#sometimes i remember how little the people i consider friends actually give a shit if im there or not once they don't need me

[butchnavi]

I miss my best friend

[semicolonsspace]

Consider Fake! Dating me, Stiles

There's a list going around at the school beacon hills. The hottest girls from every last girl that attended. No one got left out. And Y/n was number one.

TW: Dom! Stiles, Sub! Reader, Teasing, Voyeurism, Dacryphilia/ whimpers(sorrynotsorry), road head, blowjob, cunnilingus, unprotected sex, p n v, cum-eating?(is that cum play idk) praise kink, degradation kink, a lot of dirty talk, mention of round 2/Shower sex.

When Stiles found this out, he was pissed. He has had a crush on her for the longest time. And now that he had competition? You better bet your shit he was trying to flirt with her more. Y/n knew about the list, and she knew about him liking her from the rumors that she heard. She didn't know if it was true though, so she didn't act upon them. She didn't want to ruin their friendship.

Y/n was a siren so it only made sense for everyone to be attracted to her. But the only one she truly wanted was Stiles. Just like he had wanted her for years... Even before he found out she was a siren...

Y/n walks through the halls, getting stares as she walks. She smiles and flips the people off. She didn't care about no damn list. She came to school for education, not to be the prettiest. Okay, maybe a little to be pretty... But not the stares- She dressed how she wanted and talked how she wanted. I guess the boys found that attractive...

Fortunately, some weren't guys. She felt flattered that the girls liked her more than the boys. She was happy that the girls liked her. Sometimes even giving them attention to make them blush. She would blow the known lesbians' kisses to fool around. They knew she was joking around but she in a way wasn't. Y/n didn't have a label on her sexuality...

She finds Stiles and Scott at their locker, poking their sides to get them riled up. They both hated it when she did this, but she's done this since she could remember.

"Quit it, Y/n/n," Stiles yelps, almost comically falling and dropping his bag. Scott laughs at his friend, his famous smile now on his face.

Y/n picks up Stiles' bag and hoists him back to his feet. "Ahh, I love it when you fall for me, it makes me feel so good," Y/n jokingly says in a rich voice. Stiles looked away to cover his blush but she saw. She pinches his cheek and ruffles his hair.

Scott sighs at his friends. "Come on love birds, Lacrosse practice starts in 20."

Y/n rolls her eyes playfully and links her arms with her two childhood best friends. As she walks with them, Stiles interlocks his fingers with hers. She lets him, not thinking anything of it. A few boys eyed him, stuffing out their chests to make them look bigger than they actually were. Y/n winks at them before kissing Stiles' arm. He stiffens and she giggles, All while this happens Scott is smirking at the two. He had noticed for a while that she liked getting the boys riled up; He also knew that she didn't really care about her reputation, being mean to any person who even tried to come in contact with her. Especially Greenburg.

Once they get to the locker room, she pulls Stiles back so she can talk to him. "I have a plan," Y/n starts. He nods, his mouth parting to speak. She cuts him off with he finger pressed against his lips. "I'm tired of the people- I'm tired of them trying to ask me out. Please consider fake dating me- because you're the only person I trust-" Stiles cuts her off with a hug and a kiss on her forehead. He whispers into her ear. "Greenburg 6 o' clock," he whispers so only she would hear. His breath makes her shudder, a chill traveling to her knees causing them to go weak.

"I guess that's a yes," Y/n laughs weakly. He only responds with a tighter hug and a kiss on her cheek.

"Of course, Honey," Stiles said. Greenburg turned and made a look at Stiles before walking into the locker room. Stiles then whispers, "Oh, he's pissed, Y/n."

Y/n smiles wider than she's had for weeks. She kisses his nose and pushes him into the locker room, "I'll see you on the field, babe!" Y/n yells. Stiles blushes hard at the nickname. This was going to be harder than he thought... But it's so worth it-

--

Stiles ran around on the field, dodging through people. He was trying his hardest to get a score. It was only a practice game, but with Y/n cheering his name he had to play like his life depended on it.

Y/n sat next to Isaac as he was benched for a bit for shouldering someone so hard they backflipped onto the ground. She had Stiles' water bottle holding it for him when he came back to get a drink.

"Are you dating Stiles?" A voice asks bringing out of her thoughts. It was Isaac. She nods, smiling with a big blush. Her hands fumbled with the plastic bottle in her hands, avoiding his eye contact so he couldn't detect the lie.

"We just made it official today, but I've liked him since I met him," Y/n says kicking her feet against the grass. She somewhat tells the truth so it wouldn't be a whole lie. Hopefully, he falls for it... Isaac follows her legs and smiles at her. Thank the universe...

"Congrats, Y/n... I'm happy for you, Not for Stiles though, he's a dick," Isaac laughs. Just then a sweaty out-of-breath Stiles hugged Y/n with a big slobbery kiss on her cheek.

"She's mine, you Dog," Stiles groans. Isaac rolls his eyes and looks to the field.

"Ahh- Gross Stiles!" Y/n screeches. She wipes his slobber off and he pouts. "You erased my Love!" He kissed her again in the same spot and she couldn't help but laugh. "Better," He says with a quirky smile. He grabs the bottle from her hands and squirts the Gatorade into his mouth.

-

That was one of the few instances to show that they were dating. One of them was when she was in the hallway and a boy, whom she never noticed, came up to her and asked her out on a date. Stiles being Stiles walks up to her and hugs her from behind, kisses her neck, and flips the boy off. "Sorry, not sorry!" They both yell after the boy. They laugh as they said it sync, also because the boy looked so defeated.

"I love this," Stiles mumbles swaying while hugging from behind. He leaves another kiss on her neck. His hands travel her body, resting on her thighs and squeezing them.

Over the few weeks of them fake dating he had gotten more confidant. They had never kissed yet, but they had gotten close numerous times. And he wanted to, hell- even she wanted to. She wanted to kiss him in front of everyone, not caring what anyone said. Maybe she could? Would he let her?

"Being my boyfriend or making people jealous?" Y/n asks while giggling.

"Mmm," Stiles says before leaving another kiss under her ear. "Both," he whispers, taking another step toward her. His hips position to rest against her ass, his hard-on grazing her ass just the tiniest bit. Y/n's breath gets caught when she feels how much he likes it. Her eyes go wide and she breaks free from his hold, giving him a kiss on the cheek for the bystanders.

Don't get her wrong, she didn't hate the fact that he liked it- She even liked it...But she didn't expect him to like the plan this much... Now she's been friends with him since they were little! They showered together and even had sleepovers when they were young. They were as close as they could be. They teased each other about sexual interest but never have they directed their sexual stuff toward one other. That was until his boner pressed against her ass. She now made it her plan to tease him.

"I'll see you after school, baby," She yells, keeping it short.

She runs to the bathroom as quickly as possible, staring at herself in the mirror in distress. "Okay, maybe he would let me," Y/n jokes referring to the kiss under her ear. It wasn't better than being flirted with by everyone, she'd rather be flirted with by her now horny crush-

--

Over the next few days, they had gotten more confident with touching each other. She smacked his ass in the hallway a few times making him yelp and Scott- and many others- stare at her in shock. This time was the same.

She struts her way to Stiles, smacking his ass and then hugging him from behind. "Hey, sexy," Y/n whispers. His breath was caught in his throat.

"Hey, Angel," Stiles laughs. His voice was low, more like a breathy laugh. He continues to talk to Scott about something with a case he was helping his dad with. Scott eyes Y/n but goes back to paying attention to Stiles.

Y/n hands travel lower to around his sweatpants pockets. She stuffs her hands inside and kisses his neck to catch him off guard. His hands enter his pockets as well, you know men's pockets. He interlocks his fingers with her and she chuckles. She noticed that he loved doing that, interlocking his fingers with hers.

Her right hand then leaves his pockets and slithers under his shirt and he stops midsentence. He slowly looks down and eyes Scott to silently ask for help. Scott then asks a question about the case, and Stiles couldn't help but answer. His answer was breathy, but he got his point across.

She could feel his hard-on now pressing against her wrist that was still in his pocket. Y/n licks his neck discreetly and he cuts himself off with a breathy whimper. This causes Scott to stare at the two.

"Do you guys want some privacy? Because I'm pretty sure the hallway isn't private," Scott sarcastically says. Stiles shoves Scott's shoulder and Scott just laughs.

"Let 'em stare," Y/n says with a montoned face. Her finger grazes against his cock as she removes her hand from his. "Oops, sorry, baby."

"It's fine," Stiles groans. He grabs her, placing her in front of him. Scott and Y/n laugh at Stiles as they walk to the cafeteria for lunch. "Shut up," Stiles says in a small voice. Both Scott and Y/n could smell his arousal. Arousal was one of the few human emotions she could sense... only because she was a siren. "Do you guys want to sit outside today?" Stiles asks trying to get the attention off of him.

Soon the three were outside on the benches. Stiles quite literally dragged them outside. He then places Y/n on her lap, telling her that it's her fault so it's her problem to hide.

"I thought you were going to say something else and I might have slapped you if you did," Y/n laughs with relief.

Stiles' eyes widen and he shakes his head quickly. "No, never- But I'll deal with it later," he winks.

"Guys! In front of my burger?" Scott whines. His hands throw up into the air, causing the situation more dramatic than it should have. The fake couple laughs at their friend who is now the third wheel. Scott didn't know about them fake dating, he just thought they were actually dating. He didn't put too much thought into it because they always acted like this... just now they pulled the dial up a bit...

-

Later that day Stiles and Y/n were in the library studying. They were still extremely touchy, and it was driving her insane. Not that she would argue- She could feel his touches minutes after it happened, it lingered on her skin like a sticky lotion. And to think it started as a harmless plan that would help her escape attention. But now she wanted his attention- more than anything.

Y/n was in the library studying. Stiles had his hand on her thigh and she couldn't think properly because of it. She gave up on concentrating a bit ago and pushed her stuff away. Her head was lying on the table, her hands digging into the table to escape from reality. It didn't work because he pulled her to his chest and she let out a noise. A fucking whimper.

"What's wrong, princess?" He whispers in a worried voice. He knew what he was doing to her. He could feel the sexual tension. He bathed in it every time they'd hang out. Y/n had to keep refusing to hang out with him alone because of it. She would only hang out with him when another pack member was around. And damn did he take notice of it. She says the same thing when he asks. That she was busy helping her father around the house. He told her that he believed her, only because she had been renovating the house for a while.

"Get your hand- off my thigh, please," Y/n whimpers. He does move it, just not the way she asked for it. He slides it higher, a smirk on his face.

"What's wrong with my hand? I wanna touch my girlfriend," Stiles says simply. He said it so innocently, making her groan internally. Y/n snaps her face toward his, examining his smug face. She squints at him, growling while placing her hand on his inner thigh as well. His eyes went wide and now he was the one that is a blushing mess. "F-fuck," he moans silently, sounding a tad bit like a whimper. She hasn't even touched his cock yet and he feels like he's about to bust.

"Are you sure you want to go through this, Princess?" Stiles whispers, making her shudder to the bone. Her innocent eyes looked up into his. She smiles at him, teasing her head slightly as a way of teasing him. "Sir, You're the one who started it."

Stiles takes a deep breath. He could feel his blood rushing to his cock. He sighs and gathers his stuff into his bag, gathering hers as well and hoisting them over his shoulder. "Where do you think we're going? We have 20 minutes left," Y/n laughs, a little smugness in her voice. He snatches her wrist, pulling her with him. "Should have thought of that before you called me that, Baby."

Her knees go weak- literally. He has to come back for her and guide her hips through the doors to lead her to his jeep. "Fuck- all weak for me already," He groans low into her ear. Her stomach flips when he says this. "Be patient, dollface." She hurries into his jeep, wanting to get his hands on her body as soon as possible. He opens the door for her and then runs to the driver's seat.

The ride was silent, Stiles' hand on her thigh close to her heat. He feels the warmth, and he restrains himself, knowing he will get to it when he gets to his house. She wiggles her hips a bit and he glances at her. She sat biting her lip watching him drive. His hand on the steering wheel was white-knuckling. She leans toward him- more specifically toward his waist. "Would you be mad if I sucked you in here?"

"Would I be mad if you- no I wouldn't be-" Y/n cuts him off by untying his sweats. "Oh, fuck-" He moans as the jeep swerves.

"Focus on the fucking road, Stiles," Y/n demands.

"Yes, Ma'am," Stiles squeaks. She could hear the smirk, she didn't have to see it. He situates his hips, his hard-on being shoved in her face.

She laughs and pulls him out. She admires his length for a bit. It was bigger and better than she thought it would be. It looked like he groomed his pubes, they were nice and curly at the end of his shaft- like he had a routine for it. She licked from the bottom to his tip. He twitches when her tongue comes in contact with his tip. She kisses it, her tongue then sliding along the slit. "Fuck, Princess."

She spits onto her hand a few times, wanting as much lubrication as she could get. She then sucks him, her hand twisting at the bottom of shift what she couldn't fit in her mouth. She loves this. She wanted to do this for years. She wanted to use him as a pacifier when she was upset, and now she finally could. All because she was on the top of the most attractive list at Beacon Hills.

Y/n hums on his cock, the vibration going through him. He swerves a bit, trying his best to keep his eyes open to focus on the road. But her mouth felt so well- This was the first sexual act they'd had- how in the world would they top this? Now he really felt like he could bust at any moment. His hips twitched, thrusting a bit into her mouth. His tip hits the back of her throat and she gags. "That hurt," she pouts.

"Shh, baby, you can take it," He groans as his hand pats her hair. Y/n moaned at the sound of his voice. All of a sudden the car stops. "As much as I love that slutty mouth of yours, I want you spread out for me on my bed," He moans graciously.

Y/n gets out of the car quickly. In a flash, she was by his door opening it for him. He was shoving his dick back into his pants. Y/n pulls him out by the collar of his shirt, shutting the car door behind him as he is dragged to his house. Luckily there was no other car there, meaning that Noah was at work. "For once, I'm glad that Noah isn't here," she sighed.

"Same," Siles agrees. He then twirls her around to face him, picking her up by the thighs. He enters the house, kicking the door behind him, and carries her to his room. He throws her on her bed, shredding himself from his flannel. Then he pulls her to the edge, his face so close to his. "Can I kiss you now? I've been holding back since you asked me to be your fake boyfriend..." Stiles says, his voice so low it makes her wetter.

She grabs the collar of his shirt and pulls him in. In a yelp he kisses back, his mouth exploring hers. Gosh... He tasted better than she ever would have thought. She could even taste the gum he had in earlier that day.

Y/n was the first to release the kiss, sliding down onto her knees. She quickly pulls his length out, faster than he could recollect. His pants fall to his ankles, along with his boxers. She leaves a kiss on his dick that was dripping precum from how hard it was. "Gosh," He moans as his head falls back. "Just like that, Angel."

Her pussy flutters at the praise. Never would have she thought that she liked praise so much. Nor would she ever thought she would have sucked her crush-of-13-years' dick. The rhythm of her bopping was slow. It had him gripping her hair, his hand going along with the movement as she did so.

"Fuckin' Love your cock, Sti-"

"Less talking more sucking," Stiles demands. She obeys, going back to sucking his girth. Her rhythm was a bit quicker as she sucked harder on him. She stares into his eyes and he moans loudly in response. She was caught off guard at something warm hitting the back of her throat. "Fuck- Princess..." he moans, sounding like a breathy whimper. "Your mouth is amazing- Come here," He pulls her up. She still hadn't swallowed his cum so he was surprised at the thick liquid on her tongue. "My dirty girl- Tricked me into tasting my cum," Stiles growls. "Strip for me," He takes a step back, pulling his own shirt off and watching her obey.

All while she strips she stares into his eyes, multiplying the sexual tension by a hundred. "You're under my lure, baby. You realize you're going to want to fuck me every time you kiss me, don't you?" Y/n purrs. Stiles pushes her down, his hand holding her waist down as he opens her legs. His face was in front of her panties-covered cunt.

"Oh, darling... I want to fuck you regardless..." He tugs on the hem of her underwear. She nods and he pulls it off.

"Get used to it being amplified, Honey. You're stuck with me..."

He leaves a long lick on her clit, the flat of his tongue grazing against the bundle of nerves. His needy hands massage her thick thighs. It oddly comforted her. He hums in response, sending the vibrations through her delicious cunt. "My Stiles," She moans, her hands gripping his hair. He winks at her, silently approving her words.

Her eyes could barely stay open. The pleasure was just too much for her. He smacks the side of her thigh lightly, making her eyes snap open. "Eyes on me, pretty girl." His tongue goes back to her clit, his lips occasionally sucking on it.

"Mmgh- Stiles- I'm-"

His fingers were at her entrance. They teased her before dipping into her. Her head falls back into a scream, wanting nothing more than for him to fuck her with more fingers. He was one step ahead of her, adding another finger. The stretch was perfect for her, his long thick fingers were way better than her fingers could ever reach.

Before she could even finish he pulled off of her. He kisses her hard and fast. It was sensual, but everything but sweet. It was needy, demanding more of what she gave him so easily. He needed her, and he needed her more. And he needed all of her.

His dick was so painfully hard it was throbbing. He noticed- but he did not care. He wanted to savor this moment. He wanted to remember every small detail so he could use it when he was alone at the dusk of night.

His face now hovers over her cunt that was spread out for him. He places her legs over her shoulder, now hovering over. "Saw this position in a video once," He murmurs.

"Yeah? Maybe we can watch some videos together sometime... and practice the positions."

Stiles' eyes widen, his breath caught in the wind. He gulps, "Yeah-Yeah- of course, we can. But for now I really want to feel you, Angel," he begs. His cock was already pressed against her entrance. She nodded, tapping his bicep so he could get the point.

"Just fuck me already, Sti, stop being gentle-AH," She was cut off with his dick shoving into her. She was already a moaning mess and he wasn't even moving, allowing her to adjust to his big size. She grinds her hips against him, trying to get some type of friction.

"If I move now, it's gonna hurt, angel."

"I don't care, just move," She whines. He moves at an agonizingly slow pace, wanting to be his usual self and tease her.

"Stiles," she laughs. "Stop being a fucking smartass." At that, his thrusts were almost brutal. There was a slight pain, but it was mostly pleasure.

"Don't call me that when I can split you in two, baby," Stiles moans. His cock moves fast inside her, hitting every spot that made her feel like she was soaring through space amongst the stars. "Such a fuckin' dirty girl... All spread out for her fake boyfriend... Teasing all the other boys what they could never have... Only I can have you... Only me, baby, just me." His dirty words were mostly for himself, but she didn't argue. It was the hottest thing he'd ever said yet.

Y/n screams for him, her hands gripping onto something- which happened to be her thighs that were pressed against her chest. "I'm gonna-"

Stiles cuts her off with a loud growl. "Don't you fucking dare!" He kisses her neck hard, leaving a mark. It was hard for her to hold back, her nails digging into her thighs. "Tell me you're my girlfriend, baby, then you can cum," He whimpers. Y/n's vision faded with pleasure when he said this. Fuck this was so hot...

"You're fucking me and now you ask me to date you? Of course-"

Stiles once again cut her off. This time it was a kiss. Thank the universe for Y/n being flexible. But he couldn't kiss her properly so he moved her legs around his waist, his thrust continuing after he did so. "My good little girl... Love her pussy- It's my pussy now. Belongs to me-"

"Please let me-" She moves her hands to his back, her nails digging into it deliciously.

"You can cum when say what I wanted you to say," His thrusts slow a bit, becoming a tad bit sloppy. It only makes it harder for her to hold the upcoming orgasm off. She felt like she was going to explode with the utmost pleasure that she could ever experience.

"I'm your girlfriend, Stiles- I'm yours, only yours to use and to touch."

Stiles kisses her forehead. "Cum for me, baby... Be my good girl and cum."

The pleasure was too much for her. Her body shakes with the best orgasm that she's ever had. He moves into her to help her orgasm, then pulls out at the last second and releases on her stomach. "Fuck- oh my-," he moans as he finishes.

He kisses her, cupping her face and pulling her hair out of her face. "Such a beautiful girl for me." He picks her up, carrying her to the bathroom. He does something while she sits on the counter. He comes back to her with a washcloth and cleans her up. "You okay, angel?" He asks toward his orgasm-dazed girlfriend. She nods slowly and pulls him into a hug.

"Can we have shower sex?" Y/n asks in a hushed voice. He smirks and carries her to the shower, turning the water on.

"Does that answer your question?" Stiles asks before littering her back with kisses.

[oralmisery]

Dear the King of Hawkins

The Love Letters were a means of catharsis, a way for Eddie to bare his soul. In private. They were never supposed to be sent.

Especially the one to Steve Harrington.

Basically a To All the Boys I've Loved Before au💌

[ complete fic on ao3 ]

Rating: E | WC: 12,293 | tags: Fluff and Smut, Light Angst, Happy Ending, Light Dom/sub, Dom Eddie, Sub Steve, One Shot, Porn with Feelings

When Steve sees the envelope he isn't sure what to think. It takes him a moment to even register who Eddie Munson is. In Steve’s circles, he’s usually referred to as “The Freak”. 

Munson is practically a permanent fixture of Hawkins high. A smear in the background, here to blemish Steve’s senior year since he flunked his own. If it's not Munson then it's some other oddly dressed weirdo. There's always people like that. The outcasts, the dregs, the ones you ignore. Except Munson. He’s pretty hard to ignore when he’s standing on lunch tables and being generally obnoxious. It's probably why there's so many rumors about him. Well that and being one of the only sources for drugs in town, Munson squeaks out of most beatdowns; what people can't punch they talk shit about.

People say all sorts of things. Satan worshiper. Nerd. Loser. Trash. Creep. Dangerous. Freak. Steve’s not sure how he can be a nerd and dangerous at the same time but he doesn't give it much thought. He's never even spoken to the guy. Tommy always got the weed on the rare occasion they wanted to smoke. 

That's why getting a letter from him was weird. It came in the mail. The mail. Mixed in with bills and coupons. It has a stamp, a little American flag. There is no reason for the guy to reach out to Steve, especially through the postal service.

Dear the King of Hawkins,

I'm sure every day is a sunny one when it's spent on a throne and under a crown. The way you walk these halls no one would believe otherwise. Everyone around you–drawn to your wealth, your looks and confidence–are just subjects turned fools. Led equally by charm and wrath. I wonder what it would be like to be favored in your court? To sit at your side, shoulder to shoulder, instead of distanced by so much more than just space? I can only piece together a flawed fantasy. A distorted image made from the glimpses I get from outside the castle gates. Assuming I’m even considered part of the kingdom, that is.

What the fuck is this. Steve snickers, did the freak send him a sad hate letter? Maybe to everyone in school? Tommy was going to have an absolute riot when he showed him, maybe they can compare letters.

I hope you at least know my name, Hawkins being as small as it is. You've never once looked at me like you actually see me. I know because I can't stop looking at you. Even though you're an entitled asshole, I happen to agree with what anyone with eyes can see. You are so beautiful I think they need to make a new word for it.

Alarms start ringing in his ears. He scans that last line over and over. No matter how many times he reads it, it doesn't change. He checks the front of the envelope to make sure it's really from Munson.

I wasn't surprised when you received your royal title. You’ve always had a way of commanding attention. Inspiring people to follow you blindly with enduring loyalty. I noticed it when I first moved here. I joined the 5th grade class halfway through the school year and everyone already knew each other. I was alone and scared shitless. I know you don't remember but that first week you invited me to a game of tag on the playground. You were genuinely nice, funny even. You made me feel like I could actually have friends here. Then Tommy returned to school after having the flu and we never talked again. I still remember your grin though, you had a tooth missing on the bottom row. Sometimes I see hints of that kid now, usually when you're talking up girls. I've got this sadistic urge to see your smile with a few teeth missing, just to compare you with your younger self. Which is entirely plausible with the fights you get into, but I fear the temptation to kiss you better will be too much.

He's right, Steve doesn't recall that at all. He's trying in vain to remember, but his memory has never been great and he's coming up blank. Can't even imagine Munson as a little kid, probably without his signature long hair. Nobody describes Steve as nice and actually means it. He skips over the word kiss because it’s giving him a terrible stomach ache. He drops into a chair and sets the letter on the kitchen table so the sweat on his palms doesn't smudge the paper.

Ya know, while I agree with the king stuff, I much prefer “The Hair”. Talk about temptation. Your hair haunts me. It makes my brain stutter, I want to simultaneously pet it softly and pull it out of your skull. I get why people used to give locks of hair as mementos. If I had a piece of yours, I'd twirl it around my fingers, imagining what I could do to the source. I want to see those brown waves messy, tug on them until your head looks like a bird nest. I want to see your hair spread out on my sheets. I want to find strands of it on my jacket, in my van, and clogging my shower drain.

It's hopeless, this infatuation. Fucking terrible in all honesty. You're a distraction I can't afford. I'm pretty sure I failed history last semester solely on the fact that you chew pens. It's a cruel combination; wandering attention and a vivid imagination. With the amount of times I've pictured you stretched around my cock, fingers, and tongue I can almost recall you clenching down on me like a real memory. I imagine opening you up real slow until you're begging for it with tears dripping down your face. The background changes like flipping through channels on a TV. Over the hood of your stupid car, Mrs. O'Donnell desk, the picnic table behind the school, anywhere that has a surface really. I probably imagine us most in my bed though. 

Steve’s stomach twists and revulsion burns his throat. It's fucking gross, Munson is a guy . And why the hell would Steve be the receiver in all this? Unwanted, graphic images play behind his eyes. He can't help it, the letter is descriptive. He can feel cold metal on his stomach and wood chafing along his back. Taste phantom salt from tears. He reaches up to run a jittery hand through his hair but aborts the gesture midway when he thinks about Munson wanting to do the same exact thing.

He considers just ripping up the letter without reading the rest but sick curiosity stops him. Like peeking out between fingers to watch a scary movie.

If it was just lust I could handle it. Teenage hormones and all that. But it's deeper than that, more than sex, I want you to look at me like everyone looks at you, like a king. It's horribly cliché but I want you to call me baby and hold my hand. Most of all I want to show you that someone cares about you because I'm worried you don't know that. There's this look on your face when no one else is watching, like you're not here but you want to be. Like you're waiting for something that's not coming. I think it's loneliness. Heaven knows I've felt it enough to recognize it. Maybe that's why I'm still harboring this torch for you even though it’s pointless. I wish I had the chance to make you happy, to take care of you and erase the word abandonment from your vocabulary. Even now, through the crowd, in the bleachers, the other side of the cafeteria, across the entirety of this shitty town, you're not alone because I'm there loving you every second of the day.

Yours,

Eddie Munson

A drop of liquid falls onto the paper, right next to Eddie’s signature. It knocks Steve out of his mental spiral and he reaches up to wipe at his eyes. He didn't even realize they were leaking tracks down his face. 

you're not alone because I'm there loving you every second of the day.

What the fuck is this. Eddie “the freak” Munson is in love with him? What's more upsetting is Steve’s gut reaction; he doesn't deserve it. This level of devotion. He suddenly sees himself from an outside perspective. He's not a good person. There's an inherent reason why his parents are gone most of the time, his friends are mean and shallow, and he jumps from girl to girl. There’s something lacking in him that drives people away, unless he–what were Munson's words?– leads with charm and wrath .

How does Munson know he's lonely when Steve didn't even know? It's mortifying to put an actual word to the feeling. That his efforts to surround himself with people, the “right” people, have apparently meant fuck all. He must look so pathetic to Munson, a deadbeat loser, who sees through him like glass.

What’s the guy’s deal? Why did Munson even send this? What does he expect from Steve? He wrote the words himself. Hopeless. Pointless . There's no ask to meet up, not even a request for an answer. He just drops this bomb into Steve’s life and expects to make a quiet exit? Just wants Steve to know he's loved for the sake of it? That’s dramatic even for the freak. The guy spends too much time doped up if he thinks he's going to flay Steve open and get away with it.

Yours,

Eddie Munson

Steve traces over the word Yours, with a finger. He’s going to get answers. 

[ continue reading ]

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook:

𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐝 Part 1: I hate you

You hate how he acts, how he talks, how he treats you- like some dumb girl that's stupid enough to fall into his claws. But you're not that stupid. Or are you?

Tags/Warnings: mc hates kook, Angst, enemies to ???, past regrets, miscommunication, Fluff?, slow burn, sugar daddy Jungkook vibes, minor age gap, sexual thoughts, there's tension baby

Length: ~2k.

-> Masterlist

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

If Jungkook wasn't 5'10" and basically spending half his time awake at the gym, you'd definitely fight him. Slap him at least- but again, only if he wasn't tall enough for you to need a chair to reach him.

He just gets onto your nerves.

His attitude, the way he carries himself, the way he acts as if he's in control of the entire room, even if there's people in it that are twice his age. Nothing seems to ever bother him, nothing makes him angry, or upset, or anything- he always has that shit-eating smirk on his face, making him oh-so punchable in your opinion. He's so aware of his own charming nature and ability to sweet-talk anyone into doing what he wants them to, that it just feels utterly unfair to you. Sure, he's attractive- but only visually so, on the surface level. As soon as he opens his filthy mouth to talk and brag about all the different adventures he's already been on (inside the bedroom and in general), you just want to vomit.

He's a fuckboy, deserving to get his penis bitten off.

Okay, maybe that's a bit drastic- but he's just incredibly irritating to you. Mostly because you just don't know where you both stand; He tends to belittle you in an odd manner that makes you confused if he's being nice or teasing you, whether he's offering an insult or a compliment. And the worst of all is that whenever he does outright give you praise of any kind, which mostly happens very fleetingly so you almost don't notice it, you can't get it out of your head for days.

It sticks to you like gum.

You remember, for example, when he had simply called you a 'good girl' after you had caught his credit card as it had slipped out of his hands and tumbled underneath his car- a place he would've had a lot more trouble with reaching than you, considering the height difference between the two of you. This moment, the tone of his voice, the slight chuckle he'd given you, the brush of his fingers against yours - it had stayed with you for almost an entire week after it had happened.

You hate this. It's ridiculous.

Jungkook is the brother of your former best friend - the two of you back in school - inseparable, but with her moving out of the country to pursue her studies, you simply lost touch. Jungkook, however, stayed behind, obtaining a large share in a pretty successful company, smart decisions, and hard work having brought him into the position he is in today. He doesn't need to worry about money any longer, and he won't ever have to again if he plays things smart, It led to him deciding to invest into things he knows will retain value overtime, making him buy a high-end apartment in Seoul's prettiest neighborhood- which is why when a waterpipe had broken in your old apartment, he'd been your last hope of finding somewhere to stay for the time it would take to fix and renovate the damage, your own flimsy savings not enough to cover weeks of hotel costs. It had surprised him, you know that - but you also remember how surprisingly kind he'd been, always making sure that you were comfortable. But with that also came frustration - because sometimes he acts as if he's older by a lot more than is actually the case between you both. Sure, he's already almost thirty, putting almost six years between you both, but still. You're not a stupid girl, and he should stop treating you like one.

For some reason, that's why your hatred really keeps burning.

Maybe because he just belittles you at any chance he gets. He seemingly refuses to see you as a woman, always describes you as a little girl, never takes you seriously. That, combined with your not so small crush you've had on him ever since your school days, just simply doesn't mix well. You hate this.

You hate him.

And unbeknownst to you, it's mutual.

Jungkook fucking hates you too.

He hates how you flaunt your figure any chance you get, just like now, as you're sitting on his friend's couch next to himself, naked thighs on full display for everyone in the room to see, black shorts living up to their name by being disgustingly short in his opinion. He's also sure you've skipped a bra for the movie night this time- your slightly perked nipples pushing against the fabric of your baggy shirt, freely moving tits underneath the black item of clothing just begging for his touch it seems. You're always like this, as if to mock him with what he can never have for himself, completely immune to any of his advances that it just made him stop trying at this point. What's the use for his charms if they just make you laugh at him at the end of the day?

He hates you so fucking much.

Especially now, with you so comfortable next to him. It's like your dynamic has shifted over the past six months- mutual friends making you hang out more often than not, and while you'd been so deliciously shy and easily flustered around him before, nowadays, it feels like you've kicked him right into the friendzone, no joke of his getting under your skin any longer. He knows you think Jimin is kind of cute- but he didn't think that it was enough to make you move on from him this fast. Or maybe he had hoped it wouldn't.

He's aware of your crush on himself after all. He's been relishing in it for a long time, his career and the falling out of touch with his sister and you after she'd started her studies abroad the main cause of him never making his move. He'd been waiting, pushing it further and further and further in front of him instead of doing something.

And now? It feels like he's lost his chance.

"Gimme that-" You whine so cutely, leaning over his lap to grab the bag of peach snacks from Taehyung sitting on the floor, and yes, now Jungkook can be one hundred percent sure- you're definitely braless, softness of your chest flush against his thigh for a moment, warmth seeping through the fabric of his sweatpants and making him internally rip his hair out. He's glad he's got some good self-control under his belt, otherwise he'd surely pop a boner right here and now, embarrassing himself in front of his best friends and you as well. Or maybe you'd be impressed. Who knows. How much could you even take in terms of.. size?

But oh, it gets so much worse, because it has become your life's mission to just make him suffer it seems.

You now decide to simply lay over his lap now- body warm over his thighs while you swing your legs back and forth behind you, fluffy socks on your feet hitting your butt every now and then while you're talking to Taehyung about some mistakes in the movie's plot- though Jungkook himself is not listening, the rhythmic rocking of your body over his legs from your own movements too much to handle for a simple mortal like himself. All he can think about is how much he just wants to spank the living hell out of you right in this position- hand itching to just place itself palm flat over one cheek and just, squeeze until you yelp.

You'd make such cute noises, he just knows. He'd been getting those little teasers of them all the time, after all. How much would it take for him to make you scream? And how much further could he push you until you're just fucked too stupid to form any sounds at all?

That thought alone spirals out of control in his head as he's suddenly getting visions of you underneath him, hands bound to the bedpost and body flushed and wet with sweat while he pounds into you until you're bruised. He hopes you like it rough- because he's sure if he ever got his hands on you, he'd push you to your limits and maybe even beyond, his hand grabbing your hair while he'd make you gag on his cock until you cry.

"Move a little, I gotta use the bathroom." Jungkook grunts, careful but strong in his actions as he maneuvers you off his lap so he can escape for a second, or two, or maybe he just needs to leave entirely because fuck.

He hates this.

Every time he's got someone over to try and somehow fuck it out of his system, all he can see is you, and it's becoming a problem. It makes him suffer continuously, unable to cum if he doesn't think of you in any way- and it's embarrassing to admit to himself, no pleasure enough for him if his brain isn't allowed to connect you to it.

He doesn't know how long he can take this. He has to get out of here right fucking now- he can't just jerk off now because he knows how flushed he gets afterwards, there's simply no way he could ever hide that from anybody. Why do you have to even look like that tonight? Why can't you just leave him alone?

Well, that one's easy.

He wont let you.

It's like he's turning from the sadist into the masochist every time you're with him like this, the pain and torture he has to endure completely his own choice at the end of the day. He knows you're like this, it's nothing new to him- you feel comfortable and relaxed around him, and he likes that, he feels honored by it in a way, really. But it's also a terrible curse, when in times like these, he can't even slightly hope for some divine intervention to give him that k-drama worthy experience of mind-blowing emotional sex after a heartfelt confession of love. He won't get that, because those fucking idiots always seem to be there to ruin it for him.

And whenever he's alone with you, he pretty much forgets about it, as stupid as it sounds.

He likes taking you along to trips and travels he's got to go on; not only for the sake of company, but also because you deserve to see the world and experience those luxuries as well. He likes spoiling you, he enjoys taking care of you in any way you allow him to- and yet, it again bites his ass like an untrained dog because it makes him loose his initial goal completely. It falls out of sight every time, and looking back at it, maybe it's just karma. It's a higher power punishing him for being so goddamn stupid every time.

He slept in the same hotel room with you for fuck's sake. He helped you tie your hair one time, routinely takes off your jewelry whenever he takes you along to expensive dinners. All of those perfect moments to make a move- and yet he never does.

Probably never will.

"You heading out already?" Jimin asks as everyone now turns to look at him as he grabs his jacket and car keys, walking over to where you're stills prawled out on the couch before he grabs his phone.

"Yeah, forgot I have a meeting tomorrow early, sorry." He simply apologizes, before he makes a goodbye gesture and heads out, door closing behind him.

"Bullshit." You mumble more or less to yourself. "Fucking liar. He's got the day off." You complain, and Taehyung laughs.

"Why so mad about it?" He wonders, poking at your stomach. "Little baby already miss her dad-"

"Don't you fucking finish that sentence kim taehyung!" You instantly argue, tackling him on the floor to playfight him-

all while Jungkook questions his life choices s he reaches home himself. There's no way his fucking boner is still present even after the entire drive home- and it makes him have to come up with a plan. Maybe this really is just simply sexual frustration and nothing else. Maybe just screwing you will help him become able to move on with his life.

The only question now is; how does he get you under his spell?

[casanovawrites]

random sentence prompts  ━ from various tv shows, part 15

what’s happening to us?

so you’re not sleeping, you’re not having sex. sounds like you’ve been a complete fucking disaster without me.

you know i love you. right?

only thing to remember is take your time, even if there is no time.

i shouldn’t have to fight this hard to be seen.

all of a sudden, everything i thought i was fighting for is gone.

when i think of something to say, it doesn’t seem like enough.

i feel like everything is boring me. 

don’t do anything stupid. or brave.

you can’t imagine what i’ve done to get this far.

i was trying to be a low-maintenance girlfriend.

we’re just friends. it’s… nice. 

i know this seems like the end of the world, but you will get over it. probably sooner than you think.

i know all of the worst things about you. the shit that no one else knows. and i still love you. that’s why we don’t work with anyone else.

i know the difference between someone who cares about me and someone who doesn’t. i’ve been on the other side enough times.

i’ve never seen anybody worse at being in a happy relationship.

is it always like this? does it get worse?

i was too busy dying.

you’re the scariest person here.

i cannot exist with this secret anymore. you don’t understand.

it really is just us against the world, isn’t it?

you’re nowhere near as nice as you fucking think you are. 

you fight dirty. you use people’s worst shit against them.

i’m not your therapist, i should be paid for the shit i have to talk you through.

i honestly adore you.

sometimes i feel like you say stuff just to be a dick, like you store things up and make me feel like shit for no reason.

can it please be enough now?

i never wanted any of this. i didn’t wanna be at war with you.

i loved you. even though i knew exactly who you were, all of the worst things about you. so why do you punish me for that?

i feel sad all the time, and i don’t know why.

it’s not my fault that you feel like shit.

not everything’s a fucking joke just because you are.

i just ruin things, and there’s not even a fucking point to me.

i don’t feel normal. i feel like i’m nothing all the time.

there was a time when i’d do anything for you.

whose blood is that?

it’s a forest full of nightmares. 

only person that i care about is you.

one day you’re gonna make friends with people you actually care about. 

why do you insist on being the most annoying person in every room?

you know you’re a little fucked up?

you have so much love to give. you don’t have to give it all to me.

you can’t move forward if you’re looking back.

you make everyone sad. you make everyone fight.

i wanna feel like a good person again.

all this running and hiding has made me so miserable.

what i do know is that i don’t want to keep hurting you. 

what if i’m just as bad as everyone always said i was? what if i’m even worse than that?

you helped me realize something pretty big about myself.

you know we’d be awful together, right?

you look half dead already. i’ll be quick with the last half.

i think better when i work with my hands, so leave me the fuck alone.

you gotta die somewhere. what does it matter where?

i thought i’d get it right the next time around, but i made it worse.

sometimes, you have to do horrible things. no matter how bad you feel.

there’s something in your eyes, i could tell that you’ve been through stuff. 

i could tell that you were dangerous.

i’m here. and i love you. and i am so, so sorry that i hurt you.

we are all we have. us.

i’m not having a good night.

maybe that’s your cover, hiding in plain sight.

i don’t consider it cheating if it’s more of an exit ramp.

i need you to get your shit together. okay?

women kill for power.

i’m cute, i like when people notice.

is there a world where this works?

has the closeness of death made you feel more alive?

we can be friends because we like each other. not just because we worry about each other. right?

i think i just stopped caring if people think i’m a piece of shit.

it’s easy to move on when someone you trust totally disappoints you.

[randomfanner]

Halsin + Thaniel and Oliver Headcanons

There will be non-relationship head canons and relationship head canons, all fluffy or Angst content because this is getting really long. I was going to do smut, and I will do smut eventually, but this post is not the post.

TW: Loss of a child, loss in general, lot a of sadness in that. Also in general there is going to be expected backstory trigger warnings. Like the fact he was kept chained to a bed for 3 year. Also on a lighter note, drug use is talked about, it's pot.

Halsin will adopt everything and everyone if you let him. He considers Oliver and Thaniel his kids, he considers Arabella and Yvenna his kids. He considers most of the tiefling kids his kids to an extent. Nieces and nephews perhaps. He loves Scratch and the Cub and Tara(Gale has complained that Tara sometimes goes to Halsin's lap rather than his). If you leave this man alone in the forest and he finds and injuries baby animal or an animal, he will bring it home and nurse it back to health and it will come to visit or just live with you.

We get very little from Thaniel in terms of screen time, and also Oliver after he comes to camp so I am putting head canons.

Thaniel is a good kid. He is pretty quiet, calm and respectful of adults and people in general. He is good with animals, good with plants. Most of the time at the very least. He is... rather reserved. Halsin and Thaniel became friends not because Thaniel let himself be seen, it was a 5 in human year old Halsin chasing this fey child through the woods. He is shy, and doesn't really talk much to people.

Now, he does actually does seem to like talking to you. Halsin has spoken highly of you, Halsin cares about you deeply and you did very much saved Thaniel's life. You killed the man that tormented him for several decades. He does feel he can talk to you.

Now, with that in mind, Thaniel is a fey child. A well behaved and well meaning fey child but he is a fey child none the less. He does have a mischievous. I promise you he has tried to steal your name, and you fell for it Halsin has to talk Thaniel into giving your name back.

Thaniel and Oliver share an end goal with you and Halsin and that is to parent trap your ass. They like you, the fey don't like losing what they like.

Oliver is a little shit. He can be a very sweet little shit and he does like you and Halsin a lot, but he also can torment you in many ways. Mostly because this child has been alone in the wilderness and doesn't have any socialization. Halsin realizes this and is very good at being patient with the traumatized child.

He pulls pranks all of the time when he was around camp, and he does like to trick travelers when they begin coming through. However he does like you and he does like Halsin. So he can be rather nice, he may even let you have his true name... if you promise you will be his mama and papa.

He wants a family. Please let him have a family.

Loss of a Child, Loss, Acceptance of Loss, A traumatized Child

So, man has considered Thaniel his kid for awhile now, he would never say it because once he called himself Thaniel's 'big brother' and Thaniel reminded him, rather quickly, that Thaniel was in fact older then him This was when they were younger Halsin could not guess Thaniel's reaction if he called him son. So when Thaniel was lost Halsin was crushed beyond measure. He did grieve for years and was still admitting grieving until you came along and helped him find his son again. And make sure he would have a friend after Halsin was gone with the earth again. Halsin knows how to accept death, but he also knows it doesn't stop the grieving and that is OK. He may set time aside to be alone and just... grieve if he feels the need to. He grieves but he also remembers. He tries to make good time matter and last for as long as he can. He does... restrain himself during bad times. But when he has those small moments and any chance he gets, he is rather passionate. Even with the smallest things like a kiss or being able to hold hands.

About Thaniel because this kid has some serious trauma. So does Oliver but we get more screen time and information about Oliver so:

Thaniel is a very respectful and mature kid mostly because he is an immortal 8 year old. He is very traumatized. He gets friends and then his friends get older then him and then they die. And he forever young and in the forest. It can take awhile of course, elves live for hundreds of years but... lives for hundreds of years is different then living forever. And he hates being reminded of it so that is why he refuses to let himself call Halsin dad or acknowledge that. He can acknowledge Halsin is older but not that he is going to lose another father and another friend.

Halsin has tried to help him with this as much as he can. He reminds Thaniel that he will still be there for him in the earth, in the dirt and in the spirit. And Thaniel believes it, but it still hurts.

On a bit of a lighter note, reincarnation is I am sure canon in DND, like, there is a spell for that so I assume it is a process they will happen eventually. Druid just speed it up. so Halsin has probably been Thaniel's dad multiple times... (and with you a few times perhaps, if nature has willed you to come together through lifetimes)

So Oliver is like, the best thing that has ever happened to this child. Having a younger brother who will always be a friend is the best thing for this sad forest child. He has a friend who will not get older than him and die.

Small note with Oliver

So, Haslin likes to whittle and just. One day Oliver asks for figure of Mommy and Daddy and his Dog and Halsin does make them for him, of course, and Oliver just sort of puts it on display and man, Halsin has never felt sorry for killing a shadow once in his life and now here he is, mourning with his son because ya.

I have my own traumatized immortal natural spirit child so I really like Thaniel and Oliver. Can you tell?

We done with the angst mostly, be warned pot still remains and so does general Halsin Trauma.

So anyway, I am not crying, and Halsin is a walking snack machine I swear. We are using all DND spells and he has create food and water at all times and uses it a lot. Ever short rest you all get food, water, and he even has bowls and cups prepared at all times that he whittles himself so you have something to enjoy your snack in. He does also offer food and water to all of the refugees when you get to Baldur's Gate.

His snacks consist of berries, nuts and different seeds, when it is a longer rest he can summon meat and vegetables. You know he helps with this sort of stuff all of the time. He likes to cook and I believe he is probably a pretty good cook.

He knows how to cook with a wide range of ingredient. He can cook a dish anywhere you place him. He knows forests, plains, coasts, caves, and even the under dark. He is also very aware of general signs of what is edible and what is not that, so he can always find safe food.

Food is very much a love language for him as well. He cooks for you all the time and also makes you different kinds of sweets. He can bake, he can cook, and he can probably grill and cook on a camp fire. He is amazing at it. Unless you put him in an actual kitchen. Than the poor man because confused and clueless (Poor bear man doesn't understand how a stove works).

Halsin will take care of you no matter what happens. If you get injured he is nursing the wound and cooing that it will be OK because he is here and he has you. He kissing the wound and cure wounds it and will make and will make sure you are all better. He knows you can do with out it, and if you would prefer he can save or wait on the extra bits and simply take care of the wound, however he is taking care of the wound do not mistake him.

He is so doting when you get sick or are pregnant or on your period or if you get poisoned. Man will get you the bed of the finest furs and feed you the best soup to make you feel better. After of course, you down his awful tasting medicine that does cure you pretty quickly because he is a man who knows a thing or two about medicine. He is a healer. He knows how to make you feel better.

Man likes doing hair. It is an elf thing and we can see he believes it on his character look at his hair, he has so many little braids in his hair and he wants to do yours. Please let him do yours. He will explains why he really wants to do it so, you understands how much this means to him. He also wants you to do his, of course. But he just likes, adding flowers to your hair and little bits of nature. No matter what gender or how long your hair is.

Man is also always giving you small gifts. Something he whittled himself, flowers and snacks, pretty rocks, basically anything and everything. He is a bird trying to woo his mate by bringing them shiny things. And it probably works, let's be honest.

Halsin is REALLY good at whittling. It is a little bit more than just a side hobby and he makes toys for kids with his whittling. He will make bears, people, animals, plants, monster, a kid asks for a toy of it, he will carve it. Thaniel and Oliver do have a whole set of bear figurines that keep them safe at night and scare away any beasts that mean them harm.

However he does also use his whittling skills. He can make tools, bowls, utensils, and things for another day. Halsin does not normally need gold however when he is Baldur's gate he is very good at making it on the fly because he can simply whittle something and people will buy it.

Man learns about charity art shows and finds one that does it for nature and makes a number of things to be sold there and by gods is there a bidding war for it. He normally wouldn't be interested but you know, man wants to help nature.

As stated above he does whittle for you all the time, and he also really like to incorporate imagery that reminds him of you and the things you have done and the relationship you have. Sometimes he will care you elegantly into a cup, other times he will show your family through symbols, other times it is just nature. It is really cute.

Cuddler and PDA all the way man, he loves to hold your hand, give you kisses on the cheek, have a hand on your waist, anything to be close to you. He will stop if you ask of course but do expect big bear eyes from him before he does so. He does not mean to do it but he cannot help it. (In a Astarion x Halsin setting, gets hit with those eyes and just breaks and holds his hand).

He will turn into a bear and let you do all the extremely dangerous things to do to a real bear but we all want to do. Touch the soft and fluffy ears, squish the toe beans, don't deny it, we all do. It is quite sweet and has a wonderful time.

Halsin tends to go into a deeper trance than most elves. Sometimes he needs to be shaken out of his trance rather than spoken out of it. He blames it on the bear.

Also Halsin most certainly smokes pot. He probably experiments with natures creations like mushrooms and other things you can smoke. He knows all about the effects, what it will do and often uses it to meditate... or sometimes have a good time.

He would happily invite you to join him if you would be interesting. I think a high Halsin would be extremely entertaining to watch even if you do not smoke pot with him. All formalities drops and he gets so cuddly. He is already cuddly but he is falling asleep on you cuddly.

OK, so, this is a lot, there will probably be a part two or at the very least a NSFW head canon, probably.

[yowyowyaoi]

Deidara's Daily Texts from the Akatsuki, Part Two

From Itachi:

I swear I'm not mad just give it back

You're STILL not over that?!

What are you even shaving? You don't have a single hair on your face!

Not my business who you date, just keep them from fighting all the time!

That's funny because Hidan said it was you, asshole.

I never ask you questions like that about Sasori, do I?!

You better hide, Kakuzu's going around collecting rent

God you're a worse gossip than Tobi!

I know it was you my whole room smells like clay!

That's a really lewd thing to say ... are you really hitting on me or are you just drunk off your ass?

Yeah but considering I use nothing in mine and you use like 200 products in yours, I'd say mine is better.

Stop it. You're not a pet person.

Okay can you just come with me? I don't ever ask you for favors do I?!

Pay me back what you owe me first.

From Hidan:

Yeah but I'm hotter. Like WAY hotter.

He loves to say stupid shit like that, he's not being serious.

Bet his dick is bigger tho.

That's literally the most stupid shit I've ever heard. We're MEANT to eat meat, fucker!

Yeah but if shark dick catches us he'll beat our asses and Kakuzu already said he's not putting me back together if it happens again!

I'll pray to Jashin for you, you pathetic atheist.

Let's get the fuck out of here and get something to eat. Kakuzu's sleeping I can swipe his wallet!

Me and you? In your DREAMS, kid. You couldn't handle this immortal dick.

Why tf would I care about that? Tits or not me and you are brothers, man.

Crablegs.

No, steak. Rare-rare. Still mooing.

Fuck a vegetable. Load it up with meat.

No wait corn is good but make sure it's seasoned with the meat blood.

That cunt did not beat my ass he caught me by surprise! I'll kill him next time I see his ugly face!

From Konan:

I don't remember my siblings so you all are it for me.

When a girl asks how old you think she is always answer like 10 years younger than you actually think! But seriously, 40?! FORTY??

Did you always know or did it take you a little bit to figure it out?

Rose petal or honeysuckle. Sometimes lilac if it's not too overwhelming.

It's a complicated situation for sure. They both feel something strongly for you but if my opinion counts? I'd stay with Sasori. At least you know what to expect from him, and I think he genuinely loves you.

I've narrowed it down to you or Hidan. If you confess I'll go easy on you. :-)

Please be gentler with him. He may hide it but he's gotten really fragile these last few months and he's in pain almost constantly.

Threatening to "beat people's asses" isn't my style. I go for the silent kill.

Wow, HE did that for YOU? That's interesting.

Take it up with Kakuzu. He's supposed to provide you all with extra money for exactly these types of things.

I would just do it, Dei. Be grateful your punishment is so light compared to what you did.

Are you two serious? You realize we're all trying our hardest NOT to attract negative attention?!

Perkier if it's chilly out ;)

I thought about it but I've had it this length for forever. It'd probably look weird long.

Only if you promise to sit still this time. I'm not gonna have you complain if it gets smudged again.

From Kakuzu

Brat. Stop.

I don't give a shit if you don't like him. He's valuable and this organization can't afford to lose him. So SUCK IT UP.

The waxing poetic was one thing but the actual poetry was nauseating.

That's coming out of your paycheck.

How is that an "emergency expense"?!

I don't care what you feel it is, "unfair" or not EVERYONE is expected to contribute to the bills. You use the lights? You pay. You take showers? You pay. You eat the food? You. PAY.

I know you two are friends. You have fairly good ideas about what he likes. Help me and I'll take off that debt you owe me from last month.

Sasori can do that for you, can't he??

Nice try, kid, but you still owe me. And you couldn’t handle my immortal love anyway.

From Tobi

I'd ask you to come with but Itachi thinks you'll try and blow him up while he's asleep.

Diabetes was just made up by assholes who don't want us to eat all the good sugar!

He's really so selfish he wouldn't let me borrow you for one night?

Hidan said it was you ...

I KNOW you like older men! Hey what if I told you I was 31, what then??

Of all the things that could be under this mask, why would "sharingan" be one of your guesses? That's ridiculous Senpai!

Come on Senpai! Leader would be mad at first but I think everyone would like a puppy!

Just tell him that you were only home 10 days this month so you should only have to pay 1/3 of the rent

If you want to but Hidan would probably call you a lot of names for wearing it

Marry me and I'll carry you everywhere all the time. It's a good deal!

Let's see if one of the others will trade with us, I hate going to really cold places

Try if you want to but Konan hit me so hard last time I saw stars for three days

Can you make me a bomb shaped like a scythe? Hidan is getting on my nerves.

From Zetsu

It's complicated, but everybody's blood has a distinct scent. Your's smells like lava and ash. It's very unique.

"Love" or not I'd watch my back, child. You'd make a prettier puppet for him than anyone else.

The years don't go by but centuries do.

Come now, you could have left SOME of those bodies in-tact for me!

I can't imagine that it would matter in the long run.

If you three don't stop attracting so much attention we'll have to pick up and move yet again!

I can tolerate human food but it doesn't compare to humans as food.

Neither. Neither of them is a suitable match for you. I'd run as far as I could from both of them.

Thank you for the offer but I don't believe your moisturizer would be effective on my plant skin.

No, not especially. Things are much the same to me.

If Kakuzu said no then there's no point in asking Leader. Kakuzu holds the money with an iron fist and Nagato has never once interfered with his decisions.

A bit more rest and some decent food would do you a world of good.

From Nagato

Then I must not understand true art because all I can see is property damage and unwanted negative attention being drawn towards our organization.

I understand your frustration but please continue to work with him. I need Sasori to stay here and you're the only one Tobi will listen to.

Oh? It seems it may be time I had a talk with you young ones then.

I see no need for further recruits.

Yes, thank you. Konan used it on my hair and it worked wonderfully.

I'm aware you don't like him but please endeavor to coexist in this group with him. Also remember how precarious his health is before you pull another stunt like the one you and Hidan did yesterday.

I won't stand in the way of your personal goals but surely you realize how extreme self-detonation sounds?

I got you all these phones as a way to communicate efficiently with your partners and with the entire group over long distances. NOT to play games. Kakuzu tells me the phone bill is $200 over it's usual amount due to unathorized games and extra features. If this keeps up I'll take them back.

Next time please be sure you're checking who you're sending explicit pictures to. I assume that was meant only for Sasori's eyes? Now I have Tobi and two others ready to kill him to be your partner.

From Kisame

I shouldn't admit it but it WAS very funny.

But what would be the purpose? Samehada steals chakra, aesthetics don't matter.

I can't tell the future but I can guess that if he's stayed this long, then he probably means to stay with you for life.

Yeah well if one more "accidentally" goes off under his window while he's napping I'm going to make a sandwich of your fingers, kid.

I suppose that would be fun but good luck getting the money from Kakuzu.

I can't even imagine the lives they live. It's really more merciful for them that we extract their demon and send them to the afterlife.

Our relationship is so much more than that but all you immature brats ever ask about is the sex aspect. Shameful.

There's no way he bought that fresh, I can smell it all the way back in my room!

Wear your cloak and perhaps borrow Sasori's as well, it's extremely windy and chilly.

Have you considered a haircut, maybe? Or to dye it black like my Itachi's?

Lol relax it was a joke, no need for threats.

From Sasori

I did get them. Beautiful, but Kakuzu would kill you if he knew you were using these phones for such lewd purposes.

A "magic cure" doesn't beat eating right, going to bed at a decent hour, and exercising once in a while, brat.

Funny how they all think I'M the pervert here when YOU'RE the one who came at ME so aggressively. Brat.

I can think of a much better use for all of those pretty mouths of yours, Dei. Come see me and I'll show you what I mean.

Maybe I need to get you a dictionary for Christmas. Because you STILL don't seem to understand what "covert" and "stealth" mean.

Yeah well you nearly dying because of your own carelessness isn't what I'd call fun. So stop it before I end you myself.

I would never.

"<3" is not a heart. I don't care what idiots say. A real human heart is NOT shaped like that. I'll bring you one of my anatomy textbooks so you can see for yourself.

Yes, I suppose. But don't make it a habit please.

Your breathing sounded strange. Come see me for a checkup. Now.

I don't care for when he sends us on missions to cold places. Bad for you and puts a lot of wear on Hiroku.

Trust me, you DO snore. Like a steam engine.

Why you can't simply ignore him, I'll never understand.

Your eating habits are atrocious, brat.

You're quite the silly one, aren't you?

Mm. You know it's not in me to be jealous. But. If I *ever* see him touch you like that again it'll be the last time his fucking hand is attached to his body. You're MINE.

It's just baffling to me that you won't do it. You'd be the centerpiece of the entire collection! Come on I KNOW you love attention!

I wouldn't trust Hidan around something like that.

Goodnight, my sweet prince. See you in the morning ... if the poison doesn't take you out :-)

As per the Inbox request of @tulipunainenruusu 😊

[pharisee-son]

About me.

I'm new here and still figuring out Tumblr. But someone helped me out, and I realized Tumblr is actually a pretty decent platform. I liked it, and I appreciated its vibe. Maybe this is the right place for me—a little corner of the internet to call my own.

I'd like to share my drawings, lore, and photos here. To connect with people, find other SCP fans, and maybe finally write some roleplay. I hope that someone will appreciate what I create—it would encourage me to keep going. I also want to learn new things, work on my insecurities, and interact with people online just like I do in real life.

The lore I’m building revolves around the “Old Reality,” a project I’ve been working on for 4–5 years. It’s a part of the SCP universe, and the main character of this story is my persona, Dr. D. Patch. It’s my copying mechanism. Because of that, it can be potentially triggering, containing psychological horror, religious and sexual trauma, toxic relationships, gore, body horror, and other heavy themes. My goal isn’t to romanticize these topics—that’s not healthy. I’ll be sharing parts of my work here, and I don’t mind answering polite questions about it.

(Remember that cringe culture is dead!)

On this platform, Tumblr I think I'll just be myself, sometimes RP as my persona. Do arty stuff, make friends - shits and giggles. And sometimes be more serious - learn to draw better, help others if they want it. This blog is "My Diary".

When talking to me, approach with respect. Treat me as a person with thoughts and feelings. Don’t trigger me intentionally. Honesty and questions mean everything to me, and the words "please", "thank you", "sorry" are basic manners, even if it’s just the internet.

If you think I'm problematic/doing something wrong - tell me about it in a polite way + what I can change. I don't intend to hurt anyone with my behavior or be mean. Additionally, being aggressive, unforgiving towards me is a huge trigger for me, so try to avoid it (If it affected me, I'll just be very quiet.).

My profile is a safe space for people of all religions, races, queer, MOGAI, alterhumans, systems, and agere. If I don’t understand something, you’re welcome to explain it to me.

However, toxic individuals such as; misandrists, misogynists, all kinds of incels, "nice guys" & "nice girls" , TERFs, transmedicalists, fatphobes, homo-/trans-/-intersex/queer-/xenophobes, bigots, racists, fascists, religious extremists, fanatics, or anyone pushing hateful ideologies are not welcome here. The same goes for people who are judgmental, edgy, aggressive, mean, or who come here to complain, harass, or insult without offering constructive criticism (when I specifically ask for it).

I primarily speak Polish, but this blog will be in English. I use a translator and might make mistakes since I’m still learning. My DMs are open—feel free to invite me to servers, share your art, lore, or just chat. You can even vent and treat me as a friend. I consider myself quite sociable and enjoy conversations. I don’t ghost or block people without giving a reason first. I’m most active on Discord, and my username there is: “pharisee_son.”

Oh, and my commissions are open. I mostly draw for Polish clients (I’m not sure how to accept payment from abroad). My prices are affordable, and I let the buyer decide the value of my work. I’m also open to art trades with anyone. I mainly draw character designs, references, redesigns, or corrections. However, I struggle with poses and perspective. Still, I’m good at rendering, coloring, and coming up with ideas. I can draw different types of characters, though elderly ones might be more challenging for me. I have no issues drawing furries. Please don’t ask me to draw fetish art, but gore is okay. During a commission, I need to stay in constant contact and will ask many questions. You’ll send me references and guide me on how you want the work done. This helps me feel more confident, and you’ll get what you’re looking for. I’m not a professional artist.

I use he/him pronouns, my chosen name is Dante, and I’m a trans man. I’m 18 years old. I’ve never used substances and am generally against them. I live in the countryside with my beloved aunt, and I spend my days working on the farm or pursuing my hobbies. My fashion style leans towards punk, and my room is filled with a collection of taxidermy, dried plants, and old books. The bad things that happened to me in the past are behind me now, and I’m trying to enjoy life. I am in recovery. As for my diagnoses, oh golly, I don’t know, but – my medical records are a mess (Medical neglect).

I am here thanks to @banesberry-anomoly :D

Last update: 30.12.2024

[roseworth]

I read through your Dick Grayson asks and I would like to thank you for putting all the issues I've (also) had with his character into words. I feel like Jason fans (that have read his comics) are far more critical of his actions and will call him out on it. Meanwhile I haven't seen anyone be critical of Dick before, even when his writing activity hurts other characters (like him being the main leader in Absolute Power even tho it was at the expense of both Diana (a woman) and Mr Terrific (a poc), among others)

im going to disagree just a little bit bc i have beloved mutuals that Are actually critical of dick. not in the same way jason fans are critical of him because we hate on that man every day out of love. but my dearly beloved gay ppl in my phone will sometimes be critical when he deserves it

but youre absolutely right that just talking about people who read the comics (bc wfa/fanon fans are a whole different can of worms), jason fans are a lot more likely to be critical of jason. i think thats at least partially because every few months theres death penalty discourse about jason todd so a lot of fans feel the need to emphasize that they like the character because of his fictional actions and they dont actually support the death penalty. and since dick hasnt done anything that warrants that kind of thing theres less of a need to add disclaimers before talking about him

i do think that most dick fans dont feel the need to be critical of his writing, which kinda ties into what i was saying before about how hes treated by a lot of his fans as an unknown side character. whenever something happens to dick the general consensus about it seems to be "omg hes finally getting the appreciation he deserves 🤩" as if he hasnt been appreciated by dc and by fans for like 80 years. and it especially annoyed me during absolute power bc its not necessarily Wrong for dick to be the one to lead everyone but on the other hand the story kinda treated it like he was the only one who could do it?? i feel like diana was the obvious choice but she wasnt even considered. you make a good point about mr terrific too, i feel like hes a less obvious choice just bc part of the reason nightwing was chosen was because everyone on the team had a connection to him but a lot fewer people know mr terrific, but again i think the fact that he was kinda holding shit down during ap means he could've been the leader (idk a lot about mr terrific but it does kind of annoy me that they keep using him in stories to be the guy that gives everyone information on the multiverse then he doesnt get to do anything but maybe thats just me). anyways all that to say it makes sense to me why dick could be leader but it just bothers me that there were other choices but the story acted like dick was the only one who could possibly do it

and i think its not Super often that characters are completely ooc for the sake of elevating dick, but it definitely happens. i think it happens super often with damian where the writers will ignore his development and write him to be a mean little kid just so dick can say "remember to be nice damian ☺️" and very few people talk about it just because the people going "awww hes so big brother coded <3" are louder. and dick becomes the center of every team book hes on no matter what, which to be fair is usually because hes the leader so he gets most of the focus. but it seems like every single team book that dick is on becomes Nightwing & Friends where dick gets the storylines and everyone else gets the scraps and most team books are usually. yk. about everyone.

anyways thats my dick rant for the day like and subscribe for more

[mrsfrecklesmarauders]

TW: Mentions of violence and Homophobia

(Grant calls Remus John because when they met, Remus took a lot of time to say his name, he was beginning with his transition, so Grant started using John as a default. And that's how Remus decided to use John as his second name)

***

Summer with the boys and Grant had been amazing so far. Things surely were different. But Remus had the same fun he used to have. Remus worried that after a whole year in Scotland, they would have forgotten about him. But they had always been like his family. They were the first ones to accept him. Remus's first friends. And he was happy to be back.

Fenrir Greyback was surely more powerful on the East End. He dealt with serious stuff and drugs. But that also made him a target of more violence. Like the "little message" Remus and Grant had received last night from so blokes on the street.

It hadn't been only because of Fen and whatever amount of money he owned them. But also because they had found them very close to each other. They had called them names Remus was accustomed to hear by now. Remus was willing to ignore them. But Grant reacted. It all ended in a big fight. Remus got dizzy with kicks, hits and punches. The only thing that satisfied him was that he had decently attacked as well.

This morning, the consequences were heavy on Remus's poor body. Bruised skin. Dry blood on mouth and nose. Even a broken finger after some bloke had stepped on it. His whole face was burning in pain. Remus was actually scared to see himself in the mirror. He felt worse than a wrecked train after a crash.

As he woke up, his body was reminded of all his injuries. But Remus didn't regret any of it. He remembered the scared and disgusted face of Sirius after he kissed him. He remembered the nasty comments Snape or other Slytherins made of people like him. So he considered himself brave. Something he admired of Grant. If he was capable of dying for who he was, so could Remus. He wanted to forget about those posh homophobic boys and stay here forever.

"Ye're finally awake, darling"

Grant was crossing the door of his tiny room in the flat with a tray of what Remus suspected was breakfast. Grant slept on an old mattress in one of the rooms of Fen's flat. Privileges none of the other boys had. They were lucky to get the couch sometimes. But Grant was Fen's favorite.

He had a small pile of his belongings on the floor. Some books Remus had borrowed but Grant hadn't read (he said he was too dumb to concentrate), some clothes, and his stash. That was it.

"Morning"

Remus struggled to adjust himself in bed. Grant immediately dropped the tray on the floor and ran to aid him. He adjusted some pillows on his back giving Remus his iconic smile.

That's when Remus noticed the bruises. Swollen lips. Black eye. Dry blood on his nose. Remus felt rage. He wanted to kill whoever wanker that had left his friend like that. Though Grant was not a spiteful person. He smiled at Remus like every morning he had woken up in his bed.

"You look like shit" Remus said to lighten the mood.

Grant let out a little laugh "So do yeh, luv"

Grant's smile disappeared when his fingers traced through Remus's face. The skin was sensible as his index traced it. First the eyelids. Then the forehead. Then the cheeks. Finally ending up in a diagonal line which started from below his left eye went through his nose and ended up in the right corner of his mouth.

Remus's heart beat fast to see concern in Grant's blue eyes.

"Is it that bad?" Remus asked "Do I have a scar?"

In response to his question, Grant leaned in to kiss his mouth softly. The first time softly. A pause. Then the second time more passionately making Remus open his lips for him.

They had been doing that for a few weeks now. Kissing. Snogging. Remus didn't know what this was. They were still friends. Now more touchy. But he didn't want it to stop.

After pinning for Sirius for years, acting on his crush on Grant had been very satisfying. The sweet feeling of be wanted back.

"I am so sorry" Grant whispered, still with eyes closed after he was done tasting Remus's lips.

"I'm not complaining" Remus smiled "I like this... I won't mind if you kiss me again"

That made Grant relax. "Yer too adorable, John" He buffed as he grabbed Remus's chin for another kiss.

"I brought you painkillers that would help you sleep" Grant said as he retrieved the tray beside him and placed it on Remus's lap "An' gotcha some food"

"Cheers"

Remus wasn't much hungry, which was weird for him. But he could use anything to ease the pain on his face. If he didn't think much about how it was left, he didn't stress much. He wasn’t much good looking without scars and bruises. He couldn't imagine how he would be with them.

As Remus began drinking his tea to swallow the pills, he thought about how he was ashamed to come back to school looking like that. Sirius would probably stop talking to him. And The Marauders with him. Maybe the girls would take him in, but not looking like a freaking monster.

Grant was also quiet, looking at Remus carefully. He wasn’t even discreet as his blue eyes traced his face.

"What did Fen say?" Remus decided to talk "Have you talked to him?"

"He's angry, of course! Sent the boys to look for those nasters"

"He wants to revenge us?"

"Of course, Johnny, he's our garden angel, ain't he? Nobody touches his Lil cubs"

Grant sounded sarcastic with spite in his voice. Grant had only wonders to talk about Fen, so it was odd.

"Are you angry?" Remus asked "It wasn't Fen's fault"

"It was everyffin he's fault, sweetheart!" Grant spat "Those lads were after'im after'll!"

Remus was a bit taken aback. At least Fen had never discriminated them for being queer. He made silly jokes now and then. But he accepted it. He had been through Remus's transition. Sure, he was involved in nasty shit. But he surely didn't want to get anyone hurt. Any of his boys hurt.

"It's okay, Grant" Remus shrugged "They just wanted to deliver a message. We were just too fruity for them"

Grant grunted his teeth.

"I don't care what they think of us" Remus added.

"Maybe yeh should go back to yer daddy, Remus" Grant answered, concentrating on a loose string on the covers in front of him "Spent the rest of the summer wif'im"

Remus's summer had been divided on the adventure of being back to East End with the boys. That included this new thing with Grant. And the constant fights he had with his father because he didn't like his son spending with the 'wrong croud'.

Lyall was very content though. With his new girlfriend which he was marrying soon.

James and Peter had called. Lily had called. He even had found Facebook messages from Mary and Marlene. But nothing from Sirius. Nothing since that bloody kiss.

Remus was happy being a East End gang boy again. Fen and the others had made him belong once.

The Marauders as well. The girls as well. But they would never understand him anyway.

"Are you kicking me out?" Remus asked blinking in confusion. Grant had changed. For him the boys were everything, his family. Now Remus noticed him distant from them. He got into fights with Fen every day about the most stupid shit.

"Things aren't as they were, luv" Grant answered with a sigh "Nut fun anymore... It's dangerous. It's awful. Yeh don't deserve this"

"I belong here, Grant"

"No!" Grant yelled making Remus flinch "That's not true, Johnny. Yer far more intelligent than this..." he pointed around "Drugs? Fights? Guns? That ain't for yeh"

Remus's eyes filled with tears and he didn't know why. Perhaps the pain he was feeling on his face. Perhaps for the permanent scar we would have. Perhaps because he didn't know where he belonged.

The Marauders had made him feel like he was one of them for over a year. He accepted the fact that he was trans and even helped him gather money for his top surgery. It had been a dream being back on Sirius’s life. Being close to him again. Hogwarts was not a bad school. It was amazing. After all the shitty schools he had been before.

Now he didn't know what to believe. Did they actually want him there or were they nice just because he was Sirius’s childhood friend? Did Sirius like him only because they used to be friends in the past? What would he think after the kiss? Would everything be awkward now? What about the scar of his face? What would his posh friends think?

Maybe somehow he wanted to belong back with Fen and the others because he was afraid of being rejected again.

"I can't go back" Remus whispered with tears in his eyes.

"Wiff yer dad or to yer posh school?" Grant asked with a tiny smile.

"Both"

"Because of Sirius?"

Remus closed his eyes in pain. Why hadn't he called him? Was he really that disgusted about the kiss?

"No" Remus lied "Because of everything"

Remus kept his eyes closed but he felt Grant's weight on the mattress next to him. And he felt his arm wrapping around his shoulders. Remus leaned in. Maybe Grant was the only one he trusted.

"I remember how excited yeh were to go to that school..." Grant spoke "Grant! Yeh said with yer little tiny voice..." giggles "It's a bloody castle in the middle of Scotland! Lots of books, amazing landscape and bloody gorgeous boys... But none like my Prince Charming..."

Remus elbowed him letting out a tiny snort.

"I didn't say that"

Grant ignored him "Yeh 'ave lots of stories about yer new posh friends, yer new posh teachers, yer new posh classes. Yeh sounded so happy to be there... It started being about going after yer prince charming..." Grant smiled and Remus copied him "But yeh ended up loving that place, eh?"

"I'm not saying I am going back..." Remus twisted his mouth. Probably he would.

Grant was right. Not even with Fen and the boys he felt so welcome and happy. So comfortable. Fen had helped Remus and took care of Remus. But expected his servitude in response, his loyalty, to own him.

Not The Marauders. Not the girls. They just liked him because. They accepted him because. They loved him because. With nothing to be expected in exchange. Sirius had done the impossible for everyone else to accept him. But Remus hadn't done more than to be himself. And boom, he had friends. Boom, he was loved. It was surely a new experience.

"It's still a month before the end of summer. Why are you kicking me out, then? Why do I have to go with Dad?" he ended sounding more childish than he expected.

"I wan' to protect yeh, luv" Grant's eyes filled with tears "Look at yer face, Johnny... This's all my fault"

Remus shook his head in response.

"If I hadn't dragged yeh into this mess..."

"It's not your fault" Remus pointed to his face "This... Nothing is your fault"

Grant sighed "Promise me, yer coming back to school. That yer making smart stuff and getting a decent job, John"

"What about you?"

Grant gave him his iconic grin "I'll be fine" then he leaned to whisper "I'll tell yeh a little secret. I'm saving up to finish school. Soon I'll follow yer steps, sweetheart"

"Yeah?" Remus smiled in relief

"Yeah" Grant nodded "But yeh do good my handsome lad"

"Handsome? With this torn face and scar?"

Grant responded with a soft kiss. He took his time this time. Then he pulled Remus closer and the latter placed his head on his shoulder.

"I luv you, my darling" Grant said.

"Love you too" Remus answered.

Both had worshipped Fen, the boys and all this life once. Because they didn't have nothing else. Grant, an orphan, practically lived on the streets when Fen found him. And Remus fresh from the closest, was looking for someone to accept him after everyone had made fun of him and called him a freak.

Now both craved for a better life. A decent one at least. Remus had more possibilities than Grant. But he was making sure he would always keep an eye on him. Just like it had been done the other way around many times.

Remus might be turning back to his Dad and school (despite the embarrassment of seeing Sirius again, and everyone with his new scar), but he would never leave Grant alone.

[positivelybeastly]

Would you consider beast being a closet bisexual @

"I'm an open heterosexual, thank you very much, and I would recommend that in future, you keep such speculation to yourself."

"Ehehehey, well, wow, that's quite the question, not often I get accused of being a closet anything, but, ah, pretty firmly straight over here, friend."

"Despite what you may have heard from the press or a certain ex-girlfriend of mine, I am quite firmly in the heterosexual camp."

"I think someone needs to have gone on a date sometime in the last year to be qualified to be anything sexual, no?"

"Asexual aromantic. And if you ask again, I shall be displeased."

"Do you have a pulse? Are you happy with scalpels in the bedroom? Actually, your answer to that second question doesn't particularly matter, we'll get you warmed up in no time at all."

All right, so this is one of those moments where I have to pull back the curtain a little bit and talk about how I play a character who is canonically heterosexual, but whom I read to be bisexual because it's truer to the character as I find them.

Now, you know, I actually misremembered how this conversation went? I remembered Emma saying that Hank had never had so much as a gay thought, but that's not what she says here. She say that Hank has never had any kind of physical relationship with another man, and . . . you know what, I kind of believe that to be true.

Because as much as I fucking love THIS moment, it's not a relationship.

We can all agree that a kiss is not a relationship.

However.

. . . Guys, Hank is, like . . . really queer.

This post sums it up nicely, but yeah, Hank acts in a very over the top, dandified manner, over speaking and over-exaggerating everything about himself so that you won't pay attention to the blatantly obvious. He performs masculinity in a way that reads as overcompensating because he feels like he's been othered by his mutation.

There's also panels like this.

"Flirt with everything this side of Boy George."

Boy George being the androgynous gay icon of the 1980s, yes?

And this is coming from Hank's girlfriend, who he has admitted in dialogue to only really being with because she feels stable and safe and familiar, a tether to his old life in a time when he feels without a direction in life?

Like, this isn't me putting words into Hank's mouth, this is HIS dialogue during a time when he was arguably his most heterosexual! Yeah, you could just read it as him having a wandering eye, because he's a very flirtatious fellow, but that really isn't how it reads, is it? It reads as, I need reassurance I'm doing adult, normal things while my life goes weird, abnormal places.

It reads as, I think I'm kinda fucking queer but I'm too afraid to admit it.

Because lemme be real with you, this is Hank at his most heterosexual, but there's. Some. Stuff. Going on here.

"I was GOING to go out on a date with you, really pretty girlfriend, but then my MALE friend turned up and I just got so excited that I went out with my MALE friend and am basically hanging on his every word and eager to impress him, while the straight people at the table (Isaac and Dolly) are on an actual date, and Overmind sounded concerned about three wheeling a date when they asked to come with?"

Ladies and gentlemen, I am a gay man, and I have never been in just a towel around my best friend while he scrubbed another man's back, because that's just a little gay.

Hey, did you know Bobby's gay?

I don't bring that up for any real reason, just, you know.

And then there's Simon.

Oh boy is there Simon.

From Earth-763, but.

Like.

Come on, man.

When Logan and Hercules did this shit, people were celebrating in the streets because it confirmed bisexual Wolverine, but when Hank and Simon do it, no-one gives a fuck.

But that's an alternate universe. All they've done in 616 is kiss (GAY), so maybe it's just, you know, horsing around.

Right?

Hank, you don't look happy to be put down.

Hank never smiles like this on the X-Men. I'm not exaggerating. I've read X-Men comics for nearly 20 years, and Hank does not smile around other people like he does around Simon Williams. He looks fulfilled. He looks free. He looks delighted, constantly.

Are you two gonna fucking hold hands, like, WHAT?

And you know what, let's talk about the X-Men.

Scott, for someone who said very firmly that Hank wasn't gay before, you don't even throw that in there first?

Is it because of what comes next?

I'm - sorry? What in the FUCK are you trying to say to me?

And let's, for a moment, turn to Dark Beast. Because he has some words on the matter.

You know what, yeah, Dark Beast does seem like the idea to suck, fuck, thrust and kill his way through a Tuesday night, honestly.

And look, I know that alternate universes are shaky ground to be drawing conclusions from, but, like . . . this is. Getting to be rather a lot of very suggestive dialogue.

Look, I get that there's not quite the same amount of outright coding that Bobby had before he was forced out of the closet (Cloud, Emma Frost's prodding at his mind, all the stuff stacking up across Lobdell and Austen and Liu), but it's still . . . questionable. Isn't it? Like, at this point, I have to question why we think Hank has to be straight. Which is why I don't think he is.

So, now we get to the point of the evening where I pull at the curtain, because how Hank talks about himself in my threads works according to a certain kind of logic - canonically, as of right now, 21st of January 2024, he's officially straight, so any references to canon events will be as if he's 'straight' but actually just closeted bisexual. Because I care about continuity and keeping my facts straight and drawing as closely from the comics as possible - within reason - but my interpretation still takes precedence.

And my interpretation is that Hank, at any point in his life, is a bisexual man who feels afraid to admit it. But here's the question you're going to ask - WHY is he afraid to admit it?

You could go with an answer that draws on canon, and point out that when he tested the waters with coming out as gay, Scott and Emma both basically verbally smacked him and said he wasn't.

But that's not my style. I don't personally read it that way.

In my mind, Hank considers coming out to be That One Last Step Past Normal that goes too far. Like, it's one thing if he's a blue furred, canonically kinky, canonically weird, basically canonically bipolar, canonically psychologically damaged beast, but if he's a blue furred kinky weird bipolar psychologically damaged bisexual beast, that's the point where people will turn on him and be disgusted.

I could see him drawing that invisible line and deciding, I have to keep this one aspect of me to myself because I can't trust people to accept that from me. I think Hank has conditioned himself to believe that being accepted is something he has to earn over and over again, in part because of how Xavier schooled the X-Men's train of thought on that, but also because, unlike Nightcrawler, he knows what it's like to go from passing to not passing, and experiencing that scarred him in a way?

Like, one of the last bits of good Hank content we got before Krakoa was that Christmas special where he's back at his parents' for the holiday, and he can hear them talking from downstairs, and they're their usual lovely sweet selves, but they mention wanting grandkids, and . . . for someone whose bedrock, whose psychological wellbeing, is so incredibly dependent on other people, especially his parents and friends, I could see him being terrified of threatening that, even if it means he has to hide a part of who he is (perhaps unnecessarily).

There may be a degree of that where I'm projecting, because I had to deal with my dad being very heteronormative for a while after I realised I was gay, and even though I was certain he wouldn't reject me because of it, it felt easier to just not challenge that and let it slide because What If, you know?

But I feel like it makes sense for how Hank is, with his very tenuous relationship with feeling accepted, and I feel like this also accounts for why Emma 'saw' that he was straight in New X-Men, because he's wound himself into a psychological knot to the point where he reads as straight telepathically, even though he doesn't act like it and isn't.

If there weren't hints, I'd be inclined to be like, okay, maybe I'm just reading it this way because I see myself in Hank and him being a bit more like me makes me happy, but then there are GENUINE hints. The Exiles relationship, the fact that everyone basically treats Hank as Simon's emotional support, EVEN HIS GIRLFRIEND, and then the DeMatteis comment from Vera about how he flirts with everything this side of Boy George.

This isn't looking at pre-Krakoa Logan and Scott and thinking, yeah, they have tension, they want to fuck, this is looking at this guy who is extremely sex positive, flirtatious, open minded, and hearing from his girlfriend that he doesn't confine himself just to the purely feminine.

And it's also, like . . . like, I've talked about this with my boyfriend, and people love to throw out the YOU'LL JUST SHIP ANYTHING accusation, and maybe that's kinda true for some people, but I find I don't do that. Like, there are people out there who ship Hank with Cyclops, and I'm like . . . sure, fine. I don't personally see it, but you go for it, my dude.

If I genuinely did just want Hank to be an action figure that I smash with other action figures in a gay way, I feel like I'd have a stronger reaction, but instead, I look at the way he is with Bobby, and with Simon, and even, to a degree, with Logan (pre Krakoa, obvs), and I'm like . . . this is not the way a straight man acts. This reads as a bisexual man who doesn't feel like he can be 100% himself because he feels as though he's already asking a lot of people to accept him as he presents himself to be.

Hank's entire character from, like, moment one makes so much sense when you understand that he's basically always playing someone else. Sometimes it's who he wants to be, sometimes it's who he thinks other people need him to be, a lot of the time it's who people want him to be - like, I was reading the 2004 Nightcrawler solo the other day, and Kurt is internally narrating about how everyone on the X-Men is just an emotional basket case EXCEPT Hank, and I'm like . . . THIS.

THIS RIGHT HERE, is what the problem is! No-one on the X-Men is capable of seeing that Hank is constantly performing, and just how exhausting it is. That's why Simon is such a breath of fresh air, because Simon doesn't need him to perform, he just needs Hank to be . . . fuck, man, he just needs Hank to be happy, because that makes him happy, and the sheer lack of self-interest inherent in that dynamic is such a GIANT part of why I think Hank finds Simon so attractive. Like, imo, Scott's so insistent that Hank isn't gay during the New X-Men arc because of all of this, because he fell for the act, because he thinks this is just another joke that Hank is gonna duck behind.

Scott is SO INSISTENT that Hank isn't gay, and it's like, bro . . . Scoot . . . how do you know? You barely know what you want on a good day, and you think that just 'cause you and Hank hung around in the OG X-Men locker rooms for three years that you know him better than anyone else? He was on the Avengers and the Defenders and he has so many friends that you just DON'T KNOW ABOUT. How. Do. U. Kno. Scoot. Like, in universe, if Hank was working his way up to maybe coming out, and using the excuse of a joke to do it, THAT kind of reaction, and Emma TELLING him that he isn't gay, would push me RIGHT back in the closet.

If there wasn't coding, if there wasn't a genuine basis to this, it wouldn't have come up in Exiles, honestly. Like . . . okay, so multiversal stories are an excuse to do off the wall shit, right, and especially make characters gay just to push and prod and see what actually changes, right, like Governor Logan and Hercules, but they can also reveal a good amount of truth about a character out of what DOESN'T change.

And on a meta level, like, SOMETHING made Jeff Parker think Hank and Simon worked. He didn't pick Hank and Bobby, he didn't pick Hank and Hercules, he didn't pick Hank and Warren - Hank has NO shortage of male friendships you could pick from, but he picked Simon, and it's because there's enough there that even if you don't buy it for 616, it makes sense for a multiversal thing. Which means there's SOMETHING THERE.

And Ben Percy, cursed be his name, only added to that with X-Force. The idea that Simon is somehow going to be the catalyst for whatever awakening of classic, GOOD Hank is going to happen is just so . . . like, he still clearly cares for Abigail? They were on panel doing the eye socket thing? But, and this is partly because of who Abigail is, the narrative did not change because of her presence. But it does when Simon's around.

Yeah, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but sometimes a cigar is something to unpack. Like, I really Do Not Know how Hank became 'the straightest X-Man,' because A) have you fucking read Avengers and Defenders, and B) even discounting ALL of that . . . do you not find Hank's way of acting to be a little . . . you know . . . effete? Like, yeah, it's an act, he's playing the dandy, he's offsetting his appearance, but there are other things you can do to offset the Beast.

So why does he always go back to the brightly coloured suits, the loud fashion, the high energy, the camp, the billion dollar words - to put it bluntly, why does he always seem to act just a lil' fruity?

So, yes, in my mind, he's a closeted bisexual man, and that's how I play him. Thank you for coming to my lecture.

[shy-urban-hobbit]

Day 2 of Whumptober! "They don't care about you."

Five times those words echoed in Lambert's head and one time he was able to ignore them.

1.

Lambert knew his father didn't care about him. He's known it since he was old enough to start understanding the words the man would scream in his infant face - probably before that even. "He doesn't care about you." Held the same significance as stating the sky was blue - it was an obvious fact everyone was aware of.

His mother though.

He'd never felt so betrayed as when the Witcher came to claim him and his mother - the woman who had placed herself between him and his father almost on a daily basis, who claimed to love him more than anything - just stood by and let it happen. She didn't even put up a token protest.

Lambert refused to look back as he felt that "He" turn into a "They".

2.

"They don't care about you."

It had become Lambert's mantra, his armour since arriving in this place. They didn't care about him, so why the hell should he care about any of them? About anything?

It had gotten him in trouble more than once but so what - from how the older boys talked, he'd probably be dead soon anyway. Why should he spend what time he had left sucking up to dickheads and assholes. It had never gotten his mother anywhere.

No. They didn't care, so Lambert was determined to care even less.

3.

The world was a spinning vortex of white as Lambert stayed frozen on his knees. Voltehre - the one person in this shit hole he'd consider even close to a friend, the one who was sometimes successful in shutting up that little voice in his head. He was...no, he couldn't be. They were supposed to make it through this together. They swore.

"He's here, Geralt!" He heard a voice call out that sounded like Eskel, one of the younger Witchers - and of course Geralt was with him. He felt himself being lifted as someone wrapped something heavy around his shoulders.

"You did good, Pup. Let's get you out of this blizzard and warmed up."

Blizzard? That would explain the white.

"You sure he's the last? Vesemir will have our asses if they survive Old Speartip only for us to accidentally let them freeze to death."

Ah, So that was it. They didn't give a shit about him, or Voltehre, or any of the others he'd been shooed out of the Keep with that morning. They just wanted to avoid a beating.

"They don't care about you."

4.

The man he'd saved from the drowner was whisked away to the healer for a scratch that wasn't even bleeding anymore whilst Lambert was left in the middle of the suddenly deserted village square, barely able to stand and trying to stem the flow of his own blood running down his leg.

"They don't care about you."

And once again, "The sky is fucking blue" - obvious fact.

Just once though, Lambert would like someone to care when he got hurt. True enough, some people did but it was less of an 'I'm concerned about your well-being' and more 'I don't want to be the one who has to deal with a dead Witcher.'

He grit his teeth and forced himself to move, vaguely remembering some asinine saying about wishes and beggars.

5.

Lambert eyed the Cat Witcher warily. The other either not noticing his mistrust or not caring as he continued to spout random shit and grin whenever he managed to pull a reluctant smile or laugh out of Lambert. Acting like they'd known one another for years and not just been hired on the same contract a couple of months ago. As the evening wore on and the drinks kept coming (courtesy of Aiden of the Cats) and the conversation started to flow easier, Lambert felt the small part of him he thought had died with Voltehre stir hopefully.

"So, I was thinking." Aiden said as he drained his tankard, "That shared job ended up being pretty lucrative in the end and turns out I actually like having someone watch my back so what say we make it a regular thing? Twice the Witchers, bigger jobs, bigger payouts."

And there it was.

Of course he would want something from him, why else would he have been playing nice all night? How could Lambert be so fucking naive to think that the surprisingly pleasant evening had been just that and not a gods damned sales pitch?

"I have to go." He said, standing, "Thanks for the drinks."

Aiden - no, the Cat - wasn't quite quick enough to hide his look of surprised disappointment.

"Alright, well. I'll be around town tomorrow morning if you change your mind."

Lambert grunted in response before turning towards the stairs, trying not to think too hard about the look on the others face. Of course he was disappointed, he'd just lost a potential cash cow.

"They don't care about you."

+1.

Aiden clicked his tongue as he finished up treating the deep gash on Lambert's arm. After putting himself between Lambert and a harpie after it got in a lucky hit leaving him momentarily stunned, the Cat wasn't exactly unscathed himself but had insisted on seeing to Lambert's injuries first, "Out of the two of us, I'm not the one who can't lift their arm above their shoulder right now."

Lambert knew how the rest of the night would go. They would wash up, Aiden would grudgingly allow Lambert to look over his injuries while insisting he was fine and trying his damn hardest to distract Lambert (with varying degrees of success, depending on the level of nudity). Aiden would cook while Lambert cleaned their swords before they turned in for the night and Lambert would wake in their shared bedroll to find that the Cat had both literally and metaphorically dug his claws in at some point so Lambert had no hope of escaping - not that he even considered that an option anymore.

After seven years together - five of those as lovers - it no longer stung if "They" didn't care. He knew beyond a doubt that Aiden did, and that was more than enough.

[heterochromatica]

Anonymous asked: "I don't know how you can be friends with such obnoxious twins. Both of them bullied your best friend and have terrible attitudes as heroes. Maybe you should consider getting better friends who aren't toxic as hell."

"I can't remember asking for you opinion?"

"So, how about you shut the fuck up and mind your own fucking business?" Shoto isn't usually someone to snap at strangers, he doesn't enjoy it, he hates it, actually - but at this point he's just so done with this. He doesn't understand it. Why is it so hard to imagine that some people actually do grow up, become wiser and learn from their mistakes? Is it really such a foreign concept to these people, that some individuals are indeed capable of changing their ways?

Yes, it is true. He knows the twins can be chaotic, especially when in the same room, but both of them have proven to be reliable and trustworthy, even if sometimes they are loud and obnoxious - but Shoto really doesn't mind that? Never minded it. He likes it even.

"Cry a little louder, maybe then someone will give a shit."

[frankencanon]

I saw someone's modern AU fanart of some Naruto characters and when I saw Gaara it made me wonder...

How might we adapt Gaara's canon backstory into a modern no-powers AU so that he goes through a fairly similar character arc, with his relationships with his siblings and other characters being as faithful as possible to the original series...?

And I'm tentatively leaning towards untreated schizophrenia and subsequent insomnia to explain the lack of sleep and other characters' fear of him, followed later by his improved mental health and social relationships.

The insomnia would of course be caused by the schizophrenia (Shukaku won't stop screaming), and as for the schizophrenia...

In addition to the the obvious (talking to people who aren't there, etc)—I know television isn't the best source, but...

From what I remember of Fight Club and Mr Robot, from the outside the schizophrenia would sometimes appear like Dissociative Identity Disorder instead, where actions taken by the hallucination (Shukaku) would in reality be performed by the individual who is hallucinating (Gaara).

So Shukaku attacking people or saying creepy shit would manifest as little Gaara doing that instead—hence his siblings', father's, and the other townspeople's fear of him.

The only issue would be Gaara's Sand Defense...

Part of what made him so scary to everyone was that he was untouchable. Nothing you did would ever phase him; there was way for you to hurt him.

And for that, I am also tentatively considering giving him congenital insensitivity to pain—also known as CIP.

Something you've probably heard of before, CIP is when a person is unable to feel pain.

It's actually incredibly dangerous—imagine having appendicitis but not realizing until it's already too late because you're unable to feel it—but the reason I'm considering giving it to Gaara is because while it would not make him invincible—far from it, actually—it would instead give him the appearance of invulnerability.

Can you imagine seeing a kid get stabbed or break an arm or something, and he just stands there, completely unaffected, completely unfazed...

A little kid, just five years old or something, and he just looks down at the knife in his wherever and just...pulls it out. Without blinking.

An adult would find that creepy. But a kid, the same age as him? They would probably think him immortal or something. Invincible. Unkillable.

Little baby Gaara, unable to feel pain and suffering from untreated schizophrenia and subsequent insomnia... Why is it untreated? Because his father's an asshole, that's why.

Luckily when he's twelve his father gets murdered and him and his siblings are taken in by family friend Baki.

In the wake of the murder and subsequent scandel, Baki ends up deciding that it'd be a good idea for them to move—to get away from all of this.

They go to a new school where no one knows Gaara but they quickly become wary of him anyway because of his behavior...

Enter Naruto.

Naruto, who was put on medication for schizophrenia just a few months ago or so.

Naruto, who grew up hated by those around him because his similarly schizophrenic mother killed his father and herself after someone snuck into the hospital, into the private VIP section reserved for the president's wife (this is going a bit off the rails, whoops), and slipped some strong drugs into her IV which induced severe hallucinations and caused her paranoia to skyrocket—

(She was already at risk because she temporarily had to go off her meds since they would mess with the pregnancy and put both her and the baby at risk, but it should've never gotten to that point, it never should've gotten that bad, that out of hand—it was entirely That Man's fault, not that anyone acknowledged that afterwards...

Damnit, Obito.

No, they found out Kushina was schizophrenic and they all automatically blamed her, assumed that her being schizophrenic made her dangerous and unsafe to be around, and that her son would be just like her...)

Naruto, who grew up with the adults around him constantly expecting him to snap—their wariness causing a similar wariness (distrust, distaste, avoidance) in their children.

Naruto notices Gaara, and he gets him help—tells Kakashi-sensei who tells Baki who had up till now had been warily avoiding the child, taking notes from Gaara's shitty father, and not bothering to consider why Gaara behaved the way he did...

Gaara is taken to get help. He's prescribed medication and eventually starts to get better, bit by bit. Shukaku quiets and Gaara is finally able to sleep—which surprisingly (it really shouldn't be surprising) does wonders for his mental health.

And throughout all of this, Naruto is an invaluable presence—the wonder that is having a friend who understands, and who isn't afraid of him...

Anyway, yeah. That's how I think it could work—just replace jinchūriki with schizophrenia basically... Plus some other stuff.

—

※ Quick reminder: I do not have any of the disorders listed—schizophrenia, insomnia, or congenital insensitivity to pain.

My knowledge of these conditions mostly comes from television and the internet; please take it with a grain of salt.

I repeat:

I am not a reliable source of information for any of this.

Thank you for your time.

[unearthlytwilight]

starting this again, I think.

last time: lotta shit happened. Lisa got retconned into an idol, fulfilled part of the Evil Prophecy by singing, and then some jackass tried to blow up the venue and her friends got drained of their dreams and all that. weirdly poignant moments about her feelings as an outsider, too. then the same guy tried to blow shit up again but we stopped him. also he kept calling Tatsuya "Cursed Star" but it's probably fine

I really do like how they handle Lisa. like, considering how they handle the Lovers girls in 3/4/5 I was not expecting much. but wow. sucks that you lose her for the entire dungeon though

also Eikichi clears again. my man. it's that whole "two bickering characters care about each other deep down" trope but it's done well. you never get the sense that they actively dislike each other, it's just that they're teenagers and Like That sometimes

yeah get his creep ass

also we stopped bombing guy again. twice. well we only beat him up the second time but we evacuated people from the place he was going to bomb the first time so. small victories.

but wait! before bombing guy died he said some important stuff about Mr. Kashihara, who was important to the Evil Prophecy plot before he died. so that's a lead we follow up on

excuse me the WHAT. man you can't drop stuff like that and not explain (I'm sure it was explained earlier but. I forgor)

and but so anyway Lisa wants to go to Mt. Iwato because she wants us all to remember some stuff that happened. we get there and find out, through a series of flashbacks, that the gang knew each other as kids but forgot about it. they also called themselves the Masked Circle because they all wore masks, which if you're keeping track is also the name of the villain conspiracy behind the bombs and stuff. at the end of summer Lisa, Eikichi, and this strange Jun kid lock "big sis" in the shrine (so she can't leave at the end of the summer, this is explicitly referred to as dumb kid logic) and by freak coincidence, the bombing guy went to burn down the shrine because pyromania that same night. Cue Tatsuya's Personas awakening and giving bombing guy his big ol' burn scar, which he was really salty about still. fine, except Maya has been acting weird and keeps saying shit like this:

weird, huh? Yukino is off in the background saying "Jesus fucking Christ" to all of this and I don't blame her.

anyway! it's revealed that 1) Maya is "big sis" and remembers being locked in the shrine and dying, and resents the gang for it enough to try and kill them and 2) psych, it's actually an evil copy of her created by the rumors that the party was actually the terrorists, because the real one shows up and is like "nah, go home, man". Joker shows up and freaks out for a little bit, insisting that Maya is dead. hmm I wonder who he could be.

after the fight, fake ghost kid Maya rolls up, explains the deal (she exists because of the rumor that "a kid died in the shrine fire ten years ago", rumors becoming reality, etc etc) and I am left with a new existential contemplation, because fake ghost kid Maya is self-aware that she's fake and talking to the real one. idk man something about that sits weird with me.

anyway! a golden butterfly shows up and we're whisked off to Philemon's place, where he's like "yeah, get that kid some help, man" (and gives you the Prime Personas if you made the right decisions).

we are shunted back to reality only to find, I shit you not, a Nazi air raid happening. I'm not lying, the cutscene is on YouTube and everything. feel free to check. they're going to a place mentioned in the Evil Prophecy to uncover alien artifacts and ascend beyond humanity by killing almost everyone else.

next time: hopefully we don't, y'know, let them do that. that would be really bad.

bonus:

pov: when cosplaying goes too far

[mareenavee]

For the Asks to Spread Love, pick and answer 3 that you haven't been asked already! 🧡

Hello again, bri!! Thanks for sending more of these for me! I've really enjoyed catching up on them and thinking through these today!

Fandom Positivity asks from this game here.

10. A popular character you actually really like and why.

I do like me some rare characters most of all lol. My perspective is a bit biased because I love the ones I love and I don't mind if they aren't "popular" per se. (:

LOL -- The obvious answer is Teldryn, right? But I'm gonna talk about

💫Neloth 💫

instead.

I think he's popular to dunk on because he's been a very big pain in the ass in the games for centuries to everyone who will listen to him. I mean, since the events of Morrowind at minimum. (:

Why do I like him? Because of how he's been written by myself and a few friends -- namely @thana-topsy, @paraparadigm (TOOTHPICK!), and @thequeenofthewinter.

I love to see how other people take this character and run with what we're given in text ESPECIALLY considering how ridiculous he is to deal with and his general attitude toward other living things.

For myself, where I write him as a long term friend of Nerevarine!Teldryn Sero, I love to use his character as an opportunity to talk about the struggle of redemption. How does one redeem themselves from a lifetime of difficult choices made to fit into a specific perception? Does this perception eventually end up becoming a core facet of who you are as a person? If that is the case, can you change? Are the consequences of your choices enough to make you irredeemable? Further, can you forgive yourself if change does not come easily or if you return to old behaviors much too easily?

He's a complicated one, I think, especially by the events of Skyrim. He's not exactly estranged from the rest of House Telvanni, but the connection is tenuous and fraught as the House is still, apparently, recovering from the Red Year. In Morrowind it was very much the opposite. There's gotta be a kind of grief to this shift under the uncaring, hyperfocused exterior.

He's annoying, yes, but very interesting to me, and so he's in my fic. And he's actually a huge part of the latter half of the book.

11. Recommend a fic with an unusual/original headcanon or characterisation that you loved.

OH I'm SHOUTING OUT @changelingsandothernonsense's Danger!JOSH (aka Nerevarine Teldryn Sero)'s Nerevar-as-a-parasite situation in Serious Mistakes.

This angry spirit, more or less, lives in the ring and speaks into Teldryn's BRAIN and sometimes drives the entire car, so to speak and I've never ever read anything like it, holy shit. I'm a beta reader for this particular project and I literally cannot yell about it enough.

It's a novelization of the Teldryn Serious mod which was already intriguing, but AH. MY GOODNESS the Nerevar situation.

Let me show you. From chapter 4:

Aren’t you meant to be looking for something? “Oh, you’re still here?” Teldryn rasped, as if saying it out aloud mattered here. You should be thanking me. Teldryn grunted in annoyance, he had a point, he hated it when he was right. His mouth was dry. He wanted to stay where he was. Sleep. You can’t stay here! Get up! Teldryn groaned. Right again – the tide was coming in, if he didn’t find what he was looking for now, then it would be gone by morning. He needed his keys. Was there an Argonian on the beach? He couldn’t remember. His head hurt. He pinched the bridge of his nose, it did little to relieve the pressure. He always overdid it on the magicka, and now he was nauseous.

It's fucking cool, isn't it? (:

19. Give kudos to someone who leaves great comments.

OH GLADLY. Here's where I shout out @polypolymorph!!!

Okay so I could pick out a bunch of comments -- or novel-length responses. Each comment turns into an opportunity for a conversation and I'm always beside myself to hear back from her.

But right now, I'm still grinning ear to ear over, you guessed it. Eyestalks. Eye. Stalks.

(on this project here.)