#sometimes a family is a heartbroken man and his seven adoptive children

[writings-of-a-narwhal]

thinking abt the dynamics of Culraes’ adoptive family and 

Warin, of course, is the father. he’s the one who has taken everyone in and raised them as best he can but the love of his life Jeris doesn’t approve of Warin’s way of raising kids bc Warin lets them learn to fight while Jeris the man who began the revolution and caused a teenaged Athum to kill his father feels like kids need to be protected from the horrors of war. Warin knows these kids he’s taking in have already been scarred by war and there’s no recovering from it, so he helps them deal with their trauma by either learning to fight or other ways to express themselves.

Lei-ya is the first child that Warin took in. she’s not a fighter, not a soldier. she has a devotion to the deities of Issera and worships them with her whole heart. she’s not the completely innocent lass that people would think she is. when her younger siblings go out to fight, she prays for them, for their victory, for them to return safely. when she’s at home with her siblings, she talks to them and cares for them, specifically Tasiriti.

Bau is the second child that Warin takes in, and Jayi is their younger sibling. Bau is a dragon rider. kind, passionate, and takes no shit. they are an archer, strong and concentrated. they’re willing to fight if need be, but they aren’t a soldier. they keep an eye on the land for attacks and get a dragon’s view of things from the sky and help formulate plans. they tend to be on fairly good terms with most of their siblings, but especially Jayi.

Jayi is the third child Warin took in, or...the second. she came along with Bau. Jayi is much more violent than the other two already taken in. she’s more obviously Dragonborne than Bau, and it presents itself in some dragon-like appearances and a thirst for blood. that’s not to say that all dragons are bloodthirsty. Jayi is definitely a soldier, and a good one. fighting and cooking are her two best skills, and Culraes is her best friend and number one competitor. she also teams up with Sazai at times and protects all of her siblings. she is the one who is put in charge of Warin’s forces.

Culraes wasn’t the fourth child taken in, but he is the next in line age wise. he and Jayi are the same age. Culraes has more unbridled rage than Jayi when it comes to fighting. he’s awkward and gruff and brash and yet he loves his new family. Tasiriti is his favorite, she holds the soft place in his heart and he will protect her no matter what. Warin has had to help him the most, as Culraes had an arm amputated early on in his time with his adoptive father, so they have a good relationship.

Sazai is next in line age-wise. she is...something else. she steals everyone’s food and is a general annoyance, but it’s all in good humor. however, the moment someone threatens anyone she cares about, they will face a wrath like nothing else. she is the one who handles the torturing for their side of the war. she may be young, but she has methods that are very effective. she also is Tasiriti’s self-designated body guard. 

Tasiriti...is amazing. she's the youngest of the kids Warin has and he's had her since she was a baby. she's about thirteen now. she wants to be a healer, to help her elder siblings, to be of some use without being on the battlefield herself. she holds a place in the hearts of all her siblings and she wants to deserve that position. her hands shake and fear pounds in her veins, but she runs out onto the battlefield and tries to heal fallen soldiers. she just tries the best she can

[too-attached-to-fiction]

Finding Family

Summary:            

Logan really wants kids and Virgil doesn't know how to say no to his husband.

Plus, it doesn't help that the kids Thomas befriends need their support.

Notes:    

we made another found family au because I can't get enough of it and Clam indulges me.

Updates will probably be inconsistent because we want to make each part longer, so bookmark/ask to be tagged on Tumblr!

I need fan art of this too if anyone wants to do that.....

Welcome back, readers!

Nox

READ ON AO3

~~~

Logan Sanders enjoyed getting up early.

There was something about the way the dew settled on the windows and plants, the slow sunrise. The world was quiet, and even though Earth spun 1,000 miles an hour, things seemed to stand still.

He wasn’t always an early riser, but he liked being up during hours that no one else was. On the few days he slept in, he only felt more tired. In his opinion, Logan had better things to do than sleep.

Besides, the mornings were for appreciating simple things.

Logan glanced down at his side, where his husband, Virgil, snored quietly. The purple streaks he’d had in his hair during their early grad-school years had long faded, although the morning sun showed where it used to be. Logan gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead before getting ready for the rest of the day.

Virgil was the complete opposite of Logan, in a good way. He preferred late nights and midnight snacks the same way Logan preferred early sunrises and bitter coffee. Maybe it made sense, considering Logan’s teaching career. He needed to be up early anyways.

The kindergarteners Logan was currently teaching required a lot of energy. And while his sleep schedule was nothing short of exact, he always needed some sort of caffeine to make sure he didn’t drift off during class.

His eyes landed on his computer the minute he had his coffee mug in hand. Even though he spent his work days surrounded by kids, it wasn’t the same as parenting. He and Virgil had been discussing it since they got married, but it seemed that they would never have the right timing. Their careers were barely getting started, and there was no way they could ignore their stack of student loans that threatened to swallow them in debt. Still…

Logan had time. According to the clock on the oven, it was only seven. He didn’t need to be at the elementary school until eight-thirty. Maybe if he just looked into it, did his research, they could adopt.

Maybe.

~~~

“What’s this?” Virgil asked that evening, rifling through a stack of brochures Logan had left on the table. “Foster-to-adopt… Logan?” He glanced over at his husband, who was trying to feign innocence. “Do you want to tell me what’s with these flyers?”

“I just thought we could look into it.” He tried to be as nonchalant as he could, eyes flickering back and forth between Virgil and his laptop. “Nothing set in stone.”

“Lo, we’re not even financially stable enough to buy a second car, much less adopt. A kid is a life-long investment, and we both know how harsh the system is for those kids.” For a brief while in university, Virgil had debated on becoming a social worker. But that kind of work was rough on all sides, and the results were heavily varied. “And even if we fostered, they could easily take the kid away from us at any point, given the parents are still alive. Would you want to deal with that kind of heartbreak?”

“I thought you wanted kids too.” Logan frowned, not wanting to acknowledge Virgil’s points.

“I do, but I don’t know… I don’t want you to get your heartbroken if it doesn’t work out.”

“We’ll be helping them. You’re a lawyer because you want to help everyone and because you hated the idea of working in a hospital. Why not help these kids?”

Virgil looked at Logan. “The point of foster care is to be temporary guardians while their birth parents fix whatever issues they have. It’s selfless and sometimes, you get nothing in return. Are you sure about this?”

“Yes.” The two stared at each other for a minute, silently waiting for the other to back down. When it was clear that wasn’t the case, Virgil sighed and rubbed his eyes.

“You’re doing all the research.” He mumbled, kissing Logan on the cheek before walking off to start dinner. “And scheduling the classes.”

“Mhm.”

Once Virgil was convinced, Logan made quick work to find the right organizations. He contacted the state’s adoption resource exchange organization and was guided to parenting classes. Any waking hour not spent teaching was spent studying for the classes and making sure the house was fit for kids.

The house the couple currently lived in was larger than most would expect from recent grad students, with six bedrooms and two studies. This had been the house Virgil had grown up in, and recently inherited. While he was generally estranged from his parents towards the ends of their lives, neither of them wanted to sell the house. Virgil, to his credit, couldn’t let go of the property either. Logan hadn’t bothered to press, but he knew that despite the bad relationship between Virgil and his parents, this was all he had left of them.

All in all, space wasn’t a problem.

The problem with what Virgil liked to refer to as “the McMansion” was that a lot of the rooms had been unused for years. Dust covered practically any space that Virgil and Logan didn’t use on a daily basis. When Logan was alone, he could practically feel the emptiness around him.

It took a month to fix up the other rooms. All of them were livable spaces, just dusty and old. Virgil took the liberty of throwing out things, always rolling his eyes at the space. “It was just the three of us, I don’t understand why they didn’t get a smaller house. Our neighbors must think we’re an old rich couple about to kick the bucket.” He grumbled one day, making Logan chuckle.

“Regardless, it’s a nice space to grow up in. It’ll be nice to have children running around.”

“Children? Plural?” Virgil nearly sputtered, and Logan laughed again. “I don’t care what you think, we’re starting with one. God, can you imagine the young het-couples who have to deal with three babies all at once?”

“Triplets.” Logan clarified, trying to hide another laugh. “They manage.”

“No wonder the world’s a mess.”

This time, Logan didn’t bother hiding his laughter.

~~~

The day they got Thomas, it was raining. Virgil was fretting over the details last minute as they waited for Adri, their social worker, to come by with Thomas.

“He’s, like, three? Right? What do three year olds like? Video games? TV?” Virgil paced back and forth in the living room. Logan, who had had enough of Virgil’s panicking, stood in front of his husband, clasping Virgil’s shaking hands in his.

“The toys are all in his room, and we agreed he’s not getting anywhere near a screen until he’s five.” Logan reminded Virgil calmly. “I’m making dinner today, and tomorrow isn’t a school day, so we don’t need to worry about transportation yet. But the car seat is already strapped in the car and I double-checked to make sure it’s secure.”

“But what if he has allergies or doesn’t like us or-”

Logan looked at his husband with a smile. “We’ve made it this far. We can’t give up now.” Before he could say anything else, the doorbell rang.

Logan was the first to reach the door, leaving a nervous Virgil behind him as he opened it. “Hi, Adri.”

Thomas seemed small for his age, but he definitely checked off the boxes in everything Logan and Virgil had wanted in a kid. His big, brown eyes stared up at Logan.

The teacher bent down to Thomas’s height with a smile. “Hi, Thomas. I’m Logan. You can call me Dad, if you want.”

Thomas shuffled behind Adri, although his eyes still peeked out at Logan. The older man stood back up. “Why don’t you come in?” He offered, stepping out of the way so the two could walk inside.

“Hi!” Virgil was a bundle of nerves, trying to avoid sweaty hands and hyperventilating. “Can we get either of you anything to eat or drink? We have orange juice and water and coffee and milk and we can probably make chocolate milk-”

“That’s alright.” Adri said, shooting him a warm smile. “I was hoping one of you could play with Thomas while we discuss some final notes?”

“I’ll do it. I think legal matters are more of Virgil’s thing anyways.” Logan said. “Thomas, do you want to see your new room?” The little boy nodded eagerly, carefully walking to Logan.

“Now I want you to remember that we’re trying to make this permanent, but the process could take up to thirty months.” Adri reminded Virgil. “You guys are looking good so far, and I don’t doubt you’ll be good parents. I brought a list of things that the agency has you follow, but truthfully, I think you’ll be okay.”

Virgil nodded, trying to ignore the lump in his throat. This was really happening. They had a child in their care now.

Upstairs, Logan sat on the floor of Thomas’s room as the boy explored. He quickly figured out what his favorite stuffed animal was (a stuffed brown dog) and towed it around in a cradle-hold as he looked at the other toys. Unlike most kids, Thomas seemed to brush off all of the toys until he got to the dress-up chest. He opened it as if he was opening a treasure chest.

“Careful with the top, buddy.” Logan said, his kindergarten teacher coming out as he crawled across the room and held the top of the chest up so Thomas could look through the clothes.

Thomas pulled out a fireman’s jacket and hat. Carefully, he set them on the ground and put the jacket on. The sleeves covered his hands but it didn’t matter. Logan closed the chest and put the hat on Thomas’s head.

“Are we firefighters today?” Logan asked, and Thomas grinned.

“Fighting fire!” He pumped his fist in the air, and Logan smiled.

“I don’t think there are any fires here, but why don’t we go look at the other rooms and check?” Logan led Thomas out of the room. They proceeded to check every room, closet, and window in the house, and by the time they made it to the kitchen, Adri and Virgil were finished talking.

“Do you want to stay here, Thomas?” Adri asked, kneeling down to the little boy’s height. The three adults smiled as he nodded with a shy smile.

“They’re going to take care of you, okay? That means you have to be good for them, too. Got it, firefighter Thomas?” They raised the rim of the plastic hat, only for him to nod again and have it fall back down.

“I’ll visit in one week for an inspection, but everything seems okay at the moment. Call me if you have any questions.” Adri said as they walked them to the door. “Alright, see you soon!” She waved as Virgil shut the door.

“Hey, Thomas. I’m Virgil, but you can call me Dad.” The boy looked up at the two men, confused.

“But I thought he was Dad.” Thomas pointed at Logan.

“You can call us Virgil and Logan, or you can call me Papa and you can call Virgil Dad.” Logan said with a smile. “Whatever you want is okay with us. We’re gonna eat dinner and then it’s bath and bedtime, alright? Can we pick you up?”

“Yeah. Why do you have to ask that?”

Virgil picked him up. “Well, you see, there’s something very important called consent…”

~~~

Sunday flew by and Monday arrived, with Thomas’s first day of preschool bright and early. Thomas happily ate a breakfast of cereal in his firefighter’s jacket while this time, it was Logan panicking.

“Logan, you work next to his preschool.” Virgil reminded his husband, sipping watered down, sugary coffee as he watched Logan zoom around the kitchen. “And anyways, he doesn’t need to bring anything to preschool besides a lunch and a toy. We’ll drop him off together before your school starts.”

Virgil was the one to help Thomas into his shoes as Logan packed everyone’s lunches. He made sure to write a note for each before grabbing his bag and Virgil’s briefcase.

“Are you excited for your first day of school, buddy?” Virgil asked as he attached the velcro that adorned Thomas’s shoes together. “You get to go to preschool and make friends.”

“But what about you and Papa?” Thomas asked, and Virgil felt his heart melt at the words.

“Papa and I have work to go to. Kids go to school and adults go to work.” Virgil explained simply. “You’re all set. Are you sure you want to bring the firefighter jacket with you?”

Thomas nodded eagerly and Virgil chuckled.

“L, we gotta go!” He called out, scooping Thomas up in his arms. “Don’t want Thomas to be late for his first day of school!”

“Have you seen my lesson plans?”

“Sweetheart, they’re in your bag already. We’ll wait in the car!” Virgil yelled back, walking out to Logan’s SUV with Thomas. Logan had insisted they would need a big car, but now Virgil understood why. A big car and a big house meant more room for kids. Internally, he smacked himself on the forehead.

“Why is Papa running around?” Thomas asked as Virgil adjusted him on his hip for better access to the car keys. He unlocked the doors and opened one in the back so he could put the little boy in his car seat.

“Papa’s nervous about your first day of school.” Virgil replied, putting Thomas into the car seat and fumbling a little with the straps and seat belt.

“But why?”

“Well, he doesn’t want to leave you alone, but he’s only right next door to your school. And in a few years, he’ll be in the next classroom from you.” Virgil explained simply, finally buckling everything together and relaxing his shoulders. “He’s worried because he loves you.”

“Why aren’t you worried?” Virgil chuckled at the question.

“Because I love you just as much, and I think you’re a brave little firefighter who’s going to make a lot of friends.” Virgil smiled.

Ten minutes later, they arrived at the preschool. Virgil pulled into the parking lot and parked faster and more accurately than Logan had ever seen Virgil do. Virgil was the one who unbuckled Thomas’s seatbelt and helped him to the ground.

Logan grabbed his backpack and lunch and followed the two, watching as Virgil leaned one of his arms down so that Thomas could take Virgil’s hand in his.

Once they reached the main classroom, Logan caught up to them. The teacher, one of Logan’s coworkers, smiled warmly at them.

“Hi, Val.” He said awkwardly, but her attention was already on Thomas.

“You must be Thomas.” She said, kneeling down. “We’re gonna have a fun day today. But first, do you want to say goodbye to your dads?”

“Do I have to say goodbye forever?” Thomas asked, eyes wide and ready to overflow.

“No, they’ll be here to pick you up in a little while when they finish their work.” Valerie assured him, then looked at Logan pointedly. “In fact, I’m sure you’ll see your Papa a lot when you’re on the playground.”

“Okay. Goodbye, Dad and Papa.” The two husbands knelt down to give their goodbye hugs and kisses before Thomas walked into the classroom.

Valerie placed a hand on Logan’s shoulder. “Hey, I know it’s hard for parents to let go when their kid starts school, but-”

“Stay out of the way.” Logan finished in a huff. He witnessed it at the beginning of every school year with the kindergartners. Some kicked and screamed; most of the time, the ones doing so were the mothers.

“He’ll be okay. I’ll look out for him.” Valerie dropped her hand to her side and gave them both a comforting smile. “I’ll see you guys at three for pick up.” She promised.

Logan took one last look over his shoulder to see Thomas excitedly talking to a pair of boys in the classroom.

He’d be alright.

~~~

Taglist:

@plinamiismyotp @elementalshadowwitch @idkanameatall @zaisling @sunshineandspecs @bucketsofclams

[deputytremblay]

oh hi there, welcome to holiday, JACQUES “JACK” TREMBLAY. oh wait, you’ve been here. has anyone ever told you that you look like DANIEL LISSING? you’re MALE and use HE/HIM? just checking. and you’ve been here for TWELVE YEARS? you’re THIRTY-FIVE too, right? just curious. you work over at THE SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT still? you know people say you’re OBSERVANT & KIND, but INTROVERTED & PRIVATE so i guess take that with a grain of salt. well, at least i do know you’re excited for ST. JOHN THE BAPTIST DAY.

& BASICS.

FULL NAME: Jacques Phillipe Tremblay NICKNAME(S): Jack DOB: October 4th, 1983 AGE: thirty-five FROM: Montreal, Canada OCCUPATION: sheriff’s deputy ORIENTATION: homosexual SOCIAL STATUS: middle class NOW PLAYING: Bobcaygeon by The Tragically Hip

& HISTORY.

tw for: murder, mental illness, brief non-descript mention of self harm

HEADLINE: JEAN-PAUL BAUDELAIRE, MURDERER IN THE CANARY MASSACRE, CONSIDEREDTO BE “NOT LEGALLY RESPONSIBLE DUE TO MENTAL ILLNESS”

Anton Baudelaire (hereby referred to as “Jack”) was born & raised in Montreal, Canada. He was the second of three children, all of whom grew under the loving eyes of their parent. Over the first seven years of his life, Jack’s father — Jean-Paul Baudelaire — became increasingly erratic. Though they were, for the most part, a happy family, something was growing. Something dark and unpredictable. One day a young Jack came home to discover his papa had murdered their entire family. The boy only barely escaped his father’s blade. Jean-Paul then went on a killing spree. This spree was dubbed the CANARY MASSACRE. His father was found not criminally responsible by reason of mental disorder. That was how Jack discovered his father suffered from SCHIZOPHRENIA.

He was then put into adoptive care. Though, Jack was never adopted and was frequently bullied by the other children at the orphanage due his connection with the mass murderer. At the age of fifteen he decided to run away. Jack was forced to fend for himself — he spent a year living on the streets. During this time, he came across a dead body in the woods. The boy was similar enough in age and likeness to the homeless orphan, so he deposed of the body in a secluded lake and took on a new identity. The corpse’s name was JACQUES TREMBLAY.

Following that, Jack joined the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, more out of desperation than patriotism. He served for a number of years. He loved it. His fellow mounties became his family and slowly, Jack grew a little softer. He smiled more. He thought this was the place for him.

But then, he started acting differently. Having symptoms he recognized from his childhood. The same ones his father had had. Jack learned, at the age of twenty-three that he also suffered from schizophrenia. Though his disorder was quickly medicated, it was still enough to have him discharged from the RCMP. 

Jack was so heartbroken, he left the country, for fear that he would continue seeing glimpses of the world he had so loved. He moved to town. It was a hard transition, but he was a fighter. He learned from the mistakes he had seen. He might have hated the illness carried, but that didn’t make him a bad person. Inspired by his days in the RCMP, Jack took on a job working for the sheriff and is now hellbent on protecting the town.

& MISC.

His condition differs from his fathers in that the voices Jack hears are self loathing. While he is of no risk to others, he is a risk to himself.

We support a boy who’s struggling with his mental illness and has a lot of internalized hatred. Sometimes he thinks of himself as a monster and i’m here to tell you that just ain’t so. He deserves the fucking world.

No one in town knows about his condition. Its a secret he plans to take to his grave.

When he moved, “Jacques” morphed into “Jack”. He’s long ago given up the battle of pronunciation with the townsfolk.

I love this man ok he’s v soft and he has a dog named Eliza & she helps him protecc the town.

[liliheartbeat]

JESSIE J TALKS TO THE TIMES!

The most honest interview 💕

---------------------------------------------------

The singer Jessie J has always worn her heart on her sleeve. Nine years ago, when she was proudly bisexual, she cast her female lover in the video for her breakthrough hit, Do It Like A Dude. In 2014, as she migrated towards heterosexuality, she announced the change with a forthright tweet: ‘I fancy/date/love men and only men’. It’s no surprise that with romance again in the air, her new boyfriend looms large in her conversation.

“I’m thinking about calling my next tour ‘Magic Mike and I’ and having Chan open for me as a stripper,” she cackles. “He’d do it too! That would sell some tickets, eh?”

“Chan” is the American actor Channing Tatum, star of the 2012 comedy Magic Mike as well as such box-office hits as 21 Jump Street and Foxcatcher. The 31-year-old Jessie, born Jessica Cornish, rearranges the hem of her figure-hugging brown dress when she talks about Tatum. They have been dating since last autumn.

Then, as if by magic, he texts.

“Aw, he wants to know what suit he should wear for his meeting,” she chuckles, gazing lovingly at her screen.

It seems safe to ask how they met.

“Uh uh, no,” she says. “Chan and I got photographed before our relationship was even a thing and that created such pressure. We’ve needed time to get to know each other. We’ve just had our first holiday together, which was wonderful, but that’s all I’m saying.”

Is it fair to say she is happy living on 21 Jump Street?

“Oh I am very happy on 21 Jump Street! I always look for a guy with a good sense of humour and good morals. And hygiene. A man who showers is very important.”

It’s almost ten years since Essex-born Cornish became famous with her self-penned hits Do it Like a Dude and Price Tag. She was a contemporary of Adele’s at the Brit performing arts school, and enjoyed Top Ten album success in the UK and US. Yet in the UK she seemed to get bogged down in pointless debates over her sexual preferences (she was heavily criticised for explaining her bisexuality as a “phase”), and moved to the US in 2014.

“First and foremost I regret ever tweeting it was a phase,” she says.

Why apologise? It was a phase, wasn’t it?

“It’s a hurtful expression for some. But I was young. Aged 19, I was madly in love with a woman and I moved in with her. She was not my first girlfriend either. I was heartbroken when that relationship ended, but then I dated guys and women. I was a young woman experimenting between the ages of 20 and 30 like anyone should.”

Behind the scenes, life has become quite serious for the singer. Cornish has struggled with a heart condition called Wolff-Parkinson-White syndrome since she was eight years old, and suffered a minor stroke in 2015, forcing the cancellation of some tour dates. Then she was diagnosed with adenomyosis, a condition in which the inner lining of the womb breaks through the muscle wall. It can cause agonising stomach cramps and heavy periods. It can also indicate a heightened risk of miscarriage or premature birth. It was a brutal blow.

“The pain I’ve been through with this disease is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to face,” she says. “I get severe pain, which I have to manage, and psychologically, well, having children was always a big thing for me. I may be infertile, which, not gonna lie, would be devastating.”

Adenomyosis doesn’t preclude having children, but doctors offered her a hysterectomy, so I can only conclude that her case is serious. She declined the operation and instead pinned her hopes on a change of diet. She hasn’t eaten sugar for four years, and two years ago she went vegan.

“Basically, I am still hoping. Some days it seems possible I might have children and others not. I have to accept that becoming a mother is going to be a battle.”

Cornish is disarmingly frank. She has even channelled her anguish into a song called Four Letter Word. “Baby” is the four-letter word in question. The lyrics address her feelings of heartbreak to a notional child: “I pray I get the chance to bloom,” she sings, “cause someone’s ready for me, waiting to feel all my love and make you with me.”

She isn’t about to discuss whether Tatum might be waiting, but she has met his six-year-old daughter, Everly, from a previous relationship. I suggest that must have been hard.

“God no! She’s just six and absolutely lovely,” she says.

Of course there are other ways she could have children . . .

“Oh yeah, I might go down the route of adoption or even surrogacy. I pray I have children the natural way, but if not, I’ll deal with it.”

Cornish has just returned to our screens as a judge on ITV’s The Voice Kids, a junior version of the adult singing talent show. She beams at the very idea of mentoring 7 to 14-year-olds.

“Oh my God, when a seven-year-old sings a solo you just want to cuddle them. It’s a totally different feel to the adult version of the show.” Cornish was a judge for four years on this version too, before she left in 2013.

Cornish is warm, funny and open. It seems extraordinary that another journalist last year charged her with an “unbearable earnestness and an astonishing lack of humility”.

“Oh, but I cringe how loud I was in the past sometimes,” she says.

She once complained that the UK didn’t take her voice seriously. Nevertheless, she has established a global career. Tomorrow she flies to perform in Romania, then returns to London briefly before setting off to her second home in Los Angeles.

“I’ve been performing since I was a kid, so to me life is work work work. Obviously my health issues mean I’ve had to learn balance. I now have Sundays off. I wake, have a probiotic, then a celery juice. After that it’s breakfast and then a workout. If I’m in London I Iike to walk through the city and then I’ll go home, meditate and then cook.”

In LA the weather is more reliable. She might head off camping or hiking for the weekend.

“I’m happy outdoors and I’m happy around people. Don’t I look happy to you?”

I’d say she looks reasonably content. But then her phone pings again. A broad grin speeds across her face. Now she looks happy.

The Voice Kids continues tonight on ITV1 at 8pm

JESSIE J’S PERFECT WEEKEND

Pilates or personal trainer?

Personal trainer

Clubbing or pubbing? 

Pubbing, but no alcohol

Spa retreat or cultural city break?

City break

Soy chai latte or builders’ tea?

Peppermint please

Signature dish?

Vegan mac’n’cheese

What’s your screensaver?

A picture of my family

Love Island or Scandi box set

Love Island

I couldn’t get through my weekend without . . . 

Comfy clothes

[echosdelamour]

FOLKS it’s me again, Mint, with everybody’s mother/stepmother Echo.

I love this character because she comes with a billion built-in plots, so come to me, children. (Pretend that didn’t sound like some terrifying witch in a gingerbread house, thank you.)

Echo is 36, French af even though she was born and raised in Manhattan, and the beloved (not so much) stepmother of our dearly departed Mallory. 

More about her under the cut! 

Echo is young and beautiful, and you wouldn’t know to look at her that she’s been a mom for most of her life. Instead of saying it for flattery, people genuinely do think she’s her children’s sister, which embarrasses all of them.

She was barely sixteen when her first baby was born. It was a scandal, of course, but the Levesque family always had a great PR team, being a family of models and actors for generations. Once her parents got over the shock, they got excited, and Echo was sure [FirstChild] was the most loved baby in the whole world.

She loved [FirstChild] more than anything on the planet, which was saying something. Echo has always been absolutely overflowing with love for everyone and everything, to the point of extreme naivete. She loved art and beauty and animals (especially her horses), and she loved her boyfriend Anthony. So much that she was more happy than scared the second time she got pregnant.

[FirstChild] was only 9 months old when Echo got pregnant again, with a beautiful baby girl, who she named Fleur. She didn’t think her heart could handle more love, but Fleur was an angel from the day she was born. Everything was chaotic and loud but perfect... for a year. And then Anthony left for school in England, claiming to want a fresh start. A new life. 

Left to raise two kids on her own (with the help of her parents and multiple nannies, of course, but still), Echo was heartbroken. She (very dramatically) swore never to love again, and she didn’t even look at another man (or woman) for seven years.

But then she saw him. He wasn’t rich, or powerful. He wasn’t even single. Everything in the world, and in her mind, reminded her of the vow she’d made - not to mention the vows he’d made. But true love is like a freight train sometimes. Just knocks down everything in its path.

He was so great with her kids. She knew he had kids of his own, and she eventually met them. Their reaction was to blame her for the crumbling of their parents’ marriage, which she understood, and kept her distance. But the unending river of love she still had spread to them, too.

They were married three months after his divorce was finalized. The kids, thrilled to have a ‘real-life father’ stood by Echo as she said her vows.

The freight train of true love hit them again three years later when Javi came into their lives. He needed them, and they needed him, and their complicated family got a little more complicated but a little more complete when he was adopted.

She tried her best to find a balance between adoring her husband’s children and not mothering them. Mothering was all she knew, but they already had a mother, which Mallory, in particular, reminded her of frequently. The more she tried to get to know Mallory the more annoyed she got... right up until the day she couldn’t try anymore.

The complicated family broke a little that day. Cracked in pieces. The love she’d worked her whole life to fill was seeping through the cracks, and arguments have started from every possible place. She has to keep her family together, even if they aren’t babies anymore. They’re her babies, and she needs to protect them... nobody protected Mallory.

Alright, that’s Echo! The complete opposite of Avonlea (check out her intro if you haven’t already!). Echo is a fairytale princess with her mind in the clouds, and also a bit of a helicopter mom lately. She might go into a bit of stalker-mom mode to try and keep her kids safe, who knows. I don’t know. We’ll see.

Like this or message me if you want plots and connections! xx

.

[anderson-residence]

Mobile Friendly Muse Bio: Ava

AVA ANDERSON

Verse: The Only Girl

A verse where Ava is the younger sister to Connor, Carter, and Niles in their main human verse

Birth Name: Ava May Oursler Name: Ava Anderson Species: Human Date of birth: July 22nd Height: 5ft 1in Relatives:

Three older brothers (Connor, Carter, Niles)

Adoptive Father (Hank Anderson)

Biological Mother (Laura Oursler, deceased)

Biological Father (John Oursler, deceased)

Icons: Yes Face Claim: Autumn Reeser Background: tw for car crash, death.

Born the fourth child and only girl to the Oursler family, Ava grew up with three older brothers that were five and seven years older than her. She sadly didn’t have long with the family as it was before tragedy struck. Ava was only two years old when the family was in a horrific car accident. While she and her brothers were injured but survived, her parents did not survive the crash.

She sustained the worse injures out of the children and almost did not survive. After extensive emergency surgery, the toddler was placed in intensive care to recover. In a medically induced coma, she remained unaware of her or her family’s fate. Even if she was aware she was too young to understand how life was about to drastically change forever.

Hank Anderson found himself at the pediatrics ward mere hours after the crash. A case about someone driving while high on Red Ice and striking a car with a family had led him there. But his assignment on the case would also change his life forever.

Hank couldn’t get those children off his mind. The chances of the siblings being kept together were rather low, they already lost their parents and now they were going to lose each other. He’s seen similar before. It was always heartbreaking. But there was nothing he could do, could he?

After talking it over with his wife the Lieutenant and his wife decided to try to see if they could be the ones to foster them, all four of them. After some work and proper paperwork, everything was worked out and just in time for the boys to be discharged from the hospital. Hank visited Ava’s bedside every day as she slowly recovered and eventually she was able to come home as well.

  The Anderson home would be the only home Ava would ever remember and know due to how young she was when she was taken in. Eventually, the Andersons officially adopted the children in their care, giving them a new permanent and loving home together.

As a toddler, Ava needed several stitches due to hurting her head when she tripped and fell down the stairs. The scar, along with the scars from the car crash would be ones she carried with her for the rest of her life.

  At just five years old her family suffered another tragedy as Hank’s wife passed away unexpectedly leaving the man to raise the children on his own.  

Throughout her childhood, she was often babysat by her older brothers as they were older enough to help out when Hank had to work late. She found her place in the family as the ‘baby’ but always set out to prove that she could hold her own with the best of them. Her age and gender didn’t hold her back.

   Like her brothers, her childhood within the Anderson home was mostly uneventful and average and that was okay. The home was full of love and support and that was all that was needed, especially after the deaths and hospitalizations the young family had faced.

Other than getting into some trouble as a middle schooler Ava was otherwise a respectful and quiet preteen and teenager. She kept to herself and focused on her studies and books.

Soon enough it came time for her to figure out what she was going to do in her adult life. Her brothers, already grown and in the mists of their training and studies were all headstrong and ready to take on careers similar to their father’s.

   She always knew law enforcement or any type of legal career wasn’t for her. Ava also knew she couldn’t handle the blood and suffering that paramedics, nurses, and doctors had to see. But she wanted a challenging productive job where she could do some type of good. Where would her path take her?  

Fire fighting was an interesting option that she thought over greatly but it never felt quite right. She wanted to put to use her lifelong love for asking questions. Finally, she found the right answer. An investigator of sorts. She was going to work at looking at the causes of fires and help stop arsonists, among other duties such as fire prevention. It was perfect. It just felt right.

Currently, in her 20s Ava is still getting her footing in her chosen profession as a fire expert but is working hard and has had a successful career that sometimes crossed paths with her brothers or father even if she worked for a private company rather than the fire or police departments or even just the city.

With androids deviating, and androids slowly getting their place in society, sadly Ava has seen more fires and investigations. It seems fire was a good way to vent one’s anger for both humans and androids. On the brighter side, that meant her job crossed paths with her brothers and father who work on deviant related crimes.

AVA OURSLER

Verse: The Only Child

A verse where Ava is human and an only child (default is no relation to Connor, Carter, Niles or Hank but all kinds of relationships are on the table)

Birth Name: Ava May Oursler Species: Human Date of birth: July 22nd Height: 5ft 1in Relatives:

Biological Mother (Laura Oursler)

Biological Father (John Oursler)

Icons: Yes Face Claim: Autumn Reeser

Background:

Ava’s parents always wanted a large family, to raise several children. Their hopes were high as twins ran in both their families. After years of trying the got wonderful news, they were going to have a baby. Their dreams were well on their way to becoming true.

   Ava was born to John and Laura Oursler on July 22nd much to her parent’s joy. But also dismay. Due to heavy bleeding and trauma, Laura almost died and while she was saved she was left unable to bear any more children. They were heartbroken but thankful for what they had. Their family was small but there was going to be full of so much love.

   As a toddler, Ava was often spoiled due to being her parent’s only child, a miracle survivor at that. Everything was fine for the most part other than an incident where she tripped and busted her head open resulting in her needing stitches and a scar that would follow her for the rest of her life. She never minded the faint line across her forehead.

  Very early on as a young child it was obvious that typical schooling was not for her. She did not do well with being told what to do nor did she enjoy following guidelines and deadlines.

   As she grew older her grades improved but her focus did not. She rather be out in the woods or reading a book than sit in one place calculating algebraic equations. But she was very clearly smart and a hard worker. She just chooses to do things on her own time.

Her childhood overall was average and not very noteworthy. She had a stable loving home, went to school, had pets and friends, liked to play and eat snacks, etc.   As a teenager, she finally focused more on her studies and began to try to figure out what she wanted to do with her life. She also took up a part-time job as a cashier to earn some extra spending money.

  Ava always knew she wanted to help others in some way and put her inquisitive brain to work but didn’t know for certain what career she wanted to get into. The typical helpful careers one might think of (doctor, police, paramedics, etc) just didn’t feel right for one reason or another. They just weren’t her. So what was she going to do? Eventually, she found something that seemed to fit.

    Currently, she is working for a private investigation company working to investigate the causes of fires, help prevent them, and promote community safety against fire and even carbon monoxide. She looks into where fires originated, the cause of fires, survey the damage after a fire, surveys the risk of fire to prevent fires, and works with both the police and fire departments in assisting with public safety and arson investigations.

[goldenbirdcrystalcage]

The Bidders Adopting their First Child

Eisuke: 

He was a little unsure about raising a kid that wasn’t his at first, but after MC (forcefully) reminded him that he wasn’t related to the man who raised him, Eisuke agreed. They went through all the normal channels and the adoption agency paired them with a 16 year old who was going to give birth to a baby girl. Of course Eisuke paid for the most expensive suit in the best hospital in Tokyo. She went into Labor early, so both MC and Eisuke had to run to the hospital from work. As soon as the arrived, they saw the girl holding the baby in her arms and she smiled as soon as she saw the two people that were going to become her baby’s parents. Eisuke took his baby girl in his arms and marveled at how tiny she was. The mother asked if the two had ever decided on a name and they both glanced out the window at the cherry blossoms blooming outside and the spring sun shining down. 

“Her name is Haru.” 

Soryu: He was pretty open to the idea of adoption as soon as MC suggested it. He only worried about forcing their kid into the mob life. Of course MC reminded him that their child would always have a choice. Soryu wanted to adopt a baby from his home in China because he knew better than anyone how many abandoned children there needed homes. It had taken three days to reach the orphanage in Gansu, China. When they finally arrived, MC was completely taken aback at how poor and underdeveloped the city was. Sewage flowed openly in the streets as animals were slaughtered and prepared for consumption only feet away. It was only when they reached the run down orphanage did they finally get to see their daughter. Bao was only two, but she already seemed much too small for her age. The room she was in was crowded with other children as she played with a crude wooden toy on the floor. As soon as Soryu and MC came into her field of vision she looked up at her new parents with bright eyes and MC crouched to make herself eye level with the little girl she had already fallen in love with.

“Nihao”

Baba

Of corse Baba was 100% down to adopt. The two of them were already considering adopting even before MC found out she couldn’t have children. Due to him growing up in an orphanage the two of you agreed that there was no point in bringing another child into the world when there were so many out there without families. The two of them traveled to the Kamagasaki District, one of the poorest areas of Japan. Baba told MC that the orphanage they were going to visit was one of the most underfunded in the entire country. Instead of choosing a kid to adopt before visiting, the couple decided to pick once they got to the orphanage. At least two dozen kids were playing in the dirt yard when Baba opened the gate. Nuns were rushing around trying to keep everyone safe and happy. After a while of wandering around and speaking to the kids, MC noticed Baba sitting in the dirt and playing with a little boy. As MC began to play with the little boy named Takeshi, a little girl wandered over and tugged on her sleeve. She told MC her name was Ko. The nuns told the couple that the two were twins and they were trying hard to keep them together, but most couples did not want to adopt two children, especially ones that were already almost six years old. MC and Baba signed the adoption paperwork on the spot. 

Ota

It took MC and Ota a long time to decide to adopt. Both knew that they wanted kids, but Ota wanted to try everything before they adopted. After a lot of money and time spent on a very unsuccessful pregnancy, Ota surprised MC one day with completely filled out paperwork. They went and picked up their little boy almost a year to the day from when they first submitted it. Any reservations Ota had about adopting Ryo were gone as soon as he saw the three year old. The couple was so elated, but first began to worry as soon as they took the sleeping toddler home in their car and a loud honk from another didn’t even wake him up, let alone scare him. After a few days Ota asked Luke to look at Ryo and they found out he was almost compleatly deaf. Of course this changed nothing about how much they would love Ryo, but MC and Ota knew things would have to change. Right away MC went out and bought books to learn Pidgin sign language and the two began to learn and teach Ryo. They both loved him but sometimes Ota had trouble connecting with him, until one night MC came back from work late and found her boys cuddled up on the floor asleep, surrounded by sheets of paper and paint. Ryo had needed an easier way to express himself and it looked as if his father had found one. 

Mamoru 

When MC found out she couldn’t have kids, her and Mamoru were extremely disapointed and sad, but they weren’t heartbroken. MC definitely wanted kids, but Mamoru wasn’t sure about it. They both worked pretty long hours and Mamoru could barely take care of himself half the time and (much to MC’s disappointment) they decided they weren’t ready for kids. Everything changed when Mamoru was put on a homicide case. When he and his partner showed up to case the woman’s apartment they were appalled at the conditions she had been living in. It was obvious that she had been a prostitute by where she had been murmured and the clothes she had been wearing when she died. There were drugs on the table and water boiling on the stove that must had been there for days. Worst of all was the little girl cowering in a small closet, holding her hands over her ears. She told Mamoru her name was Yusuki and she was seven. Unsure of where to put her, Mamoru volunteered to look after her until they found out if she had anymore family. It was hard for her to settle in with Mamoru and MC at first, but after a while the three of them started to become like a family. After a month or so, the Chief informed Mamoru that Yuzuki did not have any more family and she would be put into the foster care system. It was that night that MC and Mamoru decided to officially adopt her.  

Names: 

Haru: Spring  Bao: Treasure  Takeshi: Unbending Ko: Devoted Child Ryo: Refreshing  Yuzuki: Hope

(I hoped you guys liked my first headcannon!) 

[fiightcrarchived2]

all the prime numbers for the character solidifying meme

2      how do they think of their mother ? what do they hate ? love ? what influence - literal or imagined - did the mother have ? 

      oh boi.    ok, so let me be real honest for one small second ;  amelia hunter loved her mother with all her heart.   yes, she hated her for not standing up to jackson, for not stopping him, for letting herself get murdered by her husband.  but dear lord, she loved her so much.  was a real mommy’s girl as a matter of fact.   as for influence, i’d low key wager nothing actually influenced her about ashley, bc blondie was like seven at the time she died and everything she really knew was that she would never ever touch alcohol….   heh.

3       brothers, sisters ?  who do they like ? why ? what do they despise about their siblings ?

      LEANNE WAS HER FIRST LOVE.   AND SHE WAS HEARTBROKEN WHEN SHE WAS LOST.      ok, so from the very first moment she held leanne in her arms at the hospital at the ripe age of four, amelia hunter swore to protect her baby sister from anything that could ever harm her.    how wrong she would prove to be.   along with her first real platonic love, and for the next eight years, leanne hunter was her everything — as well as her biggest failure and sorrow. 

7       what was the economic status of their family ?

      the first four years they belonged in like the upper middle class ?    two story house, garden with a white picket fence ; the perfect family i the sub-urbs.   then jackson lost his job and started drinking and the money went quickly down the drain, but up until the brutal murder of jackson ; and the night where wolfie’s world turned upside down, they stayed in the same house.    (  extra info !   the same house has since then had like seven families who all moved out quickly claiming the house was haunted.   so now it’s just slowly decaying at the  end of the streets.  kids in the neighborhood dare each other to go inside / spend the night etc.  – it’s now a test of “bravery” tbh. )

11       how do they see themselves: as smart, as intelligent, uneducated ?

      she is uneducated, and she’s awfully aware of that, having never actually graduated high school.     she was done with that shit the day she turned eighteen and was out of the system.     and so she doesn’t see herself as smart, intelligent or anything in those directions.   she does however consider herself streetsmart and witty, a survivor and a fighter, and strong and brave.     but at the same time, a coward and a hypocrite and weak.

13       did they like school ? teachers ? schoolmates ?

      as mentioned above, she never even graduated high school, so she disliked that quite a lot.   mostly because she was always the new kid and had a really hard time connecting with her peers.  instead she was the kind of rebel shit that skipped classes and hung out with the older boys and smoked cigarettes behind the gym and made out beneath the bleachers.  she was rude towards her teachers, and most other kinds of authorities, and sometimes even fellow students.   the only subjects she even moderately liked was music and gym.  anything that required her to sit still and take notes and read were a whole other story and usually skipped.   especially biology, chem and math.    being the new kid at least once a school year wasn’t easy and  as such friendships were scarce.    why make a connection that would never last more than like a semester ?

19       what were your character’s deepest disillusions ? in life ? what are they now ?

answer to be added when i have a good one tbh.

23       what do they want from a partner ? what do they think and feel of sex ?

      security.   feeling secure with her partner is one of the most important things;  along with security comes trust, of course.  if there’s no trust there’s simply nothing.   secondly she demands a modicum of independence due to her line of work.  she needs to know that their partner can handle the uncertainty of this thing she’s chosen for a living,  and not go and demand her changing her way of life.   ( she might decide to do that if it’s serious enough, but it HAS TO BE her choice. )     also any future partner need to be able to kill det fucking spiders, man !!         as for the sex,  it’s an itch that needs to be scratched once in a while.  it’s a means to an end,  something to offer to get something she wants.   it means nothing to her. 

29       what is your character’s weaknesses ? 

      her heart.      ok, so amelia might come off as somewhat of a frigid bitch,  but that’s more or less fake news.    it’s the safest defense mechanism;  don’t let anyone in, and you won’t get hurt.   because despite it all she has a gigantic heart of gold,  and if you manged to get through the microscopic cracks she will lay down ehr life for you without blinking twice.   her pride.    blondie’s never been much of a team player, preferring to handle things alone,  always believing she’s good enough to handle things on her own.   safe to say it has landed her in more trouble than anyone should be able to.    her lack of a brain-to-mouth-filter …  sarcasm is the one thing this girl can speak fluently,  especially at inappropriate times.    children and animals,  seeing one hurt is an eternal source of rage, and she rarely won’t rest until she’s had  a     talk     with whomever responsible for the suffering.       … and she’s deathly terrified of fucking spiders. 

31       does your character have children ? how do they feel about the parental role ? about children ? 

      she does not.   and she can ever actually have one,  not biologically at least.   but, boy oh boy,  she wish to be a parent.   she loves children,  would give her soul to have one of her own.   instead she is orphaned children’s fiercest protector;   never one to back away if she sees one in trouble.    honestly, if she could she would just adopt every single one she meets. 

37       how is your character’s imagination ? daydreaming a lot ? worried most of the time ? living in memories ?

      surprisingly not that vivid.    with everything she sees and handles it’s hard to imagine even more crazy.  when she was little she used to live in a daydream; one in which she got leanne and herself away from jackson, away from oklahoma,  and they could start anew just the two of them.    when leanne was killed however the dream just died with her, and since then the only kind of dreams have been night terrors,   and even day terrors if she’s gone too long without sleeping and hallucinations starts to appear.   

41       is your character aware of who they are ? strengths ? weaknesses ? idiosyncrasies ? capable of self-irony ?

   mostly yes,    while i’m very sure others could pick out her quirks easier than she can herself,  she is very aware of her flaws and most of her  strengths;  except for those she simply does not agree with.   like the golden heart and generosity -  because those are weaknesses and not strengths after all.   

43       does your character have any secrets ? if so, are they holding them back ?

      ‘”     i murdered my father at the age of twelve..  but only because he was an abusive fuck who killed my sister and mother.   and then i’ve been in and out of foster homes until i turned 18  and ever since i’ve been hunting monsters and living under false names because my real identity is presumed dead.   “  yeah, huge secrets,   never to tell unless you’re in the really, really close inner circle.   no one never is tbh…

47       do they want to project an image of a younger, older, more important person ? do they want to be visible or invisible ?

      it depends on the situation,  amelia is nothing if not a social chameleon and can blend in and fake it with the best of them if deemed necessary.   

5&17      is already answered !

                                                       ✉      //      a.      ➝       @starkmatriarch​ .

[hellofastestnewsfan]

When a DNA Test Shatters Your Identity

“These are boom times for consumer DNA tests,” Sarah Zhang wrote last month. But what happens when the results are shocking? Many people, she found, have turned to support groups on Facebook as they try to come to terms with surprising revelations about their own origins.

Last year, I asked my dad for a 23andMe kit for my birthday. My mother passed away 14 years ago and I’m an only child (or thought I was). I also got my dad and stepmom kits for fun; they bought another one for my husband. We were going to have a “reveal” party. I got my results first (I cheated and peeked), and was shocked to find out I am half Italian. Neither of my parents has any Italian heritage. Since I hadn’t previously disclosed Italian heritage to 23andMe, a very cheerful dialogue box appeared that asked, “Wondering where your Italian heritage comes from? Click on DNA relatives.” I did and a half brother appeared—and that is when I knew that I wasn’t biologically related to my dad. Because I was worried that my dad would find out the same way I did, through the website, I spoke to him in person that same day. It was the most gut-wrenching conversation I’ve ever had. My father wept, but then admitted that he had had his doubts (but didn’t know how to tell me) due to the fact that he and my mother were separated when she became pregnant.

Many years ago, I had heard a rumor from my mother’s relatives that I wasn’t biologically my father’s child. I was told that she worked at an Italian restaurant and had a relationship with the owner. When my mom was very ill with cancer, I worked up the courage to ask about this. My mother denied it so emphatically and angrily that I felt foolish and ashamed wasting the limited time we had left asking a question that implied she was unfaithful to my father. My family members on my mother’s side are known for being colorful storytellers who rarely let the truth stand in the way of a good story, so I chalked it up to just that ... a fiction. I wish it were possible to attempt a second conversation with my mom.

When I first found out the news, I considered taking a leave of absence from work because I had difficulty focusing on anything else besides the revelation from 23andMe. On a hard day, I feel heartbroken about my mom’s secret. Her illness created an intimacy between us in the final months of her life and I felt that we were able to tell each other all the things in our heart. This news taints that memory and created a fresh bout of grieving about her death.

I’ve since met my biological father, his wife, my five siblings, their spouses and children, as well as other extended family. I found out that I was conceived between my biological father’s first and second marriages. They are just how you imagine a warm, big-hearted Italian family to be: accepting, loving, and eager to create a relationship with me (I realize how lucky I am in this regard). Not growing up with them or knowing them sooner feels like a loss. Seeing a therapist, journaling, talking to trusted friends, and the passage of time have helped immensely. On a good day (and most days are good), I feel a tremendous amount of compassion for my father who raised me, my biological father, and my mother. I’m saddened that she couldn’t tell the truth even at the end of her life—surely she would have known we would have forgiven her. I also have empathy for her, especially after reflecting on the fact that she faced the decision whether to terminate the pregnancy and then carried the burden of the secret of my paternity for the rest of her life. Her childhood was filled with trauma and abuse and I’ve come to accept that she didn’t have the skills to take ownership of her choices.

But, what a surprise to have in middle age!

Kasi Mireles Taylor Aurora, Colo.

Oh my! Talk about timing.

For 66 years I have not only known who my family was, but also done fairly extensive genealogy research.

Three or four days ago it became clear to me that half of those folks have no relation to me. While I’m not devastated that my actual father is a man I’ve never met and didn’t know existed, the news was a gut-punch. I teared up knowing that I had given my name—a name that I was proud of, but a name that I had no right to pass on—to my wife and to my sons.

I’ll not be joining this support group, but there is an odd comfort in knowing that it and its members are out there.  

My siblings are coming to town this weekend to give me a hug and show their support. That means a lot to me. Our mom, my biological father, and the dad who raised me have all passed, so really this changes little. Perhaps the only real change is the new family members that are out there.

Bill Williams San Antonio, Tex.

I too found unexpected results to my 23andMe and Ancestry DNA tests. When I got 23 percent Italian on 23andMe, I thought it was incorrect, so I tried Ancestry and got 30 percent Italian. I always believed I was half Irish, Swedish, and German. I found I have two Italian first cousins I never heard of. My father—who I now believe was not my biological father—had both of his parents born in County Clare, Ireland. I always relished in my Irish heritage. Now I feel left out on a limb. There are no siblings left alive, my parents have passed. I have asked my nephew (my sister’s son) to do the Ancestry test to see if I come up related to him. I am 72 and now wonder, who the heck was my father? Is this correct or was there a mistake somewhere? This interesting test has turned out to be a nightmare. I lie awake at 2 a.m. wondering where the connection is. Very baffling.

Barbara Chance Hammonton, N.J.

I always knew that I was adopted. It was a bedtime story meant to reassure me that I was wanted and loved. But as I grew older, I would stare in the mirror and wonder who I looked like. Did I have any half-siblings? Where were my birth parents? When I married and had children, questions about my nonexistent medical history suddenly seemed more important. After my parents died, I searched for my birth family and found a second cousin who helped identify my birth mother. My birth mother had died just nine months before I took my DNA test. I learned that I attended church in Oklahoma City with her and never knew. (My godfather, who arranged the adoption, was the pastor, but tragically died in a plane crash before I could ask him about my adoption.) My birth mother attended the college football games where I performed in the band’s halftime show. Her aunt bought a house down the street from me.

Once I had identified my birth mother, I used DNA cousin matches to identify my father, who had died in 1993.

Even though my birth family has been wonderful and accepting, I still struggle sometimes with my sense of identity and sense of place. There are huge swings in emotion: elation at having found my birth family, gratitude for my cousins’ acceptance, and a profound sense of loss and grief over two people that I will never meet. I feel the insecurity that I have crashed someone else’s party and don’t really belong.   

Although I was prepared for the factual information that might be revealed and knew that it might not have a positive outcome, nothing prepared me for the emotions that came with even a relatively happy ending. The emotional extremes of having a gain and a loss all at the same time are difficult to express.  

Holly Morgan San Antonio, Tex.

About three years ago, when I was almost 60 years old, I learned through an Ancestry DNA test that my dad was not my biological father. Ever since then, I have felt as if one of my wings had been cut off. I learned that such an event can bring emotions similar to those in the seven stages of grief. At this point, I have reached the stage of reflection.

I do not know if I was conceived during a long-term love affair, in a single moment of passion, or in an act of brutal violence.

“How do you feel knowing that Opa is not your real grandfather?” I asked my own daughter in a text message. Her immediate reply read: “It’s not DNA that makes a family.”

Marian Litvaitis Madbury, N.H.

Because I was about to become a grandparent, I decided to do 23andMe just for full disclosure for the next generation. Never in my wildest imagination did I expect to find that I was only 50 percent Ashkenazi Jewish. Not being able to explain this, I had my sister do the test. She was 100 percent Ashkenazi Jewish. This had to mean my father was not my father. I was shocked and devastated. I had my brother do the test and he came back with a different father altogether.

My mother is 93, with dementia, and initially she denied that my father was not my biological father. But when I had her alone, she admitted the truth.

I am not sure I am glad I found all this out, but it has been fascinating to put the pieces together.

Patty Friedman Chevy Chase, Md.

Several years ago, my dad passed away. He was a secretive man, and I never knew much about his family history. My husband gave me an AncestryDNA kit for my birthday so I could learn more about my father.

Be careful what you wish for, right?

The results didn’t make much sense. Instead of Irish and English, as predicted, my Ancestry test revealed a great deal of Sephardic Jewish and Greek/Turkish heritage. It also yielded a “first cousin” that I didn’t know.

I attributed this to faulty results, like so many people do. But my “first cousin” turned out to be a half-nephew I didn’t know existed, from one of four siblings I also never knew I had.

My father was a complete stranger.

It took me a year to come to terms with the reality, and then nail down who I thought my father might be—then a few more months of background checks and internet stalking to decide if I wanted to make contact.

I sent that first letter on my birthday last year, August 21. It’s been almost a year since my world turned upside down, but in that time I have met my birth father, a new stepmother, a half-sister, and a half-brother; I’ve spoken to another half-brother and know there’s yet another. I am the youngest of at least five.

DNA is unburying all those dirty little secrets. I don’t regret the truth, but truth comes with responsibility. We need to start responsibly handling something so drastically life-altering.

Meg Watt Pittsburgh, Pa.

from The Atlantic https://ift.tt/2PhbCgR