#somewhere in the middle: i can't fucking hear anything also my head feels like it's going to explode

[pawnguild]

hello everyone thoughts and prayers for my (potentially) collapsed eardrum 🤪

[kujousgf]

WHAT I WANT mdni. 18+.

pairings: emily prentiss x f!reader

synopsis: emily just can't wait until you get back to her apartment

content warnings: semi-public sex (office sex), fingering (r receiving), pet names, top!emily, bottom!reader

a/n: happy pride month! enjoy this short and sweet emily drabble ! it's my first time writing for her, so i hope you guys like it !

"Shh, shh, shh... someone could hear, baby. You've gotta be quiet." Emily mumbles as she presses soft kisses down your neck, her fingers pumping in and out of you at an unrelenting pace. "Can you be quiet? Can you do that for me?"

You feel her smile against your neck when you nod fervently, a quiet whimper escaping your lips as you bring your hand up to press against your mouth, effectively muffling and sounds you make. You're willing to do anything just for her to keep making you feel good.

In hindsight it probably wasn't the best idea for you two to have a quickie in her office in the middle of the day, but you can never find it in yourself to deny her of something she wants. You had also been the one teasing her throughout the entire morning, and again during your lunch break. So, really it shouldn't have been a surprise when she called you into her office to 'discuss some case files'.

While the rest of the team didn't bat an eye at the request, it was common for you two to discuss files together in her office, you knew that she had other plans this time. And, at first, you did discuss some files. You giving her a second opinion on whether or not a series of homicides were connected and whether or not they should be something the BAU pursued.

But somewhere between then and now, you had ended up sitting on Emily's desk with her between your legs and your pants hanging off of one of your ankles. You wouldn't normally do something like this at work, but you've both been so busy with a case that just wrapped up, you hadn't had any proper alone time in a week.

So, when Emily's hands found themselves wandering a bit too much, you hadn't even thought about telling her to cut it out like you usually would, telling her to wait until you got home. Instead, you only encouraged her, which is how you got here.

Emily crooks her fingers and you gasp into your hand, trying your best not to let any moans escape your lips. The heel of her palm is pressing and grinding against your clit just right and you can feel yourself getting closer and closer to tipping over the edge. Your other hand grips the edge of Emily's desk so tight that your knuckles turn white.

Emily can feel it too, the way you tighten around her fingers and how your hips move to match her thrusts without meaning to. Her free hand moves to grip your hip, keeping you still as she fucks into you. "There you go, you're taking me so well." She coos, dragging her fingertips against that spot she knows you like.

She moves up to kiss you, moving your hand and leaving soft kisses up your neck and on your cheek on her way to your lips. The kiss is hungry, but soft in a way that only Emily can kiss you. Because she knows that if she's any rougher neither of you will be able to stop, and you still do have some work to get done.

One particular thrust has you gasping into her mouth and gripping at her shoulder. "That's it, baby." She pulls away from the kiss so she can look at you when you finally let go, she knows it's coming, but you accidentally let out a moan that's a bit too loud. She brings her other hand up to push two fingers past your lips, looking a bit too smug as she speaks, "I know, it feels so good, but I need you to be quiet, remember?" The weight of her fingers on your tongue has your head spinning and you nod slightly.

You were already close to tipping over the edge, but then Emily is looking at you like she wants to devour you, the smug look fading and being replaced with hunger. The sight of you with her fingers in your mouth, taking her so nicely, makes the throbbing between her legs more present. "I need you to cum for me, baby." She presses against your clit just right and you find yourself unable to hold back as you come apart on her fingers, biting down softly on the ones in your mouth.

Emily groans, letting you ride out your high and then slipping her fingers out of you gently, bringing them up to her mouth to clean them off. She hums in content at your taste and then dries them off with a tissue. "Who knew you'd be so excited to be at work." She grins, leaning forward to kiss you softly.

[yuri-is-online]

Hello hello! Anon here. First of all, congratulations on getting accepted for your courses! Don't worry about trying to balance work and the blog, we will always be here waiting for you. Second of all, your whole Yutu AU has been really fascinating to look through. (Though that may be because of my bias toward Fire Emblem Awakening, as it was what got me into the series) Sorry for the incoming wall of text, but it's been giving me THOUGHTS.

So imagine this: whoever Yutu's dad is (I'll pick Azul for this example because I headcannon his English voice somewhere between Matt Mercer's Chrom and Olivert from The Legend of Heroes games) finds out who Yutu really is. You remember that cutscene after Chapter 13 in Awakening, with the Lucina reveal and Chrom has this: "You deserved better than a sword and a world full of troubles. I'm sorry."? Imagine Yutu hearing something like that: the acknowledgement of everything he's gone through, the pain of knowing his dad couldn't do anything and can't do anything more than offer words, and the reality that it might now be really possible to change the future? I imagine Azul breaking down after hearing all that because the last thing he wants to do is hurt Yuu or his son after everything he's been through. Oh goodness, the two of them both need hugs.

Second: did Crowley tip off the Magic Marshalls (because I think he would) and force Yuu to take the blame for his negligence (because he absolutely would)? Now imagine Yutu finding this out and telling his dad. Now his dad knows Crowley is a cheapskate who fobs his work onto everyone else without a second thought. And now he's responsible for having Yuu taken away and starting all this? Knowing the boys and how far they would go for Yuu I'd imagine they don't take that well. In other words, to slightly alter a quote from Regina in Once Upon A Time: "I guess killing a crow suddenly made the top of my to-do list."

Sorry for the wall of text but that's been rattling around in my head for a few days (so make of it all what you will). Hope you're doing well and looking forward to what's next!

-The anon who loves Riddle & Azul

AHHHHH (i feel like I always take forever to answer your asks I am sosososososososososo sorry, this one just drove me crazy in a good good way)

Listen fire emblem awakening was my entire personality for like all of middle school.  The only thing i wanted to talk about was chrobin.  I celebrated Morgan and Lucina's birthdays by drawing them. I think I still have a Cherche x Libra fan art thing I drew on some sheet of paper somewhere in my things because I was SO MAD that no one shipped them and I couldn't find fan art of them anywhere and I just oooooooooooh.  THE WAY CHROM GETS A NEW CRIT LINE ABOUT HOW ANYTHING CAN CHANGE AFTER THE REVEAL???? BECAUSE OF HOW DETERMINED HE IS TO KEEP THAT PROMISE AND GIVE LUCINA A BETTER WORLD???? i just cant be normal about them i am so sorry.  R+A annon I love you, I love you so much for this you made my entire month and possibly my year.  Awakening is also what got me into the series and made me so many friends I just love her so much.  She's an icon and I hope she gets remastered with Sumia either deleted or with a fucking personality.

I should probably sit down and actually write a timeline for myself of events, but since I am free to lean in to the fire emblem pacing, I want to say that monsters from Yutu's timeline start showing up (similar to how the Risen do in Awakening) in the past and stirring up trouble, which leads to an event where Yutu panics and forgets himself in his desperation to protect his dad.  The main way the future kids always proved themselves was by showing their mother's wedding ring, but Yutu doesn't have that so really it's just up to his dad to see someone who looks like him and Yuu blended together, supposedly from Yuu's world using magic and above all else crying out and driving up his own blot levels to protect him calling him dad. For Azul! Yutu it's especially painful, he feels like he already knows what his dad is going to say. That he's disappointed in him. That he has no idea how they could possibly be related. That he hopes in this future he turns out to be different. But that's not what happens.

Before Azul overblotted he was quiet. There's a similar quiet over him now, a similar look of tense surprise, but Yutu- no- his child doesn't know that. His child is looking at him in fear, in worry for his reaction or his safety he doesn't know but he knows the way those tears start to form. Azul knows the quiver of the lip and the shriek, of all the things he could have passed on to such a treasure.

"You deserved better from me." Because it's true. He might think of himself as a work in progress but he still thinks he has quality; he would have done research, read every book he could get his hands on, taken classes, anything he would need to do to be a good father, a worthy partner. Anything. "You deserved to have the world within your grasp, not whatever shadow of a future and a father I left you with. I am so sorry." He does not expect Yutu to grab him and hold him like he's still somehow worthy of his love, but Azul can't fight the urge to grab back, to stroke his son's hair and let the tears fall on his suit without any care at all. I'm here. It's ok, daddy's here, daddy's got you, he won't let anything happen to you.

As for your second question, I did not really write Crowley like that no. It was more like he was the first person mysteriously arrested after the Magical Marshall's decided to finally do their job. I was writing it like they wanted to ship Yuu away to cover up for their own incompetence in preventing seven overblots instead of properly investigating what might have caused that. He's not completely innocent though, so yes. The boys do not take it well at all. And please do not apologize for sending in your thoughts, I am so so slow but I love hearing from you.

[suengmi]

ot8 skz prompt!

you cry when they barely raised their voice at you (but not in a too angsty way, they were just playing around w you) and they comfort you

also HAPPY LATE BDAY 🎉 (im gonna rob you for all ur seungmin and jisung pcs)

hehe thank you anon!! i went to see moulin rouge live and just had a kpop trade day/night with my bestie i was like "i'll swap u any of these two lee knows... for that mingi"

BUT YOU CAN'T HAVE MY SEUNGMIN ONES I'LL FIGHT YOU BARK i got like 26 different seungmin ones with 11 doubles... it's not enough, funnily bangchan is actually my ult in skz alkjsdlaksjd leave me alone seungmin got me WHIPPED

ANYWAYS!! warnings under the cut, i added pics for comedic effect. idk why my writing always goes humour, anyways i worked v hard on this!! and as always,i messed around with the prompt a did a few hurt!skz/you raising your voice at them hehe enjoy!!!

in alphabetical order

all non idol!au, all gn!, as always kinda proofread and lapslock

you're laying on the couch, nose stuffy and filled with tissues. you were always sensitive when you were sick, your head feeling like it's spinning and your body betraying you anytime you tried to stand up. chan was always a caregiver, he loved taking care of the people he adored. not one day went by where he didn't ask if you needed help or needed anything, you could always reassure him that his presence was enough, much to his scoffing.

☆⌒ヽ bangchan

warnings/other: living together, established relationship

you needed help to go to the shower, the steam would probably help. plus, you hadn't showered in two days due to how sick you were.

"babe?" you called out, voice weak.

"baabe?" you squeaked once again, trying to lift yourself from the couch. "baaaaabe?" and nothing, but you can hear him tip toeing around somewhere, the clunking sound of a bottle hitting the bathroom floor.

"babe!" you half yell, still trying to push your self from the couch.

chan rounds the corner, eyes frowning as he taps on the side of his headphone, "what?!" he screams at you, eyes scrunching and brows furrowed.

you burst into tears, suddenly feeling like you're in trouble for wanting help. "i'm sorry, i didn't know you were busy." you can barely speak, voice raspy and quiet.

"what?" he speaks again, pulling his headphones to rest on the back of his neck. this time his voice more gentle. he sees the tears forming in your eyes and immediately comes to your side. "what's wrong?"

"don't yell at me." you say through tears, hands coming to rub your eyes.

"shit," he curses, rubbing the sides of your arms, "sorry, i had my head phones on, i was running you a bath."

"oh," you sob, still letting yourself cry your hands dropping to your lap, "i thought you were angry at me."

"oh my god," he says pushing your messy hair out of your eyes while wiping the last of your tears. he sighs, "i just couldn't hear you silly."

"i've run you a bath, do you wanna have one together?" he stops and gives you a sniff, "you need one."

you frown, using the last of your strength to push him away, but it fails. "yes please..."

--

you're balls deep in your game, you've never been so focused on a game in your life. it's the final battle fight of the last of us 2, you wipe away tears at the scene before you folding out, feeling conflicted as the characters fight in the water.

☆⌒ヽ felix

warnings/other: living together, established relationship, cussing

"ahh!" you yell a bit too loud as you feels more tears form, "this is fucked up, fuck you both, fuck off this is so unfair."

"what did you say to me?" felix says, turning from his pc to look at you. "did you just tell me to fuck off?"

"what?" you turn to felix, eyes back darting back to the screen for a moment, still in the middle of the battle.

"what the hell? why did you tell me to fuck off?" felix says as he scrunches his nose, clearly upset and confused. "what the fuck?"

"no! oh my god, no." you scrambled to pause the game, getting to your feet to stand by felix, "no, no, i was talking to the game!"

"you lyin'?"

you roll your eyes, "why would i say that to you? ellie is fighting abby, and i'm telling them both to fuck off, not you!"

"oh," he says, pleasantly surprised, "valid then."

you press a gentle kiss to his forehead, he looks up at you still kinda upset. "baby, if i were to ever tell you to fuck off it'd be because you ate the last of the bread."

he smiles, eyes crinkling into moons, "oh that's true."

"you wanna watch?"

he scoffs, "god no, i already cried at that a month ago. hell no."

--

"get back here!" changbin screams, running across the field to catch you.

☆⌒ヽ changbin (LMAO THE PIC)

warnings/other: new relationship, play fighting

"no, no!" you yell back, a grin on your lips, you dart around the edge of the tree, seemingly hidden (well, you think at least.)

dating changbin had been a whirlwind, he was kind, funny, silly in the best ways and so cared for you like no one had. it had only been a month, but you were so damn in love with him, even though you were still getting to know him. everyday you were excited to find out more about him, it was never enough.

there's a silence in the air, your eyes dart around the edge of the tree. after a moment or two, a voice screams suddenly, "got you!"

"ah!" you scream, feeling hands aggressively wrap themselves around your waist. you had always been a scaredy-cat, any loud sound would startle you and send you into a frightened mess.

"all mine!" he said as he pulled you to the ground, arms still wrapped around your waist.

you feel trapped, his large arms wrapping around you. you can feel the anxiety in your chest, flight taking it's hold over freeze.

"changbin! that really scared me!" you cry out, but he's relentless.

"too bad, i win!" he chuckles loudly, pushing you to lay on your back, his muscles bulging as he pins you there. he slowly loses his smile when he meets your upset scowl, mouth turned down at the sides.

"baby, no-" he says searching your face, "i'm so sorry, was that too much?"

"yes," you say in a low tone, wrapping your arms around his neck. "i get startled easily,"

"i didn't know, i'm sorry." he apologises again, lifting you up to deepen the hug. you melt into his frame, enjoying being engulfed by your boyfriend, though pocket sized, he seemed much bigger than you in moments like this.

this is your chance to get him back, you smile into his neck before pressing a sharp bite down on his collarbone.

"hey!"

--

usually, hyunjin was the patient one.

☆⌒ヽ hyunjin

warnings/other: living together, established relationship

he would always happy to wait for you when you were getting ready, always be okay with you needed to run back inside and pee because you would probably forget and always, he would always wait for you to tell him what you wanted or how you felt, never pushy once.

you were upset, getting fired from your job. it wasn't your fault, just the reality of the job market right now. 'no more funds.' they had said. you were floundering., wallowing in self pity (and rightfully so.)

when hyunjin arrives home, it's ten oclock at night. you're sitting on the couch, balled in a blanket. the lights are off, black smoke seeming to surround your nest of pillows, the only light on your face was from the tv.

"hey beautiful-" hyunjin says cheerily before being met with your tired eyes, black rings around the bottom. "what's wrong?

"nothing." you scoff, hiding more of yourself.

"babe-" he says softly, kicking his shoes off and dropping his bag. he comes to your side immediately, hands rubbing up and down your side. you say nothing, shifting away from his touch.

he sighs, "you wanna tell me what's wrong?" he seems tired.

"no." you say lowly, turning up the tv volume.

"are you... sure?"

you say nothing as you kick him with your foot, still wallowing and watching the tv.

"fine, be like that." he scowls, voice slightly raised as he shakes his head. he shuffles to the kitchen counter, gripping the soda left on the bench top. he takes a sip, looking back at you, clearly annoyed. "i'm not in the mood."

hyunjin was never one to raise his voice, never had he done that to you. he patience seemed to have be worn thin this time.

"no i didn't-" you sigh, trying to gather your words.

'i have bad days too you know, it's not just you."

you sit up, blanket falling down the back of you. he's right, he's always right. "that was not cool, i'm sorry."

you look over him with sad eyes. he's now leaning over the counter, hands digging into his scalp.

you get up from the couch, readjusting the blanket over yourself as you shuffle to his side. you bump your head into his shoulder, looking up at him with wide eyes. "i love you."

"i love you too," he sighs, leaning his head on yours.

you sit like that for a moment before he speaks. "i got fired."

"no way same."

you both look at each and laugh in disbelief, how on earth did this happen?

--

jeongin was so cute, so damn cute. he reminded you of how cute he was every time he did, well, basically anything. but sometimes, he was really secretive. you didn't know why, until you had come to his house the first time. you hadn't been together long, but you were over joyed when he invited you over for dinner.

☆⌒ヽ jeongin

warnings/other: fresh relationship, not smutty but heavy descriptions and mentions of hentai lmao, pg i guess

"bone app the teeth!" he chimed, placing down the bolognaise he had made. it looked and smelled delicious, and you loved the cute frog bowls he had put them in. it made him that much cuter.

"eee! it looks so yummy." you squealed, "wait gotta pee."

"okay, down the hall to the left" he said plopping himself down, proud of his masterpiece. he sat up, making sure to clarify. "oh not the second door, the first one!"

you didn't hear the last part as hurriedly made your way down the hall. you looked at two doors, two seemingly the same. 'i think he said the second?'

you open the door in a hurry, being met with a large pillow of an anime woman, giant boobs out and her legs parting in display. you just stand there in shock, taking in the sight before you.

"helloooo." you said curiously, stepping into the bedroom. on the light stand there was a figurine. her boobs were seemingly wet, the short skirt she had lifted up behind her, thong busting out. a few more adornments, mostly lewd plastered the room.

"babe?" he called out as he walked down the hall. his eyes met with your curious ones, a smirk slapped across your face.

"babe!" he yelled, pulling you back by your arms. "i said first door! why didn't you listen!?"

"ow!" you said in surprise, feeling a lump of guilt building in your throat. he had never yelled at you before and it scared you. "i'm sorry i didn't hear you."

he sighed shaking his head, "i told you not to go in my room!"

"stop yelling at me..." you mumbled, wincing away from him.

quickly he pulled you out of his room, accidentally slamming the door behind him, it made you jump.

"jeongin-" you started but the lump in your throat grow. "i just got the wrong door, don't yell at me."

you stood in silence for a moment before he spoke up, rubbing the back of his neck, an unsure grin on his face, "i just didn't want you to see yet, i'm sorry i yelled."

you turn back to him, eyes tracing his face. he'd been caught. "theeee hentai?" you smirked, standing on your tippy toes.

jeogin's face burnt red, ears tingling with embarrassment. he scrambled to say something, but nothing came out. just splutters of words.

you laugh, "do you seriously think i'd be upset about that?"

"i don't know..." he says under his breath, looking everywhere but you.

"hm," you ponder, finger on your chin, "i don't know how i'd look in a thong, i might not have the ass for it."

jeongin looks like he's going to burst, his expression surprised and embarrassed by your words.

you sigh, taking his hand in yours, "it's fine but don't ever yell at me again, okay?"

"okay..." he says looking to the ground, feeling stupidly sorry for his actions.

"besides," you begin, smiling at him, "maybe you'd look better in a skirt and thong."

--

"wake up!" is all you hear as you jolt upwards, your forehead sweaty and breath heavy coming from your chest.

☆⌒ヽ jisung

warnings/other: living together, established relationship, mentions of nightmares and knives (not bad i promise lol)

you had a nightmare, which didn't happen often. the dreams you usually had were just an information dump of your day mixed in with people you had thought about, but this felt real, the feeling of fright still tingling in your body.

you look over at jisung, his eyes sleepy but still looking at yours.

"hey, you okay?" he speaks, voice raspy.

"no!" you yelp, busting into tears, still feeling shaken by your nightmare. "you were following me, telling me you were going to kill me! why were you yelling?"

"what?" jisung says in a confused tone, hand coming to your shoulder to stable himself.

you shrug his hand off, "you were going to kill me, why would you do that?"

"what are you talking about?" he mumbles, sitting half upward.

"in my dream," you begin by taking a deep breath, "you were chasing me with a knife, it was so scary."

"i'm... sorry?" he says, still so confused, "i didn't mean to?"

"oh," you breath out, tears slowly stopping. "i still cant believe you'd do that. i'm... damn."

"i'm sorry i tried to kill you in your dream. it was wrong of me...?" he mumbles again, eyes trying to find sleep.

"yeah, yeah it was." you breathe out, "don't do that again."

"okay... i won't." he sleepily sighs, his body falling back to the pillow. "i can't believe... i did that, what a ...dog act from me. asshole."

"absolute dog act, you dick." you finish before you feel your body laying back, waiting for sleep to capture you.

"so wrong of me, i'm such an idiot." he mutters, his lips pressing against the pillow, already falling asleep.

--

you scoff, eyes slowly closing your tiredness overtaking you. "damn right."

aussie slang: dog act if you don't know lol

"c'mon, just let me see." you yell through the crack of his changing room, attention turning from your phone. "i'm sure it's fine."

☆⌒ヽ lee know

warnings/other: close friends who like each other, uh lee know half naked??? spicy lee know, play fighting

"it's not." he says from the change room. you can hear his sighs through the curtain, frustration in them whenever he tries on another piece.

"do you need help?" you start, sliding yourself to the other side of the bench in front of the changing room.

"no!" he fumbles, dropping another item.

you sigh, hand slipping to grab onto the curtain, "i'm coming in!"

"no-!"

you're instantly met with his crotch, boxers tight across his hips, and you can see that. yes, the outline of that. your brows raise, certainly surprised with the view in front of you. his boxers had the kittens on them, cute little kittens of all colours and a pink background. you loved it, you can't deny.

"uh..." you start, not knowing what to do. you'd liked lee know for a while, so you can't say you're entirely horrified. you slowly raise your eyes to his, confusion and annoyance on his face.

you just sit there, his eyes burning into yours, just both staring at each other before he pushes on your face, leading you to fall back off of the bench. "don't do that!"

"ack!" you fall back yelping back hitting the ground with a thud, "i'm sorry i just wanted to help!"

he raises his voice slightly, anger present in his tone, "yeah, well i'm fucking naked!"

you feel bad, you've pushed a boundary and you didn't even realise you had been edging on it. "i'm sorry." you choke out, feeling bad for invading his privacy. you were close but not that close, yet.

you just lay there, ashamed of yourself for what you did, not thinking about his boundaries. after a minute he comes out, you're still laying on the ground in defeat.

he purses his lips in anger as he grabs the side of your ear, wrenching it towards him.

"ah shit!" you screech, laughter behind your words, "i'm sorry! aha i'm sorry! stop it!"

"you done?" he says through his teeth, still pulling on your ear.

"haha yes! it tickles and hurts!" you giggle, mouthing ouch a few times. he gives you a final tug before he finally let's go of your ear.

you get to your feet, rubbing the side of your ear. you both walk in silence before he halts you, eyes glaring into your own.

"if you wanna see me naked just say so, at least i can put better boxers on."

it was your turn to go red in the face, but you smirk instead, hiding your face, "i like those ones."

"really?" he questions, pondering your words, but seems impatient in his tone. "i'll wear em for you this weekend then, you staying over or not?"

you nod hurriedly, instantly agreeing to his plans.

"aw," he stops, clearly enjoying your agreeance and the new realm of flirting with you, "cat got your tongue?

you smack him on the arm, "stop!"

--

"do these look good?" seungmin asks, raising the brown frames to his face. no, no they don't. they absoutely don't. you try to hold in a laugh, your hand coming to your mouth.

☆⌒ヽ seungmin lalsdjka that pic always gets me

warnings/other: established relationship, seungmin thinks he's funny

"umm... maybe?"

he sighs, raising them a bit. "how about now?"

"uh," you begin, trying to hold in your laugh, "sure?"

passive aggressively he throws them back on the rack, turning on his heel to walk to the next section. you follow behind him, you can sense he's getting frustrated trying to find the right sunglasses. his vision wasn't the best without his glasses, so he needed your help trying them on. no contacts in today.

"hmm," he ponders, picking up anther pair. they're so ugly, rectangle and frames way too dark. no one would suit them, that's probably why they're on sale.

"um... maybe?"

"you already said that!" he says, frustration in his voice. "if you're not going to help, just leave."

you feel kind of hurt at his tone, but continue to follow behind him. you can't help but feel the anxiety in your chest, he wanted your advice but never listened anyways so you thought it best to be quiet.

suddenly he turns to look at you, feeling the awkward tension he's created. he throws his hands in the air. "what?!"

"hey don't yell," you start, wincing a bit at his words, "i just don't think those suited you..."

he takes the sight of you in, realising he's upset you, "shit- i'm sorry baby, i'm just annoyed i can't find a good pair. this is so hard."

you grab his hands and bring them to your chest, your eyes looking up at him, "thank you for apologising, you don't gotta be so mean."

he bends down to press a kiss on your lips, it's gentle with apology laced in it. he takes in a sharp breath before leaning back, "okay, which ones?"

"circle, definitely."

he turns to face the other section, hand gently melding to yours. the pair he picks up are just as ugly as the others.

"no," you begin interrupting him. you let go of his hand and pick up a dark circle frame pair of simple sunglasses, "these one's."

"really?" he questions, brows raised.

"just try them."

he sighs, bringing the frames to sit on his ears. "yes or no?"

"oh definitely, these are the ones. you gotta trust me."

he pouts and rolls his eyes, "oookay."

--

a/n: i had so much fun writing this!!!! hope you enjoy!!!!

<33

[ssa-atlas-alvez]

cowboy reader comes across a crazy ex gf or partner. like not murder crazy but crazy ass bitch yk?

Description: Dana, an old 'friend' of reader turns up at his work place and decides to make a scene.

Warnings: reader gets slapped, crazy ex girlfriend, she insults JJ, she calls her a sl^t and wh0re, she also tells reader to 'burn in h3ll'

Taglist: @xweirdo101x@xdark-acadamiax@ara-a-bird@heidss@chubbyboyinflannel@pendragon-writes@migwayne@bigolgay@technikerin23@supercriminalbean@honestlycasualarcade@caffeine-mess@1s3v3n1@oddmiles@kevyeen@stealing-kneecaps@criminalskies@woodandwaxwings@wizardmon3@aphroditeslovr@ducks118@azeal-peal@13thdoctor-run@introvertpan84@goth-boi-atlas@iliketozoneout

"Hi, is there something I can help you with?" JJ asked, approaching the woman.

"I'm looking for Agent (Y/N)," The woman responded.

JJ nodded, "He's right this way," She said, the pair of them walked, silence filling the air. A million questions racing through JJ's mind about who this woman was. "So, how do you know (Y/N)?"

"He's my boyfriend," She said, "We've been dating on and off for about five years now. We met in college and it was love at first sight. But with the long distances, we kept calling it off for a while. But we always find our way back to each other."

You tried to bite back a sigh when JJ walked in with Dana. You really, really didn't have time for this. A six year old boy was missing. This couldn't have been any worse timing - it probably could have been, but right now, it didn't exactly feel like that.

"Hey baby, can we talk somewhere in private?" She asked when he approached you, running a hand down your chest.

"I can't talk for long, three minute max," You said. She sighed but nodded and you led her just a little bit away from the rest of the team, wanting to be close by in case they found anything interesting in the three minutes you were talking to Dana.

Dana immediately launches into 'flirt mode' - more than she already was. She's twirling her hair, staring at your lips. And, to be frank, you're not a fan. And you have better things to be doing.

"Dana, can you- can you come back another time? I'm in the middle of a case, I can't do this right now." You said with a sigh as she walked closer to you, the team could very clearly hear everything going on (for a team of profilers they were not good at acting subtle).

"Seriously?" Dana laughs as she swoops down to grab her bag, "You know what? No. We can't do this later, fuck you!"

"Dana-"

"What? What do you want, (Y/N)? Huh?"

"I- I told you, I'm at work right now, I can't do this here, this is important," You said.

"And I'm not?!"

"Dana, that's not what I said, but we're trynna find a boy right now and I can't do this,"

"You're saying he's more important than me?!" Dana scoffed loudly.

"Dana, I'm trynna do my job," You tried to reason. You knew it was useless. But you had to at least try.

"So you're saying he is more important than me!" She exclaimed.

"Dana, he's a missing six year old boy, you're here for a - n excuse my language - a booty call," You said.

The slap sounds through the room and in its wake is the deafening silence of the team and the tingling on your cheek. You drew in a deep breath, trying to stay calm as the team stared in shock. Giving Morgan a small shake of the head when he instinctively reached for his cuffs. "Dana, I need you to leave. Now." You said sternly, "We are not datin', I've not given you that impression and I need you to leave so I can do my job and find this little boy."

"You know what? Fine! Fine, do your little job! With your colleagues! With that slutty blonde! I see the way you look at her!" She points angrily to JJ as she continues to yell.

"You need to fuckin' leave. Now." Your voice is low as you step closer. "You can insult me all you want, but the second you insult her? Insult my friends? Either you walk out that door now or I get security to remove you."

She stared at you, huffing loudly as she turned around. She glared at JJ, "Whore." You ground your teeth hearing that, stepping towards her again.

"Dana, leave. Now." You voice is deep and you ignore the shocked faces of your team when you addressed her. Instead, she turns to glare at you again.

"Burn in hell."

"Get a life," You muttered bitterly, pointing at the door. She huffed once more before leaving.

[just7frogsinapeoplesuit]

I just watched the second Dune movie since it's been out of theaters for a bit and wow it was. Bad. The first one was unnecessarily long and showy but it at least stuck to the plot of the book. This one felt like someone read summaries of the main plot points and just made up a bunch of stuff to go in between, and the editing was really really bad. It's actually entirely possible it might have been a decent movie in script form, but whoever pieced it together did it like a total amateur. There was no sense of time or pacing, scenes happened almost at random with no explanation, and on many occasions someone says or does something that clearly is supposed to go somewhere important or add to the scene and then it just. Doesn't.

I need to vent so, things I can remember off the top of my head:

- There is almost no suspense in the (very large number of) fight scenes simply because it is not entirely clear what is happening, why it's happening, and what we are supposed to be rooting for.

- The acting is mostly bad. Nobody sounds genuine, except when they are suddenly so genuine it's jarring.

- The choice to have half the Fremen not really believe in their culture's religion immediately undermines the entire core of the tensions in the plot and adds a really weird inconsistency to the tone to the film.

- At one point the camera briefly shows a wholeass eclipse occurring in the middle of an otherwise normal scene of people talking. It does not affect the lighting or dialogue in any way.

- The scene where Jessica becomes a reverend mother is just sad. It was probably the most profound, gripping scene in the book and instead she's behind a random rock surrounded by people who think the ceremony is bullshit and then just foams at the mouth a little and goes "ok I know things now and also my baby is a little fucked up"

- There is not, at any point, a drug-induced orgy or even a reference to one, which is just cowardice on the part of the writers

- Actually, aside from the foaming at the mouth nobody really does drugs at all. In Dune.

- Despite the enormous CGI and costuming budgets, they decided to make people's eyes blue by just adding a (highly inconsistent and sometimes barely noticeable) tint to them in post. I'm sure this was done for Acting reasons (fully blue eyes can't convey emotion as well) but it looks really cheap.

- It is never mentioned that all of the protagonists (and some of the most necessary people in the empire) are physically dependent on spice to stay alive. This feels like a ridiculous oversight given how important it is.

- At one point we pan across the hold of a harkonnen ship before a battle (not during!) and one of the soldiers is projectile vomiting across the whole screen for absolutely no reason. I did audibly laugh at this one.

- They barely explain any of the politics behind what's happening, despite that being necessary to understand half the scenes they included. I am assuming this is because CGI explosions get better ratings than making sense.

- Stilgar's only function in the entire film is to act religious and yell "lisan al gaib" every time Paul does anything. He's also the only major character with an accent, which is supposedly due to him being from the overly-religious south. That's not even subtle racism, guys, because you purposely drew attention to it.

- We are never shown anything that explains why the Fremen believe in Paul so much, other than that he can fight ok. The concept of strategy is mentioned only for the final battle, and even then barely

- Merit points for removing the homophobia from baron harkonnen's character, but docked again because they kept him as the only fat person. Not surprised here, just disappointed.

- Paul mentioning that people close to him died is treated like a "gotcha!" that makes some Fremen feel bad for him. At this point I'm pretty sure the writers did not read Dune at all.

- Most of the exposition about the water of life is done as Desert Voices Paul is hearing, except they just plainly state what he has to do in English. If you're going to have him hear magic voices at least make them slightly mysterious, this just felt lazy especially considering how vague and non-literal all of his visions are.

- The camera regularly lingers on completely unimportant things for way longer than needed. Whoever did the editing probably thought it made the film more ~artistic~. It did not. It just made things even more bumpy.

- Alia stays a fetus for the whole film and communicates with Jessica telepathically from the womb? I'm assuming they didn't want to CGI a talking baby and they're going to use her in a future film so they couldn't leave her out. It's probably less weird for people who haven't read the book, but it also speeds up the entire timeline by multiple years which is its own host of issues.

- They have a perfect opportunity to explain what the water storage is for and the Fremen's end goal (sustainable ecology), but just leave it at "the water is needed for our salvation"?? So people who haven't read the books have no idea what the goal is?? I swear they did this because they didn't want Stilgar to say anything that sounded smart

- As far as I could tell there is not a single chrysknife in the whole film.

- During the final feyd rautha fight, we clearly see Paul get stabbed in the abdomen. When he removes the knife after we wins, it's in his shoulder. Unless he got stabbed with two knives and I didn't notice because the editing was so bad.

There is way more but I am tired. Not even going to touch on all the other unnecessary changes to basic plot points. A few of them made sense, but not most.

[out-of-luck-and-minorly-stuck]

Secrecy || Wandanat

(Alternate Universe)

Natasha has always been obedient. Does literally everything that the Red Room has tasked her to do, which was mainly to assassinate people.

It wasn’t like she was given much of a choice anyway, she just does it.

Her goal was to seek information then kill mercilessly. She was so used to it that she doesn't really feel guilt anymore. All that's on her mind is to kill. Because that was her place in this world, to kill.

Wanda, on the other hand, was on the opposite side of Natasha's. Though, they haven't seen each other but they are fully aware of each other's reputations.

Nat, being the most dangerous assassin that she is, and Wanda, being one of the earth's defenders, an Avenger.

Wanda was bored... and hungry, but mainly bored one night. Her face scrunched, not wanting to get up. It was also like quarter till midnight so she really should be asleep by now, but she's not. And she can’t just go outside her room and get snacks, people would think she was like sleep walking… again.

It's okay, happens to most of us.

As she rolled over to another position, finding a spot on her bed, she felt a sudden vibrate from her phone which said, received a message from "Tasha".

U awake? :/

Yeah, why r u still up

Well, I can't sleep. Something's been eating me alive lately, I need to tell u something.

U can tell me anything now, u know

Yeah, but I feel like it's more appropriate to tell you this in person.

Oh alright, meet me at our spot? :0

Sure. Thanks, Maxi :) stay safe, love

She immediately got up from her bed, grabbed her red jacket, tied up her shoes, and quietly attempted to sneak out of the Avengers Compound.

The things that she does for the girl… damn.

She is literally sneaking out for the night, couldn’t get anymore exciting than that.

Walking past the kitchen, tiptoeing only to hear a sudden cough from someone behind her.

Fuck, I'm screwed... She thought, as she slowly turned her head only to find Pietro, who crossed his arms, looking at Wanda suspiciously.

"What are you doing? Also, why are you sneaking away in the middle of the night? Oh- Are you meeting your girlfriend somewhere?" Pietro asked a million questions at a wide-eyed (also so close to having a heart attack) Wanda. Noticing the other girl’s expression, Pietro smiled smugly at the other girl, who shook her head at her twin. He knows she's queer and supports her. But your lovely girl, Wanda here, is still closeted.

"Shut up, she's not my girlfriend" Wanda chuckled at her brother's comment.

Then quickly added "Please don't tell anyone, I'll be quick" Wanda pleaded, as the guilt was slowly washing on her. They can never know that she's meeting up with the one and only, Black Widow.

"Okay, but promise me you'll be quick?"

"Of course"

-

Wanda walked into the familiar path of her and Nat's secret place was. As the fresh zephyr flows through her, she smiled, looking at the moonlight above her.

She silently walked as she arrived at her destination, a small park around the city's uncrowded areas.

Looking around slowly, she spots Nat sitting on a bench, waiting patiently.

She instantly smiled at the scene, Nat looked cute, although the other girl would not hesitate to argue with her when she says it out loud.

She walked up to the girl, sitting down with her while mumbling out, "Hey".

"Hey, Um- I have something to tell you, little red" Nat whispered out loud enough for Wanda to hear.

"Yeah?"

"Um, I don't know how to say this but-"

"Take your time, love"

"I was originally tasked to kill you..." Nat looked down, whispering. She couldn't look at Wanda's face after saying that.

"Why didn't you?" Wanda whispered back, softly.

"Because... I can't- I couldn't- I- I couldn't imagine killing someone I'm in love with"

[warriorsweaver]

Original Warriors covers vs new covers, a tangential word vomit analysis by me: ORIGINALS Into the Wild really pulls you in. Who are they? Why does the one on the right look vicious? What's up here?

Fire and Ice is like, "Shit's going DOWN." The little square with Fireheart and Graystripe sitting for their vigil is beautiful. Love the moon. Love the difference in colors between the square and the battle in the background.

Forest of Secrets is breathtaking. It's easily one of my favorite book covers ever. Fireheart's back is exposed, the story dives into betrayal, and the cats crossing the stepping stones is ... just perfect.

Rising Storm with the hunting sequence and itty bitty fluffy lil baby Cloudtail. I wanna scoop him up and snuggle him and give him churus. The background looks beautiful. I want to go there. It contrasts well with the tension of one cat stalking another.

A Dangerous Path with that LIGHNTNING IN THE BACKGROUND omg middle school me was obsessed. That's the one I remember seeing my friend read and then I finally asked her what those books were. I remember thinking, "I can't wait to get to that book," because it was clear some big stuff was going on in it.

The Darkest Hour is so calm and really gives eye of the storm vibes, and Firestar seeing his reflection as a lion is beautiful and an excellent payoff.

NEW COVERS The new covers are like, "This is a cat," and that's about it. Great. Yeah, that's a cat. A pretty kitty, one might say.

Into the Wild's is okay. Rusty looks a bit baby-faced, as to be expected, and his eye is well-done. I like the grass, but also it looks like he's just popping up from it even though I feel like the intent is that he's supposed to be stalking through the foliage? On Fire and Ice's cover, I can tell that's Tigerclaw. Looks like the still shot of a villain in an anime while they're plotting their Evildoings and you can hear their inner monologue. But he also looks like a very old bearded man, for some reason. The little embers against the wintry background is a nice touch. Why is Forest of Secrets golden? Why is the river piss? Why is it sparkly? This does not invoke long-buried secrets being unearthed and changing lives, reputations, and social statuses. It has more of a "summer vacations that last forever" bright and pretty vibe. Rising Storm is ... eh. Red. Fiery. Okay. But the overly airbrushed, sparkly-eyed kitty doesn't show me that tensions are building. It just looks like kitty is doing a photoshoot for their Insta. I think that's Yellowfang?? A Dangerous Path is, like, where is that light coming from and why? Nothing here looks dangerous. The cat looks like it's being blinded. I don't even know which cat that's supposed to be. The forest background is dark to remind us that this is a DANGEROUS path but forests are dark at night and not inherently dangerous because they're dark. Aaannd then we get to The Darkest Hour. All they had to do was include a fucking lion somewhere. It would've been cool even if it was sitting behind Firestar. It doesn't look like he's looking at his reflection. It looks ... I don't even know. The water effect would work much better if it looked like it was rippling outward from somewhere? Instead, they made it look like the water is moving in an outline around his head, which doesn't make any sense. It's sourceless. Where does the movement start? Where is it going? I don't know. I can't tell.

The close-up face shots with little to nothing intriguing going on around the cats doesn't make me wonder anything about the story. It doesn't pull me in. There is so little space around them. It feels like when you wake up and you feel your cat's breath against your nose and their paw is in your mouth and they're yowling at you because they're STARVING and you're like, "Dude, I love you, but get out of my face." ty for reading my rant. please return to your regularly scheduled day. Have a good one.

edit: just wanted to toss out there that the artist of the new covers has amazing work in his portfolio, and my issue isn't with him nor his art as a whole, just that the direction (which is probably on the publishers' end) lacks "oomph" and doesn't do the drama in the Warriors series justice. Also, with as many books as there are in the series, it's important that each book's cover is distinct, and the newer covers don't quite hit that mark.

[404name-not-found]

Vent post about system stuff incoming:

Also if you don't support in-system relationships just fuck off this specific post ok? Not in the mood to hear it

The concept of spending the rest of my life only ever half able to touch my wife (he/they) is fucking depressing. I can feel him because I mainly sit internally, and I know he can, to some degree, feel a ghost of where I'm touching him (not that way I'm referring to cuddling and kissing the rest is no one else's business) but it's not the same.

I will never be able to hold him the way his partner with a separate body can. While I'm not jealous of said partner, it does feel like something about me will always be inferior. I know if I had my body, I would not be able to hear his thoughts and know his feelings so we wouldn't work as well as we do, and probably would not be anywhere near as in love as we are because we don't deal with all the time wasted by misunderstandings and such. But I also know that if I had my body I could marry him legally, and I could be supporting him because my body was not disabled. I could take care of him in ways I just can't as things are. If I had my body, I could fill the roles I can't fill because we share a brain and body.

I wish with everything in me I had my body and still had the ability to communicate the way we do. I wouldn't have seen him in so many abusive relationships. I wouldn't watch him struggle to get things done and get what he needs. I was able to work in my fictional canon! I made plenty enough to support us! But I can't.

I know a miracle let me literally cover a gap between worlds to let us be together even though here I'm considered fictional. And somewhere deep down I know it wasn't a miracle, it was a world of hurt I wish he'd never gone through. And I know I should just be grateful I have him and we can be together despite how absolutely impossible it realistically is that we managed this.

I couldn't imagine a world without him, and I would never want to take the step back that would come with losing sharing the same head the way we do, but there's just a lot about sharing a body that makes a relationship like ours feel like we're so close to being perfect and the only thing in the way is one missing electrified meatsuit.

Don't misunderstand, while despite all the scientific knowledge I do have, I have no understanding of the science that makes it so he can kiss the air or a pillow using the body and *only* have the same biological reactions as he would with another body if one of us is kissing him in the head at the same time, I am eternally grateful for it. But for once, would like to stop being scientific wonder and be a man and his wife with nothing extraordinary besides the amount we love each other.

There's nothing to say or do to make it better; I'll feel okay tonight when he's laying in my arms since the body dissociates well enough when we're laying down to sleep that we can almost entirely feel each other, but for now it sucks and there's nothing that's ever going to change it. I spend 99% of my time grateful that I was given the chance to know him and love him and be loved by him and I wouldn't risk it for anything, but that doesn't mean I don't wish we could fill that last gap to where this would be perfect for him the way it is for me.

He deserves a relationship that can give him everything someone with another body can with someone who would *never* use that body to cause him harm, not with someone who is in the process of being taught not to. He deserves to kiss someone without flashbacks of that person forcing that kiss a few short years ago.

He deserves to have the whole experience of a relationship with someone who genuinely loves him without any backstory of beating or assaulting him in any way. Instead the closest he gets is always wondering if the only reason I'm safe is because I don't have a body to hurt him with. And I do not blame him at all for wondering that - every non-middle school relationship he's had besides one that didn't end up with that happening has been with those of us in his head. But I want to prove to him that people can love him without causing pain. That he SHOULD be loved in ways that do not cause pain. That no one should be hurting him and calling it love and there is nothing about having a body that causes them to behave that way. That what they did was choice they made and kept making, not inherrent to using body separate of his. Maybe then he'd be able to understand that he deserved better than what he got.

[gentleeclipsey]

Was it worth it?

I swear to god if this is who I think it is I'm going to lose my fucking mind. I'm going to be brutally fucking honest about my feelings and I don't care, if you decide to read this that's on you. I have blocked you five times, there is a hint and then there's a blatant get the fuck away from me.

But, if you're not who I think you are, in some capacity I'd say yes. Fair warning, a lot of bad stuff mentioned, also a bit of a rant because I've never told anyone outside a few friends who aren't on tumblr. Also I'm sorry, this is gonna be long and disjointed, the whole thing makes me angry to an unnatural degree, I've never been this angry at someone in my life. TL;DR just below the cut:

TL;DR: my ex destroyed my mental state and Trollhunters made me realize that, now I'm single and happier for it. Now onto the rage.

I made a lot of friends despite my partner's actions, and I have characters who I absolutely love, I'm free, I feel good, I'm not scared to be alive. I'd say it wasn't worth all the bullshit I put up with. I'm angry at myself because I was so spineless, even now I still can't fucking make heads or tails of half the shit that happened.

I don't care anymore. They'll always see me as a horrible person, I did my best and I was never enough, I'd never be enough no matter how much I tried. No matter how many times I cried, no matter how many times I had to hide things from myself so I wouldn't leave new marks, no matter how many times I apologized, it'd always be my own fault and at this point I've just accepted I was fucking pathetic and horrible and I don't care. I had to spend every waking fucking moment catering to them, talking to them, and they'd get angry because I wouldn't realize what was wrong and I wouldn't fucking pry it out of them and bend over backwards for days to make them feel better. I had to ask for a break somewhere in the middle because between classes, work, and them, I was so fucking overwhelmed and I tried to explain it to them but they didn't believe me or didn't care but every time they had the chance they'd rub my face in the fact they were so hurt over the fact I needed a break to regather myself.

Mind you, their pain was more important than mine. When I first had Jackie, she was my favorite OC. I loved using her, I still do, but they hid their feelings about her for so long that when they told me they didn't like her and called my emotions toxic for being upset. When they tried to rub that break in my fucking face again I told them about the absolute painful hurt I felt over what they told me and most essentially they basically told me that pain didn't mean anything because it wasn't like their pain. I was fucking trying to craft her to be appealing to them, to make her what they wanted so we could just be happy again but they fucking threw all that out the window.

Wanna hear the best part? I couldn't fucking talk to anyone outside of them publicly, even to use Jackie with others despite the fact they hated her. I have Sage to thank, because they were the first person I interacted with publicly that made me start seeing my partner for who they were. They got so fucking mad over a short text RP, later told me they wanted me to make friends, then fucking went back on it and fucking got upset because I apparently treated people I talked to casually better than them.

They rubbed my face in the fact they had breakdowns in public because of shit they started. When I'd pass out they'd get quiet with me and have a short temper but if they passed out I had to be understanding. If they vanished for days at a time I wasn't allowed to be upset but if I vanished they'd have a fucking breakdown. I made myself be so understanding to them becsuse they were sick and they never fucking thought twice. Never. Because I wasn't sick like them that meant I always had to be perfectly fine. Always. Perfectly. Fucking. Fine. They admitted to me they tried to train me. Train me. Like I'm a dog. Like I'm a fucking dog. I cannot begin to tell you the absolute whirlwind of rage I felt in the moment I read that but I kept my head by some fucking miracle.

Trollhunters is what broke the back of all the shit that'd been happening. It started with Undertale, it ended with Trollhunters, and they took my fucking OC from me and told me for years that that OC wasn't mine exclusively, and now I don't have a fucking choice. I can't even begin to describe the absolutely disgusting anger I feel over the fact I literally can do nothing to get my OC back because they've told me for years she wasn't mine and I can't fucking remember anything clearly and I doubt myself constantly now. I cannot begin to describe the absolute disgust it makes me feel I can't do anything to fucking get my OC back and that I hate more of my OCs because of their bullshit.

To contact a fucking artist, an amazing, wonderful person fucking 5 years later and say that I stole their OC and to take down the art? What the fuck. Funnily enough, I have Jackie most specifically to thank for making me realize! Wanna know what the fuck they said to me? "I was upset because I felt you loved her more than me." I WISH I WAS FUCKING LYING. I have so few screenshots but Jesus fucking christ I cannot explain to you the absolute seriousness in which that was stated.

I cannot even begin to describe the anger I feel over everything that happened. Not in the fucking slightest. They always accused me of not loving them anymore, of hating them, when they first started saying that it wasn't true, but now I can't fucking stand the idea of them anymore. I hope they see all the shit I do now, how much I draw Jackie being happy despite their shit.

So yeah. I have Trollhunters and Jackie to thank for helping me realize how bad things had gotten, because if it weren't for my absolute hyperfocus on it I don't think I would've seen what'd happened as soon as I did. There are so many emotions in here I can't describe at all, and I know if they saw this they'd immediately try attacking me publicly. Hell they might see this because I've had to block four fucking accounts already. Five if you count discord.

I feel like I should've taken way more screenshots than I did, but I'm not going to post them, I want to move on from this but I have so much simmering rage over what's happened its taking me a while. They're not in the Trollhunters fandom, at least, they're barely on social media as is aside from lingering accounts. Trollhunters is my safe space now, as is Jackie and my closest friends.

[cozza-frenzy]

For some reason tumblr isn't letting us reply to this ask "properly", so fuck it, text post time. Hope you see this, anon. Oh boy. Well, we often end up telling this story because a lot of systems tell us they've never seen anything like it before, but if you guys do have something similar you have my sympathy. Dealing with it wasn't easy, it wasn't fun, and we were very lucky that someone (Vimes) showed up to stop it from causing further harm. This story may be disturbing; it also talks about events in our inner world. For any non-systems reading this, the Inner World is a visual reference tool that out system gives us in order to better understand the mood and mental state of parts. It gives us unique appearances "in our head", and gives us ways to work through our trauma by creating memories of places and each other within it. This isn't a hallucination or a delusion; it's our subconscious adapting to dissociative parts that act like separate people, and sometimes it can do just as much harm as good. (Continued under the cut)

So here's the thing - when you have DID/OSDD (at this point we're not sure which one) and your brain has been suppressing almost everything about this for a long time, often it has a lot of catching up to do. Alters can start to emerge very quickly, either coming out of dormancy or spontaneously forming from specific types of trauma. What happened in our case, though, was every single trauma "category" that hadn't formed an alter yet got stuck together. And this didn't form one alter with a lot of trauma; instead it formed a kind of huge "pseudo-alter", one that manifested not with an in-system body, but as an entire place within our inner world. That was The Red Forest. Initially, we thought it was just another place. A forest full of birch trees with bright red leaves, with a thick carpet of red leaves covering the floor - it was completely silent, and even the sounds of footsteps and voices sounded odd, like something was stopping the sound from traveling. Needless to say, it gave us all the creeps. But then we saw someone new come out of the Red Forest - and we figured okay, sure, I guess this is how our brain handles this now. Alters have to come from somewhere, so this is where alters come from. I even went in there once myself, riding on the back of Rakugaki (now a part of Anarchy) because I could sense there was someone in there who was lost, and that was how we found Holiday. Oh boy, was that a mistake. Turned out The Red Forest didn't just feel hostile; it was hostile, in the sense that a wild animal whose territory you just invaded is hostile. All that unresolved trauma hadn't formed something intelligent; it'd formed a huge pile of hurt, anger, fear and pain, that was now aware of where the pieces that kept breaking off it kept going. Within a few days we started to hear horrible noises in the front, like tearing metal or animals being slaughtered, and then the entire thing - the entire Red Forest in itself - attempted to front. It over-wrote our fronting room and dropped all of us right in the middle of it, only withdrawing when it realized it couldn't actually control the body in the state it was in. But nonetheless it took out its rage on Chaos; unlucky enough to get trapped inside of it, it ended up being injured in the Inner World, something that can't normally happen unless someone really wants someone else to be hurt. The first thing it said upon finally getting out - after me and Rakugaki went in there again and spent three real-world hours trying to find it - was "don't go in there, it hates us". We're only lucky that the very next alter I spotted emerging from the forest - from a safe distance, on our in-system "cameras" - was Vimes. He's a specific type of gatekeeper we call a Jailer, who can lock down areas of the Inner World, and he was able to keep the Red Forest contained where it was. He was able stop it from fronting (though it certainly didn't stop trying) and was able to go in there with his lantern - back then, our Inner World's only representation of hope - and lead other alters to join the rest of us. We put a contingency plan ("Operation Kaiju") in place in case it ever escaped containment. But even at its worst we only ever enacted the first half of that; I realized it could be reasoned with, and attempted basic communication through Vimes' barrier. It only ever said one thing with words, and it was "thank you". After the emergence of Jenova, The Red Forest "died" on July 31st 2023, and no longer exists in our system. Our remaining alters found their way to us of their own accord. Chaos still has a special bond with Vimes, and has made him part of its ever-growing adopted family. And we've marked the date on our calendar as our system's Collective Birthday, because it marked the beginning of the end of our system discovery. Whatever you have in your system, anon, I hope our story inspires yours to handle it however you can. Trust in each other, put your unique abilities and skills to good use, and work together. It's the only way to move forward. - Terry, Martin & Leaf

[terresdebrume]

A scene that will definitely not be in the modern Webgott fic but also it assaulted me this morning and refused to let go of my brain so. Yeah. Featuring trans!Webster before anyone knows he's trans.

Mom is in the middle of lighting the shabbat candles when Joe's phone goes off, and no one says a thing. Which is fucking rich, because Joe's always on Ruth's case about phone use during holidays and he's away most of the time, and he doesn't even shut the thing down right away! Ruth turns to Al, whose eyebrows are gratifyingly up in shock even though she's not saying anything.

"Joseph," Mom says, always in German, "turn that thing off, please."

"It's from Germany," says Joe, frowning and not actually turning it off, the rotary phone ringtone growing louder on the second run.

"Just ignore it," Jake says, glancing at Mom before turning back to Joe with a frown. "You don't know anyone in Germany."

"There's Virginia," Joe frowns, thumb already hovering over the screen. "And it's, what, two am over there?"

"All the more reason to ignore it," Ruth dismisses, trying not to sound as annoyed as she feels. "She's probably just drunk at a party somewhere and having a laugh."

Joe's mouth twists to the side, in that way he does when he thinks something might be a load of shit, which Ruth thinks is fucking rich. Virginia Webster has been a little shit in Joe's periphery for as long as Ruth can remember: apparently she insulted him on his first day working for her stupidly rich parents and hasn't stopped being a pain in the ten years he's been driving her and her equally rich and obnoxious family around. Ruth may have never met her—of course not, she lives in New York and is part of the reason why Ruth's eldest brother is a figure mostly confined to high holidays and the occasional New Year break—but she's heard enough to know it's not worth blowing shabbat for her.

"Joseph," Mom says, much calmer than Ruth feels, "ignore it or don't but stop that noise."

"Right," Joe says frowning harder as he gets up from his chair, prompting Judith and Rachel to finally join in the outrage. "I'll be a minute."

Ruth is still gaping, searing at Joe's retreating back as he makes his way up the stairs and tells his employers' daughter he's kind of busy—and in German, no less. At the head of the table, Mom and Al don't even look angry.

"Are you kidding me?" Ruth asks, watching Mom shake her match out. "We're waiting for him?"

"Of course we are, don't be rude, Ruthie," says Mom, frowning at where Joe disappeared.

"But it's not fair!" Ruth protests, not bothering to check her volume. "He's always on my ass about not having my phone out—"

"It's his job," Alma sighs. "He can hardly refuse to answer."

"So what, he could have just said he didn't hear his phone! They see more of him than we ever do already, and now they want him to pick up the phone when he's on leave, too? That's just bullshit!"

"Ruth come on," Jake tries, sighing on the last word, "it's the one time—"

"Yeah, that's how they start!" Ruth insists, frustration mounting at the lack of reaction from the rest of the family, "Next thing you know they'll be doing it every five minutes—"

"After ten years of respecting his time and right before his contract ends?" Judith asks, skeptical. "I think it's more likely there's a real emergency."

"Okay, and if there is why can't she call her rich family about it?" Ruth retorts. "We hardly ever see Joe—"

The heavy footfall of a grown man sprinting down the stairs cut Ruth short, Joe reappearing in the cramped, tiny living room and immediately going for the coat rack. That, at least, makes everyone pay attention. He doesn't even look pissed, is the thing, like it's perfectly normal for your boss--not even that, your bosses' kid--to call you from halfway around the world and start giving you orders long-distance. Ruth is about to protest, when Esther asks:

"You're leaving?"

"Just a couple hours," Joe says, sinking a hand into his pocket, presumably to check for his keys.

"She's not seriously sending you on an errand right now," Judith scowls, but Joe shakes his head.

"She had a car accident."

"Oh, shit," says Mom, one hand coming up to her mouth, "is she okay?"

"She says she's fine," Joe sighs, pausing to rest a hand on the back of Jake's chair and sighs in a way that makes him look profoundly relieved and unfairly burdened at the same time. "But Hoob and Van--I mean, the two guys she was traveling with are dead so she's probably downplaying her stuff."

Ruth's stomach clenches. She doesn't like any of the Websters on principle, and she's big enough to admit she's jealous, sometimes, that this Virginia girl seems closer to her brother than she feels... but she's not enough of an asshole to resent her Joe's concern right now. Basic decency and all that. That doesn't mean Ruth can't get confused, though.

"I don't understand," she tells Joe, "she's in Germany, what the hell can you do from here?"

"She's not in Germany, they were on a road trip to Belgium," Joe says wiping a hand over his face. "Place called Bastogne, apparently. She's got a friend who'll be willing to fly out, but he goes incommunicado during holidays so since his break residence isn't far she asked if I could drive there and let him know the what's what."

"What about her parents?" Mom asks, having firmly veered from potential irritation to concern.

Joe scoffs, dismissive.

"I'm the driver and she called me first, Ma, what do you think?"

Ruth stays quiet, but quietly adds a new, somewhat surprising reason why the Websters sound like fucking assholes. It doesn't make it okay that Joe's going to miss his last shabbat before he has to go back East, but it does make it easier to decide not to give him grief over it. She sighs, twisting her fingers together, and tells Joe:

"You'll be careful on the road, right?"

"Sure."

"And you let us know how it goes," Al adds, no room for argument in her tone.

"Yeah," Joe says, sighing again and fishing his car keys out of his pocket. "I'll eat when I'm back, don't wait up."

Mom nods, but Ruth knows they're all going to wait anyway. It's not like the food can't keep, after all, and as miffed as she was that Joe has to leave at all she doesn't want him to be penalized for helping a friend, thanks. So: they wait. Ruth trounces Jacob at pocker, then looses all of her peanuts to Alma when they bet on UNO, and then they dust off the snakes and ladder board with a corner chewed up from when Esther was little and in her eating paper phase.

And when Joe comes back with the reassuring news that the guy he want to fetch is flying out in the next couple of hours--thank you private jets, apparently--it's with a gift basket that's worth more than Jake's rent, so. There are compensations too.

[femgoddess-hecate]

What makes me going insane (well this is the tip of the iceberg) is that trans people genuinely cant see that they are just perpetuating consumerist ideals to feel "identified" with the sex they are claiming to be. This is in response to the barbie post you just reblogged. Like this guy is getting mad about people liking barbie and its so obvious that he feels like barbies ARE an integral lil girl thing but what about actual females who hated them?? When i was growing up i truly detested them and how they were pushed on myself and the other girls around me and my family would send them to me every hear even though they knew i HATED them and i would play baseball with them until they broke apart into pieces. Like what now yall?? Does that mean i also missed out on iMpoRTaNt GiRlhOoD ?? Fucking weird shit to gotcha people on twitter. Sorry for the rant !!

You're all good rant anytime!

I do agree with you though. It's not just consumerism (though that is a huge part) but perpetuating sexist stereotypes as well.

Like this guy's head is so far up his own ass that he can't see Barbie as being anything but for girls. Like he's using this discourse as a shield to the fact that he never got affirmed by getting barbies as a kid bc surprise, he's male and likely wouldn't have.

And like you said, many little girls didn't like or want barbies or princess dresses or baby dolls or the play kitchen. Or if we were given stuff like that we made do and played how we wanted.

But I think the takeaway here is he's jealous of that too. Even being able to reject barbies wasn't something he could experience. He's hiding his disdain and envy behind a shield of consumerism as the problem and an incessant need to feel superior. If people coddle him and agree that owning barbies is tied to girlhood and subsequently to that made-up image of the spoiled rich girl who bullied people, he wins.

I think I too would like to know what he thinks of that girl who would be either rich or poor or somewhere in the middle, who rejected stereotypically feminine toys or clothes. I personally think he'd be envious again of the ability to reject that, or because we know tras subscribe so heavily to the existence of gender roles, perhaps like you said, it's the thought that something was missed out on, or that femininity wasn't performed correctly.

Thank you for sending this! It was really interesting to think about.

[samsbastardzone]

The first time you hug her, she’s just saved your life. Again. You’re not really "still kids" anymore, but fuck it, you feel like one again as you look up from the forest floor and see her still standing, breathing hard, no sound but calm wind and the dying gurgle of some unlucky owlbear. You stagger to your feet and over to her, mumbling "thank god you're OK," mumbling "my head hurts," drape yourself across her shoulders from behind, just seeking some comfort--

You are back on the forest floor.

The second time you hug her is also the first time you see her cry. She doesn't know yet how light your sleep is becoming, how watchful you must now constantly be at all hours, and so she fails to quite hide her ugly, wretched, silent cry. There's only one shitty floor mattress- again- so you can't help but feel her holding still as she tries to hide it, tries her hardest not to wake you. Instead, you roll a half turn to face her and wrap your arm around her.

She freezes, all sniffling vanished, stiff as a board. After a long, tense moment, she gently removes your arm from her torso and places it back at your side.

You wrap her in it again.

This time the rebuff is immediate and firm. Raini likes to sleep on her back on these shitty beds, but she curls on her side to face away from you, practically fetal. You can hear her taking deep shuddering breaths, trying to get herself under control. You're under control all day, Raini, you don't say to her. I want you to know I will never truly judge you. I want to see you sometimes, you don't say because you know she'd slap you.

So you put your arm around her again instead, and this time she lets you, curls tighter into a ball and wails until she's dry. You're not sure what brought this on, but you figure the girl needs some sort of release once in a while, least you could do is not say anything about it. Not out loud, at least.

Too bad she's a divination wizard.

The third time you hug her... well. We don't talk about that one. Zaini asked why you had a lump the size of a golf ball on your forehead. "Raini hit me with the floor" was the right answer, technically. You conveniently left out what you'd been in the middle of when you attempted a rare bout of genuine affection.

Zaini knows, though.

The [------] time you hug her, she's weak. So frighteningly weak that you don't know what to do with yourself, let alone this frail stranger by your side, staring up at an insurmountable tower topped with what can only be the literal sun. You're not that strong (what are you talking about? You're plenty strong!), and in fact, handing this pale waif off to the giant floating fish person with upsetting muscles is looking more appealing by the minute.

When she sags, though, it's you she sags against, and you fold her into your arms easily. Her head comes to rest on your shoulder, easily despite the rough pace of the climb you're settling into, and a sudden spike of pain and confusion pierces your skull.

Not the time. Later. You begin to climb.

The first time (in so long) that she hugs you, it's dark. The Neilia port district is cursorily bedecked with lanterns, but no more than any other part of the city that's not the palace. The royal wedding revels spin on into the wee hours, somewhere fifteen minutes' walk or more away, shouting their joy into the night sky.

She may be the divination wizard, but she could never sneak up on you, either. "I never thought I'd see this day," you tell her without turning around.

"I need you to stop being sappy before I smack you. I came here to watch the fireworks."

"Oh shit, really? Now? I must've lost track of time." You can see it now, as you turn fully around: all of Neilia's citizenry, arrayed on rooftops, terraced streets, hillsides, gazing expectantly up at the sky. It's jarring to see that many people at once, period.

They can't see you, though, and they aren't looking. As the first stars wink to life, as the first crimson and gold and deep purple wheels burst in the sky, a small body sits carefully cross-legged on the dock beside you and leans her whole weight into you. "Just here for the fireworks," she says, by way of explanation.

You manage to watch the show in silence for a few minutes, her head pillowed on your shoulder, this time perfectly still for her.

"Hey," and she looks up at the disturbance. "Thanks for giving our memories back."

"Don't make me push you in the lake."

"You couldn't."

She doesn't dignify that with a response, and she lingers with you far after the crowds have dissipated, leaving just the smell of gunpowder and the lingering hint of wonder in the air.

[hollywoodsargeant]

10 on the weird writer questions? Also this poem https://poems.poetrysociety.org.uk/poems/fucking-in-cornwall/ made me think of boyish. Sort of :)

10. Has a piece of writing ever "haunted" you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

oh this question is wild but Yes and Yes. i'll answer the last bit first bc it feels important for context but to me a piece of writing that haunts me is like. i can't get it out of my head for a Long Time after being exposed to it the first time. i keep going back to it. sometimes i wish it would leave me alone. but it doesn't go away really just. anything that sticks with me to an almost uncomfortable degree

to which i say yes! i have definitely been haunted by pieces of writing and i am definitely actively being haunted by pieces of writing. first thing that comes to my mind is. my favorite poet of all time ever Michael Beard who the first time i heard his work i did literally hear it i heard him read his poems out loud and immediately knew i was never going to be normal ever again. nothing has ever ingrained itself into my brain the way his poetry did and i've heard a lot of poets read their work atp... like. bc i heard them out loud i didn't have records of them (and his stuff was really hard to find online) so just. months. Months of me being haunted by things i could not re-read until finally! i did find some of his stuff and helpfully compiled it into a gdoc for myself so i can continue the horrors at my own free will. i will drop some of the lines that haunted me/still haunt me/et cetera et cetera

"and I thought fragmentation of the self / meant easy to handle" (I have always wanted to be opaque)

"I wonder when I pull / out the poem I wrote to you / and recite its final words / I, too, blur / if they come to fruition / if they chisel away / this marbled image of you / until nothing" (I have always wanted to be opaque)

probably my favorite poem of all time it's the one that stuck with me the most after i heard it. Dead. the opening line is something about someone else's lip balm lingering in the spaces between your words and that is also. the second he read that one out loud i actually felt my brain turn over like a rotisserie chicken in my head

"dry fingers / not conditioned for such intimacy, such / lavish intimacy" (The Roots You Swear By)

"Please don’t ask me to take the cactus home / because then I will grow to witness / what these two hands can nourish, / press thumbs into spines, prove / that cactus and heart / are not so different / when it comes to where we put our love." (The Roots You Swear By)

ughhHhH. put a cactus in your heart. bye.

"Shape my body into a bowl and drink from the shallow collarbone / I leave for you." (Phiale)

"Think of the gestures that make us endless. / Speak, if you can. / Tell me how prayer is too small for this." (Phiale)

every day of my life tell me how prayer is too small for this rings somewhere in my head and every day i kill myself about it

"I wonder why you left yourself / on something rotted. / Your name, still etched into the middle post you thought / would fall into the water." (Re-parting Our Shapes)

"My heart is the moment the post finally falls. / The midpoint between the water and your name." (Re-parting Our Shapes)

yeah does that last one look familiar. Yeah. i love that poem so much the whole thing makes me insane. something about etching your name into rotted wooden posts in lakes and never being able to look at places the same in an after. fuck off my heart is the moment the post finally falls i am killing myself

and my own writing yeah. i used this metaphor both in heartstroke and in a very personal essay i wrote for a uni class but "warm the way a dead thing is in a blizzard" still haunts me. honestly that whole personal piece haunts me not even just for that metaphor but the whole essay is insane and in that i used the metaphor to describe the love i have for my father which is Wild but i stand by it. warm the way a dead thing is in a blizzard (something about by comparison and survival instincts and other crazy indescribable things)

and ohmygod thank you i read the poem and i do see what you mean... that and the idea that you read a poem and thought of something i wrote is making me a bit insane so thank you i really appreciate it <3

weird questions for writers

[xoxo-bunnydumpling]

"You know...I didn't think you'd actually show up."

He's pulled away slightly from a hell of a kiss and my brain isn't quite working yet.

"But I live here."

He drops his head to rest on my shoulder, hiding his face. "I meant for our first date. When you rang my doorbell I was so shocked I kinda couldn't even move for a second."

He had taken longer than I thought someone should take to come open the door and let me in and I thought for a moment I had the wrong house and then I guess I kinda just assumed he'd been in the bathroom. It takes ME forever to pee...

"And then by the middle of it you were brave enough to kiss me..."

He raises his head and kisses me just ever so softly, lightly and I can't help but think of how much like our first kiss that was. If he had nefarious intentions that evening he kept them completely to himself.

"It began to feel...emergent."

I've always wanted to know, but have never asked, why the hell he decided he liked me that day. It's not terribly important now that we're married and having a child together but I ask him anyway.

"Have you ever met someone that's just...you feel like they were always supposed to be there and it's just straight up wrong that they haven't been?" I can only nod. If I try to say anything I'll cry. "So, um...thanks for showing up."

We sit for a minute, killing time until dinner. He's sat back, and I've tucked into him with my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and feeling just so astoundingly lucky that it does...that he's alive, that I met him, that he actually likes me.

"So..."

"Hmm?"

"If you liked me straight away, why didn't you try to...ya know, put the moves on me?"

He laughs. "I DID kiss you."

"Yeah but..."

"But? If you had asked me at any point during the evening I would have been 100% willing."

Oh.

"Okay so suppose I just walked in after you FINALLY opened the door and was like they nice shirt, wanna fuck? What does Hot Librarian say to that?"

"I mean...that's the best pickup line I've ever heard so yes, let's go ahead and do that."

So I compliment his shirt, and he seems pretty game until he hears my stomach rumbling and our daughter starts kicking at the hand he has resting on my belly. "Okay okay, let's go. I actually did have something planned and am not just trying to dazzle you with my dick."

After dinner (sushi that he didn't fuss about me eating), COFFEE (that he also didn't fuss about), and a walk through the park to take in the Christmas lights while fog descended on us like a Silent Hill holiday special, he stops me under a tree. "You told me you loved me for the first time right here."

"You said it first."

"And everyone thought we were getting engaged. Speaking of...I think we should get married." He had a look on his face just then...the chaos face, and I decide to "yes, and" him to see where he's going with it.

"Yeah probably should since we're having a kid and all."

That's about when he got down on one knee and pulled a box out of his jacket pocket. People are definitely watching and I wonder if the contents are similar to the last ring box he presented me with a couple months ago: a keychain with a telescoping penis on it. But when he opens it, it's not quite so lewd but just as funny...a stretchy ring from a claw machine, shaped like a duck. To accommodate my swelling fingers, no doubt.

"It will fit, guaranteed."

"You're early. It's not even our first date yet."

"I got impatient. So what do you think? After Lyra's born we could go somewhere nicer than the courthouse. Make it a whole thing."

I said yes to the duck. Yes to him, again. The man is extra as fuck but that's part of his charm. On that day, a year ago, we talked on the phone for two hours and I had absolutely no idea any of this would happen. But I was so taken by how easily he laughed, how genuinely nice he seemed, how he was obviously just a little nerd boy, and how even after two hours we were reluctant to let each other go.

I still don't want to. Every night I kinda wish we didn't have to sleep, that we could just stay up talking for days. We never seem to run out of things to say to each other, and every morning I wake up and look over at him I'm so excited to have another day with him in my life. It's been such a great year and I'm looking forward to forever more.