#song is you are going to hate this by the frights | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

phoenixeclipse-lmkau · 2 months ago

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so another crumb, might not be accurate to your idea of reader, so bear with me

imagine a reader, who likes to sing, but HATES doing it in front of people. there is no sign of it, no singing, no humming, nothing around people. she will only sing if she thinks she is alone.

and one of the days spirit goes off to get to find food, reader hums a lil tune, because its only her and the cubs around, and animals aren't people.

this develops into a habit whenever the cubs are alone with reader until one day, after many false starts, reader starts to sing. the cubs love it, a song/secret just for them that spirit doesn't get to see. perhaps reader will even sing them to sleep if they're lucky.

but, after the curse breaks, well.

they're people not cubs now.

and reader knows about shapeshifting, so now every animal might be a person in disguise.

and reader hates singing in front of people.

maybe it was because of a bad experience, perhaps she didn't want to make noise and take up space, maybe its a bad case of stage fright, maybe its just some sort of instinct, but whatever it is, reader wont budge.

no matter how much they beg, plead or threaten, reader wont sing for them. reader wont even sing when left alone in the forests of flower fruit mountain. they know of macaque after all, and his ears.

but every so often, when the mountain is quiet in the dead of the night, and not a single soul can be heard, fragments of a quiet humming voice can be heard. it never goes on for too long, but it makes the listener wonder what it would sound like.

its the only thing the monkey duo gets to listen to, after turning back. while they would never want to go back, they do miss those fragile moments sometimes.

macaque is a bit more lucky in this regard. not even the slightest sound will escape him, but reader explicitly avoids singing because of him. only fragments will remain

i hope this crumb is as good as the last?

Yes yes yes!! Let me have it!! I love this!! After having a long day this is just what I needed!

Omg! Yes, actually I love the idea of Reader liking to sing but is too afraid to share her singing with anyone else.

Wukong and Macaque knowing that they are the only ones to hear it? Oh now, everyone else better pray they don't hear her sing. They are possessive and depending on who hears it other than them? May very well end up dead.

Now, not cubs or a few specific people (such as Spirit. She's safe from most of their wrath because of her relation to Reader)

They would be desperate to get her to sing again. They would do anything... well almost anything.

___

"Freedom," you said calmly, your eyes shifting to the side.

"What?" Wukong was the first to speak his eyes widening at the word.

He had to let go of your arms, which he had been gently holding. He didn't want to hurt you, but the rage that swelled in his chest almost made him hurt your arms.

"I said... I'll sing if you give me my freedom," you were quiet, your voice timid as you made your 'demand.'

"Darling you do have freedom. You can travel anywhere on Flower Fruit Mountain that you want,” Macaque spoke up as he brushed your hair out of your face.

You looked at him, his face held a warm and soft smile. With a frown you shook your head. “Freedom, I want to go home.”

As soon as you said the word home both of the monkey demons in front of you growled harshly. You immediately took a step back only to be pulled back towards them as they held you like you were about to disappear. A shiver ran down your spine as you looked at them with fear.

“We are not letting you go, ever.”

Just like that their desperation for the simpler times when you would sing to them in private or sing them to sleep caused an argument. They didn’t want to let you go, they would never let you go. No matter how much you wanted your freedom. To them you had freedom to travel around the island, safe where the monkey demons of the mountain would watch over you.

“Leave me alone,” You muttered looking downcast.

“But-,” Wukong started before storming out of the room.

Macaque looked at you sadly before nodding and following, “We’ll be here if you need anything.”

At least you could depend on that. If you wanted privacy they’d leave you alone. If you wanted food, they’d give you anything. They spared no expense to get you anything you wanted, except for your freedom. Looking down you wiped a tear away from your eyes. This was one of the few times that you’d completely closed them out.

It was over an hour later before you managed to force yourself to leave the room. You slowly opened the dark, oak wood door way that was carved with delicate roses, something that Wukong thought you would like. You couldn’t help the weak smile at that, before pushing the thought away. These monkey demons your Peaches and Plums were the ones who kidnapped you and forced you to live on their island. But they were kind to you, they gave you everything you could ask for except for your freedom.

“Your Majesty,” A sweet and small voice spoke up, one of the island cubs.

“Oh… hello there sweety,” You couldn’t help the smile at the small and very cute cub. A dark brown cub with blue eyes, and wore a pink hanfu.

“The Monkey King and His Warrior would like you to eat with them. If that would be alright, they said they’ll send your food to your room if not,” The cub said smiling, blissfully unaware of the reasons behind this encounter.

Your heart squeezed at the thought. Even while they constantly craved for your attention, for your touch they would keep their distance until you came to them or called out to them. You smiled, kneeling down to pick up the cub who chirped happily as you did so. Even though many of the monkey demons seemed to hate you when you first arrived they had all calmed down when not only their Kings adored you but the four generals had also watched over you. You were now adored by the island and none of them wanted you to leave.

“I’ll attend,” You smiled, knowing that the cub would likely not like it if you rejected the invitation. No doubt she was sent because the two Kings knew of your ever bleeding heart.

As much as you wanted to not talk to them just for the foul play as you thought it was, you couldn’t help but cuddle the small cub in your arms. You received happy chirps and chitters from it before you let her go to run off to tell the kings. They would meet you before you even made it to the dining hall within the stone palace. With a sigh you walked on through the large stone palace. Your hanfu (a gift from the monkey demons) slightly dragging on the floor behind you. A gorgeous gown made of red silk with golden thread embroidered throughout the fabric in rose patterns.

“Darling,” Macaque muttered as he stepped out of your shadow.

You barely glanced at him as he wrapped a hand around your waist and gave you a soft kiss on the cheek. He nuzzled his cheek against yours afterwards which you didn’t fight. As much as you hated to admit it you didn’t mind the kisses and nuzzles that the two monkey king’s gave you. Even if they still terrified you with their nature at times.

“Macaque,” You responded calmly.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked with a small smile, his tail wrapping around your waist protectively too. He acted as though you may disappear but there wasn’t much pressure that would make it painful.

You didn’t get the chance to respond when Wukong suddenly came around the corner sitting atop his golden colored cloud. “Darling!~ You’re feeling better!”

You were pulled into a hug by the monkey king, a kiss on the opposite cheek that Macaque kissed. They loved showering you with affection, especially after you three got into an argument. They wouldn’t change. At least not now.

So this ended up sadder than I planned… oops. But you gave me the angst to work with, can I blame you anon? Nah, I’m the one who wrote this part. Anyways thank you for the noms!! I really do love reading these. Sorry for slow replies but I do love writing these extra little scenes.

Now that I look at it, it kinda went off topic of the singing… Eh oh well. I’d like opinions if possible! Plus kudos to this anon I loved reading this!! I love these crumbs, the tasty noms!!

Be careful, I might start calling you Crumb or Cookie Anon hehe~

#dead dove do not eat #sun wukong x macaque #yandere sun wukong #yandere macaque #macaque x reader #sun wukong x reader #sun wukong x macaque x reader #shadowpeach x female reader #shadowpeach x reader #cursed warlords Au #cursed warlords lmk au

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icanseethefuture333 · 1 year ago

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Singer: persona chart 🎤

Do you want to be a singer? Here's what your Singer persona chart means 🖤! Go to astro.com and click on the extended chart option. Scroll to the bottom and type in 10698 to find the Singer asteroid. Then select which chart type and pick "persona chart".

The Singer asteroid is your overall voice and sound as an artist.

The ascendant is your public image as a singer or your musical concept. What people will know you for.

Your sun sign is your identity as a singer.

The moon is how you express your feelings and emotions while singing.

Mercury is the thought process of your song writing and what your lyrics are about. It also is how you communicate to people in interviews, radio stations, or talk to other celebrities.

Mars is how active you are physically while performing and your stamina. As well as your temperant when faced with conflict or your passion for singing.

Venus is your beauty and style. What makes you stand out visually or how your music videos could look like. It could also represent what record label you sign a contract with and what kind of people you work beside.

Jupiter is where you can find your success as a singer and what would help you attract the most abundance. What would make you famous.

Saturn is what humbles you as a singer and what scandals/rumors you could possibly get involved in.

Uranus is your connection to the world and how you interact with your fanbase. Also how to promote your music with technology.

Neptune is what people don't see behind the scenes or what could happen to you that others might not know about.

Chiron is the wounds and hardships of being a singer.

North node is your life path as a singer and what destiny you have to fulfill. The longevity of your career as a singer.

Midheaven is your social status and professionalism as a singer.

Use the degree theory to see what energy is associated with your signs/planets. Here are some indications of fame degrees in a chart.

Aries singers are expressive with their identity. They are often fresh on the scene and have a lot to prove to the world. Their attitude can be described as spunky and charming. They sing from their head and chest more than their diaphragm, could have trouble projecting their voice properly. These singers are competitive or could make their debut performance in a singing competition.

Taurus singers are more reserved and sensual. Their voices can sound velvety and seductive. Their best songs are recorded at the privacy of their home. They could sing in intimate places like singing in a jazz bar or a coffee shops, something like the Tiny Desk series. They could perform in green, earthy sceneries. Their music makes people feel soothed and comfortable.

Gemini singers have a duality and are able to switch up their concepts. Their voices could have multiple layers or tones to them. They could have a high pitched voice or low pitched voice. For example, when some people talk their voice is deep but when they sing its really high and vice versa. Gemini singers perform at radio stations or live on social media.

Cancer singers carry a lot of emotion in their voice. It could almost sound like they're crying or choking up. They are best at conveying their feelings through a song. Their notes have a lot of resonance. They are shy and don't like being put on the spot when singing. These singers have terrible stage fright. They are the least likely to perform in front of other people. They could like to sing at the beach.

Leo singers are bold and charismatic. They like to be very theatrical on stage and enjoy giving a great performance. Their voices are loud on it's own and they could even perform without a microphone if asked to. They are perfectionists and they hate when things get messed up on stage. Their image is important to them. Beyoncé has a Leo ascendant in her singer persona chart and she's known for her diva presence ("Somebody's gettin' fired!"). Leo singers perform in big stadiums, theaters, or musical plays. They could also be actresses.

Virgo singers could get criticized a lot on social media. Some people enjoy their voices, others do not. They can be hard on themselves and practice until they can't sing anymore. Their voices could sound very thin, but they have great enunciation skills. They could experience a cold often or they have to take care of their throat more than the other Singer signs. Singer songwriters are most likely to be Virgos. They could perform in hospitals or at senior citizens centers.

Libra singers are flirtatious and popular for their beauty. Their voices are attractice and have a great singing technique. People could view them as the total package. Libra singers could have to heavily rely on endorsements and commercials than their music. They have to balance music with work. They could have a fanbase that's mostly men or women depending on their gender/sexuality. Their music mostly consist around romantic relationships and they could perform at churches, weddings, or venues.

Scorpio singers are like sirens. Their voice echoes through a room and have a hypnotic effect on people. It's hauntingly beautiful. Their music could have much darker elements or Scorpio singers could make music that expresses their grief or new chapters in their life. People who listen to Scorpio singers could play their music when they are experiencing a transformation in life. Perhaps during a break up or the death of a loved one. Scorpio singers are most likely the ones to perform at a funeral.

Sagittarius singers are free spirited and their music is very optimistic. Their music makes people have a different perspective on life and appreciate the little things in life. They are very wise. They could like to do voice breaks while singing. Sagittarius could perform in public areas and where tourists visit to do busking. They are very active on stage and move around a lot.

Capricorn singers are serious and elegant. They could sing on very deep topics. Their music could make people question themselves and if they are learning from the lessons the universe is trying to teach them. They could also talk about money and success in their music. They use a lot of vibrato and have husky voices. They perform in class or auditions, anywhere they can show off their skills.

Aquarius singers are nonchalant and chill. They like to be "cool" and do something different than the other mainstream artists are doing. Their voices could have a unique tone or sound nasally. Robotic or alien-like. Their music is very avant garde or experimental. People could want to gatekeep their music. They could perform online by posting covers on tiktok/youtube or do virtual tours.

Pisces singers have ethereal or angelic voices. They are gentle and soft. Their music sounds dreamy and ambient. They could perform in auditoriums or when it's raining. People could feel their music has caused them to have a spiritual awakening or are being healed as they listen to their music.

1st house stellium in the persona chart could mean that you get discovered quite fast for your singing or you could look like an idol.

2nd house stellium in the persona chart means you could make a lot of money from singing professionally. You could receive a lot of offers that will give you financial security in the music industry. If there is negative aspects this could mean someone could rip them off or steal a lot of money from them.

3rd house stellium in the persona chart is people could make someone be well known in their hometown for being a singer or be the talk/star of the town. They could make a lot of connections in the music industry. Their family member could work with them or helped them get started in their career.

4th house stellium in the persona chart people have their parents, specifically moms, as their managers. They could come from a family of musicians as well. These singers are mostly likely to be nepo babies. They could have possibly chaotic relationships with their families if negatively aspected.

5th house stellium in the persona chart people could be popular with kids or will be remembered as their childhood idol. They are well known for being creative and artistic. If negatively aspected, parents could not want their children listening to their music, they could see them as a bad influence.

6th house stellium in the persona chart means that being a singer would become a daily routine for you. You could have to practice frequently or be in the studio a lot to record. It could impact your health if you are overworked.

7th house stellium in the persona chart could mean the legal matters of your contract. What partnerships you make as a singer and possibly dating/marrying someone in the music industry. If negatively aspected, this means that your company is unfair or your partner will betray you somehow.

8th house stellium in the persona chart could mean your career as a singer will have a lot of transformations and changes. Being a musician for you could mean there will be a lack of stability emotionally. A lot of ups and downs. It could also mean you will be remembered for your legacy when you die. If negatively aspected, these people could get involved with scandals or meet people from cults.

9th house stellium in the persona chart people could be more popular overseas than in their own home country. They could travel to a different country to be a singer or they will travel a lot to perform. Their world tours will be the most successful. If negatively aspected, these people could get banned from entering certain countries.

10th house stellium in the persona chart people will have long term success in their musical career. Their fathers could be their managers or their fathers were famous musicians. If negatively aspected, they could have a strict company or contract that forces them to continue to be a singer even if they wanted to quit.

11th house stellium in the persona chart people could of had their friends push them to be a singer or they work with their friends. Singers with a 11th house stellium most likely are in bands or groups. They are popular on social media. If negatively aspected they could get kicked out of bands/groups or get a lot of hate on the internet.

12th house stellium in the persona chart are meant to fulfill their life purpose as a singer. They are supposed to help heal the world and transcend the energetic collective's minds. If negatively aspected these singers could make sacrifices that are damaging to their mental health or get involved with substance abuse.

#singer asteroid #astrology #astro observations #astrology observations #astro notes #asteroid 10698 #asteroids #music #idol #kpop #pop culture

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jhoneybees · 4 months ago

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Guardian Angel

Here you go, darlings :)

Characters: 70s!Elvis x little!reader

Warnings/triggers: Anxiety, Stage fright, age regression, little!space

_____________________________________________

Elvis has always been the type to not seek help when he needs it. He just thinks he can handle everything himself, he’s done it from the day he could walk and talk.

So asking for help is a thing he never really does. Why would he anyhow? It’s beyond him because he can deal with his own troubles himself.

When people do offer him help, he’s appreciative of it. It’s kind but he just declines the offer and politely brushes it off.

When it comes to you though, someone he’s been madly in love with from the first time you met. He occasionally accepts your help whenever you would offer because he knows you can sense he’s lying when he says he doesn’t need anyone to help and he knows it worries you and he hates seeing a pretty little thing like you worrying.

So ever since preparing for the opening night at the International hotel, he’s been considering the thought of asking you to comfort him with his stage fright. He doesn’t really know how though.

He’s always suffered from stage fright. Every performance he did, from the first concert in Tupelo to the comeback special he was a shaky, sweaty, anxious mess and tonight isn’t any different. It’s actually worse.

“Smile, E!” a photographer calls out.

After giving the camera what it wants, Elvis lowers his eyes back down towards the coffee table. Nervously fidgeting with a pen in his hand and licking his lips, his head spins with thoughts of tonight’s upcoming performance and the commotion going around him.

It’s a big milestone for Elvis, to be performing at the International. He gets this opportunity to show a pretty big audience that big sound he’s been experimenting with on a big stage and it gives him an opportunity to connect with his fans more.

He’s real excited but also mighty nervous.

“Wardrobe in half an hour, Elvis.”

Elvis nods.

Running his hand through his hair with a deep breath, Elvis lifts his gaze and leans back against the couch with his hands on his head as he scans the room.

“Tonight is a new performance with a new audience” he thinks to himself.

He gulps.

Damn, his nerves are eating him alive.

Elvis sighs quietly and closes his eyes, trying his best to soothe his anxious mind before someone mentions you coming into the room.

“Daddy?” a soft voice calls out.

Opening his eyes again and looking to his right, he smiles gently at the sight of you standing there fiddling with the hem of your pretty pink dress. Looking at him with big eyes.

Dropping the pen on the coffee table, Elvis holds his arms out with a hum. “Hi baby”

Seeing the corners of your mouth turn up, you climb up to straddle his lap and he pats your head softly.

“How’s my little, hm?” he asks, earning a quiet nod from you and he lightly chuckles as you wrap your arms around his neck and rest your head in the crook of his neck.

“Good?”

“Mhm…”

He breathes out a smile and pecks your forehead with a small hum. Tightening his embrace around your sweet figure before looking down as you speak. “Daddy’s gonna sing see see rider?”

Elvis laughs and nods. “Mhm, Daddy’s gonna sing a lot of songs tonight.”

He feels you move your head and cups your cheek with loving eyes. Noticing your eyebrows furrowing slightly.

“Daddy?”

“Hm?”

“You’re nervous.”

Elvis frowns and chuckles confused.

“How do you know that?” rubbing your cheek with his thumb.

You lightly shrug. “Help?”

He observes your face and thinks, he adores how you always ask him if he wants help.

He reluctantly nods.

“A-Alright…” he whispers.

Smiling a little at your sparkly eyes, he lets out a breath that he didn’t know that he was holding in as you hug him again. This time a lot tighter.

“What’re nervous ‘bout?” you ask and he breathes in deeply, squeezing you in his firm hold.

“...Nervous about the show, baby.”

Feeling your head move on his shoulder again, you pull away and look at him with a calm expression. “s okay ta be nervous ‘bout the show, Daddy.”

“Yeah?”

“Mhm…” you nod. “Shows that you care.”

Elvis smiles genuinely at your words.

“E-Everyone came to see you because they love you, Daddy, jus’ like I do!” you exclaim, making him chuckle and pat your butt gently.

“Ya think so?”

He laughs again at you cupping his cheeks. “Yeah! No one does a show like Daddy does.”

You always seem to know what to say to ease his nerves. It’s almost like you’re his little guardian angel.

“Thank you, Angel.”

#elvis presley #elvis fans #elvis #i love him #70s elvis #elvis fandom #elvis imagine #elvis presley x reader #cg!elvis x little!reader #little!reader #cg!elvis

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all-mirth-no-matter · 8 months ago

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Time After Time | Chapter Seventeen

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader, Tommy Shelby x Original Female Character

Summary: You meet the new Inspector and have a heart to heart with Tommy.

Warning: language

ao3 link | catch up on tumblr here

Chapter 17: Change on the Rise

What good’s a man, who’s lost his soul? Can’t take a stand, mmm when his flame’s gone cold. Mmm fend off the enemy, sing out the jubilee. WIth all the fire we can breathe, we’re singing all day, and you can’t tame it. — Change on the Rise, Avi Kaplan

There were a few things you were still getting used to about the 1910s. The smell. The smoke. The actual shit on the ground. The misogyny. The cold water. The lack of knowledge of what was toxic for your body and what wasn’t.

You thought about the last one every morning as you got ready for work, trying to stay away from any unsafe words you knew, but slightly frightful of a lot of the stuff you didn’t recognize.

Typically, you tried to remain as natural as you could. And if you were honest with yourself, you only really wore make-up or did a double check on your hair when you knew you’d be seeing Tommy — it was only slightly pathetic, you tried to convince yourself when you realized what you were doing.

What was mostly pathetic was recently, when you noticed you started putting in more effort after Grace began working in the pub full time. The woman looked like a movie star from your time, and you hated how insecure it made you feel about your own appearance.

And then there was the singing.

There was a moment, the night of her first shift, when she’d begun to sing in an attempt to distract a fight breaking out. She stood on the table and began to sing something you definitely didn’t recognize, though the rest of the room obviously did. The whole pub had joined in by the time she was nearing the end of her third song (that you still didn’t know), when the first of the Peaky boys entered the pub.

You hated yourself for how envious of Grace’s ability you were in that moment. Just a month ago, you and Tommy had been in this spot, alone, you singing him a song from your own time. It’d been your thing, it felt. And now, he was captivated along with the rest of the bar with Grace’s siren voice. Soon though, everyone finally noticed his entrance and slowly lowered their voices, save for Grace who ended the verse properly despite her confusion of the sudden end. When Harry approached him to comment on how there hadn’t been any singing in the pub since before the war, Tommy met your eyes. For a moment, you thought he was going to tell them to stop — but instead, he said a soft “carry on” before moving into the snug and shutting the door.

But your insecurities with Grace were your problem, and you tried to keep it from affecting you in any significant way, especially in how you treated her. You’d worked in bars long enough to push down the green monster that came with the territory sometimes, which luckily got easier the more you spent time with her. Grace continued to be nice and polite, but she was soft spoken and sort of skittish, innocent almost – something you warned her wouldn’t mix well with the company they maintained at the Garrison. Finally though, you seemed to manage to break her reserve and loosen up during the slower periods of the day, and she was quite funny when she wanted to be.

But still, no matter how well you seemed to get along, you just couldn’t shake the weird feeling you got from her. There was something in the way she over explained herself, like she was trying to convince the room of her place in it. It was an unease you saw in yourself, but mirrored – you often felt like you under-explained, or kept quiet, in an attempt to blend in with your surroundings.

Despite your own reservations of the girl, there was one thing you knew for certain. She definitely lied about her previous experience. She was clumsy with the bottles, needed remindings on drink orders, and thought far too hard on her pours. It made training much more taxing than you’d originally anticipated.

The good news was that she was smart – smart enough to handle money and inventory, at least – which was an area you thought you’d have to overcompensate for.

Still, due to the amount of time you’d been spending training Grace, you started coming into the pub early on the mornings you didn’t have to be at the Shelby’s to catch up on the books.

You heard a loud crash and some shouting outside, causing you to jump up from your seat in the back room of the pub. You rushed to the main room to find a tall man standing in the doorway, a bowler hat on his head. He was significantly taller than you, his long jacket giving him a looming presence as he took up the majority of the entryway.

“Morning,” he greeted in a heavy Irish accent. “We haven’t had the pleasure.”

You crossed your arms, “We’re closed–”

“I’m not here for drinks.”

Behind him, through the closed doors, you heard more shouting. The man noticed your eyes drift around him, and smiled.

“Oh, don’t worry. My Specials have been told not to touch the Garrison. You’re safe,” his eyes giving you a once over, “for now.”

Specials, you thought, looking at him more closely. “You’re the Inspector from Belfast.”

His right cheek pulled up into a smirk. “You’ve heard of me?”

You gestured around the room, trying to convey an air of indifference. “I work in a pub. Your presence has been a big topic lately.” A loud crash came from outside followed by more shouting. “What are they doing out there?”

“Routine inspection,” he shrugged. “I’m here to clean up this town.”

“And that includes ransacking innocent families?” you asked, your face doing nothing to hide your disapproval.

He chuckled. “Innocent. As if you can’t see the degradation and sin that lies beyond these walls.”

Your mouth snapped shut at that. He wasn’t exactly wrong. You’d noticed a drastic change over the last couple months in the town. The high of the war's end was beginning to wane – and the streets of Small Heath were slowly eating away at itself. Veterans were scrounging for jobs, widows were desperate for stability, and children ran wild throughout the city. Brawls broke out in the middle of the streets at least once a night, crowds of men betting on outcomes. Men had women pressed against the walls, not even bothering to make into the alleyways. When you saw some girls who couldn’t even be in their teens, you felt your chest clinch even tighter, the dread and disgust building higher for this place. Every day you felt even more hardened by the harsh realities of the world and your place in it.

Despite this, you’d come to know a good majority of the families who lived on Watery Lane, and regardless of the badness out there, you knew there was good that didn’t deserve whatever was happening just outside of your establishment.

“What do you want, Inspector?” you said, your voice stronger. You gestured around you, “If you’re here to inspect, feel free. You’ll find nothing here but alcohol and cigarettes.”

“Oh, I’m sure that’s not true,” he took another step toward you, tilting his head as he rose his brow, the sly smirk still tight at his cheek. “You’ve heard of me, well, I’ve heard of you as well. Though oddly enough, no papers on ya.”

Your back straightened at that and he continued his walk closer. You tried not to let it show, but truthfully, that’d been a fear of yours after you’d come to terms with your new timeline. You didn’t have any identification or historical papers, nor did you have any bank accounts (not that you would have been able to have one of your own anyhow, since you were unmarried and essentially orphaned). You’d even masterminded a big story about there being deaths and a fire that burnt whatever record you would have had that said you were a citizen. But after a while of no one asking or no one caring, you let the story fade and your fear along with it. Now, you were wondering how much trouble exactly you would get in, and if there was a way you could acquire some new papers.

Seemingly happy with the threat settling in, the Inspector shrugged. “Lucky for you, I don’t have time to worry about runaways or travelers at the moment. What I am interested in is the company you keep. As I understand it, you’re quite close with the Shelbys, are you not?”

“My friendship with Ada is no secret–”

“And what of the brothers?

You shrugged, “What of them?”

“Are you friendly with them as well?” he rose a brow suggestively, your own furrowing at the implication. Ignoring your reaction, he continued, “If so, you should know that Arthur agreed his people would help us.”

You thought about Arthur’s face, how this man in front of you had beaten a man then asked for his cooperation. You weren’t foolish enough to believe he wouldn’t do the same to you if you were to give off any hint of what you knew. Knowing this, you kept your composure. “As I said, Inspector. I can help you with a drink or a smoke. But if you’re not here for either, then I’m afraid there’s nothing else here I can offer you.”

He hummed amused, finally stopping a hair closer than socially appropriate in what you interpreted as an act of intimidation. “We’ll see about that, won’t we? You will cooperate, one way or another.”

Throwing a coin on the bar counter, he turned and left the pub.

When the doors shut fully, you ran toward them and latched the locks. Despite the Inspector’s promise that his men wouldn’t be coming into the Garrison, you knew you needed to take whatever precautions you could to keep yourself safe. You moved to the snug and peeked through the window, seeing the streets covered with men in uniforms and people pushed and beaten against the side of the building.

After some time, when the final copper rode off, you joined the people outside and began to help tidy the streets. Harry showed up soon to help you open the pub, many of the patrons coming in gripling about the incident.

“They let em do it!” one of the men slurred. “The fuckin’ Shelbys! Copper told me ‘imself. Why do you ‘hink this is the only pub not knackered?”

You and Harry shared a confused look, not sure yourselves why the Specials had hit the other local pubs, but not the Garrison.You suspected it was a power play, intent on this very reaction from the townspeople, since this pub was the favorite amongst the brothers. The fact that the Inspector had paid you a visit was something you kept to yourself, even from Harry. You didn’t say a word about it until you arrived at the Shelbys.

“Jeremiah said he saw the Inspector walk out of the Garrison when the lane was getting turned over,” Polly had said immediately when you walked into the house after your shift. “What’d he say to ya?”

You shrugged off your jacket and took a seat at the table, recollecting your conversation. “That’s not true, right?” you asked when you got to him saying Arthur had agreed to helping.

“‘Course not,” Polly blew out some smoke from her cigarette. “But that copper wants to turn the town against us. The boys are out now paying off the landlords and cleaning up. Showing their faces, and all that. Well, except Tommy. He’s preoccupied with the bloody horse he won against the Lees this morning.”

You weren’t surprised, having been privy to his goal of starting a fight with the Lees. You’d asked him the day before if he really thought it was smart to continue with his Kimber plan now that he had the guns to deal with. Tommy had been adamant that this would only further benefit his efforts, and concluded that not taking advantage would be a waste of an opportunity. You’d given up any argument, mostly because deep down you knew he was right.

But now, after seeing the extent this Investigator would go to, you worried that Tommy may be in over his head.

“Best to stay in tonight,” Polly said, interrupting your thoughts. “Tommy has a plan to push back, get the people back on our side.”

That night, you did as Polly instructed. Close to midnight, you saw the flames through your apartment window. In the street, a bonfire was lit, with what looked like portraits being thrown in. In the middle of the crowd stood Tommy, his face illuminated by the flames as he smoked his cigarette and talked to the men around him.

After finally making out the subject of the paintings, you chuckled. “God, the balls on this guy.”

That was on Sunday. On Monday, Ada had determined she was pregnant. On Tuesday, Tommy confronted her and found out it was Freddie’s, who’d disappeared during the copper raid. On Wednesday, your Monaghan Boy finally lost his first race, earning the gambling den more money than you’d ever seen. On Thursday, Polly tried to convince Ada to terminate the pregnancy.

It was now Friday night. You were walking out of the pub, leaving Grace to her first closing shift, when you ran into a rain soaked Tommy.

“Y/N,” he greeted you, though you could tell there wasn’t something right. “Going home?”

“Yeah,” you answered cautiously, turning back to the locked door. “Did you want to go in?”

“S’it empty?” You shook your head no. “Do you have whiskey at your place?”

Still confused, you nodded, “Um, yeah. I snagged a bottle last week after the raid.”

“Then no,” he confirmed, walking instead toward your flat.

You stood there for a moment, before he turned back around and asked if you were coming.

By the time he settled into one of your dining chairs, you handed him a double shot, grabbing the bottle and another glass before joining him in the second chair.

He threw back the drink, poured himself another finger, then threw that one back as well. “The Lee bastards cursed my horse.”

It was the first words uttered by either of you since you’d left the Garrison, so his choice of conversation starter was a surprise. “Wha– How do you know?”

“‘Cause I started a war, and this bullet with my name on it wasn’t enough,” he pulled out said bullet and set it on the table. As he poured another drink, you lifted it up carefully, running your thumb against the scratched letters, the meaning behind the literal token causing your chest to tighten. “She wouldn’t have been able to stand by sunrise.”

Wouldn’t have, you caught the past tense of his phrase and knew the beautiful white horse you’d met just a few days ago was not alive anymore. “Poor girl,” you said softly as you watched Tommy wipe his hand across his face.

“You know, in France…” his eyes wouldn’t meet yours, instead staring off to the side. “In France, I got used to seeing men die. Never got used to seeing the horses die. They die badly.”

He blinked, shaking his head as he reached into his jacket and pulled out the cigarette case. He ran his thumb across the silver casing for a moment, before opening and pulling out a stick.

“You knew about Freddie, didn’t ya?”

Ada had sought you out after her confrontation with Tommy in the movie theater and told you everything. You’d been both surprised and not surprised by her news, knowing that she’d been sneaking away to be with him any chance she got, and guessing that the birth control of the time was lacking. She was determined that Freddie would return for her, that the Inspector couldn’t keep him hiding away forever.

“Yes,” you answered.

“You didn’t tell me.”

“No.”

He sighed, “Why not?”

Your brow furrowed genuinely surprised. “You of all people should appreciate my aptitude for secrecy.”

“Aye. It’s the secrets you hide from me that I don’t appreciate.”

You let out a breath, feeling the hint of passive aggression in his statement. “It wasn’t my information to share, Tommy. It’s as simple as that.”

He took a long drag of his cigarette. “Fine.”

Guilt began to creep in as your eyes moved to the dresser drawer where the box Madam Desponia still lived. The leaves and vial were gone, but you kept the box as a token. You weren’t sure why you hadn’t told Tommy yet that you’d dranken the tea. Part of you wanted to keep the experience a secret for personal reasons — it was your dead mother, after all. The other part of you was still insecure about Tommy finding the whole thing crazy. You were finally beginning to gain his acceptance with his surlier world, you hadn’t wanted to push it by throwing in talking to dead people.

“I met with the Inspector today,” he finally said, breaking the silence and pulling you out of your own thoughts. “I told him I had the guns.”

Your mouth dropped in surprise. “Tommy—”

“I struck a deal. No interfering with my business, or future business with Kimber.”

Your mouth hardened into a tight line. “And you think he’ll hold up his end of the deal?”

“I warned him of what will happen if I’m taken into custody. The last thing that man wants is for these guns to land into the hands of the IRA back in Belfast, undoing all his hard work.” He took another long drag of his cigarette. “Campbell didn’t serve; reserved occupation. I anticipate he would do anything to keep his reputation among Mr. Churchill. As long as he doesn’t find out where the guns are hidden, my plan with Kimber remains.”

Happily, you didn’t know where the guns had been moved to after Curly and Charlie lifted them from the stables. And you didn’t want to know who knew either — hell, you weren’t even sure yet if his own brothers knew Tommy even had the guns in the first place. The less you knew the better, in your opinion. You anticipated that your meeting with the Inspector wouldn’t be your last, especially now that he knew Tommy definitely had the guns. You wondered if he’d approach you again, or instead have you watched.

“Just in time for Cheltenham,” he continued. “Which reminds me, you’ll need to pick out a nice dress.”

Your brow creased. “Another race?”

“Not just another race. It’s where we’ll show our strength against the Lees, convince Kimber of our partnership. Monaghan Boy’s win finally caught his attention — I’m told he’ll be paying us a visit soon.”

He poured himself another glass, then yours.

“I didn’t mean to attack you,” he said after taking a deep breath. “The weeks just been—”

“I understand,” you reassured, meaning it. You couldn’t imagine the mental hoops he must be going through trying to juggle everything he had going on.

You shared another glass of whiskey before he ran his hand across his face.

“I don’t know what to do about Ada and Freddie. She has no life with a man on the run.”

You licked your lips, resisting weighing in. Instead, you took a sip of your drink.

Tommy rolled his eyes, but his smirk remained. “That was an invitation. You should know better by now.”

Your cheek flinched at the comment, but you sobered it to match your response.

“I think she’d follow him wherever he goes,” you said plainly, shrugging your shoulders. “Your sister and Freddie seem to have real, deep feelings for each other. He may be gone for now, but I do believe he’ll be back for her.”

He let out a breath, “I think you’re right. Why’d he have to turn into such a fuckin’ menace.”

Your cheek flinched again, knowing he was referring to his communist strikes. “He deserves to know about Ada. Give him the chance to do the right thing.”

“You sound like Pol.” He took another sip of his drink. “Fine. I’ll get him a message. Maybe he’ll actually bloody listen to me and stay gone.”

On Saturday, Billy Kimber and his men paid a visit to the Garrison, just as Tommy had predicted.

“You’re what?” your voice giving away more than you intended.

Tommy took a long drag of his cigarette. “It’ll be an advantage.”

“Yeah, but–”

“But what?” Tommy asked, rising his brow. “It’s a good plan. Kimber took a liking to her, I saw it on his face. I can use her to sweeten the deal.”

Apparently it’d all gone according to plan. It’d been your night off, just Harry and Grace tending to the packed pub, when Kimber’s car arrived.

He’d come to punish them for fixing races without his permission, but began to sway when Tommy proposed an alliance in exchange for help combatting the Lees. Tommy mentioned that Kimber’s accountant and advisor seemed to be the brains of the operation, and felt like he was already warming up to him. They left the pub with a promise to speak again at the races.

What Tommy hadn’t expected was Kimber’s lustful intrigue with Grace.

“Do you trust her?”

You met his eyes. Your default was to be nice, give her the benefit of the doubt. But you wouldn’t lie to Tommy. “No.”

“I looked into her–”

“You did? Why?” you asked, quicker than you wished you had. Tommy didn’t need to know of your insecurity.

“I look into all of the branches of my business associates. I had someone ask around about the pub she used to work at. No one’s heard of her. She lied.” You must have shown a knowing look on your face, because he chuckled sardonically. “But you knew that too, didn’t you?”

“I guessed, but I didn’t know for certain,” you answered honestly. “I just knew she wasn’t as experienced as she’d claimed to be. At least not with the bartending side of things. I didn’t think she was a threat, just a little green, I guess.”

He hummed, “I’d agree. And it seems the town likes her songs.”

You waited a beat, conflicted with the topic opportunity dangling in front of you. But you’d spent too much of your life not saying something or asking questions because of some arbitrary anxiety. Since you’d met Tommy, you’d adopted a certain ‘fuck it’ bravado when it came to awkward conversations.

“You know, for a second, I thought you were going to tell them all to stop singing.”

He took a puff of his cigarette. “I was.”

Your brow creased, “What changed your mind?”

“You,” he answered simply, his eyes meeting yours again. For the first time that night, his gaze began to soften. “How can I disallow what I’d specifically asked from you in that very pub?” After a moment, his brow creased. “Why don’t you ever sing?”

“I can’t sing to crowds,” you said with an embarrassed shake of your head at the mere thought. “I don’t have near the range that Grace does, or half the confidence. I love music — me singing is just my way of hearing the songs I miss.”

“Good.” You rose your brow at his response. He offered you a rise of the corner of his mouth, “I enjoy being one of few who get to hear you sing.”

You couldn’t help the blush that spread across your cheeks. God, you were so far gone.

“Well,” you deflected, “since you have Grace, I guess you won’t need me at Cheltenham as well.”

He chuckled softly, “On the contrary. I have a job for you. One week, and we’re off to the races.”

>> next chapter << chapter masterlist

#tommy shelby #peaky blinders #thomas shelby #peaky blinders x reader #tommy shelby x oc #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby fanfic #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinder fanfic #thomas shelby x reader #thomas shelby x oc #time after time #mine #fanfic #fanfiction

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amberjazmyn · 4 months ago

Text

slipping through my fingers 🫶

pairing : charles leclerc x fem!leclerc reader

summary : it's the day of charles leclerc's younger sister madaline's wedding to her long-time fiancé. charles and the f1 grid are way more emotional about it than they all thought they would be. they realised that their little sister was growing up and almost as though she was slipping through their fingers. especially when twelve hours before, marianna was utterly frightful of getting married to her fiancé.

warnings : other than some tears, older brother x charles leclerc, mentions of the losses of jules bianchi & herve leclerc, wedding fluff but not much

a/n : this is the third time i'm rewriting this and i love it so much so i decided to rewrite it for the one and only charles leclerc because this is my fave abba song. also, this is not to disrespect the losses of herve leclerc and jules bianchi, it is so saddening that charles has lost those two important men in his life as well as others like anthoine hubert and this is not to be rude or any of the sort.

madaline was absolutely mortified and she couldn't understand why she was so scared. was it because she was twenty-three years old and was getting married to the love of her life in literally less than twelve hours? or that she was getting married without two of the most important people there with her? for as long as she could remember, her biggest fear was the prospect of something bad happening to her parents and her family. yet, within two years of one another, madaline lost her brother charles' godfather, jules, to an f1 crash and then their dad two years later to a terminal illness, their mum the last parent left. and now, at this point, she had absolutely no idea about who she was going to get ready with for her wedding, who was going to walk her down the aisle or anything of that sort. come to think of it actually, madaline felt and knew exactly the fear, stress and anxiety that sophie sheridan from mamma mia was going through during the movie. and honestly, this isn't something that the poor girl ever thought she'd be feeling twelve hours out from her wedding. she genuinely thought she'd be jumping up and with the utmost excitement, more than she had ever been before. however, she couldn't even think about jumping up and down or be a tad bit excited and it was all because of the fact her mum, pascale, was focusing on helping the groom. not because she hated her daughter but because she knew that it was best to have her girls with her. that and she didn't have her dad, herve or jules, to walk her down the aisle and give her away to her husband-to-be.

madaline felt like her head was travelling and spinning at a million miles per millisecond and she couldn't do anything to stop it, even if she tried. even if some of her bridesmaids told her to relax and that she was going to be okay, she physically couldn't and it genuinely caused some arguements. and that was something everyone had been hoping and trying their hardest to avoid the entire time. so, as tears began to cloud the young girl's eyes, chaos freely flying around her mind, she ran to the only other two people she knew would be able to help her clear her mind, making her judgement clearer.

holding back sobs, madaline helplessly beat down on the bedroom door of charles and his girlfriend alexandra and when no noise of acknowledgement came back, the distressed bride-to-be nearly slid down the door in complete hysterics. before madaline suddenly squealed, the door opened however charles nor alexandra opened the door. kika and lily did, the girlfriends of pierre gasly and oscar piastri.

"...madaline? are you okay sweetheart?" kika questioned, lily reaching her hand out for madaline to hold as the girl's teary eyes grew wide as she tried to hide her tears

both kika and lily knew their "sister" and could immediately tell that the young bride-to-be wasn't okay. however, both lily and kika didn't need to wait that long before madaline shook her head.

her eyes closing as her body shook from her sobs before being immediately scooped up in a hug by the two girls, "oh, madaline, baby girl, what's wrong?" kika whispered, softly rocking the distressed girl side to side, lily moving side to side as well

allowing the girl to calm down properly, the girls waited patiently for an answer, taking in a breath, madaline responded, "the wedding...it...i'm scared, kika, lily...ah..sorry for the tears--"

"--don't apologise, sweetpea, not to us especially...why are you so scared, madaline? i think instead of this just being between the three of us, we should tell charles, arthur and lorenzo or pascale even?" lily stepped in this time, offering the girl options as to who else she could talk to about her wedding fears as madaline managed a small smirk in gratitude for kika and lily

"thanks girls and could i tell you and charles, please?" madaline almost whispered, sounding almost ashamed for being so fearful of the event that she was once so excited about and was now so terrified of

"oh, of course, you can darling! sit tight here for a bit, alright and we'll grab charles..." as lily and kika went to both leave the room to get charles, one of madaline's brother, they were stopped by that very girl who refused to get go of the girls' hands scoffing softly, kika spoke up this time as she turned around,

"...darling, we can't get charles if you don't let go of me and lily," kika spoke softly as madaline shook her head

the girls quickly recognising the fear in madaline's as the same one they first saw when the news broke out about the deaths of her dad herve. breaking the hearts of both kika and lily - since it was a look they hadn't seen since that day.

"can...ah...shoot...could you both stay here?" madaline stammered out shyly as both kika and lily immediately nodded their heads, kika grabbing her phone to shoot charles a text instead

"of course, i can mads," kika smiled softly, the text quickly sent as she pulled her distressed bff in for another hug whilst they all, kika, lily and madaline waited for charles

the three girls found their way to charles' bed and sat there quietly when they suddenly heard the quick footsteps of charles. it sounded like he was panicking and running so, they knew right away they needed everyone to be calm and collected. so, with the help of kika and lily, madaline took in some deep breaths and tried to reduce and get rid of as many tears from her face as possible. however, the moment charles entered the room, it seemed like he could already tell what was stressing his little sister out and it truly devastated him and he didn't even need to think that hard to figure it out either.

catching his breath back, charles gently went down to his knees and held his sister's hands, "je sais pourquoi tu as peur madaline mais je veux que tu me le dises. qu'est-ce qui te tracasse, chérie ? qu'est-ce qui vous empêche d'être si enthousiasmé par ce qui sera le plus beau jour de votre vie et de celle de votre fiancé ? tu étais tellement excité ces dernières semaines, qu'est-ce qui a changé?" charles whispered in french as kika and lily slowly backed away, allowing the brother and sister to have this talk in private, madaline's chin wobbled as she shrugged her shoulders i know why you're scared madaline but i want you to tell me. what's bothering you, honey? what's stopping you from being so excited about what's going to be the happiest day of your and your fiancé's life? you were so excited the past few weeks, what's changed?

truthfully, she didn't want to tell her brother the reason, even though she knew he knew since he just explained that he knew but wanted to hear it from her. she just felt like if she said it out loud, it would be true and she didn't want it to be true. madaline, in some ways, still refused to believe that their dad and charles' godfather were dead, as childish (and possibly delusional) as it was, she still hated the thought that she, at twenty-three, only had her mum left apart from her three brother's, lorenzo, charles and arthur. she despised that she was the only leclerc sibling out of all four of them that wouldn't get the chance to have their dad walk her down the aisle and have jules there like she always dreamt they would. whilst lorenzo was the only other sibling married, it still was upsetting that madaline that her dad would never get the opportunity to walk her down the aisle and she'd never get the opportunity to tease jules for being so emotional over it during the reception. wait, depised isn't the right word at all. it absolutely killed her that her dad and jules weren't alive to see her get married to the man who truly saved their youngest daughter's life more times than countable on two hands. however, charles wanted to be told so then he could help his sister because he knew how hard it was to plan a wedding with your parents involved so, he knew that it would be even harder without.so, he wanted to do every single thing, big or small, he could to help his little sister with the most important day of her life.

charles sighed softly, picking himself up off the ground and sitting beside his sister on his bed, "est-ce que ça a à voir avec le fait que papa et jules ne soient pas là ?" charles whispered softly, emotion wavering in his voice for it was also emotional for him to talk about the fact that their dad and godfather weren't alive for the wedding as madaline's staggered breath and nod of the head confirmed charles's question has it got to do with dad and jules not being here?

madaline closed her eyes, leaning into her brother as the tears she had tried so desperately hard to hold back just exploded down her face as she covered it with her hand. charles held his sister as tightly as he could as his heart broke even more. this was basically the first time since losing their dad and jules that madaline had actually cried over their deaths. which is why it was hitting the girl all at once with her wedding being less than a day away and knowing that dad and jules wouldn't be there to be witness to it.

even though it was more than charles just being an emotional person, he could also feel tears stream down his own cheeks as he hugged his sister tightly as she just fell apart in his grip, "je t'aime, madaline. tout ira bien, je le promets," charles whispered as he started to soothe madaline's cries as she started to take in some deep breaths to control herself i love you, madaline. we'll be okay, i promise

"je t'aime aussi, charles... et tu le penses vraiment ?" madaline whispered back as charles nodded his head, his grip not once weakening i love you too, charles...and you really think so?

"je le sais, madaline! quoi qu'il arrive, ils seront toujours avec nous, dans nos cœurs et cela ne pourra jamais nous être enlevé!" charles responded as madaline hummed, a small smile gracing her lips as she nodded her head in agreement i know so, madaline! no matter what, they'll always be with us, in our hearts and that can never be taken away from us!

"personne ne peut l'enlever..." she trailed off as she and charles stayed in one another's embrace no one can take that away

❘༻༺❘

𝐰𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐚𝐲

her head was swirling with regret, madaline had just blurted out to her brother's girlfriend, alexandra if she could help her get ready for her wedding alongside kika, lily and kelly. it originally looked as though alex didn't want to do it, that is, until tears welled in her eyes and she smiled.

tearing up, alexandra spoke up, "...you want me to help you get ready, mads?" she nearly whispered as her voice caught with emotion, madaline nodding her head with the sweetest smile after she relaxed

"is that okay, alex?" madaline questions with the biggest smile as lily, kika and kelly stand behind the girl with smiles on their face

alexandra nodded her head, her smile big, "of course! i'd be honoured, madaline! thank you for even asking me let alone lily, kika and kelly! do the other girls in the bridal party know we're helping you?" alexandra questions as madaline smiles, nodding her head

"yeah, that's why maman's with them. she's getting ready with them right now. we'll be seeing them after though during the first look alongside charles and the groomsmen," madaline smiled as alexandra sighed, pulling her sister-in-law in for a hug and smiled

lily, kika and kelly also smiling and immediately decided to get the young bride ready in an instant, the rest of the bridal party getting ready next door.

and because it was all of a sudden too quiet, the girls decided to play her wedding playlist they had specifically created and hit shuffle. and, like it was fate, the very first song that played was none other than abba's slipping through my fingers. smiling softly as kika started her makeup, madaline started to sing and hearing her sing made the other girls smile at her. especially since the girl's favourite movie was mamma mia, the movie from which this song is from.

schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning, waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile, i watch her go with a surge of that well-known sadness

madaline smiled as she sat on the makeup chair whilst kika did her makeup whilst lily, kelly and alexandra watched on in pure joy at the girl's happiness when just not even a day earlier, she was terrified and sobbing in her older brother's arms about it.

it hadn't taken kika that long to do madaline's makeup when she smacked the bride-to-be's bum and told her to move over to lily's. sitting in lily's lap, lily started to paint madaline's toenails since her nails had already been done days beforehand alongside kelly.

and, it was at this moment that madaline realised why weddings were so emotional and so stressful because there was a sort of innocence that she'd be losing because she'd be growing up. but, at the same time, madaline was the happiest she had ever been and she was just so excited to be married that she kind of tried her best to soak in and savour all the emotion so that she'd never forget it.

and i have to sit down for a while, the feeling that i'm losing her forever, and without really entering her world, i'm glad whenever i can share her laughter, that funny little girl

whilst doing madaline's toes, lily started to sing along with her to slipping through my fingers as it truly did feel like the f1 grid was losing their little leclerc baby after a short twenty-three years. and six of those twenty-three years, she had been dating her husband-to-be. so, for the rest of the f1 grid seeing their little baby finally marry her husband made it real for them. it made it real that she was growing up and entering into the new life that they all had been in for more than two decades at this point.

even though he knew he wasn't allowed to be actively looking for his sister, charles just couldn't help himself to stay when he heard madaline and lily, along with kika, kelly and alexandra, all sing together. it almost made him teary-eyed when he realised the song... who was he kidding, it totally made him cry when he heard the song as he rested his head against the door as he too also started to quietly sing along to the song. this song is really meaningful to charles now that he really started to feel like his younger sister was slipping through his fingers and finally growing up and getting married.

slipping through my fingers all the time, i try to capture every minute, the feeling in it

charles sang softly as he closed his eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks as he rested his head against the door of the room where his sister was getting ready with the help of his girlfriend alexandra and the other f1 wags. the wedding photographer was also in there but seemed as though she was also joining in with the singing and having fun.

charles smiled tearfully as he continued to sing, grateful that even though madaline was missing their dad and jules. who were sadly no longer with them on earth, she was still positive and allowing herself to fully be present and have all the fun in the world. no longer upset or scared about her wedding.

slipping through my fingers all the time, do i really see what's in her mind? each time i think i'm close to knowing, she keeps on growing

as charles sang softly on the other side of the door, lily had finished painting madaline's toenails so kelly was now taking care of madaline's hairstyle before finishing it off by having alexandra help assist madaline into her wedding dress.

the girls continued to sing whilst the photographer continued to snap some candid photos of kelly curling madaline's hair before braiding two sections and forming it into a bun at the base of her head. "...wow kelly, this looks perfect and it's only just started..."

slipping through my fingers all the time

madaline smiled at the mirror as kelly finished doing her hair. her long blonde locks were curled and put back with a braided bun that was decorated with baby's breath. now that her hair, makeup and toenails were done, all that was left was to get her into her ceremony dress since madaline realised she couldn't choose between two. so, instead of having to choose which one to say no to, she decided which one to wear for the actual ceremony and then which one to wear for the reception afterwards.

"...thank you girls! i cannot thank you enough for helping me get ready!"

charles' pov

i could tell from the window next to madaline's room that she was getting changed into her ceremony dress with the help of my girlfriend, charlotte. turning away from the window, i sat down and rested against the door as i softly started to sing the next verse of slipping through my fingers. i hadn't realised until this very moment that the girls had been playing it and singing to it that i really related to it. in the same way, dad and jules surely would have related to it, because it was finally madaline's wedding day, i truly realised and felt like she was all of a sudden just slipping through my fingers and growing up way too quickly for my liking.

going back through our childhood together, before my motorsport really took off and took me away from my family, i remember always telling madaline to just slow down. because, before she knew it, she'd be getting married and having to do the adult stuff like pay for bills and work tirelessly so she should be thankful that she was still young. and for her to stay young for as long as she could and now, she was an adult. i mean, she has for the last few years, only a year younger than me and she was getting married. and there was no way i could just press a button that stopped time and stopped my sister from getting any older.

and i'm not saying this because i never want madaline to grow up or get married or create her own family. nah, that just sounds a tiny bit creepy. it brings me so much joy to see madaline grow up and get married to her beautiful husband-to-be and have a family with him. it just makes me sad that she's no longer that spunky, bubbly, innocent little girl like she used to be. i just sometimes wish she could stay this little forever as selfish as it sounds, i just know it's something that dad and jules would be begging madaline about because i know they'd also want their little girl to stay as little forever as i'd want her to.

but, that's the thing, she can't stay that little forever and, she has to grow up and get married and have her own family. otherwise i don't think madaline would be as happy as she is now if she wasn't moments away from getting married to her husband-to-be.

sleep in our eyes, her and me at the breakfast table barely awake, i let precious time go by. then when she's gone, there's that odd melancholy feeling and a sense of guilt i can't deny

i smiled as i sang, even though i knew i'd start crying and just let myself reflect. i was remembering those days when madaline and i were younger than we are now, obviously, sleep in our eyes and the both of us eating our breakfast together before going our separate ways to school and whatever it was i was doing with karting and motorsport. and now, i've realised the precious time that i just let slip away now that she's gone and just as donna sings to sophie, i feel that same odd melancholy feeling and guilt that i wasn't able to deny.

as the girls continued to sing, i knew i had to leave since i also had to get ready due to the wedding being less than an hour away at this point. walking away, i could faintly hear madaline and the girls sing the next verse making me smile at two of my best girls.

what happened to the wonderful adventures, the places i had planned for us to go? well, some of that we did, but most we didn't and why, i just don't know

knowing that i had been crying before walking back into the room where the groomsmen and best men were getting ready, i wiped away my tears as best as i could and took in a deep breath. mainly because i knew if madaline's husband-to-be saw me crying, he himself might start freaking out and that wasn't something that was needed at this point. especially now with so little time before the actual ceremony taking place. however, as soon as the lads were all ready and just chilling at this point, resting in our hotel room after so many photos had been taken, a small knock was heard on the door.

due to being the closest to the door, pierre opened it to see his girlfriend, kika's gorgeous smile straight away, "hey kika, what are you doing here?" pierre spoke up as kika smiled before giving an apologetic look to noah, madaline's husband-to-be

"i am so sorry noah but, is it okay if i just steal your guys for a moment? madaline has requested to have a small little moment with them before the ceremony..." kika trailed off as all of the groomsmen (me, pierre, lando, max, daniel, oscar, taylor and damien, two of noah's brothers) all lit up in excitement as noah smiled

"...of course you can, kika, it's not a problem at all," noah smiles as kika sends him a wink and grabs my hand whilst the rest of the groomsmen filter out behind us in a mix of confusion and excitement as to why we were suddenly being summoned

❘༻༺❘

by the time the groomsmen and kika had made their way to a gorgeous floral archway, they stopped and in confusion, charles spoke up asking kika why they had been dragged all the way over there.

"...kika, what are we doing here?" charles questions with a soft giggle as francisca smiles lovingly at her best friend

knowing that madaline wouldn't have the chance of a first look with her dad and to be walked down the aisle by him, she thought this was the perfect time to let madaline have a first look with her husband-to-be's groomsmen. which included her brother and also have him walk her down the aisle.

smiling, kika spoke up, "do you trust me, charles?" charles smiled and nodded his head at his best friend almost immediately - of course he trusted her, how could he not?

"of course, i trust you, kika!" charles answers in a matter-of-fact tone which makes the group giggle as francisca smiles back before responding

"good because i'll need you guys to close your eyes and keep them closed until i tell you to open them again, okay?" kika announces which slightly worries them but they listen and close their eyes

francisca noticed that all the guys had closed their eyes and weren't trying to peak or try to see what was going on so she gestured for madaline to come out of her hiding spot and walk over to the groomsmen for the first look.

slipping through my fingers all the time, i try to capture every minute the feeling in it

taking in a deep breath, madaline stood in front of her husband-to-be's groomsmen which literally included her older brother, charles and the other f1 grid racers that her husband was friends with. this was originally a moment she had been waiting for and dreaming of doing with her dad and jules. however, due to their untimely deaths, she wasn't able to do that. so, noah, madaline and francisca decided that as a compromise, madaline would instead do a first look with the groomsmen and then ask charles if he could walk her down the aisle since their dad wasn't able to do it.

francisca gave the girl some comfort knowing this whole situation was emotional and bittersweet for the girl before giving her a slight head nod, signalling that she could tell the guys to open their eyes.

"...you can open your eyes now..."

slipping through my fingers all the time, do i really see what's in her mind? each time i think i'm close to knowing, she keeps on growing. slipping through my fingers all the time

...as soon as madaline spoke up, letting the guys open their eyes, they did just that and then all fell silent as soon as they realised who was in front of them. standing in front of noah's groomsmen stood madaline all dressed up in her wedding dress and looking exactly how charles had imagined his baby sister would look like on her wedding day.

silence filled the floral outdoor archway for a few more moments before a tearful charles spoke up in french, "...tu es si jolie, madaline," he sniffled quietly as he smiled wide as madaline sighed out of relief as she giggled softly you look so pretty, madaline

"thanks, charles, you guys look so good as well!" madaline giggled in english as she swayed side to side shyly before charles walked forward

grabbing his sister's hands, he lifted one up as she smiled in slight confusion before understanding what he was doing when he started to twirl her to see the rest of the dress and the back of her hair. holding back a sob with his free hand, charles spoke up again as everyone else watched on with smiles.

"dad and jules are for sure kicking themselves that they're not here to see this," charles' voice broke as tears welled in his eyes and madaline nodded her head, her facial expressions softening

"i know, charles. i bet they are roaring mad that they're missing out but, i know they're here, i can feel them. they may not be alive but they're here!" madaline smiled as she pulled her brother in for a hug, giving him a quick kiss on the head

she then moved to pierre, lando, max, daniel, oscar, taylor and damien for hugs before moving back over to her brother to ask him a very important question.

"...charles, i have a question i wanted to ask you..." madaline trailed off in english so the others could understand since not all of them spoke or understood french as she held her brother's hand as he smiled, nodding his head

"...what is it bug?" charles replied with a smile on his face as everyone else watched on in suspense, everyone but kika, obviously

"well, since dad isn't here, and mum focusing on all of her other jobs making sure lorenzo and arthur are behaving, i was wondering if you wanted to walk me down the aisle and give me away..." madaline trailed off as charles' eyes once again filled with tears as a shaky breath left his mouth

"...are you sure?" charles whispered as his voice broke and madaline nodded her head, a big smile on her face

"i'm serious, i'm not marrying noah if you don't give me away, please charles. and before you ask, i have already asked mum, lorenzo and arthur but they have all kindly refused, wanting it to be you. so, please, will you walk me down the aisle, cause, truthfully, i'm too scared to do it alone..." madaline trailed off softly, her voice in a tone that wasn't at all pleading as charles gulped

he had no idea that their mum and two other brothers had refused to walk their daughter and sister down the aisle because they wanted him to do it instead. he wasn't hesitating because he didn't want to walk his sister down the aisle, he was hesitating because he knew that this job was supposed to be their dad's, not his. however, charles quickly came to his decision and wiped away his tears, smiling and nodding his head.

"even though i wish dad was here to do this, i'll be honoured to walk you down the aisle, mads," charles breathed out with a smile, madaline smiled brightly as she was brought into a hug by charles

❘༻༺❘

sometimes i wish that i could freeze the picture, and save it from the funny tricks of time, slipping through my fingers...

madaline smiled as she and charles walked down the aisle, her husband-to-be, noah patiently waiting for them. staring at her in complete awe, noah felt tears well in his eyes but he kept his cool even when he saw the tears well in his soon-to-be brother-in-law's eyes as he held his younger sister's hand as tightly as he possibly could.

the song that charles and madaline were walking down the aisle to was amazed by lonestar since it was the song that had been pre-picked by jules and herve years ago, before noah and madaline were even old enough to consider being married. it only made sense that that song stayed unchanged as it now paid tribute to them both.

the brother and sister had now made it halfway down the aisle and that was when they finally decided to share a sweet, comforting look with one another. both of them acknowledged that whilst today was a happy occasion, it was still upsetting and bittersweet that their dad and jules weren't alive to see it take place.

leaning to her ear, charles spoke up in french, "ça va, bug?" he whispered as madaline smiled and lightly nodded her head, so as not to alert the guests that they were talking you alright, bug?

"mhm, je vais bien charles," she mumbled back as charles smiled and took in another deep breath, comforted by the fact that his sister was okay mhm, i'm okay charles

"slipping through my fingers all the time. schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning, waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile,"

tears filled charles' eyes as he gave his sister away to marry noah, ignoring the way the bridal party, groomsmen and guests watched in complete awe. standing with his girlfriend with the rest of the bridal party, he couldn't help the tears that fell down his cheeks watching his sister get married to her husband without their dad and jules there at the wedding since their deaths.

halfway through the ceremony, madaline turned her head and made eye contact with her teary-eyed brother. understanding her brother's emotions, she smiled comfortingly and gave him a little wave before returning her attention back to the ceremony and her husband who gave her a sweet smile.

charles never realised until now that madaline had well and truly slipped through his fingers and it no longer bothered him because it wasn't like she'd never return ever again.

fin

this was so much fun to write for a third time! anyway, i love this one-shot so much that i'm going to do like a part two that follows the reception part of madaline and noah's wedding and have it include the best man speech and all that jazz. it may also follow an abba song or something but i don't know yet but do keep your eyes peeled as it will be a good one.

©⠀amberjazmyn's original work. do not translate or steal any of my fics. 2024

#formula one #charles leclerc x sister reader #fluff #weddings #happy tears #f1 grid x platonic fem!leclerc reader #no trigger warnings

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getosprettyboy · 7 months ago

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Let Me Into Your Heart

Pairing : Remus Lupin x reader

Tags : nothing but fluff, drunk guy tries to get handsy.

Summary : Remus has been ignoring you for a while and you are going to find out why.

A/N : Sorry I deleted this, it didn't feel cute enough.

Dividers by cafekitsune.

It’s been 3 weeks and Remus has been ignoring you with all his might. It is extremely frustrating for you to deal with him like this.

First, it started with him not replying to you back a greeting you sent towards him. Then he would sit far away from you in the great hall and now whenever he sees you he runs towards the other direction. When you try to confront him he comes up with an excuse of how he is late for a class or something.

So you started sending him letters, and he replied to none of them. It was infuriating.

You almost gave up on him but then you remembered the memorable and fun times with him and how much you loved those moments together.

Like that one time in the common room…

❦

It was just the two of you in the common room with a vinyl record player playing some David Bowie songs to which you would occasionally bob your head while tracing the scars on his arms.

Suddenly you looked at Remus. The way his face would shine from the fire and how beautiful his scars looked on him. He isn’t fond of his scars and hates them but you think his scars form a beautiful pattern like constellations.

Remus saw you looking at him and spoke, careful not to break the peaceful atmosphere.

“What?”

“You have a pretty face Lupin.”

Remus flushed at your compliment and tried hiding his blush by deflecting the compliment.

“There is nothing really special about it.”

“There is. You have scars which I could trace to form constellations on and eyes as deep as the ocean and I fear if I look too deep into your eyes I might drown in them and might never be able to come back for air and that will be fine because I would rather die in those pools of water then never see your face again.

Remus just looked at you lovingly and asked, “Why do you like my scars so much?”

“Because they are a part of you and I love each and every single part of you Remus, even the ones you would call ugly. I will love them forever and always.”

“You’re acting like you’re in love with me,” Remus said half-jokingly.

“Maybe I am.”

Remus choked on the air with wide eyes.

“I’m joking silly,” You said as you lightly shoved him.

Remus nervously chuckled. It’s not like he is in love with you.

“Are you in love with me?” You asked with mischief glinting in your eyes.

“Who would fall in love with you?” Remus retorted.

“Oh my gosh, Remus, Shut up!” You said as you punched him in the arm.

“Ow.”

“It was well deserved.”

“Indeed.”

You both laughed at each other's antics when suddenly you stood up.

“Oh my gosh! Remus, Starman!!!”

Remus listened to the music carefully and you were right Starman by David Bowie was playing on the vinyl player.

You increased the volume and started singing the lyrics.

There’s a Starman

waiting in the sky

He’d like to come and meet us but he thinks he’d blow our minds

There’s a Starman

waiting in the sky

He’s told us not to blow it cus he knows it’s all worthwhile he told me

Let the children lose it

Let the children use it

Let all the children boogie

You stretched out your hand towards him and asked, “Remus John Lupin, may I please have this dance with you?”

“No.”

“Oh, come on now,” You whined.

“I don’t dance.”

“Oh yes, you do!”

You pulled him up and held both of his hands and swayed to the music.

Don't tell your poppa or he’ll get us locked up in fright

There’s a Starman

waiting in the sky

He’d like to come and meet us but he thinks he’d blow our minds

There’s a Starman

waiting in the sky

He’s told us not to blow it cus he knows it’s all worthwhile he told me

You both screamed the song at the top of your lungs. You both had never felt more alive.

❦

That was your favourite memory with him, unfortunately, that was the last conversation you had with him because, from the next day forwards, he ignored you and didn’t even give you a reason for it.

You have been trying to talk to him but he wouldn’t listen to you.

A few days later your birthday arrived and you were a pretty popular person because of your good looks and good grades. You were also very nice so people liked you and knew you. So it was no surprise when more than the people you invited came to your birthday party. Even Remus came. You did give him an invite through James but you didn’t think he would actually show up.

You were greeting your multitude of guests when you saw Remus approaching you.

“Happy birthday Y/N,” Remus said handing you your gift.

“Thank you, Remus, how are you?” You asked.

“I’m good, you?”

“I’m great."

"Are you sure because you haven’t been talking to-”

“I think I heard Sirius calling me, I gotta go bye.” He quickly said running away from you.

You saw him rushing into the crowd of people to get away from you and it hurt to know that he didn’t want to be in our company.

“Enjoy the party.” You murmured with a frown.

❦

Remus pushed towards the crowd of people and saw Sirius flirting with a girl with long brown hair but suddenly a girl came out of nowhere and started shouting at them. The angry asked Sirius something to which Sirius with wide eyes shook his head and she took the other girl’s arm and dragged her off somewhere.

Remus then approached Sirius.

“What was that all about?” Remus asked.

“The angry girl was the girl’s girlfriend,” Sirius replied.

“You really are a homewrecker.”

“I didn’t know!!! What about you?!”

“What about me?”

“Did you tell Y/N how you feel about her?”

“What are you talking about.”

“Moony, I see how you look at her, in fact, we all do.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Oh my- Just take this.” He hands Remus a shot of fire whiskey. “And don’t come back until you confess to her.”

Remus looked at him dully.

“Come on, Moony you can do it.”

“Fine.” Remus drank the shot and walked to where he last saw you.

He wasn’t actually going to confess to you, he was going back to his room and was going to read a nice book and go to sleep. If he wanted to confess to you he would’ve probably done it at the beginning of the semester but the fear of rejection took over. That’s why he has been ignoring you. He thinks if he stays away from you for a while he will lose feeling for you, which is unfortunately not working.

As he was heading to the boy's dormitory he saw a guy leaning on you a little too close while you were looking uncomfortable. His hand was slowly snaking around your waist as he got closer. You put a hand between your faces and said no but the guy wouldn't budge and kept getting close to you.

Remus saw red. He walked long paces towards you both and as you saw him relief washed over you.

“Hey, hands off her,” Remus said as he pushed the guy extra hard just so he could come to his senses. He looked very drunk and could barely stand up.

“Move. I and the pretty lady were having a conversation over here.” He slurred his words together.

“I don’t think so. So I’ll ask you politely, kindly fuck off."

Remus took your arm and led you to a more secluded place with the music echoing through the walls.

You sat down on the floor with your hands hugging your knees with later Remus following you and sitting beside you.

“Are you ok?” Remus asked.

“Why do you suddenly care?” You asked back.

“I've always cared for you Y/N,” Remus replied.

“Then why have you been ignoring me?” You retorted.

“I have my reasons.”

“What are they?’

“I can't tell you that.”

“Remus please tell me I want to know if you still even want to be my friend!”

“I do want to be your friend, I really do.”

“Then what is it? you won't talk to me, you won't reply to my letters what is it just tell me!”

“I-”

“Just spit it out!!”

“Because I like you. I really really like you.”

Silence.

He shouldn’t have said it. Remus really shouldn’t have said it. It was all Sirius’ fault for giving him the liquid courage and making him confess to you. Oh how he hated himself right now, now all he did was wait for you to laugh and make fun of him.

“Are you kidding me?! Are you stupid or something? why didn't you tell me?”

“So I wouldn't get rejected,” Remus replied quietly.

“Are you dense or something you fucking idiot?!”

“If you do not like me just tell me why you have to yell?” Remus replied a bit annoyed by your tone.

“I like you too you daft giraffe.”

“That's new, wait what?” Remus looked at you surprised.

“I've been giving you hints since the start of the semester. I've been flirting with you, I’ve been gifting you stuff, I've been sitting next to you at every chance I got I even shared my goddamn food with you!”

“I thought you were being friendly.”

“You bloody twat.” You shouted at him as you hit him on his arm.

“Ow.”

“It was well deserved.”

"Indeed."

“So.. you wanna kiss,” Remus asked with a warm smile on his face.

“Is that really a question?"

You grabbed his collar and pulled him in for the kiss. It was a sweet and sensual kiss with no hurry in it. You both savoured the kiss like it was your last. As soon as you both pulled away from the kiss, you laughed at him.

“What?” He asked smiling at you.

“You’re really dumb you know that.”

“That’s why you love me.”

“Oh, shut up.”

#remus john lupin #remus x you #remus lupin #remus lupin blurb #remus lupin fanfiction #remus lupin fluff #remus lupin imagine #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin x y/n #remus lupin x you #remus x reader #marauders

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everysongineverykey · 2 years ago

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literally who is doing it like raeda. middle aged chronically ill disabled bi woman who is public enemy number one and has her wanted poster proudly hung up on her wall x neurotic yet brave and hardworking middle aged nonbinary bard with stage fright and they loved each other so much when they dated as young adults but it was a case of right person, wrong time and only now can they begin to pick up the pieces of a broken relationship left to rot. like i don't think you understand it's about "see? you'd be a mess without me" and it's about "why didn't you tell me about all this?" "is it so unbelievable that i wanted to keep you safe?" and it's about "i promised a special kid i'd protect you" and it's about "go! you know i hate an audience." and it's about "no. i told you before, i'm not putting her in danger again / i'll keep you safe, eda. i promise." and it's about "every year, it's just the same old faces..." "until widdle old me? :3" and it's about "i just like visiting raine" and it's about ripping off your beloved's arm so the rot doesn't kill her and it's about resigning yourself to die in her arms while the moon shines darkly above and it's about swallowing thirty years of fear of rejection and letting your beloved finally see the monster in you and seeing them look at that monster like it's the most beautiful thing they've ever seen and it's about watching her fly away as your song plays in the background and it's about beautiful dates and heartwrenching breakups on the same field of flowers and it's about being silly little geese together and it's about love after leaving and it's about unwittingly introducing her to apple blood, her favorite drink, by chance in high school and it's about keeping the guitar they gave you for thirty years despite everything. that's what it's ABOUT.

#the owl house #the owl house raeda #eda clawthorne #raine whispers

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call-sign-shark · 1 year ago

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Heaven in Your Eyes || Arthur Shelby x Reader!OC

Summary: Disobeying Tommy's orders, you're back in Small Heath. Your rebellious attitude starts to really bother him but you don't care. All that matters is that you're reunited with Arthur and John, the two men of your lives. From then, nothing can go wrong. Nothing, right? -- Featuring John Shelby x Reader.

Words: 5.5k

TW: Extreme angst - read at your own risk, graphic depiction of violence, canonical violence, graphic depiction of murder, major character death, allusions to self-harm.

Notes:

✞ Theme song on repeat if you want to break your heart: HERE

✞ Quotes from the TV Shows are in bold and italics

✞ Heaven is OP's original character but written with the use of « you » (Moodboard here).

PREVIOUS || Masterlist || NEXT CHAPTER

The deafening howl of the train’s honk boomed in Small Heath’s station, quickly followed by a whistling sound. The steel giant had barely opened its heavy doors when the foul-smelling wind of the city rushed into the wagon and made you wrinkle your nose in disgust. It was not that you hated Small Heath strictly speaking, but the stark contrast between the industrial city and the green landscape of the forest in which you lived now was difficult to process. The sound of your stiletto soon clicked on the metallic steps as you got off the train, attracting people’s eyes to your tiny frame. Yet, you weren’t really sure if this sudden attention came from their sound, or rather the sight of your short black dress adorned with the most expensive white fur coat you had ever owned, and the gold choker necklace you wore, whose shape was one of a barbed wire wrapped around your neck. When your heels found the dirty concrete of the platform, a gargantuan hundred pounds Cane Corso with a spiked collar followed you closely, like a silent but off-putting bodyguard. He was your shadow, mimicking each of your movements and grazing your steps, except if told otherwise. Loyal guardian, Kaiser was even more protective since Arthur left. Without minding the fascinated or curious stares that were looking at you, you walked out of the station with the dog’s leash in one of your small hands and a cigarette in the other.

“Mrs. Shelby? Here is your bag.” A man told you, all the while putting the said luggage at your feet.

“Thanks, sir.” You replied with a brief polite smile, before stubbing your cigarette on the nearest wall and throwing it away. At first, you had been surprised by the care the staff provided you during the whole trip until you saw the glow of fear in their eyes as soon as they noticed your family name on the ticket. She’s Arthur Shelby’s wife, you better be ready to help her with her stuff if you don’t want her husband to knock at your door and break your skull. That was what the ticket inspector told one of his colleagues when he met him in another wagon a few minutes after this frightful discovery. Waiting in front of the train station with a slight feeling of uneasiness, you swept your surrounding with your celeste blue eyes, whose coldness equaled the freezing English wind. Looking around you in the hope of catching sight of a cab, your fingers absentmindedly brushed the almost imperceptible white burn scar on your wrist. The circle-shaped wound the cigarette had left on your skin had miraculously healed in a matter of days.

“Welcome home, little Angel.” A familiar voice echoed right behind you. You turned around in one swift movement, and your freezing gaze turned into a child-like expression: John’s smile welcomed you, its charms so blinding that it made you momentarily forget about the dreadful feeling you carried in your soul.

“John!” You exclaimed, unable to hold your joy any longer. Kaiser’s bark followed right after when he recognized who the man was. Without further ado, you rushed into him to pull him in a hug. Amused, John could not help but chuckle at such a vivid reaction before wrapping your body with his muscular arms and tightening his grip around you with the firm desire not to let you go, “What are you doing here?” You asked, looking at him. Your enlightened expression adorned your doll face and made your hypnotizing eyes shine with elation.

“That ain’t the right question, love. What are you doing here?” He teased you, raising one of his eyebrows, then stared right at your eyes. His tongue pushed the toothpick that was in his mouth from the right corner to the left before he went on, “When Arthur got your letter he told me about your arrival in Birmingham. Hell, he was so happy and terrified at the same time I thought that bastard was having an aneurysm. I’m the one who came at the train station ‘cause Arthur still has to make a few last-minute adjustments to welcome you here.” As he talked, the young Shelby brother had freed one of his hands from your delicate body to pat the big Cane Corso’s head. The latter closed his eyes, mouth wide open and tongue hanging in bliss.

“A few adjustments?” You frowned.

“Like, threatening all the men of Small Heath not to even look at you, and dealing with Tommy’s reaction. He’s fuckin’ mad at you, eh.”

Of course, he was — you could not expect less from Thomas Shelby. God, you barely arrived in town he already found a way to bother you, even if he was not here. At this stage, he had real talent. “You know what? Fuck Tommy. If he thought I’d be dumb enough to stay out of the plan while my husband and you risk your lives, well it’s his problem, not mine. And if Changretta’s men come to my door, I’ll put them in the dirt myself.” That being said, you waved off the topic, “But let’s not talk about Tommy, please” You concluded, then laid a soft kiss on his chin. As your juicy lips crashed against his skin, John half-closed his eyelids and let out a soft exhale from his nostrils.

“Yeah, I bet you will,” He stated, referring to you possibly burying Changretta’s henchmen six feet deep. John enjoyed the physical contact for a few extra seconds, then he gently parted from you and closed his fingers around your wrist in a soft grip. You raised your gaze to him, surprised.

“Wait a minute. I just wanna check something before you get in my car.” His smile vanished, handing over to a very serious expression that kind of unsettled you.

“What‘s the problem?” Your smile followed his somewhere else. You didn’t know where, but what was sure was that it had left your face.

Without the slightest warning, John raised your arm above your head and made you twirl one first time, “Would you look at you, little angel! What a stunning outfit!” He exclaimed, before spinning you again to admire your otherworldly beauty, “Oh my God, I’m in love. Last time we met you were barefoot in the grass like some kind of ethereal nymphet and here you come in the shape of a goddess, dressed like a queen?” You suddenly chuckled at his unexpected reaction.

“Hey fuck you! You’ve scared me!” You nudged him in the ribs with your free arm, but it only made him laugh louder.

“My little heart can’t resist that.” He winked at you, his grin stretching in an adorably annoying smile only he could do before making you twirl again. Sometimes, you wondered if Tommy and he were really brothers. He is so different from Arthur and John. You thought.

“John! Shut up, dumbass. Your little heart can’t resist girls in general — or more like your cock can’t resist girls.” You rolled your eyes, faking an annoyed pout which only resulted in John protectively wrapping your shoulders with one arm.

“That’s my mean angel! Fuck I’ve missed you and your quick wit so bad. C’mon!” He said, grabbing your bag with his free hand before you started walking away. Kaiser ran and hopped inside the car a few seconds before you did.

The whole trip went well, casual conversations and joking with John had managed to alleviate the anger in your heart, which was far too focused on the driver’s joyful voice and stunning eyes. He talked to you about the kids, about his new house, and about some childhood stories. Surprisingly enough, each of his sentences had snatched a smirk from you despite the anxious situation in which the Shelbys were embedded. Nevertheless, your mind drifted away at some point and you stopped listening to him though. Not that he bothered you, but it was rather due to the fact that you lost yourself in the contemplation of the smallest details of his face. The adorable freckles, his little round ears, his pinchable cheeks… Everything about John Shelby made you feel at home.

“Is that fine with you?” His voice suddenly popped your thoughts bubble.

“Hm?”

“I was saying that you’re going to live a few days at me house just the time for Arthur to secure Watery Lane properly. You’ll spend Christmas with me, Esme, and the kids.” He repeated, noticing he had been talking to himself for a little while.

“Ah,” You started, batting your Bambi lashes quickly to chase away your daydreams. That was all you could say, for you dive into your thoughts right again. A comforting silence fell between you. After a little while, John slightly bit the inner of his cheek and glanced at you. The truth was he had been hesitating on his next move for five solid minutes. No matter how goofy John Shelby could act, he was a sharp observant. Considering his ease at analyzing people, he naturally noticed the way your fingers nervously played with the fabric of your dress, indicating your inner turmoil. The young gangster slowly moved his hand towards you, still conflicted about what he was about to do — Was it appropriate? Were you going to slap him? He hoped not, for he didn’t want to crash the car on the side of the road and explain the reason behind the accident to Esme. But worst than facing his wife’s wrath was to offend you.

No, no he wouldn’t want you to hate him. Yet, John was not the kind of man to let the demons of his mind win. Acting first, and thinking after was a motto he often applied in real life. He briefly looked at you again, his sky-blue eyes meeting your aquamarine iris before they shifted their focus back on the road. The young Shelby brother finally gathered his courage and rested his warm and strong hand on your thighs.

“Hey. Are you okay? You didn’t tell me what you think about living at me house.”

“Oh yeah,” You slightly shook your head, “That’s fine with me John boy.” You finally said, punctuating your sentence by gently covering his hand with yours and, to his greatest surprise, your small and cold fingers clenched around him. The physical contact almost immediately sent a wave of comforting warmth into your soul. John’s lips stretched in a caring smile and he replied to your sweet gesture by turning his hand to intertwine your fingers together.

That was definitely fine with you, for you knew that as long as John was around, there was no place for the storm.

Only for the sun.

A sun as bright as his smile.

“Get the fuck off my way.” Arthur’s gruff voice thundered in the hallway, followed by a noisy thud and Michael’s flourishing insults.

“Piss off, Arthur!”

The tall gangster had been so eager to rejoin his sweet angel after two awful weeks of loneliness that he had shoved Michael right into the nearest wall for the sole reason that he had been walking too slowly for Arthur’s tastes. All the while walking through the corridor, he had thrown his beret out of frustration and had brought his hands in his hair to nervously slick them back. He busted into the living room and his shiny steel blue eyes, sparkling with a gleam of hope, searched for you.

“Hey, Arthur.” When your soft voice swirled in the room and reached his ear with the tone of a mesmeric siren’s chant, goosebumps of excitation appeared on Arthur’s skin. Moving your body with a wildcat’s grace from the sofa, you stood up and looked at your husband with an adorably shy smile, like a young bride seeing her groom for the very first time. All the confidence you’ve felt kinda disappeared now that you were standing in front of him — would he be happy to see you? Or did you deceive him by disobeying and coming back to town despite Changretta’s men lurking in the shadow? You hadn’t the time to think about the matter though for Arthur rushed to you without waiting any longer and, with an uncontrolled strength enhanced by the power of his overflowing emotions, hugged your little frame. The gangster then lifted you from the ground, causing a cry of surprise to break free from your plumped and glossy lips.

“Bloody Hell, angel! I’ve told ye to stay safe at home!”

He said, putting you back on the ground right before cupping your face with his large, warm, and calloused hands, before you could even react, “I’ve told ye it was too fookin’ dangerous here! What if Changretta and his men would have attacked you on the train eh?!” He exclaimed, a bit more aggressively than intended. At first, you opened your mouth to reply but no sound came out. The sight of his pained eyes and his worried expression suddenly made you feel a bit guilty: if there was one thing you hated it was being the cause of his worries. “Hmm?!” He insisted when faced with your silence. His piercing blue iris dived into yours, looking in their celestial frost for the answer your mouth could not produce.

“I— I don’t care. If you’re in trouble then I am too. If you fight, I fight. If you die, then I fucking die. We’re one, and I’m sick of acting like the good frail wife waiting for her husband to come back from the war,” You started, shaking yourself out of your silence; and the more you spoke, the more your confidence came back, backfiring, “I don’t care about the danger, Arthur.” A desperate smile stretched the corner of your lips, making your eyes squint a little bit. A smile both tainted with sadness and mad love, “The first time we met I’ve made the promise that you’ll never face Hell alone ever again and I don’t plan to back up now that we’re at its gates.”

“Yer fookin’ crazy, I swear you are.” He replied. His eyes shone with dawning tears as he observed your holy pulchritude, “Out of yer goddamn mind, Heaven Shelby… Fookin’ bonkers.” His face relaxed, anger swept away by the winter breeze that had rushed into the living room through the open window. Arthur finally let out a nervous yet endeared little chuckle and shook his head in disbelief, "You're so much trouble eh."

“I’ve learned from you.” You straight off replied, gently pressing your forehead against his in this intimate gesture that was so proper to him. Yet, he didn’t reply right away, still shaken by your fierceness — these last two weeks had almost made him forget how untamable you were. He wanted to scold you for behaving in such a reckless way — He really did. But the truth was big bad Arthur Shelby couldn’t resist you. And God knew how hard it was to function without your heavenly and reassuring presence. If he had to be honest, he would admit that he wasn’t sure he could do it without you anymore. He was consumed by his love for you, body and soul.

A little sigh escaped from his lips as his boiling worries slowly faded away, drowning himself in the little details of your face. With trembling fingers, Arthur grazed your snow-white hair. Fuck, he had missed you bad. Very bad. To the extent of drinking himself to sleep almost every night and lashing out at the boxing ring, mercilessly beating his opponents, for these were the only ways he had found not to slip into pure insanity.

“Angel —“ He started, wanting to say so many things at once, but words choked in his throat. Closing his mouth, Arthur swallowed and his Adam’s apple bobbed as he did. The joy of having you there was so intense that his mind could not find something relevant to say: he wanted to talk about Tommy, about the letter he had sent you, about the Changrettas but nothing mattered anymore. What did though was you and him. That was why he finally gave up everything to hug your frame again, his spine bent so that he could bury his face in your small breasts. “I promise I’ll protect ye with me whole life, Angel. No one’s gonna hurt ye. Not on me watch.” He finally mumbled, the sound of his words muffled against the soft pale skin your cleavage exposed, thus turning his plead into more of a symphony of low grunts than anything else.

“I’m here, darling.” You reassured him. Arthur squeezed your body a bit too painfully in reply, but you didn’t mind. The uncomfortable pressure of his brutal grip chased your worries away and made your whole soul flicker — It made you feel so tiny, so fragile, as no other men did before, and you genuinely liked it. So, he could break you in half with his hug if he wanted, you would be okay if it was the price to pay to keep feeling his possessive and aggressive love all around you.

With the desire to soothe his heated spirit and confusing thoughts that were bumping into each other in his confused head, you let your small fingers lose themselves in his messy hair. Your gesture brought immediate relief, whose warm sensation spread in his bones at the contact with your frozen skin. Arthur’s whole being gradually relaxed, and he could finally let out the pressure of these last two weeks. All of sudden, you felt salty and wet drops running down your chest, “I’ve fookin’ missed ye.” He lamented, his crystal tears dying in your cleavage. Parting from you was the worst idea ever, he thought, and he didn’t want to experience it ever again.

“I’ve missed you too.” You said in a whisper. Ceasing to caress his hair, you put your hand on the back of his head and pressed his face a bit more against your bosom, keeping him still until his grip finally loosen around you and his tears run dry. Now that the storm of emotions was slowly calming down, Arthur sniffed one last time and raised his head, his lips reaching for yours. The press of his kiss, eager and hungry, dissipated the last couple of clouds of his troubled mind the moment your flesh reunited. Weakened by his scorching passion, your legs shook at the sweet and liquored taste of whisky on your tongue, while his strong hands explored you just as if the tall gangster wanted to make sure you were really here. To make sure he was not dreaming. His hands grabbed you, rubbed the sides of your thighs, ran up the curves of your ass, and then clenched on your shoulder blades for a short while before going down again to seize your waist in a bruising movement. You squeezed your eyes tighter, shaken to the core by the way his fingers left streams of fire in their trail, melting the ice that had settled under your skin the night he had left the house without you. Arthur deepened the kiss, almost leaving you breathless.

After an undefinable while during which you both lost the notion of time, his tongue gave yours one last stroke before he finally broke the kiss and reopened his eyes. Yes… You were still there — to his greatest relief. You let out a faint feverish sigh, the sensation of his kiss still tingling on your swollen lips, then you tilted your head to the side. Betrothed by your adorable pout, Arthur’s smile widened until the crow feet at the corner of his eyes appears.

“Look at you. You’re fookin’ stunning, little one.” He laid his big hand on your cheek and you gently rubbed it against his palm in reply.

“What about you tell me what you're up to instead of treating me like a little girl, Mr Shelby?” You teased, your reunion definitely erasing the worries out of your brain, even if the threat section D had sent you still lingered at the back of your mind.

“Listen,” He started, his thumb brushing your lips with utter desire but he tried not to get too distracted by them, “John should have already told ye but you’re going to stay here ‘til Christmas hm? The house isn’t safe yet and you’ll be safer with Esme and the kids. Also, John will stick around to protect you. Just until Christmas right?”

“What about you?” You retorted, furrowing your brows.

“As for me Tommy and I will figure out what to do. But don’t ye worry… " He brought his face closer, his mouth reaching your ear, "Each night I’ll be back in your arms and I’ll show ye how bad I’ve missed you.” He whispered, his low voice alike the growl of a starving wolf, “I'm a little afraid ye’ forgot what’s like to feel your husband, hmm.” A little amused snort came from your nostrils at the delightful perspectives. For sure, Arthur’s way to make up for the last two weeks of loneliness you’ve both been through was particularly exciting.

“You think so? Little evil me is not so sure if she prefers Kaiser’s presence next to her in bed rather than yours. ”

“We’ll see, love.” He was about to kiss you a second time to shut your bratty mouth when Esme appeared at the doorframe, arms crossed in her chest and one brow raised.

“There are kids there.” She reminded, her voice cold and slightly bothered. Of course, she wasn’t enchanted by your stay here, but it has been two years since you joined the Shelby family, which had given her all the time needed to tame her hostility toward you. Your relationship was still rocky, but at least she had stopped insulting you on every occasion.

“Oops, sorry Esme.” You replied with the biggest and most charming smile you could do before taking a step back from your husband to help him —and you— resist the temptation of giving in to your burning desires. Arthur could not help but chuckle at the comment. He slipped his hands into the pocket of his long black coat, coming to the conclusion that it was safer if they stayed there.

“Alright, no need to bark Esme.” He grunted, but the sincerity of his grumpiness was definitely undermined by the faint smirk etched on his lips.

“I’ve made tea.” Esme went on, her magnificent brown eyes going from Arthur to you several times. Their dark color struck you for one second for their hard beauty reminded you of autumn leaves spinning in the immensity of her iris. You did not hate her. You never did. As harsh as her behavior had been, you had come to understand that her reactions were dictated by fear rather than spite. As a very catholic person, Esme was more than terrified by evil spirits — and she ultimately thought you were one, not seeing the enamored twenty-five-year-old girl you were, but the evil witch you could be. You could not blame her though, for she wasn’t entirely wrong. Somehow, you were convinced that Esme was the only one of the family who truly understood your dormant dangerous nature. What she did not grasp though was the sincerity of your feelings, “Hurry up.” She said, turning around and returning to the kitchen.

“Come on,” You gently wrapped your arms around your husband, “Kaiser is waiting in the kitchen. He’s going to be so happy!”

“Ah right, let’s see the man who took me place in bed.”

Arthur had barely stepped into the room when you heard the dog’s frantic barks, soon followed by his muscular body running toward his master to greet him with great enthusiasm. The sight of Kaiser almost reaching Arthur’s height, with his two front paws on his shoulders, filled you with joy.

It was at this very moment that you were almost convinced that nothing could go wrong.

The calm of the forest was a type of peacefulness nothing else could outmatch. All that was lacking from this grandiose landscape was the mighty shadow of the old and wise mountains of Haute-Falaise, whose silent lullaby could only be heard by those who paid close attention to it. From where you came, Christmas was always synonymous with snow along with the cold sensation of frosty wind biting at your face. Each time you would come back home after a joyful moment of playing games outside with your little sister, the warmth of the hearth’s fire would welcome you. But this Christmas, like many others since you left France, there was no snow. No mountains. And no little sister anymore. You were alone in the forest, wandering among the dead trees and the howling breeze.

Katie had woken up with a light fever, and she had cried in her father’s arms for twenty strong minutes before he managed to hush down her sorrow. Following a quick discussion with John, you informed him that you knew a natural remedy against fever and then, you went in the forest to collect the few plants you needed to concoct a healing tea. Esme would have naturally disagreed with the idea if John had told her, which hadn’t been the case. Instead, you simply replied that you needed some fresh air when she asked you why you were venturing outside the house on Christmas morning.

Oh, fuck it's you. Got nothing better to do on Christmas morning? // Tommy wants everybody at Charlie's Yard now, come on.

You’ve been wandering for over one hour when you finally found all the plants you needed for Katie’s tea. Satisfied, you headed back home with a light heart, already thinking about the pleasant breakfast that was waiting for you. A small grin flattered your lips at the thought of the children tearing their gifts’ paper apart and screaming with awe at the discovery of their new toys.

What's gonna happen man, it's fucking Christmas.

Moreover, you could not wait for the adults to open their gifts too. Even if Ada told everyone to focus on the kids, you could not help but buy a little something for the house’s hosts: a beautiful silver necklace with a protective crystal pendant for Esme, and an expensive ring for John inside which was engraved the sentence “Le soleil brûle dans ton sourire” which meant "The sun burns in your smile".

John. John, come to the meeting. All right? Think about the kids. Come to the meeting and if you want to leave, then fine.

For sure you could not wait to see their surprised expression slowly shifting to joy the moment you would give them their gifts! A little smile flattered your lips at such adorable thought. In truth, you had stopped celebrating Christmas for so long that the perspective to do it today delighted you. It was going to be a wonderful, wonderful day.

Get in the fuckin' house!

The petrifying detonations of gunshots tore the forest’s silence apart, which caused a cloud of afraid birds to erupt from the trees’ thick foliage. One shot, the surprise made you wonder if you had really heard that or if it was just the traumatizing memories of men chasing you down in the forest that was playing with your mind. Two shots, you turned towards where the noise was coming from, realizing it was real. Three shots — they stirred a brutal pain in your chest. A pain so vivid your fingers loosened their grips on the plants, letting them go, and grabbed the place where your heart was. It was drumming so hard in your chest that you felt it was about to burst your ribcage open. Crushed by the unexplainable ache and a crawling feeling of anxiety, you leaned against a tree not to collapse on the muddy soil. Your throat felt tight, to the extent you could barely breathe anymore. With eyes wide open, you desperately tried to calm yourself and comprehend what was happening to you. And suddenly the macabre evidence of the whole situation hit you like a train — a suffocating panic seized you again as you realized that the gunshots were not coming from hunters in the forest but from John's house.

No.

Your body moved slowly from the tree, taking a few wobbly steps.

“No!” Your voice yelled but no one was there to hear your desperate cry except the pristine nature, which had sent the wind to howl in pain with you. A surge of adrenaline ran through your body and, as if you had received the fiercest whiplash ever, you started running to the house as fast as you could. You ran faster and faster, with the cold breeze biting your face and brambles clawing at your exposed skin as you rushed past thick bushes. That was all you could do anyway for every other function of your being had shut down to focus only on your restless race. You could not think straight anymore. You could not hear anything else than the brutal beating of your heart resonating in your skull. Gosh, you couldn't even see properly, your vision narrowed into a small point in the horizon that was John's house. So you just ran, you ran no matter the insufferable burn in your lungs and the soreness of your legs.

"Hey! Come back, little doe". You could almost hear them behind you. The cruel men who hunted little thirteen years old you in the dark woods of Haute-Falaise. "We’re not gonna hurt you! Fuck — where’s that little slut?!"

Moving away the last branches aside, you jumped above a thick root and broke the last meters that separated you from the house. That was when you heard it, the agonizing scream of Esme. Her voice, filled with pain and fear, almost pierced your eardrums like the wailing lament of a Banshee. You reached the front of the house and suddenly, your legs made an abrupt stop, refusing to move anymore. In front of your wide-opened eyes, from which tears were already leaking, laid the inanimate body of both Michael and John in a crimson puddle of their own blood.

"John! Oh my God, John! No!" Esme yelled, her face contorting with indescribable sorrow and insufferable ache. She was kneeling on the pavement and hugging the motionless frame of her husband, whose skin already faded two shades paler. The young Romani beauty shook him but John's eyes remained shut. At first, you wanted to scream along with her, giving in to panic, but no sound came from your mouth. Instead, you let your quivering body drop to its knees and immediately put the moist palms of your hands on your best friend's wounded chest — The numerous bullet holes had made flowers of blood blossom on the white fabric of his shirt.

You took a deep breath, threw your head back, and closed your eyes in a desperate attempt to channel all the magic that was running in your blood to save him. After all, you had witnessed your mother performing similar miracles in your childhood. All you needed to save him was a faint beating of his heart, even the weakest would do the trick. Thus, you focused on your task the best you could and drained yourself of most of your energy in the hope of seeing John reopening his magnificent blue eyes and offering you one of his beaming smiles. You were pretty sure that he would come back to life, just like the bird you had found in the garden two years ago. Yes, you were going to bring him back to life, and this awful nightmare would be over and you would all have a good fairy tale ending.

— But life wasn't like the tales you loved: his heart had stopped beating for too long for you to do anything. It had been only a matter of minutes but still, you came too late.

You came too late.

When you understood it, a river of tears streamed down your angelic face. One of your hands gently moved up to his throat, and you pressed two fingers on his carotid artery to check his pulse in a desperate and last attempt to feel something, but there was nothing. Only the dull silence of Death. You slowly backed off and looked at the surprisingly peaceful expression on his face, forever frozen by the Reaper's cold kiss.

John was gone.

And so was the sun.

✞ A little note now that you've finished this chapter: Heaven did not ignore poor Michael by the way. When walking past him she noticed that his wound was not as serious as John's, so she decided to check him after checking John.

✞ Any comment, review, reblog, or constructive criticism is welcome. Your reactions really motivate me and keep me alive, so please don't be shy. English is not my first language.

✞ gif by the amazing @fkmylif3

✞ Tag list: @adaydreamaway08 @theshelbyclan @jomarch-wannabe @esposadomd @zablife @woofgocows @anathemasworld @anastasia000 @kate654 @kxnnxy @babayaga67 @meowtastick @shelbyssins @sarai-ibn-la-ahad @bluevenus19 @raincoffeeandfandoms @kishie8 @zablife @brummiereader @alexandra-001 @dearshelby

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thebisexualdogdad · 1 year ago

Note

Would do you a spider- reader X spider Gwen? Like how they met and kinda just how they got together?

*I haven't seen the new movie yet this is slightly comics based*

Gwen Stacy x GN!reader

● you met Gwen after being pulled from your universe and into earth-1610

● you fell for her hard and even kissed but thought it would be too difficult to date across the multiverse

● so you stayed just friends

● when she returned to Earth-65 and you to your own Earth you kept in touch

● visiting each other every chance you got

● you quickly bonded over both your love of music

● you go see her play the drums in her band all the time

● you've written so many songs together some of which the Mary Janes play

● speaking of, Mary Jane hits on you a lot at the shows

● "what? If Gwen isn't going to date them why can't I?"

● Betty "because Gwen and Y/N are perfect for each other and eventually they will figure that out"

● Gwen tries so hard to get you to do an open mic night with your guitar

● "I don't know Gwen, I can't play in front of people"

● "I used to have stage fright too but look at me now! Seriously Y/N you'd be so amazing"

● "I'll think about it"

● "that's not a no, I'll take it!"

● when her pink hair starts to fade she asks for your help in re-dyeing it

● she also surprises you with a tube of red hair dye that matches your own spider suit

● her dad comes home from work to pink and red dye all over the bathroom

● it's also the first time you happen to meet her dad

● "what did you two do? It's like a crime scene in here"

● Gwen "sorry dad… this is Y/N by the way they're from Earth-732"

● "do you have any friends that aren't spider-people??"

● you hang out a lot with Miles too

● always crossing over into each other's earth's to fight bad guys

● it's fun seeing how different your enemies are in other universes

● Gwen "wait that's your Bodega bandit?? And he's actually cool?? Mine can't even get away with stealing a hot dog that costs a dollar"

● or "Wait you guys don't have a Lorenzo's here?? But he makes the best pizza in New York!"

● Miles is always bugging you about when you're finally going to ask Gwen out

● "dating across different dimensions is a whole new meaning to the term long distance"

● "come on Y/N, it's Gwen, isn't she worth at least trying?"

● "I hate it when you're right"

● you finally sign up for an open mic night on your earth

● and Gwen is so excited

● she's standing in the crowd cheering you on

● and you play a song you wrote confessing your feelings for her

● you're looking at her the entire song and it's like you're the only two in the room

● after your set she finds you backstage

● "was that song about me?"

● "who else would it be about? Miles? He's cute but not really my type"

● "very funny so are you going to ask me out or not?"

● "Gwen Stacy would you like to go on a date with me?"

● "I'd love to"

#marvel imagine #gwen stacy imagine #gwen stacy x reader #spider gwen imagine #x gender neutral reader #headcanons

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crow97street · 4 months ago

Text

─── ⋆⋅blurry face⋅⋆ ───

synopsis ✦‧₊˚ chan struggles with intense feelings and undiagnosed issues and resorts to the only thing that brings him relief

warning/tags ✦‧₊˚ self-harm, self deprecating thoughts, hints? of self hatred, lots of overwhelming feelings, college au, changbin is chans best friend, channie loves bin <3, hurt/no comfort (sorry…)

notes ✦‧₊˚ sorry guys feeling emo this is just a short fic i wrote cos i struggle w sh, and again, this isn’t something to fantasize about or to hope chan does any of this, simply just me projecting onto people/characters i love because i don’t enjoy writing about myself :)

word count ✦‧₊˚ 1,336

song rec for this ;)

⋆ ̊。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ̊。⋆

One exhale. Two exhales. Three. Four? Chan’s lost count, everything is starting to blur together in a jumble of colors and sounds. Where is he? Why is it so cold? A loud laugh breaks Chan out of his reverie to drag his eyes to the source of said sound. There's a few other college students laughing at some dumb tiktok the tall one of the three showed them. Chan exhales shakily again and moves his eyes back to the bus stop he's currently waiting in. The winter chill has finally set in, and it’s fucking cold. Chan enunciates his point by pulling his jacket around himself tighter with a shiver.

How many times has this happened by now? These moments of intense dissociation, fright, too much. It’s always too much. He can’t seem to keep the feelings at bay no matter how hard he tries. It’s a repeat like a broken record that won’t just stop.

The halting screech of the familiar bus drags Chan out of his own head again. He stands on wobbly legs and rushes into the bus to find his usual seat. He blinks. It’s taken. God this day could not go any worse for him. Chan forces his legs to take him to another chair. It’s just a seat, just a seat, just a seat. He repeats in his head to stave off the onboarding panic he knows is growing.

After a few more deep breaths Chan manages to quell the doom that tried to reach his exhausted mind. His head snaps up when he hears the breaks again. Changbin. Chan’s heart soothes at the knowledge his best friend will board the bus soon, Changbin always helps.

“Hyung!” Chan is greeted by Changbin’s infectious smile as he plops down next to him.

“Hey bin.” He exhales weakly giving Changbin the best smile he can muster, which is unfortunately not very good. Of course Chanbgin notices.

“You alright dude?” Changbin’s expression grows tainted with concern.

“Yeah yeah sorry, long night. You know how it is.” Chan sighs out giving Changbin a comforting expression to ease his worries. Chan never did like when people worried about him.

“Tell me about it, Professor Geon has me by the ass with this week's homework.” Changbin exhales heavily, sinking into the chair and closer to Chan’s arm. Normally, Chan would recoil and ask them to step back, he doesn’t like when people touch him without warning him. But Changbin’s touch is allowed, safe.

“Yeah I’ve had way too many late nights for comfort lately. As if it’s unusual for me though.” A self deprecating chuckle follows Chan’s quiet sentence. The hum of the bus fills the air for a moment before Changbin speaks again.

“Still struggling with your insomnia man?” Changbin’s eyebrows furrow as he speaks. Again, the worry. Ugh. It’s not like Chan doesn’t appreciate it, he does, he’s happy there's someone even on this earth who cares about Chan. But he hates anyone acknowledging that he has struggles, it’s just too much, again.

A deep sigh.

“Yeah, unfortunately. It’s fine though.” Chan trails off at the end as he spots the university approaching in the window. Chan nods his head in the direction to alert Changbin as he begins to stand.

They walk out together into the frozen air and Chan prepares himself for whatever today may bring him.

⋆ ̊。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ̊。⋆

The door slams as Chan races inside his apartment. Shit. It’s happening again. One exhale. Two. Thr- Oh fuck it.

He rips the drawer open - not a smart move on his part the thing is quite old and rattles dangerously as if proving his point - and frantically begins searching. Chan whines with frustration as a few minutes pass with no luck.

“Shit.” He cries out with a quiver in his voice. The blur is getting worse, he can hardly see where he’s going. What was supposed to be an easy day of classes, had now transformed into a horrible horrible day.

Chan gives into his desperation to stop the blurring by racing to his kitchen and searching the drawers. His hand graces over the familiar handle of his lighter. Finally. Chan exhales loudly and quickly brings the lighter out stumbling to his bed.

Guilt bubbles up in his chest like a raging campfire someone keeps adding gasoline too. He knows it’s a filthy habit he’s grown since high school but it’s the only thing that helps. It’s become a starving addiction that he can’t escape no matter how many - non harmful - alternatives he tries.

Chan slides down the foot of his bed landing on the soft carpet. Changbin gifted it to him on his birthday a few years ago as a housewarming gift. Chan spots the orange stain of bleach from the time Changbin agreed to help Chan dye his hair during one of his many mental breakdowns. He drags his eyes back to the lighter in his hand and quickly scrambles out of his jeans that suddenly feel two sizes too small.

His brain zeroes out until the comforting burn ignites on his skin. A few seconds pass before Chan puts out the flame, releasing a deep exhale. Another hot singe brands onto his thigh. Another exhale. Frustrated tears well up in Chan’s eyes, he scrubs away at them with his sleeve and stands up, still pantless. Chan slowly drags himself to the bathroom and addresses his wounds before changing into some pajamas.

He crashes onto his bed with a tired groan. He was hoping it wouldn’t come back to this. Why did it have to help? Why did it have to hurt so good? Chan punches his mattress in anger towards himself.

It’s dumb really, humans try so hard to stay alive. We weep in hospital rooms over loved ones diagnosed with terminal cancers. We fight and cry for those we’ve lost to weapons and aggression. But at the end of the day, in the silence and gloom of our homes, we hurt ourselves to fight what we can’t with our fists. Chan would like to say he’s strong, he’s survived until senior year of college, that’s a pretty good accomplishment right? But when everything is said and done, his mind is his own personal prison that he’ll never be strong enough for.

Chan laughs at the obscurity of it all before he drags himself up to trudge to his kitchen. He quickly pops his sleeping medication into his mouth and chases it with a large gulp of an old water bottle on his counter. He returns to his bed and lets the darkness of his room consume his mind.

⋆ ̊。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ̊。⋆

Chan gazes out the frosted window of the bus as he awaits Changbin’s arrival. His thighs sting with the reminder of his actions and Chan cringes at the feeling. Unfortunately Changbin approaches just then.

“You okay hyung?” Changbin asks scanning his frame for any injuries.

“Yeah all good my legs are just sore, went too hard at the gym yesterday.” Chan plays off his discomfort with a small joke.

Changbin - the ever loving gym rat - of course bites at the bait and his expression lights up.

“Yahhhh I know right! You skip leg exercises once and now you regret it for a week.” Changbin complains loudly and takes his respective seat next to Chan.

Chan zones out as Changbin rambles off about some new equipment at his gym not working. Sometimes Chan wishes Changbin would notice it’s not just a paper cut, that it’s not just him touching a hot cookie pan, that it wasn’t just doing too much at the gym. But deep down Chan knows he won’t be able to face Changbin if he knew how pathetic Chan was to hurt himself for relief. Silly, isn’t it? Oh well, Chan will accept the blur of color and sounds into his weeping mind until some part of him breaks. But for now, he’ll pretend.

He’ll pretend.

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