#sometimes i think to myself ..
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who here really thought they announced norman's passing even close to the day it happened? they could barely say his name for a year after like please
#sometimes i think to myself#i might know dnp a bit too well at this point#because nothing he says surprises me#puddle talks
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you may wonder, "how do you portray bruce so well in your fanfics?" well, it comes with a price. and that price is my sanity
#sometimes i think to myself#why couldn't you have picked an easier ship#no but i had to go with bruce who rarely says what he is actually thinking#would never admit certain things out loud#is shit at communicating#keeps convo at bare minimum#he is making me go insane#this emotional repressed traumatized stoic mf will be the death of me#also YES my portrayal is far from perfect ik ik this is just a jokey little post
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scrolling thru my posted fics on ao3 is so unbelievably funny to me. the inherent whiplash of going from my It's the Great AFC Richmond Team, Charlie Brown series to the mom city fix it to the football kiddos au to a random thor and loki fic to two (2) multi-chaptered wip fics created solely for the purpose of Giving Jamie Hugs is So Much. apologies to everybody subscribed to me over there it truly is a mixed bag of tricks innit!
#sometimes i think to myself#you have a brand. people who read your writing know what they're getting into.#and uh#no! no i do not think they do! not even i can predict the twists and turns of my own fic writing adventures!#sid speaks#my writing
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Being able to provide for somebody u love and protect them feels like one of the best things in the entire world. for as long as it seems like ur not taking me for a ride or taking me for granted i can keep going
#sometimes i think to myself#what if i’d just done what my peers did and gone into advertising or smth#earn a lot then give these ppl a comfortable life#but that would have come at the expense of some things i was doing for others#see: that’s one of the reasons i have become so angry and caustic#because in keeping w the principles of leftist ideology. coming from a place of genuine care#i reminded myself thru all the pain that i am not the only person on earth with people they love
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she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
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can you believe that we have fanfiction. that we have websites dedicated to fanfiction. that there is a place that you can go and read tens, hundreds, thousands and thousands of pieces of writing that strangers have made. people who are not "writers". people who come home at the end of the day and have feelings and say, i am going to put that into words. i am going to share those words. short, long, sweet, sad, horny, funny, wonderful words. we are all just human and we all love to make and remake and share that with others. can you believe that.
#ao3#archive of our own#fanfiction#sometimes i can't even believe how much i myself have written. like i think i am not a writer. i am not doing enough. i do not write enough#and i look back and i have 34 (34!!) works on ao3 and reams of unpublished work on my computer and so long left to live. so i think#we will be okay.#writing
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been replaying the Portal series I think this is where its heading
#i haven't drawn in like. half a month. which listen i know i don't post much here but i do draw a lot#i have another blog. but also sometimes i just don't post things. i draw for myself#just got burnt out from working on an animation final 😔#so anyway. eased myself back in with a silly comic about portal#my irl saw my shitty sketch and thought glados was painting chell which is very funny to me.#chelldos#but like. unrequited. glados is obsessed with chell. chell is not having a good time#portal#chell#GlaDOS#GlaD0S#my art#og post#1k#5k#10k#20k#edit: i made this post almost a year ago and it haunts me. theres a typo. chell is out of character.#because i couldn't come up with a good reason for her to be there in the first place#and this was a shitty ms paint replicating drawing that i did just to get back into drawing#i didn't think it would gain much attention#i was Wrong#anyway someone in the comments said this is what happens when you speedrun thats an infintely better setup for the punchline#EDIT 2: ok i fixed it fuck you
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irl i don't normally tell people my pronouns unless they directly ask, but this has led to a very silly occurrence i call DLC pronouns. my gender is a sidequest you can unlock in the dialogue tree if your character has a high enough lgbtqia+ stat . or if my pride keyring falls out of my pocket.
#i generally think it is good to be out and proud as long as you are not in danger and i try not to give in to the urge to make myself more#digestable to people i dislike anyways#but sometimes you find a good job with good coworkers and bad management and getting to move up in the company means comprimise#capitalism sucks for everyone though because there is no corporate culture without average people comprimising themselves
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mombin pt 9!! it's been too long i'm sorry
(1)(2)(3)(4)(5)(6)(7)(8)
#stobin#stranger things#mombin#steve harrington#robin buckley#this is a panic attack i could see myself having no matter how badly i wanted kids#shit's terrifying#also i need to stop trying different brushes i hate it literally every time#also i'm in the 'fic writers stop demonising nancy' club#i Eat it when relationships end badly but let it be NOBODY'S fault#like think of the WORST breakup you had as a teenager. as a former 15 year old you're just so stupid and that's ok#sometimes 'i love you but we're absolutely not supposed to keep doing this' is MORE painful than one person being a raging bitch
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With the end of season two comes a second redraw!
[Nov 2022] [June 2023] [June 2024]
#better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#I was really looking forwards to this redraw - though the jump in skill isn't as dramatic as the last one I still am proud of my progress!#It's really incredible to look back on this last year and how much has happened since then.#Both in my personal life and this blog.#I started the second season while I was going through some pretty rough times and it truly kept my sanity afloat.#I challenged myself a lot more this year! And while it didn't always turn out the way I hoped-#-being messy and earnestly trying to do something different has been my favourite part of art.#There will always be a lot of room to grow - I don't think art and creativity has a ceiling.#I went from doubting that I was even an artist to joining a gamedev team as the lead artist! That's character growth!#Thank you all once again for joining me on this journey B*)#Thank you for all the messages and support you have sent my way these last 18 months.#I'm so happy to have been given the chance to create something for this community. You've given me so much and I am so grateful.#I'll take a little break to post some personal project stuff this week and resume season three after that!#Onwards to another season of silly (and sometimes serious) comics!
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Do people not understand that even if someone was surrounded by money and food and water and clothing and shelter, if they physically cannot feed themselves or dress themselves, they would die? Because i feel like some people think that the Great Solution is eradicate poverty and not "accept that some disabled people do rely on constant care and no amount of resources can substitute the need for human help"
Obviously poverty and inequalities in society make it harder for disabled people to survive but i don't think some activists understand that disability itself is disabling and disability isn't just an outcome of ones circumstances
#i hope i explain myself well im just pissed off because some people think the issue disabled people face is poverty and not their#actual disability. “it's okay if your disability disables you” includes people who require care and assistance from others#its not ableist to say that disability means i sometimes cant feed myself without assistance ... its reality#ramble#rant#disabled#chronic disability#disability#disabilties#cripple#angry cripple#cripplepunk#cripple punk#cpunk#chronic illness#chronically ill
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Hot take but Dazai and Chuuya do not have to be solely opposites in everything.
Just because Dazai can't do/isn't good at something doesn't mean Chuuya automatically can do/is good at that same thing. And Vice versa.
They are as similar as they are opposite, their dynamic doesn't have to just be boiled down to opposites attract.
As an example, I think Chuuya is given way too much credit for how put together he is in terms of domestic chores, especially when he's a teen! This boy was technically homeless until the mafia took him in. He was a child on the street, with no memory, who was taken in and raised by The Sheep. Who were other children living in a sewer! For at least some of the time Chuuya was in The Sheep he lived in a sewer. It probably took him years to actually learn how to consistently keep his home in order.
Yes, in Storm Bringer we are given a passage about how neat Chuuya kept his new apartment, but that was also because of how bare it was. He literally didn't know how to fill an apartment with anything but the bare necessities. I don't think we were supposed to read that passage and go "Wow, Chuuya's so neat!", we were supposed to go, "Wow, this kid has no idea who he is."
Dazai living in a shipping container is the worse scenario, but neither of their living situations reflect a stable one. They both have no idea how to make a home for themselves at that point. Chuuya is as proud of his own barren space as Dazai is of his. The real difference is Chuuya was given his apartment by the mafia, whereas Dazai picked his container. Chuuya is integrating himself into the mafia and Dazai is separating himself from it.
Their living situations are mirrors of each other as well as opposites.
Anyway, all this to say, skk (teen skk especially) should get to be as dumb as they are competent together.
#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#bsd skk#soukoku#rambling#This is not meant to hate on anyone's head canons I'm just venting#sometimes I just see things and think “Chuuya is not that well adjusted” to myself#feel free to ignore me and continue doing you
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just looking at these hand poses was enough to give me carpal tunnel and that's how u know they're prime megu material
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#yuuji itadori#megumi#yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#itafushi#sometimes u gotta take a break from drawing megumi to draw different megumi and thats on self care#smiling megu for the soul he said heart emoji i said :D#i tried to do the poses myself and . u kno. im not convinced hands are meant to contort that way guys :( it hurt :(#so yuuji can share my pain i think tht bit is cute#tried smth a bit different w the skin rendering and i rly rly like it holy#very early era vacuumchan inspired :'> lov them SM sighs#also ripped megus jacket directly from a pinterest fit bc one of us deserves nice things :((((#if sukuna wont stop wearing megumi in canon ill just play dress up to cope
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Brb killing myself over the fact that this is what Eliot looked like when he worked for Moreau :)))
#putting myself in a hole in the dirt and laying there :)#HE'S SO YOUNG!! SO BABY-FACED!!!#ALREADY SO SO GOOD AT WHAT HE DOES THAT HE LOOKS LIKE THAT AND HE'S THE KILLING BLOW OF ONE OF THE MOST DANGEROUS MEN AROUND!!!!#sometimes I think about how young eliot must've been when he did what he did#and then I * think * about how young eliot must've been when he did what he did and that means he LOOKS so young#and then I die :)#eliot spencer#leverage#leverage 2008#damien moreau
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hey.....
sometimes all i think about is you
late nights in the middle of june
#posts that deal psychic damage to the right group of people#iykyk#sometimes i think ive had an insane online presence and then i remember that someone crashed ao3 multiple times and dragged a band#back to relevancy and i feel better about myself#not a tag#from saph
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not to demon post but like. sometimes i think about the "friends" label and the fact that it's a little bit of a haha in-joke but also... i mean. when dan said he didnt have a best friend for the first 18 years of his life he meant it yknow. like i do think that out of all the possible labels he's used, soulmates husbands arch enemies furniture who the fuck knows, best friends is amongst the most meaningful... if you never had a best friend and then met him and he stayed in that spot for fifteen years the fact that he's also the love of your life can maybe be just a bit of a bonus.
#dnp#dan and phil#phan#my point with this is that like. growing up not having a best friend is so devastating and isolating#not dating is whatever. not everyone dates. but it's expected that you have friends! it's expected that in 18 years you connect enough -#- with someone to call them Your Best Friend!#so idk. i think for dan to go 18 years without that. and then to click with phil so perfectly. sometimes i do think the best friend label -#- is actually the most meaningful out of the bunch. For Him.#i just think he's very very happy that the love of his life is his best friend and that his best friend is the love of his life.#anyways im gonna make myself cry. whatever LOSERS. whatever SOULMATES. WHO CARES. not me!!!!
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