#soooo i don't want to be like that too so im just avoiding her. which is. actually kinda stupid because she might think i don't care about

[girlivealwaysbean]

jealousy is such an ugly emotion but oh my god am i filled with it

[savannahsdeath]

hii i love ur stories, and i was wondering if you could do a one-shot where ellie won't admit it, but she LOVES being a sub and just listening to you 🫣

SUB!TOP!ELLIE WILLIAMS X READER

mdni please<3

warnings: 18+!! sub!top!ellie, oblivious!reader, making out, a liiiitttleee of thigh reading, js smut

writers note: im a sucker for dom!ellie but my first req was sub!ellie and now it just has a separate place in my brain.. yeah, i need both. switch!ellie lover i guess💪💪 also this ones sub!top!ellie because im soooo in love w her like awshhzhsv

you always saw ellie as the firm, rough and confident one. as the 'don't tell me what to do' one. and definitely the straight-forward one. you wouldn't even think it's the complete otherwise, especially not while grinding on her lap. your lips were connected for a few minutes now, and everytime you pulled away to catch your breath a line of saliva built a bridge between you. you were needy, ellie desperate and the whole situation really messy. quite a combo.

"ellie..." you whined after freeing your tongue.

she pulled you back into her, holding onto the back of your neck. "what is it, doll?"

"mhh-" a week sound escaped your mouth, as you struggled to calm down and not act as if you just ran a marathon (because you didn't, of course, but that's how you felt). "touch me..."

you didn't realize she kept her hands only on your head because she was shy. you never thought she could be shy at all. your request, though, awakened something in her. she hungrily slid her slim fingers beneath your shirt, where they rubbed soothing shapes into your skin.

"like that?" she laughed, or at least you guessed she did, because the sensations made it hard for you to tell.

your answer was a one word, but a keyword. "more."

with that, her hands unfastened your bra and threw it somewhere on the ground. she turned you around, making you lean your back on her chest. your shirt covered the scene - her playing with your hard nipples, that didn't feel so sensitive until now. her hair fell on your face, slightly covering it, as she bowed her head to kiss your neck. your pussy sent a needy impulse through the rest of your body, signaling you this is what you needed, before the pulsating changed it's message to a 'not enough'. ellie seemed to notice it, and one of her hands untied the knot of your cute pyjama-shorts. the elastic at your hips widened to make room for her hand, and it carefully slipped underneath the waistband, though stayed on top of your underwear. she followed the wet path with her middle finger, arriving to it's source. she didn't put any pressure onto your body, leaving you unsatisfied.

"please- please, do it." you nodded, fighting the urge to press her hand towards you.

she was more than happy to do it, her hand avoiding now also your panties and making contact with your bare body. you shuddered at the coldness she brought with her, but things quickly got heated.

your head found support in her shoulder, resting on it, as her pointing finger rubbed your clit and the next two lazily waited at your entrance, collecting everything that came out of it.

"do you want me to do it?" she asked. it wasn't the taunting, teasing, playful tone. it was a concerned, shy and hesitating one. one you weren't used to hear from her.

you frowned, wiping your wet, drooled mouth with the palm of your hand. "are you... really asking me that?" you wanted to add '...or am i dreaming?' but that was too much for you now, and your throat refused to work.

"i only want to do things you want me to do." she whispered, sounding almost ashamed about admitting that.

she continued the trail of sappy little kissed on your neck, somewhere where the vocal cords are, and you thought that's the main reason they're not working.

you couldn't hide your surprise but stayed quiet, though not really by choice. she thanked god you couldn't feel her own wet spot, which was probably bigger than yours and still growing each time you asked her to do something for you. even if your commands weren't out of your dominance, even if you had no idea how they turn her on, she only waited for you to ask for more, or less, anything would satisfy her, as long as she can satisfy you.

[autisticjoshrusso]

really struggling to formulate my thoughts on this episode here. i think a lot was done right and a lot was done kind of poorly.

i think it was a mistake to end tommy's plotline on the show in that same lukewarm place that it had been for the entire time. the narrative was simultaneously too kind and not kind enough to him at the end in a way that didn't match the energy it had been giving. im not normally one to advocate for something to be made more black and white, but i think this is one of those times that the plot would have benefited from it. they needed to lean harder into him being an asshole or being a good guy. if they wanted him to get a redemption arc and the breakup to be very sad etc like they were apparently going for here, they should have made him more likeable this whole time. it felt tonally disconnected to me. like if he's going to be this emotional guy who cares too much about potentially being heartbroken we should have been getting that the whole time and we just objectively weren't.

i'll get into the maddie, josh, and buck scene separately. that's gonna need its own post from me because you know thats my special guy and i gotta really get into it.

i'm definitely glad to see the relationship be over. i've stayed pretty middle ground this whole time because i loved the potential tommy could have had as a character, but that was just never delivered in canon, and ive said from the beginning that even at their respective bests, i don't think buck and tommy are right for each other. they both have very different needs and would both be better served finding different partners. i'll probably return to writing my joshtommy content once the ship war starts to blow over and i can sit in peace with the knowledge that im just having fun and not trying to propose that any of it will ever be canon.

the choice to make abby's ex be the same tommy was a brilliant one, and i feel like they almost... wasted it? when buck decided he should forgive tommy for leaving her the way he did (by which i mean josh convinced him he needed to feel a certain way, more on that later as i said), it was the perfect opportunity to have tommy go, um, actually, im the one who has a problem with it now, bye. that would have really cemented the sort of avoidant behavior and lack of close emotional attachment they'd been characterizing tommy with up until that point. so to have it come back around to the same sort of hang up with buck's inexperience instead was a bit strange.

that said, i DO love their decision to put buck in breakup green and ask tommy to move in. the way my stomach dropped in that moment because i knew it was over, they were breaking up, etc. because he was doing it again. once again he was unsure about the relationship and then immediately overcompensated by proposing a major step forward. i think it was a great choice to showcase this again because realizing he's bisexual didn't change the Behaviors. he's still on the hamster wheel. and of course the final name drop change from evan to buck was just soooo. chef's kiss. no notes.

anyway thats all ive got right this second i'll hit yall with a second post about the josh and buck of it all later on (potentially not even tonight depending on how smoothly writing it goes but hopefully sooner than later.) please try to be normal and not kill each other today folks <3 at the end of the day this is a fictional television procedural about first responders, and the real world has enough problems without inventing more things to be mad at.

[autisticempathydaemon]

Take all the time you need hun! I don’t wanna make you feel rushed or anything, life is always busy 💞💞💞

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

Both Over & Over by Rio Romeo and Again&Again by The Bird and the Bee, those two songs have been stuck in my head recently, it fits this fear I have in my mind that I’m never truly growing or I’m never actually gonna leave where I am, that I’ll always fall victim to habit and paranoia 💃🏽 also I just ADORE my meloncholy depressing songs lol but that’s not very heehee haha of me soooo Spider Web by Melanie Martinez bc it has the sound of a Coqui in it (I’m Puerto Rican) or River is a Vampire by Bear Ghost and Dan ET bc it’s just the vampiric version of that one meme “How you do my fellow kids” and it kills me

• What is your Enneagram type?

I think I’m a type 4? but I do know I’m an ENFP!

• Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

God I haven’t watched a video essay in AGES but I used to love them, but idk what gargantuan is </3 but I typically like video essays about internet history or crime cases, or of shows I enjoy (like MLP)

• Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.

SHE WAS A CHEETAH WHO WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR ME NO MATTER WHAT!!! I would pet her, talk to her, and she’d keep me company when everyone would isolate me/avoid me bc I was ‘too weird’. She was just a big ass cat that would keep me company and run by the cars side to make sure I and my family was safe. She protected me 💞 (thank you for making me remember her 🥹)

• What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

Getting on call with my partner, I’m rather clingy and just wanna spend time with them even if it’s just silence or sleepy rambling, it also keeps me from doom scrolling. If not on call with them I’ll put on RSlash or Gavin’s/Davids sleep aid and hope that knocks me out (and if not that a ba LMFAO-) also if I have Lavender, I put it under/rub it all over my pillow and plushies

• If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

Im genderfluid/gendervoid so I’ve tried many names, I do like my birth name, it means Loyal Protector/Pledge, so I wanted to find names that mean loyalty or music related names, but one name I’ve been using recently is Quincy, it feels nice sometimes, my partner suggested it to me.

• What is your favorite of Redacted's audios, and why?

Sam’s cuddles and confessions, it’s nice and comforting. That or Cataclysm in general, I fucking LOVE Cataclysm, I love relistening to it. Also any audio that involves Caelum I love that boy dearly

• What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don't get the hype for. (I won't judge, I promise.)

Aaron and Vincent. Despite me being a huge vampire lover, Vincent just did not catch my attention at all, Aaron just doesn’t peak my fancy aside from one of his BA’s. Also same thing for Porter, he kinda bores me 😔

• Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

When I was a little kid, it was the live action 102 Dalmatians, I KNEW THAT MOVIE LIKE THE BACK OF MY HAND!!! I FUCKING LOVED WATCHING CRUELLA BEING BAKED INTO A CAKE BY ALL THOSE DOGS. Also Oddball my beloved 💞💞💞 the sweet baby puppy, I just understood the pup for feeling like and odd one out as a grew up, I haven’t seen the movie in years now but it still holds such a special place in my heart. Now as an adult my two favorite shows are The Promised Neverland(only season 1, I’m reading the manga) and Madoka Magica. I love rewatching TPN, but Madoka I have to mentally prepare myself for cause good lord does it make me feel like I never took anti-depressants/pos and then a movie I love now, A Silent Voice. I think I do know that one scene for scene. As a kid who grew up being bullied for being different or just not doing things right, I felt strongly for the main characters. I’ve cried almost every single time I’ve watched the movie. The part where one of the characters jumped off the balcony kills me every time because it reminds me how that could’ve been me from the fresh ages of 9-16 and almost was. It just holds a special spot in my heart and helps me keep going. (I adore my sad heart wrenching shit lmfao)

• Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

Asher and Guy, those two would be so much fun to be friends with, also with the fact I’m so similar to them, especially Asher, bro is just like me fr 💀💀💀 collars and all. Like I just wanna be that man’s friend he is so silly

• Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you're tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I'm ready to sleep when | start talking about space.)

As cheesy as it is, the fact I just want everyone in the world to be okay and happy, I want us all to hold hands, hug, and not hurt. I cry during these rambles sometimes, I genuinely just want everyone to be safe and happy and it tears me up inside and out bc that’s just not possible with the world we live in. That or I just start rambling nonsense lmfao (bonus is if I start rambling about how much I love and care about the person I’m talking to)

• Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

Root beer and either Hot Cheetos/Cheesy Ruffles, or spicy chicken cheese sticks, meow I’m eating the shit out of that. (But if we have the money for it, Icys specifically cherry cause it’s objectively the best flavor next to Pinacolada)

• Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

Like music playlist? Currently my fave has to be either my Alexis, Quinn, or my Darlin and Quinn playlists, I love my evil people playlists and songs that represent fucked up mindsets and relationships. That or my Melancholy Comfort playlist, I enjoy my meloncholy songs.

Redacted playlist tho? Either Sam, Vega, or Caelum, Sam holds a very special place in my heart, he’s incredibly comforting and ngl I miss the less sexual audios from his earlier era. Vega just drives me feral with every new piece of info we learn, GOD I FUCKING LOVE THAT ANCIENT MAN AND THE LORE HE DROPS!!! And then Caelum’s playlist holds a special place in my heart since that was the only playlist I could listen to after finding out I was cheated on/the other woman. Helped me out a lot for about 2 months 💞

• What's your guilty pleasure media, and why?

Those shitty werewolf romance things you see on tiktok, GOD I get so fucking invested in those they’re so needlessly interesting LMFAO idc they’re cringe, I’m cringe too stfu

• And whatever else you think tells me about who you are!

I’m a huge performer! I love singing, dancing, acting, especially singing and dancing. I LIVE for the stage and positive attention, I just wanna make people smile or make people feel scene when I preform. Hopefully one day I can be famous and truly fulfill that dream of mine. I also feel emotions strongly and spent my entire childhood from middle school and up studying psychology and human behavior. Also I absolutely HATE fake people, I can’t stand when people are fake, I try to be a safe person for everyone to truly be themselves cause lord knows I always hated having to put on a mask growing up/being isolated because I didn’t fit in lmfao.

I forgot to click on anon sorry-

I adore this entry- not only did you give me so much information to work with but you’ve given me an opportunity to pair you with Lasko which I love to do.

He’s such a character in need of love, and I think you’re a perfect person to love him and be loved in return for so many reasons. He’d be an introvert to your extrovert which is always an adorable couple dynamic. You’ve mentioned a past characterized by isolation and feeling other; Lasko is uniquely situated to understand and empathize with that. You prefer true, genuine people, and Lasko is so incredibly (albeit apologetically) himself and probably incapable of being anything else.

One of the most fun activities I think you and Lasko would do together is watch anime. I like to think he’s already a fan, mostly of adventure and isekai, with some cheesy shoujo faves he’s so bashful about liking. You show him A Silent Voice, which isn’t his usual genre, and you two cry together. Another fun thing is how you’ll perform and Lasko will be in the front row every time, cheering you on. He brings you a mismatched bouquet and rambles about how he couldn’t pick a dozen of one flower, so he got a little of them all.

Song:

Cause lately it's been hard/ They're sellin' me for parts/ And I don't wanna be modern art/ But I only got half a heart to give to you/ How can you miss someone you've never seen?/ Oh, tell me, are your eyes brown, blue, or green?/ And do you like it with sugar and cream?/ Or do you take it straight, oh, just like me?

You like melancholy songs; I can provide. This is one of my favorite pining songs, and it makes me think of a young Lasko (and maybe a young you) longing for connection, love, understanding, that one person who will make the love songs finally make sense. It makes me picture Lasko just waiting for you, you know?

Runner-ups:

On the total opposite of the pairing spectrum, Hudson is one of your runner-ups because he’d be such a good match to you as a performer. I personally can’t imagine a better hype man than Hudson. I’m also picking David as a runner-up for you, because I think you two would contrast each other really cutely, in a maybe golden retriever/german shepherd way.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[tinyletterz]

YOU SHOULD GIVE ME UR VISUAL NOVEL RECS GRABBY HANDS

OKAY OKAY OKAY thank you for indulging me i love them sm some of these descriptions might sound like theyre missing stuff i just dont wanna spoil anything. all these games are free, online, and can be found on itch.io but i also linked them here too

this also got really long because i explain too much but i wanted to make sure i added enough detail w/out spoiling but also w/out leaving basic synopsis stuff out??? the mc is customizable so your not playing as a base set person which is so nice of the writers thank you guys sm:

a tale of crowns by @/ataleofcrowns

a story that follows the mc (you) as the new crown. there are 4 love interest (all male, all female, or a mix). this one depends on romance based meaning there aren't any aromantic options (i just wanted to put that out there since you are aroace ^^) i love the lore behind it and its geared towards poc which is nice <3 this is also the very first IF i stumbled upon. this is ongoing and chapter ten was just released and theres good/bad endings of chapter ten

superstition (pc versions: s1, s2, s3) (iphone friendly versions: s1, s2, s3) by @/13leaguestories

fantasy and a few other things that follows your journey through the new world of supernaturals you found after helping a woman on the streets. its rated 18+ because of sexual references but you can avoid it 100% at the beginning in the settings, though you might not be able to romance some of the characters. there's 6 love interest in total (3 male, 3 female) but depending on the setting there might be less. you also don't have to have a romance with any of them ! s3 is still in the works

when twilight strikes by @/evertidings

modern fantasy where you work for the ioas (international organization of supernaturals) as a bounty hunter. things get complicated after failing to catch a bounty the second time but i think thats for the best. i love this game soooo much it reminds me of shadowhunters and i love shadowhunters (just the books not the show but thats a different discussion omg). there are 5 romance options (1 is male, the others you can set to female/male/nonbinary or randomize like i did) ive played through this about three times; twice for the same character and once for another but i love the character dynamics

wayfarer by @/idrellegames

i will not lie the reason why i started playing this was because it reminded me of tolkien and i love tolkien. this story has you being a wayfayer: a person incapable of magic. you go on quest, forge pacts, and try your best to survive in a world thats not so kind to you. i think theres 7 romance options but i think you can not romance anyone too?? if you want more information about them you should check out the blog for the game since we haven't met all of them yet. ive played this game 4 times because i was unsatisfied with what i did those other three times and im gonna do it again :D there's options for sexually intimacy but also asexual routes though that means no relationships with some character. two chapters are currently out !!

mirror mine by @/if-mirrormine

okayaya so you were out shopping for your sibling's birthday right and when you finally get home, you won't believe it...you've been gone for 10 years?!?! everyone's so confused, your confused, your cat's just glad to have you back honestly. so an investigation has been reopened about your disappearance on why it felt like no time passed for you but ten years for everyone else. i love mystery sci-fi genre its still releasing chapters!! i think theres 4 romance options (1 male, 2 women, 1 you can pick) nd im not sure about aromantic options yet but its amazing

speaker by @/speakergame

theres a curse on your family that the first child has the ability to see visions of the future. you and your sister are twins with her as the oldest, meaning she is the Seer. you are a Speaker which means you can understand a limited amount of her visions. i love the writing there's also a demon dog which makes everything better!! theres 5 romance options i think ?? (2 you can pick, then theres 1 nonbinary, 1 male nd 1 female) ITS SO GOOD its a fantasy mystery IF and ive played through it twice so far

scout by @/anya-dev

its an apocalyptic story about humanity surviving in small communities. one morning (i think it was the morning) you meet other people not from your community which id odd because people can't survive on their own without support. this causes a whole list of issues but without these issues there wouldnt be a story so im very happy :D there are 4 romance options (2 male, 1 female, 1 you pick) but im not sure if this will get anymore updates. the author said their life was pretty hectic so i do hope things are alright on their end. even if it doesn't get updated i think the story is still amazing and will be seated with my favorites <3

ANYWAYS THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME RANT ABOUT THESE GAMES they hold a special place in my heart i hope you play some of them and find them interesting like i do !!!!

[miratenebrarum]

If our muses have a relationship together (platonic, familial, romantic, sexual, enemies, rivals, etc.), what do your other muses think about us? // If all your muses could play a musical instrument, which instrument would each of them play? // Which of your muse(s) is your complete opposite? (x)

[ UNTITLED MULTI ASKS ; ACCEPTING ]

if our muses have a relationship together (platonic, familial, romantic, sexual, enemies, rivals, etc.), what do your other muses think about us?

[ for now i think the only muses who have a well-enstablished relationship, in both cases platonic, are my P and Venigni with your P fanmdsf so. from the pov of my other LoP muses at the hotel, i think that the one w venigni was the "easiest" to get used to it, at least when it came to accepting their weird friendship and venigni's 'dadness', especially since a lot of them know about his Tragic Backstory nobody's surprised to see him become so fatherly, so quickly getting used to the experiments on the back of the hotel, on the other hand, is still a work in progress. Eugénie is very interested, while Antonia would love if they avoided burning her flowers down again FNSDM

as for the double puppets situation. well. that's odd, right? that's very odd. I do think that ironically enough the one person who isn't used to it yet, in this case, is Eugénie! Venigni probably is more curious than confused, Antonia accepted that it's either yet another sign that geppetto or Krat itself is getting weirder, but Eugénie just. sits there. watches them bicker and fight and try to climb the hotel's Stargazer for no reason, and generally mixing them up

dare i say? lowkey older sibiling coded. candace w phineas and ferb kind of relationship going on w them lmao

....and then we'll see if Something happens w karl and bonnie idk :^) ]

going under read more bc im struck with Ramblingitis today apparently lmao

If all your muses could play a musical instrument, which instrument would each of them play?

[ ALL OF THEM. OOF. OKAY. going with the canons, Karl plays the violin and both Pinocchio and Antonia play the piano, and so far so good. now let's see, divided from fandoms ig afnsdg

Amalia would probably play some sort of wooden instruments, likely a flute. likely a pan flute. I can't really see Aloe play anything honestly, but if I have to imagine him w an instrument I'm biased and my thought immediately goes for the violin for him too, specifically bc of this taunt of medic tf2 who's. lowkey one of his biggest inspirations

Bendy would play anything the scene wants him to play, really. the piano? the violin? the drums? the fiddle the maracas the church's organ? the answer is yes. i do think the fiddle is by far the best choice for him tho

Micolash would play something with strings. to me. i know it might sound odd but he's harp-coded imo.

Skinboy would play the piano but in a "captain hook in shrek 2" kinda way. to me. bc funny

Dismas is another guy I really can't see pick up an instrument, like. at all. Out of them all I do see him tinkering with a bass, or once again something small with strings he could bring around during camping, but I don't think he'd like it. contrary to Zazel who's soooo percussion coded let her smash a big bass drum

Laure with a lute. it would be funny. Laure lute Laure lute Laure lute Laure l and yea the Queen plays the piano. To me. Specifically a fortepiano

the Lady wouldn't gaf about instruments just give her a triangle and she's going to be happy. and throw it at people. like i really tried to think about it but she has better things to do </3

do I wanna say Cahara plays some old-timey string instrument again? I'd say the closest thing to a guitar you can pick, he can probably play it; Enki was probably taught to play some instruments in case they were necessary for some spells, but never picked them up again afterwards. Anyway he's cello coded

okay here we go someone give Eugénie a violin I think she'd have fun. And a guitar to Bonnie. I wanna say electric guitar that'd be funny. and I bet you're thinking Venigni is a piano or a cello-- WRONG he's percussion coded to me. Give him some drums and let him let loose he'd have so much fun

166 was probably taught to play some instruments while in the convent, but even if she occasionally played the organ during masses I do see her play the flute much more, and it fits her much better. on the contrary Shaw isn't allowed anymore to play the drums after. The Incidents. it's okay bc he's cymbals coded to me instead tho

...this sure took a while to reply fnsdg ]

Which of your muse(s) is your complete opposite?

[ EASY SCP-166 and Zazel. i could pick the Skintaker and Karl as well instead of our Ringleader, but they have a whole sad backstory going on. 166 is a good Christian girl who's also the daughter of the Goddess of Nature, while Zazel is some fucked up girlie who experimented on herself to become half-eldritch being and holds epic tournament where people fight to the death

alternatively 166 and Micolash but he didn't recieve godhood yet so no matter how many people he sacrificed to enter the Nightmare he's still a step lower to literally pinkie pie if she had a gun ]

[teddybeartoji]

AAAAAAA SO EXCITED FOR YOU TO WATCH PAPRIKA AAAAAAAAA ITS SOOO GOOODDD!!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU DO

isle of dogs omg.. waterfalls from my eyes that movie made me cry especially the ���idk why i bite’ scene ohh good heavens what did u think of it?

OMGGG I ALSO LOVE REWATCHING STUFF INSTEAD OF WATCHING NEW ONES two film bros but on the other ends of the spectrum… (we’re both little nerds)

david flincher ahh he’s so good omg i never watched fight club because i was sooo full of my self and swore i wasn’t “like other film fans” (ummm i was lying i love all the classics) but i secretly wanted to watch it right? but since i never watched it on time the plot twist of the movie was spoiled to me by a video from a comedy youtuber LOLLL i was so annoyed at myself

SOCIAL NETWORKK YESS i loved that movie idk i like jesse eisenberg he’s a silly awkward lil guy he did a good job!!

OH GUY RITCHIE!! dont kill me but i havent seen many of his films aaaa will make sure to check out his stuff aaaaa

TARANTINO LOL no i get it he’s good he has great films i have a pulp fiction poster in my rolm (never beating the film bro allegations) his films are very well done

INDIANA JONES YIPPEEE my first introduction to the franchise was through a lego game my mom got me for christmas… changed the trajectory of my life im afraid…. which indiana jones film is your favorite? mine has to be the last crusade its such a fun movie to me!!!!

i saw u also like video games :333 im a huge video game nerd ehehehe do you have any favorites?

HI HELLO MY FELLOW FILM BRO HIII:333333333333 I HOPE YOU'VE BEEN DOING WELL!!!!!! OKE BUT THE "I DON'T KNOW WHY I BITE" SCENE WAS SOOOO WAHHHH THAT HIS TO HARD:(((((((((((((((((((((((((( i loved that film so fucking much

NOOOO NOT THE SPOILED FIGHT CLUB PLOTT THAT'S SO UNFORTUNATE!!!!!!!!!!!! i actually only saw it like two years back and i truly don't even know how i managed to avoid the spoilers.. or maybe i just like blurred them out in my head bc the plot twist was soo so delicious when i did finally watch it i liked it a lot!!!!!!!!!! but yeah it's one of my feel good films lmao i think it's so so funny and i love the soundtrack too!!! OH AND JESSE EISENBERGG!!!!! HE'S FUCKING AMAZING IN THE SOCIAL NETWORK he scratches my brain so good

AAA DON'T YOU EVEN WORRY ABT GUY RITCHIE!!!!!!!!!!! i really don't judge others for what they have seen and for what they haven't bc like.. ppl have lives and stuff to do and also i feel like people's experiences with films can be so different purely based on their childhoods and their parents. liiike i've always been a big movie Watcher bc of my dad!!!! he took me to the cinema a lot a lot when i was younger so obviously it's like second nature to me in a way. sorry i'm like rambling abt it now but i just remember how at my last workplace i tended to talk abt films a lot too and then my coworkers were constantly apologizing for not having seen most of them and i was just always trying to reassure them that i really don't judge them for it. i was just trying to recommend them stuff in a sense of . i hope you'll remember that i once said it was good and not in like a Oh i hope you go home and watch it right away and report back to me . LIKE NOOO😭😭😭 everybody should watch what they want and when they want. there are like a million billion different films out there it's not really a competition of who gets to watch all of them first lmao

oh this also reminded me of smth that irked me off so bad,, i was talking to this other coworker and i was telling her that i'm gonna go and see babylon. they said that the name doesn't ring a bell and i was just like ohh!! it's by damien chazelle but that didn't ring any bells either WHICH I THINK IS VERY OKAY ppl aren't good with names and i get that, so i brought up whiplash bc yk that's his most known film right and then she was like OHHHH and told me that she's heard abt it but she hasn't seen it. which is again. very normal😭😭😭 i definitely know some ppl who would make a bit of a scene like OH WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T SEEN WHIPLASH IT'S SUCH A BIG FILM WDYM WDYM but i genuinely do not care i just said that ok and that i recommend it to her bc it is good.

and then i remembered that oH la la land also exists lmao and then she just beamed at me like OOOMG I LOVE LA LA LAND IT'S SO GOOD I LOVE IT SO MUCH aaaand then it was my turn to be like. oh i actually haven't seen that one yet lmao

and.

THEN SHE MADE A SCENE ABT IT. ALL HUFFING AND PUFFING WITH HER JAW ON THE FLOOR LIKE😱😱😱😱😱MICKEY THE MOVIE WATCHER HASN'T SEEN LA LA LAND WHAT IS THIS MADNESS HOW CAN THIS BE like can you be fucking serious lmao this made me so mad i would argue that whiplash is bigger than la la land but i didn't say anything abt you not having seen it but now here you are jumping in my face abt la la land............ HHHHHHHHHhh anyway yeah. i think everybody should be a little more calm abt what some ppl have seen and what they haven't thank you for coming to my ted talk hgasghdaghdghashdha

HAHAHHAAH PLSS I WANT THAT PULP FICTION POSTER TOOO that's so cool i would be the proudest film bro ever lmao

ALSO. HELLO. I ALSO PLAYED THE LEGO INDIANA JONES GAME😭😭😭 IT WAS MY FIRST FIRST GAME EVER!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVED IT SO MUCH i think i still have it somewhere too lmao but yeah indiana jones is my childhood i love the films so much,, mmmmmm if i had to pick my favourite one though........................... HARDEST QUESTION EVER BTWWWWWW god the third one is so fucking good i love the dynamic between indy and his dad sm i adore them buuuut hmmm i think it's either that or the first one for me!!!!! i really can't pick one i'm sorry lmao the second one is amazing too but I LOVEEE MARION SOOOSO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE MEANS SM TO MEEE SHE'S SOO FUCKING COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now now noww... video games.... ohhhhh broooother lmao i could talk abt my faves for hours on end i think but since this reply has gotten so long already i'm just gonna say what they are in an attempt to keep it normal😭😭😭 MY ALLLL TIME FAVOURITE GAME IS THE LAST OF US PART TWOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! genuinely could make like a 12h presentation abt it without any prep lmao i am very obsessed with it. but i also love rdr2, the last two god of war games, tlou1 ofc!!!! UNTIL DAWN!!!!!!!! uncharted!!!!!!! ghost of tsushima!!!!!!!!!!! resident evil but esp the second one and mmmm i recently played the newest dead space remake and i really fucking liked that too that shit was scary as hell wtf...........

I'M SURE THERE ARE MORE GAMES ACTUALLY BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH OK NOW IT'S YOUR TIME TO SPEAK😭😭😭😭😭😭 so please please pretty please tell me abt the video games you like!!!!!!! aand any other movies that come into your head okay i wanna hear all abt them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[netegf]

FINALLY HOME AND READY TO READ!!!! 🥰🥰🥰🩷🩷🩷🩷 been soooo eager but i really wanted to give it the time and attention it deserves and ikkkk this is gonna hurt so good <333 !!!!!

"I want to know more than this. I will learn, and I will work hard, and I will fight, but Vi, one day, you and me, we'll be free of this. Free to do whatever we want, free to spend our days like the humans in the movies, just happy and ourselves. Wouldn't you like that?"

from the get go, this has me so soft 🥺💖💖💖 first of all, neteyam putting his head in vi's lap is so ❤️❤️❤️ !!!!! [heart exploding] + the thought of them watching human tv and movies so so domestic and soft.. it is such a stark contrast from where they are today :(( also the idea that our human media brings them home is adorable pls.

You wondered if it was fate, or Eywa's doing, that O'i'en was the first person you ran into, even as you were trying to avoid any semblance of another soul, the guilt and sadness mingling in you with flashes of worst-case scenarios, ones in which your distracted mind led to deaths that you will forever carry on your shoulders, that you will forever blame yourself for, that you were sure other people would, too, ones which you were too scared to prove and too spent to disprove, so you settled for ignorance and denial, at least until you found your ikran.

STOP IM SO CONFLICTED bc i was so happy to see o'i'en back for this cameo!!!! but the context is so heart-breaking 😭😭😭😭 it felt like that "I don't even treat you that good, girl, why you smilin'?" drake meme 🤣🤣🤣🩷🩷🩷

seeing vi rush out of treatment while she's injured to find oare, knowing what's happened is so sad i can't :'((( poor baby

Your tears mingled with his own as they collapsed on your feet and on the grass, and you forgot for a second of your rule - no crying in front of people. You forgot this as you forgot everything else, even your own name pushed from your memory as it was flooded instead with images of her, of your sister, that you loved so much, that you cherished deeply, that you thought you’d be able to for the rest of your life, that you were now told was gone, taken from you, in spite of you… because of you. “No…Oare, no…” “She’s with Eywa now… I’m so sorry.”

i 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 am 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 okay 😭😭😭😭!!!!!!!!!!

“No, we’re not doing this shit anymore. My ikran is dead. People are dead, Neteyam. All because of us, because this stupid war, that you caused. That you started. I’m done with the games, and the mystery, and your stupid mouth staying shut. You don’t know? Figure it out. Now.”

i am so here for vi demanding answers and really needing neteyam to vocalize what he's feeling / BEEN feeling all this time !!!! she is legitimately a BOSS and i admire the way you write her so much andra!!! 🥹🥹🥹💖💖💖💖 when i imagine the frustration and borderline numbness she feels at this moment... 😭😭😭😭 she is in so much pain and is not playing around!!!

"It meant everything! And my father fucking ruined it, and you ruined it. You ruined it, and I'll never, ever forgive you." the intensity behind his eyes, glistening with unshed tears that reflected the rays of the sun hitting his golden irises, the ones that put stars to shame and brought you to your knees, scared you. You came here to cry, and let it out. You came here to mourn. You didn't expect this. Didn't want this. But, for the first time in years, Neteyam was talking to you. Neteyam was telling you truths buried deep within his soul, deep behind walls you've tried to climb and pierce through longer than you wanted to admit to, and given the little crack of light you saw shine through, you knew you couldn't let this opportunity pass you by.

me gasping like LITERALLY every other word because this relay of dialogue was so fucking captivating and cathartic!!!! i literally LOVED seeing them both let it all out 😫😫😫😫🩵🩵🩵

He was rough as he pushed you until you tipped backwards, but his caress was gentle as he caught you and made sure you weren't hurt as your body hit the damp, soft grass. When he spread your legs and kneeled in between them, you knew you whatever ounce of self-restraint you had was swiftly thrown out the window, and you knew the relief you'd get to feel once he was done with you would be worth the regret in the morning - at least, it felt so right now. His fingers dug into your thighs as they massaged upwards, from your shins to your hips, and when both his thumbs caressed the sensitive spot at the edge of your loincloth, your breath hitched in your throat, silently begging him for more, hoping he wouldn't make you say words out loud you could never take back.

my stomach is in my THROOOOOOAATTTTT 💖💖💖💖 !!!!!!! the tension build-up, the candor from both of them, this release of feelings and emotions and urges is EVERYTHING!!

"It had to be someone who had no resemblance to you. It had to, Vi. Don't you understand? Because any time I looked at anyone, I saw you in them. Their eyes, or lips, their tanhì or stripes, even the smallest similarity killed me, reminded me how much I hate you, how much I want to, how much I don't. I've wanted to hate you so much, I tried so hard, but you were in every dream, in every fantasy, you haunted me my whole life."

stop stop stop this is literally making my whole body melt 😭😭😭😭😭🩷🩷🩷🩷 i love this dialogue because it makes soooo much sense to me given the context of the story, but also because i imagine how vi would have interpreted this so differently in real time... like it would have just looked like neteyam wanted nothing to do with her anymore and that she's nothing like the girls he's interested in!

It was almost... domestic, the way he was asleep peacefully next to you, his breath so steady and deep, and so relaxed, it almost sounded like purring, his strong, muscular arms holding you close as you lay on your back, looking at the stars, bright, blurry orbs through the distorted lens of your tears, that couldn't stop falling, no matter how much you willed them away. The crash did come eventually, in the few hours since, and it felt like it broke all your bones in the process.

i love how we we end with this really domestic imagine, the same way we started the chapter with one 🥹🥹🥹 this fic is ART !!!!! so carefully crafted !!!!!😭😭💖💖💖

You and Neteyam rose and fell together, over and over again, your whole lives. A twisted carousel that wouldn't stop until one of you jumped off it, and with Oare's death, and the shame that followed it, you finally realised it had to be you.

+

“Ma Tsa’hik. I’m here to ask you to let me out of this arrangement. Please. I can’t do this, not with Neteyam. I’m done.”

ANDRAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 💔💔💔

i am in pain and my heart hurts but i also LOVE THIS ENDING bc it's so juicy and angsty 😫😫😫🩷🩷🩷🩷 i feel like she must be so overwhelmed in this moment so honestly i understand where she's coming from and i am SOOOO hyped to see how neteyam reacts to this next chapter AAAAAA!!!!!!!

incredible work as always i am in constant awe of your genius! 🥰🥰🥰

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕍𝕀𝕀: 𝕄𝕒𝕪𝕓𝕖 𝕎𝕖'𝕧𝕖 ℍ𝕒𝕕 𝔼𝕟𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙

Pairing: Neteyam x (f)Omaticaya!Reader

synopsis: You and Neteyam finally confront each other, after a seven year war that left you broken and bruised.

warnings: 18+ minors DNI, aged-up! Neteyam/Reader, enemies-to-lovers, angst (mentions of violence, battle, blood, death, confrontation, admission of feelings), smut, strong language.

wc: 7k words

a/n: we're almost at the end, besties. i want to say a massive thank you for being patient with me, i have struggled with writer's block for a while now, and my life is incredibly hectic at the moment, but thank you for continuing to inspire me to write this story that has come to mean so much to me :(. i hope you enjoy this chapter, that i once again somehow feel weirdly insecure about hahaha, and i hope you'll find it was worth the wait. also this is only mildly proof read bc i am exhausted and i need to sleep ;((( i'll come back to it in the morning i promise x (also pls someone comment on the fact in the photo vi's looking up and he's looking down cause you know - rise and fall together and all)

pls don't forget to leave a comment or a reblog and tell me your thoughts, i loveee to hear from you so much!

na'vi compendium: txepvi  - spark, oare - moon, nawm - great, syä - bitter, tanhì - bioluminescent freckle, tewng - loincloth, tsakarem - tsa'hik in training, yawne - beloved

: ̗̀➛ previous chapter (x) : ̗̀➛ series masterlist (x) : ̗̀➛ series playlist (x)

I carved my name into your ribcage We talked of lands away from this cage

"Dad always talks about Earth as if it was a dying hole, but... I don't know."

Neteyam's head was positioned snugly in your lap as you both stared intently at the sky, trying to make sense of the shapes of clouds, and the way they passed you by like birds in the night sky, never to be seen again, just a memento of the present and how every moment was unique and precious, and needed to be cherished. You both loved doing that, in between practice sessions, or before, or after, a way to ground you and remind you there's still beauty in this world outside of what you were being taught, of how everything was in preparation for a grisly reality you both struggled to come to terms with.

"Yes?"

"The little videos we've seen, of the movies and shows Norm and Max and the other humans like to watch... and the books they make us read during English lessons and the music... it doesn't seem that bad, you know? It seems they were happy, and... good. It seemed they lived for more than just fighting and greed, more than this."

You thought about it for a while. He was right. Humans were... beautiful, in their own ways. They had love and heart and soul in a way you never thought possible - it seemed there was always beauty to be found even in the darkest of corners, even in the most unsightly of places, and that gave you hope.

"I want to be more than this, too."

Your eyes snapped from the sky to him, and his eyes met yours, boring into you with a vehemence that almost scared you. When he rose from his spot, he faced you, his face so close to yours you could feel his breath fanning over you, and your heart stumbled in your chest at the proximity and the way his smile always managed to take your breath away.

"I want to know more than this. I will learn, and I will work hard, and I will fight, but Vi, one day, you and me, we'll be free of this. Free to do whatever we want, free to spend our days like the humans in the movies, just happy and ourselves. Wouldn't you like that?"

"Yes. I'd like that."

You said, don't fret love, someday I'll be my own man, I'll be free Oh, but darling, did you mean Darling, did you mean free from me?

“O’i’en…” your voice was hoarse and barely there, a croaking whisper you hardly recognised as your own, but still there. You were still here, and at least for that, you were grateful. Because there was more to your life. So much more you wanted to do and see, so much you felt you were made for and deserved, so much you still have to repent and atone for. Your mind was scrambled with visions of your past, so many of them you’ve lost count, the continuous onslaught barely ceasing as you woke, and you still felt like in a liminal state of being, not quite dead, but not quite alive, either. In those dreams, images of your old Neteyam were intertwined with his face now, much colder, much wiser, somehow even more beautiful, and confessions of “I love you” mingled with hushed whispers of “why is she not awake yet?” and commotion beyond your understanding. You needed answers. The battle, that now felt like a lifetime away to you, also somehow felt like it had just finished, and you rose from your spot with only one thought in mind: Oare was hurt. She was shot, and you needed to find her. 

You wondered if it was fate, or Eywa's doing, that O'i'en was the first person you ran into, even as you were trying to avoid any semblance of another soul, the guilt and sadness mingling in you with flashes of worst-case scenarios, ones in which your distracted mind led to deaths that you will forever carry on your shoulders, that you will forever blame yourself for, that you were sure other people would, too, ones which you were too scared to prove and too spent to disprove, so you settled for ignorance and denial, at least until you found your ikran.

"Oh, Eywa, you're alive!" you were taken aback by his surprise, and by his pure, unadulterated relief and happiness as his eyes found your form, limping and bruised, with bloodied and torn garments and yet still... alive. You didn’t think O’i’en would ever want to see you again, much less acknowledge you or talk to you, but here he was, running, as much as he could, the gash in his leg preventing him from any true momentum, but still, he ran to you and enveloped you in a big hug, that you couldn’t help but reciprocate, melting into his all-too-familiar touch that’s always felt comforting and safe, and never bruising or cold.

You sighed as your mind, much as it always did, brought to its forefront another face, another body, another man that never ceased to pull you out of the moment and into whatever fantasy your mind concocted to replace reality with. As you tightened your arms around him, your palms flat against his back, you noticed your fingers being coated in warm liquid, and the feel of it, as well as the smell of metal that hit you immediately after, made you gasp and break the embrace, using whatever force you had to turn him around and inspect the wound you knew had to be bad enough, if so much blood was pouring out of it, but still couldn’t help be shocked when you were proven right. 

“Fuck, your back…”

“I know… I haven’t had the chance to go see the healers yet.” 

“You haven’t ha- are you serious right now? Come, let’s go now.” You almost forgot about the your plan to avoid people, too concerned for the ugly looking gash pulsating blood that trickled down his toned back, until it soaked in his soiled tewng. He didn’t let you move him, instead taking your wrists in his hand and holding you still. 

“You look like you’re about to collapse, how are you still so bossy? Besides… there’s people who need it more than me.” The purple twinge in his cheeks let you know this wasn’t quite the truth. Not the whole truth. O’i’en was the most selfless person you’ve ever met, and yet, this wasn’t the whole truth. You looked tired and broken, scared and forlorn, and yet, with all your might, you tried to contort your face into something you hoped resembled the way Jake would raise the hairs above his eyes in a clearly disapproving expression, and while you lacked the most important aspect of that whole stare, it clearly worked, because he winced and broke the look you shared, choosing a spot on the ground instead. 

“After… everything, I just didn’t know if I could…or should… go get help from the Tsa’hik. It feels like everywhere I look, you follow. I knew you were hurt as well, and I didn’t know if I could handle seeing you like that, or seeing you at all. But now that you’re here, I realise… I’m just happy you’re alive.”

You smiled, a small feat that felt like the hardest task you’ve ever been assigned, but still, you were glad to know there was still something salvageable about your relationship with the man you once thought you’d spent the rest of your life with. 

“Come, sit. I’ll clean the wound myself.”

“You shouldn’t-“ He stopped when he noticed your look. You were too tired to be trifled with, and he was smart enough to know that. 

You promised home, the kind I'd never known But here we are, skin and flesh and beating hearts And I'm wondering what the hell I'm doing wrong

You worked in silence, as much as you could, the thoughts spiralling in your head, worse with each passing second, and although you didn’t want to ask, you knew you couldn’t avoid it any longer, not when he looked so sad and despondent, not when the gash in his back spoke to a battle fiercer than you wanted to picture, not when you couldn’t help wonder if it was all on you. With a sigh, you spoke, and watched as he went rigid with every word uttered.

“What happened, O’i’en?” 

“What do you remember?”

“Nothing. I remember falling… i remember Oare getting shot.” You wince at the memory, at how it was your unsteady, tired, distracted mind that made her a vulnerable target. 

“Nothing else.”

O'i'en's whole body stiffened, and your hand stilled midair, shivers pulsating in your body as dread enveloped it.

“What. Happened. O’i’en?” 

"After you fell... the battle... took a turn for the worse. A lot of Na'vi died, a lot of our mounts died, too..."

"The Olo'eyktan and Tsakarem tried their best, we all did, but without you and Neteyam..."

The guilt that was big enough to almost crumble you into a mess of sobs and broken shards on the ground dulled just for a moment while his words rang in your ears, echoing until they clicked, until you made sense of their meaning.

"Neteyam...? Where was Neteyam, why wasn't he fighting?"

His body turns to face you again, his barely patched-up wound forgotten in the moment that felt ever-lasting, but not like how time stands still as you're enveloped in a kiss, but like a nightmare you can't escape from, where a moment lasts hours, where every scream is expelled in slow-motion and the monsters get closer and closer with each breath that gets lodged in your dry, hoarse throat.

"He tried to catch you, but couldn't. I think he took you back to the village. He didn't return after. They say..."

"They say he hasn't left your tent since. We've all been working, trying to get everyone back, ready for the funeral, but he... he never left the Tsa'hik's tent."

"You're wrong." What he was saying made no sense. Neteyam has done nothing but wish for your demise ever since you were both nothing more than mere children. His hatred never diminished through time, and neither did yours. You both despised each other more and more each day, with every year passed, with every instance in which neither of you relented or found it in you to be better and take the high road. This whole ordeal, this whole nightmare that only started when you woke up, it was his fault. The fact that so many people died, that you were in this state, that Oare.... fuck. Oare.

“Where are you going? You need to take it easy.” 

“I need to find her. I need to make sure she’s ok, she’s probably in pain and suffering and I should be the-“

You stop when you notice his grieving grimace, his eyes fixed on the ground, tears falling at his feet, that you followed from his eyes to their demise as they splattered on the ground, the droplets hitting your ankles in the process. 

“No.” 

Silence. Dead silence. Death silence. Silence that you couldn’t help fill with a crescendo of denial, louder and higher pitched with every new attempt. 

“No, please. Tell me you’re wrong.” 

“I saw her… in the lineup.”

“The lineup?” 

“Of all the dead… dead animals and na’vi. So many of them, i lost count. She was there… I’m so sorry.” 

Your tears mingled with his own as they collapsed on your feet and on the grass, and you forgot for a second of your rule - no crying in front of people. You forgot this as you forgot everything else, even your own name pushed from your memory as it was flooded instead with images of her, of your sister, that you loved so much, that you cherished deeply, that you thought you’d be able to for the rest of your life, that you were now told was gone, taken from you, in spite of you… because of you.

“No…Oare, no…”

“She’s with Eywa now… I’m so sorry.”

You said, "Let's make ourselves our very own brigade, this love our shield, our blade" Oh, but darling do you see the cuts from which I bleed? It's me you've slain

"Have you seen her? Have you seen syä?"

"What do you mean, Lo'ak?"

"She's gone, bro. She's not in grandmother's tent anymore."

Neteyam felt the blood drain from his face and settle at the soles of his feet, trickling through and into the ground, until he was so empty he felt faint, he felt like he would never be the same again. So many emotions tried him, from ecstatic relief that he couldn’t even explain to himself, at the fact that you were awake, and well enough to walk, to paralysing fear that overwhelmed him, at the fact you were out in your state, that you were gone Eywa knows where, at the fact he’s now going to have to face you and talk to you.

Too many things have changed in such a short amount of time, so many things he couldn’t make sense of or understand, too many revelations and the possibility of more, of the truth, that Neteyam dreaded. A lose-lose situation, his dad would call it - either he confronted you and you told him his father misunderstood, that it wasn’t true, that you too loved him the way he loved you, which meant the last seven years of both your lives, everything you have put each other through would have been for nothing, or his father was right, and having a confirmation of your lack of feelings, which is what he thought fuelled your actions all these years, which was a truth he avoided knowing for a fact for so long, and that might be too hard to bear after all.

“We have to find her, grandma said she shouldn’t be walking around.”

“I know where she is.”

He’s always known where you were when you wanted to be alone. He’s always known because it’s a place that used to be his, his secret spot, his uncharted paradise. A place that he showed to you when you were both children, and that became a safe heaven for the both of you in time, that you took from him after your unfortunate fallout. Just one more thing you ended up taking from him in time. He couldn’t have returned to this place anyway, not with all the memories of you that plagued it, that might as well have been enclosed in a room stuck in a past that he never wanted to revisit. 

It took him no time at all to find you, his mind disassociating from the walk, until it was like he blinked and he was there, in the clearing that he dreaded coming to, where the last time he came, he took it too far, the memory of the words that you spat at each other, the way his anger physically manifested itself for the first time in his life, the way he lost control of his emotions and his temper, it was all so ugly and unsightly, it hurt him even thinking about it.

Your back was turned to him as you lay on the edge of the lake, one leg dangling mindlessly in the water, and Neteyam’s heart dropped to his stomach at the sight of you - your hunched shoulders, so far removed from the awe-inspiring, empowered stance you normally displayed to people. Your tail was thrashing furiously from side to side, ears pushed flat against your head that rested on your bent knee, braided hair tousled and unkept as it fell over your face, shielding you from view. Neteyam didn’t even know whether he should speak - if there was still a voice in his throat that could push sounds out, and as he tried, he heard nothing, the only sound in his ears one of muffled, panted breaths and thunderous, erratic heartbeats, that somehow drowned everything else out. 

"Leave."

Neteyam ignored your words, all of his senses focused on your voice, on the sniffles that accompanied it, and what they represented. Neteyam has seen you cry only a couple times in all the time he's known you, and not once since your fallout. He was sure you would have rather swallowed a poisoned knife's blade than show weakness in front of him. He gulped audibly when he realised that if you did, that means you knew... if you did, there was no escaping the wrath that was currently embedded in your soul, that he wasn't sure would ever leave you again.

“Why are you here? You should be resting.”

He heard you scoff, bitterness laced through your voice that normally was sweet as a yovo fruit on a summer day, that now felt spoilt, like it had been left rotting on the ground, with no one the wiser.

“Since when do you care about my wellbeing, huh? Last thing I knew I could be dead in a ditch and you’d probably throw a party and dance over my grave. Leave me be, I don't want to deal with you right now.” 

"Txepvi... Just co-"

"Don't you dare call me that. You have long forsaken the right to call me that. Just fucking leave, Neteyam."

He felt anger pricking at him like a dagger he was all too familiar with, that was dull and middling, but whose sting still hurt if pushed into his skin at the correct angle, in the right spot, where he was weak.

"I'm not leaving until you get back to the tent. Tsa'hik's orders." That was a lie, but one he felt at liberty to make, since it was quite certain his grandmother would want you back resting, and not galavanting in the woods, with a wound that almost killed you, that made you easy prey for the apex predators lurking in the thick foliage.

I didn't obliterate these walls for you to come and raid my home And here you are right next to me Ironically, I've never felt more alone

“Why did you stay with me?” 

Whatever anger he had immediately dissipated like droplets water of a hot day, replaced by the same fear that was plaguing him early, that not even the adrenaline coursing through his veins could overpower. What was he supposed to say? It's not like he had an answer to give you - he couldn't even conceptualise it for himself, much less put it into words that would make sense, that would ever satisfy your morbid curiosity.

“Answer me, Neteyam.” 

“I don’t know.” 

You rose from your spot on the edge of the lake, and when you turned to face him and your eyes locked, his breath lodged in his throat. You looked anguished, sadder than he's ever seen you, puffy eyes so red, it scared him, cheeks purple and stained, and swollen, wet lips opened to accommodate the heaved breaths and quiet sobs that you tried your hardest to push down, so that he wouldn't see.

It was too late, now. He could see. He could see it all, and it scared him, what you were doing to him, these feelings that were rushing down with enough force to make him buckle under their weight, just like a waterfall that crashed into the river below, warping it with its power.

“No, we’re not doing this shit anymore. My ikran is dead. People are dead, Neteyam. All because of us, because this stupid war, that you caused. That you started. I’m done with the games, and the mystery, and your stupid mouth staying shut. You don’t know? Figure it out. Now.”

I fell for you faster than I fell apart And I guess I'm the one to blame for letting myself fall too hard

"I don't fucking know, OK? I just needed to - fuck. I needed to make sure you'll live."

"Why?! Why the fuck would you care if I live or die? Why? You haven't cared for more than half our lives, and now, when you would have been more useful on the battlefield, when you could have prevented this mess that you caused to begin with, now you want to play the fucking hero?"

“That I started? Are you hearing yourself right now? I wasn’t the one that pushed, and pushed, and pushed until whatever thread it was that still bound us together turned from wool to steel and snapped, yawne. You made it your life purpose to ruin mine, at every turn, in every way imaginable, for years. I did nothing to you, damn it. I just stopped talking to you. I didn’t hurt you, or purposefully tried to make you ache or suffer, I tried to keep my mouth shut and go about my life, without infringing on yours. I didn’t do anything to hurt you, for fuck’s sa-“

“You keeping your mouth shut and going about your life as if your life wasn’t impermeably connected to mine was what fucking hurt me, Neteyam! You saying nothing, doing nothing, acting like I didn’t exist, like I was just a toy you outgrew, that was worse than anything I could have ever fucking done to you, don’t you understand that? Do you understand that you abandoned me? Me, Neteyam, the person who was always there for you, the person who always had your back. Your best friend, your confidant, your training buddy, your sister. I was everything to you, and you just acted like that meant nothing at all."

"It meant everything! And my father fucking ruined it, and you ruined it. You ruined it, and I'll never, ever forgive you." the intensity behind his eyes, glistening with unshed tears that reflected the rays of the sun hitting his golden irises, the ones that put stars to shame and brought you to your knees, scared you. You came here to cry, and let it out. You came here to mourn. You didn't expect this. Didn't want this. But, for the first time in years, Neteyam was talking to you. Neteyam was telling you truths buried deep within his soul, deep behind walls you've tried to climb and pierce through longer than you wanted to admit to, and given the little crack of light you saw shine through, you knew you couldn't let this opportunity pass you by.

"What do you mean?"

He looked tired, you realised faintly. It was true... he did stay with you. His face was sunken and caved in, dark purple bags under his eyes, and you traced the tears that brightened his tanhì momentarily, as they caressed his skin, before falling down his neck.

"Tell me it's not true, what you said to him all those years ago. Tell me he didn't hear you right. That he misunderstood."

"Who?"

"My dad. I heard him... telling my grandmother that you'd never want to mate with me. Or be Tsa'hik. He said you said that. Tell me he was wrong. Tell me I was wrong for believing him. Tell me I was an idiot for not coming to you sooner, for shutting you out of my life. For letting this break me. Please."

Shock stilled you in your spot, replacing blood with current that electrified every ounce of your being. What? After all this time, so much time that kids were born and grew up, time in which you watched Tuk go from barely a babe to a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, beautiful girl, time in which you gained and lost your ikran, in which you gained a family and lost the future you thought you were always made for, next to the person you thought you'd always have your back... so much time has passed, and to hear it, the reason, was so unbelievable it didn't feel like it was real. You thought about the conversation that he was referring to, that you had with Jake in what feels like a completely life to the one you were currently living. He did ask you, and you did say...

"He wasn't wrong."

I ripped my heart out and put it in your hands in hopes that we'd put up a fight How paradoxical, since now all I can think about is when will we stop trying

You watched as the intensity on his face was decimated in an instant, his eyes blank and distant as all life seemed to drain from them as you spoke words that you spat without truly even thinking about it. Oare's death, still so fresh in your mind, hurt so much, made every fibre of your being scream in agony, and this new revelation, of the reason of her death being attributed to something you said as a little kid in passing, that he overheard and never bothered to fact-check, made what little sanity you had left to evaporate and what remained was a bitter precipitate of fury and pain, that you wanted him to feel, that you needed to inflict.

"This is why Oare's dead? This is why so many people are dead, because of one comment I made to your father seven years ago in passing? Are you fucking kidding me?"

Your teeth were bared as you spoke, and the emptiness behind his eyes was replaced with furious anger as he listened, as he realised you had no intention of putting his mind or heart at ease, as you realised he didn't deserve it. Not after everything that's happened, not after the way your soul crashed and imploded inside your body at the guilt that ate you alive, that churned and ground your bones into fine dust, guilt that will never, ever leave you.

“I was just a fucking child, don’t you understand that? Do you understand how insane it is to punish me for something that happened when I was just twelve years old?!"

“Well, you know what? I was also just twelve years old! And I loved you, Vi.” The break in his voice hurt you, like a shard of glass plunged in the soft of your skin, and you looked down to try to see if blood was coming out of the wound that wasn't there. There was nothing. Just emptiness, like the vast chasm that separated you, that always will, no matter the fact he was so close to you, you could feel his breath over your face, your scent in your nostrils, his glistening eyes big as planets, eyes you could get lost in easily, you could fall into as easily as falling asleep.

Seeing the unshed tears once more made tears gather in your own. The nickname, that you haven’t heard in all these years, that felt like a relic from a life long forgotten, long forsaken, knocked the air out of you, just as much as his vulnerability, that you weren’t used to seeing anymore did.

“I fucking loved you. You were everything to me. And you broke me.” 

“I had to watch you prove me right every day of my life. Watched as you fought every day to push me away from my own family, and my own dad, who obviously always found you better than me. Watched as you moved on, with no issue, and dated Na’vi after Na’vi, letting them touch you and kiss you, knowing I could see it, in practice, where I always was, I- “

“You fucking did the same thing! You pushed me away, you never talked to me. You abandoned me, without as much as a goodbye. Without any explanation. You fucked girls anywhere I could see, behind my tent, so I could hear you. You chose them all so they bore no resemblance to me, so I could know how much you hated me, every time I saw their faces. You ruined my relationship with the one person who loved me, who was good for me. You fu-"

All you do is blindside me, it's hard to be brave But when the night cuts into the day, it's your love I crave I must've thanked my lucky stars too much They left me sitting in too much dust

Your sentence was cut short by a pair of lips crashing into yours, soft and desperate, clinging on to you like his fingers were wrapped tightly around your throat, like if letting go was unimaginable, like it was too painful to envision. In your dreams, Neteyam's lips were bruising and calloused and cold, and no matter how fiercely you wanted to protest, no matter how much you hated yourself for it, they were the only lips you ever dreamt about. And yet right now, they were nothing like you imagined, nothing like you feared, and despite the hurt, and the pain and the anguish and the anger, despite it all, you couldn't help reciprocating, couldn't help the moan the left you as his other hand found your hips, holding you impossibly closer, while your own hands found the back of his neck and his hair, that you tugged on until he growled. When he broke the kiss and looked at you, hunger and ache clear in his bright eyes, that looked more black than yellow as his hand found your jaw, that he lifted to tilt your head back, pushing his thumb past your lips so you'd keep quiet, you let out a small whimper, and watched as his pupils dilated even more, almost overtaking his beautiful, molten irises.

"Just...Stop talking."

His lips found the place on your jaw where his fingers just were, and the feeling of him on you burned like molten lava, and you push your head back, giving him access to all of you. Your mind felt numb - a battle within itself as it was trying to come to terms with all the  crushing emotions that were fighting for dominion over your thoughts and your soul, each one more devastating than the last - from the guilt that you knew would plague you for the rest of your life, that you didn’t think you’d ever be able to overcome, to the grief of losing your spirit sister, to confusion over what you were doing, over wondering if this was a mistake, to the sadness at Neteyam’s confession and the knowledge he loved you, and you pushed him away without meaning to, to earth-shattering anger at the realisation that this whole ordeal started over nothing and could have been solved if he only ever talked to you and finally, to the hatred that still blossomed, even after all this time, and finally, the desire, pure, unadulterated desire to have him, to be owned, to know what it feels like to be wholly his. You didn’t know which one would win, but you could only hope there’ll still be something left of you when the battle found its victor in the midst of all the chaos. 

He was rough as he pushed you until you tipped backwards, but his caress was gentle as he caught you and made sure you weren't hurt as your body hit the damp, soft grass. When he spread your legs and kneeled in between them, you knew you whatever ounce of self-restraint you had was swiftly thrown out the window, and you knew the relief you'd get to feel once he was done with you would be worth the regret in the morning - at least, it felt so right now. His fingers dug into your thighs as they massaged upwards, from your shins to your hips, and when both his thumbs caressed the sensitive spot at the edge of your loincloth, your breath hitched in your throat, silently begging him for more, hoping he wouldn't make you say words out loud you could never take back.

As if he could hear your thoughts, he spoke, his hands stilling on the knot of your tewng.

"Tell me you want this. I need to know you want this, or I stop."

You hissed at him, conflicted beyond words and reason, because no, of course you didn't. But yes, you did. Of course you did.

"I hate you. I fucking hate you, Neteyam."

At your words, his hands dropped from your hips and in an instant, he was on top of you, his gaze stopping the breath in your lungs as he looked at you, his hand gripping your throat once more, the aggressive gesture at odds with the softness in his eyes and the way he was caressing your jaw in barely-there touches with his thumb.

"I hate you more. So much more. I still need an answer, yawne."

You stared daggers at him, and refused to talk, but as you wrapped your fingers around his cummerbund and pulled him in, until his lips met yours in a messy kiss of teeth and tongues, throbbing deep in you at the way he moaned in your mouth, you knew words were meaningless, and words couldn't convey the feelings that tormented you, anyway. You reached for his tewng and masterfully unwrapped it, feeling his cock spring free and slap against your abdomen, and the weight of it made you gasp, a smirk erupting from his face in response.

You needed him. You needed him to numb the pain the he created, that you created, you needed the emptiness that came from being filled to the brim, the fleeting peace that would come with the high that you knew he could provide, because it hurt. It all hurt, and you couldn't stand it. You reached your hand and wrapped your fingers around his length, your slick leaving a wet patch in the fabric, that was increasing in size by the second, just at the thought of how he'd feel stretching you out. He let out a small groan at the way you were caressing him, running your thumb over the slit, smearing the precum that was leaking, that you felt a sudden urge to taste.

"F-fuck!"

"Take off my tewng, Neteyam."

"For once in your life, you will not get to dictate how this goes."

Despite his words, he listened, and you winced at the weight of his body being lifted off you, instantly missing the contact and comfort it provided. But he wasn't gone long, as he removed your clothes, and you tried not too think of how good his gaze felt on you, how empowering the desire in his eyes as he took you in, how he had to lick his lips and swallow audibly, as if he was a starved man in a desert, and you were his fata morgana.

He took no time in attaching himself to you again, the thick head of his cock prodding at your entrance, and the velvety feel of him against your folds involuntarily makes you shut your eyes closed and your head push back, need heightening at the way he starts licking and sucking at your breast, leaving purple marks in the wake of his lips and tongue, that you want on every inch of you, that you wanted to cum on as he made your knees buckle and your vision spot.

His face finds a home in the crook of your neck as he slides inside you, taking his time to feel you, every inch of your walls, as they stretched to accommodate for his size, and it feels so good, too good, his cock in you, his tail around your thigh, his fingers tracing soothing patterns on your skin, or gripping at your waist, his breath on your neck, his teeth sinking in you so he could stop himself from telling you all the confessions bubbling in his chest, all the ways it's all making sense to him now, that he's never hated you, he's just hated not having you, not being able to call you his. Still, as he bottoms out in you, he can't help some of them from spilling out, the dam of his heart slowly coming apart at the seams.

"It had to be someone who had no resemblance to you. It had to, Vi. Don't you understand? Because any time I looked at anyone, I saw you in them. Their eyes, or lips, their tanhì or stripes, even the smallest similarity killed me, reminded me how much I hate you, how much I want to, how much I don't. I've wanted to hate you so much, I tried so hard, but you were in every dream, in every fantasy, you haunted me my whole life."

You did understand. You understood too well. That's why you chose O'i'en. Because he was nothing like the Neteyam you came to know in the years you became an adult. Because his touch was warm and made you feel nothing. Because his eyes bore no resemblance to his, the glimmer of amber nothing like the green flickers that felt like were Eywa's inspiration for the forest that surrounded you; O'i'en's tanhì were scattered like light through the leaves and branches of the trees, unlike Neteyam's, which were like the star dust that created all life in the Universe, that shone brighter than any light post, that shone so brightly, they led you home every night when you were young.

The tears gathered in your eyes as he started a steady pace of his hips, conflicting feelings tugging at the string of your already broken and torn apart heart, whose heart beats felt dragging and echoing, different to the two sounds you were used to, instead pulsating three syllables throughout your whole body, enveloping you and taking over your mind, forcing you to come to terms with issues you thought you buried so deeply, you'd never have to see again.

I hate you. I love you. I hate you. I love you. I hate you, I hate you....

I love you.

"Neteyam..."

"I know. You're doing so well for me. So well. Fuck, you feel so, so good."

You moan at his words, the desire bubbling inside of you quickly reaching heights you wouldn't mind falling from, being pushed from, so you could feel the euphoria that came along with falling, without having to worry about the inevitable crash that would follow, at least not right now.

"I can feel you squeezing me. Come for me, yawne. I need to feel you come all over my cock."

For the first time since he's called you that, the term of endearment didn't feel ironic or facetious, and for once in your life, you had no problem obeying his orders - when you came, you came violently, legs shaking and back arched, whimpers and moans pushing past your lips unrestrained, and the sounds made his cock twitch inside of you, his own orgasm so close he could taste it. He lets you ride your high fully before pulling out of you, thick ropes of iridescent cum painting your abdomen and chest, that, in your fucked out mind, you almost wish painted your still-throbbing walls instead.

You know all my dreams, you were one, so it seemed And I love you but with you, it's heartache I breathe You gave it your all, just with everything you took from me

It was almost... domestic, the way he was asleep peacefully next to you, his breath so steady and deep, and so relaxed, it almost sounded like purring, his strong, muscular arms holding you close as you lay on your back, looking at the stars, bright, blurry orbs through the distorted lens of your tears, that couldn't stop falling, no matter how much you willed them away. The crash did come eventually, in the few hours since, and it felt like it broke all your bones in the process.

"You and me, we're meant to rise and fall together."

Those words, that became the overarching theme of your relationship, words that you never realised when you spoke them as a child that you would both take so literally, rang in your ears like a broken record your mind could no longer turn off. You were right, all those years ago. Even back then, you knew. You and Neteyam did rise together. From children to adults, from pupils to teachers, from toy soldiers to hardened warriors, rose you did, until you were so high up, the air was thin and suffocating. But nothing compared to your penchant for falling. You fell hard, from grace, from cloud nine, for the other's other schemes and plots, for your own compulsions, obsessions and greedy desires, and mostly, for each other. Your relationship was fire and ice, it was everything and nothing all at once, a war you fought and a war you lost, a war in which innocents had to die and lives were lost, a war you were finally tired of.

You and Neteyam rose and fell together, over and over again, your whole lives. A twisted carousel that wouldn't stop until one of you jumped off it, and with Oare's death, and the shame that followed it, you finally realised it had to be you.

In the early hours of the morning, after a quick wash in the cold lake, you found your way back to the village and straight to the Tsa'hik's tent. You were happy to see her, and nervous to talk, but you knew the quicker you got it out, the quicker it would be over. So with a deep breath, you spoke your piece, and hoped she'd listen.

“Ma Tsa’hik. I’m here to ask you to let me out of this arrangement. Please. I can’t do this, not with Neteyam. I’m done.”

Oh, my love Is this the end for us? Maybe we've had enough

taglist: @fanboyluvr @theycallmesia @afro-hispwriter @soleilmoon @crazy4books1 @bakugouswaif@randxmthxughts @xreadersstuff @sirezaya @kimberlyshailany-blog @gyuventure @jujudsmyst @kikookii @nxptury @nonniesworld @koing-slvt @bakugouswaif @isnt-itstrange @tpwkforevermore @alahamums @tallulah477 @gknj9495@aquamarine001 @itssomeonereading @yumimak@sweetbread-m@eqgroil @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @juneonhoth @yagirlheree @jackiehollanderr @legendarynoodlebowl @iameatingmyhair @justasimps-blog@hannabanana-09 @xylianasblog @misscaller06 @yeosxxx @myh3artttt @teyamsbitch@musicownsme @i-live-in-a-fantasy-daydream @zoetrope1997 @itsmy-alteregohere @ntymavtr @curlszx88 @maki-z @riatesullironalite @baahsaama @luna-salem @teyamtesuli @koing-slvt @call-me-doll-face @puresirius-things @saturniac @call-me-doll-face @dreaming-of-the-reality @whorefortim

(sorry if i missed anyone this list is getting so longgg)

[jackienautism]

fire emblem update part three!! i played a BUNCH yesterday and am probably going to finish my first playthrough tonight!! update on character opinions - while my overall ranking of the eagles hasn't changed, i will say that both linhardt and ferdinand have gotten sooo much more special to me post timeskip. similar thing happened with hubert actually, where i like him even more but he's staying in the same spot on my rankings.

DOROTHEA IS MAKING ME SO EMOTIONAL POSTSKIP like. ending the war For Her <333 she and bernie and caspar are still my besties in the whole world. this getting redundant but. i am LOVING bernie postskip. caspar too! i got all of his supports with petra since my last ask and im rotating them in my head they are so interesting to me. actually i had really not gotten too many supports between characters by my last ask and i've been trying to get the ones im most interested in currently and like. i am rotating these guys and their dynamics in my head they are sooo interesting to me. sooo mad bernie and petra don't have an a support </3 i want more of them.

im trying my best to avoid killing any of the former allies. so far i've avoided killing ignatz, let seteth and flayn run away, recruited lysithea, avoided killing hilda, and spared claude. had to kill leonie bc she would not stop killing caspar and bernie no matter what i did. and i killed alois.

little bit sad that i'm missing out on the potential angst this playthrough of having like... only one blue lion kill the rest but. there's always another playthrough! i'm def gonna play all the routes (although honestly i'm gonna have a tough time on the church path.... idk it's one thing to fight edie without being closer to her but it's gonna feel sooo bad to like. directly betray her) but i'm probably gonna replay CF being a little more careful with who i recruit from a story standpoint.

semi related but MAN im LOVING the edelgrid posting im thinking about them soooo hard rn. anyway. on to finish the playthrough! already plotting my next playthrough which is gonna be VW. sort of considering who i want to recruit for that one bc so many of my favorites are in the black eagles so for maximum angst potential i should recruit one or maybe two. but who to pick.... or maybe im lying bc maximum angst would just be killing them all. and then at the same time. what if i just decided to save as many people as possible. what then. minimum angst.

anyway! im going to be thinking about these characters forever now. this game is basically the perfect storm in terms of media that's gonna have me thinking about it for a while (big cast with interesting concepts that could definitely be dug into way deeper, and tons of possible dynamics to think about) so. thank you for your posting about it because i found myself suddenly with an abundance of unscheduled free time and i am. definitely enjoying it now! also side note but i lovee how so many of these characters come with adorable nicknames. i love calling them like. bernie and hubie and edie like yessss those are my besties <333333

YIOPPEEEEE OHHH GOOD FOR YOU GOOD FOR YOU... IM SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOURE CLOSE TO FINISHING YOUR FIRST FIRE EMBLEM PLAYTHROUGH EVER HEHE and maybe even by now you may have finished it? but regardless, super happy for you my friend<3 AND RIIIGHT,.. THEY JUST GROW ON YOU POST TIMESKIP... sooo glad the same happened w/ ferdie and hubie for you! next time you check in you def have to submit or create your Official black eagles ranking! id love to see!!!

DOROTHEA IS SOOOOOO GOOD AND FULLL OF ANGST POST TIMESKIP AAAGH YEAH. THATS WHY SHES SO SPECIAL 2 ME.... THE ARC W/ HER DEPRESSION IS JUST.... GOSH. so gladyou're ending the war for her aand only her<333 i support that sentiment 10000% i still have to go through the black eagles supports w/ each other (i enjoy getting them myself... hence why i dont just watch them on youtube or smth. plus i havent played through crimson flower in a looong while) but im SOOO happy youve been enjoying tjhe characters and the dynamics between each of them! fire emblem is especiallly good w/ writing stuff like that. and they def did not fall short in this ggame! so i unfortunately cant comment too much on individual stuff but im glad you like the supports<3 ALL OFD THE CHARACTERS DESERVE A SUPPORTS TBH!!!!!! luckily im pretty sure there are more supports in three hopes so if youre interested for more content you can always loook them up on youtube :o

understand why youd try your best to avoid killing former classmates,def makes it a bit more difficult but ): it's super fucked up, especially in the perspective of the characters. the angst potential is sooo good but sometimes i am Weak of Heart. so im glad to hear that you were able to spare / recruit most of them! rip to leonie and alois though. i defunderstand alois bc wasnt he abt to do some shit during the battle for the monastery? makes sense why youd need / want to get rid of him asap

FDJGDFBG GLAD THAT YOURE LOOKING FORWARD TO THE POTENTIAL ANGST????? did you only recruit sylvain and ingrid this route? or were you able to recruit felix as well? sorry i remember you saying you liked felix but i cant remember if you recruited him or not! but yeah im sure the crimson flower!blue lions is esp....... hard for them. considering that 3 of them were close friends w/ dimitri as children. but thats whats so GOOD about it..... there's so much angst in that alone. ouugh what are your plans for a future crimson flower route regarding the blue lions :o? BUT YEAH. SILVER SNOW (THE CHURCH ROUTE) IS GONNA BE ROUGH LMAO I DONT WANNA GO AGAINST / BETRAY EDIE LET ALONE THE REST OF THE BLACK EAGLES.... its gonna be tough but we'll make it through </3 that is why i am putting it off for as longas possible👍

HEHEH SO GLAD YOUVE ENJOYED ME GOING BATSHIT OVER EDELGARD / INGRID. SOMETHING SPOKE TO ME AND THEY JSUT..... GOD. YEAH. HAPPY YOU UNDERSTAND. fdjndfg i totally understand that want to like. get as painful as possible but for me personally. whille i HATE separating the black eagles from edie. i just cant be without them and kill them in battle i jusr CANT .... so props to you for wanting to do that! i will sauy though theres alreyad enough angst surrounding edie and hubie if you choose to save everyone else in the BE.... it just. it fucked me up, so have fun in VW<3 good luck w./ the rest of crimson flower if you stilll havent finished and verdant wind when you get to it :D!!!!

<3333 SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT MY SILLY POSTING AND MUSINGS GOT YOU TO PLAY AND THEREFORE ENJOY THE GAME!!!!!! MY WORK HERE IS CERTAINLY DONE... also happy that this new piece of media gave you more shit to think about<3 theres def a bunch to think about in terms of three houses man...... AND RIIIGHT THE NICKNAMES ARS SOC UTE..... ADN THEF ACT MOST OF THEM CAME FROM DOROTHEA ALONE MAKES ME SO ........ GOD . GIOD.

[honeybeekao]

top 10 enstars

im gonna take this as meaning characters just know im giggling at this

1. rei - who's surprised? no one. his aura is alluring if youre not ritsu so i think im justified. also im mentally ill and he's mentally ill and ive decided we're mentally ill together. vampires with back pain and gay tendencies unite. he's such a kind creature there's so much love in his heart, and i wanna hug him!! i think people should pull him out of his coffin more, if only to make sure he's alright because god can he isolate. if you get me started on how rei feels about himself i'll start sobbing, he doesnt feel human due to being placed on the highest pedestal and othered his entire childhood and i just want him to feel worthy of love. also need him to recognize the love HE feels is real and not evil and he's not evil and OUGDHDHZJ rei's so sweet he's my favorite weirdo, i love him

2. oh god okay Madara - i actually cant pick between him and kaoru sometimes so these two are interchangeable. i think madara's like the most interesting character ever, theres something wrong with him BUT it isnt in the way that /he/ thinks. he isnt a monster and i think he deserves to be held gently. also he needs to wear a wedding dress and more flowy sleeves in my opinion he's sooo pretty he's beautiful he's gorgeous. his whole outlook on religion being disdain and sorrow is understandable, i think the conversation with kanata where kanata says "you cant say such things, you need to respect it even if it isnt real. because it's real to them" - i think it's a little profound. he doesnt wanna respect something predatory and dangerous and life threatening, not to mention the worst thing of all, it hurt KANATA. which madara will never forgivw or respect. fuck you fish cult

3. kaoruuuuuu - i adore kaoru my aro babygirl my lovely poor sad little man, do you think if someone asked to take a selfie with him he'd get flustered? i think so. actually just boosting his ego would be fun because you know he's so pathetic IM NORMAL ABOUT KAORU I SWEAR okay Okay i think he's really sweet and deserves the world. he's oblivious and that's okay. also i need him to fix izumi for me because im not doing that (yes i am but dont tell him or izumi) date plan is like my favorite story, i love his conversation with rei soooo much. he's a little gay. (he's very gay) kaoru doesnt understand girls he should talk to arashi. also transfem kaoru fandom where are youu

4. chiaki - sweetie lovely "only enstars character with morals" my wonderful little hero boy, i dont think i need any justification if you dont like chiaki i don't trust you /j. he makes me feel so many emotions, i think everything he's done is so impressive because at a point he was Terrified that he couldn't do anything that he reeeaaally wanted to do. but he got there, eventually. scrimbly of a guy, he's so silly i totally believe he ends up in the hospital every month and kanata scolds him for it . and kaoru tsks at him for it and they both love him this is what i'm saying. ryuseitai as a unit are here too because i adore them all with my entire heart

5. rinne - never thought he'd be here but i'm also glad he is despite his attitude flaws. he's a bitch and i love him!! he's fucking ridiculous sometimes like i love that it's canon he's pretended to be walking a runway because of his FS outfit. also his ways of getting things to work, while insane and good god why would you do that, it makes him so interesting. i cant believe this man exists in the enstars universe he's like an anomaly to me (oh did i mention he also has the "im not human" issue? all of my blorbos are ill) he's pretty. dont tell him that. or do, see what happens he probably needs to hear it. he feels he's disappointed hiiro already and so he avoids him which also makes me unbelievably sad. please hug your little brother he misses you. i promise you didn't disappoint anyone!!!

6. izumi - i joke that he's my problematic fav but i think what happened here is he has the perfectionism illness that leads to self destruction and mean approach to loving others. and i understand this on a level due to people in my life, i think he deserves a caring hand and should also get shoved a couple times. like once a year. i got obsessed with ironic blue and i Never went back im not sorry. ALSO HE'S SO EASY TO BOTHER i think kaoru should challenge him to more shit it's incredibly entertaining, those two <3 there's something wrong with him and He knows it and Everyone knows it, No One here is acknowledging it though!

7. kohaku - I LOVE KOHAKU he's so funny he's like an oddball but isnt an oddball and it's because he fucking grew up on the internet! i love that he treats his 2 units like a day and night job umm DOES HE EVER SLEEP? dear enstars dear cospro, he's 15 that isn't healthy. he makes me sad because he's still a kid and will continue to sorta be a kid because of growing up in such a Way. being locked away by your assassin family cannot do anything good for your mental health. i'm glad he has companions though, and i'm sure he at least has fun in idol stuff. how the fuck does he deal with rinne AND madara daily? i think i'd die. dealing with them in my head is already a nightmare sometimes /affection

8. keito - picking these is not difficult actually im having fun. KEITO HASUMI'S MY POOR LITTLE MEOW MEOW dear god i look at him in any given moment and go Awwwww........ 😰 i love him so much. how can you be so stuck up yet So prone to causing problems. it's so fucking funny he's a little embarrassing and i think is very easy to mess with. madara says he's taking kuro away to be a solo unit and keito flips his shit he feels SO betrayed, this poor guy. i would say he's gullible, but that one's more on the sense of He doesnt trust madara at all and can totally envision that being the truth, hey madara at least one person thinks youre capable!! <3 keito's so normal and so very unhinged all at once, i love his glasses and his intertwining story with eichi and rei, i love his unit. akatsuki my beloveds i really like all 3 of them dearly

9. ritsu - oh ritsu dear ritsu you make me so sad i dont know what to do with myself. he can't stand change because it feels like loss to him, cough cough thisll happen when your brother is gone cough, but his home in knights is everything. he's sooo smart and i love when he's content and happy. just chilling out, he deserves it and i think him sharing that with others is really sweet. i think ritsu should take more shared naps with people, all of knights should nap more!! especially tsukasa. him and mao are insane to me i havent looked into them too much so you arent getting analysis, but mao's very obviously important to him

10. natsume - i love this witch boy with all my heart, probably just as much as i love the transmasc hc for him. i think he's a fucking genius, i think he's gonna dominate the world with his powers, i think he's insane but he's too little to be scary. also war era makes me Cry, the other oddballs were protecting him from as much of the evil as possible, sobs weeps hits the pavement. switch are very important to me.. i Love natsume's design they outdid themselves when creating him, coolest hair Ever..i think he should've had fangs though. Give natsume fangs and a trans flag thank u

honorable mentions!!

kanata, arashi, niki, mayoi, hinata, souma, hokke, shinobu

[mediawhorefics]

thank you SO MUCH for sharing these with me!! when my teacher gave us so much creative liberty i thought i must share something meaningful so it means a lot to me that i can add your faves to my list

aww im soooo glad <333 honestly i did a part 2 with even more favs but i messed up and ended up deleting it and it pissed me off too much to do it again rip :((((

but here's some extra stuff from part 2:

david hockney's 1970s drawings (not a huge fan of his paintings tbh but some of those sketches of dudes just speak to me. this one is called ossie wearing a fairisle sweater, which i didn't know until tonight and lol. i literally have a print on my wall lmao)

holly warburton's stuff kinda makes me go insane with her use of blue and her paintings that SCREAM loneliness but 'faces in a crowd' esp

some of toulouse-lautrec's in bed paintings that scream gay and tender

fallen angel by cabanel reminds me of anakin skywalker and i dig it so much. iconic.

i'm obsessed with a lot of charles dana gibson illustrations... i mean, they're all a mood !!!

and jc leyendecker who was a gay illustrator who did a lot of stuff for ads that was super homoerotic.

also my uncle is a painter and i won't share his stuff on here for privacy reasons but i love love love his paintings so much. esp. his darker older ones (don't tell him i said that lol)

i'm pretty mehh re: the impressionists. i'm much more into post-impressionism and expressionism.

bonus round here's a painter i HATE : paul gauguin !!! both my parents are huuuuge fan and i find his stuff sooooo emotionless.

also here's one of my favourite quote about van gogh. and one of my favourite quote about art tbh:

“When Van Gogh was a young man in his early twenties, he was in London studying to be a clergyman. He had no thought of being an artist at all. he sat in his cheap little room writing a letter to his younger brother in Holland, whom he loved very much. He looked out his window at a watery twilight, a thin lamppost, a star, and he said in his letter something like this: “it is so beautiful I must show you how it looks.” And then on his cheap ruled note paper, he made the most beautiful, tender, little drawing of it. When I read this letter of Van Gogh’s it comforted me very much and seemed to throw a clear light on the whole road of Art. Before, I thought that to produce a work of painting or literature, you scowled and thought long and ponderously and weighed everything solemnly and learned everything that all artists had ever done aforetime, and what their influences and schools were, and you were extremely careful about *design* and *balance* and getting *interesting planes* into your painting, and avoided, with the most astringent severity, showing the faintest *academical* tendency, and were strictly modern. And so on and so on. But the moment I read Van Gogh’s letter I knew what art was, and the creative impulse. It is a feeling of love and enthusiasm for something, and in a direct, simple, passionate and true way, you try to show this beauty in things to others, by drawing it. And Van Gogh’s little drawing on the cheap note paper was a work of art because he loved the sky and the frail lamppost against it so seriously that he made the drawing with the most exquisite conscientiousness and care.”

— Brenda Ueland, from “If You Want to Write: A Book about Art, Independence and Spirit”

[summerspectre]

soooo dream smp au where dream clones tubbo while the prison is being built, so that way when tommy is in it (according to dream's plan, which obviously fails), dream will have a way to manipulate tommy (because this is a fake tubbo that he is the puppeteer for)? yeah!

meet avi aka experiment #10! she was made to be a perfect clone of tubbo, using drista's lovely access to creative mode and tubbo DNA! drista interacts with dream only because he promises chaos in exchange, and he provides, at avi's existence.

avi is raised by sam and dream, and she is given her nickname (avi johannes) by sam!

she's born looking about tubbo's age, but she knows basically nothing and needs to be taught, so dream teaches her everything, along with the history of the dream smp, and makes her go by either tubbo, or #10.

she definitely prefers sam's company, given she doesnt want to be tubbo.

her first life is taken by dream, eventually, during her "training" to be like tubbo, so that she has a scar that matches.

eventually, when all is said and done and dream is the one in the prison, sam sees no purpose in keeping her locked up there, and lets her free. he encourages her to hide her scars, to avoid any sort of suspiscion she could.

puffy adopts her, and sam tells puffy everything when avi tells him who she's staying with. puffy's a bit surprised to say the least, especially when avi comes out to her and sam as mtf trans, but she couldnt be happier to have a sweet daughter like avi!

transcript for bottom two frames (comic):

tommy: you remind me quite a lot of tubbo, avi

avi: ive heard so much about tubbo from a friend! do you think i could meet him? im a huge fan!

tommy: a... fan?

avi: sure, he was the president yaknow?

avi: my friend fought in the l'manburg war, and witnessed doomsday, he wanted me to know all about tubbo. i always admired what he had to do.

avi: i've heard so many stories about you, too, from my friend. I always wished id been there, to fight alongside you, but i wasnt close enough at the time to be drafted.

tommy: who is this friend?

avi: oh! well, technically he's my dad, it just felt awkward to say that outright. I don't think you'd know him. he was just a soldier.

[lucifer-kane]

Could you please do "Don't Cry" with Gunpowder Tim and Jonny D'ville? (I'm sorry if im annoying you I just read your post with Jonny and Nastya and I loved it!!!)

Not annoying at all!! I love doing little inbox fics like this soooo much, helps me write without having to worry about how long something is! 

Nastya had been gone a year, and Jonny was still hurt from her departure. Anger had been the main feeling he had felt in the last year, taking it out on anything and anyone he could find in that time, even his crewmates, which wasn’t so uncommon, but it had been happening much more over that time. And they all were hurting from Nastya’s departure, but they knew this was hurting him the most, because of how close the two were. 

Now they were on a planet that was probably one of the most calm they have ever been to, and probably one of the nicest. Jonny kind of hated it to be honest, because everywhere he looked he saw things that reminded him of his sister. Jonny would go to the worst parts of the planet he could and just cause hell, doing what he could to make himself feel better, making bets he lost, making bets he won. Getting himself killed and even killing others. What a horrible coping mechanism. 

Tim found him one day, after nearly six months of not seeing their first mate, back on the Aurora of all places, curled up in the nest of blankets that once belonged to Nastya, near the heart of the ship. His face was burrowed into a mass of fabric and his shoulders were heaving due to how hard he was crying. His fingers were curled around one of Nastya’s other jackets, clinging to it like another lifeline, the fabric more than damp under his face. 

Tim feels his heart stutter for a moment, and he walks quietly and slowly into the room and kneels down next to the other man, placing a gentle hand on his back. His voice is soft as he speaks. 

“Jonny... Please. Don’t cry.” Jonny tenses at the touch and the sound of another person, he had been avoiding the crew for ages now, and only came back to the ship because he thought no one would still be on it, too busy exploring that new planet. He wanted time with what he had left to remember Nastya and to sob where no one else would notice. Apparently he had picked wrong. 

“Get out Tim.” Jonny’s voice is wobbly, gravely from how much he had been crying, and he only peeks at Tim, and his face is ruddy and wet with tears. 

“No.” Tim’s voice is steady and he pushes his fingers into Jonny’s hair and starts running his hand through it gently. Jonny lets out a soft sound and his body goes limp under Tim’s hand, more tears flowing freely. 

“I miss her...” Jonny whispers, hiccupping the words out, turning his head to look up at Tim. Tim leans down and gives the other man a little kiss on the cheek and settles next to him. 

“We all do to.” Jonny instantly curls up in Tim’s arms, letting the other man pull him in. It was nice. “But I know how the two of you were, basically siblings.” 

“I was the last one to see her, she wasn’t going to tell anyone.” Jonny burrows his face in Tim’s chest and keeps crying. “I understand why, but I was so angry at first. That she left, knowing she was going to leave without saying anything.” He takes a deep breath and looks up at Tim, who was looking down at him with a soft sad smile. Tim kisses his forehead. 

“Did you get your anger out?” 

“Yes...” Jonny mumbles, bumping his forehead against Tim’s chin. 

“Good. Now you can think about all the good times.” 

[stimmypaw]

stimmypaw reads the apprentice’s quest, a blog post

A big one, just a bunch of thoughts as I’m reading it, of course, lots of spoilers for the first book in the Warrior Cats series A Vision of Shadows. This will be covering just the first book tho, it’s all in the Read More, let’s gooooooo!!!!

Vision Of Shadows time

Lots of new cats!!! I don't remember these guys as kits or anything wrow!!! I like their names but itll take a while to get used to them

Also cant believe they printed stormcloud's dead name

Omg there's a cat named beepaw

I love these cats all of them so much im going 2 cry

All new names are perfect

I FORGOT HOW GORGEOUS THE CAT VIEW IN THE RECENT BOOKS WAS, LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT

I'm glad leafpool smokes weed

I love reading from Jayfeather's point of view, his grumpiness hasn't grown on me ever but thats just me, I still enjoy it lots he's great and its fun

Firestar and Leopardstar's characterizations are On Point i love it

OOF i feel so bad when jayfeather is mean to others, poor kestrelflight, I love those two

Lovely Jayfeather moments now its time for the first chapter

I like this duo! Also I didn't think I'd ever say this but shut up squirrelflight one can have fun AND learn with their mentors

Sparkkit sounds nice she makes jingling bell noises when she walks around

Alderkit is chadphobic /j

I can see Alderkit taking deep breaths to relax its rotating in my mind its beautiful

God this first chapter feels so good and comfortable, like eating noodles and chicken nuggets. I am so so deeply in love with it, its gorgeous!

Sparkkit is so perfect too, and Graystripe remembering Firestar aaaaaa

DUSTPELT SAID WHAT? PHDHAHAHHA OH NOOOO I don't remember their relationship much, must have been fun, I love young little creature squirrelflight I MISSED HER SO BAD WOW

I started reading the second chapter and died, I think ill take a break now 2 sleep heehhee

I love them describing twoleg stuff its always so fun and alien, like watching an animal planet show about funny sea creatures.

Also I have determined sparkpaw is my favorite, might be my favorite cat ever next to hollyleaf??? I really identify with her and also she's autistic i have decided that

Alderpaw baby noooo hhhh their mentor at least is trying to show its okay, he seems very emotionally distant so far and alderheart feels very emotionally needy, actually both of them do, did I mention I love Sparkpaw??? I might be imprinting myself 2 much on her

I love how like, its clear both of them are absolutely anxious and worried about others opinions on them, which is clearly something they got from being Firestar's grandkids, deputy kids and leader kids. And bramblestar too, I recall him being quite the anxious lad ahhah. Sparkpaw will be showing confidence and being loud but the second anyone isn't approving of her or she does something "wrong" she gets small and quiet, and she ended up setting a high bar for herself by being good at hunting and fighting so I'm curious to see how that will go. Also there's nothing wrong with being guided through a crowded place to meet others Sparkpaw!!! I bet the two of them would be stuck without not knowing how to talk to others had Needlepaw not shown up. I love them, my gf is mocking me saying I'm a Sparkpaw kinnie.

Apprentices will like learn about a thing and tell everyone about it all the time and assume its always true in every situation and thats valid I love kids like that. Also in my head Needlepaw kinda looks like a porcupine. Oh boo she's fatphobic >:(

I love apprentices they are so fun and silly, just making fun of the leaders like its nothing. The way they are clearly learning and absorving everything their warriors say and do like sponges its just ***chefs kiss***

Omg shadowclan is just full of 12 year olds help

And then the old person said "it sure is hard being old!" And everyone clapped

Shout-out to pretty Riverclan apprentice #481977 I love her

Leafpool: 👁👁

Alderpaw: I knew it im cursed and awful and terrible and I will never amount to anything

I wish the cats didn't seem to be giving up on him so easily though

Ah yes the classic thunderclan move "you suck, into the medicine hole you go"

The way sparkpaw changes the things she says and how she does when it isn't the status quo around her oooooooooooooyeaaaaaaa I love 1 autistic cat

Alderpaw considering your problems lesser than other cats won't help you deal with them better bro

I love Needlepaw's excitement about Alderpaw being a medicine cat apprentice, and her sarcasm, she feels like a preppy teenager

Ahhh this is so good, I am so thirsty for family moments like this, just Alderpaw bonding with grandma, I’ll definitely want to draw this one it’s so sweet.

Oh to be young and silly.

I really am enjoying like, Alderpaw’s struggles to seeing how he fits in the clan, how he fits in himself, how he wants to be seen and what he wants to be, it’s really good. I Am Engaged(tm) With This Plot.

SPARKPAW NOOOOOOO but also Yes I want her to be shown vulnerable and weak please 

POP, god watching this stuff always awful, the cats must have thought he broke her ahahah

Also, really great that they learned from Dovewing and now like leave choices and discussions about prophecies between adults

And plus Brambles seemed to take the time to explain stuff to him, seems he wont be going alone either the 1 thing is that he will be the only one knowing what the journey is really about, why though??? I didnt read Firestar's Quest or whatever why does Skyclan need to be secret??? Seems quite silly really!

YESSSS SANDSTORM GET HIS ASS FIGHT FIGHT LOVE THIS LOVE SANDSTORM

I could feel squirrelflight nearing explosion here, this was very fun, i wish they werent hiding this though!!!

The secret thing is showing to be a plot point so I am once again Very Engaged

Also, wonderful dialogue bit, someone asked Bramblestar why an Elder is going and:

Lovely perfect perfect

I miss you dovewing

SQUIRRELFLIGHT LOVE YOU

Oh boy this is it

Traveling book moment

Graystripe: Soooo you're excited to go on the journey to the old territories and Skyclan?

Sandstorm: Yes! It's been ages and-

Graystripe: I'm sure the tribe will love the visit too

Sandstorm, groaning: Oh noooo I forgot about how the tribe is in the way of every journeyyyyy noooooo they're such a racist caricature, please tell me you have a plan

Graystripe: Yes don't worry about it the writers forgot about the tribe in my comic book so you can just use the excuses i did to actively avoid it

Sandstorm: Oh thank Starclan

Sparkpaw's desperation to prove herself oof, her anxiety with understanding the prophecy, oh boy, and Alderpaw feeling too overwhelmed by the questions and not managing to talk!!!! I am so glad they are both autistic

Hoping "Being Leader" wont mean theyre putting nonsense responsibility on the apprentice again

Ah good Sandstorm is on the lead again, as she should, she should have been leader she would have been great

I can't believe Alderpaw thinks I look stupid and diseased :( /j

Everything about this twoleg scene was scandalous I loved it, Sparkpaw just toppled over a trash bag and they are eating from it, iconic, also did those twolegs throw out a whole turkey? Damn

Its not that Sparkpaw is freakishly good at hunting she is very hungry and constantly on the watch for things to eat

BRO Ive never been in a road where the drivers are this wild, throwing bottles out of the car????? Ive seen Fruit being thrown like once or twice, what the fuck!!! I'm glad they are going to wait until the morning to continue

Okay I was not expecting Needlepaw to show up this girl is chaotic I love her

ACTUALLY YEAH WHY DIDNT THEY TELL THE OTHER CLANS ABOUT THIS SINCE THE PROPHECY IS ABOUT ALL THE CLANS???

Needlepaw is like Rono from Bambi 2 if he wasnt a mean bully and thats very epic

Very curious character though, how come her mentor isnt teaching her the warrior code properly? Is that an issue with all apprentices?? Is the clan overwhelmed by 12 year olds and they won?

Having lots of fun trying to play the game "what animal are they describing this time" the erins made here, im glad they're in a farm. Worried about Sandstorm though :c

Fuck im worried about sandstorm a lot, her wound hurt on Me

Yeah water is good youre right sandstorm

Aw man I hope she's okay let her at least survive to meet skyclan please

NOOOOOOOO SANDSTORMA A AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Sandtteooonrjrbbbmmnnnnnnnnnn

I am so sad

Alderpaw denying it, Starclan shining upon their vigil, everything crushed me i cried

Alderpaw considers Nihilism

Haven't seen a cat thank starclan for prey in a while its

Oh look they time skipped a journey! They don't tend to do that thats nice

I'm so excited to be meeting The Skyclan that everyone in the fandom knows now

So far they seem kinda mean but thats most clans at first glance really

Okay somethings up

I uh have heard of Darktail pretty sure he's a bad guy so yeah something really bad happened to Skyclan

Am worried

Darktail sounds like an evil himbo* i may be enjoying him actually

*himbos are usually nice by default so he's just evil and stupid and strong

Does needletail know these cats already?????

Ah

Shit

Oh okay fuck

I've been quietly reading the rest because I am just concerned and I want them to be okay as quickly as possible

Waterfalls are a classic nice

Oh boy time for our unlikely duo of Alderpaw and Needlepaw to get out of a Mess!

I did not expect this to end up with the two of them journeying into parenthood, but I'm happy it did

Well actually I'm very unhappy theyre so lost and there's no sign of Skyclan I am very worried for everyone involved Sparkpaw must be feeling awful!

Twigkit is a great name

Yeah this ended terribly

Overall! Frigging loved it this book was GOOD and a great start for the series I am very excited to read the rest, SO WORRIED ABOUT SKYCLAN THO AAAA the characterizations were great the characters were great the pacing was fun and I didn't get bored once!

I think o only wish I had read this sooner really so I could look up others thoughts without getting heavily spoiled about the last books, I can watch a few videos already though thats a start ahhaha. But yeah it was great and it felt very good to read, haven't swallowed up a book so quickly in a very long time!!! Very happy I finally got my hands on this 💕💖💕💖💕💖 cant wait 2 start the next one

If you read all this, hope you had fun hahaha, ill be making more of these cus theyre fun and I like talking about warrior cats thats just my thing

Til next time

[blogenana]

Doctor Who - Earthshock Live Review

So I have my crisps and lemonade and im ready to continue my journey through classic who - idk why I just started live blogging it...

• People are climbing

• So they've found something- an alien I'm assuming- why do humans always tamper with things we shouldn't

• Oh they haven't found something theyre looking for people

• I hate how classic who drags on so slowly

• Sinister music

• 'probably nothing" foreshadowing...

• Okay get to the killing already

• YES FINALLY HELLO DOCTOR

• Wow I forget they must have their own rooms in the Tardis

• Lots of books in Adrics room

• "why should that interest me" ooh okay Adric getting a bit sassy

• Why's he fed up

• looool "I'm tired of being considered a joke" "why am I being constantly teased" maybe because you're annoying and you make sexist remarks?

• oh chill

• The doctor don't have time to deal with this

• aww okay Adric being jealous that Nyssa and Tegan get more attention from the doctor than him is kinda cute

• 'I give you my word' 'just as you gave your word to Tegan" okaaaaay go off (spoiler alert) ik Adric dies in this because I saw a spoiler so this is very sad foreshadowing that the doctor will break his word to Adric about making time for him- kinda sad

• I hate the celery stick

• okay Adric kick off

• Doctor can't take criticism which is interesting because the last time he was probably ever blamed for something was One with Barbara and Ian. I don't remember any companion ever criticizing him like this before

• 'Well it can wait' you'll regret that

• "I'm tired of being an outsider" this would make sense if we had seen him being an outsider before - in my opinion Tegan is the outsider as she's new and not as mathematically advanced as the others. also I would say that Adric is the closest to the doctor out of all 3 so his point isn't really valid

• I guess this is the writers way of making adrics death more tragic

• ooh Adrics theme

• I swear he was an outsider amongst his own people too

• 'the tools would go missing" why do these people never take the hint

• forgot Adric was from e space- tbh what was the doctors plan when he did demand to go home eventually- did he wanna travel with him till he died?

• "e space is another universe, there isn't a taxi service that goes back and forth"

• Romana mention!

• "im not waiting around while you plot the course to your own destruction" the doctor has never experienced a companion death before - also foreshadowing

• "you know I think since his regeneration he's become decidedly immature" this is funny also like 4 was soooo mature

• I like Adric and Five's relationship

• the actor who plays Adric has gone better

• Nyssa is the most mature out of this entire group

• "breathe deeply and relax" why is Tegan a meditation instructer out of nowhere

• the doctor didn't take much convincing

• lol the doctor bopping Tegans nose was cute

• Ooh Dinosaur bones

• let me guess - the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs was an alien spaceship or aliens killed them

• Someone screamed

• Ooh yeah she be dead

• Okay the villains look like they're wearing gimp costumes

• Reminds me of American Horror Story Murder House & the leather monster

• Aah doctor who giving a lesson on how the dinosaurs were killed. We love a show that educates

• Did I mention how much I hate the celery stick because I hate it honestly whose idea was it

• Bro chill why is this man grabbing the doctor like that what he do

• Calm the fuck down mate

• Gimp people be shooting

• Okay they may be androids but they'll always be gimp people to me

• Android vision

• CYBERMEN!!!! DAMN

• Why they gotta hit us with the plot twist like that i wasn't ready

• The Cybermen looks sad

• Hehehe the face is funny

• Gimps be strong

• Why do the Cybermen sound muffled

• I find it more creepy when they have human voices than Robots because it makes It more real that these machines have humans in them

• hHaven't seen them in some time

• I love Tegans sarcasm

• I'm cracking up at the Cybermen voice

• 1 gimp down 1 to go

• tThe gimps be dead

• 'prepare to activate the devise" dun dun DUN

• Damn the Cybermen be skinny

• I'm bored i want doctor/cybeman action

• Okay it's getting intense

• Cybermen be SHOOK

• "cyber technology is too advanced for earthlings" figure it out then mate

• He's recognised the Tardis

• THE BEST DIALOGUE "TIME LORDS, BUT THEYRE FORBIDDEN TO INTERFERE"

• THIS ONE CALLS HIMSELF THE DOCTOR, AND DOES NOTHING BUT INTERFERE

• YESS PREVIOUS DOCTORS VS CYBERMEN

• I'm geeking out

• Imma watch this bit a few times hang on

• Aah I loved that it was so cool bloody hell I'm a nerd

• The 2nd Cybermen looked shocked while he was watching

• "have you no emotions sir" classic

• "Adric do you have a moment" "I'm hungry" Okay I like him in this one he's a mood. Why is he suddenly likeable the ep he dies

• "all part of the daily routine" see what I mean

• Well your daily routine Is gonna end soon

• He doesn't wanna go home!!

• Doctor is relieved it's cute

• Ah this is sad

• It would be easier if i didn't know he was gonna die

• Cos I do like their relationship

• Okay we're being introduced to new people

• "you're beginning to bore me" the writers knew

• I'm trying really hard to concentrate I've zoned out

• Ah the doctor has got my attention "I want to announce my presence, see what the reaction is" course

• aaaand the doctor is caught and he's being accused for murder again

• Don't they have cctv just check it

• "apprehended why can't he just say caught" me in English classes

• 'even under the threat of death he has the arrogance of a time lord"

• I thought Cybermen had no emotions but this Cybermen just said he wants the doctor to suffer for their past defeats - revenge is an emotion which is v ironic

• Hh SHIT the Cybermen are walking

• lol tegan " im just a mouth and legs" she's such a mood

• The Cybermen music is cool

• The doctors face when he sees them

• Aah the soldier has betrayed them

• Why is it that whenever there's a women in charge the men who is second can't handle it and goes rogue

• iIt's such a typical trope

• The dialogue for the doctor is great

• "you know them"

• "oh yes, we go back a long way"

• Haha "I'm surprised they didn't mention me" 'well perhaps you overestimate your importance" "oh I doubt it" doctor is and will always be that bitch

• The doctor is doing doctory things

• "that's very clever" "oh it is" the doctor bragging about how clever he is starts here

• Damn tegan she just shot a Cyberman

• Flashback to "the doctor makes people into weapons"

• Finally the doctor vs Cybermen showdown

• Lol I knew they would kill the betrayer

• "our records indicate that you have a fondness for earth" (especially earth girls)

• "this time we shall succeed in destroying the earth" no you won't mate

• Ah the Cybermen coming out of plastic Wrap is a throwback to the 2nd Doctor Cybermen story

• Tegan looks like a badass with the gun

• So they're destroying the leaders of various planets before they destroy the Cybermen

• Tegan has no idea what she's doing

• I love how Five says the most savage lines with the most polite tone

• He could tear you down and look like he's complimenting you

• Tegan has been caught

• Cyberman in the Tardis is weird

• 'who is this woman' - 'no-one of consequence' - 'thanks a lot - gotta love Tegan

• Okay wow that scene between the doctor and the Cyberman about emotions gave me goose bumps what a thrilling scene

• The Cybermen has a point- he can control the doctor because he has emotions

• I'll never get tired of the debate about emotions between them because it genuinely feels like the Cyberman defend the concept of having no emotions to defend their existence

• Five looks hot when he's defending emotions

• Fuck they need to leave Adric behind

• Shit I'm getting nervous

• His theme is playing!

• The Doctor looks conflicted

• Adric leaving his hand out after the doctor let go...

• "I'll see you soon" this is the actors best performance because you can see in his eyes he knows he won't

• The Doctor has never had a companion die before so he walks away without looking back

• "it will once you start getting rusty" Tegan is funny

• Adric is plotting

• The Cybermen say they have no emotions but forcing Tegan watch her own planet getting destroyed is extremely sadistic

• Clever Adric

• The Earth looks different

• Okay so Adric's cleverness is what gets him killed because he knows he can crack the code

• The Dinosaurs! I knew it!

• Oh crap Earth is safe but Adric doesn't know that

• I think this comes down to Adric wanting the doctors attention and wanting to be the best to have his attention

• The Doctor has his pin!

• Five suffocating and shooting a Cyberman is shocking to see

• Adric whyyyyyy

• This Cyberman walking towards him is bloody persistent

• "Now I'll never know if i was right" such Adric last words

• Id like to believe he was

• Damn.

• The Doctors face. The fact that it could have been avoided if he just left the ship

• Adric is the first companion that died on the Doctor's watch

• Adric died thinking the Earth was going to be destroyed and he could have stopped it

• The credits!! his gold star! the silence! this must have been a shock to the viewers. If i didn't know beforehand through spoilers I would be going crazy

• Earthshock had it's ups and downs, the downs in regards to the pace of the plot however the story was good and the Cybermen were fantastic especially their interactions against the doctor. Tegan and Adric were great. Nyssa didn't really have much to do. Davison was amazing. I liked the writing.

• Also I liked the structural shift of the story to the cave androids to the bomb to the spaceship to dealing with The Cybermen to saving Earth and then to Adrics death

[iwantlove-or-death]

TC story time....again.

Ok well its currently 11:36pm and i have an 8am astronomy class tomorrow. Oh did i mention i have quiz too. Oh well. Instead of getting rest like a good student should. I would rather talk about the one thing that causes me pain. The love of my life...Mark.

Ok well this tc story is about the time Mark and I got stuck in an elevator and it was completely PITCH BLACK.

Ok so basically one day just like any other a friend and I stayed after school with Mark in his classroom. Nothing much. Just fun and games and it was cloudy outside and it looked like it was about to rain. I think it did. And so as a joke I had told my friend and Mark

Perfect weather for some scary stories don't you guys think?

Now to be honest i didn't think either of them would go for it because i know my friend gets scared easily and i didn't really think mark was into the spooky stuff but i loved it. Yeah i get scared as much as the next person but i still like hearing and watching scary stuff and just suffer the consequences afterwards. Now my friend immediately said no and i was not surprised and i looked over to Mark and he had squinted his eyes and rubbing his chin like he was thinking

Well i dont really have to go anywhere any time soon so i guess yeah sure. What did you have in mind.

I instantly smiled and totally ignored my friend. Which is messed up I know but love makes you stupid so yeah. I instantly suggested listening to scary stories. I know a youtube channel where its just real life scary stories and they have certain themes. His name is Mr. Nightmare if you all want to listen. So the one i picked was 3 true scary stories about school lockdowns since we were in school duh. And so we start listening its quiet and intense. My friend is like freaking out over there and mark has a pretty plain look on his face like hes analyzing everything that is being said and I just have a smile cause im listening to scary stuff with the love of mt life. And then BOOOM we had heard a loud sound from outside the classroom and we all jumped I KID YOU NOT AND MY FRIEND WAS FREAKING OUT. And i turned to mark who JUST LOOKED LIKE HE WAS FUCKING DONE. NOT BECAUSE HE WAS ANGRY BUT LIKE HE AS WELL WAS LITTLE FREAKED OUT AND SO WHEN HE SAW MY FRIEND FREAKING OUT HE JUST HAD THIS EXPRESSION LIKE

And I THOUGHT IT WAS FUCKING HILARIOUS. and so we all looked onto the hallway out of this tiny ass window thats on the door because none of us want to go out there and it was just some kid who had dropped some textbooks and we were like

Oh.

And so whatever time passes we finish the stories and then start to head out

Ok so we are on the third floor of the building and so teachers get an elevator pass so they dont have to walk up and down the stairs with their stuff and students arent allowed in the elevator but no one listens to those rules. Teachers sometimes let student use their cards and even gives them rides. I was so close with soooo many teachers by senior year that i was able to avoid the stairs for 80% of the time.

Anyways as we walk out we dont have to say anything we just follow mark to the elevator and when it opens its completely dark.

Oh shoot. I totally forgot the lights dont work on the elevator. I thought they would have fixed it by now......uh i dont know if you still want to get in but im going in

And i was like whatever theres nothing wrong for me and so i turn to my friend and she was really hesitant and she was just like

And she was leaving. NOW BEFORE YOU ALL SAY. NAH. THIS IS TOO EASY. ITS TRUE. ITS NOT LIKE WE DIDNT TRY TO GET HER TO COME DOWN WITH US WE DID. I BEGGED HER BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH AS MUCH AS I WANTED TO BE ALONE WITH MARK ALL THE TIME I DIDNT THINK THIS DARK ASS ELEVATOR WAS THE RIGHT PLACE BUT SHE JUST DIDNT WANT TO COME IN SO WE WERE LIKE OK SEE YOU DOWN STAIRS AND SHE LEFT

now at first i didnt think it was gonne be that dark in the elevator but the second the door closed it was PITCH FUCKING BLACK. LIKE I COULDNT SEE SHIT. AND SO I START FREAKING OUT A LITTLE

Yoooooo Mr. This is REALLY CREEPY.

Yeah youre telling me i cant even see you

It feels like youre not even in here with me its freaking me out

Im rught here chill. Stick out your hand

He held my fucking hand!!!!!! MY GOD DAM FUCKING HAND. YOU GUYS I WAS DEAD I WAS RED I FELT THE HEAT OF MY FACE

There. See im right here.

And then the door opened and he let go real quick!

And my friend was there waiting and then we walked out together and then we left and that was all she wrote.