#sometimes boxing myself in actually makes my brain more creative ???

[here2bbtstrash]

With a jihope x reader etl throuple … does the plot really matters? LMAO It’s already hot af 🤤 honestly all the options are soooo good and I can’t wait for this one 😍😍😍😍

eeeeee jaz!!! i'm so glad you're excited because honestly i am too 🥰 this has been a fun exercise for my creativity as well, and i'm excited to write WHATEVER y'all end up choosing!! i hope y'all are enjoying the chaos of me trying this new idea hehe 🥺

[its-time-to-write]

i know now it’ll pass - ch. 5

I think these last two chapters are my favorite🥲 Lmk with you all think of the series bc I crave validation!!! No such thing as too many comments🥺🥺

still miss you

It’s the worst. You’re working in Manchester of all places, and you really wish that you were somewhere else. But they paid the most and offered housing and were able to hire you within two and a half weeks of your breakup. Higgins wrote a glowing letter of recommendation, and just like that, you were gone. 

You’re going to miss your flat, you realize. You don’t even know who bought it. Doesn’t matter. They were willing to pay twice what it was worth as long as they were the offer you accepted.

It’s good that Jamie won’t see you around. Won’t have any lingering reminders. It’s good that you’re the one who ended things, because he won’t be able to blame himself for it. (He probably still will, you think, but you put that thought in a tiny box and put it on a shelf far away.) 

Jamie doesn’t see you, but you see him. You see him in photos on the wall and hear him in the local voices and wish you could have just accepted his love for a little while longer.

You watch every single one of his games and cheer when he makes a goal. Or a pass. Or anything, really. He’s started running like Roy Kent did at Chelsea, like he’s angry at the grass. At least his anger is channeled into something productive.

Your new flat faces the sun, and you’re on the steps all the time. It’s not standard housing, it’s a real actual flat that Man City bought for you. It’s not big but it’s clean and yours and has a real, actual garden in the back. You think that you can manage this until you meet your neighbors and realize you’re really and truly fucked and the universe hates you.

You met the husband, Simon, on one of your sleepless nights. It was still relatively early, just 1:30, but you could tell that you weren’t going to get much sleep. Dr. Sharon transferred you to someone in Manchester, but now you were awake for different reasons. Jamie’s face kept haunting you so you kept your eyes wide open. Some mornings you’d wake up under the weighted blanket and think that it was him, in your groggy haze. Then you’d blink a couple times and remember that you’d broken up.

So you don’t sleep much. And now you’re on the porch with a cup of the tea Jamie’s mum recommended so long ago, the strong smell steaming into the air. As you sit down on your chair (you have a chair now) you hear a soft voice say, “Lovely night, isn’t it?” You nod and look over to see your neighbor sitting on his chair as well on the lawn. 

“Sometimes I like to come out here and look at the stars,” he continues. “Can’t always see very many of them, but the fresh air is nice. I’m Simon, by the way.”

You nod again, give him your name, and sip your tea.

“Is that Sleep Plus by Twinings?” he asks. “I only ask because my wife swears by it. Has a cuppa every single night, so I’m well-acquainted with the smell.”

You smile. “Yeah, it is. A friend gave it to me. Said his mum loved it too. I have trouble sleeping, so…”

Simon nods. “Georgie, that’s my wife, used to have the same problem. Too many things on her mind, she said. But she’s been alright ever since we’ve been married. She says that it wasn’t really a chemical problem in her brain, but more the fact that she was always worried. Took me years to show her I wasn’t someone she needed to be worried around. But, I proved myself and here we are.” He chuckles fondly. “She’s upstairs snoring loud as can be.”

You sit in silence a while longer before Simon gets up and says, “Lovely to meet you. I’ll have Georgie invite you ‘round for tea sometime.”

Tea with your neighbors sounds wonderful until you walk into their flat and see pictures of Georgie’s son on the walls and on tables and on the fridge and in basically every possible space she can find. Simon mentions how he researched creative things to do with photographs because it “helps Georgie when she misses him,” and you know for an absolute fact that the universe has a personal hatred for you.

It has to, because why else would you have unwittingly gotten a flat right next to Jamie’s parents?

You force yourself to behave as normally as possible and thank them for a lovely meal. Georgie grabs your arm on the way out and says you ought to come over again some time. She hugs you and tells you she didn’t have a sparkle in her eyes at your age, either. She knows what it’s like and maybe you can have tea together tomorrow night, just the two of you. Talk about it and maybe you don’t have to struggle as much as she did.

You don’t smile at her, but she doesn’t mind. Georgie reaches out a hand to wipe away a tear and says, “Oh love. It’ll be alright. You’re not alone all the way out here. I miss my son something terrible and I can see you’re missing someone too. You’ve already made me feel better and I hope I can help you the way you’ve helped me. Good to have someone young around here.”

She’s smiling, and you realize she and Jamie have the same soft eyes.

Georgie hugs you tight again before you can bolt out the door. “You’re not alone, sweetheart,” she whispers. “You’ll be alright.”

—

Simon and Georgie are a godsend. Sure, you have to suffer their son staring down at you from his various portraits in the house, but you can talk to them. They’re like parents with the way Georgie hugs you and Simon is always bringing over excess baked goods. They’re always available to talk and listen, to laugh and sometimes, to cry.

Georgie tells you about her ex-husband one nights and it’s enough to make you sob. You tell her about your ex-boyfriend (the bad one) through gasps while she rubs your back and murmurs, “I’m right here, love.”

“How were you able to be with Simon?” you ask once you’ve calmed down. “I just can’t understand that. I’ve tried, I really have, but I was just waiting for him to get tired of me. And I’m not positive he ever would have.”

Georgie thinks for a moment. “I think I finally realized that James was not the standard for all men. He and Simon were very different, and Simon always showed me he respected me as a person. It took years of that, but here we are.” She laughs. “He’s a very patient man. Not many would put up with me and my Jamie.”

Jamie was patient. And funny. And the exact opposite of your ex. He’s confident with a touch of arrogance, but it’s the kind of confidence that’s contagious as opposed to oppressive. He’s sweet and thoughtful, and does things without expecting something in return. He likes to make you smile just for the sake of it, and you like to do the same.

You’re shaken from your reverie by Georgie saying, “That reminds me, Jamie’s coming into town this weekend. You should come over to meet him.”

She and Simon share a not-so-subtle glance that means you should date our son and become our actual daughter-in-law because you’re basically already ours, and that’s when you decide you’re going to be horribly ill.

“I’d love to,” you say out loud. “I’ll check my calendar.”

Table of Contents

[system-of-a-feather]

God PTSD is insane

So like, in the new apartment I have a den thats the bird room / office / autism room / our space w/ the birds

And a while ago I came to the epiphany that I really dont need a traditional office because the only reason Id get one is because its a neutral "safe space" from childhood; ie I could always just be behind a desk and disappear from everything and be mostly safe

And thats evolved in an unhealthy manner sometimes where I just spend more time than Id like just sitting behind a desk dissociating

And so I figured I could instead make the room more suited for actually meeting my needs and relaxing properly and thus make it an "autism room" more or less

But now that Im here, the idea of not having a desk has me so deeply on edge and wanting to have a small panic attack / impulse buy a desk and I'm just here like

"... its really THAT deeply rooted huh"

I still want to challenge myself to not at least have a traditional office at all in here but just to meet me where Im at I might just like... get a small one idk

I honestly really dont want to get a proper desk and a proper chair (outside of trauma brain, I really dont want to have to sit in a chair in my own home) so Im gonna see if my brain calms tf down when my prop up desk arrives and/or with a small like coffee / kids table arrives

But man does my brain not have the groundedness to have creative thoughts and let them stick enough. I think I might make a boxed off area and this and that and I have IDEAS but my brain is like "no scared for no reason need place to hide"

But man not having a desk should not be this distressing man hhhh

God damn did my childhood fuck our brain up even if weve gotten way better

[unhinged-summer-fun]

Thank you so much for common grounds! This is such a wonderful story and I'm thrilled with every update. Thanks for sticking with it and us!

I saw a reblog for questions for writers and I wanted to ask how did you come up with concept for CG and if you ever had had a creative block what do you do to power through or recharge?

Hello!! Thank you so much, I’m so glad you’re enjoying common grounds!! (Sorry about that cliffhanger last week 😬) the answer to your question below the cut~

Well the concept came about when I got on a post-finale voice call with my buddy (this was before I knew there was a burgeoning fandom so we only had two brains’ worth of insanity to work off of) and I said “I wanna write something” and they just said “boxing??? Sol is dad?? Maybe Qimir was injured? He has a weird relationship to his name?” and I’d already been angling toward making sure the Acolyte had a coffee shop au (as a fandom biological niche that needed filling) and I blacked out and had three chapters

I had a bit of a creative block called I Can’t Stop Playing Assassin’s Creed and another one called I’m Moving Across The Country By Myself which sucked to be in the middle of but in my opinion you gotta look at writer’s/creative blocks as like, unskippable side quests. You just gotta figure out what your brain is telling you needs to get done whether it be school or social efforts or Ezio Auditore or simply taking care of yourself. Sometimes I def struggle with finding places to take breaks, but listening to your body will help your body (and mind!) listen to you. Sometimes you just gotta take care of the meat suit so the think-meat has time to install updates.

One thing I’ll also say is never discount a single creative idea. Even if you’re like “this is actually the worst” it still counts as a guidepost of where you don’t want to go next. Initially I was going to have Idise be a fully forgettable NPC type OC, and I wrote quite a bit of the fic with that mentality, but then when I realized how cool it’d be if she was important, it made my storytelling a lot more intentional and I felt it flowed easier. You don’t need to find your way out of the maze on the first try. Let your mind wander into dead ends and explore where things CAN go until you realize where they SHOULD go.

That said, there are often times where the spirit is willing but the think-meat is not and you just have to be patient and kind to yourself. Fatalistic determinations on your self-worth are common in this period, so fight the urge to light the world on fire just because things feel bad right this moment. Everything you made before does not merit punishment for the supposed sin of stalled creativity, and neither do you. The more understanding you are of your creative mind, the more it will want to please you in turn.

I know that’s a bit philosophical and long-winded, but such is the price to pay when asking me about writing LOL

Thank you so much anon! And if yall have any other questions pls ask~

[topazshadowwolf]

hello there :D

I’ve never done an ask before so here it goes.

to my favorite creator on tumblr!

I have always had this theory that Dust and Horror are very fidgety and often need to do something with their hands, I have always thought that sometimes Horror, Dust and Error (I know Error isn’t in this story but he is in mine) would just sit by the fire and do their own fidgety crafts, Dust does origami since it is delicate and takes time distracting him from his thoughts, Horror likes to cross stitch, and Error knits. I was just wondering if they do anything like that, maybe a fidgety craft like that could help Dust with his nerves and baby depression (it helps me :D).

Lastly, I saw someone mention the boys coming out to Nightmare, what are your head cannons on their sexualities?

I love your work and can’t wait to read more, take your time and have fun. And here, a sketch, Gooptales and Sky children of the light

Hello!

It's okay, I honestly get nervous sending in asks myself. Welcome to my ask box, and feel free to send in anything anytime. I try to answer most of them I recieve.

And what an honor to have such a title! Thank you!

I love your idea! It is nice for the boys to have hobbies to occupy their minds and hands other than mischief! Really, what you shared is a pleasant scene I could see playing out.

For HNBD, though, it would be mostly Killer with his whittling once he takes up that hobby. Dust just likes reading, and is good at sitting still and letting his mind drift off into space adventures in his book. Maybe one day, he will try writing one. But right now, he just would rather read. Horror, with his hunting that he will start, likes leather working as not being wasteful extends to more than food to him. To him, using 100% of an animal he kills is how he honors and respects the creatures that sustain him. Cross likes training, gaming, and occasionally sketching and journaling. As for the Growing Up

GoopTales offshoot, well, the boys do join clubs which will kind of answer that. Cross joins track and field as he stays fairly active. Horror doesn't join on at the school, Nightmare helps him find a hunters club, and he also decides to be a boy scout. He's an outdoors kind of guy. Killer ends up joining the drama club and taking such classes. He finds a love for Shakespeare, and it makes Nightmare so happy to hear him in his room practicing his lines. Plays are perfect for him, but he can't read them while sitting. Reading has been difficult for him since his soul was mutated, but since lines are split up, and it is meant to be read aloud, with voices, he can focus on it. As for Dust, he didn't want to join any at first, but Killer kept dragging him along. Eventually, he slips away one day and finds the chess club... he also finds out about the creative writing club and joins both since they meet on different days.

I honestly don't feel like discussing that, sorry. Just know, my main ship is Soriel, and if I see a Sans, I want to give them a Toriel, and if I see a Toriel, they should have a Sans. That's the way my brain is programmed. I do actually have a Toriel picked out for Dream. But trying to not spill all my Soriel headcanons all over the UTMV too quickly. XD (After all, there is FuzzyNight, then my fics I am slowly writing when in romance moods: The HouseKeeper for Killer and Soul Fire Blues for Dust. I think that's enough for now)

What an adorable drawing! Thank you so much for sharing this! I will have to add it to my collection of art! I love seeing them following Nightmare like little ducklings. It warms my heart. And love the cape you gave Nightmare!

[neil-neil-orange-peel]

I never really know quite what to say on this day; I normally just end up repeating myself. I've written fanfic for a lot of Rik Mayall's bastards, and I help run the Rik and Ade Fest, and I was editor of Scumbag Monthly for a long time - but all of these things come with a level of detachment from the man himself. Even the Rik zines we made especially for 9th June were like that.

I'd spend so long in the run up making the zines - and chasing after people to make sure they'd actually submit the pieces they'd said they would - that, when publication day came, the main things that stood out to me about those zines were what was missing and which of the pages I'd made looked a bit naff versus which ones were acceptable. I think - I hope - those zines had an impact on other people, that they made people emotional, but for me releasing them was more akin to ticking a box. It's not that I wasn't proud of them, but I'd been working on them for months in advance. I knew them inside out. It's not that I didn't mean the words I wrote, but I'd read and reread them so many times by 9th June - as well as the words everyone else had written. I wasn't going to get the emotional hit because I was the one doling that out to everyone else. Does that make sense?

For a significant portion of time, Rik Mayall took up a significant portion of my brain matter. It made sense: this was the first fandom I'd ever been properly active in, I'd made friends here, I'd started writing again, and then we were thrown into an international pandemic where there wasn't much else to do but go insane, one way or another. I've said before how I'll always be grateful to Rik for re-sparking my creativity. There's a domino effect that started with me first watching Bottom, which eventually led to me switching my entire uni direction around to pursue creative writing.

For the last year or so, things have been different. We're all multifaceted people, each with a wealth of contradictory and complimentary interests. There are other people and other interests that vye for the top spot in my brain these days.

That said, and the entire point of this bit of waffling being: I still love Rik Mayall. And I say that knowing how superficial it sounds, and I say it without worrying whether I still will in another 5 years - because I know I will. He was marvellous, and hilarious, and sexy. He made it feel okay to be a bit weird, okay to be a bit mad; he made you want a spot on whatever wave of excitement he was riding, like the world really was just waiting for you to live in it. He was human, and he was flawed, and he was bloody stupid sometimes, but that didn't stop him from leading a comedy revolution and making the world that bit brighter.

Rik should have had longer on the earth. The fact he's gone - and for 9 years now - will always be incredibly unfair to him and his loved ones. The rest of us are just blessed that, to paraphrase a certain spotty prick, we still have his poems. So long as he keeps us laughing, Rik will still be here in some way.

So, once again, here's to our eternal Lord of Misrule: Rik Mayall! ❤️

[rikiblues]

close your eyes

featuring. nct na jaemin x fem!oc contents. college!au, romance, fluff, banter, literal sleeping together

track. teddy bear, nct dream word count. 2612

note. a submission for a writing event by decelis_acvdemy on wattpad.

"You," Jaemin announces, "work entirely too hard. You skipped movie night for homework!"

Jiwon looks up tiredly at him. "You do realize I'm working on a deadline here," she deadpans. "Tell me how you expect me to sacrifice three hours for a movie."

Jaemin frowns. "Are you feeling okay?" he asks, stepping back a bit, instead of leaning all of his weight on the side of her study desk, so as to give her some space, instead of crowding her. "You haven't really been responding very well tonight."

"I'm distracted," she gestures to the papers strewn across her desk, the scattered pens and pencils, eraser teetering on the corner of the desk—which he scoops up and safely returns to its respective spot beside her pencils—one lone paint palette resting beneath a box of acrylic paints also far too close to edge of it, so Jaemin pushes that farther up the desk, too. No paintbrushes, though he knows those are still at the top of her wardrobe, drying out after her impromptu painting session yesterday.

"Too distracted," he frowns, gently prying the pencil from her reddened-from-pressure fingers. "I get it too, you know, how hard it is to stop when the urge to do something about creativity blocks, hits you. I also want you to know that there's a limit to these things."

She huffs. "I can't help it if my stupid brain won't give me a proper idea," she says, sulking as she utters the words, though she most likely doesn't realize it. Jaemin thinks it's adorable. "I've been trying to get past the stupid art block, but none of my ideas are good enough."

She gestures to the angrily-torn out, balled-up pages of paper in the wastebasket beside her on the floor. Jaemin makes a mental note to take the better ones out of the pile, if only to tease her outwardly with it but actually keeping them for her future reference. As temperamental as Jiwon is, she tends to forget in her frustration at herself that her past supposedly-failed art serves as a good frame of reference for what she can do later down the line.

"That's because your brain is overworked," he scolds. "You've been at this since before I arrived, idiot. It doesn't take a genius to realize you need rest."

Jaemin had come over earlier to her dorm at her request to bring something to eat because she was "far too lazy to drag myself down ten flights of stairs right now," only to find that she was really immersed a tad bit too much to do more than bite into her food in between sketching on her drawing block. Being the caring boyfriend that he is, he hadn't discouraged her, just nagged at her to eat in a very annoying way until she gave in.

It's been almost four hours since then, though. Jaemin has almost finished a drama series by now. It's a lie to say he isn't concerned; of course he is, he loves Jiwon. He loves that she's so passionate about all of her interests, even if they fizzle out after a short period of hyperfixation, but that's one of her quirks.

Except for art. That one is lifelong, at this point. For all of the three years that he has known her, art has been practically the center of her life. Pencil lead smudged on her hands, just like it is now, streaks of an almost-non washable paint in a swirl of rainbow colors on her arms and hands, sometimes her face, too, which more often than not earned her a scolding from her parents and teachers.

But the bigger issue is that she's overworking herself at this point.

"But it's not even that late," she protests, looking at the clock. "It's only barely eight p.m..."

"I know, but you've been working this hard all day, and you're not getting anywhere."

"But if I try a little harder..."

"Jiwon," he says, firmer. Jiwon's stubborn, pleading expression falls into one of dejection. Once upon a time, Jaemin would've worried that he went too far and said something wrong, but now he knows that it's just her being upset at herself for going too far. Even if Jaemin doesn't necessarily agree with it, he's also aware that right now, the most important thing is destressing her cluttered, overloaded brain.

"Okay," she sighs out, standing up. She wobbles for a moment and she grabs at the desk to regain her balance, which immediately has Jaemin taking her arm, holding her up, recognizing it as a dizzy spell, a thing she experiences far too often from how she forgets to eat in the concentrated haze of making art. "Oh. Sorry, sorry, I'll eat something now..."

Jaemin has to smile at her somewhat ditzy expression. She has a weird way of laughing off even a few of the worst things that have happened to her, though he supposes that it's not so concerning when they already know that having her eat something would fix the dizziness very quickly.

"Want me to get you that apple you bought earlier?" he offers as they walk out into the living room of her dorm. She used to share it with someone else, who dropped out halfway through the year. Jaemin has been taking advantage of that to pop in on surprise visits to her during the day, and sometimes he's tempted to stay over for a night, but imagining how badly that could go keeps him from doing it.

"Yes, please," she mutters, throwing herself onto the couch. "I doubt I could handle anything else right now."

While she turns on the TV and flips through Netflix (before remembering that she has yet to finish 86's first season, to date), Jaemin heads to the kitchen to retrieve her apple for her. He often does this kind of thing for his friends and roommates, which earned him the moniker of "mom," but Jiwon is really the only person he truly gets satisfaction out of taking care of. Her, and his younger friends.

She's so absorbed into the screen that she startles when Jaemin sits beside her, handing her the plate of sliced apple. "You didn't have to do that," she notes, eyebrows lifted. Her gaze turns right back to the screen, which Jaemin takes no offense at. He is surprised that she continues talking. "I get that I messed up for myself, but I can eat an apple, you know."

"I don't think you can last the next episode without falling asleep," Jaemin smirks. She scoffs.

"You wanna bet?" 

"I already know it. One-hundred-percent assured."

"Oh, you're on, Na Jaemin," she grins. Jaemin isn't quite sure whether it's from watching the young, teenage soldiers on screen interact with their miles-away commander, or his challenge, but either way, it's a cute smile.

"Bring it on, Kang Jiwon." 

***

Contrary to expectation, Jiwon lasts until two episodes before the half-season finale, and then she turns to Jaemin and says, "I want to go to bed now. You should head back before it gets too late."

"I'll stay with you," Jaemin says nonchalantly. "My roommates are going to be out until really late."

"And?" she stares at him, eyes wide.

"I don't want to sleep alone," Jaemin answers, standing up. "Come on, Jiwon, it's not a big deal. I'm just going to sleep next to you. It's the weekend, too, so we're not going to have to go anywhere, right?"

"Well..." she hesitates, seeming to weigh between her choices. "I guess..."

"It's not mandatory," Jaemin clarifies, smoothing back the hair that had gotten loose from her ponytail away from her face, rather absently. "No pressure."

"No, I want you to stay," she decides, standing up and tugging him towards her bedroom, much, much more spacious since the roommate's stuff had been taken out of there. Jaemin internally second-guesses himself for a minute, but he talks himself out of it, reminding himself that they're technically not doing anything wrong (even if Renjun will have a neurotic fit when he finds out...well, he just won't). 

He stands by the door, watching her arrange her messy bed—twisted, balled-up covers, both of the pale violet pillows she uses at two opposite ends of the bed, a few books scattered across the flower-patterns decorating her bedsheet—before she lets Jaemin near it. It's endearing to see how she frowns at herself for letting her space get so messy. He knows she usually makes a point to order everything and put it all in place before she sets foot outside of the dorm.

"Okay," she turns, exhales. "Come on. I'm beginning to feel dead on my feet."

Jaemin chuckles softly and joins her, watching her climb into her bed only for a second before he does the same, though somewhat awkwardly. It's...strange to be here, right now. Not to mention incredibly awkward. Before he can say something stupid, he says, "your bed is really soft."

Jiwon blinks at him, from where she's adjusting the covers over them. Jaemin doesn't object, since she's got the air-conditioning turned on at twenty-six degrees. "Uh. Yeah, my parents got this for my brother when he moved into the dorms but he disliked the way it's so soft, so we traded mattresses." 

"Good call, I guess," Jaemin returns. A silence falls over them as Jiwon lies on her back snuggled under the comforter up to her chest, Jaemin sitting up leaning against the headboard with the comforter only covering his lower half.

Their eyes meet and they stare at each other for a full ten seconds before they burst out laughing.

"Jeez!" Jiwon wheezes, sitting up. "We're ridiculous, acting like a pair of teenagers on their first date!"

"Right," Jaemin snorts, pulling her closer the way he always does. "This is literally no different. We're a bit too nervous for just literally sleeping together, seriously."

Jiwon lets him essentially cuddle her. Jaemin doesn't look like it, but he is actually rather affectionate in many ways, and physical affection is one of his love languages. As such, Jiwon is the subject of quite a lot of hand-holding, random hugs, and just being affectionate in general. Jaemin is aware she doesn't mind at all, so he doesn't feel uneasy about doing things like that.

"I don't think I can fall asleep any time soon now," Jiwon admits softly, her voice just a whisper. With Jaemin's arm thrown loosely over her stomach, her head pillowed on his other arm, they're somehow in a closer position than they have ever been in before, but it's...comforting, to say the least.

"Shall I sing for you, then?" Jaemin purposely whispers in her ear. She shrieks in surprise and hits him.

"Jerk!"

Jaemin giggles, not releasing his grip on her. "Sorry, sorry!"

"Sure," she lightly pinches his arm, freezing a little bit when Jaemin starts running her hand through her short hair, a little bit longer than the absolute minimum required to tie a ponytail. She claimed it was for aesthetic reasons, though the bigger reason, he knows, is because she can't be bothered to take care of such long hair, practically waist-length, all the time. "What do you propose singing?"

"Twinkle, twinkle, little star—" 

"God, no."

"Rockabye baby, on the treetop—"

"Na Jaemin!"

In response, Jaemin starts laughing, which sets off Jiwon, too. They devolve into laughing so hard, tears form in Jaemin's eyes. His own ridiculousness and how there's still a thin barrier of awkward tension that they have yet to break.

So, he hugs her closer, and says, "tell me something I didn't know about you."

"Huh?" He can't see her face, but he imagines her frowning in concentration. "There's a lot that you do know about me. As for what you don't know..."

"Anything is fine, really."

"Huh." this time, it's more of a contemplative sound. "Do you remember when your mother said that I would make a good teacher?" Jaemin does not, but he hums in response anyway. "I laughed it off back then, but did I ever tell you that when I was a kid, I really wanted to be a teacher?"

"Really?" Jaemin is surprised. "What kind of teacher?"

"I don't know. Kids don't think too deeply about those things, you know?"

"Why did you? Want to become a teacher, I mean. You've always said you don't have enough patience to handle a class of children."

"There was this teacher when I was in the first and second grades," Jiwon's voice is soft, almost sleepy; a very in-character thing, for her to get sleepy just as they start properly talking. "She was always very nice to me, never stopped me talking when I got going or had an idea. There was an autistic kid in our class, too, and she never treated him differently. In fact, he and I were the favorite kids. When I finished first grade, I actually cried about having to have a different teacher."

"Awh, that's so cute."

"I was seven," Jiwon says with an intentional sulky tone. "So, when my brother started the first grade in the same year I started the second, he got the same teacher. You know about his ADHD, so you know how difficult it can be..."

Jaemin does. When he first met Jiwon's brother, he was quite hyper and excitable, and understood lots of things differently than most of them did. According to her, he was like that but ten times more hyper in his childhood, and it didn't help that most adults in his life treated him like he was a bad kid.

"She was the greatest teacher he ever had," the smile in her voice is evident, blooming like a sunflower in the sun. Jaemin finds it beautiful that her pride in her family and loved ones take precedence over much else, much like how Jaemin puts his mother before everyone else. "He was her best friend by the end of the year, and what do you know, he cried, too. I mean, have you ever known him to cry about saying goodbye to someone?"

"Never," Jaemin finds the idea alien. But he knows her brother has feelings, too. "That was what made you decide?"

"Yeah. Until my mother, ever so practical," there's a teasing hint of fondness there, "convinced me that I would die penniless and stressed out because kids are hard work and teachers don't get paid enough."

"I mean, my mother survived?"

"She had a husband to support her. I was in my 'die a single woman' phase."

"Ah. That explains so much."

"Shut up," she laughs, hitting his arm. "I wasn't upset about it ever, actually. I was cycling through a lot of professions at the time, so it isn't too big of a disappointment that it took a day to get talked out of it without much effort. Even if I do think about it sometimes."

"Imagine me dating a teacher."

"Your mother would approve. Now tell me something about you."

"I never drink because my mother said she doesn't like to drink and would prefer it that I did not drink, either," Jaemin says the first thing that comes to mind. Jiwon snorts, clearly disbelieving. "I'm serious, I really don't like doing it! It tastes weird, too."

"Such a momma's boy," Jiwon teases, but her voice is slurred now, beginning to sound more sleepy and tired than anything.

"That is my pride, Jiwon," he says very seriously. He can't stop the yawn that escapes his mouth after he says it, though. "Now I'm sleepy."

"Then sleep," she mumbles, shifting so that her legs aren't twined together. "Good night."

When it's silent for almost a full minute, Jaemin realizes that she really isn't joking; she's actually fallen asleep. Her soft breathing is the only sound in the room now, aside from his own.

With a fond sigh, Jaemin closes his own heavy eyelids, still hugging Jiwon.

yes, i still hate it. but thanks to all of you who reassured me it's okay haha ilu guys.

[faithfromanewperspective]

Thomas/Tracey Lightwood: the trendsetter, protector, and more of a leader than we realise

I’ve come to the realisation that the main common thing the Merry Thieves have (aside from parents who are all friends and living in London and the same age) is that none of them are really compliant to the status quo. James is polite, but he will throw you in the river if you insult downworlders; Christopher won’t pick fights but he does have a fairly alternative pastime 90% of the time, Matthew identifies himself as a bohemian, and Thomas—well, we’ll get to him. In short, I see Thomas as the most quietly rebellious of them all, and somehow it took seeing him reimagined as a girl to see that.

This one’s actually quite a lot of Thomas, even though I will reference @thevagabondexpress’ genderbent counterpart. So, if you like Thomas or Thomastair, read on! Hopefully there’s something interesting here, and to set the mood, a simple playlist of Dorothea by Taylor Swift and Social Casualty by 5SOS. Why? Because I saw Tracey Lightwood grow into herself: someone who breaks the rules with the kind of expertise it takes to set trends and make meaningful change. We all want to be her, and she successfully manages not to be a victim of authority.

I’m going to go back to the beginning with this. In NBS, he’s the quiet one of the friend group who doesn’t like attention (James almost immediately sees their similarities, and makes sense, for he probably knew Thomas the best after the falling out of a tree incident about 4 years prior). But, despite his mother having been a mundane, he doesn’t see the little injustices and microagressions James does—at one point when James explains something he’s very annoyed about Thomas says he never thought about it that way. He also tries to get his friends to stop embarrassing him (with little success), even sometimes coming across a bit critical of Christopher’s creative ideas (which is understandable for a 14yo, but at the same time could have developed into insecurities Kit didn’t deserve). Anyway, my point is he’s still coming across as a good kid, who wants to please, and fit in. But as early as CLS, in the flashback at the start, we see him finding Alastair’s rude comments funny, and gravitating towards Alastair, who, at the time, seems the complete opposite of the sweet, kind and eager to please façade (and I would say it is genuine, not fake, it’s part of his personality, just not the whole of it) he puts on. It’s the classic stereotypical good girl/bad boy situation (but made gayer, drawn out, and overall just much healthier). What I mean by that, is the fawn-response-is-my-go-to-because-I-hate-any-kind-of-attention-as-it-always-involves-being-fussed-over people pleaser longs to be free from the box and the never-ending demands of interpersonal perfection and is thus drawn to someone who breaks their own rules, and who, learning from, they could figure out how to be themselves (except it’s not thought through that fully, like ever, it’s more like brain sees freedom potential + hot person I can maybe connect to; sounds fun, sexy, exciting, and like we will be less burdened by this burden we’re trying not to break it to ourselves we’re carrying).

Reigning myself in from discussing a certain band’s playing in to that exact thought process, Thomas might remind me of Calum but we’re discussing books.

Anyway, maintaining this half-true façade, like any kind of masking (and Thomas most definitely is masking, out of fear of social disapproval and attention), eventually gets exhausting, and usually leads to it breaking at some point and some rebellion coming through. For some, being away from strict parents for the first time means a time for trying new, more out-there things (that we would usually associate with teenagers, but some of us, yes me included, were for whatever reason scared or not confident to rebel). For some, our parents aren’t even that strict or anything, but the simple fact that we’re known as being one way by those around us means we kind of just stick to the role they give us, and we don’t have a clean slate to discover who we are behind all the masking and assumptions until we move somewhere we don’t know anyone. Thomas is the latter: when he moves to Spain, he gets a new weapon, the Bolas, he gets a tattoo, he goes to parties where he doesn’t know anyone even though it’s scary, and he more generally explores simply existing rather than being the ‘kind one’ of his friend group, or being Sophie and Gideon’s tiny, sickly youngest child. In some ways, his growth spurt is representative of a greater personal growth. Love that for him. And I think Chain of Gold is a bit of a weird mix of supportive friends ‘comrades with a gentle giant! Yay! Lets see tattoo hehe’ and viewing him in a box: ‘the kind one’ ‘our True Thomas?’ (in reference to his recommendation of not admitting to burning the house down).

But at least he’s portrayed as having a mind of his own (he got a tattoo, he chose not to go with his family but stay to help out in London, he was the first to befriend Alastair in London til Matthew dropped the bomb on him quite rudely). And this is where we get to the gender lens. For a man, this is somewhat bare minimum, expected. For a woman, it’s a statement (cue, Tessa Gray, ‘a woman with tattoos?’). And this is Tracey. She’s got a mind of her own: she got a tattoo, she has her ears pierced in a time it was uncommon (how rebellious, am I right?). She is a protector, of her friends especially but she’s also restless to be a hero, and doesn’t care about the risk. She helps Alice with her case, which we probably associate more with kindness than the kind of protectiveness that’s normalised in men but seems almost like, quoting Anna Lightwood, ‘stealing fire from the gods’ in a woman. But it's all part of the same picture. That, with her height and build, make her not exactly unfeminine but the kind of empowered that most women of her era never get to be, but in their hearts really want to. It makes sense why when she gets a bob out of necessity (10 years ahead of mundane fashion too) the practical and metamorphosing Christa and the fashionista Michelle follow her. And, unlike with Thomas, when she accepts Alice, her friends do pretty much follow her lead without fuss.

She’s still Thomas in so many ways: she’s not trying to get attention. It’s not her fault everyone would want to be her. Just like it’s not Thomas’ fault he grew up tall and muscular and handsome when he would much rather take up much less space, both literally and socially. Tracey surely is insecure about her size as well—and for both of them it’s something other people admire, and certainly don’t discriminate against them for—but the reaction does look slightly different. For Tracey, it’s more noticed, even unconsciously, but for Thomas, it’s more a passing observation. Though that could be something to do with the ratio of Alice POV to Alastair POV. Still, Tracey does come off a little more respected. Less restricted by her friends, maybe, or less affected by it if she is. Maybe because like how Thomas is emotional support person of the Merry Thieves (and that’s generally seen as a more feminine role) Tracey also usurps gender roles by being the protector. A bit less emotionally intertwined with their offenses, able to agree with Alice’s assessment of Judith as Claude’s ‘amnesiac trainwreck of a wife’ while she’s missing (I think Thomas would be fuming at that and very worried about James in that situation).

Backtracking a little—throughout the series, Thomas’ need to not be constricted comes out, most notably in his lone patrols. For Tracey, it’s much the same, but it also shows when she befriends Alice and actually defends her in front of her friends. She seems more confident. Maybe that’s why she’s such a trendsetter and you can’t help but want to be her a little. Maybe that’s why she can attempt to do her vigilante patrols without being placed under lock and key as a woman would usually be. I’ll think of her, and her confidence, when I go for that overdue haircut and my next piercing which will hopefully be creative in a good way and not simply strange (but who cares if it is, right?). And yet, somehow in the construction of this amazing character, she does lose some of that relatableness and adorable awkwardness that makes Thomas Thomas—and, to your credit, we mostly don’t see until Chain of Thorns (after we know him for everything else I’ve mentioned, he really is a beautifully real and complex character). Because it’s not like Thomas isn’t confident—he’s just got a bit of a dependent relationship with his friends, and most people he knows in general—considering his childhood, who is surprised? He is actually secure in his sexuality and confident to come out as gay—I think the only reason he doesn’t earlier is because he knows he likes Alastair and that Matthew will flip and he doesn’t want what he views as an irrational crush on someone he has beef against to cause conflict. Part of the way he’s protective of his friends is that he’s scared of making them feel hurt even briefly. I think Alastair helps him outgrow that. Because he does have a lot of Tracey Lightwood in him. Alastair knows he’s proud and good and has the heart of a hero. Yes he gets love for being awkward and a simp but Thomas is so much more than that, and there’s still more growing he has to do to grow into himself, even after Madrid and Paris where he first tasted freedom, and fully realise who he is—and who I needed Tracey Lightwood to be written to properly see.

Who Alastair saw all along, and I hope that as James and Matthew move past everything they've gone through pre- and during tlh that kept them both not exactly present, will also get to know and celebrate.

[jbeespoke]

This pic is so trash, bro...

A friend of mine and I challenged each other to take at least one pic a day and write about it. There are no limits. No restrictions. Take a pic and post it...

So boom - my NYE and New Year's Day was interesting. To be honest, I' m not exactly sure how I feel about it, but either way, I decided that I was going to be productive today. I was going to control everything that I could control.

I got up. I prayed. I sat on my couch - hoping for some down time before I started tackling my tasks for the day.

As I sat on my couch, the sun seemed to shine so bright through my window. I looked out, and to my surprise, it actually wasn't as bright as it seemed. There were quite a few clouds, but the sun was putting up a fight.

I saw the sun for the first time in months.

And then it hit me - "this would be the perfect first post for the daily challenge"

I got up. Threw on a pair of raw denims, a yellow hoodie, a tartan, Sherpa-lined flannel, a pair of Boston's and went outside!

I knew that I wouldn’t have a great angle from where I was at, so I walked to the corner so that my pic could tell a better story. Once I hit the corner, all I could think of was that Jay line from "God Did":

Judge it how you judge it, say we goin' corporate Nah, we just corner boys with the corner office

I had the perfect caption!

I was standing on the corner, on the first day of the year, breathing, looking at the sun peak through the clouds. What an amazing sign from God.

"Oh what a feeling"

I was so hype lol. I walked to the other corner and attempted another "artsy" pic. That pic was so trash, bro...

I had no idea any of these pics were so trash at the time of taking them, btw. Each time, after taking the pic, you couldn't tell me I wasn't Jamel Shabazz.

Once I got inside and looked at the pics, I realized that these pics were so trash, bro.

Then God reminded me of the greatness that occurred because of these "trash" pics:

I was forced to go outside. That's a good thing. I spent way too many consecutive days inside, without getting fresh air in 2023. Mod ting, bruv

It was like going to the gym. By using that part of my brain, I am strengthening and toning my creativity muscles

I was able to clear some mental space - which made room for the completion of some incomplete tasks

I was able to put action to my prayer. Walking back, I saw so much garbage on the street and on the sidewalk in the surrounding area of where I stay. At first, I walked right past it. But it didn't sit right with me. For the longest time, I've been praying about our communities and have been complaining about how we treat our own. "Our" being the black community. There's no reason why the areas in which we live have to look run down. Or a place where it's acceptable for trash to be left. But, I also can't be praying about it, wanting everyone else to do better, and I not take the necessary steps to make sure my community is clean. So I swept up the random corn on the cob, the Popeyes and cupcake boxes, and all the rest of the random trash that was left behind from the city workers. I didn't clean everything and I didn't go very far outside of my immediate area, but it was a start. Hopefully it's something that I can continue, and hopefully someone will see and do the same

Character. I was able to add more wear and tear to my raw denims and birks lol

When I feel like I'm not being heard, I sometimes forget to hear myself. Today, because of these trash pics, I was able to start the process of EQ-ing my voice. I'm behind the mixing board of my life. Turning a lot of other things down. Turning me up.

Welcome to the experience.

Thank You God for another day. Thanks for allowing me to see 2024. Thanks for not only the sun, but the SON. Thank You for hearing me when I didn't hear myself - You're fighting for me.

This was my accountability post. I have no idea what the format is going to be in the upcoming posts and I'm not going to think about it. This is just how I felt today.

I started. I can't stop now.

written from my corner office

[martieshub]

❛I'll call you Oreo and you can call me Annie. Like my family does. Deal? Spirited Away. I will have to ask my mama to put that one on one night. Mostly it's Disney movies because of my little cousins and we have them over a lot of nights. But when it's just me, my sister and our mamas. We watch all kinds. Sometimes we see documentaries. They are food for the brain! I like comedies and romance. Sometimes I don't know what is going on but I like seeing my family laugh and have a good time watching. Oh! My favorite movie is Titanic. My uncle loves it and it's our Friday night date movie. Not him, my other uncle. Uncle J. ❜

Wally smiled and laughed. ❛I'll hold you to that. Maybe next time I won't bring a file but my learning brain. Make it a more fun type of date night. ❜ he knew exactly what he did with that sentence but didn't really care as he walked away.

❛No. Not all of them. I think we haven't gotten through the A's yet. Have you?❜Anna was interested and it was clear as she looked at her without blinking. She rubbed her cousin's back as he slept and felt him grasp her hair feeling the familiarity of the brown hair between his fingers. ❛She is! She isn't home right now but she is a writer. Her stories aren't thrillers but still very cool. Mhmm. ❜ She did the same thing Wally did when he was interested in a topic, the mhmm sound and look right into her eyes as they waited for more to be said. If anyone asked how they were related that was the thing that they'd lead with. ❛Hmm you bring an interesting point. No one pays attention to what is actually in front of them. Be that in life or in relationships. I can see that. Next time I'm in a room with my other uncle at the museum I'll make sure to take a genuine look around to see if I can spot something that shouldn't be there but actually should be. ❜ Elizabeth gave her some food for thought and she was now gonna run with it. It was one of the things that absolutely fascinated her about her uncle Wally's work. He never thought inside the box. Sure, the times he got hurt weren't fun but the thought process was interesting. ❛I'd think that they came in to case the place beforehand. Regular clothes or maybe even as workers like janitors or curators. A lot of people can get creative. Like, if I were plan something right now, I'd go low. Maybe befriend the security personnel. Ask questions about random things. For myself it'd be easy since I'm the niece of one of the many museum archaeologists they have on hand. So, no one would think twice about my questions. ❜ Scarily so was how well versed she was in this. Maybe she had spent a lot of time with her uncle. But then again, she'd never felt safer than in his presence. She shook her head and smiled. ❛Have not but on my list. Let's walk over there. They might have it here. Is that your favorite book? ❜

❛Hmm anime section is on the upper level I believe. Baseball is the next one over. It's in the sports section. Wanna head there? ❜ The two kids he had stayed at his side wandering eyes looking around and softly giggling to themselves. They were too little to truly understand anything so they were content watching and walking wherever they were lead. ❛Is baseball your favorite sport? Do you play?❜ He could hear his niece rambling off and smiled softly knowing that she loved being mentally stimulated. Another thing they had in common. He spared a quick glance over to the girls and gave Elizabeth a smile. Half thankful for giving his niece the time of day and being incredibly gracious with her and half proud for seemingly being comfortable around his little army of family. His green eyes sparkled with admiration before he looked back down and focused on Orion. ❛We can head over once your aunt knows where you're heading so she doesn't panic. ❜

The tiny tot that had been with Elizabeth toddled over to him and tugged on his leg wanting her snack. She whispered it in French and waited patiently for him to get it out for her. Once the gummy bears baggy was securely in her hands she started eating them quietly as her head went back and forth watching the conversation between the two boys. She reached the bag of gummy bears up to Orion, the new boy and offered him some without a word then handed some to her baby brother who had his tiny hand outstretched.

❝ You can call me Oreo, if you want! ❞ he smiled at Anna. ❝ All kinds! She also showed me some called anime, I really like one called Spirited Away, what about you? What kind of movies do you like? ❞ Something about this whole thing had Orion as ease and ready to be friends, that and knowing that he wasn’t being replaced after reassurance from his godmother helped.

❝ Yeah, it really does. Especially when you don’t want others to know what you’re saying. I could teach you a sign or two. ❞ Seeing as he had been kind enough to do all this, maybe it’d be okay if she was nice back every once in a while. It wasn’t as if she was telling him her life story

❝ Oohh! ❞ She said excitedly as she let herself be taken towards the right. ❝ Which one would you like? ❞ Her eyes scanned the books greedily like a child in a candy store. ❝ Have you read any of these before? ❞

When she had mentioned talking to Anna about books, she had thought of maybe next time she saw the girl and they’d be able to sit down one on one. But now would’ve been any time as good any since she didn’t know when the next time she’d see the girl would be. The grin that came upon her face as the girl spoke was not because she was surprised, but because she genuinely liked what she was saying. ❝ I did not know your aunt is an author that’s amazing. For the story, I found it okay. ❞ She leaned in and said softly for the girl to hear. ❝ Well the best place to hide something is placing it somewhere everyone can see. I bet you’ve probably been in the room with one and never realized it. ❞ That was a truth she had come to know in her years, they were out there hiding in plain sight and most never knew they were looking right at it. ❝ It is unfortunate that things go unsolved but I think it’s because the people trying to do the solving lack the imagination needed. They like proof they can see with their eyes, video, finger prints, someone saying something, but you have to put yourself in their shoes. I think for these kind of things, you have to think like them, the first question should be how. How did they know to get those uniforms? How did they know the routine? How did only two people get out with 13 works on their own with only four hands? When you get answers for the how, it’s easier to narrow things down. Sometimes things aren’t done for money, they’re done to make a point or to add to someone else’s collection. ❞ Realizing she was saying more than she should’ve, especially with a child she cleared her throat. ❝ Have you heard of The Monument Men? I think if your liked that book, you might like learning about them. ❞

Orion had bid his companion a see you later as he began to scan the books for his interests. It wasn’t like he had many as of yet but he wanted to. ❝ Hi. ❞ His fist met Wally’s as he smiled and nodded. ❝ I wanted to find something on drawing but not cartoons, anime! Maybe baseball! Do you know where I should look? ❞

[carpisuns]

you know, as a creator, i actually don’t consider myself that “creative.” that’s not rly intended to be self-deprecating btw—what I mean is that i am better at repurposing or expanding on other people’s ideas rather than coming up with my own. i’m “creative” because i create, but i have a hard time creating ex nihilo. I have to have a starting point. i can think outside the box, but there has to be a box first. (this checks out because I work as an editor lol. the main focus of my job is to polish or build on something that’s already there.)

that’s one reason that fan creation appeals so much to me. I have a hard time coming up with my own stories, but I love writing fanfic because it’s like I have a sandbox to play in and there are lot of possibilities I can explore. and I’ve never made up an art OC, but I love drawing my favorite fictional characters to improve my skills and stretch my creative muscles. fandom creation is so valuable for creators like me and to a lot of other types of creative minds too. people sometimes ask me why I don’t do more original work and the answer is that I haven’t yet been able to create something on my own that inspires me to keep creating the way my favorite stories do. and I don’t think that’s really a bad thing? inspiration comes in many forms and I will create based on whatever inspiration I receive. And right now that inspiration happens to come from a kid’s cartoon, or a book series, or some other already-told story.

even within fandom i kind of see a division of creators. There are the ones who come up with cool AUs/headcanons or interpret the story and characters in a fresh, unique way, and then there are the ones like me who mostly stick to canon and create based off that. and both are good! I get involved in fandom because I genuinely really enjoy the source content, so I usually don’t feel the need to give it a makeover lol. because of that I tend to keep my work pretty canon compliant (altho not always/not entirely). but I often really admire the creativity of the fan creators who do push past the boundaries of canon to make room for their own ideas and reinterpretation. I think it’s cool to have a mix and representation of many different types of creators/creation.

maybe the kind of creativity I’m talking about is a skill you can develop—a muscle you can build—or maybe it just depends on how your brain is wired. either way, if you’re a “non-creative” creator like me and you feel like your work doesn’t means anything because it’s not unique enough, just know that creation is creation no matter what and that your creation is still unique and cool just because you made it, and no one creates exactly the way you do. you might feel like you aren’t offering much to the world but you don’t know how you might inspire someone else or just make them smile. and that is worth it all on its own, at least to me. idk about you but i can’t imagine myself ever saying, “oh man, another drawing of my absolute favorite character that sparks joy just to think about :/ boring” or “lame, I found yet another fic featuring my favorite ship and my favorite trope that always makes me go bonkers :/” haha. my stuff may not not always be super original but I know people still enjoy it and I enjoy creating so that’s what really matters tbh

I’m really grateful for the creators who inspire me to create—whether it’s a source creator or a fellow fan creator. I truly am extremely inspired by fan creators every day and I feel honored and thrilled to be able to share the same creative space with them! thank you for sharing your work, even if you feel a little insecure about it. life is a richer experience for you and others because of what you create.

[princesssarisa]

Character ask: Mulan (Disney)

Tagged by @artemideaddams.

Original animated film only – I haven't even seen Mulan II or the live-action remake.

Favorite thing about them: How to choose just one thing? She's one of Disney's greatest heroines. So relatable and funny yet poignant in her initial bumbling and her failure to conform to her society's expectations, yet so clever and resourceful from the start, and so incredibly brave and selfless as she risks death both in battle and by execution in becoming a soldier to save her father's life. She's a great warrior, yet achieves more with her brain than with physical fighting skills, and far from needing to act like a man to become a hero (the message which some ignorant people accuse the film of sending), she saves China by being her true non-conforming self, combining "masculinity" with "femininity," and outwitting the villains with her outside-the-box thinking. Her journey of self-actualization is empowering in so many ways.

Least favorite thing about them: Her flaws are almost too relatable. Especially when people write about the movie and point out how her initial failures both at the matchmaker's and in the army are more her own fault than anyone else's: "Her main problem is that she lacks discipline, which her army training corrects." When they point that out, the messages I feel tempted to take away are (a) that people who are awkward and disorganized and who fail to conform just aren't trying hard enough, and (b) that to cure myself of those flaws, I should be as hard on myself as Shang is on his trainees. I don't think the filmmakers intended those messages, though.

Three things I have in common with them:

*I tend to be disorganized and bad at time management.

*I'm neither a total tomboy nor especially girly.

*I love my family.

Three things I don't have in common with them:

*I've never been a soldier.

*I've never disguised myself as a man (except when I sometimes played male roles in my childhood acting group).

*I'm not Chinese.

Favorite line:

When she first meets Mushu:

"My ancestors sent a little lizard to help me?"

When Shang asks her name when she's in disguise:

"Uhhh... I've got a name... and it's a boys' name too."

When she's been left behind in the mountains:

"Maybe I didn't go for my father. Maybe what I really wanted was to prove I could do things right, so when I looked in the mirror, I'd see someone worthwhile. But I was wrong. I see nothing."

When Shang dismisses her:

"You said you'd trust Ping. Why is Mulan any different?"

When Shan Yu accuses Shang of taking away his victory:

"No, I did!"

brOTP: Mushu, Yao, Ling, Chien-Po, and her family, especially her father.

OTP: Shang, though I'm glad it's only hinted at in the end – they need more time to get to know each other outside of the army.

nOTP: Her father, the Emperor, or Shan Yu.

Random headcanon: She has ADHD. That would explain so much about her.

Unpopular opinion: Both "Mulan Is Not Like Other Girls" and "Mulan Is Just Like Other Girls" are flawed perspectives. Fans who view her a completely masculine warrior who hates anything girly are wrong, but so are fans who argue against that idea by claiming that she's actually very feminine and likes fancy dress and being ladylike. Really, I'd say that her core personality is gender neutral. It's true that she tries to fit the mold of a traditional Chinese lady for her family's sake, and that fact does make her more interesting than if she had been yet another rebellious heroine. But it's not just nervousness or lack of discipline that make her fail. She genuinely doesn't like it (just look at her face when she sees herself dolled up for the matchmaker in the mirror) and knows it isn't her true self. In the end, it's by being her true self and combining both "masculine" and "feminine" methods – and above all, non-gendered cunning and creative thinking – that she defeats Shan Yu. This is exemplified when she uses a ladies' fan to block his sword, and then uses kung fu and swordplay to pin him to the roof so Mushu can blast him to death with a rocket.

Song I associate with them: "Reflection"

Favorite pictures of them:

[kenjo-arts]

Hey I wanted to ask on how you deal with extrem motivation loss, especially for art. Sadly I am so bad at finishing anything and I mostly have just random sketches and scribbles :/

Mostly i either power through or i say "done" on my scribbles and make a new one. And then keep making scribbles and sketches untill i find something im happy with (that's usually way diffrent from what I set out to draw [but I also have aphantasia so I never truly have something specific i set out to draw so like im used to it] ) For basically every more polished drawing you see here on my Tumblr Ive got maybe 1-3 sketches and 2 erased scribbles i never did anything with. Sometimes i just colour a sketch im only mildly unhappy/happy with and post it like my recent c!Bedrock bros art.

The thing is you don't have to be dishearted about only making sketches if you keep doing it because then you get better and youll be able to make sketches youre more and more proud of. (art is also sometimes also about habbit-> the biggest advices Ive always gotten is to keep drawing everyday (even if it's just boxes or idk hair) that itll help you improve even if the motivation isn't there or youre in an artblock)

Currently im feeling alot of motivation loss myself, which is why Ive not posted as much as I usually do. Which is why I've resolved myself to just keep drawing things im unhappy with untill i get over it <- i brute force it a bit... 😓 Or in worst case ill look at old sketches and just finish something im not that happy about to just get drawing back into my hand.

Worst case you can do like i did in the past (which i still SHOULD DO because Ive been struggeling too sometimes) and draw legs in diffrent poses. Just legs. Legs. Legs. This sounds strange but the likelyhood of you starting your drawings with the head is high so you might actually find it easier to draw more starting from somewhere else on the body. (comon advice is the hips bc that's where everything else goes out from in both directions)

Sometimes it also helps using a diffrent medium or brush. The reason my art shifts sometimes is because sometimes I find a brush i find it easy to draw losely and creatively with <- it's a strange psykological trick like writers writing in casual or funky fonts because it's not as "formal" which lessens pressure.

Because pressure is the killer of motivation in my personal experience, not pressure in deadlines, but in perfroming to perfection. It's also why i draw for myself mostly and kick myself mentally in the face when I get to caught up in drawing things that will do good on Tumblr or twitter instead of what give me brainrot.

Visual of my brain when it's going really well, regardless of how good the drawings are->

I hope any of this made any sense, i feel I rambled a bit all over the place so feel free to ask any questions. I don't have any profisional artist advice because Ive never had any art education outside a few videos on yt, so this is whatever i could think of right now.

ALSO REMEMBER TO USE REFRENCE OH GOD IM SO BAD AT THIS BUT YOU!!! YOU REMEMBER IT!! BE BETTER THAN ME!!! USE REFRENCE FOR POSES!!! FOR TEXTURE!!! FOR HAIR!!! FOR FACESS!!! FOR EVEYTHING IT ONLY IMPROVES YOUR ART!!!! AND ITS NOT CHEATING!!!

[undertale-data]

[Image Description: An Undertale chat box that has “WHY FANS LOVE UNDERTALE” at its center. Next to it are a line chart and an Egg from the Dating Hub on its left, and a CRIME measurer (also from the Dating Hub) on its right. End I.D.]

[Image Description: a pie chart titled, “LEVEL OF LOVE FOR UNDERTALE.” The textbox on the top right reads, “On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the least and 10 being the highest, how much do fans enjoy Undertale?” From the top going clockwise, 12 or 0% chose 5 and below; 23 or 1% chose 6; 98, or 4%, chose 7; 325, or 12%, chose 8; 529, or 20%, chose 9; and 1664, or 63%, chose 10. End I.D.]

It’s clear from all of the data analyzed so far that fans who took the time to answer our survey love Undertale. It is unlikely that they would have taken the time to answer so many questions if they had not, and even less likely that they would have come across our survey in the first place. Naturally, it comes as no surprise that 63% of our responders gave their love for Undertale a score of ten out of ten. 95% gave their love for Undertale a score of eight or higher, and only 12 responders responded with five or below, a number so small that their responses had to be lumped together to be visible on the pie chart. Of those, only 3 responders gave their love for Undertale a score of 1, and based on those responders’ other answers, it is likely that they were only intending to troll. We are very fortunate that the vast majority of responders took the survey seriously, enough so that responses like this are barely a blip in the data.

Now, for our final analysis post of the event, we will delve into the reasons that fans love Undertale so dearly.

(Essay and highlights under the cut.)

There have been countless essays on the impact that Undertale has had on people’s lives. I can hardly add more on the subject than what has already been said, but I hope this summary can provide a brief overview of what stood out among the over two thousand answers given in response to this survey. That said, due to the sheer volume of answers, I could not read every single one in depth—however, I did skim all of them, and some that stood out or were representative of several responses have been highlighted below. If you would like to see what every fan who consented to share their response had to say, you may view the full list of responses here. Note that these responses have not been edited in any way. This document may take a long time to load, as it is over 100 pages long.

(Warnings for mentions of suicidal thoughts in the following essay.)

Several responders loved the theme of choices mattering in Undertale. Whether people played the pacifist, merciless, or neutral routes, they enjoyed how the game reacted to their actions. For some, it even made them consider their own morality. One touching response explained the impact that the theme of mercy made on them. “I realized that Mercy isn't something that's given to those who deserve it. Flowey didn't deserve it. I don't deserve it myself. Shoot, we ALL need Mercy in our lives.” Many fans left similar comments about how the themes of Undertale made them better people.

Undertale changed how its fans treat others, and it also changed how fans treat themselves. The theme of staying determined and the messages of hope in the game were a light to a very large portion of fans. I cannot list all of the fans who said that Undertale helped them out of a dark place, or that they would not be alive if not for Undertale. “DETERMINATION became a metaphor for not killing myself at a really rough time in my life and I’ll always cherish that. Undertale isn’t afraid to go to really dark places but at the same time holds on so tight to its hope.”

Undertale brought fans together in unexpected ways. Some said they met friends or significant others through the fandom. “I wouldn't have met my now husband without Undertale,” one fan said. A different fan who is non-native English speaking mentioned that the game and the fan community helped them to learn English.

It would be impossible to discuss Undertale without mentioning the fan community. Whether for good or bad, many responders mentioned the fandom in their responses. Overall the feelings towards the fandom seem positive, though many made references to “toxic” parts of the fandom without specifying which parts they consider toxic. Others rejected the idea of toxicity in fandom. One response said: “[SLAMS FIST ON DESK] I KNOW MOST PEOPLE SAY THE FANDOM IS TOXIC AND CRINGE OR WHATEVER BUT OH MY GOD. The Undertale fandom, both the UTMV and the actual UT fandom, has been so much fun to be a part of. I've met countless friends because of our shared interest in something related to the game! The art people create can be breathtaking and so inspirational, and the fanfics are so so good!! I've seen people write incredible things for this fandom and it's what made me continue writing!”

One thing that makes the Undertale fandom unique is the way it embraces various AUs. Some fans are tired of AU content, but the majority of responses show a love for the creativity behind AUs. “Roll your eyes at the 50th AU Sans all you want, it's encouraging people to step outside the boundaries of fanart and pushing people to make their own ideas! I mean, hell, it was how I gained the confidence to start making my own original content.” The lack of a judgemental atmosphere seems present in the AU community, according to the responses we saw. There is an interesting balance between AU and canon (sometimes referred to as “classic”) content that another responder pointed out: “The fandom helped keep the game alive all these years, with all of its AUs. Although personally, I always enjoyed AUs that kept characters as close to the classic material as possible (dancetale, outertale) I do appreciate the creativity of the fandom. They almost created entirely new stories with new characters of their own! If it weren't for those people, the Undertale fandom would have probably not been as active as it is now. I do feel like we're getting a resurgence of classic content now too! (In 2021)”

Regardless of the many AUs the fandom has created over the years, the original game of Undertale still feels like home for many fans. They wished they could reclaim the feeling of playing the game again for the first time, but even though we can’t reset time in real life, there is still a special feeling for fans each time they play Undertale. One fan said, “Even the best fics I've read can't capture that feeling of nostalgia/almost-"coming home" that comes with hearing the music and talking to the characters.” This feeling is one that can be cherished time and time again. In the words of another responder: “It always feels welcoming like home or like comfort food that I never grow tired of no matter how many times I go to it.” Others pointed out the strength of the found family trope in Undertale, which likely contributes to this feeling of “home” as well.

As mentioned briefly earlier, the music is part of what makes Undertale feel like home for fans. Even when responses focused on other aspects of the game, many would throw in a comment about the soundtrack at the end. One comment focused on the music said “IT'S SO GOOD like I will literally go through the entire thing over and over and not be bored with it. It makes my monkey brain so happy you have no idea.” Like with the game itself, the music has incredible replay value, an amazing feat considering most of the tracks use the same few motifs. “I think what I like the most about Undertale is how the music attaches you to the story,” another responder said. “They're simple melodies that stick with you throughout the whole game, and they can remind you of both good and bad times.”

If the music sticks with fans in their hearts, then the game’s lore sticks with fans in their minds. Even six years after the release of Undertale, fans are still creating new theories and digging up new secrets. The way the game breaks the fourth wall in particular intrigued many fans and has stuck out through all these years. The awareness that the game shows for the RPG genre makes it memorable. The game plays with the player’s expectations and turns them on their heads, all while reminding the player that they’re in a game. There are few other games that do this on such a large scale, so it’s no surprise that fans cite this as one of their favorite things about Undertale.

Lastly, the LGBT+ representation in Undertale has been a huge draw for fans. Especially in 2015, the sheer volume of non-cishet characters was unprecedented, as one fan pointed out: “It's practically unheard of to see so MANY from just one source, especially during its heyday in 2015-16. Hell, you can't even GET the true pacifist ending without helping two gay couples hook up. It's really nice to see all of them being accepted for who they are and not judged for their sexuality or gender, at least in-canon.” The LGBT+ cast including Frisk, Chara, Napstablook, Monster Kid, Mettaton, Alphys, and Undyne each connected with fans in unique ways. It’s clear how important this is from responses such as: “There are canon nonbinary characters 🥺. i have never seen representation of myself before.” “It made me gay and trans so thanks for that.”

Once again I am overwhelmed with just how much there is to say about Undertale. One responder really understood when they compared Undertale to an iceberg, explaining that there are so many layers to the game that there is something for everyone: “everyone can find something to enjoy in the lore/game regardless of what kind of fan they are! Being able to appeal to various types of fans—from simple happy shipper people to deep dive lorediggers—is the mark of the coolest games!” I would have to agree with them.

It’s been six years, and despite everything, it’s still you. Thank you for reading, participating in this survey, and above all, staying determined.

Highlights:

DETERMINATION became a metaphor for not killing myself at a really rough time in my life and I’ll always cherish that. Undertale isn’t afraid to go to really dark places but at the same time holds on so tight to its hope.

I think the coolest thing was having the opportunity to watch the AU community grow from its bare roots. It's nearly insane how big and complex it's gotten, unlike anything I'd ever seen before. Roll your eyes at the 50th AU Sans all you want, it's encouraging people to step outside the boundaries of fanart and pushing people to make their own ideas! I mean, hell, it was how I gained the confidence to start making my own original content.

i love how the lgbt rep is so naturalized... there are just gay people! and its nobodys business!

The music is my go to answer, but what I really really REALLY love is how the minor characters have so much personality to them when you talk to them. They aren't incredibly important to the overall story, but they're all so likeable and diverse that you just can't help but like them immediately!

I think it was the first videogame I have played that broke the fourth wall that much. Of course there has been other videogames that broke it but just for one or two tongue-in-cheek jokes. The guilt of killing mama goat was also something intense as well that I appreciated as an experience and that I didn't think a videogame could cause on someone.

I love how no character can be seen as completely bad! Everyone builds up Asgore as some horrible villain, but he turns out to be a 'fuzzy pushover' who's broken and just wants his family back by the time you meet him. Then you think Flowey's an irredeemable killer who engineered the suffering of the monsters across many timelines, and he is... but he also used to be the kind and beloved Prince Asriel Dreemurr, traumatized by his death and subsequent rebirth, projecting his best friend onto you.

The fact that choices matter in the game. Your first playthrough and getting the golden ending for the first time. I can never replicate those feelings again, wish I could erase my memories and replay the game from the start.

I wouldn't have met my now husband without Undertale.

(Toxic parts of the fandom aside) The community is possibly one of the kindest I've ever met. Cringe culture is completely dead, and I feel like I can be myself. I felt a very close connection to many of the characters, and I loved consuming content about them when I was in a rough patch in my life.

just everything, the whole game has just impacted my life so much. i know it sounds really lame, but when the game first came out, i would purposely put my hands in my pockets and sway slightly, like sans' idle animation. of course i dont do that anymore haha, but undertale still really impacts me to this day, and i wouldnt have it any other way :)

it made me gay and trans so thanks for that

I realized that Mercy isn't something that's given to those who deserve it. Flowey didn't deserve it. I don't deserve it myself. Shoot, we ALL need Mercy in our lives.

The thing I love most about Undertale is no matter how many times I play or watch a playthrough it always makes me genuinely happy. It always feels welcoming like home or like comfort food that I never grow tired of no matter how many times I go to it. Toriel still makes me feel all warm and cozy in her home, the Skelebros always make me laugh, and I still cry on the inside watching Frisk comforting Asriel. And on the flip side the No Mercy run still invokes the negative emotions in me as well. In short Undertale just feels like a second home to me and I always wish I could stay.

The reader inserts are my favorite way to decompress after a hard day

I think Undertale helped me discover my love for 8-bit games, and made me realize how IMPORTANT music is in video games.

the worldbuilding and character design are my favorite parts of the main game apart from the music! I’m also a huge fan of the random AU music- not for like underswap or underfell i like the stuff where someone makes a megalovania for a random au where gru from despicable me replaces sans as the character. i think its funny

Just... the vibe, honestly? Even the best fics I've read can't capture that feeling of nostalgia/almost-"coming home" that comes with hearing the music and talking to the characters.

there are canon nonbinary characters 🥺. i have never seen representation of myself before.

[SLAMS FIST ON DESK] I KNOW MOST PEOPLE SAY THE FANDOM IS TOXIC AND CRINGE OR WHATEVER BUT OH MY GOD. The Undertale fandom, both the UTMV and the actual UT fandom, has been so much fun to be a part of. I've met countless friends because of our shared interest in something related to the game! The art people create can be breathtaking and so inspirational, and the fanfics are so so good!! I've seen people write incredible things for this fandom and it's what made me continue writing!

There's a scene where Frisk (the player) is going towards what is presumably going to be their death. They will fight Asgore and he will use their human soul to break the barrier and free his people. The music, despite the player's impending doom, is... triumphant. You are not the triumphant one here, and yet, the score invites you to experience the monsters' joy and happiness as they tell you the tale of their subjugation. The monsters are going to be free. This is their victory, but they don't hate you or want you to die. They're just... happy. That scene has always struck me very deeply. I feel it represents the best parts of Undertale.

I loved how well thought out the Geno route was. It really made me feel like I was doing something horrible, and the characters were very obviously reacting to dire circumstances.

I dunno? I like Undertale for it's characters, story, music, secrets and many more. I am not good with Headcanons but I also like the neutral endings and how different they can depending on who you spare and kill

I was very bad at english before, i thought i couldn't progress because i was very shy and not confident. But my sibling and i wanted to have the best experience with this game so we wanted to play it in english. It's this game and the fandom which helped me to make huge progress in english !

THE SOUNDTRACK. IT'S SO GOOD like I will literally go through the entire thing over and over and not be bored with it. It makes my monkey brain so happy you have no idea.

to avoid writing an essay i will say one word. Mettaton

It is like Toby specifically made the games to fit the iceberg meme and it's awesome, everyone can find something to enjoy in the lore/game regardless of what kind of fan they are! Being able to appeal to various types of fans - from simple happy shipper people to deep dive lorediggers is the mark of the coolest games!

I love almost everything about Undertale as a game on its own. The music, the art and especially the characters and how they interact. They made me feel at home. Undertale means a huge amount to me. (I even got a tattoo of the castle when you and MK walk together!) The fandom helped keep the game alive all these years, with all of its AUs. Although personally, I always enjoyed AUs that kept characters as close to the classic material as possible (dancetale, outertale) I do appreciate the creativity of the fandom. They almost created entirely new stories with new characters of their own! If it weren't for those people, the Undertake fandom would have probably not been as active as it is now. I do feel like we're getting a resurgence of classic content now too! (In 2021)

the mystery. toby fox refused to give answers to anything and i think thats very sexy of him.

I just feel guilty for liking it so much when I'm in my 30's. But I recently got diagnosed with ASD, so I guess it explains things a bit. Many ppl consider Papyrus to be neurodivergent, and some adult fans are too, so seeing that makes me feel a bit better.

i think about "Despite everything, it's still you" everyday of my life.

I like how it's just as funny as it can be serious. All routes are this way. I laughed as much as I cried when I played the Pacifist route and then once I opened the game again and Flowey was telling me to let them be happy, I immediately turned off the game. I somehow felt bad.

The Found Family Trope

The True Pacifist Ending is just...man. And the fanworks about saving everyone even when the game doesn't let you? MANNNNNN

I think what I like the most about Undertale is how the music attaches you to the story. They're simple melodies that stick with you throughout the whole game, and they can remind you of both good and bad times.

there's honestly a LOT to love about this game, but i think one of my favorite things about it is just how many lgbt+ characters there are??? i can think of alphys, undyne, frisk, chara, mettaton, napstablook, monster kid, asgore, mad mew mew, the dress lion, the royal guards, and arguably even papyrus off of the top of my head, but im sure i'm forgetting a few from just undertale alone (there's even MORE in deltarune)!! it's practically unheard of to see so MANY from just one source, especially during its heyday in 2015-16. hell, you can't even GET the true pacifist ending without helping two gay couples hook up. it's really nice to see all of them being accepted for who they are and not judged for their sexuality or gender, at least in-canon.

[Image description: A wordcloud in the shape of the capitalized word UNDERTALE. The text is white on a black background, and uses the font found in the game. Some of the most visible words are: Game, Love, Music, Life, AU, Store, Friend, and Feel, which represent the most common words in the essays people wrote about their love for the game. End of ID]

[bonnymori]

𝐒𝐡𝐢𝐤𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐢 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠

Word count: 1200+

Contents/Warnings: (1) Fushiguro Megumi x gn!Reader (2) Classic training but no fighting scene I apologise (3) A... dirty humor joke? (4) Idiot in love cough cough (5) Laidback romance, this may become a pattern on my fanfiction :3

A/N: Hello, I introduce myself as Hara! This is my very first written piece! I would like to apologise for any typos, english is not my first language; that being said, I hope this works out alright! :)

It's around mid afternoon, the sky painted in a vibrant blue with multiple clouds scattered around, Fushiguro recalls having started training right after lunch; he politely declined Maki's suggestion of training together, it wasn't about strength or fighting hand to hand today, the struggle was his shikigami. Lately, he's been having problems over teamwork - before, he thought such a thing was impossible, since all of the shikigami were under one will alone, being his. Yet the amount of times the divine dogs have bumped into eachothers, sometimes Nue would simply skip past the target, not paying attention to it at all.

Or perhaps, he himself was to blame. Fushiguro likes thinking about you, more than he'd admit, but now it's starting to distract for real. That's what he need, to think of you- I mean, concentration! And maybe, new group attacks, that would do nicely, too.

He's been beating a tedious dummy for a hour and half now, maybe more. After managing to make up a combo or two, he sits down on the grass, just to breathe for a moment. Breathing is nice, he observes as the divine dogs go slack like their owner, now playing around with one another rather than chewing the dummies stuffing. His black and white snake is watching the banter between the canine shikigamis, tongue coming in and out just like a real snake. Nue settles upon the dummies ragged body, eyes closed- peacefully enjoying sunbathing. Fushiguro had no idea they were so lively until now, now he knew why people constantly asked if they could pet his shikigami.

He glances down at the frog supporting his arm, it's like they enjoy just laying on grass, just breathing like him.

"How many buddies out! Are you training today, Fushiguro?"

At the sound of your voice, you bet his lips casually turn upwars in a casual yet small smile. Kugisaki saw it from distance once, says she it's almost a robotic response.

"Yes, I'm training their cooperation." Fushiguro replies, swiftly getting up. He notices the frog from earlier making a beeline to you, as if to say hello.

So you crouch down and pets it briefly, smiling at the small creature.

"That ought to be hard, specially with a innefective dummy." You approach its remains, chuckling at all the stuffing and cloth scattered around. "Make me your target instead!"

Say what?

"I uh, come again?"

"I'll do the running and dodging, it's much practical this way!"

He has trouble accepting that, even if it's true. You mean more than an ally on his heart, and besides, that's some Itadori-level-recklessy. So he groans, slightly irritated and obviously, worried for your safety. "You'll get hurt."

"Don't we get hurt everyday? Even if there is an accident, I know you'll call them out and help me quickly, you notice things fast."

He does, Fushiguro would help you in a heartbeat- probably faster.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, lash out on me!"

Putting 'lash' and 'me' in the same phrase got heat rising on his ears, but he complied nonetheless. "Just letting you know, I'll stand here and the shikigami attacks."

You protest. "Wouldn't it be better if you fought among them?"

"For today, I'd like to focus on their compatibility only."

"Oh, got it! Next time we can work on the latter option then!" Next time. He wants there to be a next time.

Even though you're the one troubling his mind in battles, he's head over heels. He remembers when it all started, your relationship is basically pools worth of quality time. You came along with Itadori, tangled into the mess back in Sendai. Strangely, Fushiguro clicked with you even faster than Itadori- your collected personality was a great factor, even though you are just as cheerful as the cherry boy.

"You're spacing out, what's up?"

Fushiguro's gaze snapped up to meet yours, realizing his mistake. "Ah, nothing, let's start." His hands folded as your guard rose, so it begun. If you noticed his lame excuse, you didn't comment about it.

The ravenette was pleasantly relieved how easily you could deceive and dodge his attacks, his shikigami may leave a tear or two on your clothes, that he didn't have to worry about, because they're easily fixable. Naturally, the toughest for you to dodge was mostly his snake, sometimes Nue would surprise you from above, nothing you couldn't handle. He started intensing up using the combined attacks, and immediately noticed your faltering steps, earning a bruise on your calf. Although neither he or you stopped, adrenaline rushing through veins nonstop.

You somehow finished training with a bite mark over your forehead, not deep enough to be worth worry. The instant your bodies came to slack, his shikigami ran to you like little children lost in a supermarket. At this point, it was pratically multitasking, to pet both demon dogs while trying not to run out of breath having Orochi wrapped around your midsection. Megumi flushed over the affectionate antics, knowing they were a manifestation of feelings within himself.

Now, you and Fushiguro are spawled on the training field, neither showered, coated with sweat sticking to your clothes, but it didn't matter much.

"I never realized, just how many cursed energy do you have? It's surprising how many shikigami you kept our for this long time." Fushiguro heard you shifting to sit up, and followed you up.

"A bunch." It was not a creative nor informative answer, but you took it in with a smile on your face anyway.

He watched you get up to fetch a drink, careful to not trip over the shikigami also scattered around -- Fushiguro always 'forgot' to put them away next to you.

You handed him a strawberry yogurt box, the same drink also sat in your hands. "Well then, why are you spacing out so much these days? You can be honest with me."

'She's oblivious enough, I'm in need of advice, it's convenient.' So he thought, figuring if he disguised it enough, you wouldn't be able to tell. It's not a big deal if you did, though, saves time actually.

"Something's on my mind, and it troubles me during fights."

"Simple, you can just come in terms with it."

He glanced down, "Why?"

"The sooner the better, when you accept something, it comes at ease on your mind. I'm a hundred percent sure it works!" You gave him a thumbsup, slurping on the pink drink.

"Such faithful source."

"I'm sure it does! The thought keeps coming back because you're denying it, am I wrong?"

Not really, no. Fushiguro wants to keep it as friendship for the sake of your both careers within the jujutsu world; he knows it's dangerous, yet a part of him just wants to say 'fuck it', like if he had the guts to. The ravenette thinks it's a way too much generic way to describe what he feels, but it's the easiest, so he goes with it anyway. The back of his brain fears rejection, part of the reason why he hasn't made a move yet.

"I'll try it out."

"Good!" And you're always supportive no matter what, to the point it charms him more and more everyday.

For now, he's okay keeping it platonic. But, when the day after tomorrow comes, he just might confess.

[ivesambrose]

Yes, I'm back with another pick a card!

This was suggested to me an anon, so anon if you're reading this a big shout out to you :)

This is aimed at singles but know what? Take what you will.

Note: These images are from the deck apps I own on my phone. ❤️

Decks used are : housewives tarot, pagan cats tarot and tarot Mucha respectively.

Pick a card that you feel drawn to or reminds you of something significant.

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at jovescorpioreadings@gmail.com

1.

People only take and take don't they?

Till you have ran out of things to give but they still knock at your door looking for scraps. At this point you're just exhausted and closed the door tight.

You decided it's time for a change. A glow up, if you will? And why not? You deserve to look forward to a better fate. Not this. You're conserving energy or have been doing so for quite some time. You've been wishing and being patient but most of all I see you become some what unattainable? You're standards have gone up. Good for you!

I feel you've caught the eyes of an admirer or maybe several or that's soon to happen. Water, air, fire it seems. You're luminous, bewitching and a bit out of reach. I believe focused a lot on work mostly or building something for yourself, working out even? It's like you've reached the point of, "damn you know whose a full course meal? Me myself."  I also see you busy reading or writing? Listening to music. Honestly just chilling and studying even maybe. 

I think there are multiple people coming to you, one swiftly, other dying to reach out or coming in steadily. The one you choose would feel like a reflection of yourself whose beauty will stand out more instead of the flaws. This will be someone who looks up to you and is honestly really good looking? Not just that, they're exciting, artistic and really charming. I think you'll be flooded with affection soon but then again there's nothing than you can't give yourself you feel me?

To manifest, simply have a child like wonder to yourself and do as you please. Really do what makes you happy, learn something, sell something that brings you abundance, stay in that zone of high standard. I also see you assisting and Guiding people in some way? I feel whatever this love you desire is coming to you, its not something you have to chase or count calender dates for.

2. That betrayal would cut you deep or already has. You should have listened but it's okay, once the wound is exposed it makes it easier to heal.

It's alright, not the end of the world but the start of your growth. How else would you have learnt? No, you just sat there settling and convincing yourself that this is perfect, your bridge of light led by flowers and butterflies. But life will sometimes pick you away from your box and scream at you to stop equating convinience and companionship to and endgame.

But you know what? Now that you're here I see you either spending more time with or around animals. Buying something new for yourself (attire and accessories), maybe wanting a new look. Your intuition will peak, you'll see or dream of things you weren't aware of earlier.

Some of you are deliberately avoiding confronting a desire or emotion. It's right there but you're trying to escape it. This won't last long.

Also stop burying yourself in work. You need a balance. Mind, body and heart. Come on, no extremes right now. As for love? It's right there. In the most unexpected way, right there shimmering like a ball and you're just like, 'I pretend I do not see.' okay.. Why though?

How long are you going to doubt yourself to oblivion? I sense Earth and water placements? This person seems shy, but ambitious, a giver, very funny, very crackhead humour but talks like they've been alive for too long. They mean well though, super caring. Really pretty features but eyes seem either intense or dewy and dreamy. Might have a water moon or rising. Wiill happen at a time where you feel you're stuck in limbo or just dunno what's going on. Calm before the storm types.

Manifest through creative expression, art, writing and self love + self worth. You do deserve more. I'm not plaster this on your wall if you don't listen to me.

3. So... You know, you know you're connecting the dots right?

You know the two dots are connecting even though the entire chart looks like Peter Parker randomly shot webs everywhere and you're Nick Fury, done with literally everything so you're just being patient or just going on about your day and life.

See, your intuition and higher self / subconscious whatever you believe in already knows.

Either you're seeing it too, have an inner knowing about it and are actively trying to not confront it or just laughing at off cuz haha me? Grand things? Haha why?

Haha yes. That's why.

I think you question yourself a lot, "do I deserve someone spectacular like that? Shouldn't I just stay in my lane?" but still you're the type who rejects a lot of people. I believe you look for a sense of home in a person but still want to be left rather free?

Either this person coming in or you're thinking/trying to manifest seem a bit larger than life to you? Maybe out of your league? So you're either sticking with the one you're dating for now or just 'I'm gonna be the latest single MYSELF' or 'nah what you talking about I'm good.' or max to max, 'I dunno if we'll ever meet and be together so idk ha :)'

This love seems like the perfect balance for you in some way yet excites you and pulls you in at the same time so you are or would be unsure if this is your brain or hormones or feelings on maximum overdrive or it's something legit. That's perfectly fine, things will eitherway play out.

I see some of you fixated on a personal venture or project, tending to it and hoping it grows big? I see that some of you may want to look after their health and body too. I see fixation of skincare products too. I see research work for something as well? You tend to be a lot in your space when you work so the world around usually switches off. That's why you don't know what's around the corner for you and that could just be that one thing you've been waiting for.

I see a long time manifestion that is actually coming in NOW so suddenly you don't know what to do about it?

Honestly, chill. Take a bath. Bake something?

I feel whatever this is, is unavoidable and will manifest anyway.

This is the kind of love that grabs you by the hand and makes you dance even if you have two left feet. Brace yourself, know that it's here.