#sometimes it were just singular scenes that stuck with me

[seventeenlovesthree]

(in terms of general platonic group dynamics OR romantically!)

[madameaug]

Jungkook x Black OC Headcannons

Pairing: Jungkook x Jennette

Jungkook/Jennette: Jungkook was oblivious to the hints Jennette gave him. With his semi-famous status, he didn't want to make any assumptions that could cost him a dear friend. Jennette would be a talking stage with Jungkook for over a year.

Jungkook/Jennette: Jungkook flew Jennette out to Seoul to celebrate getting her Master's degree. He was so proud of her and wanted to treat her to the beautiful sights of his home country. Jungkook couldn't deny how good Jennette looked. The blinders of friendship were removed, and he saw Jennette in a new light. He was taking her to a bell tower that was a prized possession of South Korea. It was famous for its K-drama scene. The ringing of the bell signified the two love interests finding their soulmate. Jungkook loved that drama.

With Jennette staying in Korea for the next week, he contemplated re-watching the series with her. The pair looked up at the golden bell, shoulder to shoulder, when it let out a loud ring. Besides the potential hearing damage they may have gotten, Jungkook looked down at Jennette, smiling at her.

Jungkook/Jennette: Jennette was the first to introduce pet names to their relationship. She wasn't a fan of 'bae' or 'baby' she wanted something more unique. So she would try out different pet names on Jungkook til she found one that stuck.

"Hi stinka butt."

"Are you saying I stink?"

"Noo silly. It's a pet name." Jennette explained.

"I don't like that one."

"What about pookie?"

"Meh."

Jennette tapped her chin. "I got it! How about love bug." She squeezed on Jungkook's bicep, looking at him with a twinkle in her eye.

"That could work, it's cute."

Jungkook/Jennette: Jungkook prefers a private relationship to I public one. He has one singular post of him, and Jennette pinned on his Instagram, but that is it. He doesn't respond to questions about his relationship, nor does he frequently post her. But he makes it known that he is happily taken.

Jungkook/Jennette: Jennette is always asking Jungkook to teach her Korean. They have been together for a while, and hopes she could have a conversation with his parents one day. Jungkook does his best to teach her simple phrases.

"Repeat after me, annyeonhaseyo."

"I know how to say 'hello'. Teach me something else."

"Try 'naneun dangsin-uy adeulgwa salange ppajyeossseubnida. Naneun gyeolko geuleul tteonaji anh-eul geos-ida." Jungkook rattled off.

translation: i'm in love with your son. I'll never leave him.

Jennette nearly repeated the two sentences perfectly. Even coping Jungkook's busan accent. It took Jungkook by surprise as he smiled.

"Good job Jeanie!"

Jungkook/Jennette: The two are overly competitive. They will turn anything into a competition. They will see who can do the dishes faster. Or who can make the bed up the fastest. Sometimes they will literally go to a park just to race each other.

"Ready."

"Set." Jungkook bent down in a track star pose, eyes honed in on the trashcan on the other side of the park. He waited for Jennette to give the count. Three seconds pass and the next thing he sees is Jennette with a two feet advantage.

"GO!"

Jungkook put the burners on and ran his heart out to the trashcan.

Jungkook/Jennette: Jennette definitely sends Jungkook's trending TikTok dances for him to practice and learn with her. Although she never posts them, she keeps them on her camera roll and looks at them for good laughs.

Jungkook/Jennette: Whenever they do have an argument, they do have to separate for a little bit. Jennette often goes and takes a really long shower. The steam relaxes her and clears her head, so that she can come back and articulate her feelings and not be lost in weighted emotions. Jungkook is similar. He has a punching bag that he will physically release his frustration on. Neither of them want to let the tension linger around them, so they try to resolve their issues promptly.

Jungkook/Jennette: These two are foodies on another level. Their friends are always asking them for recommendations for food spots to try when they visit Atlanta. They are always expanding their palates. You don't even want to know how much money they spend on eating out. Tuesday night they are eating gyros, and on Sunday they could be eating chicken and waffles at a brunch spot. They love food! And if they aren't eating out then they are combining popular soul food dishes with Korean foods.

[fledbeast578]

Lostbelt Servants Often Don't Work as Chaldea Servants

I've reached a conclusion on why I dislike servant x Ritsuka pairings so much, and ended up spending a few hours thinking about some other thoughts.

When it comes to the gacha game format, you don't have enough time to develop every character equally, and certainly not the way fgo goes about it (Oh boy another lb6 centered event? You really shouldn't have Nasu...). As a result, oftentimes servants only ever get interludes (and sometimes events, but even those are shaky) to develop their bond with Ritsuka, and this is even worse for lostbelt/singularity villains, because they have to shed an entire dynamic and replace it with a new one. Sometimes this can work fine, or even improve the character, such as with characters like Cu Alter, Hessian Lobo, Jeanne Alter, Jason, and even arguably Avicebron, but oftentimes they can sort of... flounder.

Cu and Jeanne Alter succeeded because fundamentally there was that initial gap that comes from an enemy, not only because they were a villain but because we simply haven't developed a bond yet. So they showed us it, they showed Cu Alter learning to trust and rely on us in his interludes, we saw Jeanne do the same across multiple events. They didn't just abandon their old identity they had to built a new one off the corpses strewn by their old one.

Characters like Anastasia... don't get that, they get a facsimile of a bond developed because they don't want to restart from the very beginning of the relationship pole or be obligated to use all of their lostbelt characteristics.

So rather than showing Ritsuka and Anastasia growing a close bond and her developing a crush on him, we get one dream sequence where Anastasia confided in him that she kind of hates the people who killed her parents. Then it's just... "oh my master is utterly adorable" from her and then "Why don't you kiss her, master?" from Medea

None of this was earned or developed, at best it was implied because other people say similar stuff about Ritsuka, but notably, none of those scenes include Anastasia. They're writing this interlude like it's an alternate timeline where Anastasia was a main servant who watched you grow and develop similar to Mash (Thanks to @300iqprower for making me realize this). There is no unique relationship, there's no event where they were forced together, we just have to assume that at some point Anatasia and Ritsuka hungout a bunch and she got a crush on him.

It feels more like a filled in template for a servant-master relationship than anything actually developing. Why does Anastasia like Ritsuka? Because he's nice, trustworthy, and strong. Great, the same applies to Mash, Ushiwakamaru, Melusine and so so many other servants. There is nothing to me that says she would love Ritsuka for any reason unique to Anastasia, in the same way I can look at her and Kadoc and see why they love each other in the crypter manga. There's no Ritsuka discussing how he can relate to having his opportunity to grow into an adult ruined, there's no Ritsuka having to fight by her side for an extended period of time, there's no Ritsuka helping her come to terms with her family's death, it's just... nothing. It's Anastasia having a crush on Ritsuka because it's Ritsuka.

And like... we have to see this this with so many servants. As much as I love Barghest and find Melusine interesting, to a massive degree they were made worse after lb6. The desire to protect Fae Britain and Aurora respectively was an intrinsic part of their character, and when none of those exist, there's just a big hole in their motivations and relationships. But rather than write elaborate depictions of what changes in their personality there is, Melusine decides that Ritsuka is their lover and Barghest does... cooking? And also wants to fuck Master sometimes.

Worse than remaining stagnant a lot of lostbelt characters actively plateau. Stuck in a hell where all their characterization is dependent on the unique setting of a lostbelt, but also being physically unable to do anything with that setting because then they have to deal with the baggage associated with it.

This is to the point where the only characters who become better or remain well written after their lostbelts are overwhelming the ones who completely sideset this issue. Yu Mei-Ren and Qin? Popped into throne of spirits. Percival, Habetrot, Aesclepius, and Gareth? Literally completely different characters. William Tell, and Odysseus? Lostbelt fuckery. So they develop a new character from scratch and are forced to deal with that.

But a lot of servants don't get that. We know Melusine's past and generic character traits, the game implies (doesn't show) how they grow to like Ritsuka, so we don't get to see any more of that develop. Rather we get to see whatever they decide they would fit best for the present, which typically is uninteresting and repeated.

[alangdorf]

Welp, the ref lineup still isn’t done cause I haven’t drawn Shion yet, and the belated valentines I’ve been working on are gonna be like at least a month late cause I just planned three more, but what I did do these past couple weeks is start writing a fanfic and then immediately abandon it to go draw a bunch of only tangentially-related suzutsubas (except for that first pic; that’s a scene from it, albeit one I haven’t written yet), only half of which are fit for public posting (one of ‘em I could make a few edits and feel ok about posting sometime; it’s not that out there, it’s just, y’know. Hamal Cine Bad End Hyperbolic Torture Chamber. I’m usually very “whatever happens happens” about my art but if I don’t show some restraint I know I’ll end up stuck in there forever), but hey, since I’ve been teasing them for ages and finally have some finished stuff with them, take a couple Suzumii! Also gonna ramble abt headcanons under the cut (and it will be LONG)

To begin, a note abt my Len’en gender/pronoun headcanons: as a they/them preferrer myself, I’m thrilled that most people just stick with those for everyone, but I’ve developed some more detailed headcanons as I go through working on designs and I’ll generally be using those. Don’t worry though, most of them are still nonbinary and basically all of them are trans/gq. Relevant ones for this post are Tsubakura: they/them nonbinary (transmasc to some degree) and Suzumi: cis female, question mark?? (to be elaborated on); for clarity’s sake I usually use she/her for Arde and Hamal Cine individually and plural they for the system collectively (also I don’t usually use their nicknames, dunno why), but singular they for Benet (the wiki says Benny is probably short for Benetnasch so I’m assuming that’s their actual name) for reasons which will also be elaborated on (sort of).

Aaalso this clearly isn’t autobiographical or anything but I think I’m subconsciously putting a lot of myself into Suzumi because 1) we do look pretty similar (brown wavy bob + blue eyes) and 2) given their current status as both the main antagonist and the most well-known plural Len’en character (I get the impression that Hooaka also being plural isn’t super common knowledge; I mean it took me several read-throughs of their wiki page and their dialogue with BPoHC Secret Team to get what they were getting at lol) I am probably way too anxious about doing a bad stereotype. Just an observation and also probably partially why I’ve even ended up with so much headcanon for them in the first place

And before I get into the thick of it, notes on derivations from canon: I’m running with the assumption that Suzumi being a system is a relatively recent development tied to whatever incident it was that caused the falling-out, since Tsubakura is like the only person who seems at all familiar with Hamal (including Mitori/Chouki/Fumikado, but they’re more easily explained away as just having met with one of the other alters the few times they’ve interacted) even though she’s supposedly usually the one fronting. They don’t seem to know the mechanics of it though, judging by their confusion when Arde implied that she and Hamal are different people. So basically, I’ll be referring to pre-incident Suzumi as a different character from any of the other three. (Ngl I am very influenced by Dissociation Constant on that and just in general [when will my wife The One and Only Suzutsuba Fic return from the war…..]) I was also debating whether to have Suzumi have any history with the gang before starting to work at the lab/whether stuff would happen around high school or college age, cause they keep referring to everything happening “a long time ago” and I know I, a 24-year-old, feel like stuff that happened five years ago was like yesterday, but I do have the pandemic and not really doing much of anything for most of that time to reckon with so like, eh. College age makes more sense in my head and so does the dynamic of like, Suzumi was only introduced into the friend group (she was acquainted w Hoojiro and Yabu already though bc lab) because she was dating Tsubakura and since that ended, and badly (understatement of the century), they have extremely little reason to be civil with each other and also interacting at all is really awkward.

Ok now on with it! Either end of high school or beginning of college, Suzumi ends up interning at Tsubakura’s lab for college credit (Tsuba’s already practically a department head despite being like 17 or something because. Idk. Who even knows what’s up with them) and she’s like. Only wears t-shirts and jeans (bought a bunch of khakis for this job though), [reading] glasses from the men’s section, hates leaving her hair down (it’s lab safety anyways). Repressed queer in denial, you know the type. Starts interacting a lot with Mx. Tsubakura “wears short shorts that everybody thinks are actually a skirt and also uses ore and omae almost exclusively” Enraku who seems to have everything all figured out and is immediately starstruck (GIRL WHY?? they are such a mess). Lots of “do I want to date them or do I want to be them” confusion (this will be relevant later); eventually evolves into the “am I trans or just a lesbian” question (not that they would need to be attracted to women to be into Tsubakura but you get the picture), which never quite gets answered.

In any case, they do eventually start dating (Tsubakura thinks she’s cute and smart so they reciprocate), and they’re not like super great together cause Tsubakura is emotionally constipated at the best of times (Suzumi’s into that though) and neither of them are the most mentally/emotionally healthy people even back then and also Tsubakura is more or less Suzumi’s boss which is weird, but they’re kind of ok??? Tsubakura’s mom dies at some point, also they move in together (college housing is expensive), the rest of the crew at the very least tolerate Suzumi, etcetera.

And then…! [insert catastrophic event here]!! I don’t have a shot to call on this yet cause I have no idea what it could’ve been (and I’m sure it’ll get revealed at some point anyways); I’m just banking on it being something extremely not mundane and something where you could reasonably set the blame on either (or neither) party cause they sure both seem convinced the other is way worse, huh! In Tsubakura’s case at least, blaming Suzumi is partially a defense mechanism so their self-loathing doesn’t get the better of them over it (guess what the fic was supposed to be about, lol).

The worst part of all this business though is that they DON’T break up over it immediately and it just makes everything orders of magnitude worse for everyone involved. Tsubakura and Arde have hate sex MORE THAN ONCE………… they would both really rather forget about it. Hamal thinks it’s hilarious, ofc, but the less said about her, the better. And Benet… exists??? The only idea that I’m running off of for them atm is the observation that I think they’re the only character with flat black eyes other than Tsubakura/Tsurubami and the subsequent idle thought, “hey if someone malded so hard about a breakup that they ended up with an introject of their ex would that be messed up or what?” So make of that what you will. (Oh and it may have been obvious that this is what I was going for but Hamal is femme and Arde is butch and they’re constantly squabbling abt aesthetic presentation. Having Arde be straight-up male would’ve been too straightforward of an interpretation and I think it’s funnier this way)

The canonically mentioned murder attempts start taking place and I’m leaning towards Tsubakura eventually being convinced to move out even though it was originally their apartment, albeit mostly just because the wikipedia page for house sparrows mentions that they’re known to take over swallows’ nests, usually after they’ve been abandoned, but they will sometimes drive away or kill the current occupants, and that was a very fun fact to come across when specifically doing research for Len’en but idk how else to incorporate it lol. And so on and so forth up until the present time.

Uhhh is that all I have atm? I think so! Anyway, I think I finally shook out all my suzutsuba doodles (and rambling, though I do still have that fic to work on. idk whether I’ll be able to finish it though; I started strong with an extended metaphor in the middle but Iiiii’m not sure if I can successfully write my way up to it while making it make sense. Also I may draw pretty slow but I write even slower!! Eh I’m sure I’ll post some of it sometime) for the time being so I should theoretically be able to finish up my bigger projects now. Maybe I’ll have the valentines ready in time for white day? We’ll see!

[physalian]

POVS and Past vs Present Tense (Or, the Pros and Cons of Limiting your Narrator)

This blog got over 300 notes in a single day, I'm almost at 1000! Thank you to everyone who likes, reblogs, and subscribes, you all keep me motivated in these dark times.

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Today we’re looking at the pros and cons of the different points of view through which you can tell your story, but full disclosure, sometimes it all comes down to how you as the author feel most comfortable writing, regardless of the story you are telling.

So this is less *what you should do* and more *what you might want to think about but don’t have to do*.

Narrating POVs come in these flavors:

First Person (FPOV)

Second Person (SPOV)

Third Person Limited (TPL)

Third Person Omniscient (TPO)

What you decide for your story doesn’t really matter, only that whatever you pick, you *must* stick with (unless you’re James Patterson who doesn’t give a damn). The same applies with whether or not you decide to write in past or present tense, so I’ll be covering both topics in this post.

You can choose whatever you want, but the type of story you write can benefit from different POVS. An intimate romance with few characters? FPOV, possibly with alternating narrators. An epic fantasy with an ensemble cast that spans the globe? You’d miss out on so much of the story trapped with one narrator.

First-Person POV

I… hate writing first person POV. I don’t hate that it exists and I love reading it, I just can’t write any of my characters in FPOV, it’s too weird. To anyone struggling to give their characters strong and distinct personalities, stepping away from the “I/me” pronouns may help you.

With that said! FPOV is by no means any lesser than any other POV. FPOV is, obviously, when your narrator narrates with terms like “I, me, we, us.” You are reading in their head, their train of thought, their internal monologue.

Pros: This about as intimate a look inside the story as you can get, you are zero degrees removed from the action. The biggest benefit is how well the audience comes to understand the narrating character as all your time is spent with them exclusively, unless the story head-hops. Every scene is colored by the lenses of the narrator’s biases and the knowledge they have of the story.

Cons: Unless you head-hop, you risk losing out on much of the rest of the story. Other characters can only be viewed through the biases of the narrator and any story happening away from the narrator is unseen, because they’re not there to witness it.

FPOV gives you the most flexibility in coloring your text with personality, think Holden Caufield from Catcher in the Rye. Every page bleeds with Holden’s thoughts and musings on his world.

However, FPOV, versus TPL, traps you within the senses of the narrator. You can’t get away with lines like “he didn’t notice XYZ happening in the background” or “he might have missed this subtle tell” because there’s zero room for ambiguity unless your tone allows for some comedic freedom.

You *can* say things like “Later, I would reflect back on X” or “Had I been paying attention, I might’ve seen Y” but those lines are almost always followed up with “But I didn’t in the moment and now I’m screwed regardless.”

If you find yourself stuck with a scene of a bunch of characters of all the same gender and you have to balance your paragraphs with names versus pronouns, FPOV does, at least, remove one of them for you with “I”.

Beyond simply using “I/me” pronouns, you can go the route of Anthem. Ayn Rand’s Anthem is written in first person, but with plural pronouns and when I read it in middle school, I spent the entire novel thinking all the different “theys” and “we’s” were entire groups of people acting and not the a singular being because it was middle school and pronouns weren’t a topic of discussion.

There was a scene where “we” (gender neutral singular protagonist) sees “them” (gender neutral love interest) doing… yoga or something beyond a fence, and in my head I was picturing like, ten dudes watching ten ladies all do synchronized yoga. It was funky.

Second-Person

This one almost doesn’t count because it’s so rare. Second person is reserved, I think, for three situations: Romance/erotica, self-help books, and horror/thriller works.

SPOV uses terms like “you think, you see, you feel, you do X”. It’s self-indulgent and I’ve never actually read a fictional work written in it because it’s too weird. SPOV is as intimate as you can get, because *you* are the protagonist.

I scroll right past all the "character/reader" fanfics but they have their audience, and I've never picked up an actual published romance novel written in SPOV, but I'm sure they exist for their own wish-fulfilment purposes.

SPOV in horror deserves more content and attention. The most iconic example I can think of is the storyline through Michael Jackson’s “Thriller”. In it, the narrator tells the tale of you, intrepid hero, who find yourself in the middle of the Thriller, and details your demise at the claws and teeth of disco zombies.

Second-person fiction relies on what your protagonist does more than who they are, as too-strong of a personality limits the reader’s ability to get in the headspace of their fictional VR-goggles. In the “Thriller” example, the story tells entirely of your physiological reactions (you’re paralyzed with fear, unable to scream, etc), not your desires and emotions, beyond terror.

Third-Person Limited

*cracks knuckles* My Favorite! TPL is very much like FPOV, except instead of using “I think” you’d use “He/she/they/it thinks”. TPL is still contained within the box of following a singular narrator at any given time, but the audience isn’t experiencing the novel through the eyes of the narrator, they’re watching it through the imaginary cameraman following them. Depending on how much personality you write your narration with, TPL can be nigh indistinguishable from FPOV.

If your narrator experiences pain, or gets knocked out in a car crash or a fistfight, the narration is still limited by their consciousness and awareness. The scene doesn’t continue on after the narrator passes out.

Also, as a writer, it’s a *lot* easier to write scenes your audience demands (like romance) if you’re aro/ace and/or too squicked out trying to write it in first person but still wanting to deliver. Same goes for violence/ horror/ combat, anything with a lot of emotion and drama that you can’t bring yourself to write as “I feel such and such so much right now” can be intimidating. Then it’s not happening to you, it’s happening to those poor schmucks unlucky enough to be characters in your book, and then it’s much more fun.

TPL and FPOV both favor the internal monologue, the only difference is the pronouns through which the narration is given. TPL also tends to distinguish direct thoughts by the narrator within the style of the text. This means putting the thought in italics most of the time, or adding in a “she thought” like a dialogue tag.

Third-Person Omniscient

If third-person limited was being the cameraman, third-person omniscient is being the bird watching from above, or God. TPO is a “third” narrator who tends to not be an active character within the story, just “the narrator” watching every other character go through life.

In some cases, you could make the omniscient narrator also in first person as a non-character, but they would have to be some higher power, or make your story a fourth-wall-breaking meta commentary, a story within a story told by an unrelated storyteller.

TPO suffers from lacking intimacy. You’re two degrees removed from the thoughts and feelings of the character and the story is colored with the personality of the narrator, not any one character you’re following (if there is at all a personality to the narrator).

Children’s books tend to be TPO because they’re not that deep. When I say children’s books I mean like Rainbow Fish, or the Very Hungry Caterpillar, not children’s chapter books.

But on the other hand, many classics are written in TPO. I believe the A Series of Unfortunate Events books are written in TPO with a *very* colorful omniscient narrator. The Chronicles of Narnia are also, I think, written in TPO with the absence of a distinct narrating personality, it’s simply the voice through which the story unfolds (it’s been a while since I’ve read either and can’t recall).

TPO tends to lend itself toward fantasy and fairytales because a colorful narrator just fits the tone and the unnatural reality of your world. The narrator of A Series of Unfortunate Events would be very out of place in a book like The Great Gatsby because it would only distract from the story, instead of enhance it.

Head-Hopping and Multiple POV

Head hopping should only be used when you do it on purpose in an established FPOV or TPL work. If you change perspectives mid-narration without any indication that you’re doing it on purpose, that’s just sloppy writing and you’ll confuse the heck out of your readers.

The term “head hopping” tends to be used when writers do it poorly, versus simply “multiple narrators”. This works best with an ensemble cast, or when the author doesn’t want to limit the breadth of their story to only the protagonist’s perspective.

The narration can shift between any number of characters, but I wouldn’t go higher than five or six with rare exception because it’s too many characters to follow. You can follow the protagonist and a couple of their friends, the protagonist and the villain, the different members of team protagonist – the list goes on.

It’s entirely up to you how you want to physically structure your POV shifts. Some authors jump between multiple narrators within a chapter (myself included), some give entire chapters to one narrator at a time, or a chunk of chapters in a row. Sometimes the narrating POV is signaled with a giant banner for their name or the scene opens with the narrator’s name within the first few sentences to let you know who you’re following.

POV shifts without the big banner works best when your narrators have very distinct personalities coloring their narration, see this post about humanizing your characters and giving them voice.

How each character speaks, how they see their world, the idioms and metaphors they use in their internal monologue, the cadence in how they tell the story, the syntax -- all of these help justify your choice to shift POVs beyond the flexibility of telling more story. You know you’ve succeeded when you can write an entire page in the new POV without naming your narrator and your audience still knows who it is.

Head-hopping in bad form can be an easy mistake to make, and easiest to make in third-person limited, because you’re already one degree removed. Unless you are writing from a telepath’s perspective, any time you begin writing the thoughts and feelings of a non-narrating character in TPL, you are head-hopping.

If Jane is narrating an argument with Mark, and we cut aside to suddenly start detailing Mark’s feelings on the matter, we have broken the POV. Jane cannot know exactly what Mark is feeling, she’s not Mark. Instead, Jane can look at him and assume what he’s feeling based on his expressions and extrapolate on what he might be thinking.

In which case her thoughts on the matter would be tagged with “Mark seemed to think X,” or “Mark looked hurt”. Doing it incorrectly looks like “Mark thought X” or “Mark was hurt”.

You can get away with “Character was hurt” with any of the following tacked on:

“...they thought/presumed/assumed/suspected/guessed”

“... that much obvious”

“... they could tell”

So long as the tag reflects how the narrator interprets the scene.

Multiple narrators inevitably lend themselves to a longer story and thicker book and a perfect example is the Percy Jackon series and its follow-up, Heroes of Olympus.

Percy Jackson is a rather unique case of shifting POVS. The first five books of the series are entirely FPOV from his perspective. We follow Percy and only Percy the entire time.

The second series hops between TPL perspectives, with the benefit of exploring other characters…. and the massive disappointment of your protagonist for five whole books being completely omitted as a narrator from his final run (but that’s for another day).

The books of the second series are doorstoppers because there’s so much more plot with multiple arcs now being written for each one. HOO is a “banner style” head-hopper, giving chunks of chapters to a narrating character at any given time and following only three to four narrators for a given book.

There was a book our teacher read in elementary school, blandly titled School with a peace sign and a bus on the cover and I have no way to google it because of its stupidly generic title. In it, the entire short story has at least ten narrators and it worked because there weren’t ten different story arcs, it was all the same story just told through ten different perspectives. It was less an “ensemble cast of rich and fulfilling heroes” and more “ten children each argue why they remember the incident the best”.

Twilight hops in later books, with entire swaths of Breaking Dawn divvied up between the three main characters. The Red Queen series and Throne of Glass also hop and it seems, to me at least, that, regardless of genre, multiple narrators are much more common in recent publications.

Maximum Ride is a funky rule-breaker. For reasons unknown, the author decided to write in FPOV for the protagonist, then jump perspectives to TPL for the other characters. It’s incredibly distracting. Why not just write the entire story in shifting FPOV? Or entirely in TPL?

There is plenty of merit to *not* rotating narrators. I like doing it because I like not being limited to only following one character through the entire story. However, creativity thrives in a box and not knowing what's happening outside that box can be equally entertaining. Following one character also forces the plot to center on that character (though doesn't always give you a protagonist with agency). It leaves plenty of holes for the audience to fill in missing information as well when side characters are off doing whatever and the narrator isn't there to witness it.

Present vs Past Tense

Tense, like head-hopping, is easy to mess up if you’re not careful, and both have their pros and cons.

Books written in present tense have the benefit of being “present”. You follow the action as it unfolds, uncovering mysteries as the characters do with the added oomph of it simply being written as it happens.

Hunger Games is written in the present and the added “oomph” is that this is a hellish dystopian battle royale and it being “present” subconsciously clues the reader in on the possibility that Katniss might not survive to tell the story back to us, she can die at any moment.

Books written in past tense have the option to get cheeky, since the narrator survived the story long enough to go back and write it down for you. Some books might begin with a retrospective in the opening lines or the prologue by the narrator warning the reader about the story ahead or insisting they were an idiot for letting things play out the way they did.

Most stories written in past tense don’t think twice about it. Past tense is simply comfortable for the author to write in and it by no means spares their heroes from dying simply because of the narration having to exist.

If you tend to write in one or the other and you switch it up for a different story, you, my friend, have quite the uphill battle. You might find yourself having to comb back through entire chapters worth of content fixing your verbs because you just didn’t notice the accidental shift.

Future tense does exist, but it tends to go with stories written in second person and I’ve never read a fictitious work with it, only in bits and pieces in self help books and, again, that doesn’t really count.

—

TL;DR: How you narrate your work and in what tense it’s written is generally divorced from the genre and story you’re writing and has no impact on how the story reads. Any book with an ensemble cast benefits from multiple POVS and books in the fantasy/ supernatural/ fairtyale genre can benefit from an omniscient narrator, but it’s hardly required. First person POV gives the broadest opportunity to develop one singular character as intimately as possible, at the cost of everyone else. Third person POV removes the reader directly from the action, but is hardly inferior and can be nearly identical to FPOV save for the difference in pronouns used.

Regardless, inexperienced authors beware, head-hopping and tense-changing are easy mistakes to make. Stay vigilant and keep practicing and anything is fixable.

[saladmix]

HII I LOVE YOUR FIC SO MUCH!! IT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME!! SERIOUSLY THE BEST THING I'VE READ THIS WHOLE YEAR!!

this might have already been answered but I'd like to ask what was your inspiration for writing a tmnt horror story? and what are some of your favorite horror books/movies/etc. ?

again "The Day the World Broke" is so amazing I don't even know how to properly articulate how good it is

AHH THANK YOU this fills my cold dead heart to the brim with joy <3 I'm so glad you're enjoying it I'm truly so warmed by the fact that it has gotten any pick up at all given the wild genre!

And thank you for sending questions omg please don't mind me as a ramble for forever because I could talk about this kind of stuff all day (and I have, much to friend and family despair).

The impetus for TDTWB was actually me driving back late at night from a friend's place. It was REAL foggy, the kind of fog where you can't see in front of you and have to rely on the small road markers right as they come into sight. The mist in the story is almost its own character, I love how alive it feels (and how it sometimes very much IS alive, SOS). But that's where I kind of originally built the idea out on that drive home.

But I consume a huge amount of horror/suspense media so there are so many elements of different things that have kind of come together and coalesced into this story. You see a lot of elements of Silent Hill, Resident Evil, and Evil Within baked into it, especially with the monster element. I really wanted to go big or go home with some of those creatures. I myself love a good creature flick but there was nothing more fun for my friends and I screaming in front of a game when a new horrifying monster came on for us to fight. It just reminds me of those times, where it's scary, sure, but mostly the feeling of 'Oh my goooooood what the hell!' that I really enjoy.

There are also a ton of other movie influences and some of them are more subtle and based on singular scenes that get kind of expanded upon. For instance, there's a scene in the First Omen (skip over if you don't want to be spoiled for the scene, but it is in the trailer!) where our girl is sitting in a dark room, saying it isn't real, and a voice answers back "what's not real?". That stuck with me for a while I really loved that so a lot of Leo's Demon Shredder experience is kind of build on that singular feeling of sudden dread.

But as with some of the good horror movies, it's not just about the scares and the monsters. A real desire for me when writing horror is digging into that humanity piece, a concept you can see across a lot of horror series and books. I wanted each of these boys to have their own arc to contend with and some are more subtle and others are more, how you say, extremely obvious. But they were all very purposefully built in. It was important for me to make these characters vibrant and dimensional and it was not hard, because it's TMNT and we love these turtle boys! But I was hyper-aware that I'm doing an AU version that is pretty atypical, with what is essentially a regular family of teenagers having to navigate the end of the world. So I'm so touched that people love them as much as I do!

I don't even know if I'm answering the question at this point! My goodness. But I WILL wrap it up with some of my favorite recent media that I've consumed, otherwise this list would grow beyond anyone's desire to read <3

Books:

Hex by Thomas Oldeheuvelt (This felt like a really unique premise that really speaks to the whole humanity is the monster theme)

Sister, Maiden, Monster by Lucy A. Snyder (Not for the faint of heart! But boy was it a wild trip that I thought about for weeks after I finished it)

Movies:

Heretic (just came out, super eerie for me I loved the build up)

Smile 2 (I love me a movie that trips into Uncanny Valley, I found the scares unique and fun, but for me I loved the character, drew me right in!)

Oddity (SOOOO eerie, super obsessed with it)

TV Shows:

The Haunting of Hill House (I highly recommend this one for the family drama behind the horror, it's such a fun, beautiful time)

Thanks for the ask!! I really loved it, and I love talking about this story and horror so please ask away any time. Thank you so very much for reading the story too!

[scummy-writes]

How do you deal with writer's block? How do you execute ideas even with writer's block?

ohhh this is a good question. I may not have good answers.

It may depend on the type of writer's block you have, as I feel like there isn't just one singular over-encompassing type.

Sometimes, the writer's block is having all the inspiration, but nothing is coming out. This one plagues me the most because 90% of my fanfics and similar nowadays are just me daydreaming 24/7, and writing some of those daydreams down. Like a lil movie in the background. In theory I could write so much, but I struggle with actually putting pen to paper and considering the actual word choices used.

What I end up doing here is read or....write.... So the reading I try to find a published book that is different from my usual writing style and removed from fandomism, this is to personally help me distance myself from fanfic a little, to see how the pacing in a longer piece may be- which can help with learning to describe 'smaller' scenes and movements, or see how the writer handles scene transitions and similar. And, well, I read! And when I'm reading, I will usually pick the writing apart.

"I really like the way the writer described this movement, how could I describe that in my own words?" , "Wow, you can see how these last few paragraphs built up the foreshadowing for this turn of events, lets break down how they did that." , and... well... sometimes it does turn into "Yikes!! I really dislike that!!! If I were to rewrite that in my own way, how would that go...?"

And I've found that I often struggle to finish books, because I'll get that train of thought going so much that I'll have to put down the book to actually write.

Another thing I will do is that I will open up a wip, have it in a window taking up half my screen, then open a blank document to put on the other half, and rewrite everything word for word. This often helps me catch mistakes, odd sentences, and similar, and it's an easy way to simulate actually being able to write without having the 'blank document woes' where I'm too scared to defile a blank document. I find that once I get in the process of this with some good music, once I catch up to where my wip left off, I've rewritten a few sentences or added in more details I thought of with a fresh mind, and I'm able to go past where I initially left off.

(thats how I set up the screen)

If it's the type of writer's block where you have NO ideas, no will to write and only the vague *want* to write............ you may need some rest. A lot of people talk about social batteries, on how people need to recharge after a social function with some alone time or similar, and then their battery feels recharged! well... You need to do that for creative outlets as well!! You need to make sure you're taking care of your body, and also your mind. Recharge your creative mind by reading, watching, and listening to new or old and beloved things! Play a fun video game with a story that's interesting to you, read a cheesy romance novel, maybe even just clean some dishes and daydream as you do so. Once you remove 'gotta write gotta write gotta write gotta write' from the equation, and chilling out a bit, you end up getting inspired again after a while.

Typically with this one, I will end up writing notes that are very. bland.

So... if it's neither of those, or you have tried a lot of these things, then my next advice would be to try some basic writing exercises. Look up prompt lists, try to write the first thing that comes to mind when one catches your eye- i dont care if it's shakespeare or dahl, you just smack it down on paper. Much like drawing, you gotta do warm ups with writing! it helps a lot when you're stuck! If prompts don't work, move on to rewriting a classic story scene or story in general with your favorite characters, think about how they would act in the situation instead and rewrite it. If its fanfiction, look at some of the events in the game or routes, rewrite it with you or your mc, or how you wished the route/event went instead. write with friends! have friends send you prompts or detail a vague outline for you and try your hand at it!

If it stems from being too embarassed to read what you're writing.... turn the text itty bitty and just Type, to where you ignore what you're seeing and are managing to get words down. You can always make the text bigger when you feel less embarassed!

That's what I can offer off the top of my head!! I think there are plenty of more tips than this that exist out there, absolutely, so maybe some folks reading this might be able to offer to explain what helps them!

[arcadia-of-pluto]

Galaxy Corner; ✨️

Hey guys! I decided since I'm going to try to post things more often, I thought a nice little bio/about section was necessary. So let's get into it! 🩷 And I hope this doesn't disappoint you, if y'all were waiting for an update

Age; it's in my bio, but I thought it would be good to have here too. As of this post, I'm 23.

Behind the Name ☆; I go by Pluto online since I wanted to see if I liked the name enough to use irl. A few years back when I realized I was non-binary, I thought a special "name" was necessary so I chose Pluto since it's, well, special to me. Pluto has always been my favourite planet (I cried when it was declared a dwarf planet) and Pluto has always been my favourite roman god so the name just stuck. I always felt like the name was connected to me and I feel really comfortable using it as such.

Oh! And the word "arcadia" in my username means "a region or scene of simple pleasure and quiet." So I feel like my username translates to "safe place of/for pluto"!

Sexuality & Gender identity; this isn't a necessary thing, per say, but I just wanted to add it. I don't mind any pronouns used toward me, I don't really have a preference either. It is what it is and all of that. When it comes to sexuality, I assume I'm pan? I really only care for personality, but I do have a preference for men or more masculine people.

About Me; I dropped out of college, because I couldn't afford to dorm and I submitted my schedule way too late so I got classes I didn't want or simply couldn't do. I have crippling, social anxiety but once I warm up to someone, I'm 100% a yapper. I can ramble along all day if I'm on a topic I like. I have rosacea, which is a skin condition where the blood vessel in your cheeks are inflamed. It gives off an appearance of constantly blushing or sometimes a bad sunburn depending on the day. It also causes acne breakouts so very fun. I have four tattoos, all small, and I only like two of them. The other two are a bit too basic for my liking. I've dated twice in my life, both horrible experiences. I could say so much about them but that's a topic for another day. I'm left-handed and I used to draw a lot but now I struggle even holding a pencil since it's been so long. And that's...honestly all that's interesting about me! Nothing much else, I'm pretty boring otherwise. My personality really reflects off of the person who I'm talking to so, otherwise, I struggle trying to come up with a mental image of myself. 🩷 well that got too deep-

Experience; I've been rping since I was ten, writing oneshots on wattpad since I was fifteen until I stopped when my 600k views oneshot fic on wattpad got taken down for mature content 😞 so I do apologize if I'm work comes off as dated or a bit childish and short! I've never wrote long form content besides multi chapters of a singular oneshot

Plans for the future; I do have a part time job, but I'm planning on writing more fics and oneshots in the future! I have up to nineteen chapters written so far on ToF (Twist of Fate) and I have been writing down ideas for new oneshots or even shorter series for the future. I'm not sure how long ToF will be but I doubt it'll be more than 100...100 seems like a lot, and Love and Deepspace is still an ongoing game so I can't exactly wrap up the story any time soon. I also plan on posting some original works to here, though most will be isekai-themed since I've been really into those kinds of stories lately. My google docs are filled the the brim with ideas

Upload schedule; Weekends will be when I'm most active when it comes to posting since I work Monday through Friday, but I'll be semi-active throughout the day. I have a little bit of downtime at work, and a lot of downtime before and after work so I'll have time to reply to comments or follow anyone back!

Time Zone; For uploading purposes, I thought it would be good to disclose this. It's not too big of a deal, I feel. My time zone is CST.

Any other Fandom stories; I might get back to my old BTS ideas. I have a few ideas involving them so I might also add them. This is a multi-fandom account after all, but my main focus will be Love and Deepspace.

Currently reading; I get a lot of my inspiration from different animes, manga, and manhwas so you might seem common tropes reflected in my work. A lot of isekai and regression manhwas like "Who made me a princess?", "Actually, I was the real one.", and "Villains are Destined to Die" for example are really good and really got me into liking the isekai genre as a whole.

Side notes; While I do look over my writing, there will probably be some spelling errors or swapped words since my brain tends to skip over words whenever I type so if you notice anything like that, don't be afraid to let me know. If it's a huge mistake, I'll fix it but if it's something simple- like needing an extra comma or something, I'll leave it since it doesn't affect the overall reading quality.

Now, with that all being said, I hope you're excited for the next two or three chapters that I'm going to post this weekend 🩷 Some of my favourite parts are coming up soon!

Also, if I need to add anything else, just let me know! I've never had to talk about myself much, if at all ○o。.

[peachymilkandcream]

Hello! I have a scenario in mind!

What if Evelyn accidentally breaks one of Levi's favourite teacups and gets really scared. She decides to hide it from him for sometime and instead seduces him and has sex with him to put him in a good mood. After the deed is done, she waits for sometime before confessing her mistake to him. What would he do? Punish her or spare her?

Levi x Evelyn -> Just Pretend

(A/N: Hello to you too Anon! Giving me devious little ideas with these two. Thanks for the request ^^)

WARNINGS: noncon, dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, violence, mind breaking, misogyny, etc.

==========================================

Evelyn froze for a good five minutes after the initial crash. She was stuck in a state of disbelief, as if she stared at the shattered pieces long enough they would just disappear. Levi loved this cup, it was white on the outside with a singular gold band, but the inside was black with with a gold rose and vine pattern on it. Now that pattern mocked her as it stared into frightened eyes. Evelyn cursed her clumsiness, all she could do to fill her mind-numbingly dull days was read. Levi always would buy whichever ones she wanted, reasoning that if she had new, constructive things to do she'd spend less time escaping. It had come back to bite her in the ass, not looking where she was going and brushing it off the clean dish rack.

As she heard footsteps on the stair adrenaline kicked in. It wasn't Levi, he wouldn't be home for another hour if Erwin or Petra didn't keep him. Normally the thought of Petra flashing her tits at Levi just to get him to look her way had her rolling her eyes. She loathed Levi but expected loyalty nonetheless from both sides. Now she hoped Petra did annoy him enough to slow him down, buy her some more time. On the stair however was probably a maid, Evelyn swore they enjoyed her suffering and eagerly told Levi all of her faults, listening in when she got beaten or fucked senseless. The heartless bitches.

"Mrs. Ackerman? Is everything okay? I heard a crash."

Evelyn rolled her eyes, the snitch was probably hurrying to catch her in the act. "I'm fine. Just go back to what you were doing." Evelyn raced to grab the broom and dustpan, furiously sweeping.

However before she was done the maid in question, a girl her own age, enters the kitchen. Once she takes in the scene her eyes widen, the same maid who always was quick to tell on Evelyn. Their eyes meet and the girl opens her mouth to scream, but before she does Evelyn grabs her and pins her against the wall, covering her mouth with her hand.

"Listen to me you insufferable bitch. You think I don't know the shit you pull to gain Levi's favour? You enjoy knowing he beats the hell out of me after you open your fat fucking mouth. Anything to get him to notice you you fucking slut. You'd love to see him take it too far and kill me or throw me out wouldn't you?" Her grip tightens. "Wouldn't you!?"

The maid is sobbing and terrified, trying to fight her. She'd never seen her mistress have such a hysterical look in her eye, clearly Mrs. Ackerman was desperate not to face her husbands wrath, even if she was the one who told him of his wife's wrongdoings.

"You forget, I'm the mistress of this house, I may hate it with everything in my being but damn it I'm an Ackerman! You will respect me!" Evelyn pulls the girl back, turning her to face the wall and slamming her forehead into it again and again. Since she was in the Scouts before her marriage she had more strength than the maid. Blood stained the wall and eventually the other woman went still.

She pulled the body back to look into the lifeless eyes of one of the women who caused her more hell than she needed in her marriage. Part of her wanted to be sick, proclaiming oneself as an Ackerman and then demanding respect before brutally beating or murdering a person was Levi's trademark. Maybe he was getting to her more than she thought.

================================================

Levi came home exactly on time as he always did, Evelyn had burned her bloodstained dress and cleaned up the cup. The body of the unfortunate servant was temporarily moved until Levi could dispose of it better. The fact that his wife just murdered someone wouldn't phase him, if anything he'd enjoy that she was becoming a callous monster like him.

She met him at the door, a fresh face of makeup as always, he always wanted her looking her best for him. "Welcome home Levi." Her lips found his gingerly, it was robotic, programmed into her.

He was much more warm, bringing her in a brief embrace and kissing her with more passion. "Evelyn."

She hesitates, considering if her plan will even work, or if she's just degrading herself for no reason. She swallows her fears and pride before pulling Levi's head towards hers and capturing his lips in a passionate kiss.

He's surprised at first, especially when her tongue slides into his mouth, tangling with his. A grunt escapes him as he pulls her closer to him, making sure she feels how hard he is, grinding slightly until she gasping and moaning into his mouth. This moment is too good to be true, she's never wanted him like this. Maybe finally she's come to her senses and will comply with him.

"Upstairs." She breathes, her voice breathless and airy.

He doesn't hesitate and lifts her in his arms, bringing her up the stairs and almost throwing her on the bed. It didn't take much from her to get into his pants, the mere thought that she wanted it makes him hard as a rock and needy.

Before he can pounce on her she holds her hand up in a 'Wait'. At first he gets annoyed, prepared to ignore her request until she stands and strips slowly, teasing him. He's so hard it's painful, it takes everything in him from pinning her down and taking her. All the dirty thoughts racing in his mind pause when she speaks.

"Levi..?"

"What is it?"

She's acting, but acting shy makes him squirm as she chews her bottom lip as if embarrassed. "Would you...take me from behind again...? It felt so much better...please...?"

Truly she was a goddess. It was so fake and all staged to fuel his ego, he knew. But it didn't change that all he wanted was to be balls deep in her soaking cunt. With a simple nod she assumes position on the bed, bent with her legs spread, glancing back at him innocently.

He takes his time undoing his belt and removing his clothes, he wants to give her a show too. He smirks when he sees the arousal making her pussy glisten, she couldn't fake that if she tried. He teases her entrance with the tip, taking note of how she wiggles against it. Such a good girl for him, just wanting to please her husband.

When he slides all the way in she moans loudly, pushing her hips back against him before he could even start moving, desperate for some kind of friction. He complies and meets her thrusts, making the bed creak and shake as they use each other for pleasure. No matter how much he's abused her pussy it's still tight when he's inside, reaffirming in his mind she was perfectly made for him and him alone.

He suddenly stops moving, making her look at him in confusion. "Use my dick like the whore you are."

She's flushed but he can see her face go a shade redder as she sheepishly bumps her hips against him again. Eventually finding a rhythm until she was drooling from the pressure, her tongue out and her eyes rolled back. He could feel her tightening around him, she was close.

"You want to cum do you?"

"Please Levi?"

He grabs her hips to stop her from moving, taking half a second pause before bringing her forcefully up and down his cock. She's whimpering and practically crying from too much stimulation until she's spasming and clenching around his dick with all her strength.

As she comes down he slams into her again, prolonging the orgasm and making sure his cum shooting inside of her is associated with the pleasure of a climax. All part of his conditioning to make her into what he wants her to be.

===============================================

As they lay in bed together the next morning they just study each other's features. She allowed him to hold her tenderly like a lover, like a husband. Panic filled her to the point of nausea but she had to tell him, confessing would be better than him figuring it out.

"Levi...?"

"Mm? What's wrong?"

Tears fall down her cheeks, this time it's not acting, she's genuinely terrified. "I'm so sorry- It was an accident- I knocked your cup- and it broke- I didn't mean to I promise. I'm sorry Levi please forgive me-"

Levi is silent for a long time, a really long time. Each second that passes without an answer more concerning to her than the last. She just wants him to get it over with, to say something. But if she spoke out now then he'd punish her for interrupting his thoughts.

"So this is why you were so eager with me last night." It was simply a statement.

She nods sheepishly, suddenly ashamed.

Another long stretch of silence before he finally speaks.

"I'll overlook what you've done this time."

"You will..?"

"You've learned your lesson. You understand how to earn my forgiveness. I can afford to forgive this transgression."

"I killed the the maid-" She blurts.

He simply shrugs. "I can deal with that later. They're all replaceable."

She couldn't understand how he was so calm. It was eerie. "You'd tell me if you were upset?"

He nods, stretching and picking up one of his novels. "You'd know if I was."

She continues to stare at him, taken aback by his relaxed nature.

When he catches her eyes he smirks slightly. "Unless you want me to punish you."

"N-No I'm fine-"

He goes back to reading but she can't miss that devious look on his face.

[amethystina]

I saw someone ask how many chapters you think Who Holds the Devil will be, and it got me thinking about how long (word wise) it might actually end up being since it’s already ~270K. This fic is a monster where it currently stands and if there’s still a lot left to go, the final word count might be insane. It makes me curious as to what the longest fic you’ve ever written was. Have you ever written a singular fic as big as this one before? What’s the most challenging part of writing stories this big? Is it outlining, continuity, or is it less to do with the story itself and more to do with things like potential burnout etc.?

(Okay, so, this is going to be quite long (which is very on-brand), perhaps a little more detailed than you asked for, and also delve into my insecurities in a way that might be TMI. Read at your own risk x'D)

Yeah, I can't say for sure how many chapters I'll write or how high the final word count will be, but it's definitely going to be a very, very long fic.

As for other fics I've written, my very first fanfic was a series (three parts that tell an overarching story, plus nine bonus chapters) that clocks in at 290k. And, after that, I've written two more than go past the 100k mark, one at 183k (if you count the bonus chapters) and another that lands at 127k. So writing long fics isn't anything new to me, but Who Holds the Devil is definitely the longest so far.

As for the most challenging part, that differs depending on the story. That first fic I wrote was a Teen Wolf one where I basically did a third season (before the actual third season aired) and the challenge was definitely the continuity, keeping all the details in order (both from canon and my own creations), and making sure to write the frankly rather big cast of characters in a believable way. It was meant to be a cohesive story that spanned over three parts, but each part also had to have its own internal structure and climax, slowly building up to the big finale in the third instalment. Hilariously enough, I was too young and dumb to even realise how big of an undertaking that was and just kept writing, blissfully unaware of my own hubris. And, somehow, I pulled it off.

But in hindsight? I was nothing short of insane. Especially considering my, at the time, untested skills at actually finishing a story of that length — in English, to boot, which isn't even my native language. I had written original stories before that, some of which were quite long, but none of that size or complexity. Like, I'm not sure I would dare try that now, even with the added experience and skills I've accumulated since then x'D

Sometimes, ignorance truly is bliss.

Anyhow, the more I write, the easier the outlining, continuity, pacing, characters etc. gets so that's rarely a problem. And a lot of that has always come naturally to me in a way I can't really explain. Like, that 183k fic? I wrote that entirely without a timeline, outline, or notes. I just kept it all in my head and went by instinct and, somehow, never had to go back and correct a mistake — not even once. Which is kind of wild when I look back on it (not to mention reckless) but yeah. And the fic is Autonomy, for those of you wondering.

I don't know what it's like for others, but I rarely get stuck on planning and outlining. I usually just figure out a beginning and a couple of key scenes and off I go. And then everything just falls into place as I keep writing, sort of outlining itself without conscious effort from me, long before I actually reach that point in the story (my brain works faster than my hands, I guess? xD). So I usually figure out the ending before I reach the halfway point and then it's just a matter of filling in the empty spaces in between. And, somehow, my brain just automatically manages to figure out the pacing, continuity, and details without me having to pay attention. Don't ask me how that works, it just does x'D

Since it's so much bigger, I do have a timeline for Who Holds the Devil, though, to keep track of where we are and remember important dates (like Go Eun's birthday! :D) as well as a document with notes for future scenes. But that's mostly because I got so excited about some of them and wanted to write down all the cool dialogue before I accidentally forgot it.

So I would say that the more experience I get, it's definitely not the story itself that makes writing long fics difficult — that part is honestly the easy one. Burnout is definitely a factor, though, especially for a fic of this length. Basically, I'm a sprinter, not a marathon runner. I will usually write a lot of words in a short period of time, then have long stretches when I write nothing at all. If I divide my total word count from last year, I actually wrote over 500 words a day, except it's usually more along the lines of 6k three days in a row, then nothing for three weeks x'D

Anyway, since I know this about myself, I usually never start posting a fic until I've finished writing it, since there might otherwise be months without updates. But I obviously had to change that with Who Holds the Devil and that has proven a bit of a challenge, I will admit. I'm not used to regular or even semi-regular updates like this, so I've had to change my habits quite a lot. But I still make sure to recognise when I have to take longer breaks (which does happen, usually after a very intense portion of the fic) just to let my brain cool down a little.

Fortunately, since I'm very goal-oriented, I never lose sight of what I'm doing, however, even during these breaks. I'm not someone who needs to feel inspired or motivated to keep writing, so I can just pick it up again whenever I like. That's not to say I force myself to write, but I can usually trick myself into getting excited enough to continue simply by taking myself over that first hurdle when everything just feels boring and uninteresting.

I'm stubborn as all hell, is what I'm saying, which is definitely useful when writing long fics.

Because, at a certain point, you're going to need more than just inspiration and eagerness if you want to finish. I have not written a single long fic during which I didn't have a moment — often more than one — where I questioned if I truly wanted to continue or not, either because I was at a boring part of the story or felt overwhelmed by the thought of how much further I had to go.

And that's honestly the most challenging part with Who Holds the Devil. I'm confident in my writing, my characterisation, my ideas, and even my plot, but sometimes when I look at my notes and see how much more I have to write, all I feel is doubt. And, in an interesting turn of events, it's not even my own commitment I'm doubting, but everyone else's.

I know I can get through this and stick with this fic to the bitter end, but can you?

Now, don't misunderstand me — my readers don't owe me anything. You can stop reading any time and you should if you're not enjoying the story, but I would be lying if I said that the amount of criticism and questions I get about the length isn't beginning to wear me down. It makes me second-guess every single choice I've made about the plot, pacing, and overall tone of the story.

At the same time, of course I get why people ask. Some want to know when they can start reading because WIPs are scary (I can totally relate) and these readers have no reason to trust me when I say that I will finish this fic, come hell or high water. Heck, I've already lost two grandparents during the writing of this fic and I'm still going. I even tried to write one chapter while sitting at my grandmother's bedside, waiting for her to die (bad idea in hindsight, my writing was very incoherent — do not recommend).

But it's not like everyone who runs across my fic automatically knows that. They don't know me so of course they'll ask, not knowing that they're the fifth person to do so in less than two months. And that kind of hurts.

And I won't deny that there's probably a bit of pride involved as well — it's annoying to have people question my choices — but, more than anything, it's telling me that I must be doing something wrong. My readers don't trust me. And, well, that's kind of alarming as a writer, when the whole point is to take someone on a ride and they keep asking you for directions or "are we there yet?"

Clearly, I'm doing something wrong.

Now, this is not EVERYONE. I have so, so many lovely readers who enjoy both the insane length and glacial slow burn of this fic — I know that. But there's always a niggling doubt at the back of my mind that I'm eventually going to alienate every single reader because this fic is just Too Long. Or that they'll simply give up on the story since it's going to take us beyond Yo Han and Ga On kissing. Like, this fic isn't just about the two of them getting together, but also how they'll make their relationship work in the long term with their individual and shared baggage taken into account. It's going to continue long past the point of them kissing for the first time, as well as them having sex for the first time.

And a lot of people lose interest after the first kiss or the first sex scene. Which is fine — each to their own — but it's very disheartening to be told that as the author. I've had people ask me in what chapter they'll finally kiss so they can jump to that chapter and ignore the rest. I've had people tell me they're going to stop reading because they just can't stand the annoyingly slow burn anymore. I've had people tell me the fic is already too long for them to read and, here I am, knowing it'll take a lot more words to even come close to finishing it.

And that, at least in the case with Who Holds the Devil, is the biggest challenge — to stay motivated and committed when more and more people are telling me I'm not doing this right. It's daunting enough as a writer to look at your fic and realise that, damn, I have such a long way to go, without also having people tell you, to your face, that, yeah, that's way too fucking long, what the fuck are you doing?

It makes you wonder why you should even keep going, especially when you know how much time and effort you're going to have to devote to the project.

What's the point?

Because despite all the lovely comments I get, praising the level of detail and how realistic everything feels, we all know that negative comments have a tendency to stick with us longer. I can't ignore them even if I desperately want to. And, to make matters worse, not all of them are even intended to be mean. Some just want to know how long the fic will be — which is fully reasonable. But those entirely reasonable questions just pile on top of this mountain of doubt I already have, telling me that this is all pointless. My commitment to this fic is a mistake. I'm wasting my time. It's not Good Enough. It's Too Long.

Now, all that said, I love Who Holds the Devil. I love exploring the characters and the story, and I honestly don't think I'll stop writing it. Because, cliché as it might sound, I do write for myself, not others. I share with others because I know people like my writing, but I'd still be writing even if no one wants to read it. So, worst-case scenario, if people are no longer interested, I'll just keep writing it but will stop posting.

Because, when it comes down to it, I don't need validation to write. I can write in complete solitude. As mentioned, I usually finish a fic before posting, which means I've sometimes completed a 60k fic without a single word of encouragement from another person. I LOVE validation, as most writers do, but I don't actually need it to keep working on a project.

Interestingly, what I'm seeing with Who Holds the Devil, is that too much attention can, apparently, instead make me doubt my commitment to a project in a way that's honestly pretty fascinating? I felt more confident about the fic BEFORE I started posting it, BEFORE I knew if anyone would even want to read it x'D

Now is when I feel the doubt, because what these comments are telling me is that, sure, a lot of people would want to read this fic, but it's too long so now they're not gonna. And, in many ways, that feels like a failure on my part, even if I of course know that tastes differ, we can't please everyone etc. etc.

Tell that to my anxiety.

So yeah. For me, personally, it's definitely outside things that make writing long fics difficult, more specifically opinions from other people that make me doubt my skill level, intentions with the fic, and if it's even worth writing in the first place. I'm actually pretty confident about the rest and, even if I struggle sometimes, I can usually push my way through those issues.

Sidenote: As someone who likes to analyse people's behaviour (including my own), it's pretty fascinating to realise that my biggest issue isn't that I feel pressured to produce more or post on a certain schedule — which is what most fanfic authors struggle with — but that I might, in fact, be doing too much? My fic is just too goddamn long for people to handle.

Like, you gotta admit — that's pretty funny xD

Anyway. All of that said, know that I don't regret writing Who Holds the Devil and that I certainly don't regret posting it. I also have every intention of finishing it and I doubt I'll actually reach a point where I'll stop posting. As long as there's even one person out there who enjoys reading the fic, that's enough for me to keep posting.

So to all of you out there — especially if you happen to be one of those who just casually asked me how long the fic will be without knowing all of this shit — I'm fine. I'm not angry or upset with you. I know the majority of you love the fic and wouldn't want me to change a thing. I also know that these insecurities of mine are… well, not unreasonable, but I don't need to listen to them. And I try my best not to (it's just difficult some days, you know?)

So, to finish this off, just know that I love you, appreciate you, and have no regrets. And thank you so, so much for reading my fic, even if it's long, and taking the time to comment, kudos, or even just gush about it with your friends. To know that my writing brings joy to other people and that it can help support you through difficult times or make your day better is the best feeling ever.

Thank you 💜

… also, chapter 29 will probably be another 15k one, because fuck my life x'D

[notgoingwell]

(And I'll say this before I dive in: I've been wary of this show ever since it got announced. I dearly love this game – singular, as there is only one Tlou game. I was frightened this IP was just the next in a long line to suffer tragic death and deconstruction, as has become daily life in Hollywood today. -> embed unwarranted messages and twisted morality and turn every character into something they're not until there's nothing left to recognise. The point is: it would take a lot for this to convince me, even more so with the bad taste Tlou 2 left in my mouth.)

And with that being said, let's get to it: I am thoroughly underwhelmed by HBO's The Last of Us. So far (and I'll happily eat crow should it change), it feels like they're throwing member berries at us. They added tons of new scenes, cut others, and made changes that deviate from the game, yet when familiar scenes play out, sometimes even shot for shot, they, somehow, fall flat. And herein lies the problem: If you consider changing something that has worked perfectly before, then you'll have to do it with good reason, and beneficial to the story. Most of the additions thus far (and within a run time of 1:30h, they merely depicted the first 10-15 min of the game) felt like fleshing out on the wrong ends. Filler more than anything else. Some things took more screen time than they did contribute to storytelling, bringing no substance, no extra characterisation, whatsoever to the table. At one point, a few of those extras started contradicting themselves, and even lore. Ultimately, they don't enhance the story.

They began to lack emotional weight and significance, 'cause they were either missing scenes leading up to them occurring or feeling out of place altogether. To me, they felt like ticked-off boxes to justify it being a Tlou product. The watch? Check. Sarah? Check. (added bonus if we let her wear the exact same shirt as in the game, even though she feels like a different character in the show and the only indicator she's who we're supposed to believe she is, is because the show says so.) Recognisable outfits for respective characters? Check. Car driving sequence with rotating camera? Check. Death scene? Check. Quarantine zone? Check. Smuggle job from Marlene? Check. All these moments are depicted in the show, and yet they change how we get from point A to point B, or how a situation comes to pass and expect the story to follow and flow as it has in the games. A disruption, no matter how small, will affect the outcome and should be accounted for. "Why are you angry they adapt game sequences?" – I am not. I get angry when they change the context in which these sequences occur, and then expect the same payoff to work. I also do comprehend that sometimes you need to change a story to adapt for Tv, which is acceptable as long as characters are still recognisable and act as they're supposed to.

The first episode felt rushed, and none of the emotional beats stuck the landing thus far (for me).. which is not a promising start given that Sarah's death and her relationship with Joel play a significant role in his characterisation and development. Part of it may come down to, what I thought, was a mismatch in dialogue and acting. For example, when we were presented with the family dynamic between Sarah, Tommy and Joel: What they were saying – the snarky, familiar, insider-ish banter felt fitting – but it did not match their character's behaviour or body language. (and, I mean no offence here, but none of them had chemistry, much less enough to be considered family.) Hell... if the show had not shouted from the roof that Gabriel Luna embodies Tommy, Joel's brother, one never would've guessed so. They look nothing alike, a miscast as far as I'm concerned. And, am I the only one who thinks Sarah, as well as Ellie, look too old? Sarah, especially, was such a young, innocent soul in the game who woke up from her nap only to witness the beginning of the apocalypse. She had no idea what was going on. Utterly frightened, she observed what fell apart around her, until the tragedy of it all caught up with her, claiming her life before she could fully comprehend what was happening. Even more tragic considering how young she was, and how little time we got to spend with her. And it's in her age, innocence and behaviour that Joel sees Sarah in Ellie.

So, yeah. It felt rushed, big time. Some moments were not granted enough time to "breathe", and others were cut short drastically. (eg. Bite reveal) Makes you wonder what all this rush is for. What else will be shortened, or even dismissed? What content will take precedence going forward? Will they lean heavily into certain themes, and embed messages? Or, worse, are we rushing to get to part 2 as fast as possible? (Already scared about how we'll proceed, seeing how Tess' actress is scheduled for 5 episodes total when her game counterpart dies within the next 30 or so minutes. What else will we drag out or redundantly flesh out?)

That intro, too, was pretty average... okay... I'm jumping all over the place, so, I guess, I'll just tackle whatever comes to mind. For a series that is produced by a streaming service known for its high-quality, detailed and unique intros, it felt lacklustre. They were clearly imitating the game's intro, yet after rewatching it on Youtube, I kind of prefer it to its TV show counterpart. (it encapsulates the feeling of this world better: dark, gritty, black-and-white) and I'm left thinking: is it just another member berry? If you weave so many "new" perspectives and scenes into this, why not be consistent all the way through and create something creative that lines up tonally and in favour of said changes? And, where was the music in this episode? Whether you're familiar with the game or not, Tlou has an identifiable score, predominately, subtle atmospheric background noise with certain standout tracks, but it's there. Here? Not so much. I believe I've heard 1-2 tracks. That's it.

Random tidbits floating through my head:

-What was the point of Robert being there when his "segment" got cut from the show?

-Why IS Robert scared of Joel, exactly? See, this is the problem I mentioned earlier, if you cut out scenes and go forth unbothered, you'll come across issues. In the game, Joel brutally takes out a bunch of guys and thus proves his tough, threatening personality. (which also, I believe, grants him to take Marlene's job since he's the only capable person left?) Here? We've not seen him do anything that would indicate said reputation and validate Rob's fear. Where do we get the impression he's tough and has a threatening personality not to be messed with unless other people simply state it as a fact?

-Why is Sarah first displayed as a smart, know-it-all character and later turns into the most oblivious person, walking around like Shaun of the Dead, not acknowledging any signs? Felt almost comical.

-Sarah takes up more screen time than she contributes to the story, literally doing nothing. Why change the beginning and add neighbours, school, etc.? If you were to change anything, add more father/daughter moments and to their dynamic -> loss will be more devastating due to the increased emotional impact

-Why did they remove the spores? They presented additional threats and challenges, were part of the world and influenced its inhabitants. Now we're left with TWD but a fungus version... why? Weren't spores responsible for certain mutations? 

-Why did they force the flashback as Joel was about to attack when we clearly know what he'd associate it with? And why would he already see Ellie as a daughter-like figure? Why rush through what's, essentially, the point of the game? That felt massively unearned.

-The execution was weird and out of place, but maybe that's just me. To display how harsh and ruthless the world has gotten, you could've easily just included the firing squad executions from the game. Remember? The ones where they coldly disregarded human life on the pavement 'cause they tested positive. Aiming for cruel conditions rather than a spectacle.

-How does Ellie know 80s music when she's born after the Outbreak? I vaguely remember (it has evidently been some time since I've played it) Joel educating Ellie on various cultural tidbits from before.

-Why is Ellie also depicted as a genius, smart, know-it-all? Her decoding of that radio signal was unneeded. She's always been a snarky, endearing youngster you felt the need to protect – here, and this is what I perceived from one episode, she's an obnoxious brat, amped up in aggressiveness

-Why did the showrunners insist on making TV Joel a softer, more vulnerable person? (Modern Hollywood sure does hate masculinity) In the show, Joel is not an assertive presence that makes decisions. Other people decide for him, or command what he does (Tess, Marlene, Ellie, Sarah) -> only action out of his own volition is when he beats up a soldier (due to flashback, which was hamfisted in to remind everyone, in case they forgot the last 30 minutes.) In this world, tough guys survive that make tough decisions. Joel's one of them – always has been. (just look how the game ends...)

-Why is Joel not acting up when receiving no answer to Tommy's whereabouts? Why waste the trip to the office and precious resources? Also, isn't this going against lore? I thought Tommy and Joel were estranged, and later in the game, we learn that Tommy was part of the Fireflies, which drove them apart.

-Is there going to be a reason why they decided to make Joel and Tess an exclusive, today thing-y? As far as I remember, it was merely vaguely implied they had something going on in the past.

-I may be butchering details here again, but wasn't Marlene the person Ellie already knew and trusted? The one she was hesitant to leave? That feels more believable than her listening to Marlene as a voice of reason, due to her spilling that she knew her mom, and thus forming a bond. 

-Is it just me, or did the quarantine zone leave little impression? It did not even feel like a real place with people in it. This would've been the perfect opportunity to rip some things from the game, in order, to breathe some life into the place. (eg. like adding the market where Joel and Tess walk through, etc.)

-How did Tess get out of the explosion relatively unharmed? -Why did the lady in the shop not warn Sarah properly, and cautioned her to interact with other people, when she knew something was up? -Why did they burn their dead with clothes on? Clothing, shoes, etc. are valuable limited properties that are no longer produced.

Verdict after one very lengthy episode/first impressions: 

Generic, mid, apocalyptic-themed show, that wears the skinsuit of Tlou. When the show syncs up with the game is generally where pace and interest pick up, but otherwise, we're left with unnecessarily dragged-out extra. Some characters are not recognisable, neither in appearance nor characterisation, which is kind of a bummer. (Also noting, I thought Joel was acted a tad flat and non-emotive...) 

All-in-all, it did not turn out to be as disastrous as I feared, but we've still got a long way to go. Plenty of time to mess up. And no, I don't go into this wanting to hate it. I would LOVE for this to be a faithful, realistic masterpiece of a take on a beloved game, which also happens to be a favourite of mine, but we've seen it numerous times before. (Cue: Halo, Wheel of Time, Rings of Power, Moon Knight, etc.)

[sesamestreep]

fringe does a similar thing in its first season where it tells you “all this weird shit that’s happening? the fucked up stuff we’re going to watch Olivia Dunham investigate? well, it’s all because of these two wacko scientist guys who were fucking around in Harvard’s basement in the 70s or something.” So Olivia’s gotta go find those wacko scientist guys. And one is easy. That’s Walter Bishop, and he’s been in a mental institution for a while and she’s gotta get him released into his adult son’s custody so he can help her investigate the weird shit that’s happening and killing people and whatever. And she does! She, Walter and his son (and Jasika Nicole also!) link up and start investigating the weird shit that’s going on, with sometimes limited success.

and then when their success is really limited they come back to the other guy who was helping Walter do deeply unethical experiments in a basement in the 70s or whatever. And that’s William Bell. And if Walter is brilliant but inconsistent and damaged, William Bell is a genius who, more importantly, rules. He started a hugely successful tech company, he’s rich, he’s a household name in the way Bill Gates is. And they’d really like his help investigating this weird shit that keeps happening, because Walter does not have his shit together. And they position Bell in this way, he’s the smarter, more successful one compared to Walter, who lost his marbles.

And, no matter how hard they try, they can’t get close to this guy. He’s so successful that he’s always traveling for “business” and his assistants and colleagues at his important tech company always fob our heroes off when they want to talk to him about something. They meet Blair Brown’s character and she’s his second in command and she’s like “you can’t talk to William Bell, he’s busy and IMPORTANT. And he’s the greatest man alive, because he saved my life and built me this sick cybernetic arm! LOOK!” and they do look and it is sick as hell. And this trend continues throughout the season: no one will let them near William Bell.

and then they introduce the big bad of season 1 and it’s JARED HARRIS??? and he’s playing a Hannibal Lecter type just without the eating people (but with being really into crypto?? I actually can’t remember this detail but he’s bad news) who’s stuck in prison but still masterminding crimes and whatever. And he’s even like “I wanna talk to William Bell” and they’re like… you’re literally in prison?? No?? and so he breaks out of prison because he wants to talk to William Bell THAT BAD. And he’s also obsessed with parallel universes and he wants to go to the alternate universe so bad (again I do not recall why BUT IT DOESNT MATTER) and he keeps stealing and using weird fringe technology to try to go to another universe and he keeps creating problems for Olivia and her team and they’re like “boy, it sure would be nice if William Bell could help” and still no one will let them talk to him! Jared Harris is ripping the multiverse apart and also melting his own face off for this guy and his staff are like “he’s soooo booked, actually, you wouldn’t understand”

and you’re watching the whole time and you’re like “this is a LOT for one singular man” and in the back of your mind you’re kind of like “there’s no way William Bell could possibly be THIS COOL and THIS SMART and THIS AWESOME” because it’s quite frankly too much. It’s unbelievable that this guy would be worth all this trouble and effort, right?! RIGHT?!

joke’s on you in the last scene of season 1: it’s LEONARD FUCKING NIMOY. and he’s been IN the parallel universe THE WHOLE TIME.

okay I promised yall niche posts so here we go:

how I met your mother 🤝 fringe season 1

the best executed games of “set up and payoff” you will find in modern television, but in totally opposite ways

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

More ROTTMNT headcanons:

So it’s evident that Donnie doesn’t like to be touched unless he initiates it (with some exceptions like when Mikey and April hug him or when Leo leans on him) 

But when Donnie is sleep deprived he’s a clingy little shit 

God forbid you get within 5 feet of him because he will launch himself at you and latch on 

Now this isn’t a problem for Raph and Leo they’re both taller than him and can lift him with relative ease

Splinter, Mikey, and April on the other hand…. not so much

Don't get me wrong they’re all buff as fuck but their height kind of bites them in the ass

Do y’all remember that scene in Lilo and Stitch when Nani is putting her entire body weight on Lilo 

Think that but 10x’s worse because even though Donnie is built like cilantro his tech is heavy as hell

And he will force you to carry that weight by yourself 

It’s not uncommon for the boys to hear “if someone doesn’t get this twig bug off me in 5 seconds I’m gonna get my bat” coming from the living room

And because Leo is an amazing brother (and not touch starved at all) he will give Donnie piggyback rides around the house when he’s tired

Leo can stay awake without help for a stupid amount of time 

Like I’m talking actual days in a row

Donnie wants to be jealous but then he remembers that Leo tends to pass out around the house

One second he’s energetic and bouncing off the walls and the next he’s passed out on the floor

The first time this happened Splinter almost had a heart attack 

After that, they started putting mats and bean bags around the house 

And he’s usually able to make it…. Usually 

Donnie had a folder saved on his laptop and it’s just a compilation of Leo faceplanting

Leo and Donnie came up with all of the nicknames in the show

They were like 5 years old when they decided that saying everyone's full name was a pain in the ass 

So they spent like half an hour coming up with new and exciting nicknames 

But there are some nicknames that the others can’t use 

Nardo and Tello are theirs and theirs alone 

The singular time someone else tried to use those nicknames the twins looked at them funny for a solid minute

No one used them again after that

Leo used to call Donnie “Donbon” but once April showed up he stopped

He didn’t want to but Donnie used to get embarrassed when the nickname was used 

The only time he uses it is when he’s really tired or really sad 

Sometimes Donnie will get stuck in the zone and he won't come out of his lab for anything 

And when those times hit all Leo has to do is walk over to him and go “Donbon the guys are starting to get worried”

And Donnie will sigh and complain that Leo is interrupting his very important work but he’ll still leave the lab and socialize like a normal person 

When Mikey was really little he couldn't pronounce his brother's names so he called him “Lee” “Dee” and “Rrrrrrr” (he would just roll his r’s to call Raph over)

And he will still occasionally use those nicknames especially if he wants to make the group laugh 

He gave April her very own “Mikey approved nickname” 

“Aaaaa” he usually says it in a very quiet and monotone voice and it never fails to make April giggle

For a solid three years of their friendship, April thought Raphs name was Ralph and no one corrected her 

It wasn’t until Splinter got mad and called them all by their full names that April realized her mistake 

And she’s still embarrassed to this day

Sometimes Leo’s ADHD makes him very irritable 

The little things like his phone charger breaking and the tag on his pajamas being itchy will just stack up 

And next thing you know he’s in a really bad mood

Most of the time he tries to hide it but his siblings are always able to tell a difference 

And then they ask a million questions which just makes his mood worse 

And then he snaps and suddenly no one is happy

Leo feels guilty that he snapped at them and they feel guilty for overwhelming him

But no matter what the day always ends with them all in the living room in a big cuddle pile watching their favorite Jupiter Jim movies

[animalinvestigator]

It kills me that Juri’s one parental figure was taken from her so fast and so brutally bc you’re right like it really was just a matter of horrific circumstances. It was all entropic, random chance & Other People Being Hurt Too that led to it and she didn’t deserve it at all … even the things that tried to save her were also the things that hurt her in the end (Beelzebumon, The D-Reaper, her own friends sometimes). Ruki had a parental figure in Renamon and early on she abused it, she literally could not understand but by the time she Did grasp Juri needing a friend … it was so late. Damage had already been done and they were all just kids. I have. a lot of feelings about Tamers and how literally everyone was a victim

Yes this is so much to me. Juri's like circumstances reoccurring patterns of having everyone in her life leave her horribly and uncontrollably and her only possible response being to harden her heart and close her feelings off and hide herself under this external facade of an energetic and happy little girl is such a powerful precursor to the d-reaper's motivation to melt the world down to one-component slime. I imagine the d-reaper's goal to "eliminate the unncessary" comes from a like, "create a singularity of only the simple and immutable" place, which comes from juri's heart just truly not wanting to lose another person she loves -- if everyone is melted down to nothing, no one can leave her ever again, everyone is just one thing. One of the most soul destryoing scenes in the whole show for me is when beelzebumon tries to pull her out of the kernel and she just stands there, frozen, and stares and watches as the window to the outside world closes slowly in front of her, she doesn't take his hand; and then the moment the window is closed, she breaks down crying and screaming because her last chance is gone. it really evokes an internal war thats at the heart of her character to me -- fighting between closing your self off to others to avoid pain, and accepting pain and abandonment as a part of life, and being able to join the world. can you really accept that loving others & living in this horrible entropic beautiful world HURTS, and still choose to be there? thats what the last arc of tamers is about to me.

i think the like disconnect between her and the character who she's closest to (Ruki, who like you describe here, is not the most empathetic or rational person) is really powerful too cos it really exemplifies how great the disconnect between her and her peers is. even tho she and ruki are close, and ruki treats her with ridiculous gentleness, takes care of her in the digital world, protects adr 01 and shows her caring affection when she's essentially catatonic, etc, She really DOES have no idea what's going on with her, or how to actually help; it's the empty, feeble gestures of kindness from someone too stuck in their own world to really reassure anyone else. because like you said, they're all kids, they cant understand eachother, they don't know the ways eachother are in pain. all orbiting eachother but unable to help eachother at all, the strength for juri to escape the kernel doesn't come from rukis care towards her, or takato's knight in shining armor schtick, or even jians last ditch sacrificial abandon - it comes from inside her, sitting in near silence and nothingness in a time dilation chamber, deciding she really does want to live. really beuatiufl to me.

[arotechno]

Jughead (2015), Issues 7-8: Discussion and Commentary

Boy oh boy am I excited to talk about this arc!! These two issues hold a very special place in my cold little aro heart.

(By the way, do you see that? I managed to get a digital copy from my library via Hoopla, which means you are spared from my shitty phone grabs. I’ll fix the previous post, don’t worry. Try clicking on the screenshots if tumblr blurs them. And try Hoopla, if you’ve got a library card and have been looking to read these.)

Fed up with him sitting around the house playing video games all summer, Mr. Jones forces Jughead to get out of the house and do something outside. Jughead finds Archie at the pool where he’s working as a lifeguard, and convinces him to take time off to go camping in the woods with him at their friend Dilton’s cottage.

They take Archie’s car out to the woods, only to find that the lake is overrun with Reggie’s over-the-top relatives at the Mantle family reunion. Horrified, Jughead and Archie go out on a hike to get away. This is where things go downhill—literally.

Jughead calls Archie out for his growing fixation with Veronica Lodge, whose father is the one trying to clear out Fox Forest. Archie immediately goes on the defensive, but Jughead, understandably, really doesn’t get it. And here’s where we see that this is a divide that has been brewing between them for quite some time, even if Archie seemingly had no idea it was happening.

The boys end up getting lost, which only serves to fuel their frustrations. It occurs to Jughead, some time later, that the lake they’re camping at is not that far from Camp Lucey, an all-girls summer camp. Shocked and hurt, he accuses Archie of only agreeing to go on the trip to pick up girls, and not to hang out with him. He tackles Archie and they tumble down a hill into the woods below.

This is a really interesting story, from an aro’s perspective. Jughead can’t relate to Archie’s teenage obsession with girls, and it isn’t something they can bond over like other friends may have been able to do. On a simple level, all Jughead really wants to do is hang out with his best friend, just the two of them, just like old times—back when they were younger, before Archie’s interest in girls seemed to take over his every waking moment. Importantly, Jughead never objects to Archie’s romantic pursuits on principle (he does have an issue with Veronica, but that has to do more with her father’s actions than her). It isn’t that he wants to stand in the way of Archie’s happiness—he just feels left behind, and that’s something I think a lot of aromantic people, teenagers especially, can resonate with.

Eventually, Archie and Jughead run into Mr. Weatherbee of all people, who begrudgingly offers to help lead them back to camp. It’s at this point that we get one of my favorite moments in the entire series, one that I have waxed poetic about on this blog before and probably will again.

Archie insists that he is in fact here to hang out with Jughead, and that he’s just being dramatic. Jughead, on the other hand, insists that Archie’s the one being dramatic with his love triangle problems, to which Archie replies:

“Look, I’m not going to apologize for being a normal guy, I—”

And Jughead’s reaction to those words has stuck with me since the first time I read this. He’s shocked, hurt, and clearly a little angry that Archie would say something like that. And it’s a subtle moment, one that you might not even feel the gravity of if you didn’t know that Jughead was aro. What’s most important here, though, isn’t Jughead’s reaction, but the fact that Archie is clearly in the wrong, and he knows it. He tries to backtrack immediately (“Jughead! I didn’t mean it like that! Wait!”), but Jughead ignores him, as Mr. Bee has already gotten them lost again.

This singular page is, to me, a deeper and more nuanced portrayal than many works with “on-the-page” canon aromantic characters. This arc isn’t about Jughead being aro (in fact, none of the comics particularly are). But this is a meaningful incorporation of Jughead’s orientation into his daily life and his relationships with other people—namely, with his best friend. Although Jughead is being somewhat harsh with Archie, never does the narrative place him in the wrong for feeling abandoned, hurt, or angry because of Archie’s words and actions. Even Archie, his best friend, is capable of saying things that hurt him, and his words in this scene are never excused or justified by the narrative.

It also means a lot to me that Archie apologizes the second he gets the chance to, and that Jughead is quick to forgive him and explain that he just misses the time before Archie was so obsessed with girls. I wouldn’t want the story to just turn into a feud between them. You know when you’re on a trip with your friends and you get lost and you’re tired and frustrated you just end up airing your grievances and coming out of it with a new understanding of your friendship while trying to solve the mess you’re in? That’s what this arc is.

Anyway, after a run-in with Reggie’s relative and Mr. Weatherbee’s old high school bully Ted Mantle, the trio manage to make it out of the woods—after several hours of walking until the sun has come up. There, they find that Camp Lucey has actually been renamed, and is now a camp for elementary school girls, where Betty happens to be working. So after all of that, Archie just ends up making a fool of himself, like usual. Mr. Bee’s wife drives over to rescue them and brings the boys back to Dilton’s cottage, where she remarks that she’s heard a lot about Archie and Jughead, and that they’re inseparable.

At its core, this is a story about friendship. It’s about the difficulties that come with realizing you can’t always relate to each other, and you can’t always read each other’s minds, and you sometimes say the wrong thing without meaning to. It’s a story about growing up, but not necessarily growing apart, and being able to reconcile your differences.

Archie assumes that after all of their bickering, Jughead would just want to go home and not hang out with him anymore. But turning back now would be contrary to what Jughead wanted in the first place, which was just to hang out with his best friend.

All’s well that end’s well, and Jughead and Archie patch things over and vow that they will always be best friends. It’s a wholesome moment, and reflects a common struggle for aspec teens that I rarely see addressed in media, if at all. Sometimes, it feels like your friends are all moving on without you, and sometimes they don’t even realize it when they’ve been neglecting your friendship. It takes communication to work these things out, and I’m happy to see that illustrated here.

This arc is my favorite, I think, and there’s reasons for that even outside of the aspects I’ve already detailed here. The kids getting lost in the woods on summer vacation is a fun way of framing the deeper story, and there are a lot of funny and endearing moments in these two issues. (Archie falls on his face, a lot, and Mr. Weatherbee is stoically exasperated with both of their antics.)

These are the last issues written by Chip Zdarsky. So shoutout to him for some of the most nuanced representations of aromanticism in fiction to date, even if he never wrote the word down on the page (I’ll get to that, don’t worry). But these are the first issues illustrated by Derek Charm, whose art style I love (no offense Erica Henderson), and the rest of the volume has a lot of other good aro moments in store. Until then, here’s himbo Archie:

See? Pure of heart, dumb of ass. You can’t be mad at him for long. (He falls into a hole later on the same page.)

Yeah, me too.

[toherlover]

more fun here

pairing: din djarin x reader (no use of y/n)

Summary: after spending the last 3 weeks on a bounty, din decides to give you the day off, but personal space was the last thing you wanted after spending so much time alone. 

wordcount: 2.6k

warnings/tags: alcohol, drinking, language? maybe? i dont remember, lots of fluff, mutual pining, mostly from din’s pov 

A/N: hi so i have never actually posted a fic before oop. i have them i just ~dont share~ so this is something new to try for now! 

Mando jumped when the hatch fell open, shaken out of light sleep. His hand immediately fell to the blaster tucked into the holster but froze when he saw her trudging up the ramp. She was holding some sort of drink in one hand, her other arm held out to the side as if she was walking on a balance beam. The girl was muttering under her breath, obviously concentrating way too hard on not spilling whatever liquid was frothing in the glass. 

When she got to the hull of the Razor Crest she let out an exasperated sigh. 

“Hey Mando!” the girl yelled a little too loud, “I’m home!!”

The Mandalorian said nothing. She leaned against the frame and held the glass out to him, panting and starting to slide to the floor.

“I- I got one for-for you!”

He had given her the day to be off on her own, considering how safe the new system they’d landed in was known to be. Maker, she’d spent the last three weeks couped up in the crest by herself. Cabin fever had never really gotten to him, but when he came back this time, bounty flung over his shoulder, it was obvious that it had gotten to her. 

He’d felt bad telling her to stay on the ship and only run to the shop when necessary, especially when she butted back in argument. The girl probably didn’t realize it was for her own good, a protective measure. She had rolled her eyes in annoyance, but when Mando didn’t falter in his stance through the fight she reluctantly agreed. He hadn’t meant to leave her alone this long, he truly thought it’d be just over a week, and there was a pang of guilt in his chest for leaving her here like this. 

In his absence, the girl had thoroughly redecorated the ship. All sorts of… things, crafts, maker-knows-whats, were sitting atop crates, hung on the walls, clearly made using whatever she’d found rummaging through the spare parts bin and in the singular shop connected to the docking bay.

There was a string of little flickering lights hanging across the hull, pieced together from old console controls. It looked like she had sewed together some old fabrics to create some sort of rug, too. 

The girl herself was asleep on the floor, surrounded by papers covered in writing and doodles. It was a mess- whatever she’d been writing was scattered and out of order. The kid was tucked under her arm, completely limp and snoring quietly. They looked like they’d passed out on the spot, mid-activity, on the Crest’s floor. She was wearing an odd combination of clothing he’d never seen before, had she made them herself? The child had a crown woven out of old wires sitting on his head, a matching one had clearly slipped out of her hair.

Mando silently thanked the stars not only for the fact that she was asleep when he got back, but that he had a layer of beskar to hide the smile he couldn’t keep from inching across his face. When he’d hired her a few months back to watch the kid and help copilot as needed, the girl had seemed so harsh. Her knuckles were scarred and she sneered when she called him out on his shit. Which she seemed to love to do. 

In the cockpit, they’d sit in silence for hours, something the Mandalorian usually valued with others, but he wished she’d say something. Anything. Occasionally he’d feel her eyes trained on his helmet, or he’d glance back at her to see her clearly thinking deeply about something, but it was never a shared thought. It was quiet. 

He’d never admit to it, but he was terrified that she was scared of him. Maker, she’d seen him come back out of breath and dragging a body behind him. She was always standing by when he was at his worst, catching her flinch out of the corner of his eye didn’t make it any better. 

But there were moments. Moments he was sure she hadn’t noticed him watching. Moments when she was soft. There were little things. Like how she always gripped the armrest a little tighter and squeezed her eyes shut right before they landed, or how she places a gentle kiss on the kid’s head every night before tucking him in. He doubted she was aware, but she sticks her tongue out just a little bit and fiddles with her necklace when she’s concentrating. Sometimes she leaves little reminders around the ship for them both; they’re always signed with a smiley face at the end. 

There were a few times he’d caught her humming to herself and dancing around on her toes. She was graceful- he wasn’t expecting that. For a fighter pilot with such a callous attitude, she was so delicate. So he stayed back, knowing she’d stop the moment she knew he was there. 

Or how she left a third woven crown hanging from his seat in the cockpit. No, she didn’t wear a helmet, but it was pretty clear that she hid behind her own layer of beskar, too.

But they had never shared a moment like this: the girl slumped in the door frame, holding a drink out to him with a straw stuck in it. The child toddled over to her.

“Hey little dude!” she put the drink on the floor and held her arms out to him. “Look, sorry I’m back just a little smidgen of a bit late,” she said, words slurring, bopping him lightly on the nose. “I sorta kinda,” the girl’s voice didn’t get any quieter as she tried to whisper, “forgot where we were parked.” She shook her head and held a finger to her lips, “Don’t tell Mando.”

The Mandalorian let out a sigh loud enough to be heard through the vocoder and her head whipped around to face him. “I’m-” she started to get up, “I’m sorry I’m a little bit,” she held on to the wall as she stumbled forward, “a little bit late.” With a huff she gave up and sat back down on the floor, but continued to scootch herself closer to him, only stopping a foot or so before his feet. 

Still, he was silent, and the color seemed to drain from her face. Under the cold stare of his visor, she tucked her head back like a child expecting to be scolded. After a few moments, she glanced nervously around the room, looking anywhere besides where she knew his eyes would be. She couldn’t tell the man in front of her was doing everything in his power to stifle a laugh as she struggled to sit up straight. 

“Hey, so you’re actually a reeaallly quiet person,” she said softly, fidgeting a bit, “and I don’t know if you know or realize it or not, or if it’s on purpose, b- but when you go all quiet like this I really don’t know- I mean I’m terrible at reading the room anyways- but I can’t tell if you’re mad and I just-”

He cut her off. “I’m not mad.” Her face lit up slightly. Honestly, he wished he was angry. He should have been angry. His ship was a mess. But when she sat in front of him like this, he found it hard to be even the slightest bit irritated. He’d asked her to be back before nightfall, and for once she didn’t ask why or argue back. 

“Oh.” She smiled softly then leaned all the way back so that her head skimmed the floor. She reached behind her, grabbing the blue drink and sliding it forward as she sat back up. “It was fun. Probably not your scene, I don’t really know, but the music was good, you would have liked that. You should have come.”

With a sigh, the Mandalorian rose to his feet and held a hand out to her, offering to help her up. She smiled again and let him pull her to her feet, immediately placing a hand on his shoulder to steady herself. His hand landed on her waist to keep her upright. “I don’t really do parties.”

She looked up at him. Somehow, even in her intoxicated state, she always managed to look him directly in the eye. “Yeah, I know. Sorta figured. To be really honest with you though, neither do I, I just wanted to do something a little bit different, yah know?” 

“I know.”

They stood there in silence for a minute, then she rested her head against his chest. He froze. She’d never shown an ounce of affection, let alone stand together like this. He knew she was drunk. He guessed the girl wouldn’t remember this in the morning. But still, he held her tightly and savored the moment. It couldn’t have been comfortable, but she leaned against him anyway. 

“But the credits I’d give to see you dance in this tin-man suit,” she knocked on his chest and giggled. 

“I don’t really dance.”

“Liar. You can so dance. No way you’re that quiet and sneaky and can’t.” Her nose scrunched up as she scoffed at him, poking at his chest plate. “Me, however, whew, you really don’t know what you missed, shiny. You’re holding the worst dancer on this side of the galaxy.”

His head cocked to the side and he paused, watching her poke fun at herself, thinking of all the times he’d caught her tiptoeing around with the child. All the times she would sing quietly and swing her hips while out and about. The words slipped out of his mouth before he could stop them, “No I’ve seen you dance, you dance all the time.”

Her lips parted as a confused look fell across her face. He couldn’t fully read her expression, but it was clear a million thoughts were flooding her brain. He was instantly worried that he’d offended her. Not only had he invaded her privacy- he admitted it to her face. He worried she’d step away and the moment would end, that she’d go to bed and leave in the morning, taking her pay and her bag. But with one eyebrow raised and a soft smile playing across her face, she wrapped both arms around his neck. 

“So I guess you owe me one then, huh? I brought you back a drink and everything.”

-----

You picked up on his almost inaudible laugh even through the modulator. Sure, you’d had a few drinks. You had been a little past the point of tipsy as you neared the Crest, but you were coming to your senses now. Were you over-exaggerating your state of mind? Most indefinitely. You couldn’t help it, though. The last 3 weeks had been an absolute shit-show. 

You were fine until the end of the first week, then you started to get worried. The thought of him kept you up at night, so you told yourself that there was no way you could have possibly missed him. You only cared because this was your wellbeing now. I mean, before you got this position you spent every minute alone, too. This wasn’t any different. 

Except that it was. And you hated that it was. This was just supposed to be another job. Somehow this man in a metal suit had weaseled his way into a soft spot in your heart.

He’d been so patient. Sure, you knew how to fly a ship, and you’re not clueless when it comes to mechanics, but this ship was unlike anything you’d seen before. So he taught you. 

When he came back bloodied and bruised, he’d explain exactly what he needed you to do. In one instance he had gently guided your hand, slowly realizing he didn’t have to patch himself up anymore. Maybe he liked having you there. It was impossible to tell; maker, the few times you’d tried small talk it seemed to push him away even further. 

But you didn’t want him further away. 

You wanted him right here.

Figured that one out week two. 

Week three the kid decided you didn’t need sleep. He cried and whined until you hung up that makeshift strand of lights. Then he sat and stared up at them like they were the most beautiful thing in the galaxy. So you made more things to pass the time. And more. And more. 

You don’t even remember finally falling asleep, so waking up in the cot was a surprise. You slipped out of bed to figure out what was going on but stopped dead in your tracks when you heard him laugh.

The hatch to the cockpit was open, and from the low angle, you could just barely see the child sitting on the Mandalorian’s lap. 

“It looks cute on you, kid.” The baby giggled and reached out for his arms. The wire crown was sitting on his head again. “How does mine look?” 

The crown you barely remembered making for him during the third-week fever dream was clearly resting on his head, atop the helmet and all. The baby cooed.

When you landed he practically announced that the day was yours and you were free to go off and enjoy yourself. You thought about asking him to tag along but worried it’d be overstepping. Maker, the man had to have been just as, or even more, exhausted as you. Your pity didn’t run too deep, though. You knew it was selfish, but you hoped that maybe he’d want to be with you.

You tried your hardest to not seem disappointed when you turned to see him still in the hull as you strode down the gangway. You walked to clear your mind before popping into a cantina, which ended up being the center of life, and finding peace with the bottle. 

The buzz had almost completely worn off by now, and you were back. And he was back. And he was holding you like he couldn’t risk letting you go. 

-----

He looked down at her and let out a sigh. “Next time, sweet girl. We need to get you to bed before you’re out on the floor.”

Her face flushed pink at the sound of his words. Stars, at least he hoped that was why. He could practically see the wheels turning behind her eyes asking, ‘sweet girl? When did you get so soft on me?’ 

She pushed up on her toes, flattening her body completely against his. Her arms were still around his neck, and he carefully brought his hands together behind her waist. Had he not been wearing the kriffing helmet he would have been able to feel her breath against his neck as she nestled herself impossibly closer. 

“Can I tell you a secret?” she whispered.

He gave a curt nod, his body stiff and tense under her.

“I wanted to leave the second after it started,” Her voice dropped even lower and her eyes fluttered shut, “... figured it’d be more fun here with you.” 

His heart stilled as he realized her invisible beskar helmet had been lifted. He hoped it fell from her shoulders and rolled down the ramp, was lost in the night, maybe even stolen by scavengers, never to be seen between the two of them again. 

She could feel his grip on her back tighten as his head relaxed onto her shoulder.    

“Tomorrow night we’ll stay in,” his voice was just loud enough to pass through the modulator.  

A smile crept across her face, “I’ll hold you to it, Mando.”

“I’m a man of my word.”

“I know.”