#sometimes you just need to forget about everything and draw your comfort ship

[fruixtii]

Lilinor ruined my life

[givemewallywestorgivemedeath]

I'm currently suffering from my own hubris so what better time to delve deep into horror concepts I want to see the Flash series explore???

1. The Speedforce

Yeah, so this thing is insane. It isn't really talked about much in canon but when it 'bonds' to a person it permanently changes their body. This isn't always readily apparent and sometimes it doesn't even happen. But it's a necessity. Because if the person's body doesn't change they will die. The power will be too much for them and they will literally burn up and keel over.

Now, the actual change itself isn't much better than that. The speedster experiences a tremendous amount of pain and their entire body explodes into energy. If their bond is strong enough then the speedforce will replenish and replace each cell in their body as they explode. (As seen with Wally West, Bart Allen, Barry Allen, Irey West... Oof, you get the point) Bit of a 'Ship of Theseus' moment there. If your entire body is replaced by speedforce are you really the same person you started out as? Who knows! Anyway, after that they are permanently bonded to the speedforce and their bodies, essentially, belong to it.

What does that mean? Well, for starters? They can't die. Their bodies are no longer mortal. If they die then the speedforce just reclaims its material. If the speedster is strong enough then they can gather up enough speedforce energy from within the speedforce to create a new body. If the speedster is especially skilled they might even be able to escape the speedforce with said new body.

But their minds? That's a different matter. Their soul, their essence, everything that is 'them' resides within their minds. Its the only thing that separates 'their' speedforce energy bodies from the rest of the speedforce. If they lose that... then they become nothing but energy, permanently. It's what happened to Johnny Quick and you can see it start to happen almost immediately whenever they enter the speedforce. They start forgetting everything. Their names, their loved ones, their personalities, everything. They can't escape unless they know who they are, unless they can separate their sense of self from the energy around them. (As seen in any Flash story ever)

Because that energy? It's all just processed speedsters. The entire speedforce is made up of speedsters who lost that fight and forgot who they were. Every iota of energy the speedsters draw from the speedforce is just recycled speedsters from across the multiverse. And they know that.

So, yeah, there's definitely a horror element there. There will be no relief of death for them. Their souls have been sold off and all they have is borrowed time until they eventually give in and become semi-living fuel for the next generation. (As seen in DC Rebirth) Not a very comforting thought but they can't exactly do anything about it.

Their speedster states cannot be undone. You can put an inhibitor collar on them but that only stops their bodies from using the speedforce. It doesn't sever their connection. It just pools in their bodies, unused and agitated. (as seen with Wally West in Flash Forward) You can attempt to drain all the speedforce out of them but even that has proved to be impossible. You can drain them enough that they don't have the energy to run but their cells can never be completely drained of speedforce. (As seen with Barry Allen in Williamson's run)

Really the only way to sever the bond is to do so before it changes their body. (As seen with Jai West in Flash Rebirth)

Which leads me to my next point!

2. Body horror!

Yo, they don't have fucking bodies.

I'm serious, do you know how often they turn into pure energy? It's all the time. You know how they can just snap their fingers and create clothes? Or how they can create energy clones? Or how they don't age? Or how they can regrow severed limbs? Or how they don't really need to eat, breath or sleep after their body changes???

They don't have bodies.

Not really. They think they do but what they have is energy that they have shaped into a body form. Because their brains can't really handle the fact that they no longer possess human bodies.

But you know what a human body can't do? It can't be crammed into a metal wand like a genie, Bart. And it can't run through space without oxygen, Barry. And it certainly can't be stabbed through the heart without dying or bleeding and then start leaking energy, Wally.

These guys are literally just energy in human wrapping paper because they live in a state of denial. And it'd be really fucking wild to actually explore that as a concept.

3. Timelines!

Time is weird and nobody knows that better than the speedsters. Why not have fun with it? Do some cool existential horror stuff with the timeline. Some moral quandaries and ethical dilemmas. Jazz it up a bit. Idk there is a lot that could be done with this one.

[lovemyromance]

Sometimes I genuinely question the sanity of this fandom. Like I think some people have gone so extreme in one direction ... they've landed right in the same spot again, if that makes sense.

I'm sure regardless of who your favorite character is - we all read these same books so we all love a strong, powerful FMC. We love the chosen one long lost princess who kicks ass, has a bit of a mouth on her, and goes toe to toe with some "my job is sword" Ken.

We love it. Eat that shit up.

But I think the frequency - and bear with me bc imma make this word up - and tropefication of this romantasy genre has really made people lose their grounding, forget our roots and common sense, so to speak.

For example, let's take the enemies to lovers trope. Of course there's something so hot and exciting about two enemies who hate each other but fall in love. I love it. That's arguably my favorite.

But I think people are forgetting that despite the over saturation of this trope in the current market - It doesn't make any "non" enemies to lovers books any less romantic, any less exciting. Love is expressed and can be written in many different ways. Love can and will be written in the way that is most honest to people, and that extends to even fictional characters.

People are just so caught up in what has become the new norm that they are forgetting everything about real life, real people. They've adapted a "if it's not like this - I don't want it" attitude that might be doing more harm than good.

And I say that because I just witnessed all the drama that was Elain week when people were defending fictional abusers with their entire lives instead of just respecting a boundary set by a real person to respect others.

And I say that because I still see the stupid "pliable bones arguement"

And I say that because I mentioned once that I'd rather wait for Gwyn to show interest in someone romantically before claiming all these theories about her since she has very recent SA trauma - and then instead of people saying that makes sense, I had all these people saying I was anti-feminist and disrespectful to SA victims.

In what world is giving someone the time and space they need to recover from SA suddenly a bad thing? It doesn't even have to do with ships - it has to do with a character clearly being not ready to go out into the real world at the end of the book and deciding that maybe she needs more time to heal. Nobody's out here saying SA victims in general can never be in romantic relationships - all I've said is that specific character does not seem ready. When she shows interest in someone, I will take it as she is ready. I personally do not feel comfortable shipping someone with such recent trauma with someone-especially someone who is supposed to be her trainer and someone safe - unless they show me something that signifies actual interest.

And I understand the whole "empowering women" argument. But I want to ask - is that what we're doing?

Are you really empowering women? Or are you being disrespectful and a faux-activist under the guise of "women's empowerment?"

I don't care that these are fictional characters. The minute people start disrespecting real people over these fictional characters means that these characters mean more to those folks than actual people. And therein lies the problem.

These are real people that are getting called such ugly, rude names. And for what? To defend someone's "rights" to draw pictures of abusers? To defend someone's womanhood by disregarding her SA trauma?

It's tasteless. It's not just "fandom behavior". Fandom is not some lawless land where you can be a heinous human being and interact with real people disrespectfully. I've never seen it this bad and I'm genuinely shocked at what it's become.

[ardenssolis]

Name — Shi

Pronouns — she/her or they/them

Preferred comms — Discord buuut I don't like giving my Discord out unless we've been interacting and talking for a while nowadays, so I am trapped in the hell known as IM until then. Honestly, though, I have a tendency to get into writing or doing other things and forget anyone talked to me sometimes either way so--- 😭

Name of muse — Ozymandias

Experience in RP — I've been rping since I was a kid back in forever ago before I even really knew what rping was. It all started on a chat site and I wasn't sure what was going on but I liked it LMFAO. I think it was probably about middle school-ish time for me. 6th grade I guess??? So a while.

Best experiences — AAAAA many! I think some of my best experiences rping was when I was doing things with my friends on Twitter and Deviantart. They always inspired me to draw and we were constantly designing characters / joining art rp groups back then which helped me improve drastically. Ughugh I miss doing things like that sometimes.

Pet peeves / dealbreakers — Godmodding. The quickest way to make me drop a thread is making Ozy do something or saying he did something without consulting with me. That's a pretty big dealbreaker for me as I've been put in really uncomfortable situations as a result of people doing this. Also instantly coming at me with ship ideas is a bit of a put off if we like...have literally done one thing / I barely even know you. I had that happen day one of me making Ozy and it almost made me want to leave before I even did anything. Only time I will shake you around and be like, "yeah let's gooooo!" is if we've known one another a long time / I'm comfortable enough to do that.

Muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ) — That depends. I love writing things where it's deeply discussion based over beliefs, philosophies, and the like. Emotionally charged threads too since that gets my muse really going, but it doesn't need to quite be angst so IDK AAAAAA. Fluff is okay sometimes, although Ozy isn't exactly 'fluffy' most of the time and it's a 50/50 with him and his fickle moods. Smut is nice to write every now and then too because there can be a lot of characterization in intimate moments like this. I don't think I have any kind of definite preference when I think about it -rubs chin-

Plot or memes — Memes usually (or just throwing unprompted stuff in my inbox)! My attention span is absolutely terrible. I like plotting but I have a tendency to slowly lose interest if it goes on for a while as I like getting the barebones as to what we're going to do, have some discussion, then jumping straight into making a thread. Discussing things as we go along and have things already started is just more fascinating for me.

Long or short replies — I loooove long replies, but those tend to be done at a slower pace unless the muse is really gripping me by the throat. I remember the days when I wasn't working and I could get through like ten threads a day or something but thinking about that now has me like, "how did I even do this?" So a nice mixture of short and long is nice! That way I can pick and choose what I feel like replying to that day.

Best time to write — In the weeee hours of the night mainly -- and with music! ////

Are you like your muse — Not even remotely amg. Ozy's too much of everything. He's loud, he's arrogant, and his confidence levels are off the charts on a good day whereas I prefer to be left to my devices, avoiding conversation or faking it till I make it with people, and then dying when I get home because boy was that too much extroverted activity for me FKJSDFHKSDFDS

Tagged by: @lobiita (thank you turbo!)

Tagging: Take it!

[tinywitchgoblin]

hi :D i was wondering if i could get a tbb ship?

i’m 22 with wavy blonde shoulder-length hair, blue-grey eyes and 5’6”! i’m studying aviation management in uni and have a huge interest in the aviation industry!

in my down time i love love love relaxing and watching videos, playing games with my friends, drawing and painting or reading! i’m a bit of an ambivert and can be super friendly and outgoing sometimes, but also enjoy keeping to myself and can get overwhelmed and socially drained… i tend to hyperfixate and ramble a lot so i worry that i bother others with my talking! i can be an extremely emotional person and i find that i cry very very easily even over small issues… i also find that i am a good listener and can empathise with others when they need to rant

my love languages are most definitely gift giving and physical touch! i love showing my friends and partners that i care for them by buying or making them things that reminded me of them or that i think they’d like! i love cuddling and holding hands and soft touches - just something to ground me and remind me i’m wanted

i love love gloomy and rainy weather and curling up and sleeping as the rain hits the windows. i prefer night to day and wanted to be an astronomer when i was younger because i loved the stars and moon so much. i find peace in these quiet times

my fashion sense can be all over the place.. i love comfy oversized loungewear but also dresses and skirts with cute heels or chunky boots! i love jewellery too and find sentimentality in the pieces i own - treasuring ones that are gifted to me or remind me of others!

thanks so much & i love your works <3 have a great day!!

Thank you 🥺 you too!

I ship you with...

Tech!

Being a pilot himself (among many other things), you and Tech quickly bonded over all things aviation-related. He wanted nothing more than to show you the Marauder, and one day when it was just you and him, he got to do just that. He shyly asked if you wanted to learn to fly, and when you said yes, he got so excited!! To be fair, he did end up infodumping about the ship for over an hour before the actual lesson began, but you weren't about to complain.

Speaking of infodumping, sometimes you and he will spend an evening together just... straight up infodumping on each other. And you both love it. You both really enjoy learning and being in each other's presence, so it works out well. Once you've been together for a while, he will even let you lay your head on him while the infodumping is occurring. At first, Tech was very hesitant with physical touch; it fended to overwhelm him pretty quickly. However, as your relationship progressed, he became more comfortable with your touch- and sometimes even initiating physical contact himself.

When Tech discovered your love for astronomy, he wanted to show you so many different things! It's one thing to look at/learn about celestial objects while looking through a telescope; it's another thing entirely to be on a ship, sitting in front of those same celestial objects. He'll take you on the Marauder to see everything- nebulas, asteroid fields, gas giants, all types of stars; you name it, he takes you to see it. He loves being able to show you different parts of the galaxy and teaching you about them. It's one of the many ways he shows you how much he loves you.

-

Thanks for reading! If you want a ship request like this one, drop it in my ask box, and don't forget to reblog 💚 it may take a little bit, but I'll get to it eventually!

[tfp-enthusiast]

hello! first time requesting a matchup, hope i did this alright. either faction is fine.

i’m short, in my early 20s, (ftm) trans, autistic, have a bad case of baby face and i dress comfortably (sweatpants/tshirts/light jackets or flannels to make up for the discomfort of my binder). i haven’t medically transitioned yet (sadly) but i plan to when i can afford it. i have shoulder length dyed hair, one side is white and the other black. i’m usually at home (because of dysphoria/anxiety) doing self assigned chores or writing but i have a few friends that i hang out with sometimes. i’m definitely not a conversationalist, and i unintentionally give one word answers to everything. i have three geckos, all selfish little bastards i love. i cling to any rule i can, i hate to waste someone’s time by being a bother. i play a lot of video games (animal crossing, botw/totk, smash bros) and practice german (still learning) when i’m bored. i have drawing, painting and writing as hobbies. i get overwhelmed really easily in loud or busy spaces and i just get very quiet. i listen to a lot of 80s music to cope with anxiety.

i hope that this is enough to match me up with somebot special. thank you! -💫

[This is my first request for a Match-up so sorry if it's a little underwhelming or something.]

]Btw. i know no one asked but I actually speak german! It's funny to me because I learned that a lot of blogs I follow learn/are german. idk why I said it but anyways-]

Match-up: Breakdown

You would probably meet while he's on a mission or in a fight because he tends to forget that he should keep a low profile.

No matter how you meet, he would take because he wouldn't know what to do now that you saw him and the Autobots did the same- why can't he do the same? (yes, he thinks the bot's just picked their humans up)

When he brings you the ship he would try to keep you secret, the vehicons and Soundwave know about you but don't care, and he will ask you thousands of questions when alone.

He will call you cute because of the way your face looks, if you don't like it he would still do it but it just slips out of him sometimes, and then tell you that you have the coolest hair he ever saw. Like he knows that humans die their hair but he never saw two colored hair before.

He doesn't really understand that you have dysphoria and what that really is but he understands that it may be a touchy subject for you so he doesn't ask. But he looks a little into it is a little offended when he finds out jow much money you need so that you can be comfortable in your body, like, wtf, why do humans do that??? for cybertronians a procedure like changing your gender isn't really that much of a big thing but then again there isn't much to change on cybertronians.

Tries to hug you but if you don't like that he will focus on telling you how he thinks that you are beautiful and nothing could change the way he thinks about you etc.

If you don't like physical contact he can also switch to verbal affection, he's not picky about it.

He also get's a little frustrated about your one word answers and likes to tease you about it. He will do that no matter if in a relationship or not but when you are in a relationship he will say that he needs a hug and/or a kiss as a make up for you not talking to him much.

He also likes the way you dress because you look relaxed to him that way and he somehow would think that people that wear more thighter clothes are stressed or serious, you know what I mean? (cause I don't tbh)

When he learns he can't just keep you and let's you go to your home, you get around 6 hours for yourself bc he can get clingy once he likes someone, he will probably complain a little that you don't leave your home unless he's there but if you explain him why he doesn't anymore. (he can relate a bit but also thinks he shouldn't talk about such topics)

Introduce him to video games he will lose his shit. He quickly learns to love Nintendo games, almost everything they ever dropped, and wants to play at least 3 hours a day with you.

He thinks your geckos are cute but he doesn't really care aoubt them that much, he still loves to watch you care about them and laughs with you when they do something silly or don't move even though you lay their food right in front of them. (fun fact: I had 2 geckos and they where just so lazy that they never moved and sometimes they waited for a grasshopper to jump in front of them so they wouldn't have to move XD)

He is really confused when he sees/hears you practice german. He knows that there are many different languages on earth but he's surprised that they sound so wierd. He would after some time probably ask you if you can teach him what you know about it because he finds different languages so fascinating.

He thinks the music you listen to is a little wierd but he finds comfort in it and finds himself listening to it even though he is alone.

[therapy-ghost]

hey there! I’m sending info for the match exchange :0

* pronouns: she/her

* interested in being shipped with the boys

* hobbies: singing in a band, reading fantasy novels, taking long naps, collecting things like stickers/journals/postcards, drawing, crocheting

* i'm an INFJ Ravenclaw (super slay)

* personality time! (oh gosh)

* i'm the type of person that people regard as being very well adjusted but honestly i'm having a mental breakdown most of the time.

* i'm a deeply empathetic person, i care a lot about others and sometimes i forget to care for myself because of it. if someone i care about is in trouble, or needing my help, i will drop everything i'm doing to assist them. i also love sending care packages and letters to people.

* i have taken in many of my friends throughout my life because they needed a place to stay. unfortunately, this aspect of my personality has also led to me being scorned many times (i see the good in people and tend to overlook the bad).

* BECAUSE of that scorn though, i have developed some trust issues.

* on the flip side of my sensitive/kind nature, i can be very feisty. when i'm frustrated i just want to beat up something, and i become very passionate towards injustice. my friends say i'm like a kitten with a knife.

* additionally, i would consider myself a brave person. I don't struggle to have hard conversations with people (i don't like them but I'll do it), I've stood up to every bully I've ever had, and I've asked out every crush. unfortunately, this has led to me being rejected multiple times (contributing to my sense of no one ever being able to love me)

* due to my trust issues and rejections, i tend to feel like an outsider in most of my friend groups. it can be very lonely.

* TO FINISH IT OFF (this has become too long), i would consider myself a wise/intelligent person (i give good advice), resilient, but also easy going.

* i'm a words of affirmation girlie, so i would love in a relationship to feel supported and welcome when i often don't feel accepted in a space.

* i also would love someone who doesn't mind me going on about my hyperfixations for hours (which i will do when i get comfortable).

* i'm also very touch starved but i will never initiate it (i like when my friends hug me but i will never go to hug them first).

hope that information was helpful! i realize i sound crazy

hey! Thanks for the patience and here’s you match ups!!!

For Avatar; the last airbender, I match you up with Zuko!

trust issues; am I right?

but no, he needs someone, like now.

he is also very touched starved but is to much of a dork to take your hand on his own so you will need to do it for him(we all know he is thinking it)

he will tell you horrible jokes and misses the punch line most of the time, but he wants to make you laugh.

very protective, wants to always be with you (especially if you are part of team avatar/boomerang)

for Harry Potter, I match you up with Draco Malfoy!

….what can I say… it works

you are definitely to good of an influence on him that his father hates you… but I don’t think his mom will mind to much.

you definitely make him think about his choices and the death eaters and you make him question if he wants that life or a different with you.

thinks ‘Pottah!’ Is trying to steal you… and every other guy at hogwarts if they talk to you so he is a bit jealous.

will show off his magic skills to you

and for Marvel, I match you up with Steve Rogers!

He is 100% gonna make you feel safe, and loved, and like he is the man to trust.

he is the definition of the perfect man if I say so

likes watching you sing and if you are just singing to him he will try and join you

keeps you as far away from his hero work as he can(if you don’t want to be a hero)

100% used to collect post cards as well so this can be your shared hobbie.

thanks for your patience and I hope you liked it!

[justsomerandomfanfic]

Hi! If you're still taking matchup requests could I please get one for LOTR and The Hobbit? Thanks so much 😊

I would probably prefer a male ship, and I go by she/her pronouns. I'm autistic with scoliosis and chronic joint pain that affects every joint in my body, from my hands to my ankles. I'm honestly not very good at taking care of myself because I often forget to eat and have a hard time letting myself rest even when I'm in pain. I'm really short like 4' 10" tall (142 cm) with long wavy brown hair and glasses. I don't feel comfortable leaving the house without a veil (bandana) or my Mjolnir necklace on.

I'm a witch whose main focus is on working with different spirits. I'm also currently planning to study Greek so I can go to college for Anthropology and study Mediterranean and Eastern European folk magic. My other hobbies include sewing, writing, journaling and drawing.

I'm very witty and good at making people laugh. I am very friendly and very sweet and I try really hard to be a good person, but if I feel wronged or like you've hurt someone I love I can actually become quite cold. I love people but I'm also an introvert who needs my space to just sit and zone out. I'm very very knowledgeable about a huge array of different things. I'm a big believer that humanity has the capacity for good and I love telling stories.

Thanks so much love, I hope you have a spectacular day/night! Take care of yourself and remember to drink lots of water!

Hello! Thank you for requesting a matchup! I am excited for you to see this bad boy ;) I hope you like it <33333

---

---

Lord Of The Rings;

Samwise Gamgee:

🥔 You met Sam when he and his Hobbit friends went to Rivendell for figuring out who's going to take the ring to Mordor; you lived in Rivendell, being great friends with Lord Elrond, (you had pretty cool witchy powers that helped Elrond sometimes)

🥔 While the meeting was going on, you wandered a bit with Sam, he seemed a bit bored hanging around and waiting so you offered him some company; you both go to know each other, you learned that Sam loved gardening and plants in general, and Sam found out that you liked to write and draw

🥔 You had to stay back with Elrond when Sam went with Frodo and the other Fellowship members, but Sam promised that after the ring was destroyed, he'd come and see you before he went home; you both felt an incredibly strong connection between the two of you, and you had shed a few tears for Samwise The Brave as he left

🥔 After Sam got back, you reunited and spoke the entire time he was waiting for Frodo to wake up; Sam told you all about what happened and all the orcs he faced, you couldn't help but smile as he told you everything

🥔 It was hard for Sam to leave you, so he asked if you wanted to come with him, and of course, you said yes; there, Sam cooked you the best foods, (for lunch, dinner, tea time, elevensies, and whenever), he is always there to remind you to eat and rest, (which he cleaned out a storage room for you to have as a resting room whenever you got overstimulated and need to rest in peace and quiet, (such a little gentleman <3)

---

The Hobbit;

Bilbo Baggins:

🌱 You met Bilbo when you were trying to get all the Dwarves to stop tossing his dishes around, even though none of them broke, you were worried about the Hobbit, you and your Dwarven friends had basically barged in and you felt pretty bad for that; you did apologize to Bilbo many times, offering to clean up after they were all done eating, (you knew that they were going to make a huge mess), and Bilbo was like (ू•ᴗ•ू)

🌱 You also helped Bilbo when he fainted, bringing him to his chair as you waved your hand to fan him, asking Ori to be a dear and bring you a glass of water for the poor Hobbit; when Bilbo awoke, he was still (ू•ᴗ•ू) and thought you were so pretty and sweet (please don't smile at him, you'll give him a heart attack)

🌱 Finally on the journey to the mountain, you rode alongside Bilbo, you both talking about everything and anything, from his love for peace and quiet and you agreeing, to your love for writing, and him agreeing; Bilbo is really interesting in all your interests, especially when you told him that you were a witch (you've bewitched him)

🌱 Bilbo also becomes quite protective of you as the days and nights go by, from making sure you have something to eat when dinner is made over the fire, and making sure you are taking breaks when you need them, and even cuddling you at night if you are too cold, (he asks first, he's such a gentleman); you fell deeper in love with the Hobbit after you had lost your favorite Mjolnir necklace during an orc fight, and Bilbo searched the grass until he found it for you, (now it was your turn to (ू•ᴗ•ू) your heart was a-fluttering)

🌱 Bilbo is in love, his heart skipping a beat with every little laugh you expel, his stomach filling up with beautiful blue butterflies, he always sighs dreamily when he thinks of you; you are obviously in love as well, obsessed with his little curls, the way his nose twitches when he's thinking or otherwise, and when he cares so much for your mental and physical well-being, you can't get over him

---

[dinpascal]

Little, Green Stinker — Din Djarin

Summary: Grogu, at the wise, young age of fifty years, was actually quite the matchmaker. 

The more time you spent with the Mandalorian’s tiny, green foundling, the more you began to understand how genuinely intelligent he was. Though he still had difficulty in the language department, it was as if he excelled in every other category. 

It began with simple things, such as a particular object being discussed and he would gesture or look in the direction of the said object. As you and the Mandalorian discussed where to head to next, still on the run from the baby’s captors, you made a passing comment about the sun and how blistering it’s rays were on this particular planet. The majority of it was filled with sand, though was less barren than Tattooine. The Child chittered at your feet, previously occupied with drawing various shapes in the sand but now very clearly requesting your attention. 

As you looked down at him, expecting he was wanting validation for his newest drawing, you were surprised to find his arm lifted and clearly gesturing towards the sky — exactly where one of the planet’s two suns sat. In clear surprise, a few unintelligible words spilled from you as you attempted praise, causing the Mandalorian’s attention to lift from the map between you. 

It took him no time at all to catch himself up to speed.

“Yes!” You exclaimed, briefly turning to meet his gaze before back to the baby. “That’s the sun!”

With clear affection, the Mandalorian also praised him with, “Good job, kid” before returning his attention back to the map. 

However, as time progressed, it became more than just associating objects with words. He soon began contributing to conversation. When he’d make grabby hands towards the compartment he knew held the food, you’d off-handedly ask if he was hungry, never truly expecting a response. 

When you stood to unlock the compartment (now locked so the little rascal could no longer get in it himself), you caught movement out of the corner of your eye.

“Did... Did you just nod at me?”

Grogu nodded once more, watching you with an expectant look that very clearly said, ‘can I get my food now?’. Nearly tripping over something in your excitement, you immediately turned towards the ladder to the cockpit and struggled to simultaneously keep yourself on your feet. “Mando! Mando, he just nodded at me!”

As you and the Mandalorian celebrated his newest achievements, Grogu gave you both the uncanny impression he was not as impressed with you both as you were with him. 

With each year, however, you began to notice just how bright he was. When the Mandalorian would climb into the cockpit after bathing, both you and the Child idling in the pilot’s chair, you quickly stood and offered the man a smile. Grogu, secured in your arms, babbled happy nonsense and offered a semblance of a wave towards his adopted father.

“We don’t have much longer until we’ll arrive.” He told you, settling himself in his seat and pressing a few buttons. Grogu then wiggled in your hold and you quickly relinquished and set him gently onto his feet. 

As if saying goodbye, he offered a quick coo before disappearing down the ladder, promptly leaving you and the Mandalorian alone. The latter hadn’t seemed to notice, still busying himself with the ship and keeping his hands busy. 

“I’m thinking he may speak soon.” You told him, gently smiling as you recalled your newest activity — drawing clouds, oceans, anything around you that he could indicate towards and show his understanding. 

The Mandalorian gave no indication he’d heard you, leaning slightly forward to secure the little, silver ball his foundling seemingly held a keen obsession for. After a moment, he drew you from your own thoughts. “You have quite a relationship with him.” He paused, leaning back into his seat and seemingly admiring the stars laid out in front of you both. You missed the slight tilt of his helmet, just enough so he could watch you from the corner of his eye. “He’s seemed happier. Since you’ve joined.”

You twisted your hands together, mostly to give yourself something to do. Just being in his simple presence, seemingly with his full attention, frayed at your very nerves. “He’s very, very special.” You softly exclaimed, smiling fondly at just the thought of the little thing. 

Perhaps, without the helmet, you would have noticed the way his eyes softened as he admired you. Or the way that once he looked at you, it was almost impossible to look away. 

The little swamp rat’s true intentions weren’t discovered for sometime, however. 

As time went on, Grogu would make himself more and more scarce each time you and the Mandalorian were in near proximity. When the Mandalorian would return with a quarry, clearly in need of some aid with a few injuries, his adopted son would abruptly fall sleepy and whine until you bundled him up and deposited him safely into his hammock. When you’d request an extra day on a particular planet, where the sunsets were splashes of purple twisted with a cool blue, Grogu would hobble off to the side to begin collecting new rocks for his collection and leave the two of you to admire the view alone. 

Unsurprisingly, it was the Mandalorian who noticed first.

“I don’t think we’re giving him enough credit.”

His voice drew your eyes, busy trying to scrub the stains out of the baby’s little gown. Occasionally, he would run by squealing and cooing as he chased a butterfly, as naked as the day (you assumed) he was born. “What do you mean?”

His gaze followed Grogu, perched on a box and idly rubbing a cloth over one of his blasters. It was incredibly domesticated, the two of you doing two various “household” activities while your son kept himself gleefully occupied. “Perhaps he’s growing more independent.” He began, helmet momentarily flicking in your direction before back to the green baby. “He was once much more needy. Didn’t particularly like being in a room on his own.”

You hummed your agreement, recalling some of the earliest memories you had with the two of them. Grogu almost always was no more than five feet from one of you. 

“I think he’s purposely leaving us alone.”

You nearly dropped the board you’d been scrubbing against. Grogu purposely leaving you and Mando alone? Why on earth would he—, “He wants his parents to be together.” You reasoned, seemingly everything immediately slipping into place at that moment. Of course he’d want his momma and papa to be together. “Do you really think he understands that much?” 

A soft noise filtered through his modulator and you’d spent enough time with him to know it was either a sigh or a hum. “It wouldn’t surprise me.” 

You sighed and rose to set out the tiny robes to dry, sleeves dripping from where they’d accidentally slipped into the water. “Well, what are we going to do about it?” A warm, secure touch circled your wrist, drawing you close enough to where he could comfortably reach you with both hands. You silently sucked in a breath, cheeks instantly flaming and suddenly forgetting how to think properly. 

He drew your sleeves into both hands, seemingly unaffected by the water beginning to soak through the worn leather he wore on both. He twisted the cloth until the remaining water fell onto the sand at your feet, repeating the process at your other sleeve. “What will we do about it?” He parroted softly, fingers now brushing the exposed skin at your wrist. 

You swallowed, doing your upmost to ignore the flutters building in your stomach and the shocks of electricity shooting up your spine and into your fingertips. “Well, I... We...?”

He hummed a gentle sound of amusement, taking pity on your attempts at speaking and rising to his feet. He brushed a finger against your cheek, hardly a touch but feeling like so much more.

“We’ll take it one day at a time... for the Child’s sake.” 

For some reason, you knew the last part of his sentence wasn’t true. Perhaps it was the way he seemed to linger close to you for a breath, before tapping the underside of your chin and disappearing into the Razor Crest.

That little, green stinker.

[cal-kestis]

You Will Never Be Alone Again | Din Djarin x Fem!Reader

(Epilogue of The Aftermath of Losing Everything)

moodboard/sketch/gifs made by me, please don’t repost :)

Summary: Each morning, he’s there, holding you with his smiling lips pressed against your neck and his heart beating against your chest.  (Set after S2) Rating: M   Word Count: 3018 Warnings/Tags: Soft!Din, FLUFF, no use of ‘Y/N’, suggestive content

[PART I] // [PART II] // [PART III] // [Read on AO3] // [Series Masterlist]

xi. 

It’s strange not waking up by yourself, strange to feel blanketed in a kind of warmth and comfort, not even the early morning suns could radiate.

Sometimes, you think this must be some wild fantasy, a sweet sublime dream that could evaporate into smoke if you dare open your eyes.

But each morning, he’s there, holding you with his smiling lips pressed against your neck and his heart beating against your chest. It’s no secret you love him, it’s written all across your face even with a peripheral glance. Falling for him happened fast and a long, long time ago. Yet in these quiet moments when you’re in the place between wakefulness and sleep, you think you’re still cascading over the crest — falling for the tiniest pieces of him that others would need a magnifying glass to see.

Like those delicate wrinkles that frame the corners of his brown eyes when he looks at you, the way they deepen as he smiles. It’s hard to describe how beautiful those lines are… what they mean. Wrinkles don’t develop overnight. No, he’s smiled enough times for those creases to permanently etch themselves into his skin. It makes your heart soar knowing that, despite all he’s been through, he’d allowed himself those sparse moments of happiness. You’ve hopelessly fallen in love with the lines beside his eyes, evidence that a bright side can exist even in the darkest of hours. 

And still, perhaps something you love even more is the way he kisses you until you forget every night you’d ever lay awake feeling alone in the universe.

It’s all so strange in the best, most beautiful way.

Din has given you so much and you only hope he can see your heart, the words carved on it — poems about him, his eyes, the charming lines that tug at the corners. You hope he can see how you’ve kept every word he’s every whispered against your skin, how you’ve inscribed them onto your beating soul: secrets and promises only the two of you will ever get to know, your own name scribbled by his lips a thousand times. You’ll treasure the invisible markings forever. Your heart’s covered in him and you just hope he can see.

With Din, life seems more meaningful, peaceful, beautiful… full. And though frightening shadows still lurk, you know you don’t have to face them alone.

Of course, there are times you worry, moments when he still seems trapped in his head, sinking into deep waters with that silver ball clutched in his hand. But he has you now, his liferaft, one with patched up holes and dents that will always come to pull him back up to the surface.

On those nights when he gets lost in the treacherous tsunami of his mind, you try to give back to him everything he’s so generously offered you. And even as you draw rasped sighs and choked cries and broken moans from his lips, your fingers painting patterns across his body… you know what heals him most are the moments after: the way your breath slows down to match his, how your lips press so gently over his eyelids until they close and project dreams of you as he sleeps.

Meant for me, he’d once said. Or maybe, meant for you.

—

xii.

In the sacred moments you and Din have to yourselves — no quarry to chase, no demons to face — you find yourselves on beautiful secluded planets like this one, surrounded by towering trees and lush rolling hills and long blades of grass and calm creek cadences. Somehow, each new system is more stunning than the last, and every time he opens the ramp to his ship, he intently watches your wonderstruck reaction as your eyes take in a fantastical new planet and gorgeous environment.

Visiting new planets off-duty comes with its own routine. He walks with you as you explore with wide eyes, sits beside you when you find a colorful plant to draw, lifts his helmet ever so slightly when the desire to kiss you — your cheek, your temple, your shoulder — becomes too overwhelming. And when night falls, you both retire to his ship, where he can freely remove every piece of armor and kiss every inch of your skin until it’s all you can dream of.

Since the confrontation at the Imperial base, Din’s also taken it upon himself to train you. Not in the ways of the Jedi, of course. That, you’re learning to study on your own. Din trains you like a Mandalorian — a zealous approach to weapons and warriorship. He’s a patient and compassionate teacher, and it only ties your heart to his in a tighter knot. With his gentle guidance, handling a blaster is hardly an obstacle and it only takes a month or two before you become well-acquainted with the darksaber he’d hidden in his storage cabinet for so long.

When he’d finally told you the story of the ancient weapon of legend, gravity had seemed to press harder against his back, making his shoulders slope and his head hang even lower. Because, on the day he’d parted with his son, he’d not only removed the mask of his Creed, he’d also acquired the crown of a cursed planet. And he still doesn’t know which one weighs heavier atop his head.

After that, you’d dedicated yourself to training with renewed vigor — wanting to be prepared if ever the target on his back brought upon old Imperial enemies or new ones who sought to usurp him from the throne he never wanted.

Today, much like the other times you’d trained with him, it’s mostly just chopping at trees and bushes. You can’t deny how much stronger you feel just holding the Mandalorian weapon and knowing you can defend yourself even without the Force.

There’s a part of you, however, that feels like Din’s holding back. Whenever you’d asked when you’d be ready to spar with him, eager to test your newfound skills against something that can actually fight back, he’d simply readjusted your stance with gentle hands and asked you to show him the different sword strokes he’d taught you.

“Very good,” Din praises as you step forward and swing the darksaber through the air, slicing clean through a thin branch.

“Well, that tree had it coming,” you scoff, crossing your arms with over-exaggerated toughness. “I’ve had enough of your bark, tree. It’s about time you leaf.”

“Puns. You’re upset,” he says, not a question.

“I’m not upset,” you lie, trying to put on your best sabacc face. But his helmet tilts in a way that’s far too knowing for a darkened, T-shaped visor, and you sigh in defeat under his scrutinizing stare. “Fine. I just… I just think I’m ready to up the ante here. And I feel like you’re holding back.”

He stares at you for a moment, studiously looking you up and down.

“Your posture is too slouched,” he explains, changing the subject again. “Go back to ready position.”

“Don’t do that,” you heave out another exasperated sigh.

“Ner kar’ta...”

“No, don’t ‘ner kar’ta’ me. Just because you’ve got this shiny sword,” you argue, the glowing saber humming in your hand as you brandish it back and forth, “and you’re technically a king or whatever—”

“Mand’alor,” he interrupts. “And I’m not.”

“—doesn’t mean everything you say is law. I want you to fight me. I’m ready,” your voice softens, stepping closer to him as your pleading hands wrap around the back of his neck. “I want to really learn from you.”

“We’re not doing this,” he answers, despite willingly staying trapped in the cage of your arms.

But you don’t back down. Instead, you lean forward, lips barely a hair's breadth from his helmet before you boldly kiss the spot where his mouth would be, lingering and watching how the tinted panel fogs up. The print of your mouth marks the dark visor and it makes you grin. 

“Fight me, Mando,” you whisper, all sultry bravado laced with a tease that prickles the skin beneath Din’s armor.

“Ready position,” he rasps like he’s annoyed at himself. 

A metallic, musical sound rings in the empty forest as he unsheathes the beskar spear behind his back. And like a giddy child, you bounce on your feet and step backward, swinging the darksaber in your hands before taking your stance. 

Din stands sturdy just a few feet away, spear gripped tightly in his gloves. He slowly lowers himself, knees bent just slightly, an air of strength and confidence surrounding him. Then, hardly perceptible, he nods.

You dig your heels into the soil, your boots squashing the grass below your feet. With your legs spread wide, you draw the darksaber up to the side of your head, the blinding glow casting a white halo on your cheek. Narrowing your eyes and taking a deep breath, you charge forward at lightning speed, zeroing in on the shiny armor in front of you.

At the last second, Din dodges your attack, stepping to the side and watching as you rush past him. You somehow manage not to trip over your own feet and hastily twirl around to face him again. But Din’s already got the point of his spear aimed at the side of your throat.

“You’re relying too much on your speed,” he explains, spear hovering just below your ear. “Size up your opponent first. Figuring out their weakness is more valuable than using up all your strength. Go again.”

You huff at him but get back into ready position, breathing deep in through your nose and out through your mouth. This time, you take a moment to assess him for weak spots. There aren’t many of course, not visible at least. But you decide the side of his stomach is your best bet.

The moment he nods his head, you take a leap forward and twist your wrist, swinging the blade toward his waist. His spear spins swiftly to block the strike, your weapons meeting in a clash of sparks and high-pitched whistles. You summon all your strength to push the saber against his spear, watching as the silver metal turns orange under the intense laser’s heat. And just when you feel like you’re gaining the high ground as Din’s body bends under your advance, he sweeps his boot beneath you and you fall backward, losing grip of the darksaber.

“That was better,” he says with approval, scanning your body as you lay on the ground and groan loudly. “You okay?” He gently wonders, coming closer and extending a gloved hand toward you.

With shaking fingers, you reach for him. And the moment you feel his grip tighten around your hand, an idea sparks. Without another thought, you yank him forward onto the ground beside you. He lets out a surprised grunt when he hits the dirt and you take full advantage of his shock, straddling his hips and trapping his arms beneath your legs. You extend your hand out to the side and, within seconds, the darksaber comes flying back into your fist. With a bright flash, you ignite the laser blade near his throat.

“That’s cheating,” he says, but you can hear the proud smile in his voice.

“I simply assessed my opponent’s weakness,” you grin, retracting the saber into its hilt and leaning down until you’re nose-to-nose with his helmet. “Just so happens, his weakness is me.”

“Good girl,” he says, and you can’t fight the way his praise sends a fluttering warmth to your belly.

You kiss his helmet again with an exaggerated smacking sound before getting off of him and saying, “Let’s go again.”

Din spars with you for nearly two hours, offering gentle advice each time he bests you (which is most of the time) and showering you with praises whenever you find a way to get the upper hand. It fills you with unmatchable strength and confidence.

“That’s enough for today, verd’ika,” he says, slightly breathless as he brushes dirt off your clothes. “It’s getting dark. Let’s head inside.”

You smile at him, filled with an intense urge to kiss him. So, you reach for his helmet, slowly, just in case. His head turns left and right, checking if the coast is clear, before nodding. You lift the beskar slightly, just enough to reveal his mouth and his neatly-trimmed mustache, and press a gentle kiss to his lips.

“Thank you, Din,” you whisper as you set his helmet back in its place. You can almost see the bemused look on his face as he stares at you.

And as you walk back to the ship, a re-energized bounce in your step, you decide to tease him one last time, turn around, and smirk. “Meet you in the fresher.”

— 

xiii.

Din’s hair hangs in waves over his forehead as he gazes down at you, leaning on his left forearm to stay suspended over your body. 

He smells delicious, like his herb-scented soap and the delicious meal he’d cooked for you tonight. His skin is glazed in a radiant sheen and his eyes somehow glow in the dim lighting of your shared quarters.

You’ve learned to appreciate rare nights like this, when there are no jobs to keep him away from you for days at a time. When your eyes get to unabashedly roam over the golden expanse of his skin, without heavy armor or layers of cloth in your way. When you get to listen to his voice for hours on end as his hand traces lines and circles into your skin.

“What are you thinking about?” You ask him, noticing how his entranced stare focuses on your lips when you speak.

He strokes a calloused finger over your cheekbone, then under the curve of your lips, until his thumb finds a resting place over your chin and gently swipes back and forth.

“You,” he answers honestly, leaning down to kiss you, tasting your smile on his tongue. He lingers there for a long moment, hanging from your lips like a man on the edge of falling though he’s already fallen countless times before.

“That’s all?” You whisper, feeling his hot breath brush against your mouth.

He rests his forehead against yours, his nose rubbing along the side of your own.

“And how much the kid would have loved this planet,” he continues wistfully. “Running through the grass and catching frogs or whatever he could eat.” 

Your soft laugh is bittersweet as he reminisces over his son, the corners of his eyes wrinkling mere centimeters from your face.

“Thinking about how he would have liked watching us train together. He’d probably cheer for you to win,” Din chuckles when you scrunch your nose and shake your head doubtfully. Then, his face softens and his eyes glisten. “Grogu would have loved you.”

An errant tear falls from Din’s lashes and drops onto your cheek, and there's little you can do to keep your own from getting mixed in — a tiny melancholy river forming atop your skin. Your hands cup either side of his face, and you lean forward to kiss the spot where the tear had left a small trail right below his eye.

“In some ways, it’s like I know him now,” you murmur against Din’s cheekbone. “Because I know you. I can feel it — the pieces of you that will be part of him forever. I would love him too. I already do.”

He whispers your name again and again, and each time, it’s like he’s making a wish on a star. 

“Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum,” you whisper, kissing his lips sweetly.

When you draw backward against your pillow, he latches onto your mouth once more and kisses you until you’re breathless.

“There aren’t words, ner kar’ta, ” he says quietly, fingers brushing gently over your hair. “Nothing can explain what you mean to me.”

When Din makes love, you can feel nothing else but him — his body, his soul, his heart. Every touch and movement is energized by a deep intention to let you know what he sometimes struggles expressing in words. But you’ve become fluent in him, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt how each kiss translates to: I love you.

Each thrust of his hips means: I want you.

Each ragged moan reveals: I need you.

Each soft caress says: I’d do anything for you.

And each time his forehead meets yours, he declares: I have found my family.

As you both try to catch your breath, he flops back down onto the bed beside you. He hums happily when he feels you hold tight to him, squeezing his middle with your arms and placing a kiss over his heart.

“Good night, Din,” you mumble, yawning as you nuzzle your face against his chest and bury yourself deep beneath the covers.

“Sweet dreams,” he says, pressing his lips into your hair.

You tilt your chin up just slightly, wanting the last image you see before you drift off to be his beautiful face. But his stare is far away, lost in thought once again. You follow his line of sight, beginning at his shining eyes and landing on the collection of drawings hung beside his door. And the pictures that reflect in his glossy irises are the finished portrait of him beside the sketch of you and Grogu displayed proudly in the center.

Someday, you swear to yourself, those images will be more than just pencil scratches on parchment. Someday, your small chosen family will be whole.

When you close your eyes — your head resting over the warm skin of his chest, his heart marching steadily under your cheek — you dream of the day Din and his son finally reunite, with you standing by his side. And even if that’s still a far-off fantasy, you can rest easily knowing two things for sure:

Tomorrow, you’ll wake up wrapped in Din’s arms. And, for as long as you live, neither of you will ever be alone again.

End Note: Thank you to anyone who's read this story. It's been a labor of love for me and I'm especially grateful to readers who left encouraging feedback. As for me, I'll be around. I'm working on another Javi x Reader story (inspired by yet another TS song — off evermore this time). If you haven't read my other one, please check it out! It's called "If I Could Never Give You Peace." Talk soon! Mando’a Glossary: Ner kar’ta = My heart (kar’ta = heart [kah-ROH-ta]; ner = my [nair]) Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum. = I know you forever [nee kar-TILE garh dah-RAH-soom] ⎿ “It's the same word as 'to know,' 'to hold in the heart,' kar'taylir. But you add darasuum, ‘forever,’ and it becomes something rather different.” — Republic Commando: Triple Zero Verd' ika = Little Warrior (affectionately) [vair-DEE-kah]

Please reblog & comment to show your support! I’d love to hear your thoughts!!

Taglist: @sarahjkl82-blog @pedro-pastel @mavendeb @tailormotelkamzoil @unexistant @karkii @hwjdykqueillmjwkqu @httpwale @chiara-cannot-sleep​ @niiight-dreamerrrr​

[tundrainafrica]

Note: Instead of posting a meta or a fic today, allow me to take a quick break from that because I think I really need to appreciate some people here and the fandom overall.  

February 7, 2021. 

Today, I turned 24 and my boyfriend surprised me with a gift I think I’ll be taking to heart for a very long time. 

The story behind the gift was as precious (or even more precious) as the gift itself and I thought I’d share it since it turned out some content creators were involved in this gift and I very much want to express how much this gift has defined this day for me and will place my 24th birthday as one of those birthdays I don’t think I’ll ever forget. 

Apparently, I had casually dropped both my tumblr and my ao3 account during one of our conversations and somewhere around November he had started looking through my bookmarks, my posts on tumblr and some of my interactions with people in the fandom.

I should have seen it coming. It had started with my boyfriend suddenly asking about my hyperfixation with Levihan.

Sav? Shipping? Sav? Binge reading ships and meta posts? Sav? Gushing about a fictional ship?

And I remember gushing about this with my seemingly uninterested boyfriend a long night after explaining what was oddly the most out of character thing for someone like me. 

I was sharing with him my metas and hcs and maybe, I was dropping a few of my favorite quotes along the way and it turned out he was interested. Suddenly he was asking me about my favorite fics, my favorite scenes. Suddenly, he was rereading my favorite fics with me and a few times, he was quoting those same scenes. I did find out he was looking through my blog when I got a random message from a really sketchy tumblr telling me to open my facebook. 

I suspected a few times that he could be planning something. December passed with nothing and eventually he stopped asking so I clocked that as a fevered dream or unnecessary assuming on my end and didn’t think too much of it after. 

It turned out my boyfriend had messaged my favorite authors about their fics and he commissioned one of my favorite artists (if not my favorite) to draw a few photos and bound them into a Levihan Anthology 

And it feels fucking amazing to receive something like this. To get Levihan which helped me through the worst of 2020, bound forever as a book I can just open up and read anytime. And I guess tearing up at receiving such a gift had me thinking of a lot of things at once (which were always at the back of mind) but I thought of sharing now. 

The past year wasn’t easy. Actually. don’t think it’s an understatement to say this past year was dog shit. With the covid pandemic and all plans after that cancelled, I’m sure we can all agree we had our ups and downs. 

I had a lot of my own plans completely thrown out the window for numerous reasons. I had plans of going to law school part time while building a career. And, I got a job right after college to make these plans come true. In September the law school I got accepted to (after working so damn hard the past year to get accepted) denied my appeal for night classes. I decided to drop my enrollment to focus on my career. A week later, my job laid me off. 

And for once in my life, I wasn’t going anywhere. And I lived in a house where everyone was always doing something and as soon as I lost my job I was pressured to find another one. But as we all know, searching for a job during this pandemic isn’t easy. I was still reeling after having dropped my enrollment just to focus on my job only to lose that job the week after with no prior notice. Everyone around me was busy doing their own thing. I had no one to talk to and for a while, I was falling into this pit of depression. 

My days consisted of me hiding under the covers of my bed in between the few interviews I would take day to day. Around that time, I decided to binge watch Attack on Titan as well 

I was never one to get hyper fixated in ships. In fact, this was the first ship since Royai and Victuuri which I have been so passionate. And this is a whole new level of passion. I think this is the first time I’ve ever written so much in this small amount of time. It was slow going. Just like Levi and Hange’s relationship, my fixation with this ship was a slowburn. 

Those days alone, I was reading fanfiction by the bundle, I was scrolling through the Levihan tag like a simp, leaving kudos in ao3 on a throwaway account and just scrolling through random people’s tumblr accounts. 

What happened during the one month? And when I was alone, sad, lonely and stagnant with no one to talk to, when everyone around me was living their own lives, all I had alone in the bedroom was Levi and Hange’s stories to keep me company between interviews. 

And the meta analyses and headcanons I had about their relationship were teaching me things. They were teaching me that life was never about how quickly you progress or how far you go. Maybe the real winners in life are the ones who can build good relationships, build relationships so mutually satisfying they keep each other growing and in those few moments reading, headcanoning ships, I did realize, maybe even as stagnant as I was at that moment, my life wasn’t dogshit. 

No one’s life is dogshit for a few small bumps along the way. Sometimes it just is part of the process of growing, learning to get past the worse, learning to manage relationships. And maybe it’s these relationships which make life worth living. Maybe it’s these struggles depicted in these stories and the bounce back. Maybe it’s the love, the life, the emotions so carefully described and depicted in every single story which makes life, life. 

With every single fic I read and every single fan art I scrolled through. Levihan was teaching my things about love, loss and life. 

Sometimes, these fandoms are the things which can catch people before they fall too low into something. These works and stories authors and artists shared so generously were what pulled me out of this state and are what inspired me to explore this relationship for all the potential its worth and maybe share my own stories and headcanons which people may learn a thing or two from or maybe just find some comfort and hope in.  

And these inspirations eventually evolved to writing. Writing 10,000 words in a day in between three interviews? I never was a writer but somehow, I found myself spending hours exploring the themes of love, loss and life with our favorite pairing 

I didn’t start writing out of nowhere. I didn’t start making metas out of nowhere. I needed the right inspiration, the right content to get me into this point where I could continue writing, reading, meta-ing, appreciating, headcanoning and everything in between.

And I just wanted to express my gratefulness to every single person in the fandom who had made it possible for me to pull out of that blackhole. Fandoms are underrated and I believe there are so many lessons which can be learned from the right content and from the right people. 

To the people who so willingly went along with my boyfriend’s little project: 

@faerielleart​ I saved A LOT of your art and they’re sitting in my google photos under a folder called Levihan and maybe I did share a few of your photos (the cheeks one and the beast titan one and the les miserables) ones to my boyfriend unsolicited just to show him how beautiful Levihan can be. Thank you so much for these beautiful drawings.

@lizaloveslevihan​ You were one of the first people I talked with in this fandom and dreams really was one of those stories that fucked me up a little bit, had me make a few misses on the commute on the way home one day but maybe it did have me explore the angst genre a little more, maybe it did have me explore Levi’s character a little more. 

@ariadneamare​ YELLOW. OH GOD. You know those letters? The ones which Hange left Levi at the end of the story? I ended up copying and pasting them and sending them to my boyfriend right after reading and I remember talking to him about this. We might be facing that same type of story in the future and I guess that ended up becoming a lot of foundation of our discussion and I guess, it’s just proof that there is so much to learn from fanfiction. There’s just so much to explore and fanfiction as a genre just does not get the credit it deserves.

@fanmoose12​​ I was exploring your works even before I started this tumblr up again. Maybe it was even your works which got me building my own headcanons from Levihan and writing from there. And I think I did leave a few anonymous messages telling you how I started exploring other genres because of your fics. Your works got my out of my dark place, it got me exploring a lot of other genres and for that I’m eternally grateful.

And somehow, my boyfriend picked that all up from late night discussions and one-on-one metas. Surprisingly, he wasn’t just playing along to humor his girlfriend. He was exploring the themes of love, life, loss and Levihan right along with me. (And got spoiled about Hange’s death along the way… Oops.) 

And I am eternally grateful for that and I made sure to shower him with a lot of kisses after he kept me in the loop with what has been going on these past few months with his sudden interest in Levihan.

And this huge thank you goes out to all content creators (authors, artists, gif creators, shitposters alike). Sometimes you never know who’s thinking about your work, who’s shoehorning your works and quoting them to their best friends. Sometimes, you never will find out but your work had pulled someone out of a blackhole which they’ve been stuck in and sometimes you never know that your work has been that seemingly small thing that had taught them a lesson in love, life or relationships. Sometimes, that one work turned out to be an inspiration which got them writing and sharing their own stories or making their own drawings

And I guess, the point is, keep writing. Keep drawing. Keep sharing pouring your love, passion and emotions into works of art because you never really know whose heart you touched or whose life you changed.

I have a job now. I decided to push law school a few years back and maybe take the time to work on myself now and maybe spend the next months or maybe years writing metas and fanfictions. I was pulled out of my hole. I was inspired. I have my own stories to tell and I don’t think I would have been here if I hadn’t spent the last few months reading fic after fic, meta after meta, appreciating art after art, 

So anyway, I just wanted to share some pics of my favortie fics, immortalized in one anthology, all organized by my boyfriend. And I think he made some great decisions with these.

(Bookbinding credits to @mayerwien)

[karanoid]

about top joe discord

LET ME ADDRESS A FEW POINTS:

There has been many fear and anxiety regardless the top!joe discord I made. I understand how it gives my discord a bad reputation. Somebody has kindly reached out to me to ask me addressing several points, which I’m now gonna clarify:

1. I am racist, I asked why, and they said mostly because of my dismissive behavior to people who called me out for drawing yusuf adorned in gold jewelry which made their friends feel unsafe. So, I am a muslim and was raised in a muslim household and community. I am fucking brown.

I didn’t say it because you don’t need to know that about me. What bothers me is how some people feel the need to come to my inbox informing me “maam yusuf is a religious muslim who prays 5 times a day and do all the supplementary prayers all while he drinks alcohol and fuck nicky in the dailies, he wouldnt be wearing gold maam no maam.” as if I didn’t know any better. so please, now don’t do that. If you care so much about the littlest details like wearing gold then you’ll also call out yusuf because he draws living beings and drinks champagne. yes it’s true muslim men are forbidden from wearing gold AND silk but let’s not forget, nothing in the comic and movies imply yusuf has ever been religious. It’s easier to see nicolo as religious because he was a fucking priest. Yusuf was a fucking merchant, it’s easy to see that he’d be less faithful because he would have been travelling and seen many kind of people to broaden his horizons and not contained to a little bubble of hyper religious community. However, let me remind you: whether yusuf AND nicolo are religious or not is entirely UP TO THE AUTHOR/ARTIST. It’s totally fine to make him religious and if you can respect it THATS GREAT, I ALSO LIKE HIM THAT WAY, but please remember it’s not even canon and hey sometimes I just draw things because I like the aesthetics. Also please, do not harass writers for getting a thing or two incorrect, even white people cannot get christianity correct, even between two muslims could be a disagreement whether this fic’s yusuf is problematic or not. I wouldn’t even expect anything more and THAT’S OKAY. Just don’t be an ass to muslims of color in real life and don’t fall into the believe that it’s a religion of violence. you can say that greg made him that way bc he knew nothing better but hey, I have no problem with that. again, it’s fine to make him religious, I’d be delighted but it’s ALSO fine to make him not religious.

2. I think that people only write Top!Nicky out of political correctness. OKAY. I apologize for this. I thought like this because I have accounts telling me that they were pressured into writing top!nicky or they wanted more readerships so I make a BIG assumption. I realized this is only a small part of switch and top!nicky fics and the big bulk of this must be out of genuine care. So yeah, I apologize for thinking that people only write top!nicky out of political correctness. I think writers should be allowed to write whatever they want. Yes this includes top!Nicky. And in whatever kinks they want it. However, this still doesn’t change that the discourses do scare people away from writing top!joe. Write top!nicky however you want, but stop vague-blogging about top!joe. racism isn’t inherent to top!joe and you can always remind people to be mindful with their writings but discouraging people from writing top!joe is not the solution. 

3. Top!joe is racist and people in the discord are racist. Okay, I am gonna touch several aspects why top!joe discord is considered racist: (1) because I don’t like to switch them, therefore I am racist. Sorry that’s not how it works. I have a clear preference and that’s just how I roll. Besides, a lot of people in the discord (including me) think either they switch (because they are 900 yo) or joe just doesn’t like bottoming. I’m not the kind of people who refers to reality for fiction I consume but people who prefer to top or to bottom exist (2) i want to be away from accountability and responsibility. Nope. The reason I made it is because I wanted to gather people with same interest as mine. 

4. I paint Yusuf as aggressive and the whole discord like him being an aggressive top. I think this is the only reason why the discord is seen in a negative light. Because wow what a coincidence that someone vagueblogged my discord at the day I celebrated about Nicky suggesting 20 years and wrote a post about how Joe is allowed to be angry. And beside someone made the WRONG assumption that we are focusing on Joe’s anger and violence (what). Okay, I don’t know how to break this down. But I will try. First, yes I was overjoyed at the news. Because I’m one of the people that do not like feral!nicky headcanon. I liked it at first bc it was funny but then it was twisted into Nicky being cold. So I don’t like it (lol), I still like it though but like I don’t seriously think that way. However, I never liked the idea that Nicky suggested higher than Joe. Because then his character just doesn’t click with me, there was a cognitive dissonance for me because joe clearly says nicky’s heart overflows kindness, you can see nicky as a medic in the credit montage. Also, from their body language and from the way the movie set em up, I think Joe is the one who suggested higher and I am glad to be proven right. Second, I did write a post about how Joe is allowed to be angry at Booker. People agreed with me, so I was not alone. But the reason I wrote that post is not because I wanted to paint yusuf as aggressive, but because I’m tired at people who think Joe shouldn’t display any negative emotions. I think it’s out of character. I do NOT think Joe is aggressive. That is NOT his wholeass personality. If you looked at my tog art tag, never once I portrayed Joe as anything aggressive. If I do, please show me. Third, people are conflating this with my post where I reblogged with a comment that implies aggressive Joe isn’t racism. Okay in this, the context is IN BED. It’s Joe being aggressive in BED. It’s literally BED ROLES AND FANTASY. I don’t even have a particular scenario in my head when I reblogged that, the original post clearly refers to bed roles with manhandling and kinks etc. like, why would you spank someone in public? Lastly, about the discord, NOPE, most people in the discord agree that Joe is either a GENTLE DOM or SERVICE TOP. But in my opinion, if someone likes Joe as an aggressive top (again, bed roles baby) I really don’t think it’s racism. It’s just... projection? 

anyway, back to joe’s emotions, these are posts from a moroccan man (paragraph #7) and a brown woman whose posts I agree with. Let’s be real, people of color are expected to shut up in favor of white people’s fragile feelings.

Now, about racism in fandom. I understand the concern because muslim men are painted as violent and aggressive. You know what I will never forgive those radicals for taking away innocents lives and to leave a lasting damage in how muslims are perceived in the west. However, you have to keep in mind, Joe in the movie is far from being stereotyped. I mean, Gina and Marwan practically greenlit him? Now, you might have concerns that writers are gonna turn him into a walking stereotype which is... okay, I understand that concern. But the solution is to communicate this ‘hey I think you make him too stereotypical in this etc etc’ not “write more top!nicky AND shame top!joe” because again, top!joe is not inherently racist.

also some people mentioned that they hope I recognize racial bias in the ship. dude, that goes without saying, all aspects of your life will be influenced by racial biases. however, this kind of thing is not specific to fandom/shipping. Like I said I’m fucking brown, friends and families with facial features that cater to white expectation are treated better. I did say at the bottom of this post, yeah I did notice why it’s always a brown character who’s always openly mad. And that’s in itself a form of racial bias. Racial biases affect everyone, white or POC, it doesn’t matter. But I got an issue with how people think this is racism. like how convenient, if by falling to racial biases mean you are a racist then what about those white people who created this racial biases in the first place? and I noticed the persons who got the audacity to cry about everything in this fandom is white?? I mean okay, they don’t know what I am, but not everyone is comfortable with sharing their private information like ethnic group, faith, etc. what if they really don’t want to share it? Because like you said, racial bias, whether good or bad will affect me. Now, I don’t know what white people are feeling, I’m not white. However, based on my interactions with them. We’re all just people sharing same interest, it could be they fall into racial biases, but all we shared about are just regular HCs. Even people making a conscious effort to combat racial bias still in essence fall for racial bias. You just cannot escape it.

According to this post, fandom assumes that the bottom is the proxy of writers, I don’t think this is applicable to everyone but let’s just say it’s true and people tend to write about their projection better so I’m gonna assume the racism part comes from the fact that..yeah I do think the bottom usually gets more fleshed out as a result of them being the writers proxy, so somebody posted this in the discord which I agree because yes I do think there’s a lack about yusuf’s background especially when it comes to crusade era:

but since I know most writers aren’t muslims, to me it’s not so much about racism but they simply know nothing about it, and not always out of ignorance either but in this climate, if you get a thing or two wrong you’d get harassed. so *shrugs* I understand the reluctancy. But here’s the thing, this is not about top/bottom issue but because most of the fandom are white so they have more freedom in writing the white character. Anyway, plenty of people have projected themselves into yusuf already, the whole “top/bottom��� thing in this fandom is not even a thing. Yes, some writers project on the bottom so if you prefer bottom!joe that’s fine, somebody in the discord is doing a research and it turned out top!joe wasn’t even a CLEAR majority in JULY. So clearly they got their share already?

so please, let’s stop with the vitriol. if people are preferring top!joe it’s clearly because of different preferences. it’s not that deep. it’s the same way with how some people are preferring top!nicky. But we’re being driven out based on a hypothetical scenarios? like what do you want? for us to cease existing??? don’t be ridiculous.

I know people won’t listen to me. So this is my suggestion: LETS JUST IGNORE THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE. LET’S ALL JUST AGREE TO DISAGREE. 

[shadowdianne]

Fic writer review [Or a fic writer tag game if you prefer]

I was tagged by @naralanis and I can already see her grin all the way from where I am xd Thank you, dear, for the tag, let’s see what are my answers, shall we.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

*bursts out laughing* Adding both pseuds I have… 535 according to the account info but by counting them all I’m reaching 541 so I’m guessing it’s counting some drafts I need to re-find.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

I seriously hated you for this one xd I was going to do it by hand by I decided one-third there that I value my mental stability a little bit more xd according to the stats page back at a03 that number would be 1257884. It may be wrong. I think there should be a few more numbers up there but the majority of my works are one-shots so *shrugs* There’s also the fact that counting my ao3 things only is shaving off like half of it Xd Anyway, can we laugh at the fact that I’m a pain in the ass and that I’ve written a lot? More than I should have, that’s for sure

3. How many fandoms have you written for?

Trick question because I haven’t crossposted everything I wrote back in ffnet and I actually erased some fics from my account back there so the numbers are a little blurry there.

When I had the entirety of my work posted both in ffnet and a03 I had written for: Twilight (Bella/Alice) Glee (Faberry and there were a couple Pezberry and I don’t fucking remember the pairing name for Santana and Quinn), Harry Potter (Hermione/Ginny, Hermione/Narcissa, Hermione/Bellatrix) OUAT (SwanQueen and several oneshots focusing on the mad hatter and the blue fairy solely back at ffnet that were written in Spanish and never translated), I actually had a veeeery old au prompt of Frozen (Elsanna in where I wrote them as non sibilings), Rizzoli and Isles (Rizzles), Dishonored 2 (Emily Kaldwin/Alexi Mayhew), Lara Croft and Wonder Woman, Supergirl (SuperCorp/Supercat) I had a 100 one -or maybe two??- (Clexa), The Shannara Chronicles (Amberle/Eretreia [Or Princess Rover], Rwby [Blake Belladona/Yang], The Worst Witch (Hecate Hardbroom and Pippa Pentangle), The Half of it, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Madam Satan/Zelda Spellman) and… I think that’s it(?) I may be forgetting some but probably nothing important if I’m not remembering it lol.

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

Ah, we are going to go there, uh? Xd My works are not the kudos and comment getting type Xd So I was quite surprised when I went to check this.

1: Cracked it I wrote this one back in 2017, it was a prompt done by an anon: Lena is nerding with one of her projects at home, mumbling mostly to herself because she’s stuck and Kara casually mentions how to solve the problem like it’s nothing. I really had some fun with this. It was back when some us, SQeeners were fully doing the jump between OUAT and SuperGirl (I mean, there had already been some crossover as for fandom is related but this when the girls were actually getting their conjoined voice within the fandom)

2: Dateless I honestly needed to check what this one was about but I think I can see why this one shot has the amount of kudos it has. It’s a short and sweet idea and responds to the Teachers Au that went SO well with SQ. Everyone thinks they hate each other and try to set them up with other people whilst they, in truth, are dating. I don’t remember if I wrote them as married rather than dating but despite being from 2017 as well is one cheeky enough to be cool Xd I probably would edit some lines now *shudders*

3: After you I truly didn’t expect this one to be top 3. Makes me think of a lot of things, if I’m being honest Xd. After you was a one shot written almost feverishly as an answer to the fabulous drawings that Sejic did of both Lara Croft and Wonder Woman back at 2018 or something. It’s just Lara and Diana being himbos but not at all with each other.

4: How about… How about is one I remember perfectly, it was my answer to the ending of the Half of it film. I had SOME thoughts about it, let’s just stop there Xd I really liked the film itself but I think and I thought at the time that my response to wishing for a final scene at the very end of the credits responds to me being in a different personal moment than the characters. I really wanted to explore my feelings about it and so I wrote about them finding each other again after some time passes. It was also something I wrote after quite the hiatus so I took it as something I could write about without focusing too much on the why.

5: Come to me

Ahh, SuperCorp Xd I remember this one actually. A friend of mine and I were talking about descriptions, and she mentioned quite off-handedly how she wanted a fic in where Kara’s back was described. I complied… more or less.

Fun tidbit, despite the big volume of my work is obviously set in ouat there’s only 1 SQ fic there as you can see, the others are either SuperCorp or the random one shots I created for Wonderwoman/Lara Croft and The half of it. *sighs in deep thought* I’m also not going to look too much into how almost all of the fics were posted and written back in 2017. Nope, not at all.

*Small voice screaming you peaked in 2017 and everything else is garbage jumps back and forth*

5. Do you respond to comments? Why/why not?

I tend to always respond, yup. I truly value comments. I might have gone for spells of time in where I didn’t have the mental capacity to check in old fics because I truly didn’t know what to answer but I treasure every single comment and you all who comment know that I can start to ramble in the answers xd -sorry about that- I really really REALLY love interaction.

6. A fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending:

Ok, Nara, come on, this one is a catch for me. I’ve written angst in far too many fics to remember the angstiest one :P I have the most recent one, though, that is the easy one to think about: Goodbye.Written for @delirious-comfort. I’m just going to say “Kisses with their last dying breath” as an idea of what awaits inside but I’ve written about death and loss and angst quite a lot. There were some I wrote back to SQ with Regina needing to kill Emma during the Dark Swan arc that, to this day, I still love and some others in where Regina is the one that dies, again and again, trapped by magic while Emma watches. I have the loss in mental destruction form and… I REALLY like my angst y’know xd

7. Do you write crossovers?

Not counting Lara and Wonder Woman not really! I think it comes from the fact that I loooove worldbuilding as a whole and some pairings would require all my focus into making the world perfect which in turn would make me self conscious on the OOCness of it all.

8. Ever received hate on a fic?

*snorts* I’ve received hate due to the pairing I’ve written about, how I’ve written about it, the amount I’ve written, how slow or quick I can be, the usage of some tropes, the lack of usage of those same tropes… Let’s just go with: yuuuup.

9. Do you write smut?

I’ve written smut, yeah! But I can already see the pointed looks of some so let’s elaborate Xd I write smut when asked and sometimes when not asked but there’s a part of me I like to call a terrible tease that prefers writing the beginning of a scene, taunt it, focus on what happens before the sex scene per se as I find it more enjoyable to write. The process of escalation is always the best for me to see what can I do it by using both dialogue and descriptors tbh, so I tend to tease more than show.

9. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

A few weeks ago I’d have said: Maybe(?) But trying to follow the trail of some other fics that had been stolen from some friends -I think it was me trying to find more about the page that stole something from your Nara!- I found some pages in where my fics had been reposted. In some it was stated that the person posting the fic wasn’t the author but I had never been contacted in order to see if I’d say yes to such a thing and in some others the page was locked up but I could still see someone was pretending to be the author. I did the thing and got some of those down.

Pointed note: Ask me if you want to post or translate or anything. I will look into you and answer you if you seem honest about the thing. But despite every joke and self-deprecating comment those 500 and then some fics represent MY time so very kindly I say fuck off to those who wish to steal from me and if I catch you… you don’t really want to see me angry, trust me.

10. Ever had a fic translated?

I’ve given permission to some, yeah, but never heard it back from them so I’m guessing it didn’t stick.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic?

I’ve written series alongside other authors as @stregaomega for example. And some others that are unpublished -looking at you @carsonnieve - I’ve also done collabs… but fics co-written in the sense of two authors same chapters I don’t have anything posted I’m afraid :P

13. All-time favourite ship?

*snorts*, I guess the obvious answer is SQ uh? And I do think they were the ones that allowed me to read and write SO much. The one I feel more strongly about, however, is Bering and Wells from Warehouse 13.

14. WIP you want to finish, but don’t think you ever will?

All of them counts as a valid answer? But if I only could finish one that would be Arcadia. With A forgotten Promise second and the one I did as an Assassins Creed AU third. (I don’t remember the name so there’s no link, sorry xd)

15. Writing strengths?

Uhhhh, you REALLY want me to say that? I don’t fucking know!! To me everything I write is garbage. I always try to go for the feelings so I guess. Dunno xd I’ve been told I’m good at worldbuilding and to be honest is what I enjoy the most.

16. Writing weaknesses?

Everything Xd Pacing? What I hate the most sometimes is dialogue, I would count it as a weakness but I’m always far too focused on description rather than dialogue. I don’t think it’s a bad thing per se but it’s something that I don’t do as much.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I’m conflicted. Always. Majorly because I think that having bilingual characters in fanfiction is portrayed and expected in a way that I don’t feel it’s honest with how bilingual people -us- talk. So if I go by what I know I do I think it’s not what readers hope to see when it comes to that and if I go for how canonically is hoped to be found I don’t think it’s logical. But that’s me and my overthinking Xd If I have the option I like to do it.

18. First fandom you ever wrote for?

Belice! Or Bella/Alice. Worst first fic ever but oh, well, I’m always saying that :P

19. What’s your fav fic you’ve written so far?

Uhh… Don’t make me do this XD Agh, I don’t know. I’ve always been very vocal about Metallic Ink because I let myself enjoy the process of creating a magic system almost out of zero and that was fun. Despite hating some of the writing process and that I’d do it differently now I think I’m going to stick with that answer. Or anything that had any steampunk-based undertone. To be honest I like more thinking of concepts, I had one in where Emma was a thief and it involved the robbery of a ring that was Regina’s one way ticket to freedom I then later repurposed that I adored thinking about so let’s go with…. Yeah, I love having the option of changing things up a little and focus on how characters would fit in different aesthetics for this one Xd

Annnd… these are four pages, gods. I’m just going to tag @waknatious @carsonnieve @stregaomega here and see what they do- Enjoy the questionnaire ladies :P

[reciprocityfic]

passing afternoons

title: passing afternoons fandom: little women pairing: theodore laurence x amy march  rating: m summary: “did you have any dalliances after me?” she asks.

he blinks hard as his brain reels for a moment, as he struggles to comprehend what she’s saying. after her? there is no after her. there never will be.

then, he stops. thinks. she means...oh. oh.

she means after that time in the garden, in paris. when he’d first revealed his feelings for her, and she’d rejected him. left him standing there alone and feeling like an utter, hopeless idiot.

oh.

(laurie and amy spend a late summer afternoon talking about the past.)

author’s note: i've literally shipped laurie and amy since like fourth grade. so when i saw little women (2019) and found out it did my bbs justice, i basically cried. i've been meaning to write fic ever since, but alas, here we are almost a year later. i hope you enjoy it anyways.

i have another fic in the works that's longer and definitely more angsty, which i hope to post relatively soon. i also hope to write more fluff (also maybe smut???) for them in the coming months bc GOD i just love imagining these two together. in the meantime, i hope you enjoyed this!

xoxo, rebekah

passing afternoons

They enjoy being lazy after sex.

They’re not always afforded the opportunity, of course.  At night, they tend to fall asleep rather quickly afterwards, exhausted and sated and tangled together.  And the occasional forbidden interlude - when they’re some party or gathering wholly bland or pretentious and the two of them (sometimes tipsy, sometimes bored, always and perpetually desperate for each other) run off to some dark corner or isolated room where he lifts the skirt of her dress and the too-many layers underneath and uses his body to press hers against the wall as he sinks into her from behind and they pray their moans and the sounds of their bodies together won’t be heard - must be short and altogether swift, no time to dwell in the aura of the sensations and feelings between them.

But then, there are days when Grandfather is occupied with the business and the Marches are busy and they dismiss the servants.  It’s just the two of them in their grand house with time that seems to stretch on and on.  Sometimes they’ll make it a game of sorts, shamelessly flirt and tempt each other to see who will break first, but oftentimes they’ll share a look and a smile and then they’re off in a race to their horizontal surface of choice.

Today is one of those days, when they’ve nowhere to be, nothing to do, and are all alone.  It’s an unusually hot day in late September, and when Amy had complained about the warmth, he’d suggested she take her blouse off.  She’d raised an eyebrow and told him to go first, and then one thing led to another and now they’re naked and sore and satisfied, laying on their bed as the early afternoon sun shines in through their open windows.

He lays on top of the sheets on his back, head at the foot of the bed and hands on his stomach, staring up at the ceiling and trying to find imaginary patterns in swirling paint.  She lays parallel to him, but leans against the headboard, her long blonde hair falling around her face as she sketches him.  He hadn’t seen her take out the pad and pencil she keeps in the dresser near their bed, but he can hear the sound of graphite moving against paper as she draws.  He grins as he imagines her face, lips pursed and brow furrowed, wide green eyes focused and the movement of her hand knowing nothing but purpose even with the most casual of sketches.

They do not touch and do not talk.  Still, the intimacy of the situation - of being together and completely safe and comfortable with the person you love most in the world - is overwhelming.  Its warmth cocoons him, and he feels his eyes getting heavy as he lies there, a breeze blowing in from the open window and caressing his skin.

“You had your many dalliances after Jo, yes?”

His eyes snap open when he hears her question, his stomach lurching slightly and his mood dampening.

He ran away to Europe and drowned himself in alcohol, drugs, and women after Jo broke his heart, and he admits this.  Amy knows it, too.  And it’s not that he’s ashamed of that period of time, exactly - while he wishes he had, indeed, bore it better, he finds himself sympathetic to the plight of people scorned by love, however misguided that love might be.

He just doesn’t often talk about it.  Doesn’t like to.  In his mind and in his heart, it is only Amy.  Has always been, and always will be.

Amy doesn’t really like to talk about it, either.  He finds her inquiry curious, but answers anyway.

“Yes,” he tells her, although the word comes out sounding more like a question than an answer.

He waits for her to explain her line of thought, but she simply hums to herself.  He stares at the ceiling a moment longer, then leans up, resting his weight on his elbows.

She’s staring down at her drawing, her face just as he pictured it, pencil grasped between her lips as she swipes her thumb against the paper.  He watches as she takes the pencil out of her mouth and starts at it again, and he watches her for nearly a minute before opening his mouth to speak.

She beats him to it, though.

“Did you have any dalliances after me?” she asks.

He blinks hard as his brain reels for a moment, as he struggles to comprehend what she’s saying.  After her?  There is no after her.  There never will be.

Then, he stops.  Thinks.  She means...oh.  Oh.

She means after that time in the garden, in Paris.  When he’d first revealed his feelings for her, and she’d rejected him.  Left him standing there alone and feeling like an utter, hopeless idiot.

Oh.

He shifts on the bed, drops his eyes from her face.  He can feel his skin begin to flush from embarrassment.

They’ve never talked about this before.

Not that there’s much to talk about, he supposes.  He still hesitates to tell her - not because he fears she’ll be angry with him, but because he doesn’t like to talk about it.  If it were up to him, he would erase from his mind the memory of every woman he’d ever been with until only his wife remained.

But she’s asked, and he’ll be honest with her.

“One, I suppose,” he murmurs.

“You suppose?” she questions.  She’s still staring down at her artwork, but her pencil doesn’t move.

“Sort of, yes,” he confirms.

She finally looks at him, her eyebrows pulled together and a frown on her face.

“How do you sort of have a dalliance?”

She looks genuinely confused, and he laughs lightly at the crease between her brows, sits up fully and reaches out to her.  He cups her face and uses his thumb to rub at the wrinkle of skin.

“Shall I explain?” he asks her.

She nods.

“I...tried to be angry after you left.  Just think - to be turned down by not just one, but two March girls!” he gasps playfully, and she snickers, pushing against his shoulder playfully before dropping her hand to run over the sparse hair on his chest.

“But?” she prompts.

"But I couldn’t make myself angry.  Not at you.  But I also knew I couldn’t just stay there in France and watch you and Fred Vaughn…”

He makes a noise in the back of his throat, and she rolls her eyes playfully.

“We’re speaking of all your affairs, and you want to tease about Fred?”

“It’s part of my story!” he insists with a wink, and she rolls her eyes again.

“Well, keep telling it.”

He smiles, and continues.

“I couldn’t stay, so I did what you told me to.  I went to London, as you know.  And when I first got there, there was a woman staying at the same hotel as I was.  We got to talking one evening at dinner, and one thing…”

He trails off, feeling himself flush again.

“...led to another,” Amy finishes.  “I understand.  I don’t need the details.”

She’s frowning now, even though her fingers still run over his chest, and he despises it.  He has half a mind to drop the subject, to kiss her lips and make her happy and forget life before, but he can’t.

“Wait, I’m not done.”

“Laurie, I don’t need to hear any more.  You had your dalliance, I’m not upset, and we can stop - “

“I couldn’t do it,” he interrupts.  “It didn’t work.”

She pulls back from him slightly, her eyes wide and curious.  She looks down his body.

“You mean you couldn’t...?”

He follows her gaze, and then snorts.

“Not like that.  It - it didn’t even get to that.  Amy, my dear.”

He lifts her chin, and she gazes at him.  He can tell she’s still confused.

“Every time I closed my eyes,” he explains, “I saw you - the face you made in the garden before you turned away and left.  It broke my heart.  It still breaks my heart.  And when my eyes were open, all I could think about was how her skin wasn’t as soft and her hair wasn’t as fair and her eyes were brown instead of green and she just...wasn’t you.”

“But with Jo...”

“It was different with Jo.  I could make Jo into anyone.  I could always pick out the tiniest thing that reminded me of her, in any woman, and then pretend that woman was her.  I couldn’t...do that with you.  Or maybe I didn’t want to.  In any case, being with that woman didn’t make me forget.  She made me remember all the more.  And I only kissed her for about a minute before I realized it was worthless.”

He stops and grabs one of her hands, brings it to his mouth so he can kiss her fingertips, before holding it over his heart.

“And that’s when I knew that this was different.  You weren’t Jo, and I wasn’t going to be able to just...drink and fuck you away.”

She’d normally gasp and swat him playfully for his use of the coarse word, but now she stays silent and presses her hand more firmly against his chest.

“I was in love with you.  Hopelessly and completely.  And I realized that all I could do was stay in London and toil away and... pray that somehow you would change your mind.”

Then, everything had changed.  Beth died, and then he knew he had to be with her.  It didn’t matter if she despised him, or if Fred was there.  He needed to be with her.  But before that, he had been rather resigned to his fate - to work for his grandfather and forever pine after Amy March.

God had smiled upon him, though.  And now, here he sits with his wife, Amy Laurence.  Married, in love, and happy.

“So does that explain how one can have a single, sort-of dalliance?” he asks her.

But she stares at him, eyes shining, almost with tears.

“You were going to wait your whole life for me?” she whispers.

He smirks slightly, turning away from her and shrugging, somehow embarrassed.  But she grabs his face, turns it back to her, and locks their gazes.

“What else would you have me do, my lady?”

“Oh, my lord,” she breathes, and kisses him deeply, until his toes curl and he can feel himself begin to harden once again.  When she pulls away, they’re both panting.  He wants to grab her, to gather her up in his arms again, but her pad and pencil remains between them.

He motions to the picture.

“Still working on that, Raphaella?”

“Maybe later,” she remarks, taking the paper and all but throwing it on the floor beside the bed.  She pushes him back so he’s laying once again, and climbs on top of him, straddling his waist.  “I have another idea how we can pass time this afternoon.”

She leans down and kisses his smiling mouth.

Yes, God had smiled upon him.  Had given him back his love.  And he’s married, in love, and happy.

Achingly happy.

[doodleimprovement]

CSAU :: Moonie Jericho and the Mysterious Case of the Moon-Jumper Mask - Alternate Ending

Or: “The extremely self indulgent 7 page fic were Nell gets to be more helpful and has some actual characterization” 

Yeahhhh this isn’t canon to the fic, but I wanted to write it because I can, at LAST give ya’ll Nell’s backstory for how they came to live in Subcon in the CSAU

Per usual, the “Coffee Shop AU” belongs to the ever wonderful @doodledrawsthings

Also, note: Both MJ and Nell use “they/them” pronouns, with MJ being “He/They” and Nell being “She/They” To keep things from getting too confusing, Nell will be “They” and MJ will be “He” 

Enjoy! 

--

Nell was honestly a bit surprised when MJ came to their home the morning after Halloween, sheepishly stating that the mask seemed ... stuck.

“Really?”

He nodded.

“Huh.. Come on in then. I’ll get some tea going and see about helping you out, hm?”

He walked into their house, taking a moment to actually look about the place- as he didn’t get much of a chance before- and took a seat in their small living room.

The ambiance of the outside followed inside, with the walls painted chestnut brown with warm yet bright pops of color on the windowsill and the various picture frames full of people he didn’t know. The curtain over the wide window was patterned with little pumpkins, which he found cute, and hanging from a few ceiling hooks were what Clover would call “Low-maintenance” plants. The dark colors match well with the room, making it feel a bit comfier than it otherwise might.

The couch he sat on was across from an armchair, and both were colored a warm orange, with an espresso-colored coffee table. On said table were some envelopes and a copy of “Better Homes and Gardens”

Huh, he didn’t peg them as a reader of those types of magazines. Then again, Clover was the one that knew Nell, not him.

They came back with two mugs - one was purple with the “Snatcher” face on it, and the other had a little grumpy ghost on it, with “I’m spooky before my coffee” written above the drawing.

They handed him the Snatcher mug

“Can I ask where you get all of this Snatcher merch?”

“My best friend is an Etsy fiend. Despite him living all the way in Nyakoto, he ships me Snatcher merch whenever he finds something fun. He’s a real character” they chuckled.

“Huh” MJ acknowledged as Nell walked around the coffee table and sat next to him

“Do you feel the mask?”

He nodded, his hand up at the edge, right where he felt it “When I pull, it just… doesn’t move”

“Hm..” they sipped. “When you try to take it off, how does it feel?”

“Like… it’s like a thousand little… things? Pulling at my face, I think?” MJ pulled up their mug and sipped the tea.

“Like… string? Thread?”

MJ nodded. “I think that's the right word, thread”

Nell puts down the mug as MJ takes another sip. “Let me see” they scooted closer to him, and he put his mug down and turned his head.

Their hands seemed to glow green as they raised it “There we go…” They muttered, hand immediately finding the mask’s edge, and seeing what he was talking about “... Huh, the threads… well, that's the right word. They’re… criss-crossed…”

Before he could ask if they could remove them, he felt a slight burning at the edge of his face and jumped

“Ah!”

“Sorry, sorry, but, that did work… Though, it means you might be here a while” they admit “I’ll need you to stay still, okay?”

“Oh.. okay”

It was... Not Okay.

A few minutes into Nell’s attempt at getting the mask off, they let out a huff.

“You can’t keep squirming”

“I- I’m sorry” He muttered “It's just, you know, hard to stay still”

“I understand that, but I don’t want to mess this up. I’d like to see your actual eyes” They muttered.

“I know, it just.. Weird feeling” He tried to explain.

“Moon” They pressed, but sighed “... You seem still enough when I’m talking to you, need a distraction?”

“I mean, I guess…?”

Nell sighed “Hm… How about I tell you how I came to live in Subcon? That’s a long-ass story”

“Oh uh, if you’re okay with sharing!” MJ tried to be polite. He knew that even Clover wasn’t completely sure why Nell came to live in the town, she just knew that “something happened” back at the coast where they were from.

“Nah. It’s been 5 years. That’s more than long enough” The nurse stayed focused on the magic threads, their magic seeming to thrum in his ears- sounding almost like the hum of a fan in the dead heat of summer..

There was a pause, before they took in a breath.

“When I was 19, I took a job in Nyakoto, and left my hometown as fast as the train could take me. I had a scholarship to a little nursing school there, and before my 21st birthday, I’d gotten a nice, decent paying job as an ER nurse for a hospital in the East Side” They started “The hospitals were all interconnected, so I ended up meeting different doctors and nurses while I worked, and sometimes was called to assist in other hospitals.

“I was.. 25, when I met him” They recalled, something in their voice seeming heavy. “We’ll call him Chris

“He was in residency at a hospital down in the Wesservale neighborhood. We met at a medical appreciation gala… He had something about him I couldn't place. . . A charisma, almost. A kindness. He seemed so eager for the future, so excited for what the next day might bring him. I’d never been like that. His optimism drew me in.

“We started dating the year after. Like with most relationships, everything seemed great. He was funny, kind, thoughtful, all of that stuff. He even went with me to pride stuff, which was pretty cool at the time.”

“Pride?” MJ chimed in. Nell couldn’t hide a chuckle.

“Yes. You’ve heard of the Nyakoto Annual Pride Bonanza, haven’t you? One of the biggest in the country”

“I have, yes”

“Good. Back to the story” Nell redirected “When I was 27, about a year and a half into the relationship, I realized, quite unhappily, that we weren’t actually very different, and didn’t really get along as well as we thought.. It's not that we argued, but.. We didn’t really… talk. I never spoke to him about my problems, I didn’t feel like I could, and that really made me realize that we weren’t actually all that comfortable around each other. So, when he came over to my place that night for dinner, I spoke to him, and tried to tell him that we weren’t compatible, and that I thought perhaps we’d be better off as friends.

“He convinced me that we just needed work, going on and on about all these plans he had for us. Trips, dates, things to look forward to, always looking toward the future, Chris did”

Nell paused again

“.. I really should have noticed how little he cared about happiness in the present.” They commented “Not a traditional red flag, but it was a warning nonetheless”

“Well, I mean, that’s not so bad”

“In a way, no” Nell replied “But when you think about the future so much, you forget the present, you forget to live, and your past just.. Ends up a horrible haze. Even the happy stuff is hard to recall”

MJ hadn’t thought of it like that

“But hindsight is 2020, and in the moment, I believed him. I wanted to believe those bright dreams of the future, and I let go of the fact that I did not even like to talk to him very much.

“... I tried to break up with him 4 more times in the 8 years we were together.”

Okay, MJ hadn’t been expecting that much time passing.

“By the time I was 34, we were living together, but barely seeing each other. From the outside it must have seemed perfect to everyone else. I think only Daph knew about my.. Issues, with Chris. I still never talked to him about anything that wasn’t the future, or how the day was, or.. Just, absolute nonsense.

“One night, after one more attempt to break up, I’d gone to bed defeated, and woke up at 3 in the morning while he was on the night shift in Wesservale.. I came to this… realization

“If I didn’t leave right then and there, I’d marry him…. and I’d …. I’d be stuck. He’d have me, and I’d be stuck for the rest of my life..

“So I grabbed everything I had in the apartment, sent a resignation email to the East side hospital I still worked at, left him a note telling him I was leaving, took my car and just… started driving”

“.. Did he call you?”

“I blocked his number.” They answered curtly. “Drove for days until I came across Subcon.”

MJ didn’t comment.

“I stayed at the Alpine Motel for a few nights, and when I was at the diner, overheard that there was an open position for the school nurse at the elementary” They continued. “I applied for it, and 3 months later cashed in my savings to put a down payment on this little place” They made a motion with their hand briefly “The rest is history”

“Well… If it's any consolation, I think that's a good reason to get out of the city”

Nell couldn’t hold back a laugh. There was something a little… sad, in it, but the laugh was genuine.

“Yeah, then again, every reason is a good one to get out of the city” They commented, and MJ had only just realized that their hands were now on the other side of his face. Nell worked quickly, it seemed. “Hm.. okay. On the count of three, I'm going to try to take it off, alright?”

“Oh, uh, wow, okay!” He replied eagerly, closing his eyes.

“One…” They slowly started, both hands on either side, their nails right at the edge of the mask.

“Three!”

MJ startled as Nell pulled, and a cold, sharp feeling spread over his body before it abruptly ended. When he opened his eyes. He looked at Nell, who had, in their hands, that damned mask.

His hands went up to his face, and he let out a relieved laugh as he felt his skin, glasses and hair “hah! Hahah! I’m human again! No more magic!” He raised his hands and leaned back on the couch “Sweet relief”

Nell let out a chuckle, putting the mask down gently “Finish your tea, I’m gonna grab you a damp towel. You have… paint? On your face”

His brow was furrowed, but he reached for the still-warm mug anyway as Nell got up and went down a short hallway.

He took the few moments that Nell was done to think over the story he’d been told, the exhaustion in the nurse’s voice as she told it. Was he really the first one to learn? It gave him a weird feeling right in his chest.

When Nell returned, she offered a small, damp towel… that had the “Snatcher” smile on it

“... How many of these do you have?” He almost laughed again, and they just answered with an amused smile and grabbed their own coffee cup.

MJ cleaned his face, seeing a candy-red color coming off on the purple towel. “Hm..”

“What?”

“Well uh, the color looks like the magic strings I was able to summon”

Nell Blinked “... Well uh, bring that up with Tim when he’s back in town. That’s a little out of my wheelhouse”

“Noted”

The two fell into silence, sipping their warm drinks and giving them some time to unwind

“Will you need a ride home?” they asked him, putting their mug down.

He hadn’t actually thought of that.

“Oh, uh, it’s fine”

They raised an eyebrow at him

“You live 20 minutes away and Luka isn’t here to … fly you home, per se” They laid out “I’ve got a car, I’ll drive you home”

He turned a little red to the ears “Oh.. Thank you”

“No problem, Moon” They smiled back at him. “I’m going to change real quick, then we’ll leave”

And with that, they left back into the short hallway, to what Moon assumed was their bedroom.

Nell returned a few minutes later, dressed in a loose blouse and skirt that went down to their ankles, a far cry from the tank top and sweatpants that he’d seen them in before. He supposed that it was more so not wanting to go out in Pajamas than anything else. She picked up the mask, wrapping it in a handkerchief before holding it out to him

“It’s chosen you. You have to keep it”

He just nodded, and gingerly took the troublesome thing into his hands.

The two got in their truck (Nell owned a truck??) and drove into town.

MJ took in a breath as they turned onto a main street, passing The Horizon. “So uh, Nell..”

“Hm?”

“About your uh, the story you told me.. I won’t tell anyone”

“I don’t mind if you do” they answered, eyes on the road

“What, really?”

“Like I said before. Five years feels long enough”

MJ’s brow furrowed “I’m still not going to say anything.. That’s a personal story. It’s not mine to tell”

Nell glanced over at him with an unreadable expression, before moving to turn on the radio. Lo-fi started, and it seemed they were right in the middle of a Billie Eilish song.

“.. Thank you” They ended up responding as the song picked up

”I know supposedly I'm lonely now.

Know I’m supposed to be unhappy without someone.

But aren’t I someone?” 

MJ didn’t say much of anything else once until they got to his apartment building

“Thank you, Nell. For everything”

“Don’t mention it” They gave him a small, but sincere smile “Get some rest, hm? The bags under your eyes are aging you”

MJ just laughed “I will. Don’t be a stranger, Mx. Buonacci”

The nurse gave him a lazy salute with a soft smile, before the window rolled up, and they drove off

Exhaling, he looked down at the covered mask, wrapped in a…. Snatcher-patterned handkerchief.

He couldn’t help but laugh.

[hufflautia]

A Hidden Darkness

A/N: I wish I had thought of this idea in time for Halloween.

Warnings: This story is a little creepy and has something to do with the supernatural. If you are not comfortable with that kind of stuff, avoid this fic. 

Dedicated to @sophiexteresa; thank you for helping me out with British slang :’) 

Summary: Slytherin notices that Hufflepuff is acting strange...a little too strange. 

Boom!

Ravenclaw immediately drew back from the table, laughing as he pointed at Slytherin; the mini-explosion singed the edges of his hair. 

“Bloody hell,” Slytherin grumbled, gingerly rubbing his slightly-burned face. “This game is a load of bollocks.” 

He raised an eyebrow as he gathered the remaining cards. “Mate, you were the one who wanted to play Exploding Snap.” 

“Yeah, because I wanted the cards to explode in your face.” 

Ravenclaw rolled his eyes and grabbed a handful of popcorn, chucking it at him. 

Slytherin managed to block the attack with his hand, but some landed on his shoulder. As he brushed the popcorn off, he suddenly felt something prodding at the back of his neck. It felt like someone was...sniffing his hair? 

He turned around and saw Hufflepuff standing there, her face so close to his that he could feel her breath. “Hey,” he smiled, not registering the fact that it was likely she who just sniffed him. “Alright?” 

Hufflepuff gave him a blinding smile and grabbed his hand. “I need you,” she replied, tugging him out of his chair. 

“But I’m—” 

“Playing cards with Ravenclaw? You can do that later.” 

As she led him out of the Great Hall, Slytherin wondered how she knew what he was gonna say. He brushed it off quickly; she could clearly see what they were doing. However, something was definitely strange about her. Hufflepuff would usually greet Ravenclaw kindly if she saw him, but she barely spared him a second glance. 

Hufflepuff came to a stop after they passed through the entrance of the Great Hall and turned to face him. “I need to ask you something.” 

“Why couldn’t you just ask me before?” 

“Because Ravenclaw was there.” 

He frowned and said, “But you’ve never had a problem with him before.” 

She made a face at him. “He’s an ickle know-it-all. Should’ve socked him in the face, I should.” 

He was taken aback—Hufflepuff never behaved like this. She was always sweet and kind, but she was the complete opposite now. 

“What’s up with you,” he asked. “You’re acting like a completely different person. And ickle? You’ve never said that before.” 

She glared at him. “People change, Slytherin. Besides, I didn’t bring you out there just for you to berate me.” Her tone was calm, but Slytherin could sense the repressed hostility hidden beneath her words. 

She seemed to realize that he was staring at her strangely because, in the next moment, she suddenly straightened up and smiled at him widely. "But no reason to fuss about it any longer," she cooed in an oily voice, pinching his cheek. "You're here now, and that's all that matters." 

Slytherin studied her face and immediately picked up on the fact that her smile was forced. "Right then," he said slowly, still put off by her demeanor. "What was it you wanted to ask?" 

Her expression immediately darkened, and she stepped forward. He fought the urge to take a step back. What was going on with him? This was his girlfriend he was dealing with. She never meant any harm...so why did he feel so uneasy? Her next words sent chills down his spine. 

"Would you be able to tell if someone—no, if something were to possess my body?" 

Slytherin stared at her, hoping that she would crack a smile and burst out laughing, saying that it was just a prank and she successfully fooled him. 

However, she did no such thing. Instead, she stared at him with those dark eyes that he usually found endearing, but there was a coldness to them. An emptiness. 

"I..." He trailed off, unsure of what to say. What could he say? A feeling of discomfort festered within him, and he spoke again. “Uh, maybe? I think it'd be obvious if you started climbing on the walls or something.” 

Nodding, Hufflepuff seemed to mull over his answer before her face broke into a huge smile. “Alrighty then.” She suddenly plucked a piece of popcorn that had been lying in the collar of his shirt and popped it in her mouth. “Can I watch you play Exploding Snap with Ravenclunk?”  

“I thought you didn’t like Ravenclunk.” 

“I wanna see the cards explode in his face,” she shrugged. 

Slytherin hummed a laugh, momentarily forgetting how unusual she was acting, and began leading her back into the Great Hall. He felt a tug at his hand and turned back, only for Hufflepuff to smash her face onto his. 

The kiss was rough and sloppy, an alarming contrast to how they normally kissed. Drawing his bottom lip between her teeth, she bit down hard enough to make him pull away abruptly. He gingerly touched his lip and found his fingers to be stained with blood. He looked back up at her, shocked.  

A bit of his blood smeared across her teeth, she smiled coyly. “Sorry,” she said, not sounding sorry in the slightest bit. “You know I get carried away sometimes…” 

Slytherin didn’t respond and simply stood there like a statue, face awash with horror as he stared at her. 

“I’ve gotta go now. I have lots to do today.” With that, she ambled away, leaving Slytherin standing there and looking as if he had just seen a ghost. 

Hufflepuff wandered through the corridors, letting her hands brush against the cobblestone wall as she inhaled the sweet smell drifting from the Kitchens.  

I have to admit, the voice cackled. This is quite luxurious. It’s interesting to be human for once. Smell, taste, touch. I have much to explore.   

Please, Hufflepuff begged, trapped within the confines of her body against her own will. Let me go! 

Peeves laughed gleefully inside her mind. 

But I’m having so much fun.

FIN.

~

Check out my masterlist! | Kind comments and reblogs are most appreciated :)

Author’s note: 

This may be my least favorite fic out of all that I have written. Last night, when I was writing it, I didn’t feel happy and a part of me wanted to discard what I wrote so far because I was like “jessica this is so dumb” but I didn’t wanna throw out what I wrote so far. I’m not even sure if Peeves is able to possess someone’s body, and after I finished writing, I thought “well what if I keep it ambiguous and it’s just some random demon?”. However, I had done some research on how Peeves talks, hence the “ickly”, and I didn’t wanna take out the hints of Hufflepuff not really being Hufflepuff. In addition, it doesn’t seem very hogwarts-like or harry potter related if it were just a random demon. That’s why I thought Filch to be the best option. I thought of this idea yesterday when my sister was acting creepy while we were in the bathroom in the morning. I was brushing my teeth and she was on the toilet, and she straightup looked at me with dead eyes and asked “Would you be able to tell if a demon possessed me?” and I was like

She was twitching and everything, and as I was walking out of the bathroom, she came up right behind me and SNIFFED MY HAIR. Yea, so that was my inspiration for this fic. My initial idea for the ending was that as Hufflepuff walks back with Slytherin to the table, her eyes glow a little and she smiles wickedly. However, I was like hmmmm what if she bits his lips and he bleeds a little?.. Yea, don’t ask me why I thought that. I don’t think I would ever write a fic that includes that bit because slytherpuff doesn’t have that rough-love type of vibe, so I just thought, oh whatever might as well do that now when I have the chance.  

In other news, happy March! This is gonna be the month in which I get the rest of my college results and I am a little nervous. Also, I’m going to go on a hiatus because I feel myself going down a spiral right now and it’s likely because my period is coming😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀What fun, am I right??? I get bad PMS, so I’m just gonna leave and focus on my own wellbeing for some time because I tend to get depressed during my period. I might write a bunch of stories and then come out from the dark and then post consistently. I think I am kind of posting consistently already; I have never posted as many fics as I had in February, which is interesting and hopefully not a once-in-a-lifetime thing because I’m done with the college process but now I also have to deal with my own issues in terms of mental health and stuff. It sucks but I will get better. 

I hope you enjoyed reading this fic. Let me know what you think! 

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