#soren : aliens

[thermodynamic-comedian]

me when the character has a uniquely fucked mindset. me when the character's fundamental views of how the world works lead to them being hurt and/or hurting others and not seeing the problem with this. me when the character is a little freak who does weird shit because their beliefs, inspired entirely by their environment, are fuckeddddd

[macaroniandpheez]

some stuff I’ve been working on….

[lilyinwaiting]

Entering a pirate arc in the campaign >:)

[carmenpeach]

Kitty and Blade for @macabrity <3

[theoreticallysensible]

Okay so my first post is going to be about the link between capitalism and existential angst, which is the most on brand thing possible for me, so if you like this there’ll be much more of it and if not… sorry. 😅

I’ve always had a proclivity for angsty existentialism. Multiple times a housemate has found me sprawled on a sofa moping about the meaning of life which sounds really pretentious but idk I feel like on some level that’s just being a student. And it’s that material side of it that’s got me curious recently like - were these anxieties just a result of the kind of individualistic, listless existence a student inhabits? There’s probably a reason the stereotypes of angst are people with enough wealth to avoid work but not enough respect or expectations to have a solid idea about what they should be doing: Percy Shelley, Lord Byron, Søren Kierkegaard, etc.

In the first volume of his Critique of Everyday Life, Henri Lefebvre calls out Kierkegaard specifically as a prime example of bourgeoise alienation, the result of which was literally creating existentialist philosophy - the idea that we have to create meaning for ourselves by force of will and taking a leap of faith. Lefebvre claims that existential angst is always a result of some sort of alienation. When Marx formulated alienation as the psychological suffering we experience when we are separation from ourselves, each other, the products of our labour, and nature, he was thinking about the way the working class are made to suffer under capitalism, but Lefebvre expands the theory beyond this. He describes how alienation is always relative and present in all types of society for all people within it. Alienation is not just a result of individualism and exploitation - it also presents itself when we feel too far from someone we love, and when we are mystified by the natural world. Crucially, we are alienated when we become detached from the fact that we are dependent on others for our survival, something common to all the bourgeoisie.

Acknowledging this dependency would make us aware of the injustice of how these responsibilities are distributed (according to class, gender, race, etc.), and getting past the separation would require a radical change in lifestyle involving the rejection of the serving of the individual self so integral to bourgeoise morality. It’s hard! But with the lines between proletariat and bourgeoisie becoming more and more blurred with the expansion of the middle class, recognising this particularly bourgeoise suffering is important, I think, if we want to articulate a reason more people can get behind to resist capitalism.

People suffer when they’re separated from people, when their material existence feels so isolated and insignificant that they have to rely on spirituality to give them any sense of grounding, but are unable to be confident in their beliefs so can only ever relate to religion through anxiety (both my best friends speak of religion in this way, and before I read Lefebvre I was tempted to join them because it sounded better than the nihilism I was struggling with). Seriously, read any Kierkegaard and you will know he was not a happy guy. He wrote book called The Concept of Anxiety, and Fear and Trembling for God’s sake. He’s not okay! 🥺 But poor Søren might have been okay if he’d been a bit less self obsessed, acknowledged the value of *inter*subjectivity rather than pure responsibility, and actually married his fianceé rather than worrying about his independent morality, which was really just arrogance. I sound mean but I love him really. He’s very entertaining and *painfully* relatable.

But this is why I find Simone de Beauvoir to be the absolute best of the existentialist canon, because she recognises the need for recognition and connection, even for the powerful. In The Ethics of Ambiguity, she writes about how even tyrants suffer in hierarchical societies because they can never know authentic respect, since people always see their power and the threat implicit in it rather than their whole humanity. This doesn’t mean that we should never violently resist tyranny, because individualism is hard to overcome, even when it’s self-sabotaging, but awareness of this could get more people on the side of equality. This idea is apparently supported empirically in The Spirit Level, by Richard Wilkinson and Kate Pickett, but I haven’t read that one yet. I like to put it in Spinozist terms: the satisfaction of one desire can be excessive when it blinds us to our other needs and presents us from feeling other forms of joy.

On how it can be overcome though, I think Judith Butler offers an interesting frame for thinking about it. Though they’re best known for their work on the social construction of gender, my favourite book of theirs is Giving An Account of Oneself, where they write about how our mental life is a product of all our previous experiences, especially with other people. This seems obvious on some level, but it really undermines individualism. In particular, it deconstructs the distinction between attacking parts of yourself and attacking other people. If our internal and external lives are so interlinked, is it really surprising if attacking ourselves isolates us? Recognising that other people are in some sense present within us is conducive to greater intimacy, and though this can be uncomfortable if we dislike part of them, that doesn’t make it less true, and recognising this can make us more compassionate with everything within us. Self-hatred and hatred of others are intimately connected, and they reinforce each other.

I like to think of the relationship between different parts of myself in terms of Deleuze and Guattari’s machinic unconscious, where our minds are made up of interlocking parts from the larger social context. I think differ though in wanting to negotiate and find equilibrium between them rather than experimenting by letting certain parts go to extremes to make change though. I like the way Jacques Derrida writes about it in The Politics of Friendship, where to recognise the other in oneself, and so recognise the misalignment within ourselves, requires us to be a friend to oneself, which makes friendship so central that it undercuts any potential narcissism because by loving oneself as an other we learn to love others better (as well ourselves).

This doesn’t address the concrete politics of the situation though. The aspect missing is that we have to think of ourselves as inextricably linked to our social and political systems, part of a historical process, and our feelings about those systems are a very real part of that process, and if we want to be true to ourselves we have to act on those feelings rather than repress them. I’m still working out what that means for myself, and as Lefebvre notes it’s this final hurdle that most people fail at, but we can all try.

That kind of went all over the place, but hopefully it’s understandable and valuable, and if not it was helpful for me to articulate all these ideas that have been swirling around in my head for the past year or so. 😅

[coopbella]

oc-tober day 27: fears! as a skeleton cursed with forever undeath, soren has had a lot of chances to "outlive" the people he loves. it's left him cold and distant in an attempt to stop himself from getting attached to people that he knows he will someday lose. he's stopped letting himself get close to anyone. but vera no longer ages. as an alien, her species can theoretically live forever. she's soren's one chance to finally let himself get to know someone... and he's felt himself fall deeply in love with her. but even if she won't age, vera can still die. and so far, soren's been too scared of that possibility to make a move. he's not ready to find out how to love again. he's not ready to accept the possibility of loss. yet.

[carzstarz]

kitty the praetorian xenomorph and her gf blade the yautja <3

[dorothygale]

one time my bff texted me "who is gorn" out of the blue and i was like… idk if there's some other context but it's an obscure-slash-fan-favorite star trek species?? and she was like ok and then on my birthday she gave me a gorn funko pop she'd seen in a store (it said star trek but she didn't know what it was and she assumed gorn was its name)

[hulloitsdani]

What do u think Kiran is

How do u think the order sees kiran

*slowly sits up in my chair*

I think Kiran is a very normal person. This is someone you and I have met before. Be that from the other side of grocery store cashier, waiting in the same elevator, or walking by on a crosswalk. Kiran is a civilian from our world trying to roll with the punches of being warped somewhere completely alien. And you can see it in how they conduct themselves.

I always have a lot of fun writing Kiran’s dialogue because their casual modern speech almost feels like a dialect in comparison to the more formal fantasy tone everyone else speaks with. An “ain’t” will never exit Alfonse’s mouth, you know? And there’s a difference in “Do you have gold?” vs “You got gold?” To me, this gives Kiran an air of unfamiliarity to anyone they interact with. Let’s use Grima as an example, because it doesn’t sound like this grammatical change would make much of difference until Kiran has the audacity to hit Grima with a bro mid sentence. But that’s just how they talk. And as sweet and friendly as they are, there’s always moments like that to remind that no one has the cultural context to fully understand Kiran. Except for the audience, who can realize that Kiran let the customer service voice drop to talk to Grima like he’s an actual person.

And that’s just about how they talk! This view is only emphasized by every other thing about them! They’re a lovable goof, which is normal chill person behavior in the audience’s eyes but feels REALLY ODD to the characters of FE’s medieval fantasy war setting. There is this air of unknown about them that the more socially perceptive will pick up on and will try to come to a conclusion about. Example, I imagine Soren would interpret a lot of this as a dangerous and deeply annoying lack of intelligence from someone he has the displeasure of sharing a tactics table with. Or looping back to the Grima example, he would totally think Kiran has greedy ulterior motives behind that pleasant facade. It takes a lot of work for those types to realize that the discrepancy present isn’t really any of those things. But I also wouldn’t be too surprised if Kiran doesn’t try to directly prove any of those assumptions wrong unless they have to.

Why? Well now it’s time for the implications! Oh how we love the implications.

Because the Summoner is a different story. No one has any fucking clue what that is.

I can tell you what Kiran has pieced together so far. Summoning people from across time and space is apparently not easy. It’s not some school of magical study that some mage could pull off with enough time and research. Trust, Eitri tried. It’s a lot of complex moving parts. For example, the contracts. The contracts Kiran automatically binds their summoned to don’t even compare to the ones Veronica used in book 1. They are far more intense and infinitely harder to break. The only way out of them is if Kiran wills it so. Not even death is an option, because Kiran can come in for the revive. If they had to guess, it’s an older, more completed version of the art. Something lost to time. But no matter the case, Kiran has the ability to take full control of whoever they manage to summon. From a lowly farmer to the divine. And their power only grows.

In a similar vein, if there was any character to canonically see the hud, I think it would be Kiran. It’s genuinely part of their power set. I have previously described Kiran as the party mage until Veronica shows up to be the actual mage, but it would be way more accurate to call them a mystic/seer. They see the map, everyone’s stats, and is doing a fast amount of math to give the combat forecast. Then, upon processing all this information their enemies couldn’t dream of having at their disposal, Kiran can telepathically communicate any change in plans to anyone under contract. Kiran is not inherently some great tactician the moment they touch ground in Askr; they simply can do things no one else can. They’re learning the actual tactics part on the fly. This makes them simultaneously the largest ace up the Order’s sleeve and potentially its biggest liability. If they fall, it could cause a whole system cascade. By that same token, some of the biggest threats the Order has faced are the ones who do their research and rightfully target Kiran.

Now. Thinking critically about all that. That’s downright terrifying. A ridiculous amount of power has been dropped callously into Kiran’s lap and they have to work extremely hard to be moral with it. It’s terrifyingly easy not to be. It would actively take less effort to ‘take the reins’ as it were. But in order to be able to sleep at night ever again, they go the extra mile to not invalidate the will of their summoned. To take over like that. To make a colony of worker bees out of people. Because oh dear god they just summoned a child and the fact that they could easily force them to fight and die for them, only to be revived and do it all over again, is HAUNTING. No. No the Order has an in house orphanage now. This kid is getting adopted and cared for god damnit or Kiran might just pop a blood vessel. And sure that child is going to be a child and there will never be a world where they get along with everyone else, but that’s just going to need be a problem they address when they get there and not an excuse to use Hubris; the power set. Now replace the word child with everyone they ever summoned and you have the wider philosophy they apply to the entire Order.

They’re hyper aware of the power imbalance. They hate it with every bone in their body. They work really hard to correct it in whatever way they can.

So Kiran might not jump on the opportunity to correct those who think lesser of them. It’s… oddly comforting to know someone is keeping a critical eye on them. Holding them accountable. Especially since so much of the order just thinks of them as this quirky yet well meaning host. And, really, what can they even do about that? They have gone over the contract with every hero they summon and despite that they still choose to stay. So, what, do they try to inspire more mistrust? The problem with that they would have to actually do acts that intentionally inspire mistrust. And even if that was successful they can’t just waste the extra man power because every other month there’s some new divine asshole who wants them all dead. And if they fail that means they have to start their life from square one and god they can’t do that again so—

Just breathe Kiran.

It’s fine. You’re fine. Just breathe.

You have work to do.

[macaroniandpheez]

[quailfence]

[Image description: tumblr tags that read “#and then she proceeded to infodump about star trek for the next 15 minutes #probably the funniest reaction i've ever gotten to coming out #runner up is that time in high school i came out to a friend who was a couple years younger than me and v sheltered #and i told him he could ask any questions about being trans that he wanted to #and he asked "what would my trans name be?" and to this day i have no clue what the fuck that was supposed to mean #he ended up being one of the best allies i ever met who helped me manage my dysphoria without outing me #and in some ways supported me better than even fellow trans people #but it was just such a funny reaction #oh also that old lady had shaved her head and wore all masculine clothes and went by an androgynous name different than her birth name #and i almost expected her to compare my experiences to her but nope. star trek. iconic”. End description.]

@a-captions-blog @startrekdescribed

no more characters who are nonbinary just because their species doesnt have gender. more characters that species dont have gender but still read up on human gender theory and realized they were still not into this shit

[ynit-a]

𝐎𝐑𝐏𝐇𝐈𝐂 𝟏𝟎 | jkk

orphic | jkk x m!oc

𝟏𝟎 | 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐔𝐋𝐔𝐒

“With what conviction do I become my own bully?��

Yuuji sat beside his grandfather's hospital bed, dim light filtering through the blinds. The air in the room was heavy, as if every word his grandfather said was a final sentence, a farewell that Yuuji didn't want to hear, but knew he had to accept. The old man, his face lined with wrinkles and dull eyes, spoke in whispers, almost on the verge of being lost in the wind blowing outside.

—Yuuji... always help people... do the right thing...— he said, his words trailing out of his mouth, as if each one was a titanic effort.

Yuuji clenched his fists in his lap, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over. He knew this moment would come. His grandfather had been sick for a long time, but nothing had prepared him for the empty feeling that hit him when his breathing finally stopped. Yuuji bowed his head, allowing himself a moment to say goodbye, but his mind was already beginning to slip into the uncertainty of the future. What would he do now? What did it mean to "do the right thing" in a world that suddenly felt so big, so alien?

After a few minutes, the orderlies entered the room to take the body away, and Yuuji, suddenly feeling alone in a world filled with noise, walked out of the hospital. The cool evening breeze whipped across his face, but it failed to clear the weight on his chest. As he walked, the last conversation with his grandfather kept replaying in his head.

As he was lost in thought filling out paperwork, he was abruptly interrupted by a voice.

—Itadori Yuuji?—The voice was firm, but not aggressive.

Yuuji turned to find himself facing a dark-haired boy, his gaze stern and focused. He didn't know him, but something about his presence made him feel like the conversation he was about to have would change his life in some way.

—I'm looking for a cursed object, something that, if not recovered soon, could cause a lot of harm. Do you know anything about it?

Yuuji looked at him perplexed, shaking his head, he had no idea what he was referring to, cursed object? Seeing his confusion, Fushiguro showed him a picture of the object on his cell phone, and something in his head began to connect the dots. The object... the one we found at school..., he immediately thought. The small box with the strange contents that he and his friends had discovered days ago, and that was now in the hands of his classmates.

Before he could answer, Megumi took a step towards him, her eyes shining with urgency—The object you found is a dangerous one, classified as special grade, give it to me before people start dying

The pink-haired boy quickly took out the box and passed it to the boy—I don't have much to do with it, but I can't say the same about my senpais.

The black-haired man opened the box... It's empty?! Fushiguro's face changed from one of frustration to one of concern in seconds. —Where is the content?!

—I told you, my senpais have it—Itadori frowned, trying to remember more—I think they mentioned something about removing the seal on that at school tonight

—Your friends will die if we don't go now.

Yuuji, sensing the tension in the boy's voice, didn't hesitate. He nodded and they both started running in the direction of the school. Without saying a word, Yuuji already knew that something much bigger than himself was happening.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Soren sat in his small bedroom, surrounded by old books and crumpled notes that Gojo had left on the history of jujutsu. His fingers drummed impatiently on the desk, while his eyes moved without real focus across the pages. The information was dense, filled with terms and explanations that seemed more convoluted than they should be. "History of jujutsu," he thought with a sigh. "To have worked so hard in high school just to come here and study this... What a joke."

Despite his frustration, Soren knew he had to try. He had decided not to give up, not now that he had entered the academy. And although Gojo had taken it upon himself to remind him to take jujutsu history classes with the first years, something that bothered him deeply, he could not ignore the importance of understanding the cursed energy that eluded him so much.

"How can I use it?" he constantly asked himself. "How can I manifest it?" So far, the only time he had felt anything resembling cursed energy had been in the hospital, when his mother was unconscious. He had seen those dark, vibrating threads flow through his mind, as if something was trying to get out from within him. But after that, everything had shut down again, leaving him in a state of helplessness.

He stood up from his chair and began pacing around the room, trying to concentrate. Gojo had said that he shouldn't force the cursed energy, that he had to let it flow naturally. But how was he supposed to do that if he had never felt anything real inside himself? Every time he tried, all he got was more frustration and doubt.

—This is a waste of time,— he muttered to himself, as a current of irritation began to build up in his chest. He had spent weeks trying to feel something, anything, and all he got in return was the familiar emptiness that had plagued him from the beginning. However, there was something different today. A palpable tension in the air, something that made him feel like he was on the verge of a breakthrough, or perhaps a breakdown.

Soren stood in front of the window, looking out at the school grounds illuminated by the dim light of dusk. Even though magi weren't a very large population, Gojo's words, there were a few students at the school, Soren saw some practicing with their cursed energy fluidly on the grounds in the distance. A pang of jealousy shot through him. Why did everyone seem to handle it so easily, while he remained stuck?

Unconsciously, his emotions began to intensify. Frustration, anger, fear... it all began to build up inside him, and with it, something else. A familiar yet unsettling feeling. Like an internal pressure, an energy stirring deep within him.

Soren closed his eyes, trying to focus. This time, he wouldn't try to force it. He would let those feelings build, let them guide him. He focused on the pain he felt for his mother, on the uncertainty about his future, on the anger that consumed him at not being able to control his own power. He felt that energy begin to move, slowly at first, as if awakening from a long slumber.

Suddenly, his mind flashed back to that moment in the hospital. The dark, snaking threads reappearing in his inner vision. This time, he didn't just see them; he could feel them. They were there, waiting to be released. But he couldn't do it with concentration alone. He needed more... something or someone to push him over the edge.

Images of those ancient sorcerers began to flash through his mind. He remembered reading about them in books. One in particular had caught his eye: a powerful sorcerer who had become the king of curses, Ryomen Sukuna. Sukuna's description had disturbed him, but also fascinated him. How could someone accumulate so much cursed power? Could he ever achieve something similar?

His thoughts began to darken, and the cursed energy within him stirred more strongly. "How far am I willing to go?" he asked himself, as the pressure within him grew. He could feel the cursed threads moving, tightening as if ready to be unleashed.

A strange chill ran down his spine, and suddenly, something seemed to answer him from the shadows of his mind. It wasn't a voice, but a presence. Something dark, ancient, full of power. The threads of cursed energy inside him began to move faster, tangling with each other, preparing for something he didn't quite understand yet.

Soren clenched his fists, feeling the cursed energy begin to push towards the surface. But just as he was about to reach something, the feeling faded. The emptiness settled back into his chest, leaving him panting and sweaty, but without any real manifestation.

—Damn it,— he whispered through his teeth, punching the wall in frustration. He knew he was close, but he needed something more. More power, more control, or perhaps... more desperation.

As he caught his breath, Soren couldn't help but think about what he had felt. It wasn't just his cursed energy. There was something else, something that seemed ancient and had tried to connect with him. Maybe that was the push he needed, something bigger and darker than himself. But he still didn't know how to reach it, or if he really should.

—Tomorrow is another day— he told himself— But I'm not giving up.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Meanwhile, at Yuuji's high school, things were quickly getting worse. Yuuji and Megumi had arrived at the building, only to be met with a dark presence emanating from the cursed object. Yuuji's friends, the ones who had unearthed the box, were trapped inside, surrounded by grotesque creatures that looked like something out of a nightmare.

Megumi gave Yuuji a serious look. —Stay here,— Yuuji immediately disagrees, causing Megumi to extend an arm to stop him. —If it's something I can't fully control, I'll call for reinforcements, but you, stay here.— Yuuji looked at where the black-haired man had left with his heart in his throat. He knew he had to do something, but he had no idea how to face something so terrifying. How am I supposed to save them? He thought desperately.

Megumi didn't waste any time. With a quick movement of his hands, he summoned his shikigamis, two dark wolves that pounced on the cursed creatures, fighting them fiercely.

What am I waiting for? The pink-haired man thought as he ran through the halls in search of his friends or the black-haired man who never changed his frown. Don't be like me, and Yuuji was going to listen to him. Visualizing the black-haired man in front of a deformed monster, Itadori jumped into action, connecting a blow with the monster, it was there that he realized that it was holding his friends from the occult club.

—I thought my grandmother's death was the right one, but... this kind of death is wrong— Yuuji said as he gave her another blow, Is this a curse? I thought they were going to be different.

Megumi dedicated herself to observing, finally deciding to reproach him for his irrational decisions.

—What is that thing that is eating the body? —he asked, Megumi turned her head

—They are my shikigami, can you see them? —he asked a touch surprised, since seeing how the boy with no experience had beaten the curse— normally people can't see them, only when they are almost on the verge of death or in situations like this.

—Really? I've never seen a ghost

Discussing the issues, the cursed object, a finger, slipped out of the pocket of one of the pink-haired boy's friends.

—Is this what you were looking for?

—Yes. Special grade object, Ryomen Sukuna. It's a miracle he didn't eat it— Yuuji made a gesture similar to disgust, who the hell would eat a finger?

Trying to get out of the place, both teens failed to see the curse that was stalking them from the top of the roof. The curse lunged at them, and the fight began again. Megumi was starting to falter. Despite his efforts, the creatures seemed unfazed, and the situation was becoming more and more desperate. Yuuji, not knowing what else to do, ran towards the cursed object that was lying on the ground, pulsing with a dark and dangerous energy.

Megumi was trying to stop the pink-haired boy from doing something irrational again, and the curse took advantage of the mini moment of distraction to throw him into the air; the black-haired boy's body collided with the wall, blood quickly running down his forehead.

The curse, seeing the finger between Yuuji's, went over him, holding him. Itadori flicked his finger into the air

—Isn't that a way to save people? I just need cursed energy, right?! Right Fushiguro?!

—Don't do it!— Megumi shouted, but it was too late.

In an act of desperation, Yuuji thoughtlessly swallowed it.

What happened next was a whirlwind of chaos. Yuuji's body shook violently as a dark energy invaded him, and a macabre laugh echoed in his mind. Sukuna, the king of curses, had awakened, and his presence was overwhelming.

Megumi stepped back, stunned, as the cursed aura around Yuuji intensified. The boy raised his head, and Sukuna's red eyes shone with indescribable malice.

—Is the flesh of a cursed spirit so boring? Where are the children? The women?— This is really a wonderful era, women and children walking around like maggots... This is going to be a massacre!

But the little malevolent intervention was interrupted when the pink-haired man grabbed his own chin in a strong way, the confusion on his face was evident. How the hell can he keep moving even though he is in control of the body?

Megumi watched him with a frown, ready for anything from the curse. Itadori regained control of his body —Don't move!— Yuuji looked at the black-haired man in surprise, approaching worried about the amount of blood on him—Don't move, you are no longer human... And according to the law of sorcery, Yuuji Itadori, I must exorcize you!

—Huh?!—the pink-haired man raised his hands in panic, and with a nervous smile he said— wait, wait! There is nothing wrong with me, you are the one who is all beaten up and badly injured, we have to hurry to the hospital.

But just when things seemed out of control, a tall, carefree figure appeared in the hallway.

—Wow, looks like I got here just in time,— Gojo said, smiling calmly as he assessed the situation.

—Sensei...— Megumi focused her gaze on the newcomer. —...what are you doing here?

—Man, I wasn't going to come but...— letting out a laugh, the white-haired man approached Megumi, his cell phone held high.—...But you look beat up, Megumi, I have to show it to the second years.— Gojo quickly began taking photos from various angles, the flash shielding Megumi no matter how hard he tried to cover himself. When he was satisfied with the sick amount of photos he took, the man straightened up.

—I just happened to be here sightseeing. Well? Did you find it?— Megumi looked away, avoiding eye contact as she thought of what to say; Yuuji finally stepped forward as he raised his hand with some uncertainty.

—I'm sorry but... I ate it.

Silence.

A silence that was invaded by a laugh of disbelief from the white-haired boy, approaching the boy, he analyzed his face with a serious expression. Letting out another laugh, he walked backwards.

—Wow, he combined with you, how crazy!—Gojo looked at him again—Do you feel something strange?— the pink-haired boy shook his head, trying to perceive something out of the ordinary with his body, but nothing seemed to alert him—Can you change with Sukuna?... the curse that you just ate.

Yuuji nodded, shooting a glance from the corner of his eye at Megumi, concern on the latter's face.

—Just give me ten seconds, and don't worry...—Gojo proceeded to stretch a little, his long limbs releasing almost indescribable creaking sounds—...after all, I am the strongest.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Soren was preparing to end his study session, why the fuck do I want to know about the lord with too many wives to be able to have a near-perfect bloodline? Sick bastards. Soren thought as he walked to the bed.

But before he even touched the sheets, he felt an immediate disturbance; as if a shockwave of cursed energy had been unleashed in the air. Soren, who was just beginning to understand his own cursed energy, found himself overwhelmed by the suffocating presence that was in the air.

His chest tightened causing him to fall to his knees holding his head, he felt his head throbbing, as if something dark and ancient was trying to well up from within. The pressure he had felt before, as he tried to manifest his power, intensified, but this time it's different. The cursed energy within him was moving violently, resonating with something. It's as if something inside him recognized that immense darkness that was drowning him.

His vision darkened for an instant, Soren was panting as he let his body fall forward, his eyes closed tightly, while his arms held his head, his forehead hitting the ground.

He knew that what he was feeling wasn't just the power of his cursed technique, and maybe it wasn't the presence that was staining the air; it's something deeper, something that has always been latent in him. And now, more than ever, he feels like he's on the verge of a transformation, one that could consume him or, perhaps, finally set him free.

And with that, Soren passed out.

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This story with more graphics is on wattpad, go check it out if you want!

Wattpad: ynit_a

[ceoofvillainmc]

A deep dive into Xavier's mentality. It's kind of free form idk if you can call it a drabble or what but I was feeling inspired after his branch so accept this word vomit ❤️

Contains spoilers!!!!!!!

Xavier has always carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.

First as Prince of Philos, then as it's sole saviour, branded as a traitor and lost to the stars.

As captain of the backtrackers it was him who bore the weight of his team members. Their hopes, their determination, their lives.

And it was him who bore their resentment when they realised their mission had failed, that they were never going home, that they were trapped on an alien planet with nothing but secrets for company.

That much is evident with Soren. Xavier bore it all. It was his fault, his failure, his responsibility.

I think that's why he personally hunted down his team members when they turned. It was least he could do, as their captain. They wouldn't have become like that if it weren't for him. He brought them here on his mission. It was his fault, his failure, his responsibility.

Xavier never wanted his burdens. He hated them all. He longed for freedom, for monotony. He was so, so tired.

I think that's why he hates Lumiere so much. Besides the jealousy, the obvious secret of his identity, he recoils at every mention of the legend, steers clear as if it burns him.

He never wanted to be Lumiere but I think guilt drove him to become him. Xavier just wanted peace but he couldn't let the people of Earth suffer knowing full and well he was capable to stop it. The identity of Lumiere was born bitterly and in reluctance. Xavier never wanted to be a hero, he wanted to be Xavier, just Xavier.

But it was his fault, his failure, his responsibility.

Besides, he has something to protect.

I think his obsession, his reverence, his protectiveness of MC is out of love, but over time I think there's something else. Something he doesn't want to acknowledge.

Throughout all of his burdens, from his days as Prince, MC was his sanctuary. Curious and compassionate, bold and bright. Infuriatingly reckless, but he didn't hate it either. It took someone reckless to steal a Prince from under the noses of his entourage, just because he looked like he needed it.

With her, he could be Xavier, just Xavier. And after all those years, he needs her, his guiding starlight. He would've fallen apart long ago under the weight of it all without her. I think part of the reason he's so desperate to not lose her is because he's scared of what he'll become without her. With no home, no mission, no team, no hope, she's all he has left.

He loves her so much but doesn't feel worthy of her. Not after all he's done, all his secrets. He doesn't want to weigh her down. I think it's similar to why he's so short with Jeremiah, despite him being his last and oldest friend. Jeremiah should hate him. Xavier doesn't know why he doesn't. After all, it's his fault, his failure, his responsibility.

How many decades has he spent feeling like this? How many times has he repeated those words?

Sometimes, on his worst days, when he's all but swallowed whole by the bodies in his wake, the secrets he keeps and the endless abyss of time, he feels his father's hand on his shoulder. He's long since forgotten his face, but he can never, will never forget his voice.

An encouraging squeeze to his shoulder, as he speaks in Xavier's ear. Not proud, never proud, but smug.

"You would've made a great King."

[eclipian]

Alien Stage Subsystem

pt: alien stage subsystem

reminder beings will almost definitely not turn out exactly as described, and these can be edited and changed as needed. number of members: 5

divider credit + divider credit

" … My god … My universe ... "

System Name: [prn] of the Stage , Alien Preformers , [prn] who Sang , Space Concert

Collec. Name: Trill , Ivan , Luka , Sua , Hyuna , Space , Comet , Star , Nova , Cosmo , Cosmic , Nebula , Soren

Collec. Pronouns: He/Him , Hy/Hym , Hu/Hum , She/Her , Shy/Hyr , Shu/Hur , They/Them , Thy/Thym , Thuy/Thum , It/Its , Iz/Izs , Ix/Ixs , Xe/Xem , Xe/Xyr , Dae/Daem , Cae/Caer , 👽/👽s ,🛸/🛸s , ☄️/☄️s , 🌌/🌌s , 🌠/🌠s , 🎼/🎼s , 🎵/🎵s , 🎙️/🎙️s , 🎸/🎸s , 🎤/🎤s , 🎶/🎶s

Collec. Gender: Trigender (male + female + synthroin ) , AlienStageGender , Synthroibodiment , Spacelingualic , Horrorcosmium , Idolish , Idolgender , Idolhorder , Idolsplit , Idolthing , Idolbeing , Lumessia , Spaceaesic , Timonoctis , Musicaeli ,

Collec. Attraction: Abro , Idol4Idol , Musitism , Harmonic Attraction , Lyricen Attraction

Collec. Other ID: Alien Copinglink , AIdoAB , Idolvior , Idolvesi , Spaceipsese , Cosmochronal , Cosmic Xenoscent

Origins/Modifiers: Spacebased , Interestbased , Musicabased

Aesthetics: Spacecore , Glowave , Hydrogen , Alien , Raver , Synthwave

Name — Pronouns — Identity — Species — Role(s)

Till / Banger — He/They/Shout/Break/🎸 — Demimasc Shoutgender Guitarish Guitarweaponic , Demirose Uranic — Human — Host Protector

Ivan / Blues — He/Hym/Mic/Slow— Man Veldian/Gay — Human — Socializer Masker

Luka / Sooth — He/Hym/Hus/Sooth — Boy+ Obsessedfreak , Sophian — Human — Emotion Holder

Sua / Swan — She/Xe/Ix — Dovelady Swangender Swanribbon , Pan Lesbian— Human — Co-Host Soother

Hyuna / Buck — She/Shy/They — Agender Woman , Lesbian — Human — Guardian Gatekeeper

tags: @bahtive

[purplespacekitty]

Magnifying Glass: "The Outcast"

Episode: "The Outcast"

Series: Star Trek: The Next Generation

Season 5, Episode 17

Original Air Date: March 16, 1992

Screenwriter: Jeri Taylor

Director: Robert Scheerer

I feel like Star Trek as a fandom doesn’t really talk about this episode enough. I find this episode extremely fascinating and have a lot of thoughts about it, but I don’t want to subject anyone who isn’t willing to my (VERY LONG) ramblings, so please, keep reading at your own discretion.

First, a quick synopsis: an alien planet called J'naii enlists the Enterprise-D to help them find a lost shuttlecraft in their star system. First Officer Commander Riker is paired up with Soren, a member of the J'naii, to devise a rescue mission for this shuttlecraft and along the way, the two catch romantic feelings for one another. However, the J'naii are a majority androgynous, aromantic and asexual race and those who deviate from this norm are persecuted and forced to undergo a kind of conversion therapy to "cure" their "condition". Soren confides in Riker her feelings towards him and her identity as a woman, things she could not share with her own people for fear of the violence she has seen others like her face. Understanding the risks, the two pursue a relationship with one another, but eventually the other J'naii find out and Soren is put on trial, where she makes an impassioned speech to stand up for herself and others like her. After the trial, Riker tries to fight for Soren's right to seek asylum with the Federation, but his support and efforts are in vain. Unfortunately, by the end of the episode, Soren has been subjected to psychological treatment and no longer feels any attraction to Riker. The Enterprise leaves, having finished their business with the J'naii and Riker is left to pick up the pieces of his broken heart.

I could go on and on about the "bury your gays"/"queer and trans people must suffer" trope this episode and others like it within the franchise fall into (i.e. DS9's "Rejoined" and ENT's "Cogenitor"). And while I will be criticizing the casting and writing decisions this episode's creators made, I think it's important to recognize the ways in which this episode does achieve some level of success with Star Trek's most favored format for addressing social and political issues; allegorical storytelling. However, I will be dragging this episode before I compliment it, so bear with me.

I’ll be honest…I’m not super jazzed about the way they handled sexuality in this episode. The J��naii reproduce asexually and it is not socially acceptable to have sex or procreate sexually in J’naii society. Which is in an of itself mostly fine, except that the writers portray the agender, aromantic and asexual J’naii as largely dispassionate, cold and close-minded, unable to connect with each other or other beings in meaningful ways which, hey, right off the bat, not a great depiction of aspec folks. The J’naii are supposed to be an antithesis of (‘90s) Earth conventions of gender and sexuality, but in their creation as one of the very few sets of characters up until this point that are generally androgynous, aromantic and asexual, they fall in line with a kind of alienation not uncommon in Star Trek: ‘look at this species, they do things differently from the majority of humans! isn’t that neat? but it’s just unique to them, so what sets us apart from them must be what makes us fundamentally human’. Take Spock, Data, Seven of Nine and Odo for instance, all characters who on some level struggle with human/humanoid conceptions of sexuality and all characters who have a complicated relationship to humanity as they themselves are not (just) human. Each of them are generally received by human characters as cold, calculating and are purposely shown to have difficulty connecting with others intimately because they are not (just) human. The often-used trope is that if only they were human, they would understand what love is (queue Foreigner’s “I Wanna Know What Love Is”). This more broadly implies that romance and sex are essential to humanity and human intimacy, which they are not. Creating a species that is predominantly agender, aromantic and asexual and because of this, predominantly operates in cold a and stagnant way creates a monolith of aromantic and asexual people and ignores the complexities of the aromantic and asexual spectrums, especially against the backdrop of a central star-crossed lovers plot.

Riker's actor Jonathan Frakes insisted that it would have been more impactful to cast Soren with a male actor rather than a cisgender actress. Indeed, because this episode originally was made to challenge viewer attitudes towards homosexuality, such a decision surely would have shaken people’s foundations a bit more and would have actually better-achieved what the writers were going for. Maybe this episode would have been as beloved as “Rejoined” if it had featured Star Trek’s first kiss between two men. However, if they had had Soren still identify as a woman when played by a male actor, we would still have someone who does not live our stories telling our stories for us. A truly meaningful representation of trans people would have seen Soren cast with a trans actress. But as I mentioned, an allegory for trans people wasn’t really what the writers were going for and they probably didn’t see hiring actual trans people as a viable option in the first place. If you look on Memory Alpha, you will see that none of the writers in the room for “The Outcast” were trans or queer themselves. Jeri Taylor herself says that while she is not gay, she wanted to do this story because homosexuality is such a controversial issue and "as a woman [she does] consider [herself] in a particular minority; [she knows] what it feels like to be disenfranchised – not in that precise way – and [she] felt like [she] had a touchstone to some of the feelings that must be involved" (Captains' Logs: The Unauthorized Complete Trek Voyages, p. 240). I think it's admirable that she wanted to head a project like this and to give the issue a great deal more compassion than others would have in her place, but the fact still remains that she herself is not queer or trans, meaning that, again, people who do not live our stories and were mostly just fishing for clout were trying to tell our stories for us.

All this to say, I do think this episode has some things going for it that I would like to outline below. Because regardless of the casting decisions and the way the writers actually ended up handling conventions of gender and sexuality, Soren is a trans woman: she identifies as a gender different from the gender she was assigned at birth. And Riker falls for her and gives her his love with an open ease that Soren’s own people do not.

When I watched “The Outcast” for the first time, I hadn’t come out yet and I hadn’t even begun to delve into the world of my own gender or sexuality. So it wasn’t my trans awakening or anything, but it certainly is one of the things I ruminate on when I think back to, as we LGBTQIA+ people are wont to do, all the times when perhaps I could have realized it.

Yeah, I know this episode gives us just another of many Riker romances, but it is not at all flippant or without depth in the way it unfolds. The focal romance of this episode is part of what makes it all the more heartbreaking. Riker falls fast and hard for Soren in an era of American TV where trans characters were routinely played for laughs (I’m looking at you, Frasier). Popular cis male characters of the 1990s are vastly insecure about their masculinity and sexuality in interactions with trans people, particularly with trans women. If TNG teaches us nothing else, it certainly teaches us that Riker is admirably comfortable in both his masculinity and sexuality. Of course, Star Trek takes place lightyears ahead of the eras it’s filmed in. This episode was written in the 1990s and is therefore restrained in its exploration of gender by mainstream, Western ‘90s understandings of gender. But by the 24th century, humanity is supposed to have addressed and healed the wounds of its prejudices. So by the time the Enterprise sidles up to J’naii, humanity has had plenty of time to learn about and understand the multitudes of gender, not just in their own cultures but in those of other species (I’m thinking here of Star Trek’s tendency to favor Western cultural values over others). There are no mentions in this episode of the many genders that have been recognized by various Earth cultures throughout history and the writers did not anticipate the way in which gender identities and definitions have now been recovered and expanded, a process one might assume will only continue as we move forward.

"The Outcast" aired in 1992, when the term “nonbinary” had not yet made its way into mainstream English vernacular. But as pointed out above, it is not unaccompanied by other episodes in the franchise addressing gender politics: “The Offspring” showcases Data’s relationship to gender and his determination to let his android child decide their own gender; DS9 has an entire character whose gender and sexuality are fluid depending on their host and the symbiont Dax’s gender is never confirmed; the wormhole Prophets’ genders are never confirmed; there are many episodes in both TNG and DS9 which examine Ferengi gender politics; one episode shows us Sisko and Bashir excitedly discussing a male lieutenant’s pregnancy and upcoming baby shower; etc. However, while it's easy to argue that it would have been plausible for the human officers aboard Enterprise-D to easily grasp the concept of a species where androgyny is the norm, it is precisely the incongruity of a mainstream Western '90s understanding of gender paired with the supposed utopian Earth of the 24th century that makes this episode resonate with me (as I'm sure it has with others) in particular. Science fiction is more about the past than the future, after all. “The Outcast” approaches genderqueerness and pronouns with the compassion and curiosity expected of Starfleet. And because of this, we get to see multiple characters grow in this episode, particularly Riker and Worf, both of whom initially struggle with the idea of gender neutrality.

Now, getting into the romantic plot. Riker’s love for Soren is unconditional, a hopeful light in the face of two different worlds (Earth from our side of the screen and J’naii from the other) that constantly deny trans people our right to exist, which paint us as sick, demented, perverted, monstrous and disgusting. When Soren confides in Riker about her identity, he is not deterred. He is curious and kind, glad to have been shown this part of her truth, even as he struggles to understand J’naii’s general attitude towards gender. Furthermore, there are no reservations on Riker’s part about Soren’s appearance. Although Soren is played by a cisgender actress, binarism in our society pressures many trans people to transition medically in a way that Soren has not, an issue that is of no concern to Riker who is simply in love with her as she is. Which is cool, considering that the majority of Riker’s romantic interests are hyper-feminine. What this shows us is that Riker is not so shallow as to be concerned solely with a person’s appearance when it comes to who he's attracted to and does not so deeply equate gender presentation with gender identity that he is unable to see Soren as the woman she is. He is already attracted to Soren before she confides her gender identity to him.

Soren does not mention anyone who has felt similar feelings for her or for whom she has felt similar feelings and explains that the concept of gender is highly “offensive” to the J’naii. She has spent the majority of her life in fear of her truth being exposed, but in Riker’s company, feels safe to share it with him as he is an outsider who has shown an honest interest in learning. He comes to understand her in a way that she has not been allowed to let others understand her before, in a way that has not been safe before, which is the door that opens them both to their care and love for one another. Though we don’t get to see them learn all that much about each other personally, they do learn that they share an interest in exobotany and get to spent some truly heart-melting moments together.

Back on the Enterprise, Riker has a significant conversation with Deanna about Soren, expressing his deep love for her and letting Deanna know that he wants to continue to pursue a relationship with Soren. Again, this demonstrates that Riker is not only head over heels for Soren but also that he is secure in his masculinity and sexuality, nowhere near ashamed of the feelings he feels for Soren, but simply concerned for the stability of his friendship with his ex. We love a respectful, communicative guy.

We don’t get to see Soren express her feelings for Riker or any potential shame she might harbor about them to anyone but him, which we know would lead to her persecution if she tried to share it with another J’naii. Which leads us to the end of this episode.

The tragedy, of course, is that the other J’naii do find out and do not respond with compassion or respect. Even after Soren has given everything to valiantly make her case, to stand up for herself and others who share her experiences of gender-based oppression, Riker and Worf return to J’naii one last time to rescue her only to find out that they are too late; Soren has already been forced to undergo psychotectic treatment (i.e. conversion therapy). Riker makes one last desperate attempt to get Soren to recall her true self but…she doesn’t. She can’t. And that clipped connection, that final tear in the string that bound them together in an inextricable truth, is what haunts Riker as Ensign Gates takes the Enterprise-D out of J’naii’s orbit.

Obviously, I would have loved to see Riker and Worf succeed in their rescue attempt, have our intrepid heroes break the Prime Directive to save Soren and help forge the first steps to liberating the trans people of J’naii. Unfortunately, for this episode to work, for it to resonate with its viewers as a meaningful commentary on the way our society treats queer and trans people, the screenwriters obviously felt that the tragedy of losing Soren in the end would garner more sympathy. We see a similar take with episodes like DS9's aforementioned “Rejoined”, where Jadzia Dax’s resolve to live the rest of her life with Lenara Kahn is ultimately in vain. She can only watch helplessly from the balcony above the Promenade as Kahn leaves, having chosen instead to favor the life of her symbiont and its future hosts over spending what time she can with the love of her life. Homophobia and transphobia tear people apart - real, living, breathing, loving, caring people. To deny someone their right to stand in their own truth is to deny them their existence. The screenwriters for “The Outcast” made the conscious decision to have us witness this violence, to make us sit with it and understand that Soren's experience represents the real experiences of real people. That the violence committed against queer and trans people harms both them and those who love them. Because Soren was loved. Is loved. She was held and shown a humility she for so long had no access to. And for a brief moment, she felt that love.

Absolutely, this episode could have been done better and I really, really wish they had hired actual trans people to tell Soren’s story or at least cast an actual trans actress to play her. But I do think there is something to be said for the episode’s fundamental, albeit accidental message which is that trans people are not broken or sick in the head. We are whole, vibrant beings entirely deserving of love, respect, support, happiness, care and, above all, life.

[yohohonabottle]

Pirin's fury/ How he dishes retribution

A saintly patient and forgiving, calm spirit whom isn’t easy to genuinely anger. It's like angering Dionel or Magister Zelda --Not easy feat to accomplish. Annoy, maybe. Disappoint here and there. Anger? Really have to cross a line.

Punishments are very personally tailored hell to the target. Short, very brief in duration but impactful and potently phantom. Always internal. But this is only his silent fury, a long deathly silence the warning sign...

Four examples, a.k.a the four 'idiots' who effed around and found out:

*Soren-- "Isolation" and having combat being ''taken'' away A sense of teeth-chattering, stubborn cold that only keeps growing. His heart is fine, his temperature is fine, breathing also fine. Zero trace of sickness. However he just feels this cold to his very bones, and gradually joined by sense of being slowly strangled, pressed down and crushed by boulder. Can’t pick up his stick, or fight. Not because his limbs are paralyzed or weakened, anything. Somehow, the idea of so much as lifting that staff repels him, can't stomach it. And Soren himself can't understand why that is, even less explain it. No twisted version of his memories or loved ones. No delirium or hallucinations. Phantom, viscerally vivid sensations. Isolation (feeling). It vanished once he got over his stubborn pride and apologized. (Caved in after two weeks, three. Pride be fucked. Did it gruffly, and took a stern note to himself to NOT do cross a line.)

* Berial-- "No attention" and can't get attention. "Voiceless" Thin, sturdy chords grab and puppeteer him, no way of escaping or fighting back. Made to feel powerless, like a mortal human. The world doesn’t care about him, no matter what he does or doesn’t do be it positive or negative and the extremes. He’s “voiceless”. Zero attention. He’s meaningless, puny. It vanished once the clown made amends by fixing his ‘pranks’ on his own without outer influence.

* Valen-- Combination of being “voiceless”, can’t “get” attention and all alone. And ''Overdose in indulgence'' Feels chillingly cold and alone, no matter if by himself, with friends, a lover. To him, it feels like he holds empty air in his arms, touches nothing. The cold mixes with heat like burning alive on the inside—But is fine and healthy. The pleasure is too much, feels too sweet and “burning”, like suffocating and drowning at the same time, filthy, chained to many things at once with shackles. But it’s all only phantom sensations, so vivid that his brain/mind registers as real. It vanished once the knight apologized and made amends. (Did it very quickly. Came running and begged for forgiveness. No hell can/has rattled him this badly.)

* Sinbad--“Reversed Mida’s touch” and 'scuffed' navigation Feels like every coin he gets instantly disappears. Like there’s a hole in his palms and bag, the treasure slipping right through. Or he’s “misplaced” and “lost” it. Everywhere the sailor goes, feels and looks...the same to him. Boring, and impossible to distinguish, messes up his navigation sense in a way. But his eyes are okay, his brain and mind too. Somehow there’s a disconnect. Trying to get intel and it’s like the text is written in alien symbols or the person is speaking total gibberish to his “cotton-filled” ears. (Money, adventures, intel “taken” away) It vanished once the crook got over his stubbornness after realizing his misdeed(s) and made amends for them. (Took him a day. One day. To come begging, on his knees, pride be damned.)

→ |Cecia doesn’t count because she kind of roused Pirin’s anger on accident/ “Stepped on his tail” after someone else has already thinned his patience to a hair. The noblewoman simply happened to set off the “eruption” and got terribly ‘backhanded’. |←

And if somehow this still doesn't get the point across, and he's continued to be pushed, angered even further (Merlin hello)...Then the prelude is the room suddenly feeling really cold. This haunting deathly silence is last warning, after which follows Pirin's open wrath.

Then it's a barrage of ferocious claw-strikes, bites and possibly magic-- All pelting the target like a stymphalian bird at once. With the afflicted 'curse' still in effect fully and getting so much worse. To put it lightly.

Merlin is often a target, drawing out that ire from him. And very narrowly avoided loosing his eyes, limbs broken and dislocated, several heavy puncture wounds, bones done for plus serious burns all over from the blades/spines of crystallized fire. Possible internal injuries not to be brushed off and over all, was so very close to stepping through Death's door. But Merlin somehow forgot it all.

Or how Chippy got sent flying and crashing into the wall/support column with a single, hard, wing-slap. And Hammie narrowly dodged a lethal whip-like swipe of a tail lash, also nearly would've lost and arm but got away with only her staff narrowly getting snapped in half by jaws with sharp teeth.

And Soren? He had gotten face to face with both of Pirin's furies. Simply see the segments he and Berial have in Clown's reminiscing -Bear's sin (that outed half of the guests). The only person who can stop the Night nymph once reached that point... is he himself. Or no one and total exhaustion.