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shawnjacksonsbs · 2 years

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Needing to heal, and needing help aren’t the same thing 10-8-22

“...healing isn’t just the part that looks like healing. You don’t just get fixed in a weekend. You have to keep making the choice to fix yourself. Every time you choose to be nice to yourself instead of being unkind. Every time you decide to experience life fully in all its shades of joy and sorrow. Every time you participate in the boring drudgery of self-care. The whole thing was the healing—everything that came before and everything that’s happened after.” - Sam Lansky

I've written pieces in the past along the lines that, I do truly believe that most people are trying to be good and faring well, at being upstanding, but no matter anyone status or station, whether delusional or not, whether "succeeding" at life or not, most people care.

Most of the people you meet aren't evil, or malicious.

Some are misunderstood for sure, and although not everyone is good all the time, no one is bad all the time either.

Most of us on this planet have good hearts. The ones who look and act like they don't were on the failing end, or ends, of some pretty important life lessons.

This goes hand in hand with, “There are no, inherently bad children."

Constructivity. That's a word, right?

I mean, it's how we use what we know, and why we use it.

I know a young man, very dear to my heart that is not currently. . ..”winning”.

I played a hand in stacking the deck, not in his favor. That's a tough pill to swallow. Believe me. It's the one thing I'd trade my gains for. Feeling like times running out, and what do you do?

Suck it up and feel every bit of it.

It's not too late for him to turn it all around. Not unlike some of us coming out of the life did, but different for him and the same for freedom’s sake that surrender is needed.

Pride is a killer. Makes the strongest of us weak. Trust me.

Anyways, once we reach that age. The age that puts us just out of reach of innocence, then more depends on us - the "adult".

With children it's different. obvously.

This is more why it try so hard with my grandkids. It's not like making up for fucking up my kids. Granted they definitely could have had it better, but it's not that.

It's more making sure that they have the extra love and support to succeed at everything life has to offer.

I would seriously lay down what my life has gained too, but few and far between seeing those I love, especially those I feel I failed, make it . . .over here to this side. That goes double if they don't have to go through what I went through to get here. 💯

. . . .(in thought) . .

-I'll be back later. Tomorrow, or Saturday to finish.-

I struggle. Not the same struggles that I used to have, but struggles nonetheless. Work, bills, etc etc.

But I'm made to handle my shit now. I've conditioned myself to handle it. I'd like to say I handle it all as it comes, but humility plays a part there, and if I'm being honest, sometimes I don't look good, or at right during my struggles but I always get through. And hands down I recognize them little fails quicker than ever before.

I don't much think I'm gonna actually get whooped any time soon, but . . .but to say I'd give it all up. . .is an understatement.

I reason with my sanity all the time about religion. Man, how I wished I could get behind it. Almost to the point of being envious. What most of them think is waiting on the other side . . .(for another entry).

It's a good thing I don't believe in the devil, because I'm sure I'd trade my soul. I've thought about it before.

I don't if it's a good thing, or a bad thing, but I know I'll never be offered that crossroads.

I think I lost my way with where I intended this entry to go, but that's what they're there for. Right? To let you read, about me trying to make sense of . . .my whole life really.

There's no words feeling in the world greater than that of helplessness when options are running thin.

Helplessness.

Helpless.

Help less.

I just keep thinking to myself, "tough love almost killed me".

If it had killed me, do you believe that there are other people alive that would have felt the sting of responsibility, that was surely mine too.

Lost.

Still no magic words, or secret code either. So, I'm here, stuck like so many before me.

Still trying to be an example, hopefully not creating any resentment as I've been called a hypocrite before. Lol no lol

You're not watching what you can't stand to look at.

Anyways.

On a brighter note, got a family wedding to go to today, and reconnected with an old friend this morning. Been 15 years or so. He’s doing well. He cuts hair now too, which is going to be my new go to.

Feel goods in the morning to start the day.

And It’s gonna be a good day.

If you aren’t already following with Pawpaw’s story times, I post them on Sundays. Check ‘em some time.

And, as usual, keep sharing your love, your laughter, and your beautiful smile with the world around you. Also, be kind as always as you can. Where kindness won’t suffice. . . .at least be civil.

Until next week;

“When people are broken on the outside, society is taught to never be rude to them. When people are broken on the inside, society is taught to rub happiness in their faces and show them how perfect life should be. When someone has half of an arm, you are not supposed to go up to them and show them how great of an arm wrestler you are. But when someone has a broken mind or a broken soul, you're taught to go up to them and tell them to look for joy in everything. Society has a very long way to go in terms of what it means to heal this world's broken people.” - C. JoyBell C.

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duckprintspress · 3 years

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Ten Things We Hate About Trad Pub

Often when I say “I’ve started a small press; we publish the works of those who have trouble breaking into traditional publishing!” what people seem to hear is “me and a bunch of sad saps couldn’t sell our books in the Real World so we’ve made our own place with lower standards.” For those with minimal understanding of traditional publishing (trad pub), this reaction is perhaps understandable? But, truly, there are many things to hate about traditional publishing (and, don’t get me wrong - there are things to love about trad pub, too, but that’s not what this list is about) and it’s entirely reasonable for even highly accomplished authors to have no interest in running the gauntlet of genre restrictions, editorial control, hazing, long waits, and more, that make trad pub at best, um, challenging, and at worst, utterly inaccessible to many authors - even excellent ones.

Written in collaboration with @jhoomwrites, with input from @ramblingandpie, here is a list of ten things that we at Duck Prints Press detest about trad pub, why we hate it, and why/how we think things should be different!

(Needless to say, part of why we created Duck Prints Press was to...not do any of these things... so if you’re a writer looking for a publishing home, and you hate these things, too, and want to write with a Press that doesn’t do them...maybe come say hi?)

1. Work lengths dictated by genre and/or author experience.

Romance novels can’t be longer than 90,000 words or they won’t sell! New authors shouldn’t try to market a novel longer than 100,000 words!

A good story is a good story is a good story. Longer genre works give authors the chance to explore their themes and develop their plots. How often an author has been published shouldn’t put a cap on the length of their work.

2. Editors assert control of story events...except when they don’t.

If you don’t change this plot point, the book won’t market well. Oh, you’re a ten-time bestseller? Write whatever you want, even if it doesn’t make sense we know people will buy it.

Sometimes, a beta or an editor will point out that an aspect of a story doesn’t work - because it’s nonsensical, illogical, Deus ex Machina, etc. - and in those cases it’s of course reasonable for an editor to say, “This doesn’t work and we recommend changing it, for these reasons…” However, when that list of reasons begins and ends with, “...because it won’t sell…” that’s a problem, especially because this is so often applied as a double standard. We’ve all read bestsellers with major plot issues, but those authors get a “bye” because editors don’t want to exert to heavy a hand and risk a proven seller, but with a new, less experienced, or worse-selling author, the gloves come off (even though evidence suggests time and again that publishers’ ability to predict what will sell well is at best low and at worst nonexistent.)

3. A billion rejection letters as a required rite of passage (especially when the letters aren't helpful in pinpointing why a work has been rejected or how the author can improve).

Well, my first book was rejected by a hundred Presses before it was accepted! How many rejection letters did you get before you got a bite? What, only one or two? Oh…

How often one succeeds or fails to get published shouldn’t be treated as a form of hazing, and we all know that how often someone gets rejected or accepted has essentially no bearing on how good a writer they are. Plenty of schlock goes out into the world after being accepted on the first or second try...and so does plenty of good stuff! Likewise, plenty of schlock will get rejected 100 times but due to persistence, luck, circumstances, whatever, finally find a home, and plenty of good stuff will also get rejected 100 times before being publishing. Rejections (or lack there of) as a point of pride or as a means of judging others needs to die as a rite of passage among authors.

4. Query letters, for so many reasons.

Summarize all your hard work in a single page! Tell us who you’re like as an author and what books your story is like, so we can gauge how well it’ll sell based on two sentences about it! Format it exactly the way we say or we won’t even consider you!

For publishers, agents, and editors who have slush piles as tall as Mount Everest...we get it. There has to be a way to differentiate. We don’t blame you. Every creative writing class, NaNoWriMo pep talk, and college lit department combine to send out hundreds of thousands of people who think all they need to do to become the next Ernest Hemingway is string a sentence together. There has to be some way to sort through that pile...but God, can’t there be a better way than query letters? Especially since even with query letters being used it often takes months or years to hear back, and...

5. "Simultaneous submissions prohibited.”

No, we don’t know when we’ll get to your query, but we’ll throw it out instantly if you have the audacity to shop around while you wait for us.

The combination of “no simultaneous submissions” with the query letter bottleneck makes success slow and arduous. It disadvantages everyone who aims to write full-time but doesn’t have another income source (their own, or a parents’, or a spouse’s, or, or or). The result is that entire classes of people are edged out of publishing solely because the process, especially for writers early in their career, moves so glacially that people have to earn a living while they wait, and it’s so hard to, for example, work two jobs and raise a family and also somehow find the time to write. Especially considering that the standard advice for dealing with “no simultaneous submissions” is “just write something else while you wait!” ...the whole system screams privilege.

6. Genres are boxes that must be fit into and adhered to.

Your protagonist is 18? Then obviously your book is Young Adult. It doesn’t matter how smutty your book is, erotica books must have sex within the first three chapters, ideally in the first chapter. Sorry, we’re a fantasy publisher, if you have a technological element you don’t belong here…

While some genre boxes have been becoming more like mesh cages of late, with some flow of content allowed in and out, many remain stiff prisons that constrict the kinds of stories people can tell. Even basic cross-genre works often struggle to find a place, and there’s no reason for it beyond “if we can’t pigeon-hole a story, it’s harder to sell.” This edges out many innovative, creative works. It also disadvantages people who aren’t as familiar with genre rules. And don’t get me wrong - this isn’t an argument that, for example, the romance genre would be improved by opening up to stories that don’t have “happily ever afters.” Instead, it’s pointing out - there should also be a home for, say, a space opera with a side romance, an erotica scene, and a happily-for-now ending. Occasionally, works breakthrough, but for the most part stories that don’t conform never see the light of day (or, they do, but only after Point 2 - trad pub editors insist that the elements most “outside” the box be removed or revised).

7. The lines between romance and erotica are arbitrary, random, and hetero- and cis-normative.

This modern romance novel won’t sell if it doesn’t have an explicit sex scene, but God forbid you call a penis a penis. Oh, no, this is far too explicit, even though the book only has one mlm sex scene, this is erotica.

The difference between “romance” and “erotica” might not matter so much if not for the stigmas attached to erotica and the huge difference in marketability and audience. The difference between “romance” and “erotica” also might not matter so much if not for the fact that, so often, even incredibly raunchy stories that feature cis straight male/cis straight female sex scenes are shelved as romance, but the moment the sex is between people of the same gender, and/or a trans or genderqueer person is involved, and/or the relationship is polyamorous, and/or the characters involved are literally anything other than a cis straight male pleasuring a cis straight female in a “standard” way (cunnilingus welcome, pegging need not apply)...then the story is erotica. Two identical stories will get assigned different genres based on who the people having sex are, and also based on the “skill” of the author to use ludicrous euphemisms (instead of just...calling body parts what they’re called…), and it’s insane. Non-con can be a “romance” novel, even if it’s graphically described. “50 Shades of Gray” can sell millions of copies, even containing BDSM. But the word “vagina” gets used once...bam, erotica. (Seriously, the only standard that should matter is the Envelope Analogy).

8. Authors are expected to do a lot of their own legwork (eg advertising) but then don't reap the benefits.

Okay, so, you’re going to get an advance of $2,500 on this, your first novel, and a royalty rate of 5% if and only if your advance sells out...so you’d better get out there and market! Wait, what do you mean you don’t have a following? Guess you’re never selling out your advance…

Trad pub can generally be relied on to do some marketing - so this item is perhaps better seen as an indictment of more mid-sized Presses - but, basically, if an author has to do the majority of the work themselves, then why aren’t they getting paid more? What’s the actual benefit to going the large press/trad pub route if it’s not going to get the book into more hands? It’s especially strange that this continues to be a major issue when self-publishing (which also requires doing one’s own marketing) garners 60%+ royalty rates. Yes, the author doesn’t get an advance, and they don’t get the cache of ~well I was published by…~, but considering some Presses require parts of advances to get paid back if the initial run doesn’t sell out, and cache doesn’t put food on the table...pay models have really, really got to change.

9. Fanfiction writing doesn't count as writing experience

Hey there Basic White Dude, we see you’ve graduated summa cum laude from A Big Fancy Expensive School. Of course we’ll set you up to publish your first novel you haven’t actually quite finished writing yet. Oh, Fanperson, you’ve written 15 novels for your favorite fandom in the last 4 years? Get to the back of the line!

Do I really need to explain this? The only way to get better at writing is to write. Placing fanfiction on official trad pub “do not interact” lists is idiotic, especially considering many of the other items on this list. (They know how to engage readers! They have existing followings! They understand genre and tropes!) Being a fanfiction writer should absolutely be a marketable “I am a writer” skill. Nuff said. (To be clear, I’m not saying publishers should publish fanfiction, I’m saying that being a fanfiction writer is relevant and important experience that should be given weight when considering an author’s qualifications, similar to, say, publishing in a university’s quarterly.)

10. Tagging conventions (read: lack thereof).

Oh, did I trigger you? Hahahaha. Good luck with that.

We rate movies so that people can avoid content they don’t like. Same with TV shows and video games. Increasingly, those ratings aren’t just “R - adult audiences,” either; they contain information about the nature of the story elements that have led to the rating (“blood and gore,” “alcohol reference,” “cartoon violence,” “drug reference,” “sexual violence,” “use of tobacco,” and many, many more). So why is it that I can read a book and, without warning, be surprised by incest, rape, graphic violence, explicit language, glorification of drug and alcohol use, and so so much more? That it’s left to readers to look up spoilers to ensure that they’re not exposed to content that could be upsetting or inappropriate for their children or, or, or, is insane. So often, too, authors cling to “but we don’t want to give away our story,” as if video game makes and other media makers do want to give away their stories. This shouldn’t be about author egos or ~originality~ (as if that’s even a thing)...it should be about helping readers make informed purchasing decisions. It’s way, way past time that major market books include content warnings.

Thank you for joining us, this has been our extended rant about how frustrated we are with traditional publishing. Helpful? No. Cathartic? Most definitely yes. 🤣

Have a question about writing? Drop us an ask!

Like what we do and want to support us? You can buy us a ko-fi - or get access to exclusive content by backing us on Patreon!

#duck prints press #original content #writing advice #sort of

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scriptmedic · 3 years

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Mangled Mondays: Dislocated Shoulder

Dislocated Shoulder

Excerpted from Blood on the Page: A Writer's Compendium of Injuries, Section 1.4: Blunt Trauma > Appendages

Lethality Index

1/5

What Is It?

The human shoulder is a ball-and-socket joint between the glenoid (socket) and the head of the humerus (ball). Stabilized by muscles, tendons, and ligaments, the joint is fairly complicated. The scapula(shoulder blade) protects it at the rear; the acromion process at the top; and, in part, the clavicle (collarbone) at the front.

But the joint does have a weakness. A strong impact to the extended arm can essentially pop the ball out of the socket, known as a dislocation. (A partial dislocation is known as a subluxation.)

The most common – and least damaging – form of this injury is an anterior dislocation, when the head of the humerus pops forward out of the socket. As we’ll see, this is hardly benign and can involve fractures of the bones involved, but it’s certainly not as damaging as a posterior or inferior dislocation.

Therefore, it’s the anterior dislocation we’ll discuss here.

Clinical Signs:

· Deformity of the upper shoulder.

· Difficulty and pain trying to move the affected arm.

· Humeral head bulging under the skin.

Symptoms:

· Pain.

· Numbness and tingling in the arm, from the bone pressing against a nerve.

How Does It Happen?

There are a number of ways in which a shoulder can become dislocated, but the most common are when the character falls on outstretched arms or when the character suffers a blow to the shoulder with the arm extended.

These often occur in contact sports such as MMA (mixed martial arts) fighting, soccer, rugby, American football, or high-velocity sports such as motocross, cycling, and skiing.

Immediate Treatment

The primary treatment for a character with a dislocated shoulder is to sling and swathe the arm so that it’s tucked against the body, with the wrist across the chest and toward the opposite armpit. This can be done with a scarf, a large triangle bandage (“cravat”), a professional sling, or anything that can be improvised in the field.

Characters should receive the attention of a medical provider, but characters who have undergone reduction (relocation) of a dislocated shoulder will be familiar with the procedure. (Actually, there are a great many ways of reducing a shoulder; a few of the most popular are covered here.)

Definitive Treatment

Surgery / Hospitalization

Characters who have a shoulder reduced won’t require surgery or admission unless imaging determines a fracture; or if reduction in the ER is not possible due to (a) overmuscular upper body and/or (b) delayed presentation to ER, resulting in tight tendons and muscles impairing the physician’s efforts.

Emergency Department: Imaging

Characters with shoulder dislocations will have X-rays taken to ensure that there are no fractures of the glenoid or the humeral head. It’s possible, but unlikely, for these to happen in the process of the dislocation

Emergency Department: Sedation and Analgesia

There are two goals of sedation and analgesia in the ER.

The first goal is reduction of pain before, during, and after the procedure. Most of the pain of the dislocation will be eliminated when the shoulder is reduced, but not all of it.

The second is to reduce spasm of the muscles of the shoulder, which are fairly strong and can get in the way of reduction or make the procedure more difficult.

The simplest, and perhaps the most effective, way in which emergency providers can control pain is with a simple injection of lidocaine into the joint, which will numb the area, reduce pain, and cause the desired relaxation.

However, some providers will give a small dose of morphine and/or a small dose of a sedative like midazolam (Versed).

A low-dose infusion of ketamine can also be used, since it acts as both a sedative and an analgesic and is therefore an excellent single agent. This requires using an IV, whereas other methods are injected into the joint or can be used with oral medication.

However, a great many shoulders can be reduced without any pain medication at all, especially if the muscles haven’t had time to “freeze up” yet.

Emergency Department: Reduction

There are literally dozens of methods of reducing a dislocated shoulder, almost all of which are effective and well tolerated. (These do not include smashing the shoulder into any available wall; I’m looking at you, Lethal Weapon 2.) We’ll take a look at a few of them below, including what characters can do for themselves.

Kocher’s Method

The Kocher’s method of reducing the shoulder is a simple and straightforward one. It involves the provider helping the injured character tuck their elbow against their side with the elbow flexed and the forearm thus parallel to the floor.

The provider will then take the character’s affected wrist and move it laterally (away from the body) until there’s resistance. They’ll pull the elbow and upper arm forward a little bit, and then pull the wrist back across the body toward the opposite side.

The procedure takes less than a minute, and has a good success rate.

Cunningham Technique

This is perhaps the gentlest reduction technique around. The character is instructed to sit up comfortably, with their back fairly straight, and pull their shoulder blades together. The character will tuck the affected elbow against their body while the provider rests the character’s hand on their own elbow and supports the character’s elbow with their hand. The provider will then massage the trapezius, deltoid, and biceps with their free hand. As their thumb moves to the outside of the humeral head and toward the deltoid, they’ll gently nudge the humeral head back into the socket. This technique relies on relaxing the muscles rather than using any kind of force.

The Davos Technique

To perform this reduction technique, the character sits upright and flexes the hip and knee on the side of the dislocation. The character then clasps the fingers of both hands together around their flexed knee, or the provider will tie their wrists together with cravats or an elastic band.

(Can you say dramatic tension? Imagine the physician steps out of the room for a minute, and the villain walks in with the hero’s hands tied and their shoulder still out of place…)

Next, the provider sits on the patient’s foot to hold it stationary. The character is then told to relax their shoulder and arm muscles, let their head fall back, and let their shoulders roll forward with the arms extended. The humeral head should reduce.

In the Austere Environment

Because of its nature, a shoulder dislocation is quite easy to reduce in the field. There are risks and consequences if any of the relevant bones are broken, but the vast majority of shoulder dislocations don’t involve fractures.

Any of the above procedures should work quite well, but without strong analgesics, reducing the shoulder will take longer. The main thing getting in the way of reduction is muscle tension, so reductions should be fairly slow to prevent tightening.

Self-relocation

Sometimes a character will be on their own and won’t have the benefit of an assistant. In this case, they’ll need to help themselves.

The best bet is for the character to find some way of applying weight to their arm. The simplest way is for them to sit facing a doorknob and to grab it with their affected hand. (If they can tie their wrist to it that’s even better, since tension in the hand is part of the problem.) They’ll then lean back and support some of their weight with their arm. This may take several minutes, and isn’t always successful.

Another technique is for the character to reach up and behind the head, then reach for the opposite (“good”) shoulder. This should, theoretically, relocate the shoulder.

Neither of these techniques is foolproof or entirely likely to succeed, and the techniques will likely only be known to those who have dislocated their shoulders before.

However, most other techniques require a second person, and remember that this is fiction: outcomes are determined by what we want to have happen, not what might actually happen, so long as the act is relatively realistic.

The Rocky Road to Recovery

Capabilities Retained

Characters still have some use of their arm during the dislocation, including the hand and wrist, but won’t want to do much except hold their arm in place.

After the dislocation has been reduced, they will still have use of the hand, as well as all other limbs, neurocognitive function, etc.

Disabilities: Temporary

The shoulder that has been dislocated needs time in order to heal. Because of this, the character will need to keep the arm in a sling for at least one to two weeks (but more realistically, four). Failing to do so runs the risk of redislocation.

Disabilities: Permanent

Shoulder dislocations that don’t produce fractures almost never come with any permanent disabilities. However, it’s possible for the character to have damage to the nerves of the arm from either the dislocation or the reduction.

Features of Recovery: Hospital Stay

None.

Features of Recovery: PT/OT

Characters will need to strengthen their shoulder as it heals.

Initial therapy will aim to improve range of motion: raising the arm above the level of the shoulder, and rotating the elbow outward (elbow tucked against the chest, and wrist brought lateral to the body). After range of motion has returned, the goal becomes to strengthen the muscles.

Isometric strengthening:

The character will step up to a wall and almost touch it; they’ll push the thumb side of their wrist against the wall and press for 8–10 seconds. Next they’ll stand perpendicular to the wall and try to abduct their arm, meaning they’ll try to reach their arm out laterally to their body while pressing against the wall, again for 8-10 seconds. Next the character will bend their elbow so their lower arm is parallel to the floor. First they’ll try to externally rotate against the wall or doorway; then they’ll do the same for internal rotation (towards the opposite side of their body).

Weight training.

Characters who progress beyond isometric training will be encouraged to perform similar exercises with weights.

The first exercise will be to hold a weight – a can of soup works well – and will extend their arm laterally to the body and bring their hand toward shoulder height. Next they can lie on their side on the affected arm and hold the can or weight in front of them, and internally rotate the hand (toward the opposite hip).

The New Normal

Characters who completely recover from the injury will likely have no long-term consequences, though if they don’t stabilize their shoulder muscles with PT they may redislocate the arm.

Sometimes there will be some damage to the nerves of the shoulder, which may involve pain, numbness, and/or weakness both in the shoulder and down the arm. Again, physical therapy helps with these.

Future Risks

Your character will be at risk for redislocation of the same arm.

Total Recovery Time (Typical)

Sling: 1–4 weeks

Strength and flexibility:4–8 weeks

Sensory

Sights

The affected shoulder will look “off,” deformed. The humeral head may be visible under the skin, or the anterior aspects of the shoulder may simply look “out of place.”

Smells

None.

Sounds

Characters may hear an audible pop as the shoulder dislocates, and a pop or clunk may be audible as the shoulder relocates.

Sensations

As with sounds, the shoulder pops out and clunks back in. This may be audible only to the character with the dislocation, or may be audible to others too.

Medslang

A subluxation is something of an incomplete dislocation and is managed in the same way.

Abduction is movement away from the body in the same horizontal plane; that is, reaching out directly to the side.

Adduction is the opposite: bringing the body part back along the torso.

Internal rotation is rotation toward (and across) the body.

External rotation is rotation away from the body.

Anterior means forward (toward the front of the body), while posterior means backward or behind.

Reduction can refer to repositioning a dislocated or subluxated joint, or to bringing bone ends back to alignment in a fracture.

Key Points

· Shoulder dislocations are common, dramatic, and have few long-term complications; they are ideal for use in stories.

· Characters with shoulder dislocations might be able to set their own shoulders, but a second person is generally best.

· Setting the dislocation takes only a minute or two, but can be very painful; sudden movements are the enemy, as the goal is to relax the muscles, not tighten them.

· Characters will need a sling for 1-4 weeks (the younger, the longer) and will require PT to strengthen the stabilizer muscles after the fact.

#mangled mondays #masterposts #this post is not medical advice #this post is writing advice #shoulder injuries #dislocations

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fahshionable · 4 years

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Astro Notes pt. 3

For libra the scales are hardly EVER balanced. Achieving a sense of stability within themselves and their relationship with others is incredibly difficult because often times those with libra placements feel like they need to go outside themselves to get what they need when they really need to go within. For example, happiness. A libra will go outside themselves and look for happiness through connection with others which in turn is where the stigma of codependency comes from. However, this dynamic usually fosters people pleasing behaviors which in turn leaves them feeling not only drained but codependent. They are usually unaware of their codependent behaviors and at times will ignore anyone’s attempts to point it out because they don’t want to see this reality. Because libras search for peace and balance outside of themselves, they continuously put themselves in a position to never get it because this is unstable. Relationships fluctuate and come and go so while a sense of balance may be felt within connection it is almost always temporary and the libra is forever reeling from this. Occasionally the scale will tip the opposite way and the libra will move to the other side, choosing to forgo connection as they believe that is how they will maintain their inner peace and harmony (which usually comes about from experiencing failed connections instead of positive ones or more likely the realization that a connection will never keep them happy in the long term anyway). They ultimately go blind to the true positive and necessary course of action (yet again) and do everything other than go within which leads to a whole other series of consequences within itself.

Geminis talk very fast because often they have experiences of no one listening. The underdeveloped ones often feel the need to validate their intelligence through conversation because growing up they never felt like their mind was of much benefit anyway. There is always a sense of inner defiency there even if the Gemini is not aware of it. Most Gemini’s are also quick to fall into the trap of debate especially when it comes to things such as politics etc because they feel the need to prove their knowledge when the offer is handed to them. They will rarely decline.

I find that Leo’s, especially Leo suns often suffer from social anxiety especially in childhood. (This actually correlated to the phenomena that you grow into your sun sign as well). While Leos do like attention they often feel like they are undeserving of it due to insecurities. They will fantasize and get upset about not having it and then will shrivel when the opportunity is given. Of course, this is not always true and everyone is different but is very widely seen that confidence comes with age and many young Leos often look like wounded lions in their younger ages.

Although Capricorn’s don’t typically have luck in regards to home and family, they often have much success in the public and with work especially. I’ve noticed that many Cap suns/risings don’t have a hard time establishing a reliable, well liked presence among others. It is usually easy for them to gain a positive opinion from the public and I would even go as far to say that Capricorn is the earth version of a Pisces in regards to their capability to establish a chameleon like behavior. They are very good at reading the room and adjusting themselves and they excel in networking because they see their image as being very important. They like to succeed.

Pisces/libra placements can make someone codependent

Sun/stellium in the 7th house can also make someone codependent

Undevloped Pisces moons/venus/dominants often lose their power through unhealthy relationships. May enter relationships where they know the other person isn’t good for them but love them so much that they want to “fix” them. Should avoid people who display red flags and instead try to find someone who is actually HEALTHY for them/their equal and can inspire them to become a better person.

This is arguable but I honestly feel like Capricorn moons are just as emotional as Pisces moons they just don’t express it. Often times they get so lost in their emotions especially when they are by themselves and an underveloped Capricorn is almost always on the brink of losing their mind.

Capricorn moons HATE crying in public. They are the type to lie and say they’re not crying.

Those with Virgo midheavens (sag risings) often go through a lot when figuring out what they want to do. It’s very easy for them to feel lost in the world and for them to switch jobs/majors/ideas constantly until they feel like they’ve found something their passionate about. If they’re unsure of what they’re doing they will feel very uneasy.

Sag risings have a touch of wanderlust to them. Much like Pluto in Sagittarius, having this placement kind of gives you a feeling of always wanting to explore, but it somehow always being out of reach. Sag risings never quite feel like they’ve seen enough or have done enough and it can eat them up inside.

Virgo moons always have this consistent nagging feeling that they need to get their life together. Listen. You don’t need to constantly think about your life. I promise you’re fine. Sit down and drink some juice. Let yourself relax and have fun. Contrary to popular belief, letting yourself relax and unwind is productive.

Aries moons usually exercise to release negative energy/emotions

I’ve found that people with a lot of gemini placements also like to workout/do weightlifting a lot as well. Not sure if there’s a correlation but just something I’ve noticed.

You usually attract people that have the same element as your rising sign.

For example, if you are a Gemini rising you will attract and be attracted to other air risings because at first glance they will remind you of yourself.

From what I’ve noticed, Scorpio risings like to focus on the eyes/wear heavy eye makeup when they do their makeup and usually the most prominent/interesting part of their face is their nose. A lot of Scorpio risings have an interesting nose that stands out for some reason.

TW!! Drugs!!

Sags like to do drugs💊

A Pisces favorite drug of choice is usually alcohol

Taurus/Pisces can often feel VERY dumb throughout life. Sometimes it’s harder for them to process things as fast as others and some things just don’t “click” as quickly.

You either hate or love Leo moons.

Gemini dominant people LOVE people that catch their eye. If you can keep their attention and can always be interesting/make them laugh......they will love you forever.

Virgos are so smart I love you guys sm!🥺Everyone always says you guys are know at alls but you’re not you guys REALLY just know everything. I know so many Virgos where their main goal is to absorb information and literally become as knowledgeable/informed on things as they can. You all are the first to correct someone when they’re wrong because you truly always know what you’re talking about and want people to have their facts straight.

Strangely.......many Aquarius suns are attracted to/find themselves in positions within the military.....

If you have a planet in the 10th house it can give more insight in to what type of job you’d want/need

For example: Someone with their moon in the 10th might NEED for their job to emotionally fulfilling.

If you’re unhappy with your day to day routines/overall daily structure in life, look to your 6H to what you should aspire to as this is what the 6H rules.

From what I’ve noticed, cancer Mars men really the need the green light that you like them to really be able to move forward and flirt confidently. (Of course this can be altered with other placements)

Pisces Mars women are usually submissive in bed and they usually attract dominant lovers

For transits, look at whatever house you have that planet in and it will give you more insight into how that transit will be affecting you personally.

For example: 1st house (self, identity) 2nd house (money, possessions) 3rd house (communication) etc

#astrology #astro #astro notes #Aries #Leo #saggitarius #Pisces #Scorpio #cancer #capricorn #Virgo #taurus #gemini #Libra #Aquarius

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bluestarscribbler · 3 years

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Writing Characters With Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD)

Hi everyone! :) How are you doing? 🥰💕 Today I'll be outlining the main do's and don't's of writing characters with SAD, as well the definition and the main symptoms of SAD.

DISCLAIMER: I am not diagnosed with SAD myself; however, all of the following information had been obtained from different posts and sites of people that have first-hand experience with SAD. I will be linking those at the end of today's post, please feel free to check them out.

What I learned from the intense research I did is that nobody has social anxiety the same. Some people feel like they can't breath. Others tend to laugh in awkward moments. Nobody is the same. No character is exactly alike. You can't get it "right," because it's not an exact science. So don't feel too pressured while writing a character with SAD, there's no "one" way to write them. A helpful approach is to think what about how the SAD fits into the story you want to tell because the topic is really as complicated as any other and you can view it from many different angles and go as deep as you want - depending on what this story you're trying to tell calls for. So rather than trying to get an objective view of this complicated topic, focus on the aspects that are relevant to the story.

What is Social Anxiety Disorder?

AKA Social Phobia, SAD describes an intense fear and avoidance of negative public scrutiny, public embarrassment, humiliation or social interaction. This fear can be specified to particular social situations; such as public speaking, or more typically, is experienced in most/all social interactions. Those suffering from SAD will often attempt to avoid the source of their anxiety; this is particularly problematic and in severe cases can lead to complete social isolation.

Symptoms of SAD:

person paces a lot

very fidgety

stops talking mid sentence...a lot

wrings hands

angered by slightest infractions of others

finds fault in others a lot

hard to breathe when focus/attention is shifted to them

sweating profusely

mumbling

shrinking to hide

lack of eye contact/wandering eyes

painfully shy and withdrawn

picking the nails, picking the skin

always the person in the back of the room or in a corner

gravitating toward the first person they recognise and following them everywhere

headaches

finding ways to avoid certain situations

crying before or after social events

feel dizzy and the entire world becomes very far away

feeling like chest was caving in

assuming that everyone is focusing on them

assuming that people are laughing about them

grind their teeth a lot

bite their knuckles

tap out drum patterns with their feet or fingers

nausea and vomiting

muscle weakness

migraines

heart arrhythmia

increasing nervous tics

Keep in mind that social anxiety exists on a spectrum. Not everyone is paralysed at the smallest conversation, but some are. Others feel mild discomfort at certain types of socialising. It’s all relative.

DO'S:

DO write in a lot of internal dialogue. People with SAD say that most of their anxiety is created by their own internal rumination. So, add a lot of overly self-critical internal dialogue and have them think about trivial things that they may or may not have gotten wrong for hours after the fact. People with SAD also tend to avoid initiating with anyone, instead preferring for them (the other person) to initiate — because then they know they're not inconveniencing them (the other person). If a person with SAD does have to interact with people then they tend to plan and rehearse what they're going to say to them. However, once the social interaction has begun, there will be very little internal monologue. In those situations, the character is very much relying on instinct. After the interaction, if the character feels that they messed up (which is likely; be sure to pick up on even the slightest fumbles or awkward pauses), they should keep thinking about how they're an idiot and they want to never have to talk to another person again, because they know it'll end the same way. If they feel like they did a good job, they should express surprise at how well it went, congratulate themselves, and say that they should maybe do this more often — although they probably won't.

DO let them have observational skills. Part of the anxiety stems from not always knowing how to/being good at socialising. Thus an anxious person will watch others closely for clues to their performance and acceptance. While it doesn’t always tell the person how they are doing, it does teach them a lot about the people around them and how they feel about each other. The person in a group with SAD may actually have a better idea of who in the group are friends, enemies, annoyed with the others, think they are better, have crushes, and so on. Having SAD doesn’t mean that a person doesn’t know social cues, it means that they underestimate their ability to use them. Don’t confuse SAD with autism.

DO make it influence all decisions. This is one you can do as the writer and not include every bit of internal dialogue. Just keep in mind that Every decision an anxious person makes is put through the anxiety filter first. Even if they are doing things by themselves, they have to evaluate the chances of meeting people, meeting people they know, having to talk to people when they are done. Keep that in mind when writing these characters in order to keep their personality consistent. That said, in general you can think of someone with SAD feeling physically, mentally and emotionally uncomfortable and "out of place" in ordinary social situations - they want out of it, looking for the door, excuse to leave, cut the interaction short. There could be a sense of shame, guilt and self-loathing about not being "good enough", or that there is something broken and wrong with them (or society).

DO give them other traits. Make sure you give them other traits that influence their decisions and drive their motivations. Someone can have anxiety and also love adventure, want to save all the stray dogs, want to help orphans, want to be a basketball hero, etc. One of the big problems with SAD is that it interferes with a person’s desires to do and be other things. It doesn’t always win though. And sometimes a person may decide that an awkward encounter or two is worth taking part in some other activity they love. Just remember to keep your characters balanced.

DO let them find each other. SAD is probably more common than you’d think. Not everyone has a crippling case. You can have characters share their anxiety with each other and comfort each other and help each other through tough times. SAD can make a person feel isolated but they don’t have to be, and often aren’t as isolated as they think. That observational skill can also help them find the right people to share their feelings with. Not all socialising is terrifying, it can often be cathartic.

DON'T'S:

DON'T make them hate people. Social anxiety does not mean that the person afflicted doesn’t like people or always craves solitude. One of the harshest aspects of SAD is that a person may want companionship and friends but still have uncontrollable discomfort when faced with making friends or spending time with the friends they already have. This constant tug-of-war between wanting friends and feeling the anxiety around people can cause a lot of internal pain and lead to other emotions and conditions such as depression. Someone with SAD can have friends. Even a lot of friends. But certain factors may influence how a person with SAD chooses friends more than they influence others. The level of contact is different for everyone and there will be some friends who can take up more time while not taking up more energy on the part of the anxious person. However, SAD can get so bad that the person with it is unable to leave the house for days at a time, ghosting on all social engagements, not answering their phone and ignoring all texts; but that still doesn't mean they hate people.

DON'T always make them succeed. If you are writing about a person with SAD and they are forced again and again to go outside their comfort zone, make them fail. Have them go to a meeting and then duck down a side corridor at the last minute and disappear. Have them talk to a person and then freeze up in the middle of a conversation, at a loss for words. The longer they go without knowing what to say the stronger the anxiety gets and the harder it is to think. Or have them execute the socialising brilliantly but then go into the bathroom and cry from the overwhelming sense of effort it took to look normal. And just because they have had a few successes doesn’t mean that they will start succeeding every time. Sometimes, the energy it takes, even when the interaction was a success, means that next time they are reluctant or too exhausted to do it again.

DON'T always give them "tells". Anxious people can be very good at hiding it. In the example above of the person who socialises brilliantly and then cries in the bathroom, no one knows how hard it was. They only saw the brilliant “performance.” Keep that in mind. Not all people uncomfortable with socialising are bumbling awkward goofballs. Sometimes they actually appear very cool and collected.

DON'T suddenly make their anxiety disappear when they're at the end of their character arc. This pisses me off, anxiety is a life-long condition. It cannot be "overcome" easily. However, the person with it can learn to live with it. They can visit a psychiatrist, get pills prescribed or change their lifestyle completely to fit around their SAD. A person with anxiety always thinks about their anxiety. Even when they are happily at home reading a book, sometimes they will think about an upcoming engagement, or wish they made friends like the characters in their book. Every time a person with SAD makes plans they have to run through a list of criteria before nailing anything down. Will they have time before and after to prep for and cool down from the experience? Is it something they have done before and feel comfortable doing? Can they back out at the last minute if they feel too overwhelmed that day? These are just a fraction of the things that go through an anxious person’s mind before committing to plans. Again, this isn’t an absolute, but for many people with SAD it is a defining characteristic of who they are. They don’t talk to a single person, even a spouse sometimes, or make a doctor’s appointment without the anxiety affecting how they feel, think, and behave. It is always there. Always.

That's it for today folks! I hope everyone has an absolutely fantastic day! 😊❤

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#social anxiety #mental health #social anxiety disorder #writing tips #writing advice #writing #writblr #my writing #anxiety awareness #anxiety disorder #mental illness

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nhaomei · 4 years

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Omen - Viper - Sage theories coming up so buckle up kiddos

SO! Whatever happened to Sage and Viper, but mostly to Omen is what has caused the dimension break, creating multiple dimensions. Now, hear me out, bear with me, let me explain. So, whatever it was that has caused Omen to become what he is now, it has ripped him apart again and again, we know that. He has died multiple times. ("There is... another of me. How many times did I get ripped apart? How many times did I die?") His most important quote is "I am the beginning, I am the end." What does he mean by beginning? Maybe the dimension break, if it weren't for him getting split, all of this shit wouldn't have happened. Now, to talk about what I think he means about being "the end": Viper wants to help Omen become human again, it is one of the main things what drives Omen as well, it seems ("I will take back what is mine."). Although, I don't think he is sure of him ever becoming human again is possible. ("My burden never ends.") The voice lines have lead me to the conclusion that while the other agents ("impostors", "copies") are alternative versions of their 'original' selves (they are the same, but completely different... am I making sense?), Omen's 'copies' are way more than that. When he got ripped apart, he got 'split' between worlds/dimensions ("Split... sighs they don't know the meaning of the word.") that is why he is also always glitching, he is struggling to keep himself in one place, something is always pulling against him... (Although we know from one of his voice lines that if he gives in to this 'strain', he dies: "I let go for a second!" - when he gets resurrected (and some more voice lines fit in here but-, yea too lazy to write them all)) Fragments of himself literally scattered, either resulting in appearing in the many dimensions, or even creating them. Omen clearly shows some serious struggle to remember what has happened to him, and judging by his interactions, it is murdering other Omen's that gets parts of his memories back. "I will kill that Omen. I will take his memories. I will remember." // (Viper: "I wonder what's inside their Omen. What truth is he keeping from ours?") I do believe that he is especially out for the other Omen's blood.

But! It’s worth noting that he also feels better about himself when he's slaughtering the copies ("I feel like myself. Catch them. Again!" // "Again. Hurt them, again!") "How many must I kill before I am restored? sigh More. Always more." This could refer to the copies as well, but I think he is talking about killing other Omens. He seems to be very enthusiastic about killing his other selves, after all. Lil bit more I feel like could be connected to him feeling more like himself when he kills: "Close, I am so close." // "I can be even more." (The last two are new voice lines from deathmatch) Alright, so about his relationship with Viper. It is obvious that they've known each other before the 'tragedy' happened (Don't really know what else to call it, truth be told), we know that from their (mostly Viper's) voice lines. However, there is something that Viper is keeping from Omen. They both talk about getting the enemy Omen's memories. Maybe she kept some for herself? How... do you keep memories? Maybe I'm completely off track with this one, but her keeping secrets from him despite them trusting the other is worth mentioning. ("Don't die here, Sabine. I need your secrets.") Another thought: Maybe Omen knew the risk he was taking when he confronted the... thing that has eventually turned him into Omen (if we go with the theory of him not being the results of a failed experiment which I honestly doubt is true, but we don't know that yet. These are but theories.) What made me believe this was this voice line: "Make the right choice, even if it calls for sacrifice." Maybe it was an act of self sacrifice? (He took a risk to... to save something? Someone? Or for the sake of something I didn't think of? And well, he took the risk and look where it has lead... but maybe the other option was far worse? Maybe they had no idea what the options even were? Or what risks he/they were taking?) Him and Viper might have been counting on Sage to help them if things were to go wrong, alas, whatever it was that has happened was beyond Sage's powers. Omen: "I survived obliteration. I will survive them." I do not know what to say to this line, honestly. It's pretty self explanatory. Worth mentioning, though. 'Obliteration' does sound like something beyond Sage's powers to me x) So due to unknown forces (a massive explosion? a rift? idk) Omen has died, got split etc etc, and maybe Sage did try to revive him, maybe it did succeed, but not in the way they wanted it to; Omen was beyond redemption at this point. But she did reach out to him. With time I'm positive she has honed her skills enough for even Omen to recognize her strength. ("Sage, you are truly... limitless.") // (Sage: "I wasn't strong enough before, but now, now I am strong enough for us all." // "This is what I trained for.")

I do not know how to phrase this, but Omen has... ascented? Well, he certainly did become something way more than human. He senses when people are afraid around him, he feels what Sage's powers do to 'the natural balance' ("A Radiant healer is with them. I can feel her pull against the natural balance..."). Both him ("I have reset the balance." // "I will break the balance."- although the latter he means metaphorically, says it when the teams are tied) and Sage ("Tip the balance in our favour.") seem to have their hands on the scale, both tipping it. Sage pulling against the balance by reviving people, Omen resetting the balance by... killing? But why with killing? Well... another theory coming up: "Sage, the life you give. Do you ever wonder where it's taken from?" Remember what I wrote about Omen feeling like himself when killing others (and Omens)? I guess you could say he 'collects' when he kills to get 'restored' (back to the line: "How many must I kill before I am restored? sigh More. Always more.")... what it is he collects though, I lack the vocabulary to explain. Maybe that is where she gets the life from; from Omen. And if this is true, it also keeps him from getting restored. A quote from Viper that might be referring to this: "One more time, Omen. laughs How many times have you heard that now?"

Omen feels more obliged to kill and ‘tip the balance’ when sage tips the balance by reviving. Even, just maybe, that it’s stretched to Reyna “(...) You give life, i take it.” in a way, he is maybe fixing what sage has ‘broken’ or is doing what he believes will fix it. While we are at Viper, whatever that 'Obliteration' was, maybe Viper got blamed for it. She either lost everything due to the 'obliteration' or they took it away from her (she might has done time? idk this was a sudden idea haha) OR! A third idea. She might have been there when the 'tragedy' was happening; maybe a rift opened? Maybe that was the first time clones have appeared? Since it is the clones she is talking to when she says these lines: "You wanted a villain!? I gave you a villain!" // "I am your monster. You made me this way. Never forget that." // "Let's take from them what they took from me... Everything." // "They call me a monster. Shall I prove them right?" // ("I will not loose my home again." // "Hurt those who hurt us." // "We will hurt them.") ...Or I'm completely wrong and she is talking about something different. We shall not forget about Kingdom. Now, about Sage and Viper's vendetta against her. "Sage, you're the only one able to keep us alive. Don't fail us now, like you failed me then." Worth noting, she didn't say 'us', but 'me', 'don't fail me’. It is possible that she is talking about what has happened with Omen, but I think its more connected to her losing everything she had. How, you may ask? To answer that question: I have absolutely no clue. "That's payback, Sage." -When she kills Sage. Well, "Hurt those who hurt us." // "I am your monster. You made me this way." Hmm? Might be connected to Sage. Once again, I don't have many ideas what it is that Sage has (or hasn't) done for Viper to be so mad at her. Now a little bit about Sage! She doesn't really talk much about Viper, her voice lines are more directed towards Omen. "Omen. You are a force of nature!" (in contrast to Omen's voice line about her 'pulling against the natural balance') According to google: "To say a person is a force of nature means the person is a very strong personality or character. In short, a person that is full of energy, unstoppable, and unforgettable. These attributes can play out in many ways, and those viewed as a force of nature, or who self-identify in this way, need to have an acute awareness of the impact, and consequences, sometimes unintended, of their power." ‘Force of nature’ in this case can be used in two contexts: to compliment omen by proclaiming he is strong, or to say that he is... one with the balance? His powers and who he is is literally a ‘force of nature’, becomes merged less with humanity and towards the unknown abyss of what we do know. Sage most definitely pities Omen. I'm convinced about that. "I wonder what torture their Omen is going through. Is it like ours? Poor soul." Does she know what her Omen is going through though? Hmm maybe she does. Sage and Omen embody life and death, Omen does feel her powers, but does she feel his? I say yes. And here is why: "Their Omen might be a nightmare, but I was never scared of the dark." Omen's whole kit works around fear, he fights by inflicting fear in his enemies. We know that from his many voice lines, his abilities and that one voice line from Phoenix: "Omen wins by fear. Don't let him get to you!" I don't believe an ordinary human is able to withstand Omen's paranoia. Sage however (while being human herself) does not fear him. Why? She knows better than that. She knows more. To quote Omen "They fear death... they should fear so much more than that." Sage might be aware of a huge chunk of what Omen knows... and knowledge keeps her from being afraid. That is all I have, thank you for coming to my TedTalk. Also! Feel free to share your thoughts on the matter, I’m curious! ----- Special thanks to @breaddaerb for helping me out finish a few thoughts

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starberry-cupcake · 4 years

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This may be a bizarre subject of discourse to bring up, but let’s talk about Daisy Duck. Or, in other words, about sexism and classic Disney.

I just had the displeasure of reading a comment on a post about Daisy and Donald in the Ducktales reboot, about how Daisy is “actually a bitch” in the comics, etc. (I’m gonna spare you the whole sentence).

This may blow your entire mind, but characters are fictional. People write them. There is a very clear reason why Daisy Duck has consistently been, with very few exceptions, depicted as several negative stereotypes: she was inherently created within a sexist mindset. It’s insane to me that men talk about Daisy as if an anthropomorphic lady duck was a real person, instead of looking into why the men behind her characterization have, most often than not, had the need to depict women in this fashion.

Minnie and Daisy were born out of a sexist idea. They were created to be Mickey’s and Donald’s “girlfriends” and “female counterparts”. They weren’t made out of nowhere, like Mickey, Donald, Goofy or Pluto; much like other female characters of Disney’s early universe, they are female “versions” of their male lead counterparts. They were thought as Mickey and Donald with a bow, so to speak. And maybe kind of literally.

In Minnie’s case, they ended up creating a demure “angel-in-the-house” archetype. Because early on, after criticism on Mickey’s problematic aspects, adult audiences of the 30s wanted Mickey to be less of an asshole and more pure and wholesome as a “role model” for kids. Mickey’s shortcomings started to become something born out of his innocence and honest mistakes, to avoid this perception of him being a “negative role model”.

So Mickey being always positive, well-intentioned and pure turned Minnie into the “feminine” version of that in most of her depictions, especially from the 20s to the 40s: a lady in distress and, later on, a demure housewife. Minnie cooks, cleans, attends to the house, keeps Mickey down to earth and scolds him when necessary. A very clear example is the 1941 short The Little Whirlwind, in which Minnie requires Mickey’s assistance to work on the garden while she bakes.

Donald, on the other hand, was the character allowed to go wild. He was referred to as the “problem child” by Walt Disney and he permitted the type of comedy Mickey was not allowed to provide. He was easily angered, violent, prone to physical comedy and sometimes downright a jerk. Which is, probably, why he’s the most featured character in all of Disney, with even more appearances than Mickey or Goofy.

Even if Donald’s characterization has fluctuated through the years, maybe being the most developed out of all of the classic Disney characters (something possible due to the fact that he was allowed to be flawed), these basic notions are the ones they used as a base to create Daisy in 1940. The feminine version of Donald’s charming wild manliness was, for the 40s mindset of womanhood, a “bitch”.

Daisy was conceived as a more “refined” female character, because making her a “high maintenance” girlfriend was a prompt to give Donald more “funny moments” in which to fail and get upset. Daisy’s nature, matching Donald’s in attitude, added what they considered a feminine poise and a constant need to try to change him and “better” him, which turned hypocritical when she herself was also quick to anger. Because, women.

With time, some of Daisy’s characteristics were refined and developed. She became a career woman in instances like Quack Pack and in other instances she has been shown as a fashion designer, in 2018 she had an entire meet and greet centered on her designs for Donald’s Dino Bash, for example.

Still, for both Minnie and Daisy, some of their early characteristics were never fully gone.

House of Mouse (which is a really good show, don’t get me wrong) still saw Minnie as a manager for Mickey’s business and Daisy as a diva wanting to shine. The Three Musketeers, which is one of the best trio movies, still had Daisy playing the "hard-to-get” object of Donald’s unrequited attentions until the very end. In the Mickey shorts, Donald and Daisy often show up in opposition to Mickey and Minnie as a couple with issues, like in The Adorable Couple.

Before Ducktales, Daisy’s last animated appearance was Legend of the Three Caballeros and OH BOY. All the steps forward, albeit minimal, that things like House of Mouse or The Three Musketeers had done with Daisy, this show erased. And it’s a pity, because the show is funny and the Caballeros are fantastic, but Daisy once again becomes the nagging girlfriend with high standards who wants to change her boyfriend and blah blah blah.

I didn’t know if the Ducktales reboot would be allowed to have Daisy, because the old show did not and they don’t have authorization to use certain characters (seriously people, how would having Mickey in an episode tarnish his image?).

When I heard she was going to be in season 3, I was hopeful yet hesitant, because things were not going well historically for my girl Daisy. Was she going to be the nagging ex like in Legend? A spotlight-seeking Diva like in HoM? Play “hard to get” as in 3M?

The answer was: none of the above. Donald and Daisy did not know each other previously. They don’t immediately fall head over heels for each other. Donald isn’t insistently seeking her despite her rejection and she isn’t constantly nagging him despite his attempts to be better.

They are just two people with similar ways of reacting who, listen to me, respect each other. I was floored.

Daisy is a designer, much like in previous iterations of her character, and she is bossy around her job because she’s intent of seeing things through and wants to succeed in her field. Donald isn’t immediately taken by her, he gets to know her and sees some of himself in her, as she does, and then they defend each other from those attacking them.

But the most mind blowing thing in the Ducktales episode was that the key to their relationship so far is...wait for it...communication.

Donald has been established to have communication issues with his family, not only literally, because he speaks like that, but also because there’s a lot he doesn’t tell others, like when they discovered he was seeing someone about his anger management issues because he wanted to take good care of his nephews after his sister disappeared (how good is this show?). He even struggles sometimes reaching his friends, Panchito and José (although he had a heart-to-heart with Goofy that was pretty sweet). And he fights a lot with Scrooge, especially when both had to pretty much deal with Della’s disappearance in their own distinct ways.

So Daisy comes in and listens to him. She understands him. And he listens to her. This is HUGE.

I don’t know how this will be developed, but the fact that Ducktales was able to introduce Daisy in a way that didn’t erase her personality and yet treated her with respect blew my entire mind.

So, to respond to this person’s comment, maybe it isn’t that “Daisy is actually a bitch”, maybe Daisy is a fictional character who has been consistently written and produced by men with a sexist mindset and it took a reboot that actually gives a damn to give her the foundation necessary for her to be a character that is independent from these outdated ideas.

#long post #ducktales #ducktales season 3 #disney #daisy duck #i have Thoughts and Feelings #sorry for writing long posts #i was going to add visuals but #i thought it'd be too much #i know I'm gonna get 'well actually's but this post is mainly centered on animated appearances #because the comics are a can of worms i'm not gonna open #but the point of who writes her still stands the exact same #albeit in a different specificity #also I'm not making a complete chronological dissertation on daisy because you wouldn't read it lol

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guzhuangheaven · 4 years

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Which cdramas would you rate as having the best/most accurate costumes you have ever seen? And are also historically accurate in terms of culture and history?

We always dance around answering this question, because it is impossible (for us) to answer. For two reasons.

1) There is no such thing as historical accuracy in dramas

You can never know everything that is needed to know about how people lived, dressed, styled their hair etc. in ye olden times unless you are a time traveller who has actually lived in those times. Historical records, extant garments, paintings, drawings, statues etc. can give you an idea of what people dressed like/lived like at the time, but historical records are fickle. They do not necessarily reflect the lives of everyone in society and often can be imperfectly preserved, leading to gaps in the knowledge we can have today. Because of this, any dramas that claim to be 100% historically accurate in terms of their costume/make up/whatever is lying because that is impossible.

What dramas can do, however, is do extensive research on the cuts and materials of clothes/jewellery/make up people used at the time and try their best to recreate them with the materials available to us now. Even then, dramas, for the sake of aesthetics, will often take creative liberties, for example using chemical dyes that make clothes in colours that was probably very hard/impossible to get, or not available to that person in that social class, at that time.

All this is to say, I personally don’t usually scrutinise dramas for “historical accuracy” in their costumes, unless the drama is so bad that I can’t concentrate on the story and that’s what I turn to nitpicking to give myself a reason to keep watching. At the same time, I will forgive A LOT of costuming sins if the drama keeps me engaged with its story. Examples of this include Oh My General with its OBNOXIOUS use of colours and The Mischievous Princess with I don’t even know what to call this travesty they call costuming Ming dynasty.

However, this does not mean that dramas can’t try to be historically accurate, of course. To me, dramas that succeed in this area makes it clear that they have done research and consulted extant garments/historical sources to make their costumes look like it could reasonably have existed in the time the story it is set in.

I guess I will talk about Ruyi and Yanxi because I just know someone will ask us about it again eventually, despite the fact that we have sort of tried to avoid answering the question of whether Ruyi or Yanxi is more historically accurate the last time we were asked.

Here’s our very inexpert, very limited opinion, based on extremely limited research, on this question: both Ruyi and Yanxi clearly consulted extant garments/accessories of the Qing dynasty, and tried to recreate them in different ways.

There is evidence that Ruyi based many of their costumes on extant garments. We have a post about it, even though we do strongly suspect these extant garments were from the wrong time, i.e. they are late Qing circa 19th century, purely because they still exist at all, rather than the early Qing period of Qianlong. Yanxi also based its costuming on extant historical artifacts, including the use of the yunjian collar and the velvet flower hair accessories, which can be seen in paintings of women from around that time.

And then there is this headdress which Er Qing wears to her wedding, which has photographic evidence that it existed, but then the time of photography is clearly not the time of Qianlong.

However, the point we’re trying to make is that, because the Qing dynasty stretched 300 years, it is highly likely that both of these dramas did their research, then cherry picked the aspects of clothes and hair from different times of the Qing dynasty that suited their drama’s aesthetics. Does that make them historically inaccurate? Well, that depends on what level of accuracy you are after. But realistically, to expect them all to dress like it was really Qianlong’s time is likely almost impossible, not to mention would require the costumes to change, as both dramas spanned like 30 years.

Also, even when you can tell the drama did consult extant garments and artifacts, they can still fail in the making of the costume. Case in point, Danshu’s pheasant robe is very polyester and has printed “embroidery”, even though it was set in the actual Song dynasty when they would have worn this garment.

Compare that to Royal Nirvana, which was set in a fictional dynasty (based on Song), but managed to pull a pheasant robe that looked a thousand times better because it was actually embroidered.

Here’s a more important reason why we often don’t want to answer questions about what dramas are historically accurate:

2) We don’t know.

Can I just stress again that we are not historians of Chinese period clothing, history, anything? We’re not even Chinese and can’t even read Chinese. Any random “knowledge” we put on here is result of years of accumulation from watching dramas (so take everything we say with a fistful of salt) and yes, sometimes research, but in the sense of we google things. We also have to translate things on google translate, which admittedly is a little better these days especially from Chinese to Vietnamese, but still highly inaccurate sometimes. Sometimes we have sources that has been translated into Vietnamese or English, but whether that’s accurate is dependent on whether the source is accurate and whether the translation is accurate. tl;dr: don’t believe everything we say and don’t look to us for…you know, authority.

And on that note, regarding your other asks, unfortunately we don’t think we can answer them, simply because if you haven’t found the answer you want by Googling, it’s very unlikely that we can do better. Our series of post on Qing dynasty costumes exists because the popularity of Legend of Ruyi meant that this information was available in Vietnamese, and we just did a couple of steps to make sure the information was reasonably believable by looking up the Chinese sources and putting them through translation bots. We would not have been able to do all of this research from scratch.

ALL THAT BEING SAID, here’s some links of relevant posts on @ziseviolets tumblr, which maybe I should just have directed you there from the beginning:

Hanfu in television dramas

Recs for historically/stylistically accurate Chinese drama

- h

#ask #legend of ruyi #the story of yanxi palace #serenade of peaceful joy #royal nirvana #qing dynasty #yanxioutfits #ruyicostumes #song dynasty #theitgirlblog #tldr don't ask us about historical accuracy #we don't know and often don't really care #historical accuracy #guzhuang 101

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cinefairy · 3 years

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I view myself as a failure to be honest. A liar and someone who struggles to do what others do easily. When it comes to others, I assume they are better unless proven otherwise. I see myself as inferior to everyone like a baby that people have to boss around and have to tell what to do. I feel like I’m stupid sometimes. I see myself as someone who can never make up their mind and I’m just here to please people. I feel like I have to do something in order to win the affection and attention. I feel like when I enter a room, no one turns their head unless I’m doing something fun or exciting and even at that, they look at my face and lose interest. I feel like someone who guys would be like “Eh, she’s a 3/10. Why would you ever let someone that ugly play you?” But I have this false delusion in my head that I’m pretty but everyone else thinks the opposite. I feel like that friend in the movies that everyone knows is dumb and ugly, but continues to lies to themselves to escape reality. I just feel like I’m lying when I’m confident because I mean look at me? Do I really have the right to feel confident when I look the way I look and act the way I act. I feel like the bitch that people force themselves to be around so she doesn’t get hurt when she figures out no one actually likes her. I feel like loser who never wins even when they try. I feel like someone who tries and tries just to be inferior to everyone around them. I feel like someone who is scared and instead of succeeding in the end, they were right and they end up failing like they thought they would. I feel like someone who struggles with shit that comes easy to everyone else. I feel like someone that’s only made to be a stepping stone for others and is only mean to “defend themselves”, but deep down they are just insecure. The opposite of THAT BITCH or an IT GIRL. I can never see myself in that light. More of the best friend or girl that follows the it girl around and follows her every move knowing she will never amount to the true IT GIRL. I feel like everything and everyone is against me and whatever higher power that’s out there (God) is laughing at me for attempting manifestation knowing I used it as an escape from Christianity. I mean how can I be the god of reality when I’m me? I’m just tasha. I can’t be a god when I’m this pathetic. I couldn’t even manifest a simple eye change and it’s been a year LMAO. I’ve seen others manifest what I want in days. I feel like I’ve made up manifestation in my head and I’m trying to use it with no concrete evidence besides success stories to make me feel better about my horrible life. But even if it was real, I will fall out of it like I did with everything else. Like I did with trying to journal or trying to workout because I’ll end up failing and lying to everyone and telling them I succeed so I look good. I feel like someone who fails and fails and someone who the universe is against LMAO or whatever higher power there is. If it was for me, why haven’t I gotten what I wanted? If I’m a god, why do I feel the way I do about myself? If I’m a god, why do I look the way I do? I don’t capture the beauty I’ve always wanted. I have a long face and droopy eyes THATS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT ANYONE WANTS. And I know people will be like I wish I had your determination. No you don’t because it’s physically hurting me at this point. I keep failing and getting hurt and won’t take no until I finally snap and leave it forever. Until I snap and lie and tell others I finally succeeded. I can’t even decide on what I fucking what. What boss bitch doesn’t know what they want? My determination is all for nothing if I just end up failing and have to cover for myself by saying, “Oh yeah it totally worked out.” Ik self concept but what specifically do I affirm for self concept and how do I affirm it to make it feel natural?

trust me you’re not alone. ive had similar thoughts, ive had similar experiences, id recommend you ranting more, getting it all out because if you keep those emotions and feelings bottled in it will become worse.

work on your self concept first!! and to make it feel natural for you id recommend using words that you normally use on a daily basis. or complaining, complaining is rlly good too. we complain about bad things in life and we see how that comes into our reality..why not turn it around to something positive? “i hate how i look, i want to be like other girls” FUCK NO. change it to something like “i look goooddd way better than yesterday, other girls wanna be me lol thats why they dont turn their heads around they’re jealous” lol something like that idek. make it up as you go along!! make manifesting fun and normal for you, stop thinking affirming as a chore. have random daily convos with yourself on how you’re confident, love yourself etc. at first it might feel “unatural” but if you persist and persist and persist you think those thoughts automatically. affirm your self concept in areas which you feel are weaker so maybe for you it might be appearance, personality, self hatred/doubt. you deserve love, happiness, self love fill your mind with those, fill your mind with images (if you want) with all the things you love, your mind is like a house- make it as beautiful as you want and customise it!! and dont compare yourself to others tbh. it doesnt help at all. you are your own original beautiful person, who cares about the others, this is your reality isnt it? trust me you can do it. i believe in you..you actually have nothing to lose tbh. you have all this time to recreate yourself.

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journey-to-balance · 4 years

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30 Amazing Things You Can Start Doing Right Now in Order to Improve Your Life. Lifestyle Guide Only. Feel Free to Add or Subtract from This List

#1. Start spending time with the right people. – These are the people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways. They are the ones who make you feel more alive, and not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be, unconditionally.

#2. Start facing your problems head on. – It isn’t your problems that define you, but how you react to them and recover from them. Problems will not disappear unless you take action. Do what you can, when you can, and acknowledge what you’ve done. It’s all about taking baby steps in the right direction, inch by inch. These inches count, they add up to yards and miles in the long run.

#3. Start being honest with yourself about everything. – Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed. Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become. Be honest with every aspect of your life, always. Because you are the one person you can forever count on. Search your soul, for the truth, so that you truly know who you are. Once you do, you’ll have a better understanding of where you are now and how you got here, and you’ll be better equipped to identify where you want to go and how to get there. Read The Road Less Traveled.

#4. Start making your own happiness a priority. – Your needs matter. If you don’t value yourself, look out for yourself, and stick up for yourself, you’re sabotaging yourself. Remember, it IS possible to take care of your own needs while simultaneously caring for those around you. And once your needs are met, you will likely be far more capable of helping those who need you most.

#5. Start being yourself, genuinely and proudly. – Trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are. Be yourself. Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else. Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms. Above all, be true to YOU, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.

#6. Start noticing and living in the present. – Right now is a miracle. Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you. Right now is life. So stop thinking about how great things will be in the future. Stop dwelling on what did or didn’t happen in the past. Learn to be in the ‘here and now’ and experience life as it’s happening. Appreciate the world for the beauty that it holds, right now.

#7. Start valuing the lessons your mistakes teach you. – Mistakes are okay; they’re the stepping stones of progress. If you’re not failing from time to time, you’re not trying hard enough and you’re not learning. Take risks, stumble, fall, and then get up and try again. Appreciate that you are pushing yourself, learning, growing and improving. Significant achievements are almost invariably realized at the end of a long road of failures. One of the ‘mistakes’ you fear might just be the link to your greatest achievement yet.

#8. Start being more polite to yourself. – If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend? The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. You must love who you are or no one else will.

#9. Start enjoying the things you already have. – The problem with many of us is that we think we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life – a level we see others operating at – your boss with her corner office, that friend of a friend who owns a mansion on the beach, etc. Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there you’ll likely have a new destination in mind. You’ll end up spending your whole life working toward something new without ever stopping to enjoy the things you have now. So take a quiet moment every morning when you first awake to appreciate where you are and what you already have.

#10. Start creating your own happiness. – If you are waiting for someone else to make you happy, you’re missing out. Smile because you can. Choose happiness. Be the change you want to see in the world. Be happy with who you are now, and let your positivity inspire your journey into tomorrow. Happiness is often found when and where you decide to seek it. If you look for happiness within the opportunities you have, you will eventually find it. But if you constantly look for something else, unfortunately, you’ll find that too. Read Stumbling on Happiness.

#11. Start giving your ideas and dreams a chance. – In life, it’s rarely about getting a chance; it’s about taking a chance. You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work. Most of the time you just have to go for it! And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be. Either you succeed or you learn something. Win-Win.

#12. Start believing that you’re ready for the next step. – You are ready! Think about it. You have everything you need right now to take the next small, realistic step forward. So embrace the opportunities that come your way, and accept the challenges – they’re gifts that will help you to grow.

#13. Start entering new relationships for the right reasons. – Enter new relationships with dependable, honest people who reflect the person you are and the person you want to be. Choose friends you are proud to know, people you admire, who show you love and respect – people who reciprocate your kindness and commitment. And pay attention to what people do, because a person’s actions are much more important than their words or how others represent them.

#14. Start giving new people you meet a chance. – It sounds harsh, but you cannot keep every friend you’ve ever made. People and priorities change. As some relationships fade others will grow. Appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work. Trust your judgment. Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory. Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.

#15. Start competing against an earlier version of yourself. – Be inspired by others, appreciate others, learn from others, but know that competing against them is a waste of time. You are in competition with one person and one person only – yourself. You are competing to be the best you can be. Aim to break your own personal records.

#16. Start cheering for other people’s victories. – Start noticing what you like about others and tell them. Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places. So be happy for those who are making progress. Cheer for their victories. Be thankful for their blessings, openly. What goes around comes around, and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you.

#17. Start looking for the silver lining in tough situations. – When things are hard, and you feel down, take a few deep breaths and look for the silver lining – the small glimmers of hope. Remind yourself that you can and will grow stronger from these hard times. And remain conscious of your blessings and victories – all the things in your life that are right. Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.

#18. Start forgiving yourself and others. – We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and by others. And while the pain of these experiences is normal, sometimes it lingers for too long. We relive the pain over and over and have a hard time letting go. Forgiveness is the remedy. It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.

#19. Start helping those around you. – Care about people. Guide them if you know a better way. The more you help others, the more they will want to help you. Love and kindness begets love and kindness. And so on and so forth.

#20. Start listening to your own inner voice. – If it helps, discuss your ideas with those closest to you, but give yourself enough room to follow your own intuition. Be true to yourself. Say what you need to say. Do what you know in your heart is right.

#21. Start being attentive to your stress level and take short breaks. – Slow down. Breathe. Give yourself permission to pause, regroup and move forward with clarity and purpose. When you’re at your busiest, a brief recess can rejuvenate your mind and increase your productivity. These short breaks will help you regain your sanity and reflect on your recent actions so you can be sure they’re in line with your goals.

#22. Start noticing the beauty of small moments. – Instead of waiting for the big things to happen – marriage, kids, big promotion, winning the lottery – find happiness in the small things that happen every day. Little things like having a quiet cup of coffee in the early morning, or the delicious taste and smell of a homemade meal, or the pleasure of sharing something you enjoy with someone else, or holding hands with your partner. Noticing these small pleasures on a daily basis makes a big difference in the quality of your life.

#23. Start accepting things when they are less than perfect. – Remember, ‘perfect’ is the enemy of ‘good.’ One of the biggest challenges for people who want to improve themselves and improve the world is learning to accept things as they are. Sometimes it’s better to accept and appreciate the world as it is, and people as they are, rather than to trying to make everything and everyone conform to an impossible ideal. No, you shouldn’t accept a life of mediocrity, but learn to love and value things when they are less than perfect.

#24. Start working toward your goals every single day. – Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Whatever it is you dream about, start taking small, logical steps every day to make it happen. Get out there and DO something! The harder you work the luckier you will become. While many of us decide at some point during the course of our lives that we want to answer our calling, only an astute few of us actually work on it. By ‘working on it,’ I mean consistently devoting oneself to the end result. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

#25. Start being more open about how you feel. – If you’re hurting, give yourself the necessary space and time to hurt, but be open about it. Talk to those closest to you. Tell them the truth about how you feel. Let them listen. The simple act of getting things off your chest and into the open is your first step toward feeling good again.

#26. Start taking full accountability for your own life. – Own your choices and mistakes, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them. Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will. And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own. You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life. And no, it won’t always be easy. Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them. But you must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles. Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of mere existence.

#27. Start actively nurturing your most important relationships. – Bring real, honest joy into your life and the lives of those you love by simply telling them how much they mean to you on a regular basis. You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to a few people. Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like royalty. Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.

#28. Start concentrating on the things you can control. – You can’t change everything, but you can always change something. Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation. Invest your energy in the things you can control, and act on them now.

#29. Start focusing on the possibility of positive outcomes. – The mind must believe it CAN do something before it is capable of actually doing it. The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful. Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Regardless of how a situation seems, focus on what you DO WANT to happen, and then take the next positive step forward. No, you can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you react to things. Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects – whether or not you’re happy and successful in the long run depends greatly on which aspects you focus on. Read The How of Happiness.

#30. Start noticing how wealthy you are right now. – Henry David Thoreau once said, “Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.” Even when times are tough, it’s always important to keep things in perspective. You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night. You didn’t go to sleep outside. You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning. You hardly broke a sweat today. You didn’t spend a minute in fear. You have access to clean drinking water. You have access to medical care. You have access to the Internet. You can read. Some might say you are incredibly wealthy, so remember to be grateful for all the things you do have.

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fuckyeahspones · 4 years

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1. How did you start shipping Spones?

I started shipping spones when I somehow got it into my head that Spock would have an irrational desire to pick McCoy up and carry him around! I think adestroy’s comics first introduced me to the concept of spones, and it didn’t hurt that the first episode of TOS that I ever saw was All Our Yesterdays lol

Great spones fics (Surgeon’s Mate by belmanoir springs to mind), regular content from sleepymccoy throughout 2015-2017 or so, and excellent fanvids on YouTube by Danzinora Switch all helped to keep me interested in the ship.

2. Why did you ship them?

My “true” ship is McSpirk, but the great thing that the spones relationship has over the spirk relationship is the tension. Spones has what every romcom wants (and usually fails) to have: two people who are clearly well-matched for each other in terms of intellect, ideals, lifestyle and personality, but who have got off on the wrong foot due to relatively minor differences in temperament, mode of expression, prejudices and insecurities.

This tension can be played equally well for comedy and for angst. Furthermore, they are both such honest and loyal people that a serious meaningful relationship is totally plausible, opening up possibilities for fluff or epic romance. So you can have anything you want, with spones!

Also (unlike Kirk, unlike Spock), McCoy simply will not experience fulfilment without marriage. He is lonely and his career and friendships cannot fully sate that loneliness. He needs total commitment to and from one person. And Spock is the best match for him.

3. What are some reasons you like Spock and McCoy as characters?

Well I only fell into the Star Trek fandom because of Leonard Nimoy’s expressive face! Spock has remained my favourite character because I admire his stoicism, his utter integrity, his deadpan wit; and I relate to his reticence, awkwardness and (imo) demisexuality.

It took me a while to really like McCoy. In the show, the writers sometimes didn’t do the character justice, and the spones arguments don’t always make sense. But the fandom has really developed McCoy’s character as it was meant to be and as DeForest Kelley portrayed him. I love his sass, his selflessness, his mistrust of space and technology, the way he covers up his deep emotions with cantankerousness and surface emotions.

Above all, the great thing about McCoy from a shipper’s point of view is his boundless potential for pining! He breaks his own heart at the slightest provocation – which means he has limitless potential for bliss once things work out in the end.

4. Some of your fave things about liking Spones: tropes, fics, headcanons etc?

I like that spones works particularly well as an AU. Now normally I don’t even like AUs. With spirk, for instance, I can’t stand AUs because they can never be better than the actual spirk relationship in TOS, so what’s the point?

With spones, though, it seems as though TOS is almost the worst possible outcome, as though Spock and McCoy would, in any other universe or circumstances, have come together more quickly, easily and completely? So whether it’s a completely different AU (like Regency era or cowboys or something) or just a “what if this episode had gone a little differently” AU, there’s endless scope.

I’m sorry for the late reply! I saw this submission in the inbox but, before I could do anything, my power went out for days so I’m now just taking a chance to look at your answers!

That is a hell of an introduction to Spones! All Our Yesterdays has a lot of Spones content, Adestroy has such great comics, but when sleepymccoy made all that spones content from 2014-2017, it actually was one of the reasons I actually made a tumblr. Danzinora Switch’s videos are WONDERFUL but honestly her fics? Such good gen fic I’m cry. I can see how you got sucked into the Spones very quickly.

I, too, love McSpirk! (My multishipping butt collects ships like no one’s business lmao) You do make a great point about Spones having what most romcom movies want but don’t always succeed at with their main interests.

You are so very right about the writer’s not always doing justice to McCoy’s character (sometimes they write him antithesis to what has been established AS his character in other episodes -- I’ve discussed this before with Trek-Tracks, but Bev and I agreed that some of these writers would write Spock & McCoy as opposites, even on positions that would definitely be very out of character for McCoy, if it meant it was the “opposite” of what Spock was presenting, and it’s just very frustrating) and the amount of thought Deforest Kelley put into McCoy is quite amazing (I have a press release where he talks really in-depth about it, it’s a wonderful read!) and it’s nicer that fans have seen through some of that OOC bs and came up what maybe they were trying to establish with him at the time but didn’t always succeed.

And yes, to the boundless potential for McCoy angst, whump and pining. Goodness.

You have a good point about AUs! They really do work well transposed into all kinds of AUs (I know, I’ve accumulated to many in my fic wips lmao) which is a shame because there aren’t enough AU fics for this pair. In recent years, I’ve started to see more of them, but there is definitely room for more!

It’s been awhile since I’ve read Surgeon’s Mate, but I remembered it to be pretty good, and if anyone wants to read it, you can find it on AO3 here. I do remember it’s a pretty “old” fic, like 2011? 2012? It’s been awhile.

If you like Danzinora Switch’s fanvids, I think y’all would enjoy the gen fics. The fics are SUCH a joy to read, especially like that one where Spock & McCoy time travel to Vulcan’s past. It can be all found and read here, on fanfiction.net.

#submission #beastlyanachronism #spones #fic rec #i totally didn't ignore it actually seeing this in the inbox makes me SO HAPPY #i should run another ask time thing like this again it was fun to see y'all's responses

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meta-squash · 3 years

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Brick Club 2.4.3 “Two Misfortunes Equal One Happiness”

I had way more to say about this chapter than I expected.

Back when I was rereading Les Mis last February I made a post about this chapter essentially being boiled down to “emotional support Cosette” and I still kind of love that. Like, people use emotional support animals to help them feel better, partly because the responsibility of caring for the pet reminds them and/or helps them to take care of themselves. And I feel like this is what occurs in this chapter. This is Valjean learning to care for himself because he must do so in order to love and care for Cosette. And in turn, this is Cosette finally being free to come alive and love Valjean, because she is cared for by him.

“The heart of the former convict was like a virgin’s. His sister and her children were only a vague distant memory, almost totally vanished. He had bent every effort to find them again and, not succeeding, had forgotten them.” So now we have proof that Valjean really did search for his family. This line is always really interesting to me because way back in 1.2.6 and 1.2.7 we get some of Valjean’s interactions with his family and yet there is always that distance. However we still get him sobbing and touching the heights of seven little heads. Part of the cycle of Valjean’s tragedy and redemption, then, is that there was that potential for connection and love and care beyond survival within him the entire time, but that crushing weight of poverty ground it down to almost nothing. He cared, in that he was very much willing to take risks and make sacrifices for the wellbeing of his family, but it wasn’t the same kind of radiant, nurturing love. But the redemption is that he gets that with Cosette. He doesn’t get to save his sister or her children from their likely fairly unhappy fate. And perhaps Fantine could have been a stand-in for his sister; he doesn’t exactly get to save her, either. But he does get to save the child, he gets to save Cosette, the stand-in for or the echo of those seven little heads.

I also find it interesting that this passage then implies that Valjean’s heart has only truly been moved by the Bishop and by Cosette. He felt a sort of guilt and sacred duty re: Fantine but it wasn’t the same as the angelic (in the more awe-some sense) radiance of his heart after Myriel or the angelic (in the more....baroque sense) radiance after rescuing Cosette.

And ugh the fact that Cosette had “tried to love” while in the Thenardiers’ care and had failed! It’s so sad! But it’s also where she and Valjean diverge. If she is the childlike echo of Valjean’s prison-bound state, Cosette still retains a level of untainted purity that Valjean did not have in prison. He didn’t try to love. He rejected the one thing that is pure Love: god or divinity. Cosette, still untainted in some ways, tried to love and didn’t succeed. And now, the two of them are recovering from the same mental and emotional state together.

Found family! It’s just! So much! Happiness being utterly transformative! Safety being transformative! God this chapter!

I have a lot of feelings about Cosette and Valjean as soulmates. Cosette and Marius are lovers, but Cosette and Valjean are soulmates. Valjean doesn’t deteriorate in the end of the novel just because he’s old. He deteriorates because he tries to remove himself from his soulmate. Cosette brought him back from the dead when he came upon her in the woods. Removing himself from her essentially by force rather than allowing the connection to loosen and slacken naturally destroyed him.

Cosette and Valjean continue to be birds. I really like the use of this metaphor here because the Gorbeau house is really only a perch. They don’t stay here for very long. It’s more like a stop during migration than it is a permanent destination.

“Sometimes Jean Valjean wold take her little red hand, all chapped and frostbitten as it was, and kiss it. The poor child, accustomed only to blows, had no idea what this meant, and would draw back ashamed.”

Cosette is post-bagne Valjean. There are so many cycles and circles and callbacks in this novel but I think the most important and prominent and repeating one is that of Bishop Myriel and post-bagne Valjean. It is absolutely the most important and influential and meaningful interaction in this book because it sets up the entire moral message of the story: be kind and compassionate and helpful to those who are suffering, love them and it will change and even save their life. That is the moral of this book. And we see this interaction over and over again in all the characters. Not just in Valjean but in Marius and in Marguerite and in Les Amis and in Mabeuf and in Gavroche etc etc. It is The Message of the novel and we see its most immediate effects in Myriel’s influence over Valjean, but the echoes and ripples of that make up the entirety of this book.

Valjean being proud of himself for changing! I have a lot of feelings about that too! We almost never get to see Valjean actually feeling good about himself and about something he is doing or has done. But he gets to be proud of himself here because he learned to read for Bad Reasons and now he’s using those skills for the Best Reason. I wish this was a memory he could come back to when he thinks he’s a bad person or undeserving of happiness/good things/comfort.

“...he saw no reason now why he should not live to a very old age, since this child loved him.” I don’t know if Hugo meant this to be foreshadowing for the end of the novel but it feels like foreshadowing. It feels like this right here is the reason Valjean deteriorated so quickly. Not because Cosette didn’t actually love him anymore, but because Valjean convinced himself that she shouldn’t, and therefore that would mean that he shouldn’t be living.

Of course the result of a second imprisonment was more cynicism. You’d be cynical too if you were imprisoned for doing good, for trying to help a suffering person. I haven’t added a “relevant to present day” bit to a post in a while but it feels like this is something that happens a lot in present day. People imprisoned for no good reason, or imprisoned because they were trying to help someone but that was seen as bad (like stealing baby food/diapers to clothe a child, or some money-related something to pay for medical bills, or that poor woman who was imprisoned because she used her parents’ address so her kids would get into a slightly better school), that shit happens all the time in present day. People killed for trying to help, or for doing nothing at all. There’s more shit happening right now in America so I’m not going to go into that aspect right now but it’s just something where I think, well of course he’s going to come out of it cynical. It’s all but impossible to come out of it in any other way.

The up side is that Valjean and Cosette have each other. They are growing and healing together. I’m glad they get a little time to just be alone and start healing. I wonder what might have happened if Javert had found them a little bit earlier. I think it was easier for Valjean to escape because he had formed a stronger bond with Cosette, and she trusted him as both a friend and a parental figure. And he trusted her to listen to him, to stay quiet, and was preoccupied with keeping her safe for both of their sake.

#brickclub #les miserables #les miserables meta #lm 2.4.3 #les mis #les mis meta

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werevulvi · 3 years

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So I've been away from tumblr for a while. Not sure how long. Maybe a month? I'm writing a book (fiction) so I've been and still am busy with more fulfilling distractions from reality than social media. The book I'm writing is about a woman, Olga, who's transitioning like me, but then she's an assassin. I don't wanna get into all the itty gritty details of that until I'm done, but writing that book has been serving as a great distraction from my gender issues. Except I need to take breaks from my hyper-focused super intense writing spree at times to not accidentally boil my brain. What? Is working on a project for 10+ hours a day, every day, for over a month a little much? Sorry I can't hear you over my autistic hyperfocus. And those breaks get me tossed right back into... mostly dysphoria. That’s what I wanted to rant about.

I know this is an unfair accusation, but sometimes I wonder just how paranoid and anxious feminism has made me. I fully abhor victim mentality, but sometimes reading feminist posts, articles, etc, about the various evils of men (crime statistics, female victims' accounts of male violence, etc) makes me feel... like a victim, and hopeless, for being female. And it requires a lot of effort to dig myself out of that pit. I need to remind myself that I can trust men, that most of them are not violent, that they're not the real enemy, and that women are not so different from men. Otherwise what? Otherwise I'd give into my PTSD and get drowned out by my dysphoria.

PTSD says all men are dangerous and want my pussy, either to harm it or fuck it. PTSD says it's my fault I'm a victim of sexual trauma, because I am female. And I dunno why, but sometimes feminism echoes that sentiment, and that's not great for my recovery, or my long term pursuit of happiness. Dysphoria says I'm too different from men and that's why I hate being female. Dysphoria doesn't want any special treatment just because I'm female. Feminism echoes what my dysphoria says, sometimes, and that's not great. Dysphoria wants equal treatment. Receiving equity due to my "failed" sex feels like... I dunno, like wanting to crawl out of my fucking skin and set it on fire, I suppose. Bad female skin humiliating me. Because that again reminds me that my sex being female is what's wrong, and not the treatment of women as "weaker" and more emotionally frail. Then my solution is to get rid of my femaleness, so that I can be strong, fast and free. Independent enough to open a fucking jar. I feel trapped in the unfairness itself.

I still want to be different from women, not from men. I want to stand out among women, and I'm jokingly boasting about how I'm such an NLOG (Not Like Other Girls) and proud to be different, in masculine ways. I'm proud to be hairier, having a deeper voice, and that female socialization didn't stick to me as much. And likewise, I feel good when I'm similar to men, blend in among them, am compared to them as an equal to them, and that I managed to pick up on some male socialization. This is more subconscious, and not something I really think about.

I still wish I was male, and that impossible dream still hurts, I guess. I've been trying to distract myself from those thoughts by writing my book and... having sexual fantasies in which I am male. Clearly my own home made therapy that made me connect somewhat with being female (3 years ago) was ineffective in the long run, but now I can't possibly make myself believe I'm a man again, just because I still/again wish I was male. It comes and goes, yes, but it's seemingly in a curvy line that over time points me in the dysphoric direction, and not in the desisting direction. And that's what's so hard. That I basically have to force myself to this realization that... I can't talk myself out of my dysphoria, and that that little bit of connection I got to my sex 3 years ago, was an appetizer for a meal I'll never have. That feels cruel.

And I keep telling myself I don't have dysphoria. Nah, I'm just transitioning for the heck of it. If only!

I don't wanna be trans, and I don't wanna be dysphoric. I wanna be male, but that's different. I can't even see myself as a man simply because I am not male and can never be. Thus, I'm a woman, and unhappy with it. Yet, I clearly can't function as a woman socially either, and that frustrates me. I'm happy that I can look and sound so convincingly male in my appearance, and I'm really excited to go back on testosterone, but I... I feel trapped, in a medical condition I cannot escape. And it doesn't matter what fucking caused it, it's not going away! Point is it's not going away! I've tried for sixteen years! I am tired! And now I can't even call myself a man without laughing all the way to hell and back.

Everyone wants to be trans nowadays. Everyone who benefits from a new label. But I don't. Clearly I don't have an easy time with it, and it might be because I just have a shit ton of sex/physical dysphoria, and not even calling myself a man helps. It just adds insult to injury. I don't wanna play pretend, goddamnit, I wanna be a real boy! That's "problematic" to say, because I shouldn't shatter other trans people's dreams. Well, mine's shattered and I wanna whine about it. I don't blame them for their identities. How could I? Ignorance is bliss, and I miss bliss.

I think that's why I feel like I'm a woman who just wishes she was a man, and kinda always have. I wrote it in my diary when I was 16, four years before I even came out as trans, before I knew anything about trans ideology or gender critical or anything, but I knew I was dysphoric and fit the loose criteria for FTM transsexuals, and I didn't like that verdict. It felt like a death sentence, and now... now it feels like a cruel joke.

I don't think I'm really all that different from trans men. De-gendered, perhaps, but still just as bloody dysphoric and still just as much of a testosterone junkie. I'm just a less happy go lightly kinda FtM. I've always been a bit of a nihilist. The "if you leave the half full glass it will eventually dry the fuck out no matter how much water you keep pouring up into it, because the nature of water is to vaporize" -kinda nihilist, not the "the glass is half empty" -kind. Yes, there is a difference. I'm not a pessimist, I'm a hardcore realist, and reality is... being trans sucks and I can't do fucking shit about it. I want a solution, not rose tinted goggles. But at this point, I'd take that too. I've tried... but they keep falling off.

Perhaps I'm too autistic to get gender identity, or maybe I just don't have social dysphoria or gender incongruence, perhaps it just feels so fucking pointless. Words... they're just blah blah blah. They have whatever meaning we put in them. So I changed my personal meaning of "woman" to include my dysphoria and beard, and since then I'm fine with calling myself a woman. But woman is still just a word. It's what I am that I dislike, not what I'm supposed to call it. My problem is not in how people perceive me. They can perceive me as a stranded jelly fish if they so wish, it doesn't change reality that I'm an adult human female. And it's reality, that biological reality, that bothers me.

And I don't like that I realised that, because biological reality is the one thing I can't change. I can change my identity, but my identity as a woman is not the problem. The problem is my sex is still persistently female. And I don't wanna change what is not a problem. Why fix what ain't broken? I get that my sex isn't broken either (well it might be now, considering I've smashed it with testosterone) but I just don't wanna be a woman. Because dysphoria. No point in arguing. It just goes round and round in circles. I can't make a logical argument for why I don't like ketchup either though. It always comes back to "but I just don't like it."

I just get sad, sometimes, over being female, and uncomfortable. And I get envious of men's bodies, and then I get sad I can't have that. And I try to emulate what men's bodies do, which makes me feel a bit better, but then I remember I'm still female, and I try to be okay with that. Sometimes I even half succeed, and feel like "yeah, being a woman is actually kinda badass!" but then I remember that a cranky uterus and estrogen exist in my body, acting as if they want me to suffer a slow (very slow) death, and I get sad again. Is trying to like being a woman even worth it, considering that's mostly been going downhill since I was 3 years old? Well what the hell are my options, aside from that?! Pretending to be a man? Pretending that the nonbinary labels could do anything at all to benefit my existence?

I'm sorry, but I don't see the appeal, in either of those options. I'll try to just exist. That became my focus; just existing. But I can't distract myself 24/7. Because as soon as I stop distracting myself, for even just a minute, I get caught in the inevitable doom that is my dysphoria, and how hopelessly trapped I am inside it.

#dysphoria #transition #ftm #gender #rant #vent #writing a book #gender critical #non-pc #different types of dysphoria #transmasc

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #463

“the siren sings a lonely song of all the wants & hungers / the lust of love, a brute desire”

Describe the person that you would like to be in three years. I want my mental health to be in great condition, I really want to be in much better physical shape, ideally be living with somebody in our own place, have a job I'm happy with, have an improved social life, my own license and car... Think back to when you first met your significant other (or ex). Was your first impression of them accurate? It's funny, I honestly don't remember what my first impression of Girt was. I don't even recall our first interaction. I'm sure it was most likely that he was friendly, because he is and always has been. What is your most noticeable personality trait? Probably that I'm really, really shy. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Which of your family members do you resemble the most? I guess one of my immediate sisters? People tend to say stuff like they can definitely tell we're related. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. Who knows you better than anyone else? Hell, probably whoever reads these. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? I guess you could call dating Girt a "new chapter." I have a much, much stronger feeling of this attempt being more successful than the last now that I've been able to change my angle on how I see him. What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done? I don't have my own vehicle and never have. If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you choose? *shrug* Most products of highly expensive brands I find hideous anyway. Do you still talk to any of your old teachers? Yeah. One is a close family friend and actually our landlord. Does your family still use the home phone or are you all on cell phones now? We haven't had a landline is yeeeeaaarrrrsssss. Ever go to another school’s prom? No; my boyfriend went to the same school as me. Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do there? No; we live in the city now. :/ When I DID live in the woods, I absolutely loved wandering around with my camera for stuff to take pics of. Does your significant other ever make you mix CDs? None ever have but omg I wish that would be adorable. How did you dress your freshman year of high school? I was one of them emo kids. Would you ever date your best friend of the opposite sex? WELP that's what I'm doing lol. Would you say you have a high sex drive or not so much? I'd call it normal? Higher sometimes, lower other times, but not to either extreme. Come with an unpopular opinion. Silent Hill: Homecoming is a great game and while there's a lot of fan service from the movie, it belongs in the series. It's actually my second (or third)-favorite installment. Most of the SH community absolutely hate that game. What’s the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? A lot of shit Colleen would say if we got into arguments. She'd ridicule effects of my depression, said I'd never know what it's like to pay my own bills, stuff like that. She's hateful as fuck and everything cut deep. What’s fake about you? Like extensions, fake nails, botox etc. Nothing physical. If you got the chance, would you audition for a reality show? No. Have you ever gotten into a Facebook fight? More than once. What’s the cheesiest thing you’ve ever experienced irl? Hm, I'm unsure. Favorite flavor of jelly bean? Probably watermelon. Do you use Tinder? If yes, have you ever met up with someone you matched? No. You do you, but if I understand Tinder correctly, it just seems... really shallow to me. Like don't you JUST see their picture to decide if you're interested or not? It just enforces the false belief that appearance really matters in love. You just poured your heart out to your crush and all he/she does is respond “k”. What do you respond/do? Well, I don't have a crush anymore; my boyfriend and I literally exchanged "I love you"s last night. That's not a crush. But for the sake of the question, I'll imagine I was single and this happened, in which case I would be both hurt and annoyed. Like, either tell me you return the feelings or not. It's not hard. What's your favorite thing to order from McDonald’s? I usually get a quarter pounder w/ cheese or a McDouble, occasionally with a small or medium fry, depending on how hungry I am. When do you feel your sexiest? Never, hunny. What's your favorite emoji? I don't really have one? It just depends on what the situation calls for. What’s your skincare routine? I don't really have one... I just use a washcloth to clean my face. Who all out of your immediate family smokes? My dad and stepmom. Do you like incense or candles better? Incense, totally. Do you respect your parents? Yeah. What’s your bf/gf’s name? It's technically Donald Jr., but since high school, I've known him as Girt, a nickname I won't explain for his privacy. Do you wear glasses? Yeah. Do you like The Beatles? I honestly don't. Except "Hey, Jude." What was the last reason you got excited? Last night. When we were saying goodbye, I was scared to, but I told Girt I loved him, and he immediately said it back confidently. My heart did like five flips. I'm still over the moon about it. Yes, we just got back together, but we've been in each other's lives as a constant since HS, and after changing my angle of how I looked at him, it's not at all platonic anymore. Do you know anyone who drinks the pickle juice from the jar? Sara does alskdjfklwejrl;er Name something crazy that’s happened recently? Uhhhh... I dunno. My life is very uneventful to have something really "crazy" happen. Can you say for a fact that you’re happy right now? I'm happy about some things, but also nervous and self-doubtful. Have you ever zip lined? No, but they look fun. I'd just be really scared of losing my grip. If you broke your computer, would you be able to fix it on your own? Ha, no. Have you ever been on a boat and got sick? No, but the one time I was at the beach and on a boat riding to an island, I was TERRIFIED I was going to get sick because of the waves. I didn't, thankfully. Did you sleep well last night? For the most part. My new mask might just be working. Do your parents try and plan your life for you? Not at all. Do you have any pictures of you kissing someone? Yes. List two things about yourself that you find embarrassing. My weight and how dark my leg hair is. Do you like to cuddle with your pet when you are sad? Yes. Do you find piercing attractive or unattractive? h o t Do you have any secret hiding spots in your room? To put money, yes. Do you like parmesan cheese on your spaghetti? Ew, no. I don't like parmesan. Does your best girl friend have any talents that you don’t? Yeah. She can animate well, for one. And sing like a fucking champ. Do you have any video game systems in your room? Which one(s)? My Nintendo DS Lite is in here. Well, and my laptop is a gaming one. What color eyes does the last person you kissed have? ... Oh WOW I've known this man for a fuckin decade and somehow I'm not sure??? But I want to say light blue? Have you ever taken a ride in a helicopter? No. Have you ever visited hot springs? No. How slowly or quickly would you say you eat? I'm aware I eat too fast, because my mom will point it out almost without fail if we eat in sight of each other. I'm not a messy eater at all, just... fast. Chewing your food and swallowing isn't a complex task. I've made active efforts to slow down, I just haven't been able to succeed. It doesn't feel normal. That and I've come to discover that when I chew food TOO much, I don't like the mushy texture of it in my mouth. What did you do the last time you were with friends? Yesterday Girt and I planned to watch shitty Netflix anime for some laughs, but we wound up starting Attack on Titan, which I am officially pretty into. What kind of cologne/perfume do you like the opposite sex to wear? I don't care if they wear any or not, so long as they know how to clean themselves and therefore not actually smell bad. If you celebrate Christmas, do you get a real tree or an artificial tree? We always use a fake one. Is there someone who means a lot to you but they don’t know that? My sisters probably don't, really... Is money important to you? Live your whole life poor and I want to see you answer "no" to this. Have you ever watched a meteor shower? No. Do you like Slim Jims? LOOOOOOOVE them. Would you rather write a mystery or love story? Love story. Are you muscular? No. Working for it. Do you have one of those removable hand-held shower heads? Yes. Originally, this house didn't, but I hated it so much that Mom bought one. How many burners does your stove have? Four. Has your car ever been broken into? Mom's hasn't.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''blood milk and sky'' by white zombie

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