#sometimes the consequences of your actions matter. sometimes if it is apparent something will end in tragedy

[qiu-yan]

Serious Bitch Opinion: lan wangji...would be a terrible chief cultivator. yes, he is righteous and honorable and has a stalwart moral backbone. however, when you are given the responsibility of leading others, the impeccability of your own moral character must come second to what tangible results you can actually achieve for your people. and if you want to actually achieve any tangible results, instead of getting deadlocked forever or getting done in by your political enemies, you have to learn to compromise on some of your ideals. instead of freezing out the people you find morally despicable, you must learn to cooperate with them; otherwise, you will not achieve anything. and in order to achieve your goals, you must learn that not all of your goals are achievable--that, in order to get the more important of your desired measures passed, you must give up on some others.

now, this is almost the polar opposite of what MDZS as a text champions. arguably one of the central thematic thrusts of MDZS is the importance of not compromising on your ideals, even when it would be far more pragmatic to do so. thus, if lan wangji wanted to become a leader who could actually achieve things, he would have to directly contradict one of the most important messages of the very text that valorizes him.

the moral framework employed by MDZS to evaluate its characters and convey its themes is much more focused on ideals than on results. what matters to MDZS as a narrative is ultimately not the results of one's actions, whether one's righteousness led to joy or to ruin, but rather that one attempted to be righteous even in the face of almost inevitable failure. attempt the impossible, after all. the text of MDZS does not follow utilitarian ideas; it does not condemn wei wuxian for ultimately failing to save almost anyone. rather, wei wuxian's stalwart moral character is celebrated in spite of his failures because he, unlike everyone else, tried.

unfortunately--while someone who is only responsible for their own life can attempt the impossible, someone who is responsible for the lives of millions must instead achieve the achievable.

[emeritusemeritus]

(i’m the anon who submit the fred/angela/george thing)

the way you do fred/reader/george is good because the reader likes both of them and sees them as separate people. not like “i like one and the other is similar”. it’s acknowledged that they are different despite being so similar, and the reader isn’t written to like them JUST because they’re similar.

Hi anon, thanks for your kind words! I definitely agree with you and apparently I have some thoughts on the matter 😂🖤

A device I often use in the writing of twins x reader is that the reader is often the only one able to tell the twins apart, or at least most successful in doing so. This is something I noticed in the books, especially with Harry as he’s often the only one who can tell them apart- they are frequently nice and supportive of Harry and any other character that makes the effort not to treat them like one being. Anyone who dismisses them or treats them as a collective is often hounded or somewhat bullied.

I love the idea that the identical twins don’t look identical to the person that loves them (as is common according to partners of twins). I don’t see James and Oliver looking remotely similar anymore and can see their differences straight away so I imagine that if you cared and spent a lot of time with Fred and George, it would be the same.

I think in terms of writing, I use their natural identical looks to be the main focus for their ‘alikeness’ and their personality to be the differences. So I’ll mimic the whole ‘He’s not Fred I am’ or switching places/ jumpers as a nod to their similarities but their personality and how they interact with the reader is different (at least I always try for it to be).

My personal H/C for a relationship with both twins are…

George is sweeter, in all senses.

He’s a little more sensitive to the emotions of people around him, a little more shy to just come out and say what he feels (Fred is much blunter by default) and often spends time considering his words and actions beforehand.

Fred is more of a do first, think second kind of bloke, especially when it comes to trouble. Many times he’s been late to plans thanks to detentions because he couldn’t help himself, not thinking about the consequences.

George is the warm, welcoming hug at the end of a long day; the comfort and familiarity of someone you’ve known your whole life. The very sight of him is enough to grant you relief from the toil of a long day.

Fred is warm and comforting in his own way, the strong pair of arms that would protect you no matter what but a joke or a prank is never completely off the table.

George puts your feelings first, sometimes to the detriment of his own. He’s gentle and warm, considerate and loving. Calls you Angel all the time, but still uses your actual name endearingly.

Seems to have an endless supply of patience and very rarely loses his temper- never with you.

Fred is protective and quite possessive. He‘s the first to throw hands if you’re upset because of someone and always ready with just the right prank in retaliation, but sometimes it is quite literally fists. He doesn’t have an issue with sharing you, as long as it is only with George. Anyone else thinks they can get too friendly with you? Look into this telescope…

Fred is very touchy feely, always with his hand touching you in some way subconsciously, it’s like his little way of giving that physical affection when his words are joking/ blunt.

The banter would be unreal, always joking and playfully nipping at each other but it’s definitely from a place of love- even if it can sound harsh to other people. If the banter ever went away; that’s when to worry.

*NSFW*

I know I said George was patient.. BUT

He can also switch on to being very dominant in the bedroom, taking control and being a true dom, to the point you really, really want to call him daddy, just to see how he’d react. Even when you’re teasing him, he’s abundantly patient, allowing you to get yourself into deeper and deeper trouble.

Fred is tricky because as dominant as he could be, it’s not his natural way in the bedroom. It’s maybe the only time he lets George take the lead on anything, there’s definitely no competition to be the dominant alpha because it’s just not his style.

Teasing is actively encouraged in and out of the bedroom and he’d secretly love the torment- and inflicting it.

Let me know what you think!? 🖤

[commaclear]

I am not jealous of you Quackity apologist anon. I never will be jealous of you. So what if my darling ÆÆ mistakenly called you stormy? I mean, it’s a bit concerning because me and you have very different typing styles and I thought I made it painfully obvious who I am. But that’s okay because my lover is still learning.

At least now I know I should reach out to them to help em out a little bit. Who knows. Maybe they can help me and Wilbur semi defender with a chart or something. You’d probably be jealous of that wouldn’t you.

I’m not the jealous one here. I’m not the one who continues to talk shit about my ex to avoid them getting with new people after being divorced for longer than I can remember.

No matter how much of an act you put up, deep down you are really just insecure.

When me and you were married, I was practically ignored. You neglected me. And sure I wasn’t the most present spouse, I’ll admit that. We were both at fault. But after our divorce I found out anon marriage could be so much more.

Sure, me and Wilbur semi defender’s marriage has had it’s ups and downs. But me and them have more communication than we ever did. They saw that I had a problem and were upset and hurt, just like you. But unlike you, they didn’t quit on me. Instead, me and them talked and found a solution that worked for both of us.

One thing that I’ve always found ironic is how you reacted when you found out I was cheating and how you continue to treat me to this day. Me and you were married when I analyzed btp. Do you remember btp? Do you remember all that stuff that requires an understanding about perspective based ethics? If you don’t, here’s an excerpt from chapter 15 of bone to pick

Wilbur shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “I mean… there’s a lot of reasons? Like, there’s not one, big, catch-all answer.” Quackity turned to look at him. Wilbur couldn’t tell if he was intrigued or just passing a moral judgement; either way he felt the need to elaborate. “Like- like sometimes it’s just a sex thing… like you want more sex or more variety or something.”

“That’s ridiculous though. Why don’t people just talk to their partners?”

“Well most of the time it’s not just sex. I mean you could be really drunk or something, and it’s actually a mistake. Or you’re pissed off, and you’re tryna get revenge by-”

“So change the wifi password or tie all their shoes together or some shit like that. Do something petty that doesn’t destroy all the trust you’ve built.”

Wilbur was quiet for a moment. “Or you cheat because you don’t feel loved and- and you want to feel special and wanted and… and maybe the person you’re with has something your partner just doesn’t.”

“Then why not just leave your partner?”

“Maybe because… you’re scared- No, you’re terrified of being alone and of disappointing someone or hurting them, and so you just ruin everything for everyone instead. Even though you’ve made the same mistakes before, and it never ends well, and you know that- you just can’t help but chase that feeling of being loved, even if it fucks you in the end…” He sighed. “But I doubt you’d get it. Clearly you’re just more functional than the rest of us.”

Now we revisit this in close to the bone when Quackity cheats on his partners with Wilbur. Why did Quackity cheat? You would think an anon who focuses on Quackity would understand, but apparently not. So I guess I’ll just reanalyze this shit for you.

Quackity doesn’t seem to fully understand how Wilbur’s views on cheating could possibly make any sense. Cheating was bad to him. He might’ve been bad at relationships in the past but he had never cheated before. Not until he was feeling like his partners weren’t understanding him. Not until Wilbur had something he couldn’t get from his partners. Not until his partners hurt him to the point that he felt inclined to cheat.

Quackity cheats and then has to deal with the consequences of his actions. He loses his partners and their trust, his paramour who we gave everything up for decided it wasn’t gonna work, and he essentially loses everything. He loses his husbands, he looses Wilbur, he looses his job, he looses part of his eyeballs man. He looses it all.

While he shouldn’t have cheated, when you look at things from his perspective he had his reasons. We’re they great reasons? Not necessarily. But you’re an apologist. So I’m sure you can really understand why he did what he did. And it’s weird that you able to see him as a person but not me.

Do you know why I was unfaithful in the first place? Because you never ever reached out to me. After our marriage, you were hardly around. The only person who was around was ******. And I figured since you were never fucking there you’d wouldn’t notice if I did something. Maybe it was to catch your attention. Have you ever considered that you aren’t the only person who was hurt? Or are you doing what apologists do? Because an apologist can excuse their favorite characters actions, but never would think about how others like them deserve the same treatment.

I’m an analyst. Sure, I have had moments where I failed to understand all the characters. But I’m the end i eventually realize everyone has a side to the story. Everyone has a perspective. It’s like how Htid sally isn’t a horrendous person or how btp techno isn’t a bad brother. Perspectives are important. You call me a flat character but I think you just fail to look at my side of the story.

I feel bad for you, I really do. And it’s unfortunate that me and you didn’t work out. You get Quackity and I love that. When we found each other, we loved the fact that we talked about Quackity. Because a lot of people don’t give him the love he deserves. But now I’m realizing you don’t use that logic for anyone else. Because everyone is deserving of love even if they’ve fucked up. Every character is redeemable if they chose to be.

I think I’ve changed. Maybe not in the way you like, but I’m not trying to please you. I’m with three people who love me and understand that I don’t do well being tied down. Wilbur semi defender anon, dad Schlatt anon, and ÆÆ anon seem to understand me better than you ever did. And I think you’re just trying to hide the fact that you aren’t over our relationship.

All this shit with “cooler” qaa and telling all my partners that I don’t care about them, it really just feels like a defense mechanism. You were hurt and you still aren’t over it. You want to say I haven’t changed, but something tells me you’ve changed less than I have. You just don’t want people to see that. You’re insecure. You couldn’t help me. You didn’t even try. But now that other people have done a better job than you ever could you feel the need to try and drag them down to where you are.

In the drama summary comma wrote, they said you came back from a long journey of self discovery. But the only thing I think you discovered was your reflection in a mirror. Self centered asshole. You didn’t improve shit for yourself other than building up walls and pretending you don’t have issues.

You’re more like Quackity than I am. And you sure do fucking excuse your actions. And I guess that fits. That man’s never been too good at self reflection. But maybe it’s time you try and work on that. Because we all saw how it worked out for him.

So next time you want to come for me, leave them out of this. They’ve done nothing to you. You’re just mad at me and honestly I don’t understand how you’ve still got that much anger left. You’re gonna drive yourself insane if you don’t learn to let go. But that’s really not my problem to deal with

- the Quackity analysis anon

I almost can't believe you came out here and wrote an entire dissertation complete with citations, but at the same time it's completely in character for you

Just wow, I mean great analysis as always but still.... wow

[onewomancitadel]

So recently someone informed me that the killing Penny scene is to help Jaune get used to killing so that he can kill Cinder. I am not sure if I agree with this but they followed it up by saying that Jaune needed tp learn that sometimes killing is more merciful than healing which is buld up for him killing CInder. Apparently its thematically* obvious(whatever that means) I dont know anything about analyzing stories or themes so what do you think?

Your intuition is correct and what is being proposed here is absurd, it's not thematically obvious. But I suppose they learnt the word 'thematic' recently and decided to employ it to augment their argument.

'Thematically obvious' tell me what the fucking themes are then. For fuck's sake. I use this in the presence of discussing actual themes. I actually wondered if this were a troll trying to mock me but that was a bit 4D for me.

I'm sorry, this is just out of the gate absurd with such poor reasoning (just abstractly deciding what is right not intuiting from the rest of the story?) that I'm not quite sure where to start. Let's begin with the obvious:

Jaune killing Penny is a fissure in his identity when he had got comfortable

This fissue is something he has to heal (forced into a terrible situation), not learn to embrace. This is not a grimdark story. Salem is not going to be killed because it is not right to kill her, not just because it's physically impossible. If she dies it's on her own terms. We are literally shown her true backstory in order to empathise with her. I don't know how to make that any more obvious.

Jaune's sword breaks in half when he and Cinder fight; the deed is not fully on him and is something that's hurt him and is not something that is his true narrative purpose.

That leads into point two.

2. Killing Cinder reaffirms her worldview

That the world is a place of kill or be killed... killing is not healing. Killing is just the end. It's not freedom. It's nothing. I don't think there's really a coherent theory of what 'helping' constitutes here - Jaune helping Penny was not just killing her, it was allowing her to make a choice about whom the Maiden power goes to. It was part of solving the Maiden cycle of the powers. Jaune kept the power from Cinder; she's not meant to have the others. That she doesn't have the others in the first place is still what leaves the question open of her redemption.

If Jaune were supposed to kill Cinder, why would they reject that in V5? Why would he fully awaken his Semblance in that confrontation? I'm not here having arguments about canon during Beacon era, I'm having arguments about canon during Volume 8; I hope this person in question can keep up.

3. Where have they got this absurd conclusion about Jaune's character?

How is he remotely set up for it? Why would he learn to embrace something Cinder cornered him into? Why would I want to see Cinder's villainous worldview and the consequences of her actions in such a situation reaffirmed, validated and endorsed by the narrative?

It matters who is doing and saying what.

Jaune mercy-killing Penny is placing him in a position of narrative empathy with Cinder. It should not make him more like her in the sense of actual villainy; it should make him want to challenge her and understand her. That's it. That's the point. The point of this story is not about killing Salem, if this person had watched Volume 6 as well.

Whether or not he is involved with Cinder there is absolutely no way you set up the healer to kill Cinder who is deeply and profoundly wounded. Penny is a tragic loss. It was the immediate right thing to do but it was still a loss to him. If you completely misread his character, sure. If you ignore the themes of the story, sure. If you ignore the point of Penny's death, sure. If you ignore fucking everything to the point I actually can't be bothered expanding more - sure.

Really, if they think Cinder needs to die then they don't understand anything about the Maiden powers or the point of redemption in the story or anything related to Salem so we don't have the same foundation at all. It's not thematically obvious because they don't know what themes they're talking about.

But this is a great example of someone who has a belief (Jaune is going to kill Cinder) that they've held onto for several volumes or takes to be a given conclusion and is trying to force the canon facts to their interpretation (with the endearing use of 'thematically obvious'). It's actually very funny watching fandom scrambling to fit new information into their given paradigms; this is a new one I haven't seen before, but I insulate myself from the rest of the fandom for a reason.

I've been seeing this Jaune will kill Cinder nonsense for the longest time such that I accept that asking them to actually pay attention to what's being said onscreen and is being endorsed by the narrative is a losing game. It's the first time I've seen any expressed interest in 'themes' of the story though, so they must be learning.

There are much more interesting questions beyond 'and now Jaune has to be a killer to kill Cinder, one of the most deeply wounded in the story' - say, what does it cost to heal the most deeply wounded? How do you get to her? How do you overcome a situation where you couldn't help? How do you find the real source of the wound - the one leaving blood everywhere - the one pulling you into all of this? What are the odds you're willing to overcome?

I don't know why they wouldn't go to such pains to establish someone who needs help and is the hardest to reach in the story. That's not asking for a killing (that Rhodes tried to do... and failed for a reason). That's not asking to do what Cinder thinks you're going to do anyway so she should get there first.

I don't know why the ultimate task of someone with compassion as a superpower would not be to use that superpower... as his ultimate task... on the hardest possible person.

[rekiroyalstraightprincemaru]

Failure

T/w: self esteem issues, eating disorder, suicide attempt reference, gifted child syndrome, panic attack

AN: Hi! Um, in the middle of a panic attack basically just like his so I decided to write this. I really need to stop projecting on Miya, but he fits so well especially since I’ve decided he probably has “gifted child” problems like me. Trust me, it really fucks you and your mentality about everything up. It’s nice for awhile... until you start to break. And then you’re in for a whirlwind of pain. Fun times...

. . .

Miya laid in his bed, not having the motivation to so much as pick up his switch. The numbness that had overtaken him had switched without warning, forming into racing thoughts, paralyzed limbs, and static under his skin that vibrated his very bones. 

Another panic attack. He needed to use it. Use that energy and fuel it so he wouldn’t be such a failure, working himself into such a frenzy was one of his go to methods for getting his lazy ass out of bed each morning, after all, but this time he seemed to be shutting down. 

He couldn’t seem to breathe no matter how much he carefully controlled his breath. His entire body hurt even though he was only laying in bed, staring at his ceiling yet nothing at all. And worst yet, he couldn’t seem to move. Every part of him seemed to weigh a hundred pounds. Probably cause he’d eaten some of Joe’s pasta and was going to become so fat and gorged from that quarter of a plate he wouldn’t be able to skate without his board breaking and then rolling down the hill. 

He had to move. He’d wasted enough time tonight, making everyone waste their time on him and probably upsetting Reki even more which would lead him to actually killing himself and everyone would see how it was his fault. He already was to blame for one suicide. If only he’d responded to that message at 2am instead of sleeping. His fault. His fault for being weak enough for exhaustion to over take him. He may have “saved” the other multiple times from doing the deed, he hadn’t that time and the next day he saw on the news the consequences of his actions. His friend’s dead body. All his fault. He may as well be a murderer. He hadn’t been worthy to so much as go to the funeral, even though the other’s parents had begged him to and then invited him over at every opportunity for months. How they’d even come over and thanked him with tears in their eyes for helping their boy so much even if it had ended how it did. Given him a letter, apparently a suicide note addressed to him he still hadn’t opened despite the years passing. 

He wanted to bury his head in a pillow, block it all out and scream, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t scream because he couldn’t breathe or get a single sound out. He couldn’t wake his parents either. They already barely put up with their failure of a kid.

Failure failure failure. Falling asleep in class if he wasn’t careful due to his late nights of little sleep, often getting little more than two hours of interrupted sleep, his phone never on silent by his pillow, just in case something happened again. 

Failure. Always hiding away in video games. Wasting his mind and health according to his parents. Just a little brat growing into a disappointing teenager. Always snapping back and sneaking behind his parent’s backs. He needed to be more grateful and obedient. They put up with him, paid for his skating even if they did keep all his money he earned for safe keeping. But he couldn’t miss how their lifestyle had changed since he’d started winning more and more. Nothing for him of course, they didn’t owe him anything, but just the little things that he always took note of. The new designer clothes they got, the fancy date dinner leftovers in the fridge, their hotel reservations which cost astonishing costs. 

Failure. He couldn’t even move despite the energy making his veins vibrate and pulse beneath his skin. Lazy. So so lazy. If this kept up, he wouldn’t move for hours. These episodes would sometimes last for an entire day, the constant anxiety and sheer panic eating away at him as he used it to go further, achieve more. 

Except now he couldn’t even be proud of his little ways of pushing himself forward, the sickness owning him now after he’d shown it just how weak he was. He should own it as he always did. Own the anxiety and panic, own his self disgust, own his depressing yet realistic thoughts, own his inability to eat, own his ability to purge, own what should be shackles for the others because he was better. He was better than everyone because he had to be.

If he was told to darken the sun, he should be able to. If he was told to find a way to get to the center of the earth itself, he was a failure and less than trash if he didn’t. People didn’t get him because he was better than all of them. He was destined to do it all because he was Miya Chinen. The gifted child grades ahead of his peers. Miya Chinen. The child protégé of the skating world. 

But what was he doing, laying in his bed and sulking, letting the darkness in him chain him down? Pathetic. For even this he should be ground into the dust like he’d done to others and forgotten about unless to be insulted for the failure and waste he’d become. 

Pathetic. He’d have to work at least four times harder for a months just to make up for whatever this was. Purge whenever he ate, which he shouldn’t. He’d have to restrict himself to less than 300 calories a day. He’d have to get perfect grades in every subject. He’d have to become leagues better at skateboarding so he would become the skating champion of Japan. All because of this sickening moment of pure weakness he was in.

Maybe he really was just another slime.

[thechekhov]

So glad you decided to play Undertale! I think it would really suit you so I’m so happy you got into it! Could I have your thoughts about the game? I would LOVE to hear them. I’m ALL for long essays and rants, that’s my jam, but even just a small review from you would make me ecstatic!

Alright alright alright alright. 

I am ecstatic that someone asked because I have a lot to say AS ALWAYS. 

I’m gonna try to keep this readable, I swear. Will add pictures in between to keep things interesting. 

However, due to the length this will SURELY achieve, AND due to spoilers (and yes, laugh at me all you want, the game has been out for 5 years) I’ll put this under a cut. Read at your own (f)risk.

Metagaming - the game plays YOU

When I first started Undertale, I ‘knew’ these things:

there’s a stabby one with a knife, their name is chara

there’s a flower everyone hates

something something sans something something

and the last, and perhaps most important thing

you can spare your enemies to avoid killing them

The thing is. The THING IS. 

I did not realize how pervasive this strategy was. My thought at first was ‘okay, so I don’t have to kill EVERYONE.’

I had no idea that the reality was that I didn’t have to kill anyone.

I’m sure many others have already said this, but Undertale kind of changes the way you think about other games. It forces to you examine simply fighting your way through the RPG by introducing completely non-murder-y ways to resolve issues. This conversation-based combat style is not the first of its kind, I’m sure, but it’s also incredibly well done. It ties into the story, it ties into your decisions.

It ties into your decisions SO MUCH that it changes everything else in the outcome.

Undertale is a game well known for breaking the 4th wall. However, it does so in a strangely eerie, heart-wrenchingly real way. It teaches us that there are other solutions to conflicts - and it really... it really TEACHES us, you know?

Which is funny because to be honest, it took me a while to get the lesson.

(You may already be fully aware of this but yes, my first True Neutral Route was extremely organic. I legitimately had no idea that there was even more than one ending. I was just stumbling about er... killing. Out of habit.)

The beauty of this is that the game drives home that point even more effectively because I was fully unaware of my own bias. I had assumed that some enemies would require killing - DESPITE TORIEL SPECIFICALLY TELLING ME TO TALK TO THEM, and the entire Ruins tutorial being about Mercy. I killed the Dummy on accident (granted, it was due to me pressing the key too fast a few times) and didn’t think much of Toriel’s disapproval. I killed a few monsters because I saw my level was low and decided to automatically grind a little bit. 

By the time I got to Toriel, I was still not comfortable with the mechanic. I knew I could Spare her somehow - after all, she was a kind monster, and clearly an important character - but the Spare option didn’t yield promising results the first few times I chose it. I ran out of patience and decided that maybe... maybe it was like pokemon! 

Maybe I had to get her health down to a certain level before she would allow me to pass through.

Funny thing though.... you know what happens if you attack Toriel one too many times? Even if she has most of her health left? 

Yeah uh... it activates that one-hit-KO thing from No Mercy Route.

So of course, what happened? I hit her one too many times... and killed her! And of course, immediately panicked and reset. 

I got back to my previous save, Spared Toriel PROPERLY this time, and walked out of the ruins only to be confronted with my own reliance on the magical ‘redo’ button which was... apparently... not that magical.

Because it WASN’T a clean redo. Flowey apparently remembered. 

The idea that the game would KNOW about my previous attempts beyond the save file snapped me out of my casual Undertale playthrough. I realized that something was up - this game was not going to be like the others.

I think it was from this point on that I tried to be more careful, but again - I still hadn’t quite gotten the memo about not killing. I took down a few monsters around Snowdin. And when I got to Papyrus, I grew frustrated about not being able to beat him (I ended up losing several times and coming back to try again) and went off to grind SOME MORE because I figured that could raise my HP and increase my chances of holding off long enough to Spare him. 

(The incredible thing about this game is that actually, raising your level gives you only a slight advantage. You can be level 1 and carrying no items, and as long as you’re relatively proficient at dodging the bullet hell style projectiles you will have no issues.) 

Anyway, the point is that I realized I could spare the big monsters and did so readily - but I didn’t bother to spare many of the smaller ones. 

I figured it didn’t matter. 

And then I successfully evaded Undyne, gave her a cup of water, etc... and then went to her house to meet Papyrus, fully expecting her to befriend me anyway. 

And you know what happened?

“She said she won’t hang out with a murderer.“

I think that probably hit me the hardest at that point in the game. 

I had a bit ‘....oh’ moment at that point because I realized that the game would punish me for killing even the ‘not-important’ civilians of the Underground. It wasn’t about just sparing the ‘boss monsters’. My actions had consequences beyond just the ‘elite’ characters that we all tend to focus on.

Because yes, it made sense. It wasn’t about just Undyne - why WOULD she randomly be my friend after I killed tons of living beings?

From there on, I spared everyone, but didn’t reset. I decided to see how it would unravel.

The thing I want to talk about, which is a little difficult, is that...

It took me that long to learn that kindness was the answer. And that, in itself, ends up being a metaphor. 

It’s difficult to be kind if you have not been show how to be.

It’s difficult to change the way you behave (in a game or out of it) if all you know is using other methods.

It was hard enough to spare Toriel before I realized I had to just be very patient and trust that her attacks wouldn’t hit - though at first I thought she would just kill me! 

It was hard to avoid Papyrus’ attacks and I had to die several times before I successfully got through it. 

It was near impossible to fight Undyne because I legitimately had no idea Fleeing was an option. I struggled for ages at her stage, and I had to ask for help to understand what I could do.

And that’s actually honestly very true to life as well.

Being kind takes risk. Being kind takes effort. And sometimes, being kind means asking others HOW to be kind. 

When you choose to be kind, you risk being hurt, and you risk being trapped (Toriel). When you choose to be kind, you need to expand a lot more energy to succeed (Papyrus). When you choose to be kind, you need to sometimes reach out to others to show you how to properly do it (Undyne).

The rest of the playthrough probably went about as you expect. I completed the game, didn’t kill any Boss Monsters, fought to the end and... got that really unsatisfying Neutral Ending which felt strangely bittersweet. 

And of course, after I was done, I was prompted to go back and do a proper Pacifist Run. Which I did. I learned about the background of Determination, about Chara and Asriel... and about how everything came to be the way it was.

The thing that gets me the most about this game is how it serves as a direct parallel to how we use videogames. In fact, Undertale is a videogame... about videogames. 

Chara appears to be a direct metaphor for the people that use videogames to escape - to cope with whatever happened to them in The Overworld. Bad family life, or bad relationships or whatever we suffer - escapism through games is not, in itself, a new theme. 

Chara arrived in Undertale by dropping themself down a hole in the mountain, perhaps even seeking to end their life. They dropped into a world which offered them comfort and companionship, a new family and a new life - but in the end, their nature was destructive because their means to finding a solution inadvertently used other people as fodder. Asgore, Asriel - they used everyone else to complete their plans. It wasn’t about forming connections - it was about Completing the Quest. 

I wonder - did Chara even HAVE access to a MERCY option? 

Was their world one without the option of sparing someone? Did they only have the choice of acting - and was Mercy in the hands of whoever attacked them? I wonder how difficult it might have been for them. I wonder how that, in itself, shaped their perception of the world. 

I wonder if that’s why, during the No Mercy run, people recognize you as Chara? If they come back and attach themselves to your resonating DETERMINATION?

If this is true, was MERCY perhaps created later, brought into existence once Asriel himself made the choice to NOT fight, to turn back and flee, even after being attacked by humans in the Overworld? 

(It would be a nice parallel to Asgore DESTROYING the Mercy option when you enter the fight with him...)

...

In the end, I think Undertale is about many things, including video games. 

But it’s also hurting - and being hurt. 

It’s about how trauma can shape us, how we deal with feeling grief, and loss, and depression - and not being able to feel anything.

It’s about how we focus on goals and use DETERMINATION to keep going - even when whatever it is that’s driving us no longer has any SOUL. 

It’s about how our action have consequences, but they also carry the weight of a choice, and how powerful those choices are, and how powerless we feel when we aren’t given a choice - not to fight back, nor show mercy. 

I think that’s probably the reason this game resonated with so many people. It really brings something we love about videogames to the forefront - that ability to fight back, to have full and total control of our own lives...

And it also shows us how having that endless loop of repetitive grinding and fighting with zero consequences can lead to an incredible hollowness and make us numb to how we interact with real-life people. 

Anyway. 

Good game. 

[nitw]

Can you explain what you mean with misinterpreting Chara? I've always been confused about that character and you seem to have a pretty solid read you alluded to in that post about Snowgrave.

of course!!! as your local chara defender since the ripe age of 13 i hope you don't mind me doing a small essay on this. please bear with me tho because i sometimes can't articulate my thoughts well on stories that deal with philosophical themes ;;

UHHH SPOILERS FOR UNDERTALE AND DELTARUNE CHAPTER 2 BELOW

first let me make a few things clear so i don't have to repeat myself a bunch:

only tobias radiation fox himself has The Word of God privilege when it comes to things that haven't been explicitly confirmed in the games yet, EVEN if they're strongly hinted at. don't take anything i say about the plot as more than firm personal interpretation based on the info we have right now!

i cannot stress this one enough: undertale is a game that was never meant to be experienced from a singular perspective/mindset. the genocide route doesn't JUST exist for the sake of "enjoy your personalized edgy fuck-you run for being a serial killer in a video game", every one of the total 93 endings (look it up) in this game exists to reflect the player who achieved it in one way or another. the genocide route is really no different from any of the others, because in the end, no matter what, the player who decided to go through with the things they did will ALWAYS be rewarded for it. the question the player will have to ask THEMSELF afterwards is "is this what i wanted?"

OK MOVING ON-

let's think back to the little but vital amount of info we have on who chara actually was, like, as a person. we know pretty much all of this due to 1) the tapes in the royal lab 2) asriel's additional dialogue at the end of true pacifist.

while we'll never really know why frisk fell into the underground, asriel tells us explicitly about chara's hatred for humanity, and how they jumped from mt. ebott for "not a very happy reason"; supposedly a suicide attempt. chara "never talked about why", it's left intentionally vague because their reasoning isn't really what matters. what DOES matter is how this is relevant to the genocide run, ESPECIALLY with the new obvious parallels in deltarune's snowgrave route. i'll get to that.

when you finish the genocide route, chara will talk directly to the player in person. they talk about your (you AND chara's) success, despite "their plan (having) failed". this "plan" is one they secretly made with asriel when they were both still alive, as revealed from the tapes. chara got terminally poisoned from eating buttercups (whether this was fully intentional or not is still kiiinda up for debate), and while on their deathbed, asriel says that he doesn't like the plan anymore. yet despite his fear, he still fused his soul to chara's when they died.

the actual plan here was to become a monster powerful enough to slaughter humanity, specifically chara's home village by their own dying request - this all ties into their mysterious spite and hatred mentioned before. but due to asriel's resistance against chara, their fused body was killed by the humans - which eventually led to the creation of flowey, and asriel's inner demons after death.

but back to the genocide route. during chara's monologue to the player, they give us a LOT of important exposition. basically:

at the very start of the game, frisk's own determination is literally what brought chara's soul 'back to life'. we know how human and monster souls are different and how "determination" in this universe is something only humans possess, so it makes sense why it awakened them. i won't get into the whole narrator theory because i feel like it's not that relevant to my point (it's fun tho), but chara is always present from the moment frisk falls down, and stays regardless of the player's actions.

if you managed to finish undertale at all you'll already kinda know this (thanks sans), but the EXP and LV you (can) gain throughout your journey aren't just numbers on your screen - they're genuine in-universe manifestations of power that increase when you kill someone. and in genocide, chara explains how they were directly affected every time your stats rose. they could FEEL their spirit growing stronger for every life you decided to take (REMINDER THAT THE GENOCIDE ROUTE CAN BE PERMANENTLY STOPPED AT ANY POINT BEFORE SANS. YOU DID THIS.), so is it really that strange that they felt the desire to grow even stronger?

and once you do reach this point, there's no return. all that excessive time and effort you put into killing off a civilization OBVIOUSLY has some consequences. the consequences HERE being - if you paid attention to chara's life story - you took advantage of a traumatized child who was already at the breaking point and making irrational choices on their own, and you led them to believe that this was what they needed!

this is VERY MUCH SUPPORTED by the snowgrave/weird/pipis/whatever route of deltarune chapter 2 that was discovered about 2 days ago as i'm writing this. i'm gonna go ahead and assume you know what happens in it and i don't care to go into details if you don't, since this post is about chara, but surprise: THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED TO NOELLE, TOO! even in a completely normal run, noelle makes it clear multiple times that she wouldn't mind staying in the dark world; that in spite of how scary and dangerous it seems at times (something something horror movies), she started to feel at home. POSSIBLY even more so than her ACTUAL HOME, with her dying dad and negligent mom. like chara, noelle is a young person with low self esteem and her fair share of trauma, even if it's not as apparent. and like in the genocide run, the player's desire to ruthlessly kill in order to grow stronger affected her already-poor mental state.

someone else already pointed this out specifically, so don't credit me for it, but the main difference between chara and noelle is that noelle managed to break free in the end.

if you're like Most People Who Played The Genocide Route Back In Like 2016 and you played the genocide route with no further knowledge about it than "i have to follow these specific steps to get a harder fucked up version of the game", i don't blame you. you didn't actually know what you were doing in the end, did you? but did the outcome disappoint you, make sense to you, or did it just leave you with an empty/confused feeling? i love undertale because it WILL force you to think about things like that. i mean, if the result wasn't gonna affect you in SOME way, why would you go through all of that trouble in the first place? you had your reasons, as the player of any video game where you know your choices matter. would you have carried out the entire thing if you knew what was coming? the answer to that is only relevant to yourself.

[saint-starflicker]

Oliver is the narrator and has some unreliability, such as Meredith and Caroline will have very different opinions about how good of a person Oliver is.

I interpret Oliver to also have phenomenal no-homo powers.

I felt his hand on my chest and glanced down. His palm was pressed against my shirt, his fingers splayed across my collarbone. I waited for him to pull me closer or push me away. But he only stared at his hand, like it was something strange he'd never seen before.

Apparently James and Oliver stayed that way until they had to sleep, go to the bathroom, or get hungry, or their feet got tired, or James' arm got tired. Oliver doesn't say. This was after James quotes the window scene in Romeo and Juliet at him, which is a university Master's level of cryptic and inaccessible that Oliver could not possibly begin to decipher without half a dozen peer-reviewed literary articles to cite. (Chortle.)

But anyway, Oliver actually was in prison for at least six years that James met regularly with him...and, Oliver was very convinced from his personal experience that James could not survive incarceration.

Oliver quoted Shakespeare and that kept him going, but for feeling confused about a friend breaking his nose he can stay in the real world and have that conversation. I think James probably quotes Shakespeare for the same motive (to keep him going) but it's notable that he quotes Shakespeare as though the mildest inconvenience is the same as the end of the world—such as the awkward conversation with the friend whose nose he broke. He has to hide behind Romeo and Juliet quotes because "it's easier". James, man, it's not your nose that is broken, your life is objectively not that difficult compared to Oliver's right now, James, boy, you did that you are the one that broke his nose. Maybe James can try for a moment to not think as though his life is so hard, only because there's such an onerous consequence to his action: an awkward conversation. What a Herculean task. Woe is James how ever shall he manage.

So when James says that he'd prefer it if Oliver told the truth and James did the time then I do not believe James one bit, even knowing that Oliver is an unreliable narrator. James' overused coping mechanism will be filed down faster than a prison bar. James can feel an overcooked pea through a hundred down-feather mattresses. No airbag he dies like the Lady of Shalott from seeing a man he thinks is hot. If only watching somebody sit in prison sometimes drives James off the deep end, then why would being in there be better? No matter how we cut it, James is not emotionally resilient.

In the worst-case scenario, James got six more years. He would not survive six hours in prison.

Best case scenario, James put his melodramatics to good use and faked his death so that he could meet up with Oliver later on and it wouldn't look suspicious. Because I think Oliver only took Joseph Colborne at his word.

can’t stop thinking about how oliver marks went to jail for james, to protect him only to have james farrow absolutely lose his mind over it and die.

[lubdubsworld]

Better Man.

~~~~~~~~~~~~`Just to see you smile, I’d do anything. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taehyung x Oc

Rated 18 +

Post Divorce, Getting Back Together, Second chances, Angst.

Chapter 1    Chapter 2   Chapter 3   Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Do you ever truly know what someone is feeling?

You could spend decades , breathing the same air, hands held , your fingers brushing ....connected physically and even mentally but a person’s emotions, they’re hidden away. 

You only ever know what they’re willing to show .

And yet, 

all of us build relationships, convinced that we know exactly what the other person will feel when we act a certain way. Buying her flowers will make happy....visiting him at work will take away that little bit of stress.

But sometimes, what we think someone feels, may not be what they truly feel.

And that’s when your actions, well intended actions..... end up with disastrous consequences. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So....last night...” Jungkook’s teasing voice did nothing to ease the pounding in my head.

“I do believe you promised not to tease me about it if I drank two glasses of water, which I did by the way.” I told him firmly, trying to bring the words on my planner into focus as i squinted. Three meeting. Each two hours long. 

kill me now. 

“I wanted to ask HR to give you the day off but you have quite a schedule today. “ He said casually,  leaning over me to peer into the planner . I glanced at his wrist resting on the table, the expensive rolex showing that it was a little past 9. 

“ We’re planning out the Christmas campaign first and I have a meeting with Taehyung’s team in the afternoon so we can go over the contract see if they have any requirements and then the social media team in the evening at four to discuss promos and revamping the website.” I glanced up at him. 

He gave me a smile before casually leaning down, lightly gripping my chin and tilting my face up. I felt the brush of his lips against mine, fleeting and gentle. 

‘You’re beautiful.” He smiled. 

I blinked.

And then took a deep breath.

“Your wife...” I said softly. “ I saw her today.” 

Jungkook went completely still at that. 

“She was waiting in the lobby on my way up. I didn’t know who you were married to and I was a little shocked and also little upset because....” I glanced at him. “ She was my best friend in college. “

Jungkook swore. 

“Fuck.. I told her to stay the fuck away from my company. Did she say something to you?” 

i shook my head.

“I didn’t greet her because I wasn’t sure if she remembered me. And I wasn’t sure if i was remembering her right. i didn’t know she was your wife till i heard someone mention it in the elevator on my way up. Did you know that she and i knew each other?” 

Jungkook looked just a little guilty.

“When you first joined the company, she saw your resume on my cvomputer. told me a lot about you. She remembers you. Fondly. She wanted to come meet you but...things happened.  “ He shrugged.

Things like infidelity and divorces . 

“Ahh...” I smiled. “ Tell me i wasn’t another way to get back at your ex wife, Jeon Jungkook ssi...” 

He made a noise of protest.

“no... No of course not Christ...it’s just...I’ll admit she made me curious about you. She spoke of you being spontaneous and fun and wild and I’d seen you as this demure, elegant woman in the office. i was curious. I wanted to know which one was the real you. “

“Were you curious before she cheated....or after?”

“ Jang Mi...this isn’t what it looks like .. I’m done with her. She fucked my best buddy and ruined my fucking life...” He sounded pained. 

I frowned. 

“It’s hard to believe she would do something like that. The Aera i remember had a very strong moral compass.” 

“Yeah well, apparently, you can live whole entire lives with someone and never really know the person. Listen, do we really have to talk about my ex wife?” He asked, eyes shining with discomfort. 

I shrugged.

“I’m not fond of drama. I won’t tangle myself in a relationship that risks hurting a lot of people Jungkook. That’s just not the kind of person I am. I’m sorry.” 

He made a noise of impatience, shaking his head. 

“We won’t be hurting anyone... We have fun together. We like each other. We’re attracted to each other...that’s all that matters....” He said sharply.

“ If we were in our twenties , without kids ....maybe. But that's not how it is now. I have a son, you have a daughter and I think I’m not completely over my marriage yet.” I said softly. 

He froze.

“And i don’t think you’re completely over your wife either.” I smiled.

He glared at me. 

“Ex-wife.” He snarled.

“She makes you feel things, Jungkook. You need to sort that out before you start something new with someone else. I’m only saying this because we’re old enough not to 

He growled and punched the desk. 

“God, how can she keep ruining my life even when she’s out of it.” He muttered, stepping away from me and moving to the door. 

I watched him storm out of my office and bit my lip. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time evening rolled around, I was exhausted. But the day had been productive and I was happy because the contract had been finalized, the theme had been decided and we’d also spent an amazing three hours redesigning the website. Although it wasn’t in my job description I had studied web design in college and the creative department always welcomed my inputs. 

“You’re in a good mood...” Taehyung’s voice was a complete surprise and I turned to him, shocked. He was dressed in a black t shirt and blue jeans and sneakers and looked a whole decade younger. 

I felt affection rise up my throat so fast I nearly choked. 

“What are you doing here?”

“My agent told me you guys were incredibly cooperative today. She also told me you were quite possibly the loveliest woman she’s ever met and that I’m an idiot to have let you go.” He smiled. 

I laughed, shaking my head and my gaze shifted to the small bunch of tiger lilies in his hand. 

I felt warmth bloom in my chest. 

“You remembered.” I said softly, pleased. 

“Thirteen years since our first date.  The lily to my tiger. ” He held the flowers to me and I grinned, pressing the flowers to my chest. 

“Man I feel old.” I muttered.

“You are old.” Tae grinned and i grimaced, before tossing him a glare. . 

“You’re supposed to say I still look as beautiful as i did thirteen years ago.” I said. 

“But you don.t” He grinned impishly. “ You look a billion times  more  beautiful.” 

I felt the atmosphere shift, the air charged with something dangerous and i looked away. Usually, this was when I would laugh and throw my arms around him. Pull him close and press my lips against his , slip my fingers into his t shirt and trace the skin of his back. Feel his hands on my waist as he lifted me up to twirl me around and kiss me just like that. 

How often had we kissed that way? Thirteen years is a long time to count the number of kisses we’d shared. 

We both stayed quiet, looking anywhere but at each other.

“I...there’s a reason I came.” He said finally.

I glanced at him.

“Oh?”

“The lawyer. Ms. Lee she ... recommended a relationship counselor”

I blinked, my breath catching in my throat. 

“Taehyung we’re-”

“Just hear me out. Its not mandatory and it won’t affect the divorce in anyway. its just something the court offers all couples going through a divorce and we’re free to refuse it. “

“Did you?” I asked. 

“Did I what?”

“Refuse it. Did you tell her no?” 

He stared at me. 

“No.” He said finally.

I exhaled sharply.

“Wow.” I whispered, feeling jittery and unbalanced. He sighed and came closer, reaching out to lightly grip my wrists. I let him tug me closer into a hug and held him tight, my heart pounding with anxiety.

“Mia.... I just... I’m not saying we should try to fix this.... relationship.” He said softly, eyes gentle and pleading, “  I just think this whole thing has taken a toll on both of us and maybe we can heal better if we get the help of a professional. Come out of this with closure. Instead of battling guilt and regrets everyday. Just ....it could help us move on. Don’t you think?”

You could never really tell what the other person is feeling. 

I couldn’t tell what Taehyung was feeling right now? 

Hope ?

Hope that we would fix our marriage....

or maybe hope that he would finally move on from me.. Maybe this whole thing was his final attempt to end things with me for good. So he could walk out of my life forever without any lingering guilt or regret. 

I would never know. 

I clung to him harder and somehow the pain of the entire two years we’d been apart, rammed into me at once. 

I choked on a sob. Breathing became difficult and I felt myself gasping for air. 

“Mia?” Taehyung’s panicked voice was the last sane thought that registered. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay? I can stay the night if you want. I’ll sleep in the spare bedroom . ” Taehyung whispered,  seated on the warm fluffy blanket that he’d managed to dig out of the closet in the spare bedroom. i was already tucked into the bed, fingers clutching the satin lined edges . 

i shook my head.

“I know how much you need your gazillion pillows. Go on... I’ll be fine.”

“i feel terrible. i pushed you into a panic attack.”

I waved off the guilty words. 

“You didn’t . i was already a little frayed and i guess i haven’t really been processing all the stuff between us the way i should have. i just got a little overwhelmed.” 

A panic attack. At the age of 32. The last time i had one I was twenty four. I wanted to crawl into the bed and never resurface. 

Taehyung’s gentle fingers , stroking my cheek brought me out of my own head. 

“I was so scared.” He said softly and my heart ached.

“I’m sorry i scared you.” I said apologetically, gripping his wrists lightly and stroking the skin there with my thumb. 

“I really want to stay. i don’t think I’ll be able to sleep if I go home right now.” He whispered. 

I bit my lips. 

“Okay... but... You need to hug something. To sleep. “ 

He grinned at that. 

“I’m old enough to survive one night without a pillow, Mia .” he chuckled. 

I flushed, sinking deeper into the covers.

“Okay.” 

“You don’t have to worry about the counselor thing. I’ll tell Lee we don’t want to do any-”

“No!!” I said quickly, a lot  louder than I’d intended. 

Taehyung blinked.

“I just... I realized that I haven’t been dealing with any of this...the right way. I’m so confused and disoriented all the time and I .. I don’t mind getting some help. To sort things out. Just for myself you know...without the pressure of trying to fix...well us.” I finished .

Taehyung gave me a wide smile before bending down and kissing my forehead.

“ Okay, Mia mine. Sleep well, and I’ll see you in the morning.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

[nightferns]

How c!Ranboo's attitude towards c!Wilbur lines up with everything he's been told | a quote list

All /rp of course

So on Tubbo's last lore stream (my new purpose) Ranboo said this:

"-thats why im here so when he does something that does redeem himself then someone can be there that will be able to see it and everything, and honestly i'd rather have it be me the person, rather have the person that be there be me instead of maybe someone else[...]"

And then this, when asked why he didn't tell Wilbur about marriage:

"[...]From what i've heard from Tommy and everything the Wilbur that 13 years ago- at least might've- he used stuff against Tommy and everything so just in case- "

And it made me wonder what exactly lead him to that opinion so i spent a day ghathering quotes in which Ranboo heard/or was told something about Wilbur, before the revival. Its a bit of a long one so strap in.

Convos about Alivebur that Ranboo either listened to or was a part of, pre-meeting him.

Vod: Tubbo and Tommyinnit Start To Break Apart…

TommyVods

Tommy [talking about Techno]: -Wilbur died in action, so he doesn't- so he didn't live long enough to face the consequences, but that guy he is a fucking bitch.

Ranboo: So he was fighting with you and then he decided to go against you.

Tommy: yeah. He decided that the last minute "Hey! Hey what im gonna do is fuck everyone over."

Ranboo: Oh… so he was sort of a vigilante of sorts? His own-

 [...]

Tommy: sit down [on the bench]…  fuck. I just want back the discs, that's all- thats all I've wanted everytime im sat on this bench, that's all we've wanted.

Ranboo: Yeah, I can tell... You seem pretty adamant about those.

Tommy: Yeah! It's because-! Literally bro- since the- four months! [...] four months ago is when I first started trying to get these discs! And it was just me, Tubbo- there was no Technoblade on this server! There were like 6 people- and it was just me and tub- there was no nation there was no- it's always been about getting back the shit dream stole from this very chest!

So now Tubbo's gotten this position of power and is doing it- it's dis- it's disappointing.

B-but thank you, for sticking up for me, no one did that, you saw big Q fucking turning on me- you saw Fundy- they're-  they're just sheep bro, they're just sheep. Thank you

Ranboo: Well, you stuck up for me when you could've easily pinned it on me. You could've just said "oh, he was the one that did it", because- i mean, my name was being said in there too, but then you just decided to take all of it and now we're in this situation.

So I couldn't just let that happen, I couldn't stand by, have Tubbo call you selfish when you did something- the opposite.

Tommy: Thank you-

If they evict me through- that is it he-

Ranboo: yeah.

Tommy: -dude, you know i'm worried- i- i don't want to, i know there's that one line that we- that rings through my head as i sleep l of Wilbur going "Tommy, let's be the bad guys." But I wanna- i don't wanna be the bad guys. I just want-

Ranboo: I don't think that's- that's not a good thing to do.

Tommy: The reason- do I say this now? Yeah-  The reason I didn't make Tubbo the leader, when I had- and I could've chose anyone, and I chose Wilbur, the man who was already half-insane but I knew he was coming back around, and I didn't choose Tubbo.

Is because i knew that if tubbo was the president,

it would pull us apart Ranboo, and look at him he's picking his nation over me. And i- and if he does on Friday I don't know what I'm gonna do with myself.

Ranboo: No matter what happens on friday i'll help you. I'll-I'll figure it out- I'll try to talk to Tubbo, i'll try to see if something better can happen.

.

Vod: *Archive* Mar 6, 2021

Philza

Phil: [places down a picture of Wilbur] my son.

Ranboo: Oh. There he is.

Phil: I wanna put his picture in the-in the meeting room, cruz i want to be reminded, i miss him, it's lik- he's been gone a long time.

Ranboo: He has. He really has. He's been gone, before I even came here.

Phil: He did some dumb shit y'know. And my hand was forced, in a sense, but I miss him everyday, I do miss him.

Ranboo: Oh, yeah i heard about that

Phil: I do wish he'd come back.

Ranboo: Yeah, Well… well I mean, wasn't he a ghost for a little bit?

Phil: Yeah, but that wasn't really him-

Ranboo: Oh.

Phil: That was- That was like the pure kind of innocent version of him if that was to exist I think, he was very kind of uhm- it was just not him though, it was just not him. So it was kind of like talking to a doll of like- someone.

Ranboo: I mean- I mean it's the most you're able to get at least. Like-

Phil: Yeah…

[...]

Phil: -sad, miss child, miss, maybe i shouldn't have stabbed him but you know.

Ranboo: Yeah, well i mean- yeah.

Phil: I Bet if- i bet if- if i was to talk to him again he' would- he would probably forgive me, he- he definitely was at the end of his rope and i dunno maybe he'd think of it differently.

Ranboo: I mean, it was his wishes, I mean he wouldn't- it was his wishes, it wasn't- like- he wouldn't- he wouldn't not forgive you for following what he asked you to do.

Phil: Yeah. I dunno.

Ranboo: But- one day hopefully-

Phil: Can't help but think if i did the right thing or not sometimes.

Ranboo: I mean, when you think about what he would have done if you hadn't, you know?

Phil: Yeah, he was out of control.

Ranboo: Like if you- if you hadn't like- would anything- would anything have changed?

Phil: I dunno, I kinda showed up at the most chaotic time possible and yeah it was just- didn't really have a lot of time to process things. It was like "Hey I should probably stop him from blowing up this place" that I had no real knowledge of other than that he helped build it. That's all I heard. I got- i got like letters from him just like telling me what he'd been up to and stuff, and that he was having fun with this friends and then the letters stopped, and i got worried so i started to like- 

Ranboo: mhm.

Phil: -make my way over to this area.

Ranboo: Yeah.

Phil: And I was right to worry, apparently.

Ranboo: I mean, I don't know, I think- I mean, I think there's really- there's really nothing you can do about it now, you know? There's- it's really like- you can- you can try and get closure but I mean, the ghost- Ghostbur is missing in action and he has been for a little while, and...

Phil: Yeah, whenever I talked to Ghostbur I didn't really feel like I was talking to him though, like it wasnt really- It was him but it wasn't him, like-

Ranboo: Yeah.

Phil: It's hard to explain.

Ranboo, I mean you just- i- i think you did the right thing even though its not- it wasn't the optimal thing, you know? I mean, was it the best solution? Probably not, but it was still a solution so.. I'd say you still did a good thing even though in your eyes it's probably not good, but what else were you gonna- what else were we gonna do?

Phil: Yeah, true.

Ranboo: yeah.

.

Vod: Tommy's Plan to Kill Dream

TommyVods

Tommy: Tubbo, I died. I spoke to Schlatt, I spoke to Wilbur, Wilbur Soot, alright?

Tubbo: Has Schlatt changed his ways? Or is he still smoking and drinking-

Tommy: Tubbo, they've been in there for so long, and so many years, alright?

Tubbo: Years? They've only died months ago-

Tommy: Tubbo, I was in that prison for about… month and five days, alright. Time in death though? I was here for months and months and months! Time's different when you d- Don't tell anyone this- Time's different when you die.

Tubbo: So you're older, now curz-

Tommy: I don't, I don't know! [...]

.

Tommy: -But Listen to me! I've seen everything! I know so much more than you now, I've been with the dead and I know so much more! So much more I'm not willing to explain. But listen to me we need to kill him, before it's too late-

[...]

.

Tubbo: Why is it different now? Why are we killing him- why didn't we just kill him to begin with, when we had the chance? Why did you put it off?

Tommy: Because Tubbo i thought he would use the revive book for go- ok, this is what he said to me he said he will only use the revivebook to revive Wilbur, and he said that that when he gets out out of the he's gonna hurt, not just you, but everyone i care for, he's gonna hurt everyone. So please we need to kill him.

[...]

Tubbo: So why don't you want him to bring Wilbur back now? What suddenly changed? 

Tommy: I've spent months in the death area- well- let's call it the death zone, with Wilbur, right.

Tubbo: the death zone? Like limbo-

Tommy: I've spent months there, I've spent months and months and months there and I was only there for a few days, Wilbur's been there for real months, he is so different and he is powerful and you know how he molds me like a piece of clay Tubbo. I don't want him to come back, we can't let him come back, and Dream said to me that he'll revive Wilbur.[...]

.

Tommy: No, i spoke to you, not Ghostbur, i spoke to you

Ghostbur: But i am Ghostbur

Tommy: I spoke to Wilbur,

Ghostbur: You don't wanna talk to him.

Tommy: I know, I never wanna talk to him again.

Ghostbur: He's not very nice, he's not a nice guy.

Tommy: Acu- Ghostbur i've got a question for you, do you want him to come back?

Because i- i don't, i don't think i do ever ever.

Ghostbur: He's a- i- uhm.. t-the world needs- needs structure and order and he he's good at that, he did that but- i-

Tommy: No, the world needs less villains, and he was a villain if I've ever seen one.

Ghostbur: But a villain is just a- sometimes the line's a little blurry, you could say, a little blurry it's a tiny bit, it's like a villain- a villain is just a hero you haven't convinced yet.

Tubbo: I'm not sure I follow you.

Tommy: No, but he started as hero, he started as a hero and then he was the villain.

Ghostbur: Well-

Tommy: I don't think we should bring him back ever. 

Ghostbur: Oh…

Tommy: I think you should-  you like being a ghost don't you? Hey! Look bl- Red! You can stand on the red! [...]

.

Ghostbur: Yeah,i- i- i like it here but  we were talking about this and i thought we wanted to bring back Wilbur, because he understood-

Tommy: No-

Ghostbur: -because, because L'manburg got blown up-

Tommy: No! No no no no, We don't want to bring back Wilbur, i've spent months with Wilbur, wh-when you die times different Ghostbur, i know i can speak to you 'cause you don- you keep secrets, times different, alright? i've spent so long with Wilbur,

Ghostbur: How- how long?

Tommy: Months and months and months alright? And if i was here for months, he's been there for years, possibly decades, he can't come back.

This isnt a-

Ghostbur: How- how- so what's the corversion? What's the- how long-

 Tommy: What's the conversion rate?-

Ghostbur: yeah, what's the-

Tommy: -God, you sound like a fuckin' bitcoin miner.

Ghostbur: -If time's different in the- in the- in the dead land then what's the- what do you call it? Limbo- if time is different in limbo then what's- what's- what's the difference?

Tommy: I don't really know. But I was there, apparently, I was dead, according to the Dream but he does lie, I was dead for- for 3 days. And i was there for-

Ghostbur: And how long, how long was that in months?

Tommy: I don't know, i can- i can say  months and months, i- i'd- i'd say between three to seven?

Ghostbur: Okey.

Tommy: So the middle, four point five.

Ghostbur: -So Wilbur's been dead for ten to twelve years.

Tommy: And there's a lot to learn when you're dead, innit?

Ghostbur: What did you learn? I've just forgotten things.

Tommy: Oh I learned about bad shit.

Ghostbur: Yeah?

Tommy: Do you know what Wilbur did? He very slowly and excruciatingly, over an entire month, explained to me what hemorrhoids was and it hurt me so much.

And then he'd go on about all the books he has been reading. It was terrible, it was the wor-

Tubbo: Did you see each other? Or were you just-

Tommy: Oh, Don't make me talk about it! Don't make me talk about it! Oh, it was- it was the worst!

.

Ghostbur: Tommy why didn't you want Wilbur back?

Tommy: Well… I spent a long long time speaking to Wilbur in- when I was dead. And i- and when I wanted to bring him back I thought he- I thought there was still some brotherness there, I thought maybe he's still my pal. And I found out he's not- he's only grown worse.

Ghostbur: He spent a lot of time around a bad guy, he spent, like a decade you said, around- around Schlatt and Schlatt's the bad- Schlatt's the bad guy right?

Tommy: I don't think Schlatt's the only bad guy.

Ghostbur: He's a bad guy right? Him and Eret are the bad guys right? That's the- that's the-

Tubbo: Yes, more or less.

Ghostbur: That's what you told me.

Ranboo: And Dream of course.

Tommy: There's a lot more bad guys.

[...]

.

Vod: Ranboo prepares with tommyinnit to take down dream on the dream smp full stream (VOD)

Ranboo Vods

Ranboo: [About Dream] He's trapped in there and we thought he was powerless but even in there he still has power that's why we're killing him actually. Its because-

Ghostbur: What's the worst he could do with the power?

Ranboo: He could bring back the people that are- well, technically the villains in this story, and then get out. And then start to do what he did before he got into prison, just again, and probably worse honestly!

Ghostbur: He's gonna bring back Schlatt?

Ranboo: He can bring back anyone that's died.

[...]

Ghostbur: Also- um, so are we- are we not bringing back Wilbur anymore? Is that… off the table? 'Cause Phil and Technoblade and- and- and people are still keen- and Eret is keen to bring back Wilbur. And i- i'm- Ranboo i gotta tell you i'm really scared. I- i'm not scared of Wilbur i think.

Ranboo: Yeah.

Ghostbur: I'm scared of going back to.. nothing. I- I'll be gone again. I dont- I- i kinda like being here and i like all my friends and i don't...

Ranboo: Yeah. See it's different with me because I never knew Wilbur, i never met Wilbur. I've only met, well you… so...

Ghostbur: I- I think im pretty- I like to think im pretty neat.

Ranboo: Yeah i think you're pretty neat too. I don't- i don't think-

Ghostbur: Yus!

Ranboo: I mean, Honestly i'd- i never knew Wilbur, i never met him but I mean,  what i've been told, he seemed like he had good intentions and- and i mean, i think that's kinda what you are, you are his good intentions.

Ghostbur: In a pint sized glass.

Ranboo: yeah.

Ghostbur: in a little package, little package.

Ranboo: yeah!

Ghostbur: I've read his memoirs Ranboo, i've read- they are all gone now they were blown up when my library was destroyed, so many really important pieces of history were blown up when that library was destroyed.

Ranboo: Definitely yeah.

Ghostbur: But I have- i read his memoirs and he- he was- he was pretty ok! Most of the time, he seemed like he was- people liked him but then- then- then he lost this election and- and- and you know the story, everyone knows the story. 

Ranboo: yeah, yeah.

Ghostbur: But i just- i- from seeing how much everything went down and how Tubbo was- was really badly you know? Scared with- by- by- you know? the explosion and things which- thinking about it that's- maybe was Technoblade's fault and Phil's fault, but um, because of all this now more than ever it's really important that we have a leader and that's why i was on the side on bringing him back

and if- if things have changed, if you tell me i'll go along with whatever you say if- if you think Ghostbur sticks around, i'll stick around but if you think Wilbur- Wilbur sticks around i'll- i'll do whatever it takes to help you! I just- I just wanna help! I just wanna help Ranboo!

Ranboo: yeah, im-

Ghostbur: -And i can see it in you that you know what's best.

Ranboo: The thing is i- i really don't. i mean, Ha- Wilbur... he seemed good, when you read anyone's memoirs it helps them… kinda rationalize the way that they think so- i honestly don't know, because-

Ghostbur: History is written by the winners.

Ranboo: Yeah and he, he technically won, I mean he did what he wanted to.

Ghostbur: but then he lost and everyone hates him.

Ranboo: I don't- i don't think everyone hates him. I don't really hate him. I mean, it's like hearing about a historical figure. I mean he did good things yeah, but he also did bad things so. I- i'm indifferent as i am with a lot of things.

Ghostbur: I'm sure- i'm sure that you'll figure it out

[...]

.

Ranboo: I haven't even heard of Wilbur honestly, i- i've barely heard of Wilbur, i mean, Tubbo really has not told me much about Wilbur other than i mean, he's the one who blew up Manburg the first time. 

But i like Ghostbur i mean, i like- i like Ghostbur i'd say a lot more, because Ghostbur seems nice, i don't think that anything is going wrong right now, i mean if we- if we kill dream then… then uh- ' cause we don't need a leader. 

I really don't know... I really don't know, I don't think we need a leader, because if- if someone rules everyone then- i mean if the leader becomes corrupted, when the leader becomes corrupted then we see what happens. We- we see what happens when someone who leads becomes corrupted, heck i'm a part of an anarchist organization So… I really just don't know what to do.

Because I mean, Tommy doesn't want Wilbur back.

I don't think anyone wants Wilbur back, so why is it even a question?

All I do know is that we definitely have to kill Dream, right? We definitely have to kill Dream. I mean, we gotta- we gotta kill Dream.

I mean, i don't even know if anyone wants him back, i mean, the only person that i would think would be Phil, right? The only person that I'd think would be Phil, so… but Phil's ok now, he's doing alright, shure he's sad now, but I think he'll be good, yeah I think we'll be able to kill Dream and everything will be good!

I mean, if we kill Dream, Wilbur isn't coming back, we won't have to worry about much- we'll still have to worry about things but not on the scale Dream was doing right? Right? [...]

[...] So if everyone's ok without him, I mean, everyone's ok already… right? Everyone's- Everyone's good, I mean, I like Ghostbur, I think that Ghostbur is awesome. I don't know-[...]

.

Ranboo: Oh my goodness. Yeah see, i like Ghostbur a lot more, i like Ghostbur a lot more.

.

Vod: Wilbur's Revival Dream SMP

TommyVods

Tommy: No you don't understand, It's not that he's dead it's that Wilbur's back.

Tubbo: What?

Ranboo: What do you mean Wilbur's back? No, you mean Like- Wilbur? Like-

Tommy: Let's go-

Ranboo: "Press button and blow up" Wilbur, that one?

.

Tommy: No, no ok, listen to me, Did you think I liked Wilbur? Is that what you think this is about Ranboo? Why are you being so unempathetic?

Ranboo: I don't know what you mean! Like-

Tommy: Wilbur is back, Ranboo! Ghostbur is dead!

Ranboo: Yeah-

Tommy: No, no there's only one way to know.

Ranboo: What do you mean? Like- like THE Wilbur? The one that- like your friend?

Tommy: We are not fucking friends, Ranboo.

Ranboo: Wilbur wasn't-? I mean, I knew he did some bad stuff but I thought he was at least kind of your friend. 

Tommy: No, Wilbur was nothing.

Ever since i died Ranboo, we- i spent so long with Wilbur-

Ranboo: Yeah?

Tommy: -and i thought he changed, every time i thought he changed, but Ranboo he never changes, Wilbur never changes… and now he's back.

.

Ranboo: May- Maybe- Maybe he's different you know? I mean, he's been spending a lot of time in the afterlife-

Tubbo: Yeah, he's been dead for a while,

Ranboo: -he probably might be different, you know?

Tommy: He's not different Ranboo, i've been there Ranboo, and he's so much fucking worse. When we go up to him, you two just stand back-[...]

.

[just2bubbly]

Sometimes Love Stays

Masterlist

TLC Ship Week 2021!

*written for tlcshipweek2021- kaider for the prompt 'In another life'

@kaiderforever

Summary

"Hmm.."

"Do you?"

"Wish you happiness? Yeah, Kai, I do- with all my heart."

"I wish you were happiness!"

Sometimes love becomes stronger overcoming the obstacles thrown along your path, but when the obstacles never end and you become tired enough to want to stop, will 'Love' help overcome the new problem or would it be succumbed to obstacle?

When their future doesn't play out as they want to, will they dare to take a chance or lose everything without trying?

Reading an article, Cinder is thrown back into the past, trying to figure out if the choices she made were right.

A look at Kai and Cinder's relationship through newspaper article fragments.

--

Ship: Kaider

Words: 3.2k

Genre: Angst

Prompt: 'In Another Life'

Note: A Canon Divergence AU from Winter- major character/ relationship reflection. Bold contexts are newspaper articles!

Cinder's Perspective:

"Sometimes love stays."

The article read and Cinder could not bring it upon herself to understand the implications of those three words. She considered it was the most preposterous sentence to start a piece of news informing about a break-up. Her mind could only fathom that a hopeless romantic had written this article, one who most certainly believed in unrequited love and stuff- That she could be sure from the very first line. "Many times love seems to not reside in a relationship as the lovers struggle to continue to live together after years of togetherness, but this does not appear to be the case in the infamous royal courtship that lasted for over 10 years but was suddenly called off 2 years ago- Yes, we are talking about no one but The Emperor of Eastern Commonwealth and The Queen of Luna- " Cinder seemed to convince herself that she was only reading it because it was the most trending news on Earth. Yet it was no new news to her or even anyone on Earth and the saint forsaken rock Luna as well. The article had become famous only for its illustrating language and artistic words that seemed to give the entire ordeal a new look. Hence, after having ignored, overlooked and unseen the article, its rumours and the stink eye that her aristocrats sent along her way. She finally decided to read it and fucking get over it- just like she got over him. It was fucking simple until it was not. "The infamous break-up of The Emperor of EC and the Queen of Luna happens to be no news to us. It has been two years since the two royals called off their relationship in the name of diplomatic and personal reasons. However, it appears that the years apart have done no good to their awkward and unresolved heartfelt tension." She wondered which newbie journalist had decided to write about this- about them, the two lovers madly in love with each other, stubborn enough to put others above themselves and naive enough to let it all go. She could feel her body going stiff as she tried to muster up the courage to continue reading. Her mind going numb just like it always did when thoughts of Kai resurfaced. The memories and the murmurs, their banters, his adoration all seemed to drown her with misery- one where she could not shed a single tear but only carry the overwhelming weight of the past of what they had- of what they had lost. It had been good- going at first with the frequent comms in their free time, flying kisses from literally two different worlds, exchanging gifts thanks to the Rampion, jumping at the first chance to meet each other. They were happy and yet they were not. With near to 10 years into being the Queen of Luna, she had thought that maybe she had given her bit to the moon, and now she could step down from her role and convert Luna into a republican state. She had planned her future, their future, the future of thousands of people and had acted accordingly to liberate Luna from the clutches of a single person, forgetting about what the people would have to say about it? Apparently, Lunars loved royalty more than equal representation! Consequently, when she had put the matters of 'abolition of monarchy' to vote she had been made a fool in her own court with the outcome - her vote against all of them. When she had demanded an explanation out of Iko for such a bizarre scenario. She had acknowledged, "They seem to like you as their Queen. It is clear they don't want you to step down!?" "But what about equal representation?" "Cinder you are already giving it to them!" "And what about the aristocrats- Don't they want more say in the administration?" "They do want it but not with the responsibility. Thus they have started preaching about royalty and stuff..." she trailed. Dumbstruck, she had thought how can one gift someone freedom when they don't want it? That's where things started looking down. This made all her plans go downhill. Because hadn't she planned that she would step down, abolish the monarchy and turn it into a Republican government? Hadn't she decided she would be free to live her own life on Earth?

Hadn't she wondered how she would travel with Thorne on Rampion- be truly free for once in her life before having to settle down? Before having to go to New Beijing.

Hadn't they planned that they would stay together- and with every passing day weren't they coming near to achieving their intention to constantly stay together and make up for all the physical affection they had been deprived of over the years? Wasn't it what their future was going to be off? With this new hurdle, plans had to be changed and when she had mentioned this to Kai, he was grief-stricken. Even then, they came up with alternatives, for at that time it was clear- they wanted to spend the rest of their together. They had discussed spending their time between Earth and Luna, tackling the barriers of distance and royalty. It's not like they did not try, it's just that every time they strived harder to stay together- fate made it impossible to. A year later, the realization dawned upon her. It had really taken a long time but it had finally crashed- the full reality of their long-distance engagement relationship, that maybe it was taking a toll on them. That maybe they would not survive through all the distance separating them. She had been avoiding thinking about it lately but she knew even if they tried it was not going to work out, that sooner or later they would have to call it off. 'Call what off?' She had asked herself, wondering how things were going to change. 'All of it' a tiny voice in her mind replied. The engagement, the relationship. Everything. That night she decided against comming Kai, instead, she confronted Iko speaking of her troubling thoughts aloud and from the dark blue, somewhat grey colours of her eyes, Cinder understood how truly sorry she was.

She sat in the arms of Iko, wanting to whine, yell and cry. However, the cruel fate left her with a throbbing sensation in her head and an itchy feeling in the throat. She wanted to see Kai, but she had not the heart to tell him the truth. She presumed he already knew what was troubling her- troubling them. She had not the courage to see the sorrow on his face, so she pretended that everything was fine even when it was not. She smiled and teased him at all the opportunities she could possibly get knowing very well that one day that they would have to stop. One day he would have someone else do that to him. Therefore the next time she had gone on Earth she had confessed it to him. He had listened patiently without a word and had calmly accepted it. The unforgettable silence that followed would haunt Cinder forever. She thought they had fooled themselves enough trying to make the impossible happen, justifying their actions as a result of love. In the end, he had sighed, tears reflecting in his copper-brown orbs and croaked, "I guess this is the end?" She had nodded failing to meet his eyes. "Sorry, Kai", she had uttered, feeling every ounce guilty and sorrowful. They had stood like that for a long time, feet shuffling- gazes never meeting each other until he was called. He did not shed a single tear before her. On her last night at the Palace, she felt a sort of Deja-Vu for all the things around her. Her thoughts roamed around only a single thing- 'After today, this place would no longer be home'. He had come to her room that night and once they had gotten over the awkward small talk of the breakup, he had launched at her and hugged her till her bones crushed. "I love you," he whimpered. "Don't forget it- don't forget it, Cinder. Even when you go to that fucking rock in the sky." And Cinder could feel something warm- not inside her but on her shoulders.

Kai's tears had been falling on her shoulders and she had chanted sorry all the time they stayed like that.

'What do you do to calm two heartbroken souls?'

He was in her arms hearing her speak, though her words were not soothing, they did not reduce his grief like they ought to. They were bitter truth of their future, their fate. They were apologies for what they had lost. Her words were not comforting. She was not going to tell him how they will be fine when she knew they would not. There was no point lying- telling him nicely painted lies of their future when their present was broken like that. She had no idea how but they fell asleep together, a mess of tumbled limbs on the carpet for the last time. And when the streaks of sunlight fell over their sleeping forms, it was not out of hope.

"It seems that it's over for the two royals, one of them the Queen of Luna and the other The Emperor of Eastern Commonwealth. Queen Selene, 26 and Emperor Kaito, 28 called off their relationship yesterday. Emperor Kaito in his latest press speech stated that "Myself and Queen Selene are no longer together- we have parted ways on good terms. However, we are no longer involved," when one of the reporters asked if there was any wedding to be expected soon. The Queen of Luna also addressed this in one of her official posts, saying "It's been great 10 years with Kai but we can no longer stay together," with a bittersweet smile. The two refuse to brief about this. It just seems like just yesterday they were THE happier and attractive couple dancing at the Annual Peace Ball and -well now they are not, we are sure their fans all around must be heartbroken but worry not you can catch up on their relationship through the years-" Two months later, they formally announced their break-up. They called off everything- all of it just like she had thought. The world did not know- they did not know how Kai had gone down on his knees and she had said yes before he could even ask. How she had pieces of her never- going to happen wedding vows drafted somewhere in her brain. It was only them, Torin, Iko and their friends who knew the disaster of grief they had unrolled in their life. He had refused to take the ring back, "Keep it to remember me by." He had insisted and she had not-so jokingly replied, "I don't need jewels to remember you by." Returning to Luna had been the harder task, She-They had cut off all ties except maybe friendship (?) but things were going to be different- they are different.

It felt hollow for months later, she drowned herself in work to forget about the messy-haired boy, to forget that there was no one waiting for her comms now, that she did not have someone to whisper 'I love you's too', to kiss him and be found by someone, no reason for Thorne to shout 'Get a room.'

She had for the first few days been hopeless- locking herself up, both metaphorically and literally only to realize that Kai had been an integral part of her daily schedule and world even from thousands of miles away. The breaks that she once looked forward too, taunted her of what she had lost- so she was hell-bent on working the day without breaks. She forced her mind to not stray around to the boy on Earth. The only moment she had let her guard down was when Thorne was visiting- because he was her BFF and wasn't he the one who teased her all along about Kai and his heavenly copper-brown eyes? Wasn't he going to be her rock where she had lost her anchor? At the sight of his friend's dark circles, thinner than the usual frame, Thorne and Cress had bear-hugged her and the only thing that she felt was it felt good to be embraced by someone other than Iko. 'I'm so sorry, Cinder', Thorne had said and she had croaked, "Don't be sorry." She had cracked that day.

"I DON'T WANT PITY THORNE, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR HOW PEOPLE THOUGHT WE WOULD GET MARRIED AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER. I DON'T WANT THE MEDIA TO TELL ME HOW WE LOOKED GOOD TOGETHER. I FUCKING HATE LUNARS TELLING ME THAT THEY HOPE I FEEL BETTER. AM I NOT IN THIS CONDITION BECAUSE THEY CHOOSE TO BE SELFISH? THORNE, I WANT TO CRY AND MY STUPID CYBERNETICS WOULD NOT EVEN ALLOW BE TO CRY FOR MY EX-FIANCEE." She might have been a bit tipsy to blow up like that but she was past caring. She had been pretending that everything was fine while she was falling apart inside. "What sort of cruel joke is this? Haven't I already endured enough? I don't want anyone's fucking apologies. I don't want that crap, I- I want K-Kai."

She yelled as her face echoed pain. "Do I not deserve love, Thorne?" She had demanded, looking very vulnerable. She never said a word after that. The next big blow came when she had attended the world leader summit. Thankfully, it was a virtual thing or she could not have gone through the entire ceremony without a mental breakdown. She had felt the air knock out of her lungs at the sight of Kai after six whole months. He looked paler than normal, his always messed up hair looked neatly fixed in place with layers of hair gel. And his ever blinding grin present at even stupid meetings like this was now merely his lips pressed together in a thin line.

How was Kai who was her joy in human form suddenly became the picture of grief? She wondered how she looked to him if even he was out of breath at the sight of her- realizing how she was drifting away from the main reason she was attending the summit, she forced herself to look at anywhere but him. That night she slept thinking about how she was not the only one suffering. "-The Emperor of EC starts a new journey in his life at 30. However, there are no wedding bells in the air as of now, making the world and the EC anticipate the future of their Emperor and their nation. At 30, the Emperor not committed to anyone nor having any living heir had caused multiple questions to be unanswered about the legacy after him. Hopefully, he will find his partner to secure their future until then we wish him a Very Happy Birthday!" Marriage. Wedding. Love. Hadn't it been what they had lost? She knew this was going to happen. Then why did she feel like drowning all over again? Why did her heart shatter yet again? He was no longer hers to worry about...Was he even part of her world anymore? She knew it very well that he was supposed to marry someone. He must marry someone and have an heir to the Commonwealth. Cinder was asked to do the very same thing. They were monarchs who had to keep their legacies alive. The next time she was invited for the Annual Peace Ball, Kai had cornered and said, "They want me to get married." "Tell me you are saying this because you want the ring back." She had jokingly said, swallowing the sadness and jealously that threatened to submerge her. Her mind asked if he would go down on his knees at the Ball just like he had done for Levana. But that was just her stupidity, misery and desperation mixed together. How was her tyrant aunt going to manage her marriage with Kai by living on Luna along with her sinister motives?! "Cinder" "Kai", she pleaded, underlying the please without saying it. She averted her eyes and nonchalantly asked," Have someone in mind?" "No", he replied without a beat, making her at ease but what he said next crushed her healing heart again. "But I have someone in my heart." She could not stand around him without wanting to kiss him senseless. Therefore, she said, "I wish you happiness, Kai." And tried to walk away until he questioned, "Do you?" "Hmm.." she replied, looking back at him. "Do you?" He repeated. "Wish you happiness? Yeah, Kai, I do- with all my heart." "I wish you were happiness!" Looking at his lean frame dressed in the colours of EC she dared to speak, "I wish that too." She had not returned after that episode but maybe she would have to. Soon. "The Emperor has been sighted with Chen Daiyu, daughter of Chen Zian, the Chief Commandant of Light Chariot, she is an activist working towards the liberation of perils faced by cyborgs in modern society, along with being a psychotherapist by service. It's not the first time that they have been seen together making people hope that it's not the last. There are rumours about their courting with no confirmation from any one of the two-It appears the Emperor has finally moved on from his last date with Queen Selene. Only time will tell if the Emperor has found his Empress or not." She could not blame anyone. They were just pressing time trying to avoid some inescapable future- yet why did her mind ask if he had learned Chen Daiyu's favourite flowers? or Did he hold her as he had held her once? Wondered if he explained to her why there was a cyborg's foot in his room? She was cursing goddamn every star because it was not just him but even she was looking into suitors!? She had gone on dates with a few, noticing how one of them grinned like Kai with a dimple on his left cheek, how someone scratched their necks when they were flustered or how some of them had a struggle keeping their hair in place- without wanting to she was searching for Kai everywhere in them. None of the two was married yet. It was okay to imagine about him for a while. It was okay for grief to overwhelm her. Maybe that's what she needed to

move on from her past.

Had they moved on? Had they stopped loving each other? 'NO!'- she shook her head violently to no one in particular.

She loved him even now. There will always be some part of her mind that will love him. Maybe it was treasuring their memories while making new ones. Two years later reading an article about them, she thought if maybe she had tried harder, would they be together? Alas, there was no point fantasizing when both time and distance had separated them? Could they start from where they had left? Or would they be two broken pieces no longer fitting?

"Sometimes love stays," The article read again. "But lover's don't." Maybe if distance, time and qualms of royalty were not preventing them then things could have been different, their lives could have been different. Perhaps in a life with different circumstances, they would have been together unlike this one- where they had briefly touched, in another life possibly their tale could have had a happy ending. Maybe if she was Cinder and not Queen Selene Channary Jannali Blackburn of Luna, and if he was just Kai and not Emperor Kaito of the Eastern Commonwealth then they would have made it till the end.

But they were not and that's what mattered. __

A/N: We are done! :)

I know you would likely want to hit me right now since I promised certain someone that there would be no angsty fics for at least a few months and yet HERE I AM!

I have kinda portrayed Iko in this really bad, so sorry about that! And you have no idea how much frustrated I was that Cinder could not cry, like crying is such a essential part of human behavior and having to describe her grief without tears was certainly a challenge. I hope I did her character well- You guys have no idea how much break-up articles I have read just to get the news articles right. I might as well do a course on journalism later ;)

Was that a bit too much angst? and yeah in this fic they are secretly engaged!

This was written for the TLC Ship Week, the word prompt for this one was 'In Another Life'. However, I had already planned it beforehand with no idea of  how the ship-week was going to give me the perfect opportunity to post this. I know I'm cruel right?

This idea had been going a lot in my mind since I made @salt-warrior write her fic 'Anyone Else', and read the fic 'After' on AO3, along with 'Once' by @/betaluz. I just thought that maybe Cinder failed to get past the boundaries of royalty on Luna and converting it into a Republican, wondering if that happened what would happen to her relationship with Kai. Hence, this sudden angsty take.

Tell me which is your favorite part from this?

And don't worry I have more angst lined up for you! <3

Taglist: @cinderswrench @gingerale2017 @linhcinder686 @shellyseashell @ladyvesuvia @shelbylmkaider @levanariddle @cindersassasin @kaider-is-my-otp (Tell me if you wanna be added/removed)

[maybebanks]

Stronger

JJ Maybank x Reader

JJ was deeply loyal to his friends, still he had no idea why the right group could accept one new member, you. JJ is always sour to you, being a kook and all. But this summer, something changes.

⚠️:hints to violence

“Jesus, Y/n,” JJ mumbled, the words just seemed to fall out of his mouth without his permission. He shuffled in his seat.

At this Y/n felt insecure. JJ usually put her down, with his snarkey remarks that always landed a place under her skin. She didn’t know why. But she was new to the group, and apparently that was all JJ needed to hate her.

Y/n gripped her iPhone, “What now JJ? You gonna comment on my looks? Or is it the sound of my voice that annoys you?” She snapped.

The group surrounded them, they weren’t new to this kind of bickering between Y/n and JJ.

“Quit it guys,” John B ordered.

“I will, when Y/n quits at life,” JJ joked, but said it in a serious tone.

“Oh fuck off, Maybank,” you groaned, not wanting to insult him any more.

“Ooh? Did-did y’all here that? Y/n just talked back to me?” JJ said, faking shocked.

You rolled your eyes.

“JJ, don’t start,” Pope added. He knew you didn’t like to fight back. You usually never insulted JJ back.

“Nah I wanna hear this! Say it again Y/n!” JJ exclaimed, pointing towards you.

You looked away, tensing up.

“Say it to my face Y/n,” JJ continued, in a threatening manner. JJ thought it was slightly playful. And hoped you wouldn’t know the reason why he was actually picking on you.

“Leave me alone JJ,” you muttered, moving closer to John B sitting next to you.

“Y/n, tell me, have you always been this much of a pussy? Or are you just afraid of me?” JJ taunted.

“Watch your mouth, asshole,” you insulted.

“Make me,” he snapped, leaning closer to you. Towering over you.

JJ smirked, “you wanna know what I think? I think you, being a waste of space and all, would be easily forgotten if you just..hm pulled a Scooter Grubbs,”

You rolled your eyes, “I can’t deal with you right now,”

“You’re gonna leave?! Expected,” JJ chuckled.

“It’s not worth it,” you muttered, heading out the door.

“JJ why do you have to be such a dumbass?” Pope said, but JJ was just motivated by this. Feeling disappointed that the fight didn’t go as planned.

He followed you outside, you were by the Pogue, grabbing your backpack.

You heard footsteps and immediately perked up, “god, what is wrong with you?” you groaned.

“I was thinking...” he began.

“Look, I don’t give a fuck. So please get out of my way,” you gestured towards him, there was minimal space on the dock.

“Not until you give me what I want,” JJ shrugs.

You gulped, stepping backwards, “JJ, let’s talk tomorrow,”

JJ knew you were intimidated, it wasn’t just his height that scared you.

“You’re pathetic, you know that?” JJ scoffed, giving you a dirty look.

“Whatever,” you muttered, trying to walk past him. You were restricted when he grabbed your arm

“Let go of me,” you said, pulling away lightly.

“No. I want you to fight back,” JJ blurted. Still holding you tight.

“I’m not gonna fight you,” you said, pulling away hard enough to be released.

JJ ran a hand through his hair while taking a sharp breath in, then he stepped towards you. Shoving your shoulders with force, not enough to make you fall.

“The fuck!” You shouted, and now triggered and annoyed. But you couldn’t fight him. So you calmed your breathing.

“Fight BACK!” He shouted. He wanted to be insulted. He wanted to be punished.

“I-..what? I can’t!”

“I know you’ve got a mouth on ya! Insult me!” He demanded.

“No. Just let me go. Please,” you continued.

“No!” He screamed, then he stepped forward towards you and in one motion, he grabbed your face with one hand, forcing your eyes up to him.

He studied you, you were frozen, but still remained composed.

“You never fight back, it’s like you think your better than me. Why.” JJ spits.

“Im not gonna fight you-“ you repeated.

“Why?” JJ interrupted.

“Because...your stronger than me,” you shrugged.

JJ backer up, he was slightly confused. He knew you could tell anyone off. But you never tried with JJ. He wanted to know why he was different. He wanted to know why no matter how much of a dick he was to you, you wouldn’t insult him back.

“Stronger than...like physically?” JJ asked.

You look at the wood below you, still standing on the dock.

“Look...I don’t pity you JJ. But when I found out about your Dad, I-“

“Hold up. Who...what the fuck is there to know?” He defended. He was mad someone told you, he was mad that someone he, deep down wanted to impress, knew his biggest insecurity.

“JJ,” you sighed.

“What? Who told you?!” He exclaimed.

“No one...” you lied, not wanting to get John B in trouble.

“Stop fuckin lying,” he said angerly.

“You’re...you’re scaring me,” you croaked out.

“Fine. Then leave,” he stated, he was still clearly angry, you noticed his jaw clenching.

You were afraid that if you moved, he’d snap.

“Just know you’re fucking dead to me,” JJ whispered, but you heard him.

You frowned, but understood that now he probobly wanted you to leave. You walked around 6 feet past him. When you turned around.

He hadn’t moved, he was staring off into the distance.

You watched him for a moment, ruffled his hair a bit, then kicked some rock that was on the dock. You heard him mutter small things like “fuck.”

“Me doing this,” you spoke up, “doesn’t mean I’m giving up on you,”

JJ didn’t turn around to face you yet.

“We don’t deserve that shit,” you admitted.

JJ furrowed his brows, that was enough for him to turn around, “we? We are nothing alike.”

You frowned, but instead, slowly, you pulled at the hem of your t shirt, to reveal purple and blue marks the size of a fist on your torso.

“How the fuck you get those?” He asked, slightly calmer. He wasn’t connecting the dots.

“I should go,” you replied. Turning around and heading past the house.

JJ jogged over to you. You gasped when he touch your shoulder to turn you around.

When you looked at his face, it was softer now.

“Just because I don’t like you, doesn’t mean I can’t beat the shit out of someone for you,” JJ told you.

You noticed he was trying to help, but he couldn’t.

“It’s okay. I’ve got it under control,” you answered, starting to walk away again, he jogged infront of you.

“Was it Rafe? I swear to God I’ll kill him,” JJ muttered.

“Um..fuck..I shouldn’t have told you...just, in the moment...” you started to panic, you hadn’t thought of the consequences in that moment. What reckless JJ would do to protect his friends or anyone labeled in his friend group.

“I’m glad I know,” he answered, nonchalantly.

You felt sick suddenly, you didn’t want JJ to have another reason to hate kooks.

“JJ...wait...these,” you paused to point to your hip, “they’re just from me being clumsy...I fall like all the time-“ you stopped when he starting closing the space between you two.

He didn’t say anything, he just was walking closer. You weren’t intimidated at that moment. You sensed the comfort JJ was offering.

The truth was, you were a kook, who decided to become a pogue. And some of the kooks hated you for it. So, Rafe and Kelce sometimes would pick on you, and when they were high it would escalate. Sometimes even that plug Barry got involved.

You didn’t want tell anyone your problem and JJs was much worse.

You bit the inside of your cheek.

For JJ, he felt less broken. If someone was going through similar pain.

“I should go,” you pushed him by his chest gently. To create some distance.

“Right. You want me to walk you home?” JJ offered, it was weird, kindness coming from him.

“Uh...” you contemplated, JJ placed his hand on your bare shoulder. It was meant to be comforting. But him putting himself up for you, even though he was struggling finally hit you, and your eyes stung, starting to water.

“Just let me walk you home!” Rafe smirked. You were alone with him. Outside the country club, in the dark parking lot.

“Please don’t do this. Not tonight,” you pleaded.

“Why?” He paused to grab your hip, “going surfing what the Pogues? Your such a slut you wanna wear a bikini?” He seethed. His face so close to yours.

“Stop!” You shouted, but that angered him more. Then, he covered your mouth with his rough hand. Sending a powerful punch to your side.

“You know how you end this, Y/n. Just say you’ll do it,” he taunted.

“Never.”

“No. I’ll be fine thanks,” you shook your head. Wiping the tears away quickly.

“Can I at least walk you past the driveway?” He asked. JJ really wanted to apologize for how he’s been treating you. It was his own defense mechanism to hide his feelings for you. But now, he couldn’t apologize, it’s not who he was.

He would make it up to you with his actions.

You sighed, “is really hot today, don’t you think?” You said, making conversation.

JJ nodded, his boots dragging against the gravel as he joined you walking.

The uneasy feeling in your gut remained, even after JJ was talking about the plans for the rest of the summer.

“And what about midsummers? You still going to that?” JJ asked.

You didn’t even notice you stopped walking, until JJ gave you a confused look.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

You brushed him off. Just shaking your head and not saying anything.

After you both started walking past the driveway you frowned.

“JJ, you should leave. I don’t want you to get hurt,” you blurted.

“Me? Why are you always worried about everyone but yourself?” JJ scoffed.

“Why are you?” You retaliated, “it’s not up for discussion. They have numbers,” you said.

“They? What the hell are you talking about?!” He shouted, now angry.

“JJ. I’m not going to ask you again. Leave,” you demanded.

He didn’t respond because the sound of an approaching engine could be heard from down the road.

When you looked up you recognized it. They were slowing.

Your instinct was to run. But JJ stood still.

“JJ, let’s go! What are you doing?” You asked frantically.

“Get behind me,” he ordered.

“No...JJ don’t do this. Let’s run!” You pleaded, tugging at his bicep.

“They hurt you, they hurt me.”

Part ii

[robininthelabyrinth]

A Sick Thought - Part 3 - on ao3 or on tumblr pt 1, pt 2

Lan Wangji had long ago suspected that he had done some terribly wrong in a prior life, if only because something had to explain everything he’d suffered from the death of his mother to the destruction and rebuilding of his sect to the loss of Wei Wuxian and the terrible wrenching pain that accompanied it.

If before he suspected, now he was certain.

There was no other way to explain why else he would be tormented by the return of his beloved – as a feline.

He had difficulty even thinking about that, really, even though he’d gotten relatively used to dealing with the fact of it in real life. The thought just sounded so absurd in every possible way:

Wei Wuxian is back, but he’s a cat.

The Yiling Patriarch returned at last, meowing.

Purr, says Wei Ying.

(That last one tended to lead him to disturbing thoughts, and so he refrained.)

They were traveling together now, working together, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian together. It was everything he’d ever dreamt of, except for the part that his wildest fantasies on the subject somehow failed to cover the possibility that Wei Wuxian would be small, four-legged, and insist on riding on Lan Wangji’s shoulder except for when he felt the distinct need to zoom around wildly and would pelt up and down the road at top speed, chattering cheerfully as he did.

Similarly, when Lan Wangji had imagined sharing a meal with him, he had perhaps anticipated Wei Wuixan’s eyes going big and round and pleading, the way he inhaled the smell of spices, the way he would reach out to grab – but he hadn’t anticipated that he would need to bat away Wei Wuxian’s little paw before he consumed anything with onion, garlic, or other alliums, which were bad for cats, and would instead be feeding him little bits of raw chicken with no salt. Sometimes, even often, he would succumb to Wei Wuxian’s pleading and rub on a tiny little bit of chili powder – spice was also bad for cats, no matter how they lusted for it, and so it was bad for Wei Wuxian no matter his pleading. 

He had imagined sharing a pillow with him, hearing his breathing, and they did, he did - and yet, they were literally sharing the pillow, Wei Wuxian’s entire body curled up into a perfect orb of cat right next to his cheek and sometimes waking him up with foul cat-breath, and instead of needing to watch for nightmares he was more concerned about dreams involving chasing (Wei Wuxian had pounced on his forehead ribbon more times than he could count). He could sooth him with his hand, as he’d hoped, but there was a lot less sighing and a lot more purring - a rumble like distant thunder, more vibration than sound - than he’d thought.

Also, he’d imagined their duets to include somewhat more flute-playing and less…yowling.

Yes, it was all…very, very different.

No matter. It wasn’t important that it didn’t match his dreams; what was important was that Wei Wuxian, his Wei Ying, was back.

That was what mattered.

“I really wish we could’ve gotten more information from Mo Xuanyu,” Wei Wuxian said, padding along at Lan Wangji’s side. He’d permitted Lan Wangji to replace the cheap red ribbon Mo Xuanyu had found for him with something a little more elegant, and Lan Wangji hadn’t been able to resist using one of his spare forehead ribbons (dyed red, of course, to match Wei Wuxian’s tastes); the obvious end result of this pleasurable subterfuge was that Lan Wangji was now having some difficulty looking straight at Wei Wuxian without blushing. 

It seemed an appropriate example of suffering the consequences of his own actions. 

“I know he doesn’t know anything about the ghost hand – or the legs, I guess, now that we’ve gotten them, and wasn’t that weird with the Nie sect? Poor Nie Huaisang looked even more torn up about it all than I would’ve expected, all dark circles under his eyes and pale skin, you’d think he’d be better at running a sect if it’s been a decade already – anyway, I’m distracting myself from the main point. The main point is, I can’t help but feel like this whole thing is connected to Mo Xuanyu somehow.”

“Agreed,” Lan Wangji said.

Poor Mo Xuanyu.

Lan Wangji had not in nearly a decade and a half regretted his decision never to willingly set foot in Jinlin Tower, but now that he had seen what work they had made of Mo Xuanyu, he regretted nothing more. He who took such pride in being where the chaos was had missed the chaos and wretchedness right under his very nose – for Mo Xuanyu was very wretched indeed.

Lan Wangji had resented Mo Xuanyu at first, always laying his hands on Wei Wuxian without the slightest bit of shame – not that there needed to be shame, given that Wei Wuxian was, well, a cat, and of the subgenre of felines that Jiang Cheng for some unspecified reason continued to crudely refer to as “cuddle-sluts” – and for how Wei Wuxian worried about him and cared for him. 

It did not help that Mo Xuanyu was so well known for being a cutsleeve. 

And then, one day, Mo Xuanyu had gotten Lan Wangji alone and told him with great emphasis that he was deeply devoted to his successful courtship of Wei Wuxian, offering his help in any possible respect, and also wistfully added that he wouldn’t mind it very much if Lan Wangji were willing to offer some suggestions on how to court Jiang Cheng, who was utterly oblivious to any hints.

After that, Lan Wangji remembered himself what shame was, and guilt, and felt it thoroughly – it was no excuse to say that being around Wei Wuxian roused his worst protective and possessive instincts, for it was his duty to overcome them. Be strict with yourself, the rules said, and as always he had failed to remember the rules when he needed them most.

The extent of his pettiness was only magnified when he thought about it all more closely. Mo Xuanyu was not merely someone to be pitied, was more than simply a victim who had suffered under the outrages of the Jin sect – the harassment, the abuse, the deliberate poisoning and destruction of his mind in order to reduce his credibility...That was all bad enough, and it pained Lan Wangji to no end to hear it. 

But more than abuse, more than madness, more than exile to a misbegotten place that somehow managed to beat out Jinlin Tower for sheer viciousness –

It was due to Mo Xuanyu that Wei Wuxian had returned.

He had been willing to give his very life, his body and soul, to bring him back.

And for that, Lan Wangji owed him everything.

Even when it meant –

“We should return to the Cloud Recesses to fetch him,” Lan Wangji said, and Wei Wuxian craned his head around – his tiny, tiny head that could easily fit into Lan Wangji’s palm, covered in a short layer of fur more comfortable than the softest silk – to look at him in curiosity. “I understand that it is a detour.”

“It is,” Wei Wuxian said. “You wouldn’t propose it for no reason, either. What are you afraid of? He’s in the Cloud Recesses, and with Jiang Cheng – surely he’s as safe as safe can be.”

“It is nearly the end of the month,” Lan Wangji said. “My brother will be returning home soon.”

“So?” Wei Wuxian asked, puzzled. And why should he not be puzzled? To even think…and yet. And yet, and yet, and yet. “Jiang Cheng will explain everything to him, won’t he?”

“My brother will be returning home,” Lan Wangji said again. “After a month and more abroad.”

Wei Wuxian looked at him silently, awaiting an explanation. His tail lashed gently against Lan Wangji’s leg.

“He was visiting his sworn brother,” Lan Wangji said. “Lianfeng-jun.”

“Jin Guangyao,” Wei Wuxian said, his tone heavy – he had understood. “Does your brother visit Jinlin Tower often?”

Lan Wangji nodded tightly.

“And has for many years, I expect? Since the end of the Sunshot Campaign.”

He nodded again.

“Surely you don’t believe that he knew what was happening to Mo Xuanyu?”

Lan Wangji hesitated. “I do not know how he could not have known,” he confessed. “I think to myself if I had only been there – if I had overcome my disdain for the Jin sect –”

“Don’t think like that,” Wei Wuxian said at once, a balm to Lan Wangji’s soul. “You couldn’t have known. The Jin sect is the most talented at deception and misdirection – they wouldn’t have let you see. Nor your brother, either - you would have seen only what they wished for you to see, and poisoned the well of your thoughts to discount anything you did see.”

“Perhaps,” Lan Wangji said, and felt more at peace. It was true that even his brother, with his token, could not so easily travel through the depths of Jinlin Tower freely, without an escort. “I do not think Brother knew.”

“I agree. Impossible.”

“And yet - his sworn brother...it is not unheard of for Lianfeng-zun to unexpectedly accompany my brother back to the Cloud Recesses, and I cannot bring myself to believe that he did not know. As a precaution, therefore…”

Wei Wuxian’s ears flicking back and forth. “I see your point. But still, I don’t think it makes sense for us to go to them – why not write to Jiang Cheng and have him bring Mo Xuanyu to meet us here, while we investigate the Chang clan?”

Lan Wangji nodded.

“I’d prefer that, anyway – I really can’t use regular cultivation without Mo Xuanyu around, just demonic cultivation. As we continue to hunt for the ghost pieces, it’ll be good to have both.”

Lan Wangji wondered a little at that. In their first life, hadn’t Wei Wuxian completely abandoned normal cultivation in favor of demonic cultivation?

If so, why the shift back now?

“Besides, I have an idea I want to try that involves him,” Wei Wuxian added casually, so casually that Lan Wangji merely nodded and did not question and did not know until it had already happened.

“Success!” Wei Wuxia hissed in delight, then frowned, poking at his teeth. “Well, mostly.”

“You turned yourself into a catboy,” Jiang Cheng said, his hand over his eyes. “Because of course you did. I hate you. Have I mentioned that I hate you? Becuase I hate you.”

“What’s a catboy?” Jin Ling asked. Apparently he had insisted on joining them, as had Lan Sizhui and Lan Jingyi – Lan Wangji would have instructed them to remain, but Jiang Cheng had yielded more or less immediately to their requests.

Typical.

“You don’t need to know,” Jiang Cheng said at once.

“How do you know?” Wei Wuxian asked. “Jiang Cheng! What are you doing going about knowing things about catboys? We’ve talked about this –”

“What? No we haven’t! We haven’t talked about anything! You spent the entire conversation that we had over catnip crying your eyes out about how tasty pheasants are!”

Lan Wangji had always surmised that there was more to the conversation than that, being as both of them had emerged significantly less likely to murder the other, but he didn’t have any presence of mind to devote to that line of thought.

Or to any thought.

Not when Wei Wuxian was…well, mostly human.

He had his old face, but a build that more closely resembled Mo Xuanyu’s slenderness and height; his hair was the correct shade, but poking out from the strands were two now-familiar ears that flickered back and forth with excitement. And he was also possessed on inhumanly sharp canines, sharp claws, and what appeared to be a very active tail.

All the features attributed to…well.

Catboys.

(Lan Wangji had also seen the specific genre of pornography being referenced and every single one of those images – including his particular favorite, which involved a collar – was refreshing itself in his mind with a new figure in each starring role.

He was going to spontaneously combust.)

He stammered some excuse and fled the scene at once.

By the time he returned, they had more or less packed up to continue following the guidance of the ghost hand – it almost reminded him a proper night-hunt, actually. The adults, such as they were, led the way, with the juniors following behind, chatting amongst themselves; Mo Xuanyu was hanging off of Jiang Cheng’s arm and chattering at Wei Wuxian like old friends, his eyes curved up in crescents, with much of the terrible pain that he had always carried sloughed off like an old skin, while Jiang Cheng nodded along, oblivious to any hint as always.

Lan Wangji was abruptly struck by a feeling of – satisfaction, he thought.

This was good.

(Don’t look at Wei Wuxian or you’ll start slowing down the trip.)

But how could he resist?

He headed over and took his place at Wei Wuxian’s side, receiving a wide smile – he would die a thousand times over for that smile – for his troubles.

“What do you think, Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian asked him, and then barreled right on with the conversation without bothering to wait for a response.

Yes.

This was good.

This was how it should be.

Even Jiang Cheng, who Lan Wangji had despised for years…he made Wei Wuxian happy. And since that was the case, Lan Wangji would be willing to put up with him – on a temporary basis, anyway.

“What is this place, anyway?” Lan Sizhui asked from behind them.

“It’s called Yi City, with the Yi as in ‘coffin’,” Wei Wuxian said casually. “Didn’t you see the marker outside?”

“A better question,” Jiang Cheng said. “If it’s supposed to be a city, why isn’t there anyone here?”

“There is, though,” Lan Jingyi said, pointing. “Look, over there – huh, no. I must have seen the wrong thing.”

“No,” Mo Xuanyu said, and him actually disagreeing with someone when it wasn’t in the middle of one of his fits   was so unusual – even after he’d had so much healing – that they all turn to look at him.

He was smiling.

“You’re right,” he said, clapping his hands together happily, his eyes fixed on the distant spot. “There is someone there! I can see them!”

He raised a hand and waved.

“Xue-gege!” he shouted. “Xue-gege, it’s A-Yu! Come out and meet my friends!”

[oikirstein]

𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬 | 𝐫.𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐚

PAIRING: suna x fem!reader

SYNOPSIS: It was a quiet night you were to have—until Suna came knocking on your door at 11 PM. 

CONTAINS: angst, drugs (weed), suggestive content, tw: kissing, shotgunning, suna’s mom’s honda odyssey 

WORD COUNT: 3,097

A/N: this bad boy is dedicated to my sussy little baka @hikariakaashi​ giggles (derogatory). you’ve been going through a suna brain rot recently and when i told you my fantasy about shotgunning with suna, you encouraged me to write it, so here it is chuckles immensely. i hope u like it ily :biteslip: 

big thank you to @kyotarou​ for beta reading and giving me mini heart attacks & to @hajigumi​ for making my header after saying it was ugly (/j) <3 

The silence of your room was peaceful. The stars shone brightly outside your balcony window, moonlight glistening through the translucent curtains. It wasn’t absurd for you to be all by lonesome, it was only natural for the daughter of a CEO to find herself busy with things that didn’t concern the family. They were raising you to be an heir after all, a feat that required independence to be a shining skill. Still, standing in an empty room, it was a lonely situation to be living in. You were grateful to have such a future practically placed in the palms of your hands, but you wished there was something more. You wanted to experience what it was like to break free from the shackles of responsibility and keeping up appearances. A lot of your time was spent wondering if things would’ve been different had you been given a choice, but unfortunately, life did not give you the option to change the past.

That’s why you were so thankful to have heard the light knock that originated from the wood of your balcony door. A light flinch overtook your body at the sound, like you were anticipating his presence. You tiptoed your way over to the door, your warm hand radiating heat onto cool metal of the doorknob. With your ear pressed to the wood, a soft giggle fell from your lips.

“Who is it?” you teased, knowing full well who was on your terrace at this late hour.

“Why don’t you open up the door and see for yourself?” You could practically see the smirk that played on his face.

Without hesitation, you swung the door open so fast the hinges didn’t have the chance to creak. You jumped into his arms at first glance, him carrying you with ease. “Rintaro! What are you doing here?”

He placed you back down on your feet before taking your hand in his and bringing it up to his lips, “It’s a beautiful night, is it not?”

You blushed at the contact of his soft lips on your skin, anxiety washing over you as you scanned the perimeter.

“What if someone sees us?”

“Well, no one’s gonna catch us if we aren’t here for them to catch,” he whispered, jerking his head to the side as if to insinuate they were going to leave the property.

If someone had caught you with a boy—the boy being Suna, no less—you surely would’ve been reprimanded by your father. On the other hand, the past couldn’t be changed, and the consequences of the future were for a different you to worry about. What was life without a little risk anyway?

“You mean like...sneaking out?” You warily looked around as you shut the door, the click of the knob sealing your fate.

He lightly grabbed hold of your hand and started his way down the stairs of your parapet. “Well how else would we spend today?”

You followed him, hand in hand, through all the twists and turns that presented themselves in your garden, until you reached the outermost edge of the estate.

Suna promptly released your grip, intertwining his own fingers to hoist you over the wall, “After you.”

You held onto his shoulder as you stepped onto him, “Such a gentleman,” and climbed over the wall with ease.

Rintaro swiftly followed you, using his upper body to lift himself above the marble. After dusting his hands off on his jeans, he led you to the street just beyond the backyard.

As you approached the vehicle, he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry it’s nothing fancy. All I had was my mom’s old Honda,” you gave him an apologetic smile to reassure him that trivial things such as car brands didn’t matter. He stepped in front you to open the passenger door, waiting for you to be all settled in before winking. “But don’t worry, she won’t be back home until next month,” then he shut the door.

Your eyes followed him as he walked around the front of the minivan to get to the driver’s side, “What? What do you mean? Sunarin! Why does it matter if she’s not home!”

All he could do was laugh as he opened his own door. Hopping into the car and resting his wrist on the steering wheel, his eyes made a quick glance at the center console before putting his seatbelt on and starting the ignition. “Like I said, princess, it’s a beautiful night.”

The silence of the drive was peaceful. It was a comforting kind of silence, the kind that enveloped you in warmth. Everything felt okay in this abyss of quiet because you were in this abyss together.

You leaned your head against the window, feeling the cold air of night permeating through the glass before you sighed. “Say, how long until we reach our destination?”

Rintaro shifted in his seat, placing his right elbow on the armrest of the door and placing his head in his palm. He darted his eyes to you and back to the road with a smile, “Be patient. Good things come to those who wait.”

Sitting up straight, you crossed your arms over your chest and imitated a child’s pout. “Well can you at least tell me what we’re gonna do?”

He looked at you, then to the center console, then back at you before shrugging his shoulders. It was like giving a dog a bone. You squinted your eyes at him before untangling your arms and snaking your finger over to the medium and clicking it open. In the corner of your vision, you could see Suna trying to stifle a laugh. Curiosity getting the best of you, you leaned over to look into it, and your eyes widened at the sight.

“Seriously?” you rolled your eyes at him.

As you pulled into what seemed like a forest, he threw his head back in a guffaw.

“What? There’s no better way to celebrate, baby.” He unbuckled his seatbelt and gave you a kiss on your temple before pulling the keys out of the ignition. “Are you ready?”

“Ready for what?” You mimicked his actions and took your seatbelt off.

“Look up.”

You questioned his statement for a second before looking up through the panoramic sunroof of his mom’s Honda Odyssey.

“Oh my god. It’s beautiful.” Your eyes were full of wonder, much like a child, as you stared at the dazzling pink moon above you. “How did you find this place?”

He looked up for a moment, pretending to be lost in thought. “I dunno. Just came across it I guess.”

“Who would’ve thought I’d be alive to witness such a phenomenon!” You giggled, gazing at the sky once more. Turning to Suna, who was staring at you, you commented, “For real, it’s so pretty.”

“Not as pretty as you though.”

He was so suave sometimes it made you itch. Scoffing at him, you chose to ignore what he said, instead holding your hand out and saying, “Oh shut up and pass me a lighter.”

Suna dug his hands into the console and once he had everything in his hands, he motioned for you to shut the top. You watched him diligently as he twisted the grinder, once, twice, three times before taking a wrapper out of the packaging and running his tongue on it. He has such nice hands, you thought as the veins flexed against his bones. He laid the paper flat onto the leather and snapped his gaze back at you.

“Hey, pay attention. How’re you gonna do this by yourself if you’re too busy looking at me, hm?” He loved to tease you, loved to see the heat rise to your cheeks when he took advantage of a perfect moment—loved to fluster you speechless. You opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He took your silence as you admitting defeat, no retort coming to mind. Chuckling at your scrunched eyebrows and focused eyes, he took the wrapper back into his palm and unscrewed the grinder to sprinkle the weed onto the paper. With a steady hand, he placed the container down and rolled up the blunt. Suna tucked the edges of the paper into itself, and taking the lavender lighter that sat on the dashboard, he ran his thumb across the sparkwheel, running the flame across the wrapper.

Once he was done, he held the blunt between his thumb and index finger, taking a look at his proud work. Placing his elbow on the console, he slowly flicked his wrist to your side, ushering you to take the blunt from his fingers. Holding it with your left hand, he placed the lighter in your right. You paused before placing the blunt in between your lips, “I don’t know Rin, I just can’t imagine a world where you don’t roll for me,” you shrugged your shoulders, finally making contact with the paper. As you lit the end of the blunt in the darkness of the car, you couldn’t help but wither at the flame. You never really noticed in the daylight, how fast the light goes out. It was strikingly more apparent in the dark. Before you knew it, your eyes had shut and the flame was out. Perhaps at this moment you could’ve made some cliche anecdote about how life was like a flame, and it would be out before you knew it, so it was best to make the warmth last, but you were just so entirely encapsulated by it’s light that it was gone before you even had time to think about it.

You took a deep inhale, closing your eyes and clearing your thoughts as you let the smoke simmer in your throat, only exhaling when you felt as though you couldn’t breathe anymore.

“That’s my good girl. Seems like you did learn a thing or two from hanging out with a rascal like me.”

You rolled your eyes at him, increasingly getting closer to his body. “As if I had baby lungs before we met.”

A low chuckle erupted from his chest. Watching you take another hit, eyes drunk on the sight of you, he patted lightly on his thighs. You smiled at him, vapor spilling from your teeth, and lifted your body over the middle separation of the car. With you now straddling his legs, he placed his rough palms on your waist, holding onto your skin as if he was afraid to let go. You wrapped your arms loosely around his shoulders and he brought his hand up to brush his thumb against your lip. Gently pulling you in, he settled your soft lips on his, feeling his lungs fill with the smoke from yours. It was slow, the moment feeling everlasting as your bodies moved in sync and your tongues brushed against each other. You pulled apart for a moment, the taste still lingering while Suna turned his head to the side and exhaled.

He looked back up at you with stinging eyes, words could not possibly describe how beautiful you looked under the glowing pink moon. He pulled you in once more, this time more forceful. Teeth clashing and saliva spilling—he couldn’t get enough of you. You held the sides of his face with the heels of your palms, kneeling on the seat below you, desperately wanting to get closer. Suna drew back from your lips with a pop, only to come back and run his tongue all the way down your jawline and neck. Quiet moans ruptured from your throat as he sucked and nipped at the skin. You brought the joint to your lips and sucked on the end until the tip was bright red, only exhaling when Rintaro bit your shoulder.

Playfully smacking his arm, you winced, “Ow!”

He kissed the area as if to soothe the pain, “Sorry, princess, you just taste so good.”

“Yeah right, you smooth piece of shit,” you said, taking the joint in your lips again.

Suna removed himself from you, taking the blunt from your fingers and taking a hit himself. “C’mon, babe, save some for me.”

You cupped his cheek with one hand, the other exploring his chest, while you smooched his cheek and nuzzled your face into his neck, “As if you can’t roll one for yourself,” you purred.

Taking the last few inhales, he placed the remainder of the joint in the ashtray that sat in the cupholder. Rin hooked his index finger under your chin and pressed a quick kiss to your nose, “Where’s the fun in that?” He wrapped his arms around your shoulders, your arms snaking around his waist, and rested his chin on your head. “Y’know, I’m really gonna miss moments like these.”

You sighed against his chest, “You’re talking like we’re splitting up.”

“Well we don’t really have a choice, do we? You’re gonna go study at some prestigious school in France, and I’m…” the strands of your hair flew askew as he exhaled above your head, “...staying here.”

You sat up, straddling his lap once again, bringing yourself eye level to Suna. “I’m coming back, you know that.” You caressed your thumb on his cheek and felt your chest ache when he leaned into your touch, like he was desperate for you to stay. “So don’t talk like we’re never going to see each other again.”

He raised his hand to hold yours and kissed the inside of your wrist tenderly. “Yeah, we’re going to see each other again, but we’re not going to be the same again.”

You didn’t know how to respond. You racked your brain for rebuttals, yet nothing came to mind. All you knew was that you couldn’t lie to him—you didn’t have the heart to. What good would come of lying to the person you loved?

“C’mon, princess, say something. Don’t...don’t let me overthink like this. My head,” you heard him sniffle against your ear. “I keep thinking about all these things—about the future, and, baby, I just can’t see one without you.”

He trembled beneath you, hoping that you didn’t have to see him cry. You didn’t want to look up at him either, afraid that if you let go, you’d never feel his warmth again.

“Rin, please...please don’t say that.” You clutched onto the fabric of his shirt tighter, indulging in the scent of his fabric softener. “You’re making it hard for me to say goodbye,” you pleaded.

He was no better, begging with every word that fell from his lips. “Would it be so selfish of me to want you to stay?”

You lifted your head from his shoulder, wiping your cheeks with your sleeves before taking on the courage to look at his face. His eyes were stained red, bloodshot from the tears that poured. He bit his lip as a last ditch attempt to stop it from quivering—he didn’t want you to see him so...weak.

“Baby…” you whispered, hands finding their way to his face, rubbing away the wetness on his skin. You lowered your head and pressed your foreheads together. Letting out a dry laugh, your breath brushed against the tip of his nose. “Why are you making this so hard for me?”

The rest of the night was a blur of grasps and heartbroken refusals to say farewell.

The silence of the drive was anything but peaceful. Both of you dreaded the moment the rumble of the engine would cease—both of you dreaded the moment you’d have to say your final goodbye. The air was dense, with a sort of sadness that was too heavy to feel all at once. Almost like if one of you had spoken, you’d break down all together. It seemed as if the evening was all jumbled together—the car ride was reminiscent of a limbo you were both stuck in, like the minutes were slowed and rushed at the same time.

Like everything in life, all good things must come to an end. As you watched the image of your home enlarge from the distance, your heart sank to your feet. The moment was inevitable, and yet you hoped it would never come.

The minivan came to a stop in the exact same place it was when he had picked you up. Suna remained unmoving in his seat, hesitant to turn the keys in the ignition to the off position. Once the car stilled, your eyes glanced at the man to your right, tears threatening to spill from your waterline. Your hand wandered down to the lock of your seatbelt, wincing with your eyelids shut at the sound of the click—an action that forced streams to fall down your cheeks. The thick fabric whipped to your side, freeing you from the atmosphere that suffocated you, but you lingered in your spot. There was a ringing in your ears, and you were sure that Rintaro could hear it too. The smooth plastic of the door handle which you reluctantly hooked your fingers around burned against your skin. Everything felt sedated. Reality felt altered. Nothing felt real. The second you tore your eyes away from in front of you, Suna unbuckled his seatbelt and threw it to the side. He grabbed a hold on your wrist, using his other hand to bring your face to his.

Your bodies pressed together, fingers tangling in each other’s hair, clothes, and anything you could grab onto to bring the other closer. Your hearts raced, lips embracing in a delicate hold, breaths leaving your mouths in sync. It was no longer static. Everything felt warm. Everything felt happy. For the first time in what felt like forever, everything felt okay.

One last time, you broke free, instantly feeling colder. Your foreheads rested against each other, unwilling to leave the car and unwilling to let the other go.

You kissed his nose, feeling him smile under your touch. “Whatever happens during these next few years, promise me we’ll find each other again,” you whispered in the dark.

He kissed your cheek, releasing you from his grip and rubbing your shoulder, a gesture that let you know he was ready to say goodbye. “I’ll find you in every lifetime, this one is no different.”

You slowly pulled the door handle and hopped out, leaning over your seat to give him one last kiss. “Don’t forget about me,” you giggled as you shut the car behind you and rushed to make it back to your room before sunrise.

“I love you,” Suna whispered as he watched you fade from view.

© all content [unless stated otherwise] belongs to oikirstein 2021. do not modify or repost.

reblogs are greatly appreciated <3

[restlessfandoming]

“ice fishing” (pt. 3) (chilumi fic)

[part one] [part two] “Childe invites Lumine to the annual Snezhnayan holiday dedicated to the Tsaritsa. There, she meets his entire family, and all the conflict that comes with them.” 

warning: will get mildly suggestive in this part onwards so uhhh yea beware O///w///O

[Fic Masterlist] 

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“ice fishing” (pt. 3)

The morning sunlight streamed in through the window, and Lumine cursed herself for not closing the curtains last night. 

Last night… She looked to her right, and found Childe sleeping, no clothes in sight. Her face flushed with heat as she recalled everything that happened last night. She shook her head, instead looking at his sleeping face. 

He slept absolutely still—no snoring, no twitching; if Lumine hadn’t been paying attention to the rise and fall of his chest, she would’ve thought he was dead. 

In the light of day, Lumine could see his body was covered with scars: some tiny scratches, others long, painful lines. The largest scar was to the right of his sternum, inches from his heart. Her hand lightly traced it, and Childe’s eyelids fluttered open. His eyes landed on her, and a glowing smile spread across his face. 

“Well, good morning,” he said breathlessly. He took her hand that was on his chest into his own. 

Lumine intertwined their fingers. “I’ve never seen your scars before.”

“Of course not, unless you want me to start stripping in the middle of our battles.” He winked. 

Lumine grabbed a pillow from under her and shoved it in his face. He laughed, yanking the pillow off his face.

He turned to her, fingers ghosting over her bare shoulder. “And you...you don’t have a single scratch on you.” 

“Mm, that’s because I’m not from this world,” she whispered, half-joking. 

She hadn’t told him about her origins. Only that her brother was missing and she was searching for him. Maybe it’s time I told him…

“Anybody could see that,” he mumbled sweetly against her skin where his lips were pressed on her shoulder. He planted kisses up until he reached the crook of her neck, where Lumine felt him bite down lightly. 

“Ah!” she gasped, arching her back, to which Childe immediately pulled her closer, hands gripping her waist. He lifted his head, eyes meeting hers—blue eyes burning with desire. Lumine felt herself heat up. He leaned forward to kiss her, when there was pounding on their door. 

“Ajax. Will you be cooking breakfast this morning?” Misha’s voice asked, muffled. 

He let out a frustrated laugh. “Yes, Misha. I’ll be down there soon,” he called back. After Misha’s footsteps receded, he rested his forehead on hers. “I’d better go before the whole house starves.” 

Lumine nodded, her own hunger taking over her mind. “You’d better hurry; remember we skipped dinner last night?”

“Oh yes, I remember very clearly,” he said, smirking. Lumine playfully shoved him. He chuckled. “C’mon, I know you’re starving.” 

The two got dressed and headed downstairs towards the kitchen. Upon entering the dining room, they found Misha and Alexei sitting at the table. Both the older siblings were drinking cups of steaming tea—Misha not looking towards the couple, while Alexei eyed them over the rim of his cup. 

“Your dinners are cold,” the oldest brother said, his voice sing-song. “Went off for another sparring match, you two?” 

“How obscene,” Misha muttered, taking a sip. “The little ones were asking about you two all night. Perhaps think how your actions will be viewed by the children.”  

The little ones you abandoned? Lumine wanted to ask. 

Childe put a hand on her shoulder. “We’ll make sure to tell them something, Misha.” With that, he hurried Lumine into the kitchen. 

“Why do you put up with that? I would’ve taken you for the type to get rid of them,” Lumine asked.

“The little ones already have enough going on with theirs with...Mom’s condition,” he said as he started prepping the kitchen. “A fight between their older siblings would surely mean they’d lose their idea of family love forever.”

“It seems like Alexei and Misha are ruining that already…”

Childe sighed. “If I could knock some sense into them, believe me, I would. But there are consequences for doing so.” He looked out the kitchen window. “The family has already been through a lot.”

If there was one apparent weakness of Childe’s was the fact that he would protect his family no matter what, even if it meant acting irrationally, putting up facades and lies. Even if it meant he was hurting himself in the end. And it hurt Lumine to see. 

Lumine helped him prepare breakfast until there were plates of steaming pancakes ready for the family to eat. 

“Ah, beat me to it,” Feliks said walking into the kitchen. “Ajax, you don’t need to always prepare food for us.” 

Childe shrugged. “I don’t mind. The kids like it anyways.” 

“And it saves the kitchen from being burned down by Misha.” Feliks laughed. He grabbed two plates, heading back out of the room. “I’ll bring this to Galina.” 

Lumine started heading out as well. “I’ll go wake the kids up.” She held a hand up as Childe started to get up. “You’ve already done a lot this morning.” 

Walking past the dining room, Alexei and Misha were gone from the table. Good, I don’t have to talk to them, thankfully. 

She went to Anthon’s room first. He got up quickly, and she left as he started getting ready. A good, responsible kid. Lumine thought fondly. Next, she went to Tonia’s room. Upon waking, the little girl demanded a hug, to which the traveler obliged warmly. She also helped Tonia pick out her clothes for the day before heading to Teucer’s room. Teucer took the longest to get up, but Lumine was patient with him. Like Tonia, he wanted a morning hug, which Lumine gladly gave. Soon, she successfully gathered all three of the children, sending them to the dining room where their breakfast awaited. She smiled to herself listening to them cheerfully rushing down the stairs. 

“How motherly of you.”

Lumine felt the vein pop out on her forehead. “What do you want, Alexei?” She turned, surprised to find him closer to her than anticipated. 

“You are so very hostile towards me, dear Lumine.” His face had his trademark unsettling grin. “Why is that?” 

“And you? What’s your problem?” She crossed her arms. “I don’t generally like people who are as disconcerting as you.”

He laughed darkly. “Me? Disconcerting? You say that as if you’re not involved with a Harbinger. A member of the Fatui.”

“Do I hear resentment? Are they not under the command of your ruler, the Tsaritsa herself? Something a Snezhnayan should be proud of?” 

His smile dropped, mouth pursed. “Perhaps.” 

Oh. OH. Lumine almost smiled at him. “You’re envious of your brother.”

His eyes flashed, and from under his coat, he yanked out a dagger. Lumine quickly materialized her sword, easily countering his attack. Alexei sneered at her, digging his dagger against her blade. “Not envious. At a loss.” His voice was becoming slightly frantic. “How does someone like Ajax become a Harbinger? When I—”

Lumine threw her might upwards, sending Alexei’s blade flying down the hallway. She held the tip of her sword at his throat. “Sounds an awful lot like envy to me.” 

The corner of Alexei’s mouth twitched, as if he were holding back a snarl. Then, he let out a laugh. Unstable. “How powerful. No wonder my brother has taken an interest in you.” He leaned closer, the tip of Lumine’s blade now brushing his skin. “I may have to take an interest in you myself.” 

He reached for a strand of her hair, but she turned her blade from his throat to his hand. “Absolutely not,” she said. “You abandoned your family when they needed you. I have no interest in you, not even a little bit.” Her eyes narrowed at him. “So why are you even here, Alexei? You obviously don’t care for your family.”

“So smart! Even the old man hasn’t figured it out! Though admittedly, his mind isn’t as sharp as it used to be,” he said, taking a step back to grab his dagger again. “Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you, unless you get in my way, dear.” He brought his dagger up to her blade, running the two edges together. “Or you can join me.”

“And what is it that do you plan on doing?”

His eyes glinted. “Taking everything that’s rightfully mine.” 

Lumine raised her blade again. “If you hurt anyone in this family, I won’t hesitate.” 

“Lumine?” Childe asked behind her, coming up the stairs. “...Alexei?”

Both sheathed their weapons, and Alexei smiled. “She’s a keeper, Ajax! Don’t let her go now,” he said, putting a hand on Childe’s shoulder as he passed him heading down the stairs. 

Childe and Lumine watched until Alexei’s figure disappeared into the dining room before turning to each other. 

“Care to explain what happened?” the Harbinger asked. 

“I think we need to stop Alexei. Get him away from here before something bad happens.” Lumine frowned. “He mentioned he has a plan of some sort. ‘To take what’s rightfully his,’ he said.” 

Childe’s eyes narrowed. “Of course. There’s no way he was here to just celebrate Lyublyu.”

“Do you think Misha’s in on it too?” 

“There’s no telling with her. Sometimes she and Alexei are at odds, other times, they can get along. Especially when it comes to their ideas about weakness.” He sighed, then came up to Lumine, embracing her. He asked, “Alexei didn’t hurt you, did he?”

Lumine hugged him back and scoffed. “Of course not. I can handle myself.” 

Childe laughed. “Yes, yes, I know, how could I forget?” He planted a kiss on the top of her head. “The kids want to go into town today; there should be some festivities in the town square.” 

“You aren’t worried about Alexei’s plans?”

“Of course I am. But the kids come first.” 

Lumine nodded. “Then we’ll go.” She felt her stomach rumble. “After breakfast.”

“Yes, I saved you the biggest plate.”

“I knew I liked you for a reason.”

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

[part 4]

[khaotic-kitsunes]

Behind Closed Doors

Ooo, I like this idea! Originally I was gonna write headcanons for it but in the end, I guess I just ended up writing a scenario? Wild world right? Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t...but I really hope you enjoy it and please, feel free to let me know what you think!

Click Me 

Cheeky Kitsune 🦊💋

.

 It was impossible to tell how long ago it all started, all of the secrets, the sneaking around; the easily told lies. All to spend a few stolen moments with your prince and soon-to-be King; Katsuki.

 You were nothing more than a maid, brought in a few years ago because no one else could deal with the crown-prince’s temper. The job paid too much to turn down, on the condition that you could tolerate Katsuki’s anger and get your work done without him throwing you out; to achieve that, you had been given two week’s trial.

 Surprisingly enough, you had made it through the trial period with no trouble. A few arguments here and there, but nothing too terrible; apparently Katsuki’s mother had been impressed because you were given full time and extra money, weekends were your own to enjoy as a break from the short-tempered man and should you need anything, you were given permission to go straight to the currently ruling King and Queen.

 It had all begun with a kiss, albeit, an angry kiss; one of frustration and annoyance. That one kiss had stolen both your breath and your heart.

 .

 ~  ~  ~

 .

 “Oi, wench!”

 .

 You let out a quiet sigh, lifting your head to address Katsuki as he opened his bedroom door with a deafening slam, angry glare focused on you despite how you were simply folding his clothes so that you could put them away as you always did this time each week.

 “Is there something I can help you with, my lord?” You asked the question even though you hoped the answer was no, gently setting down one of his now folded tops on top of the nearby table; stacked neatly on top of the others that you had already done throughout the morning.

 “Is it true?!” You raised an eyebrow as you moved to pick up another article of clothing, beginning to fold it as he stormed up to you. It was strange to see him so outwardly angry towards you, but then again, his anger was well-known throughout the land; you just hadn’t seen it directed towards you before.

 “Could you be a little more specific, my lord? Many things are true but unless you specify, I can’t help you” You kept your voice calm as you looked towards him, mindlessly folding his clothes. The task had become as easy as breathing air since you had first been employed, since you were Katsuki’s personal maid, the tasks you had were mostly repetitive and made easy to do without thinking too much about it.

 “You were offered another job!” You nodded slowly at his clarification, confusion forming on your features when he became visibly angrier; practically seething when his question was confirmed. It was hard to understand, given that you had turned down many different offers of employment. The best thing you could come up with was that he was angry to hear that he was stuck with you; however, given that he hadn’t seemed to mind your presence before now, that was hard to believe.

 “Is there a problem? I would assume that you would be happy to hear that I’ve got no intention of leaving” You could see the way his anger faltered at your words, a brief flicker of confusion darting through his gaze before he was standing in front of you; eyes narrowed in suspicion and disbelief.

 “You’re staying…? Weren’t you offered more than what you earn here?” You nodded slowly at his question, reaching past him to place the folded clothing on top of the pile; deciding that it would be better for you to wait until you continued on with your task. The prince was agitated, which meant that you should probably give him all of your attention until his anger passed.

 “If you were offered more, then why are you staying?” His question made you smile, having to bite down on your bottom lip to prevent the giggle that threatened to slip out; the last thing that you needed was to stir the already agitated prince. Otherwise, you might have to take up that offer of employment.

 “I’m staying because I want to. I like it here; the work is good and I believe in loyalty to the people that have done right by me.” You murmured out your response softly, standing up so that you were chest to chest with the prince; a pleasant smile decorating your lips, not a whisper of a lie escaping you.

 “I’ve turned down a lot of job offers since coming here, my lord…but may I ask why the sudden interest? How did you even hear about this to begin with?” You tilted your head in vague curiosity while he scoffed, turning his head to the side so that you couldn’t see his expression; agitation still made obvious by his body language.

 “Your new employer sent a carriage for you. Mother asked me to fetch you.” Your eyes widened at his words, disbelief filling you until he decided to look back at you properly; his expression alerting you to the truth of his words. Though, you should have believed him to begin with; Katsuki Bakugou never did anything that he didn’t want to and that included lying.

 He despised lies, that had been something that you had learnt early on during your two-week trial as his maid.

 “My lord, please believe me. I have no idea why there’s a carriage here for me, I declined the offer immediately. I have no wish to leave my home.” He raised an eyebrow the moment you said the word ‘home’, giving a slight nod of his head before reaching out to cradle the back of your head with his hand; his lips crashing angrily down against your own in a breath-taking kiss.

 .

 “Continue your work. I want to speak with you once I clear up this bullshit.”

 .

 ~  ~  ~

 .

You moaned out softly, pressing your hands against Katsuki’s chest as he used his weight to pin you against the solid wooden door; his lips against your own and his hands gripping your thighs, lifting you against his hips.

 “Keep your fucking voice down (Name)” His instruction came out as a low groan of frustration while his lips travelled down to your jaw, sending welcomed shivers along your spine at the affection he was showering you with; he had been gone on a peace-treaty with his mother for a week.

 Clearly that had been much too long for the two of you to be apart.

 .

 “You make it sound easier than it is”

 .

 He snorted at your cheeky remark, nipping at your neck while his hands roamed your body, undressing you with silent skill as he went; leaving you as confused as ever. You never could understand how he had gotten so good at undressing you in such situations.

 “Yeah, well you know what happens if we’re caught. So, shut up already” He grumbled out the order, clearly dissatisfied with having to tell you to be quiet; unfortunately, it was a necessary part of your stolen moments together. If you were too loud and got caught, there would be consequences that the two of you couldn’t bear to risk.

 You moaned out quietly, biting down on your bottom lip as Katsuki buried himself inside of you, large hands going back to your thighs to keep proper hold of you while you squirmed in place; it wasn’t the first, nor would it be the last time he had you against the door to his bedroom, but that didn’t make it any less enjoyable.

 “You know, you always get so rough when you’re jealous” You whispered out the teasing words with a quiet giggle, gasping as Katsuki bit your boob firmly, his hips moving at a harsh pace that came hand in hand with Neito Monoma asking you to become his personal maid. Katsuki was a jealous man and that was made obvious whenever you happened to chat to someone that he deemed a threat.

 “You’re really bringing this up now?” Katsuki growled out the question, trailing nips and bites over your chest while you moved your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you with a stifled moan; your back arching from the pleasure that he sent racing through your body.

 “You’re the one that kicked Monoma out and dragged me away” Katsuki scoffed at your remark, keeping his head low as he thrust his hips, likely so that you couldn’t see the guilty expression on his features; it was obvious to the both of you that you were right, but having Katsuki admit it was a completely different matter.

 You whimpered out Katsuki’s name quietly when he brushed up against your sweet spot, the sound tipping him off and causing him to change the way he moved his hips; now hitting your spot with each hard thrust, your noises of pleasure beginning to grow louder as a result.

 “Better keep your voice down (Name)” You scowled at Katsuki’s taunting remark, moving a hand to tug at his hair roughly in displeasure before biting down on your bottom lip to stifle the cry of pleasure that had nearly spilled free. It was payback for mentioning Monoma, you knew that, but at the same time; it was impossible to resist teasing him.

 It was something only you could do without having him explode at you.

 .

 “You look so good like this…and all mine…”

 .

 Katsuki mumbled words made you smile as you rocked your hips down to meet his thrusts, a quiet moan managing to slip past your lips while he continued to fuck you against the door; not making nearly as much noise as you had expected it to make.

 “God…would you shut up?” You whispered out the request under your breath, trying your best not to cry out his name when he slapped his hand against your thigh, accompanying the action with a firm bite to the bruise that was already beginning to form from one of his earlier bites; more pleasure than pain.

 A quiet whimper escaped you as a familiar heat began to build up in the pit of your stomach, making it nearly impossible to focus on your goal of keeping quiet; as it always seemed to.

 “Oi, bite me if you have to…might not get as lucky as last time” Katsuki groaned low as he uttered the instruction to you, cursing out when you moved your head to bite down on his shoulder firmly; drowning the loud moan in his muscled body. Refusing to allow anyone but him to hear your noises of pleasure as your orgasm rocked through you.

 “Fuck…alright then” He growled out the remark under his breath, rolling his shoulder when you released your hold on him; instead riding out your orgasm with his thrusts, managing the bear with the pleasure-filled jolts that raced through your system while Katsuki worked towards his own release.

 Thankfully, you didn’t have to wait too long. Katsuki’s hips were already beginning to move at a rapid pace, his movement sloppy as his orgasm neared; burying himself inside of you as deep as he could moments later. His hot seed filling you.

 .

 “…I think we did pretty good this time.”