#sorry I just saw some rancid takes

[nolongeronlyhereforthewhispangle]

*taps mic* Is this thing on- okay-

My partner is omnisexual. I am a heterosexual.

Does this make them any less valid of an omnisexual? Absolutely not.

Just because we’re not able to be distinguished as a “queer relationship” at first glance doesn’t mean she’s any less queer, okay?

Mkay.

[peak-dumbass]

I know I just got done with ranting about tfp/rid2015 starscream’s character but, if you couldn’t tell by my other rid2015 posts, I’m obsessed with rid2015 bumblebee and when I tell you I love this scene of bumblebee making fun of starscream I’m not exaggerating it’s so cathartic to me

“But bumblebee is a good/hero character, why is he being so mean—” did you forget how much starscream hurt bumblebee in tfp?

He killed cliffjumper who, while probably not as close to bee as he was to arcee, was still close friends with bee

He stole the omega keys from the autobots’ base and handed them over to megatron, practically dooming Cybertron at the time to be remade in megatron’s image — of course the autobots get them back last minute, but that doesn’t change how much that loss effected all of them (evidence: optimus shouting in anger for the first and to my memory only time in the series) — including bumblebee

And his greatest offense towards bumblebee in my opinion—

DESTROYING BUMBLEBEE’S T-COG

“But it was silas and M.E.C.H. that took it in the first place—” HE DIDN’T NEED TO HELP SILAS USE IT AFTERWARDS “but Ratchet was able to fix it—” THAT DOESN’T GET RID OF THE TRAUMA THAT WHOLE EXPERIENCE CAUSED HIM

It’s also incredibly fucked once you think about it more because the t-cog is literally a cybertronian organ — while silas is at least mostly detached from how screwed this is since it’s more like taking parts from a robot than surgery to humans, starscream shouldn’t be since he’s also a cybertronian

Instead of being freaked out and recognizing how messed up silas’ actions are like any rational bot would, he helps silas make his fake-bot-that’s-using-another-bot’s-stolen-organ work by providing him with energon (the [at the time] incredibly scarce resource that helps all bots survive) and — after that plan falls through because of bumblebee finding them — he destroys the bot’s organ for no reason other than he wanted to escape and thought that was a good way to distract him

I just—I’m sorry?? I feel like bumblebee is incredibly justified for clowning on this cringefailure of a bot for what he’s done to him

And this isn’t even mentioning what he’s done against the autobots as a whole (both on and off screen) that has probably hurt bumblebee by proxy

I feel like it’d be justified if bee also killed starscream — he already got to kill the bot that destroyed his voice box, I think bee deserves another murder as a treat <3

/joking but also what if—*gets shot by tfp/rid2015 starscream fans*

[bucknastysbabe]

I just read all your hotd posts and let me tell you I am OBSESSED!

Wanted to ask if you could potentially write something for cockwarming with Jace please? Maybe not as an modern au but with actual prince Jahaerys Valeryon?

If not that’s totally fine but I would go CRAZY if you would! Absolutely love your work

YES I CAN- I LOVE SOME CUNTY JACAERYS HES PERFEXT AND HUNG. Sorry for the wait hope you like❤️❤️❤️❤️

Dreary - Jace Velaryon x Bar Emmon!Reader

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Fluffy fluff, sweet baby boy jace, who has a horse cock, set around 2x02, intimacy hehe, cock warming, Baela is a bad bitch she ALLOWS jace to have his little swordfish gf, rip luke ily baby, anyways pnv!sex, some angst, PREP, also I just know the vibes at dragonstone are rancid I would be pissed

Taglist: @aemondfairy @aemonds-holy-milk @arcielee @elaratyrell @jamespotterismydaddy @lovelykhaleesiii @peachysunrize @starogeorgina @towriteloveontheirarms @zaldritzosrose @simp-aholic @jacevelaryonswife (I just added you bc jace wife)

It was a dreary day on Dragonstone. Which was more often than not. Chilly, fierce winds blowing across the Gullet into the Blackwater. You knew how harsh these winds and storms could be, being born Bar Emmon of Sharp Point.

Something was stagnant around the ancient keep of Dragonstone. Perhaps it was the war beginning to ramp up, the continued grief of Prince Lucerys’ death. Going outdoors was a luxury on the volcanic island, anything to escape the mounting emotions within.

Baela was deep within the keep with Queen Rhaenyra. You were a lady-in-waiting of Princess Baela, but she oft preferred her independence or family. The Targaryen dismissed you to ‘find some rest’.

Walking aimlessly around the fused Valyrian stone, hand dragging upon the cold wall, you entered the library. The smell of books and the usual brimstone filled your nose. Haggard gargoyles and wyverns decorated the walls. A small fire crackled in the fireplace, that in the shape of a dragon’s maw. You’d be lying if you said this place wasn’t strange.

Peering among the old tomes and stacked scrolls, you noticed a familiar tousled head sitting in front of the fire. The Prince Jacaerys, the betrothed of Baela. Even if they seemed better friends than to be married as of late. Baela confessed to you late at night that she didn’t want to fall for him during a time of war.

You’d taken to the Prince meanwhile. Guilt didn’t pool in your gut when the Princess didn’t seem to care. Baela knew about your trysts and caught you kissing him in an alcove. Your lips quirked up at the memory— the gorgeous Princess merely laughed, “I was wondering if you had it in you, Jace.”

Coming close to him, you paused. Jace had been struggling as of late. He was brooding and ridden with grief over Luke. You nervously fingered at your dark blue dress, debating if you should leave him be. He was taking on more of a role in the escalating war.

“My Prince,” came your softened call.

He straightened up, turning to face you over a shoulder. Jace hummed, “Lady Bar Emmon. Are you finding yourself stifled again?” He turned further to get a look at you, brown eyes softening. He looked handsome in his black tunic, fine red dragons woven upon the sleeves.

“Quite stifling today. Winter is coming.”

He laughed softly at that, beckoning you over.

You padded to the chair adjacent, Jacaerys familiar arms pulling you back into his lap. You bit back a yelp, looking at him in shock. His full lips curled up a bit as he murmured, “Winter is coming. I saw it firsthand at the Wall. The Stark in the North himself told me all about it.”

You adjusted to curl more to the side, gently petting his curls, careful not to pull. “That sounds…frightful actually,” came your admittance. Jace looked amused as he replied, “Lord Cregan, I liked him, but he was intense. I do prefer the South, Vermax does. He’s likely all snug in his nest.”

The Dragonmont. You wouldn’t mind a warm nest for a minute. Albeit not at Dragon levels.

You laughed softly, “What about the Eyrie? I suppose it was nicer flying up the Mountains of the Moon. I’ve heard it’s the most beautiful of the Castles.”

Jace’s dark eyes sparkled a little as he teased, “Not as beautiful as Sharp Point my lady.”

You batted his shoulder with a scoff and a frown, “Very funny, a big watch tower and old fortifications. Tell me about the Eyrie!”

He chuckled softly, a hand coming up to cradle your neck, his other arm securing your waist. Jacaerys hummed, “Very well, the home of Lady Jeyne was magnificent. All white marble with blue veins. Seven slim towers, no stables, no smithy’s, but a large granary. You can hear Alyssa’s tears, it’s very soothing.”

You looked on in awe as you imagined the painting come to life with his words. Jace continued as he nuzzled your neck, “Mm- just as gorgeous and crisp on the inside, I slept quite well, and got to see the infamous moon door and sky cells. Very Andal castle, don’t know how they did it.”

You gripped his hair as his plush lips began to press against your neck. “Did Vermax like it?” You asked in a shaky voice. He laughed against your sensitive skin, “Of course, scaring the tribes and eating their goats.” Jacaerys pressed one more kiss before pulling back, his ringed hand cupping your cheek.

“I’m sorry I’ve been…distanced,” he murmured, those damn dark eyes and long lashes piercing your heart. Shushing the Prince you shook your head, firmly stating, “You have been grieving. We all grieve, especially for you and your family. For him.”

You didn’t want to speak his name out loud, the lingering implication made sweet Jace blink and look away. Thumbing away his stray tear you murmured, “I wish I could take that pain from you.” He looked back, croaking as his arms engulfed you.

“I missed you so much.”

You sighed the words back, realigning your hips to face his, straddling the prince. Cupping his cheek once again you closed into his mouth, gentle at first. It felt like years while he was gone. Jacaerys grabbed your hips, pulling you flush as he kissed back, full lips soft and careful.

His length throbbed against your thigh as the kisses deepened, Jace’s hands wandering from your ass to your waist, greedily grabbing any flesh. You moaned into his mouth, Jace filling the space with his tongue, sliding it against your own. The brunette moaned, “Gods I missed you. More than just this.”

You pressed your forehead to him, panting, “I missed you too, love. More than this, as much as I enjoy it too.”

He laughed, nibbling at the hollow of your throat, hands sliding up your skirts to reveal your stockings and bare cunt. Jacaerys groaned again, his cock twitching. He mumbled, “Need to get you ready for me again angel.” You nodded, weakly nodding.

Jacaerys’ cock could easily make you bleed everywhere, especially after months apart. He resumed his attention to your neck, thick fingers sliding down to drift across your slick folds and opening. He teased at your clit, drawing a gasp.

You grabbed his hair and pulled him back, kissing him hard as one finger slid into your cunt, pumping just so before quickly adding another. Jace breathed against your twitching lips, “You’re eager.” He had that cocky lopsided smile, eyes hazy.

He pumped his fingers deeper, curling them as you gasped, “I- ah! Could say the same.” You felt his cock straining his breeches, rubbing against heated flesh. Jace moaned again, fingers stretching and scissoring, adding his third finger.

You mewled a little at the pinch, tucking your face into his warm neck. The prince cooed and drug the heel of his palm against your clit, the other hand rubbing your trembling back in slow circles. His voice was a near whisper as he praised, “You’re alright my love, you’re doing so good, gonna feel so good.”

His pinky slipped in your slippery, stretched cunt now, keeping you open as he eased the four digits in and out as you whimpered, Jacaerys kissing your lips and cheeks, shushing you. He adjusted and curled upwards again, dragging roughly against your sweet spot.

You cried out in the library, Jace using his off hand to pull down your dress, suckling and nibbling at your tits as he spread you impossibly open. He sealed his mouth over your nipple, flicking his tongue, playfully humming.

The discomfort was edging into pleasure quickly as Jacaerys worked your body. Your whimpering had turned to panting, then whining in ecstasy as he stuffed you with his sinful fingers, those pretty swollen lips around your tit. You couldn’t help but shiver and grab his hair, muscles tensing up as you moaned his name.

He groaned, kissing his way across the valley of your tits to latch onto the other, his ever-wandering hand giving your now neglected teat a playful squeeze. His fingers were only moving quicker as your cunt practically drooled all over his hand, the lurid squelching loud. You blushed at the sound, heaving and shivering once more.

He swiped your clit one good time, sending you over the edge with a muffled cry, gushing and spasming from head to toe. He pulled off your nipple to watch in awe, murmuring, “My pretty girl.”

You shook through the remnants of the orgasm, cunt twitchy and sensitive even after Jacaerys eased his fingers out. He was undoing his breeches now, moaning under his breath as you watched him pull out his flushed cock, slathering his wet fingers all over the organ.

The sight drew out a low mewl. Jace’s pretty cock was a sight to be seen. He was blessed by the Father, to say the least. Abnormally large yet otherworldly. Dragon cock or whatever they called it in jest.

You lifted your tired hips, the brunette whimpering a little as he slicked himself up further against you, gasping as he swirled the blunt head around your entrance. Jace moaned, “F-fuck, okay, okay, ready my love?”

You nodded, eyes on his as you began to sink, mouth falling open as the oversensitivity and fullness struck. Jace’s thumbs were on your hips, swirling little circles as you descended. The pair of you gasped and panted wetly into each other’s mouths, eyes watery and intense.

Your ass met his lap, a tremble up your spine from the fullness. Jace pulled you against him, stretching his legs out as he pressed kisses to your jaw and neck. His hands rubbed your back, lulling you into relaxing. Taking a deep breath, you settled atop Jace, your cunt pleasantly full and stretched, throbbing a bit.

“Can we perhaps, sit like this for a bit?” You asked him, holding his cheek. Jace seemed more than fine, running his hands lazily across your back still, petting at your hair. He hummed, “Mhm, yes, that’ll be perfect.”

So the pair of you sat in relative ease, humming and lazing by fire. There wasn’t much of a need to speak, more of a time for comfort and intimacy. Jace rambled a little about how much he cared for you, getting shushed again. He smiled at you, rolling his eyes.

The feeling of your lover’s molten cock was beginning to make you sweat. Jacaerys fared no better, shifting restlessly, hands sliding up to grab your ass. He moaned as you clenched involuntarily, needing more. The brunette whispered, “You want it now love? I want you now.”

Indulging the prince you nodded, moaning, “Yes my prince, it’s time, ngh- gods.”

His head fell back as his hands gripped your waist, thrusting up for the first time. Jace’s moan echoed as he pulled back to fuck up into you again. You gasped and whined as he seemed to stuff your cunt further, hips slapping against your ass.

Jacaerys planted his feet, breathing hard as he began to fuck in earnest, mouth hanging open, lips puffy. You felt him eyeing you, your tits bouncing, your stomach baring the vague outline of his cock deep, deep inside. He grunted and held you tighter, losing himself in your slick core.

He inhaled sharply, stuttering his hips, babbling, “Fuck- you feel- so tight my love.” You were at his mercy, reduced to little whines and tears, he was rubbing everything, the friction rising. You clenched further and further as he forced his cock into you, grunting and groaning. Jace’s heavy balls slapped your ass, just another sound in the cacophony of sex.

You shivered and came first, having to pull yourself off, sharply crying. Jace’s cock was hot against your backside, whining some as he pumped a heavy load on your back and ass. You fell against him again, legs shaky and aching from the splendid pain. He panted, holding you tight.

Jace kissed the crown of your head, the comfortable, loving silence between you two and the crackling fire filling the library again. You’d wash up once you figured you could walk again. Damn, Prince.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Hi Derin! Sorry if this has been asked before, but I'm amazed by the vast array of cultures and gender norms in TTO:U. How did you come up with all of it?

I just thought "hey wouldn't it be funny if there was a little guy" and then made them, and thought "hey what norms would exist in a culture under these conditions" and then made those.

In all seriousness, most of my worldbuilding comes down to tearing down assumptions. Brennans exist because I fucking hate gender and I'm sick of seeing the gender binary or "gender binary Plus Nonbinary Extra People (who still live in a world that assumes a gender binary)" as some immutable natural law that all societies will forever cling to, and I wanted to make a society that was harder for readers to inevitably sort into a binary as they always, always fucking do. (Partial success; I have seen some absolutely rancid takes on the TTOU gender ternary that make me want to break my computer.) The array of different cultural family structures exist because those are different ways that societies can be built on smaller units. The Arboreae and the two space elevators and the Khemin exist because that is a potential response to a critical climate crisis.

On top of that, most of my ideas are stolen. I once read a short story about people who lived under the ocean on an alien planet and spent most of their time just cruising around the ocean in big bubble-like biological submersibles and that was their job, because their submersibles cleaned the water by feeding on things in it; they were employed to be part of the ecosystem. The Khemin, wandering about the ocean as both environmental monitors and trash-gatherers, were inspired by this; from there, I just thought on what sort of family structure and traditions such a group would develop for a stable society. When I was a teeny tiny child I saw a guy on Ripley's Believe It Or Not who was trying to build a self-sustaining floating island to sail around the world on. Absolute disaster of a plan, man knew shit about ecology or farming, but a bit later on I got really into swamps for awhile and started thinking of using plant roots as water filtration systems and, with an eventual biotechnology degree, multiple years hyperfixating on ecology and evolution, and touch of Magic Future Genetic Engineering, that eventually became the Arboreae. The social structure of Hylara is somewhat inspired by CJ Cherryh's azi, particularly the way that Florian and Catlan are raised in Cyteen. The Hylarans are very much not azi (the azi being slaves brainwashed from birth via hypnosis) but the way they are raised fed into building a society batch-raised by robots and each other with no natural family unit. You can just steal concepts from the real world or from scifi and build them into your own thing it's fine.

Anthropologically speaking, the golden feature of any social structure or cultural practice is *stability*. This is the one feature upon which everything is judged. Just or unjust, productive or unproductive, authoritarian or free, structured or unstructured, when developing a society your key thing to worry about is "is this stable? Would a society survive for multiple generations on this norm?" and if your Weird Idea isn't stable, either ditch it or -- far more interesting -- adjust it and your parameters until it is. Different norms will be stable in different environments and built on different histories -- Khemin and Hylaran norms are not interchangeable because of the environments, tech, political climate and reproductive methods the two cultures have. But if it's stable, you can throw in whatever weird shit you want.

[starrypen]

hello! i hope you're having a nice day 💕

also, i just fell in love w the way you write, and was wondering if i can request for an specific scenario!! you and jake are friends and have feelings for each other but no one confesses until you end up hooking up at a party 🤨 i thought abt this the whole day but i just know you're gonna write it better! please, and thank you 💗

⋇⊶⊰ BOUND TO HAPPEN ⊱⊷⋇

pairing: crush!jake x fem!reader

genre: smut

summary: a dull college party brings you and your crush closer than ever before. if you cum, you agree to be his girlfriend.

warnings: mentions of alcohol, pet names, oral (receiving), squirt, dom!jake, 2.3k words

a/n: thank u so much for your compliments and for your request <3 i don’t really go to parties so i’m not sure it’s tooooo realistic/accurate, im sorry!!

“i think i just saw jake and his friends walk up your driveway,” you frantically patted at your friends’ arms, waiting, rather impatiently, for one of them to admit that they invited him without telling you.

“it’s cool, y/n, i invited jay and you know that they can’t be separated,” raya’s hand found yours as she spoke. she gave it a tight squeeze before dropping it as three boys walked straight into her kitchen.

“hey, where’s the party at?” one of jay’s friends asked, placing a crate of beer onto the counter. “where is everyone?”

“i said 10,” raya replied, “but who actually arrives at 10?”

“true,” jay responded, continuing the conversation by asking about who he was expecting to see here.

you couldn’t make out any names, all your focus was on the boy to his right. jake. he gave you a friendly smile and a slight wave, one that beckoned you over to him. you grabbed a bottle of beer from the kitchen counter on your way over to him and extended it towards him. he took it with a “thank you,” before grabbing his keys from his jacket pocket and opening the cap. “how have you been? i haven’t seen you in so long,” he joked, knowing you’d shared a lecture together that morning.

“ugh so stressed, there’s this one guy in my class, he’s so annoying!” you snarked back, “jake, i think his name is.”

“nah, i heard he’s super smart and hot, a distraction if anything,” he took a swing of his beer. you mimicked, taking a sip of your drink too. “fuck, what is this shit, tastes rancid!” he pulls it away from his face to read the label, “0%, who brought alcohol free beer to a party?” his eyes landed on the friend of jay’s that had come in shouting, he clicked his tongue and muttered something under his breath. “i genuinely have no idea who that guy is, and i don’t think jay does either,” he laughed, whispering closely into your ear. your hand gripped his arm naturally as he spoke, you were barely able to concentrate on what he said, knowing he was so close to you right now.

“you seriously don’t know him?” you snapped your head around to get another look at the guy, “shouldn’t we like, tell him to leave?”

“nah, no point, looks like he’s already found someone to defend him,” he points over towards the guy again, whose tongue is down raya’s throat.

it’s midnight. the downstairs of raya’s house is full of people, mostly students from your college but some you don’t even recognise. over the last two hours, you realised that the guy who came in with jay and jake was actually the dj that raya had been sleeping with for the past month. he was loud and obnoxiously extroverted, and worst of all, pretty bad at djing.

a hand on the small of your back took you away from the conversation you were having with some people you knew from campus. “we’re playing truth or dare,” jay explained, guiding you to the kitchen, where, thankfully, the music was quieter.

“nah, not really for me,” you replied, turning back on yourself, when you noticed jake. “oh, are you playing?” you asked him, ready to change your mind.

“are you?” he asked back.

“no, she’s being boring!” jay answered for you, leaving you with nothing more to add than an awkward smile.

instead of barging back in on the conversation you were just having with your other friends, you headed to the bathroom upstairs. jake followed quietly. as you went to shut the door, jake slipped into the bathroom with you, only realising once he was actually in the room with you that you probably came in here to use the toilet.

“i’m sorry, i didn’t think this was the uh-” he stuttered his way through the sentence, trying to shut and cover his eyes for no reason.

“no it’s okay i didn’t come in here to,” you coughed in place of the word, “i’m just here to get away from that lot,” you pointed to the floor.

“honestly,” his hand scratched at the back of his head, “i’m kinda bored of this party.”

“me too,” you responded, a little too excitedly as if this was a groundbreaking opinion that you had in common. “shall we go to raya’s room and talk for a bit? or just sit on our phones without being pestered to play some stupid drinking game?”

“yeah, i actually need to tell you something anyway,” he agreed with a shy smile, shuffling into the smallest space possible to let you unlock the door and lead the way, “she won’t mind, right?”

“no, she’s cool with whatever,” you shrug, twisting the door handle and walking into the disaster she calls a room. “don’t mind the mess, 3 girls had to get changed in here earlier!” you explain, as if he’d understand. you propped yourself against her headboard and threw all of the random clothes into the floor. you scurried your feet under the blanket folded at the end of her bed. he joined you after taking off his jacket, resting his head on her pillow, his hands clasped together on his torso. “what did you need to tell me?” you rolled onto your side, your hand sandwiched between your cheek and a pillow.

“oh,” he rolled over to face you, “that guy, leo, he’s the dj.”

your heart sank as he told you, you were kind of hoping for more, and it was definitely clear on your face.

“and also that you look pretty tonight,” he smiled, his hand at your hip, “you always look pretty in fact, i think about how pretty you are all the time.”

you hide your face by burying it into the pillow, “i thought those beers were 0%?”

“i’m being serious y/n,” he clarifies.

you look back at him again. his eyes are filled with sincerity, but it’s hard for you to remain focused on them when your eyes keep falling to his lips. you reassured yourself that it was okay, his eyes were doing the same.

“can i kiss you?” he asks, taking his hand from your hip in favour of tucking a strand of your straightened hair behind your ear.

as he leaned closer, you felt his thumb graze over your lobe a few times. “please,” you whispered.

it seemed to take forever for your lips to finally come together, but when they did, it was everything you’d imagined it to be. he took your bottom lip between his own, enclosing his lips around it more harshly with each kiss. it wasn’t long before your tongues vied to enter the other’s mouth. in the meantime, jake had managed to steady himself on his elbow, soon on top of you, between your legs. you were experienced enough to know exactly where this was going, but that wasn’t what you wanted from this, so you pulled away for a moment.

“jake,” you started, snapping him out of the trance you’d put him in, “i really like you, you know that right?” your hands squeezed as his upper arms.

he melted under your touch. “i do now,” he laughed, “and i really like you too, don’t worry.”

“so, i don’t want this to just be,” you motioned to either side of you both, “just whatever this is.”

“it’s not,” he chuckled before leaning in to give you a small gentle kiss on your lips. another shortly followed, and then a longer one at the corner of your mouth. you played with his hair between your fingers. “baby, you’re already mine,” he commented, kissing your collarbone while tugging at the chest area of your shirt that showed a lot of cleavage. you managed to drop the straps of the top, shaking them off of your arms as jake eagerly tugged at your shirt some more, leaving it be at the middle of your tummy. his kisses trailed over your chest, down to the button on your jeans. “you’re so fucking gorgeous,” he kneels between your legs as he tussles with the denim waistband of his own jeans while you do the same. you undo yours before him and wait for him to take them off for you, which he does along with your panties before even doing his own.

it’s almost as if he forgets to take off his jeans, as he shuffles down the bed with his thumb slowly circling your clit. he replaces his thumb with his plump lips, pressing a small, light kiss against it while your legs try to close in on him. he pulls away, his middle finger lapping your pussy before he gently pushes it in. “if i make you cum tonight, will you be my girlfriend?” his smile is cheeky, but you know jake well enough to know that it’s genuine.

your lips struggle to stay shut as you nod, trying your hardest not to moan under his touch already.

his head ducks again, “good,” he smiles against your clit. his tongue fights the hood of your clit, easily finding the most sensitive part of your body in a matter of seconds. your hand pushes his head further onto you as his tongue works your clit and his fingers curl inside you. you’re not sure when he added another finger, but you’re enjoying it too much to care.

“fuck, jake,” your legs close a little more around his head as you feel a trickle, or maybe a stream, of water run out of you.

“did you just squirt for me, baby?” he looks up at you while biting his lower lip.

“i think,” you laugh awkwardly, “i’ve never done that before!”

“fuck that’s so hot,” his fingers curl inside you one last time before he pulls them out. they’re dripping wet, as you expected. “suck on them princess, make them clean,” he commands. you take the two fingers into your mouth, swirling your tongue around them and trying to take more of their length as you would his cock. while you’re sucking on his fingers, jake manages to unbutton his pants to reveal his dick. he pumps it in his hands a few times while removing his jeans before tapping it against your clit.

“do you,” you pause as he hits it against your clit one more time, causing you to shake in pleasure, “do you have a condom?”

he scrambles off the bed, reaching inside his jacket pocket which he threw to the ground and pulling out a small silver tin filled with condoms. he singled one out and opened it up, rolling it onto his dick with the most adorable concentration face. he climbs back into the bed, his hands coming to your sides to flip you over and help you onto all fours in front of him. you back up, your ass against his hard dick, which is enough for jake to know you want it just as much as he does.

with his hand at the base of his cock, he pushes it into you gently, letting you take it all and get used to his girth.

“should i move?” he asks, almost as if he feels guilty for his size.

you hum, it’s the only thing you can do while he’s inside of you, you realise.

he pulls his dick out and pushes it back in again, soon building up to a pace that suits you both. his hand has found your hair, he’s bunched it together and pulled it all back, using it to keep his balance as he fucks you. you help him keep his rhythm, throwing your ass back against him until he stops abruptly.

“turn over, baby, i miss that beautiful face of yours,” he taps your ass as he pulls out of you. a little short of breath, he relaxes back against his heels while you turn over. your hand finds your clit, rubbing it for him to watch. “is that how you like it?” he asks, mentally taking notes. he takes your hand away and places it near to your face, as if he’s asking you to suck on your fingers. he gets to his knees once again and lines himself up with your pussy. his dick misses a few times, which makes him a little mad at himself. you think it’s cute. he finally gets it in with a groan, “shit, you feel so good,” he compliments, leaning on his hand above your head. his lips find your forehead. he places a gentle kiss against it while whispering, “you look so good under me,” before allowing himself to sit upright again. his pace matches the pace he set before, but this time he added rubbing your clit into the equation, just as you showed him only moments ago.

“jake,” your hand rested on his chest while the other gripped at the sheet beneath you, “i’m cumming,” you moaned and winced, your pussy throbbing around him. you felt so vulnerable in that moment, but you knew you were safe with jake.

“you’re such a good girl,” his came close to your face again, taking your lips between his own and then pulling away as the pulsating became less intense around his dick. he began to fuck you again, but a lot sloppier and with more groans than before. he soon pulled out, pulling off the condom and wobbling and kneeling to the side of you in urgency before spraying your tits with his cum. you took your finger to your chest, scraping up what you could before dripping it into your mouth and sucking the rest off your fingers. jake pulled up his boxers and ran to the bathroom you were in earlier that night to grab a towel, the bathroom bin going with a loud clang as he disposed of the condom. he came back and patted your chest with the towel, your face too, all while laughing to himself.

“what’s funny?” you asked, searching for your own underwear with your hand.

“nothing,” he carried on, chuckling away, “you’re just really cute.” you smiled to yourself, sorting out your rolled up shirt with your other hand to cover your chest again. jake tried to help, but unfortunately the only time he can keep his lips off of yours is to kiss your neck, or mumble against it. “even cuter now that you're my girlfriend.”

“guys, why are you in my-” raya covers her eyes as soon as she notices jake is only in his boxers, “not my best sheets, y/n,” she comments with a cry, before shutting the door, leaving the pair of you to laugh about almost getting caught.

[secret-smut-sideblog]

Satiated

Astarion x F! Dark Urge

18+ violence, beheading, blood drinking, arousal at violence, sub/dom if you squint, p-in-v, sex with armor on, vulnerability, aftercare, complicated feelings, porn w/ very little plot, deranged shit and I'm not sorry

With Astarion starving in the Underdark his bloodthirsty friend sees his hunger, knows it quite well. And with a promised death in their future, seeks to help him sate himself...

-

Their time in the Underdark could have only been days but seemed to drag on endlessly. The lack of sunlight making him miserable. Snappy.

He knew he was being unfair when she asked quietly if he was alright and he scoffed at her. "Please. Spare me the coddling."

There was mild hurt in her eyes but she held her hands up in surrender. "Sorry, Star. I wont ask again."

He almost sighed, compelled to call her back and apologize. But he was nothing if not stubborn.

Honestly, the lack of sunlight was just salt in the wound. The true torment was hunger.

Nearly no wildlife available, and what was stalking around was not easy prey. If the blood in these beasts was any good anyway, he did not feel like risking life and limb every night to get some likely rancid blood.

Sure she had offered her neck a few times but she needed her strength, and it wounded his pride to feel like a charity case.

So the answer to his plight had been the spoils of combat. Any time they felled a duergar, a drow, he was draining the bodies dry.

The first few times his companions had shot eachother looks but she turned them by the shoulder, speaking quietly into their ears. Leading them away to let him feast.

He really did appreciate her, though he was struggling to show it recently. With her bloodlust he knew she understood on some level. Looked at him when he got like this with gentle recognition instead of disgust.

When they reached the Grymforge he felt delirious in hunger. Looking around at all the walking bodies, he could smell the blood.

He set his sights on the Drow, already promised dead to the Myconid's. A full meal. They just needed to get the idiot out of the rock fall and he could be sated.

When it finally came time to kill Nere and his followers he miraculously harvested all of his adrenaline and did his part, firing down arrows from on high. Watching her dance her violence into their foes.

Oh he did love watching her work. Her movements were always so joyful, a wide smile she didn't seem aware of splitting her face. Blades plunging so smoothly through chests, across throats. He adjusted his trousers as subtly as he could from his perch. Hearing her laugh, such a beautiful sound for such violent deeds.

Gods no wonder everyone was afraid of her. He should be too. And yet...

Afterwards the pleasantries were exchanged, the slaves freed, blah blah blah. His eyes were glazed over, all of his restraint focused on maintaining decorum. Mouth salivating, fangs aching.

His patience snapping, he connected to her tadpole. Hells below, can we PLEASE finish this up?

She glanced over at him, a small smile pressing the corner of her lips.

"Get out of here before I change my mind." She growled at the duergar.

"Astarion, help me with the head." She commanded. "Karlach, Lae'zel, take the remaining gnomes to the boats and make sure the path to the elevator is clear. We dont need any surprises."

"Aye, Soldier!" Karlach barked, Lae'zel nodding next to her.

"With me." She whispered, dark eyes meeting his. He raised an eyebrow slightly.

Surely she didn't need help with a beheading. He had watched her do much more strenuous violence quite easily. Ignored the twitch in his armor at the thought.

The Drow's slack form lay in a heap on the rock floor. He saw a shiver go down her spine as she straddled over the body.

"Sorry Astarion, we've got to do this first. Then we'll get you fed."

So she did plan to help him. Through the delirium he felt a tingle of fondness for her.

He could only nod, not trusting his saliva soaked mouth to form words.

She pulled her blade, chest heaving. Deeply aroused he realized, he could smell it radiating from her. He moved back to the shadows next to her to give himself some privacy as his own arousal spiked. The little remaining blood in his body pooling in his lower half.

She lifted the body to a sitting position, holding the torso steady between her knees, gripping the hair for leverage. Pressing her blade down on the throat.

He was confused by her technique at first. Surely it would be easier against the ground? Then realized what she was doing. Gravity. Keeping as much of the blood in the body as possible.

He stifled a moan, hunching over slightly. Gods he felt feral.

Back and forth she sawed through. Her eyes glazing over in pleasure. A slack smile pulling her face. Hips subtly grinding into the torso. Lost in herself.

He understood why she had sent everyone away.

When the head finally came free she gripped the scalp, smiling serenely. Free hand trying to catch the pooled blood pouring from the neck. Finding him in the dark.

Well? Her eyes said, pupils blown.

Shocked that he had forgotten his hunger for a moment he dove on the body.

Lapping and slurping he was lost. Laving his tongue along the plateau of flesh. Stopping to pull the pooled blood in her palm into his mouth, licking her fingers clean. Vaguely aware of a whimper from her lips.

Most of the blood gone from the wound he sank viscously into the lower neck, finding the base of the jugular. A tide of hot blood bursting into his mouth, rolling his eyes back. Oh gods he could barely stand it.

"There you go," She purred, pushing his hair out of his face. "You're doing so good."

His eyes met hers in a craze, a deep growl from his chest. The sensation of finally being fed and her soft words melding into something he had never felt before.

If he had more sense about him he might have laughed. From being forbidden from drinking from thinking creatures to being praised for it. The same person he had broken that chain with showering him with sweet words.

He gripped the body, his whole being focused on the singular task of getting more. More. More.

Some stray blood left his lips, dripping down the neck. Her eyes met it, lips parting.

Before he knew what was happening she leaned forward, licking it up in one small stroke. The tip of her tongue meeting the edge of his lip.

Did she...? Does she drink blood? He had never considered it but now it fired a piston of lust in his pelvis.

He pulled off of the wound, pressing his hand hard against it to keep as much in as he could.

Catching the nape of her neck and pulling her into his mouth roughly.

Pushing the mouthful he held into hers urgently.

He saw her eyes hitch back. Gripping his forearm. Throat working, moaning between swallows into his copper mouth.

Hells Below, he was going to go mad.

He latched back on, still ravenous. His eyes locked on her.

She stared at him with the same intensity. Eyes darting to the smeared blood he left in his wake. Back to his eyes. Her need apparent.

He pulled her by the throat to inches from his clamped down mouth. Pushed her jaw open roughly.

She whimpered hotly, tongue coming out to lave at his mess. Could feel the heat of her, their cheeks nearly touching.

Her tongue kept swiping at the seam of his lips as more blood slipped out. He nearly lost it when she devoted her tongue just to him, moaning sweet little calls against his jaw.

The vigor came back to him with a vengeance. The blood that wasnt fireworking across the base of his skull shooting straight to his pelvis.

The flow to his mouth getting weak he fell on his back, pulling the body over him. Loud choppy pants as he lifted his hips up. All decorum lost, he was vulgar in his need. The angle pushing the blood out. Pouring into his open mouth. Closing his eyes in deep ecstasy.

"Oh, Astarion..." She hushed, coming to kneel behind him. Her thighs caging around his head, looking down at him. Fingers running through his hair. "You've been so patient."

He nodded, looking up at her.

"You must have been so hungry." She reached forward, finger catching a stray drop traveling down his jaw.

"I'm sorry I made you wait this long." Parting her plush lips and licking it in. Seeing the edge of her tongue swirling around her fingertip.

Finally releasing the drained body he sucked his breath through his teeth.

Throwing it off of him he reached up, catching her face in both hands. Pulling her sweet mouth upside down into his. Drowning in her.

She cupped his jaw, kissing him slow. Searing. Pulling his lip into her mouth and biting softly.

He moaned into her, arching his head up for more. The blood sliding hot between their lips.

Gods she was so warm, so soft. It never failed to shock him just how heavenly she felt. Her hair falling curtain around his head. Her scent hitting the back of his throat. Jasmine, coffee, orange blossom. He wanted to be smothered by it.

Not able to stand it any longer he opened the fastenings on his armor, freeing himself from the painful cage of his arousal.

She pulled away slowly, a trail of their saliva between their lips. Looked at his length, his hand pumping along it, with lidded eyes.

Flipping she straddled over him, high on her knees. "Would you like some help?" She rumbled, fingers tracing along the fastenings on her own armor.

He nearly froze, sex was something he still felt... complicated about. And yet, he liked her. Really liked her. Trusted her. Or at least as close to trust as he could muster.

And Gods was he attracted to her, tall, curvy, scary. Very scary. Yet somehow still alluring, big doe eyes and soft plush lips. A mesmerizing contradiction.

He nodded. Gripping the chainmail on her hip.

"If we need to stop, say serpent. Okay?" She smiled, undoing the fastenings. Gods she wasn't even wearing underclothes, her perfect cunt hovering over him. A trail of wetness already pooling between.

"I like the choice of word. How devilish." He purred, watching as she lined herself up to him.

"Glad to see you found your voice again, Star." She smiled. Teasing his head in circles at her entrance. "What would I do without your voice drawling at my back all day?"

He was about to respond but she slammed her hips down. He almost saw stars, head thrown back.

"Mean." He gasped, to her evil giggle.

"Cant always let you get the last word." She smiled, trailing her hand tenderly down his cheek. His breath caught in his throat.

Her hips began to rise and fall. The cold bite of her armor against his hands his only anchor. The molten pressure of her cunt unbelievable. He was already panting.

"Gods you feel so good." She moaned, rolling her hips. Trying to hit the spot below her navel that he could find with his fingers. He arched his hips, saw her eyelids flutter, rubbing against it.

Her pace was slow, arching into him languidly. Pulling nearly entirely out then sliding back down, all the way to the hilt.

He was already writhing under her. Simultaneously needing her to pick up the pace but calling for his undoing if she did.

"While I'd enjoy riding you all night, we don't have much longer till our friends return." She mused. "So,"

Her hips began slamming into his, fast and angry.

He choked out a moan, the very same life that had been returned to him attempting to be pulled from his pelvis. Barely holding on.

He wouldn't come first. Reaching up to rub her clit.

"Gods your stubborn." She admonished, swatting his hand away.

"Let me help you find release, just one more time." She murmured, cradling the back of his head. Leaning down and catching the lobe of his ear in her mouth, nibbling and suckling.

Oh that was cheating. He groaned, hips fucking up into her hard. Nearly lost.

Her pleasure not being the forefront throwing him. Didnt she want to find her end?

"Please come inside me, Astarion." She whispered hot in his ear. Tongue licking a line up the sharp edge. "Please, beautiful."

He shuddered and with a great contraction behind his navel he was gone. Strangled whimpering moans, head thrown back. Gods above and below it felt like she was pulling his soul out.

Hips stuttering into her. Her's still rising and falling, wrenching him for all he was worth. He gripped fruitlessly at the rubble around them. Panting sharp little moans. Trying to find grounding in her chainmail thighs.

"Serpent," He groaned, the overstimulation too much.

Her hips stopped immediately. Pulling off of him and wiping him clean gently. Gingerly redressing his fastenings before hers. Her fingers sure but careful.

He stared down, dumbfounded. He had never had a lover attend to him before.

Felt the need to turn away from her, sitting up. Suddenly too vulnerable. Leaning his head into his hand, the heel pushing into his cheekbone.

"You okay?" She asked, attending to her own needs now. Tone kind and undemanding.

"You're just full of surprises, aren't you?" He quipped, glancing at her. Trying to shake his mask back on.

She laughed, standing. Readjusting her armor with a few jostling pulls. "More than any of us know, I'd wager." She sighed.

"Hey, I dont want you to wait until it gets this bad again. Lots of people need killing and it's my pleasure to help. Truly."

Reaching her hand out easily to help him up.

He looked up at her, framed by the light of the cave in opening. The burning heat halo around her head. Her face serious again but eyes still warm. "You with me?" She asked after a beat.

He clasped his hand around her wrist. "Always."

~

[soaps-mohawk]

I saw your last post and I hope you're doing OK! I'm sorry for whatever you've been going through and hope that things get better for you; and whoever isn't there when you need them, just know we'll take their place honey! We shall always be loyal to you 😞. P.s. Let me know if I need to go buy some questionable items for questionably illegal things. 🗡🔪🔫🥖(trust me, stale baguettes kill)

I'm alright. Its just been a rough last couple weeks. The vibes have been absolutely rancid lately, and idk I've just been feeling kind of alone while trying to deal with some pretty heavy shit.

[peachiemilkytea]

ɪ ʜᴀᴛᴇ ʏᴏᴜ

Pt 1, Pt 2 , Pt 3

Summary: In the Diner, Michael managed to beat your high score. But what he doesn't know is that you were watching the whole time. You catch his eye and he makes it his mission to annoy you.

Paring: Michael Afton x you

Warnings: small enemies to friends to lovers, Use of Y/N,

WC: 4K

☆════ ⋆★⋆ ════☆

I rubbed my temple, sitting across Henry in his office. It is twelve in the afternoon. All these taxes, calls from our partnered companies to get products, paying the staff, and getting the hardware parts for the repairs is tiring me out but this is my job. It keeps the diner running.

"We'll need to get more meat from the meat market for the burgers and club sandwiches. The employee's pay is coming up about next week too so we should pull out our savings to do that and-" Henry got cut off on his next sentence. The creek of the door opened.

"Am I interrupting?" It was (Y/n) standing at the door holding a paper bag and a vibrant plastic cup. Putting the bag on the table.

"You're not interrupting anything." Henry said, I got up from my seat and pulled a spare chair from the corner to the endside of the desk. Leaving some space for her to sit down. (Y/n) took a seat. I pushed her seat then returned to my own.

"Thank you for the meal, love." I said. It was her normal nickname for me. I always used it for her. It gained a sort of closeness the more I used it till it was permanently engraved into her identity in my mind.

"Thank you (Y/n) I'll pay you back." Henry said, pulling out his wallet.

"Oh no no no no, honestly I should be thanking you guys. You called me just in time. I had to deal with these disturbing kids that knew me back in high school. I wanted to get out of that so bad that Henry called just in time." (Y/n) asked leaning further into the desk with her cheek on her hand and the other sipping her drink.

"Aw I'm sorry to hear that (Y/n) but at least I got you just in time, didn't I? Whenever you don't want to be somewhere you know you could call me." Henry said happily, putting down his food.

"Such disgusting people." I said with a scoff. Americans had no manners. The two of them laughed with me.

"Yeah but anyways, what have you guys been working on?" (Y/n) asked, fiddling the straw in circles.

"Just the boring stuff lately.  We're trying to get big companies to work with us. We need the computer parts for working devices and then repairs for the animatronics. Since Spring Bonnie needs some torso repairs and Fredbear needs a jaw repair. The computer parts are for-" I said till I looked up and saw Henry stuffing his face.

Sauce at the corners of his mouth and licking his fingers. Chewing obnoxiously everytime he took a bite. My nose wrinkled up in disgust, my brows furrowing. Right when I'm talking too. How disgusting. Little snickers were muffled at the end of the table. Henry looked confused but smiled slightly at her giddiness. He tried to lick the corners of his mouth, rancid. (Y/n)'s little snickers became louder till she fully laughed out. Uplifting my bitter mood. A smile spreads out. Henry looked up confused with sauce dripping down the corners, raising his brow, looking back at her then me. (Y/n) grabbed a napkin and handed it to him. He took it and wiped his mouth.

"Anyway, business is constant, we just need to upgrade the restaurant's basic things. The animatronics and shows have our business growing in exposure and wealth." I explained resting my elbows on the table and interlocking my fingers together. Now all we needed to do after this was figure out our next move.

"We'll get more sponsors to get our name out there and we'll take some of the savings money for the company. Let's start with RadioShack since we need to get more parts." Henry explained.

I unwrapped my lunch carefully and took a bite. (Y/n) slurped the straw loudly finishing the last of her drink. She got up from her seat, throwing Henry and her scraps into the trash. I looked at her hands, her nails were painted rosso corsa red. It suited her so well, but purple suited duchess more. Henry stood up and walked to the other side of the desk grabbing the phone from the desk and punching in the number. 

-----

A brunette boy with a group of guys surrounding him played an arcade game. Getting a higher and higher score each level. The group was cheering him on. Sweat dripped down his temples. His hands jagged the joycons. The group of boys yelled "Go Michael!" (Y/n) leaned against the wall of the pizzeria. Henry dragged her down to the diner again so he could show her the latest designs he's been working on. (Y/n) smile melted watching the boys. She remembered getting the highest score on that arcade machine. It took her blood, sweat, and tears. Coming in everyday to try over and over again the high score. The day (Y/n) got it, she freaked. It wasn't real! No way she got it! Was this really happening! (Y/n) ran straight to Henry about her winning.  Henry ended up giving a big bear hug and spinning her around. It was the best day of her life. And there were some boys a little younger than her, about to beat her score.

"Oh my god... Yeah! I did it!" Michael cheered, throwing his arms up.

"Hell yeah Michael!"

"Sweet dude!"

"Who did you pass?"

They all looked at the name under his goofy username. ☆Lucky(N/n)☆ - 7495. Foxybro - 7500. Only by a little bit did he beat her score. Her giggling made their heads turn. There the boys flabbergasted at her. A tall, beautiful, (Y/n) (L/n).

"Hey! Good job there on the high score! That was a good play." (Y/n) complements, gently clapping her hands together. Admittly it was impressive. That is a tricky game to beat.

The two boys, one in the leather jacket with other with piercings stared at her lovingly over her immediately. Michael grabbed the joystick. It broke off from under him. His eyes widened he quickly hid it behind his back and leaned against the arcade machine. Trying to look intimidating. The one with the dark brown hair that almost covered his eyes  chucked at his stupidness and punched his shoulder.

"Yeah it was nothing," Michael scoffed, brushing the top of his hair back. The joystick coming out from behind his back, he quickly threw it behind him and kicked it behind the machine.

"Is that true? Cause the one under your score is mine." (Y/n) grinned pointing her thumb to her chest. Michael glared at her and rolled his eyes. The other guys were laughing at him and punching his shoulder. Being humliated by a really pretty lady is the same thing as a love hate relationship.

"Say what's your name, Dollface?" One of the goo goo eyed guys asked. Going weak in the knees and leaning to the side.

"(Y/n) (L/n). What about you guys?" She said lifting herself up off of the wall. Introducing themselves one by one in their own little special ways. Michael, the one who beat her high score. Alejandro, the guy in the leather jacket. Simon, the one with a lot of piercings. Jeremy, the guy who has a bunch of dark brown fluffy hair in green.

I'll be seeing you guys around."  She saluted them with two fingers. She walked away back to find Henry. Simon sunk down lovingly on the arcade machine, Jeremy waved goodbye with a smile, Michael and Alejandro standing there looking at the joystick in his hands trying to shove it back into the machine.

-----

Father brought me back to the pizzeria again, I don't know why I need to be here with him. Elizabeth and Chris are at home with mom. I would rather be at home in my room with my baby, my electric guitar. Ugh I miss her. I was learning Back in Black from AC/DC. though my fingers are all calloused I still want to play. I groaned, tapping my foot on the floor and rolling my eyes, I crossed my arms. Father made me sit in his office with him. It was getting boring! I can usually go play the arcade games like I was doing or go eat greasy junk food till my stomach hates me. I feel my brain melting! I need to do something!

"Stop your fidgeting, boy." Father said not looking up from his paperwork. it's not like he cares. he doesn't care about anything when it comes to me. It's always about his work.

"Sod off." I spat looking away from him. I dont want to be around him. He gets on my nerves. Putting me in his office. Who does he think he is? I can go out and do the things I want. he only cares when his reputation is in danger.

"That's no way to speak to me, Michael. I don't want you in this room any more than you want to be in here. Frankly, you're a distraction. You remember what happened last time don't you?" Father scolded me with a slight insult. I'm only here because I was picking on little kids and telling them scary stories of the animatronics. Parents complained to Henry and father about it. Now I'm being forced to stay on a leash like I'm some kind of animal. There was a familiar knock on the door.

"William! I need you for some early designs!" Henry called from the otherside of the door. Father groaned and got up from the seat pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I'll be right there, Henry! Don't go anywhere." Father said at the door. He left to go deal with Henry and more work. Yeah... I'm not going to stay here. Their footsteps disappeared and a door clicked. I opened the door, peaking my head out, looking through the halls. Coast is clear. Quickly I lightly stepped through the halls and pushed open the employee's only door. Everything got so noisy after that. Damn kids were screaming their heads off.

What to do first, oh what to do first? I can't scare the kids again or father will notice I'm out. Still doesn't mean I can't have fun. Sneaking into the kitchen I grabbed a slice of a pizza and birthday cake. In the corner hallway where the bathrooms were I ate. The kid having the birthday party looked like he was about to cry at the missing pieces, the mom forced the chiefs back into the kitchen to make another. I hid the spare emergency pizza they have in a locked cabinet under the counter. Licking my lips of the chocolate from the cake. I got up from the floor leaving my trash there.

Huh, the backroom's door is open? No one goes in there if they want to get killed, I've seen it in horror movies all the time. What dumb kid is back there? I could be smart and leave it alone or go in and get killed. I'm going in! Walking up to the slightly open door. I walked inside, the door automatically closing behind me. I jumped and cursed under my breath. A bright light shined in my eyes. I covered them slightly with my hand.

"Hey! You aren't supposed to be back here!"

"Turn off that light! I want to keep my vision, you know!" I said grabbing the end of the light and pointing my light down. What the fuck? The girl from earlier, (Y/n) I think her name was? Was shining a flashlight in my eyes. She was wearing a dark blue jumpsuit with a hefty toolbelt. A yellow name tag on her chest and blocky doc martens. I just know those shoes are making the back of her feet hurt. All the blisters. Her hair was put up into a loose bun and there is construction googles on the top of her head.

"Michael? What are you doing? You're not supposed to be in here!" (Y/n) gasped out through her teeth harshly. She was leaning forwards towards me and looking around. She's trying to find where I am from. Ew, this is her room. This room is made for the head mechanic. Which means she's a fuckin' nerd.

"My father is the boss here, dumbass." I hissed walking past her and looking around. There's so much shiny shit in here. The power tools look sharp and pointy. I went over to them and poked the needle tips.

"But Henry was twins, he would've told me about you... wait... Your Will's kid?! No wonder why you look just like him." (Y/n) said putting her flashlight away and going over to the desk. Those words burned through me and I felt my stomach drop. I wish I didn't.

"Don't you ever say I look like my father! I'm nothing like him!" I yelled, slamming my hand on the table behind her. (Y/n) flinched and kept her mouth shut. I walked away from her grumbling. There goes my fun.

The backrooms held the two animatronics, Fredbear and Springbonnie. There were mechanic tools on the shelfs and spare parts in the other corner. Early designs of the characters hung up on the walls. Tool desks and two small lamp lights hanging from the ceiling. It was hard to see from how dim it was. Checkered flooring like the rest of the restaurant.  I went back over to (Y/n) and looked over her shoulder at the blueprints. It was a pirate fox. It was an early design. I snatched the paper away from her.

"Hey! Give it!" She shouted, holding her hand out. What am I, a dog? No way. This little fox guy is cool. His hook is so badass, what adventures does he go on? Are there more designs? Is she going to make him? I want to know everything about him. Enough with the soft shit, he looks so awesome. I bet he goes arghh!!

"Why should I? This fucker looks creepy you really think kids would like this? This makes it easier for me to scare them. Seriously the fuck is wrong with your head. What? Lost a couple screws?" I made fun of the drawings. She puffed her chest and pouted trying to take it out of my hands. Instead I pulled her with the blueprints. Making her mad is giving me pride. I like pushing her buttons. She gets so worked up.

"Drop it! I need to give it to Henry and Will later." (Y/n) jabbed my side. I flinched taking the moment she grabbed it out of my hands. Sneaky little- god she's so annoying. She put it away in a folder with some other drawings. Hmm, what if I steal that later? There might be more of that fox guy.

"Only little shits would like that crap." I blew a raspberry at her. I know that's a fat lie but the reaction she is giving me is so fun. He had striped pirate pants, a hook, a captain's hat with a feather, a leather vest, and an eye patch. I shouldn't have said that he looked really cool. I should draw him!

(Y/n) was repairing the animatronics, fixing their insides. There was an unfinished big metal root in the corner. I looked back at (Y/n) who was still working. Slowly I grabbed one of the wires. The robot's eyes moved from side to side. Woah! How the hell did it do that? I smiled and pulled another wire. It blinked this time while its eyes moved. It's being controlled somewhere, just where? There was this keypad on the chest. I pressed one of the buttons and its head moved back and forth blockly.

"Don't touch that!" (Y/n) yelled jogging up to me and grabbing my shoulder leading me away from the robot. Fixing it's wires and putting them inside of their metal bodies. Sighing out of relief. What does it look like to be inside of the robot?

"You just love making my job harder, don't you? Don't touch the endoskeleton unless you want to lose an arm." (Y/n) said holding me away from the robot err is it called endoskeleton? it's like the bones of robot. A skull doesn't have eyes though. I want to touch it again so bad.

"You touch it though! How come you haven't lost an arm yet?" I teased. She pushed me out of the backrooms and locked the door behind her. Damn it... Just when I was starting to have fun.

-----

My dad needed me to send out a letter to my aunt, so I had to be the delivery girl who goes to the post office and sends it. I didn't want to do it. I was out in the backyard playing with my dog in a kiddie pool which he couldn't fit in. My saint Bernard named Cujo after my favorite horror story. I read it in English class in Junior High and it stuck with me ever since then. He was splashing me in water, dirt, and dog hair. I put the pool out so Cujo could cool down from the heat.

I can't believe that was interrupted for me. I took my car and drove to the post office turning up the song they played over the radio, you really got me going. Nodding my head to the beat of it. I turned off of the street and into the small shopping center parking lot. The post office was right next to the corner drug store so many high school kids or ex popular dickwads like to hang out. As long as I don't talk to them I should be fine. I grabbed the letter from the passenger seat. My dad couldn't call my aunt because she was in another country, Canada. The phone lines don't reach out of the country, they can go from state to state if you're lucky. They work better in neighborhoods. I got out of the car and locked it behind me with my key.

Shit... No one told me that Michael was going to be here. Ugh if I can't see him he can't see me. I brought up my autumn brown colored flannel to cover up my face, my dog tag chain clanked around my neck. He was there with some greasers and one of the boys I met at the pizzeria. Alejandro? Yeah Alejandro Gon... Gonzales! He was sitting on top of his motorbike with his helmet in hand. He smiled with those pearly whites and waved to me. I waved to him, tucking a strand of hair behind ear. That was embarrassing... I went inside the post office. There was barely a line since it was nighttime. The letter was to be mailed and I can go home! I left the post station, the greasers still standing there. Michael looked back at me whispering something to his friends. They all laughed at what he had to say. I have a feeling that thing is about me.

"Hey (Y/n)!" Michael yelled, waving at me. I rolled my eyes and kept walking. The guys laughed at his mockery, except Alejandro. He gave me a guitly smile and told the other guys off. He was a gentleman unlike Afton. I got into my car slamming the door and speeding out of there. I don't care if I get a ticket. I want to go home. Pulling into the side of my house after a tiring drive. I got out and locked the car behind me with a key.

Unlocking the front door, the house was quiet. Mom and dad must be sleeping already. Daniel was sleeping on the couch with a blanket and Cujo on him. The TV playing Looney Tunes. I sighed, the clock read 12:35. Cujo hopped off of Daniel coming up to me and nudging my hand. I pet his head scratching his ears and swishing his jaw around, Cujo panted with his tail wagging. I turned off the Tv and picked up Daniel sloppily. The blanket was dragging off of his body. I limped walking up the stairs trying not to drop his body. When did this kid get so big? Jesus Chirst he's heavy I feel my arms falling off. The stairs were the hardest part, I opened the door and gently put him down on his bed. I rolled him up in the blanket like a caterpillar. Cujo was standing next to me, I guess he followed me to get the boy and dragged my little brother up the stairs.

Daniel (L/n) my little brother. Ever since I graduated High school he only got bigger. He got out of 7th grade a year after I graduated. He's an 8th grader now. I still miss him when he was younger, not that he isn't young! Just when Daniel was he was so much cuter. He'll always be my baby brother in my eyes. The kid is 13 years old, he already tries to act like he's older. I don't think I'll ever say it out loud, but I love this kid. He's a nerdy boy who loves things like Starwars and Superhero comics. He is a brave kid with a spunk. He's optimistic about the things he does even if he hasn't done them before. He's really protective over me when any boy comes over. Let me tell you now, Daniels has always been a mama's boy. He's really clever but he uses it for evil! To be fair he got it from me. Cujo whined at me. I patted the boy's head and got up from his bed. Leaving the room now quietly shutting the door.

"Come on Cujo, it's late." I said waving my hand  towards the Saint Bernard then towards me. He followed me to my room. Getting dressed into pj shorts and a tank top that matched it. Grabbing the green Floral loose robe off of my hanger. Next to the bedside was a telephone. I punched Cheryl's number and brought it to my ear, laying on my bed. Cujo jumped on my bed next to me and laid on his side. I swear he acts like a human sometimes.

"...Hello?" Cheryl sounded tired, there was shifting on the other side in only what I assumed were blankets. It was her sleepy voice. Raspy and deeper than her normal pitch.

"Did I wake you up?" I asked picking at my fingernails.

"Maybe baby, it's 12:38 at night (Y/n) what is it?" Cheryl said grumpily. She's not a morning person; she always mentions how she needs her beauty sleep. Seriously she has a whole skin care routine before she goes to bed.

"I have stuff going on for once to tell you." I asked, looking at the green phone and twirling the cord.

"Finally! Oh my god! Nothing ever happens in your life!" Cheryl said I heard her get up from the other side. That definitely woke her up. I can picture her already with curlers in her hair and her pastel pink bed sheets with darker polka dots. She probably lifted her sleep mask too. The one with the white ruffles and the creepy eyes with the poorly drawn on eyelashes. I chuckled under my breath.

"Wow, okay rude. Anyway, the diner there was this group of boys playing in the mini arcade section and one of them was trying to beat my high score on one of the games. It was like any kind of group of boys full of sweat and hormones, you know? But he actually beat my high score." I was cut off by girlish squeals. Ow, my ears. She's going to make me deaf one of these days.

"What did you do? Oh did you tell him off! Did you talk to him? No way you, the quiet little good girl, would talk to a group of bad boys." Cheryl teased in sultry tone. I can hear the smile on her face.

"Actually I did talk to them. I congratulated them for beating my high score. You should've seen the look on their faces! Two of them were lover boys. I swear one of them called me Dollface. The one who did beat my high score ended up breaking the joystick when he saw me." I explained biting down on my lip with a grin. It was ridiculously cute. Makes no sense since Michael is a pain in my ass.

"Ahh~!! Are they cute? Please tell me there cute and not some weird guys that look like they belong on the street. You have a type." Cheryl squealed. She knows me all too well, but really none of them are my type. Actually now that I think about it Jeremy might be. He's a sweetheart.

"Hey! My type is cute! Whatever, they're like that group of bad boys but different types. They're not like greasers or gangs. Just some punk ass teenage boys. The one who beat my high score is a jerk face." I groaned remembering this evening and plenty other times. It's been a month now of him torturing me. It's always while I'm on the job. Henry's been worried about me lately cause of it.

"Aww~ what makes you say that?" Cheryl said, adjusting the phone to her other ear. there were sounds of moving and muffled tones.

"He's a dickwad. Those guys keep coming to the diner everyday now to see me, they even scheduled my breaks and day offs which is kinda cute. But like that one guy knows how to tick me off! Okay okay, he's William's son." I said, Cujo curled into my side and put his arm around me. I huffed from the sudden weight but put my arm around him. He was big, furry and warm. Like a big ole heater.

"William has a son?! How am I just now hearing about this (Y/n)? So he's a sexy dad, I get it." Cheryl said huskily. I cringed at first. My nose scrunched up in digust. I don't think about him as this smokin' boss that will flirt with me in his office. I know him as the guy who yells at me when I make his tea in the microwave. Though Cheryl did have a point, though William is intimidating he has a charm. A lot of people talk about him in and out of the pizzeria. Admittedly he is handsome.

"Eww!! Cheryl! He has a wife! Anyway yeah, his name is Michael. He gets on my nerves. He messes me up when I'm working and touches everything, he trips me when I'm skateboarding, he points me out and draws attention to me in public, he's always around me that I get pissed whenever I see him, don't even get me started on the things he says to me! I never wanted to beat a guy's ass more." I gritted my teeth together remembering everything. There were too many times to count and it would take too long but knowing Cheryl she'd like to hear everything.

"It's small things right? Do you ever think (Y/n) he might be getting under your skin because he doesn't know how to talk to you and this is his way of talking to you?" Cheryl asked, she sounded more genuine and serious. I never thought of that.

He must get it from William. When I first started working with Will he was an utter dick to me. Avoiding me and insulting me, till he saw what I could do to the animatronics as an engineer. Will still didn't talk to me after that, but what did happen was I would get little notes saying about how I was doing a good job or how I looked pretty today. They weren't ever signed. Same with little presents that would be my workshop. There would be a bouquet of wildflowers on my tools shelf. Next it would be sunflowers, then it got bigger. I never knew where it came from. It did make my day better though, I would always look forward to going to work. I started talking to William after awhile, turns out he was the one doing all of that. I talked to him about it but to this day he denies that he ever did so.

"Wow, I never thought about that. Boys are confusing. I guess that could be happening? I don't know. I'll keep it in the back of my mind but I'm still pissed at him." I said tapping my chin with the arm I had around Cujo.

"You don't have to be happy that he does it, you can be mad. You have the right to be. Just consider why he's doing it. I'm sure it will all work out!" Cheryl said happily. I hate that she's always right.

"I'll consider it Cher, it's late, it's about to be one in the morning. I woke you up and now you need your beauty sleep. Night Cher, sweet dreams." I said smiling softly. I heard her little 'good night' and a cute yawn from the other side. I put the phone back on the stand. Hanging up on her.

ᴛɪᴍᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ʙᴇᴅ

[boots-with-the-fur-club]

Continuation of an interaction between me and @phoebepheebsphibs’ AUs!

@tmntaucompetition

“I will be taking that, thank you very much!” Donnie says with a smirk and sporting a ninpo made gas mask as he gets his wallet back.

Thief Leo barely holds back gagging from the absolute rancid smell of a genius patented stink bomb.

It was so bad he was on his knees.

“While I admire your tenacity in tricking us all, papa didn’t raise a fool. Unless you count my Leo.”

“I saw him cross his fingers and take your wallet, I just thought it would be funnier if I didn’t say anything.” Leo insists.

Raph clears out the stink bomb smoke with some clones to avoid bothering the other contestants and reaches a hand out to thief Leo.

“We’re gonna let that slide this time because we’re realizin how tough other universes can be, but only one time. Got that, little man?”

Thief Leo begrudgingly nods and takes the help up.

Raph practically lifts him up places him back on his feet.

Both Mikeys arrive back to the scene after spray painting some walls they hope nobody can tie them to.

Con artist Mikey rushes over to thief Leo when he sees his red eyes and how he’s still coughing.

Raph looks over at his Mikey.

“He didn’t try anything, did he?”

Mikey shakes his head.

“He just seemed really happy to have someone new to talk to. He even helped me hold the can up when my arms started shaking.”

“What do we do with them? Just allow the roaming around and general thievery?” Donnie questions.

Mikey looks at the two of them.

“They’re not bad people. He told me how he only had Leo for a long time. We’re pretty lucky we never got separated for long.”

Leo stares for a moment as well before pulling a coin out from his fanny pack and walking closer.

“So, you guys have probably learned a thing or two already about taking stuff without anybody seeing. I think I can teach you something extra! Magic slight of hand!”

Thief Leo beams as he and his Mikey watch Leo toss around a coin before making it disappear completely.

“How did you do that without sleeves!?”

“It’s all in the redirection, alt me.” Leo pulls the coin out from con artist Mikey’s shirt collar.

His jaw drops as he grabs the coin.

“Woah! Amazing!” He quickly puts the coin his pocket.

Leo let’s that slide.

“Hey, guys, permission for a small portal?”

His brothers all nod and Leo opens it up. He reaches his arm inside, fishing around before he pulls out some unicorns.

The portal closes back up immediately after.

Leo hands the unicorns to the both of them.

“Mikey and I got way too many when we were working at Hueso’s that one time. Go grab some pizza on us.”

Thief Leo looks at him in shock.

“You’re just giving us these!? Why!? I stole your brother’s wallet!”

“Well I’m pretty sure you weren’t taking it to buy video games, though even then I think you guys deserve to be able to play some, you need it. There should be enough for two so no skipping out so Mikey can eat more.”

Thief Leo looks away like he got caught in something.

Con artist Mikey stares at his brother, then at Leo who he hugs tightly.

“Thank you!”

Leo smiles softly and pats his shoulder.

“Just don’t go fainting again anytime soon.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“Also get your hands out of my fanny pack.”

“Sorry.”

[brilyyy]

Romance (Alastor x Angel Dust) 2/3

Here we go with part two, all I can say is, sorry Angel ❤️❤️ part three coming soon!

story warnings - horror, disturbing imagery

Angel's shoulders fell as he let out a huff of exasperation. Why the fuck didn’t he think something like this would happen? Of course that asshole was going to make something as easy as sex this exhausting and as annoying as possible. Angel huffed again, I mean, it’s not like he had anything better to do, Val would be pissed if he didn’t show but what was new? He was overbearing whether Angel was trying or not, and after that last shoot he could use some recovery time. Charlie would wonder I’m sure, but She and Vaggie had been spending more time together since she found out they were an Angel, and honestly it was kinda gross how cutesy they were being. “I better get my ass ate for this.” Angel muttered crossing his arms.

After a minute, another deep sigh and another roll of his eyes, Angel started walking through the forest, he figured he’d walk across the small clearing at least to get away from the tree. During the broadcast he had noticed small dolls hanging from the branches of the mangled tree and felt shivers run through him, though not the enjoyable ones from before. The twisted figures were made out of twigs and reeds tied together with rips of cloth and hung from the branches on different lengths of string. It unsettled him and replaced the once aching in his stomach with a sickness that made him look away. Walking further from the tree he expected to hear more wildlife, but still there was nothing but the periodic, faint call of birds in the distance and the sounds of leaves and branches crunching under his steps. 

—

He walked for what seemed like hours over mossy fallen trees and through pits of thick mud filled with branches. The forest floor was rarely flat, so he huffed and cursed loudly as he climbed over slippery grass and mossed boulders, gnarled, twisted roots sending him stumbling often. The light drizzle didn't help, a constant mist blanketing the forest. He fell only once, but cursed very loudly about it and screamed colorful profanities into the forest for about 10 minutes afterward. Thoroughly exhausted and over his muddy hike, he cried out in joy when he found a creek running through the trees. "FUCKING finally," He smiled as he reached for the refreshing stream and settled on a nearby boulder to rest. He closed his eyes and let out a contented sigh as the dry aching in his throat was washed away by the chilled water. He took a deep breath and opened his eyes, looking around to see if there was any sign he was getting closer, closer to killin' Alastor he thought. 

The sky was still bright but it had changed from a faint pink hue to a slightly green light. It tricked Angel's eyes and made him think he was seeing things, trees moving or, people? No...something. Following behind him, standing just outside his periphery. Every time he turned around nothing was there, just silence and the thousands of trees that surrounded him, but he couldn't shake the feeling that there was something there. A fog had begun to hang low over the moss and twisted tree roots, he blamed that and the oddly green sky for the tricks of his eyes.

Taking another drink of water Angel splashed some of the water on the back of his neck and closed his eyes taking another deep breath. This place was making him paranoid, the forest was so quiet it was unnerving. He could only hear far off birds sometimes, but he never saw any, and even their chirps were sounding stranger and stranger the further he went. He’d also noticed little… things. Trees with carvings in them, symbols he'd never seen before that looked similar to Alastor's, they were lines carved deep into the wood. Sometimes the wood oozed a deep crimson sap that smelled like rancid meat. If that wasn't fucked enough he started to find clothes. Walking through some bushes he had found a sweater snagged on a low tree branch, ripped and dirty, but wearable. At first he was relieved to no longer be cold and immediately covered himself in it. 

Happy to no longer be shirtless, the more he walked the more he began to wonder about why it was even there to begin with. A bit further along he found a pair of shoes nestled against the base of a tree. Each sock had been folded neatly and tucked into each shoe, with a pair of tortoise shell glasses settled neatly on top. The shoes were shined to an almost mirror finish and the items looked in perfect condition, save for the single drop of blood on the toe of the left wingtip. Seeing this made his stomach churn and suddenly he felt his skin itch under the fabric of the sweater. He looked down at the sweater and decided to keep it (better than being cold, the forest was freezing and the fog was only getting worse) but he decided to ignore the missing portion of the sweater, cut out right above the heart.

He could bare all of that, he thought, fucked up as it was, but what disturbed him the most were the dolls. Throughout the forests canopy there were clusters of dolls littering the branches, differently colored and patterned scraps of cloth tied around bundles of sticks and straw or hay hanging from the ceiling of trees. He shivered under their eyeless gaze and hated seeing them twisting in the non existent breeze. He felt like he could hear them whispering, but he shook that off as more paranoia. More than anything right now he just wanted to go home. 

Angel shook off the thought and reached into the stream for one last handful of water before moving on and brought his hands to his mouth, sipping slowly. His eyes snapped open in shock. Quickly and Violently he spat out the liquid and looked at his hands, that wasn’t water - something almost black and bitter, it coated his fingers and slowly slid down his arms. He looked down in horror at the creek and saw that instead of the streams of crystal cool water, It was deep crimson, thick, congealed pools of long since dead blood, black ooze slipping over rocks and all down his hands and face. “What the ffffuckkkk…” Panicked, Angel frantically wiped his face and hands on his new covering and the ground trying not to vomit when a piercing cry rang through the trees. He froze. The sound was far but loud, it sounded otherworldly and hollow, like something was wounded. Metallic but broken, it cut straight through whatever was left of Angel's bravery and chilled him to his core. The screech echoed through the trees so loudly that birds should have come flooding out, but Angel was truly alone, and for the first time he began to actually fear where he was.

As the cries died and echos faded, there was nothing left but ringing silence. Angel having been frozen in place, stood up and looked in the direction the sound came from. His heart was pounding in his throat and all he could feel was a sick dread building in his stomach. His fear immediately turned into fury at the demon causing his unease and his lips curled in a hateful snarl  “SUCK MY DICK ALASTOR!!" Angel screamed defiantly from his chest into the trees. If it wasn't for so many brutal nights with Val he wouldn't have been able to keep the fear from his voice, but he was quickly losing his composure.

Nothing again but deafening silence. Angel stared again at the place in the trees where the scream had come from, breathing heavily and daring it to respond. After another long moment of silence, he decided he'd had enough rest and to get back towards, wherever it was he was going. Turning his back on the trees, he shifted to step over the once again crystal clear stream when another a piercing screech rang through the trees like a scream, louder and more violent than before.

The sound shook the trees and threw leaves and stray branches at Angel's face. He braced himself against the gusting winds, but the force of the haunted scream pushed him to the ground, sending him scurrying to hide his back against a tree. He hid behind a fallen trunk large enough to cover him fully, the screams getting louder and more distorted the longer they rang. He covered his head with one pair of arms and covered his ears with a second, burying his head in his knees, he wrapped a third set of arms around his body and begged for the noise to end.

The forest was shaking with the metallic cry, like large rusted horns scraping against each other, though there was something human in the cry that made Angel's blood freeze. The force of the scream whipped tree branches and leaves around, snapping younger trees in half and hurling them at the tree the young spider hid behind. Angel grit his teeth together as tears welled up in his eyes, his body shaking with the sound of the screaming, sucking up all of the oxygen, vibrating through out his entire body until he could barely breathe. 

Then, the cry stopped just as suddenly as it had started, no echo, just silence, and for a minute there was nothing. Then, a deep, sickening thud. Angel could hear the sounds of old trees far in the distance cracking and being felled, branches snapping echoed in the air, and large objects crashed to the ground. Panting, he ripped his teary eyes open, and gingerly peeped around his hiding tree. Silence, and then the sound of cracking in the distance, followed by a ground shaking thump.

Frozen in place, Angel watched in horror as the trees far off in the distance began to shake, then another large tremor, followed by torturous silence. Tears streaming down his face, Angel stared forward at the trees, a set of hands covering his mouth as he panted in fear, unable to look away as whatever it was as it came closer, the cracking and breaking becoming louder and louder, the snapping branches sharper in his ear.

Shaking leaves and large, old trees cracked off in the distance, he could see them crashing down, but he couldn’t see what was doing it, his pink eyes darting and scouring the tree line to find it. The sickening footfalls shook the trees surrounding angel and he cowered behind the tree trunk as the ground settled. Shaking, he peeked over the fallen tree once again, straining to see whatever the fuck that thing was. 

He gasped when he finally saw it. Just a glimpse, but it was enough to shake him to his core - a towering, distorted and unnerving creature, grotesque proportions and glowing red eyes staring straight at him. Angel felt hollow with a true sense of dread but was rooted in place, unable to look away or breathe. The creature was tall and so large, he couldn't see its whole body. Pitch black with arms and legs impossibly long and thin, red eyes glowing from behind what looked to be a large white buck skull, a bright crown of thorny antlers jutting from its head. Its neck stretched long and tilted brokenly through the trees, black blood dripping from its fanged mouth, the twisted crown of dagger-like antlers rest upon its head. It crouched on all four legs but as it began to slowly move forward, Angel could see it shifting between walking upright and on all fours as it approached causing all of his hair to stand on end. The way it looked, the way it moved…. It was wrong. 

The beast now on all fours, slowly due to its size, boomed closer through the trees until it stoped a fair distance from where the spider hid. The black mass paused, unaffected by the falling trees and snapping of roots as it moved through the forest. For a long time, the inky creature stared back at the spider hiding behind the tree. Angel took a shaky breath, straining to see the creature through the trees, but he dared not move under the twisted creatures red stare. The monster in the trees stared back, then abruptly stood up on its two back legs. It watched for another moment then twisted its head 180 degrees. Angel held his breath. The creature stared back, the air was still.

The horned creature twisted and snaked its unnaturally long neck around trees and closer towards Angel then stopped sharply, cocking its head a half turn so that it was now sideways. The creature stared again, its red eyes glowering, burning into Angel’s. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t stop shaking, but couldn’t look away. In horror, Angel watched as it slowly opened its jaws, blood and chucks of rotted flesh falling from its tilted mouth. Angels ears rang in the silence as the creature remained unnaturally still. It was still for a long time.

Then, when Angel felt like he couldn’t take it anymore, the creatures gaping skull let out an ungodly metallic scream, the dying call of a wounded deer distorted and twisted slammed through the trees. Disembodied voices screamed along with the sound of steel claws on chalkboard pierced Angel’s ears. The vibration of the screeching in the air was suffocating and immediately pushed out all of the air, forcing him to his feet as his pink eyes widened in fear and his body took over. Angel turned from the eldritch terror and ran as fast as he could. 

He scrambled over the twisting roots and leaves, past trees and over boulders while the screaming rang louder behind him, shaking the air in his lungs. Heart pounding in his ears, Angel raced through the trees, eyes wide in terror, forcing his tired body to move. The creature let out another long haunted screech, ripping chills through the air, the screaming of a woman loud in his ear, pushing Angel to run harder, even though his body was on fire with strain.

His foot slipped and sent him headfirst into a tree, bashing his face into the ragged bark, but he pushed himself away instantly and ran further into the forest, away from the grotesque demonic creature screaming behind him, he could taste blood in his mouth. The hollow metallic bellow rang throughout the forest and straight through him, and worse of all, now he could hear it running after him.

The thundering stampede shook the ground, causing Angel to pant and push faster, the crashing and snapping of trees, the scraping of rusted steel rubbing against itself screaming became the air. Angel strained and gasped, his legs were burning and he felt like his lungs were on fire, but he dared not stop. He scrambled past fallen trees and pushed branches out of the way, smaller ones whipping his cheeks, the gusts of wind from the creatures screams sending leaves scattered through the air. 

Pushed by his primal need to survive, Angel ran harder. He darted past a tree and stepped out, but his foot found nothing and sent him stumbling down a hill over broken trees and shrubs. Heel over head, he fell down the steep bank covered in boulders and roots as the tortured screams echoed above him. Angel bounced and tumbled, crying out as he bashed into trees along the way until he slid on leaves finally reaching flat land. He laid there, panting, bloody and broken. His entire body ached and his head was fuzzy, a loud ringing in his ears. His eyes drifted between open and closed, weakly, he took short ragged breaths, the taste of blood and dirt in his mouth.

His body begged for rest, and he gave in for a moment, but the screams vibrating in the air returned, finally louder than the ringing in his ears and Angel scrambled, weakly slipping over leaves towards a large knot in base of a nearby weeping willow. He crawled brokenly towards the tree, weakly he grabbed at the cage like roots and buried himself deep inside of the trunk, pushing himself as far in as he could to the alcove, pulling his body in just as tight. 

Angel screwed his eyes shut and let out a terrified whimper, covering his ears and head with a set of arms and holding his body tight with the other as the tree vibrated around him. The next round of screams came from right above the willow, shaking every fiber between them with its foul violin shrieks, sending a jolt directly into Angel. Mind blank, eyes wide is absolute terror, shakily, he pushed himself deeper into the tree, begging for it to stop through broken silent sobs and clawing weakly into the solid roots and dirt. Tears streak down his face as he whimpered beneath the screaming overhead, when suddenly he felt something. Angel grabbed for what felt like cloth, thick yarn similar to the sweater he was wearing. He freezes. Cracking his eyes, he cautiously peered in the direction of his touch, eyes shaking with tears, fear, mania. 

He followed his arm down to his hand, then to his fingertips where he saw what looked like an arm. His fingers rested near the elbow, arm bent away from him and resting above where the head would be. Angel shook with the yelling of the horror, choking on the damp air, he noticed the sweater. It was black with similar details to his, whereas the sweater he wore was white with black details. Somehow, his stomach fell further and he felt bile come up his throat. He turned his head fully and stared in horror at the one armed headless torso, tears burning his cheeks, his mouth open in a silent racking sob. He pulled his hand back gingerly, ears ringing, body pounding, with the creatures hollow, bellowing screeches over head. 

He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the body, dried blood painting the white accents in their sweater, sending him further into his corner and spiral - but then, he noticed something in her hand. Angel couldn’t control his body at this point, his arm reached out for some unknown reason and pulled the arm back enough to see a silver charm bracelet half buried in the dirt. Tarnished and small, angel saw three silver pieces hanging from it - A carousel horse, a four leaf clover, and a heart with a word inscribed - sisters.

Angel snapped his hand back and screamed. He screamed and screamed and though his cries were drowned out by the thunderous bellowing above him, they ripped his already paper thin throat apart. He scrambled out of the hidden cove, crawling away from the corpse, sobbing and screaming. The willow’s cover shield’s Angel from the demon, but he could see its sickly long legs and claws surrounding the tree. Its limbs long and black, dripping with dead blood, rancid and decayed flesh sloughing off against rooted trees, insects crawling from its long fingers.

Angel’s eyes traveled up the creatures legs and found the cover of the willow, curtains of petal shaped leaves shielding him from the existential horror raging above him. As Angel looked into the canopy protecting him from seeing the creature, his eyes found a terrible thing.

An arm, with a silver charm bracelet, strung from a branch. 

His eyes found another arm, and then a leg, then another leg, all strung from varying lengths of rope, scattered amongst the willows protective shield of branches and leaves. From underneath the tree like this, he stared up into a sky filled with rotted limbs and dolls made from reeds and twigs, tied together with differing colored scraps of cloth, plaid, patterned, bloodied.

The demon let out another deep haunted cry, screeching metal ripping across the rancid violin, stabbing through his sanity, and something snapped in Angel. He clutched his head and screamed, screamed until he ran out of breath and then ripping cold air into his lungs he screamed again. He turned in on himself, writhing on a bed of leaves and clutching at his head, he screamed, lungs wrung of any breath.

The air shook with Angel and the creature’s screams until the spinning of his head became too much. Angel closed his eyes and he slipped away, finally surrendering to his body’s pain, resigned to the onslaught of terror.

[trancylovecraft]

(ORIGINAL WORK) BOOK PROLOGUE: First Draft.

RECEIPT ✂- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

!!(READ ↓↓↓)!!

Hey!!! So this not my usual work but instead this is actually the first draft for the prologue of my book (Of which, I will not be giving the name of right now) I'm posting it here so I could get some feedback!

If you could read and comment down your thoughts it would be a great help! This is kind of my first actual draft for anything suppose to be professional so.. I would appreciate it a lot if you could help!

Thank you so much, And have a good day <3

"And you know what happened to her? She died out in the alley. A black eye and a busted lip with an entire round of buckshot' right in her gut."

Mother spoke with a frown, Blowing out a gust of smoke from her lips as she shook her head.

"I warned her, You know, Told her that those old dens were nothing a girl like her should be frolicking about in. Look where it got her." She lamented as she shuffled the deck in her hand, Flicking the cigarette hanging from her drying lips.

Chance sat at the small circular table tucked away at the back of the old beat up trailer. Her eyes barely able to peak over the edge, Let alone rest her little hands on the cards splayed out across the table.

Cuts and scrapes had been dug into the wood, Only illuminated by the flickering light above them which buzzed at a steady pace. Chance didn't quite understand the words Mother was saying to her, Nor did she quite understand the game that they were meant to be playing.

"Keep your cards hidden, Chance." Mother hissed once Chance tried to take a peek, Making her quickly retract her hand with a small 'sorry!' "Don't apologise either. That's nothing you should be saying when you've got something to lose."

Chance's eyes wandered over the worn chips stacked up on the table. Mother had handed some out to her and kept some for herself. Despite their condition, They still remained colourful, A stark contrast to the dingy innards of a busted up trailer Chance had found herself in.

She raised a hand, Sliding off the cards on the table, Careful not to let Mother see this time. Chance examined them closely, Her nose scrunching up. A six, A two, A three and a Nine. All of them hearts.

Mother, She almost smiled. Looking across her daughters expression.

"Your father always had a hold at any Poker table he played at, You know. He could never leave it either, Didn't even flinch when another grand went down the drain." She blew out another cloud of smoke. "Lost more than he won, That man. Though he wasn't that unique at all.."

"..If grown-ups keep losing at a game.. Why do they keep playing anyways?" Chance asked softly. Pushing herself up in her chair as she grasped the playing cards in her little hands.

"I wonder how many people have asked themselves that, Wonder how many have lost just to try again." Mother pondered as she plucked the cigarette out of her mouth. "I bet some even try to put down the cards- Stop rolling the dice or whatever the hell they do.."

She set down her cards, Her charred nails scratching at the patterns and itching to reach some cocktail that was nowhere to be seen. Her eyes narrowed, Something akin to reminiscence as she spoke.

"But over and over and over again they'll keep coming back because of that little miniscule chance that they'll win big- That they might win it all." Mother scoffed under her rancid breath. "They never do, Mind you. Out of a thousand people only one will ever come out of the slot machines a happy man, And even then that's not enough to satisfy. It's why they let you go, The casinos, 'Cause they know you'll always come crawling back."

Chance listened on, Another one of Mother's ravings, One's she often got instead of nursery rhymes. Her expression turned a little sour, Retreating back into her oversized sweater as she saw Mother smile.

"Money, Money, Money.. It's the most important thing in the entire world." It wasn't a nice smile, Not by any means. "Not friendship, Not family, Not personal happiness or whatever some rich man tries to sell you. Money. No matter what anyone tells you.. Money will always be the most important priority in someone's life."

Chance tilted her head to the side, Thinking it over for a second.

"..I don't care about money." She concluded.

"Then you're a liar, A filthy liar. That's good. That shows potential." Mother concluded, Nodding as her fingers crept down to pick up her deck again.

A baby began to cry, Shrill little squeals bouncing off the walls of the little trailer.

"The third time this night.." Mother sighed quietly, Setting down the last of her cards on the table as Asher continued to cry and wail in the background. "Go put your brother back to sleep. You seem to be better at doing that than I am."

With that, Mother shook her head before flicking the cigarette onto the old wooden flooring of the trailer, Stamping it out under her Chelsea's as Chance quickly hopped off the old stool, Quickly running over to the makeshift cot in the other side of the trailer.

The cigarette sizzled out, Burning another mark onto the old spruce of the trailer. Chance tip-toed, Lifting the young baby from out his cot and rocking him back and forth.

Mother only watched, Huffing slightly. Already slipping out another packet from her cargo pockets.

[becauseplot]

it’s Stupid Hours (aka way too early in the morning) and after 0.2 seconds of searching on YouTube ive come to the conclusion that there is no qsmp John Mulaney “The One Thing” animatic yet and ive gotta say guys. im disappointed.(/lh) im so used to every fandom having at least one The One Thing animatic that realizing there isn’t one for qsmp is bonkers to me. i’ve watched so many of these over the years that if you played The One Thing audio, i could probably recite it in time w the audio (i won’t say from memory bc my memory is shit.)

anyway here’s what i would personally do for a The One Thing animatic if i could draw. remember that this is gonna be skewed to the POVs im more familiar with so im sorry if your cubito doesn’t make it into the role you’d expect. i tried to include as many people as possible.

Edit: "Back in high school..." - not really necessary, but i imagine this story/"AU" taking place during the egg disappearance, which would explain the overly chaotic behavior of the islanders. not that they ever need a reason to be chaotic.

Narrator - Charlie. he’s not on the server as often but bc of that he would make a good “outside” pov narrator. also he’s just a got a really quick-with-it type of humor, cracking jokes and puns and doing wordplay/inprov’d songs at the drop of a hat, and he also loves telling stories.

Mr. Macnimara - Cucurucho. “And Mr. Macnimara was an asshole.” need i say more?

Jake Macnimara - Jaiden. beloved bird of the Federation, though that absolutely would not stop her from throwing a wild party for her friends in their offices if she could. Edit: also Quackity would make a really good option here. Cringefail man that the Federation likes to toy with, we love to see it. Also with his shit luck it makes sense that a party that he decides to host at the Fed offices (a bad idea in the first place tbf) would blow up in his face so hard.

(Bonus: Mrs. Macnimara - the Duck. the Watcher. ElQuackity. idk who’s funnier just whoever your heart desires.)

“And we all got up individually and thought: okay, let’s go over there, and destroy the place.” - split screen of Cellbit, Baghera, Maxo, and Bad. there could be more, like Mike, Etoiles, Phil, Tubbo, really anyone who hates the Federation and/or has an affinity for chaos. Foolish would be a really fucking funny option for this one because yeah he works for the Feds but He Absolutely Would. all of the characters would get up calmly, and on the word “destroy” flip to a Chaos Mode Engaged expression (Cellbit with a grin and bloodstains on his cheeks, Baghera w flames behind her and in her eyes, etc etc)

“People were drinking like it was the civil war and a doctor was coming to saw our legs off” - Tubbo and his backpack of 3749588383 chainsaws. tazerraft could also be a good option considering Pac’s love of beheading people and Mike’s generally unhinged behavior. tbh just anyone/everyone in morning crew.

Person who breaks the pool table - Etoiles. someone would dare him to and he’d get so fucking excited he would absolutely HURL himself at that pool table. (dogboy behavior)

Person who takes a shit on the computer - … look ive been blankly staring at this one for like 7 fucking minutes. my heart says Aypierre but i could not tell you why. just. anyone who would absolutely do some rancid, unhinged shit when given the opportunity. Foolish again maybe. idk.

Edit: "Something something, police." - Jaiden, if she isn't Jake Macnimara. She would totally say it in a "LOL UH-OH" manner. If not, I could also imagine Missa, Bagi, or Fit nervously/bluntly trying to warn people while laughing.

“Fuck da police!” - “Fuck da Feds!”/“Fuck da Federation!” from what i can tell, Charlie doesn’t have an active animosity towards the Federation, but a lot of his friends do, and he will do anything, ANYTHING to commit to the bit. he will do ANYTHING for the funnies, and if he thinks that shouting “Fuck da Feds!” at the top of his lungs is going to get a reaction out of people, he absolutely will.

Edit: "'I served my nickel, you come and take me!' confidence." - Mike. I have such a strong mental image of Mike drunkenly shouting this while Pac and Fit hold him up/hold him back. Fuga references my beloved. Also the fact that he was put in a Fed freezer for a while.

The Police - the Federation workers. obviously. bonus points for one unnamed guard/officer being impressed like “wooooow :0” and then widening the shot to reveal an unamused Agent 18 standing next to them, leaning into his walkie talkie saying, “Get the paddy wagon.”

“SCATTER!” - Phil. (if you know you know.) generally, people who don’t know Phil tend to think he’s pretty chill, so no one would expect him to do something like that. also when Charlie says “And my friend John—” it would cut to a ‘pause screen’ over the scene, Charlie coming on screen to clarify the “father” and “baby” parts by providing helpful pop-up images of family pictures with Chayanne, Tallulah, and Missa on screen. Resumes, presses play and the screen clears: “He grabbed a 40…”

Edit: "Until, two years later..." - again, not really necessary, but it could be something like, "Until, after Purgatory..."

Alex (guy who stole the photos) - Roier. HEAR ME OUT. Roier, similar to Phil, is just such an unassuming guy. he’s cheery and laughs a lot and cracks jokes, but deep down, he’s smart and he’s got a burning HATRED for the Federation. he’s not the kind of guy to start fights, but with everyone else causing chaos at the party, breaking shit in the offices/house, he would absolutely take the opportunity to steal Federation documents for his husband’s investigations. (or antique photos, if you want to keep with the high school setting/theme.) i mean he stole a fucking lamp from their offices once just because there was so much shit going on and he knew the Feds probably wouldn’t notice (iirc).

Edit: SOMETHING I FORGOT TO MENTION ABOUT ROIER. you could totally make the line “because it’s the one thing you can’t replace” a reflection of Bobby, who the Federation ‘killed’, so now he’s getting back at them. (i’ve put way too much thought into this.)

anyway that’s all! feel free to contribute if u want i just really love The One Thing. it’s an older fandom meme but yeah it still checks out.

(the sheer number of edits to this thing really speaks to how much it lives in my head lmaooo. there's more details but im not gonna include them here bc they're too visual.)

[bearhyuck127]

Meet me in court

Mark lee x female!reader

Disclaimer- mentions of death and blood.

💭- Im so sorry this took to long. After my stuff got deleted I sort of procrastinated. I'll try my best to keep up for now on. Also I suck at coming up with names so don't mind the names I chose. Enjoy!

Chapter 3- strange

The lights.

The constant flashing of the lights blind me as I push through the crowds of people.

The microphones that are shoved in my face by the news reporters as people shout my name and ask me questions.

The trapped feeling as people close around me.

Please I think to myself, my hand start to shake as I shield my eyes from the constant flashes of the camera.

" Move give her some space! " I hear a voice say and a hand wrap around my wrist pulling me out of the crowd of chaos.

When the doors to the building close I finally take a deep breath and look up seeing Mr. Lee.

"Are you ok?" "God people are such idiots" he says sounding irritated.

"I'm fine" I say letting out a breath that I've been holding for a while.

"I'll make sure that you have some type of protection next time... I didn't think about the reporters they are always crazy when it comes to celebrities I'm sorry."

" Mr. Lee... I'm fine I promise.. let's just get today over with I want to prove my innocence and get back to work" I say and with that I walk Into the room.

As I walk to the desk at the front of the court room I sit down. Feeling someones gaze burning the side of my head I turn to look seeing Mrs. Kim. She had a mischievous glint in her eyes and an irritating smirk on her face.

People start to file in through the doors including the judge that walks onto the podium and takes a seat.

As Mr. Lee sits down Mrs. Kim speaks." Good luck today y/n you'll need it" she says before wiping any trace of malice off her face and putting on a look of grief and sorrow. One that screams poor pitiful me.

I turn towards Mr. Lee to notify him but the judge bangs his gavel in the round wooden piece causing the room to go silent.

" Good morning, this is the case of Mr. Jacob Kim and Mrs. Y/n. Case number 553 with attorney Mark Lee and attorney Jessica White . Attorney White you may step up." The judge says as he nods to Mrs. Kim's lawyer.

She walks up to the front of the room and hands a paper to the judge before turning around.

" Good morning everyone I am attorney White here to represent Mr. And Mrs. Kim." She says as she begins to walk around slowly.

"On the evening of Saturday January 6th the murder of Jacob Kim took place in the alley way next to Mrs.y/n's company building, he was found two days after the presumed killing. Mrs. Margaret a lady that works at the laundry mat right next to the ally way discovered Jacob Kim's body. Jacob Kim was stabbed multiple times in the abdomen and back. According to forensic reports we assume he was attacked from behind and dragged further into the ally way."

" I would like to start today's meeting with a testimony from Mrs. Margaret." She says as she turns and nods at someone. An older lady walks up to the witness stand.

" Good morning Mrs. Margaret" Mrs. White says with a warm smile. " Where were you the night of Jacob Kim's death?" She ask.

" I was at the shop. "

" How did you end up on the ally way that Jacob Kim was found in?"

" I was throwing out the trash before locking up like I usually do. That's when I smelled this rancid smell. I opened the trash can and that's when I saw that poor young man. "

" Did you hear any suspicious noise prioir to discovering his body?"

" I can't recall." She says and Mrs. White nods at the judge. "

Mr. lee do you have any questions for Mrs. Margaret?"

" Yes I do" he says as he stands up and adjusts his suit before walking to the witness stand.

" Mrs. Margaret.. do you happen to have any cameras around your shop?"

" I do but it's just in the front and around the store I have none facing the ally way. "

" I understand... Do you happen to know Mrs. Y/n?" He asks causing Mrs. White to protest .

" Objection your honor t-" she begins to say before being cut off by the judge.

" Please continue Mr. Lee" he says holding up a hand to Mrs. White.

Mr. Lee turns back to the old lady asking his questions again.

" Do you happen to know Mrs. Y/n?"

" I do... Her and her friends come into the shop every so often. Such a sweet girl " she says giving me a small smile.

" Did you know Jacob Kim?"

" I dont recall ever seeing him around... Though there are many people that come into my shop through out the day so there is a chance that he has visited sometime over the years." She says causing Mr. Lee to nod.

" Do you think Mrs. Y/n would have committed crime such as murder... Against Jacob Kim for that matter?"

" Oh heavens no I don't even think she would hurt a fly bless her soul."

" That's all I wanted to hear thank you for your time Mrs. Margaret." He says before turning around and sitting next to me again.

Mrs. White stands up again. " I would actually like to speak to Mrs. Y/n" she says before the judge speaks.

I look at Mr. Lee in confusion and he gives an encouraging nod.I walk to be witness stand taking deep breaths as I try to calm my nerves .

" How have you been Mrs. Y/n?" Mrs. White asks standing in front of the stand.

" Oh um.. I've been good I guess." I say hesitantly.

" I never got your side of the story.. where were you the night of Jacob Kim's death?" She asks leaning her head to the side in what seemed to be a taunting manner.

" I was with my members.. we have been practicing late for a while because of our comeback."

"Hmm... So you don't remember anything about this?" She asks no trace of remorse as she clicks a button on the remote control she had in her hand causing the TV that was in the side of the room to turn on.

My eyes widen and the room burst into gasp and whispers.

The overwhelming nausea that washes over me as I see several pictures of Jacob Kim.. blood all over his body. The stab wounds looked fresh as he laid in the trash can, all the color from his body gone as he remains a shade of light gray.

The sound of Mr. Lees angry voice and the ringing of the gavel hitting the round wooden surface rings through my ears as chaos unfolds.

" Mrs. White you know better than any of us that this type of evidence is not aloud with a room full of people! "

As she turns to walk towards Mrs. Kim I see a smirk plastered on her face.

I stare at my hands trying to focus on swallowing down the nausea that threatens to take over me.

" This meeting is dismissed" the judge says over all the chaos.

I feel a pair of arms wrap around me and a sudden burst of cold air.

The world around me stops spinning and I see Mr. Lee's worried eyes piercing through me.

" Are you ok? God she's such an idiot... She can get in a tremendous amount of trouble for this..." He begins to say but I zone out.

I watch as his jaw line tenses as he clenches his teeth in anger, the way his soft hair glided effortlessly between his fingers as he runs his hand through his hair. And I notice for the first time this morning what he was wearing. A black and white suit that contrasted well with his skin..

For the first time since Ive met Mark I found him....attractive..?

I snap back into reality when I feel his cold hand touch my shoulder .

"Are you sure your ok?" He asks concern coating his voice.

"I... I don't know * that was a lot to take in.." I say softly as I look away. The sound of the ducks quacking as they swim in the river under the bridge we stood on.

" Y/n... You know you can talk to me right?" He asks trying to catch my eyes.

"I know Mr. Lee " I say hesitantly.

" Please... " He says standing closer to me his hand finding a place in the small of my back.

"When we aren't in court call me Mark "

[2uuno]

like okay sorry for posting discourse but i just saw a rancid take. you guys know that therapy does in fact sometimes help people, right? like it's definitely not for everyone, but it is for some people.

[pwnyta]

From someone who knows basically nothing about Baldurs Gate......

Imma give my UNSOLICITED OPINIONS.

Karlach is the most consistent with her style. She looks great in everything. Shes also the hottest overall (no pun intended). Her personality is one of the cutest and the fact she doesnt seem to get that good of an ending is UH... CRIMINAL.

Best ship- ...//covers face and mumbles... I really like her relationship with the player... this is so unfortunate... but its so cute. I love her. (I know theres a couple endings where you can kill her. Those dont exist or Im calling the cops.)

Base model MEH, Camp model VERY cute, Panties.... ITS A CHOICE BUT ONE I BUY THAT HE'D MAKE FROM WHAT I KNOW ABOUT HIM. Also I dont believe for a MINUTE this man got a six pack why are you lying directly to my face... He reminds me of Dr Frank, I love his voice, I would never be able to deny him anything because hes really funny and I just wanna see him go crazy.

Best ship- Astarion/Wyll... I just saw a video of Star being SO into Wyll it was hilarious. 'Honestly that MAN~' Someone get him a Thirst-aid kit.

The sheer driplessness of this man needs to be studied by SCIENTISTS. But his panties are pretty cute. I do like his face/hair... but the man cant dress himself. ...Look on paper Gale is everything. His sweetness and earnestness is very charming but GOD... hes so cringe sometimes. GOOFY FUCK.

Best ship- ... Probably Wyll? I mean you can just slot Wyll in anywhere cuz hes so charming and he and Gale are such cornballs itd be insufferable.

Laezel takes second place right behind my bbg Karlach. Her base model is a little weird looking the metal looks weird but it still looks pretty cool. Her camp model is super hot, I never would have expected those panties TBH... why dont the men get fun panties. This is a crime. Anyways 9/10 Zel! Congrats. IDK if I like her or the memes with her. her VA did that ducks in a row video and its so funny and I cant ever be mad at her no matter what she wanted to do.

Best ship- .....I mean aesthetically Karlach? For shallow reasons... idk what their relationship is like.

...Look I know shes super popular but.... Look her camp model is pretty great but Her hair is hideous. I can get over Gales absolute driplessness cus hes still handsome... what is this hair... GIRL. The panties are a choice too... but after Karlach and Zel she really had little chance. Least theyre better than the guys.

Best ship- //shrugs I have no attachment to this woman LMAO

Base model? Kinda boring but not terrible. Camp model? One of the best... the cute little peekaboo belly. I hope someone bites him. BUT THE PANTIES??? Girl. Youre lucky youre so handsome. The horns and crazy eyes elevate him... just putting that out there. Like Gale... on paper Wyll is so perfect but HES SO EMBARRASSINGLY EARNEST. The problem is probably just the style of the game... if it was less uncanny realism and more stylized maybe I wouldnt be as cringed out LMAO. Youre so damn cute Wyll... Im sorry.

Best ship- Astarion is funny but hes such a menace... I think Wyll deserves better. HALSIN/Wyll.

Halsin somehow does the earnest lover thing way better than Gale or Wyll... but hes almost as bad as Gale when it comes to dressing himself. Who let this man dress himself? Hes hot though. It makes up for it. I cant believe BG3 let this beefy elf exist... Im so used to young looking scrawny pasty elves (eyes emoji).

Best ship- Like Wyll you can just put him anywhere.... but WYLL. Theyd just be so cute. Halsin could definitely dull the sheer earnestness to tolerable levels probably.

This lady I know almost nothing about except shes kinda rancid.... but at least shes kinda hot and also can dress decently.

Best ship- ...//shrugs

The fact shes not romanceable makes BG unplayable. Her face and hair is gorgeous, her clothes get a MEH from me... maybe if the colors were more muted?

Best ship- ...//shrugs

Hes fine.

Best ship- ...//shrugs

?

I know the Emperor has some part in this too... and hes hot. So...

Overall-

The difference between S tier and A tier.. isnt that different. I really like those 3 freaks.

At first Wyll & Halsin were these too but... they grew on me & I cant blame them for their faults. Its not Halsins fault you can traumatize a squirrel... its not Wylls fault the realistic style combined with his cheesy romantic bullshit embarrasses me...

I couldnt even get through Dream Daddys.... and I love that game.

I can forgive Wyll.

[barkhoffman]

Hello user barkhoffman will you be updating slap anytime soon I miss you

thanks for the well-wishes from you and the others in my ask box!

so, to be honest, I've still been really demoralized about this fandom in general. I love the movies still, don't get me wrong! nothing can take away my, like, 20-year-strong horror movie love. the fandom, though...

I'll be real. in the month or two I was active in this fandom, I saw SO much ridiculous drama (and am still on the periphery of it even now) that it put a taste in my mouth that it is not polite to try and describe, that's how rancid it is. all the "big names" are involved in so much juvenile, petty bullshit (despite major players being in their 20s-30s, if not older), that it just makes me not want to engage at all, lest I be swept up in some shit calling me transphobic or fatphobic or a ~proshipper~ (wooooo SCARY!!!! scarier than watching a guy's eyeballs get vacuumed out, right?) or whatever

maybe if people ever stop going at each other's throats for the stupidest "drama" known to mankind and certain people cool it with their petty hate campaigns, I'll be able to fall back in love with things enough to have my drive for SLAP and my other fics come back. now, though, I'm really enjoying writing for a different fandom that knows how to behave.

I know this sucks for everyone who genuinely didn't get involved in any of that bullshit! I really hate that you guys are basically being punished for other people's inability to act like reasonable human beings. but I can't force blood from a stone, and unfortunately, I can't find it in me to be passionate about something when I know it might just get me wrapped up in some bullshit feud instead of letting me relax, which is the whole point of fandom!

feel free to follow me to other fandoms if you'd like, it's honestly not hard to find out where I am now (BarkHoffman is just a pseud and not a username, after all). unless you're gonna follow me to harass me, of course, in which case fuck off lmao. but as for Saw, I don't think I have it in me just yet, sorry!

much love to everyone who's continued to give me your kind words and support! <3 hopefully I'll feel up to it to return someday, whenever that may be!