#sometimes i just think about penises

[blueberrybeomgyu]

top 4 boys id jerk off

1. soobin - i think he's really hanging. id love to try to wrap my hand around what he's packing. i also think it's probably pretty

2. euijoo - he really gives me like pretty pink dick energy. like i bet it flushes so cutely. i feel like he's on the thinner side so I just wanna wrap both hands around it and work like im grinding pepper

3. jaehyun - so chubby you can't convince me otherwise like i bet his dick just mushrooms so cutely. i think it'd be nice specifically to palm him especially through his boxers and also i think he's fr a faucet like he'd soak through his boxers so quick

4. anton - absolutely Packing. just huge and girthy like my fingertips won't even touch with my hand around him. and i feel like he'd be so shy while you jerk him off like he'd hide his face and it would be cute.

thank you come again 🪄

[gatheringbones]

[“Oftentimes when we think about preparing for penetrative sex, we think about the willingness and readiness of the penetrator: a penis becoming a boner, a dildo being lubed up. And yes, sadly, a phallus can usually make its way inside a canal whether the canal is ready or not. But wet and swollen pussies and rectums and throats are, simply put, better for fucking.

That’s one of the many advantages of fisting for people who enjoy being penetrated: unlike a cylindrical phallus, it requires patience and finesse to get the considerably bumpier shape of a hand inside. It’s easier for most penises to slip into most vaginas or rectums, but “easy” doesn’t necessarily translate to “more pleasurable” for anyone involved. Fisting emphasizes what the fistee wants and needs in order to relax and open, which changes the act of penetration from “let’s get this done” to “let’s take our time.” It’s not that it always requires hours of tantric foreplay: I’ve seen people swallow hands in a matter of minutes. But fisting tops and bottoms do need to be attuned to each other more than in any other kind of intercourse.

Adamczak mentions fisting several times in her piece (“a closed hand around a dildo, of lips around a foot, of a vagina stretched over a fist���). To my mind, getting fisted is the ultimate act of circlusion, even if the term itself refers to the penetrating body part. Fisting necessitates communication, patience, finesse, embodied listening, and active breathwork. This may go some way toward explaining why fisters tend to enter a meditative, trance-like state. Fisting requires intentional engagement from the bottom, because in order to take a fist you really have to breathe deeply, to communicate about slowing down or wanting more, to reach for the poppers, to ask for the lube. And these are all things bottoms could be doing all the time, but fisting takes us out of our assumptions that the bottom is there to satisfy the top’s lust, to simply take it. A fistee must be a size queen, someone who loves to be filled up with something massive. Opening to a fist is a trust fall for everyone involved. When your hand is deep inside someone, you can feel their heart beating back against you. Sometimes when I’m up to my wrist in an aroused, engorged bottom, watching and feeling and listening to and smelling a partner so aroused they’re thrashing and bearing down and grasping back and contracting over and over, I think: Why would you fuck a hole that isn’t turned on? Sure, I take pride in turning people on and driving them insane with ecstasy, but fucking an engorged hole is just more fun, like bouncing on a trampoline or being tossed into the air by a taut parachute, with all the verve that inspires.

It’s not just penises that enjoy being circluded either. Clit heads respond to pressing and smashing and mashing, especially once they’ve been teased into arousal. The suction of a mouth or pump toy vacuum sealed around the vulva can create the feeling that your junk is swollen enough to put inside of something or someone. “What matters is not what parts a body possesses, but rather, which parts are put into action,” concludes Adamczak, and this is a queer manifesto bigger than circlusion, bigger even than fisting. When we reinvent and remap our anatomy for the purpose of pleasure, we leave behind inherited anxiety and shame around what our bodies are capable of, opening wide to engulf the future.”]

tina horn, from why are people into that? a cultural investigation of kink, 2024

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

I started reading The Titans (1999) recently and this is my understanding of the team's vibes based on the first 14 issues

Roy would kiss Dick or Garth in a heartbeat but Dick doesn't notice because he's a single mom who works three jobs and Garth doesn't care because Roy thinks that doing Atlantean microaggressions is cute

also now Garth has a wife and newborn or something, I don't know I draw the line at reading Aquaman

canonically Donna told Roy she might only be interested in hooking up with him because she's in her turmoil era and he said that's actually fine with him so now they're just having sex sometimes and none of their housemates care. which is just what being in your 20s is like, to be fair.

also canonically Roy isn't exactly in love with Cheshire but is definitely still devoted to her to a degree that is unwell, baby boy go to therapy

Dick and Kory are trying to be chill about it but their failed engagement is a huge gaping wound between them that they're just Not Talking About and now you can't leave them alone together because if they run out of surface level small talk they'll start yelling and throwing furniture

Kory and Donna could lez out if they wanted to but inexplicably don't

Toni has a crush on Grant and Grant has a crush on her back but he's also battling his demons and the demons are bisexuality and he keeps imagining really elaborate scenarios that somehow end with him kissing Roy

Dick is touchy feely with Donna to the point that a layman would assume she's touched his penis but they're genuinely platonic and just Like That. he could put in a tampon for her and it wouldn't be that weird.

Dick is touchy feely with Wally to the point that a layman would assume they've touched each other's penises and they'd be right but they haven't been fuckbuddies in a while

Vic and Gar are so married that they should have a crusty little white dog or two that they can dote on, but their relationship is also casually open

Jesse and Wally get along like cousins which is fitting because all speedsters are basically family anyway. to me.

Jesse regards everyone else as a valued but overly familiar coworker, except for Dick who she is attracted to. Dick is aware of this but pretending he isn't because he doesn't reciprocate and is already busy juggling messy situationships with Barbara, Helena, and his own landlord

[tealvenetianmask]

A defense of Blitz in those text messages.

Because people are still making reactions to Western Energy with the caption, "Stolas deserves better." There are still people being shitty about it in the tags too. And Blitz is my favorite and doesn't deserve the slander.

Stolas has been taught subtlety, politeness, and understatement his entire life, and even though it doesn't come naturally to him (see The Circus and literally everything about him). He thinks it's the best way to get accepted by people. To Blitz, that's upper class bullshit that's condescending, manipulative, and mostly lies. He also can't write like that, so why even try to engage with it?

When you take apart each line, it's clear that Blitz's feelings of inferiority and hurt are responsible for the tone of these texts, NOT a desire to hurt or abandon Stolas.

Here.

ITZ WUTEVS

Blitz's internal monologue: You're apologizing to be polite. No one says "I'm sorry if anything I said or did may have offended you" and means it. What you mean is that you hope we still get to fuck. It would be better if you just said that. I'll be down eventually though.

Y?

Blitz's internal monologue: You don't really care. Cut the polite bullshit.

SHUR (I think- it's blurry, but it's in response to the wall of text about just how unbothered Stolas is by what happened at Ozzies, how glad he is that Blitz doesn't care, and how maybe Blitz should insult him in bed sometime.

Blitz's internal monologue: You just confirmed that you don't care in a whole paragraph. It was hard to read all that, and I already knew you didn't care.

NP (Seeing Stars)

Blitz's internal monologue: NP (lol)

LYKE OLWAYS

Blitz's internal monologue: sex night! (cue penises running around on a rainbow on his calendar)

K (after Stolas says that Blitz doesn't have to come over)

Blitz's internal monologue: he doesn't want sex night. Act cool. I shouldn't feel sad about this. Act cool.

WUTEVR U WANT. ITS UR NIGHT.

Blitz's internal monologue: This is not a drill. He's not into me anymore.

MAE BEE

Blitz's internal monologue: I get it. You don't want me. Quieter voice in the back of his head: Stolas wants to talk. Talking is scary. Better not commit to talking.

I MITE B BUSY

Blitz's internal monologue, STRAIGHT FROM THE DUET: I'm getting by on avoiding his questions!

It was surprisingly hard to screenshot this stuff/get it across without rewriting everything! Please, let me know your insights/different interpretations, and feel free to link other posts that have already done this well- I know there are some!

[certifiedsexed]

Terrified to ask in fear I'll be framed bad but here I go!!

I'm very interested in the human body and anything that can be considered medical (have been ever since I was 3-4 years old!!) and so I tend to get carried away with topics when it comes to human anatomy or procedures

One of which I've been talking about a lot is ftm HRT and the affects it'll have because not only am I incredibly excited for it I find it fascinating with how it works and what changes it provides and I'll yap about it in VCs with friends and stuff

With that context out of the way some of the people in those VCs are minors and I'm worried that what I'm talking about is harming them (because sometimes the topic turns to bottom growth or vaginal atrophy, sometimes the topic turns to mtf hrt and I'll discuss breast growth and the affects estrogen has on penises or testicles) Because I'm an adult (barely so too, I turned 18 like this year)

The minors are 15 or older never any younger and I always clarify and check in if I'm making anybody uncomfortable and if people want me to stop which everyone has said continously that they're ok with it and even ask questions about the topic (a lot of the people I hang out with are trans folks who have some kind of transition goal in mind)

But I'm worried if I'm pushing it too far and am actually harming them because I'm an adult while these people are minors. It never turns sexual its all talked about in a strictly educational manner.

I hope this makes sense sorry for the long ask :(

It's kinda interesting to read this ask for me because I'm very similar to this and have been for a long time. I also had similar worries but more about sharing with my siblings than general friends.

Look, talking about sex education (including trans specific sex education) isn't bad for kids or going to harm them.

You've been interested in this type of thing since you were very young yourself, do you think it hurt you? It doesn't sound like it, seeing as you're still wholly excited and fascinated with this type of subject.

It sounds like you're very considerate about it as well and that your friends are curious/interested in the topics you discuss. That's wonderful.

You being 18 does not make it dangerous or harmful. You're not flirting with minors or anything even similar. You're just sharing information-information that it sounds like some of these kids will need!

You being an adult doesn't immediately make it inappropriate or dangerous. In fact, I'd argue having a safe adult these kids can talk to and ask questions about topics like that generally makes them safer.

If any of them were voicing discomfort and you continued to engage them in these conversations, ignoring that, I'd say, "Definitely stop that." but so far, it sounds absolutely fine.

Hope this helps, Anon! Let me know if you have any other questions. <3

[archangeldyke-all]

My brain rot is going CRAZYYYYY

Sevika with scientist reader? And she’ll just blurt out random ass facts about Sev anatomy? Especially during sex.

hahahahahah i love this

men and minors dni

you've got her underneath you, two of your fingers in her cunt as she shakes. "you're so fuckin' pretty, sev, i love you so much." you whisper.

sevika whimpers.

then. "did you know a vagina's acidity is the same as most tomatoes? they both have an average pH of 4.5..." you trail off, ducking down to kiss a path down sevika's chest.

she bursts into laughter, pushing you away from her. you blink up at her, confused. "what?!" she asks, still giggling.

"what?"

"'s this your way of tellin' me my cunt smells like ketchup or somethin'?" she asks. you snort.

"no!" you laugh. "no, sorry, i just-- i just learned that yesterday." you say, embarrassed.

sevika giggles and pulls you back on top of her body. "you're cute. but... maybe pick a sexier vegetable to talk about it bed next time. like eggplant..."

"techinically tomatoes are fruits--"

"for fuck's sake babe!" she laughs.

it happens more often than you'd expect. you've got two real passions in life: your passion for biology and your passion for sevika. it's not surprising to you that when you're rambling about one, the other sometimes slips out too.

like when you guys are scrolling through a sex-shop online, half shopping, half making out. sevika hovers the cursor over a unique dildo, named 'unicorn's horn.' it's got columns spiraling up the shaft in pastel colors, the head rounded off. she chuckles. "could feel good..." she considers. "'s seven inches..."

"you know, ducks actually have corkscrew penises, similar to this. though, theirs are only one of these columns."

sevika bursts into laughter, then opens a new tab. "hold on, i gotta see this..." she mumbles as she starts typing 'duck dick' in the search bar.

or when sevika's kissing her way down your abdomen, heading straight for your cunt, and you lean back against the pillows, slide your hands in her hair, and speak.

she's expecting something romantic.

she isn't expecting: "do you know that some species of bats have been observed giving their partners cunnilingus? scientists think they're trying to lick competing sperm out of the female bat."

she just groans. "baby... please say something sexy so i can go down on you without that image in my head."

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai @vikasub @glass-apothecary @m0numents @macaroni676

[babiebom]

Hii! Could you do P, V, X and Z for Sebastian (sdv) for kinktober? 👉👈

A/N: yup yup!! Also just for anyone who is reading the seb x reader fic i am trying so hard to finish the current chapter but somehow my writing is constantly awkward. Maybe I just need to talk to people more idk.

Tw: sexual content

Alphabet Post Masterlist

P-Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Sebastian is a fast and rough kinda guy. He likes FUCKING and that’s exactly what he is going to do. He tried the slow and hard but he just loses control and chases his high and can’t stop it. Will make an effort if you want him to be slower and sensual, but he prefers the rough fucking.

V-Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

I think he varies based on what mood he is in. At the very least he is grunting and panting, it’s decently loud, he’s not trying to hide anything at all. I think he is VERY vocal and talks as he’s fucking. It’s not full on sentences but it is a bunch of “fucks” and “yeahs”. Sometimes he whimpers and moans if he isn’t in control, also never hides those.

X-X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Ooof. Now this is one that I struggle with for EVERYONE I have no experience with penises(peni? Penis’s? Penis’?) so this is literally from my mind and how I assume they look. This is so weird for me to describe

Anyways I think it’s about 8 inches, and had decent girth but isn’t too fat. The tip is pinkish and when it’s hard it turns red. Just barely curves upwards to hit all the right places. Literally big dick emo boy.

Z-Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

This is literally the only time he can fall asleep quickly from how worn out he is. Literally good sex cures his insomnia momentarily. He makes sure to at least make sure you are comfortable enough to sleep yourself, might run a bath for the two of you, if he isn’t completely worn out, where the both of you fall asleep until he wakes up first and puts you both to bed.

[drdemonprince]

can i ask for some sex advice? im a bisexual trans guy, i’ve been with cis women and had hookups with a cis guy where he just went down on me. i’m generally attracted to all genders, but sexually i find myself turned off/repulsed by penises and cum so i’ve only pursued hookups with ppl with vulvas (so far cis women and other ftms) or situations where i don’t have to interact with the penis. totally fine with trans women and femmes who are post-op, etc. i’ve just been worried that i’m gross/transphobic/a chaser? even though im bi i feel like a shitty person for not being into dick.

Hey, thanks for the question. I think it is a good thing to be asking oneself. I think that even if you were to conclude that your attitudes were transphobic, I don't think the solution would be pushing yourself to have sex you didn't want to have or trying to force yourself to "get over" the associations that you have. That won't work, and it's not your fault for having them. What matters is how we treat people, not what fleeting thoughts and emotions we might have privately, which is part of why it is so annoying for cis people to act as if they are persecuted for having a "genital preference" or whatever. The problem isn't their feelings. It's their exclusionary, cruel, often violent actions and the words they express publicly.

I think it's worth contemplating that many trans femme people have absolutely no desire to use their penises during sex, or can't because of various medical issues, and do not produce cum that looks anything like the way most cis men produce cum. How would you feel about a trans woman who does have a penis using a strap-on on you? About you two fisting each other? About you using a hitachi magic wand on her? How do you feel when you see a trans guy with a post-phalloplasty cock? Try to reflect on questions like these with curiosity and not judgement.

Maybe you will explore your feelings and find that there are still barriers; maybe for example you wouldn't feel comfortable going down on someone's penis, but would be happy to be fucked with a strap-on by someone who has a penis, or to fuck them. That's okay. Lots of trans women want exactly that kind of sexual encounter anyway. And lots more are open minded and recognize that T4T sex is experimental and free-floating and doesn't have to involve any specific sex acts. Negotiating these things should be done delicately and respectfully, but it is always fine to say "I don't do [xyz]" or "I don't want to do xyz right now."

I relate more to your question that you might know, albeit from a different direction. I have a lot of dysphoria about having a vagina; though PIV can feel good, what I most picture myself as having in my mind's eye is nothing at all between my legs. I hate receiving oral, as I've talked about a lot, but I'm also dysphoric about and disturbed by giving oral to a person with a vagina. I have also experienced a lot of sexual trauma that involved a (typically cis male) partner forcing or pressuring me to have sex with cis women. That's happened to me many times over the course of my life. It's also made facing any pressure whatsoever to have sex with women (either cis or trans) deeply triggering and upsetting to me.

All of my own personal hang-ups and traumas have left me feeling funnily very much like that one line from Saltburn, "Women are too wet. Men are so lovely and dry."

I do get into my head about it being super transphobic of me sometimes. But I have also had fun, carefree, experimental, gratifying, hot sex with trans men with vaginas. I might not be able to eat them out, but there's lots I can do. I can finger them, put my hands in them, eat their asshole, take their strap, suck their strap-on, kiss them, fondle them, play with their nipples, be fucked alongside them, writhe atop a single hitachi together with them, slap their ass, put a dildo in them, whatever. I just don't want to eat them out or have them eat me out, for the most part.

It would be highly understandable if a trans guy felt invalidated by my feeling that way or didn't want to have sex with me given those limits. that's fine. I understand this stuff is fraught and sucks sometimes. I don't talk about my feelings around this topic publicly often because it is so contentious and I don't want feelings to be hurt. But in my heart I'm comfortable with where I am at. I know which limits I have that seem immovable and I don't really want to push them ever again. Having those limits pushed is what traumatized me. At the same time, I know it's not connected in any way to seeing trans men as lesser than cis men, or as less attractive, and I know it's not a barrier to me having sex with trans men if the moment and our interests both align. I'm not a bad person for feeling this way. It's actually really hard to be trans and to be wired this way. But I'm doing the best I can with it to both grow, and not be an asshole, and also to find fulfillment.

[gatheringbones]

[“Too many of us have chosen to live in sexually ambiguous, sexually boring, sexually dead lesbian relationships because it wasn't safe to talk about desire---desire for cock, desire for pussy, desire for leather, desire for diversity. Exploring my desire for men has led me in an interesting circle---back to my incredible passion for womyn. My queer world will have to stretch (again) to make room for my fantasies, and perhaps even an affair or two. It will have to stretch to make room for whatever I desire.

Finally I realize what I am so afraid of. I am afraid that men and penises have so much power in this heteropatriarchal world that simply desiring one can invalidate 25 years of deep womon-loving. I'm afraid that lesbianism is so fragile that it needs to be protected by an iron fence. I am afraid that by desiring a cock, I will be excommunicated, torn away from the world of womyn. I am afraid that if I allow myself to open, perhaps I will want more. This is why a lesbian wanting a man demands so much courage. Courage to stand outside of identity politics, to insist that our community grow to accept all of us.

My lesbianism is as sure and solid as the Himalayas, as predictable as the seasons and the phases of the moon, as familiar as a womon in my arms ("Wherever I go, there's one thing I know, I'm sure to have a womon around me"). My desire for men is as fleeting as good chocolate and ripe strawberries---not always available, sometimes bitter and disappointing, often intoxicating as nectar, somewhat allergic, and extremely tempting.

I can live with all these desires. I will not compromise myself again. Fitting in is less important than filling out. There is a revolution afoot, and it is stretching the parameters of the old gay life. The hundredth monkey. A friend says, "Oy, I'm not ready for this century." But she is. She is.

Just when I thought I'd made some sense of these desires for men and had come to peace with them, my ex-lover called. The butch who couldn't communicate and who could never fuck me right. She has something to share, something important, something very personal. She has decided to come out as a transgendered person---bi-gendered, s/he calls it. S/he has come to realize that s/he has both a male body and a female body. Hir language may be new, but the experience is familiar.

It was hir male body I always wanted. I'd called it butch. S/he says that when s/he is in hir male body s/he desires men; when s/he is in hir female body s/he desires womyn. In other words, s/he's as queer as a $3 bill.

Suddenly, a fog begins to clear. If I desired hir male body and hir male body desires men, and when s/he is in hir female body s/he desires womyn, then s/he must've wanted me womon to womon (or man to man?), while I wanted hir butch to femme (Dare I say, male to female?). Suddenly our sex problems become very clear.

I always felt hir switch. As I filled with desire, wanting hir hardness, her maleness, s/he would become soft, almost girly, and it was like someone pulled the plug on the bathtub, the desire leaked out of me, leaving me--us--empty.

This starts me thinking about the lover before hir. The one with the sweet curls in her hair, the big round belly, and the soft eyes. The kinky one, where anything goes. She loves my femme self, calls me bitch and desires to fell me with hardness, to force me into submission.

Somehow though, it never quite worked. I am beginning to see what went wrong. This one wanted butch/femme, boy/girl sex, and I wanted lezzie sex. I loved hir female body and wanted to touch her. S/he wanted to give me hir male body. When I tried to touch hir breasts, I was reminding hir that she was a womon and was therefore rejecting her power. The lover s/he picked after me identified as a heterosexual woman (although she too used to be a radical dyke). When my ex-lover told me this new lover wouldn't touch her (after all she did identify as straight), I thought, how terrible, such internalized homophobia. Now I am beginning to understand how, by ignoring the girl body, the boy could feel his power. It got old fast, but for a while it worked, fed the rejected boy place inside.

I began this piece saying I hadn't had a man in 15 years. I am beginning to suspect that I've had many men. They'd called themselves butches.

I suppose none of this makes sense if you just think about biological bodies. These girls definitely had female bodies, tits and ass, and oh, so lovely to touch. But there is no doubt that these womyn have also had dicks. I've never said this out loud before, because dick is a dirty lesbian word. But I have been filled by womyn's dicks, and no, they are not "just" dildos.”]

Lionheart, from wanting men, from genderqueer: voices beyond the binary, edited by Riki wilchins, 2002

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Do you have any idea if post nut clarity is a real phenomenon or just a term for a feeling that occurs sometimes for people? Partner thinks it's a real like regularly occurring thing but I always thought it just was a random feeling that happened sometimes and not like. A syndrome or a thing a lot of people with penises experience EVERY time they orgasm. If you have any idea I'd love to know

hi anon,

while some people might feel particularly clearheaded after sex, it's not a universal phenomenon and there's no particularly compelling scientific reason why it would be. this article sums it up pretty well:

it's worth noting that, as this article points out, the term "post nut clarity" was coined on a comedy podcast, which I do think kind of tells you everything you need to know about how seriously it needs to be taken as a concept. again, it's not that no one ever experiences this, it's that it's an entirely subjective and variable experience that is by no means a universal sexual experience.

[snifekinner]

based on my favourite insulting horoscopes meme, i give u:

insulting you based on your favourite hetalia character

france: every surface in your house is sticky and i wouldnt sit on any of them. i would ask you to clean between your toes for once, but u wont see this post because that would require taking your hands out of your pants.

england: you are very self conflicted; you feel the need to assume an ironic stance at all times which you think makes you look intelligent but actually just makes you look a prick. everyone is sick of your condescending attitude. grow up.

germany: if you want something done, you'll do it, even if it involves walking directly through a brick wall like the kool aid man. your nerve and commitment is second only to your chronic denial of danger. you are an idiot and you're gonna die young.

italy: you are a sweet, simple soul who just wants to draw people kissing. your friends keep you around as a kind of charity case - you're the friend version of a rescue dog, and you also sometimes start whining for no reason.

japan: no one in your life knows the real you and thats why youre gonna die alone and be eaten by your cats. your loved ones will make millions selling off your manga collection. you have never touched a real boob.

usa: you have the same sense of humour and obsession with drawing penises as a 12yr old boy. anyone who even glances at your social media can tell what your kinks are, you pervert.

china: you definitely have back problems, and you sigh every day before logging into social media yet you continue to do it. you eat food directly out of the fridge or pot because plates take too much time.

russia: idk what your problem is but i bet its hard to pronounce. you're either medicated or you should be. you do tell really good stories but you cannot tell when someone isnt interested in them.

canada: you seethe more than julia stiles in 10 things i hate about you, yet you find it impossible to say no to people. you are passive aggressive and basically a coward. no one respects you.

[certifiedsexed]

Something about how you go "afab and female genitalia tell me nothing" feels oddly pretentious to me?? Is this intentional?? I know that both of these terms can also refer to non-vulva/vagina intersex genitals but still, I think you could word it in a more helpful way. Not to be rude or anything!! Sorry if it came off that way. I don't mean any offense to anyone with this ask (I'm on anon because I'm a pussy-ass bitch who fears I'll get blocked if I breathe wrong when sending an ask)

Anon continued: "Realised I should probably elaborate on what I meant by "helpful" - maybe just going "I presume you're referring to a vulva" instead of two paragraphs. I don't know it just makes me feel stupid. (I didn't send the original ask but I still felt stupid by assuming female genitals meant the typical female genitals. <--that wording is awful sorry.

Again I mean no harm I just have autism and can't word things in nice ways sometimes) (I'm so sorry I'm a fucking mess aaaaaahhh feel free to ignore both of my stupid asks)"

Well, I can tell you first off that I'm not trying to sound or be pretentious. I explain that "AFAB" and "female genitalia" tell me nothing because I want to be communicating as clearly as possible and I don't want to just assume something and not tell someone that's what I'm doing or why.

If I said "I presume you're referring to a vulva" without explaining how I came to that conclusion or why I need to assume in the first place, it just sounds like I'm saying "female genitalia" and "AFAB" are what led me to that conclusion in the first place.

Which they didn't.

I was going to write the post with less specific language first since Anon never specified [especially since female genitalia includes penises and a few questions would've needed slightly more in-depth answers for that] until I reread and processed the question about labias and tampons.

I'm not trying to make people feel stupid and I'm sorry it came off that way.

I try to explain as much as possible when answering asks and I guess sometimes that comes off as if I'm showing off or something but that's genuinely not what I'm trying to do.

My intent was also not trying to shame people if they made assumptions based on "female genitalia" and "AFAB".

I just don't want to make assumptions and fuck up my answers, so I try not to do that. But if I do make an assumption, I also want people to know where and why so that it doesn't become a mess of miscommunication.

I'm sorry that makes you feel bad and I really wish I could help but the alternative you suggested doesn't really work from a clear communication standpoint and I'm not sure what else I could say?

I understand you don't mean this badly, btw!

I appreciate it, I just don't think there's anything I can do. If it helps, I've been told I come off as a weird ass fucker my entire life, so you're not alone there. \o/

[suckinitup]

This is going on my tiny jrwi blog idgaf hi gang y'all get to hear my murderbot casting opinions because I don't wanna bother but I Do wanna talk about it.

Basic issue fandom is pissed about: murderbot is an INCREDIBLY queer and diverse series and is close to a lot of people's hearts because of it (also because it's just a DAMN good series) read murderbot. Anyway Murderbot the Character has been cast to be played by a white man, and fandom is upset.

But I think. The fact that they're upset. Actually makes alexander skarsgård perfect for the role? BECAUSE white cis man is the media default. BECAUSE white cis men are at the top of the patriarchy. BECAUSE. to everyone else. they are the enemy.

Murderbot is a secunit created by a company to stand guard over mining installations and ensure the people working there did their jobs and followed the rules through incredibly horrible positions. Murderbot's literal, actual purpose was to *enforce oppression.* it was a security unit. A cop. And even after it broke free of its govner module (the thing that would punish/kill it if it didnt participate in the system), it did its job for almost four entire years. And I just. God. Do you see it? The patriarchal ideas of aggression and enforcement and disposing those who aren't strong enough (secunits are meant to be disposable) and even being seen as a THREAT. the world of murderbot isn't OUR world. Their world is QUEER. The majority of the cast are non-white (or at least have non-white names). Murderbot, who looks like a man, who looks like an oppressor, makes people *afraid* wherever it goes. That just fucking kills me because I see the same thing happening with masculinity in queer spaces. There's this idea of men and maleness as something abhorrent or undesirable. Trans men attacked, radfems radicalizing around the IDEA of evil penises, butches cast aside, "women and nonbinary" and just. Crazy ass gender essentionalism that's "okay" because it's cast the other way. Murderbot LOOKS like the very picture of a goddamn cop. White and blond and rugged. Full of weapons. Extremely deadly. Literally a tool for the companies who cause all of this bullshit. But. despite that. It's still a person. It looks like an "enemy" it was made to BE an enemy but it's an individual who has made mistakes and fucked up and is MORE than the system it was created to uphold. Sometimes the enemy IS the enemy (the combat unit who kept using the system to hurt others, even when given the option not to), but sometimes it just seems like there's no other way out? There's just. There's a lot. Murderbot broke out of that system because it didn't want to kill people. It was freed from that system because it was so determined to *save* people. It is a good person, but everything about it is steeped with reminders of the system and the cruelties they commit. This is someone who looks like a cis white man and is saying NO to participating in that anymore, even when they're still met with fear by the people they helped to oppress. That's fucking crazy !!! It makes me want to eat glass!!!

Also we've got a white man unironically playing a BELOVED character who has no gender, uses it/its pronouns, is ace, and readily and immediately uses neopronouns for everyone it meets who uses them. Its appearance has no basis on its actual identity, and as a queer person that's what hits as special to me. But also fuckin Suck It default media.

I was thrown off by the casting at first too but. Man. The systemic symbolism won me right the fuck over I'm ngl

[oletus-writer]

Can I have Luchino (hunter), Wu, and Antonio with a s/o that’ll make the most wild dirty jokes and laugh their ass off about it? But if anything even slightly dirty actual happens they’ll get red in the face and look away or cover their eyes. They’re just like “THIS IS INAPPROPRIATE I REFUSE TO LOOK”

Sorry that this took a while - I’ve been getting a lot of requests, surprisingly. (Also I have written things I never thought I’d write. The nsfw keigan alphabet was nothing, but this? Not exactly a challenge but I had a lot of fun.)

Luchino (hunter), Wu Chang, Antonio x reader who makes inappropriate jokes but is actually shy

Warnings: nsfw themes

Luchino (hunter)

When he first met you, you had asked him how his penis worked, which surprised and amused him. I mean, it was nice not to have another shocked person, asking how it happened, but why the question?

‘Well… I have a hemipenis, which is the practical term for two penises, inverted inside my cloaca. A cloaca is a hole where animals use to urinate, defecate, and have sex with. This is common in reptiles, and, since I am half a lizard, it would make sense for me to - hang on. That’s not how you properly greet people, is it?’

Soon, Luchino got used to your jokes and even began to look forward to hearing them - it’s not everyday when someone cracks such crude jokes in the manor, let alone to a human lizard hybrid.

When the two of you started dating, he was hesitant to make any sexual advances in fear of you rejecting him because of his situation. However, when he did, your bashfulness first of all surprised him, then brought out a playful side to him.

‘Amore mio, what’s this? You’re shy? How cute. You’d be even cuter being pounded by me, no?’

Xie Bi’an

As the only person on the list that would feel slightly embarrassed to have heard those jokes, Bi’an hides it well. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t find it funny - you’ll hear some breathy laughter from the man.

‘You have quite the mind. Do you stay up late and think of these jokes?’

In a duo hunters match together, he was surprised when he began unbuttoning his shirt because of the heat and you turned red as a tomato. What were you embarrassed about? He was under the impression that you could not care less if he stood naked in front of you.

‘You’re quite red, do you have a fever? No? Then why are you blushing so much? Ah… if that’s the case, I shall button up.’

It doesn’t come as much of a problem when the two of you are dating, since Bi’an likes to take it slow and is more romantic than horny. However, when the time comes, he hopes you won’t be too shy.

Fan Wujiu

When you made your first joke, he was one of the people who audibly laughed - sometimes, he’d make similar jokes just to see Bi’an flustered.

‘Heh. You and I will get along, I think.’

He’s going to flirt at you, as a joke at first, and then, it kind of clicked. Wujiu liked you more than a toy, liked seeing your embarrassed expressions, but there was a pang of hurt when you began to avoid him.

‘You’re avoiding me? Come on, I’ll tease you less.’

After this, he was a bit avoidant - he stopped his touches and lessened his teasing remarks. Perhaps this absence made you reconsider your feelings towards the man?

Antonio

Finally there’s someone to match with his dirty brain. An unstoppable duo, the two of you are, a power couple. So it came no surprise when the announcement came that the two of you were official.

Romance with Antonio was a whirlwind, but a problem soon arose - you were too shy to have sex. When he discovered this, he too teased you relentlessly.

‘Why are you suddenly acting like this, songbird? You had no problem with traumatising Joseph, but won’t even look at my tits? They’re good tits, too, for a cadaver.’

Teasing remarks aside, he’ll do his best to be supportive, and would encourage some casual intimacy, such as touching your waist, sleeping in the same bed, etc. For you, he’ll take it as slow as you’d like, even though he’s itching to get a move on. Suppose that’s what masturbation is for.

‘Passero, would you like to sleep in my bed tonight? It feels awfully lonely without you. No pressure, though.’

[wolfertinger]

so I’ve never posted anything here before and I’m sorry if this is a jumbled mess.

I was a former fan of Salem a bit before I knew he was puppychan (ig formerly?) and I unfollowed him months back after finding out he was puppychan but before that whenever I’d see him post something I’d just feel off? if that makes sense.

originally I followed him bc I was unaware and was finding artists who’s art caught my eye to follow bc I had just rejoined tumblr after redoing my account since I joined back in 2019 but basically never used my account afterwards.

also just want to admit something even though I’m on anon that makes me feel horrible, for sometime I saw a bunch of nsfw furry artists draw animal genitalia (specifically penises) and assumed that was okay and such for sometime, even though internally it did make me feel uncomfortable and like something was wrong. of course I’ve changed now and unfollowed those artists but I still feel deep guilt for following and liking artists who drew that.

also I do apologise if this is considered unrelated to Salem or Wis

just something I wanted to say as I myself have Ocd and saw that it has been spoken about here since I noticed a lot of Nsfw furry artists (unsure if they associate with Salem) started drawing stuff like that on their anthro furry characters, including well known popular artists.

once again, apologies if I have derailed anything. I don’t mean this rudely or maliciously.

please do not let your moral obsessions, take control of you. callout/drama pages, are a nightmare for ocd, as it is easy to spiral, and think you are a terrible person, for something completely insignificant.

there is nothing you did, personally. you are not an awful or evil person, for engaging with people or things, that you can recognize as bad, later. what matters is, you are able to recognize it is bad, and apply it to the future.

again. if this page causes distress, mentally or psychologically. disengage. take time to yourself, instead. be constructive, and have a nice day. do not let your mind, overthink simple things.

[howlingday]

Arc’s Burgers.

May I get some more Nora as Linda Belcher please?

Best of Linda in Season 13

Bob and Linda Being A Power Couple

Jaune: Nora, this whole situation with Magnum is crazy.

Nora: Yeah, well, sometimes you have to fight crazy with crazy.

Jaune: Well, Magnum gets it from your side of the family.

Nora: You think I don't know that? Eheheheheheh~!

Jaune: What- What are you doing? Stop it.

Nora: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!

--------------------------------------------------

Jaune: AGH!

Nora: What? What is it?

Jaune: I... I had a bad dream. I think. I'm not sure.

Nora: Was it the dream about the grenade filled with penises?

Jaune: I... have never had that dream.

Nora: Oh, I have it all the time. There's just too many penises on that thing. Right? Anyway, get some sleep, Jaune. We got a big day tomorrow. Big day... full of... dreams coming...

Jaune: Right... Right, our dreams... Um, Nora, do you think- Oh, you're already asleep, aren't you?

Nora: What? A penis sniper rifle?

--------------------------------------------------

Nora: Okay, kids! Have fun fishing balls out of the sea, my little Moby Dicks~!

Jaune: Captain Ahabs.

Nora: What?

Jaune: Captain Ahab was trying to get the whale. Moby Dick would be the balls.

Nora: Don't be gross in front of the kids, Jaune.

--------------------------------------------------

Jaune: That was great!

Nora: Eh... You went a little high.

Jaune: Well, I think I nailed it.

Nora: Nah, you were too high.

Jaune: So? Go higher.

--------------------------------------------------

Nora: I mean, let's face it. We're probably gonna die here.

Jaune: Not helping, Nora.

Nora: But it won't be for a long, long time! And I wouldn't trade that for anything! (Kisses)

Jaune: (Chuckles) You want to die in our restaurant?

Nora: Yeah! Sixty years from now, we'll die inside, same time, crossing our eyes and sticking out our tongues.

Jaune: I think I'll try to smile so I don't scare the kids.