#sometimes i mourn the wasted potential

[trlvsn]

di.d you know klavier and trucy parallels (<- me showing sings of mental illness(broken english on purpose)(theyre more similar then it might seem at first(i want to talk about this)))

....... wait hold on. tell me more. or make your own post about it bc this might deserve it's own post about it

[fanaticsnail]

Thinking about a reader who's too polite for their own good. They aren't a total pushover, of course, but still don't speak up a lot of the times even when they probably should.

It's been a problem their whole life, but it really comes to a head when they join the strawhats. There's the usual problems; Luffy being obnoxiously loud, Chopper and Usop and their hyjinks. But none of these things compare tho their problems with Sanji.

The chef has one rule: no wasting food. It's how he was raised, and his experiences have lead to him understanding the importance of a meal. The 'no food waste' rule is known ship wide.

So when something is made that the reader doesn't like, they have no choice but to choke it back with a smile.

Sanji thinks he's done something wrong; underseasoned the food, maybe? This leads to a vicious cycle of him trying to perfect the food (because damn if he isn't going to get this right for his pretty crewmate) and the reader choking it back reluctantly (because damn if they're going to break Sanji's one rule and potentially ruin their chances).

All of this comes to one glorious, horrendous conclusion where one of Sanji's attempts uses an ingredient that the reader is allergic to and well....let's just say the aftermath was something to behold.

-♡♡

POOR BABYYYYYYYY. I love it. Let's torture him a bit.

Food Preferences

Masterlist Here

Little drabble.

Synopsis: Sanji caters to suit your personal food preferences, and it hurts him to learn of how truly picky you were with your food. He lives to serve, but his background as a great cook leaves him with a bruised ego to dull down his extravagant meals.

Themes: Sanji x gn!reader, underlying feelings, Sanji is a service king, reader is a picky eater.

Warning: potential eating disorder mentioned. Sanji serves large portions and it hurts to finish your plate.

Notes: Oh my gosh, Sanji would feel so guilty about it too. He'd cry before giving Luffy your portion, but would absolutely cater to suit your needs.

His portion control is due to the fact that he's feeding Luffy constantly, and expecting everyone to get a taste of everything he makes before Luffy takes it all for himself. It's the same with Zoro's drinking habit. He wants everyone to have a sample of something nice, and is used to having the collective gratitude and praise from everyone as soon as they eat their food.

Sometimes all you want is simplicity. No extravagant flavours. No richness in your desserts, no complex flavours in your meals. A military ration wafer block or two with a hot cup of boiled water is sometimes enough, you're not for all the complexity. Tea and a biscuit. Black coffee and a shortbread cookie. Simple flavours.

When Sanji nearly killed you with your allergy in a bid to win you over, you finally softly explain to him your preferences, and he listens. He may not understand it, but he listens. Simple, clean, basic, boring.

Immediately purchasing new crockery and knives specifically catering to your allergy preferences, he ordered in ingredients specifically for you that would never even glance at the same cabinet the allergins would be homed in. He's not about to send someone into anaphylaxis because he wanted to please someone, especially someone he served with on his crew.

He can't help but almost mourn when he makes your food now. He lives to serve, and that service includes providing foods that suit your preferences. Preferences that hurt his ego as a chef, but suited his purpose as someone who lives to serve.

Each time he brings you a dish now, he attempts to hide his sorrow at such a dish. He can't stand it, it kills him inside. It's worse than Chef Zeff wanting to drown everything in oregano. It's bland, it's boring, it's little...

...and it makes you smile.

And boy, oh boy, is he a sucker for that smile.

The way his heart flutters, his smile brightens, his eyes twinkle all in the hopes that you'd bless him with that soft smile he'd come to cherish. He didn't know when, but his heart sang to you. Maybe he could coax you in to expanding your preferences through something small, something new mixed in with the familiar. If he was willing to cut back for you, perhaps you could find it in your heart to expand for him.

If not, he'd love you for who you are anyway.

Tag list: @mfreedomstuff @daydreamer-in-training @since-im-already-here @gingernut1314 @writingmysanity @sordidmusings @i-am-vita @indydonuts @feral-artistry @the-light-of-star @empirenowmp3 @racfoam @sunflowersatori @carrotsunshine @skullfacedlady

[intrepidacious]

❤️ a good time!

tat!bucky’s favorite (or least favorite) thing about twelve

… why not both?

cause and effect

chapter summary: How Bucky fell in love with Twelve: Slowly, and then all at once.

pairing: bucky barnes x time witch!reader

word count: 1.8k

warnings: light angst and negative self talk (this is bucky y'all); some light pining 🤭please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.

a/n: i've literally had this one in my drafts for about two years and i hadn't actually planned on posting it for a while yet but i did promise distractions. and i missed him. i always do.

this is part of the time after time universe but can be read as a teaser and/or a standalone 💚

Bucky’s relationship with time has been fractured ever since a cold day in January that stole away the life he was headed towards and turned him into the monster underneath a child’s bed.

It’s hard to feel good about the concept of time travel once a lot of your own time has been taken away from you. Even now, there’s only so many things in his life he has control over; like the fact that he’s actively choosing to go back to therapy now, or that he’s able to keep a pet for the first time since he was thirteen years old. Stupid little things, like what kind of food he wants for lunch or whether he should take the stairs or the elevator.

Every single one of these things he’s fought for tooth and nail, clawing his way out of the past and carving out his own space in reality again, struggling, trying, hanging on like he wasn’t able to all those decades ago.

He’s probably still failing.

Some days, clinging to the present is tense and brings him nothing but grief. Sometimes, it feels like he’s going to have to mourn the past forever, whatever might have been; and maybe that’s his sentence.

He wouldn’t have wished it on anyone. He deserves worse.

And then there’s you.

Flickering in and out of time, constantly moving, changing in the time it takes him to blink.

It’s infuriating to him, the way you get to use your powers. The way you don’t need to think about consequences, because they don’t have to be permanent, don’t have to be something you need to live with for the rest of your life. To you, time has always been something that can be changed with a single snap of your fingers. Whatever you do can just as easily be undone.

Once you decide you’ve seen enough, you can just take the scene from the top.

And you’re so stubborn.

You’ve already seen how this goes on if you let it, and so you’re always right, end of story. There’s an ease to your steps because of it, a nonchalance in every movement, and it makes Bucky’s blood boil to see it so plainly.

With all the good that you could do, you choose to do nothing instead; to stay out of the picture entirely and burn through your powers just because you can, wasting them all on things that don’t mean anything.

How many lives could you potentially save?

Instead, you consume disturbing amounts of caffeine and then continue to provide running commentary to the world around you based on things that, to him, never happen at all. "Do this", "don’t do that", "take the other one", or, his absolute favorite, "don’t make me fix that".

Why not? he wants to ask, say, demand. Why not fix all of it?

It takes a while for him to realize that all of your fire means you’re burning from both ends. In fact, it takes Becca.

"You should bring her by sometime," she tells him on a rainy afternoon. "While I’m still alive and kicking."

His little sister just turned ninety-eight. Her kitchen sideboard is filled with black-and-white pictures reminding him of all the things in her life that he missed, arranged in perfect little wooden frames.

"And why would I do that?" Bucky asks, scowling at his cards.

"Because you keep mentioning her," Rebecca says dryly and whisks the cards onto her pile with quick fingers.

"You gotta be kidding me," he groans, noting down her points. "And I don’t."

"Do, too. I don’t remember you being this terrible at this game."

"Because I haven’t caught you when you’re cheating."

"Exactly. It’s embarrassing." She wins the next trick, too. "How’s Tuesday?"

"Am I clairvoyant now?"

"I was thinking lunch."

"No." Finally, he gets a couple of points down. When he glances up at his sister again, she’s looking at him expectantly and he sighs. "What?"

"You can’t fault me for being curious," she says. She has just as many opinions as she did when she was sixteen. Her eyes are still the same, too, the same shade of blue as his and the same glimmer of archness as their mother.

"Don’t you think it’s weird?" Bucky says, finally giving in. "The whole … time thing?"

"I think it’s very weird, but so’s you returning from the dead and kvetching about it." Her eyes narrow when he starts to protest. His mouth closes again. "Besides," she continues, shuffling her hand around, "it doesn’t sound all that fun."

"To have the power to never make mistakes?"

"To have to live through every mistake twice without anyone knowing."

Something about her words strikes him like a match, and so he tilts his head and squints at her and thinks that maybe, just maybe, he’s got it wrong.

That you carry not only your past, but all the futures you’ve seen that never came to be; all the what ifs having turned into answers.

And he thinks, how nice. And then he thinks, how horrifying.

It’s a thought that follows him over the next couple of weeks, and it starts reframing your interactions for him, in a way.

"Will you stop staring at me," you say without looking up from your book.

Honestly, he can’t. He’s still trying to pick up on it, the split second between before and after, that little change of your posture, your hair, your face, that tells him more time has passed for you than it has for him.

It’s more of a feeling than anything else, something right at the back of his mind telling him that something is different if he concentrates on it enough, but he’s never sure what it is. And he doesn’t like that; not one bit.

So Bucky crosses his arms and leans back. "Why?"

A flash of irritation makes your nose twitch, even though you still refuse to meet his eye.

"It’s rude, for one."

"Noted." He waits for the two that never comes. "Anything else?"

And there it is. A blink-and-you-miss-it kind of moment, like the air shifting around you ever so slightly, a certain knowing glint in your eyes when you roll them and get up.

"Annoying!"

He can’t help it. He wonders what your original answer was.

***

Bucky’s relationship with time changes slowly, the deepest cuts carefully mending themselves until looking back doesn’t feel like getting his bones ripped apart anymore, until he looks at you on a cold day in January and realizes he’s fucked.

At first, he hopes that it might be a fluke. A trick of the light, maybe, or seasonal allergies. That’s the reason why his eyes are drawn to your face as soon as he enters a room; the closest source of discomfort always the thing he seeks out first. That’s the reason why his chest constricts like that.

But the truth is, he knows this feeling has been building slowly; he’s just been unwilling to admit it.

Something soft and delicate has started to nestle in that gaping hole inside his chest, unbothered by the walls he’s so carefully built up.

He’d never planned on you.

Fuck, if he’d known in the beginning, he might’ve …

No, he thinks. He wouldn’t have changed anything.

Because you’re too good for him, anyway, and he knows it. Smart and strong and funny and gorgeous and capable of things he’s not sure he’ll ever fully comprehend; and it’s worse than that, because he knows you now.

You’re grouchy in the mornings and you make terrible jokes when you’re nervous and you have a strange feud with his cat and your smile makes him want to put his fist through the wall because what is he supposed to do with any of this?

He’s not made for this dance anymore. That part was taken from him so long ago, and he’s delusional to think that anything or anyone could return it to him after all the bridges he’d been made to cross and burn. Why would someone like him deserve to be given tenderness anymore in this life? Why would anyone want to try?

But that foolish thing blooming inside him feels a lot like hope, despite of what he keeps telling himself.

There’s just something about you that keeps pulling him in, and honestly, he’s tired of fighting it. Then again, the thought of you feeling the same is nothing short of ridiculous.

He’s not the same guy as he used to be. Hell, sometimes he’ll look at old photographs and barely recognize himself.

He remembers life before, and maybe that’s what makes this so hard. He remembers talking to pretty girls, their bright smiles, their soft skin underneath his hands. Good times were easy to come by, even though life was hard in a different way, then. But he was good at it; acting on his feelings alone used to be simple, fun, second-nature almost.

It’s different now.

It used to be different only once before, and look where that’s gotten him.

No, he can’t say anything. Not ever; or not yet, at any rate.

Sometimes, though, Bucky lies awake at night and listens to the rain knocking against his window, and he remembers how much easier falling asleep used to be when he had someone next to him and his mattress didn’t swallow him alive.

He’ll remember the dark circles under your eyes and wish it could be as easy as asking, too. He wonders if there’s a universe you remember where he tries, but he doubts it.

These days, he knows his mind again. And it’s not a burden he wants to share.

You have enough to carry on your own.

Maybe, he thinks as he stares up at the ceiling at three in the morning, maybe there’s still a certain comfort in your powers, in knowing all the possibilities, but it also means constantly losing something that’s real; always mourning the life that isn’t.

He can relate to that.

And maybe that means you can relate to him, too, at least a little bit.

It’s odd, how comforting that last little thought is to him.

When he does eventually fall asleep, you make your way into his dreams, too, sometimes. Those times are the worst.

You’re you, and he’s him, and there’s a sort of "us" in the both of you that doesn’t exist in real life. So when you let him lace his fingers with yours and press your lips to his forehead and it feels easy, that’s usually the point when he wakes up, heart tumbling over itself, right hand tracing the ghost of your touch, always too much, never enough.

He knows it’s not real.

He knows it’s just an indulgence; selfish, really.

The problem is that whatever small hope has decided to settle in his very core is impossible to kill, no matter how much he pushes it down; and he’s not sure he wants to lose it again.

Secretly, silently, serendipitously, you make him have faith in the future again.

But it’s not time for it yet.

if you want to read more about these two (plus a lot of time related shenanigans), read the main series here. or check out the rest of my bucky fics, that's also an option 💚 i don't do tag lists but you can follow @intrepidacious-fics for update notifications

[edenfenixblogs]

Preface: Death is always a personal tragedy.

Even evil people who die are tragedies because they’ve wasted their lives toiling in hatred rather than loving others.

Which is why I will never celebrate a death. Even if someone is terrible. However, I will not make myself mourn for such people either. Please nobody comment here with either “oh? Are you sympathetic to a dictator?!” Or “I bet you’re sooooo pleased he’s dead.” Please do not read intent into my words that is not there.

I will only say as I have said of other men who have cause great harm to many: I mourn the loss of life and the waste of potential to do good in this world. But I do not mourn the man, nor do I rejoice at any death.

Post:

Is it confirmed that the president of Iran is dead? If he is dead, what does that mean internationally? Will his death create a power vacuum? And, if it does, is it likely to be filled by whichever extremist is most aggressive and violent? Or do experts think this will sufficiently destabilize the regime enough for the populace to take control?

Terrorist cells are known for being resilient and being able to rapidly reconstitute from within. But The Islamic Republic of Iran has been funding and supporting Hamas and trying to undermine the PLO for quite sometime. I think people are prone to think that the destabilization could be good for limiting Hamas’ attacks and funding.

But I’m really worried that the people who rise to power after this will instead make their names by being even more ruthless and channeling rage to the levant. I mean, TIR is really closely allied with ISIL, which, for those unaware, stands for rhetoric Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant.

I’m really concerned for what this means for the safety of everyone in the Levant. Anyone have insight into this?

[exo-raskreia]

hi as a jjk fan, do you have any issues with the writing from gege? if so, what do you think are wasted potential in terms of characters, bonds. i think that there is lack of emotional impact or expansion fo characters sometimes. for instance animes like mha have alot of meaningful character arcs and backstories. It's a bit hard to express how I feel becuase jjk is an amazing story but i am just a bit disappointed of the wasted potential with female characters and like shoko and utahime. and the world building. yes i am fellow gojohime shipper ;).

(Oncoming long RANT 😅)

If you ride on Gege's coattails, this may not be for you.

I actually do have issues with Gege's writing, so I agree with you. JJK has an interesting premise with hidden lore & I would recommend it to anyone wanting to get into, or already into, anime/manga, but it could be so much better if Gege just cared enough (which I sometimes feel like he doesn't? It just feels like he wants to hurry up & finish it so he can start on his idol manga... 💀). He skips so much, it honestly feels like he's going off a checklist, especially in the latest arc.

Compared to other battle shounens, namely Naruto, Fairy Tail, MHA, & even Gintama, JJK is severely lacking in several areas. It's unfortunate because the premise & characters are full of potential.

I will go over some of the issues. A lot of these were obvious from the start but they've only gotten worse over time.

• The fast pacing (speed running at this point). It's battle after battle, no downtime, big arc right after big arc, etc. Us readers & the characters themselves barely have time to process things before he moves on to the next thing. He skips so many things, so much happens off-screen/off-panel (can't forget how he skipped Yaga's fight with Gakuganji that lead to his death, skipped Gojo's entire month after his unsealing then "kills" him off-panel a few chapters later, I could go on...)

• The lack of character emotions, development, backstories, etc. We barely know anything about the characters, like their hobbies & interests? (This is why I have a hard time making up headcanons & potentially writing a fic for our ship... How can I keep them in character when I barely know stuff about them? 😮‍💨). We barely see any of them training (training arcs/chapters are typical for battle shounens); the Tokyo students preparing for the Goodwill Event would have been a fitting time to showcase this, for example. There's little to no mourning shown for character deaths (like Yaga? Nanami? Mai? Mechamaru?).

Yuta has such a cool CT & we didn't get to see how he discovered it & all. Like, come on 😔. Also, it would've been nice to see the Goodwill Event from his first year when he beat the Kyoto students, especially Todo... (Gege simply tells us about it. Like he tends to do for a lot of things 🙄).

Gege could've done more build-up to Gojo's sealing in Shibuya by showing his upbringing & development from his arrogant teen self (tho already having shown hints of caring for others & not liking the higher-ups) to the sensei who loves his students & strives for a better Jujutsu society. His past arc should've been longer imo. Needed more slice of life & character interactions, bonding. Heck, Toji should've gotten his whole backstory there too before he died. More build-up to Gojo's "death" too, as Gege skipped that whole month after his unsealing 😒...

• While on the subject, the lack of character interactions, bonding. We haven't seen most characters interact with each other despite being in the same circles, vicinity. Tokyo & Kyoto students, GjHm with them, Gojo & his colleagues (esp more Uta), the Zenin clan (like, wish we could've seen how GjHm interacted with Naoya. Imagine the drama 😫), Gojo & his elusive clan, I could go on... Would've loved to see Gojo interact with Kashimo, Higuruma, Choso... 😮‍💨

As such, several have died & we never saw them interact with certain others nor even know much about them 😑... The emotional impact of character deaths & bonding would be higher if only Gege cared enough to flesh out his characters more... (At least the Phantom Parade mobile game is giving us some much-needed slice of life content. Wish Mappa would give us some OVA's like that too...)

• Lack of world building. Once again, so much we don't know, such as the clans, especially Gojo's. Apparently, they're still alive, yet we haven't seen them?

Are they not fighters, then? Nothing from them on their clan head's sealing/unsealing/"death". The Zenin Clan debuted & got killed off soon after. Other clans irrelevant. Jujutsu sorcery primarily exists in Japan so other than Miguel, goodbye to the potential of any foreign sorcerers making their appearance...

• Female cast. It's crazy how they were once praised for their potential but now... Now, all they've got is just your typical battle shounen treatment 😒. While Gege has shown he cares little for all his characters (lol), it does seem like the female characters have suffered a bit more from his writing. They've either died (like Mai off-screen? Yuki, the only female Special Grade, had one fight & died?), become powerless (Miwa, thru an off-screen Binding Vow revealed many chapters later? Seriously?), lack screentime (the Kyoto girls? Shoko, the only one who can use RCT on others & closest friend to Gojo?!), or simply haven't done a whole lot, especially compared to the male characters. For some or most, it's a mixture of all these 💀 (like Tsumiki).

Nobara is the main girl & yet her role ended about halfway thru the series. Can't believe Gege did that to her, despite her potential & competence to be the FL of a battle shounen (poor Yuuji still thinks of her. And we don't even know what Gojo thought about her demise? 😮‍💨). Maki seems to have it better, yet some could argue she's just Toji 2.0/female Toji. Unfortunately, I thought about Toji when she was fighting Sukuna; I was like, "If Sukuna's this impressed by her, imagine Toji with his higher experience?" I doubt that's what Gege would want us to think when Maki's shining (or does he? 🤨😒).

• Don't even get me started on Utahime. She's the main teacher of Kyoto, loved by all her students according to Gege, yet we don't get to see it? She's barely relevant? Imagine what she felt as her students kept on dying or becoming unable to fight. Thru her character, such as during her investigation of Kyoto for the traitor, we could've gotten some great insight into how things are over there? We don't even know what the Kyoto school looks like 💀.

Her scar has several implications & yet we don't know how she got it? How has she dealt with being a scarred woman in Jujutsu society, especially considering Momo's words about such a thing during the Goodwill Event? Utahime could be a great role model to the girls, especially Maki now, & yet... 😮‍💨 (I'm telling you, she should've been the main adult female of the series, just like Gojo's the main adult male)

She's one of Gojo's friends, has known him for 10+ years, & is one of his few most trusted allies, yet we haven't seen how they got to this point? Their comedic interactions make us wonder how they built that deep trust. I NEED to know what happened between them during the timeskip!!! 😫

Her CT buffs herself & others. Why has she not been a part of any on-screen fight prior to the Shinjuku Showdown? There were a couple instances where we almost saw her in action & yet... Why did Gege gatekeep her CT for so long? To showcase her CT for the first time for Gojo & Gojo ONLY. He's insane. They can't beat the package deal allegations. So, does this have any meaning? Can we hope for more-

• I sometimes wonder if JJK would be better as a seinen like I once heard he intended for it to be... There are definitely elements of that... How much darker could the story get, since sometimes Gege pushes the boundaries of Shounen Jump (I know he wants to, lol)... How much more fleshed out could it be if he was writing it the way he wanted to originally (supposedly he never intended for a school setting but was forced by his previous editor?)... Maybe we could even get a Tokyo Ghoul:re style chapter with GjHm during the timeskip if y'all know what I mean-

So, to sum up: JJK is interesting & I would recommend it, but there's a whole lot of wasted character potential, terrible pacing, & lack of interactions, development, & world building. There's so much we don't know & Gege wants to end it already? He's sitting on a gold mine & yet... 😑😒

No idea how things will end but I can at least hope for an open ending that leaves us with some hopeful possibilities... Uh, right?

Also... GOJO WILL RISE ✊️

[emilymk20]

TW: $u!c!d3 $h 4n4

…

…

…

This is my note that I’ve had written out for a while 🙃 Fair warning, it is really long. I don’t know, maybe it could help somebody, whether it helps them keep going or just helps them relate. Much love 🫶🏻🖤

This is so cliche, but I feel obligated to leave some kind of explanation. I am absolutely positive there has always been something wrong with me. Normal people don’t want to die at eleven years old. One thing I was always good at was covering it up; I almost wish my struggle was more visible, but I know that people always just want to help and truthfully help is the last thing I want. More reason why there’s probably something wrong because who thinks like that? The one thing that I am losing is empathy. It was always empathy that made me “better.” I didn’t want to make anyone waste their time worrying and I didn’t want to be seen for what I am so I started eating more, I stopped cutting myself, I didn’t take the pills, I didn’t cry, I didn’t let myself feel anything. In a way that made me hold on; the idea that I didn’t want anyone to have to find my body, I didn’t want anybody to mourn me, I didn’t want anyone to think that they could have helped me, and I definitely didn’t want anyone to think that the decision I made was their fault. I don’t expect anyone to understand it, but nothing happened to make me feel this way. Some awful things have happened in the midst of it, but there’s no root cause or trigger; I apply blame to nothing and nobody except myself and the operations of my own brain.

I’m tired. It’s so difficult to explain, but I think I’ve felt so deeply for so long, I have nothing left to feel. I feel like a shell of a person. I’ve noticed a recent trend in the past three years that I’ve never experienced before in the impulsively of my emotional rollercoaster. I’ll spend days, weeks, sometimes months feeling so proud of myself and hopeful, motivated more than ever before to better myself, happy where I am, and then in a matter of minutes it all slips away from me. I push everyone away and I can’t help but stop trying. I won’t eat or I’ll eat until I’m sick from it, I’ll cut myself because that’s the only thing that can make me feel, I won’t sleep at all or I’ll sleep all day, I won’t clean, I won’t shower, I won’t even get up to use the restroom. It’s as if I go completely brain dead, but my thoughts still won’t stop racing. Then, once I can come to terms with it all and maybe find a solution, the mania hits again and it all doesn’t matter anymore because I feel like I’m on top of the world. I don’t eat because it feels good to be hungry or I’ll eat a lot because “I deserve it,” I don’t sleep because that seems like so much valuable time going to waste, or I’ll sleep a lot because it’s a form of self care and if my body is that tired I should let it, and I’ll cut myself still because it’s empowering and I find it almost pretty. Nothing tangible ever changes, just the unbearable fluctuation of my head. Maybe that’s why it’s so easy for me to hide it, because to everyone on the outside, that is my normal.

I constantly feel like I’m watching myself glued to a tightrope. I can pull myself down to my lowest, feeling all that tension, and then suddenly skyrocket to my full potential. Well, I have to fall back down at some point, and I always do. The only thing is that I’m stuck. I’m stuck in my head in that cycle and the only way out is to fall off. Sure, there’s ways to get make it bearable, I mean there has to be some diagnosis for all this to explain it, but would I really want to spend my life maintaining symptoms? Would I really want to spend my whole life fighting? No. I don’t even want to spend the present fighting. I know from the outsider’s perspective I just seem lazy, and trust me, I feel that way too.

I can’t even begin to describe how exhausting it is. What I think about often is how humans are awake during the day, but you can always take a break when nighttime comes to sleep. I’m hyper aware of everything that takes my energy that I don’t have control over. My brain never stops thinking, my blood never stops pumping, my body never stops breathing…I know these are things that regular people don’t think about, but with every breath I take it feels like a loss. I just want nothing more than real rest and peace of mind. I don’t understand why things bother me when everyone else wouldn’t even have these thoughts pass their mind. Why am I so introspective and aware? Ignorance truly is bliss.

It seems really crazy, maybe because I am crazy, but the higher points of my life are more painful than the lows have been. There’s something so comforting about losing my drive, letting myself slow down, watching myself rot away and fall further from reality; it’s almost my ideal, but not quite. I just want true rest. I really wish I had the option to completely start over. I romanticize my childhood so much; bittersweet nostalgia is my biggest downfall. I was so clueless then; so full of joy. I wish that I could put my finger on what happened and when it all went wrong. I don’t know why I long for that life so much now; I love being independent and having the freedom to make my own decisions as an adult, but maybe it’s the immanence of responsibility always pushing me down. I miss the days before it started looming over me. I don’t feel as though I was ready to be on my own, I don’t think I ever learned how to handle that freedom because all I’ve done is abuse it. There are irreparable decisions that I’ve made for the specific purpose of digging myself deeper in a hole because I feel like that’s what I deserve. You can say that’s not true all you want, but it’s a little too late to still be invalidating my feelings so allow me.

My self hatred is so deep rooted, I can feel it in every nerve of my body. I’m embarrassed by myself. Truly, if I was somebody else, I wouldn’t even speak to me. I am undesirable in every aspect; I harbor so much jealousy, I’m a deadbeat, it’s probably been a decade since I’ve made a “good decision,” I’m annoying, I talk way too much, I have a huge ego (which is interesting because obviously I don’t like myself all that much), I have too much baggage, I’m ugly, I’m insecure, I have no room to consider anyone else in life, and I don’t care. To my core, I wish I could be anyone but me. I don’t know how to describe the gravity of me wishing I was dead. It doesn’t even seem like that big of a deal to me anymore because in all honesty I feel like I’ve been slowly slipping away anyways. Death is not a stranger to me; I feel like I’ve been hanging out on the front porch of the end for far too long, and I just can’t wait to step through that door. When I was little, it was always, “I want to die, but I guess I can wait until after _______…” There was still some hope back then. Now it seems that my hope has run out for me and I just don’t care anymore. I am sorry, but I have exhausted every option for me, and I believe that it’s time for me to regain control at least for a final moment.

[queeranarchism]

I have been pretty concerned about pride this year in the US because of all the anti trans legislation going on that also is anti drag (in them seeing both as the same). especially the pride events taking place in states who are managing to be the absolute worst. I have only saw one post talking about it (also in talking about, with all this, how pride is too corporate and capitalized).

Are there more posts discussing it or anything? (sorry if you have already reblogged such, I miss things sometimes). What is going on? I don’t live in a state where this is happening, though of course I’m still worried for my trans siblings here. still worried about general hostiles though. still. I am not going to respond to that by being overall quiet

Honestly, I don't know. I haven't seen much of that conversation yet either. But I think you're on to something and you're thinking about it at the right time. Now, while there's still some time to prepare, would be an excellent time for queer people in the US to get together and talk about what is to be done.

If it isn't safe for everyone to be part of Pride in your state this year: what are your options? Are you going to throw those people under the bus or are you going to send a clear message that they matter and that their inclusion isnt optional? What does that look like? Cancel the celebration and hold a mourning event or vigil instead? Get masked and take to the streets together regardless? Riot? I honesty don't know, but I know now is the time to start thinking about that question and preparing for it.

And if you're in a state where these draconian laws are not (yet) in place: what can you do to welcome those who need to escape for one day from all that? Are you ready to host them in your city? Can yu provide them with rides and city guides and places to sleep? Are you going to consider their need for privacy during Pride and what you can you do to protect them from being outed back at home?

And in both cases: are you ready to defend your community from the violence of the state and from right wing attacks? What are you doing to be ready for that potential confrontation? I know it isn't fun to ask whether the medics at your next Pride are trained to treat bullet wounds and whether the safety team knows how to respond to an active shooter and how to respond a police kettle, but now might be the time to consider those questions. Like, I hope none of you will need that preparation, but it seems like it's worth considering.

And like, on the small scale: I hope people mark their calendar to check in with the trans people, genderdiverse folx and drag royalty in their life around pride season. Have a meal together. Tell each other what you appreciate about who they are. Let people in your life know that you are willing to support them when things get rough. Take care of your community and don't waste your time infighting over labels, definitions or different ways of existing in the world. All we have in the world is other people.

[lloydfrontera]

Im so curious

What about BK Moon gives you so much beef with him like the misogyny I understand but you talk about him like there's more

it's all the untapped potential. that's all it is. bk moon can be such a good writer at times and there's some genuinely interesting and fascinating ideas in his work, but man do they get buried under some of the most bizarre and tedious plots he can come up with.

he comes up with some amazing dynamics, concepts and characters and then does shit with them. he writes incredibly passionate and heart-wrenching relationships between his male protagonists and then shoves them into the most boring and/or underdeveloped straight romances possible. he describes utterly horrifying scenarios (affectionate) with such vivid detail you can almost see them play out perfectly in your head and then goes on and on about very boring topics with too much detail that you can skip without losing anything for it.

his novels could be so good... if only they were good. there's something there but you have to grab a shovel and dig them up by yourself because he's not gonna help you do it.

he's a good writer! but he could so much better. and that's what makes it so infuriating! because i see the potential, i see the seeds being planted, i see what could've been... and i can't do anything about it but make silly little posts about it! i wanna be his editor and beta-reader soooo bad.

but to be clear i don't have,, real beef with the man. like. i don't know him. i just read what he writes and sometimes stalk his fb but that's it. my feelings about him are completely based on what his writing and his novels tell me and nothing more. and i do like his writing! i genuinely do enjoy his style and the way he writes! some times more than others but nonetheless!

and also sometimes i just like being dramatic. sometimes i'm mildly annoyed by one of his writing decision and i say i'll stab a man. doesn't mean i actually hate his guts or anything aksjhdka

i will even admit that maybe if his novels were better i wouldn't be so into them as i am. take orv for example. i love it, i definitely binge-read it, cried my heart out and it remains one of my favorite webnovels of all time. but i didn't dedicate two years of my life to talk about it, y'know? it's so good i don't really have anything to add to the conversation. unlike with tged and cpsm where i have entirely too much to say about them.

i guess i just... mourn the wasted potential of his writing. and like with a lot of other authors i can't help but be bitter about the hetero/amatonormativity that seeps into it. if he were just a little bit more open to write his protagonists as anything else than straight or at least stopped adding romance for romance sake, his novels would stand out from many others even with his rather run-of-the-mill plots.

also i'm salty that he keeps catering to whiny dudebros with such fragile egos they can't handle an emotional scene without calling it cringe. when he could be catering to me instead <3 i, unlike them, do appreciate how he writes incredibly deep and passionate friendships between men willing to risk the whole world for one another <33

tldr: he gives me brain worms. and i'm mad about it. he needs a better editor and it should be me.

[frostbounddevotion]

My personal written Eulogy to Gojo and my VERY BRIEF take on the final chapter: and what I hope to share with Gojo fans.

Im grieving, and I'm upset. Theories about Gojo and the analogies, etc, make me almost mad. A possible reality i DO NOT want to think about. The more I read, the more im like

*Gege's writing needs work. Maybe a novel series on his own own time? Maybe he can "fix" it when his health is better and the pressure doesn't break him down?*

This is all so depressing. The disappointment is insurmountable. Gojo was used and abused in canon, some would even argue irl by Gege to promote the series. The fact that Gojo wasn't recognized or formally acknowledged is hard for the fans, really hard (and Gojo isn't my #1 bias/fav so please don't say it only affects Gojo stans), and it gives an air of vunerable feelings and unprocessed emotions. What makes me more upset is the very last panel. It seems like the entire journey was a waste.

Many will defend the ending, and many more will ciriticise it, but I can still acknowledge and respect why it ended the way it did while still being upset. Neither experience lives in a vacuum.

In my own little way, I'm going to mourn and commemorate Gojo's passing. Stories, fictional or not, still provide very real and (parasocial) experiences. So here we go:

Gojo was a flawed character. Very much like people in real life. We tend to romanticize the dead, overlooking our flaws. When I remember a loved one who's passed, I start with their flaws.

Gojo was an annoying, inconsiderate character who sometimes was cold and callous to other's experiences/feelings. He's a big fat inconvenience at times and generally makes others feel unimportant or small. Much hubris lies within him.

However, he had lead a very hard and selfless life from beggining to the end. From his first heartbeat to his last breath. And that should be considered when addressing his behavior. He was seen for what he can do, not for what he loved and enjoyed. His identity outside the 6 eyes and infinity was secondary. His worth in the jujutsu world came not from the relationships he could have formed, but the strength in his abilities. This experience isn't unique in the jujutsu world, as many other sorcerers walked away and tried to start their own life. But when this world and role becomes your identity and reason for your existence, it becomes even harder to escape.

I think many of us can relate to that. The burdens of our own thoughts and opinions of others can gravely impact our identity. Our beliefs, values, and sense of self worth affects the way we interact with the world around us.

Despite being used, propped up for others benefit, and his body being used as a means for an end WITHOUT even a thank you, recognition, or appreciation for the person behind it is foul. From fighting the school to protect his students,To making his life purpose for children to ENJOY their youth (and breaking cycles), to 14-21 hours of sleep a week being his life without complaint, just to be blamed of all that is wrong in jujutsu's way of life but still getting every job done, and his only semblance of an understanding relationshionship being ripped away by the world that gives you meaning.... geeze.... and this man still chooses to smile. To live everyday with that much goofy adhd energy without taking his resentment out of someone or something (*unlikegetocough*) takes STRENGTH and RESILIENCE. It takes GRACE. It takes SELFESS SACRIFICE.

These feelings are something I struggle with everyday. Gojo became a singlr parental figure to a 6 yr old boy as a teen. He took it in stride. My little boy is the same age now. My little one (FJO) is.... on the spectrum and has a cocktail disorders that make living in this world hard. He's angry. He is defiant. He is full of love and potential. Being a parent to FJO is isolating, immensely difficult, rarely rewarding, and time consuming especially in a world who doesn't respect or bother to understand him. And I have schools afraid of me because I held them accountable for not doing their job.

Parenting is complicated. You end up losing your identity, freedom, and sense of self when you do it alone with no resources. And that's for healthy parents with neurotyical children. Add the fact that the parent I were raised for being "amazing, smart, and worthwhile as long as you meet these standards that we set in place to satisfy us and thats all you're good for" to then you feel like you were robbed of your life. That you were emotionally abused by those who were supposed to love and care for you and your youth robbed for the benefit of your guardians. Only for your life to change and be robbed of your sense of self once again. My body (i am born female) is a vessel for others, my career is for the approval of others, my time and energy with about 4 hrs of asleep if given to other's, my money and savings is spent on others. I don't want my child or others to feel the way I felt when i was little, but it's hard when you remain unhealed. I was chronically bitter.

Im not saying gojo and I the same. But as someone with no blood family and role models, what i take away from Gojo is to that it's OK to have flaws, confidence, and sacrifice. Because to someone else, I am or may be their everything. In their little world, I am Gojo to them. The one who's doing it all. And for their sake, I should be smiling. I should never let FJO see how much I'm suffering (no worries I'm in therapy. I'm getting the help I need). I want to be better for him. I want to be the best version of myself I can be. It's ok that this part of my life is thankless. It's not about reward or recognition or what others placed on me. Sometimes it's just THIS WAY, and if I am to do this, I should do it well.

I will honor Gojo in the way I parent. In the way I carry myself. In the way I interact with others around me. I will protect like the vulnerable under my care like he did. Sacrifice like he did. Expect nothing like he did (in the best way possible). Do my best to break generational cycles like he did.

Gee. One more thing about his ending. The way everyone just moved on without acknowledging Gojo's body or person and almost forgotten... brought memories of my safety net; my Grandmother. Whom died and had a funeral, and i video chatted once before she was gone. I never properly finished grieving her. I never got a chance to attend her funeral. Never was able to visit her burial. (I live across the country). I cried for 2 days and moved on because losing her was too hard to process, and i had other things to do. I felt like I disrespected her, and the manga resurfaced these feelings. I was able to be self-aware enough that I saw my grandmother in how Gojo's ending was all handled. I was now able to process that.

I had no role models. All I had was anime, fiction, and some school teachers. I'm grateful for Gojo's character. May i use these stories to become a better person. A better *me*. The JJK experience was fun. :) let's see what happens in the anime community from here.

Thanks for reading,

Alex

[moodythings-blog]

photo albums - growing up

sometimes i look at old photos of myself I look at facebook posts and photo albums I look at the little girl in those pictures

she's so naive, so sweet unaware of what was to come unaware of the pain she would cause she's smiling a big toothy grin she has straight dirty blonde hair she's tall for her age but at a point where the rest of her body hasn't added up she watches dora, peppa pig, and disney movies over and over with her older sister she had so much potential

i look in the mirror to see where that potential got me

i don't smile naturally much anymore and if i do, it certainly doesn't show any teeth i've - we've - learnt to be ashamed of our smile because our teeth 'don't sit right' (since when did we care what other people thought of us?) my hair is wavy and brown from all the times i've dyed it I'm still tall but much more grown into my - our - body (yet it still doesn't stop you from critizing what became of it in the mirror, picking apart at every flaw until looking at ourselves became unbearable) it got to the point that i don't recognise the girl in the mirror and can only look at the remains with disgust i watch romcoms, stupid sitcoms and depressing shows over and over and over again because it's stupid and comforting i'm not nearly as close with our older sister we're burnt out we used to be smart and then everyone caught up and we struggled to keep pace

what happened? where did it all go wrong? where did i fail that little girl?

the person we are now, i don't know who they are but the person we were between this happening is gone. dead. and when i look at myself i can't find that little girl she's gone, replaced i'm a monster now a wasted shell of my former self a disgrace would it be wrong, to grieve what could have been? how amazing she could have become? would it be wrong to mourn someone who didn't die, but merely changed?

to that little girl

if you can hear me, I'm so sorry for what you have become

[anonimissallstar]

Gifted Kid Burnout

Am I good enough? Am I good enough really? I used to be smart. I used to be so talented. I used to be kind. I used to have a heart of gold but now it grows stone-cold. High Honor. Spelling  Bee. I still felt i wasn't good as me. Dancing made my heart fly but I saw the other dancers pass me by. Am I good enough? Am I good enough still? A star. An MVP. Coach's choice. Am I good enough for this reality? Sometimes I do well but never excel. I don't stand out and I burn out, just trying to reach the bare minimum. But then the bar was lowered. I didn't even have to try, but then before I could open my eyes I had fallen behind. Fallen back. Back. Back to average. Back to crying. Back to crawling. Back to wondering "Will I ever be good enough?"   I won. I got the best person. A ten. So perfect, so smart, so talented; such glee that a man like that could fall for me. But then I stop. And start to think. Will I ever be good enough to stand next to him? Accomplishments praise all things worthy, and  unenvied, but I can't compare. They look past me as I'm standing there. A DISTRACTION. That's all I am. Because I'm not the one who succeeds. I'm just there. I fail and I fail and I fail and I fail. The numbers drop. THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DROP. But down they go. They were supposed to go up. I tried this time. I tried and I tried and I tried But to no avail. Because despite all that I managed to fail. He's going to do great things, and I'm in the way. It doesn't matter if I try. My efforts are in vain. Because he has potential and I'm here to waste. They all rise. They all rise except for me. AM I EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE? They're all smarter than me. I thought I could do it. I thought I could try. I've done it before so why couldn't I? Am I good enough where I am? No. I want to be good at something. I want to excel. I want to be successful and I want him to as well. I feel no jealousy for his success. He's perfect I could never love him any less. But I fear. I fear deep inside he'll realize his worth and leave me behind. Because here I am. Not special, No talent. my numbers decreasing. My chemicals unbalanced. I saw a future so bright made for me where everyone was happy and I DID succeed. But now all I see is I'm holding them back and I pray, pray I'll keep me on track. To strive to be better. To work for perfection. I know that HE loves me. But it's not his love I lack. The truth of the matter is I'm mourning my past. The only love I received was if I did something accomplished. the children would tease me, but the teachers gave me good conscious. I shone bright compared to others but now my spotlight fades. As I look to my future and my dreams wave. They wave. They wave goodbye. because all that I hoped for is hidden in doubt. Because I'm back to where I started. Am I good enough? Am I good enough really?

[catloveschris]

Rebel Moon (Zack Snyder, 2023)

Okay, this is my first post, so how do I start it?

First, let you know this is not my first language and so my vocabulary is limited, and i'm using this as a way to practice english.

Second, is very probably that, in the inmensity of the internet and this website, no one reads this thing but I wanted to put my thoughts on the movies/series that i watch through the year to feel that I'm sharing it with someone.

Third, i am no way a cinema expert but I do enjoy a good movie, so I do this for the only purpose of fun.

So, yes, rebel moon. To be honest I didn't hear a lot about this film before it came to Netflix, so when the movie started my first thought was oh, this is really star wars coded, so I googled it to find out that it is, in fact, star wars coded, because it was created for that universe, and I don't know if that ruined the experience for me because the more I watched the more I keep comparing it with "Rogue One" (which is, btw, the movie that make me a star wars fan, so bless u Diego Luna) because the similarities.

I mean, think about it, the protagonist, a tough fighter that is, somehow, connected to the opresor government and that at first wants nothing to do with the rebellion and has separated herself from all that war and conflict, gets involved again and starts a journey with the messy haired brunette bearded man (don't know if I said that right but u get the idea), which leads to both of them to find a diverse group of individuals for the cause. The difference is that in Rogue One, I get to instantly connect and care for the characters and find them really really interesting; sadly, it wasn't the case for rebel moon (except for a few of them, but will get there later), for example, a character betrays the group and another one dies and, honestly, I didn't feal anything at all, in fact, I care more about the damn robot voiced by anthony hopkins that those two characters mention before.

I think that Zack Snyder sacrifice a lot of history and character development in favour of the fight scenes and cinematography, and I know that slow mo is his thing but someone really needs to tell him that sometimes is to much.

Even so, there are a few things that I enjoy. I really like the world construction, I would like to see more about this universe; also, shout out to all people behind the costume and make up, because I really appreciate all the work they put in this movie.

And even when I said I get a little bit tired of the slow mo, I did enjoy the choreography in the fight and action scenes.

And, as I said before, there are characters that I do care about. I very much like the relationship between Kora and Gunnar (sorry, I'm a hopelessly romantic) and I'm really forward to see more of them together and individually (what can I say, I like man like Gunnar: useless, no brain, just kindness and grain. Jk, he is just not in his element, yet). I also enjoy Nemesis and her wannabe red lightsaber, and now I can't but wonder if in the original idea she was supposed to be a sith or someone from the darkside that turns to the light and helps the rebellion, and think about the potential that storyline could have in the star wars universe ("el hubiera no existe" my mom would say). Oh, I almost forgot the robot, Jimmy. How is possible that a robot is more charming than almost all the characters of this film? No idea, but he was 5 minutes, served and we never see him again, so I expect more of him in part 2.

And lastly, let me get a moment to mourn the wasted potential of Charlie Humman, Jena Malone, Ray Fisher and most important my man Alfonso Herrera (te quiero mucho Ponchito) in this film, they deserved better.

Aaaaand I think that's enough for today, see y'all in the next movie.

[reallyghostlypost]

Headcanons about the train station

Since I'm thinking about making my farmer an artist I decided to look at some places in the game from a more artistic perspective, although I'm not exactly the most philosophical person.

Basically, I'm trying to nail Thad's voice down so I've written a small analysis of the train station area from his perspective.

The train station, another potential way out of town that just didn't truly work. Being here makes him feel even more isolated, proof that you can't leave the town for good, not by travelling nor dying. While the station is technically functional and trains are passing through, he never saw any of them stop here. Ever. Plus there was something here too, especially in the bathhouse - just lurking, waiting for an opportunity.

He only visited the bathhouse once, immediately after the landslide was cleared. He couldn't relax at all despite nothing happening - there was something watching him, stalking him. The odd angles of the walls means that he could never see the entire room from any spot and the milky white water could hide anything in it's depths. He was tense at all times, could feel his magic tingling under his skin, ready to lash out at any sign of danger.

The worse part was that he can't figure out what is actually there. It isn't a one of his own, not a dark creature or a corrupted being nor a ghost or anything undead. He would be able to tell in that case since his own magic is so similar. It's not a fairy, they would never accept someone to just walk through their territory like that. Nothing related to the forest magic that's all over the valley either, since there isn't a single plant in the building. What else could it be? Until he could figure out what creature is there he decided to avoid the bathhouse.

But that doesn't mean he can't visit the train station. There is a constant theme of being out of place here that he loves. There's the ever avoided bathhouse - oddly luxurious and clean despite no one ever visiting, a perfect trap if it wouldn't be so obvious. Then there's Susan, originally from Grampleton and not quite integrated into Pelican Town, still longing for her old home and for somewhere else, constantly travelling in search for that place but never finding it. And then there are the trains. They don't belong here and they know it. They would never stop here and they would never allow anyone from this station to climb onboard.

But his favourite part was the oddly placed adventurer graveyard, full of heroes forgotten by the townspeople despite giving their lives for the town's safety, unmourned and left to rot. Obviously he likes spending time in the graveyard, especially with how overgrowned and abandoned it is. But he especially likes walking on the train tracks and looking up at the graveyard, sometimes he could barely see a shadow pass between the headstones, mourning their wasted lives and their defeat at the hands of the dark magic now keeping then prisoners here, with the same mountain they died fighting in slowly eating their graves and bones and souls. Eventually they would realize they have never actually escaped the mines.

Standing in certain places around the area he can still feel the dark energy of the mine, calling for him to go inside. Always hungry, always promising something - riches, glory, adventure, or in Marlon's case forgiveness for the mistakes and the guild of the past. Everything to gain new victims. It's slowly eating at the wards Magnus placed around it knowing that it will outlast every single person here, that it will eventually win.

He's sure that even the townspeople can feel it's pull. He can sometimes see in some dark nights how someone will glance towards the mountains and quickly look away, and he can feel how cold fear spreads around the saloon when someone mentions it, even with the room full of people and bright lights, and all the warming alcohol being passed around.

[bisexualchrissycunningham]

I've been taking all these screenshots of Chrissy's last day of life and the ONLY person we see her have a direct face-to-face interaction with the entire episode/day (more than one, in fact) is Eddie. We never see her talk privately with her boyfriend (though Max walks by a different jock and cheerleader making out fiercely in the hallway) or a friend from cheerleading. We don't even see her talk to Ms. Kelley, just her exiting her office looking like she wants to curl up into a ball and disappear. We see Max ask if she's okay, looking like she wants to do something (one of the only times we see Max take an interest in anything at all in this episode) but Chrissy isn't in a headspace where she can accept any kind of help from anyone.

The only help she will take is the kind she deliberately seeks out from a "mean and scary" drug dealer.

Based on their interaction in the woods, she is perfectly willing to ride home with him to his trailer and buy the ketamine he offered. You can say it's only because she's desperate, but we know from the actual forest scene, the way they connected, and from the way Joe and Grace have talked about their intentions for the scene, that it's not only out of desperation. There is something more after the forest scene.

She's nervous when they get to the trailer, not at ease the way she was with him earlier. It seems like she feels Vecna closing in on her at this point.

Because he is. She knows she's nearing the end. And when she is, she calls Eddie's name and runs for him.

Just as he's calling her name and trying to shake her awake.

I know sometimes I complain about the wasted potential of their love story, but this "love story cut short before it could begin" truly was executed so brilliantly. It's why we're all still mourning it!

[mazes-and-the-madness]

Hey, I just asked news about camren.

I kinda new already the answer that they together anymore but I was wishing someone would say something else 😔😔

Also L and S are a together but S is not invited at in between party but TY (aka ex pr partner aka "always love song about" aka wolves co-singer) is ??? Meanwhile S supporting and listening Lauren's wolves song posted on IG story....

Did I get it right?? 🤭

Oh yeah and L liking IG's post including C 😌

Dear L, what's going on my friend... What's the plan..

I really love L and it hurts me to see separated from C tbh.. But maybe they need time appart, we won't really know the entire truth... But still it upsetting me to see love wasted like this when we all know how good they are for eachothers, years they spend loving eachothers and fighting for their freedom to be together...

Hope they figure out they issues and take the right decisions

Oh interesting, I didn't know that about the party or Instagram activity. I don't follow those things because a) I don't have Insta and b) sometimes this fandom places wayyy too much stock in who does what on social media. Personally, I think the music is our best bet at figuring out what's really going on.

One more thing: I realize that a lot of us feel a strong connection to Camren for one reason or another, but as the recent Lizzo drama shows, the truth is that we don't know our favorite celebrities, including CL. Even if they were good for each other at one point, they could have outgrown each other permanently by now.

If that's true, I still wouldn't call their love "wasted" because I'm sure they learned a lot about themselves and what they want out of a relationship. While it's okay for us to feel sad about it, I'd encourage you to celebrate all the good moments of Camren and how it's helped you rather than mourn its (potential) ending.

[themattress]

TLJ discourse from 5 years ago. Let's see here....

"It retreads the Empire-Rebel conflict". Tbh, I can't help but blame TFA for this one, since it already did that even if the Empire and Rebel positions weren't quite the same as in the Original Trilogy. The fact that we have such a familiar conflict at all is what allowed Rian Johnson to take it in the direction that he did.

Can't argue there; Rey was a waste of potential in this movie.

God yes. Finn was done so dirty.

This isn't an actual problem, though. He was still shown to be incredibly vulnerable and conflicted during that first redemption rejection and after it. Having him go through another redemption rejection where we see that he's now far more assured in his dark path made him feel like a greater threat.

Yeah, fair criticism.

Ditto.

I feel as though you're ignoring the impact that those lessons actually had on her, and also that his unintentional final lesson ended up being about the nature of failure and how you should and should not respond to it.

At least the Dyad now exists so we know what the deal is.

Um, she was already shackled to that Neo-Nazi school shooter. Their interactions in TFA made it clear there was a connection between them that would continue to grow.

See point 3 again.

Didn't we see her mourn him in TFA already?

THIS, otoh, has no justification. What the Hell, Lucasfilm?

Again, totally indefensible on Lucasfilm's part.

Poe would have still been a mess even if that scene was retained.

This doesn't bother me that much. I'm actually way more bothered by their overtly positive spin on things during the ending. This needed to be a somber, bittersweet moment, not a happy one.

Yeah, that was weird.

Informed Attributes happen; it wasn't harped on so I don't care.

Ackbar should've sacrificed his life and Holdo should've lived, IMO.

Well, Wexley came back in the next movie! And then he died.

Huh? They still interact before and after that separation, though!

It really is bizarre how much this movie deleted that it needed yet retained so much that it didn't.

They interact toward the end of the movie, though.

This legit BAFFLES me. Why did Kathleen Kennedy allow this treatment of Leia? Shouldn't she want her to have more action, to really earn that large role planned for her in Episode IX? And more importantly, to utilize Carrie Fisher to the best of her abilities while she was still around?

B-but democratization of da Force! :P

Maz was a waste in both follow-ups to TFA. It's such a shame.

This is a nitpick; sometimes telling and not showing is fine.

Another nitpick; who the Hell cares at this point?

Honestly, why were the Knights of Ren even a thing to begin with?

In this case, yes, telling and not showing wasn't fine because if Rian Johnson wanted this story to remain true then not showing it and just relying on Kylo's words came back to bite him, as did leaving out who was on the ship seen in TFA.

Absolutely. Was at least one line of dialogue giving some kind of explanation really too much to ask for?

It’s nothing. This movie is nothing. 

Rewatching The Last Jedi, it astonishes me how many opportunities the movie chose to squander. I have never seen a sequel so determined to do absolutely nothing with any of the setups or characters from a previous installment, or to remove the scenes that would carry the most emotional weight, and it’s really, really depressing to me. 

It retreads the Empire-Rebel conflict. The setup was there for a small, outmatched First Order, which had lost most of its resources with Starkiller Base, up against a mostly-intact New Republic, but I guess no one in the NR cares enough about the state of the galaxy to fight back. The NR is completely ignored and never even seen as a functioning entity, and everyone seems to use “Rebels” and “Resistance” interchangeably.

A Force-using protagonist was introduced who’s shown to be quite aggressive and reckless, potentially making her a more morally-grey character, then she turns out to be good by definition no matter what she does because she only exists to balance out the evil antagonist.

A former member of the Evil Army of Evil, who turns out to be one of the most empathetic characters in the saga, who used to be a cog in the machine, deserted them on moral grounds. You want subversion, there it is. A faceless, disposable mook became the deuteragonist. Or he was. Now he has his experiences as a child soldier played for laughs by making it seem like he was the entire First Order’s janitor instead of an capable, promising soldier who rejected them.

They had an antagonist who’d modeled himself after Darth Vader and was deliberately shown to reject redemption when offered, then the second movie is devoted to showing he’s potentially redeemable only to reiterate the same point.

There’s a journey to the first Jedi temple. Nothing is learned about the origins of the Jedi, or who the first Jedi were. The original Jedi texts are present. They are never read from. Very little information about the Jedi can be gleaned from this location, aside from what appears to be a focus on balance between the light and dark, judging from one mosaic. Luke’s criticisms of the Jedi apply to the order during the prequels, he doesn’t explain anything about how they began.

The temple has been watched over by a group of caretakers for an unknown amount of time and for unknown reasons. They appear in two scenes, both of which are comic relief, and answer next to nothing about them or their culture.

Rey’s training under Luke consists of two lessons (out of three he had promised, the third was deleted) and swinging a lightsaber around, unsupervised, for about thirty seconds.

Rey picking up the use of the Force so easily was a waste. Characters training in fiction is a great opportunity to see how they face and overcome challenges, and in the case of fantastical settings, to build up the mechanics of the world and how scifi/magical elements work. This is why Luke’s training with Yoda in ESB was so interesting. We can’t see Rey siphoning the skills from Kylo’s brain, we need to be told that’s what’s happening to explain how she got so strong so fast. The fact there’s an explanation for it doesn’t make it interesting to watch.

They didn’t even go all in with making Rey a completely independent character. If you want to contrast her with Kylo, being someone with no significant background or family vs someone born to a legacy and loving family who spat on it all, show why she’s worthier of it. Now instead of showing she’s a better heir than Kylo while having no blood relation to Luke, her interactions with him are tense at best and physically violent at worst. Instead of the expected outcome of her being important because she’s related to Luke, she’s important because the Force made her Kylo’s antithesis and dumped a bunch of power on her. Another character is still the source of her involvement in the narrative, just for a different, less-interesting reason. Instead of having the torch passed to her by her father, Rey gets shackled to a Neo-Nazi school shooter. 

They wanted to show a hero coming from an unassuming background, and did nothing with Finn, whose background is unknown, never implied to be important, and considering the FO probably doesn’t bother to keep detailed records of its child soldiers, potentially impossible to find out.

Didn’t have Leia mourn Han at all, and removed his funeral from the film despite initial plans to include it.

They deleted the scene showing Luke grieving over Han’s death.

They deleted the scene that develops Phasma by exposing her cowardice, develops Finn by letting him be the one to confront her over Starkiller’s destruction, and develops the stormtroopers by depicting them as real people with their own doubts and the potential for revolt. All that was gone in favor of “Let’s go, chrome dome”.

They deleted the scene set during the evacuation depicting Connix warning Poe that they needed more time to escape, which is what motivated him to go against the FO fleet and buy time, showing his devotion to his comrades and willingness to throw himself in danger to protect them. This is cut, and Poe is repeatedly implied to be hot-headed and glory-seeking despite his actions being based around the aforementioned motives and no alternative scenes were included, we’re just told he was being reckless despite his behavior in both movies being inconsistent with that. Poe’s actions cost the bombers, but it took out the dreadnought and saved the people on the transports.

With all the talk about the core theme of “failure”, instead of having the Resistance attack on the dreadnought fail, it succeeds. They could’ve shown the plucky, rag-tag fighters utterly fail against the First Order’s indomitable war machine, but instead, they accomplish their goal. Yeah, they lost their bombers. Costing about 50 casualties and the most incompetently-designed ships in the franchise doesn’t matter much compared to 215,000 enemy combatants and the FO’s second-largest warship getting taken out. That’s a damn good resource exchange and I don’t know how much better than a 4000:1 kill ratio Poe would need for people to stop criticizing him. It’s probably higher than that already depending on how many people went down with Starkiller Base. The attack on the first Death Star cost all but three of the fighters sent to destroy it, suffering heavy losses doesn’t make it a defeat.

With Paige dead, and the movie treating the successful destruction of the dreadnought as a disaster and entirely Poe’s fault, Rose never confronts him about how he led her sister into the battle that killed her despite interacting after Rose’s introduction focused on her grief. 

Rose is established as a mechanic, and never shown making use of those skills.

Admiral Ackbar is killed after giving him a single line anyone else could’ve delivered. Yeah, he’s liked by fans almost solely because of the “It’s a trap!” line, but that’s no reason to do absolutely nothing with him.

Jessika Pava and Temmin Wexley are just gone, apparently. They were minor characters, but they were still there, they could’ve been interesting, and now they’re gone. They’re either dead, which sucks, or they’re off with other Resistance forces elsewhere, which undermines the FO’s single-minded focus on the fleet we’re shown. A sequel should not rely on people being ambivalent to characters from previous installments to make sense.

Finn and Poe are prevented from interacting by separating them.

Rey and Finn are prevented from interacting beyond a hug, and they deleted a scene where Finn sees Rey’s parting promise to meet him again, shown to him by BB-8, who tries to comfort Finn. Like with Poe’s deleted scene, this provides context to his actions and was removed to make the character look worse, even though we can infer his motives from his development in the last movie.

Luke and Leia are prevented from interacting by putting Leia into a coma.

Leia is put into a coma so she can’t do anything else, either. When she’s finally out of the coma and calls for help from her allies across the galaxy, no one responds. Leia Organa, the last princess of Alderaan, who was present at the biggest battles of the Galactic Civil War, who led the Resistance against the galaxy’s would-be oppressor, can’t inspire anyone to action.

It’s asserted that the Jedi do not own the Force, which is a well-established aspect of the universe in many other Star Wars works. Then no new insights into it unconnected to Jedi teachings are provided. The film ends with Rey carrying on the Jedi’s legacy anyway.

Maz Kanata, a Force-sensitive non-Jedi, appears for a brief cameo and is not connected to the whole anti-Jedi bent the film’s on at all.

Both Rey and Kylo state they’ve had visions of each other’s future which inform their actions and expectations of each other. Neither are shown or described in detail. In Kylo’s case this might be understandable because he’s almost never the viewpoint character, but Rey was shown visions of herself by the Force in that cave, something could’ve been added there.

What happened to Luke’s green lightsaber? I assumed it was destroyed when that hut collapsed on him in the flashback, but I can’t find any confirmation of that. It’s the saber he constructed himself and wielded after losing his father’s, it’s relevant to his character, but it’s completely forgotten. Including by Luke himself since he Force-holograms up the old blue one.

No information is provided on the Knights of Ren and the film doesn’t even acknowledge their existence. They are presumably other students of Luke’s, but neither they nor the other Jedi-in-training they presumably killed are seen. Apparently they were considered as replacements for the Praetorian Guards, but were cut because that wouldn’t make sense and there was no room for them otherwise. Here’s a thought: if Kylo Ren is taking over the First Order from Snoke, have him fight the guards alongside the knights.

No information is provided on Rey’s parents aside from their irrelevance. If what Kylo said was true, have the guts to show the damn drunks explicitly and stick to that explanation if you’re going to do it. It also doesn’t address who was on that ship in Rey’s flashback in TFA.

No information is provided whatsoever about Snoke, including him being completely absent from the flashback scenes showing the moments before Kylo Ren destroyed the new Jedi despite his explicitly-stated relevance to Kylo’s development around that time.

It’s nothing. This movie is nothing. The problem isn’t “subverting expectations”, the movie actively doesn’t use what it’s given and then replaces potential payoffs with nothing. These are all setups provided either by The Force Awakens or The Last Jedi itself, and the movie either ignores them or cuts them out for the sake of time. It’s become a cliché criticism to bring up the milking scene, but the fact they left that in while cutting out all those deleted scenes shows how monumentally fucked up Rian Johnson’s priorities are. What really hurts is that it could’ve been great, but everything that could’ve had emotional weight and character depth was deliberately stripped out.