#sonny carisi x r

[ameliora-j]

ive just had surgery and binging thru ur sonny stuff,, can you write something smutty for sonny x reader in a hospital bed? plspkspkspkspks

since u asked so nicely sweet girl !

“shhh” sonny urges, the two of you giggling as your lips connect in never ending kisses. “you have to be quiet if you want to do this, amore” he hums, his kisses trailing down your neck as his hand squeezes your thigh gently, slowly spreading your legs.

“feel like horny teenagers” you whisper softly as he kisses you once more. a soft moan escapes your lips as his fingers ghost over your panty-clad cunt. sonny chuckles against your lips at your statement, pressing down on your clothed clit as you grind on his hand. “please…” you whine.

your nurses are coming in every hour on the hour, and it’s ten till. sonny realizes he has between five and ten minutes to make you cum, and feeling how wet you are decides it’s enough. “don’t worry baby, i’ll give you what you want” he hums, pushing two fingers easily into your slippery opening.

your mouth drops open, but before you can let out an earth shattering moan, sonny is pressing his lips to your’s and all but forcing his tongue into your mouth. his fingers expertly curve to press against your gspot, his thumb stroking over your clit as tears of pleasure spill over your lashline. “you’re so tight, tesoro… such a wet little pussy” he mumbles against your skin as he nips down your neck.

“sonny…” you gasp wetly around a moan, your cunt fluttering around his thick digits. all you can do is whine and moan as he repeatedly presses his fingers against your gspot. your head is buried in his neck, hiding your moans as he pushed you to an orgasm.

“breathe steady, tesoro… don’t want your heart rate alerting your nurses” he smirked, winking down on you. “just take my fingers like a good little girl… moan for me, bambina… let me hear you” he growls, his fingers picking up their pace as he feels the walls of your cunt fluttering around him.

“i… i need to… i need to cum” you stammer, trying to steady your breathing as you hear the heart rate monitor changing. sonny doesn’t say anything, only doubling down in his efforts to make you cum, circling his thumb around your clit. your jaw drops as you look up at him, forcing you into a kiss to conceal the loud moan you let out as your cum gushes onto his fingers just as you hear the nurse knocking on the door to come and check your vitals.

[villains-are-hot]

The SVU squad part 1

Fandoms: law and order order svu / encanto (in which the squad have gifts)

Eventual Parings: oc x John munch, oc x fin Tutuola, oc x Elliot stabler, oc x Nick Amaro, oc x Sonny carisi, oc x Rafael Barba, oc x Peter stone

Other characters appearing now or later in this series: Donald Cragen, Melinda Warner, George Hwang, Olivia benson, Mike Dodds and William Lewis.

Pervious captain: “open up your eyes Donald this flashlight holds the miricale given to our department”

Young Cargen: “how did we get a miricale”

Previous Captain: “long ago when I became a detective and first joined the precinct there was a rapist the worst New York has ever seen more victims than we could count. Despite many people working tirelessly we couldn’t catch him and one of my coworkers got killed. In our darkest moment we were given a miracle this flashlight became a magical device that would never turn off. It blessed detectives and Adas with gifts to help the citizens of this city. However after years some of them decided they were too old so they stepped down and gave up their gifts. Now I’m leaving it’s your turn to lead this precinct…—————————————-

Estrella held her breath as she walked up the stairs into the building where the 16th precinct is housed. Two years she spent as a uniform officer and now she was finally promoted to a junior detective. She stopped briefly to re-read her resume making sure it was written correctly before continuing on her way. When she saw the door reading special victims unit she gulped hesitating to open it. There had been many transfer requests to this particular department thoughts of ‘what if I’m not good enough?’ Ran threw her herd after all only the best of the best would be accepted.

After what seemed like forever she opened the door and walked in. The area seemed cramped but cosy including desks filled with papers and a investigation board. It didn’t seem like any of the detectives that worked here were in at the moment. Estrella noticed a bald man sitting in an office with the door closed this must be the captain. She knocked politely and he looked up motioning for her to enter.

“Are you Captain Cragen?” Estrella asked walking in?

“Yes and your are?” Cragen asked

“Officer…sorry junior detective Estrella Juliette GracÃa” she said handing over her resume with a nervous smile

“Please take a seat” Cragen said she did as told and waited for him to read it she tried to gauge his reaction by his facial expressions but he wasn’t giving much away. Finally he looked up “this says you have an iq of 146, you graduated high school at age 13, got a scholarship to Harvard where you earned both a doctorate in criminal justice and an SJD in law by age 18, you then served in the army for three years as a private where you saved the lives of two fellow soldiers, you were awarded the silver star for your bravery being one of only 10 women to get that medal, you then joined the police academy where you graduated top of your class and now you have been promoted to detective after being in uniform for only 2 years….am I missing anything?” He asked

“I don’t think so Captain?” Estrella said a little confused

“I’m sorry the position has already been filled..” Cragen started Estrella frowned at this she knew the competition was huge but she thought he would at least think about it before making a decision “But I’ve thought about it and your resume is exemplary I would be lucky to have you on my team, so I have decided to call detective beck and tell her I am going with someone else” he finished smiling at her and handing her resume back to her

“R..really? You mean I got the job?” Estrella said shocked but excited she struggled not to jump and down in her seat

“Welcome to the special victims unit detective” Cragen said shaking her hand

“I won’t let you down Captain Cragen, when do I start?” Estrella asked

“You start tomorrow officially, today i’d like you to get to know your coworkers and then tonight will be your gift ceremony” Cragen explained

“That is fine with me” Estrella said

“Good your new partner Elliot Stabler should be at the courthouse testifying, go meet him there” Cragen ordered

~~~~~~~~~

Estrella got out of the cab looking for this stabler man. Instead she was disgusted to see a man kissing what looked to her like a child.

“What is going on here?” Estrella asked trying to hide the slight anger in his voice

“Butt out she’s my girlfriend” the man shot back

“Your girlfriend? This is a child that makes her your victim” Estrella said frustrated

“She is 17” the man said

“Do you have proof? I’d?” Estrella asked the girl

“She isn’t showing you anything take a hike lady” the man said

“You have to be really stupid or really cocky to molset a child in public” Estrella said pushing him down on a car hood and putting his hands behind his back

“Let me go right now! Who do you think you are” the man yelled trying to fight her

“Hey el cabrón, i’m a detective just got promote and your under arrest under the New York penal code 130 sexual abuse of a minor” Estrella said turning the man around and handcuffing him.

“Please stop he’s my boyfriend, leave him alone” the girl pleaded

“There a problem here?” A man with short brown hair and blue eyes asked he had a detectives badge much like her own in his hand

“I caught this man molesting a minor” Estrella told pointing to the handcuffed guy who yelled at the detective to “get her off me”

“Tell her” the girl said

“It’s legal the girls 17” the detective explained

“Really the girl was telling the truth?” Estrella asked still confused she let the man out of the handcuffs

“Come on let’s go home” the girl said and the couple walked away hand in hand

“That’s not right even if she is legal that guy is like 30” Estrella said

“Tell me about it, but it’s what the court ordered” the detective agreed with her “what’s it to you anyway?”

“Are you detective Elliot Stabler?” Estrella asked

“Yeah” he answered

“Well that was an awkward introduction…I’m detective Estrella GarcÃa your new partner” she introduced herself

“Welcome to the world of grey” Elliot said clearly unhappy about the courts decision

“The captain said I should get to know my co workers so I guess there other others” Estrella says

“Yeah I’m meeting them for an after work drink at a bar down the street if you want to join us” Elliot offered

“I don’t really drink but sure id like to meet them” Estrella said they then headed to the bar she let her new partner lead the way since she was familiar with the place. When they walked in she realised there was a lot of police and lawyers drinking here. Elliot walked over to a table where two men were sitting one white man in his late 40s to early 50s wearing glasses and the other a black man in his early 40s his long curly hair in a ponytail. They looked familiar and Estrella got a serious feeling of deja vu but she shrugged it off.

“Guys this is my new partner Estrella GarcÃa” Elliot introduced sitting down at the table next to fin.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you both” Estrella said sitting at the remaking seat

“Hey I’m Odafin tutuola but I prefer just fin, this is my partner John Munch” fin said shaking her hand

“Welcome to the squad and a life of regret and suffering” John said jokingly while also shaking her hand. A waitress came to the table the guys ordered beers and Estrella got a fruity cocktail. While waiting for them to arrive the guys got into a work related conversation. Elliot was still upset about the 17 year old girl case.

Estrella sat deep in thought she realised the names Tutuola and Munch were familiar to her. Then it clicked there was a detective Munch that worked in Baltimore homicide and a detective Tutuola that worked in Manhattan narcotics they were pretty much the reason she became a cop but I couldn’t be them? Could it…

“Excuse me John did you ever work in Baltimore Homicide?” Estrella asked the table went silent

“Yes a life time ago, why?” John sighed obviously not wanting to discuss his old life. Estrellas eyes went wide so she was right about one of but what about the other. She turned to look at fin

“What about you Fin did you work in Narcotics here in New York?” Estrella asked

“Yeah how’d you know are you stalking us” Fin said raising an eye brow suspiciously

“No nothing like that…do either of you remember a case fifteen years ago where one of the biggest drug lords in America was arrested he also had many trafficked girls that he would use and pass around to his men. He and his gang was responsible for a long list of murders they operated mainly from Maryland and New York but he was living in the state of Pennsylvania. He had three kids and older son and two twins a boy and a girl. The mother of his children died under mysterious circumstances.” Estrella recounted

“Have you been studying our case notes? There’s not way you could know all that if you didn’t” John said

“No i didn’t” Estrella said

“A lot of those details weren’t released to the press theres no way you can not that stufd” Fin told her

“I can explain you know that scared little ten year old girl that had to testify and put her father in prison? I don’t like to bring it up much but that way me” Estrella admired both men looked her jaws hanging open in surprised even Elliot looked shocked and he hadn’t even worked that case.

“Nah no way that was you” Fin said

“Yes way” Estrella said

“I read about that case in the paper, sorry you went threw that” Elliot said the group then changed the subject and spent the rest of the hour eating, drinking their drinks and talking about the recent case of the 17 year old that looked like a little girl. Estrella listend with interest since she just joined she wasn’t up to speed on that case.

~~~~~~~~~

That night the big gift ceremony was going to take place. Politicians and police from other bureaus were in attendance as well as the current members of svu. Since the prescient was small but people still wanted to know what was going thousands gathered in Times Square watching a live feed of the event. Estrella smoothed over her suit and fixed her hair ready for the ceremony to begin. Music begun to play signaling that it was time for her to emerge from behind the door she nervously complied. This was it that thing they would make or break her if she got a gift she’d become a permenant member of the squad if not she’s soon be gone like Brian Cassidy and Monique Jefferies before her. People clamped for her as she walked. She was nervous and this resulted in her only talking about a step a minute. Every so slowly she mad her way to the glowing lockers.

The lockers were large probably big enough for a person to fit inside. Each one glowed with magic displaying the name of a person and a symbol showing what their gift was. Stabler had a dumbbell on his symbolizing his gift of super strength, Tutuola had a chameleon showing that his gift is shapeshifting and Munch had a speech bubble with words in different languages on in since he had the ability to speak, read and understand all languages fluently. A new locker had appeared next to the others out of thin air this one was blank but still had an aura of magic around it. Captain Cragen was standing. He had the magical flashlight in his hand

“Will you use your gift to honor our miracle? Will you serve this city and strengthen victims hope” Cragen asked

I nodded and placed my hands on the flashlight it felt warm and calming. I went up to the locker door and hesitantly reached out touching on the combination lock. A magical light moved over the door transforming it and my name appeared in gold glowing letters ‘Estrella GarcÃa’ underneath was a love heart. I felt lots of eyes on me waiting for me to do something revealing what my gift was. Nothing happened! Everyone waited not knowing what to do and after a while Cragen addressed the crowd

“We have a new gift I don’t know sure no one knows what it is yet but it’s a gift all the same” Cragen said i ran my hand along the door confused but happy at the same time. I was now an official member of the squad but my gift hadn’t manifested itself yet..I wonder what it could be?

[beermanoftana]

masterlist

🥰 animanga requests open 🥰

🥰 other requests closed unless mutuals 🥰

😶 = gender neutral | 💐 = female | 🌸  = oc

❤️ = blurs/drabbles | 💞 = coming soon | 💕 = fanfiction | ❣️ = one-shot | 💘 = original fiction | 💟 = series

🤗  = g | 🤔  = pg - 13 | 🤫  = r - 18

celebrities/influences

evans, chris

a phone pal // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤗

a fair miracle // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤫

go out with me // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤫

hardy, ben

mission: failed // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤗

i’ll always be here // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤔

never can say goodbye // ONE | ❣️ 💐🤗

holland, tom

a selection of princesses // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤗

toss & turn // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤔

first kisses never die // ONE |   ❣️ 💐 🤗

turn back time // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤗

all about stanley // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤗

come fly with me // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤗

we’re not kidding around // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤗

holland, tom & stan, sebastian

perspectives // ONE ; TWO ; THREE |  💟 💐 🤗

hood, callum

mine & mine alone // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤗

moseley, william

home // ONE | ❣️ 💐 🤔

fairytales & happily ever afters // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤗

stan, sebastian

tired // ONE |  ❤️ 💐 🤗

aftermaths // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤔

smol & small // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤔

little lady bird // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤗

help me, i’m melting // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤔

memories & insecurities // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤔

sneak a peek // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤫

fiction

(500) days of summer

hansen, tom

(infinity) days of snow // ONE  ; TWO |  💟 🌸 🤔

criminal minds

reid, spencer

i don’t like fishes but i do like you // ONE |  ❤️ 😶 🤗

simmons, matt

pastry goods // ONE | ❣️💐 🤗

mashed potatoes // ONE  | ❣️💐 🤔

magical music // ONE  | ❣️💐 🤗

the faces of you // ONE  | ❣️💐 🤗

a long and hard day // ONE  | ❣️💐 🤫

take me home // ONE  | ❣️💐 🤗

i’m literally going to die // ONE  | ❣️ 💐 🤗

i tried // ONE  | ❣️💐 🤔

can we talk // ONE  | ❣️💐 🤔

i did // ONE  | ❣️💐 🤔

missing the mistletoe // ONE | ❣️💐 🤗

harry potter

weasley, fred

what a sweetheart // ONE | ❤️ 😶 🤗

wood, oliver

of quidditch & basketball // ONE |  ❤️ 😶 🤗

inception

arthur x ariadne

hey i just met you // ONE |  ❤️💕🤗

twenty steps // ONE ; TWO ; THREE ; FOUR ; FIVE ; SIX ; SEVEN ; EIGHT ; NINE ; TEN ; ELEVEN ; TWELVE ; THIRTEEN ; FOURTEEN ; FIFTEEN ; SIXTEEN ; SEVENTEEN ; EIGHTEEN ; NINETEEN ; TWENTY | 💕💟 🤫

daddy insecurities // ONE | 💕❣️🤔

the spreading virus // ONE | 💕❣️🤗

law & order: special victims unit

carisi, sonny jr.

patience is a virtue // ONE | ❣️💐 🤫

they wouldn’t know // ONE | ❣️💐 🤗

two birds, one stone // ONE | ❣️💐 🤗

fluttering // ONE | ❣️💐 🤗

yourself  // ONE | ❣️💐 🤗

vulnerable // ONE | ❣️ 💐 🤗

marvel cinematic universe

parker, peter

no more kisses // ONE  | ❣️💐 🤗

gee, thanks, karen // ONE  | ❣️💐 🤗

stark, tony

falling // ONE | ❣️💐 🤗

the chronicles of narnia

caspian x

tomorrow // - ONE  | ❣️💐 🤗

a soldier of my heart // ONE  |  ❣️💐 🤗

pevensie, peter

wandering souls // ONE |  💟 💐 🤔

on a walk // ONE | ❣️💕🌸 🤗

breakfast // ONE | ❣️💕🌸 🤗

old endings, new beginnings // ONE ; TWO ; THREE ; FOUR  ; FIVE ; SIX ; SEVEN ; EIGHT ; NINE ; TEN |  💟💕🌸 🤔

obviously, break the rules // ONE |  💟💕🌸 🤗

original fiction

about pepper // ONE |  ❣️💘🌸 🤗

friends with benefits // ONE |  ❣️💘🌸 🤗

understanding // ONE |  ❣️💘🌸 🤗

marriage // ONE |  ❣️💘🌸 🤗

starting anew // ONE |  ❣️ 💘🌸 🤗

twilight

black, jacob

lucky number // ONE |  ❣️💐 🤗

coming soon

100 themes |  💞

alphabet soup |  💞

meet cute |  💞

give me a number

all

animanga

digimon adventure written works (all)

digimon secret santa

(2021) the four times takeru takaishi confessed his feelings (and the one time he did not) [takeru x hikari] • AO3

(2022) sincerity at its finest [jyou x iori platonic]

(2023) the gift of communication [wallace focused]

events/compilations

2022: mimato year • it’s just like in the movies •

2023: 100 themes [1 - taoira // 2 - ] • alphabet soup [a - mimato // b - ]

multichapter

the surviving crowns [yamato x mimi, takeru x hikari, taichi x sora]

oneshots

you can’t always protect yourself [taichi x sora]

stalker [yamato x mimi]

that’s not a pure word [yamato x mimi]

drabbles

reincarnation au [yamato x mimi]

group project turned chaos [slight taichi x sora, slight yamato x mimi, slight takeru x hikari]

the hunger games au [takeru x hikari]

headcanons

taichi x sora [ i  • ]

yamato x mimi [ i  • ]

takeru x hikari [ i  • ]

*last updated: 02-04-2024

characters (adventure/zero two/2020): taichi, yamato, sora, koushiro, mimi, jyou, takeru, hikari, daisuke, miyako, iori, ken

characters (digimon partners; adventure/zero two/2020): agumon, gabumon, piyomon, tentomon, palmon, gomamon, patamon, tailmon, v-mon, hawkmon, armadimon, wormmon

ships (adventure/zero two/2020): taichi/yamato, taichi/sora, yamato/mimi, jyou/mimi, takeru/hikari, ken/hikari

characters (tamers): takato, ruki, jianliang, juri, kazu, kenta, shiuchon, ryo

characters (digimon partners; tamers): guilmon, renamon, terriermon, leomon, guardramon, marineangemon, lopmon, cyberdramon

ships (tamers): jianliang/ruki, ryo/shiuchon

characters (frontier): takuya, koji, izumi, junpei, tomoki, koichi

ships (frontier): koji/izumi

[shedaresthedevil]

This is the ache that says "You do not want him"

Pairing; Matt Murdock X NB! ReaderOC

18+ MINORS DNI!!!!

Warnings : SMUT. sexual tension filled fight sequences, mutual pining, two idiots in love but they wont admit it, mentions of male and female anatomy, afab! Reader, choking, violence, sprinkle of angst

HOLY shit you guys I'm back! I've been in a writing slump and I think I'm finally out of it with this 8,861 word pure h o r n y jail fantasy. Thank you to everyone who contributed to the "what is the thing you find most attractive about Matt " post! I was able to incorporate everything. I really wanted you all to be involved because I could not have done any of this without you. Ironically, I reached 200 followers the other day, and this is the 100 follower special. I already know what I'm doing for 200, and 300 when we get there. Until then, I have quite a few fics on deck for you to enjoy.

As usual, I will be continuing to edit even after posting. So if you see a mistake, no you didn’t.

Tell me your favorite line? Please?

@matt-erialgirl  @freshabogados  @loki-silver-tongued-god  @e-dubbc11 @lexlovescoffee  @pleasedin  @candyello  @carisi-sonny  @sobachka-korol  @1800-fight-me  @mydeerprongsie1960  @alrighty-matty @hellskitchenswhore @hellskitchens-whore @reborn-rekall @alidafirtup @moonlarking @saintmurd0ck @last-honey @xbamboowishesx @mindidjarin @skvatnavle @bunnywritesmarvel @mccnknightstcrdst @fluffyprettykitty @aramora

  "Again." You panted, rolling on to your feet to stand.

Matt circled you, his signature smirk resting on his lips.

"You sure? You don't have to get it perfectly today."

"Says you. Don't you know I have to do everything correctly or I'm a failure and I'm never doing it again?"

Matthew laughed quietly, shaking his head.

"That's entirely untrue, sweetheart."

"Yeah, you wouldn't know anything about that, would you Matt?"

Your tone was dripping in playful sarcasm, and you were glad the two of you were on the same page. You kept each other in check, pushing each other when necessary. You tossed his nightstick back to him and he caught it with ease,even with his back turned to you.

The other night you had been unable to escape a hold, your neck still bruised from the piece of pipe that had been held against you. You were in the middle of fighting two other people when a third had come behind you, stealing your breath as the metal was forced against your throat with monstrous strength. You had kept the other two at bay with your feet for as long as you could.Your hands had become useless as the oxygen was deprived from your body, even as you tried to claw the pipe away. Your mind was overwhelmed with the fact that there was no air. You could not think of how to escape; there was only the fight to breathe. You had almost passed out, your vision slowly decreasing and getting darker by the second.

And then there was Matt, moving towards you, the full confidence of the Devil exuded in his gait. You would almost call it a strut, given the power in his approach. He commanded the space, almost in the same way as he would in the courtroom. But instead of a quiet storm that waited to strike, this was one that raged, one that roared with no question of if it would come raining down, but when. If you hadn't been struggling to breathe already, you might have even been flustered by it. Within seconds, Matt had freed you, pushing your assailant backwards and out of range from you. You fell to the concrete, straining for air as you turned to see how it would go down.

“I am not afraid to hurt you.”  You heard him threaten, voice low and dangerous.

A shiver ran down your spine, contrasting with the burn in your lungs.

Matthew was an incredible fighter, and you would be lying if you said it didn't excite you.

He was fearless, borderline vicious in his desire to protect the city and apparently, you. You heard bones crack against his fist, and finally, the last man fell. Matt rolled his shoulders, and you found yourself staring at them, broad and strong.

You had made your way to your feet, leaning with your hands on your knees while you fought to catch your breath.

"You should really watch your back, sweetheart." He had teased, head tilting as his tongue slid out to lick his lips.

You looked up at him, exasperated by his comment.

You held up a finger, and he laughed.

"When I regain the ability to breathe," you rasped, "I'm going to take that mask off your face and choke you with it. "

Matt simply shook his head, smiling all the while. The pair of you had left, leaping from rooftop to rooftop to avoid being seen. The adrenaline had worn off by the time you were almost back at Matt's apartment, and the pain of the asphyxiation had sunk in. You ripped off your hood and face shield, settling down on the couch. Your throat still burned,but otherwise you were intact, save for a few cuts and bruises. Stripping off your hoodie, you tossed it to the chair, leaving you in your binder and undershirt.

Matthew had already walked to the bathroom to gather the medical kit you had insisted you two put together. He could smell the coppery tang of blood from both himself and you, as well as the sweat that coated your skin and… salt. You were crying, but he wasn't sure what for. Matthew had found it was better to let you tell him on your own why, rather than asking. He re-entered the living room, and you leaned forward, elbows resting on your knees. The black paint you hid your eyes with was smeared across your palms from you wiping it away.

"Here, try this." Matthew offered, handing you a wet washcloth.

You took it with gratitude, wiping your face and hands off as best you could. You would need something stronger to get it all off, but it would be sufficient for now. You set the cloth down, looking toward Matt, who had already removed his mask to wipe away  his own sweat and blood. Flipping open the box, you reached for an alcohol swab for the cut on Matt's face. Standing, you walked to meet him.

"Let me see, Matt."

"You don't have to do that. I can do it myself, I have for years. " He replied, tone coming out harsher than he had intended.

You swallowed, taking a step back.

"I'm sorry. I don't want to make you feel incapable. That wasn't my intention." You apologized, gaze dropping to the floor.

You sounded defeated, and moreover you sounded hurt. Matt raked his fingers through his hair, regretting his response. He knew you had retreated inwardly; you had backed down almost instantly. You never backed down, even when he was in a mood. It was one of the things that he loved the most about you- you challenged him, even if he was certain in his conviction.

"That's not what I meant either. This week has been difficult, but that doesn't mean I should take it out on you. You're only trying to help."

Which was true. They had lost a case in court earlier in the week and Matt had been thrown off since. You felt more in the way than helpful this week, and that sense of worthlessness had begun to take its toll on you.

Your brow furrowed, and your lips twitched from side to side. You started to reach up toward his wound again, but Matt stopped you, taking hold of your wrist gently.

"I'm sorry. You're upset."

"I'm not upset, Matt." you countered, swiping against the blood that still stained his face.

Lie.

"Please don't lie to me. Talk to me."

You shook your head, biting your lip as you fought the burn in your eyes. Crying was your body's first reaction to you being frustrated, and you loathed it.

"I'm not upset. I'm frustrated." You finally admitted, placing a bandage across his cheek.

Matt could practically hear the thoughts of self doubt rolling around in your brain. You were so hard on yourself, and he could recognize it easily; he was the exact same way.

"Is it because you got caught off guard? I've had that happen before, it's not as rare as you think it is ."

You scoffed, warm tears falling down your face without your permission as you continued to clean Matt up.

"Yeah, but the difference is that you got out of it. Even with everything I know, I still couldn't escape it. I couldn't even think of how to get away, I was so focused on trying to breathe. My brain stopped. I just…"

You trailed off as you felt Matt's fingers graze lightly across your cheek, taking your tears with them.

"What is it, sweetheart?"

Matt's tone was soft, empathetic, the facade of arrogance falling away.

"I hate feeling like a burden. The last thing I want is to be an extra person that you have to protect or look after. I should be able to hold my own and not have to wait for you to come and help me all the time."

Ah. There it was.

"Stop. Come here." he said, drawing you into his embrace.

"This week has been shit for both of us. You are not a burden or an inconvenience. You've saved my skin more times than I can count, I'm just returning the favor, okay?"

You inhaled against his chest, the scent of black oak and amber soothing to your anxiety ridden body.

"Okay." You mumbled, stepping out of Matthews arms.

Your mouth twitched again, a telling sign that something else was bothering you. Your breathing also changed in pattern.

"I know you need to say something else."

"I just hate that I cry so much. Really makes me seem like I get overwhelmed too easily." You groaned, running your fingers through your hair.

Matt gave a low laugh, moving to clean your wounds in reciprocation.

"No, it just means you feel things very deeply, " he began, cleaning a split in your lip, "I do too, and not just because of my senses being heightened. "

You flinched at the sting as Matt wiped your skin. You hissed as he cleaned the gash on your shoulder, feeling particularly sensitive.

"Sorry." He whispered with a small smile, trying to be more gentle in his work.

"I've had worse." You joked, making a motion toward your throat that was already darkened with bruises.

Matt reached out, resting his hand at the base of your neck, fingers brushing against your pulse point.

"I'm sorry I wasn't faster." He whispered, hearing the soft tissue shift and your windpipe rasp as you breathed.

You reached for the side of Matt's neck, mirroring his actions, touching the hand that was on you with the other.

"You feel that? I know you can hear it, but do you feel it?"

Matthew nodded, tongue sneaking out over his bottom lip as he swallowed.

"I'm here. I'm whole, and so are you. We have each other, Matty. I'm not going anywhere."

A small, but genuine smile appeared on Matt's face as the two of you stood there, grounding each other. You were definitely in his corner, the past three months had proven as much, but it was more than that.

 He could never tell you how terrified he was to lose you; that wasn't what you wanted.  He couldn't tell you what you meant to him beyond what already was, even if your touch made him ache for you. Matt could not tell you that he wanted to be intimate with you, on more than a physical level. You were always there for him after everything, whether it was emotionally or to tend to his wounds. You embraced him exactly as he was, both as Matthew and as The Devil of Hell's Kitchen.

"Could you…. Could you teach me? How you get out of a hold like that?"

The smile quickly turned into a smirk.

"I thought you'd never ask."

And now here you were, in your basement learning to get out of holds and to improve your disarming skills. The hold against your throat you had gotten pretty quickly, but the disarming technique you and Matt were currently working on was taking you some time. You had run through it about a dozen times now, and you still were not getting it right.

"C'mon, again." You repeated, readying your hands.

"You really want to get hit again? I'm starting to feel bad."

It was true, your ribs ached from being struck repeatedly with his nightstick, but you were determined to get it, at least once. Matt scrutinized your stance, head tilting to the side.

"Wait. Your hands are too high. I think that's the problem."

You dropped your hands, unsure of where exactly you should put them. Matt shook his head, coming to stand behind you.

"May I?"

You agreed, and Matt took a hold of your hands to reposition your arms where they needed to be, bending slightly to do so. You tried not to think about how his hands felt on your skin, the light calluses creating a pleasurable friction.

"You're trying to compensate for my height, but I'm striking in a downward arc like someone who would try and hit you would. There."  He explained, finally satisfied with your arm placement. His hands dropped to your hips, feeling the lack of tension in them.

“Spread your legs a little wider for me. Just like that.”

Matt's voice was low and directly next to your ear. You suppressed a tremble as he withdrew, returning to his place across from you.

"Ready? We'll go step step by step again."

You nodded, taking a deep breath. Matt swung, and the stick came towards you with a blinding speed. Your forearm connected with the center, holding it at bay. You withheld the cry of triumph in your throat.

"Excellent. Let's do it again and then we'll move on to the next part."

Matthew reset his position, as did you. He swung once more, and you blocked it again, a wicked grin spreading across your face. You dropped your hand down, grasping the baton tightly.

"What's next?" Matt encouraged, a grin of his own trying to form.

"My other hand comes over to push the nightstick up and away , and I grab your arm. I use the hand that's on the baton to take it from you as I push your arm down and twist away."

"Alright let's see it then- well, as well as I can see anything."

You groaned, shaking your head as you reset to try it all together. You ran through it slowly, making sure you had the motion down.

"Can we try it at your real speed now? I know you've been holding back even when you "weren't."." You asked, hoping Matt would say yes.

Getting it in a slow, practiced motion was one thing. Getting it at the speed of the Devil? That was another matter entirely. Matthew sighed.

"If you think you're ready. I promise I won't hold out on you."

"I am. Show me what you've got, devilish man." You prodded, rolling your shoulders back.

Matt raised his eyebrows, and then struck without warning. You blocked, then took hold of the wood, using it as a fulcrum as your other hand came to grab Matthew's arm, twisting away with the nightstick in hand. Matt advanced, coming behind you. You turned quickly,  down swinging the baton to protect yourself as you did so. You felt it connect with his hip, quickly raising it again to deflect the blow that was headed towards your face.

The two of you panted hard, Matt's signature smirk gracing his features.

"Good girl."

And the alarm that settled on Matt's face wiped away the look of satisfaction that had been there only seconds before.  He heard your heart rate tick upward at the praise, but he assumed it was because he had used a feminine term. You felt something, but it wasn't anger. You felt it stir low in your body, tendrils of mild arousal climbing up your skin.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean-"

Matt felt his face heat and a light laugh left your lips. It was a rarity to see him flustered, but you didn't exploit it. Not when he was genuinely concerned that he had upset you.

"Matt, it's okay. I use she/they, remember?"

Matt swallowed, still completely thrown off by his mistake.

"Is that okay, though?"

You simply shook your head, placing your hand on his arm to reassure him.

"I identified as female for Twenty-three years of my life, and sometimes I still feel that way. Traditionally feminine compliments and words do not bother me, okay?"

Matt nodded, asking if you were ready to move on to sparring. You always ended training with a hand to hand match, seeing who would last the longest and make the other submit first. You tossed the stick aside off the mats you had laid down on the floor. You began to circle each other, waiting each other out to see who would strike first.

"You're going to make me pay for all the times I hit you in the ribs, aren't you?" Matt said playfully, focusing on your mouth as your lips slid into a smirk.

He quickly focused elsewhere, as the thought of how your mouth would feel against his entered his mind. Your presence was…distracting today, but that would not deter him from making you give in.

"I feel like you would be offended if I didn't."you quipped.

Your eyes locked in on his bare shoulder, the black fabric of his tank top clinging to his soaked body. You shook your head once more, trying to anchor your attention somewhere else.

"You know me so well." He replied, leaning out of the way of your strike.

His eyebrows raised, head tilting in amusement and expectance.  He continued his prowling; that was truly the only way you could describe it- a hunter and his prey.

"Interesting. " He mused, rolling his shoulders back.

Matt was sizing you up, trying to anticipate your next move. He was excellent at reading you… most of the time. The scent of your sweat blending with the perfumed oil on your skin was enticing and he ached to intertwine it with his own. Matt was ripped from the thought of how he would do exactly  that when your fist connected with his ribs, and then his jaw.

You shook your hand out, bones aching at the impact.

"You were saying?" You quipped, watching as he wiped the blood off his face from where he had bitten his cheek.

You found yourself biting your own lip for only a moment at the sight of the deep, dark red staining Matthews mouth.

"Aw, I'm sorry. Did I hurt your hand?" He teased, moving to retaliate.

Matt's leg was headed straight for you, and you barely had time to evade it.

"Shut up, Matt." you shot back, matching his playful tone.

"Why don't you come and make me, sweetheart?" Matt urged, brows raising as if to say “come and get me”.

You were both annoyed and entranced by his confidence, and you aimed to wipe the smirk right off his mouth. Unfortunately for you, your plan did not go as intended. Matt took a hold of your wrist, his opposite arm wrapping around your back as he sent you around his body. You landed on your feet, and Matt still held you in his grasp. You were low, almost as if you were being dipped during a waltz. Training with Matt often felt like a dance; it was fluid, seemingly effortless when you had the right partner. Thrashing in his grasp, he pulled you back up and you were now inches from his face. Matt smiled once again, knowing how frustrated he could make you.  You moved against him and he let out a light laugh.

“I thought you were going to make me be quiet.”

Your free arm had come to rest around his neck, and you decided to take advantage of that. Your hand found its way up the back of his head, Matt's soft hair gliding in between your fingers.  You swore heard Matt hum low in his throat, almost like he was purring at the feeling. The sound of pleasure turned quickly into a deep, thrumming growl as you pulled, showing your teeth as you moved even closer to his face.

"Who said I still won't, Counselor?" You whispered, a wicked grin forming across your lips.

It was distraction enough for you to break his hold on your arm and shove him away, and you twisted to the ground, falling into a crouch. Your hair had come undone and now fell in loose waves at your shoulder. You tossed it back as you stood, pulse racing as the thrill of the fight began to sink in.

Matt’s head tilted, lips sliding into a smirk once again, taunting you.

“So we’re fighting like that today, huh sweetheart?”

You laughed, amused at his reply.

“What is it you always say? ‘Win by whatever means necessary’ ?”

“Exactly.”

Matt struck out, and you whirled to block. At the last moment he dropped to his knees, gliding across the floor and grabbing your ankles to pull you down. You rotated as you fell, landing on the mat with a solid thump. The air was knocked out of you, but you wasted no time trying to roll over.

You were not fast enough to escape the Devil.

The moment you were on your back Matt was hovering above you, pinning you with his hands, strong thighs bracketing your hips and holding you in place. You moved underneath him, struggling to free yourself, groaning quietly as you did so. You hated feeling trapped, and hated losing even more.As you worked against his hold, you realized his grip was not as tight as it you thought it was. You did not want to give him the pleasure of having you concede, so you formulated an exit stratedgy.

 Matt had to hold it together as he heard you borderline moan while you writhed beneath him. He was grateful that you could not detect changes in scent like he could. Matt could scent the arousal coming from himself and you, but he also knew that it was a natural reaction to adrenaline and stress on your body.

“I win.” he proclaimed, satisfied with himself.

You arched your back upwards, coming back down with a cry of exasperation, your inability to escape purely performance.

You shook your head.

“You’re hurting my feelings, Matthew.”

His brows furrowed in confusion, but by the time he realized what you were doing it was too late. Your legs wrapped around his and thrust him to the side, yanking your hands out of his hold to shove his chest away simultaneously. You had flipped him successfully, parallel to the exact position you had just been in, your hold on his legs more secure. You leaned down, hair brushing lightly against his cheek as you spoke.

“Those aren’t the rules we agreed on. It’s not whoever pins the other first, it’s whoever submits first. I never submitted to you, and therefore you do not win.”

Between you being on top of him, the scent of sweat mixed with your pheromones and the oil on your skin, Matt could barely think, barely breathe.

“Well, are you admitting defeat or are we going to drag this out?”

“Not a chance.” he shot back, a fierce defiance lacing his voice.

Matt used his body weight to push upward, driving you backwards and pinning you back to the floor. Your hands were still free, and your right slipped down to your boot, reaching for the karambit blade that was wedged between your leg and the leather. You gripped the acrylic sheath, choking back up to the handle once it was in your grasp. You brought the covered blade up to Matt’s throat at the same time as he brought the one from your left leg to yours.

“You have two of these, remember?” he chuckled, breathing hard.

Your mind raced; currently you were grid locked, each with a knife to the throat. The pair of you would be lying if you said it didn’t turn you on. Matthew pinning you down certainly was not helping, as your mind drifted momentarily to you being pinned down in a different circumstance. Matt must have grabbed it when he turned the tables, and you scolded yourself for not expecting it. The only way you could secure victory now was to completely take him down, make it so he could not move. You had to work quickly if you wanted to be efficient in your scheme. The curve of your knife angled underneath his, shifting upward to pry the karambit from his hand. The blade clattered against the floor as it landed across the room. Your legs were still locked together; Matthew had no choice but to move with you as you rolled sideways.

Matthew gasped as he felt the shift in position, your speed surprising even with how exhausted you were. Your arms hooked underneath his own, one hand pressing against the back of his neck, the other crossing to the opposite shoulder. He swore he felt his hip bones  bend, yielding under the pressure of your thighs as you forced your legs in underneath his to immobilize him. Matt heard you laugh softly against the hollow of his neck where your head rested to protect your face as he struggled, trying desperately to find an out. There was no way for him to get you off of him without intentionally hurting you, which was not the point of the training exercise.

You felt the heat that had risen up earlier from his praise return as he groaned in frustration. You hoped the amount of sweat would cover the scent of your body’s reaction to the sound. Fighting with Matt just did something to you, and hearing men make any kind of noise resembling a sound of pleasure had always turned you to liquid internally. Finally, after several minutes of fighting against your grasp, you felt Matt’s hand tap your shoulder blade three times.

“What happened to not a chance, Counselor?”

"Fuck you." He replied, laughing through every syllable.

"Fuck me yourself coward."

It was reflexive at this point with the both of you; provoking each other was second nature.

Matt suppressed another tremor as he felt your breath on his neck, the softness of your lips brushing against him. God, you were so close, skin to skin in some places. He wanted you, and contemplated telling you for only a moment. Matt wanted you physically, that was true, but he wanted you on an emotional level as well. You were the first thing he thought of when he woke up and the last thing on Matt’s mind before he went to sleep, which more often than not these days was with you, be it in his bed or yours. Each other’s presence brought relief, and he found solace and comfort with you. But if you wanted him in return, you would have told him before now. He did not take you for a person to mislead him, and you had shown no indication that you wanted anything more than his companionship. So it would have to stay that way.

“I know when I’m beaten, sweetheart.”

“Say it.”

Matt knew what you wanted. He decided to rile you some more.

“Isn’t me tapping out more than enough?”

You scoffed against his skin.

“Absolutely not. And I am not releasing you until you submit fully.”

He liked the sound of that, but the level of submission he thought of was in a completely different context. Matthew felt your grip tighten even more in emphasis, as if to say that you had no problem waiting. He sighed, rolling his eyes.

“Fine. I submit. You win.”

Your hold loosened and you pulled away slightly, meeting his blank stare.

“See? That wasn't so hard. You’ve won the past two times, let me have this.”

He just couldn’t help himself, taking the small edge of advantage he had now that your guard was down. Matt flipped you both, hovering above you again, leaving your hands free.

“No, I don’t see, actually.” Matt teased, a smug smile on his face.

“You still tapped out. I still won.” you huffed, frowning beneath him.

“I don’t recall doing that.”

“Oh, so you getting frustrated because I had you pinned down thirty seconds ago didn’t happen?”

“Are you calling a blind man a liar?” he replied, feigning offense.

You wrapped your legs around his hips, gripping onto the damp fabric of his tank top and turning the tide once again.

“I would never.” you said, sitting up to stand, offering your hand to help him up.

Matt’s grasp on your hand made you wince. His brows rose, stepping closer and softening his grip.

Concern was evident in his tone as he asked if you were alright.

“Yeah I think so, I think you just grabbed my bones too hard.” you joked, moving to unwrap them.

You had shaken out your hand after connecting with his face earlier, and had winced even though he hadn’t squeezed that hard.

“Stop,” he requested, head tilting to hear better, “Flex your fingers, I want to see if I’m right.”

You did as he asked after Matt took your hand, and sure enough he heard the slight creak of the bones in your hand.

“Your wraps are too tight. Make them a little looser next time.” he advised, unwrapping the moon phase patterned fabric from your hands.

Mathew took it upon himself to massage your hand, moving your fingers in circular motions to loosen them up. He moved on to the next one, unwinding the fabric.

“You don’t have to do that, Matt. I would have survived with aching hands. I've done worse.”

 Matt chuckled, dark hair falling in his face from the downward angle of his head. His laugh always made you smile, even when you didn’t feel like it.

“I wanted to. Besides, I can't have my partner in pain when we need to go out later tonight.”

Partner. Not ‘partner in crime’ as you teasingly called each other, just partner. Your chest tightened  as you looked up at him. Matt felt your eyes on him, and he tilted his head upward to meet your gaze as best he could. His eyes were so beautiful and warm, and you wanted them on you always. You realized you were staring, and swallowed, taking your hand back gently.

“I should um, I should take you home.” you said, breaking the silence.

Matt grinned weakly, nodding in agreement that it was time for him to go.

“You’re tired, I’ll take a cab. You worked really hard today, you deserve to rest before your session with your client.”

“Matt, it’s twenty minutes, I don’t mind.” you protested, zipping up your hoodie and heading upstairs.

“That’s twenty minutes of your time, plus ten minutes of traffic, plus thirty back. That’s an entire hour. Go relax and cool off before you have to throw yourself into work on your day off.”  he countered, grabbing his jacket from the kitchen chair he had hung it on upon his arrival.

Matthew was right, you supposed. You had taken a client on a saturday as a virtual reschedule, which you usually did not do. But this particular client was fragile, and always on time. You did not have it in you to say no, not when you had made so much progress the previous week.

“If you’re sure...” you conceded, following him to the front door.

“I am. I’ll see you later, for… work part two.” Matt reassured you, sliding his glasses on and calling for a cab once he was out the door.

You followed him out to the porch, sitting beside him on the swing while he waited. The early morning light made the strands of auburn in his hair shine, and you wanted to run your fingers through it, just to touch him. That was a level of intimacy that you saved for after vigilante activities; for in the dark after you patched each other up and needed to be sure you were both still whole. So you settled for leaning your head against his bare shoulder instead.

Matt leaned back, letting  the slight breeze of early fall move through him, eyes sliding shut.

And then it was there again.

Sandalwood, patchouli, and orchids.

The wind had made your scent travel, and Matt could practically taste you. Your scent drove him insane, but also made him sad if he thought about it too much. Orchids had been Elektra’s favorite flower, and you reminded Matt of her in so many ways, but you differed in many more.. One of his favorite things about you was that you were  different from her.  You shared the same ferocity, the same passion and determination, yes, but you knew where to stop. You knew when enough was enough and never pushed him too far. You were unfathomably kind, even with everything that had happened to you. You never lied to him, and even when it was an accidental deception, you took accountability for it. Matt wasn’t even fully aware of the scope of your trauma, but he had connected quite a few dots.  There were still some things you could not tell him; you weren’t ready.

You felt Matt shift beside you, and you looked up at him, seeing the conflicted expression on his face. You didn't need to be able to hear his heart to know something was wrong.

"Is everything okay? I didn't hurt you did I?"

Matt released a light laugh, shaking his head.

"No, I'm okay. I promise. I'm just…thinking."

About Elektra.

You finished the thought in your head, not wanting to press the issue.

"Orchids were her favorite, and your perfume oil smells like orchids."

Oh.

He had never told you that, never said anything.

You softened instantly.

"I'm… I can change it to something else from here out if it makes you upset."

You had plenty of scents to choose from, but this combination went the best with your natural body chemistry.

"No, I don't want you to do that. It helps me find you when we get separated. It's cathartic  in a way. You couldn't have possibly known that those were her favorite, but yet it still ended up being the one you chose. It's like she's telling me that you're supposed to be in my life. Like she's still here somehow.

You smiled gently, relieved that the scent was more than just a sorrowful reminder.

"I'm sorry, that sounded really dumb."

You shook your head, reaching out and intertwining your fingers, giving Matt's hand a light squeeze.

Matt immediately eased at your touch, visibly relaxing in his expression.

"If you feel it, it's not dumb. Aren't you always saying that to me?"

He supposed that was true; it would be hypocritical of him not to take his own advice.

"Thank you." He said suddenly.

"For what?"

"For always understanding. It's far more than I deserve."

"I don't believe that for a second. You deserve the world Matt. What you do for this city, what you risk every day, it's beyond measure." You replied, voice breaking from the friction on your vocal chords.

Matthew could hear the slight rasp in your voice, the almost imperceptible strain in your breathing. He knew you were still bruised from the other night. 

“Does it,” he swallowed, changing the subject, “does it still hurt?”

Matthew looked down at you, reaching for your throat, not thinking of what he was doing. You turned in answer, your forehead touching lightly against his as you felt his fingers caress the damaged skin.

“No, It doesn’t, not really…” you whispered, hyper aware of the immediate proximity of Matt to you. His fingers were warm and soothed the ache from the deeply bruised flesh. How you functioned around him was beyond you; Matthew made you…nervous being this close.

Not quite a lie, but not entirely true.

“It’s only been two days. I can hear how much strain it puts on you just to breathe.” he whispered back, noting that if he moved even the smallest amount, your lips would meet.

You seemed to pick up on that detail as well, pulling away just enough to match eyes with him. His hand slid up the side of your neck, fingers brushing the back of your jaw.

“It does hurt, Matt. But it’s nothing I can’t handle.” you swallowed, trying to hide the wince that followed.

In truth, you had been hurt far worse between the vigilantism in the night with Matt and rehabilitating horses, but this was a dull ache compared to the emotional pain you had endured in your life. At least this pain would eventually fade, and you knew that with certainty.

Matt looked blankly at you, knowing full well that you were down playing your pain. Most likely it was to try and spare him some guilt over not being able to get to you quickly enough to prevent it. Your heart was racing, and he wasn’t entirely sure why. What he could make of your expression was a face he’d recognized on you many times. You were thinking, and thinking intensely- you always were, but this was different somehow. He wanted to know what you were thinking, wanted to know where you went when you went that deep into your head. Matt still hadn’t moved his hand, and you still hadn’t moved further away. 

“Yes?” you said, unsure of what to make of the way he said your name.

Matthew shifted slightly. He had said your name aloud, not just in his head like he thought he had. Maybe he should simply tell you, and you could move from there. Saying it, confessing it, might relieve the vast amount of tension he felt. It was becoming more and more difficult to be near you, even in a casual setting.

“I need to tell you-”

You both jumped at the horn from the taxi that pulled up to your home. The passenger window rolled down, and the driver asked if one of you was Matthew. He stood, picking up his jacket and cane and you stood to hug him goodbye. Matt breathed you in quietly, eyes rolling back from the aromatics of your body.

“What did you need to tell me?” you asked, pulling away.

Matt took the timing of the taxi as a sign. He let out a nervous laugh as he descended the stairs.

“I can't even remember. Must not have been important then. I’ll see you later, okay?”

Your brow furrowed momentarily, perplexed. It had sounded important by his tone, but given that Mathew’s memory was impeccable most of the time, it must not have been for him to have forgotten that quickly. You nodded, the sarcastic remark falling swiftly from your mouth.

“Will you see me later, counselor?”

Matt shook his head, ducking into the back seat and instructing the driver where to go. You waved goodbye as the car pulled away, turning to go back inside.

The ride back to Matt’s apartment felt over too quickly, even with the fifteen extra minutes of traffic. You had been exceptional today, so stubborn to get it right, so headstrong in your efforts to win against him. Your scent was still on him; in his hair, on his hands, on his clothes- you were everywhere. Usually, he could compose himself when he put some distance between the two of you. Your scent would fade and he could concentrate again, but today it was more intense than normal. He supposed it was because you had been training for four hours instead of your usual two because you had been persistent. You did not want to quit today, full of vicious determination, and God it made Matt want you.

Matt paid the driver, gathering his belongings and stepping out onto the pavement.  He made the trek up the stairs , wanting nothing more than to rest for a few hours until it was time to go out for the evening. Matt turned the key in the lock, pushing the door open as he heard the bolt slide. He sighed as he set his cane against the doorframe, placing his glasses on the table by the door. Matt tossed his jacket to the chair across from the couch and went to the kitchen to get water. Filling the glass, he downed it, and another and then another. Moving to his bedroom, he removed  his shoes,  and his tank top followed shortly after. He was simply too hot, that’s all it was. Matthew made his way back to the couch, hearing the soft sound of fabric hitting the floor. He turned, moving to pick up his jacket from the floor. And then he found it.

Your shirt.

That was why he couldn’t escape you. Matt felt the fabric in his hands, ran his fingers over the soft material. It must have been on the back of the chair he had draped his jacket on at your house. Placing the shirt on top of his hoodie, Matt took a seat onto the cool leather. It practically felt like ice against his bare back, and he savored the feeling. His repose lasted only moments as your scent once again ensnared him, making his mind go hazy as he looked toward the arm chair where your shirt was. Arousal stirred low in his body, and his fingers gripped the leather cushion, fighting against the growing length against the fabric of his pants.

Matt groaned, letting his head fall backwards, squeezing his eyes shut. He had to think of anything else except you, but that was difficult when he could not get away from you. Even though you weren’t there, he ached for you, grateful he had kept himself under control while the two of you were sparring.

Matt kept trying to send his mind elsewhere, but between the way the smell of the shirt affected him and the strain of his cock he was done for. He was going to hell anyway, so what did it matter?

He thought about just before he had submitted to you, the entanglement of limbs, the weight of your body on his. The way you had as good as moaned as you writhed underneath him, trying to free yourself from his hold.  Matthew’s hand traveled below the waist of his sweats, hand grasping around himself, stroking lightly.

Matt wondered what you would be like, in terms of sexual preference. Would you become soft, malleable;  A stark contrast to your personality? Would you yield to him, let him do anything he wanted?

His grip tightened, slowing down even more as he contemplated the idea. You being submissive to him was an alluring thought. But what if your taste was…the opposite and it matched your personality? What if you were as aggressive there as you had been an hour ago when you made him submit to you?

Matthew wasn’t sure which thought excited him more and he groaned at both possibilities.

He then pondered what you would sound like. He had a vague idea, based solely on the noises you made when you were in pain or when he pinned you, and he swore up and down that you did it on purpose, just to torture him. But what would you sound like in that setting? Would you be loud and direct with what you want or would you be quieter until you reached your climax? Matt began to stroke faster, setting his legs wider. What sound would you make as he spread your legs and slid inside you? His tongue parted his lips, lost in contemplation. Matthew ventured to let his mind wander to what you would taste like.

This was wrong, so incredibly wrong but he just couldn’t stop. He would get on his knees and confess his sins between your thighs if you gave him the chance, each orgasm he would give you his penance for his trespasses. Matt would give you as many as you wanted, as many as you could take and would do it gladly, just because he knew he could. He would be far different from anyone else who had you before; Matt would be able to read your body better because of his heightened senses, and he felt a tinge of satisfaction at the thought. He would pull every beautiful, sinful sound that he could from you until you begged him to stop.

Matthew felt the heat begin to coil within him as a deeper, darker thought crossed his mind; the way your throat felt under his hand today, and every other time he touched you. He wanted the frisson of excitement to trail across your body as his hands would explore you, feel your pulse race under the pressure of his hand around your neck. 

Close. He was so close.

The mere instance of you being atop him today had almost made him lose it, right then and there. The weight of your body on his hips was so inviting, and he envisioned it there now, with one exception.

He imagined you on top of him, riding him with his cock buried inside you, nails digging into his shoulders as you grew closer to the edge. What you would feel like between his teeth as he breathed you in. You would be warm, and wrapped around him so tightly from that position. He would be able to watch you as you fell apart on top of him, his fingers between your legs as you would rise and fall.  He’d be right behind you, spilling into you and rutting upwards, even though you were both overstimulated.

Matt finished with a ragged moan at the thought of you whimpering, with him still sheathed inside you, too overwhelmed to even form words. He flowed onto his hand, over his fingers, hips jerking in aftershock. His chest heaved, sweat was running down his back. Matt stood, heading to wash his hands, flopping into his bed soon after. He breathed deeply, running his hand through his hair. He felt somewhat better, but also worse. He would have to tell you or you would never know. Know how much he wanted you, how much you meant to him… how much he loved you.

⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸⚸

You had flopped down in your bed almost immediately after showering, towel open beneath you. You had set the water to nearly scalding to soothe your sore body and you were cooling down. Matt had been very…. tactile this morning. It seemed like he took every opportunity that presented itself to touch you, trying to distract you and throw you off later. Or maybe he just wanted to touch you. You were both lonely and starved for touch, and the pair of you snuggling down on the couch while you read to him or described a movie for him wasn’t unheard of. You had both slept in the same bed more than once and woken up with an arm wrapped around each other or a hand reaching towards the other. You were almost always touching each other in some way, whether it was in a comforting way or if it was to tend to each other's wounds in the late night hours.

You contemplated some more, concluding that he had, in fact , been trying to throw you off. Matthew may be blind, but he wasn’t stupid. Far from it. He was exceedingly, and unfairly attractive and he knew it. The way he smirked and tilted his head so often during your training was a testament to that. While it annoyed you, it was also enticing to look at him. Between his ample lips and that Gods damned dimple? You often found yourself staring at them both, wondering what they would feel like on you, in more places than just your mouth. You pulled a pillow over your head and groaned in frustration. Matt was amazing, but he did not want you, not like that. He was still mourning Elektra, and you were his friend, his partner. You didn’t want to cross that line unless he invited it, didn;t want to push it or misread it. Matt and the Devil were one in the same, a multifaceted duality of a person. Complex and forthright, all at once.

Throwing the pillow back in its place, you couldn't help but think about the events of that morning. The same hands that knew such violence and inflicted pain could be gentle and soothing , like they had been today when he unwrapped your hands and worked magick with his own. The very hands that had gripped your hips, telling you to “Spread your legs a little wider for me. Just like that.” and had made you want to close your legs, want to rub your thighs together for a taste of friction. His voice had been low and demanding in your ear. It was a miracle you hadn’t asked him to touch you out of reflex. When he moaned at you pulling his hair to distract him, had he scented the change in you? The arousal that had made you want him, did he know? Or would he attribute it to your body’s natural reaction to the excitement of sparring and nothing more? The fact that Matthew could hear, taste, smell and feel on a much greater scale than the average human was both irritating and intoxicating. He would know exactly what you wanted, what you needed, without you having to utter a word.

Your hand traveled  upward, towards your throat that Matt had touched earlier. You would gladly have endured the pain it would cause you currently if he were to have applied pressure. You had almost fucking moaned at the contact, but had restrained yourself somehow. Your hand trailed down your skin, wishing it was the lightly calloused hands that had been on your earlier. You shivered at the thought of Matthew touching you like this, like you wanted him to. Would he be taken aback by your scars or turned on by them? You had many, maybe even more than he did.  You knew that the dominance he presented during training and fighting alongside you would most likely translate to the bedroom. If it had not been for your determination to make him submit to you, you would have given in the second he pinned you to the mat. You felt your hips rise slightly as your fingers ghosted over the cradle of your pelvis, moving even lower to the ache between your thighs.

It wouldn’t change anything between you if you thought of him while you touched yourself, so you had no reservations about it as your fingers found your core soaking. You drew small, languid circles around your clit, imagining it was Matt’s hands or better yet, his tongue. He was constantly licking his lips and it was often distracting to watch it glide over his pretty mouth. You wanted both his tongue and his lips on you, wherever he wanted, he could taste you. Imagining the scrape of his stubble against the inside of your leg sent a thrill through you. You could hear his voice in your head again, and you fixated on it, fingers moving a little faster now.

“Good girl. Just like that.”

A breathy, quiet moan escaped your lips at the reminder of his praise.  You felt the heat crawl up your legs- you wouldn’t last long if you kept envisioning what Matt would be like in bed. How he would feel touching you, fingers sliding inside you to tease you until you couldn’t stand it any longer and neither could he. How would he take you? Would he pin you down like earlier with both hands? Or would he hold you in one hand and wrap the other around your throat? You reveled at the thought of just giving yourself over to him and not having to think, only feel. You would let him do anything he wanted, and there wasn’t much you didn't find pleasure in. You would willingly submit to him, as long as that meant he was touching you. You felt the familiar heat twining low in your belly, and you felt your release climbing toward its end. Matt’s voice was burned into your mind, and it wasn’t hard to pretend you could feel the brush of his mouth behind your ear and you chased your orgasm.

“Good girl, cum for me.”

You cried out, eyes shutting hard as you writhed against your sheets. You panted, exhausted. You wanted Matt so desperately, and that alone sobered you. You had never been able to have casual sex or think of anyone casually and get off; you simply could not unless there was an emotional connection. You had been denying it all this time, but this was the final nail in the coffin. He deserved better than you, someone whole. There was so much you still hadn’t told him, had not been ready to tell him.

You were not sure you ever would be able to explain to him the horrors of your past, even though Matthew may very well be the only person to understand how much violence and pain it took to make you as gentle as you were sometimes.

You had told yourself over and over again You do not want him.

That you were just touch starved and lonely, and that he was off limits. You were both still grieving, and that wouldn’t be right.

You rolled over, pulling the covers over you. You had two hours before your virtual client would be on, and you needed some sleep before you ran off into the night with Matt. If that is all you could have, you would still take it over never having him at all.

[cycat4077]

This is 1000% what Sonny would do and oh, so sweet! Love this so, so, so much!!!

HC for Sonny being the emotional support for an over-worked and frustrated reader who's feverishly working on something academic that isn't going her way. Platonic or romantic, up to you but I'm in that boat right now and could use some wholesome fluff 🥺

Sonny can tell from your text messages that something’s wrong--you’re normally writing paragraphs to him. But now, he’s only getting one-word responses. He sends an “are you okay?” text, then watches the bubbles appear and disappear multiple times before getting back a “yes.”

Now he knows something’s wrong. He tells his boss he’s gotta go (whether Liv or Hadid), and hurries to your place. He stops by a corner market on the way, buying food, and then he’s at your apartment, knocking loudly and bouncing on the balls of his feet while he waits for you to answer. He’s just debating kicking your door in when you open it, looking mildly surprised to see him standing there.

“S-Sonny?” you get out before he’s pushing past you into your apartment.

“What’s going on?” he asks, setting the grocery bag down on a table. “And don’t try and tell me it’s nothin’. Come on, talk to me.”

Tears start welling up, and Sonny’s coming towards you, his hands resting on your shoulders. “It’s okay--you’re fine. Here, help me with dinner.” He’s hopeful that the change in subject, the distraction, will help calm you down.

“I-I don’t have time to eat, Sonny. I have a paper due tomorrow, and it’s just...not going well.” It sounded pathetic to be crying over an assignment, but you were frustrated, hungry, and sleep deprived.

“Anything I can help with?” He guides you to your couch, sitting down with you. He can already tell from the textbooks littering the table that he has no clue what you’re working on.

“No, I just...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you--I’m fine.”

“You are absolutely not fine,” he murmurs, looking deeply into your eyes. “Take a break--”

“It’s due tomorrow! I can’t--”

“You can take a 20 minute break. Trust me--it’ll help.” You were about to argue more when he pulled you into a hug. “I’ve been where you are--I know how hopeless it feels. But you got this. It’s not a weakness to step away for a moment, even if it’s 5 minutes. You need to let your brain relax, reset. Forcing it to work so hard can only hurt.”

You nodded against him, melting into his embrace. He held you for a long time before pulling back and giving you a soft smile. “Now, I’m going to go make you dinner--no, don’t argue, you need to eat. Feel free to take a break and come talk to me.”

You watched as he stood and went to your kitchen, taking the grocery bag with him. And though he had no idea what you were working on, having him there, and talking, bouncing ideas off him, was the best thing you could ask for.

[saiilorstars]

Hearts’ Limits

Ch.8: Big Little Lie

Fandom: SVU; Sonny Carisi x OFC

Current Masterlist // Emilia’s Masterlist

taglist:@arrthurpendragon​​​​​ @anotherunreadblog​​​​​ @maaaaarveeeeel​​​​ ​​ @stareyedplanet​​​​​ ​​​​​ @averyhotchner​ ​​​​ @foxesandmagic​​​​​​ 

Warnings: Due to the nature of the series’ plots, I do have to rate this as ‘mature’ for constant mentions of rape.

"Alice, I cannot believe you did that," Emilia sighed over their phone. She laid on her couch with a hand over her forehead, fingers rubbing deep circles over her skin.

Alice snorted. "Do what?"

"You purposely gave Detective Carisi those cards!"

"So he could bring them to you? Yeah, I did. What's the big deal?"

Emilia moved her hand off her forehead. "The big deal is that you did it to fuel your imagination."

"No, I did it so that gorgeous detective could cheer you up. And he did, right?" Emilia could just hear the smirk on Alice's face. "He so did, I know it!"

Emilia sighed deeply. Her mind wandered to two nights ago when Sonny had stopped by with the letters her students made for her. He did make her smile and laugh, but not for his professional bits. She hardly focused on those.

"So what did you guys do anyways?" Alice eagerly asked. "Little talking? Maybe hugs? A kiss?"

"Alice! No! Don't even joke about that!" Emilia scolded.

Alice laughed. "I wasn't! It would be very nice to be kissed by a man like that."

Emilia absolutely hated herself for even daring to think about the idea of Sonny kissing her. "There are limits here, Alice. Boundaries? He is the detective on my case. He can't possibly get anywhere near me like that."

"Who says?"

"The rules!"

Alice waited a second to speak again. "Rules were meant to be broken."

"Alice, I can't believe you right now." That was a lie. Emilia had known Alice for a while enough to know this was perfectly in sync with her personality. "Thank you for the cards, though. Tell the kids I'll be back soon."

"Will you really?" Alice asked, not wanting to sound too unconvinced.

"Yes, I figure I have a much better shot at finding this stalker if I'm leaving the house more often."

"Well, I mean, it's all good when you have the gorgeous—"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence," Emilia warned her. "Maybe it's better if they back off too, the police? Maybe they're intimidating the guy into hiding and what I want, what I need, is for him to step out."

"I think you should leave the police the way they are. They're helping protect you, after all."

"I don't know, I just don't want anyone else to die because of me. I don't think I could handle that." Emilia didn't even want to think about the "next time". There wouldn't be one, not if she could help it.

~0~

A few more days would pass by before Emilia returned to work. She'd mostly done it to see if she could start baiting this stalker on her own. She was more vigilant, at least that's what she liked to tell herself. Wherever she went, she would look around at least twice to notice anything or anyone out of place.

"That's our job," Amanda told her one day during school hours.

Emilia would then respond with a polite smile and a shake of her head. "He wants me, remember?"

To which then Alice, whenever she heard, would reprimand Emilia for thinking that way. "It is not your job! It's theirs!" She pointed over to Nick standing at a distance to oversee the playground. "It's what they studied for!"

"It doesn't sit well with me," Emilia grumbled. She glanced over at Nick who was just watching the playground. She was sure that he had a lot more pressing cases to deal with instead of watching her work with a bunch of five year olds. Everyone did.

"Well too bad," Alice said, "Don't go doing anything stupid until that guy is caught, alright? For yourself, for the kids here, for all of us, stay out of trouble."

"Yeah, alright," Emilia nodded.

She had every intention of trying to have a normal day. She even had lesson plans she would start today, but half an hour later she received a text from her sister, Raelyn.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me," Emilia hissed after reading the long message.

Alice, who stood beside Emilia, openly gaped at the language. Emilia always remembered her professional boundaries and for her to momentarily slip like this meant whatever was on that phone had to be big.

"What is it?" She tried asking Emili during their recess where it was easier to converse without being overheard by any of the kids.

"It's Raelyn. She's messed up." Emilia looked positively livid. Alice suspected the only reason Emilia wasn't screaming is because of their students.

"What did she say?"

"It's what she said and did," Emilia muttered. "She saw Sonny and I one day outside the apartment and she just automatically assumed we were dating and since I would rather die than admit about the case, Raelyn sort of went home with that idea."

Alice chuckled.

"Shut up," Emilia promptly said before continuing with her story. "I begged her not to say anything to our parents. But of course, being the annoying big sister that she is, she couldn't keep her mouth shut."

Alice was barely holding onto her second laugh. "Don't tell me that she told…"

Emilia nodded grimly. "My stalker won't be able to get me anymore because I'm going to jail for murdering my sister. My parents now want to have lunch with us on Saturday. One p.m sharp."

Alice burst into laughter so loud that she attracted some of their students' attention. Soon enough, they were surrounding Alice asking her why she was laughing.

Emilia decided she needed to walk away before she murdered Alice as well. Double homicide was just a bit too much.

She headed back inside with the excuse that she needed the restroom, only stopped by Nick on the way in.

"Everything okay?" He asked, noticing the pained look on Emilia's face.

"Peachy," she answered in a spat.

Nick backed off if only not to agitate her even more. He decided to come up to Alice instead just to verify that Emilia was alright and safe.

"Yeah, she's alright," Alice said, biting her lip so as to not laugh again. That was probably what helped set Emilia off too. "On a completely unrelated note, when's Detective Carisi's day again?"

"Friday, why?" Nick eyed Alice strangely.

"No reason, just curious," Alice smiled much too sweetly. She was quick to relay the answer to Emilia when they were together again.

During class, Emilia was locked in that she couldn't reprimand Alice for even asking Nick that nor for having the outrageous idea that she would actually talk to Sonny about this.

"Well, what are you going to do then?" Alice challenged for a good answer. She watched a few of their students pass out the green construction paper they were going to use for an art project.

"First, I'm going to scream at Raelyn until she shrivels up," Emilia said, coming by the opposite side of their table to hand out orange construction paper, "And then I'm going to somehow convince my parents that you know who isn't in town. Or maybe that we just broke up. Actually, I like the second one instead. A lot easier and I might even get some free lunch along the way."

"You are such a coward," Alice made sure to whisper when Emilia was closer.

"Well, what do you want me to do?" Emilia incredulously demanded.

"Tell the detective about this!"

It was like Emilia had heard blasphemy. "Absolutely not! He already did me the favor of letting Raelyn believe this stuff and I am not going to ask him to play boyfriend with me for my parents." The mere idea of that had her stomach twisting and churning. She might take her lunch break earlier just to go and throw up.

"Maybe with this you wouldn't have to just 'play' anymore," Alice mumbled.

"Alice," Emilia threw her friend a glare.

"Just saying," Alice smiled sweetly. She hurried along to start the art project.

Emilia shook her head. She would figure something out before Saturday. It was Wednesday. She had plenty of time to come up with a good plan.

~0~

Come Friday, Emilia was still trying to figure things out. She had cornered Raelyn Wednesday night and she was rather proud that she almost made Raylen cry.

Serves her right for screwing me over. Emilia lamented the fact that it didn't fix anything. Her parents still wanted to have lunch.

That Friday morning, Emilia couldn't look Sonny in the eyes without flushing so she opted not to even try. When Sonny greeted her at the start of school, Emilia mumbled 'good morning' back and hurried inside.

"Have you said anything?" Alice whispered during the students' snack time.

Emilia shook her head fervently. "No, of course not. How can I look him in the eyes and tell him this?"

"Just like how you always talk to people?" Alice's suggestion was not well received. Emilia went around the kids' tables picking up trash whilst glaring at Alice.

"It's different," Emilia hissed on her way past Alice. She went to throw the trash away.

"Yeah, I wonder why," Alice mumbled under her breath. Thankfully, Emilia didn't hear a thing. "You're going to have to do something by tomorrow," Alice spoke normally when Emilia returned.

"I'm just going to go to lunch and while we're 'waiting', I'll pretend to get a text from him saying that a case has come up."

Alice snorted loud enough to cause giggles from a few students nearby. Emilia made a motion for those students to settle down.

"It's the only thing I can do," Emilia finally said, sighing in the process.

"Not the only thing," Alice once again mumbled.

Emilia pretended she didn't hear that. She focused on picking up the remaining snack trash and moving the students along towards their next activity. Along the morning, Emilia received several more texts that Alice assumed were from Raelyn. Emilia looked more nervous with each new message.

"I think I'm going to need a cup of coffee," Emilia decided around ten a.m when the students were busy doing individual work. "Maybe two."

"The phone keeps buzzing, huh?" Alice asked, eyeing the phone in Emilia's hand. It was lighting up again with a new text.

Emilia sighed. "Yeah, my mother's taking the liberty of having a whole conversation with me even though she knows I'm at work. She's so excited that I have a…" Emilia cleared her throat, "You know what…"

Alice snorted again. "Yeah, I think I know what…"

"And she's just so excited because it's been a while and whatnot."

"Oh right," Alice recalled the last boyfriend Emilia had a while back, "Nate. He was cute."

Emilia playfully rolled her eyes. "Not the point, Alice."

"But not as cute as—"

"I'm getting coffee!" Emilia exclaimed strategically and started for the door. She ignored Alice's laugh behind her. It certainly didn't help to get another text from her mother as soon as she stepped outside.

Be sure to be on time please! We are super excited to meet your boyfriend!

Emilia didn't bother to read the rest of the text. It wouldn't matter because said (fake) boyfriend wasn't even going to show up.

"Emilia," Sonny's call had been more startling for Emilia than the entire idea of having dinner with her parents.

It was embarrassing scrambling to catch her phone before it fell out of her hands. Sonny was too kind to ever say a thing — Emilia was eternally grateful for it.

"Hey," Sonny greeted her again, having noticed that her eyes never really met his.

"Hi," Emilia said quietly, finding the bulletin board of the classroom opposite of them truly interesting. "Did you leave?"

"Huh? Oh, no, well, sort of," Sonny bobbed his head. "I had a call from my Sergeant."

"No, no, I didn't mean to accuse you," Emilia said quickly, "Just asking. Course I know I'm not your only case. Sad reality, huh?"

Sonny smiled sadly. What he would give for Emilia not to be a "case" anymore. "Were you going somewhere? Not time for your break, is it?" He checked his watch just to make sure he hadn't lost track of time. "Oh no, it's only 10. Individual work time, right?"

Emilia's eyebrows raised with surprise. "Yes, how did you know?"

It was Sonny's turn to flush with embarrassment. "Part of the case is we have to learn your schedule." That was a lie. He only needed to be where Emilia was. Learning the schedule of a kindergarten class was not part of the case.

"Oh, so you have to learn what my kids do every hour," Emilia made a face, "Can't really not laugh at that knowing you're a detective."

"What? Ladybug dot painting is at 11, isn't it?" Sonny was only half joking with her. It was actually at 11:15, right after circle time.

Emilia let out a light chuckle. "Yeah, you're right. I was just getting some coffee before. Art can be very energy-draining."

"With 5 year olds? I bet. Dot paint goes anywhere but the paper, am I right?" At Emilia's impressed expression, Sonny added the fact he had a couple nieces.

"Oh," Emilia crossed her arms, "So you really do know the schedules then!"

"They're older now but I've seen my share fair of, uh, moments with crafts. Once again, teachers have more patience than God himself." Sonny did a mock salute for Emilia, earning another laugh from her. My God he just couldn't get enough of that...

Emilia soon felt self-conscious just standing in the hallway with the gorge—detective. With the detective. She swallowed hard, trying to deal with the impossible pit of warmth in her chest as subtly as possible. "I was just—" she stumbled over her own words. "Coffee. I was getting coffee," she managed to say a moment later. Her phone buzzed again. She squeezed it tight.

"Okay, I'll walk with you," Sonny said, unknowingly making it final that Emilia didn't have a choice.

He's doing his job, she reminded herself. He really was.

They walked the hallway and a few seconds later, Emilia's phone screen lit up with a new incoming message.

"Really busy, huh Miss Emilia?" Sonny teased.

Emilia swallowed hard. "Aha…"

"Something bothering you? You know, besides the obvious?" Sonny could guess the answer on his own but he thought he should offer Emilia the opportunity to say it herself. Plus, he would really like to hear her voice. For some reason, she hadn't really spoken to him this morning.

"No, um, not really," Emilia shrugged. Liar.

Sonny didn't quite believe it — he didn't believe it at all. "Are you sure?"

"Well, my parents invited me to lunch tomorrow and…"

"Ah, got it," Sonny cut in with a small laugh. "Parents."

Emilia nodded. "Yeah. My mother's just over the top and it's overwhelming."

"Nitty gritty with every detail, right?" Sonny counted a point for himself when Emilia finally met his eye. She smiled sheepishly.

"Yeah," she said.

Sonny smiled back at her. "My mother's the same. Maybe it's just a Mom thing."

"I don't know but whatever it is, I wish it would stop. I can't handle that along with my 25 other kids here."

"Yeah, that could get tricky," Sonny said, chuckling again. He had to laugh again when he heard Emilia's phone buzzing.

Emilia groaned. "Oh my God! I might just throw this thing out!"

"Wouldn't do that — everything's on the cellphone these days," Sonny warned. "Maybe just try turning it off?"

"Turning it off," Emilia sighed as she only just now thought of it. She looked over at Sonny with gratitude. "Seriously, thanks." She might pay for it later with her mother but right now, she wanted absolute silence from her phone.

"No problem," Sonny said, glancing at her from the corner of his eye. She was stuffing her phone away as fast as possible. "Was it really that bad?"

"Yes," Emilia said without a second thought. "She caught me off guard, basically."

"Don't they always?"

Emilia laughed. She nodded.

"But listen, in all honesty, if there's something I can help you out with, let me know," Sonny said, daring to put his hand on Emilia's shoulder for a moment. He may have kept his hand there for an extra second when Emilia gave him another smile.

"You don't have to," she said. He had enough on his plate with her case for her to go and add something stupid like this.

"No, it's not part of the job but if I'm able to, I'll do it," Sonny assured, never knowing how much Emilia truly appreciated his gesture. "Is there something I can help you with?"

Emilia stopped walking suddenly, deliberating her answer because for a moment she almost considered telling him the truth. Would he laugh kindly at her? Or would he be upset his little gesture of a white lie grew into something way bigger?

He said he wasn't seeing anyone. But that was a while ago. Things can change and you don't know what he does outside of work.

"Em?" The use of her nickname slipped so easily from Sonny that he only realized a moment later. Still, he waited patiently for Emilia to answer and for a comment about that new nickname.

"...no," Emilia finally said. Her head lowered, whether in shame or utter guilt she had no idea. Embarrassment seemed like the best way to go.

Sonny didn't feel the need to go deeper into that. He was sure if Emilia had something big to deal with, someone would help. "Alright then," he nodded.

Emilia continued to walk then, but she started biting her nail every now and then. Sonny also noted that she stopped looking him in the eyes again after that.

~0~

"You are so stupid," Alice did not hold back her thoughts one bit. She couldn't believe that Emilia missed the opportunity to let Sonny in on the situation.

Emilia was thankful that the detective in question was taking another call outside the class. The students were gone and now they were doing their afternoon cleaning before heading home.

"He would have helped you!"

"I don't know that — I don't know his life!" Emilia exclaimed. She folded their cleaning rags together. "He might not be okay with this at all."

"Well, you'd never know," Alice said, "You didn't even give him the chance to think about it."

"It's embarrassing!"

"But it's not your fault!"

"I KNOW IT'S NOT!" Emilia yelled abruptly that it left Alice still in her spot. Emilia swallowed and pushed away the lump in her throat, but when she turned towards Alice, the tears in her eyes gave her out. "I know none of this is my fault! How could it be my fault that I have a stalker? I didn't ask for that!"

"Emilia—"

"I definitely didn't ask for people to be killed on my behalf! I'll have to live with the fact that three children are now motherless because of me and I shouldn't have to feel this way!"

"But Emilia—"

"But here I am dealing with the aftermath of other people's decisions! I have to face the three kids who don't have mothers anymore and pretend like nothing happened. I have to constantly be alert for anybody who stares at me a bit longer than normal. And to top it all off—" Emilia laughed bitterly—, "I have to deal with my sister who couldn't keep her mouth shut about a man who is far too sweet to ever tell me no and I refuse to put him in that situation!"

Alice felt like she had opened the can of worms that Emilia had tried so hard to keep shut. Whatever tape Emilia put on the lid was ripped apart.

"I'm done putting everyone into my situations!" Emilia threw the rag in her hand in a random direction—in this case at the door that just so happened to open at the same time.

"Is everything alri—" Sonny flinched when the rag hit him on the nose.

Emilia's hands flung to her mouth, completely mortified. "Oh, of course!"

Sonny looked down at the rag that fell in front of his feet, eyes wide and blinking fast. "Okay…"

"Of course!" Emilia could only wonder how else the universe would decide to screw her over.

"Emilia—"

Emilia couldn't bear to be in the same room with Alice nor Sonny — she had to get out. Now. She bolted.

"Emilia!" Alice called after her friend.

Being right in front of the door gave Sonny the opportunity to catch Emilia on her way out. "Hey, hey, what's the matter?" He didn't expect Emilia to thrash against him, but she did.

"I need to go home! Let me go!"

Sonny was downright dumbfounded with this behavior. He squeezed Emilia's arms in an attempt to keep her still. "Okay — well — Emilia! We can go—"

"ALONE!" Emilia practically shouted in his face. The ferocity in her tone left Sonny still. His grip on her consequently loosened and Emilia was able to pull away. She made a dash for her cubby to retrieve her things then ran out the classroom.

Alice stared at the scene with a similar dumbfounded expression.

Sonny couldn't believe it. He had never seen Emilia like that but at the same time, he couldn't say he was completely shocked. He'd seen this type of behavior show up in victims — some would just take longer to bloom. "What pushed her?" He asked suddenly.

Alice blinked at him, taking a moment to process the question thrown at her. "What?"

Sonny looked away from the open door and met Alice's gaze. "What set her off?"

"Um…" Alice went through her options and which ones guaranteed Emilia's best interests. Emilia can't possibly get more pissed off now, she reasoned with herself.

"Alice," Sonny's voice was sharp now, his whole body turned in Alice's direction, "This is important. Emilia can't go on with that kind of behavior. It puts her in danger, alright? What happened?"

Alice still deliberated for another minute. At least Sonny could see that she was in a true struggle — she wasn't staying quiet out of desire.

"Let me ask you this," she started, licking her lips, "And you have to answer honestly."

Sonny nodded, giving Alice the gesture to ask away.

"How much do you like Emilia?"

[thatesqcrush]

SEXY & SMUTTY SUMMERTIME BINGO MASTER LIST

Updated 8/31/2021

@thatesqcrush

The Nanny Pt. 4 (Kneef)

The Nanny Pt. 5 (Kneef)

In Another Time, Pt. 7 (Kneef)

In Another Time - mini, set between chs. 7 + 8 (Kneef)

In Another Time, Pt. 8 (Kneef)

For Your Pleasure (Kneef/reader/Barba)

Reset (Kneef)

Office Surprise (Kneef)

Voire Dire Mini: Netflix & Chill (Barba)

Throuple Series: Delayed Gratification & part two. (Kneef/reader/Barba)

Late Night (Barba)

@beccabarba

First Impact (Amaro)

Vol de Nuit, Pt. 2 (Cabot)

A Losing Game (Kneef)

Nevada & the Good Girl: Making a Splash (Nevada Ramirez)

Unlikely Lovers, Ch. 6 & Ch. 7 collab with @itsjustmyfantasyroom (Amaro)

A Very Good Morning (Amaro/reader/Barba)

A Mouth Full of Kneef (Kneef)

Flying & Falling (Kneef)

@prurientpuddlejumper

A Very Kneef Proposal (Kneef)

Spit Roast Psychiatrist (Kneef/M! Reader/Chilton) (Kneef/F!Reader/Chilton) & part two: F! Reader, M! Reader.

Spit Roast Psychiatrist Part three.

Spit Roast Psychiatrist Part four, F! Reader, M! Reader.

Spit Roast Psychiatrist Part 5, F! Reader, M! Reader

Spit Roast Psychiatrist: Epilogue

I Wanted This (Barba) written with @barbingchilton CW: Non-con, dark!fic

Pool Sex & Epilogue (Chilton)

@teamsladsandgents

Renovations (Barba)

Your Achievements, Baseball AU (Carisi)

Here, Let Me (Mike Dodds)

Your Turn (Stone/reader/Barba)

Your Turn, Pt. 2 (Stone/reader/Barba)

Lingerie (Amaro)

The R Drug (Carisi) CW: non-con, dark!fic

Delayed Honeymoon (Mike Dodds)

In A Park (Amaro)

For Our Girl (M. Dodds/reader/Carisi)

Compliments (Stone)

Hot & Cold (Barba)

Small Injuries & Big Proposals (Carisi)

Missed Your Taste (Carisi)

Lazy Mornings (Stone)

The Secret Side (Dodds)

Making a Mess (Stone)

@aries-rising-on-an-aquarius-tide

Winning Streak (Barson)

Coronation (Cabenson)

Fast Pitch (Benovak)

Helter Swelter (Rolivia)

Souvenir: Part 1 & Part 2 (Rolivia)

Betting Against the Spread (Benson/Cabot/Stabler x reader)

Divine Altars (Rolivia)

Internal Reprimand (Benson/Barba/Rollins)

Pandora's Tickle Trunk (Rolivia)

@darkheart-brightsmile

The Result of a Bad Day (Barba)

Caught Red Handed (Barba)

Eye of the Storm, Pt. 3 (Barson)

The Tie Comes Off, Pt. 1 (Barba)

The Time Comes Off, Pt. 2 (Barba)

@storiesofsvu

Showtime (Cabot)

Clean Her Up (Donelly)

Fashionably Late (Nevada Ramirez)

The Brat Experience (Donnelly/Novak/Cabot)

Yacht Getaway (Calhoun)

Challenge Accepted (Novak)

Sweet Thing (Barhoun)

Stuffed (Nevada Ramirez)

@lannister-slings-and-arrows / @pascalispretty

Love in the Time of Chestbursters (Chilton/reader/Barba)

See You in the Morning Time (Chilton/Barba)

Like Lovers Do (Chilton/Reader/Barba)

Like Lovers Do, Ch. 2 (Chilton/Reader/Barba)

Like Loves Do, Ch. 3 (Chilton/Reader/Barba)

Shades of Black & Blue (Calhoun/Reader/Carisi)

Shades of Black & Blue, Ch. 2 (Calhoun/Reader/Carisi)

Shades of Black & Blue, Ch. 3 (Calhoun/Reader/Carisi)

Shades of Black & Blue, Ch. 4 (Calhoun/Reader/Carisi)

@itsjustmyfantasyroom

Long Time Coming (Barba)

Hiding (Amaro)

I'll Take Care of You (Amaro)

History Repeating (Amaro/Carisi/Barba x Reader)

Badge to Suit Case (Amaro)

Bubbles and Chocolate (Barba)

@navalcriminalimagines

Birthday Girl (Dodds/Barba/Amaro/Sonny x Reader)

@cycat-carisi

Mint (Carisi)

@madamsnape921

On The Plus Side (Chilton)

On The Plus Side, Ch. 2 (Chilton)

On the Plus Side, Ch. 3 (Chilton)

[partofmultifandoms]

Welcome to my

~ M a s t e r L i s t ~

POMF’s Note: Welcome to my Master List! To introduce myself, I’m a 23 year-old with no clear future. To fill my time, I daydream. I’m no writer but I’ve always wanted to be a better one so practicing makes sense. I love Harry Potter, Law & Order SVU, Marvel, Gilmore Girls, The Office, Outerbanks, The 100, Teen Wolf, and Stranger Things. Happy reading! <3

Harry Potter

Draco Malfoy

Dating Draco Malfoy would feel like…

Dating Draco Malfoy would include…

Theodore Nott

My fancast for Theo

The Slytherin & The Ravenclaw — Random Slytherin x Ravenclaw conversations.

Flower Theft One Shot — Modern AU: Sometimes Person A steals flowers from Person B’s garden on their way to the cemetery, but one day, Person B catches Person A and demands to go with them to “make sure the girl/boy is pretty/handsome enough to warrant stealing their flowers”. Person A is just trying to figure out how to break it to Person B that they’re on their way to a cemetery.

Too Cold — Theo doesn’t get why she loves standing in the freezing snow so much but he’s there to offer his coat.

Fred Weasley

Dating Fred Weasley would feel like…

Dating Fred Weasley would include…

Marvel Cinematic Universe

Bucky Barnes

Freckles — Reader has freckles. Tony Stark is having another one of his parties and Natasha has decided to set Bucky up on a date with her friend. Oh and Bucky’s obsessed with freckles.

FATWS TikTok inspired blurb — x Platonic!Gender Neutral!Reader. You, Bucky, and Sam all reluctantly deciding to get into the truck with John Walker and Battlestar Galactica because, unfortunately, they’re right. There’s no point in walking all the way to airport.

Loki Laufeyson

The Truths of the Universe — One Shot — Asgard has been destroyed and you and Loki are curled up in a corner on the ship away from everyone else. You’re restless until Loki reads you peacefully to sleep.

Law & Order: SVU

Sonny Carisi [Coming soon]

Mike Dodds

Dating Mike Dodds would include…

Told Ya So — Mike returns to work a little too soon after getting shot. Luckily you’re there to comfort him when he gets home.

Rafael Barba [Coming soon]

Other Characters From Other Universes

Spencer Reid

Fate’s Doing — Ink!Soulmate AU: In which whatever one person draws on their skin shows up on their soulmate’s skin.

[amxranthiine]

c i c a t r i z e (aragorn x reader) pt. iii

cicatrize (v.) to find healing by the process of forming scars. Pronouns: She/her A/n: Yes yes I know it’s been a while. I’ve been trying to get my grades up before the semester ends and haven’t had much time to sit down and write. This is sort of a filler, I’m posting it now because I feel so bad for making you guys wait. Warnings: Alcohol, maybe light swearing? Summary:  Y/n is Aragorn’s childhood best friend. However, when they got older, Y/n’s feelings towards her long time friend changed, but he is infatuated with the Evenstar. Out of heartbreak, she leaves Rivendell and sets off on her own, leaving her love and all she ever knew. When Elrond’s Council takes place, Y/n is forced back to her home and everything she ever knew. ⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙ Y/n’s POV. We left Bree a day after the Nazgûl incident, and the six of us were currently taking a stroll through Chetwood Forest. Well... I was taking a stroll. Aragorn was grumpy and tense, as usual. His eyes filled with caution as he led our small party through the gloomy woodland. I had to admit, it was almost... nice, being around him again. He had a sense of familiarity to him, and I missed that, far more than I would ever admit. I still refused to talk to him, though. At least, for more than five minutes, after that point he usually starts asking questions I am not ready to answer. You could call me a coward, as in this moment I was running from my problems- the same problems that had been chasing me, haunting me, since my teen years- and you’re right. I am a coward.  But, I’m a drunk coward. As if that makes it any better. Which, I mean, maybe, but no. I admit, I’m ashamed. Even when I’m old and mature, a grandma in the eyes of regular humans, I still manage to have a terrifying fear of the act of confronting people. I shiver internally at the mere thought of confronting Aragorn. Needing something to distract me, I look to the Hobbits and their adorable companion, Bill. They’re chatty, as usual. They have this aura around them that tells me that they are very suspicious of us. Why wouldn’t they be? Two big people, as they call us, practically kidnap their friend (who just so happens to have the Ring of Power within his grasp), force them to move all of their belongings into one room because they may or may not die and then tell them some very ominous news. Yeah, I wouldn’t trust us either. I go to take a sip of Ale out of my waterskin, the thought of the Ring was giving me a migraine. I raised the skin to my lips, ready to savor the alcoholic taste of the beverage, only to taste nothing. I blink, confused. Then tip the waterskin upside down to see a mere drop of Ale fall out. I purse my lips as I try to hold back tears. All I wanted was one precious sip of Ale, was that too much to ask? By the Valar, the sun hasn’t even reached it’s peak and I’m already out of Ale! This is going to be a long journey. “Where are you taking us?” I hear Frodo call to Aragorn. The latter doesn’t even look back as he responds, “Into the wild.” “Way to be creepy, Strider,” I mumble, and I hear Frodo snicker at my comment. His light footsteps quickly try to match mine as we attempt to keep a steady pace. “Where are you from, Randir?” He asks me. I glance at him and ponder his question for a moment.  “Why, I’m from all over! I’ve been to Gondor, lovely city. The Steward is kind of freaky, though. But other than that, it is a beautiful place. I’ve also been to Rohan, goodness I’ve never seen so many horses in one place! I wonder how King Theoden fairs, I’ve not seen him since he was a young lad. I’ve been to the Shire once, too. I never really understood the meaning of comfort until I stepped foot into your country, little Hobbit. I understood in that moment why your race appreciates the subtly of home and food rather than adventures.” He smiles at this while I wink at him, “Where I was born I do not know; somewhere in the North, I suppose. I grew up in Rivendell, Lord Elrond raised me after my parents passed. His sons; Elladan and Elrohir, found me outside the borders of the lovely city when I was a babe. I lived there until I was 19, after that I left and went off on my own.” I gave him no more details about why I left, for I knew Aragorn was secretly listening by the way his body tensed and shifted in our direction.  “Why did you leave Rivendell?” Frodo asked, curiosity killing the cat. I was suddenly filled with an urge to not let satisfaction bring it back. “Hmm... Now, that, little Hobbit, is a story for another time.” I flash him a grin then proceed to ignore his stare as I walk ahead, a skip in my step as I do so. I saw Aragorn’s shoulders slump in disappointment at my lack of response.  I did not know why he was so insistent on knowing why I left Rivendell. I would think he would have gotten over it. After all, it has been sixty seven years. Behind me I could hear Merry whisper to the others, “How do we know this Strider and Randir are friends of Gandalf?” “I trust Randir, oddly enough. We have no choice but to trust him,” Frodo responds. My heart warmed a little at his trust in me, it’s been a long time since anyone has trusted me. I liked it. “But where are they leading us?” Sam asks in desperation. He did not like that they were following two strangers into the wild. I knew he was a loyal and trustworthy friend. “To Rivendell, Master Gamgee,” Aragorn yells from ahead. I smirk at his attempt to get me to finish the sentence. He knew very well it would work. “To the House of Elrond,” I finish, and laugh quietly and the sound of their small gasps. “Rivendell? We’re going to see the Elves!” ⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙ TAG LIST @entishramblings @canibea-whore-yet @maaaaryx @frulyall @slytherinrising @/thepeanutcollective (im so sorry love i couldn’t find your blog) @carisi-sonny @haleypearce @hc-geralt-23 @lamikahn PLEASE MESSAGE ME IF I MISSED YOU! 

[itsjustmyfantasyroom]

Not so blind.

For: @thatesqcrush​ Valentine’s Bingo which was also requested by my lovely @beccabarba​ who asked for this:

< Heyyy! Could you write Reader x Nick Amaro for Vday Bingo - Blind Date? Maybe he's trying to find someone after the divorce? Imagine turning up to a blind date and it looking like him!!>

Bingo square: Blind Date.

Pairing: Nick Amaro x reader

Warnings: Fluff.

WC: 1044

Enjoy x

The unknown made you nervous. You had never done this before and you were at one point thinking why you agreed to it in the first place. But Sonny and Rafael were right, you needed to stop having flings and settle for a little while. You had just moved into a new apartment not far from the station two apartment blocks from Sonny and Rafael and had just become a 3rd Grade Detective, so it was time for love. You wanted someone to come home too and to share a life with.  

Rafael and Sonny had been at you for a while to let them set you up with someone. They knew everything about you and said that they had a friend that was the perfect match for you, you racked your brains who it could be, you all being so close having the same group of friends in and out of work, you thought it must be someone at the DA’s office or at Fordham with Sonny.

You finally caved about 3 weeks ago when you went over to see Sonny and Rafael for dinner after they just got back from a trip to Cuba for their one year wedding anniversary for Sonny to finally meet the rest of Rafael’s extended family that couldn’t make their wedding.

As you walked into the restaurant you caught yourself in the mirror giving yourself the once over. Fixing your thigh high velvet heeled boots, pulling down your longed sleeved turtle neck black tight fitting dress and fixed your grey fur waist length vest and tucking your curled hair behind your left ear. You walked up to the smiling host stopping to stand beside them,

“Good evening Ms, do you have a reservation?”

“Hello, I do. Table for two under Barba-Carisi”

“Please follow me, the other party is already here” the host smiled at you walking in to the restaurant.

“Have they been waiting long?”

“Not at all” the host smiled over their shoulder “About 5 minutes”

As you walked through the restaurant you weren’t really sure why Sonny and Rafael picked such a fancy one for a blind date, it wasn’t somewhere that you could just get up and walk out if it wasn’t going to plan, they knew full well that you would have been happy with a slice of pizza and soda. Rafael and Sonny assured you over and over that you were going to like their friend and that they knew you would have no problems with him or want to leave.

As you walked through the full restaurant to the purple velvet booths along the side, you looked over the hosts shoulder catching a chocolate brown pair of eyes and big toothy grin that you were familiar with. Your eyes opened wide and your mouth dropped open in shock,

“Y/N” Nick stood up looking ever so handsome in a pair of navy pants and a light blue shirt tucked in, the first few buttons undone and sleeved rolled up.

“Enjoy your meal” the host looked between you both.

“Nick-what? Is this some prank?” you giggled as Nick lent over kissing you on the cheek hello hugging you around your middle.

“I hope not. If I had known they were going to set me up with you I would have agreed a long time ago. They have been at me for ages.”

You both laughed and Nick moved to sit down,

“Well yeah me too. They haven’t shut up about it.” you smiled as you slid into the booth sitting across from Nick.

You both sat there eyes locked smiling at each other,

“You look so beautiful Y/N” Nick grabbed your hand giving it a squeeze “you have no idea how happy I’ am that it’s you. They said I wouldn’t regret it if I said yes” Nick winked at you.

You squeezed his hand back, moving to interlock your fingers with his “You look so handsome Nick. I’ am over the moon it’s you. I was so nervous”

“You don’t need to be nervous with me babe” Nick rubbed his thumb over yours looking down at your lips and then back into your eyes.

“Ms Y/L/N, Mr Amaro” You both looked up, pulling your hands away from each other, as a waiter sat a bottle of your favourite wine in the middle of the table with two wine glasses, “This is complementary of Mr and Mr Barba-Carisi. They also asked if I could pass this on” The waiter handed you a folded piece of paper “Enjoy your night”

You opened the paper to Rafael’s hand writing on the personalised stationary you brought them when they got engaged,

Our Amor & Amaro,

Surprise, guess it’s not as blind as you think. You guys were taking too long to make a move, so we made it for you. We told you both you wouldn’t regret it. The bill will be taken care of, make sure you plan a second date. Amaro you can pay for that one!

R & S Barba-Carisi xo  

You smiled wide your cheeks blushing red and you handed Nick the note watching as his face and eyes lit up, a big smile spread across his face shaking his head laughing folding the paper closed and sitting it on the table,

“As much as it pains me to say it, they are right” Nick shuffled around the table “Come closer Y/N” Nick patted the seat next to him. You done as he asked sliding over leaving a small gap between you both. Nick looked down at the gap you left and then looked up at you with a smirk “You can come closer, I don’t bite- on the first date anyway” You giggled and moved over, Nick putting his arm around you kissing your temple.

You turned your head, your nose almost resting on his. Nicks lips met yours, the kiss soft and just right, butterflies filling your belly.

“What if I like getting bitten” you said above a whisper resting your hand on his knee. You heard Nick growl his lips moving to your ear, his breath fanning down you neck sending a shiver down you spine.

“Then let’s make this quick and get back to mine.”

Tags: @witches-unruly-heart​ @teamsladsandgents​ @permanentlydizzy​ @lovebennycolonmiguelgalindo​ @amorestevens​

[inactive-shroomiehomie]

SFW Alphabet - Sonny Carisi

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Sonny loves holding you anyway he can. He’s a big physical affection type of guy! Sitting casually in his lap on the couch, Sonny towering behind you with his arms hugging your shoulders from behind. He doesn’t like smooching or being too cuddly in public, but he just can’t stay away from you !

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

It doesn’t matter how long he’s known you, Dominick is a loyal friend. If he goes against you in anyway, he has a pretty damn good reason or it’s for your own good. If you’re in a bad mood, Sonny would come over and cook for you and you two would goof around until he had to go back home or until he passed out on your couch.

You are both night-time law students and you get to arguing over some study case you were both given for an assignment- and you out smart him. He starts laughing in disbelief and offers to buy you a coffee. Then you two are hanging out at the bar after classes, throwing darts and throwing back drinks. 

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

As previously stated, Carisi is a big ol’ snuggler. He’s also a personal heater when it comes to sleeping at night and it can be a blessing on those chilly New York nights.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Sonny + Cooking = ♥

Sonny + Cleaning= :/ (He’s a bit of a germaphobe, but he doesn’t know how to pick up after him self more than he should.)

You’ve talked about it before, and while you both agree bringing children into the world when their Dad would have to see and hear the things he does at work on a daily basis would be horrible, having a kid or two wouldn’t be horrible. Plus, Dominick is so great with children, especially babies. From his own nieces to Rollins’ two girls; He can quiet a screaming child in seconds and it mesmerizes you each time.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Face to Face. If you were committed enough to be in the relationship for however long, you should have the guts to end whatever it is to the other persons’ face.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Sonny would feel horrible anxiety about proposing to you. He definitely wants to be with you until you’re both worm food, but he’s been on the job long enough to see what happens to marriages when someone works this kind of job. But you’re in it for the long haul, and he just has to accept that.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

The human embodiment of a golden retriever is the perfect way to describe Sonny. Loyal, sweet, patient. But if you betray their trust it’s suuuuper hard to get it back.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

When Carisi hugs you, it’s like being bundled up tight for winter, but not suffocating. His chest is firm and comfortable and no matter the hug type, he always draws circles on your lower back, just to make you smile.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

You were actually the first to say it. It was an over-excited slip, but you still meant it 100%. And unbeknownst to know, Carisi wanted to say it week two of knowing you.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He’s not a jealous of possessive man. The most jealous he’s behaved is whenever he’s in a clingy mood and you’re at work or hanging out with Rollins and Olivia without him. But he’s still very protective of you and watches your back.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Carisi loves to kiss the top of your head or the back of your neck. Nothing weird, just a quick peck. The back-of-your-neck kisses would sometimes release a giggle from you and it would end up with him pinning you down and tickling you ‘til you cried.~

But you love to kiss his cheeks and hands. It’s hard to describe, but wanting to kiss him on the cheek as the same mental effect as a crow wanting to bring a bright, shiny thing back to the nest for it’s mate.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Again, Carisi is an amazing person with children. He’ll make an amazing father one day.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He’s a morning bird. Always up before you with coffee or sometimes food if he had time. But he always made sure- unless it was urgent business- he would wake you up with a sweet his on the cheek or gently rocking you until you came too.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Unless it’s a day off, you rarely get to see him. (ADA or Detective) But on the nights where he gets home early, you both talk about your days and how they went. Dinner, snuggling on the couch, and sometimes you’ll even show him some of your personal projects you’ve been working on. 

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Along side being the prefect cook and great  with kids, he’s a chatter box. He doesn’t just blurt out things weird like, “I used to spank it to Opera 24/7.” On the first day or anything. Just threw things into casual conversation or when you asked. But if anyone said something about a good home cooked meal, he wouldn’t shut up about the 5 different foods his mama used to make for hi.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He works for a sex crimes division. You have to do something pretty horrible to beat that. You’ve had your fair share of fights though. Between his Italian blood and whatever you were arguing about, he could be stuck on an argument for longer than you would be.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Maybe golden retriever wasn’t an accurate description of what he was. More so like.... a wiener-dog-chihuahua mix. Dorky, but brain still smart and ticking. R  Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Yet somehow, he can’t find his damn phone charger.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Sonny knows you can take care of yourself, but being a part of the NYPD, he'a naturally protective. If you need help getting away from a guy Carisi is on you in seconds, flashing his gun and badge.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Carisi spoils you. He's usually the one to cook when you two have time for dinner and there's never not homemade sweets in the house.

But on your anniversaries, Carisi would make you breakfast in bed and the two of you would make sure to take off from work for the day. Lounging and enjoying one another's company until Carisi would send you to the grocery to get dinner supplies and he can have time to decorate the apartment.

Your favorite scented candles, light pink rose petals, soft music. All the beautiful cliche shit that's just so cheesy and sweet enough to make your heart melt.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Your schedules tend to not overlap. So when he gets home or gets ready for work, he will sometimes leave his dirty laundry around the house and his filthy dishes in his sink.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

His hair, yes. Otherwise, Sonny couldn't give two shits what he looked like. And you coupdn't either.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

"Before you I felt like used tea bag. Already fulfilled my purpose with nothing else left. Then you came around and gave me new purpose. Instead of tea, you made me into a bath bomb. Or a soap scrub."

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Not being able to see him in person for a few days at time or before 11:30pm should be something his partner should be able to deal with. And being able to appreciate his friends and family like he does.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Carisi REFUSES to admit, but the backs of his knees are super ticklish. Sometimes when you're cuddling, you "accidentally" brush your feet up against the back of his knee and he practically falls off of the couch spasming. It's the cutest thing.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Carisi would definitely be a sleep talker. He'd also be the person that if you tried to get up without him, he would hold onto you tighter in his sleep. You think he may be awake sometimes when he does that, but Sonny neither denies or admits that to being true.

[writefasttalkevenfaster]

Rafael Barba Masterlist

Last Updated: May 14, 2020 | GIF Credit 

Take My Hand (Series)

Rafael Barba x Reader, Sonny Carisi x Reader series 

Dress to Impress -  

You question Barba’s style 

Snappy One Liners 

Someone’s been voted Bachelor of the Month

Threats (Part 1) (Part 2) - 

A case turns all too personal when you get threatened 

Snipped: Rafael Barba and Aaron Hotchner Soulmate

Everyone is connected to their soulmate by a red string of fate - except you. 

In Sickness - 

Rafael’s sick and it falls on you to take care of him

A Cure for Nerves - 

You get stage fright before a press conference 

Breaking the News - 

Telling Rafael’s mom you’re having his baby 

Just Dandy - 

The infamous blue jogging suit 

Comebacks - 

A morning after an impromptu sleepover 

Holding Steady (w/ Spencer Reid) (2) (3) - 

You fall for two men - and one lets you down 

Love is Blind - 

You and Rafael deal with a tough case 

Sassmaster - 

You give Barba his well-deserved title 

Nightmares - 

Barba comforts you after you have a really bad dream

A Winter’s Gala (Hamilton Part 1) - 

You will never be satisfied 

Threats: What’s New? - 

It’s Barba’s turn to get threatened 

Hurricane (Part 1) (Part 2) - 

College!Rafael comforts you about fitting in at college 

Thicker than Water (Part One) (Part Two) 

You but heads with Rafael as a victim’s advocate

Control (Part One) (Part Two)

Your relationship with Rafael is questioned on the stand  

Trouble

“I was a catholic school boy. We get in a lot of trouble.”

The Line

There was a line - you both chose to cross it 

Deserve

Rafael doesn’t know how to get what he thinks he deserves 

Failure

Comforting Rafael after a really tough case 

Inside your Head

Rafael comforting you after a major exam

Order (w/ Jack McCoy)

Rafael and Jack go head to head in trial 

Chasm

“I shouldn’t be in love with you” 

Repaying the Favor

Rafael takes care of you when you’re sick 

Designer Duds

You get a little jealous when Rafael gets asked out 

So Much More

Opening your college acceptance letters w/ College!Rafael 

Not Ever

You tell Rafael something you’ve been neglecting to tell him

Fun-Sized

Rafael loves how short you are 

Green, Green Dress

“The green green dress / What a pleasure to unwrap”

Witness

Rafael gets a little too involved with a witness

Cheating

Rafael drops by your apartment and overhears an interesting conversation 

Lullaby

“How about we put the gun down and talk about this?” 

Forgive and Forget

You could forgive him, but you couldn’t forget. 

Impossible

“I hope one day you’re as happy as you’re pretending to be.”

Bets

“I beat you at Mario Kart and now you’re banishing me to the couch for the night?” 

Habits (1) (2) 

Some habits were easier to drop than others - but you weren’t. 

The Love Song of R. Barba

Rafael gives love a chance on New Years Eve 

Temperance

“Come over here and make me.”

Nothing More | Nothing Less

You and Rafael have an arrangement - and no one gets hurts, until they do. 

The Papercut

Rafael gets a papercut

Parameters (Part One)

Rafael was your professor, but you’re not his student anymore

1,001 Nights

You’re in an arranged marriage, but you and Rafael keep circling each other 

Inevitable

You and Rafael are something more - right? 

Headcanons/Drabbles

First Impression of Each Other 

Barba dealing with his drunk S/O

Barba dealing with a physical altercation

Barba dealing with his S/O in the hospital

Drunk!Barba w/ his S/O

Barba w/ his short S/O

A kiss...for luck

A kiss...in public

A kiss...in danger

A kiss...to wake up

A kiss...out of anger

A kiss...as an apology

Newlywed Barba

[barbasbodaciousbeard]

If You Love Someone, Let Them Go: Part 7

Summary: Since starting with SVU, Sonny hadn’t kept much terribly close to the chest. The squad knew about his family, growing up on Staten Island, the classes at Fordam. What was hidden was why he didn’t date. Sonny Carisi was also separated from his childhood sweetheart, a separation neither ever took to divorce. They had the same haunts. They’d grown up neighbors. Their paths crossed every few months, and divorce talks would turn into reminiscing would turn into a night spent together, sometimes sex sometimes just talking until the early morning. It always ended with one of them waking up alone however. How will that change when the squad finds out?

Pairings: Sonny Carisi x Original Character

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6

May 2015

“Dominick, where’s the box with my shoes?” Victoria called, stepping over the piles in the apartment they’d consolidated into over the last month and a half. Both their leases were ending, so they decided to go ahead and overlap their leases with a new place for a month. They needed to start fresh, and neither of them wanted to do that in the solitary spaces they’d inhabited without the other. She was nervous now, however, because Olivia had extended Carisi’s invitation to celebrate Noah’s adoption to her as well. It struck her that she was the only SVU spouse, so it might just be the group that spent every day and lots of long nights together and her, someone suddenly thrust into their world. That meant she was exceptionally nervous as she got ready; meeting them on their turf felt more serious than being at Bella’s wedding. Everyone had dispersed within hours there.

“Kitchen counter. Got mixed up for the pots and pans in our room somehow,” he called, and she could tell he was brushing his teeth. She stepped over the not yet assembled shelves she’d gotten, digging each chunky heel from the cardboard box. The wedding heels had been hard on her because the brides wanted stilettos. These she could walk in all day, and she liked reaching Sonny’s shoulder. She went to the bathroom, leaning on the door frame as she watched him style his hair, the tip of his tongue between his front teeth. He caught her eye on the mirror, and his mouth shifted to a grin as he shot her a wink.

“Lookin’ hot, Mrs. Carisi.”

“Why thank you,” she grinned, striking a playful pose. “You look pretty hot yourself.”

“You just like these shirts on me.”

“And your ass in those khakis.” 

She felt triumphant as his cheeks turned pink, grabbing her purse and fixing her lipstick. Soon enough, they were knocking on Olivia’s door, and Sonny pressed a kiss by her ear. 

“You’ll be fine,” he whispered, straightening up as Olivia opened the door.

“Carisi, Victoria, come on in,” she smiled, and Victoria couldn’t help but grin at the sight of the little boy on her hip, putting the gift bag on the counter. 

“It’s so great to see you again. We brought a present for you two. Wine for mama and a toy for Noah.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“It’s a celebration,” she smiled, and Sonny watched fondly as Victoria made faces at Noah, who squealed with delight. 

“Carisi,” Barba nodded, scotch in hand as the detective opened a beer. “Things seem to be good?”

“Yeah. We’re unpacking the new place.”

“I’m sure it’s a delight.”

“Tor’s back home. Of course it is.”

“Can I give you one piece of advice, if you still want to be an attorney?”

“If you’re going to say ‘don’t’ again-”

“I’m feeling sentimental on this, the celebration of Noah’s adoption.”

“Go on then.”

“You’ve expressed an interest in the DA’s office. Prosecution. It’s all the pain from SVU, plus you have to be the bad guy and demand proof. You’ve hated my guts more than a few times, no?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t fuck up again. You’ll need that anchor. I have had two opportunities. One ended up with the friend. The other I drove away trying to keep secrets and seem tough.”

“Liv rat me out?”

“On accident at the wedding. But only because she knew I’d understand. Being able to talk to her will be what keeps you sane during some of those trials.”

“You know, cousin Tony is a real good listener and seemed real into you.”

“He is quite the listener and is quite into me. Now, shut up before you ruin my good mood.”

“There’s the Barba I’m used to.” A roll of the attorney’s eyes told him whatever sentimentality he was going to be at the receiving end of was over, and Sonny felt confident that when he asked to shadow him later, Barba wouldn’t be as put out as he pretended. When he looked back to Olivia, Victoria was chatting happily with a glass of wine in hand. He was excited he still got to make an introduction between Fin and Victoria. It was nice to be able to say This is my wife, Victoria without having to eventually explain they didn’t live together. When he heard a knock, he moved to her side, anticipating his entrance. Once he’d greeted Olivia and Noah, Sonny was pleased with the look on his face. As the detective who’d been there the longest, Sonny found himself caring what Fin thought, and Fin seemed to be forming his opinion.

“Fin! I want ya t’meet my wife, Victoria,” he said happily, arm slung over her shoulder. She extended a hand, which Fin shook gladly.

“It’s nice to meet you! I’ve heard so much!”

“Nice to meet you too. Your husband ain’t shut up about you in weeks. Once he started-”

“He’s pretty sappy?”

“So you been putting up with him a decade?”

“I mean technically my whole life. We grew up next door to each other.”

“I hear I gotta come to a bakery in Brooklyn now.”

“Oh yeah. You got any favorites? Tell me, and I’ll send a preview with Dom next week.”

“I’m pretty traditional.”

“You want brownies, cookies, or cake?”

“Cookies.”

“Deal. Sonny’ll have you a batch Monday.”

“I like her, Carisi,” Fin said, clapping a hand on the younger detective’s shoulder before going to get his drink and greet Barba.

“It’s not fair. You can make cookies and everyone instantly likes you.”

“You seen your goofy grin? You don’t even have to talk to be likable.”

She was rewarded with a kiss to the temple and the aforementioned grin. Soon enough, Amaro and Rollins were there, and Barba poured the pricey champagne he’d brought to toast. Everyone finally got comfortable after that, Sonny settled on the arm of the couch beside Victoria, and Noah was teetering around the coffee table. Victoria was happy to babble to him, and he could see she felt proud when Noah decided to climb onto her lap. God, she was going to be a good mom if they ever stabilized. Couples therapy would start soon. They’d always said when he finished school, and that would actually be happening the next year. Maybe if they were doing well they could have their own baby. All of his sisters were pregnant or already had kids, and fatherhood had been Sonny’s dream.

 As Noah leaned into Victoria, he looked up at Sonny, who was happy to wave down at him. It seemed Lucy liked getting a break to talk to the adults, and he could see the look on Olivia’s face watching Noah. She liked seeing the boy bond with the family she’d made through work. He probably owed a lot of the growth that got him Victoria back to her. The squad was a family with Olivia as their matriarch, and he’d felt safe enough to verbalize his feelings in the first days with her team, when he still had the moustache Victoria had recently informed him really was awful when he tried to defend it. 

“I can take him if you need me to, Victoria. He’s out,” she said from her spot beside Barba. 

“It’s fine. He’s so cuddly.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah. Long as Sonny doesn’t mind getting me a glass of wine.”

“On it, doll,” he grinned, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. Victoria had always loved when their nieces fell asleep on her like this when they were babies. Mia had been the first one, and they took to each other quickly, even if Victoria had been the neighbor kid at the time. They hadn’t broached kids again, and frankly she was afraid of the prospect, but she’d wanted to have kids with Sonny since they got married. Logically, she knew they had to wait until the time was right. Originally, that was just when he finished school, but now they had to play it by ear again. Either way, she was going to savor the smell of baby as Noah slept with his cheek pressed against her shoulder. She wasn’t as good at the play as Sonny was; every child he encountered bonded with him easily, something that had to be helpful in his job. Victoria was good at cuddling and nurturing though. When the first members of the team trickled out, she settled Noah in his mother’s arms and gave her the best hug she could. 

“Thanks for including me. I’m so happy for you, Olivia.”

“Thanks for coming. Noah loves you. Mind being added to the babysitter list?”

“I am honored.” Sonny led her out, hand on the small of her back and a crooked smile plastered across his face. Everyone loved her, like he knew they would. How could someone not? It was near dinner, so without checking, he led the way to a sushi bar near Olivia’s. As he guided her in, she looked up at him with her brow furrowed.

“Dinner date?” He was proud to see her cheeks turn pink.

“I’d like that. You been spoiling me lately.”

“I just been acting like I should. You been pretty damn good to me too.”

“Wanna get saki?”

“Are trying to get me drunk?”

“You only have to go in tomorrow if there’s an emergency.”

“Saki it is.” 

“I was thinking I might plan us a trip in November.”

“Yeah? Could be fun.”

“Any place you wanna go? You’ll be who we’re celebrating.”

“Oh?” he asked, brow lifted as he smiled at her. 

“Dirty thirty.” 

“Dirty thirty? Really Tor?”

“It’ll be fun.”

“I was thinking about New Orleans next year. Could be fun near the holidays instead. Do something bigger for our anniversary.”

“I like the way you think. Plus, July is hot as hell. I’ll tell you the dates when I know.”

“I can’t wait. I’m glad we’ll be together over the holidays.”

“I’m glad we’ll be together on our anniversary. We missed two.”

“One,” he said, puzzled before he winced. “Wait no, you’re right. I was being a bad husband.”

“Nah, you weren’t doing well,” she assured him, hand on his thigh. 

“Ninth, we’re staying here. Tenth, we’re going big.”

“Deal. I love you, Tor.”

“And I love you.”

“You were real good with Noah.”

“He’s such a cuddly boy.”

“I told Lieu I gotta hang out with him sometimes. The girl gene runs real strong with the Carisis. Four nieces, no nephews? And then non Carisi niece on her way from Rollins.”

“Only two have been born. Mom thought I was going to be a boy.”

“True. Fingers crossed. Or maybe we’ll have a boy.”

“Dom-”

“I ain’t saying tomorrow. I’m just saying therapy is going good, we’re doing good, couples therapy is soon, and I bet we have a kid in before I’m forty.” She laughed, kissing him softly. “I think it’ll be sooner than that. Maybe in like three?”

“Even better. I can’t wait to feel our baby kick one day. Know they’re there. It’ll happen when we’re ready. Not a minute sooner. God’s got a plan.” 

“We just gotta be careful, okay? I want to try to not get pregnant for a while.”

“I know, Tor.”

“Don’t get testy. I wanna make sure we’re ready.”

“I know. Just- seeing you with Noah and Jessie? Set off the ‘I want kids’ bell stronger than last time.”

“Me too. Every time I see you hold the kids.”

“We gotta baby sit more to tide me over.”

“I got a feeling I’ll be getting calls from Liv. You make that clear to Amanda. Then soon enough? Gina’s almost due. Then Bella.”

“True,” he smiled softly. “If we wait they get to be the only Carisi baby that year. Even more attention.”

“You’ll spoil them rotten.”

“That’s my job.”

“We get the day tomorrow, unless somethin’ happens.”

“We do. I gotta go to the bakery for a couple hours at least to help train the newest hire. Margy picked good, but they’re taking weekends for me.”

“I’m really excited about that. I think it’ll be good now that it’s an option.”

“Me too. We both get to be in case of emergency for the most part.”

“Yeah. Liv will rotate all of us taking a Saturday.”

“I guess I’ll just have to find somebody’s baby to play with,” she teased, poking his side and he grinned. 

“Y’know, I think we ought to start practicin’ when we go home, doll.”

“Read my mind, Sonny.”

Tag List: @cycat4077​ @fear-less-write-more​

[qvid-pro-qvo]

cold, your toes against my knee (warm, your hand in mine)

mike dodds x gender neutral reader. reader is an svu detective, and mike dodds is a lieutenant at homicide.

word count: 2867

rating: mature, because of a distinct winter chill (this is a fic that attempts to tackle a mere part of the struggle following a traumatic event. mike therefore experiences symptoms of ptsd/post-intensive care syndrome. tw: mentions of gun violence, scars, blood, hospital scenes, flashbacks). 

-

you meet mike dodds on a beautiful fall day, some kind of conference that you get pulled along to with lieutenant benson. when she sees him across the way, her voice calls out to him, and he responds with an eager smile, a fervent shake of her hand in place of a hug. professional settings and all that.

“mike dodds, this is one of our newest transfers,” benson says, and her voice is warm, gesturing to you. he turns to face you, and you have to blink when he smiles full-force at you, taken aback by the earnest way it hits you. but you recover.

“lieutenant dodds,” you say with a grin, offering your hand. “i’ve heard a lot about you.”

“only the bad stuff, i’m sure,” he offers, and your chuckle is light, shaking your head.

“well, my partner is sonny carisi,” you return, and he’s able to laugh in return.

-

november starts to fade, and mike feels the aches. they’ll always be there, because physical therapy can’t fix everything, and they’ll linger as long as he wakes up afraid of the snow outside. he trembles as he moves through his apartment, not thinking about the sleep he’ll inevitably sink into. it’s voluntary this one, and the bed isn’t in a damn hospital with ten blankets piled up –

never mind.

the gas bill is outrageous. he turns the heat up another degree. just until he leaves the house.  

“sweetheart,” you call out, and when he turns it’s with a small smile. your arms reach to wrap around him from behind, and while your head can’t rest on his shoulder, you let your face press into it. he can feel your kiss even through the layers.

“just for a few minutes,” he starts, feeling self-conscious, and your smile is evident in the sound of your voice.

“hey, you’re okay,” you tell him, and every time you say it, it seems a little truer. did you put on a thermal this morning?”

at first, he’s certain he did. and then his fingers lift to his neck, where his shirt collar is unbuttoned. no tie yet, and he’s able to feel bare skin. he turns to face you, so you can see where his collarbone is, and with a little chuckle you push to kiss the spot before cupping his cheek with your hand.

“while i do enjoy the little look… you want the white one or the gray one?"

he thinks on it, the whole time focusing in on the way you smile.

“gray. there’s no snow in the forecast.”

with a nod you move to the dryer, and he can hear the machine is running. in that moment, his love for you hits hard, and before he can think he’s following you to the laundry space, insisting on a few more kisses before he puts the warmed shirt on.

-

“good to see you again, detective.” he reaches for your hand to shake it, polite. a slight tremble to his fingers. his bare fingers.

“where are your gloves?” is your response.

at first, he just blinks, then pulls his hand back. shoves it into his coat pocket. he can only offer a shrug before you’re patting down your own coat, searching the pockets for something.

when you uncover them, they’re deep within the confines of your outerwear. three inside pockets have already been searched when you yank them to the surface, waving them a bit to shake the lint off before offering them over. the lieutenant blinks again, something like uncertainty playing on his lips as he glances at the proffered pair.

“well, come on, then,” you say, holding them up again, pushing them towards the hand that had offered to shake in the first place.

“i don’t want to take your spares,” he starts, and you have to scoff.

“you’re not taking them, i’m giving them,” you laugh out, shaking your head. “i always have a pair of extra gloves. i’m always cold and they’re good to have. i’ve got three more pairs just like it at home, sized up for comfort, and you could take every one of them if it means your hands don’t turn blue. take ‘em. trust me, lieu, take ‘em.”

he’s boggled, you can tell. you don’t know why, and it’s for long enough that you roll your eyes, and without a thought push forward, grab his wrist with your hand. it’s how you end up curling his fingers down over the offering.

“here. the day is still young, and we can save your fingers if we work fast.”

and they’re great gloves. he kind of sings their praises the rest of the day, and you just chuckle at his words before helping him adjust them on his hands. you’re glad you size up, because his hands are bigger than yours, and they fit snug, tight. warm.

he keeps them. you insist on it.

-

he heaves out a shudder, and his blankets are pulled down even tighter over his shoulders. he’s in three layers, with a down comforter, and it’s still not enough to push the feeling back.

it settles over him, like fog. one moment, he’s waking up for work, and the next, he’s curling in on himself. one hand pushing against the scar like it’s the off button.

he’s so… he’s so cold. he’s lost so much blood, he can’t move, he can’t think, and he’s so goddamn cold. all he can see is bright white, all he can hear is steady beeping, and all he can think about is the way that he can’t get warm. he can’t get warm. they chill him on purpose and then bring him back up to room temp, and he feels like he’s in a fucking freezer.

another sharp press, one that makes him hiss against the pull of scar tissue. it pushes the bright white away, brings him back to the present. his knees are up to his chest, and the insistent buzz of his phone against the nightstand tries its best to help him emerge.

“mike?” you’re coming back from the bathroom when you see him, curled up, and immediately your hands are on him. you’re grabbing the second blanket from the foot of the bed, the weighted one with the fleece cover, and with a little grunt you’re pulling it over before settling in beside him. “mike, sweetheart, i’m here.”

your hands go to work. rubbing up and down the bare skin you can see, moving through the layers to use friction and build up some heat.

the phone stops buzzing. and you’re curled alongside him, pressing kisses to his hair. your hand reaches for his and pulls his fingers up so you can kiss the knuckles.

“five minutes,” you say gently.

he nods, eyes squeezing shut as you wrap around him.

“i’m here. let’s get you warm.”

-

“i’m always cold, too,” dodds admits one day, while the two of you are hunched over a case file. special victims and homicide usually don’t coordinate this often, but homicides are up this month and liv insisted on taking on of the cases that would’ve fallen across his desk. he’d come over personally to tell her what’d been found, what’d been checked out what hadn’t. had paired the two of you up for the transition while she handled some meeting at one police plaza.  

“hmm?” your finger is moving across one of the documents, your eyes following it before you glance up at him. he’s standing up straight now, and you watch as he shoves his hands into his pockets, elbows flapping a little as he shifts.

“just. you mentioned, last time i saw you. that you’re always cold,” he says, and he doesn’t quite stumble over his words. he’s trained too well for that. but you hear the hitch at the top of the statement, and watch as he doesn’t quiet meet your eyes, glancing down at the case file again. “it gets bad for me in the winter. always have a chill.”

suddenly realization hits you, and you smile at him, standing up straight again, closing the case file and picking it up to hold against your chest. “i just have poor circulation,” you say, shrugging. “i’ve macgyvered a lot of tricks to keep me sane when winter comes around.”

and it makes him chuckle, thankfully. his hand lifts to his head, moves through his hair, and you’re watching the movement without thinking about it. how it makes his short brown locks flop forward a little over his forehead. now you have to duck your head, avoid his gaze, and try not to think about how good he looks with that blue dress shirt.

“willing to share some of your tricks with homicide? in the spirit of interdepartmental cooperation.”

and that makes you snort.

“maybe not with homicide,” you laugh. “but with you, lieutenant dodds, no question.”

“mike,” he returns immediately, and it makes your tongue feel a little thick in your mouth.

“r-right. mike.”

-

you’re undercover, and it’s… the worst. third night in a row. not a text to be seen, a call to be heard from. he’s worried, and he’s chilled, and the apartment is surely roasting as he tries to fight the air from outside that insists on leaking in.

it’s been hard to sleep. hard to close his eyes without thinking about what could go wrong. he knows the risks of the job, better than almost anyone, but it feels like he’s walking on eggshells the next few days, trying to direct his squad while your safety sits in the back of his mind.

and liv is with you. that makes him feel better, but makes the tightness in his chest amplify. the thought of losing you both in one fell swoop makes his eyes cross. but he can’t linger on it, he can’t, and by the fifth day he’s taken to stealing your fuzzy socks for a third layer on his feet.

then he gets a text, that fifth night. it’s from sonny, an update, and he’s grateful until he reads the words “concussion” and “bellevue.” 

outside the wind is howling. he can feel the tremors start before he’s even begun to move. but he grits his teeth, not letting the outside air see his trepidation. mike starts moving, starts layering up, and he’s willing to face any winter night if it means that he’ll be there for you.

when he arrives, and you see him, there’s visible relief on your features. you look haunted, exhausted, like you’ve just been undercover for the past week and haven’t eaten since you started. it makes mike’s anger bubble up, but he’s stopped by the way you reach for him.

“i’m here,” he tells you, and you chuckle, burying your face into the front of his coat. his arms wrap around you easily, pulling you tight against him. “i’ve got you.”

“you’re so warm,” you groan out, and his chuckle chokes up, his nose pressing into your hair as you grip him. 

-

you start dating in the late moments of spring, after a couple months of dancing around it. a winter of trading secrets to keep hands and feet from turning blue turns into a wonderful friendship, and with that friendship feelings soon blossom.

and after all, it’s easy to fall in love with him. anyone could, you’re certain, looking at him from a distance. you take a glance at mike dodds and you see what everyone does. the brave cop, injured in the line of duty. the incredible lieutenant, who runs homicide with ease. the good man, who smiles at everyone he can, fighting for what’s right. the son of the chief, making his own path.

and then you see a little bit more, the stuff under the surface.

you see the way that he is never shy of curling up close, his touch almost always a full-body one. the nights get hot and stifling, but he’s always under the blankets. you see the way he picks and chooses socks with intense concentration, never afraid to grab two pairs instead of one. you watch the summer months pass and fall come even closer, and that space between his eyebrows furrows more and more.

and then there’s the conversation. as october hits, and you can see your own breath in the mornings, mike asks to talk to you.

he seems shaky. you can’t tell what it is that has him trembling, but your hand reaches out for his on instinct, pulling both of his hands into yours to warm them up.

and that gesture seems to be what pushes him to speak at all.

“a couple of years ago i got hurt on the job,” he starts, and you watch, intently. your own brow furrows as he describes waking up that first night in the hospital, dad and liv and squad around him, and feeling nothing but the chill.

“i couldn’t escape it. i couldn’t do anything. and when my body got worse before it got better, i was trapped.”

part of it was the fever, he tells you. there were moments he was delirious, an infection after the surgery almost wrecking his body. part of it was the blood loss, his body having to fight to rebuild what had gone missing from the bullet, from the operating room. part of it was the room itself, a faulty thermostat sending the whole hall into the sixties.

“nothing seemed to help. but… i managed to recover,” he admitted lowly. his voice is bitter, and you find yourself pulling his fingers to your lips, kissing his palm. because in that moment you’re hit with how close you came to losing him before you ever found him.

he tells you how he doesn’t feel it all the time. how spring, summer, and even the start of fall is okay. and then the temperatures start dropping, the sun starts to fade, and in winter he locks up. the cold sinks into his skin, and.

“all i can think about is that damn room. i go to therapy, i talk through what i can. my therapist tells me this is a hump, a mental block, but. i don’t know if it’ll ever end. if the cold will ever stop sending me into a... spiral.”

he’s frustrated. his hand is gripping yours back tight, and before you can stop yourself you’re sliding out of your side of the dining room table and slipping into his lap. you pull him against you, running your fingers through soft brown hair. you don’t let go of his hand, you can’t, and you feel his shoulders shake as he fights back the tears, face pressed into your chest.

and you… you hold each other. for a little while.

the minutes pass by. you’re uncertain what to do, besides assure him that you’ll never let him go. those promises are whispered into his hair, his ear, against his lips as you kiss him.

“i’m proud of you” is said a lot. you hope he hears it, believes it. because in that moment, you’ve never been prouder of this man you’re so lucky to call yours, a man fighting a battle he’s so scared of losing, a man who faces months on end with his chin held high. he’s unsure if it’ll ever come to an end, but you know that one day, it could. you’re gonna see that day, you’re certain of it. you tell him that, too.

and when the silence stretches on, the two of you in each other’s arms – when he comes back to himself, you tilt his chin so he can look up at you, holding his jaw with a small smile.

“so. what i’m hearing is that we’re gonna need a fireplace when we move in together.”

it shocks a laugh out of him. “what?”

“well, if we’re gonna stay warm, central heating and a fireplace will help do the trick. i’m not going anywhere, mike dodds, so you better start house hunting now.” you have a grin on your face, big and bright and bold, and when he looks up at you again he’s stunned into chuckles. leaning forward to press a kiss over your heart as he shakes his head.

-

winter comes. steadily. gently. like the hush falling over the crowd. and mike dodds hates every second of it.

he can feel it creeping up his spine – the inevitable chill that lingers, stretches its fingers over his shoulders and grabs him. october is gone, november is here, and he lets out a shaky gasp each time a breeze hits him wrong.

he wants to yell out. holds the edge of his desk in a white-knuckled grip. but he doesn’t. he just lifts his chin. he pushes on, he handles it.

he is michael dodds, isn’t he? the son of the chief, the brave soldier. and yet, he fears the turn of the season.

the days keep coming. one after the other. nights get longer, get unending, get colder.  

but this winter something is different. this winter he has you. and the icy grip that the season has starts to fade with time. with time, with time, with time. with therapy, with talking, with time, with time.

with you, your hand in his, and time.

[beermanoftana]

eve | masterlist 🥰

🥰 requests closed 🥰 see who i write for

😶 = gender neutral | 💐 = female | 🌸  = oc

❤️ = blurs/drabbles | 💞 = coming soon | 💕 = fanfiction | ❣️ = one-shot | 💘 = original fiction | 💟 = series

🤗  = g | 🤔  = pg - 13 | 🤫  = r - 18

CELEBRITIES/INFLUENCERS

evans, chris

a phone pal // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤗

a fair miracle // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤫

go out with me // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤫

hardy, ben

mission: failed // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤗

i’ll always be here // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤔

never can say goodbye // ONE | ❣️ 💐🤗

holland, tom

a selection of princesses // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤗

toss & turn // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤔

first kisses never die // ONE |   ❣️ 💐 🤗

turn back time // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤗

all about stanley // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤗

come fly with me // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤗

we’re not kidding around // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤗 

holland, tom & stan, sebastian

perspectives // ONE ; TWO ; THREE |  💟 💐 🤗

hood, callum 

mine & mine alone // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤗

moseley, william

home // ONE | ❣️ 💐 🤔

fairytales & happily ever afters // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤗

stan, sebastian

tired // ONE |  ❤️ 💐 🤗

aftermaths // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤔

smol & small // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤔

little lady bird // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤗

help me, i’m melting // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤔

memories & insecurities // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤔

sneak a peek // ONE |  ❣️ 💐 🤫

FICTION

(500) days of summer

hansen, tom

(infinity) days of snow // ONE  ; TWO |  💟 🌸 🤔

criminal minds

reid, spencer

i don’t like fishes but i do like you // ONE |  ❤️ 😶 🤗

simmons, matt

pastry goods // ONE | ❣️💐 🤗

mashed potatoes // ONE  | ❣️💐 🤔

magical music // ONE  | ❣️💐 🤗

the faces of you // ONE  | ❣️💐 🤗

a long and hard day // ONE  | ❣️💐 🤫

take me home // ONE  | ❣️💐 🤗

i’m literally going to die // ONE  | ❣️ 💐 🤗

i tried // ONE  | ❣️💐 🤔

can we talk // ONE  | ❣️💐 🤔

i did // ONE  | ❣️💐 🤔

missing the mistletoe // ONE | ❣️💐 🤗

harry potter

weasley, fred

what a sweetheart // ONE | ❤️ 😶 🤗

 wood, oliver

of quidditch & basketball // ONE |  ❤️ 😶 🤗

inception

arthur x ariadne

hey i just met you // ONE |  ❤️💕🤗

twenty steps // ONE ; TWO ; THREE ; FOUR ; FIVE ; SIX ; SEVEN ; EIGHT ; NINE ; TEN ; ELEVEN ; TWELVE ; THIRTEEN ; FOURTEEN ; FIFTEEN ; SIXTEEN ; SEVENTEEN ; EIGHTEEN ; NINETEEN ; TWENTY | 💕💟 🤫

daddy insecurities // ONE | 💕❣️🤔

the spreading virus // ONE | 💕❣️🤗

law & order: special victims unit

carisi, sonny jr.

patience is a virtue // ONE | ❣️💐 🤫

they wouldn’t know // ONE | ❣️💐 🤗

two birds, one stone // ONE | ❣️💐 🤗

fluttering // ONE | ❣️💐 🤗

yourself  // ONE | ❣️💐 🤗

vulnerable // ONE | ❣️ 💐 🤗

marvel cinematic universe

parker, peter

no more kisses // ONE  | ❣️💐 🤗

gee, thanks, karen // ONE  | ❣️💐 🤗

stark, tony 

falling // ONE | ❣️💐 🤗

the chronicles of narnia

caspian x

tomorrow // - ONE  | ❣️💐 🤗

a soldier of my heart // ONE  |  ❣️💐 🤗

pevensie, peter

wandering souls // ONE |  💟 💐 🤔

on a walk // ONE | ❣️💕🌸 🤗

breakfast // ONE | ❣️💕🌸 🤗

old endings, new beginnings // ONE ; TWO ; THREE ; FOUR  ; FIVE ; SIX ; SEVEN ; EIGHT ; NINE ; TEN |  💟💕🌸 🤔

obviously, break the rules // ONE |  💟💕🌸 🤗

original fiction

about pepper // ONE |  ❣️💘🌸 🤗

friends with benefits // ONE |  ❣️💘🌸 🤗

understanding // ONE |  ❣️💘🌸 🤗

marriage // ONE |  ❣️💘🌸 🤗

starting anew // ONE |  ❣️ 💘🌸 🤗

twilight

black, jacob

lucky number // ONE |  ❣️💐 🤗

coming soon 

100 themes |  💞 

alphabet soup |  💞 

meet cute |  💞 

[daddydoddsjr]

NSFW Alphabet Sonny Carisi

( gif found on pinterest, i do not take the credit )

this is my first written fanfic like thing on here woah. and it’s about sonny carisi. shocker huh? i would die for him

requested : Sonny Carisi nsfw alphabet?

No gender implied for you. Works for male or female. Use your imagination y’all.

~

A : Aftercare

He’ll get you a warm wash cloth and clean you up, and usually joins you in the shower afterwards.

B : Body Part

His favourite part of you is your ass and your thighs. He likes his hands and the way he can please you with them.

C : Cum

Cumming on your face is probably his favourite thing to do.

D : Dirty Secret

If you call him Dominick, he loses his mind.

E : Experience

He’s had a string of lovers, so he knows how to pleasure you.

F : Favourite Position

He loves it when you ride him.

G : Goofy

He makes jokes sometimes while you’re going at it, just to get even a chuckle from you.

H : Hair

He keeps it clean and well trimmed. It only gets messy when he’s stuck in cases and doesn’t have the time.

I : Intimacy

He’s appreciative of every time you guys have sex, and he makes sure it’s always special.

J : Jack Off

He doesn’t jack off while he’s dating anyone. While he’s single, he does it often.

K : Kink

He likes bondage. More specifically, he likes to be the one tied up, or handcuffed.

He’s got a pair of black fuzzy handcuffs in his bedside table he bought when he started to get serious with you.

L : Location

He doesn’t really like to do it anyplace except the bedroom.

M : Motivation

Dirty talk and tease him and he’ll be ready in no time.

N : No

He absolutely will not do anything without your consent first. He has to hear you say yes.

O : Oral

He loves getting blowjobs but he also loves having his head between your legs.

P : Pace

You guys will go however fast or slow you want. He’s down for any pace at any time.

Q : Quickie

Sometimes his work load is too much and all you’ll have time for is a quick fuck. It happens only once in a while.

R : Risk

He’s not much of a risk taker anymore.

S : Stamina

He can last 10-20 minutes a round.

T : Toys

He’ll let you use toys on him if you want to, and he’ll use anything you want on you.

U : Unfair

He’ll tease you in public sometimes, running his hands up your thighs or kissing the side of your neck under your ear.

V : Volume

He moans. A lot.

W : Wild Card

( first time you had sex )

He invited you into his apartment after your forth date, and you accepted. You had a few drinks with him and eventually you kissed him, which lead to a late night in the bedroom.

X : X-Ray

He’s long but not all that thick.

Y : Yearning

He wants it constantly, but doesn’t express it every the time.

Z : Zzz

He falls asleep in an instant once you guys are cleaned up.