarian.”
she laughed softly, “relax, mr. rule follower. felix closed up about half an hour ago, and i have permission to be here after hours. perks of the job.”
“okay,” she said, breaking the silence. “last question before we get there. what’s your happiest memory?”
he looked at her, caught off guard by the question. “happiest memory? that’s a tough one.”
“well, think about it,” she urged, her voice soft but insistent. “it doesn’t have to be big. just something that made you really happy.”
he thought for a moment, his gaze distant. “probably my first baseball game as a kid. my dad and grandpa took me. i remember the crowd, the excitement, the smell of popcorn. it was perfect.”
she smiled warmly. “that sounds amazing. thanks for sharing.”
he glanced at her, his expression unreadable. “what about you? what’s your happiest memory?”
she paused, her steps slowing. “probably… baking cookies with my mom when i was little. she’d let me lick the spoon, and we’d make such a mess, but it was always so much fun.”
her voice had taken on a wistful tone, and he found himself studying her face, the way her eyes softened with the memory.
“you’re really close to your mom, huh?” he asked gently.
“yeah,” she said softly, her smile bittersweet, as she didn't say more.
before he could say anything else, she stopped abruptly and turned to him with a grin. “we’re here.”
he looked up, realizing they had arrived at the library. the sight of it felt almost surreal in the quiet of the night.
“come on,” she said, pulling out her key and unlocking the door. “i’ve got something to show you.”
he followed her inside, the familiar scent of books and polished wood enveloping them. the quiet was even deeper now, the kind of silence that felt sacred. she flipped on a small desk lamp near the entrance, its warm glow casting long shadows across the shelves.
“you said you write and like literature, right? so what made you start writing in the first place?” seungmin asks her.
she paused mid-step as they walked through the library aisle, the soft glow of her phone flashlight illuminating the dust particles that floated lazily in the air. she turned her head to glance at seungmin, her expression thoughtful, as if the question had unlocked a memory she hadn’t revisited in a while.
“wow,” she said, breaking into a small smile, “that’s a deep question. you’re really pulling out the big guns tonight.”
seungmin leaned casually against the nearest bookshelf, crossing his arms with a faint smirk. “what can i say? i’m curious. you seem like the type who’d have a good story behind it.”
“flattery will get you nowhere,” she teased, sticking her tongue out at him. but then her expression softened as she considered his question more seriously. “i guess… it all started when i was little. mum loved stories. she’d always read to me before bed—fairy tales, myths, even poems sometimes. and she’d make up her own stories too, ones that no one else could tell like she did.”
seungmin nodded, his gaze steady on her as she spoke. he didn’t interrupt, sensing there was more to this than just bedtime stories.
“she had this way of making the ordinary feel magical,” she continued, her voice quieter now, as if she were speaking more to herself than to him. “when i was about seven, i remember her telling me that everyone has a story worth sharing. that stuck with me. writing became my way of… i don’t know, capturing moments, feelings, the things i was afraid i’d forget.”
there was a brief silence, the kind that felt heavy but not uncomfortable. seungmin tilted his head slightly, his voice softer than usual. “and you still feel that way. that everyone has a story.”
she turned to him fully, her lips curving into a small, sincere smile. “yeah, i do. even if someone thinks their life is boring or unimportant, there’s always something unique about how they see the world. i think that’s worth writing down.”
his expression shifted slightly, his usual neutral demeanor replaced with something warmer, more introspective. “that’s… a nice way to look at it.”
she chuckled lightly, breaking the intensity of the moment. “you sound surprised.”
“i’m not,” he said, shrugging one shoulder. “it just makes sense. it sounds like you.”
she blinked, taken aback for a second, before a faint flush crept up her cheeks. “well, thanks, i guess. so, mr. musician slash baseball guy, your turn. what made you pick up the guitar?” she said, still walking around the dark library, slowly, as he followed behind.
seungmin shifted his weight, suddenly looking a little sheepish. “honestly? i think it started because i wanted to impress someone.”
she raised an eyebrow, her curiosity piqued. “oh? do tell.”
he let out a small laugh, shaking his head. “it’s not that exciting. back in middle school, i had this.. huge crush on someone. she played piano, and i thought maybe if i learned guitar, we could do some duet thing.”
she burst into laughter, the sound light and infectious. “that’s so cute! did it work?”
“not at all,” he admitted, his own laugh mingling with hers. “i was terrible back then. and she moved schools before i even got the courage to play in front of her.”
she grinned at him, her eyes sparkling with amusement. “well, at least you stuck with it. now you’re here, a brooding baseball player with a secret musical side. very intriguing.”
“brooding again?” he teased, narrowing his eyes at her playfully.
“hey, it’s your aesthetic,” she said with a mock-serious shrug. “don’t fight it.”
they both laughed, the sound echoing softly through the quiet library. after a moment, she nudged his arm. “but seriously, i think it’s cool that you play. even if you started for, uh, questionable reasons.”
“questionable?” he repeated, pretending to be offended.
“okay, fine, romantic reasons,” she corrected, grinning. “but you must’ve kept playing for more than just that, right?”
he hesitated, looking down at the worn wooden floor beneath them. “yeah. after a while, it stopped being about anyone else. i started to enjoy it for what it was. there’s something calming about it, you know? like it’s just you and the music.”
her smile softened, her voice gentle. “i get that. music has a way of making everything else disappear, even if it’s just for a little while.”
her back and his chest collided suddenly, when she paused her footsteps to look around. their eyes met briefly, and for a moment, the space between them felt charged with an unspoken understanding. then she cleared her throat, breaking the moment with a grin. “alright, enough with the deep talk. we’re here.”
she gestured to a row of shelves, her excitement bubbling up again. seungmin watched as she reached up, pulling down a few old, dusty books and placing them on a nearby table, after turning the lights on.
“these,” she said, running her fingers over the faded covers, “belonged to my mom. she loved music almost as much as she loved literature.”
he approached the table, his curiosity evident as he looked at the books. “why are you showing me this?”
“because,” she said, her tone soft but earnest, “you’re still learning, right? these might help. and i don’t know, it just felt right to share them with you.”
seungmin glanced at her, a flicker of something unreadable crossing his face. “bold of you to assume i'm gonna take something that belongs to someone who has more passion for music than i do.”
“bold of you to assume i'm letting you leave without it.”
she smiled, softly. “these books, seungmin, helped her a lot. now, it's no use to her because she's learnt all from them. so, giving this to you seems as the best option, especially when compared to letting them catch dust in these shelves.”
seungmin picked up one of the books, flipping through the yellowed pages. the notes in the margins and the slight creases on the edges gave it a sense of history. he hesitated, then glanced back at her. “you know, you make it sound like this is some kind of inheritance or something. like i’m supposed to treat this like a family heirloom.”
she chuckled lightly. “well, maybe it is, in a way. but if anyone’s going to appreciate it, i figured it’d be you.”
he tilted his head, giving her a curious look. “why me? there are probably a hundred other people who’d jump at the chance to take something like this. people who might actually deserve it.”
her gaze softened as she met his eyes. “because you care,” she said simply. “even if you try to hide it, i can see it. music means something to you. and i think that’s enough of a reason.”
he looked at her for a moment, the words sinking in. then, with a small smirk, he set the book back on the table. “you’re really good at guilt-tripping, you know that?”
“it’s not guilt-tripping!” she said, crossing her arms with a playful smile. “it’s… persuasion.”
seungmin let out a breath, shaking his head in amusement. “fine. but only if you let me return them when i’m done. deal?”
“deal,” she said, her smile widening. “but i don’t think you’ll want to give them back. just saying.”
he laughed, picking up the book again and tucking it under his arm. “you really don’t let people argue with you, do you?”
“not when i know i’m right,” she quipped, earning a small shake of his head and a smile as he started for the door.
“hey,” he softly reached out, “thank you.”
she turned to him, her grin returning. “you’re welcome. but you owe me now.”
he chuckled softly, shaking his head. “what do i owe you?”
“hmmm,” she pretended to think. “how about.. a song? once you learn something new from these books, you have to play it for me.”
his lips quirked up in a small, reluctant smile. “deal.”
seungmin carried the stack of books they’d borrowed from the library, his expression as neutral as ever, but there was an unmistakable warmth to his presence. she walked beside him, hands shoved into the pockets of her jacket, her usual smile tugging at the corners of her lips.
“thanks for helping me with the books,” she said, glancing sideways at him.
“no problem,” he replied casually. then, after a beat, he smirked. “i mean, it’s only fair since you’re sharing your mom’s secret stash with me.”
she chuckled, bumping her shoulder lightly against his. “it’s not really a ‘secret stash.’ it’s just stuff that mattered to her. stuff that matters to me.”
he looked at her, his gaze softer now. “that’s what makes it important.”
her steps faltered slightly, caught off guard by the sincerity in his voice. she recovered quickly, brushing it off with a small laugh. “look at you, mr. philosophical. spending time with me is really rubbing off on you, huh?”
“i think i deserve some credit,” he teased. “i was already pretty deep before.”
“sure,” she said with exaggerated skepticism. “if by ‘deep,’ you mean good at dodging questions about yourself.”
“i answer questions,” he defended, raising an eyebrow at her.
“uh-huh,” she shot back, grinning. “vague answers don’t count.”
their banter was interrupted by the sound of excited chatter. up ahead, near an open lot, a group of kids and a few elderly folks were gathered, their laughter mingling with the occasional crackle of fireworks. sparklers lit up the night, little bursts of light spinning in the hands of children as they ran around, their faces glowing with pure joy.
she slowed her pace, her eyes lighting up as she took in the scene. “oh, that looks so fun.”
“really?” seungmin asked, raising an eyebrow as he followed her gaze. “it’s just sparklers.”
“just sparklers?” she echoed, feigning offense. “excuse me, but sparklers are the most magical thing ever. you clearly don’t understand their charm.”
before he could respond, one of the kids noticed them and waved enthusiastically. “noona! hyung! do you want to play with us?”
her face broke into a wide grin. “of course! seungmin, come on!”
he hesitated, looking a little awkward. “i don’t think—”
“don’t think, just come,” she interrupted, grabbing his wrist and pulling him toward the group. he stumbled slightly but didn’t resist, letting her drag him along.
the kids and elders greeted them warmly, handing them sparklers and showing them where to place their books and bags safely away from the fireworks. y/n immediately lit her sparkler, holding it up and twirling it around with a delighted laugh.
“see?” she said, looking over at seungmin. “magic.”
he couldn’t help but smile at her, even as he reluctantly lit his own sparkler. “if you say so.”
“come on, you have to at least try to have fun,” she teased, stepping closer to him. “look, like this.” she moved her arm in a sweeping motion, drawing a glowing pattern in the air with her sparkler. “isn’t it pretty?”
he watched her, his sparkler momentarily forgotten in his hand. the orange-golden light reflected in her eyes, her face alight with joy. she looked so completely in her element, like the world around her had faded away, and she was just… glowing.
“you’re staring,” one of the elders said suddenly, catching him off guard. his tone was teasing, and his cheeks flushed as he was caught.
“a-ah sorry. i wasn’t,” he lied, quickly focusing on his sparkler. “i was just lost.. in thought!”
“you seem to have feelings for her, don't you?” the ahjussi asked.
“we're just friends.”
“that's what they all say, kid,” the ahjussi laughed, “and that's what i said when i met her, too.” he pointed towards a lady of the same age as him. “she was, is, and always will be everything to me.”
seungmin only glanced between them, gaze softening, and the moment being interrupted by y/n's voice.
“seungmin!” she called, giggling with the kids, “look! we fused all the colors of all the sparklers together and it made a rainbow!”
seungmin could only stare at her with a smile.
“good luck, kid.”
one of the kids ran up to them, holding out a small box of colorful sparklers. “noona, hyung! these ones make a big circle when you spin them really fast!”
y/n took one eagerly, thanking the child before lighting it and spinning it around. she let out a delighted laugh as it created a bright, shimmering circle in the air. “seungmin, try it!”
he took one reluctantly, lighting it and attempting the same motion. his first try was clumsy, earning a giggle from her.
“okay, that was terrible,” she said, stepping closer. “here, let me show you.”
before he could protest, she reached out, her hand brushing against his as she guided his arm. “like this,” she said, her voice softer now. the proximity between them suddenly felt charged, the air around them growing quieter despite the noise of the sparklers and laughter.
he followed her lead, their hands moving together in a smooth arc. the sparkler drew a perfect circle in the air, its light casting a warm glow over their faces.
“there,” she said, her smile bright and triumphant. “much better.”
“thanks to you,” he said, his voice quieter than usual.
their eyes met for a moment, the sparkler’s glow reflecting in both their gazes. it was one of those moments where time seemed to slow, the world around them fading into the background.
then, one of the kids yelled, “noona, hyung! look at this!” breaking the spell. she stepped back, laughing nervously as she turned to watch the child show off their new sparkler trick.
seungmin exhaled softly, a small smile tugging at his lips as he watched her. even in the chaos of sparklers and children’s laughter, she was like a beacon of light, drawing everyone—and him—toward her.
as the night wore on, they stayed with the group, laughing, playing, and creating memories under the starry sky. and though neither of them said it out loud, they both knew this evening would stay with them for a long, long time.
and maybe, just maybe, something shifted in the quiet corners of both their hearts that night.
Tumblr media
taglists ୨୧ (mt) @cosmicalily @hyunjiiza @woozarts (st) @vixensss @miyeonna
!! please let me know under this chapter post, or this one, if i forgot you in the taglist, my inactivity made me lose track, i'm really sorry !!
97 notes · View notes
thhestia · 6 hours ago
Text
I think we should talk more about Cassandra and Caitlyn, so i hope you don't mind my yapping :D
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Cassandra deeply cared about Caitlyn and her opinions. She loved her daughter so dearly but didn't know how to show it.
I'm not saying that Cassandra was perfect, because she was not. She was as imperfect as any other character in Arcane. But she was not a bad mother.
Cassandra sheltered Cailtyn because she didn't want her to get hurt, she prevented her from seeing the real world by being overprotective. She did that knowing that it would strain their relationship, she even took the risk of her own daughter resenting her. But Cassandra's sheltering made Caitlyn do rebellious acts that her mother wouldn't have approved.
Caitlyn had never realized how much she wanted her mother's approval untill she died, so she did things that she thought that Cassandra would have approved of; like dating Maddie but all Cassandra wanted was her daughter's safety.
Cassandra was actually trying to protect Caitlyn from all the things that she suffered the whole series. Mothers have a "sixth sense".
A mother always knows.
And we see this in Cassandra's last moment with Caitlyn. Cassandra sensed that Vi was important to Caitlyn, she nodded her head, when Vi left the council room, signaling Caitlyn to follow after her; she knew that Vi was important to her daughter. In their last interaction what Cassandra did was to give Caitlyn her approval to go after Vi. She was one of the very few people who saw through Caitlyn.
Tumblr media
The last thing Cassandra did, her final choice in the meeting wasn't just for the benefit of the two cities, it was also for Caitlyn.
All Cassandra cared was her daughter's safety but everything that she made to protect her daughter did nothing but strain their mother-daughter relationship and at the end, Caitlyn got hurt more than Cassandra could've imagined.
Do you guys think that Caitlyn sometimes thinks "my mother was right"?
Tumblr media Tumblr media
also, i know i never post about Arcane but i really wanted to talk about them.
sorry if some sentences make no sense, i wrote this at 4 am
81 notes · View notes
janaelalfysloml · 3 days ago
Text
Tumblr media
you’re gonna go far - pazzi x reader
a/n: okay this is based off a thing that @starlighttsv posted ! this story is gonna have things abt suicide , mental health and all of that stuff so if your not comfortable please dont read ! ilysm and if anybody needs anything im here or you can text or call 988 !
warnings: maybe typos? , suicide , death , mental health , grief , antidepressants
November 18th, 2024
you’ve always had mental health issues, but never like this. you’re psychiatrist prescribed you lexapro to help with your depression & anxiety , but they haven’t helped. you’ve talked to paige and azzi about you mental health , and they’ve helped but they haven’t thoughts are still there. just recently you’ve been getting suicidal thoughts. you spent all of your nights studying & wondering about what life would be like if you were no longer here. schools been torturing you and you dont feel happy anymore. you wanted to reach out to someone, but you didn’t want to feel like a burden. you decided to take a nap to clear your mind for a couple of hours.
November 21st, 2024
you decided that tomorrow was the day. you’ve dealt with everything for way to long and you couldn’t take it. you spent the whole day talking with paige and azzi , trying to make the most out of your time with them. they wouldn’t have known that you were choosing to make a decision that you could never take back. “we should go out and do something fun! your always in the house” azzi told you, as you went to your room to get ready. you put on some jeans with a brown shirt and your uggs.
you guys drove to the apple orchard, something you haven’t dont since you were little. you tried your best to make the most out of the day and tried to be happy with them. paige put her arm around you while you guys walked. it made you feel good and you started to regret what you were going to do tonight. “i love you so much, yknow?” paige said as she kissed your hand. “we should go to target, the apartment is missing some things.” azzi said as she skipped ahead of you guys.
paige and azzi were out , they had a late practice today. you finished cleaning and restocking the apartment , when your thoughts came back. you went and laid in your bed as you wrote your final notes to everyone you loved. you were set on this , eventually you texted and left some voicemails for paige and azzi. you felt so empty, so alone . you didn’t want to die, you just wanted your thoughts and feelings to stop. you walked into the walk in closet of your room that you shared with paige and azzi . you grabbed the chair , tied the knot , and hung yourself.
after paige & azzis practice
“why’d y/n call us so many times?” paige asked as she walked to her car. “i have like 80 voicemails from her, it’s weird.” azzi said as her and paige drove off.
“hey y/n?” paige shouted as she walked into the apartment, unaware of what she was about to see. she eventually made her way into the walk in closet and saw you. “shit,” paige said as she tried to get you down. “azzi call someone, she’s not breathing.” paige said as she laid you on the floor, trying everything & praying that somehow you’d wake up, knowing deep down that you never would.
eventually, help came. paige and azzi wrote the handwritten notes that you had left for them, and the rest of your loved ones. in your note, you apologized that they found you this way and that you were sorry for being selfish because you took your life. “she was so happy, and full of life, what happened? what did we do?” azzi said, her eyes were red and puffy from how much she cried. they would always be scarred for life, because of how they had found you. “did we say something, or do something? we were always with her when we could be.” paige said, she was numb, inside and out. “i can’t do the game tomorrow without her. i dont want to.” paige added on.
a/n: okay yall i physically cannot finish this im litterally sobbing what. this is the most thought I’ve ever put into a story and im proud. @starlighttsv i hope this is what you were asking for !! also my dms are always open to anyone! i love u so much y’all!!
99 notes · View notes
secretlyazombi3 · 20 hours ago
Text
Nightmares... ⊹₊⟡⋆
Tumblr media
RE4R leon x GN! Reader
๋࣭ ⭑⚝word count:  1.5k words ๋࣭ ⭑⚝ SFW, 2nd person,  gender neutral reader
๋࣭ ⭑⚝ summary: Leon’s no stranger to nightmares, but this time his nightmare involved you, and he needs your comfort.
๋࣭ ⭑⚝ a/n: I’m so sorry for not posting for a month 😭 I genuinely have no ideas for what to write, pls send me requests yall. I just wrote this to get back into the flow of writing .
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
It wasn’t unusual for Leon to fight sleep like it was his enemy. He remembered having nightmares as a kid, dreams about his parents' deaths plagued him, even when he was in college.
Raccoon City just seriously escalated things. His mind warped every memory of that damned night and looped it in his head like it was his brain’s favorite film. It was like Leon’s personal hell, and it often felt his brain was working against him. 
His nightmares slightly eased up since you moved in - he felt safer with you in bed next to him. The warmth of your body next to him made his muscles relax, cuddling with you felt therapeutic. 
But the nightmares didn’t stop. 
This night, Leon jerked awake from his nightmare, sitting up in bed. Sweat slicked his forehead, his hair was damp and sticking to his skin. 
He felt hot, but he didn’t want to throw the sheets off of himself and risk waking you. 
Leon leaned back against the headboard, placing a hand on his chest as he tried slowing his breathing. He could feel his heart racing even as he assured himself it was just another stupid nightmare. A cruel prank played on him by his brain.
Leon was looking around the room, mentally naming five things he could see to try and ease his mind. Focus on anything but the dream. Ground himself back in reality. 
As Leon felt around for 4 things he could touch, he finally noticed you had stirred awake from Leon jerking awake and breathing heavily.
 The moonlight peeked through the blinds, giving enough light in the room for you to be able to see Leon’s pretty face. You made eye contact with him for a second, sitting up as you looked at his face - he looked so distressed. “Did I wake you?” Leon asked quietly, his voice raspy from just waking up. He gently brushed some of your hair out of your face. Even when he needed comfort, more than anything, he stayed focused on you. 
“Yeah, but it’s fine.” you replied, noticing Leon’s breathing was still shaky and uneven. “Another nightmare..?” You asked. It wasn’t your first time being woken by Leon being jolted awake from a dream. 
Leon nodded slightly. His expression made him look like a lost puppy. 
You moved a bit closer to Leon before speaking again, “You wanna talk about it? You seem upset.” You asked as you tilted your head slightly. 
Leon glanced down at the bed before looking back at you. “Yeah.. I just,” Leon started, swallowing and taking a quick deep breath before continuing. “I just had another stupid nightmare… about Raccoon City.” Leon said quietly. He ran his fingers through his hair - the hair sticking to his skin was making him feel overwhelmed on top of being hot and trapped under blankets. 
“Yeah…? That must’ve been awful. I’m so sorry, Lee.” you replied quietly, watching his expression carefully. 
“It was a pretty typical nightmare. I was trapped in that city, being chased by that tyrant. I saw innocents die, watched parents kill their own children, saw the city go up in flames.” Leon said. He exhaled slowly. 
You nodded your head as you listened. “It’s okay…” you said, gently placing your hand on his back. “You’re safe here, okay?” you assured him. Leon looked at the bed, closing his eyes for a second and furrowing his brows as he thought about the dream. Images of dead bodies he had seen that night in Raccoon City flashed in his mind. 
“I… I mean, it- it was a bit different than my normal nightmares.” Leon admitted, opening his eyes and looking back at you. He studied your face for a second. 
“Yeah?” You replied, your hand stroking Leon’s back. 
“Yeah. This time, you… you were there. It’s stupid because I know you weren’t actually there that night, but I guess my brain just remixed my memories..? It felt so real in the moment, I didn’t even think about how little sense it made.” Leon said. 
Leon watched you tilt your head a bit as you listened to him describe his nightmare. He felt choked up seeing your face.
“You were there, in the middle of the mess. I… I was trying to help you, save you from that hell. But I couldn’t get to you in time, it-it was like I was running in slow motion, I guess is how I’d describe it.” Leon added. He sighed and shook his head. 
“It’s stupid,” he mumbled, looking away and towards the window. “I shouldn’t be getting upset over a damn dream.” “No, it’s not. It’s okay to be upset by a nightmare, it sounded awful. There’s nothing wrong with being upset about this. That’s just a normal response.” you assured him. 
He looked back at you. His lip trembled ever so slightly. His expression stayed about the same as it always was, no real emotion on his face. You knew he hated showing any emotion.
 He paused for a second before continuing. “I feel like I shouldn’t be this stressed over it, I’m a grown man, I’m not a child,” Leon said, his voice slightly cracking. He furrowed his brows as he looked at you. “Seeing your face now just makes me think of what you looked like in that dream. Screaming for me to help you. Getting brutalized by zombies…” Leon said, trailing off slightly. 
He turned his head ever so slightly and the moonlight showed he had watery eyes. Tears were forming in the corner of his eyes, but he didn’t want to cry in front of you. “I regret a lot about that night. I wish I could’ve saved more people. And all those innocent families that were in that city before it was blown to ash.” Leon said. “I-I know I can’t save everyone. Trying to save just one person will lead to the deaths of hundreds of others. But if I could try to save anyone, I’d want to save you.” Leon added, his voice beginning to tremble. You continued to stroke his back. He leaned into the touch, your presence was comforting and your touch could soothe him better than anything. 
“That dream reminded me that I’m a failure, I can’t save anyone, I want to protect you, but I don’t know if I’m strong enough to.” Leon’s voice trembled. He felt a tear finally escape his eyes as he blinked. 
“Lee..” You whispered as you noticed his tears. 
He quickly wiped his face, sniffling. “Fuck, I’m sorry.” he said. He hated this feeling of vulnerability, he hated feeling weak. “No, no, it’s okay.” You assured him. He avoided your gaze, feeling embarrassed that he let someone see him cry. How could he ever even try to protect you if he was crying over a dream? “Leon, look at me, please?” you whispered, you placed your hand on his cheek and forced him to look at you. 
Leon furrowed his eyebrows as he looked at you, clearly fighting back even more tears. “It’s okay to cry, you don’t have to apologize for that, baby. I’m not mad at you, or upset at you or anything at you for crying.” you reassured him. “It’s normal to cry. The shit you went through is so much more than anything most people go through.” your thumb rubbed against his cheek. “You’re very strong, you know?” 
Leon’s lip quivered and he shook his head. 
“You are strong.” You assured him. Leon felt more tears leak. “Stronger than anyone I know. I know you want to protect me and keep me safe, but you should know I want to keep you safe too.” 
Leon moved closer to you, resting his head on your shoulder as he wrapped his arms around you. He didn’t want you to ever leave his sight. “I love you.” Leon mumbled into your neck. He inhaled your scent, which was calming. It helped him ground himself - you were here, alive, comforting him. Not being torn apart by zombies. 
“I love you too.” You whispered back, your fingers combing his hair as he held you closer. “I really don’t deserve you.” Leon added. He couldn’t believe you didn’t find it embarrassing or unattractive or unmanly for crying. He gripped you tightly. 
“Don’t say that.” You replied. “It’s true, you… you’re so understanding. Even though I’m being weak.” 
“It’s not true. I’m not too good for you because I’m doing what any partner would do and comfort you.” Leon didn’t say anything back. He stayed there for a moment, enjoying the warmth of your body and your fingers in his hair. 
Once he felt better, he laid back down in bed. He knew he’d have trouble falling back asleep, but at least he had you. You rested on top of him the rest of the night, Leon used you as a weighted blanket. 
Your ear was pressed against Leon’s chest, listening to his heartbeat as he stroked your back. You shut your eyes, feeling Leon’s hand slowly stop moving and feeling Leon’s chest slowly rise and fall as he fell back asleep. Once you were sure Leon was back to sleeping peacefully, you felt like you could fall back asleep. It hurts you to see Leon always put himself down for not being able to keep you safe. You wished he could realize how protected you felt falling asleep in his arms every night. 
71 notes · View notes
maenoakasuna · 2 days ago
Note
Hi! I saw your request post. Would you write a short platonic fic with either Alastor or Lucifer? I don’t see very many of those often and they’re cute and funny. Thanks!😁
Them as a Boyfriends
• Hello ! Sorry for the waiting, but the request is finally out ! So, it's not a fic, but more some uncanon fact about Lucifer and Alastor as boyfriend. I wasn't sure what did you mean by platonic so I stayed in the romantic part, somehow. It's not 100% romantic but I think it's still cute. Hope You will ( all ) like it :)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
_________________________ L U C I F E R ________________________
-Will always Hold your hand in public or give a kiss on it
-He will open every door for you or push the chair when you’re sit on it ( What a gentlemen )
-If you’re sick he will rush to the drugstore and maybe overreact by buying every meds or painkiller he could find, just to be sure you will have to good thing
-If you fall asleep somewhere, he will gently bring you to your room without waking you up. He will just take you in his arms.
-At Night, if you’re not able to sleep, he will take you in his arms and fly across hell to show you everything. 
-He’s not jealous but if you spend more time with others and less with him, he will be sad and think he’s not enough for you. His insecurities and depression will take him over. He will say he’s alright but that’s not true. He just doesn't want to bother you with his negative thoughts. 
-If you’re mad about him, he will do EVERYTHING to get your forgiveness. He can’t handle you being mad at him. And he will sincerely be sorry for whatever He did.
-If you had a bad day, he will just prepare your favorite Meal, prepare you a hot bath with bubbles and after that you are gonna eat in front of your favorite movie or show with a lot of warm blankets.
-He’s not really good at cooking except for making pancakes but he try his best
-He's the kind of boyfriend to like wearing matching outfits or accessories.
-He’s the family type of guy. Will be more than happy to have kids with you if it’s what you want to, but will never pressure you or talk about it if it’s not something you plan. He already have charlie anyway and he’s 100% with that.
-If you have periods, he’s the type to get a little nervous and will ask you if you need anything, but he’s kinda scared of the side symptome. Like should he give you chocolate and cuddle you or should He just give you space ? He doesn't really know how to handle that but he always does his best. Just tell him what you need.
-His favorit type of kiss his on the forehead. Lips are cute but forehead kisses are everything. It mean more to him than any other type of kisses.
-His favorit pet name for you is : Little Love or My love
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
_________________________A L A S T O R_________________________
-Showing affection his not his cup of tea, but sometimes, he will put his arm around your waist.
-Just like Lucifer he will open every door for you, like a gentlemen.
-He usually don’t care when people ask him to do something, but coming from you he will do it without even asking.
-He’s a great cook and now how to cock many things. Ask and you will have.
-Will agree to do skin care with you or let you paint his nails
-If you’re sick he will wrap you in too much blanket and cook some soup, bring you medicinal tea and don’t you dare leave your bed.
-If you’re sad he will take you out for a walk and will let you talk about what happened. He will not say a word, just listen to you in silence until you reach a beautiful place. You will completely forget why you were sad and just enjoy the landscape.
-His favorite Pet Name for you gonna be : My Dear, darling
-If someone hurt you, physically or mentally, no one is gonna see this person ever again. If you ask him if he was him who did this, he will not deny it but will not say he did something. 
-He’s not jealous but he don’t like other touching you. If someone start to be to touchy with you, he will give this person a scary warning to fuck off.
-If you ever work with the Vees…darling, believe me, you want. You don’t want to face this creepy part of your boyfriend. 
-If you have periods, Alastor will stay calm, get you everything you need and even accept to cuddle if you are in pain.
-Even if physical touch is not his thing, his favorite place to kiss you is on the cheeks or the top of your hand.
-If you’re mad at him, he will apologize and that’s pretty much it. Get over it and if you don’t, that’s not his problem.
-If you fall asleep somewhere, he will put a blanket on you and stay close until you wake up and will escort you to your room, making sure you are safe.
-If you ever talk about having kids with him, he will just laugh and say with his natural big smile ‘’ I will think about it, my dear ‘’ ( Not, he will not )
-The only physical touch he really love, is when a nice music start, he like to take you for a dance and hold you close to him. He only dance with you. In private or public, he don’t care. That’s he’s way to show you love.
72 notes · View notes
abbysgolf-club · 22 hours ago
Note
Heey - I saw your post about wanting new requests so here we go I guess, I hope you'd like to write this :3
So I'm thinking Vi x Reader where the reader is a total softie / sweetheart who also lives in zaun. She has a crush on vi and vi knows about it but never really requited it. Or so she thought - one night the reader gets hit on by some scetchy dudes, it doesn't End well and she gets hurt (if you feel comfortable writing this of course!!). Vi sees all of this, kinda saves the reader and realizes that she has a lot more feelings for this lil softie than she thought. Maybe with heavy making out in the End <3
s3xual assault themes (it doesn't happen), pet names (cupcake, baby etc), not proof read, kinda rushed sorry if it's bad 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️
MDNI
You were sat in the bar, having your usual, a dirty dr pepper; minding your own business until you felt a hand on your shoulder.
"Hey there, pretty girl. Can i sit?" a man's voice rang through your ears, sending a shiver down your spine.
"go for it.." you muttered, sipping your drink and allowing him to sit next to you. It didn't take long for his hand to slither its way onto your leg. You didn't say anything at first out of fear, he might just be doing it in a friendly way?
You shuffled uncomfortably in your seat, trying to shake his hand off you. it didn't budge. "Hey, dude. do you mind..?" you asked him, kinda hoping he'd get the hint and get the fuck off you.
"What's the matter baby? Are you being ungrateful?" he smirked, trailing his hand further up your thigh. "Tell me baby, tell me this is what you want."
You froze, unable to do anything. panicking, you chucked your drink on him, hoping he'd back up. spoiler alert, he didn't.
"Ooh, feisty. i like it." he chuckled, his voice low and sultry. "Give into me. You know you want to." his grip on your thigh tightening.
"Get off of me, please!" You tried to fight out of his grip, but failed. Tears formed in your eyes as he got closer and closer to what he wants, your protests, pleads and tears didn't stop him. If anything it pushed him to do it more.
"Dude, can't you see she doesn't want you near her!?" A familiar voice called out from a few feet away. "Get off of her." the voice continued, the person stepping closer. it was vi.
The guys hand stayed on your thigh, his grasp almost painful. "And who are you to stop me?" he challenged, allowing her to get closer and closer to the two of you.
Vi rolled her eyes, throwing a hit at the guy groping you. "You heard me. leave her alone, man" she raised her voice a little, getting up close and personal in the guys face. "Get out of here" she spat, raising her fist to punch the guy again. before she got the chance to get another hit, he scrambled off, his grip on your thigh finally leaving aswell as him.
Vi watched him leave, the look of frustration and anger leaving to become more of an empathetic look along with something else you couldn't quite put your finger on.
"You okay, cupcake? he didn't hurt you did he?" Her voice was soft and calm as she held your hand cautiously.
"I'm okay, just glad he left." you smiled softly, the feeling of that guys hand still lingering on your thigh. "Thank you." you blushed, you'd had a crush on Vi for as long as you could remember. Her saving you from a pervy guy added to that crush. dramatically.
"No worries cupcake, always here to help." She smirked, pulling you up out of your seat. "How 'bout we get out of here, yeah?" she asked, her hand interlocking with yours as she guided you out of the bar and into a dimly lit alleyway.
You followed her out into the alleyway, hugging her after she leaned up against the wall. "Woah cupcake, you all good?" her voice shocked, but comforting as she wrapped her arms around your waist, embracing the hug.
"Yeah.. thank you, for stopping that guy. who knows what coulda happened" you murmured into the crook of her neck, taking in her scent as you did.
"Don't worry about it, anyone woulda done the same." she hummed, trying to act nonchalant and not being too successful. Her face was a little pink and her voice a little wobbly.
Her hand reached up to your face to look at you before she pulled you into a soft kiss, gentle and loving.
You pulled back for a second, taking a breath before smashing your lips against hers. Your tongues exploring eschothers mouths. you couldn't believe this was happening.
55 notes · View notes
genderqueerdykes · 1 day ago
Note
I'm transfemme now, but back when I thought I was a guy or demi guy, I left tumblr years ago because of all the posts I saw that amounted to "men bad even if not cis", so... I kinda relate to what you and your followers feel, in my own way I guess.
I just wanted to say that I'm sorry this is still happening, and I'm so so glad you're calling it for what it is. Is there a way to support you?
Or more generally for transfemmes to fight transandrophobia as a whole? We have enough hate from the outside without it coming from within!
thank you so much for taking the time to send this ask i really appreciate it! i've actually had other transfemmes point this out, so thank you for giving me another chance to talk about it!
i'm sorry this happened to you. i would've left too, in your shoes. people don't understand that demiguys aren't just trans men or afab people. that still made you queer, but it didn't matter because you thought you were a guy. that's just so cruel. i can't think of any reason why that would be good or productive in any way. you should've been given time and a space to question. you should've been able to talk to ther people who understood you. you should've been able to take the time to figure yourself out
i've tried to point this out: man hating hurts transfemmes. a lot of transfemmes used to be cis men or another type of man. you need to give them time to question. we're forcing transfems to hurt up and transition right now or else they're not welcome. it's viewed as okay to be rude as hell to transfemmes who haven't fully pieced it together yet, never transition transfemmes, butch transfemmes, transfemmes who cant transition for safety reasons and so on. i don't get it
I just wanted to say that I'm sorry this is still happening, and I'm so so glad you're calling it for what it is. Is there a way to support you? Or more generally for transfemmes to fight transandrophobia as a whole? We have enough hate from the outside without it coming from within!
thank you so much for asking this! this is so kind i really appreciate it, it means a lot! i get a lot of important questions but i really like this one!
honestly most importantly is telling other transfemmes to unlearn their toxic masculinity & internalized misogyny. these two traits are rampant in certain transfemme spaces and it's really devastating. it's why this is happening to begin with. very specific transfemmes still have a lot of internalized toxic masculinity and hold trans men up to that standards. if they're not manly enough they get misgendered. a lot of transfemmes have internalized misogyny and instantly think that AFAB people and people perceived to be AFAB are dumb as bricks and it really shows. the more people who say hey this is misogyny and transandrophobia an it's really not making you look cool.
in general i'd say try to tell anyone who is man hating or going on about how easy it is for trans men, if it's not too painful, i would straight up tell people about how alienated you felt as a questioning guy. your experience matters and i'm sorry it was like that, but it has the power to make an impact on others. if it's too painful i understand, but helping people understand that it impacts so many people can help
i would point out that transfems rightfully so do not want transmascs speaking for them, and if that's expected of transmascs, then we gotta do the same and let them speak for themselves instead of talking for and over them. gently urge people to stop talking like they know what it's like to be a trans man just because they were raised and socialized as a cis man. its not the same as being socialized as a cis girl and living as a trans man
remind people that creating a term for transmasculine oppression helps the conversation become more visible, and that's a good thing. right now transmasculine erasure is at its peak and we need to stop saying that transandrophobia is simply just "transphobia," because then it gets lost in transmission and once again, we cannot refer to any kind of statistics to figure out just how many people transandrophobia affects. having a cat hiss reaction to trans men creating terms for their own oppression is genuinely hurting people
remind people that obsessing over who they hate is keeping them rooted in the past. they are not focusing on themselves. when someone is man hating they're focused on everyone but themselves. they can't get over the fact that some men have hurt them. the entirety of manhood is not what hurt them. it's never right to blame people who have not harmed you
i would tell people the existence of transmasculinity & trans manhood doesn't exist to mock transfemininity and trans womanhood. they are real experiences, and no they are not born from spite. there really are trans people out there who want to be men and mascs. try to discourage people from saying that transmascs and trans men are "cis girls looking for attention" at all costs.
anyways thank you so much for this ask i really appreciate it! i'm glad to know there are a lot of transfemmes out there who want to help and recognize this isn't helping. take care of yourself! please feel free to come back any time, i'd love to hear from you again
55 notes · View notes
psych0t1c-bread · 2 days ago
Text
@howlsofbloodhounds here's the fanfic I promised! Sorry it took me so long lol (and sorry that it's so long in the first place. I meant for this to only be 5k but... judging by the fact that this ended up being 10k, that didn't quite happen, did it?)
@adler9944 because you wanted to read it as well!
Also, the first half of the chapter is a flashback that sets the tone for the story. You can skip it if you want, but I wouldn't suggest it.
I also posted this on Ao3. I hope you like it! Enjoy!
The Right Time and Place
(Cw: swearing, dissociation, self-deprication, mention of blood, PTSD nightmares/flashbacks, etc.)
5 months.
It had been 5 months since Color escaped the VOID. 5 months since Core found him, 5 months since he had been accepted into the Omega Timeline, 5 months since he began to get adjusted to life outside the VOID, and 3 months since he had been introduced to Delta.
Color had learned a lot from being with Delta, casually observing his friend's behaviors to mirror them. He still didn't quite know how to act now that he was out of the VOID. But life seemed a bit more normal now, much easier than it had been - much better.
He watched Delta's movements and attitude with utmost curiosity, unintentionally mirroring it all. He felt like he knew everything about his friend - his hand movements, his interests, where he worked, his attitude, his sarcasm and sass, his confidence, his knowledge.
Color felt like he knew everything about Delta.
It was about 10 pm as Color thought about this. His drifting, heavy eyes slowly began to close as he thought about it while drifting off into dream. And for once, his memory served him well - he remembered how they met almost perfectly...
[For the first two months, Color had stayed in the hospital while Core tried to find a suitable roommate for him, or at least one that would be willing to try.
Luckily, their newest tenant in the apartments a couple blocks from the hospital seemed up for the challenge.
When Core had first approached him with the idea of a roommate, Delta naturally asked who they were, why they were here. He was curious, but needed to make sure it'd be safe for him to room with this person.
Core couldn't tell him much - just that his supposed roommate had arrived two months ago, depressed and malnourished, from a dark VOID where he was held captive for around 20 years based on the doctor's observations.
They weren't able to tell him much more.
It took Delta all of 10 seconds to make his decision. Core offered him time, but before they could even finish their sentence, he had decided to accept this new person.
He asked if he could at least visit his new roommate in the hospital. Core explained that he was near catatonic, and wasn't used to people - but that the doctors would help his new roommate get adjusted by stopping by once a day. (Bit intrusive in Delta's opinion, but if all of what Core said was true, then it was incredibly necessary to have the doctors stop by.)
He gladly accepted.
Once Color had been discharged, Core took him to meet Delta if he was feeling well enough for it. And luckily, at that moment, he was.
Core led him to a peaceful park at dusk, not wanting Color to be overwhelmed by the sun and the busy lives of the people who lived here just yet.
After a short walk, they found Delta, who was sitting on a bench and patiently waiting to meet his roommate.
The two hit it off the bat immediately.
Well, Delta did, at least. At first, his bright orange eyes - a sign Color later learned that meant he was on guard, or that Beta was watching from inside - deeply intimidated Color, with their white dragon-like pupils unintentionally glaring down at him.
But once he saw Delta smile, and happily introduce himself and offer a handshake, Color couldn't help but relax. He was... charismatic, in his own special way.
Their clothes were covered in dirt and grime, having just been called after work. He barely had time to take his goggles and apron off before rushing to wherever Core needed him.
(Truthfully, they had been expecting a fight, but were nonetheless happy to meet someone new.)
And from what Color could hear, Delta had been taking up work at an engineering place of sorts - making new gadgets, weapons, safety items.
Needless to say, Delta's first introduction to Color wasn't him at his prettiest. (Not to say he'd look bad in his work clothes covered in dirt, though...)
Yet still, Color felt himself being drawn to them. Something about them - their voice, their appearance - made them enticing. And it didn't go unnoticed how the Bravery Soul inside of him felt suddenly at ease, watching the other still closely but much more relaxed. There was some sort of... attachment, on Delta that he could feel.
Something new. Something he hadn't experienced with any other Sans before.
It was overwhelming at first. Delta was very excited to meet someone new - he couldn't seem to stop talking, unable to stop asking all the questions that came to their mind as they lightly bounced on their feet. They had an almost childlike curiosity to them.
Core gently shut them down, being direct yet cautious. They knew Delta had no idea about Color's past, and was rightfully curious - a bit too curious, but innocent in his curiosities.
Unfortunately, Color did not take that well.
He was polite, at first. He was able to smile and force himself to keep calm. But the longer the noise carried on, the more questions Delta asked that he didn't want to answer, the brighter the lights around them seemed to get - it was all quickly too much.
But upon seeing the distressed and aggravated look in his new friend's eyes, Delta stopped. He froze momentarily, seeming deep in thought, silently wondering if he was being too much already.
To fix this, they whipped out their backpack, quickly unzipped the big pocket, and pulled out some headphones.
Without hesitating, he offered it to Color.
The other tried to deny his needs at first, not wanting to seem like a burden so early on - look at him, how selfish he is. Burdening a stranger on their first meeting. And he hasn't even made it back to the apartment yet, barely even spoken a word to this stranger! What if he was being rude? What if Delta didn't want to be his roommate anymore because of this? Was he going to be left alone again? Was it his fault? What if this was a trap? Was Delta tricking him to trap him and keep him here forever? What if he was? What if he wasn't? What if-
His breathing began to grow heavy as these thoughts filled his mind. The lights, the noise - it was all too much. The fire in their skull crackled, glowing brighter by the second as a sharp, violent pain overtook their skull.
Instinctively, Delta tried to gently touch Color's shoulder to get him to focus and take the headphones. They could see the pain in Color's grimace, and wanted to help.
Unfortunately, Color snapped.
He jumped back, almost screaming at Delta to get away, making the other flinch and take a quick step back.
Before he could even process what was going on, Color had sunk to his knees as he trembled, violently restraining his sobs as his thoughts and pain overtook him. He frantically tried to cover his broken skull with his hood, desperately trying to block out all the lights around.
Silently, after he overcame the shock, Delta quietly began to analyze him. The Bravery Soul inside him demanded an answer for the outburst, but Delta didn't have one - that was, until, he heard faint sobs from the other.
He came to the quick conclusion that Color wasn't mad at them. He was mad at the world - for reasons unknown to Delta, obviously. He had only been told bits and pieces of vital information when Core had first approached him about it - he always needed to know what he was getting himself into before deciding something major.
Core glanced almost nervously at Delta. They knew his demeanor quite well - and they knew that if such kindness was rejected so harshly, it could get an even harsher reaction out of the hot-head. His silence was a bit unnerving.
But instead of growing irritated or aggressive, Delta opted for comfort. As much as people may know him for his his brash attitude and doubt that much good can come out of it, he knows when the right time for a fight is - and now is not that time. He wasn't gonna just start fighting someone who so obviously needed help! (Maybe not his help specifically, but it didn't look like anyone else besides from Core was gonna be of much use, so why not do what he can?)
Needless to say, both were surprised when Delta gently and cautiously crouched down in front of Color - still keeping his distance - and quietly called out to him.
Color managed to force himself to peek up from his hood, to see Delta sitting down and smiling a bit sadly at him, empathy glistening in his eyes.
Delta began to sign to him, unsure if it would work or if Color even knew sign language, but he knew that he shouldn't speak more to aggravate the other further. He kept his body a bit closer to the ground, not wanting to make Color look up in the light any more than he had to.
Cautiously, Delta offered to take Color somewhere quieter and safer. He mentioned that there was a library they could go to, it had a sensory room with blackout curtains if he needed a nap, and a Cafe in case he needed a drink or caffeine.
Color froze at the options. What was all of this that he was speaking of? A Cafe? Library? He didn't remember those words anymore. Stars, he could have sworn he heard about them in his dreams.
Was this all a dream, then? Was any of this real? What if it wasn't? Was he trapped somewhere, was he dreaming again? Was this reality or not? How could he tell?
But after Delta had finished signing, Color realized that he had stopped shaking so much. He didn't feel much calmer, as he was still hyperventilating, but he was able to see Delta clearly enough to listen. He found himself breathing a tiny bit slower, his body slowly relaxing the longer Delta held eye contact - he couldn't look away.
Color managed to regain his voice after a moment. He hadn't experienced kindness from someone else in so long... it felt amazing. And yet, that feeling was quickly overtaken by terror and suspicion.
Tears rolled down his skull as he managed to choke out that he wanted to go home. But what was home? Was it the VOID? His AU? Where was it, what was it? Was it with anyone?
Delta and Core were both quite surprised, but upon seeing the despiration in Color's eyes, Delta decided to back off on taking his friend anywhere new.
Core softly spoke up, offering to take Color back to his new apartment. But Color shook his head, unsure of where that was - if it even existed.
After about an hour of trying to talk Color down, Delta had managed to bring him back to reality and get him to take some deep breaths. He handed Color his water, which the other immediately snatched and downed in one go.
Delta was surprised, but gladly let the other take it. And once Color had managed to ground himself and calm down, they slowly stood and offered a hand up. (In truth, with how sudden the panic attack happened, he wasn't quite sure if Color would be able to walk without help.)
Color flinched back, his shaky hands tensing at the sudden movement. But when he saw Delta was genuinely offering to help, he paused.
He hesitated, unsure if touch would send him back over the edge. But the pain in his legs made it feel impossible to get up on his own.
He didn't want to get hurt or tricked. But the kindness in Delta's bright orange eyes told him that he was safe.
For once in his life, something was telling him he was safe.
Slowly, he reached out a shaking hand.
Delta gladly took it.
His tight, strong grip was like no other Color had felt - not in a while, at least. Their hands felt strong and safe, comforting Color and silently telling him that not a single Soul would dare to harm him - not if Delta was around to help it.
The orange metal gauntlet was a surprisingly smooth, almost soothing texture. It was slightly cold, but warmer than Color was expecting - was it always like that, or did Delta just do that for him?
And as Delta pulled him up with ease, Color felt their body practically melt into his hand. It helped that Color couldn't feel his bones - the gauntlet covered his hand fully, blocking out any physical contact from under it. And the fact that it was smooth and not rough or jagged or cold like other metals was the icing on the cake.
Quickly pulling him to his feet, Delta held his hands out just in case Color stumbled or collapsed again. But once his new friend was stable, Core began to lead them to the apartment.
Color still doubted his surroundings. He yanked his hand away from Delta after a moment, but mumbled a quiet 'thank you'. Delta responded with a bright smile.
As they walked in silence, Color couldn't help but notice a protective energy around the group - as if something was watching over them, keeping them safe, protecting them.
He glanced over at Delta.
He figured out where the energy was coming from.
If anyone dared to look in their direction as they made their way to the apartment, they were met with a fiercely protective glare from Delta - a silent promise of hurt if they dared approach with ill intentions. Their hands were kept firmly at their sides as they surveyed the surroundings, keeping track of every alleyway, every person, what they looked like.
Color felt safe. He didn't know why or how, or if it was a trick. But he felt his body relax slowly as they continued walking.
And after a 10 minute walk, they arrived at the apartment.
As Delta carefully held his keys as still as possible so they wouldn't jingle too much, he slowly cracked open the white door, and entered in.
It was fairly clean, though evident that Delta had been living there - he hadn't expected to have company so soon, but had a short warning beforehand (three days) so he could at least clean up the place. Everything was swept and dusted, but his work clothes and apron had been carelessly tosses into a pile near his bedroom door.
The dark, dull beige walls of the apartment greeted their eyes first. The light brown couch was lovingly worn down from Delta alone, with the TV remote resting on the class coffee table in front of it.
The TV stand was nothing fancy, either - not that Delta cared, anyhow. It was tidy with a few movie boxes and a DVD player on it, on the small shelf below the TV itself. The TV was a decent size, nothing huge but definetly big enough for multiple people to enjoy.
The big light above them had been left on, but Delta quickly shut it off as to not overwhelm Color. He silently slipped his shoes off before fully entering to reach for the lightswitch, walking on the cold wooden floors.
Looking a bit to his left, Color could see the open entrance to what Delta described as the kitchen. He could faintly see what looked like chairs and possibly a table.
To his right, he saw a hallway. Delta explained that it led to the bathroom and bedrooms, though Color couldn't quite remember what that meant.
Color remained frozen in the doorway. He saw dozens of items he had a vague memory of, but didn't know the names.
Delta silently awaited a reaction, wanting to ensure Color didn't get overwhelmed. Though, to him, there wasn't much to get overwhelmed about. But judging by Color's earlier reactions, he wasn't quite sure if it would be the same.
Softly, Color asked what the new items were.
Delta was quite surprised by that. But, he cautiously described each and every one, giving Color breaks when he saw his face twist in confusion.
Eventually, Color managed to walk into the house. He took a close look around at the bleak walls, into the kitchen and down the hall. There were so many new things - but all he cared about right now was sleep.
Before he got fully settled, however, Delta offered both him and Core lunch. He wouldn't be able to cook much (the oven was most likely still broken from the last time he attempted to use it), but he could at least feed them a snack or something.
Color's demeanor suddenly sparked up at the mention of food. And upon seeing the sudden shift in attitude, Delta took it as a yes and immediately headed to the kitchen to make them some sandwiches.
To his surprise, Color followed.
The creaks in the floorboards startled him at first, along with Delta's silent footsteps - why couldn't he hear them? Were they really there?
Delta glanced back, to see Color looking confused and uncomfortable. He was about to ask what was up, when Color softly spoke out and asked why he was so quiet.
Delta was surprised, but apologized and explained that he didn't want to overwhelm him. He made sure to walk a little louder. He could see the distant look behind Color's blank eyes.
But he noticed something else - Beta had pointed it out - that concerned him. Color was fidgeting with his hands, pacing in circles around the kitchen on his small square, keeping his eyes on Delta's hands the entire time.
Color nervously glanced at the food. He barely remembered what it was like to eat something - he didn't remember what the name or ingredients of what Delta was making, but made sure that the other wasn't adding any pills or something strange.
Color still wasn't sure if he was safe. Could Delta be trusted? What if this is a trap? Are they going to poison him? Would Core allow that? What if they're the one who suggested it?
Upon seeing Color work themselves up again into another panic, Delta quietly offered for him to come help, if he wanted. He didn't want to make his roommate uncomfortable, but it was clear neither of them knew quite what to do.
Color was startled out of his thoughts, quickly looking up to Delta as he froze in place again. He could barely think, but after a few minutes of debate, he decided to learn about whatever Delta was doing.
As he cautiously approached, Delta made sure Color could see all the ingredient lists and what he was using, how he was using it and where it belonged in his organized mess of a kitchen.
Color had no idea what to do with any of the items, or what they were. And despite not knowing if Delta would tell the truth or not, he decided to ask.
Delta was visibly surprised by this, but made space for Color on the counter and patiently explained the process of making a sandwich, including all the ingredients. They weren't sure if it would be too much for Color to handle, but tried to help anyways.
Color was quick to learn. When he wanted to taste the items first before he put it on his sandwich, Delta didn't stop him. He made sure to separate his sandwich from Color's for sanitary reasons, though.
As they observed from their seat on the windowsill, Core couldn't help but smile. They knew they had made the right choice to pair these two together in spite of their differences.
After the boys had finished making the sandwiches, Delta let them sit anywhere in the apartment as he gave Core their sandwich.
To their surprise, Color scarfed his sandwich down in mere seconds. Delta was worried he'd choke, but somehow he didn't.
After making sure Color wasn't sick from eating so fast, Delta offered to make him another sandwich. Color frantically agreed.
As Delta got up to make him another sandwich, Color stood and asked if he could do it. He truly meant no offense, but he just didn't trust Delta enough to let him make the food.
Core smiled. And, as to not startle Color, they announced their leave.
The two bid Core their goodbyes, and Core left silently as Delta continued to teach Color how to make a sandwich.
And despite Color's clear distrust and fear, the two had been inseparable ever since.
Of course, their relationship has had its ups and downs over the few months they had known each other.
It was certainly an experience for Delta when he first found Color on the kitchen floor, sleeping peacefully with the lights dimly lit up.
Delta, having thought the poor guy was fully unconscious, immediately tried to wake him up while frantically calling the doctors in charge of Color's care at two in the morning.
Color woke up quickly, startled and hostile, kicking and screaming in shock. Delta had jumped back, but breathed a sigh of relief - and hung up after telling the doctors that Color was alive.
That night turned into a long conversation, which led to them helping Color get situated in his new room with the offer of full control over it. The doctors came by to check on them about 15 minutes later, but once they judged that Color was safe, they left.
Another late night memory that Color happily reminisced on was a comforting reminder that he was no longer alone - Delta had caught him playing chess by himself at 1 am, muttering his moves to himself.
Delta, who was somehow both the lightest and deepest sleeper that Color had ever known (even though they were his only friend), was awoken by mutterings coming from the couch.
And upon investigating, visibly concerned of what he would find, he was relieved to see Color.
Delta had asked what he was doing, making Color flinch at the interruption. But when he explained, Delta, in his half-asleep state, managed to say that he didn't have to play alone anymore because Color had him now.
Against his better judgement, he offered to play with him. Color thought for a moment, but accepted.
They both managed to fall asleep as they played chess, waking up on the couch as the warm beam of sunlight gently awoke them from their peaceful slumber.
And it was definitely fun to remember how he had met Beta for the first time - the day he realized that he wasn't alone in having a human Soul with him.
They had walked in on Delta and a glowing orange outline of a body softly talking early in the morning - it sounded like they were talking about some kind of dream. By the tone, Color could tell the spirit sounded nervous as Delta made him some kind of drink that Color didn't recognize.
When he called out to them, the two flinched and swiveled around - but upon seeing him, relaxed.
Color remembered asking who the figure was.
The two looked startled, glancing at each other, before the spirit turned back to Color with the biggest grin he had ever seen.
Excitedly, the kid introduced himself as Beta, explaining who he was and why. He was thrilled that Color could see him - he thought no one other than Delta could! He was so excited!
Delta tried to calm his kid down, not wanting him to overwhelm Color. But for the first time, Color felt something stirring inside of him as the spirits in his head managed to force him to say hi.
A few who were more powerful were able to make themselves into spirits to say hello. Beta was practically jumping up and down when he saw that.
That was probably his favorite 3 am experience with Delta.
He remembered his first panic attack in the house, when Delta had gone out to buy groceries early before work as to not wake up Color. He remembered frantically calling Delta, in tears when the other picked up.
Within seconds, Delta had managed to steal the cart with the groceries still in it, slap a $50 on the counter for the cashier, and teleport home - where he literally slipped on the floor and dragged the cart down with him on total accident.
Yet still, once they managed to get up somehow unharmed, they left the groceries on the ground so they could run to help Color.
He remembered when an ignorant Monster had decided to challenge Color's flames, mocking his body. He remembered the shame and humiliation - and how it quickly turned to utter shock when he saw Delta clock him in the jaw, breaking it almost instantly and knocking the man out.
Color remembered the way Delta had grabbed his hand, quickly pulling him up from his seat in the Cafe and began to run. They ran all the way back to their apartment practically at the speed of light, and when they got in and locked the door, they took a moment to breathe.
They looked at each other, still in mild shock that that had just happened. But then they immediately burst into laughter, in awe that no one had stopped them or caught them yet.
(They got caught later that week cause the guy who got his ass beat saw Delta visiting Color in the hospital during one of his more frequent checkups. He bitched to Core about it and Delta got a earful from the kid. Color couldn't stop laughing.)
He remembered one of the many times when the sheer emptiness of the walls had trapped his mind into thinking he was back in the VOID - alone, cold, and scared.
Thankfully, Delta was home at the moment. He rushed to help as usual, bringing Color back to reality.
And for the first time, Color began to speak.
He spoke about the VOID. The darkness. The same dull scenery, a memory long forgotten and yet forcefully re-experienced every single day.
That was when Delta decided to paint the walls.
He let Color help, of course. He allowed Color to pick out the paint, while he went to find the paint brushes - they remained in each other's sight the whole time, not daring to stray too far.
Color ended up picking out a blue-teal color, and once they had gotten home, they began to rearrange the furniture momentarily so they could protect the floor and such.
It took about three days to paint, which was a bit longer than either had planned. But in those three days, they had begun to talk, both sharing their respective stories about how they had gotten here.
Delta was much more open about it than Color was. But Color, being intuitive as ever, noticed that Delta never went into specific details - he only managed to say that things happened, and instead preferred to go on about his adventures fighting bad guys in the multiverse.
Color asked, once. Out of curiosity. He had asked why Delta had chosen to do that of all things.
Delta managed a quick response. It was witty, Color gave him that, but based on the guilt and hidden shame in their eyes, he knew it wasn't the full truth.
He asked if something had happened to make him not want to talk about it.
Delta dodged the question by changing the subject.
They didn't bring it up again.
He remembered the first time he had recieved a hug from Delta. It was during a panic attack, where Color was doubting his reality and everyone around him, desperately reaching out for anything to keep ahold of.
Delta could see the despiration in his eyes. The desperation to be loved, seen, wanted, remembered. He saw it. Without much thinking, they held him, drawing him close in one swift movement.
It was magical. Color truly had no idea what he had been missing until he had it - but he wasn't ready to let it go missing again.
He remembered collapsing into Delta's arms, sobbing into his chest as he desperately clung to him while Delta coaxed him down gently.
After about two hours of calming him down, Delta was allowed to make the mistake of attempting to let go. Color refused.
Luckily, Delta learned quickly, and did not attempt to let go until Color was ready. Color stayed attached to his hip for the rest of the day, terrified that if he let go, it would never return.
And during some of their late night talks, sometimes Delta would say that he couldn't remember a time where he didn't know Color. Days all blended together - unless something particularly exciting happened that set it apart from the other days.
Color wished he could say the same.
But in these months, these three fresh months, never had he felt so exhilarated and overwhelmed at the same time.
Every moment with Delta was precious. Delta had even managed to score Color a job at the same place so that he'd feel less alone - and would be able to adjust better.
Delta had always been the stronger one of of the two of them - from how he carried himself, to the way he'd threaten violence at any given second if someone so much as dared to breathe incorrectly in Color's direction. It was clear he was capable of great violence. Especially with how much he bragged about his fights in the past.
Color had never been more grateful to find a friend who was willing to tolerate his codependency. And Delta happily entertained it - they would never dare to admit it, but they were incredibly lonely.
And Color had learned how to carry himself, too - how to carry himself with utmost confidence, ensuring no one would dare to doubt him (except himself). He learned how to get away with most things, lying flawlessly without guilt if it was necessary. He learned that it was okay to ask for help when he needed to, when he wanted to. He learned how to love himself, even if it was just a little bit.
He learned how to interact with his Souls and Beta, and how to accept them as his reality. He learned how to be reckless and how to fight, but to also calculate and plan out moves and escapes when necessary. He learned that although life wasn't kind or safe all of the time, he had the power to make it a little kinder and a little safer - if not for himself, then for others.
He learned that for once, he had power and control over himself and his surroundings. He learned to apologize for mistakes and move on instead of deflecting them, and that it was okay to be angry and process the trauma that had been caused to him.
He had learned so much in these three months with them.
He remembered how he had doubted Delta at first, as he watched silently, analyzing every move and what it meant. Delta carried himself with nothing less than reckless confidence, so much so that no one dared to doubt him - even when he was blatantly wrong about something.
But when Delta showed him the kindness of acceptance, he doubted him a bit less each time. It didn't take too long for Color to feel comfortable enough to trust him with important things - buying and making the food, getting water, keeping them entertained and safe. Such simple things to Delta were the most important things to Color.
Yes, these memories and experiences were the core of their relationship - his favorites by far. But these dreamy memories of his were cut short by a sudden loud clang, triggering a harsh memory of when Delta had awoken to Color screaming after he accidentally hurt himself while making a late night snack.
The blood gushed out of his palm as the knife clattered to the ground, as Color frantically began to hyperventilate at the sight of his own blood.
Delta sprinted out of his room, running straight at Color as he managed to dial for help at the same time. How his hands were so steady as he sprinted at full force, Color still couldn't figure out.
He dragged Color to the bathroom, immediately beginning to hold it above Color's Soul to help stop the bloodflow as Delta got a tourniquet above the wound, on his wrist. He quietly reassured Color that the ambulance was on its way. His hands lit up in a soothing green glow, as they gently held his palm close.
He remembered the pure fear in Delta's eyes as he forcefully woke himself up, trying to hide it as they comforted Color. They whispered kind words of reassurance, holding him close as they let him cry on their shoulder.
He remembered when he was half asleep in the hospital bed, that Delta was sobbing as quietly as he could. Color couldn't hear it - but when he tried to roll his head over to look at Delta, he saw the other keeping their head down, shaking lightly as they breathed deeply, trying to hold it all in.
That was the first, and only, time that he had ever seen Delta get so scared that he cried. And it killed him to know that it was his fault his friend was crying.
In the morning, when Color woke up, Delta had clearly been awake. He wasn't sure if they had slept at all. They did not talk about the tears of last night, rather opting to check in on Color and his wound.
They did not bring it up again. And Color vowed to never make that kind of mistake again.]
Color jolted awake, with a short gasp for air as the loud, shattering clang echoed through the apartment.
His mind raced as he tried to figure out if he was still dreaming or not. He rushed to check his palm, only to see the wound closed up and scarred.
A thud followed.
His heart skipped a beat, as his body began to move without thinking. Within seconds, Color had ran from his bed to the kitchen...
... to find Delta collapsed on the ground, a pile of broken glass surrounding him.
His eyes were blank, a dull shade of the usual bright orange that greeted Color when he woke up. His expression held nothing of its normal composure, as his body slumped towards the ground on his knees.
Color froze, his eyes widening as he felt his Soul drop into his nonexistent stomach.
What the fuck?
What just happened?!
"Delta...?" His voice trembled as he spoke softly. He didn't want to startle the other.
No response.
[Is he sleep walking again? How did this even happen?] Color thought, slowly moving closer. He examined his roommate, checking for any external injuries, but there were none.
So, cautiously, Color reached out to lightly shake Delta's shoulder.
Still, no response.
Color's breathing began to get shaky as his mind raced with terrifying possibilities as to why they could be acting like this. Did something happen? Are they hurt? Were they dying? Did they need to go to the hospital? Was it even really them?
Delta wasn't even blinking. And with his hand now hesitantly resting on their shoulder, Color couldn't feel them breathing, either.
Color flinched when he realized that there was not a single movement from Delta. No flinching, no startle, not even breathing. Nothing.
He shook his roommate a little more aggressively, his breath catching in his throat as he desperately called out for him, "Delta?! Hey, come on, wake up!"
The harder Color shook him, the closer he got to getting Delta to snap out of it, even if it was just a little.
Finally, Color got desperate enough to smack him on the shoulder as hard as he felt comfortable.
As the hit landed, Delta's hand shot up and grabbed Color by the wrist, making the other flinch and gasp lightly in shock.
Delta's empty stare turned to Color, making him shiver.
He spoke softly, calling out to him, "Delta?"
Delta still gave no response. Didn't even blink. But after a minute, he slowly released Color's wrist from his grip. His hand dropped back down, hanging limply at his side.
Color was startled at how motionless it was. There was such little weight to his grip - nothing at all like he was used to. As his voice still shook, he called out again, "Delta?... can you hear me? Are you- can you answer me, please?"
He pleaded.
Luckily, he got a blink this time.
Color felt a bit relieved, at least knowing that Delta was awake now. But still, he awaited some kind of response, anything at all.
Their blank, empty stare was unnerving. There was absolutely nothing behind their eyes - just like the rest of their expression.
They tried to speak. Nothing came out.
Color's eyes widened in horror. "Delta?! Hey, hey, what's wrong? Is- is something wrong? Are you hurt? Why can't you speak? Did you-"
"I'm fine." An empty, desolate voice muttered in response.
Color flinched back, ripping his hand off of Delta's shoulder.
No. This wasn't him. This- this can't be him, right? It barely even sounds like him!
No, it can't possibly be. His eyes are too dull, voice too bleak. He wasn't even wearing his usual clothes, Color noticed. He was wearing a tank top, no gauntlets on, and black shorts and socks.
He had seen Delta sleep in those clothes before, but now it just looked wrong. Like it wasn't really them.
Was he having another nightmare?
Was this real?
There's no way this was Delta. There's just no way! There was no spark, no energy, no emotion, nothing! It was honestly creeping him out.
Seeing his brightest - and only - friend so lifeless just... wasn't right.
The Souls inside his head spoke softly, discussing what they should do to snap Delta out of it, if there was even anything they could do about it. Color listened to the options, but they all eventually agreed to try to talk to Beta first - see if he knew what was going on.
"Beta? Kiddo, you there?" Color called out, eyeing the time. It was around 3 in the morning. Surely the kid would be asleep, but maybe he could wake him up.
No response. But upon hearing his name get called out, Delta's eyes seemed to glaze over even more as their orange color slowly drained into white.
His eyes went wide as he helplessly watched all the color dissappear from their eyes.
"... okay. So that didn't work. Let's just... take him out of the glass." Color muttered to himself, slowly moving closer to Delta again.
Cautiously stopping outside of the ring of glass, Color reached down and grabbed Delta by the arms. Then, he slowly pulled him up, and dragged him out of the glass. He managed to lift them high enough to get him safely out of the ring.
Delta's body practically collapsed into Color, startling the other entirely. His whole body was just limp in Color's arms.
What was going on with them?
After adjusting the other, Color picked him up fully, and carried him over to the couch.
He gently lowered Delta onto the couch, having him lay down on his side in case anything happened. He sat on the ground in front of them.
There was a long moment of silence, before Delta spoke again.
"Are you here?" They murmured, staring emptily at the wall.
Color was surprised, but quickly nodded, "Yeah, I'm here, Del. I'm right here. Can you talk? What's going on?"
Delta tried to speak again, but nothing came out. So, slowly, they forced their arms to move up and began to sign.
'I'm sorry.'
Color was taken aback.
"... sorry for what?" He asked softly, moving a bit closer.
'I messed up. I failed.'
"What do you mean?"
'I hurt them. I couldn't save them.'
"Who couldn't you save?"
'You know.'
Color paused. Who was Delta talking about? Did they even know it was him?
"Do you know it's me, Delta?"
Delta paused for a moment. In truth, they really didn't know. But they felt the Bravery Soul nearby, and assumed it was Beta. 'Yes.'
Color breathed a sigh of relief. "Alright. But, who are you talking about?"
'Frisk.'
Color froze.
"... what do you mean? How did you fail them?" He murmured, looking over Delta's body language. But there was nothing to look at.
'They died. You know that. Don't make me say it, please.'
"Did you... have a dream about them?" Color asked, desperately trying to figure out what was going on. Why this sudden memory? And why now, of all times?
'Yeah. Was hurt again.'
"I'm sorry to hear that."
'Nothing we can do about it.'
"Do you... wanna talk about it?"
'I failed them. I couldn't save them. I killed them. It's all my fault.'
There was a long pause in their conversation. Hesitantly, Color asked, "... is something else bothering you?"
'I can't do it anymore.'
Color froze, his eyes slowly widening in terror as his Soul skipped a beat. "Wh-what do you mean by that?"
'He's hurting and I can't make it better. I'm failing him.'
The air around them held still as Color silently stared into Delta's dull eyes.
"... what?" He shakily reached to cover his mouth, absolutely horrified.
'I wanna help him so bad. But there's nothing I can do. I can't do anything right.'
"Hold on-"
'He hurts cause I can't make it any better. It's all my fault. I don't wanna fail him like the others, but I guess I'm not much good at protecting, either.'
"Delta."
'What do I have if I can't help him? Nothing. Got nothing. He got taken here so someone could help, and I can't even do that right.'
"Delta!" Color desperately tried to shake him awake, as tears pricked his eyes. What was going on? Did they really feel this way?
'It's all my fault. He's hurting and it's all my fault. Maybe they should put him with someone better. He deserves better than me.'
"Delta, listen to me-"
'First I hurt Frisk, and then Paps, and now I hurt him. Why can't I do anything right? Why can't I do what I'm supposed to? I wanna help but I keep hurting people. I'm so stupid.'
"Hey!-"
'I'm worthless if I can't help him. I have no use. They only like me when I can be useful, and I can't even do that right now. I'm such a burden. What is wrong with me?-'
"STOP!"
Delta stopped, as Color's chest heaved, breathing shakily as tears dripped down his skull.
It killed him to see how much pain Delta was in. He was heartbroken. Why hadn't they told him about this? Did they really feel like this all the time? No wonder they were so stressed out, the poor guy!
But seeing the still blank look in their eyes, Color knew he had to help.
He took a deep breath, wiping his eyes as he restrained his sobs. He couldn't cry. Not now. Not while his best friend needed him.
Once Color had calmed down quite a bit, he gently cupped Delta's face, holding it in his warm hands.
As small tears still leaked from Color's eyes, he spoke, voice trembling, "Delta, I need you to listen to me, please." He pleaded softly.
Delta nodded, 'Okay.'
Color took a deep breath as he spoke, "Delta, I don't know why you think these things or if anyone made you think them, but you are not a failure. You are not a burden, not to me or anyone else.
I don't know much about you. What you've been through, what you're going through, I don't know. You've done a really good job at hiding that. You let me know what you want me to know. I can't blame you for that - I do that, too.
But I don't want you suffering in silence. I may not be the best with emotions, and I might not be the best guy to hang around sometimes, but I care about you.
I'm sorry if I ever made you feel this way. But listen to me now - I don't think that you're a failure. I don't think you're a burden, or at fault for any of the things you've been through. Okay?"
Slowly, the color began to return to Delta's eyes. But still, he signed, 'I'm sorry. I'm weak.'
"No, you're not." Color insisted sternly, gently stroking the side of Delta's skull with his thumb, "You're not weak. You're not any of the horrible things you claim you are.
You're not weak. You're not a burden. You're certainly not a failure. And you're most definetly not stupid."
There was another pause, as Color calmed himself. And gently, still cupping Delta's face with his right hand, he trailed the other to Delta's hand, which had slowly dropped back down when they had finished speaking.
Delta managed to speak. "Why?" They whispered.
Color's eyes saddened. "Well, if you really don't know... then let me tell you.
Listen, I know we've only known each other for a couple months, but... you've helped me more than anyone else ever has. You've put up with me when no one else wanted to - when even I didn't want to. But you stuck by my side, didn't leave me alone, even when I annoyed you.
You protected me. Remember when that guy at the Cafe harassed me? You punched the shit out of him and then brought me home. You didn't let him hurt me, even though you didn't know anything about me at that point.
And the nightmares? You stayed with me. You woke me up when we stayed together in your room, even let me sleep in your bed while you slept on the floor when I was too scared to be touched. And even when I woke you up screaming, you held me, calmed me down. And you never got mad! You never yelled at me, even when you had work in the morning.
And at work, whenever I was able to show up, you always protected me, made excuses for me when I couldn't show up. You always kept me safe, even when you weren't around. They knew they couldn't hurt me because you'd hurt them back, even if you got in trouble for it.
You've helped me more than you even know. You taught me how to live again - literally! I didn't even know how to eat when I first got here, but you were patient enough to teach me how to use the utensils. You even helped me wash up when I physically couldn't do it myself.
You always got me to my doctor appointments, even leaving work early to drive me there. You put up with me even when I didn't want to go, and when I exploded because I was so scared of them. And you always made sure to call the doctors when I needed help and couldn't call anyone for myself, even when I got mad at you for it.
Even when I was tired and depressed, you took care of me. You made sure I ate and bathed at the very least, even if you couldn't drag me out of the house. You did everything that you could to help me, and succeeded. No one had ever done that for me before. You were the first.
You stuck by my side, even when I got sick and got you sick in return. I didn't mean to, I still feel kinda bad about it. But you never made me feel like a burden, or like it was a mistake that you got paired with me. You've always been so good to me.
You never made me feel like an asshole, even when I acted like it. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like this, but... you've saved me more times than I can even count.
Like that time when I was too paranoid to let anyone in the house, including you. You were patient with me and talked me down from the other side, even though I was having a panic attack because I was alone. You stayed with me until I was calm enough to use logic and let you in. And even still, you weren't mad at me! I honestly don't know how you put up with me sometimes.
And remember when I cut myself on accident that one night? You woke up and were literally at my side in seconds. And you called for help while calming me down, trying to keep me from passing out. You certainly weren't useless then, so why would you be now?
I know we didn't talk about it again after that night, but... I saw you crying when I woke up. I didn't even notice it at first - you were so quiet about it. But I saw it. And I'm sorry that I didn't say this before, but you're not weak for crying.
I'm not... even sure if that's what you're thinking right now. But in case you are, I really don't think you're weak for crying.
You never made me feel weak for crying. So why make yourself feel that way? You don't deserve that hate, even if it's coming from yourself.
I know I don't say it a lot, but I really care about you. Even when I'm scared or angry or overwhelmed with the world, you're the only good part of it. You've practically kept me sane! You've helped me in more ways than I can even count. And I certainly wouldn't call that failure, now, would I?" He smiled.
The longer Color spoke for, the more the orange spark return to Delta's eyes. And by the time he finished, Delta had come back into reality fully - having no clue what was going on or why, but appreciated being woken up from whatever had happened with fond memories and kind words.
Color smiled softly at them. "Hey, buddy. Glad you're back."
Delta nodded, propping himself up with the arm that Color wasn't holding. However, he gladly let Color's hand stay on his face, and lightly nuzzled into it, still confused, "Uh, hey... what happened? How'd I get here?" He asked softly, glancing around.
"I honestly have no idea. I heard glass breaking and saw you in the kitchen, but you weren't answering me - totally out of it. So I got you away from the glass and brought you over here. You didn't look hurt, but... you started talking, and-"
"Wait, wait, lemme stop you there. What do you mean I was in the kitchen?" Delta asked, his eyes going slightly wide as he realized that there was no lying out of this situation. He was going to have to tell Color about the episodes.
He sat up fully, making Color back up a bit and take his hand off of Delta's face. However, when he tried to let go of Delta's hand, he instead tightened his grip slightly - he didn't want to let go yet.
Color gladly obliged.
"Well, I got woken up by the glass, and saw you in the kitchen. You were on the ground and the glass was all around you. Don't know how you got there, though - your guess is as good as mine." He answered.
Delta nodded along, turning to look back into the kitchen. And sure enough, the ring of glass was still there, not yet cleaned up.
"... huh. That's really weird." They muttered.
Color couldn't help but snicker at that.  "You're telling me, man." He replied.
Delta turned back, his brain still processing all of this, "You said I woke you up? Shit, I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to."
"Hey, no, don't worry about it. Whatever happened, didn't look like you had much control over." Color replied, smiling reassuringly. "Do you remember anything?"
"Uhh, sorta. I remember I was laying in bed, then-" a look of realization dawned on their face. "... oh."
Color tilted his head. "What?"
"... um. Okay. I got something to explain." They muttered, sighing.
Color was even more confused. He motioned for Delta to go on, and he did. "So, I had a nightmare last night. And, sometimes, when I have nightmares, I tend to... dissociate."
"Dissociate?" Color repeated. The hell did that mean? Delta hadn't taught him that word yet.
"Yeah. Um, I lose grip on reality, I'd have no clue what's going on whatsoever. That brings me to a question, though. Did I say anything weird?" Delta looked nervous even asking it.
Color thought for a moment. Would he classify those things as 'weird'? I mean, they were definetly abnormal, so maybe that's what they mean.
He nodded. "I mean, for you, kinda. I've never heard you speak that way before."
Their Soul sunk. Oh fuck. What did they say?
"Oh, that's great." He muttered sarcastically.
Unfortunately, Color didn't quite understand sarcasm yet. He quickly replied, "Not really. It was kinda scary - you started going on about a lot of things, things I didn't even know you were thinking about. Do you want me to repeat it?-"
"No."
The sudden venom in their voice was startling enough to make Color stop. He quietly examined his friend. Had he said something wrong? Were they angry at him for talking too much? Why were they upset?
But when he looked at them, instead of anger, Color saw hurt. Their face was twisted in a deep sadness, clearly having not expected things to go down like this.
They didn't talk for a good few minutes, until Delta spoke up first.
"You weren't meant to know." He muttered, staring at the ground in shame.
Color tried to say something, but Delta continued on, "I didn't tell you because I didn't want to be weak. Not when you needed someone to help you. It'd be unfair of me to burden you after you just got out of basically solitary confinement for 20 years of your life.
And after everything I've seen you go through, fuck, you've been hurting so much. And it's not your fault at all - I ain't saying that I'm uncomfortable around you or anything like that, just... didn't think I'd need to tell you so soon. I'm sorry."
Color stared up at him for a long moment, before asking, "Do you think I'm weak for needing help, Delta?"
Delta tensed, instinctively looking up with pure worry in his eyes, "What?! No, not at all!"
But before he could say anything else, Color replied in an even tone, "Then why do you think that you're weak for needing help?"
Silence.
Delta stared at him, his eyes wide as he tried to figure out if Color was joking or not - if they had said something to upset him. But when they saw the empathy in his eyes, they realized what it really meant.
"... I guess I didn't... really think of it that way." They sheepishly admitted, glancing away from him.
Color couldn't help but smile, as he moved closer. He sat on the couch, and Delta gladly made room for him. Instinctively, like Delta had done many times for him, Color slinked an arm around his shoulder and held him close.
Delta tensed at first, but eventually relaxed into Color's arms.
"That's alright. I'm not mad, obviously. Can't really get upset at you for hiding things when I haven't exactly been the most vulnerable," Color said, making them both chuckle lightly.
"But, still. If you have these problems, I wanna help. It's not fair if you only help me and I don't help you back. So let me help. Okay?" Color asked softly, smiling at him.
Delta was surprised. He wasn't used to being able to let his guard down - he never knew when it was safe to relax without worrying about someone catching him and picking a fight when he was vulnerable.
Vulnerability was not a concept he was comfortable with yet.
But as he looked deep into Color's eyes, he knew that he was safe - he didn't know why, but... something inside him was telling him that he was safe to let his guard down.
He relaxed, nodding slowly as a smile crept up on his face.  "Okay."
"You promise?"
"I promise."
"Alright. You, uh, wanna talk about it?" Color offered, still concerned.
Delta thought for a moment, but shook his head. He really didn't. He didn't want to think about it anymore.
Color nodded, "That's okay. I definetly can't blame you for that. But, if you do, let me know - I'm here to listen, alright?" He asked, gently rubbing Delta's shoulder.
Delta nodded. "I will. Thank you."
"It's no problem. Think you can go back to sleep, or do you wanna stay up? We can watch a movie, or play a game - go on a walk, if you want." Color offered, knowing that Delta would probably need different options if he wanted a distraction.
Delta thought for a long moment, quietly speaking to Beta about what to do. They settled on a movie.
"I don't think I'm ready to go back to sleep. Could we watch something?" They asked quietly.
Color nodded, "That's fine. Need anything to drink, eat?"
They shook their head, "No, I'm alright. You can get something if you want to, though."
Color paused to think. But after all of this, he decided to just get up and grab Delta some water anyways. "I'm gonna get some water. Wanna come with?"
Delta debated it for a moment, but decided to get up with him. And the two quickly stood, and walked over to the kitchen.
"Watch the glass," Color reminded him, as he used his magic to get two mugs down for them.
Delta was distracted, however, and was now focused on getting something Beta was demanding - hot chocolate.
It was always the kid's favorite drink of choice after a bad nightmare. And after a night like this, they deserved it.
Color only seemed to notice when he heard the microwave start humming. He quickly turned around, to see Delta ready with a hot chocolate packet and extra marshmallows ready.
They both just stared at each other for a moment.
"... want one?" Delta offered. Color nodded, and went over to get started on his.
It took only a few minutes to prepare it, but Color was still confused. However, he wasn't sure if it'd be okay to ask.
Delta, intuitive as ever, knew he was confused. They answered before he asked, "Tradition for Beta and I. After a bad night, we get hot chocolate."
Color nodded, smiling lightly, "Awe, that's sweet."
The two finished their hot chocolates, and quickly headed back over to the couch. They placed their mugs on the table in front of them, getting out blankets and pillows so the couch would be more comfortable.
Once they had finished setting up, Color handed Delta the remote. "You pick."
Delta nodded, thanking him. But, to Color's surprise, he immediately started looking for The Lion King.
Color quickly turned to them, making Delta chuckle lightly, a bit embarrassed. "Tradition."
He chuckled, nodding back as Delta clicked 'play'. Color slung his arm around them again, holding them close as they drank their hot chocolates and watched the movie.
After a little bit, Delta found themselves getting lulled back to sleep as their body slowly relaxed. They tried to resist, not wanting to have another nightmare, but Color gently coaxed him into it.
The rest of the night was peaceful, as Delta fell asleep in Color's arms, holding them close - keeping them safe.
53 notes · View notes