idratherbeaduck

[idratherbeaduck]

How do I tell my mother all I want for Christmas is happiness without concerning her?

Like, I appreciate her wanting to spoil her only child for the holidays, but it's hard to tell someone that something material is not what I wish to receive.

She's gotten to the point of telling me gifts can be a *want* not a *need*. However, I don't want a necklace charm or a new blanket, I want to have enough spoons to make it through the day and not be plagued with Permanent Internal Sadness.

[idratherbeaduck]

At some point "fanfic can be as good as professional writing" became "fanfic should be as good as professional writing" and that's caused major damage to fandom spaces.

[idratherbeaduck]

[idratherbeaduck]

[idratherbeaduck]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[idratherbeaduck]

[idratherbeaduck]

[idratherbeaduck]

So, like..

Does Spider-Man wear shoes under the suit? I know he's superhuman and can handle pain and stuff, but surely he's not doing barefoot parkour around New York.

Is this something that's been answered before and I've just never known? It's not like he puts it overtop of his clothes (according to Tom Holland's Spider-Man who only has underwear underneath) so what's the deal?

[idratherbeaduck]

[idratherbeaduck]

we need to make using chatgpt embarrassing bc sorry it really is. what do you mean you can’t write an email

[idratherbeaduck]

Somewhere in between as a writer.

I used to hate writing poetry because it has to rhyme. When someone finally taught me that wasn't true, my life has literally changed. Poetry is an amazing way to just write to get words out.

Have the vibes but no rhymes? Doesn't matter! You don't need it!

Have the words but no structure? Doesn't matter! You don't need it!

There are so many different kinds of poetry that no matter what you write, it's either a valid form that exists already, or a new form that is unique to you!

THERE. ARE. NO. RULES.

Now, go! Go forth and write that poem you've been struggling to put to paper!

The most sure sign that someone doesn’t know much about poetry is when they insist that poetry has to rhyme.

And the most sure sign that someone is a little too pretentious about poetry is when they say that they hate rhyming poetry.

[idratherbeaduck]

I like when my dreams reuse locations from past dreams. like oh cool we doin a bottle episode

[idratherbeaduck]

Can we get young Thor and Loki TV show? Or a movie? I want to see the shenanigans those two did.

Plus I wanna see the first time they did “Get Help”.

Please?

[idratherbeaduck]

you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

[idratherbeaduck]

Laura: oh, nice flag!

Wade and Logan: SHHSSHHHHH!!!!!

Blind Al: you dumb gay fucks, I know you put a queer ass pride flag in the damn kitchen! Don’t know why you felt the need, everyone who comes in here already knows about you two gay fools!!

Laura: *looks back at the Canadian flag*