#sometimes you gotta make things out of beans

[aristoteliancomplacency]

Beans.

My partner and I have a running joke with a friend. Every time he goes on holiday we increase the quantity of beans in his flat.

The first time we bought ~30 cans of kidney beans and hid them around the house like some Easter egg hunt thing but with beans.

The Second time we bought ~6kg dried white beans and hid those in various places. Nearly every receptacle that could safely hold beans became the home of beans. My personal favourite was emptying an oat milk carton, very carefully washing and drying it, filling it with beans and then just putting it back among several other cartons.

He went on holiday again a couple of weeks ago. Obviously there is an expectation of bean-based shenanigans. And obviously we have to beat our previous efforts.

Our friend has (had) a mosaic on his wall of the famous Marilyn Monroe Pop-Art by Andy Warhol. He made the mosaic himself. Over the last couple of weeks we have spent hours and hours assembling a frame, drawing up a pattern and gridding out a 70 x 70 frame and gluing an untold amount of beans to it. I have spent over 21 hours gluing beans to a frames.

For the last couple of days I ended up going to bed at 5:00 am because I lost track of time whilst experimenting with which types of glue works best with different beans (I now have *opinions* on this, y’all). The day of our friend’s return we spent the morning and afternoon grouting the piece and wiping it down and wiping it down again and wiping it down again because grout is just like that. In the evening we went to install the mosaic, just a few hours before his return. Here’s a comparison between the original and our clearly superior replication, and the new piece installed in its rightful place.

[saudadeko]

ADHD tips from a girlie who was diagnosed in her late twenties and has had little to no support since and is being so brave about it:

1) Make it easy, make it accessible, and make it appealing. If anything this is the most important thing, all tips going forward are based around this concept.

2) That thing you think would help you but you haven’t bought/done it yet because you’re technically surviving without it? Buy it, you need it. It doesn’t matter if people around you might think it’s wasteful or that you’re lazy, you’re not, just do it, trust me.

3) Expanding on tip #2, if you’re like me and eggs are your main source of protein because they’re quick and easy and feeding yourself is a near insurmountable task- buy yourself an electric egg cooker, make a bunch of hard boiled eggs and keep them in your fridge for quick and easy protein to add to any meal (handful of crackers, a hard boiled egg and a banana? 5 star meal right there. Or mash them up with some mayo for egg salad sandwiches). Other easy proteins include: potstickers (put them in instant ramen), edamame (they have microwaveable snack packs), chickpeas (put in salads!), beans (can of beans microwaved with shredded cheese and some tortilla chips), peanut butter (with crackers, apple and cheese, adult lunchable style), and tofu (cut into cubes, throw them into a ziplock with some seasoning and potato starch, shake that shit up and bake it until crispy).

4) Spend a little extra (if you are able) on daily use items that excite you, it will make you more likely to remember/want to do said daily task. For example: the only reason I remember to use sunscreen is because I bought some fancy japanese sunscreen that smells like roses so I get excited to use it, same for laundry detergent and body wash! there’s a gajillion different body wash scents out there, switch it up!

5) If there’s a task you continuously struggle with take a moment to think about which part of the task is making it difficult, it could be something even as small as “I don’t put my dirty clothes in the hamper because my hamper has a lid on it and lifting the lid is one step too many-”, sounds a little stupid huh? But trust your gut, it’s not stupid if it works. See tip #2 and BUY A HAMPER WITHOUT A LID.

6) If you are having trouble starting a task, break the task down further, sometimes the way I start a task is just by going “Ok step 1) stand up-“ and so forth. Don’t worry about the task as a whole just take it one step at a time.

7) If you’re halfway through a task and have to stop, leave it out. All this, “Put things away when you’re done with them.” is bullshit. you will be much more likely to finish the task if restarting it is easier because you left it out plus it’s a visual reminder. You can also create faux deadlines like “I gotta finish this project before my friend comes over on tuesday because after I finish it I can clean off the dinner table.” etc.

8) It’s okay to outsource tasks and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, humans are designed to ask for, and to require help (what do babies do when they’re first born?? cry for help!!) ask for help and receive help without shame, if it makes your life better, you are WINNING.

9) If you have one big overwhelming task that you think you need to get done before anything else, but you feel motivated to do other tasks, do those other tasks first, it’s okay. Otherwise in all likelihood (at least in my case) you’ll put everything off until the last minute and then have to do said overwhelming task and those other tasks won’t get done at all. Doing those smaller tasks also lowers the mental load and you can use them as a motivation launch pad to tackle bigger things.

10) If you notice you tend to not put something away/forget to do something, perhaps consider moving and storing the item closer to where it ultimately ends up or where you are more likely to see it. For example, my makeup, pills, and mail are all stored on my desk because that’s where I tend to do my makeup, take my pills and deal with my mail. I used to store my pills in my bathroom medicine cabinet but all too often I would forget because they weren’t in my line of sight. Now that they’re on my desk, I have multiple chances per day to pass by them, go “oh I gotta take those.” and take them.

11) Open storage, open storage, OPEN STORAGE.

12) Motivation can look like all kinds of things. sometimes the only reason I get out of bed is because I remember I have a fun snack and I get to go eat it if I get up. It’s okay to lean into those simple “animal-brain” type motivators, you’ll eat because then you can use that fun new kitchen gadget you got a daiso? Neat. you’ll shower because then you can paint your nails that fun new color you got? Fantastic. You’ll go to the dmv and do that annoying thing because you’ll take yourself out for boba after? Superb. Lean-IN to those small motivators, they aren’t stupid or childish, they are VITAL.

13) Don’t buy into the cult of “if it’s worth doing, do it properly” it’s guaranteed to set you up for failure. If it’s worth doing, do it in whatever capacity you are able to. I put sunscreen on once a day because that’s fucking better than not doing it at all and I sure as all hell will fail at reapplying it multiple times a day. If it’s worth doing, do it half-assed babieeee.

Go forth and prosper!!! xoxo ✌️🩵

[vrystalius]

Hey babess, i have quite the heartwarming request.

So imagine that wife reader is heavily and her water randomly breaks so ofc she gives birth with the help of shinobu(i love her so much) and other midwives ofc. So how would the hashias react during the late stages of pregnancy and birth??

Hear me outtt, what if preg reader was pregnant with twins(im a big family girl lol, i had to let that out). Stuff stuff

Hashira’s reactions during your pregnancy

You’re heavily pregnant. How will your husband react?

Note: I didn’t include the gender and names of the babies, so you can choose the genders and names yourself!

Pairing: Sanemi, Kyojuro, Gyomei, Giyu x fem!reader

Includes: Food cravings, mood swings, sickness, talking to the baby, birth and a little bonus scenario in the end (different for every hashira)

Words: 5.1k, enjoy!

Sanemi Shinazugawa

Food cravings

What? You want to eat ohagi again? Sure it’s Sanemi’s favourite food, but you’ve insisted on eating ohagi for every day the past week. The baby needs some vegetables, fruits, vitamins and whatever else. Just anything but ohagi!

He couldn’t even watch when you proceeded to devour sweet potatoes with a chocolate sauce. The worst part is that Sanemi is the main chef of this household and was forced to cook all kinds of monstrosities for you during your pregnancy. But he never said a word about it and just silently judged you for even asking him to bake a whole fish just so you can covered it in sliced fruits and chocolate sauce.

“Are ya sure you’re not poisoning our baby? Are ya really, really sure?”

Sometimes, Sanemi’ll try to sneak in healthy foods into your diet like one would to with a toddler. He’d chop the vegetables as small as possible and try to feed them to you in bits by bits by incorporating them into your favourite foods. You weirdly enough never noticed how your ohagis began to taste like carrots more and more.

“What? No. I’m making them like always. I.. just used the same knife for both carrots and the beans of the ohagi… Whatcha looking at me like that for??”

Mood swings

It’s very confusing to Sanemi how you can be happily munching on your snacks in one moment and then began crying about a dog wandering the streets, thinking someone abandoned him. He’s putting up with it, though. He’d would take you into his arms and try to explain to you that no, that dog is not living on the street and that it belongs to the nice old lady that lives just down the street. He gets a little nervous every time you get emotional when standing in the nursery and inspect all the prepared toys and clothes. Why are you crying so hard? Do you not want a baby? Or are you just this excited to have one?

He doesn’t get your mood swings but’ll try his best to give you reassurance and support. Even though Sanemi’ll be a little awkward and just hover around you in fear of triggering another random emotion in you.

“Hey, darling… how about we move to the bedroom? The nursey is makin’ ya emotional. You’re gonna loose control over ya bladder and I’m gonna be forced to clean after ya. Again.”

But most of the time, Sanemi’ll get soft when you get emotional over the baby stuff like this. Sometimes, he’ll sneak into the nursery during the nights he can’t sleep and rumage all the baby’s things. Sanemi would look through all the neatly folded baby clothes Giyu send over and the toys Tengen’s wives made themselves for the baby. He can’t help but get a little teary-eyed himself, leaning against the crib and looking down at the soft mattress below. He just can’t want to have a little baby in there.

“Fuck, don’t sneak up on me like that! A-And ‘m not cryin’, I-I’m just checkin’ on the crib. Y’know, if it looks stable and shit. It gotta handle our fatass baby.”

Talking to the baby

Sanemi loves to lay his head against your stomach and just listen to the baby’s heart beat. His hand would gently caress your stomach while mumbling against your skin.

“Whatcha doing in there, hm? Why are you kicking your mommy? You’re hurting her, y’know.”

It’s a weird sight, seeing a strong man like him baby talking to your stomach while having his cheek pressed up against your belly. He’d take at least one hour in his day just to talk to your baby and tell it aaaalll about your and his day.

“Your mom threw up onto our new carpet and that’s your fault, you know that, right? I’m gonna kick your ass for it one day. Maybe when you become a shitbag in your teenage years.”

Sickness

“In both sickness and in health,” and Sanemi meant that wholeheartedly after speaking those words out loud during your wedding. Even if that means sitting beside you in the middle of the night, holding your hair and patting your back while you throw your guts up. He’s sleepy, he’s tired, but he won’t return to back without you. If Sanemi has to, he’ll cook up some tea or soup for you to calm your stomach. He’d even break Shinobu’s door down for some herbs or medicine if it means making you feel better and cuddling you back to sleep with no worries.

“You’re okay, I’m here. Don’t hold back.”

If you’re throwing up for a while, Sanemi might fall asleep in the hunched over position while holding your hair behind your head, his hand still firmly resting on your shoulder in quiet support. He jumps back awake when you throw up violently again.

“Ugh, you good? Told you seaweed n’ cherries don’t go together…”

Birth

Sanemi wanted to complete one last mission before retiring for good. He noticed how his muscles were starting to soften up and the callouses in his hands began to disappear. Just one last mission, then he’ll become a full-time dad! He promised you it’ll be for just three nights and that Shinobu will be looking out for you while he’s gone. You two can talk about preparations, body changes and whatever you two always talk about.

He was close to tracking this scum demon down when he received a message from his crow about you going into labour. Sanemi wanted to go on a mission one time, just one time! Can’t you hold the baby in or something until he comes home? He knows that he has to behead this demon before coming home. That thing already did enough harm and he didn’t want to retire on a bad note by ditching his final mission. So, Sanemi proceeded to chase the demon down while steaming in anger. He wanted to go on a mission just ONE last time, damnit!!

“COME BACK HERE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!! MY WIFE’S GIVIN’ BIRTH, WHILE I’M CHASING YOUR SORRY ASS!!”

Shinobu helped you through the whole process of giving birth. The contractions and labour lasted for almost half a day, and you managed to almost broke two of the three butterfly girl’s hand in an attempt to release some pain. You were supposed to hold Sanemi’s hand and almost break his bones while giving birth, not theirs! Shinobu kept reassuring you that Sanemi surely is already on his way! Surely. She had her soft smile on her face the whole time while you pushed and screamed through the pain, reassuring you and offering all kinds of ways to relieve pain during the whole process.

After Sanemi returned from his missions, he was staring at two babies in your arms. His eyes darted back in forth from the one to another. The baby on your left had beautiful white hair and was squirming around a lot, grabbing your robes and was seemingly already complaining about the lack of feeding you’re doing. The other baby had darker hair and was much calmer. It was asleep, resting against your chest.

His heart shattered in a million pieces after processing what just happened. In a good way, that is. He never commented on it, but Sanemi did notice that you were a little bigger for being pregnant with only one baby. He just brushed it off as being a bit bloated or the baby being really big, but never that it were two babies that were hogging all the food you were devouring. Sanemi was bawling his eyes out while holding both of his babies in his arms for the first time. They’re so tiny, so cute and chubby! How could anyone not love them? He was barely able to speak while trying to express how much he loves you and is so glad that you and the babies are fine. This is everything he had ever hoped for: a perfect wive, a family home and two kids. If only his other siblings were here to celebrate this moment with him. Perhaps he’ll allow Genya to visit every now and then.

“I-I- *hic* W-We need an-another- *hic* … the crib’s not b-big enough- f-for- *hic* gah, f-fuck!! *hic*

Bonus: A tight crib

You noticed how Sanemi insisted on putting the babies back to sleep every time they woke up during the night for anything. You usually fall back asleep and wake up in the mornings back in his arms, but tonight, you wanted to wait until he returns to bed to cuddle him. After the babies quieted down and your husband didn’t return, you dragged yourself out of bed and stepped into the nursery, only to find Sanemi laying inside the cramped crib, having the baby lay on one side and the other on the other. He was laying in an extremely uncomfortable position, with hid neck bend at an awkward angle and him laying in the crib with his legs dangling out over the edge. You couldn’t help but giggle a little, seeing your husband scarfing his own comfort for his babies.

“Nemi?…”

Your whispering made his eyes flutter open. His face contorting into a tired scowl.

“It’s the only way to put ‘em to sleep, not my fault they like me so much.”

Now, are the babies attached to their papa, or is Sanemi being very attached to them?

Kyojuro Rengoku

Food cravings

Whatever you’d like to eat, he’ll provide! Sometimes, if the combinations you come up with sound appetising enough, Kyojuro’ll even try some the foods alongside you! He will not judge you for craving weird foods during your pregnancies, but he is a little worried about your choices. You need to make sure that you eat enough nutrients for you and the baby! Kyojuro’ll try his best to cook up something nice for you, but he ends up buying take-out and feeding that to you instead. He’s scared he might burn something or accidentally poison you, so he’d rather leave food up to the chefs.

“I brought some tempura, some soup dumplings, ramen, udon noodles, mushed and baked sweet and regular potatoes. Oh! And some dessert… Mochi, dango and a slice of cake! Everything you ordered, my flame!”

Shinjuro, after finding out about your pregnancy, would offer to cook for you sometime. He used to make meals for Ruka while she was pregnant, so he thought he might make himself useful and help out. Kyojuro’s father actually vowed to stop with the drinking to make sure his grandkid doesn’t grow up around a drunk grandpa, so this is a first nice step for him. Besides, he feels guilty for being so terrible to Senjuro and Kyojuro.

His meals are surprisingly very well made and tasty. They soothe your nausea, lessen the swelling in the feet and help a lot with your headaches.

“Father, I never knew you could cook this good!” “Shut up and eat your plate.”

Mood swings

Kyojuro feels like he’s causing your mood swings sometimes. He feels guilty when you start crying over little things, like how your favourite tree is starting to change colours in the leaves, or just how much you missed your husband after him leaving for half an hour to get you dinner. He’s used to comforting Senjuro while the two grew up together, so he might know a thing about holding someone. Kyojuro would pull you closer and place lots of kisses on your head and top of your head, rubbing your shoulder with his warm hands. His warmth is very comforting to you, making you calm down a little.

“Are you feeling unwell? What made you so upset, love?”

He’ll try to cheer you up by talking about baby names. In his family, most of the names sound similar and end with an “juro”. Shinjuro, Senjuro, Kyojuro… how about Tojuro? Sounds nice, doesn’t it!? Or how about Kijuro? Or how about you combine your first letters with Juro? That sounds very fitting! And see, your tears are already gone!

“I’m not sure if we should think about girl’s names, my love! My family birthed sons for generations now! But we can write some down if you like, just in case.”

Sickness

Seeing you sick makes Kyojuro nervous, but he’ll stay beside you during your morning sicknesses and nausea. You kind of remind him of his mother, back when she was in the late stages of her sickness, that’s why he gets a little jumpy when you hunch over the toilet snd wretch your guts out. He’ll hold your hair and gently caress your back, silently hovering beside you.

To make sure you don’t have to get out of bed in the middle of the night to throw up, Kyojuro equipped your nightstand with a bowl you can throw up into anytime you felt nausea hitting you.

“I’ll make some tea for you once you get nauseous again, okay? My mother’s recipe.”

Talking to the baby

Kyojuro loves to talk to your stomach as if the baby is already out and able to talk back. He’d sit beside you in bed, gently caressing the side of your stomach while grinning brightly.

“What kind of hair will you have, hm? Like mine? Or like mom’s?”

Sometimes, he’ll try to convince the baby to let you sleep for once. If you can’t sleep, Kyojuro can’t sleep. He’d lay his head on your chest and sleepily mumble to the stomach while slowly rubbing your sides.

“You’re quite the active one, hm?.. mh.. How about we go to sleep together, okay? Be a good kid and give your mommy some rest…”

Birth

When your water first broke, Kyojuro thought the baby might’ve kicked your bladder or something, causing you to leak. But the horror on your face that followed soon after changed his mind in an instant. He sent out a crow to Shinobu, notifying her about your labour, but it might take a while until she arrives. In the meantime, your husband prepared all the things for a homebirth. You probably wont be able to reach the butterfly mansion in time to give birth there, but in the meantime, would you like water? Food? Sweets? A towel? Maybe not the last one because you’re able to hit him with that. You’re very angry about him impregnating you nine months ago while being in painful labour right now.

Shinobu surprisingly arrived very quickly and got right to work. Her soft voice and kind words as encouragement managed to calm you down as far as to not curse Kyojuro and all his ancestors out. Your anger directed at him actually helped you press the baby, so your husband happily sat there and held your hand while you were attempting to break it while redirecting your pain

Finally, after hours on hours of labour, Shinobu’s encouragement and Kyojuro’s hand turning blue from blood being cut off, you birthed two identical twins. Both had your husband’s flamboyant hair colour and prominent eyebrows. Your husband was trembling and crying after seeing them for the first time. His babies, his kids! And two of them?? In one go?? This couldn’t have gone any better. For around the next hour, while your babies were nursing on you, he kept thanking you for everything you ever did for him.

“I-I love you! I-I love y-you! Th-Thank you for marrying m-me, my fl-flame! Than-Thank you for giving me t-two babies! Thank y-you! T-Thank you!!”

Bonus: Tasty hair

Your babies are for some reason obsessed with your husband’s hair. Maybe it’s because of how bright his hair is or how nice it is to chew on it. You caught Kyojuro offering his baby his hair to hold and play around with, only for it to start pulling tightly on it. It hurts a little and he’s not quite sure how his baby got this strength out of nowhere, but he’s incredibly happy that his baby likes his hair so much!

But he also learned that the twins prefer their grandpa’s hair a little more over his. Shinjuro doesn’t appreciate it as much as Kyojuro is, though. He tolerates them pulling on his hair but doesn’t like it. At all. He’ll glare at his son until he finally takes his baby away from his damn hair! His scalp is already burning!

(But we all know that Shinjuro takes them back into his arms on purpose to tickle their stomachs and to let them pull on his hair as they please. They’re just too cute!)

“My flame, could you help me remove our child? This one seems particularly fascinated by the taste of my shampoo!”

Gyomei Himejima

Food cravings

Gyomei will not always give into your odd cravings. Instead, he’ll try to redirect your cravings to tastier things. He’s worried that you don’t get enough nourishment for the baby and for yourself, so Gyomei’ll try to feed you healthy foods instead of eating the creations you came up with. Why do you even thought about eating pieces of clay you picked up from right next to the waterfall? You’re lucky Genya caught you before you managed to take a bite.

To be completely honest, Gyomei is incredibly worried that you’re eating things you aren’t supposed to eat while he’s not watching/listening.

“Love, what are you chewing?”

His calm and deep voice makes you stop munching on the raw onion and immediately put it back down onto the counter of the kitchen.

Gyomei insists on cooking for you, even if he’s blind. He’s surprisingly good with cooking and always manages to slip vegetables into the meals in the tastiest way possible! You somehow never notice and just are incredibly happy that he takes some time out of his day just to cook meals for you! Sometimes, Genya joins in when you two eat and just chats with you about your husband’s training and his big brother. He’s also very curious about your pregnancy and how you’re coming along. That boy is just as excited about your baby as your husband is! Genya even gifted you one of his best bonsai trees to keep in the nursery!

“Miss Himejima, are you still hungry? You can have my plate if you like, I’m going to meet up with Tanjiro to eat later in the city together anyway.”

Mood swings

Gyomei understands that your hormones are going a little crazy during your pregnancy, but he still gets a little surprised when your mood changes so suddenly. You get emotional mostly over Genya and how hard he’s training to make up with his brother. You cry everytime when you see him train hard under Gyomei. Your husband finds it kind how much empathy you’re feeling for that boy, but the poor boy can’t really concentrate when a crying pregnant lady watching him train. So, your husband suggested you to not watch them train as much anymore and instead do something else. As compensation, Gyomei promises you to tell you everything he and Genya have been doing that day.

Sometimes, when you get angry out of nowhere, Gyomei’ll just let you throw your little tantrum while listening you silently. After you finished, he might suggest exorcising you as a joke to lighten your mood, but his serious tone and unmoving expression made him look like he’s serious. Wich makes you cry.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m not going to exorcise you, I promise, my pearl. I would only do that in the extrem case.”

Sickness

Gyomei knows how to deal with sicknesses and nausea. Once you express feeling sick in any way, he’ll prepare a special herbal tea, open up all the windows for fresh air, feed you crackers and dry food, and of course, equip you with a bowl to vomit into just in case. He’ll sit with you in bed, your head laying on his thighs and his palm resting on your forehead, slowly petting your hair.

He’s mumbling quiet prayers for you and your baby, his deep and smooth voice calming your stomach slowly. Gyomei’d smile softly while having his eyes closed. You told him that his smile is always making you calm, so he’s trying to smile more often for you.

“How are you feeling? I can brew you another cup if you like, it’ll help you.”

Talking to the baby

Gyomei barely talks to the baby while you’re awake. He’ll sometimes lean down and mumble a couple of greetings and kind words before moving on with his day, but when you fall asleep at night, your husband likes to have one-on-one conversation with his child. He’d have his large palm resting on your belly, rubbing it up and down. Gyomei sometimes nuzzles into your sides and places a few kisses on the side before talking.

He’d be praying first, making sure that the baby is alright and’ll come healthy into the world. Then, he’d quietly talk about you. Your husband’ll talk about the things you like to do, about how emotional you get over Genya, how you pout everytime he leaves early in the mornings to train, how much he loves you and how you insisted on get even more toys, even though the toybox is already filled to the brim.

“We are both very excited to meet you… please be more kind to your mother until birth. Her bladder is not as strong during the pregnancy, so do not test it again.”

Birth

Gyomei was praying the whole time he was waiting outside the chambers of where you were currently yelling in pain. His eyes were closed in concentration and his palms rubbing together, his red pearly beads wrapped around his hands. He could hear every mumble of Shinobu to Aoi, every curse you’re throwing around and every bed creak after changing the position. Shinobu suggested that Gyomei should wait outside since he’s quite large and they need more space to move around you. You promised to him that you’ll be fine on your own. He has been crying and praying, crying and praying the whole time for you and the baby, until finally, everything got quiet. Your cries died down, but there wasn’t any signs of a baby crying either. Gyomei was silent, stopping his prayers for a moment.

Until finally, first one baby, then another started to cry out. Two? You were carrying two miracles in your stomach all this time? Shinobu permitted Gyomei back inside and allowed him to meet the babies for the first time. They felt so incredibly tiny in his arms, so so tiny and fragile… The babies are the most precious things, and he felt like the luckiest man in all of history, holding his babies in his arms. His voice was very shaky and more tears than usual were running down his face.

“My love. I thank you for all eternity for giving me this gift… thank you. I am incredibly grateful for everything you have ever done for me.”

Bonus: Who’s who?

Given that Gyomei’s blind, he has always relied on his senses to move through the world. But funnily to you, his senses fail to differentiate wich baby is who. Sometimes you catch your husband holding one of the babies, standing silently there, thinking about who exactly he’s holding right now.

“Need some help, dear?”

Your voice made him turn his head towards you, smiling slightly.

“Yes, I already fed one of our twins. I went to retrieve more milk and lost track of wich one I already fed.”

His voice sounded a little confused but also slightly amused. Stepping closer, you saw how the baby that was laying in the crib was uneasy and wiggling it’s legs around, while the one Gyomei was holding was calm and content. You figured that the squirmy one wasn’t fed yet and took the sleepy baby out of your husband’s arms, setting it back into the crib and taking out the other.

“Here, this one seems hungry, hm? Aren’t you?”

You sweet-talked the baby a little, tickling the little stomach, making it giggle and kick against your husband a little. Gyomei nodded quietly.

“Thank you. I have yet to figure out how to differentiate our twins properly.”

Giyu Tomioka

Food cravings

He’s a little confused out by your requests that keep getting weirder and weirder. Are you sure you want to eat that? If Giyu would eat that, he’d be throwing up. Oh wait, you actually are vomiting up regularly…

Giyu will give you everything you asked for, but hesitantly. Before placing the plate down, he’d eye you up and down, judging you heavily for what he’s about to dish you. His silent judging eyes are enough to second guess your life choices that made you ask your poor husband to cook mashed potatoes mixed in with strawberry yogurt and sakura mochi with fish filling. Perhaps you’ll take the miso soup instead.

Sometimes, he’ll get so worried he approached Shinobu by himself and asked if there’s any medication he can give to you to make you crave less weird things and eat more healthy. Sadly, there is nothing like that, so Giyu’ll eventually resolved to force feed you regular foods instead. He’ll sit you down and feed stir fried veggies, rice, eggs, soup, tea, dessert and whatnot. Anything else but the monstrosity you keep craving.

One time, he caught you mixing chocolate sauce and soup together in the middle of the night. Giyu was just standing in the doorframe, looking utterly defeated and distraught at your actions.

“I love you, but can you stop poisoning our baby? I want it coming out of you alive.”

Mood swings

Giyu feels like he’s the reason you feel upset so suddenly. Perhaps he should’ve cleaned the house more, or finally finish building that crib. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be so angry so randomly. He still is quite surprised how quickly your emotions can change from happy to sobbing about the cuteness of the teddybear Giyu brought home for the baby. It’s confusing.

He’ll try to comfort you the best he can, but your husband already struggled to comfort you when you’re not pregnant and had real reasons to cry about, so how is Giyu supposed to comfort you when you sob over the rice being undercooked?

He’ll just awkwardly pull you into a side-hug, rubbing your shoulders gently.

“Do you want chocolate? I heard people eat chocolate when sad. Or do you just want a hug?”

Sickness

You throwing up and being sick is making Giyu sick. While you throw up into the toilet, your husband would hold your hair back while leaning over the sink, trying not to vomit himself. After your morning sickness passes, he still remains crouched over the sink for a moment longer before preparing a ginger tea for the both of you. He’ll lay in bed for a while, cuddling the blanket while sipping on his tea. He looks like a wet, depressed cat, sipping on his tea with a straw while lying on his stomach like that. He mostly recovers after finishing his tea, but sometimes, he gets really sick. You’ll be forced to take care of your nauseous husband who is supposed to be taking care of you right now! How is he supposed to handle watching you birth your child? How can he slay demons but is not able to watch you throw up?

“Love… can you get me another cup of ginger tea? I’m getting sick again…”

Talking to the baby

Giyu didn’t start talking to your baby until you encouraged him to do so. You told him that talking to the baby creates a bond before it’s even born! So, he’ll slowly start conversations with your belly. He’s not sweet-talking to your stomach, but instead awkwardly holding a conversation with it as if he’s speaking to an adult. Giyu’d sit across you on the bed, his hands propped on his thighs, leaning forward slightly.

“So… how is it like inside the womb? When do you want to come out and meet your mom and dad?”

Birth

Giyu was very panicked when you went into labor. He send out a crow to Shinobu immediately and began assembling something similar to a throne made out of towels and blankets. He forced you to sit down and make yourself comfortable while he waiting on the porch to see when the butterfly hashira is coming. His grip was to tight on the fence of the engawa, he accidentally shattered the wood.

He tried to watch you giving birth, but once he saw the head slowly press out of you, he couldn’t anymore. Giyu held your hand in support and let you squeeze as hard as you want, but he was turned away your lower body, facing you instead. Once he heard the baby’s cries fill the room, he snapped his head around in an instant.

Your husband almost fainted when he saw another baby slowly squeeze out of you. Shinobu handed Giyu the first baby, wich was already wrapped in a towel, so she could direct her attention back to the second baby. His head felt dizzy while holding his baby, not able to comprehend that he’s about to be the father of two. He only build one crib, there’s no room for another. Is he even capable of raising two kids? What if they outnumber and team up on him once they grow up? Now he has twice the chance to fail at parenting and become a bad father!

But once your husband held both babies, all his worries washed away. It was like he was in some sort of trance, watching the babies just sleep and squirm around a little. Giyu didn’t even notice how he started crying until his tears fell onto one of his baby’s forehead and started crying.

“Ahh… uhm. How do you calm a baby down? Do you just rock it? Uhm. Help me, please-“

Bonus: How are you supposed to know what they want?

You watch your husband stress out over why the baby is crying for so many times already, and they’re only two weeks old. You caught him talking to your baby multiple times, just straight up asking what they want. He’s slowly starting to get desperate and you can see it.

“You want food?… No? You wanna be held? Maybe… play? Also no? What do you want then?”

Somehow, only you could understand when and what your babies want. Giyu watches in awe as you immediately figure out that the baby wants to be held and fed, and how quickly they calm down afterwards. You’re just magical, truly.

“How do you know? What do you know that I don’t?”

💠

Phew, this took a while to write! Hope you enjoyed this anon! I tried to incorporate the requested things in this ask from another post of mine, but I might’ve forgotten some. Anyways, my posts haven’t gotten much traction lately, so I hope this one’ll do a little better! I’m looking forward to reading all the reposts and comments you leave, I read every single one of them! Just know that they make me smile like an idiot <3

Anyways, make sure to EAT, SLEEP and DRINK enough!

Take care of yourselves <3

Note: Over 200 Notes!! Tysm!! <33

— I’d like to credit my cat as a co-author and professional purrer.

[livwritesstuff]

i was writing a totally different thing and then all of a sudden it was thundering so here have this

Steve had always loved a good thunderstorm. There’s something sort of magic about them, he thinks, about the greenish, unnatural darkness and the way lightning turns the sky a kind of purple and how the air is both cool and warm at the same time.

Back when he was a teenager, when he was stuck by himself the mausoleum his parents called home, he’d sometimes sit by the patio door and watch the storm, watch the clouds opened up and beat rain down on the pool water, and Steve would feel more alive than he had in ages – even if it felt like he was living vicariously through…something. Maybe through how nature gets to storm and rage in a way Steve never will.

But he tries not to psychoanalyze himself. He’s got his own therapist for that.

Twenty-five years later, here he is still watching thunderstorms. He might not have a pool, but he does have a porch which, in his old age of forty-two, he’s learning might be even better.

He’s sitting on the porch with his husband by his side, and Eddie’s got their youngest daughter sitting in his lap while the older two dance in and out of the rain.

Eddie doesn’t like thunderstorms the way Steve does. It had sort of surprised Steve actually, when he first found out years and years ago because…it’s Eddie. Eddie is like a thunderstorm personified in the best way – all sharp smiles and dark eyes and wild hair and loud, reckless rebellion. Sure, Eddie isn’t bothered by the noise of thunderstorms, but over their years together, Eddie has shared some things — things about his dad and what he’d been able to get away with during a dark, loud storm that maybe he couldn’t otherwise.

So Steve gets it if Eddie still isn’t quite himself during thunderstorms.

Their youngest, Hazel, isn’t a fan of them either. She’s just a few months shy of her second birthday, so this really is the first summer she’s had her own opinions about these kinds of things. The verdict – not a fan of the thunderstorms, though she’s been a trooper about this one.

"Hazy, come play!" Robbie exclaims from the porch steps, but Hazel just shrinks further back against Eddie.

"She's a little afraid of the noise, Beans," Steve tells her, and he watches Robbie's face take on an expression of protective (albeit a little confused) concern.

“How come?” she asks as comes up the steps.

“It can be scary if it’s brand new.”

As if to illustrate Steve’s point, lightning flashes above the trees, and Hazel makes a whimpery kind of whine as thunder follows only a few moments later.

“It’s not scary, Hazel,” Robbie tells her, “Because you always know when thunder’s coming because lightning comes first. And it’s only loud when the storm is close.”

Steve raises his eyebrows, reminding himself that one of these days he’s gotta stop being so impressed by how damn smart his kids are.

Another flash of lighting lights up the dark sky, and Robbie covers Hazel's ears with her hands as she looks out into the rain, "And now there's gonna be the thunder."

A few moments later, thunder rumbled around them, maybe a little bit quieter than the last one because the storm is definitely moving away from them now. Still, Hazel reaches up to grip at Robbie’s wrists, her eyes wide and fixated on the stormy sky.

“See?”

Hazel manages a nod.

“Come play!” Robbie urges her again, “I’ll cover your ears before the thunder comes.”

And this time, Robbie actually succeeds in dislodging Hazel from Eddie’s lap, and together they head for the front yard where Moe is still running around in the rain, wet bangs plastered to her forehead.

“Steve,” Eddie mutters in disbelief as Robbie patiently waits for Hazel’s slow descent of the porch stairs, breaking his and Steve’s subconscious agreement to keep their traps shut while that glorious scene was unfolding, “Oh my god, Steve. What the fuck was that? Are we actually doing a good job raising these kids?”

“I guess so, Jesus Christ.” 

[vampiretendencies]

i would die for your heaven

summary; everything jj would do taking a shower with you; headcanon version

authors note; this is a HEADCANON, i wanted to title it something meaningful though. requests are open, or if you’d like more of these that as well :) and this is a short one but i’m working on multiple things rn.

warning; this is fluff

pairing; jj x fem!reader

If JJ hears shower water running and he’s not there, he will pester you into letting him join always. He could literally be in the middle of smoking a blunt, either way he’s hauling it toward the bathroom.

Who does she think she is? To shower alone? Without me? He’d think to himself everytime.

Literally taken aback.

JJ always sees it as a two for one, he gets endless touching and everlasting glances at your figure from the moment he got in to the moment he got out.

But he wasn’t always languishing that shower in a sexual manner.

It was desirable to give his ethereal devotion to you.

In every way, all the love he kept hidden for years was reserved for a company such as yours.

This fascination of having you in any way you’d allow him to.

He’d always ease his way into the bathroom coming up with some excuse.

“Man, I suddenly have to brush my teeth”

“Whew what do you know, gotta’ piss now!”

Or he’d just just come out say “If you don’t let me shower with you, m’gonna make a scene!”

Either way JJ knew you’d give into him, there was no doubt in his mind. Reminding you of the time you said he was irresistible.

And a plus is that it’s JJ, like look at him.

You’d have some sort of melodic tune brewing into the steamy shower air

and he’d eagerly peek his head in through the curtain.

“Fuck, I made a good choice, when I chose you,” he’d ramble on to compliment you. “Sometimes a man just really needs a pat on the back for that.”

“You aren’t getting one.”

He’d smirk, knowing full well you were lying through your teeth.

“You know you want to, baby.”

“Don’t just stand there, get in!”

JJ would strip to nothing, nearly tripping over himself to gawk at you. He pulls the curtain open wide, happily stepping in, whilst you’d lean back under the searing water to wet your hair.

Hands immediately wrapping around your waist, like an instinct. Flesh got to the touch not only from the water, but because he’s salivating and his body was aching to be near yours.

“So, so pretty.”

He’d always mumble, skin sticking to yours whilst he greeted you with several kisses to your neck.

“Help me wash my hair?”

He would almost admit that it was his favorite part but it wasn’t, his favorite part was just being in your presence.

To breathe in your oxygen.

“Smells like yummy.”

“Vanilla bean, J.”

He said that the last time, but he did it again just so he could see that same wholehearted grin on your face.

[despairots]

could you do a story where miles from earth-42 and our miles are twins and we cant decide which one we like better as we like both of them? you can write the story however you want to!

━━━━━━━━ if i were you, i’d do me.

earth1610! miles morales x gn! hacker! reader x earth42! miles morales. fluff and if you like squint really really hard you’ll find angst. 18 and above please dni, unless your my moot or something… i forgot to change my requests to open but u can send me requests (only abt atsv) just like be patient cuz im daydreaming and shit 🙏

pls ignore the title its nothing suggestive i was braindead and was listening to my saved audios on tiktok this was thw first one on my saved so el oh el 🤕 i gotta keep my writing grind up. keep in mind that earth 1610 miles will keep beinf spiderman and earth 42 will keep being prowler. if y dont know sliver wolf from hsr, switch her up cuz reader is heavily based off of her

this’ll be left on a cliffhanger cuz like idk i just dont wanna make another part and sometimes things are better off with cliffhangers since you guys have creative minds you can come up with your own scenarios

where in a dimension, earth42 and earth1610 miles morales are twins, may look the same but have completely different hairstyles and different personalities also another weird, interesting fact, you’re a sucker for twins, especially them.

interesting fact about you, specifically you, is that you almost got caught by the government when hacking into their system to steal some information.

and of course, them having connections to spiderman, told him to go after this hacker who causes a lot of trouble for the government.

miles morales obviously being under that mask and friends with this hacker who knew that you hated authority (yes, you’re an anarchist), didn’t bother doing anything, probably just telling you to stop messing with them.

on the other hand, his twin bother, myles morales, encourages this behaviour. polar opposites but two cuties, and you, who got roped into romance with them.

“[name], what’d i say about hacking the government?” miles scolded you as you chewed on bubblegum with your feet propped onto your desk, holographic screens in front of you.

“i don’t know, me forgot.” you nonchalantly shrugged, spinning your chair to go back to your screens and swiping left to play the weeknd.

miles spinning you back and placing his arms on your arm rests, too close to your liking.

you smirked with a light scoff, “your brother likes it.” miles rolls his eyes at the mention of him, “i don’t care what he likes.” he snapped back, obviously lying.

miles leaned back with a sigh, “god, what am i gonna do with you?” “maybe get off my ass.” you muttered, not knowing if miles heard that, to which he did.

“i’m sorry, what?”

you jumped at that, quickly shooting your arms up and trying to find excuses, opening your mouth like a fish.

your voice’s overlapped eachother, unable to hear his twin brother opening the door to your room, mask off and everything.

he looked at you who kept stumbling on words.

miles spider sense went off and looked at the entrance, seeing the one guy who encourages your behaviour, “what - what did you tell them?” myles smirked and shrugged.

“i didn’t say anything, bro.” he placed his claws on your bed and sat down on it, “i am not your bro.” miles chuckled and sat down on your bean bag.

“um actually-“

“shut up.”

“cope.” you playfully stuck your tongue out at miles who smiled and rolled his eyes, god you loved his smile. i mean, what?

you don’t love them, boo, you hate them.

“dude, tell [name] that if i don’t catch the ‘hacker’ i’m gonna get my ass kicked.” miles and his brother made eye contact, “i hope you do.” myles replied with a playful tone.

miles threw his hands up, “you guys are actually evil.” you laughed at his comment, “we’re actually vigilantes.” myles pointed out, patting his brother’s shoulder (the bean bag literally beside your bed).

you smiled at the two with light pigment on your cheeks, “i really wanna kiss you guys—“ you paused your sentence with embarrassment, realizing you were saying your thoughts out loud.

the two paused and looked at you, blinking, “eso es adorable, amor—“ “get out.”

“¿qué dijiste, amor?”

“i hate you guys. kill yourselves. espero que te resbales y te caigas en tu próxima misión.” you rolled your eyes and buried your face into your hands as the two twins looked at eachother.

“you don’t mean that, amor.” you groaned at the nickname the two labelled you. it made you want to giggle, twirl your hair and kick your feet like a schoolgirl.

you blushed when you felt an arm sneak around your neck, hugging you against your chair with their head beside your ear, “te gustamos los dos, ¿verdad, amor?”

god, you couldn’t choose between the two.

[name] when they keep getting teased and literally cannot deal with it.

[wildeoscars]

Mr. Hickey, sir, you claim you’re a Limerick man, but I can’t help but notice that accent of yours. You see, I got a buddy in the force from around Limerick, and when you get the guy talking it’s hard to keep up. It’s like he’s speaking a whole other language! Though I guess sometimes it’s that, uh, Gaelic. Absolutely stunning language. But, I suppose that doesn’t mean much. Spend enough time somewhere and you pick up how the locals talk. You shoulda seen me after a week in Texas!

But I digress. I just got a few questions for you about the double homicide, your lieutenant and the other fella. I’m sure it’s nothing, but I gotta follow protocol. You say it was the Netsilik who attacked out of nowhere, right?

The locals are notoriously friendly, aren’t they? Why, I can’t even say a word in that Inuktitut and the ones I met shared some of their meat with me! Wish I coulda told them how to make it into a delicious chili, but it’s probably hard to find the beans out in all that snow. I couldn’t imagine any of those generous folks raising a hand against me.

But you know what they say, one bad apple can spoil the bunch. Strange that they brought a little girl on their war party though.

Thank you for your time, Mr. Hickey, I’ll be out of your hair now.

Oh, one more thing. Where did you get those boots? I gotta find myself some of those, my wife’s taking me to her folks’ cabin in Nebraska this December and I’m sure a refined man such as yourself would know exactly where to get the perfect pair. JF, strange brand…

[puppetwoman17]

A Happy House: Part 1

Headcanon that when there are any quarrels or fights between league members, they cool down at Billy’s apartment.

I see this happening in the future when Billy’s like, early to mid 20s. He’s finally settled to the point where he doesn’t always worry about becoming a homeless kid again. People in the League know him as understanding to a fault, and always willing to listen to both sides of the story. His apartment is homey, and there are always magical creatures or family walking around, like his sister, best friend, or uncle Dudley. Maybe a celestial or a god is visiting. Maybe the universe’s higher ups are having a meeting in his dining room. Whatever is happening, it calms everyone down.

Sometimes it’s Connor, coming in from another fight with Clark. Sometimes it’s a fellow Magic user who feels ostrisized because of their power. Other times, it’s a Batfamily member who wants Bruce off their tail, and Billy will gladly use a shield spell to give them privacy from Batman’s detective skills. Other times it’s members of the Team after arguing with the JL. Or the JL sorting out a quarrel amongst themselves with Billy’s careful judgement.

Billy doesn’t know why he’s such a calming presence to them. He’s known them since he was a child, yes, a kid who hadn’t even hit the double digits. But he tends to be blunt. Straight to the point. He makes sure to show he cares, but the feeling can feel foreign at times when the world keeps biting you in the ass. And he can get mad when people are so obliviously stupid it hurts. He’s seen and heard more than enough arguments between adults to know when they’re pulling bullshit or saying something that shouldn’t be said. It’s an art at this point.

But he’s mostly quiet when someone comes over, and when the other person is permitted to enter, he lets them hash the argument out themselves, offering nothing but privacy and a smile when they leave.

…So yeah, he’s confused. But he’s just happy to help.

And the JL, Team and Titans are grateful too. He’s their relationship wingman! The guy who you know to go to when things get heated. His home is an oasis of calm and care.

They can watch as the Batson siblings banter in the kitchen. They can watch Billy bring John Constantine in by the ear and rip him a new one. They can smile in amusement as Billy puts one over on his fellow higher ups in the magic community on a freakin ZOOM call!

He’s easy to be around. There’s no pressure from him, no questions needing answers. He’s also not biased(unless it’s more than obvious who’s in the wrong).

So yeah, the heroes love their not-so-little-anymore magic man.

They love him so much that they immediately clock onto when things go horribly, horribly wrong.

See, Billy doesn’t like to get angry. When he’s Cap, he’s afraid of the power he possesses. He gets nauseous when someone bows to him like he’s their boss or something(which you are Billy bean, you gotta deal with it). Even when he’s in his mortal form, he doesn’t go beyond a flood of curse words or a couple jabs built off stress.

But there are a few people who know what buttons to push, and they push them. A lot. So much so that he tends to get a little…loud.

Oh and did I mention he didn’t exactly TELL his coworkers that he had an uncle? Hell, that he did have a family, they just didn’t care enough to be with him?

Yeah, that’s not gonna lead to anything, I’m sure.

[magic-hcs]

Can I request for Papyrus, Sky and The Horrortale Brothers with Kindness Soul S/O who is a Baker and has a bakery (Also they have healing powers)

Thank you so much for the ask! And for being so patient with me. Bear’s ended up being very long while the others quite short. I also didn’t have much idea what to do with the healing powers.

Bear: Horrortale Sans

Sky: Underswap Sans

Bean: Horrortale Papyrus

Time to cast some magic and see what we’ll get!✨

✨✨

Papyrus: Papyrus loves to bake with you! He’s good at baking, it just looks like a mess at the end result yet somehow still tasting so very delicious. You two probably met at the baking club Papyrus goes to. Maybe you came over at the club to help out with a specific cake the club was going to prepare that day.

Papyrus saw you and was immediately attracted to you. Looking so beautifully and handsomely in that apron of yours and with that focused yet kind look on your face. How could he not fall so easily for you?

✨✨

Sky: He gets very happy whenever you come by with some new treats you made. You’re his go to place for coffee and a treat before he’s off to work. Loves helping you in the kitchen. Somehow, the both of you always end up with a bit of flour covering you both.

You gotta keep an eye on him when he handles stuff that needs a sense of smell while baking since he has none. (It’s the reason why his food sometimes ends up inedible.)

Sky’s an amazing taste tester though.

✨✨

Bear: Bear had just been walking back home from the animal shelter when the sweet scent registered within him. He came to a complete halt, the single eyelight in his socket enlarging slightly. Completely forgetting what Bear priory was heading to, to instead follow this amazingly smelling trail. He didn’t have to walk that far, the source of the smell - which ended up being a newly opened bakery - was quite close by.

It was a cozy looking little thing. With brown chairs that look to be made of braided and weaved materials, and wooden tables with carved decorations standing just outside the bakery. There were two big window panes se with small different colored stained glass decorating just above the window sills.

A big chalkboard stood just outside, and written in big letters were the words 'GRAND OPENING, SWEETENDLILY'S OWN WHIPPED CREAM CHERRY MUFFINS AND BANANA SWISS ROLLS'

Bear walked in accompanied by a little 'ding' sound of the bell hanging just above the door, followed by a voice calling out a "I'm coming."

The smell came from behind the door where the voice had called out to him. Bear tugged slightly at his beany making sure it was still in the right place. Hiding the big crack in his skull. The smell became stronger and there you were. Mittens covering your hands which held a big tray of sweet scented bread. You looked up at him and your eyes widened, never having seen a living skeleton before. But you seemed to get yourself under control fast and grinned at him. “Welcome to Sweetendlily! Wheat can I do for you today?”

That pun had almost flown over his head if you hadn’t been grinning at him expectedly.

And that’s how it all started. And when I say all started I mean really all started. You were assertive, straightforward and kind. You left Bear reeling with your delicious treats, dazzling smiles and laughs, baking based puns and sugary flirts. Poor boy just kept coming back like he was being called by a very welcoming siren’s song. It was to no one’s surprise that you were the first to make a move by giving Bear a muffin with frosting that spelled ‘muffin ask u on a date?’ With a little heart decorating the side. You two have been together ever since.

✨✨

Bean: Bean loves it whenever you come to visit, knowing you’re bringing all kinds of self made goodies with you to share with the brothers. He definitely asks you to give him the recipes of some of the pastries you often bake for him.

He likes to bake with you, especially the decorating.

Bean’s soul warms whenever you make something specially for him. It makes him feel so appreciated.

✨✨

✨✨

Thank you for participating in this spell, I hope it was to your satisfaction.

[godilovecinnamon222]

how to surv1ve thanksgiving and christmas d1nn3r with an 3d mini guide!

disclaimer:

i am by no means encouraging anyone to st4rv3 or to follow this guide, i made it hoping that it would reach the people that know they'll be struggling at holidays and that need this help. i know how scary and how hard it is to try and keep an 3d a secret, this is supposed to help the people that need to know how to avoid the judgement and the oddly terrifying questions that get thrown at them.

how to prepare:

i would say there's 2 ways to go about the day before the d1nn3r, e4ting so that you won't p4ss out infront of your entire family, or f4$ting, this is really up to you. i have a pretty good tolerance for not p4$sing out so i will probably be f4$ting but it's totally your choice!! you can also try and calculate how much your going to e4t and burn c41s according to that (i'll list basic f00ds and numbers at the bottom)

"why is there like nothing on your plate??"

first off the best way to avoid this entirely is to just make a plate, i'd rather avoid people finding out so i can keep doing what im doing

for your plate (if you make one) load it up with tonsss of vegetables or fruit but i feel like fruit is never really served tbh, and some meat bc yay protein, sometimes ill throw a roll on there to make my plate look a little better but i don't ever really eat it, my whole family thinks im a very picky e4ter and they know i dont like thanksgiving food so im typically able to get away with throwing out f00d. and family dinners are so chaotic that people don't even realize sometimes.

you can also cut your f00d up and reshape it etc (yall know this meathod 🙏) to make it look like you at3, mashed potatoes are very easy to spread around and make them look like less. here's some excuses you can use to respond to the question:

" oh i atę earlier!!" this is a classic obviously but if your with people before hand e4t a little something in front of them and really make sure they notice.

" i dont feel to good right now."

" im not super hun6ry" also a classic but in classics we trust!

"last time i atę ____ it made feel really sick"

" oh i'm allergic to ____" allergies are a solid excuse but i wouldn't use it unless you actually have them

" gotta save room for dessert!!" don't worry i'll also be explaining how you can get through that to

dessert:

i feel like this is almost more stressful than the main meal, honestly me and my favorite cousin walk like crazy when ever we're together so sometimes i get lucky and miss dessert and than it sits out but there's no one really makeing me ęat it, for our family dessert is mostly optional and my mom knows i don't like e4tin6 a ton of junk so she won't suspect anything but if your family's forcefull here's a few things you can do:

-go for something that you know is lower in c41s or a safe f00d for you

-have very tiny servings

- bake something yourself so you know exactly what your getting

-talk about how full you are while your eating dinner so people think less at dessert

" i might have something in a little bit!!" try to avoid saying things about f00d, like im still full from dinner or im letting my f00d settle, because than you won't have to deal with "but you barely 4tę anything!!"

know what your 3ating:

all of these are measured by the s3rving siz3 (also going to be listed) they may also vary depending on brands, ingredients, toppings, blah blah blah you guys probably know that. this is basically just a rough estimate

cranberry suace: 86 c41s, one slice (about 8 slices per can take that as you will)

- mashed potatoes: 214 c41s (1 cup)

- sweet potato casserole: 235 c41s (1 cup)

- green bean casserole: 200-230 c41s ( a little under 1 cup)

- green beans: 31 c41s (1 cup)

- broccoli: 31 c41s (1 cup)

- asparagus: 32 c41s (10 spears)

- mac and cheese: 310 c41s(1 cup)

- turkey: 240 c41s (1 cup)

- gravy: 36 c41s (3 tbs)

- stuffing: 300-400 c41s (1 cup)

- rolls: 80-150 c41s (one roll)

- pumpkin pie: 300-450 c41s (one slice)

- apple pie: 300-450 c41s (one slice)

- pecan pie 400-500 c41s (one slice)

these f00ds are mostly for thanksgiving because the whole holiday is centered around f00d and i actually despise that, let me know if i missed anything you want me to add to the list or if any of these are incorrect!!

with all of that said, if you enjoy thanksgiving or anything to do with f00d in general, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!!! no matter where you stand your 3d is still valid. so if you choose to try and make the best of the holidays to whatever extent that may be go right ahead and don't let anyone else stop you, make your self a plate of your your favorite things and go back for dessert twice if that's what you choose, one day won't ruin every step of progress you made, as long as you don't loose yourself entirely you will be ok!!

no matter who you are or how your struggling, your 3d is valid, good luck, be safe, and happy holidays!!!

[oopsiedaisiesbaby]

Okay so today I was thinking about how I believe that Gale likes to tell John how big he is during sex (his cock but also just his body in general) because it feeds into John’s ego and gets him off but Gale also loves how big John is especially compared to himself, he just pretends he says it only for John. (I feel like this is true in canon but also especially your KMITD verse) Like I feel like he goes super over the top with it sometimes throwing his head back and moaning like a pornstar “oh John you’re so big” when John puts his cock inside him or when Gale takes his cock out and into his dainty hands. And it does it for John like nothing else every single time no matter how many times Gale’s said it or how corny it is or how over the top Gale is about it.

HEARD 🙌

I love their size difference so much specifically because Gale is not small. Dude is tall, and sure he’s slim, but he’s built, not a bean pole. Unless you put him next to the absolute unit that is John and then he looks like a dainty little princess. That shit right there is like gold to me 👏

So, I could definitely see it being a thing for Gale who has always been strong and taken care of himself to enjoy feeling small and cared for around John (when he finally allows himself to) and that would absolutely translate into sex. I usually write Gale as significantly less talkative during sex (in general but especially compared to John) so I could see him waiting to whip out that line for a moment he knows it’ll make John absolutely mcfucking lose it😈

This would hit so hard in KMITD when John starts training in university and then in the pros and goes from a decently fit dude to a brick shithouse. The change would be gradual and I HC Gale as keeping up with him with exercise so he gets more built too so it takes a while to notice. However, there’s gotta be one day where he wakes up and looks at John or maybe pulls on one of his new jerseys and see how it hangs off of him and he has that “oh shit 😳” moment and jumps John.

Tell me why I want that moment to be John’s junior or senior year of college early one morning in the kitchen and it wakes poor Curt up who is both horrified and turned on by what he walks in on 🤣

[kat-124]

Walks over and flutters my eyelashes…you should totally tell me about your region genetic headcanons

ACKKKKK hey.

michael vsauce here, first i gotta explain another system i have in my headcanons. because goodness these guys are very, very diverse! and theres subcategories! my favorite! (everything below is headcanon territory, however I'll be formatting it as if its a fact or sm)

all demons belong to a 1st species, which basically means they have traits from whatever region they're spawned in.

theres Lost Temple demons, Thieve's Den, Playground, and Blackrock.

if you want, in another part i can talk abt how evolution/genes occurs in the first place when theres not really a 'passing down' of genes because i have explanations for that aswell! infact I'll happily explain anything further on request, i loove yapping

a 2nd species is basically a second set of traits mixed with the 1st species, this can be animalistic, object, concept, etc. (for example: wolf, fishing hook, music)

a 2nd species isnt always present, but when it is it can override 1st species traits, seemingly at random with less concern for survivability according to environment.

however, animalistic 2nd species are seen to commonly reflect the region theyre born into, whether this is because matching-animal 2nd species are more common or just that they survive more is unknown.

ANYWAYS

region genetics (aka 1st species)

~~~~ Lost Temple

lost temple demons tend to have thicker, rougher skin all over, rougher palms/soles, longer eyelashes, etc.

claws: longest of all the regions, demons tend to trim them though, to make modern life things easier. tend to be nonretractable. duller than other regions, in color and appearance. very sturdy, can be used for digging through materials like softer rocks, dirt, etc.

skin: lost temple demons tend to have darker skin when spawned, but many also just tan (grey-en? idk) from the sun. skin colors are random when spawned, but think of it as just being more common to be darker.

diet: omnivores. dried insects or lizards, beans, cacti, etc. seen as cultural foods and are quite common to find.

horns: Lost Temple horns can start to flake if not maintained, they are very sturdy, and are the heaviest out of the regions. they are quite solid, seeing a Lost Temple demon with a broken horn is a rare sight as it tends to be easier for the whole thing to be detached from the skull rather than fracturing. this makes them harder to customize shape-wise.

scutes: tend to line the upper side of the hands and feet, (think like reptiles or bird feet) scutes would also sometimes appear in 'armored' areas, like outside of forearm, shoulder, back of neck, along back, shins, outer thighs, etc.

while 'inside' softer skin areas would not have scutes. like the belly, inside of forearm, upper arm, inner thighs, etc.

scutes are shed periodically, and tend to be a mix or offset of horn + skin color. can be polished, traded or gifted afterward.

temp sensitivity: very temperature resistant, as the desert has an incredibly harsh climate (hot during the day, freezing at night) they have to in order to survive, even with shelter.

they dont tend to sweat very much, if at all, as it conserves water amounts.

Lost temple demons tend to be naturally nocturnal, as to avoid the heat, but have adjusted to being awake during the day due to the development of towns, the lifestyle of other factions, and such.

towns historically developed around rivers and oasises.

Lost Temple demons are generally quite tall

they tend to have a third eyelid, its a thin membrane they can shut it over their eye. this helps be able to see partially during sandstorms or if its windy. it freaks other regions out though.

Playground

Playground demons tend to have thicker skin especially at the palms and soles, they have

claws: Playgrounders tend to have medium sized claws, shorter than Lost temple ones. non-retractable. noticeably curved, very sharp, used for climbing or grappling easily. Playground demons will also file or trim their claws down to improve dexterity. they come in brighter colors.

skin: Playgrounders tend to be dark-midtone but having more colorful hues, (ie. they might be grey but with an hue overlay of another color, usually matching horn color.) smooth in texture.

diet: omnivores, fruits and vegetation are very common food sources, spices and herbs are also very common here, and are used in cooking often. avian meat is the kind thats most commonly consumed, aswell as reptiles. Playgrounders tend to have a wide diet.

playgrounders horns are the most malleable, they are softer and more sustainable to breaking or chipping. broken, cracked, or chipped horns are a common sight in Playground. they are smooth in texture.

Playgrounders tend to be shorter/smaller, however they tend to have longer tails than other factions. and these tend to be prehensile tails.

decorating yourself with colorful items and foliage used to be a sign that you were stronger/a threat, however, now its moreso just self expression and is very common.

very quick, along with being small they tend to be nimble and agile, good at evading something trying to chase them. theyre strong in a way that would make them not great at arm wrestles, but would be at tug of war.

very resistant to the humidity and heat. they do poorly in colder or less humid environments. they have pretty good poison tolerance.

Playgrounders also tend to be naturally nocturnal, but now are more active in the afternoon, especially at dusk. Playgrounders tend to nap often rather than taking long sleeps. theyre also light sleepers.

-------------

ok ive been letting this sit in draft for aaaawhile, im gonna post this now, ignore any mistakes they arent there, trust

might yap abt the other two factions in a 2nd part i dunno, feel free to ask me specific questions about my hcs, i find it easier to make a response if the question is more specific/narrow ^_^

[melting-houses-of-gold]

20 Questions for Writers

Thanks for the tag @chocmarss! ✨

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

10 (but 9 that are visible!)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

99,253 (so close to 100k!)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Star Wars (and ACOTAR in my google docs) and I'm trying to branch out into other fandoms for fun!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

could we live with just a taste?

The Valley of the Mythosaur

you are the beloved, longed-for destination in the end

just desserts

had we but world enough and time

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! I usually only do when I post something new, but given how slowly I've been posting, I'm trying to respond quicker.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This one

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This one!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no, not yet, and I'm a sensitive bean so please don't start!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do, but definitely aim for more sensual than explicit? I feel like with all things in my writing, I try to go more for vibes. If you're looking for something that's SUPER explicit and porn-y, I'm not your gal but there are plenty of other great writers who are and rock it!

10. Do you write crossovers?

I have!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yep!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I have so many ships, just in star wars alone!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Cries in the 1980s. iykyk

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm not great at giving myself compliments, especially when it comes to writing, but I always try to go for good imagery in my writing. I want the reader to feel like they're right there with the characters, experiencing what they're experiencing. It's why I usually go with present tense so that you can be breathless alongside them, happy when they're happy, etc.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I think I focus too much on inner angst and thoughts. Sometimes I'll go multiple paragraphs in a draft and realize nobody has spoken or moved in a thousand words!

I get too wrapped up in perfection. I'll rewrite a scene a million times, and sometimes it makes it better and sometimes you just gotta make it good enough, you know?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I would love to do it more!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Twilight -- don't go looking!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

ooh so tough! I love and hate all my fic equally, but I'm having a lot of fun with this road trip AU that I intend to get back to!

Tagging: @acatinwinterfell, @shardminds @beesays and anyone else who'd like to participate!

[isa-ghost]

Any specifically avian related qphil headcanons? I love that Phil being a bit more birdy is canon in the qsmp but whenever we get lore about it its angst

/I don't know why I'm asking if you have any, I know you got them /

*cupping my hands together and holding them out*

/give em here/

/pretty pleasee/

Oh fuck yeah man. I have an angel OC based off Phil, I've got PLENTY of avian headcanons >:)

Previous Headcanon Sets (x8)

MORE: Avian Edition

I've stated it in a prev set I think, but if you put this man in water his wings will sometimes involuntarily flap like he's in a birdbath. It's somewhat of a stim, bird brain just goes "you gotta."

I've also stated before that when he's stressed, his wings will flap kinda like the way someone might nervously shake out their hands.

Another restate, sometimes his laughs and startled yelps sound almost like squawks. Also his hiccups. It's very rare, but whenever it happens, he gets teased for it. Especially by Etoiles.

Another restate, sometimes his echolalia is his bird brain mimicking a sound he heard if it scratches an itch.

Yknow what just skim the previous headcanon sets I linked bc I talk so much about his wings & what he does with them & how he communicates using them. All those apply here.

Obligatory mirror and windows struggles mention.

Obligatory molting & preening struggles when stressed mention.

We've all seen the way he perches above everyone. It's probably his most prominent/noticeable avian trait.

Apparently camomile calms birds down. If this fool liked hot drinks, he'd have another way to settle his anxiety.

His obsession with noodles got him accused by Tubbo of enjoying them bc bird brain likes worms. He was NOT pleased. Almost gagged.

As long as you're careful around his wings, he LOVES back rubs. (It's bc the dumbass mf slept in that damn chair too much so now his back riots)

DO NOT THE WINGS. Petting them is one thing, he loves when Lullah hugs them, he thinks it's cute. But omg do not dig your fingers into his feathers. They're very sensitive. And that could mean tickling OR pain.

However if you gently do it, his wings will spread a little and his feathers poof up, which is kinda funny. It's like how if you touch a cat's foot the right way, their toes will spread out to present The Beans(tm). Blessed.

He likes to gift his shedded feathers to people he trusts. Chayanne, Lullah & Missa each have one. Although he's extremely close with Etoiles and Fit, he feels too awkward to give one to them yet. Feels a little too intimate.

Gift giving in general is a HUGE part of his love language though. Crow brain must give shiny things to people he loves yesyes.

Bird zoomies!! Wings poof up, he starts hopping all over the place like a big dork. He'd fly all over too, if he could.

Bobs his head to music. Those videos of pet birds dancing? That's Phil babey!!

Another one of his fave bits is pretending to understand and have a full-on conversation with birds. Loves pretending to gossip with them right in front of the person he & the bird(s) are "gossiping" about. However the crows he DOES understand & gossip with.

When he can fly, he's an expert at dive-bombing targets like a bird of prey. It's TERRIFYING. And very attractive depending on who you are (*cough* Missa *cough*)

Lullah once tried to test if throwing a blanket over his head would make him fall asleep like how if you put a blanket over a bird's cage they'll think it's night time and go to bed. It didn't work. He was very confused.

Birds whenever they're happy to see you will stretch their wings out like "Hello yes!" Phil do happy wing stretches when he see the kids :D

His hearing and eyesight are fucking amazing. The only reason he's able to be snuck up on is bc he hyperfocuses on things or the things that sneak up on him are super fast.

Rare Isa Fluffy Headcanon: He make blanket nests.

When stressed or overwhelmed, he'll wrap his wings around himself or raise them to shield his head. He doesn't do this so much after his wings were clipped & injured. They hurt too much.

100% will spread his wings all the way out (when they aren't hurting a lot) to look more threatening towards enemies. They almost autopilot do it when he's angry, but if they hurt too much they'll stop. He's pissed they don't look as threatening after The Federation clipped his wings

[xiaoscarasimp]

Cat Boi: H Patch

Minors DNI/SMUT

CW: AFAB! Reader, Cat boi, Scaramouche is his own warning, you call Scara good boy like twice and basically aphrodisiacs

What do we get when someone loves Scara cat boi and has hormones that are out of control because reasons? Good old fashion 2.6k words of smutterino. First time writing smut *hides*

This takes place prob between cat boi 1 and 3 ish (not canon canon but H Patch ^^)

One day, you decided to play a bit of a joke on your cat boy, Scaramouche, by bringing home some catnip. You had read that it has some calming properties for actual cats, so why not try it on your rowdy cat boy? At the pet store, you decided on getting both the dried and the live grass to see which would work better, although you had higher bets on the live. 

You arrive at your house with the cat nip and Scaramouche greets you at the door. Sometimes you swear he's more of a dog boy than cat boy. The cat boy sniffs the bag, and has a puzzled look on his face.

"What is that weird smell?" His nose wrinkles in disgust. "Did you get me some shitty medicine again?" 

"No, no," you laugh. "This is catnip. Apparently, it calms cats down and makes them enter a state similar to when a person gets high, so I was wondering if it'd work on you." 

"Sooo, you're attempting to drug me?" His tail flicked angrily, his eyes had a look of betrayal in them. How dare his precious human attempt to drug him?! 

You shake your head. "I got these in case you wanted to try them. I'm not gonna slip this stuff into the food you know." You ruffle his hair in between the cat ears. 

As you put down the bags from your shopping trip, Scaramouche peaks into the bag with the living catnip in it, and takes another whiff of it, nose still wrinkled in semi disgust, but even though it smells weird, the cat boy almost can't stop sniffing it. It feels like his brain is going to mush; he couldn't stop purring and giggling like a school girl.

"Scara, are you ok in there?" You call from the kitchen as you were prepping tonight's dinner.  "I hear you laughing, and one thing I know about you is when you're laughing, it's never a good sign." 

Scaramouche slinks into the kitchen, face red with blush and eyes glazed over. "Hey, y/n, has anyone ever told you that you hot when you cook?" He slurs out. "Or that you smell really nice? Almost like Citrus. Lemon of course." 

"Well, yeah. I cook fish a lot so I gotta get that smell out somehow. Are you ok?" You start pan frying the steak in seasoned butter and start boiling the water for the rice. Tonight's menu was steak with rice and green beans: simple, easy and effective. 

The cat boy starts giggling again, stumbling through the kitchen to try and hug you while you're cooking. Once he did hug you, you notice that he is radiating body heat like someone who has a fever. 

"Scara, look at me. Are you sure you're ok?" He stares at you, eyes dilated, blush on his face, and tail and ears twitching. His tail starts to make its way to your wrist but you pull away before the cat boy can wrap his tail around your wrist. You make the mistake of looking down and notice a slight bulge in his pants, causing both of you to blush even harder. "So, uh, this is awkward. Did the catnip make you, uh, like…this?" You stammer out, not sure of what to make of the situation. 

"I'm not sure, but all I know right now is that down there hurts and it's tight." Scaramouche shifts his legs, almost trying to help soothe his acting nether regions. 

What would even be the morality of helping your cat boy with the sudden arousal? You got yourself (and him) into this mess, so what's the safest, most ethical way out? The cat boy was easy enough on the eyes, soft dark purple hair which was currently sticking to his forehead, purple eyes that reflected galaxies, and the twitching cat ears which were pressed against his head in embarrassment. 

"Scaramouche Balladeer the Sixth: I want you to be honest with me. Can you willingly consent to possible sexual acts? Will you be ok with me helping you with your problem?" You have a serious look on your face, trying to make sure that you were not taking advantage of him. Using his full name managed to snap him out of his daze for a few moments.

"I don't care what you do, just help me with my damn problem." He snaps back. "You can fuck my brains out for all I care. Just be careful of the tail, it's sensitive."

You chuckle. "Let's eat and clean up first. No, I'm not the meal." You hear a tongue click at that notion.

As you guys eat, you start questioning the cat boy about what he knows, although you can tell his mind is elsewhere, legs rubbing together for any type of relief. Eventually, he says that he wants to try and let his instincts and you guide him through the relief process.

After dinner, while you were cleaning up, you noticed Scaramouche had gone back over to the catnip plant, deeply inhaling its scent; apparently the smell was super addictive. The blush on his face somehow increased further and his tail swished back and forth impatiently. Needless to say, Scaramouche was eager for relief. 

"Scara," you call out. "I'm heading upstairs." As if he was under a spell, he followed you in a daze, sniffing the air. His ears and tail flicked nervously in anticipation. 

Once you two got to the bed room, Scaramouche tackled you onto the bed, rubbing his head on your chest, inhaling your scent. Somehow, it was more addictive than the scent of catnip. The cat boy, lost in his instincts, started rutting against your leg, eager for relief for the warmth in his lower abdomen. 

"Scara, let's get these clothes off, shall we?" You chuckle and Scaramouche looks up at you, eyes demanding why did you stop his release. You start by slipping his black shirt over his head and planting a chaste kiss on his lips. Scaramouche attempts to stick his tongue out at you, but you grab it with your own Tongue, battling for dominance in his mouth. As fate would have it though, you nicked your tongue against his sharp teeth and you pulled back from your assault, both of you panting from the battle. 

“Ha, for someone who has ‘experience’ you sure did fuck up,” the cat boy teased. 

“Hey, it’s not my fault you have sharp teeth,” you scowled. “Now, if you want to try that again be my– mmmfph.” You were cut off by a passionate kiss, this time though, the battle was in your mouth. Tongues swirling around in your mouth had you moaning and heat pooling at your core. Scaramouche was no better, moaning your name in your mouth. 

You cup his face with one hand and roll his nipple between your fingers with the other, causing him to moan even louder. Scaramouche started grinding against your leg again, this time faster, chasing his own pleasure. His tail wrapped itself around the arm that was cupping his face while his hands went to your waist. When you felt like he was getting close to his relief, you push him off. 

“Hey! I was almost there,” The cat boy hisses. 

“I know, but first we have got to get these shorts off you. Maybe you can help me undress as well?” You wink at him. At the mention of undressing you, he immediately starts by lifting your shirt, revealing a black, lacey, pushup bra that makes your chest look even more divine than it usually does. Scaramouche blushes at seeing you nearly topless like this. Sure, he has seen you topless after getting out of the shower or getting dressed in the morning, but this was the first time he’s seen you topless as a woman, and not purely as his master.

“You like what you see?” Your sultry voice made him blush and his dilate even further. The indigo haired cat boy quickly looked away, nose almost bleeding from sheer stimulation. “I’m going to take your shorts off now,” you tell him, and kiss his forehead and Scaramouche nods in agreement, eager to strip everything off to be even closer to you.

As you slide his shorts and underwear over his knees, you can’t help but to notice how hard he actually was, tip flaming red and dripping precum. Even his pants slipping past his cock was enough to make him whimper and almost cum on the spot.  

"Oh, look at you," you croon as you massage the tip between your fingers. You push him back onto the bed, trapping him underneath you. "My fierce, sassy cat boy reduced down to a mewling kit. Tell me: how badly do you want me?" 

It was at this point Scaramouche decided to take his chance and wrap his tail around your hips and pull down your bra to suck on your nipple.

 "Ah-ah-ah," you tut, smacking his hands away from your chest. "Only good cat boys get to play with my breast. Have you been a good boy?" His ear flatten against his head, equal parts shame at becoming noticeably aroused when you called him a good boy and equal parts excitement. 

"I don't care about that shit. Just help me relieve this throbbing pain." He attempts to command you, but it just comes out as a whimper. 

You cock an eyebrow at him and he immediately knew he messed up. Scaramouche, the proud arrogant cat boy with a sword for a tongue, started one thing you never expected him to do: beg 

"I'm sorry y/n. I'll be a good boy. Please relieve this pain. Please-please-please. I need you," He starts babbling, words and prayers spilling over his lips. Poor cat boy was already pussy drunk and he hadn't so much as touched it directly. 

You strip your pants and underwear off and that almost sends Scaramouche over the edge. Unhooking your bra, you allow him to squeeze your breasts gently, causing you to moan a bit louder. As you straddle him again, you lean down and gently nibble his sensitive, furry ears, sending jolts up the cat boy's spine. The wet sounds in his ears were just so exquisite, gasping and moaning even louder. 

"Scaramouche Balladeer the Sixth," you whisper in his ear. "Are you sure you want to have sex with me? We can stop now if you want." The catnip had to be wearing off soon, but Scaramouche was still very much in the mood. He nods, almost unable to get the words out. "Scara, I'm going to need you to use your words, otherwise I will not continue."

"Y-yes master," Scaramouche whines. "Pl-please do something about my leaking cock." 

You lift yourself up slightly and align his weeping cock with your needy hole and lower yourself down gently. Upon entering your folds, the cat boy almost cums on the spot; the stimulation was too much. Scaramouche moans and bites your neck to try and quiet himself, but you lift his face up and crash your lips into his and suck on his bottom lip.

"I'm going to move now," you say into his mouth, to which Scaramouche nods vigorously. As you start grinding on his dick, you feel it throb inside of you, pulsating with anticipation. Your walls tighten and loosen around Scaramouche's cock as you kiss him, throwing both of you into a passionate fury. 

"I-I'm close," you moan. "S-scara it's ok to c-cum inside." You can barely speak through the intense pleasure. As you babble on, you can feel his dick twitch before finally exploding inside you. His tail wraps even tighter around you when the release happens. It wasn't long after you crest the peak of your own orgasm, leaving you both sweaty and panting. Scaramouche's ears were twitching happily, face relaxed like you've never seen it before, and generally at peace with himself. 

"Was that fun?" You ask, still on top of him, dick still inside of you. He sluggishly nods, smiling like he's in a dream. You ruffle his ears and hair and unwrap his tail from around you. As you get off him, the cat boy tries to give you a hug to pull you back down, but Scaramouche's energy was spent, so his hug had no pull. 

You quickly locate the tissues and hand them off to Scaramouche and tell him if he needs help cleaning up to let you know if he wants to take the lazy route, otherwise a shower is the best option.  The cat boy rushes to the shower, cum dripping down his leg. As you clean yourself up, you debate joining him in the shower to wash up before bed. Scaramouche pokes his head out of the bathroom, demanding that you help clean him in the shower.

For some reason, you two can never agree on water temperature. You prefer it to be scolding hot whereas he prefers it to be warm but not hot, which feels cold to your skin. Eventually, you settle on a decent shower temperature, and you start washing his hair.

"Mind the ears," He grumps. Scaramouche is back to his old uptight self again. "Also, don't be so rough; I'm delicate you know."

"Yes, yes, my big strong cat boy and his delicate ears," you muse. "OK, body wash time." You start putting the soap on the wash cloth and as you start scrubbing him down, he yowls.

"Gentle, I said. Gentle!! What part of that don't you understand?!" He was so cute when he scowled, but you weren't going to let him know that. 

"Exfoliation Scara. It's good for the skin. Also, did not think I was that rough." The cat boy glared at you in response. "Good news is, you're clean now." You rinse off the suds and Scaramouche shook his head, almost like a dog, to get the water out of his hair. "H-hey now!" 

The cat boy stuck his tongue out at you and nimbly hopped out of the shower. "Now you can have your hot as hell water to fuck up your skin with." 

Even though Scaramouche was clean, he still hung out in the bathroom, watching you shower with an intense gaze. His ears twitched excitedly. The way the soap slid off your breasts, the way your hands went through your hair when you washed it was all so alluring. He considered himself lucky to have had the experience he did tonight, even if it was fueled by catnip.

After you were done scrubbing yourself, you put on your pajamas. Scaramouche was laying in the bed and had already put on his signature black sleeping shorts and an oversized t-shirt with a cat on it, which you got purely for the irony. 

You head over to the bed and get in under the covers and could just feel Scaramouche's body heat radiating through the blankets. 

"So, amuse me,"you cock your head in wonder. "Does catnip affect every cat boy like an aphrodisiac or only some? Also, I didn't take advantage of you did I?"

"So, it does have aphrodisiac-like properties on certain cat boys or girls but I was still very much in control. I was not expecting to be hit that hard by it, but I've been wanting to experience you for a long, long time. So, it's  win-win. You got to play a small 'joke' on me and I got to experience your body. Now tell me," He smirks.  "When can we do stuff like that again? And next time: I want to be in control." Scaramouche kisses you before turning away. 

"Ok fine, but remember: I'm the master in all other areas in life." You whisper in his ear, causing it to flick from the simple stimulation of your breath. You pull him in close to cuddle him like a stuffed animal and as much as he tries to say he hates being little spoon-he really does enjoy it.  

The two you drift off to sleep, dreams of each other's bodies racing through your mind, wanting to experience the whole act again.

[memeapple2]

Ordinary sausage starters

"The best way to start is with a dirty pan."

-calmly takes a peice of cake- "I'm actually saving this peice for later." "YEAAAAAA!" -fuckin aggressively puts both hands into cake, without any fear of god-

"Hey everybody it's Mr. Potato sausage!"

"Shouldn't it be Mr. Sausage head?"

"Mr. potato sausage. 🎵 BADADADA TEQUILA!!!🎵"

"Oh you British bastards."

"This is your sausage. You can do what you want with it, but sometimes you don't need to dress them up. All you just gotta do is suck them up!" -Horrible vienna sausage sucking sounds-

"It doesn't smell yet! It doesn't smell yet."

"They love me. They just don't wanna say it on camera."

"It doesn't smell expired. But it does taste expired however!"

"Now the first thing you need for sangria is fruit that's about to go bad! Everybody loves sangria. Especially if you're a woman in her forties!"

"I was up all night thinking about this. Can you shoot mashed potatoes out of a super soaker!?"

"Listen buddy I'm not looking for any trouble." -Shoots at you with a horrible super soaker filled with fucking mashed potatoes-

"HERE WE GO! NOW WE GOT A MEAT SPIN!!"

"It might not all be bad news. Ah, it's all bad news."

"Sausage skull! Sausage skull! Sausage skull!"

"IT TASTES LIKE A NORMAL HARD BOILED EGG!"

"I better think of something good or else I'm back to boiling things in pickel juice."

"HERE IT IS! IT LOOKS STUPID!"

"It's not bad. But it also tastes like a rolled up tortilla."

"But what does the hot diet coke pasta water taste like? That's what I think everyone wants to know."

"Ahhh, the finer things! It may look like you have blood in your urine, but it tastes like hot chocolate!"

"There was probably a better way to do this besides hitting it with a wrench."

"OH MY GOOOOOOOD!!!"

"Are you naked under that sausage costume? Yes!"

"Of course I'm not a scientist. I'm a sausagetist."

"🎵 Feeeed me hash browns! Feeeed me all night loooooong.~🎵"

"I DID CHANGE THE BOX AND WE'RE ALL BETTER FOR IT! ARE YA HAPPY!?"

" 'Waaaaa they cracked the noodles so they're more easy and convenient to cook with. Waaaaaa!' That what YOU SOUND LIKE!"

"Ya know if you like black licorice there's something wrong with you!"

" 'It's the wrong kinda baked beans innit!?' AS IF THAT WAS THE THING THAT WAS HOLDING BACK!!"

"But you forgot the salt and pepper. No I didn't! This sausage is authentically bland! It's called a crisp innit!?"

"One cup of rice, two cups of water with half of it going on the side, AND A HALF A BAG OF SKITTLES!"

"This rice tastes like skittles."

"I'm no longer on board with this spaghetti."

"That looks like it won't kill me."

"Safe to eat raw? Me too, cookie dough!"

"And I told her, ONE MORE PEEP OUTTA YOU AND YOU'RE GOING BACK IN THE HOME!"

"Who do you think is right? Me the guy who's been making sausages for years. Or my mom, the person who calls tiktok clockclock!"

"That's the sausage water.."

"That's what I call an issue I'll have to deal with later!"

"Checking in on the stain. Looks like it's soaking in the table cloth pretty good!"

🎵"A total egg-llipse of the heaaart.~"🎵

"THE WHOLE THINGS UPSETTING I'M GONNA LIE DOW!!!"