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So does anybody else ever think about how Loop felt the need to demonstrate that the party's deaths wouldn't have any effect on the loops. I know I do but that's besides the point. Anyway I don't think Loop actually needs to bathe, they just like to feel included.
#'but lucabyte didnt you already do a comic with this exact same message? that loop has potentially killed their party intentionally before?'#yes i did absolutely do that thank you for noticing. that is what the cannibalism comic is about. no that was not a metaphor. lol#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sifloop#isat siffrin#isat loop#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#lucabyteart#ill ramble elsewhere some other time. maybe in a text post. but. long and short of it: even if you assume the answer to 'how do they know'#is that in sasasap isa got frozen once. theres still the fact that the loops are from sif being too distressed. how far gone does a siffrin#have to be before they can witness a party member die and notice it has no effect. how does loop feel to have planned to kill the party#during act 3. why did they NEED to show sif that. are they trying to preemtively stop them from getting the idea in their head#that maybe that might work? when they're out of all other options? when they just get so frustrated and at wits end?#loop helps in subtle ways through the whole game. and in less subtle ways like begging sif not to use the dagger. and while yes the#overarching reason you need to learn that the loops are tied to sif is because you need to figure out wish craft.... loop doesn't know the#actual mechanics of the loops themselves. just what didn't work. the power of friendship. getting the final hit in. being perfect. etc...#and besides all that.. how did loop feel during that hangout. being so deceitful. especially since before the other shoe drops#sif is enjoying themselves. but they know what's coming the whole time.#as for: why bathing? its the obvious imagery for blood on their hands/washing/never being clean. and is a bit of an inversion of the other#piece i just drew with the other casual closeness and nudity being kind. this one is cruel instead.#anyway tag ramble over ill do a masterpost of all my fanwork with some directors commentary sometime i promise. since i know im often vague
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You said you wanted drawing requests, so... Fintan with braids in his hair? :3
(yes i am another fintan fan for you to deal with lol)
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inspired by @chainlxnk post…. sparklers…
#does he fw sparklers… im not even in fintan nation and i think yeah probably..#another fintan fan huh… should i just start collecting u guys atp /silly#clicks on u and drags u into my desktop folder labeled fintan fans#THANK YUO FOR DRAWING REQUEST!! it takes me a while sometimes but i promise i will get to all of them HAHA#keeper of the lost cities#fintan pyren#asked and answered
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Man it's weird to continuously grieve yourself, your own health, your ability to do things,
It's heartbreaking to go through the comics I've made about it
Im so increasingly desperate and hopeless, I need help badly but I also know there's no point because I have never once been given genuine help from a fucking doctor
The older I get and the longer I've dealt with this the more upset I am that the only "help" I have ever been offered is antidepressants, anxiety meds and telling me to get a different job or to listen to diet podcasts. I've waited over a year for an appointment to be told to be mindful about my nervous system malfunctioning
I have so many more problems than currently on paper because I know I don't have it in me anymore to do that fight again for things I know I won't get help for
#my current belief#as it has been for a while and only getting worse#is that i would have to be on my death bed before any medical professional took notice#and even then theyd be like#idk die#i just have no hope#no faith#and month by month my quality of life#my ability to anything#decreases#is it cynical#yeah#but i have spent a decade dealing with the medical system and been constantly fucking let down#i have been ill since i was 10#seeking answers and help since i was 14#and only partially got there#jays thoughts#disabled#chronic illness#spoonie#chronically ill#fibromyalgia#hEDS#cfs/me#middle of the night vents because im so annoyed sometimes
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hello :D please tell me more about your mezalian (is that how you spell it??) smalletho I will forever be indebted to you
(they are gorgeous I love them sm)
hey hi !! it would be my pleasure … (and I’ve been spelling it mezalean ??? but i have no idea LOL. there might be a canon spelling but i havent watched joels esmp1 since… probably since it ended. i will have to check sometime)
apologizing in advance because i will probably get very ramble-y!!
ummm. Oh god. How to start. Lets see. WELL. In this silly little au (i guess it has become a bit more than just me doodling designs LOL) in my head they have like this sort of zelink dynamic? obviously without all the zelda lore & stuff, just that kind of … okay forgive me I haven’t brushed up on my zelink lore for a good many years but. Like the princess and her personal knight that doesn’t really talk much sort of thing.
this made more sense in my head. But yeah. They have the vibes of zelink ? At least if i remember zelink right, I have a really bad memory :’) not exactly the same, i do think etho talks to joel (whereas if iirc link never really talks) - especially after getting to know him a bit - but just. they have the Vibes. You know?
I reckon Joel’s definitely very into sculpting in this au, maybe dabbles a little in painting - I imagine mezalea to be very heavy on art and expression in general. think you’d especially see lots of pottery and textiles all around the place. He probably also has an interest in some form of like. um. whats the word. Some sort of … fighting. lmao. Specifically thinking of fencing, i had this idea in my head that he’s watched Etho practice outside the palace at some point and is just absolutely fascinated and enamored. by both the practice and etho himself haha.
and for etho… talented swordsman? he is Not washed. i dont really have many ideas for his character in this au To be completely honest, mostly just of his personality. Although, I alsooo think he’s probably not actually from mezalea? I like to draw him with those pointy elf ears, and i think mezaleans are just humans. I cant remember if thats canon or not but um. mezaleans have human ears, so i’d imagine etho’s probably from like.. rivendelle? Is that. What it’s called. The elf guys? Are they elves??? Goodness I cant remember. Grimlands would make sense too since i THINK they’re kind of like. technical engineer guys? but i dont know what species they are um so ,,, yeah,,,,
i think joel’s probably a bit put off by etho at first, mostly just because he’s not super enthused about the idea of a personal guard, but also because the guys a bit odd, you know? but he’s also probably suuuper intrigued by him. he wants to figure this new guy out, and when they start talking a bit more, i think. They are both incredibly charmed by the other. head over heels? possibly.
most of my ideas of this au are just little scenes that are cute and silly but dont follow any main plot. I would love to write some one-shots of some of the ideas i have in the future, but as of right now im experiencing a bout of creative burnout and am busy with the holidays - spending time with family, so… not right now lol!
hopefully this is what you wanted,,,, i tend to get very ramble-y when talking about literally anything, so i do apologize for that haha, i am Not good at explaining things in simple ways, as i’ve said many a time before.
#sphynx asks!#sphynx rambles#i guess i’ll tag this as#smalletho#and#trafficshipping#for filtering#when explaining my thoughts on smalletho (or any ship for that matter) i always feel the need to clarify that um#being someone on the aroace + probably aplatonic spectrum#i always put a bit of that into my headcanon of characters#like in my brain they are never sexually attracted to each other or anyone else#and the relationships aren’t ever easily describable. they just exist as they are without a label.#maybe they kiss maybe they like each other but i never put them in any sort of established romantic relationship in my head#it Is my desire for connection and intimacy without the “rules” and lines between platonic and romantic attraction making itself known#because i don’t really. feel. either? I want to love someone but i am not sure what love entails. and i’d reckon that probably shows LOL#dude i could go on and on about how being aroace feels for me and how i project that onto characters. its honestly. fascinating to me lmao?#i find the topic of love and attraction and friendship and connection and intimacy just incredibly interesting as a whole though LOL#sometimes i feel like some alien (not in a bad way!! ..most of the time) looking in on human life like… how very curious this is! wow!#Honestly i could probably talk about anything for hours. i just really like thinking about things and sharing my thoughts#unfortunately im also terrified of sharing those thoughts and being perceived in general ! social anxiety at its finest here!#i spent the whole day working on this answer lmao. which really shows just how much i struggle putting things into words#and then POSTING those words? i have to reread what ive written a billion times to make sure i don’t sound stupid or insane#and even then i still worry. so at this point its just become.. post and dont look at tumblr for the next while to let the anxiety subside#anyway um.! Yeah.#im going to sleep now. Thumbs up.
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i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself
#maiora garrulates#the maiora overthinks the process of writing dialogue saga continues!!!!!!!#im so tired. i have been overthinking this shit in circles i have not been making any progress in any which way lmao!#im bitching and moaning for funsies this is not that serious in the Grand Scheme Of Things i just wanna improve at my fav thing#and ❤️ Unfortunately ❤️ my favorite thing in the world involves learning MY MOST HATED *NEMESIS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! verbal communication. ew#words are fun! i LOVE words! toys!!!!! im using words right now and i didn't combust!!!!! wow look at that!!!!!!!!!!!!!#putting words in SEQUENCE? multiple times?? filtering THOUGHTS into SENTENCES???? sentences that a character would or wouldn't SAY???#AND THEN THERE'S ANOTHER CHARACTER SOMETIMES???? AND THAT BITCH ALSO HAS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS????? AND THEY ALL HAVE PERSONAL IDIOLECTS#AND TONES THAT S U P P O S E D L Y ARE IMPLICATED BY MANNERISMS AND VERBAL HABITS AND CIRCUMSTANCES (AND THERE'S WRONG ANSWERS! ALSO!!)#AND THEY'RE IN A CONTEXT!! AND THEY'RE INTERACTING WITH EACH OTHER AND INFLUENCING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THE CONVERSATION COULD VARY GIVEN ENERGY LEVELS WHETER OR NOT SOMEONE'S FOOT IS FALLING ASLEEP THE F U C K I N G WEATHER#“oh dialogue is easy just say it out loud to yourself until it 'sounds normal' ^^”#screaming crying throwing up NONE OF THIS IS INTUITIVE TO MEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!#ok dramatics over its out of my system! for now!!!#this is all easily explained bc i just. draw a lot more than i talk to people. so like. OBVIOUSLY i have more practice drawing#so drawing comes natural! talking does not! subsequently dialogue is Hard! No FUCKING Shit Sherlock!!!!! (affectionate)#so yeah. im using y'all (the tumblr void) as practice! hi!!! words at you!!!!!!!!!!#so yeah thanks for baring with me while passing by my corner of the internet#i do love self indulgence this is fun check out my navel gazing actually no do not look at my belly button#anyway i just think this is mildly interesting. some of my writer buds have the same “not good enough” allergy towards visuals#but they use it to be mean2me >:( same bitch that “omg i cant i suck at drawing i can't do this-” does the “uhm. just write? lol.” 2 meeee#we could have peace and love on planet earth and a common experience and yet you KICK miette for being bad at words!!!1!!! </3 heartbreak!!#what the fuck was i talking about even#oh yeah. perfectionism within creatives i guess. LMAO JK i am talking about NOTHIN!!!!G i am just putting Words Out Here ehehehehehe#its practice >;)c#all this bc ive been doodling comics for myself again and im V!! PROUD OF THE ART!!!! wanna share- but DIALOGUE!*⚡sfx!!*....... so! options#a) leaving it blank. no there are NO microphones in the budget. b) leaving blank *balloons* so that the Rythm is there. implied convo!!!#c) ...doing it badly. (tragic)(heartwrenching)(teeny tiny bruise 2 the ego) *dramatic single tear cleches fists * its the only way.........#...we shall see! literally none of this is all that serious i am procrastinating!! <3 playing with my tuoys!!!!!!!! silly time!!!#/all lh! am reaching 30 tags so that is all for THIS episode of the maiora bitches about dialogue saga thank you for joining me!!okilyBuhBY
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*starts laughing nervously* i'm not the type to usually let my drafts (20) and asks (14) pile up..... but alas..... this sickness really got me huh............ how d'y'all not stress out about this tf,,,, i usually answer things quickly but lately i cannot,,,,, y'all are so strong for not having a nervous breakdown at bigger numbers than this fdkgjhghd this is the most ive had hoarded since, well, ever.....
#&&. ivy speaks.#my health has just been terrible LOL#its gone extreme hospitalizing back pain -> repeat -> repeat -> deadly cold -> gastro -> awful cold -> awful cold / all while dealing with#extreme blood loss every time i fucking sneEZE because my nose bleeds (caused by a blood disorder) are Extreme and Horror Movie Worthy#i JUST WANNA DO THINGS I ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#SCREAMS#IM SO FUCKING FRUSTRATEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD#blood tw#also i dont need more sympathy or anything yall have been Amazing Gems and ily all#i just need to scream and rant into the void sometimes#im hitting a breaking poooooooooiiint#i didnt even get to do anything for the holidays with ANYONE because i was sick#and its gonna be the same thing tmrr on my bday like bro........#ALSO I LOVE GETTING ASKS AND THREADS SO PLEASE DONT STOP THEY MAKE ME HAPPY#I NEED THAT SERATONIN#IM JUST NOT GOING TO ANSWER VERY QUICKLY
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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pick 8 pictures from pinterest for standstill!! (a moodboard)
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heyyy so im actually really awful at moodboards but i do save pictures of things that inspire standstill so heres some of those! sorry they arent like aesthetically cohesive. standstill talks about a lot of different themes all neatly tied together w the thin thread of a romance plot so sometimes it's hard to describe those in a way that feels coherent, even in picture form. hopefully u get the idea though đź‘Ť
#jade answers#Anonymous#straud asks#dogs/rabbits are thematic for vlad and brie specifically. when i see dogs or rabbits i think of them#bc it's about... the power play... it's about... the switching... wink... sometimes you're the dog and sometimes you're the rabbit#birds are more thematic for their life circumstance than Them as people. the birds are more about the journey#the trees remind me of them too... specifically the picture i included. bc it has underwent a process known as inosculation#which is when two trees growing in proximity begin to merge together into one tree#run down trailers bc those are where most of brie's childhood memories are. notice the forest surrounding the trailer#forest too are special in standstill... there are 2 posts so far of caleb and lilith traversing the forest when they arent supposed to#vs vladislaus having a genuine fear of going into the forest (hasnt been shown yet on my blog but it's written and comes up soon)#vs breanna not only going into the forest but being genuinely unafraid of it unlike lilith and caleb who enter it with fear#and vlad who doesnt enter the forest at all bc of his fear#the picture of the red woman swimming in blackness. almost like she's drowning in water. it evokes the image of human vlad#who stood on the dock overlooking the red bloodied water. and even more so the image of vlad as he was transformed#since he was lying on his back. and lastly that bible quote is included bc it's a quote vladislaus repeats in his head often#i think? i took out the scenes where he says that quote repeatedly bc i decided his compulsions are mainly internal but#it is an important quote for him nonetheless and i think about it very often while im writing#if you actually read all that im making out with you sloppy style
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I would love to listen to your podcast (if you wanna have one) about anything, but something about languages intrigues me. Please, tell me more : )
had to think for a second about what this was about I'm guessing it's my Nopony In This Country Is Pronouncing Przewalski Correctly and now listen..... I have no more to tell you because the like. Concept of languages and within that phonology (the study of the patterns of sounds in a language and across languages) is so wide you wouldn't have enough of a life to say everything about it. Unless you got one thing in mind. But I'm Flattered. Idk if I'd be much of a podcast guy I love visual stimuli. shan't lie I've had for months the idea to do a. Franco-Cantabrian Archeological iceberg... with shit like....... Fontainebleau "water breaking" carving... the RĂ©seau Clastres Only Know Depiction Of [Animal]..... stuff of the sort. but oh well. FLATTERED.... maybe one day. Podcast ideas anyone.
#every few months someone in the patho fandom whos been there a while seems to realize the KH of Khatange or Khodo Khara or even Burakh is#not pronounced K but instead HH and idk if thats because i had the game in russian audio or because i spent hours on the different#Steppe Language pages but im always surprised this is new to some people. like well yeah its the x letter. mostly i dont understand like#not checking the pronounciation if youre unsure. the russian x is not hard to find audio from. its a little like youtubers who go “im not#even gonna try to pronounce this one XD''. but also im glad more people get hashtag aware because i think phonology is such a fantastic#thing to be interested in so. yayyyy.#it just kinda sometimes feels like. A great sense of incuriosity and lack of drive to learn. possibly from fear at a new foreign language.#but above all I'm truly glad more people are hashtag realizing hashtag finding it because truly with the internet pronounciation info#has never been so easy to find. even in english resources. godspeed you!!!!Language learner. Etc.#the wiki has every name (of characters + of places) and every steppe word written in both latin & cyrillic letters by the way that way you#can find what the cyrillic letter of a sound youre unsure of looks like and look it up :D it helped me a lot when i had to find more words#for ATA. good times#tldr it just makes sense To Me when confronted to a phoneme/sound youre unsure the pronounciation of to like. immediately look it up.#so im kinda baffled that ppl may go months being unsure. its not like cyrillic is like. hard to parse its as straightforward as other stuff#allô (answers)#anonymous#meiri podcast guy when after all. look at all that yapping
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I once left 23+ asks in this box and I haven’t seen them all
Sorry kids! Me and Mark are a little busy with our lessons and activities sometimes, so we don't really get to answer everything quickly!
Yeah..we love every ask though! :}
#yk i have school n a life outside of this right#i really do love asks! i enjoy every single ask!#and somrtimes i save asks which have potential to be a longer ask for later cuz often times im too busy 2 make long asks#i do feel bad that somrtimes i take a while 2 answer asks#but sometimes im just too tired or busy for it#maybe ur asks r in the queue too! currently i have 5 posts queued and it post once a day#please dont demand me 2 answer all your asks quickly. i really dont appreciate it /lh#i love asks though!! please dont take this wrongly. i absolutely adore your asks n i love it when ppl send alot of asks#i just dont really appreciate being rushed 2 do it yk?#slash lighthearted btw. sorry anon ik it can feel annoying when ppl dont answer ur ask for a long period of time#but yeah please be patient with me <3#oop im rambling now ill stop loll this got long#ykw im not even gonna queue this ill just post it rn#ashur gharavi#mark and friends#an answer for an ask#maf#twomp#ask blog
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i don't have a continuous/relentless internal monologue in the way people usually describe it but i am always thinking about something
#if i'm not disossiated or just plain zoned out then i'm maladatively daydreaming as an alternative to info dumping#or my brain finds itself subconsciously yet purposefully poking at things that makes me anxious every time i calm down#sometimes ill scroll through hours worth of my dash then realise i wasn't paying attention ot any of that#and i've also now gone and given myself an anxiety attack because of what i was thinking about. great#what's worse is that 9/10 it isn't anything that has any real substance it's some stupid hyperfixation that rules my emotional state#and therefore is also one of the emotional centres of my anxiety. so it's not even like i can express it#at least like ten times a day i think the phrase 'get out of your head'#amd i say 'usually describe it' as in other nd people seem to have a descriptive internal monologue#that keeps up with everything they're doing or at least takes in things from their environment. even other people's stims#directly correlate to things that they hear regularly. mine doesn't work like that mine's like a stream of AUGH it just happened again#i couldn't think of the descriptive word i wanted and turned away from my phone and started thinking about something else#i was thinking about earlier and that ive apparently been continuously formulating while i typed this#(<- wondering why people using the 1.20 “we're not so different. not anymore” sam and john scene as evidence#for their fundamental similarities in their characters and agencies bother me so much. the answer is that once again#people do not pay attention to the progression of sam's character as a line of events relating to and constantly affecting each other#that scene is the recognition of a cathartic breach in a previous fundamental difference and of understanding#rather than a fundamental similarity. there presently is and will continue to be fundamental differences between the circumstances#of mary's death vs jessica's death from the grieving's pov namelyyy their respective relationships with azazel#+ how their ideals of normalcies work alongside the familial ideal)#and even now i cant stop thinking i cant stop i cant stop i cant STOP. i hate these periods of brief hyper-awareness about it#my head breaches the water and im like Hey these waves weren't so loud before. whatever#&
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my legs been hurting a lot lately >_< the pain is strangely only in One Leg these days? walking isnt a lot better but at least i can lean on my left leg and it wont hurt ?? euhggg . still sucks. IN OTHER BETTER NEWS I PASSED ALL (but 1) OF MY CLASSES<3333 :]]] i was so scared id have to do a repeat class but i did it!!!! i only gotta do a big pe thing in march and thats ittt i still have half a year to go but im so happy i did it THANK U PSIONIC WARRIORS FOR UR SUPPORT!!!!!
#i feel like the answer to 'does walking hurt' is always 'no' unless im the one asking the question#No it shouldnt hurt BUT. youre fat and depressed and lack excercise.#even though depression has never made your legs hurt before. even though it hurt while when you were going to the gym.#guess its cus ur fat!!!! ok man ??? even if its bcbof that it STILL hurts im STILL in pain#and ibuprofen only helps so much ..#idk man i feel like theres a thousand excuses for walking to hurt in my specific case#its normal because im My Age? Ok? none of my classmates have pain walking .. they have no problem running around#it sucks that after 5 minutes of walking theyre still having fun abd can run and shit#and im. already over!!!! im already finished!!! 5 minutes!!!!#stairs are hell. walking is hell. sometimes even just moving my legs hurts#but its normal because im Fat and Depressed and Anxious and Never Excercise and 18! So its ok!!#its fine that i cant even handle going to and from school on foot without sitting. its awful. i hate it. eugh#i have eyes i can see its not normal
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WAIT! WAIT WAIT! I'm getting notifications in the browser tumblr again??? It's happening yall, it's happening!!! IT'S HAPPENING! MY TUMBLR BROWSER IS FIXING ITSELF THANK THE STAAARRRSSS!!!
#aria rants#ive been using tumblr browser less cuz of how Broken its been for me for DAYS now. it wont show ANY notifications#theres a delay with the posts (id have to click the post now button twice cuz itd say theres a problem whenever i try it the first time)#theres so many troubles when it comes to my dash. i cant fast reblog easily cuz of how sometimes theres an Error or wtv#and then itd ALWAYS unlike a post i like and id have to Stare at the heart button for a good second to know if it Stays Liked#dont even get me started on the troubles with replying on posts. oooohhhh gooodness it was BAD. id type out a pretty long answer#and then click enter only for it to disappear into the void cuz there was a Problem apparently??? so then id have to type it out again#all while regretting that i kept forgettin to just copy my answer before clicking enter (its a habit though...) so i can just paste it agai#and THEN it wont even go through during my 2nd attempt (in which i thankfully remembered to copy my answer) so id have to paste#it AND TRY AGAIN and istg it sometimes takes like 5 tries. this hellsite has been the most Broken it can be for DAYS and ive been#so o<-< about it but i continued to persevere cuz now im back to using my phone for games a lil more actively so i cant use it for tumblr#but finally... FINALLY!!!! NOTIFICATIONS! ITS RECOVERING YALL! ITS FINALLY HAPPENING! ITS FIXING ITSELF!!! FINNNAAALLYYY!!!!!!
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one time i tried that "mentally ask yourself if anyone else is in there" thing & i didn't get a Direct response but the song stuck in my head (which i Do Not control) would change and the new repeating lyric would function as a response to whatever question i asked. so that was kind of fucked up & i don't know if i'm supposed to do anything about it. it just kinda sounds ridiculous to say "there are entities in my head attempting to communicate with me via song lyrics"... i realize now i don't actually have a specific question i just wanted to tell someone about this sorry
THAT'S. HOW IT GOES SOMETIMES... yeah i have no idea what's up with that either brains are weird
#answered#+ while i get why it sounds ridiculous that IS like . entirely possible thats whats going on#to be clear im not saying this to say it is or isnt plurality specifically (thats up to you to figure out and decide)#im more trying to make the point that it sounding ridiculous doesnt make it less possible if that makes sense#plurality as a whole is weird and weird stuff like that happens all the time#+ tbh there isn't really anything you're inherently *supposed* to do? what to do is a case by case sorta deal if that makes sense#but if you want my advice i'd recommend seriously trying to talk even if it feels silly and going from there#wont neccessarily for sure get any useful information but hey. maybe you will.#it *is* also fine if u don't end up figuring out whats going on. sometimes u just simply *are*#shit can be hard to figure out especially with how much grey area there is. so you don't really *have* to figure it out#in hindsight i do think my og post lacked nuance in this regard which i do apologize for ^^;;#anyway i dunno whatevers going on and whatever happens i hope youre doing well and having a nice day. thumbs up#yknow i couldve put this shit in the actual post... tags are a game and i'm either winning or losing depending on your definition#voidposting
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hi!!! i just wanted to tell you that i just finished reading your qab series and oh my god!!!!! (warning for rambling ahead)
i love so much about this series its amazing in so many differebt ways like the format??? exquisite. delightful. the way how everythibg is laid out it just looks so???? cool?? especially like the tumblr section in one of the newest chapters.
also also also i just love the way how you show all the views everyone has inside the story because its so realistic!! the way how theres so many conflicting views but also people misunderstanding what each source says yet also completely overreactionary responses its just so good!!! god im so insane about it
anyway sorry for the very rambly ask i just really loved everything youve done with qab!!!!
hello!!! if you started qab recently then you probably never saw the old format, and... good, lol. im glad the current formatting is reading well!
ive been a lurker for most of my internet career and i think internet culture and internet group dynamics are suuuper interesting. it's the sort of thing id go into sociology for and then write lots of papers on, except ew... writing papers... so instead i think ive just been channeling all of that energy into qab. i also feel like a lot of authors don't bother supporting multiple conflicting povs? and that's their choice and i get it, it isn't easy, but i think it's such a waste to not show why/how people come into conflict with each other. that's like most interesting part!!
thanks for the ask!!! hopefully someday soon ill find the spare time to finish those last two chapters
#qab#writing#answered asks#sometimes i meet a normal person and im like wait you never perused r/incels or r/redpill? just to see what was going on over there? what a#and they never have#none of them!!#those communities are RIGHT THERE and we've all been told about how awful and terrible they are and you're not gonna go look?? not even a l#(actually those subreddits might be banned now it's been a while since ive checked in)
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im so excited to go to therapy for the first time ever on thursday! shes gonna be like well whats your problem nd im gonna be like "well. y'see. there are bugs in my legs and the only way to get them out is through stabbing. lol. lmao even." and shes gonna be all "woah! youre crazy insane! i am going to kill you now." and ill just be "ok. lol." and then i die. badly.
#nervous whats nervous im not nervous#oh yeah wait#bel rings#ANYWAYS#matbe ill finally find out why i constantly feel like there are bugs crawling under my skin#<- thinks they know why and is scared if the answer#also kinda funny i guess i really wanna get one of those beetle elbow pit tattoos cayse theyre cool but i feel like having a bug tattoo#while my mind insists that im covered in bugs crawling all over me and theyre in my legs and my arms and my back and my face nd theyre gonna#eat my brain?#probably not in my best interest rn lmao#oo wait#tw bugs#tw self harm#im gonna put thise just in case#anyways half of me like actually want it to be *soemthing* so i have a REASON for why i feel like im losing my mind#the other half thinks nothing is wrongs and im being overdramatic#like i think nobody really believes me when i say i feel like im being watched or that theres shadow people just outside of my vision#like even when they tell me they believe me its like what if theyre just humoring me yknow#like to the point im not even sure if i believe myself tgat theres something wrong even tho IM the one EXPERIENCING IT and it all feels REAL#i think its cause i phrase everything as a joke so much that when i say crazy stuff everyome thinks im joking#like when i genuinely believed i was psychic for like a year or so (sometimes i still wonder....)#i forgot where i was goung with this lmao ill shush up now
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