#soooo whatever happens just happens

[auragasmics]

whoever sent me the onlyfan!toji thirst…expect a mini fic bc i had an idea just like it and you 🫵 just gave me the platform!

[willczek-art]

The real nightmare of Nightmare Time is that there's so little of it

[sirtadcooper]

Who cares about me? I do. Why? I'm just no one. No, you are not!

[justaz]

all this was to say that lance had the perfect set up for a deep, beautiful character arc but…well. we all know what happened. he’s arrogant, overconfident, and cocky and this ends up with him making mistakes and costing his team a pretty run with the flight sim. yet you can see in that episode with the yupper that lance has a deep insecurity that he buries and hides under smirks and quips and a whole lotta pride. (they also could’ve tied it to his family as well since they gave him multiple siblings which would’ve overshadowed his accomplishments which is the root of him striving for greatness and perfection so much that he gets tunnel vision and his team pays the price, but i digress.) with his competition/rivalry with keith, the star student who is effortlessly talented, it would’ve been beautiful for them to be equals as coleaders without them realizing. it wasn’t a conscious decision for either of them but lance’s little line from the first episode had more truth than he realized - “lance and keith, neck and neck”.

and then to lose that along with himself when kuron takes control of the team, to watch him struggle and flounder and fall deeper into his insecurities, his pride and ego wounded so much that he is unsure of his every move, his every word, his every breath. it would’ve been PERFECT for him to figure out that kuron was a clone and that the team was under galran command. lance being forced into the leadership role, much like keith was, and having to make decisions and choices for the team as black paladin - still being so unsure of what he’s doing and if it’s right. he full heartedly believes that the team needs keith back, they can’t do this without him, but keith is on the space whale and no one can get ahold of him so it’s up to lance. lance who slowly heals the deep wound within him that has him believing that he’ll never be good enough and grows his confidence back on solid ground. lance who becomes steady and sure of himself and leads the team almost effortlessly.

all this paralleling keith’s character arc which (ofc) happened off screen in canon. keith who was restless and explosive for years bc he never had a mother, his father died when he was young, he was bounced around from foster home to foster home, and once he found a permanent home, shiro goes missing and is presumed dead. keith who is constantly searching for something he can’t name and finding his mother and is forced to be with her for two years while glimpsing the past and future. keith seeing his parents meet and fall in love, watching as his mother practically tore herself apart inside as she left him and his father behind - feeling a piece of him settle within at the sight. she didn’t want to leave, she would’ve given anything to stay. watching his father and shiro raise him, their love unconditional until the day they left. krolia watching little keith rage at the injustice and being there for his older self and healing those wounds. settling every restless piece within him until he became the man who stepped back onto the castleship with a space wolf, an altean, and his alien mom.

keith and lance finding a shred of stability with one another as coleaders of voltron and best friends since they definitely grew closer during s3. they were attached at the hip, they did everything together, the line between platonic and romantic blurred so much that it wasn’t even there anymore, it was just them. but it was unhealthy how close they were, how dependent they were on one another. only to be torn apart and with their unhealthy codependency, they completely fall apart without the other there so theyre forced to rebuild the foundations of their beings. lance crumbles all alone as he and the team become distant and he rebuilds as black paladin. keith crumbles alone at the blade hopping from mission to mission and rebuilds on the space whale with his mother.

steady keith and lance meeting almost like for the first time after lance and the team took out kuron and keith and krolia found a hidden altea. together they turn on lotor and take him down too. since kuron has already been dealt with, lotor didn’t get away and all that other shit in canon didn’t happen so they get to remain in space until they take the empire completely. allura places shiro into the clone’s body and meets romelle and talks of freeing the hidden altea after the war is over and theyre not at risk anymore. keith and lance are unsure of how to proceed with the whole leader thing but there again pops up the coleader resolution. as steadier, mature versions of themselves, keith has really stepped into the black paladin position while lance had always been more suited for red. keith and lance, leader and his right hand, but they’re equals. theres no competition, no rivalry, no jealousy or envy, just respect and love.

[seaofreverie]

Sparkstember Day 18: Balls (Bullet Train)

Sometimes (oftentimes) it's true that all you need are Balls. I personally absolutely love Balls. I'm a big fan! Ekhem. Today I'm using the help of (I mean, copying most of the passages from it) my earlier Balls rant that I have written down after my first listen of it back in January. I really love this album and I don't want to completely skip over saying a couple words on it at least but I really don't think I have the headspace to write anything very good for it today. I'll still try though!

So yeah, Balls. It's a great album, fun and chill (in my sense of what I call and consider chill anyway), consistent, as Sparks albums tend to be, and as I suspected / hoped it does fit this specific vibe of driving around at night somewhere city-like and illuminated. Or being on a train deep at night and looking at the world zooming by (if you'd even see much of it on a train at night anyway.....). And I do think that it's not so dissimilar to Gratsax (I'd say now that it's definitely darker and moodier than its predecessor...). So it's interesting to think about how it's considered to be one of the "weak" ones (by music reviewers at least) while Gratsax is so beloved in comparision.

I will admit, I don't really know what the big problem with this album could be. As I said, it's fun, it has the melodies, it has the energy, it has the theatricality (I like seeing how more and more orchestral instruments such as strings are being incorporated into the music, in a way the jump into Lil' Beethoven two years later doesn't come of as THAT much of a shock because of this. The evolution of sound here is fascinating!) I really like the intense beats, just as much as the more laid-back and moodier pieces. And there's lots of gold to be found in the lyrics department as always.

One more thing I wanna say is that at some point I wondered if this music sounds older than it is. Maybe it does? But then I remembered that this was 2000 and honestly when I think about it, there just IS something about this album that fits so well with the Y2K image and vibe and all. Sparks 2000 and all that.

Favourite songs (and other highlights):

Balls: I mean. It's Balls.

Scheherazade: absolutely LOVE this one and I had the strangest impression of it sounding very familiar when I first heard it. Months later I found out that it was just briefly featured in TSB so I think that explains it (I will talk more about my TSB viewings on TSB day. EVERYTHING has to be explained in excruciating detail, lmao)

The Calm Before The Storm: bugsonas 4ever. Song itself is amazing too

How To Get Your Ass Kicked: how can a song about getting your ass kicked be so pleasant and relaxing, it always keeps cracking me up, how perfect that is actually

Bullet Train: I love it how introducing the topic of the song with a "It's the [topic of the song]" is a reoccurring theme on this album. Thank you Sparks for this ode to technology and art (these lyrics always have me giggling). And also it just goes hard as heck

It's Educational: a perfect fusion of / sequel to I Thought I Told You To Wait In The Car and Progress (it's mostly the vocal delivery that reminds me of the latter)

The Angels: such an odd one here but I still like it a lot, I apparently said that it sounds "surprisingly mainstream for Sparks but somehow in a positive way". It's very sweet and I absolutely love how Russell sings here, it's so different from what we're used to but that only makes it hit you even more in the feels, lol. And I actually prefer the alternative version of this song that's featured as a bonus track, and I do think that's in big part because you can hear Russell better on it (or that was my first impression of it at least and it kind of stuck)

[lemongogo]

[koi-fish-boy]

Y'all The Handler being just a normal human is terrifying because like what the hell happened to her??? She was someone's baby. She was a kid once. She's clearly still young, like in her mid-late 20s I'd guess. So whatever happened to her likely happened when she was a kid or in her late teens and early adult years.

[biillys]

hi au where billy and max are child stars

neil auditioning billy for a (soon-to-be) beloved family sitcom as a baby, very mary-kate and ashley vibes, maybe billy getting the role for being the only baby not to cry during the auditions, and then putting him to work from basically day dot.

his mom doing her best to run interference and make sure he gets treated right, only letting him be on set for a few hours a week and making sure either herself or neil is always with him, but the older he grows and the more screen time he gets, the more the show runners and neil try and weasel their way for more time with him.

him turning five and the show airing it's fourth season, his parents marriage being over. his mom handing neil the divorce papers and walking out, then dipping her hand into his earnings (that neil has tied up in his own name) to try and buy them a future, trying to get full custody.

the divorce being messy and drawn out and public, neil having made her out to be the villain, the fans and magazines tearing her to shreds and writing headlines trying to shame her, saying she's a heartless bitch for trying to end her own child's career just as it's starting to take off.

billy getting caught in the middle, the separation and custody battle drawing out for years, him struggling to handle the fall out of his home life coming apart at the same time as the sitcom he grew up on comes to an end.

his life being a fucking mess by the time he turns eight.

having a little bit of free time then, technically being jobless. starting to explore other hobbies and interests now that he has some time and getting more into music and sports, begging for a guitar and a surfboard for his birthday, asking neil if he can join little league.

neil promising him one better, and instead, getting him auditions for disney, telling him the only thing better than playing the guitar, is playing the guitar for disney.

turning ten and being a series regular on an already airing disney show, but the execs and directors being so impressed by him that there's talks of him getting his own show.

part of him being excited, proud, but a bigger part of him being terrified.

being so scared to tell his mom cos he knows she'll cry. she used to run her fingers through his hair to lull him to sleep, hug him close and whisper about how she never wanted this life for him, how she's so sorry.

it becoming official and him getting his own show on disney.

him getting the news exactly one week after his mom walks out for good, his dad having finally won full custody, no visitation allowed.

him feeling sick to his stomach. he never thought she'd actually leave.

he never even got to tell her his news.

it not taking long for the shine of having his own show to wear off, the few things he was excited about starting to become a hassle.

starting to resent it.

hating it.

hating the lights and the cameras and the scripts and the running lines. the early mornings and the make up and the flights and the night shoots and the interviews and the press. hating the way he's always surrounded by adults, never having had an actual friend his own age in his entire life. that all the other kids he knows are pitted to him like rivals, there being always talk about ratings and viewers and timeslots. him not knowing what a friend without it being tied up in publicity and pr.

hating the fact that he has a sister on the show, but his dad and her mom end up getting close, and suddenly he's getting a step-sister in real life.

hating the way max only has to film for x amount of hours a day because she's a kid, but he has to film for longer, and thats on top of everything else he's gotta do, very miley cyrus sharing her schedule during her hannah montana years vibes.

him becoming a household name in his younger years from the sitcom, but disney cementing his fame, him being known by what feels like the entire world by the time he's in his teens.

growing up and getting into shit, experimenting with drugs and alcohol and sex, trying to find any and every escape he can. him and max always being on the outs in private, but being the picture perfect family in public.

neil being a controlling fucker, a true momager, has kris jenner on speed dial.

rebelling in every way he can, not giving a fuck what stories or pictures of him get leaked anymore, the press and public turning against him as he gets older.

his show ending and him expecting to finally feel free, except just becos the shows over, doesn't mean anything else is. suddenly the pressure starts feeling heavier, everyone asking him what he's got lined up next, if he's gonna straighten himself out, if he's gonna finally take his career seriously.

neil riding him, telling him to forget about whatever he wants to do, and do what he tells him to do instead. him having various commitments and auditions lined up for billy already, and billy being ready to end it all.

emancipating himself at age seventeen, cutting off contact with everyone.

going off the rails and living his worst life. catching the headlines and updates of maxine mayfield: now managed by neil hargrove, and shoving down the urge to call her and tell her to run, knows she won't listen to a thing he says any way. he was nothing but an asshole and a spoilt brat no good fuck up in her eyes anyway, neil making sure they never got close.

doing his best to go down the music route, feeling physically ill at the thought of acting again, but thinking maybe music could be the answer. he always liked it better. felt more comfortable with a guitar in his hands or a piano under his fingers than cameras and lights in his face.

the music industry being just as harsh and ruthless as the entertainment industry, him not getting taken seriously by anyone he needs to be taken seriously by, everyones expectations of him being so fucking high that he knows he'll never be able to meet them.

deciding he doesn't give a fuck about anything anymore, his life's never been his own to control or have any say over anyway. signing a five year contract with a well-known label, not writing a single song of his own or playing a single instrument aside from when they want him to trot out an acoustic set, and instead singing words richer people than him wrote and performing show after show after show, flying from country to country to country, barely fucking existing. the songs becoming chart toppers, like they were written to be, and selling out stadiums.

hitting rock bottom.

getting a wake up call from max of all people, her ringing to check he's still alive. him pulling the phone away to check this is an actual call and not a hallucination. putting the phone back up to his ear, asking why she's calling.

her saying happy birthday and billy realising he's turning twenty today.

them sitting in silence for a while before max finally cracks.

her telling him his dad's an asshole. billy laughing. no shit.

them hanging up, but max calling again, a month later, then again, a few weeks after that.

billy being hungover as fuck and having no idea what country he's in, but max is in a new movie, out in cinemas now, and it's a serious drama, it's fucking emmy nominated, so he calls the front desk of whatever hotel he's staying at and asks for directions to the closest cinema and before he knows it, he's going incognito, hoodie on, and watching her on the big screen, and she's so much better at acting than he ever was.

neil must be so goddamn pleased with himself.

too bad max sounds completely miserable everytime they talk on the phone.

he calls her instead of her calling him for the first time, opening the conversation with saw your movie, how much fucking overtime did you get for all those night-shoots?

before or after your dad took his cut?

billy laughs. he can't remember the last time he laughed.

ANYWAY. i was listening to robot by miley cyrus on repeat and!!!! child stars au!!!! them both being worked to the bone!!! hating each other becos they barely know each other cos they barely know themselves!!!! getting through their childhoods battered and bruised, billy coming out the other side first, max finally catching up to him a few years later. them both, one by one, cutting their parents out!!!! max taking the big screen by storm when she grows up, neil frothing at the mouth that he can't touch her money when she cuts him out!!!! billy never signing another contract again after his record deal ends, disappearing off the face off the earth!!!! slight the lucky one by tswift vibes!!!! idk!!!!!

[bmpmp3]

im largely an outsider so take my opinions with a grain of salt but one thing thats been disappointing me in the few omegaverse stories ive read, despite how much the genre intrigues me in theory, is the like.. biological monogamy? with the biting stuff? i dunno i dont care for soulmate and soulmate adjacent stuff in general and tbh im not super invested in the horny aspect (although i do respect and appreciate it. guards impregnate that man etc etc) as much as i am in the speculative fiction biology+exploration of human sociopolitical landscapes through an anthropomorphized lens so this is a me problem but i do just know too much about too many animals so the claiming bite stuff being anything more than just bedroom play completely breaks my suspension of disbelief. all this to say i do keep telling my irl loved ones that i need to make the white throated sparrow based omegaverse i see in my minds eye. i see it so clearly. i see it so clearly.

[sieglinde-freud]

ive probably talked about it before but there is obviously an inherent tragedy when it comes to the awakening second gen that is present in all of their characters, but some of them are definitely more comic relief-y than others? which is fine but i think the funniest thing ever is the devs making inigo fire emblem almost entirely a gimmick haha funny character (with like. TWO exceptions in his supports and those two exceptions are literally just his parents) and then realizing “hey people kinda like this guy. lets switch it up a bit for the dlc” and then made like. the best character in the world. like who knew all people needed to enjoy the womanizer trope was to drop him in situations where flirting was no longer an option. then come fates hes like a whole different guy (in a good way!) which, yes you can chalk up to him growing up, but theres a clear difference in how he was written and how selena and odin were written in the same guy and you can just see how the writers were like “holy shit we struck gold with this one” like its crazy hes crazy hes my favorite guy in the world. AND HES STILL FUNNY

[rogloptimist]

demi/puck at wc but like. specter of lotte right

[bensdavies]

fa cup final in the sun. am i excited or bricking it? both i think but either way, up the fucking spurs x

[toastermelody]

Qualia sisters designs GO (ft shitty mockups of their donut designs)

[longagoitwastuesday]

I have learnt things about Geto that I wish I could unlearn

[waltzing-rats]

I made matching (wisteria street) Mitsuri and Gyomei keychains for my friend and I. Was pretty nervous cause im using Shrink plastic but Mitsuri turned out really cute i dont mind the fading that much

Gyomei however makes me wanna jump off a cliff um i have no idea how this happened i worked the exact same on both of em. Its ok tho cause Mitsuri is my friend’s and Gyomei is mine so ill hang him up on my board and ignore the patchiness

[devilsskettle]

sometimes it’s silly how predictable the characters i end up latching onto are for example alex romero bates motel:

extremely competent

extremely guarded but with moments of vulnerability

doesn’t tolerate bullshit

not really above board professionally speaking but has the most consistent moral backbone of the show. even if it sometimes includes a lot of lying and/or killing people lol

if you try to do a long winded villain speech he will just shoot you

totally infatuated and it makes him crazy insane

fake marriage trope yayyy

big brown eyes

ofc i didn’t like him in season 1 because he’s a cop but like. w/e it’s tv. unfortunately it also means he’s involved in all the plot lines i don’t care about but w/e