#sometimes I wish I was 12 years old again and just picked stuff that sounded good

[malachitezmeyka]

Naming OCs actually sucks so much sometimes, especially when the creators of the source material have no fucking idea which culture they’re drawing from

[dreamescapeswriting]

The Coordinates Of My Heart ~ JJK [Request]

WORD COUNT: 2.4K

GENRE: Angst, fluffy ending, established relationship

PAIRING: Jungkook x fem!reader

It was no secret that Jungkook had tattoos all over his body, everyone had seen them by now but not every single tattoo that covered him. There was one very secret tattoo that nobody except for you and Jungkook knew about...Well, you, Jungkook and his ex-girlfriend that was. It was only a small tattoo on his left peck but it was one of the biggest mistakes Jungkook had ever made in his life, the whole time he was getting his collection of tattoos he swore he would never have someone's name tattooed onto his body and yet there it sat. Black ink across his peck with her name in cursive writing with a small heart attached at the end, "SeoJun" The tattoo bothered you a lot but you would never let that show in front of Jungkook. You'd been dating for almost three years now so you never brought it up except for the first time he showed you. He wanted you to know that she meant nothing to him anymore but that it was there and something he had to deal with. 

It was still a crushing feeling to see another girls name tattooed on his body and him always saying that he would never do it again, never tattoo a name across him anywhere on his body. You knew he was thinking rationally but there was a part of you inside that cried out to know why he wouldn't put your name on himself instead but the other part of you thought rationally. He probably didn't want to chance it by getting your name tattooed anywhere on himself and having the relationship fall through. 

"Baby I'm so tired," Jungkook groaned that morning as he walked down the stairs to you in the living room he was shirtless and wearing a pair of shorts, you were trying to convince him to go swimming with you. It was his week off from the studio, he took it off to spend time with you but for the last six days he'd done nothing but lay in bed gaming or go out to dinner with his friends, or hang out with the boys. 

"I'm only asking for this one thing baby...Please! I don't want to go alone." You giggled to him as you tugged on his hands trying to convince him to go with you, he looked at you tiredly as he shook his head.

"I'm busy today," He mumbled as he took his arm out of your grasp, ignoring the look of confusion written across your face as he walked into the kitchen. Jungkook hadn't told you he'd made plans with anyone which was why you'd woken him up in the first place if you'd have known he was busy you would have left him. Following after him, you went into the kitchen and he began to make himself something to eat,

"Busy with what? We haven't hung out all week, you said you took the week off to spend time with me." You uttered you knew it probably sounded as though you were being childish but right now you didn't care, you'd missed your boyfriend and this week it felt like you saw him less than you did when he was actually working. 

"I actually said I took the week off to relax, so far I haven't done any of that." He grumbled as he began pouring himself a bowl of cereal, not meeting your eyes as he spoke. Rolling your eyes at him you shook your head, 

"You've relaxed plenty, all you've done is game and sleep...As well as go to lunch, or spent time with friends...W-What if we went for walk instead? Namjoon said he found this really cute hiking trail..." You trailed off when you realised Jungkook was more interested in the phone that was sitting in his hand than he was in listening to you talk to him. The thought of him ignoring you was heartbreaking enough, you began to overthink everything, maybe he was getting bored of being with you...

"But of course, I wouldn't want to take you away from what is really important." You grumbled to him referring to the phone before storming out of the kitchen and into the living room to grab your swimming bag to go alone since he wasn't that bothered about you anymore.

"Are you upset because I won't hang out with you?! We don't have to be around each other 24/7 Y/n." He followed you into the living room staring into your eyes as he waited for you to say something back to him. He didn't mean for it to come out as harsh as the way it was.

"No, but it would be nice if my own boyfriend wanted to do something with me. Watch a movie, go for a walk, order food. All you've been bothered about is gaming or hanging with the guys, we haven't done anything this week." He rolled his eyes at you before going back into the kitchen without another word in your direction. You knew it wasn't supposed to start a fight but there was a part inside of you that wanted answers from him. 

"Tell me I'm wrong then. Tell me one time this week you've even wanted or offered to hang out with me." You stated as you walked back into the kitchen, he put his bowl down into the sink shaking his head at you. 

"I've been busy. I'm doing stuff all week, I don't need you jumping down my neck-" He stopped talking when his phone began to ring on the table in front of him for a second you could have sworn a panicked look spread across his face. Out of habit your eyes glanced down to see who it was but as soon as you saw the name you wish you hadn't. SEOJUN. Was written across the screen in big bold writing with a broken heart beside her name just like the tattoo Jungkook had only the heart was broken. 

"W-Why is she calling you?" Instead of answering you Jungkook just turned the phone over so you couldn't see it and shook his head at the question. 

"Jungkook..." You whispered feeling insecure at the thought of him starting to see her again, it wasn't that you didn't trust him. It was Seojun that you didn't trust. She was manipulative and cunning. She always got whatever it was she wanted if she used the right way on Jungkook it was like she had a spell on him.

"Y/n it's not what it looks like, she's just started to say sorry to me that's all. She wants to make up for all the awful things that happened, she opened up her new shop so I've been going to help-" The look on your face made Jungkook stop talking instantly and he knew he fucked up, it was a look of sadness and anger as you realised he'd been spending all of his time with her. 

"S-So you've been spending time with her? On your week off..." He nodded his head slowly not wanting to lie to you about where he had been anymore, 

"Because I knew if I told you, you would be upset-" He tried to rationalise it but you cut him off,

"Of course I would! You've been spending all of your free time with your ex-girlfriend and lying to me about it!" You yelled out as you stared down at his phone, it was starting to ring again but you both ignored it this time letting it go to voicemail.

"I was just helping out with her shop, she's straightened herself out." You scoffed at the thought of it all and the phone began to ring again, it was clear she wasn't going to quit calling him until he finally answered her call. 

"So she's trying to get back with you?" You questioned as you stared at him folding your arms over your chest,

"No! She's trying to say sorry..." You rolled your eyes at the statement, at how naive he was being about all of it and began walking away from him not wanting to listen to this.

"Am I not allowed, friends?!" He snapped at you making you turn to face him you were angrier now at the fact that he was making it seem like you were forcing him not to talk to her, 

"You can be friends with whoever you want...B-But didn't you think about how this would make me feel? Seeing her again? When she's literally tattooed across your chest?!" He heard the crack in your voice as you stormed out of the door, leaving him alone in the world of his own thoughts. He knew how much the tattoo hurt you even if you refused to show him that sometimes, he groaned picking up his phone to her. 

"I'll be running late today, come by about 2 pm? The place will be empty and it'll be just me and you, like old times." He sighed as he heard her voice down the other side of the phone, 

"We should stop, she's suspicious..." He whispered to Seojun as he walked out of the kitchen and towards the front door, you were sitting in the car so he walked up the stairs to talk. 

You whimpered as you got into your car, starting up the engine and driving off towards the pool. You didn't even need to go, you just had to be out of the house for a while to let your brain cool down from what was happening, you were probably just overreacting to it all. 

When you came in after swimming the house was empty, all of the lights were off so you knew Jungkook must have been out or up in bed asleep but it was only 7 pm so that was unlikely true. You dropped your keys down in the small bowl by the front door and kicked off your shoes wanting nothing more than to snuggle up beside Jungkook and say sorry for that morning but he wasn't there so you went for the next best thing. Having a shower and curling up in one of his shirts while you waited for him to come home, you'd left him some texts but if he was still upset about this morning you doubted he would answer you. 

As you walked into the kitchen you saw a note on the door, 

Went out to think. Don't wait up. Love you. x x x JJK x x x You smiled halfheartedly as you read the note from him to you and screwed it up before putting it into the bin. All you had to do was remind yourself that Jungkook loved you, he would never do anything to hurt you.

Later that night Jungkook pulled up outside the house and saw your car, 

"I'll call you later, Y/n's home so I'm going to talk to her if she's awake," Jungkook said to Seojun who hummed before hanging upon him. He shut the door carefully and headed up to the front door, it was almost 12 pm so you were most likely asleep in bed but when he walked into the living room you were out cold on the sofa. Draped in one of his jumpers and a pair of shorts with a blanket around you, the TV was playing to itself all of their Bangtan bombs and he smiled to himself. At least you weren't too angry at him to fall asleep to his voice, he turned off the TV and headed into the kitchen. 

A small hissing noise made you wake up when you heard small grunts of pain, 

"Guk?" You moaned out as you rubbed your eyes, the kitchen light was on and the moaning was coming from there. Terror ripped through you at the thought of him and someone else being in there together but Jungkook would never do that...Would he? Slowly sliding off the sofa you tip-toed into the kitchen to see Jungkook with his back to you, he was hissing as he pulled something off his chest, 

"Kookie? What's going on?" Jungkook jumped as your voice suddenly filled the air, he turned to face you and you saw what he was struggling to do. There was fresh clingfilm wrapped around his chest along with some pads, 

"Jungkook?" You frowned walking further into the kitchen as you helped him take off the cling film, 

"I did something." He mumbled as he took your hands into his own to stop you from removing the rest of it all, 

"We have to talk..." You stared into his eyes waiting for him to continue and he looked down, 

"I know how much the tattooed bothered you without you saying anything...That's the reason I've been seeing Seojun so much, she runs her own tattoo parlour instead of working for other people now..." You remembered him telling you once that she worked as a tattooist in someone else's shop, 

"S-So you went to her to get a tattoo done? Why didn't you tell me?" He let go of your wrists and allowed you to keep unwrapping the clingfilm until it got to the end and the flower could be seen, 

"Because we were working on something I couldn't tell you about," Sitting on his left peck, covering the entire muscle was a huge tattoo of your birth flower. Tears began to well up in your eyes as you stared at the masterpiece, 

"The best part." He whispered as he took your hand carefully and lead it over to the middle of his chest, written in small black in were some coordinates. 

"Do you know what that is?" You stared at them with a frown on your face shaking your head at him trying to work it out, 

"It's the coordinates of where I first told you that I loved you," You stared at the coordinates before wrapping your arms around the back of his neck and dragging him into a passionate kiss. Tugging him closer to you until he hissed out in pain, 

"S-Sorry, the tattoo is sore." He chuckled as you looked at it again, 

"Where's your cream? I'll apply it and then we can go to bed?" You questioned as he nodded at you, telling you where the cream he used for all his tattoo's was kept and went to sit on the sofa for you. Smiling happily as he waited for you to come back to him.

Tagline: @lyoongx​ @mitzwinchester​ @fan-ati--c​ @rjsmochii​ @kneel-begyourpardon​ @taestannie​ @bisexualmess007​ @innersooya​ @sw33tnight​ @jin-from-the-block​ @sweeneyblue1​

[bokutoslittlebird]

In Your Eyes

Bokuto Kōtarō x Chubby!Reader

Author’s Note : There are some dark things in here and if you feel suicidal please do not keep it bottled in. It’s not healthy and needs to be addressed. The really bad stuff isn’t until the middle (right before the smut, basically), so be warned! That’s where the suicidal stuff is and like I said, if you do any of this or feel suicidal please seek professional help because it’s not worth keeping unhealthy feelings inside ; If you are wondering why Bokuto’s obsessed with licking and biting in this, I have been rereading a doujin where Bokuto does that and, well, it’s hot ; I swear this would not have taken me so long if I didn’t keep crying while writing it omg I would be dead if I had a shot every time I had to stop writing so I could wipe my tears and snot. This is why I don’t like to read or write angst but wow was that therapeutic.

Warnings: angst, fat shaming, use of the word “pig”, body dysmorphia (inability to look in a mirror), vomit, suicidal tendencies/intention (via overdose) + implied past actions alcohol, soft!dom Bokuto, choking, creampie(s), mating press+doggy style, licking and biting, facesitting

The cheers of the crowd erupted as the whistle blew. Once again, the MSBY Black Jackals had won. This match was against the Red Falcons, another team in the V.1 division. It was a close call, but Hinata managed to break the deuce with his monstrous quick attack and seal the set with their victory.

The team was jumping and bouncing, giving out high fives as they did. Of course, they had to shake hands with the Adlers, bowing to the audience and thanking them for their support. When Bokuto did his classic ‘Bokuto Beam’ move towards the audience, you could hear the girls squealing and giggling. It isn’t like they didn’t do the same when Atsumu or Hinata waved to them, but it hit you different. After all, they were beautiful in your eyes, slim and flawless.

Oh, yes. You’re the MSBY Black Jackal’s manager, being a classmate of Hinata in his second and third year (as in you tutored him and helped manage the volleyball club with Yachi). Hinata was your first friend, which kind of sounds pathetic. It was, if you were being honest with yourself. Being heavier than the average girl at your school subjected you to bullying and pranks that ended with you crying until you threw up. Hinata never made you feel like that, though. He always made sure you were comfortable and every member of the club at Karasuno treated you like an angel. You ended up applying to be the MSBY manager when Hinata asked, saying they needed a manager and wondered if you could apply. Well, it was either that or finding a job at the circus, as your family would sneer at you. Truly, Hinata was the first to accept you.

Once you got the job, it was like being back at Karasuno, honestly. Everyone was friendly and treated you no differently than they would treat others. However, you wished one of them would treat you differently.

Bokuto.

He was the ace of the team, a goofy fella that could make anyone smile. Including you. Aside from Hinata, he made you feel accepted and made you forget about any woes and horrid thoughts you were facing. He didn’t know about them like Hinata did, but you were sure he’d treat you different if he knew.

Once everything was packed up, you and the coach headed out, the team not too far behind you.

“Shōyō-kun, that was one of yer best sets yet!” Atsumu cheerily piped up, walking behind Hinata. Hinata was right beside you, as he always was.

“I’m glad you think so! I don’t know if we can surprise the Adlers next time, though. Kageyama still knows my tricks,” he huffed as he finished his statement, putting his hair down so he could mock Kageyama. You giggled at his antics.

“Alright, change up and meet at the bus in 10 minutes, let’s go!” Coach commanded. Each member voiced their acquiescence. You decided to use this opportunity to go to the bathroom. After all, their match lasted almost an hour, if not more.

In the restrooms, you were almost done when you heard a bunch of girls giggling as they entered. Instead of leaving, you stayed in place, waiting for them to go.

You wish you hadn’t.

“Gosh, those boys are so attractive!” One of them said. Two voices agreed.

“Have you seen Atsumu and Kageyama? They’re both so hot!”

“I was too focused on that number 12,” oh no, “Bokuto, I think? He’s a good looking man, bet he has the stamina of a god, too,”

“Yeah, it’s a shame their brand is ruined by that mascot of theirs.” What?

“Mascot? Oh! You mean the pig? Yeah, she does put a damper on everything, doesn’t she? Imagine being that attractive and having that thing follow you around!” The girl cackled, her friends following suit. You felt your stomach drop, tears springing in the corner of your eyes as you listened to them.

It was easy to forget you were different when you with the team since they made you feel normal, but that didn’t mean others wouldn’t notice you.

The girls eventually left, the door slamming shut behind them. Whether they came in there to do makeup or just talk shit about you knowing you were in there didn’t matter. Not when you were crumpled up on the floor as sobs wracked your frame. Life sucks.

It’s not like you didn’t try! That’s the other thing! You try to lose weight and nothing happens, exercising doesn’t do much and diets are practically useless. You used to go to the gym, but stopped when you kept getting stares. You also used to run with Hinata in the mornings, but since he was so much faster than you, you stopped. What’s the point if you’re panting and breathless after a minute while he’s still going strong after 30 minutes? It felt like nothing would ever help.

A buzzing interrupted your crying fest, you sniffling as you wipe away the tears and look at the screen. It’s from the groupchat, Hinata asking if you’re okay and they were all at the bus. You typed back a quick ‘K’ and got up. The best you could hope for was nobody would point out the red eyes and the sniffling.

Hinata knew of your troubles, being there for you when you broke down in school more often than not. When you confided that he was the first person you felt comfortable with, it broke him. Seeing you had bottled up your emotions because nobody bothered to listen or care, it made him want to include you in his life. He would invite you over for dinner and his sister would excitedly talk to you, never making you feel uncomfortable. When he heard that you were in Osaka, he immediately called you up about being the MSBY manager.

He also knew of your crush on Bokuto. It was obvious to him, with how you looked at the ace with longing. Hinata even encouraged you to confess, but that was quickly dismissed when you told Hinata how you felt like Bokuto deserved better than someone like you. Bokuto was muscular, attractive, and charming — in your eyes, he deserved to be with someone his equal. That did not mean you. Hinata knew of your troubles, but he also knew of Bokuto’s. Bokuto has a crush on you, too, finding himself more accepted with you around. Contrary to the ace’s personality, he was insecure in a lot of things. He wasn’t very smart, which was often pointed out by others. He knew when someone was upset, though, so he always knew he needed to make you feel better.

Once you arrived at the bus, Hinata greeted you as everyone else had boarded. “What’s wrong?”

“The same old thing, you know,��� you sniffle, your voice cracking as you remember the hateful words. Hinata’s face soured as you said those words. Back in high school, he would sit down and cry with you. Now, he was tired of you still being picked on as an adult.

“Immature, that’s what they are. Come on, we’re gonna stop by that restaurant you love.” Oh great, food. You may have been starving when the match ended, but after the incident, you just wanted to go home and cry. You numbly nodded and followed Hinata onto the bus. The coach didn’t bother pointing out anything, but he sent you a sad look when he noticed the red eyes on you. You sadly smiled and continued to your seat, behind the coach as the bus started to move. Curling into your jacket, you tried to think of something else.

The restaurant was a disaster. Everyone had been excited and gotten off the bus when a bunch of fangirls came up to them. You had just smiled and shook your head, feeling better already. At least, you had been until the girls noticed you and gave you looks of disgust. It was short lived, their attention turning back to the boys, so you briskly walked off, into the restaurant, away from the crowd. It took almost 5 minutes for the girls to leave, but you refused to eat anything other than a salad and drink water. Even then, you excused yourself to the restroom to take a break, crying and attempting to force yourself to throw up. Once home, you locked the front door and let your emotions spill out. Crying and screaming was common, so that’s what you did. Then came the process — getting rid of any reflective surface. Turning off the lights, turning on the tv, covering the mirrors with sheets, closing the blinds, shutting out any possibility of looking at yourself. Even with nobody around, those words and looks stuck and struck deep, you eventually curling into yourself on your bed as you cried yourself to sleep.

The next day came, your alarm ringing and the sound bouncing off the walls. You turned it off, completely turning off your phone. Instead of dealing with alarms and people, you’d suffer alone behind the comfort of your home.

The team was worried, you were never late. Bokuto was more pouty than normal, your cheerful greeting missing from his morning and his bear hug. Atsumu also missed your cheerful greeting, asking Hinata if he knew of anything. When Hinata said he did not, he texted and called you, receiving no answer.

Okay, then he’d go to you.

Hinata had stayed at your apartment before, spending the night or just to hang out. Sometimes he brings you food and snacks when you need it, or he just checks on you. He has a spare key in case of anything and he’s glad he does when the door’s locked with no answer. He calls you once more time, knocking until he hears something. It’s faint, but it sounds like movement. So, you’re awake. But not answering the door. Sighing, he unlocks the door.

The apartment is not surprising to him, the windows covered and reflective surfaces covered. He was afraid of this, but he continues on. When he reaches your room, he hears more sniffling and crying. “[Y/N]?”

“Leave me be, Shōyō,”

“[Y/N], please. The team misses you,”

“Fuck off. I’m a charity case to them, I know it. Why else would they keep me around? I should just wallow away,” your voice sounds tired, the thought of the boys sticking with you out of pity a common thought you’ve had.

A thought that isn’t true, but breaks Hinata’s heart. “You know that’s not true. Everyone loves you! Even Bokuto,”

“Shōyō, shut up. Empty words do nothing. Maybe it’d be better if I just... stayed here. Maybe I should just end the misery,”

“Do not. Talk like that. Please.” Hinata’s voice cracks with each word. He knew you were bad, but you could pretend like everything was fine. He should’ve known the harsh treatment yesterday would affect you like this. He should’ve spent the night with you when you ordered a salad and a water. He should’ve told the coach or Meian when you went to the bathroom for 10 minutes that you were trying to throw up. Your lie of there being a line was obvious, a common excuse after a long time away. Hinata felt his chest tighten as he realized you didn’t answer him. “I’m getting Bokuto.”

“Shōyō! Don’t you dare!” Your screams do nothing as he basically runs out your apartment, you flinging the door open to see him gone. You start crying more, afraid that Bokuto will see just how pathetic you are. If he ever looked at you with disgust, the way everyone else does, you don’t know if you could continue on with your life.

Maybe it’d be better that way.

Bokuto doesn’t really know what’s going on, one moment he’s stretching and the next he’s running to the train station with Hinata’s words repeating over and over again.

‘[Y/N] needs you’

Bokuto’s first thought immediately went into the gutters, a blush coating his cheeks until Hinata continued.

‘I think she’s in trouble’

With those two sentences, Bokuto ran off, forgetting his bag and just taking his phone with him. He only needed his phone, really. Strange stares from the public didn’t bother him, he knows he’s still wearing his practice clothes and his knee pads, the material looking like leggings. He made it to the train station before it left, getting on and calling Hinata back.

“Bokuto?”

“I’m on the train, is everything okay?” He was panting, the train station being a bit away from the practice gym. He didn’t even bother sitting, just standing beside the doors.

“I don’t know. She’s.. She’s in a bad place. She won’t listen to me, but she’ll listen to you,” Hinata’s words are slightly muffled, sniffling accompanying his sentence. The words make Bokuto’s chest tighten.

“I don’t know what I can do, you’re her best friend. What could I do?”

“She’s in love with you. Has been for a while, actually. I know you can help her where I can’t. Just — I’ll give you her apartment key when you get to the station. Once I do, please go to her. Please,”

“I—“ Bokuto’s eyes are wide, his face definitely pink now. He’s still worried about you, but the idea of you actually liking him — no, loving him the same way he loves you, it makes him giddy. It gives him the push he needs to make it to you.

As soon as the doors open, there’s Hinata, holding a key ring for him to take. Bokuto doesn’t hesitate, a quick nod in Hinata’s direction before he rushes off to your apartment complex. All of the boys have been to your apartment before, but Bokuto and Hinata are the only ones who know the way to the place. Bokuto has gotten a bit drunk before and ended up crashing at your place, as well as just staying there when practices run late since his place is the farthest away from their practice gym.

Arriving at the apartment, he slides the key in and turns the knob, momentarily confused at the sheets covering your glass coffee table and the TV, but he continues in. He knocks on your bedroom door. “[Y/N]? Are you in here?” When he gets no response, he freaks out. Turning the knob, he notices you’re not in there, but there are more sheets covering things, as well as the blinds being shut. Even more confused, he turns back to the hallway and notices the bathroom door is closed. Fear strikes him as he thinks he knows why you’re not answering — he hopes he’s wrong.

When he opens the door, he realizes he was partially right. With a bottle of wine pressed to your lips, an empty pill bottle in one hand, your eyes wide as Bokuto’s golden eyes met yours. A brief moment of anger flashed across his face before you were forced over the toilet, his thick fingers going down your throat.

“Shtap!” Your muffled voice comes out, gagging around his fingers as he attempts to activate your gag reflex. He doesn’t stop, your squirming easily quelled against his strong grip on your arms pinning them back. You feel the bile rise and then you’re expelling the contents of your stomach into the toilet, coughing and sputtering as the painkillers you just took are now emptied into the porcelain bowl. Bokuto doesn’t let go of you as you cry, trying to get out of his hold.

He doesn’t know what he should bring up first, the fact Hinata called him over or the fact he caught you in the middle of a suicide attempt. You’re screaming and telling him to get off of you, but he instead holds you closer, your sobs fading as tears spill out of his own eyes, staining the hoodie you’re in. “Why would you do that?” He whispers.

You don’t know how to respond to that, instead choosing the phrase, “why not?” His face scrunches up and you don’t know if he’s in pain or angry as he shakes you.

“Why would you do that?! Don’t you know how many people would be distraught over you? Hinata would be inconsolable! Who would TsumTsum and I joke with? Did you even think about that? Did you think about me?” His voice is loud and it makes you cry harder, the weight of his words hitting deep. Bokuto’s been there for you through a lot and you’ve been facing all your problems on your own. “You can’t just do that! That’s selfish!”

“Why would it matter, Bo? What’s the point? I can’t face myself let alone face my feelings! Why not just stop hurting?” You’re both crying, him holding onto you tightly as you dry heave a bit, a stinging in the back of your throat and an arrow in your heart.

“Why can’t you face your feelings? You have Hinata and me!” Before you can tell him something else, he presses his lips to your forehead. You freeze. “I don’t know what I’d do if you left me. I don’t think I could live without you,” He dryly chuckles, tears still streaking down his face. You hiccup and look down, afraid to face him.

“You don’t mean that. You’re trying to make me feel better, I know. Just be honest with your feelings. I’m already low enough, no reason to keep up appearances,” more tears come out as you try to not break into another fit. Bokuto would never look at you the same you looked at him, especially not after seeing you like this. You couldn’t blame him, you look like a mess in your old sweatpants and the old hoodie that felt too tight even if it was one of the largest sizes you could find. Your hair is no better, hasn’t been brushed and you’ve been in bed for a while.

“Hinata said you loved me—“

“Stop,”

“So I came because he said he was worried—“

“You don’t need to say it,”

“If I had been a second later—“

“Stop it, please,”

“I wouldn’t have been able to tell you my feelings—“

“Please, don’t,” you cover your face, tears blurring your vision anyways. Bokuto removes your hands, looking into your eyes. His own are full of warmth and love, not disgust or regret. It makes you cry more, a horrible wail as you dive into his chest. He laughs as his arms wrap around you, comforting in these dark moments.

“I love you, you know? I have for a while,”

“Why? What do you see in me? What could I possibly have to attract you? I’m not—“

“Don’t say it. Don’t say ‘I’m not like other girls’, because everyone’s different. You make me want to be a better man, you make me excited for each new day. Nobody can compare to you,”

“I can’t.. I’m sorry, I can’t trust you. I’ve— I’ve been made fun of for too long, I want to trust you, I want to love you, I want to be with you, but I don’t know if my heart can take another one,”

“Another— what?”

“It’s a long story, I don’t want to bore you,”

“Baby, I’m not going anywhere,” he nuzzles your cheek, more tears spilling out as your chest tightens with love.

You decided to explain to him what happened in the past and how you trusted Hinata. Bokuto brought you to your room and made you some tea, brought a bottle of water, and also made you a snack. The thought of eating made you feel sick, but a pouty buff man had you slowly nibbling on the piece of toast. You hadn’t eaten since dinner the previous day, so you wanted to inhale it, but you didn’t think you could stomach it.

After explaining everything to Bokuto, you tried to laugh it off, saying it wasn’t a big deal, but he refused to accept that. A quick call to Hinata to let him know you were okay and that Bokuto would be taking a day off was the next step, letting Bokuto stay with you for the rest of the day. He didn’t want to leave you alone, the fear of almost losing you still making his heart race in a bad way. Even as you just scrolled through InstaGram on your phone, he worried if he left you’d go back to the dark headspace. He couldn’t stop it, but he figured he could prevent it.

The first thing to change your mood is get you in the shower.

When he bounced back into your room, you looked at him from your position. You looked exhausted, the toast only half eaten but the glass was empty. Bokuto shook his head and clicked his tongue. “You need to refresh yourself. Time to take a shower!”

“What are you, my dad? If you want me to do it then make me,” You muttered, snuggling back under the covers. Bokuto closed his eyes and sighed, trying to not say anything sexual.

“I will throw you over my shoulder and into the bathroom. Don’t underestimate me, [Y/N],” the bed dips as he sits on the edge. “I’ll strip you down and wash you if I have to,”

“Why are you so forceful? Damn,” you made it sound like a bad thing, but you were smiling. “Fine, I’ll shower. You don’t gotta wash me, I’m not a baby,”

“But you’re my baby?” He sounded so confused, you freezing half out of the bed. Clearing your throat, you continued.

“Uh, sure. Are you planning on leaving soon? Or..”

“Nope! I’m staying over. I’ll change the sheets while you shower, too!”

“Oh, okay,” you say, numbly getting up to get clothes. With the lack of clean clothes, you have a few shirts and some pajama pants, but your stomach twists as you realize why they’re clean. They don’t fit as nicely as the other clothes, so you face two options: reuse the hoodie you’re wearing or face the humiliation of putting on a tight shirt. Thinking of the restriction, you decide the hoodie would be best. A large pair of pajama pants and a pair of panties is all you take, but Bokuto notices the lack of clothes.

“Are you just changing your pants? You’re showering, right?” Hes rifling through his bag, planning on changing out his practice clothes while you’re in the shower. He doesn’t want to get your clean sheets dirty, after all.

“Um, I’m out of shirts, so.. I’ll just reuse the hoodie,” you shrug, not seeing a problem. His eyes light up as he holds a finger up, digging through his bag once more. Apparently, Hinata dropped it off while you were taking a nap, all that crying had exhausted you. Bokuto smiles brightly as he pulls out his own hoodie, the black hoodie with the golden MSBY brand and the Black Jackal claws. “I don’t think—“

“I’ve been dreaming of you in my hoodie for some time, so this is a perfect opportunity! I’d prefer you to wear this,”

“Uh, I’m pretty big, Bokuto. I don’t think it’ll fit, if I’m being honest,” you look down at the ground, the disgust from earlier rising in your chest. Bokuto just tilts his head to the side.

“I think it’ll fit. It’s pretty big on me, so it’ll fit. If it doesn’t, let me know. I’ll get you something else,” he just shrugs, holding out the hoodie. His name is on the back and in a way, it feels like he’s marking his territory. You take it, thanking him as you head towards the bathroom. If it didn’t fit, you didn’t know what you’d do.

When you finished washing up, you put on the clothes. As big as Bokuto was, you still didn’t expect the hoodie to fit. When it slid on easily, you were highly surprised, but also it took you a moment to collect yourself. Seeing you in his hoodie was something out of your wildest dreams, him even telling you he’s fantasized about it making your body hotter than it should be. You had to calm yourself down before exiting the bathroom, entering the bedroom to see him lying on the bed in sweatpants. That’s it.

“Where the hell are your clothes?!” You cover your face, spreading your fingers a bit to see him stand up excitedly.

“You look so good in my hoodie!” He hugged you tightly, lifting you up a bit.

“Don’t pick me up, put on a shirt!” The only thing separating your skin from his was the hoodie which, well, wasn’t very thick. The zipper itself was as high as it could go but still felt too low.

“Why? Don’t I look good? Are you uncomfortable?”

“Yes, you look good and I’m uncomfortable. This is just a weird situation,” you try to explain... as if you had a shred of dignity left. The laptop propped open with the opening of your favorite movie caught your attention. “Are you gonna watch a movie?”

“We’re gonna watch it! To make you feel better, of course!” He seemed so proud of himself, standing with his fists on his hips as he smiled. You shook your head, rolling your eyes.

“Okay, then. Do you want snacks?”

“Snacks?!”

After getting snacks for the movie, to which he fed you some while you fed him, you ended up falling asleep as you watched the movie. It was nice and warm under the covers and Bokuto’s body heat right next to you helped to lull you to sleep. He didn’t seem to notice you falling asleep until your head hit his shoulder, eyes closed as you peacefully slept. After pressing a kiss to your forehead, he closed to laptop and got comfortable under the sheets. The worry of him losing you was still there, but he kept his arms around you tightly in case it was a dream. Like you, he hoped it wasn’t.

Waking up wasn’t that bad, an urge to quench your dry throat a common thing to wake up to. What wasn’t common, however, was the thing poking your butt. Now fully awake, you tried to shoot up in bed to see what was going on but Bokuto’s arms held you down. It was then you realized what was poking you. Attempting to get his arms off of you was a hard feat, trying to squeeze out of the grip when he moaned. You froze and looked at his face, still asleep. Attempting to move again, he let out another one. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out.

He was having a wet dream. In your bed. Beside you.

Your immediate thought was who? Your next thought was me? You dismissed that idea, rolling your eyes as if that could happen. Well, until your name came past his lips. You were surprised to hear it, even if he showed and attempted to prove his feelings for you. Him dreaming of you subconsciously? It gave you confidence.

Enough confidence to wake him up and let him continue his dream in reality? No.

But, you didn’t think you’d have another dark episode anytime soon. He didn’t seem to relent his grip on your body, so you dealt with it, staring at the wall in the dark as he continued his noises. Well, at least until he bucked his hips. You gasped as he did, him waking up to your noise. “You ‘kay? Somethin’ wrong?”

Wide eyes looked at him, before glancing down and flickering back up. He follows your eyes and his face goes red. It’s hard to tell in the dark, but the moonlight coming in from the uncovered window illuminates enough. “I am so sorry, I’ll le—“

“Why?” You can’t stop yourself from asking, immediately smacking your forehead. He’s a bit confused from your actions, but you continue. “Um, I’d, uh- I’d like to know what you dreaming about.” Confidence? Yeah, right. You’re practically shaking from the fear of his answer. Of course, it was your name but you could’ve heard wrong, right? Yeah, you—

“My boner speaks for itself, doesn’t it?” Does he have shame? You just look at him so exasperated as he just stares at you, not too sure what you were expecting. “Or do you not know?”

“I— Okay. Was it me?”

“Who... who else would it be?”

“Oh, okay. Why?” You’re both so confused, you not understanding the appeal while he’s not understanding why it’s so weird. Or confusing.

“Why not? I’m in the bed with my girlfriend, longtime crush, who I find extremely attractive? Is this too much? Is it wrong for me to, um, wanna do that? Or dream about it?” No shame!

“I’m still having problems seeing things from your perspective, but okay. Still cannot see the appealing side of me, so it’s just... it’s weird for me to actually realize you like that. You actually,” you gulp, “like me,”

“I’ll say it as many times as I need to, [Y/N]. You’re perfect in my eyes. I want you to see that in your eyes, too,”

“I cannot, if ever, do that. Sorry,” you just shrug, going back to lay down. It isn’t long until he’s straddling you. “What are you doing?”

“I want to make you see things how I do. You gave me this,” he gestured to the bulge in his sweatpants. Looking at it too long scares you, the size scaring you more. “I want you,”

“Oh my god, I’m being dead serious now: you are not gonna like what you see. I’m not attractive, Bo,”

“Let me be the judge of that, hm?” It’s the only thing he says, but you hesitantly nod. He smiles and as much as you want to enjoy it, you’re still shaking. You have no idea what’s coming next, you don’t know what he’s gonna do once he sees what’s underneath and it scares you. So badly. His hands go underneath your—his hoodie, running over your skin. “If you’re scared, I can stop. I don’t want to push you into anything,”

“It’s not that, I just can’t see what you see. But I want to. I want to see myself in your eyes, if you can do that,”

“All you gotta do is give me a signal if you want me to stop. I’ll try my best but you’re gonna have to relax, baby,” he has no idea what his words are doing to you. You just nod as he smiles, leaning down to kiss your forehead. He isn’t rough and excited, but rather gentle and soothing. Hands running under the hoodie eventually go up to the zipper, slowly pulling it down. It’s a small thing, but you notice his eyes flickering to your face for any sign of distress. Evening your breathing, you let him completely pull the zipper down as your skin is completely bare to him. You hide your face in shame, ready to apologize and have a million excuses lined up, but he doesn’t let that happen when he starts licking your chest.

“Oh!” Your hands thread through his hair, softer than you expected as it barely brushes against your skin. His eyes are still on you, your fingers moving his strands away so he could clearly see you and you, him. The way his predatory gaze latches onto your face has heat pooling between your legs, rubbing them together to create some kind of friction. Keeping his tongue connected to your skin, his eyes on yours, he moves onto one of your breasts. Popping your nipple into his mouth, he swirls the perked nipple in his mouth as his hand tweaks your other nipple. You’re panting, your head is thrown back as he continues. Soon enough, just rolling your nipples in between his fingers is not enough.

Gathering spit in his mouth, he lets it dribble onto your skin. It’s warm and slick, when he smears it across your other breast as goes back to tweaking your nipples. You look down at what he’s doing only to find him grinning devilishly at you. He then goes down to your stomach, biting into the flesh there. “Bokuto!”

“What? I just wanna taste you,” he shrugs, before licking the area he bit. He has a lot of spit, too, sucking into your flesh and leaving behind a bite mark and his saliva. It’s.. kind of gross, but hot. When he comes back up to your face, he pushes his lips against yours so forcefully that you’re reeling back, mouth opening as he slips his tongue in. It’s a deep, passionate kiss as he runs his hands over your body, squeezing anything he can as he slips his fingers into your pants. “May I?”

“Of course.” Once he has the okay, he moves back down, occasionally leaving love bites as he does. Pulling down your pants, he finds himself face to face with your damp panties. You don’t have time to get embarrassed, however, when he sticks his nose into your crotch and licks the fabric. “What is up with you and licking?” You giggle, finding humor in it. He just pops back up, shrugging. You giggle again, throwing your head back in the pillows. He goes to pull down your panties, sliding them down your legs until they’re completely off. Except for his hoodie, you’re completely naked.

Now if only you could have his cum in you, then would his wet dream be complete. However, there was one more thing he’s always wanted to try, but he’s worried you’ll be against it. “Babe?”

“Is something wrong?”

“No! No! Nothing’s wrong!” He hates how your mind immediately goes negative. Your shoulders relax and your wide eyes slowly lessen as you realize nothing wrong, yet. “Um, can you sit on my face?”

“Bokuto, I don’t-“

“C’mon, please? I’ve always wanted to try it! Especially between them delicious thick thighs of yours,” he then licked his lips with a resounding moan. Although embarrassed, you roll your eyes.

“If I’m too heavy, let me know. I’ll— I’ll get off,” you prop yourself up on your hands, feeling his spit ooze down your body. “You have a lot of spit. Reminds me of how much you sweat,”

“I produce a lot of liquids, y’know?” If it wasn’t for his wiggling eyebrows as he widely grins, you would not know he meant it to be sexual.

“Lay down!”

“Yes, ma’am,” he excitedly gets on his back, his bulge much more prominent than before now that it’s just there. You can see it. You’re still hesitant, but eventually move to straddle his face. He helps you, easily maneuvering your dripping cunt over his mouth. With his strong hands, he forces you down on top of him to the point where your legs can’t keep you up. You attempt to get up, afraid you’re crushing him but he keeps you firmly planted on his face.

A growl erupts from his throat when he gets tired of your squirming, you halting your movements as you try to calm down. His thumbs run over the skin of your thighs to try and soothe you. And it works. You’re feeling lightheaded as he sucks and licks your cunt and probably makes it messier than it is. He brushes his teeth over your clit, sending shivers down your spine as you moan from the feeling. With a grin, you can tell, he gets to work on tongue fucking you as well as sucking on your clit. It isn’t long until your fingernails are digging into his abdomen as you let out a high moan as you come undone on his face. He moans himself, using his thick tongue to gather up every ounce you produced. He also makes a loud slurping noise as he cleans it up.

You move off of him, panting as you look at him. He looks absolutely blissed out, like he saw Nirvana and Heaven all at once. You smile at him, his own smile wide and proud. He immediately gets up, pushing hips lips against yours once more as he licks the corners of your mouth. He is quickly moving to pull down his sweatpants and boxers, but hesitates. “You sure you want this?”

“You aren’t allowed to stop now,” you giggle as he glows, pulling down his pants. Your eyes go wide as you realize how big he actually is. The bulge in his pants was nothing. It is scary, you wondering if it’ll fit.

“Everything okay? Do you— Do you not want it?” He sounds so sad, you immediately coo at him, forgetting the third leg he has.

“No, no, no baby! It’s just— you’re very big. I did not expect that. Just be gentle, yeah?”

“Of course!” Another kiss to your lips, this one more of a peck than a passionate open mouthed kiss. “Can you get on your hands and knees?” You listen to him, rolling over on your stomach before getting in position. This way, you don’t have to worry about seeing him and can focus on what he’s doing, so it’s better in a way. Really, Bokuto just wants to end the night with you on your back and he plans on having you shaking from multiple orgasms before it’s over. He guides his cock to your entrance, a shaky breath leave him as his tip brushes against your folds. You shiver yourself, feeling yourself about to cry, but you wait.

Once he pushes into you, the tears come out for a different reason. “I’m sorry, it’ll feel better in a moment,” he licks your cheek, nuzzling you. You nod as you try to relax, him continuing to push into you. It isn’t until he nudged against your cervix does he stop. Even then, he is still not completely in you. He focuses on evening his breathing, inhaling your shampooed hair. It’s hard to not blow his load so quickly, you squeezing him so tightly. You’re nice and snug, though, your walls eventually relaxing as he stays inside.

“You can— you can move, Bo,”

“Fuck yeah,” he grunts, pulling out only to roughly thrust into you. You lurch forward from the thrust, immediately dropping your mouth open to moan as he sets a steady pace. It’s not fast or slow, but he’s definitely rough with his thrusts. It’s the grunts that really do you in, the way his hands grab at your ass and hips, sounds of pleasure coming from his as sinks his cock into your cunt that has you tightening around him. With a mewl, you have another orgasm and he curses, a low “shit” coming out as he struggles to pull out. He leans down to put his mouth next to your ear, biting the shell as he continues. He doesn’t even break a sweat as he does, stilling himself deep inside you as he lets out a low groan, your eyes scrunch together as you whimper. His cum fills you up to the brim, his hips swiveling to make sure he’s all done.

Well, for that round.

You’re panting heavily as he leaves you, leaning back as he watches your legs shake. His cum oozes out of you, your cunt clenching as it makes more pour out. It’s a beautiful reality, but he wants more. You’re soon flipped onto your back as he is over you again, his hands on the back of your knees, pushing them up. It’s not uncomfortable, but it’s not a very comfortable position, either. Confusion is etched in your face as he does, but his lidded eyes as he licks his lips tell you he’s not done. You’re exhausted, but he’s not.

He wastes no time in sinking himself back into you, his eyes focused on your face as you moan. His grin is almost evil, the way his lips stretch as he bottoms out inside you before roughly thrusting into you. It didn’t take long for another orgasm to start to buildup in you, your head thrown back as your back arches, your head turned to the side as he leans down to lick and bite your collarbone, sinking his teeth into the soft flesh. His hands find yours, intertwining his fingers with yours as he brings them up to your head. You focus on the way his arms flex, the muscles bulging with each thrusts as he puts every ounce of effort into the action. It really shows to how much he loves you and your body.

Even with all the marks on your body, even with all the places he’s touched and licked, that gnawing thought of you worrying nags him. The thought that you’ll still not know just how much he loves you. The thought that you’ll think it was a one time thing. He needs to know you know. He needs to know you’re seeing things in his perspective now. One hand leaves yours, it finding itself around your throat.

“Say my name,” he grunts, alternating his gaze between your face and his cock disappearing inside you. It’s something he’ll never get over. Maybe next time, he can record you two.

“B-Bo—“

“No, my given name. I want you to scream it,” his grip on your neck gets tighter, your walls tightening at the same time. He groans as he throws his head back, his thrusts slowing down as he drags his cock against your walls. “I want your neighbors to know who’s fucking you,”

“You, Kōtarō!” You loudly moan, humming in pleasure as he picks up the pace.

“Who’s making you feel this good? Who does your little cunt belong to?”

“God, you! It belongs to Kōtarō!” You scream, your eyes rolling back as his hands go back to under your knees, pushing them up to your chest. It’s hard to breathe, but you’re clamping down on his cock as a sheen of white forms around it, your slick dripping down your ass and down his balls. The last urge he needed to fuck you like an animal was that, you screaming his name. Your ands wrap around his neck, the material of his jacket rubbing against his thick neck as your nails take down his back. Hissing, he fucks you faster and harder, determination set to get you to one more orgasm. It doesn’t take long, your mouth hanging open as you come undone for one last time, him burying himself as far as he can as he spills another load into you. It’s heavy and fulfilling, but it’s wonderful. A wonderful feeling of being loved.

As you both come down from your highs, he gives you another sloppy kiss. Instead of pulling out, he released your legs and lays on his side, taking you with him.

“Shouldn’t we clean up?”

“That can wait. I don’t wanna leave quite yet,” he pants out, another sloppy kiss. Like he can’t get enough.

Really though, he can’t. He loves you too much

[valdomarx]

La Campanella

McShep + Rodney plays the piano Rodney never could resist a challenge, especially when it’s set by Sheppard.

Atlantis is a place of many wonders, but Rodney's favorite is this:

In a distant part of the northern pier is a short, squat tower which he and Sheppard investigate on a routine patrol.

And in that tower is a large, unassuming room like a lecture hall.

And in the center of the room is an object seven foot long and three feet high, elegant, delicate, and familiar.

“Is that…” Rodney practically runs over to touch it, as reckless as that urge can be in Atlantis, but he knows this isn’t a weapon or a piece of broken technology or some dangerous machine. It’s a thing of beauty.

It’s an instrument remarkably like a piano: white and black reversed, keys slightly different lengths, but the same 12-step configuration making up an octave. Keys which strike strings stretched over a wide frame with soft hammers, and this can’t be a coincidence.

“How... ” he starts, and then he answers his own question. “The Ancients must have invented this instrument and brought the concept with them to Earth. But that would overturn so much musical history they’ll have to rewrite the textbooks, can you even imagine the implications -”

John does not look as fascinated by the profound repercussions of this discovery on the history of western classical music as Rodney is.

He waves questions of history aside and sits on the low stool in front of the keyboard, blowing away the years of accumulated dust. His hands instinctively settle into arches, his wrists loose, and he plays a few simple scales. The notes sound out clear and true, but -

He frowns.

“Something wrong?” Sheppard is leaning over the instrument, studying him and it with interest.

“This is tuned half a tone lower than an Earth piano. Feels a bit weird, that’s all.”

“How do you know that?”

Rodney affects his smuggest smile. “Perfect pitch, obviously.”

“Obviously,” Sheppard says, rolling his eyes.

Rodney looks around the room furtively, keen for reasons he can’t articulate that no one else should observe them, and he starts to play.

-

It becomes a habit, a place to unwind, somewhere they visit on off hours and in quiet moments.

Today Sheppard is flicking through a golf magazine while Rodney warms up with some Bach. The music is pleasing and orderly, and the sparse, bright notes explode in fractal-like patterns, unfurling and changing and becoming more complex the closer you look.

John tilts his head to one side and says, “You know there���s a whole bunch of classical music on the Atlantis server?”

Rodney grins. He did know that, in fact. Never get between a team of scientists and their file sharing. “I may have heard.”

“I listened to some of the Chopin you like. Then some other piano stuff as well.”

“Yeah?” Rodney picks at a fingernail. Something about the idea of John listening to music just because Rodney likes it makes his heart beat a little faster. “Find anything you liked?”

“A bunch actually. Have you heard of a piece called La Campanella? By a guy named Liszt?"

"Have I…" Has he heard of the single hardest piece in the entire solo piano repertoire? The fact he could never get those double stops right haunts him to this day. "Yeah, it rings a bell."

"I like that one," John says decisively. "It's nice."

Nice??? Sheppard thinks the most epic and demanding piece of all time is nice? Of course he does.

"You should learn to play it," John says casually, like he's suggesting they watch an action movie instead of a scifi.

"I should -" he splutters. "Do you have any idea how difficult that is? It's practically impossible."

John smirks and says, "I thought practically impossible was your specialty?"

Rodney is still spluttering when John throws him a wink and walks out.

-

And then, because despite being the finest mind in two galaxies, on some level he truly is an idiot, he stretches out his fingers and starts to practice.

-

It's not like he had copious free time to start with. But he makes space whenever he can to come to the piano room, chipping away at this ludicrous piece, bit by bit, phrase by phrase, over and over and over.

People think that learning to play is artistry, and maybe it is that too, but mostly it's a grind. You keep doing it again and again until you get it right. It's as much about stubbornness as about skill.

And stubbornness is something Rodney McKay has in abundance.

-

Liszt really was a sadistic old bastard, Rodney thinks sourly as he works on the right hand jumps until his fingers turn to lead.

-

Sometimes Sheppard comes and sits with him while he practices, and on those days he plays easier pieces, things which are familiar and casual. Not that John seems to pay much attention, but Rodney has the urge to impress him all the same.

He’s always having that urge around John.

-

He spends an entire week working on his goddamn trill.

It shouldn’t matter and it’s not like anyone will really listen to it. But it seems to represent something important — a sequence of paired adjacent notes, next to each other but never quite touching, bouncing off each other time and time again, a dance of two — though he doesn’t want to examine that too closely.

-

He doesn’t tell anyone else about the piano. He tells himself that’s because it’s convenient that he doesn’t have to share and can use it whenever he wants.

But really, he likes that it’s his and Sheppard’s; their own tiny secret in this vast and sprawling city.

-

He hears the piece in his sleep, and on missions, and when he’s working in his lab. It becomes a background hum of his brain, always there, a sort of yearning for the possible, the platonic ideal, the way that things could be.

He tries not to examine that too closely either, though the weight of the realization is becoming harder to ignore.

-

Eventually the piece is as ready as it's going to be. He scribbles a quick note during a meeting, folds it into a paper airplane, and throws it at Sheppard's head. He hits him right in the temple, and he manages to avoid cheering when Elizabeth glares at him.

I have something to play for you, the note reads. Meet you at 7? You know where. - R

He jots it down without really thinking, and only once he's thrown does it occur to him how soppy it sounds.

John doesn't seem too perturbed though. He smiles down at the note and meets Rodney's eye with a little eyebrow wiggle which Rodney takes to mean, Gonna impress me?

-

By the time John arrives, Rodney is all warmed up and more nervous than he's ever been about a performance. His heart is racing, and when John gives him a fond look and says, "Hey," it trips even faster.

Once he settles in to play though, there's a certain kind of mental clarity that settles over him. His hands know how to do this, he just has to sit back and let them.

His wrists are still tense as he sounds out the first few bars and then, all at once, he relaxes into it and lets the music carry him. Hours of repetition have made every chord, every melody, every insane and unreasonable jump into something almost effortless. He even forgets John is there: there’s only him, and the piano, and the music.

The music builds and builds, each section becoming more and more ornamented, more complex, more physically demanding, all at a relentless pace that sends most players reeling. But he's got this, he can do this, it turns out all he needed was a bit of motivation.

The penultimate section is his favorite: The technical parts are done and here he can throw himself into the wild, over the top glory of the final melody. And perhaps he shows off a little bit, catching John's eye and grinning at him, but that's all part of the fun.

The piece ends with a crashing, massive finale that makes him feel like a virtuoso, and then in a last few epic chords it's done, as tight and perfect a five minutes as you could wish for.

The final chord reverberates on and on through the stillness of the room, glowing out beyond the city and into the night.

"Wow." John's eyes are wide. "That was great."

Rodney preens, because that ineloquent little comment somehow means more to him than an auditorium full of ecstatic applause. Having John look at him like that makes the months of practice worth it.

"You liked it?" He's fishing for compliments, but he figures he's earned it.

"I did," John says, staring at Rodney's hands like they hold the secrets to the universe.

He looks up and blushes at having been caught staring. Then he deflects and shrugs one shoulder. “Honestly, though, it’s not my favorite piano piece.”

Rodney narrows his eyes. He has the distinct impression he’s been played. “What was your favorite then?”

"I prefer Songs Without Words."

"Mendelssohn?" he explodes. "You wanted Mendelssohn? Jesus Christ, I learned to play that when I was eight!"

John grins. "I appreciate simplicity in music."

"Then why on earth did you make me learn Liszt?!"

John has this joyous, manic light in his eyes, like he's having the time of his life here, messing around with Rodney, of all the things he could be doing. "I like watching you do impossible things."

He sucks in a breath. "I hate you."

"No you don't." John leans in, smug and delighted, and oh, Rodney is so in love with this ridiculous, infuriating man that he could burst. "You learned La Campanella for me."

"It wasn't that hard," he says quickly, because he has a reputation to maintain here. But John laughs and gives him this soft, teasing look, one eyebrow quirked at a ridiculous angle beneath the chaotic mess of his hair, and Rodney is defenseless.

"Whatever you say, McKay," John says, and Rodney has the feeling he sees straight through him. "Now play it again."

[hops-hunny]

On Your Marks, Get Set, Go!!

Pairing: Neville Longbottom x Reader

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 2.5k

Request: @de4d-s0up“36,38,12 for Neville!❤️ fem reader and surprise me it can be fluff or smut OH OK IM EXCITED NOW😌 CONGRATS ON 300 BABES SO PROUD OF YOU<3”

Summary: (Y/n) spends so much time in Neville’s shadow that when she’s brought to the light she suffers from some massive stage fright and forgets her lines (not literally but like this sounds clever and you’ll get it soon. Just fuckin read it, yeah?

Warnings: None! A little angst but nothing too big, just majority fluff fluff fluff!

A/N: Can I just say that I love how well these flow together?? LIKE UGH YOU ALWAYS GIVE ME SOME GOOD SHIT TO WORK WITH!! This was very fun to write so tysm!

36.Admirer

38.Caught

12.“I’ve always liked you, you’ve just never noticed.”

If you were to ask (Y/n) who was the most attractive guy in the castle, she would 1000% say it was Neville Longbottom. For as long as she could remember, she was absolutely mesmerized by him and with time, he had gone from the adorable little guy she’d see in the hall into a charming young man who she could not be anywhere near. Yes he had a tendency to be a bit socially awkward sometimes but if anything, that added to his charm and if anything that made it even harder to talk to him. She didn’t want to have to face such an awkward interaction on why she was approaching him despite them not being friends nor having any classes together.

So she watched from afar, following him around the halls, sticking close to him whenever she could. It wasn’t in a creepy way however! She just found him to be beautiful and she couldn’t help herself. The more she thought about it she did sound like a stalker but that was such a strong word. And if he didn’t know of her existence could there really be any harm to what she was doing? That’s what she thought to herself as she stood behind the pillar, observing him as he conversed with his friends. Neville was currently laughing at something Dean had said as he shoved Seamus. (Y/n) couldn’t help the smile that was beginning to form at the boy’s laughter. His smile was simply contagious, a ray of sunshine indeed! She sighed to herself softly before biting the inside of her cheek.

“I wish he’d smile at me like that.” she murmured softly as to not alert them of her presence. If only she could speak, say even just one word to him. But alas, anytime she even attempted an utterance of a word her brain would short circuit and she went running the opposite way. It just wasn’t fair! She held tightly onto her books as dust fell from above her head, her (e/c) eyes growing wide as dust made its way into her nose. “O-oh no. Please, please ple-” she was cut off by the exact thing she didn’t want, a loud sneeze. She groaned, training her eyes to the ground in front of her. However if her luck wasn’t bad already a familiar pair of brown shoes stopped right in front of her. (Y/n) quickly snapped her head up looking at the boy of her affections. Neville stood in front of her, searching the pocket of vest for something until he pulled out a pale yellow handkerchief.

“You alright, love? That was some sneeze.” He said, holding out the small fabric to her as he offered her a small smile. She was stunned, Neville was talking to her. She kept her eyes locked with him with a shocked expression mouth agape. ‘Don’t just stand there!! Speak! Move! Do SOMETHING!!’. She slowly began to take small steps backwards, shaking her head ‘no’ frantically as she ran off down the hallway not even noticing she had dropped the little brown leather notebook she always kept on her. The gryfindor boy made a soft frown as he reached down, picking up the book. He flipped it open looking for a name relieved when he found a name on the inner cover. “(Y/n) (L/n), 6th year. Huh, I wonder why I’ve never seen her before?” He said to no one in particular as he walked back to Seamus and Dean who were laughing at the scene that had just played out in front of them.

“Geez Nev, we knew you were bad with women but that’s a whole new level!” Seamus choked out through laughs, reaching a freckled hand up to wipe the tears that had formed in his state of hysteria.

“Yeah seriously! What the hell did you even say?” Dean said, coming down from his laughter. Neville frowned some, shrugging his shoulders as he scratched the back of his head.

“I’ve got no clue. I saw she had sneezed and offered her my cloth and after I did that she just ran off! Is there something in my teeth? Do I smell bad?” He questioned, sniffing at his pits to check for any suspicious odor but found nothing but the smell of his body wash and deodorant. 

“No you don’t smell bad. Well no worse than usual that is.” Seamus said with a shrug. Neville rolled his eyes flicking him on the forehead with a scowl.

“You’re one to talk! Your natural scent is smoke and sweat, I don’t wanna hear it from you.” He grumbled out, shifting his eyes back to the book in his hands. The girl was clearly frightened of him, how was he supposed to get it back to her? “I just feel so bad, I don’t know what I did to make her so scared of me. I’ll wait a bit before I give it back to her.”

----------------------------------------

And he had done just that. (Y/n) had noticed her journal was missing but didn’t think much of it. She had a habit of losing things and assumed it would get back to her in some way and plus, it wasn’t that important. It was just filled with notes and sketches of the different mushrooms she had found on the castle grounds. Whenever she had a free period or a bit of free time on her hands, one of her favorite things to do was identify rare breeds of fungi and other various plants. And although she had missed doing that, it had only been a week and it's not like she didn’t have parchment. The only thing that was frustrating about that was that parchment and scrolls lacked the same convenience that notebooks had. (she didn’t know why Hogwarts wouldn’t just get with the times. Where were they, Camelot?)However she had faith one of her friends would bring it back to her. (Y/n) didn’t have many which is why she wondered what was taking so long for the return of her notebook.

“Hey guys, have you seen my notebook? You know the little brown one I always carry?” she asked, plopping down on the old worn down couch in the (y/h/h) common room.

“Hmm, nope! Last time I saw it you were carrying it. Why? Did you lose it?” Gwen said as she continued to read her book.

“You’re so bad with keeping track of things. You’d lose your head if it wasn’t on your shoulders.” Marco said, rolling his eyes at his friend's irresponsible behavior.

“Oh come on that was ONE time! When the potion said it’d blow your head off I didn’t think it meant quite literally!” she huffed out, crossing her arms across her chest defensively. Her eyes lit up as she was reminded of a detail. “And besides, didn’t you drink that exact potion afterwards because you wanted to know what it felt like to have no head?”

Marco was silent, whistling as he avoided eye contact with his friend before his eyes landed on a familiar lanky brunette holding a certain little book that had been missing. “Hey, isn’t that the guy you fancy? He’s got your book!” he said, pointing in the direction in which Neville was coming from. (Y/n) gasped, gathering her stuff as she muttered something about ‘being late to class’ but right as she stood up, she was yanked back down by Gwen. “Woah, not so fast track star! How are you going to get your book if you leave?”

“Y-you can give it to me! Tell him you know me. See ya!” she said standing back up but once again, she was yanked back down. “Would you quit it?!”

“No can do buckeroo. You’ve gotta get your book back somehow. Neville’s a pretty honorable guy, I highly doubt he’s gonna give your book to some people who could possibly know you. He’d wanna give it directly to you himself.” Gwen said, still not looking up from her book. (Y/n) let out a defeated sigh. She was right. Neville is the type to make sure to get back a lost item to the person themselves to avoid any chance of them not receiving it. She knew that better than anyone.

Neville wiped his free hand on his pants leg, eliminating the thin layer of sweat that had gathered on it. He was nervous to say the least. It wasn’t that he didn’t have any female friends, it was just that the female friends he did have didn’t look at him like he was you-know-who himself. Since their last meeting, he had thought about the girl a lot. He couldn’t recall seeing her before and he wasn’t the type of person people hated without any rhyme or reason so it baffled him. Someone found him intimidating? That was a new one! Neville had taken the liberty of asking his friends what he could do to be more welcoming for people but they all just seemed to laugh in his face or scoff. 

He found the question to be an absurd one for him to be asking too but for some reason, all he wanted to do was be less scary. Less scary and more approachable to the girl so maybe, maybe he could talk to the mysterious beauty who he’d never notice. That was another thing that made him quite angry. In all his years of Hogwarts, how hadn’t he noticed such a rose in its prime? Even in her frazzled state her refinement was more than apparent. She had beautiful glowing (e/c) eyes, the cutest little nose, and two beautiful petals that were more commonly known as lips. Even now as he got closer and she had that same damn look on her face, she was the most beautiful girl he had ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on and he had done a lot more than just laying his eyes on girl’s.

“I-I believe this belongs to you?” He said, holding the book out in front of her. However, all the girl did was stare up at him with wide (e/c) eyes and her pretty little lips parted in horror. The girl to her right cleared her throat, nudging her not so blasé

 in her action. (Y/n) shifted to her eyes before quickly bringing them back to Neville as she closed her mouth. “Well it’s not that I believe it belongs to you, I know it’s yours. You dropped it when you ran away from me the other day.” He said looking away as he scratched the back of his head with his hand, running his fingers through his luscious locks of brown. “Now that I think about it, that doesn’t automatically make it yours. I’m sorry for assuming! You could’ve been holding onto it for a friend or or-”

“It’s hers. Thank you Neville, that was very kind of you and I’m sure (Y/n) appreciates it. Right (Y/n)?” Gwen asked, handing her the book from the boy's hands. (Y/n) just continued to stare. No movement, no indication that she did appreciate it.

“I’ve always liked you, you just never noticed.” she said softly, continuing on with her intense gaze. Her breath hitched as her eyes almost popped out of her head, both hands flying to her mouth. Not one person spoke, all her friend’s and Neville were just as shocked as she was at the announcement. “No, no, no. Fuck!” she mumbled with a great emphasis on the last word. She quickly stood up, running away making sure to not forget her book this time. 

(Y/n) continued to whip and run through the hallway, going as fast as her legs could carry her. She paid no mind to where she was going and quite frankly she didn’t care. Anywhere far away from Neville was good enough. If him catching her behind the pillar that day was the biggest embarrassment of the year, this was the biggest embarrassment of the century. How could she speak so freely, so carelessly? All those years of sneaking around, admiring him from a far were thrown down the drain. Things would never be able to go back to how they were without him noticing her there. She slid down the wall, pulling her knees to her chest as she sobbed loudly. It didn’t matter, no one came to this hallway so she didn’t have to think about what would happen if someone heard her. She sniffled, wiping her nose on her sleeve before glancing at the book at her side. Out of a fit of rage she picked it up, throwing it at the wall in front of her. She watched as the book fell with a thud, pages open to a random observation she had made about a spore specimen.

“I’m starting to think I’m bad luck. It appears as though anytime I’m around, you’ve got tears coming out of those pretty little eyes of yours.” Neville said softly, kneeling in front of the girl. (Y/n) brought her head up, (e/c) eyes staring into hazel ones.

“You...you think my eyes are pretty?” she questioned, tilting her head some as she sat up a bit straighter. Neville reached forward, gripping her small hand in his much larger one.

“Not just pretty, the prettiest. After I met with you that first time, I couldn’t stop thinking about them all night. Despite how horrified you looked at me, they were still the prettiest shade of (e/c) I’d ever seen.” He said, smiling softly at the girl’s flustered expression. “You know I’m a bit relieved to know that you like me.”

“R-really? Why’s that?” (Y/n) questioned, gripping his hand back as he helped pull her off the ground.

“Because, that means you don’t think of me as some scary monster! I was beginning to grow quite worried, y’know?” He said, chuckling a bit. (Y/n) gasped, smacking him on the shoulder a bit.

“Hey! I was not that bad….was I?” she asked, looking into his eyes. Neville bit his lip, looking away from her. “Oh come on! Can you blame me though? I’ve had a crush on you since we were on the train to Hogwarts for the first time. I remember I was so angry that I wasn’t the one who found Trevor for you.” she said, clinging onto his arm a bit. Neville looked a bit shocked at that revelation. Most girls didn’t pay him much attention till around 5th year, had she really liked him for that long?

“Does that mean that this,” he leaned down, pecking her on the lips before pulling away, “Was your first kiss?” He asked. (Y/n) had that same expression she had during the encounter a bit ago however this time, something was a bit different. She gripped his shirt before bringing his lips back down to hers kissing him with feverish intensity. Neville let out a small moan, gripping at her waist tightly as he pinned her against the wall causing her feet to dangle in the air.

(Y/n) was right on something, things would never be the same. But sometimes change was good. That was proven to her as Neville had his tongue down her throat.

[xuyaa]

Age gaps

Ahh... I dread this but I'll speak anyway. I keep seeing people have a problem with big age gap couple in fandom. Now before your nostrils all fluff up let me say this, if you can't have an open mind or too fragile for my input please take your leave. This would be wasted on you.

About age gap on fandoms couple (canon or crack) I personally have no problem as long as both parties consent (without child grooming or forced relationship aspect) and considered legal at the start of their relationship and the legality here is not referring to our modern standard but on the couple's world and time. I'll try to explain but it might get long and boring but if you're still okay, continue.

I'll give an example, during the age of samurai if the situation permits like Uesugi Kenshin they can join battle at age 13 and there are still other examples of other famous child samurai. We call it child now because time change but during that time they were considered an adult once they enter battlefield. Why? They already trained years prior to kill and to protect their lord. Example of this in anime would be Himura Kenshin from Rurouni Kenshin. His first marriage was when he's around 16 and that was an acceptable age at that era since he was considered adult at age 14. So even though I find it icky if modern day teenager marry at that age, I can understand Kenshin's situation. If I'm still okay reading about him killing people around at even younger age I'm not gonna complain about him wanting to marry (although it's not that simple white and black for him).

You get what I'm trying to say?

More example of the acceptable norms in past era. During certain era in certain place like for example Victorian England and prior, 14 year old boys and 12 year old girls are passable for marriage depends on whether the family want it or not as it's more political than anything else. Same in China for example during the Manchurian Dynasty 14 year old girl is considered adult enough for marriage. And usually the age of the husband is always older by few years up to few decades (officials and emperor). But of course over time all of the above would change. Not by much maybe? Depend on the country I say.

Still we can't just hold the old days custom and norms on our modern day standard that would be akin to the present you calling your two or three year-old self a moron for defecating and not wiping your own ass. Or like when you do something stupid at your young age (pick whatever stupid situation that you have take as a lesson. Done?). You just didn't know better back then but now you do and from your failure you learn, although it would be better if you learn from other's lesson but I say pain is an effective lesson for oneself. Would you rather have that memories of your lesson be removed or ignored? I wouldn't. I don't know if I might do the stupid thing again just to find out whether I can or not. Same as this this whole age gap, young age marriage in the past and present in some customs thing. Don't erase the fact, don't gloss it over because people have and can still learn from them. My grandma married at young age and I came to be as the result of her choice.

Have you ever seen high schooler called Robert D Jr handsome? I've seen it recently on youtube. They call him very handsome and another video talked about cool and handsome senior male models. I've scrolled through the comments and no one seems offended that these high school girls simping for male old enough to be their granddad. These girls called them daddy and commenting how hot they are and the comments either agree or saying the girls reactions are cute. Huh... reverse the situation if these old models commenting female korean idol for example and calling them cute or hot what would people think? "creepy" "pedobear" even though senior female might think the same lines, heck maybe even we think the same lines. See the double standard people use? Maybe not everyone, but the loud ones are there. They're so loud I don't even know if they're majority or minority. I have celebrity crush too when I was young and as it happen, he's my father's age and to be frank, I would not mind an older partner if said partner is compatible and emotionaly mature. My sister is 17 years younger than her husband and they turn out well because her husband is matured enough to understand her ups and downs emotion back when they're dating, even before. Are all men mature emotionally as they became older then? No, just as not all oranges is sweet. My sister is 10 years my senior but she's more bratty than I am sometimes. Is it wrong of my bro in law to be with my sis?

Oh you're just trying to defend pedophilia anywayヽ(`Д´)ﾉ.

No stupid, I'm trying to make you think. I don't accept pedophilia, shotacon or lolicon. My sis is old enough to be called spinster when they go out. Anyway, when you follow a certain series, try to see it from their era and custom's perspective. Some era is okay with 16 year old marrying. Some tribes in Asia allow marriage between cousins while others and the majority of the world frown upon them. That's just how they see and do things. For me as long as both side consent without pressure and not in the case of 'parents sending their child for marriage without their input' thing I'm okay to leave that alone, I'm pretty much sure we're on the same page there. I hope.

So, just as when you come to another country, you adhere to their rules and norms or you have no right to complain if they deport you out for not learning beforehand and breaking their rules. Or when you have a guest come to your home and they suddenly start demanding you to do stuff their way, you should kick them out if not slapping their face. Or if you want to be kind, explain how you do things in your home and hoping they would understand and respect it.

I'm jumping around but see what I'm trying to say? I'll get to another anime example.

In Naruto for instance, they became genin at 12 and killing people left and right. People are okay with that right? Yeah well, since it was soo popular I suppose... besides it's pretty glossed over in both manga and anime. But the same people that's okay with children killing left and right, would they be okay if suddenly the mangaka put in story about one of the chara going on seduction mission? If it's carried out well as in the chara being bamf, maybe no problem. But if things went south for the chara? I'm sure there will be outrage, especially if that's a female chara or worse if it's one of the main like Sakura. See? People hold the characters, the series and the mangaka to their own convenient double standards. Back to the age gap when shipping, I pick Naruto as example because apparently Sakura was just so shippable that people actually ship her with Kakashi and even Madara and she makes easy example. Don't ask me why she's shipped with Madara and I don't ship any of the two with Sakura. Anyway, if Sakura is mature enough to choose to kill as a teenager (and don't give me crap about Sakura never killing on screen. Their line of work involves lots of death and she's been through war) she's mature enough to decide her romantic partner even if it's suddenly Orochimaru(ㆆ_ㆆ) (did they even exist?). You can say her taste is terrible because he's an asshole but don't say it's gross cause the age difference because apparently Orochimaru can just rejuvenated to new body and be as good as a babe (I wish I could too). Anyway saying it's about age on these kind of chara is just straight up lie on people's part. Another example I can think of atm is snk. I've seen people against pairing the 104th with the veterans because of age gap. Now I'm not trying to be rude, but hear me if you please. The whole 104th are trained child soldiers and they're killing titans and even humans. You're all okay with that? If you still follow the series far enough and liking it maybe you enjoy seeing the action sequence, drama and intrigue? The fact that you still come back to the series after this long proves that you're still okay with all the gores and blood spilled with all the glorious child soldier most of all. They become soldier because of circumstances you say? I'm glad you think so too! Although I must point out, the 104th did CHOOSE to be soldiers (just as Naruto and co choose to be ninja). They could be farmers or thugs for all we know. All the soldiers in snk choose their occupation, thay all trained and decide to join the Survey Corps, in fact the only one that join reluctantly in the first place is the former thug although he continues in the end. That aside, their circumstances certainly are different than us don't they? They don't even know a car and blip exist before Marley... They must have a whole lot of different mindset and norms than ours too for a civilization whose life are about survival against titans that's 100 years behind than other civilization in their world. Ever think of that?

Seeing modern day teenage in romantic lights are indeed hard as I'm sure the majority can't even survive without their gadget and parents' money. I certainly can't at that age. Immature. Even those in their twenties and thirties are immature these days. But now when one of those child soldier who have a whole lot of different mindset and maturity level is being shipped with older chara, you're against it. Okay. Maybe it's indeed easier for you to see 15 year olds regardless of their profession to commit act of violence and even kill than to love... (does that sounds okay to you?)

...I'm not saying killing mindlessly is alright because it is NOT. But that would need a whole lot different threads and time to spare and maybe someone else can do it or already done it before me.

But here's the good thing, even when the ship starts when they grow and at the modern legal age of 18 and 19, or even far above like centuries, it's still not okay for some people to ship them. I don't mind if it's your preference and you don't go disturbing other's corner when they don't even enforce their ship as words of god and even acknowledging that 'yes, maybe it's not canon and just our bits of fun' but sometimes it got to the point of belittling those who do ship age gap couple and treat them like a criminal in need of help or wishing them death. Seriously? Yes. People are that immature.

If you don't like a ship because you think your own is better, fine. Do your thing in your corner but don't go to other people's corner just to talk shit without even knowing why they ship what they ship. Most of this ship is just in our head in the end, and even if your ship is canon it does not make you any greater in real life.

I can't think of anything else to say now, but thanks for reading with open mind. ◝(⑅•ᴗ•⑅)◜..°♡

Now before anyone waste their time typing out comments, I refer to my first paragraph. Here's some imaginary flower for you all🌷

Apparently I'm not clear enough so I fix my wording. I'm here not defending minor and old people relationship but age gap couple who happen to be aged up to acceptable age despite their profession. Here's some choco🍫

[ladykissingfish]

A Date with an Angel // Part Three // Sasori and Itachi

Sasori

“Do you like this place? It’s really colorful, isn’t it?” “It’s alright.” “These nachos are delicious. Do you want some?” “No thanks, the cheese would upset my stomach. I’m mildly lactose intolerant.” Konan just sighs to herself and picks her drink back up, slowly sipping as she tries to think of a good topic for conversation. Earlier, when the redheaded house member Sasori had invited her to spend an evening with him, her surprise had been greater than with any of the others so far. When she’d first been introduced to the household back when she moved in, she’d taken one look at Sasori and had been shocked; later on she sat in Nagato’s room and demanded to know why he was employing children to do the type of work that they did. “Children?”, he’d responded, shaking his head. “Sasori is no child; he’s 35 years old. He’s older than me and you, even.” 35?? With his short stature, smooth, unlined face and vibrantly colored hair ... it was simply unbelievable. The more she got to know him, however, the more she realized that he was indeed very mature; maybe too mature. He never smiled, never laughed, and made even less conversation than Kakuzu did. Whenever Konan made meals, he never joined any of the others at the table. “Don’t worry; it don’t have anything to do with you or your cooking,” Deidara had told her one night when she questioned it. “The guy just never eats. Hardly sleeps, either. It’s like he’s not human or something.” Considering his quiet, serious personality, his choice of venue to take Konan to tonight was entirely odd. “A comedy club?”, she’d asked, as he guided her through the doors. “Mm. They’re amateurs but really quite good. I’m sure you’ll laugh a lot.” And laugh Konan did — but not Sasori. His facial expression didn’t change once all evening, and he didn’t so much as crack a smile through even the most hilarious of acts. Now it was the interlude between sets, and Konan was trying to find something, anything to make conversation about. Before she can, the next guy comes on. It’s a man with a small dummy that he sits on his knee, that “tells” the jokes for him. Konan happens to glance at Sasori and is startled; for once, he seems interested. His eyes stay fixated on the little wooden toy throughout the man’s set, and when he’s done, it’s the first time that Sasodi cracks any kind of a smile. “Are you a fan of ventriloquism?” Sasori turns towards her, and unleashes more words than she’s heard him say in the entire time of living at the house. Sasori is gesturing, he’s vivid and animated as he explains the process of creating dummies and puppets, and the finer points of ventriloquism. “I didn’t know this was a hobby of yours.” He raises an eyebrow, and tells her it goes far beyond a hobby. The show is over so he takes her back home, and brings her straight to his room (which she’s never seen the inside of before). She gives a little gasp upon entering; Sasori’s shelves are filled to the rafters with various wooden constructs, some unfinished, some painted, some clothes, some with hair and jewelry and —

Konan goes to pick up a smaller one laying on a bench, gently turning it this way and that. “This is so realistic,” she says, softly. “I wish I had the patience for creating art like this.” “What do you mean? Your art is amazing as well.” She blinks when he says that; surely he’s not referring to — “I’ve been in awe of your origami for quite some time. The things you create are very beautiful. I’d love it if you could teach me your technique sometime.” Konan blushes; nobody except Yahiko had ever complimented her origami hobby before. She sees a piece of paper laying on his desk, and begins slowly folding and teaching him how to make a basic flower. After observing and asking questions, he’s able to replicate the simple lotus. She then asks him if he could walk her through the process for creating one of his pieces, which he does, from sanding to sculpting to painting. “Things like this are better than humans,” he tells her, quietly, at one point. “These you can create, and you can control. But you never really know what a person is thinking, or feeling, or what they’re going to do next.” At the end of it, Konan glances up at the clock on his wall and gasps: 1am?! Where had the time gone?? She gets up and thanks Sasori for (what turned out to be) a lovely evening. He hesitates, then takes her hand and gives it a light kiss. “You are welcome to come back any time you wish,” he says, as he walks her to his door. “I’m a night owl so if I’m not out on a job, I’ll be awake and working.” She nods, smiles, then returns to her own room. Before she falls asleep she thinks of another flower to teach him: the campanula. These bright blossoms offer beauty, and intricacy ... and are a symbol of new friendships.

Itachi

“Oh my Goddd.” “What’s wrong, Konan?” “Nothing; it’s just, I haven’t felt this relaxed in a while. Itachi smiled and took a sip of his lemonade, before answering, in his quiet way, “Me, too.” When Konan had been approached by the dark-haired Itachi earlier in the day and asked if she wished to spend some time with him that afternoon, she’d been excited. Itachi was somebody that mostly kept to himself within the house; always quiet, very soft-spoken but when he DID speak he always said the most profound things Konan had ever heard. He was one of the most calm and mature members of Nagato’s team, an Konan’s shock upon discovering that he was only 21 years old was immense. One night she went into the kitchen to cook everyone a meal, and was pleasantly surprised to find Itachi there ahead of her, doing prep-work for the dish she had said she was going to make. From then on, the two developed a slow, lovely friendship, punctuated mostly by them cooking together and occasionally watching a movie in the living room. Today however was the very first time she went anywhere with him in public, and she was nearly flabbergasted when they pulled up to a well-known luxury spa. “This — Itachi this kinda stuff is expensive. I can’t let you —“ but he just waved her off, took her inside, and told the lady behind the desk that they both wanted “the works”. A slow, soothing full-body massage, manicures and pedicures, eye and hair treatment, mud masks, as many desserts as they wanted (Itachi especially seemed to have a thing for the sweet dumplings), and now, a hot tub. “I wouldn’t have thought a guy would be into stuff like this,” Konan commented, reaching for her sweet tea. “Man or woman, everyone needs the chance to relax, don’t they?” Konan nods, and then says “Well I’m sure that all of you that work for Nagato do. But me? What am I doing that I deserve something like this? MY job isn’t nearly as stressful, and —“ “You take care of all of us. You’re there for us. That may sound simplistic, but that’s no small feat, my dear.” The two are quiet for a while, listening to the relaxing nature-esque background music of the spa, before Itachi says, quietly, “If — if you ever feel like talking about HIM, you can talk to me. I don’t know if you’re ready but I want you to know I’ve experienced loss, too.” Konan closes her eyes; while she appreciates Itachi’s kindness, she’s NOT ready to talk about Yahiko. So she asks instead, “You lost someone close to you?” He nods, faces her, and tells her the story about losing his parents in a car accident when he was 12. His voice wavers when he tells her that they were coming home from a parent-teacher conference for HIM, and how, for the longest time, he blamed himself for their deaths. “Me and my younger brother Sasuke were taken in by my older cousin Shisui,” he explained, now smiling. “Nice guy but definitely not father material. I guess it’s just the Uchiha curse; you lose someone and have to go to someone else. It happened to me, to Obito —“ Konan stops him, and is REALLY surprised to learn that Itachi and Obito are distant cousins. “But anyway, I just want you to know I get it. If the day ever comes when you want to talk, I can be there for you.” She scoots over in the water and hugs him; she blushes when she realizes her towel has slipped, and for a brief few moments their bare chests are touching. “S-sorry about that,” she says, backing away and covering up. “Don’t worry about it,” he replies; but he’s blushing quite hard as well. The drive home is quiet, each feeling comfortably invigorated and relaxed. When they get to the front door, Konan leans up and kisses Itachi’s cheek, thanking him for a lovely day. He tells her that she made the day even lovelier. They go inside and all of the boys make it a point to go up to Konan and tell her how great she looks after her day of pampering, which she appreciates. She goes into the kitchen to start dinner, and once again finds Itachi there ahead of her. She smiles and ties on her apron, and the two create another delicious meal together.

[blysse-and-blunder]

in lieu of a commonplace book

6pm, sunday, sept 12, 2021

what, again? i hear you cry. yeah, me too. this is a quick a roundup after the zeroth week of the term which is promising to be the most chaotic yet.

reading finished watership down! i get the reputation that this book has now, for making cute woodland creatures dark and dramatic-- but it was the mythological/linguistic/poetic stuff that i liked the most. the lapine vocab just always ended up...sounding and tasting very satisfying, good mouth feel. and at last section with the assault on efrafra was so stressful-- and the various twist endings!-- and i was glad to realize that i'd gotten personally invested in a couple of characters; seeing bigwig in the epilogue, having grown old, having survived, hit me hard.

i also finished the chosen and the beautiful, and turned around and have told everyone i talk to about it. i've also picked up aliette de bodard's in the vanisher's palace, and it has been reminding me incessantly about the d*sney film raya and the last dragon, which i watched a little bit of on the plane to nyc. like!! the world building, the dragons, the post-apoc setting, the big gay energy. this novel seems to only have characters who use she or they pronouns, and they address pronouns in some interesting ways too, to convey formality, register, intimacy between characters, etc. i wish the overall writing style was less variable though-- the geometry of the titular palace is meant to be anti-geometric, nausea-inducing, dizzying, and sometimes the jumps from scene to scene almost mirror that?

listening this is my memo to myself to click on my mutuals' music links more often. i took a chance on @girlfriendsofthegalaxy's cowboy-joke post of miya folick's "stop talking (about that boy)" and then spent a solid week on a miya folick kick, just listening to her same album premonitions. i don't know if i can shoehorn my dnd character's backstory into the lyrics of "deadbody", but something about the righteous fury in her voice, it really does feel like faertrin, and in my head it's an anthem for my weird little man. please listen to it for its own sake, though, the video makes it clear that it's really about domestic violence vel sim, not dnd revolutionaries.

watching nothing quite like getting to the end of the timeskip in the untamed in grand style, with lotus root and rib soup made by the inimitable @pep-squad-lizzie, a heartbreaking montero powerpoint by @dimir-charmer, dessert by @hematiterings, and emperor's smile by me, after nearly eight months of working on this show together. y'all. the catharsis. i can start posting things from my drafts folder now that Certain Characters are dead, thank god, i only have uhhhhh 1k drafts or so.

playing my dnd campaign one resumes tomorrow! they're all coming over to my back porch, for my first time hosting after being in this group for more than a year! i'm feeling extremely normal about this!

making a housemate and i threw some brownies together last night, while keeping out of the way as an outgoing housemate moved out-- it went fairly quickly, wasn't nearly as tense as i was afraid it was, and we sent them away with a mushy brownie piece each. phew.

working on in a rare moment of only having one (more or less) project to work on, i actually sent my prof a draft outline of the paper the same week i had planned to, as well as the updated draft of the intro essay with all the changes she asked for. now to...outline a diss proposal..........spent thursday being back in an academic library for the first time since march 2020, which was fine, even mildly comical as i watched new students try to navigate the stacks elevators, it was very like 'well this is business as usual and not even that nostalgic' up until i stepped into one of the classrooms in this particular niche topic-specific library on campus, which just looked so...hopeful and nervous and expectant, with its carefully marked seats and hand sanitizers. when will there be an in-person palaeography class in there again? not this fall. but the room is ready. :')

[melyaliz]

Remember Me 9

Master List

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Pairing: Bakugo Katsuki x OC

Notes: I'm due in a little over a month... and it's the weirdest feeling.

All Masterlists @melyalizarchive​

Connect with me! AO3 / Instagram / Pinterest / Newsletter

DONATE

Check out my published work.

--------Olive---------

“Oh my god, I can’t breath” Olive giggled, crumbling into Eliott’s lap. Her husband smiled down at her gently playing with her hair.

“This is serious Olive!” Eliott said, his smile melting away to a very strained serious one. His dark brown eyes studying her face, “it’s the greatest story ever told. Guy dates a woman, woman’s ex is a mob boss who is involved in an illegal fashion, mob boss’s daughter almost gets killed. Now the guy must use his skills from the years of being in the other four movies to get revenge on his girlfriend’s daughter’s father. Tale as old as time “

“I’m just saying they should have killed the guy and the daughter could have gone full ninja killer and taken out her father and his gang.” Olive giggled, wiping her eyes from the tears of laughter that had been rolling down her cheeks.

“That would probably have been a better movie… but would it also have bad dummy shots?” her husband asked.

“Of course” sitting up inspiration struck, “I have an idea!” Eliott watched her as she sat straight up. “You write the action and I will write the romance.”

“How much romance will there be if the daughter is 12 years old.”

“Well romance and character stuff.” she shrugged, “And you can add in all the poorly done dummy blow-ups you want.”

“I will,” Eliott said nodded, “But only if I can use sex dolls.”

“Like, Hard Ticket to Hawaii? Oh, wait! Now hear me out” Olive giggled scooting up so she was now straddling her husband taking his hands in her own. A goofy smile spread across Eliott’s face as he weaved his fingers into her own.

“Oh are we at the wait stage of drunk Olive?”

“Shhhh” she giggled leaning forward slightly brushing her nose on his, “But really, this is serious.” Cleaning her throat for dramatic effect she continued, “a Hard Ticket to Hawaii Death Wish 4 crossover.”

“Oh girl,” Eliott said, his voice hitting a higher pitch on his girl . Olive giggled pushing herself forward so she was resting on his chest.

“I love you.”

“No way really?” Eliott gave a fake gasp  “That’s sooo weird because you know what? I love you too”

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

“ So just be ready,” Kirishima said, prepping the gang, “She’s… the same but different. ”

The group nodded in unison, game faces ready for whatever was coming. And that something was slowly walking toward when in the form of Bakugou and Olive.

Right off the bat it was obvious something was off. While they were holding hands it looked unnatural. Bakugou’s shoulders were hunched and he seemed to be looking anywhere but at Olive who was talking in the city as if she had never walked down this street before. Her large hazel eyes taking in everything, mouth slightly open.

“Olive! Bakugou!” Kirishima said, waving. At the sound of his voice, Olive looked up and waved, a smile on her face as she looked over at the group of others standing with them. Her eyes intently taking everyone in as if searching for something that wasn’t there

“ Hello! ” she said as they both stood there awkwardly. Hands had been let go and now hanging at their sides. Limp as if unsure what to do.

There were a few more awkward nodes before Kirishima led them all inside toward the balcony seating, their usual stop. “T his place is amazing! ” Olive said looking around her eyes wide as she took in the atmosphere. Everyone froze as the blissfully unaware woman turned to her husband, “ How did you find this place Katsuki? ”

“ I didn’t, you did,” he said as everyone around him winched slightly. The awkwardness was so thick you could almost taste it, and it didn't taste good.

“Oh.” her voice soft as she bit her top lip looking down at her purple painted nails. She had found her polish that morning and had decided to try out the fun colors.

There was a long pause when Mina spoke up, “How’s Clare and Lilly and the others? ”

Olive blinked looking up, “ You know the girls? ”

“ Yeah, we have wine and Rupaul's Drag race nights. I think the last one we did was about a month ago wasn’t it? ” the last statement, more of a question than a comment.

“Uhhh” Olive shrugged unsure how to respond

“ She doesn’t remember it ” Kaminari mumbled to the little pinked haired girl. And again there was a lapse of awkwardness. Turning to Momo from across the table Olive pointed to her shirt.

“ I love your shirt so cute! ” she said, stumbling slightly over her words. Momo lit up pointing to the shirt that Olive had gotten Momo for the hero’s birthday. The words “Females are strong as hell” in English was written in script across the chest. She had gotten it because she always told Momo, who was the 4th hero and number 1 female, that she was the most badass out of everyone (and that ranking didn’t mean shit). Also, they were both addicted to “Unbreakable Kimmy Shimitt”

“Thank you, I’m Momo '' the dark-haired hero said, noticing how much Olive was struggling trying to piece together who was who. Before they had come Momo and her fiancee Shoto Todoroki had decided to treat her like they had met for the first time. “ and this is Shodo, my fiancee .”

“I’m Mina! ” Mina said quickly and everyone else followed suit with a quick round of introductions.

“Yeah, I have pictures ” Olive lit up at the introduction. “The fair.”

“What picture did you have ?” Momo asked, leaning forward.

“This one of the fair? ” Olive said, holding up the phone leaning over the table to hand her the phone. Watching them Kirishima chuckled leaning toward Bakugou.

“Why are they across the table from each other?”

Bakugou shrugged, rolling his eyes, not shocked by the poor seating choices. After coordinating this whole night was he really now in charge of seating as well?

“Oh, that was so fun. ” Momo smiled looking at the photo. Memories of her trip to the US where Olive had given her the grand tour.

“ Oh is that the American Fair? What other pictures do you have? Do you have the one from when we all went to that spa? Do you have the one of us in those masks making the peace sign? What about... ” Mina was bursting with questions going way too fast for Olive to keep up. The poor girl’s smile looked slightly strained as she tried to look like she was understanding more than every other word from the excited pink haired girl.

“You’re going to fast for her! ” Bakugou barked out noticing the very overwhelmed look in his wife’s eyes, “ She's still learning .”

“Oh sorry Olive” Mina whispered looking down at her hands feeling her face flush.

“Don’t yell at her.” Olive said good naturally in English nudging Bakugou playfully with her shoulder. The blonde looked like the wind had been knocked out of him her words cutting him harder than he wanted to admit. “Which picture did you want to see Mina?”

Before the pink girl could respond the waiter came up to introduce herself and take drink orders.  A look of desperation came over Olive’s face as she looked down at the menu. Anxiety quickly flooded her system. The social pressure of trying to be normal while navigating a language she was still learning was extremely stressful. And this was besides the fact she had no idea what was good here or what she would like to order. Did she had a regular drink here? If so, what was it?

Desperately she looked down at the Japanese characters as if they would suddenly jump out and give her all the answers.

A large hand slammed over the menu making Olive lookup. Bakugou’s intense red gaze met her hazel one.

“I’ll order for you,” he said softly in English, more of a statement than an offer. His red eyes studding her as if reading all her thoughts. She smiled softly at him making him flush slightly looking away from her to the waiter ordering quickly.

“Thank you” she whispered, her hand gently brushing against his arm. Her fingertips leave a trail of goosebumps in their wake. It felt like her touch was fire.

Quickly he rubbed his arm as if he could put out the flames that were licking at his skin.

Fuck. He had it bad.

“Yeah well you looked so lost.” he grumbled looking away turning to Kirishima who was intently watching the conversation with the most annoying smile on his face. “ What are you looking at? ” Struggling Kirishima’s annoying smirk didn’t fade but he offered no explanation for his expression.

Typical.

Lucky for Bakugou the conversation shifted to other things. Work, life, weird food Kaminari had tried last week on his trip to Bermuda.

Olive quickly picked up her conversation with Momo about the place she was looking into for her wedding and life in general. Since they were - as Kirishima had pointed out- sitting across the table from each other, Olive had to basically lean up over the top of the table to shout of the music that was playing in the background.

Bakugou couldn’t help but frown watching as his wife literally looked like she was crawling over. Her eyes bright as the two talked. It was the most enthusiastic she had been in a long time.

“If you want to be with her so bad go sit over there, ” he said, it came out much harder than he had meant it to be. But he was annoyed and sometimes -ok most times- had a hard time masking his emotions. Olive blinked looking up at him confused for a moment before getting up from her seat moving over - much to Momo’s delight- to sit down next to her. He could see her pulling out her phone probably to show off pictures of Dolemite. Or maybe to ask more about the people who littered it. He could tell she felt awkward about asking him those questions. Knowing it hurt.

But also he wanted her next to him. To feel her next to him. To know she was still there with him.

“ OMG I love this song !” Mina squealed as a song came on.

“ Let’s dance, ” Momo said, getting up knowing Olive loved to dance. Normally she was the one dragging the girls onto the floor. At the promise of dancing Olive lit up as she stood to follow them. However before she left she glanced over at Bakugou, as if checking in with him.

“Why are you looking at me? Go!”

Olive flashed him a wide smile before following the girls into the crowd. The other two girls grabbed her laughing as they swayed with the music. Not having to talk just laughing and enjoying each other’s company. The universal girl code of good music and alcohol.

Three songs later and she was slowing down, taking a moment to breathe looking around the dance floor.

And that was when she thought she saw him.

Long blonde hair pulled up in a man bun. A basic flannel shirt, on the shorter side with broad shoulders leaning on the bar, his back to her.

Eliott

Her brain zoned in on it, for a second she forgot he was dead. Forgot he was gone.

That first month after his death she saw him everywhere. Heard his laugh. Sensed his presence. Slowly it had gotten better. His presence slowly fading from the bright sun of the day to the dark of night or in those first moments when she was waking up. And even more recently his presence had slowly faded. Her brain too busy trying to understand this whole new life she was living to focus on the loss.

But as the man turned and she saw it was clearly not him something washed over her. Hit her right in the face crushing her inside.

She didn’t even realize she was crying until Momo came up and hugged her.

“What happened?” she whispered in English as Olive raised her hands to her face trying to stop the tears. But they wouldn’t stop. Her chest so heavy it felt like her whole body was filled with sadness and the only way out was through her tears.

“I just… I thought… I saw Eliott.” she hiccuped, “I’m sorry… I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Momo asked, frowning as she studied Olive. Mina, whose English was not as good, hovered around them both rubbing Olive’s shoulder trying to understand what had happened.

“I just… can't stop crying.” Olive sobbed trying to take deep breaths to gain control of herself.

“It’s been a lot for you.” Momo said, “come here” she hugged the girl for a moment before pulling away.

“ It’s ok to miss someone. ” Mina said, holding out a napkin she had grabbed from the bar.

“Yeah and for you it’s been very recent.”  Monmo added nodding

“I just feel guilty… Katsuki.” Olive fumbled through the words trying to explain all the emotions that were swerling like some muddy concoction in her chest.

“ Oh Bakugou can get over it. ” Momo said, waving her hand trying to keep her words simple so both girls could understand what she was saying, “ he gets all moody but he really cares about you. ”

“ Yeah, the first time I met you he was so… relaxed. ” Mina said, trying to find the right words, “ None of us had ever seen him that way before. ”

“ He was happy. ” Momo nodded, “ He will be fine, you need to focus on yourself.”

From across the bar Bakugou had lost sight of where the girls had gone. The crowd was getting thicker and thicker as the night had dragged on. He knew Olive would be safe with Momo and Mina there but still, he wanted to make sure she was ok.

And then he caught a glimpse of them. Standing at one of the far corners of the dance floor. Momo and Mina standing over Olive, hovering around her with concern on their faces. For a moment Mina moved and he could see Olive clearly, holding a small white napkin wiping her eyes.

Shit.

“ Hey bro where are you ?”

“ Just drink your beer. ” Bakugou interrupted Kirishima as he quickly made his way to the dance floor. Momo’s eyes met his and she shook her head but he didn’t care. Olive wasn’t Momo’s wife, she was his. They were supposed to be distracting her, not reminding her about her memory loss.

“Hey,” he said, reaching out for her. Olive turned eyes wide, still slightly glassy from her tears. Her makeup smudged. “Dance with me.” pulling her away from the girls who looked like they were about to protest. But one death glare from Bakugou told them not too.

He led her across the floor, his red eyes studying her as she took a few shaky breaths. Trying to compose herself. After a few moments her body slowly relaxed letting him lead as he felt her slowly lose herself in the music again.

“You dance?” she asked looking up at him.

“Depends.” he said shrugging

“Humm” she hummed, nodding like Eliott was what she was thinking. Eliott Eliott Eliott. Even Momo got more out of her than him. He felt like she was more comfortable around everyone but him. “You know” she said leaning forward resting her head on his chest catching him off guard. “I like to be with you too.”

He froze, his stomach clutching tightly, his breath coming out in a short gasp. She looked up at him with those hazel eyes studying him. “What you said about Momo, I like being with you too.”

“I heard you the first time” he said sharply only to soften quickly.

“I… I obviously liked being with you before or I wouldn’t have married you.” she added a genuine grin spreading across her face.

“That would make sense.” He said nodding as they swayed in the music both caught up in their own thoughts. Eyes meeting, dancing in the lights overhead. For a second it felt as if time stood still and Olive was sworn she wasn’t in real life but in some weird musical romcom. As if her whole life was some televised novel filled with hi-jinks and drama.

Caught up in the moment Bakugou gently leaned forward, his nose brushing hers before pausing. Her heart leapt into her throat at the soft intimate touch. Crimson eyes searching hazel for a moment before moving closer, his warm breath caressing her ear.

“Let me kiss you?”

- GET TAGGED -

Master List

Story Tag: @0hmydeku @inumorph @it-jinxed-us @myraticm

[reidetic]

Serendipity

Pairing: Spencer Reid/Reader

A/N: This is my first CM fic. I hope you enjoy! ETA: This is post season 12, pre season 13.

Content Warning: Drug use mention, alcohol mention

Summary: Reader has been away for two years, and she accidentally meets Spencer in a bar back home. Drama and angst insues. 

The first thing I notice heading into the bar is the lack of noise. There’s soft rock playing on the radio, and there’s smoke in the air that curls around like a spirit, but it’s empty. A few couples sit in the corner booths, and one lone man sits at the bar, back to the door. Dangerous, I think. To not see when anyone walks in, to have yourself so open and vulnerable. His brown hair curls over the collar of his shirt, his shoulders tense, and I can tell from here that he’s sweaty, his jack strewn haphazardly over the chair to his right. His head tilts back as the shot slides down his throat and I chuckle. He’s experienced.

 I let the door slide closed behind me, and shrug off my jacket. Charlie calls from behind the bar, “You want your usual, (y/n)?”

I shake my head. “Tonight’s a rough one. Surprise me.” I take my seat at the other end of the bar, giving the stranger some space. Besides, danger isn’t my thing and nor is vulnerability. Charlie slides a shot down to me and I toast to the air with a grin. “Here’s to a better night than I deserve.”

I glance down the bar to the man who’s now slumped over, top buttons of his shirt undone and sleeves pushed up like his skin can’t get enough exposure, like the air is the only thing keeping him calm. 

“You look worse than I feel,” I remark to the man, a small smile on my face, shot untouched in my hand. There’s something about him I can’t place.. He picks his head up at that and I stifle a gasp, and I know why he felt familiar. He immediately stands up and stumbles towards the door, trying to move faster than his drunken feet can keep up, and pushes himself out the door. I flash Charlie an apologetic face and chase after him, leaving my jacket behind. 

“Spencer!” I call out, my feet moving towards the car burned in my memory that I know well enough to know it’s his. “You can’t leave like this, please.”

“Why are you here?” He slurs out. “You left. You’re not here. I am.” He slumps against the parking meter, his hands reaching in his pockets for keys I know Charlie took from him. I reach out to him and he flinches away from me, as if my fingertips would unlock his heart more than he’s willing to allow.

“Spencer…” I falter, not knowing how to explain that his name has been inscribed on my soul for years, not knowing how to apologize for ripping away his stability. “I’m sorry.”

He laughs, a short bark and stares at me with piercing eyes as he lurches towards me. “You're sorry? For what? After all, you just saved yourself.” That hurts, that feels like a knife to my chest, and I know my face shows it because he sobers up, just a little. He steps back to lean against the meter again and stuffs his hands back in his pockets, this time as a shield instead of a search.

 “I had to.” I whisper, stepping back and wrapping my arms around myself. I find myself wishing I had my jacket, but not for the cold, wishing for something to protect me. “You weren’t there, you didn’t see.”

“I could’ve protected you!” He screams, and it’s half a sob and half a threat. His shirt is slipping off of his shoulders and he looks broken. His eyes have something behind them now, and I notice his weight shifts away from his right leg. 

“Let me take you home.” I beg, taking another step towards him, testing the waters. “Let me take care of you.” Another tentative step, and he doesn’t move. His eyes meet mine and all he says is a whimper of  “(y/n)...” before his knees hit the ground. I rush forward and hoist him up, as close to him as I’ve been in two years. I swear I can hear his heartbeat and his skin burns hotter than ever before. 

“Spencer, what have you done to yourself?” I keep the tears back and I walk him to my car, opening my passenger side door, unceremoniously shoving him in and closing the door. I step back for a second and shake my head. Two years and the man I once loved is a crumbling mess before me. Two years and my heartbreak isn’t the only one on stage. 

I climb into the car and he’s got his back against the seat, staring straight ahead. I get a good look at him in the light pouring in from the streetlights and I see the tell-tale signs for what they are. Jaunt cheekbones and bruises peeking out from his sleeves and dark veins and eyes that look like they’ve forgotten the bliss of closing. I bite my lip and hold back tears, and I mirror him, refusing to see, refusing to accept. I can hear his soft sobs and I think about saying something, about begging him to look at me and really see me for the first time in two years, but I don’t. I never have. 

When I do speak up, it’s simple. “Do you still live in the same place?” I think it’s neutral. I think it’s a small stepping stone. But Spencer explodes in a way I am not expecting, wracking sobs through his body and when I turn to look, his hands are over his head, defending and protecting himself. Through the cries I hear my name, “(Y/n)!” and I take yet another risk and pull him in, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and shushing him, running my hand over his hair, doing every last thing I can to bring him an ounce of peace. 

What have I done? My body feels like ice and fire, and he lets his hands drop and falls into my chest. His fingers creep across my arms like he’s asking for permission, and all at once he wraps his arms around me, and our bodies close the last bit of space left in the car. Our breath has fogged up the windows and I feel like laughing, remembering the last time we were here. He looks up at me and our eyes meet for the third time that night, and for the first time, he sees me. 

“Spencer.” I say quietly after his tears have slowed to a stop and his breath is the only thing left shaking. “Let me take you home.” I reach a hand out to wipe his face, and he flinches under my touch at first. “Please.” I beg.

He nods, and manages to say, “Do you still have your key?” and that’s when the laughter bubbles out of me and I feel insane. He stares at me slack jawed as I laugh and cry and let my tears fall over his shoulders. 

“I’m sorry, I just- of course I do, Spencer. What was I going to do with it?” We both sit in silence after that, picturing me tossing it off a bridge or mailing it back to him with no return address. Both things that I thought about doing, but never had the courage to follow through with. After all, it was an apartment key, not a wedding ring. 

He doesn’t comment on what I should’ve done. All he says is, “I never changed the locks.” and I crank the car. The rain starts pouring as I pull off the side of the street, and I almost smile. Rain. The start of something new, washing away the past. But we’re in the car, and the rain can’t touch us here. So I reach for the radio, and so does he. He pulls back first, and I flip to the station he always listened to in my car. You’d never know it, but he has a secret love for the top 40. I recognize the song, and a wry smile spreads over my face. 

I've missed your calls for months it seems

Don't realize how mean I can be

'Cause I can sometimes treat the people

That I love like jewelry

Neither of us talk the whole way home, but we both think so much that when the car door opens, I breathe a sigh of relief. He’s sober enough to walk now, so he opens his door and pulls himself out of the car. He leaves the door open for a moment and looks at me as if to say, “Are we doing this?” and I sigh, shut off the car, and get out. I follow him in the building, tracing the walls with my fingertips, up the stairs to the door, to his door, and just as I’m handing him the keys, he stops. 

“(Y/n/n), you don’t have to come in with me, you don’t have to take care of me.” Hearing my nickname, I look down at his outstretched hand, at the bruises dotting his arm, and I look back at him. 

“Yes, Spencer, I do.” And he takes that, for all it is. He takes the keys from my hand and he unlocks the door, and I gasp. It’s almost a mess. His things are thrown around everywhere, books lying open and takeout bags littering the kitchen counter. But my sweater is across the back of my favorite armchair where I left it, and my designated shelf of books has a fine layer of dust. I step in and my old blue peacoat is still on the coat rack. My old running shoes are neatly pressed in the corner, and his converse are scattered next to them.

He follows my eyes and says, “I couldn’t bear to move them. To move you.” I simply nod and seemingly tonight is the night I continue to choke back tears. I stand awkwardly by the door and he sits, perching on the edge of his couch.

“I don’t know what I’m doing here.” I admit, fidgeting with the strap of my bag.

“In our- my apartment?” He asks carefully. He looks hurt.

I wince. “In DC.” My toes curl in my boots and I find myself wishing I had worn more comfortable shoes. Truth be told, I didn’t expect to be wearing them this long. The intent was to pick someone up and forget all about potentially seeing Spencer Reid. After all, of all the bars in DC, he just happened to be at Charlie’s? He looks less hurt at this, but he still looks at his feet. The black converse adorning his feet are split on the sides and they don’t match his slacks and the open silk dress shirt he’s wearing, and it hits me why.

I gesture towards his feet and I say, “Are those…?” I trail off, but he knows what I mean.

“Yours? Yeah, (y/n/n), they’re yours.” He snaps, looking more sad than his voice sounds.

I flinch and it’s all I can do to whisper, “They’re too small for you.” And he almost laughs, but he just gives me a small smile.

“(y/n/n)?” He asks, testing the waters, and I inch closer to him. “Why’d you leave?”

I stop. “What?” My breath is cold, and for a moment, I think he’s joking. But then I see how small he looks, how scared. “You know I had to. I couldn’t…I couldn’t see her everywhere, Spencer.” I furrow my brow and take another step toward him. 

 “I could’ve helped you.” 

“You’re not that kind of doctor, Spence.” I say softly, letting my feet take yet another step. The nickname hits him and he closes his eyes, like he’s relishing in the pain. 

He looks at me and laughs. “The bureau has resources, I have resources, (y/n/n). You didn’t need to go through it all alone.” 

He’s right. I didn’t have to. But after my parents died, Julia couldn’t take it anymore. “Julia needed those, not me.” I bite, not meaning to lash out at him but finding myself unable to stop. Spencer stands, and he takes a step towards me, and without thinking, I follow suit. Somehow, he’s taller than I remember. He reaches out and tucks my hair behind my ear, and it’s nearly enough to bring me down. 

“You didn’t need to go through it all alone.” He echoes.

 I look him in the eyes and consider kissing him, but instead I blurt out, “When did you start taking Dilaudid again?” and he’s crushed. He steps away from me, turning around and pulls his sleeves down, and his body language changes. He shuts down again. 

“You weren’t here, (y/n).” I step towards him again, startled by the sudden change to my full name and he whirls around and screams at me, “You weren’t here!” Shocked, I stumble backwards.  He walks towards his bedroom, what used to be our bedroom, and he flings the door shut. 

“Spence, please! Please don’t shut me out.” I sink to the floor, my knees hitting the wood and for the first time since we got here I realize it is cold in here. It’s cold without him here. I’m cold without him here. I wrap my arms around myself and my eyes dart to my peacoat and then suddenly, his door swings open. 

He throws a cardboard box at me, and seethes, “Open it!” and when I don’t, he crosses to me, pulls me up by my elbow and says, “I said open it.” With shaking hands, I lift the flaps of the box and I am met with the view of at least 20 empty vials and more needles than I can count. I look up at him, begging him to tell me that this isn’t real, that I didn’t drive him to this.

“I made it four months without you before I was begging for the drugs, (y/n).” He spits your name out like it’s poison, but not the kind he fills his veins with, and lets go of your arm. 

“Spencer...I never wanted this, I never wanted to leave you.” Tears are streaming down my face and I drop the box, trying to move towards him. 

“You did! You left…you left me.” And now he’s crying, and we are both shuffling towards each other and he reaches out one hand to cradle my face. “I would’ve gone with you.”

“Spencer, I never could’ve asked you to leave, to leave the BAU, your family.” My breath is shaky and my body acts against my mind and closes the gap, my fingers reaching out to lace themselves behind the small of his back. 

He smiles a small smile, awkward and sad, and says, “You wouldn’t have had to ask. I would’ve given up everything for you. You gave up everything here, too.” I laugh, and his tears fall on my face.

“Spencer Reid, you idiot, you were my everything.” And he smiles again, a real, happy and love-filled smile, and he dips down to kiss me, and for the first time in two years, everything is okay. 

But I still know your birthday

And your mother's favorite song

[ribcage-rodents]

How Iris first had an inkling that Wally had a crush on Dick. Ok so like, bc Star and Gotham are absolutely horrifying during Halloween, Barry is like “I’ll patrol then Iris will take the babies trick or teating”

Originally Wally is really upset bc he wants to go patrolling w his uncle but once he finds out that he gets to hang out w the other hero’s he’s psyched.

So Wally is like 12-13 and dresses up as the flash naturally. Roy is like 14-15 and he’s totally too old for Halloween and over it bc he’s super angsty, and dresses up as like Jason form Friday the thirteenth or some shit bc Black Canary forces him to. Robin only ever celebrated Halloween during his circus days when everyone would paint their face scary and flying Graysons would do aerial ballet show w black fabric so it was like spiders but after that it was just horrifying.

Anyway so Barry picked up this tiny Batman costume and Iris was like “Barry hon, isn’t he like 10? Shouldn’t you get him a bigger outfit?” (He two years younger than Wally, and four younger than Roy) And Barry is like “no trust me babe he teeny”.

Batman shows up to their house followed by a tinsity winsty baby tiny Batman bc Barry ran it over b/f patrol. And wow is that cute. Tiny baby Batman is basically glued to Batman’s side, his teeny little head coming up to Batman’s lower thigh, last time Iris checked 10-year olds aren’t supposed to be that tiny but wow is it adorable. (I’m sorry I just love teeny baby Dickie& giant looming built-like-a-tank batdaddy)

Barry told her what Batman had already explained. That Robin is foreign and doesn’t really know a lot of holiday stuff and also has been severely traumatized the past couple of years and doesn’t really like strangers and knows better than to take anything from strangers.

So it’s obvious that Robin would rather be tied up and drugged w fear gas than in a family aquatintence’s home about to go trick or treating. And Iris is a little resentful of the other boys, hard as she try to be understanding, bc Wally looks so disappointed bc he just wants to have friends and these guys don’t want to have fun.

Anyway Roy is kinda warming up to the whole trick or treating thing but sometimes he can be really mean to Wally but maybe Iris is just overprotective of her boy. Iris takes several pictures during the entire night despite both Batmans being adamant about no photos.

Robin refuses to go up to any house but Iris doesn’t comment on it. She doesn’t want to alienate him, so she doesn’t say anything. She goes up and grabs him a peice of candy but he disappears into the night. She panics for a good couple of seconds but calms when tiny Batman shows up next to Wally and Roy.

She doesn’t try again after that. He likes to walk at the back of the group and every time Iris tries to keep an eye on him, bc he may be a trained hero but central isn’t as safe as smallsville and her parental instincts are going off. Every couple of blocks Wally will try to walk next to him and talk and it’ll work for a while then Robin will slow down and fall behind and Wally’s angelic little baby face gets so sad.

As their trip comes to an end Iris can see Robin wrapping the cape around him tightly w his eyes screwed shut and it breaks her heart a little bc this poor boy must be so uncomfortable and scared that he’s trying to imitate the feeling of his mentors hug. It’s a jarring to imagine Batman hugging anything but she supposes that a baby as cute as that must make even the dark knight just wanna squeeze his sweet rosy, chubby cheeks. She reaches out to place a hand on his head, bc he’s too short to comfortably put a hand on his shoulder.

He jerks back immediately and death glares her, his anger showing full force through the white eyelets. She sent him an apologetic smile and he seemed to unbistle a smidgen.

Once they were finally home Iris watched them from behind the kitchen counter. Wally and Roy were digging into the candy while Robin perched on top of the couch. He kept scratching at his arm, Barry said that it was fine as long as it was controlled. Apparently the poor baby had a pretty serious anxiety disorder and tended to scratch to make himself feel better, it was ok as long as he didn’t have an attack.

She tossed him the single candy across the room, he caught it swiftly in his tiny baby hand. (So cute) Wally shot up to his feet. “That’s not one of my candies right?” Iris smiled, her prefect gluttonous boy. “Nope it’s from your uncles,” it was lie but it didn’t harm anyone. “That’s my backup candy!” Wally cried racing towards the door and snatching up handfuls of candy from the trick or treater bowl. Iris pretend to scold him for being stingy.

Robin slowly unwrapped the candy then examined it breaking off a piece and finally eating the snickers. His eyelets widened comically and he chewed slowly staring down at the candy before shoving the entire (not that fun size is really that big) thing in his mouth. It was absolutely adorable! She wished she had take a video and wondered if this was his first ever candy. (Dick usually just ate cotton candy as a kid, he hadn’t discover cereal yet. But since his parents died he hasn’t had real sugar, Alfred has strict hold on anything sweet in the house and Robin was deemed too energetic already.)

Apparently Wally agreed bc his mouth was wide open and his face was a blotchy-red color. His eyes were filled w what Iris could only discribe as adoration.

Wally swallowed then stood up again. His arms filled w sweets. “Here you can have my candy!” Wally all but shouted at the other boy, he paused for a second looking at his arms, “or we could share,” he suggested instead.

That’s what got Iris, even before his flash experiment Wally has never shared food, not even w his uncle. But here he was offering up some to a boy he hardly knows bc he thinks it’s cute when he eats candy. God she might cry.

Robin smiled at Wally. A real smile, the first one she’s seen all night. “You could still have it all if you wanted!” Wally said again his face turning a couple shades darker and thrusting the candy at robin, who artfully avoided his touch.

“We can share, don’t speedsters need extra calories?” Wally nodded and then proceeded to gather up the rest of the candy scattered on the floor. It was then that Iris noticed that Roy and dipped.

She was slightly panicked. Roy could probably fight for himself but he’s still a baby, a baby that Iris was in charge of. She hurriedly pulled out some blankets and turned on the tv for the boys while she dialed Barry who called Ollie. In a strange turn of events Ollie actually apologized to Iris, saying quote, “Roy’s a little jack-ass of course he snuck off. Don’t worry I’ll find him, probably screwed off to get drunk at some highschool party. Thanks for watching him while you could, I honestly expected him to scurry off a lot sooner.”

It didn’t exactly ease the tension in Iris’ chest but watching those two babies sitting on the couch pass candy back forth watching Charlie Brown specials made her feel a lot better. They were on opposite sides of the couch and Iris could see Wally’s little fingers twitching by his legs, he got up to go to the bathroom and came back only to really casually sit right next to Robin, like basically on his lap.

Robin wiggled up onto the arm of the couch.

“Ok so this ones a Milky Way,” Wally said passing the treat up to Robin.

He popped it in his mouth and chewed. “What’s the difference between this one and the snickers?” He asked, Iris was a little surprised by how good Robins accent was, he spoke like a natural English speaker, which he wasn’t. Every once in a while he’d use a word wrong or mispronounce something, a lit of something would catch on what he was saying but his American accent was pretty flawless.

“Snickers have peanuts, milky ways don’t,” Wally supplied in a duh voice. Robin smiled, “golly, you sure know a bunch about candies. You must be really smart!” And isn’t that so cute! Everyone treats the speedsters like idiots just bc they’re dense but here Robin is picking up on the hidden intelligence like a Batman should. Wally puffed his chest out all proud his face was still all red like a patchy strawberry.

A couple hours passed when Batman showed up. Wearing a different not soaked in fear gas costume, both Iris and Wally were sad to see robin go, well Wally was more devastated. The minute Batman stepped through the front door Robin was disappearing underneath his cape, according to Barry Robin doesn’t like to be more than 3cm from Batman at all times.

“Maybe we can hang out more!” Wally called his blush finally fading. A chipper ok sounded from somewhere in Batman’s cape, (Wally’s face turned scarlet in an instant) at the same time Batman gruffed out a no. Wally’s perfect baby face fell, Batman and Robin left. “Hey don’t worry kiddo I’ll talk to him!” Wally gave a half-hearted smile then went back to his candy eating.

Later he was engrossed in a discussion of patrol w his uncle while they both ate most of central’s candy supply.

As Barry and Iris got ready for bed an hour or so later she turned to him w a mischievous smile. “So it’s seems like Wally’s got his first real crush!” She sing-songed. Barry looked at her confused a toothbrush sticking out of his mouth. “Who?” “Robin” she responded. “That’s doesn’t make any sense!” She signed, somethings speedsters really were dense.

[btschooseafic]

Hey you, what’s your dream?

Pairing: platonic!oc x ot7

Details: manager!oc, predebut/idolverse, partial BTS World!verse

Summary: Jungkook feels the pressure of being the main vocal in their debut song.

Warnings: This is a fictional story based on real events. The characters presented here are not the same as their real life counterparts. (TW: non-explicit talk of anxiety/ mental health treatment) [Masterlist]

Track 12: Golden Maknae

Talk To Me- Cavetown

“You don't have to be a prodigy to be unique

You don't have to know what to say or what to think”

“You want me to be the main vocal?” Jungkook stared wide eyed at Aviva. “But this is so sudden… I’m not ready…”

“That’s okay. It’s your debut song, so if you felt totally ready, I’d say you were being overconfident,” Aviva said, reaching over and hugging him.

“Our maknae!” Jimin clapped his hands and then jumped over, wrapping his arms around both of them as far as they would go. “Don’t worry about it too much! I’ll make sure to be a good lead!”

“But—but still…” Jungkook squirmed out of their arms. “Why am I the main vocal? There are other singers.”

“I asked everyone their opinion, and it was a nearly unanimous decision,” Aviva told him. Yoongi frowned.

“Nearly? Who didn’t vote for the maknae?”

Jungkook sighed. “I didn’t.”

“Oh.” Yoongi nodded. “I see.”

“I think it was the right choice,” Jin put in. “Jungkook-ah, your voice is the most stable, anyway.”

“Nice face, great body, and sings well too! Wow!” Taehyung shot him a thumb’s up. “You’re not our Golden Maknae for nothing!”

Jungkook swallowed, rubbing his throat.

“Oh, if your throat feels sore, I’ve got you covered,” Aviva said, pointing to a bag she placed on the couch.

“What’s in here?” Jin wondered, poking around. “Ah… I see… Certainly a lot of variety, manager-nim.” Everyone gathered around.

“I put my trust in modern medicine! I choose the ice-cold cooling spray!” Namjoon grabbed it.

“Lozenges should be plenty,” Yoongi thought, comparing two different packages.

“They’re different flavors,” Aviva told him.

“Yeah, but which one works better?” Yoongi wondered.

“And which one tastes better?” Jin wondered. Aviva frowned.

“Wait a minute, my Jungkookie senses are tingling.”

“Your what are what?” Jin asked, blinking at her.

“Spiderman reference,” Hoseok told him, doing the pose.

“Ah! Spiderman!” Jin nodded, also doing the pose.

“This happened a couple of times in LA,” Aviva said. “If I’m right—”

“Whoosh!”

“Whoosh!” Jin and Hoseok were pretending to spray each other with web.

Aviva shushed them. “Listen for a minute.” The sounds of music and Jungkook’s verse came floating towards them.

“Ah…” Jimin grimaced. “He’s practicing already.”

“This happened in LA?” Namjoon asked Aviva, his brow furrowing. “You didn’t mention it before.” Aviva shrugged.

“It was only a couple of times, when he got really stressed out about having trouble with a routine, he would sneak off and practice it himself until he got it down.”

“Ah, yeah, I’ve seen that.” Hoseok shook his head. “I’ve tried telling him not to stress so much, but…” Aviva frowned.

“Think about a time when you were really angry, or really sad, would telling you to ‘calm down’ or ‘cheer up’ help at all?”

Hoseok blinked. “I guess not.”

“I’d probably just get angrier out of spite,” Jimin thought.

“Yeah…” Aviva breathed out. “I know this isn’t talked about a lot around here, but it’s normal for you guys to face a lot of stressful, and emotional situations in this industry. It would be good to have some copping mechanisms prepared.”

Namjoon nodded slowly. “Have you talked to Jungkookie about that?”

“Yeah. I think that was the closest he’s ever come to yelling at me,” Aviva thought.

Namjoon blinked.

“Jungkookie, yell, at you? Wow, yeah, he must’ve been very stressed out.”

“He respects you a lot, Avi-noona,” Taehyung thought. “But maybe that just makes it harder for him sometimes, cause he wants to look good in front of you.”

“Hmmm…” Aviva ran her hand through her hair. “I wish I knew what to do.” She turned to Jin. “He’s been eating, right?”

“Seokjin’s Chicken House is open 24/7. We also provide delivery…” He winked at her. Aviva laughed.

“I might take you up on that sometime, when I don’t feel like cooking.”

Namjoon rested his hands on his hips. “Back to Jungkook-ah... I guess all we can do is be there for him. He says he’s not, but he’s capable of doing well, and then some.”

On the morning of the first day of recording, Jin invited Aviva over for breakfast.

“Wow, Jin-oppa…” She looked over the large spread. “This looks great!”

“Wait!” Namjoon said, as everyone moved to dig in. “Our Golden Maknae first!”

“What? Me?” Jungkook stared at him. Aviva frowned.

“Yeah.” Yoongi nodded. “Being main vocal is hard, so you need to eat more. I agree.”

“Did you sleep okay?” Aviva asked him as he picked up his chopsticks. His hands were shaking slightly. She pushed his hair back from his face. He was pale.

“I’m fine, noona,” Jungkook muttered.

“Soy-braised beef.” Hoseok held the platter out to him. “Let me fill your plate!” Everyone started piling things onto Jungkook’s plate.

“Thanks…everyone, but I sing better on an empty stomach,” Jungkook said, his pale face looking slightly green now. “I’m gonna go nap in the car…”

“At least have some water,” Aviva said, moving to pour some for him.

“I said I’m fine!” Jungkook snapped. “You don’t have to always baby me!” Everyone stared at him. He froze for a moment, and then ran out the door. Namjoon reached over and squeezed Aviva’s shoulder.

“You okay?”

She just grimaced.

“Huh? Jungkookie doesn’t want the meat?” Jimin stared at it hungrily.

“I guess he just wanted time al—Hey, Jimin-ah, you couldn’t even be a little patient?” Namjoon said, slapping his chopsticks down. Meat splattered over the table.

“Kim Namjoon-ssi!” Jin said, standing up. “Don’t waste food!”

“Ah, sorry, hyung! I’m clean it up.” Namjoon reached for a napkin and knocked over someone’s water, spilling it over Jin’s plate. Jin started cursing as Namjoon kept apologizing.

“Save the meat!” Taehyung said, grabbing the plate and munching on it steadily.

“Tae!” Jimin shouted. “Leave some for me!”

“If Jungkookie can pass on something this delicious, he must be ready!” Tae thought. “It means he’s completely focused on the song, and nothing else.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” Aviva said quietly. She felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned. “Yoongi-oppa?” She hoped he had something encouraging to say.

“You distract Tae while I grab the meat,” he told her.

Aviva left the boys to fight over the meat, checking the car to find Jungkook stretched out in the back.

“Time to go yet?” He said, his eyes still closed.

“Not yet,” she said. “They might be a while.” He let out a breath.

“Noona?”

“Hmm?”

“Sorry for shouting at you.”

“It’s fine,” she said. Jungkook made an uncertain noise.

While recording his section, Jungkook became fidgety, and his voice cracked. He coughed, and spluttered, looking pleadingly through the glass at Namjoon.

“Hyung,” he said, raspy. “I’m losing my voice…”

Aviva took Jungkook to a doctor, worried about his throat, while Jin drove the rest of the boys back to the dorm.

“Jeon Jungkook-ssi, I’m very concerned,” the doctor said.

Aviva’s jaw worked. She let out a breath.

“What are you concerned about, doctor?”

“Well, let’s just get this out of the way… I don’t see any physical issues with the vocal chords at all. His throat is exceptionally healthy. “

“Then…?” Aviva wondered.

“The patient is a 16-year-old boy, right? What’s going on that he’s so stressed out? Looking at these test results, I’d expect him to be a soldier in an active combat zone.” The doctor handed over a pile of papers. Aviva skimmed them, but there were a lot of words she didn’t understand.

She and Jungkook took the train and a bus back together. With Jungkook’s permission, Aviva took out a dictionary and began translating a bunch of the medical terms. “Cortisol, adrenaline… ah, I see why she was so worried.”

“Explain it to me,” Jungkook said. “Please.”

“Cortisol and adrenaline are hormones that the body releases during stressful situations. They can help you preform at a higher level than usual, but too much exposure can have a negative impact on your mind and body,” Aviva told him. Jungkook frowned, looking from the dictionary to her.

“It doesn’t say all that in here. Did you just happen to know it? Are you secretly a genius like Namjoon hyung?”

She shrugged. “I didn’t do particularly well in Chemistry. I mean, I never got to learn it properly, so I just studied it on my own for the test I took… it’s, um, like the equivalent of a high school diploma in the U.S, so if it makes me a little less under qualified there, you know? But, um, I know about these hormones in particular, cause I’ve had them on my blood tests before too, in high levels.”

Jungkook squeezed his hands into fists in his lap. “Jen-ah said… she said both of you have suffered from a lot of anxiety, just like me.”

“Yeah.” Aviva nodded. “We have.”

“She also said you read a lot of books on how to deal with that kind of stuff, and taught yourself coping techniques. I know you offered to teach me before, but… do you think you could try again? I mean, if you still want to.”

“Jungkook-ah, at the time, I probably should’ve seen a doctor, instead of taking it on myself,” Aviva admitted. “I’m not a professional.”

“I can’t,” Jungkook muttered. “If I’m going to be an idol, and that gets out… Anyway, I’m still a minor. My parents would have to pay for it, and I don’t want to worry them.” Aviva sighed. “Will you help me?”

“I’ll do my best, Jungkook-ah.” Over the rest of the bus ride, Aviva taught Jungkook a few breathing and grounding techniques.

Back at the dorm, Taehyung and Jimin immediately grabbed Jungkook, dragging him into one of the rooms. “Don’t worry, we’ll take care of you!” Tae said.

“Aviva-yah,” Namjoon said. “How is he?”

“Well, Jungkook-ah said it was okay for me to share this with you, but don’t go spreading it around, okay?” After they nodded, she told them about his test results.

“Fuck,” Yoongi said.

“We fucked up,” Hoseok agreed. “I guess the things we thought were supportive were just putting even more pressure on him.”

“We have to remember, he’s only sixteen,” Aviva said.

Namjoon rubbed his neck. “This is my fault. He’s talented and he works hard, so I kept pushing him…”

“We all played a hand,” Yoongi said. “We’re a team.”

Namjoon smiled tensely at him. “Yeah, hyung, but I’m supposed to be the leader. So I should take responsibility.”

“Should we go rescue him from Jimin-ah and Taehyungie?” Aviva wondered. “Ah, but maybe he’ll think I’m babying him again…”

Jin patted her on the back. “We’re all worried. We just want to help.”

“Yeah, but…” Yoongi shook his head, looking at Aviva. “You told us there was no physical injury, and I still saw Jimin-ah grab the first aid kit.”

“At least they’re sure to shower him with lots of attention!” Hoseok said cheerfully. Then he wilted. “Wait, maybe that would just stress him out more…”

“He needs to build some confidence,” Yoongi thought. “But how?”

“If we could just get him singing, but not thinking so much about it,” Jin thought. “Ah, wait!” He snapped his fingers. “I’m a genius! I have the perfect idea.” He tilted his head. “Well, maybe.” He shrugged. “Eh, it’s worth a try.”

Namjoon stared at him. “…You’re gonna give me whiplash, hyung.”

“Avi-yah.” Jin put his hands on her shoulders. “I will draw Jimin-ah and Taehyung-ah out, so you go talk to Jungkookie and work your manager-magic until I give you the signal.” He started pushing her down the hall.

“Manager-magic?” Namjoon wondered.

“What’s the signal?” Aviva wanted to know.

“You’ll know it when you see it!” Jin said excitedly.

Aviva waited until Jimin and Taehyung ran out of the room, shooting her thumbs up and grins, before running off again towards the kitchen. Aviva knocked on the door uncertainly. “Jungkook-ah? Are you sleeping? Can I come in?”

“Ah, noona… okay. It’s a little embarrassing, but I think I could use a hand with these.”

“What’s embarrass—” Aviva dissolved into giggles when she saw the bandages wrapped around his head and his arm.

“Ah, I’m not sure if they were actually trying to help, or just mess with me, but…” He struggled with one of the bandages. Aviva sat next to him on the bed.

“May I…?” She reached towards him. He nodded. He watched her as she worked out the knot, her lip pinched between her front teeth as she concentrated.

“Noona, can I ask you… those things you were nervous about in the past, the things that gave you test results like mine, and made you want to learn those techniques… were you able to get passed it?”

“Hmm, well, there were a couple of different situations,” she said, unwrapping the bandage from his head and moving to the one on his arm. “One situation that used to give me a lot of anxiety was the idea of moving to South Korea. In general, I think I handled that pretty well.” Jungkook nodded.

“You’re one of the strongest people I know,” he said. She smiled.

“Thank you. I know you mean it when you say it, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way myself. Some days I struggle to do even the bare minimum.” She finished taking the bandage off of his arm and twisted it into a ball. “Another situation I was anxious about was that High School test I mentioned earlier. I passed, but… I didn’t do very well. Chances are, if I ever want to take any classes in the U.S. again, I would need to retake that test first. Some days, you don’t win.”

Jungkook flopped down onto his back, staring at the ceiling.

“So you’re saying either I give up, or I just keep trying until I get it right?”

She lay down next to him. “I didn’t say that. I mean, you could do that, but it sounds very tiring, Jungkookie.”

He turned on his side, looking at her. “It is. Is there a third option?”

“I don’t know. But there’s usually an alternative route, you just have to find it. If it’s a goal you want to reach badly enough, you should keep trying until you get it, but maybe try a few different ways?” She sighed. “I don’t know, JK, I’m still figuring this out.” He smiled.

“That’s one thing I like about you, noona, you’re not afraid to admit when you don’t have the answers. Right now, I don’t know what to do. I really want to be the main vocalist, I really want to do well, but… I don’t know how. How do I find the alternative route?” Suddenly there was a knock on the window. They both jumped, Jungkook moving slightly in front of Aviva. “Burglars?”

“Um, I don’t think so. I think it might be…” She walked over to the window and pulled open the curtain, rolling her eyes when she saw Jin striking a pose on the other side. Jungkook snickered.

“What’s he doing?”

“I’ve got no clue. Let’s find out.” Aviva pulled open the window. “Oppa, I am very interested to see where you’re going with this.”

“Prepare to be amazed, manager-nim, and Jeon Jungkook-ah!” Jin said, striking another pose.

Aviva sniffed. “Something smells good.”

“Why, thank you, Namjoon-ah’s minding it for me, though, so we’d better hurry before he lets it burn. Come join us in the backyard, okay?” Jin rushed off.

Jungkook and Aviva exchanged a bemused look before rushing for the door.

The boys had used a plank of wood and some crates to fashion together a low table, placing a grill on top of it, where they were cheerfully cooking meat and vegetable skewers. Someone had strung Christmas lights up overhead, giving the backyard a cozy and warm atmosphere.

“You have to add onions!” Hoseok was saying. “Onions are the best when grilled.”

“It’s a miracle cure!” Taehyung singsonged. “When you’re feeling down, you go go full speed ahead to where the meat is!”

“The guest of honor is late!” Namjoon said, grinning at Jungkook.

“Come on, come on!” Jimin said, running over to them, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him over to sit. Aviva hovered awkwardly in the background for a moment before Jin caught her eye and waved her over. She sat in an empty spot between him and Yoongi.

“What do you think?” Jin asked, turning to Jungkook and motioning at everything.

“…Looks good,” Jungkook admitted, a small smile slipping onto his face. The other boys cheered. Hoseok started pouring everyone a cup of beer while Jin started making up a plate for Aviva.

“So eat and cheer up!” Taehyung said, nudging Jungkook’s arm with his.

“Yeah, eat and hang in there so we can practice even harder!” Hoseok said. Aviva frowned at him.

“Hobi…” She said warningly.

“I’m fine,” Jungkook told her, actually looking like he meant it for once.

“Let’s eat until we die!” Yoongi said, grabbing another piece of meat.

“Eat until we die?” Jin repeated. “Don’t you mean eat until we debut?”

Yoongi snorted. “Wait, before we eat,” Taehyung said, ignoring Yoongi’s pointed chewing. “Shouldn’t we say something?”

“Oh yeah, a toast,” Hoseok agreed. “We can’t skip that.”

“I always do it… so today should be the maknae’s turn,” Namjoon suggested. Everyone cheered again. Jungkook waved his hand dismissively.

“You should say something, since it’s your party,” Jimin agreed.

“If you don’t have anything prepared, you can say Seokjin-hyung thanks for the delicious meat!” Jin offered.

“Or something like Taehyung-hyung, I love you!” Tae suggested. Jin laughed.

“Ah…” Jungkook stared down at his drink. “I’m sorry, for being the worst one in the studio—” Everyone interrupted him with noises of protest.

“What do you mean? Don’t say that!” Jimin whined.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Jin agreed.

Namjoon insisted Jungkook had done so well that his ears had melted and fused together. Hoseok played along, asking him if he needed to go to the hospital.

“Or maybe Aviva-yah can kiss it better?” He cooed. Even in the dark they could see Namjoon’s face flush.

“You kiss it better yourself,” Aviva said, tired of his antics. Hoseok looked at Namjoon thoughtfully as everyone laughed.

“Jungkookie, you’re the main vocal. If you keep saying you didn’t do well, what does that make us?” Taehyung wondered.

Jungkook looked thoughtful.

“If Jungkook-ah can’t think of anything to say, maybe he should just serenade us, melt our ears,” Namjoon put in.

Jungkook started to sing, with the others gradually joining in. By the second chorus, even Aviva had joined, so quietly that only Yoongi and Jin heard and glanced at her, grinning.

“You’ve got a nice voice,” Yoongi said in her ear, making her shiver slightly. “Are you sure you’re not the one who should be debuting?”

“Shut up!” She whispered, elbowing him. He winced.

“Watch the shoulder,” he muttered.

“Sorry!”

Aviva stayed over early into the morning, helping clean the yard so the landlady wouldn’t yell at them.

“Well, these two are useless,” Namjoon thought, his voice muffled as Taehyung squished his cheeks, serenading him. Jimin was hanging off of Joon’s back like a monkey.

“Send them to bed,” Aviva told him.

“Yeah.” Namjoon gave Jimin a piggy-back ride. Taehyung trailed after them, still singing.

“Ah, I think Hobi-hyung is done for as well,” Jungkook (only slightly drunk himself), spoke up.

“I can tuck him in,” Aviva offered.

“Yay!” Hoseok hugged her tightly, pressing her face against his chest, tucking his chin over the top of her head.

“Ugh, Hobi, can’t breath!” Aviva squeaked.

“Avi’s comin’ to bed with me!” Hoseok gloated to Yoongi, sticking his tongue out. “Take that, hyung!” Yoongi glared at him.

“Jungkook-ah,” he said firmly.

“Got it.” Jungkook grabbed Hoseok’s arm and peeled him off of her with surprising strength. “Come on, hyung, don’t do anything you’ll regret in the morning.”

“No regrets!” Hoseok cried, slinging his arm around the younger boy’s shoulders.

“You okay?” Yoongi asked Aviva, a little concern leaking through his usual blank expression. Aviva smiled.

“It’s fine, Hobi’s always clingy, even when he’s not drunk.”

“Yeah, I guess…” Yoongi was still frowning.

“Chingu!” Jin called. “Where are those garbage bags?”

“Eh, you used all of them already?” Yoongi groaned. “Seriously?” He took a full bag and dragged it over to the door. “I’ll get more.” He leaned close to Aviva. “Keep an eye on hyung, he’s drunker than he looks.”

“Okay,” Aviva said. “Yoongi…”

“Hmm?”

“Are you okay carrying all that? Your shoulder—”

“It’s fine,” he said tensely, sighing when she stared at him. “No, for real. Physical therapy helped a lot.”

“That’s great.” Aviva gave him a quick hug before going back to Jin.

“So…” Jin hummed as he cleaned, his neck flushed from the alcohol. “You and Yoongi-yah…?”

“What about Yoongi-oppa?” Aviva asked innocently.

“Well, isn’t that the stereotypical plot, the group members all fighting over the same girl?” Jin thought. Aviva frowned.

“You watch too many dramas.”

“Maybe.” Jin shrugged. “I’m just saying I wouldn’t want that to happen, especially before we’ve even debuted.”

“Jin-oppa, they just like to joke around, they’re not seriously interested in me.”

“Aish, Aviva-yah, you aren’t that oblivious, are you?” Jin looked her in the eye, suddenly looking a lot less drunk than he had a moment ago. She ignored the heat rising in her face, holding the eye contact without flinching.

“It wouldn’t happen. I’m a good friend to have, but as far as… I wouldn’t be a good girlfriend.” She’d only had a sip of beer with the cheers earlier, she wondered if it was possible to drunk off of one sip? Or was she overtired? Because these were things she had never spoken about, not even with Soonyoung or Jen. These were things she didn’t even like to think about in the privacy of her own mind. “There are things I don’t… I won’t…” She let out a breath, letting her words fade away.

“… I’m sorry, Viva-yah, I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” Jin said, his expression softening. “I think I might’ve been too harsh.”

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 12 - After the  increase in drinking at home, Tamabukuro Sujitaro's local Chinese restaurant tv program is hugely popular.

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru, starting this episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san, welcome again...Well, how's it going recently? In these trying times?

J: Recently, I've been wearing a mask.

T: Right, your mask.

K: Um, just so i don't cause trouble around me today, Im gonna wear a mask, I thought i should.

T: The distance between us too...We're social distancing.

K: Yeah, kinda.

J: There's more space than usual.

K: So, how's it been?

J: Well, I've been doing radio, but in terms of interviews..its really dried up.

T: Ahh, me too.

J: Well, basically, artists, they're in a situation where live shows aren't happening, so there is no so-called promotion going on.

K: Thats right.

J: So, rather than meeting directly to talk, they are doing interviews by email, or such. I've been spending longer at home, so I've been watching movies, and stuff.

T, K: Yeah.

J: Watching erotic movies and stuff.

K, T: *laugh*

K: Thats just normal for you though, right?

T: Its the same.

J: Well, I havn't changed in that respect.

T: Well, Joe, you've been watching movies. But my kids are also having time off..

J: Oh right.

T: Im with them all day, so i have no time to watch movies.

J: You don't watch them at all?

K: *To J* 'You don't watch them?'??

T: I can't, I don't have time. I take the kids to the park in the morning, I make them run about 5 laps, at least try to wear them out a bit *K, J laugh*

J: You make your kids run?

T: Yeah, if I wear them out, Im thinking how much earlier I can get them to bed. Then I'll have one or two hours to myself.

J: Oh right.

T: And then I'll have an evening drink or something, I do get a break doing this show though, but today I brought some news about how this kind of situation is happening in the world right now.

K: Okay, go ahead.

T: Its really typical Tokyo Sports news, but with this increase in drinking at home, a certain food tv show is very popular...a tv show specializing in local Chinese restaurants. The TV show 'Machi chuuka de yarouze' on BS - TBS has become popular.

J: Local Chinese restaurants?

T: Do you know it?

J: No no, I don't have a tv at home, so I have no idea. But I personally love local Chinese restaurants. Generally, if I go to different areas, if there is a butcher, I'll buy a pork cutlet and eat it straight away, if there is a local Chinese restaurant I'll have fried rice there...its how I test out new areas. 

T: What about you Kaoru, do you like local Chinese restaurants?

K: I love them. I also watch that show a lot. *the others laugh*

J: What type of show is it?

K: Well..they just go to these restaurants, drink beer, pick something to eat, and ???*1

J: Just that?

T: They eat stuff like fried rice, gyoza/dumplings, ??*2, and drink beer.

J: I see.

T: And its like people at home can watch it and drink beer too, its popular.

J: I see. By the way, Kaoru, when you go to local Chinese restaurants, what do you order? Your must have order?

K: Hmm, Liver and chives or..

J: Ohh yes.

T: Yeah, I like that.

J: Thats a good one.

T: How about gyouza?

K: Yeah, gyouza too.

T: And fried rice.

J: Fried rice is my...its my best way to really test out the skill of the restaurant, whether they are cooking properly...its fried rice.

K: But I always eat too much.

J: Yeah, yeah. Its best if you share it with a group*3, but if you are by yourself, and having beer, the calories stack up.

K: They do.

T: After we introduced this topic, Tokyo Sports' Twitter was abuzz with comments from all over the country saying, 'I love this too!'. It really seems like everyone loves these kinds of restaurants.

J: Ahh, really? But recently, it seems like they are starting to disappear a bit. There's this so-called 'successor problem', and especially in the city, and with the run up to the Olympics too, a lot of these places which make me say, 'Ahh, I like this', are disappearing. Its like, 'Oh, that place has gone?! I liked thier daily specials!'. To me, Japan's local chinese restaurants are..???*4

T: But also a lot of places can't open because of Corona.

K: Some are starting to do take-out outside,  right?

J: Yeh, they are.

T: Even with that, its tough for them though. I wish people would go to them *5

J: Yeahh. Don't they have those old style tables with the thin legs? With that, and a beer, and the tv..its a nice image.

T: Its like its unchanged from a long time ago.

J: It is.

K: I also like chinese noodes/soba.

J: Ah, yeah.

T: Those are good.

K: I feel like drinking beer now.

J: Should we do a Freedom of Expression special while having a drink sometime?

K: We should.

T: That would be good.

J: Lets do it sometime.

K: It should be fine. Drinking on air is not banned, right?

J: No, its fine.

T: What do you drink Kaoru? Gari..

K: Gari chuhai (Chuhai with pickled ginger)

J: Gari chuhai?

T: I wanna drink that.

K: Should we do it?

J: Lets do it! Yeah, lets. Everyone's doing online drinking parties now, right?

T: That sounds good.

K: Oh, they are, yeah.

T: There are like zoom drinking parties, using that app.

K: Wouldn't that be interesting?

T: I wonder.

K: There are a lot of people saying its fun, right? Cause they can't really talk properly otherwise.

J: Ahh, probably. There are a lot of days when I don't talk at all, except for if the supermarket staff asks me if I want a bag, and I say , 'No thank you'. Then I think, 'Ah, the only thing I said today was "No thank you"!'. There are days like that aren't there?

K: There are.

J: There are, aren't there?! Kaoru, you must have days when you are working, where you don't speak at all?

K: Yeah, I don't talk at all. I communicate with the members but its all by text..like on Skype's  chatroom or something. I don't use my voice at all.

J: Really?

K: The only voice is from the track im listening to.

J: Don't you ever have the desire to talk?

K: Hmm, you can be more matter-of-fact with text rather than speaking.

J: Well, yes.

K: When you speak..for example, it can sound as if you're speaking with emotion, can't it?

J: Yeah, you attach an intonation to it.

K: Like, 'Hmm, its a bit...' or, 'Yeah, its good...'...Somehow communicating on Line is more...like 'He should talk first', or..

J: I see.

K: If you hear thier voice, you think, 'Oh, he likes it', or 'He hates it'...you attach extra meanings..

J, T: I see.

K: So to avoid that, reading text is better.

J: So generally, the members always communicate by text?

K: Yes. Always like this, using chat.

T: When do you speak then?

K: We don't speak. *the others laugh*

J: You're a band who never speaks.

K: We don't. In our dressing rooms and such, we really don't talk. *others laughing* Really.

J: So when you are on tour, you don't talk about stuff with the members?

K: Really, with our drummer, these past twenty or so years, the amount I've talked with him woudn't fill a day. *others laugh*

J: If you compressed it all together, right? Only about 24 hours?

K: Yeah, yeah.

J: Thats amazing.

T: The Dir en grey members should all go out to a chinese restaurant together.

K: That sounds good.

T: What kind of scene would that be?!

J: I wanna see that!

T: Me too!

J: We need a members' chinese restaurant drinking party someday.

T: That would be great.

J: Tokyo Sports could cover it.

T: Really?

J: An exclusive.

T: Yeah, an exclusive.

J: Wouldn't it be?

K: Well, we've no idea what will happen.

J: True.

K: But there's a possibility.

T: For sure.

J: Well, its an option.

Kami: Um..

J: Oh, its Kami!

Kami: Theres a great little chinese restaurant in Roppongi.

J: Eh? Do you know Roppongi well, Kami?

Kami: Yeah, I do.

J: Whats the place, can you say the name?

Kami: The name...what was it again, I forgot.

J: You forgot?

K: *laughs*

J: He comes in with this, and forgets?

Kami: Um, what makes it great is that its really quick.

J, K: Ahh.

K: Chinese food is good if it comes quickly.

T: Yeah, for sure.

Kami: Its really quick.

T: How quick?

Kami: I timed it.

T: You timed it?!

Kami: The food came out in two mins.

J: What did you order?

Kami: Liver and chives came out in two mins.

J, T: Two mins!

K: Thats quick!

J: It might have been something they had already made in advance?

Kami: No, it was hot, it was really delicious.

J: How much was it?

Kami: The price was cheap too.

T: By the way, what do you like to drink with chinese food?

Kami: Alcohol? Beer.

J: Of course, with chinese food, its beer, right?

Kami: I like gyouza with beer.

T: Gyoyza with beer.

K: Ahh

J: The most basic of basics.

T: So, in this tv show, there's this guy called Tamabukuro. He has a saying that the size of a  large beer, 633mls, should be compulsory education for adults.

J: I see. Well, everyone, please..chinese food..

K: If there's anyone who wants us to go to thier restaurant...

J: Oh, yes! Lets make an appeal!

T: Lets do it! It will be fun.

J: Well, if there's anyone interested, please contact us here *points to bottom of screen*

To any restaurant owners out there.

K: Yes, please....Well, for now..

J: Oh, we're finishing?

K: Shall we finish here?

J: Yeah, cause we're wearing masks, keeping my glasses free of fog is..

K: They are fogging up a bit.

J: They do. Why don't you guys' glasses fog up? Do you use anti-fog?

K: You have to put your mask up, and your glasses on top of it.

J: Oh, is that it? *adjusts glasses*  Like this? Don't I look stupid like this?

K: Well...

J: Is this ok? If I put the mask up..

K: Yeah, thats too far up. *laughs*

J: We don't wear a mask a home though, right?

K, T: No, we don't.

J: Im not that used to it.

K: Oh, indoors?

J: Yeah, indoors. I've learnt how to do my mask now...from next time.

K: Ok, please watch again next time, and please subscribe.

J, T: Please.

K: Thank you very much.

*1,2,4 Couldn't catch these bits.

*3,5 I think thats what is being meant.

[petri808]

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 22 | 23 | 24

thank you so much for your patience with this late chapter! I had some frustrating family drama pop up so I wasn't able to finish it until today. Enjoy!

“Lucy, Lucy, Lucy!” Levy plops onto the couch next to her friend. She grabs the blondes arm and shakes it. “Omg you won’t believe what happened today at school!”

“What? What? The teacher you hate croaked?”

“Pfft, I wish. No! I met Natsu’s roommate! Well, technically I’ve known the guy for like a year from school, we were lab partners, remember Gray, I think I mentioned him, anyways, yeah, he totally gave me all the details I wanted to know!”

But at the name Natsu, Lucy frowns and sits back. “Lev, you know I just wanna move on from this...”

“Just hear me out, I promise it’ll be worth it.” She leans in, “trust me.”

Lucy rolls her eyes. “Okay, fine. Spill. What did Gray have to say?”

“So... starting with that Touka chick. Everything Natsu said was true. You’re not the first girl she’s harassed over him, in fact he offered to contact the other girl if you’d like to ask the person yourself.”

“That’s not necessary, I believe it.”

“He also confirmed that the profiles you saw on Ig are fake and how she’s been stalking him for a couple years now.”

“So Gray’s just his roommate?”

“No, he said they’ve been friends since middle school, so he knows Natsu well.”

“Anything else?”

“The stuff he told you about his family are true. Um, he works at a place called Yousei Mart, and that he’s an idiot but a good guy that is just really naive sometimes. The more he talked, the more I remembered him mentioning his roommate before. Like venting about stuff. Anyway, he said Natsu’s been completely distressed over all this and he thinks you should give his friend a second chance. I think so too, Lu, cause I believed him that Natsu’s a great guy and this whole Touka business is just unfortunate.”

The blonde pulls her legs up onto the couch, wraps her arms around them and rests her chin on her knees, thinking about everything she’d learned. Did she really want to deal with the baggage? What if Touka continues to harass her or them? It would be unfortunate to lose a guy like Natsu, because he really did seem like one of the good guys. She pulls up the memories of him on the train when he’d cornered her... ‘he was really devastated...’ and to do what he’d done, the amount of time he spent chasing and waiting for her, he must really like her to go that far.

“Well, Lu? What do you think?”

She’d definitely be using a higher standard to judge him, so he’ll need to be very convincing to gain her trust a second time, but, “I guess it couldn’t hurt to give him another chance.”

“Then there’s just one last thing for you to do.”

“Ugh,” she groans, “call him.” Lucy picks up her phone and dials Natsu’s number, but he doesn’t pick up. So, she hangs up without leaving a message. She made the first call, now it was his turn to respond if he wanted a second chance.

Approximately thirty minutes later an out-of-breath Natsu is on the phone. “Sorry Lucy! I was in class and the teacher is a real dick about cellphones.” He’d literally run out the room the second the lecture was over to call her back.

“It’s fine, I thought that might be the case.”

“Did you wanna talk to me about something?”

“Yeah, first have you spoken to your roommate at all today?”

“Um... no, why is something wrong with him?”

“Well, in that case...” she pauses and takes a deep breath. “So, turns out your roommate and my roommate have a class together, actually have had several, so they know each other and today they talked about us.”

“Really...” guess he’ll be calling Gray after this phone call!

“Look, bottom line is I believe my friend and since she believes your roommate about you and that girl... I’ll give you another chance. But remember! It’s not because I trust you yet it’s because I trust them.”

“I’ll take it! I understand totally and I promise I’ll do anything to prove to you that you can trust me.”

“I mean, I’m not sure how, but...”

“Um...” Natsu thinks fast, “are you busy right now?”

“Now? Um, not really...”

“I gotta run or I’ll be late for work, but can you meet me at Yousei Mart near Haramachi park as soon as you can?”

“Why?”

“Please?? I’ll buy you dinner too for coming.”

‘Ugh...’ “Okay, I’ll get ready and head over.”

“Thank you!! I’m just really happy you’re giving me a chance Lucy. Okay, I’ll see you soon!”

Lucy hangs up the phone and lets her roommate know she was heading out to see Natsu. The location he’d asked her to go to was several blocks away and takes her 20 minutes to get there. So, as she walked, she did her best to keep her cool. Half of her was thrilled to try again while the other half still apprehensive. Natsu had sounded so excited too, she could almost picture the man doing a victory dance the moment they’d ended the phone call. But where was this place that he wanted her to go to? She knew it was like a convenience store, maybe that’s where he works? Must be if he’d said he needed to get to work and still wanted to see her.

“Irasshaimase!” Lucy hears as she enters the store. A bit odd for a convenience store, but welcoming, nonetheless. She’s greeted by an employee, a red headed woman.

“May I help you find anything?”

“Actually, I’m here to see Natsu. He asked me to come.”

“Oh! You must be Lucy! Please, follow me,” the woman gestures, “he’s in the back working on inventory. My name is Erza by the way and we’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Really?” Hopefully nothing bad...

“Oh, yes. The pretty blonde he met on a train. The guy can’t shut up about you,” Erza laughs. “It was just weird, well new because we’ve never seen him so excited over a girl before.”

Lucy blushes from the compliment. “How long have you worked with Natsu?”

“Hmm, four years, I think. He started when he was still in high school, but I’ve been here a little longer.” They reach the back area and find Natsu hunched over some boxes tagging items. “Here he is, Natsu, your friend Lucy is here.”

“It’s okay for me to be back here?”

“I don’t see why not,” the woman shrugs. “We’re a pretty tight-knit crew here, like a family, so it’s also pretty lax how things are run.”

“Oh. Okay, thank you Erza.”

“You’re welcome. Stay as long as you like.”

Once the woman goes back to the front, Lucy turns to Natsu who was waiting patiently. “Well, I’m here. What did you want me to see?”

“That was part of it,” he smiles. “You said you didn’t know if you could trust me, so what could be better than introducing you to people who know me best. And people like Erza, she’s got no problem telling it like she sees it. If I was an asshole, she would have been the first to tell you to run away.”

“Yeah, she mentioned you’ve been co-workers for a few years. She seems nice, but I can see what you mean cause she looks tough too.”

Natsu laughs, “that’s an understatement. Oh! Come with me,” he grabs her hand and pulls her along, “gramps is still in the office, so you should meet him!”

“Gramps?”

“He’s the owner. Real name’s Makarov but he tells us to call him Gramps. He really is like a grandfather figure to us. Gave me a job at 17 and I’ve loved every minutes being here!”

She follows along, allowing him to hold her hand. Lucy couldn’t lie that his larger hand was nice and warm, and it felt snug and secure together. ‘Stick to your guns woman!’ She chides herself in an effort to fight the emotions bubbling to the surface. What was it about this man’s damn smile that made her heart thump!

Natsu knocks on the doorframe before going in. “Gramps! There someone I want you to meet.”

The older make looks up from his paperwork. “What is it brat, I’m busy here.”

“Be nice old man, this is that girl Lucy I told you about.”

“Oh... the elusive Lucy you’ve sold your soul for.” He snickers. “Welcome, my dear, it’s nice to finally meet the woman who wrangle our Natsu.”

“W-Wrangle?” She sputters. “I’m not sure what you’re talking about. We barely had one date.”

“I’ve known this kid for a few years and he’s never so much as looked at a woman. I thought he was gay for the longest time till you came along.” He grins. “And by the looks of you, he lucked into a good one.”

The blush on Lucy’s face increases. “I don’t know about that. I mean I’m nothing special.”

“Lucy,” Makarov leans into his desk, “may I call you Lucy?” Once she nods, he continues. “Never sell yourself short if someone gives you a compliment. Take it from this old geezer, when a man is willing to give you his heart, that means you’re pretty special in their eyes.”

She had nothing else to say against such logic. “Thank you, gramps.”

“You’re very welcome,” he smiles. “Now get out, I have work to do.”

For a few more hours, Lucy hangs out with Natsu in the back while he works, and as promised, he buys her a bento dinner from the restaurant next door. Throughout the evening, his co-worker Erza and one more named Mira drops by to check on them or add to the conversation. She learned a lot about him from them because they were not shy about embarrassing the man. It was hilarious!

But best of all, Mira is the sister of the girl who was harassed by Touka. According to the woman, Touka had started off with the same tactics when she’d thought Natsu was seeing her sister Lisanna. Showing up, trying to talk to her, coming off all sweet and innocent. But Lisanna had a boyfriend who eventually scared the girl off. With Mira’s help, Lucy could finally be confident that Natsu had been telling the truth all along.

When the store closes, Natsu insists on walking Lucy home due to the late hour. He pays for them to take the train to make it a faster and safer trip. So, once settled in their seats, she sighs and turns to him. “I believe you now,” her voice is kept soft and low from the other travelers. “You were telling me the truth.”

It was like a wave of relief washes over him, but in that moment, it wasn’t time for an I told you so, so he just grins. “Movie date next?”

[telli1206]

The Only Time I Feel Alive Is When I Find Something I Would Die For (Part 1)

Mal’s plots turn personal when she cooks up a plan for her big brother, Jay, and Evie’s brother, Carlos.

Another @bunny-lou Jaylos prompt 🤷‍♀️ Her ideas are too good, and I #cantstopwontstop. Her idea that I used is listed in this post. (Please note I did take a few of my own liberties with the idea, making Mal and Evie 12 instead of 8, and Jay and Carlos are their brothers instead of cousins.)

Evie groans as Mal scribbles away in her notebook. “Mal, you know this is only an assignment, right? We’re not really taking over the island. You’re NOT going to be Queen of the Isle.”

But Mal’s eyes never leave her page. She’s writing furiously, tongue poking out between her lips as she focuses on her task.

“We’re BOTH going to be queen, Evie! Don’t forget that,” she adds, still writing. “Don’t worry, we can’t give all these details in the project, I wouldn’t want anyone busting us before we can even put it in action. But I don’t want to waste this time either! Between the two of us, we definitely have the brains to pull this off.”

Evie scoffs and rolls her eyes. If Mal could spend all their time together scheming and plotting, she probably would. Sometimes she wonders how they had time to become best friends in between her plans for world domination.

“Hey!” Evie screeches when a ball of paper suddenly hits her head, knocking her out of her thoughts. She glares at Mal, who’s still balling up papers and chuckling quietly.

“If you’re just going to roll your eyes and not help, maybe I’ll just make you my court Jester instead. How do you feel about wearing a neon jumpsuit and hat with bells?” She snarks, as she continues to hurl papers at her friend.

Evie giggles, grabbing at the balls and whipping them back at Mal. “Just try it, if you DARE, and see what happens!”

The room fills with laughter as the paper balls fly back and forth, their homework momentarily forgotten. It’s not long before a stomping echoes up the stairs. Both girls pause as the bedroom door when it swings open. Mal’s older brother stands in the doorway, smirking down at the girls stretched out on the floor.

“Doesn’t sound like much homework is getting done up here, does that mean it’s time to take Evie home?” He sneers, picking up a ball of paper and rolling it through his fingers, before flipping it over his shoulder into the trash can.

“Come on, Jay! We’re just taking a little break, ok? Can you, just, go back to your hole and leave us alone?” Mal huffs, trying to wave her brother out of her room.

Jay just shakes his head. “No way, mom says I have to go with you when you take Evie home. She doesn’t trust either of you not to get into trouble.” He smiles at Evie, who blushes at the eye contact, turning her head away from the older boy.

Mal keeps a steely glare on Jay, arms crossed angrily. But Jay remains unaffected by his sister’s attitude, staring back with a hint of a smile on his lips.

“You’ve got five minutes. Gather your stuff and be ready to go when I get back.”

With that Jay is gone, and Mal continues to grumble and mutter under her breath as she and Evie pick up, Evie shoving her books back into her backpack as she watches the door where Jay was standing.

“Your brother is so handsome,” she sighs. “How is it that he doesn’t have a girlfriend?”

“You mean, why isn’t getting his rocks off instead of bugging his little sister and her friends?” She groans, chucking the paper balls into the garbage. “Who even knows. I wish he had someplace to go so he wasn’t here annoying us. Making you go home. Evil master plans take time.”

“Do I hear you planning again, sis?” Jay quips, popping back into the room. “At this rate, you’re going to have thought wrinkles across your forehead before you’re even thirteen.” He saunters over and palms her forehead, making her screech as she shoves him off.

Evie gasps at his words. “Don’t you even think that, Jay! Queens can’t have wrinkles.” She points an accusing finger as he laughs, backing away from Mal as he smoothes down his shirt.

Mal looks him over, suddenly noticing his made up appearance. “Dude, did you change? You look...cleaner.”

Jay snorts, ushering the girls out the door. “It’s hot outside, ok? My clothes were sweaty.” He slams the door behind them as they make their way down the street.

But Mal doesn’t let up. “But we’re walking Evie to her house, weirdo! It would’ve made more sense to change after that, don’t you think?”

Jay ignores her, keeping a protective hand behind the girls as they walk. He’s right, the day is hot and humid, and a blast of musty warm air whisps a few strands of the boy’s long hair across Mal’s face, obscuring her vision.

“You brushed your hair, too!” She notes, swatting the unusually silky pieces out of her eyes. “Who in the hell are you trying to impress? You better not be trying to hit on my friends!”

Evie giggles lightly at Mal’s words, glancing at Jay out of the corner of her eye. He catches the look and winks, causing Evie to turn away quickly, a tiny smile on her face.

“As pretty as Evie is, I’m more than a little too old for her, don’t you think?” He sighs, shaking his head at Mal. They’re approaching the front entrance of Evie’s castle, and Jay steps ahead of them quickly as they push through the rusty, squeaking gates.

When he reaches the door he bangs on it firmly, looking behind as the girls catch up to him. Before Jay can say another word to them, the door swings open, and Jay is face to face with another teen boy, slighter and leaner than him, with a freckled face and a head of curly white tendrils.

“Carlos.” 

Jay’s voice is barely above a whisper as he gapes in front of him.

Carlos pauses in surprise, clearly not expecting the other teen. “H-hey, Jay.”

Evie and Mal share a look, brows perked at the awkard silence and eye contact. Evie takes a slow step in front of Jay, ending the moment as Carlos breaks away from Jay’s gaze to look at her, visibly relaxing with a smile when their eyes meet.

“Evie, you’re back! Mom was about to call you to come home.” Carlos reaches for her arm, pulling her inside.

“Bye Mal! I’ll call you later,” Evie tells her with a wave. “And thanks for walking me home Jay!”

Jay quirks a half smile as Carlos closes the door behind them. Standing there for another moment, he feels eyes boring into his back. He winces when he turns to face Mal, seeing her already obnoxious smirk.

“Well, well, I think now I know the reason for your little...mid-afternoon glow up,” she chuckles. Jay snorts, giving her back a shove to move her along.

“Ok, ok! Chill Romeo. I’m just making an observation. Tip for next time though, talking will get you a lot farther than just gawking at him,” Mal quips, unable to hold back her snickering.

“Oh ha ha,” Jay teases, bumping her shoulder. “Do you think I’m about to take dating advice from a 12-year-old? I’m sure you’ve been on SO many dates.”

“I don’t need dating experience to know that was an awkward disaster,” she jokes, waving back at Evie’s doorway. “When were you going to tell me you were hot for my best friend’s brother?”

A frustrated groan escapes Jay’s lips as he trudges along next to her. “Will you just get off my back? I never said I had the hots for Carlos! I was just...I didn’t expect to see him. I was surprised. A little. Ok?”

Mal perks an eyebrow, eyeing him quizzically. 

“So, I’m supposed to believe you were surprised to see Carlos at his house, that he lives at with Evie because he’s her family, when you’re taking Evie home to her family?” She can’t stop the almost maniacal look on her face as she watches her brother squirm under her inquiry, a scowl curling on his lips.

“Ok, ok, you’ve made your point! Can you just let up for a minute? I can handle my own shit. I don’t need you on my case.” Jay starts walking at a hurried pace as they approach their home, fast enough to startle Mal and get her to break out into a run when he flies by her. But before she can make it to the door it’s already being slammed in her face, a triumphant Jay howling on the other side.

“Too slow, short stuff!” He shouts in a muffled tone through the door. “Next time maybe you’ll learn to mind your own business!”

Mal grunts her dissatisfaction, but relents even before she reaches for the door handle, instead choosing to walk alongside the house and whip out her phone.

As she starts to dial, thoughts about her best friend creep into her mind, the clever bluenette with a sharp brain and an even sharper mouth to match. A few things about today had made her feel...off. An uneasy feeling has settled into her gut, and she doesn’t like it at all.

Fortunately, she has a plan to fix things. 

“Evie!” She almost shouts when the girl finally answers. Mal collects herself, dropping her voice lower in case anyone can hear. “Yes, I got home fine...no, nothing’s wrong...I just...listen! I just wanted to ask if your brother’s single.”

Evie confirms what Mal is hoping for, and a calculated grin spreads across face.

“Perfect. I have an idea, and I need your help.”“

[greekgeek21]

Percy Jackson & The Avengers: Convergence - percy is taken by the men (women) in black

Ok, so by what I've been hearing, there has been some confusion regarding the timeline, so here's the full explanation: figure it out for yourselves. My beta reader and I have already discussed this (MONTHS AGO IN FACT!) and we ultimately decided to not go into any specifics because it wasn't important to the story and the only thing you guys needed to know was that Percy and Annabeth were 18 now, and it's after the first Avengers movie and that Thor's not there. Got it? Ok, now to the real good stuff!

Thank you to all the people who have responded kindly to this story. Honestly, it made my day to find that I had already received 3 reviews on ff before it had even been out an hour. So, thanks so much guys.

THIS IS STILL CANON I JUST HAVEN'T HAD THE CHARACTERS MENTION MAGNUS CHASE OR THE KANES YET YOU MONGRELS!!! Ok. I think I covered everything. Stay safe and happy reading!

- your author

PS hopefully these will start to get shorter cuz I hate reading long A/Ns on other fanfics so I don't want to be THAT person.

Ω ♆ Ω

Knock Knock

"Come in, Hill," Fury said, already knowing it would be his second-in-command.

As she entered, Fury noticed a slight change in her attitude. It wasn't large, but it was noticeable to the experienced spy's eyes. It was almost- confusion? What could she have discovered that caused her to be confused?

"Sir, I found a possible suspect. He's...not what we expected," Hill told him, placing a file on his desk.

The file included a single piece of paper. A SINGLE PIECE OF PAPER!!! Who was this guy that could evade SHIELD's suspicion for so long? Surely, someone smart. Very smart.

"What do you mean, Hill?" he asked, picking up the paper.

The woman in question cleared her throat before responding, "See for yourself. He's just a kid."

Not displaying any surprise, though there was some going through his head, Fury read the information on the sheet:

Name: PERSEUS "PERCY" JACKSON

Gender: MALE

Age/DOB: 18; AUGUST 18, 1993

Status: ALIVE

Last Known Location: MANHATTAN, NY

Place of Birth: MANHATTAN, NY

Race: CAUCASIAN

Height: 6'1"

Hair: BLACK

Eyes: GREEN

Disabilities: DYSLEXIA, ADHD

Family: Sally Blofis (Formerly Jackson), Mother - ALIVE

Paul Blofis, Step Father - ALIVE

Estelle Blofis, Maternal Half Sister - ALIVE

Gabe Ugliano, Step Father - MISSING

BIOLOGICAL FATHER UNKNOWN

Education: GOODE HIGH SCHOOL - EXPELLED

YANCY ACADEMY - EXPELLED

...6 OTHER EXPULSIONS

Abilities/Weapons: CLASSIFIED

Other Info: Was involved in a nation-wide manhunt at 12 years old; Pushed class into shark tank; Blew up school bus with colonial cannon; Flooded an Aquarium; Seen traveling Greece with six other teens after missing three months of school (wasn't reported missing by parents);Suspected abilities; Was seen at Brooklyn Bridge explosion

Fury sighed. Just great. Another troublemaker to give him a headache. And what was with the Classified stamp? Nothing is classified to the director of the company who created the file, so why was this?

Deciding to put it off for further thought, and steeling himself over again, Fury gave his orders to Agent Hill, "Find him. Bring him in for questioning. Don't make a scene."

They were simple orders in themselves, but Fury knew better than to expect everything to go smoothly. Any second grader could figure out that Perseus Jackson was not one to do things smoothly. Hell, it would be a miracle if they even got the chance to talk to the kid before he did some crazy stunt that would most likely get someone hurt. That's just how Fury's luck was.

"Understood, sir. I'll let you know when we have him in custody," Hill answered before briskly striding out the office door.

Fury sighed once she was gone, running a hand over his face. With nobody watching, he could truly let the stress on the inside seep into the outside. It wasn't just this one case either, there had been a couple other bombings popping up around the US, and they weren't any closer to finding the source. All they knew about them was that they were connected and that they were seemingly random attacks. Add finding Jackson to the mix and his mind was about ready to implode.

But unfortunately, the director of SHIELD didn't have time for breaks, so he went back to work on the multitude of information residing on his desk.

Ω ♆ Ω

Percy and Annabeth were back at home, which was currently the Blofis apartment, and they were enjoying every minute of it. With his sister Estelle around, there was always something to do. Percy absolutely adored his sister. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her. Just another side effect of his fatal flaw.

He hadn't told his mother or Paul what had happened during their trip, not wanting to worry them, but he had given Annabeth the simple explanation when he got back. He made sure to stress that he had been discreet, so she had eventually given up the interrogation. That's why it was such a surprise when they were sent a visitor not a week later.

When it happened, Percy was playing with Estelle in the living room while Annabeth studied in their room. Even though she had graduated from high school early, and they weren't due to start at New Rome University for several months, she insisted on keeping up with her studies. He, on the other hand, couldn't have cared less about school. The only reason he was going to college was so he could stay near Annabeth.

Sally was cooking lunch in the kitchen, and Paul was at work. There wasn't much the man could do for the case of Percy's expulsion from Goode, but he still worked there as an English teacher. And Percy used the powers of being a savior of Olympus to get a diploma for himself from the gods anyway. Annabeth still made him study sometimes, but he figured it was the least he could do after practically giving his girlfriend a heart attack when he announced he wasn't planning on finishing mortal high school.

Just as he was about to let Estelle win their game of cars, there was a knock at the door. Since his mother was closer to it, Percy didn't feel the need to interrupt his playtime with his baby sister. A year ago, Percy would have bolted to the door to make sure it wasn't a monster, but ever since the end of the Giant War, monsters tended to steer clear of the smell of the sea. Besides Kelli, of course. She was a perpetual nuisance for Percy.

And just as he was about to make his car lose, his mother called him, "Percy! There's someone at the door for you."

He was immediately on alert. The way his mom's voice sounded made it seem like she was trying to warn him, so his mind went straight down monster lane. Gripping Riptide in his pocket, Percy made his way to the front door, trying to act casual, but his muscles were tensed for battle.

"Coming, Mom!" he answered.

What he found was certainly not what he was expecting. Sure, it wouldn't have been a surprise to find that it wasn't obviously a monster, but his eyes weren't completely masked by the Mist. He could still tell when in the presence of something related to the divine, and he most-certainly was not in that moment.

As he got to the door, he noticed that his mom had positioned her body to block the entrance to the apartment. So not a monster, but possibly a threat, he concluded.

"Who's this?" he asked his mom, taking her place in front of the doorway.

"I'm Agent Hill with the FBI, and I have a few questions to ask. Would it be alright if we stepped inside?" the woman introduced herself, flashing a badge.

Percy wished he could have checked the badge's authentication, but his dyslexia prohibited that. He did his best to keep a cool persona as he acted like he could actually read what was on the badge. Given that his mother hadn't made any protests, he passed it off as good enough.

He narrowed his eyes at the agent, assessing her threat level quickly before deciding that saying 'no' would cause more trouble than saying 'yes' and answering with a simple, "Sure."

He and his mom backed away and let the women enter before shutting the door behind them. As the woman walked inside, Percy and his mom shared a silent conversation. He told her to take Estelle to her room and stay with her after alerting Annabeth of their visitor. He was sure that his girlfriend had already figured it out, but better to be safe than sorry.

"Take a seat. Do you want anything to drink?" Percy gestured to the kitchen table and went to grab glasses out of the cupboard.

The woman took a seat before saying, "Some water would be great, thank you."

Percy mentally noted that the woman was keeping a professional front while trying to still be friendly.

After he had gotten the water and sat himself down across from Agent Hill, he said, "You said you wanted to ask some questions. I'm not sure why, though. I haven't done anything."

Hill took a sip of her water before responding, "Well, we are just going over some of our older files and wanted to fill in some blanks on yours. For instance, where were you when you disappeared? We have a record saying you were spotted in Greece."

Percy had been prepared for this question. Annabeth had ingrained it in his head after he had run into his old swim team and had fumbled over an answer. After that, Annabeth had come up with a whole explanation for what seemed like every possible question out there.

So, he quickly answered, "I was with my dad."

He had been told that it was best to answer with short sentences. That way there was less room for confusion. Honestly, he was surprising himself with the calmness he exhibited. Annabeth had suspected he would end up needing her to rescue him if the need for these explanations ever arose.

"I thought you didn't know who your dad was," Hill countered smoothly, gaze becoming almost snake-like.

"We recently connected. He lives in Greece," Percy said.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could make out some blond curls peeking out from the edge of the hallway leading to the bedrooms. His mind let out a sigh at the knowledge that his Wise Girl was here to save him from whatever inevitable mistake he made.

"Ok, then could you please inform me of his name?" Hill asked, "And then maybe we could travel somewhere more private for the rest of my questions."

She could tell that they were being spied on, then. That seemed like a little above the average skill-level of an FBI agent to Percy, but he was just basing his thoughts off of movies, so he wasn't too sure.

Whatever the case, there was no way that he was going to go anywhere with Agent Hill. Here at home, he was on his turf. Wherever he was taken would be unknown territory, and it was common sense to not go into there.

Trying to dodge the name question, he said, "I'm not going anywhere with you without a warrant. I have rights, you know."

He was just saying what sounded right. Honestly, he had slept through US History. He barely knew who the first president was, let alone his constitutional rights.

"Those are irrelevant with probable cause, and we're only going to ask some more questions. I promise that if you come calmly, there will be no record of it anywhere," Hill said, standing up and brushing off invisible dirt from her clothes.

Percy thought about it, he really did...for a whole three seconds. I mean, what would one expect from the most irrational person on the planet?

"Yeah...sorry but I'm not going anywhere with you, especially not calmly," he said, standing up and reaching into his pocket again.

Even though he knew that the Agent was a mortal, and that Riptide would be useless in a fight against her, he still had an instinct to go for his most-trusted weapon when endangered. And in the moment, he felt extremely endangered.

Hill seemed to be trying to inconspicuously reach for her gun, but he saw it. His ADHD had kicked into overdrive, and he was noticing every little movement the woman made. ADHD could come in handy sometimes.

"Mr. Jackson, I highly suggest you stand down and let me take you in. I don't want this to get messy," Hill said smoothly, holding a hand out in a placating gesture.

"Too bad everything I do gets messy," Percy said, trying to simply swipe Agent Hill's legs out from under her, but she jumped over it and threw a punch to his temple, which is swiftly dodged.

Percy may have been taught to never hit girls when he was younger, but when he became a demigod, he learned that a threat could come from anywhere, and more often than not, it came from the female gender (or something resembling a female).

His signature troublemaker smirk made its way onto his face when he realized that this fight was actually something he had to work for. He wasn't arrogant persay, but he knew what he had defeated before, and a simple mortal isn't usually a comparison to them. But he knew better than to underestimate any opponent. Annabeth taught him that one. Speaking of Annabeth, she was still hiding behind the wall, probably waiting until the prime moment to strike. Always the strategist!

Hill and Percy's fight become a fluid motion. Sometimes they got a hit in, but most of the time it was a game of defend and retaliate. Nobody had the upper hand...yet.

Percy may be better at swordsmanship, but it wasn't like he was completely ignorant to hand-to-hand combat. He knew some stuff, including how to feint and attack. Blame Luke for that one.

So, Percy used the technique. He wasn't actually expecting it to work, considering the obvious skill level of the agent he was fighting, but maybe a simple trick was just the thing he needed to knock her off her game. Even so, when he feinted a punch to her temple, just to pull back and knee her in the stomach, he didn't stop in shock. He let his adrenaline guide him into pulling the woman into a headlock that even Tyson, with all his cyclops strength, would have trouble getting out of.

Hill pulled at his arm a couple times before giving up on that strategy and trying another one: talking, "You know, Perseus, this little display makes it really hard for me to believe you're innocent. In case you haven't noticed, you're holding a federal agent in a headlock."

Percy grip barely loosened, but his determination to defy the agent's questions lessened. She was right. What makes her think that he's one of the good guys if he fought another one of them? Nothing, that's what. Because of this, he let out a large sigh, making eye contact with Annabeth (who's eyes widened in realization and shock), and released Agent Hill. He knew that she had manipulated her, but he also knew that what she had said was true.

As soon as Hill was out of his hold, she turned around while simultaneously pulling her gun out and pointing it at Percy, chest heaving for breath, "Don't move! Get on your knees and put your hands behind your head."

Percy complied, but he could see Annabeth finally slipping into the light, ready to fight off the woman arresting her boyfriend. He met her eyes and tried to convey his thoughts, but she ignored him, instead opting to go ballistic on Agent Hill.

"What do you think you're doing?! Let him go!" she yelled and grabbed Percy as Hill cuffed Percy with some seriously high-tech handcuffs and tried to pull him to his feet.

Hill kept a steel face as she shoved Percy towards the door, "He assaulted a federal agent. I have probable cause."

All of the noise had pulled Sally out of her hiding spot in her daughter's room. Once she saw what was happening, she joined Annabeth in protest. Percy just really wanted them to let it happen. Better it be him than anyone else.

"Mom, Annabeth, let me go. I'll be fine, I promise." Percy said, eyes pleading as they reached the front door.

Annabeth scoffed, eyebrows furrowing, "Like that means anything!"

"Mom, let me go. I'll be fine," After saying that to his mother, Percy turned to Annabeth, "Tell my cousins what's going on. They can help."

He prayed that she understood what he was trying to say. He wanted her to tell their demigod friend's what happened to him, and then they could help her with whatever plan she comes up with. Knowing Annabeth, she already had a plan, though, so there was no doubt in his mind that she had understood what he was insinuating.

Annabeth hesitated before giving him a curt nod. Hill took that as her signal to tug him out the door, but before he was completely gone, Annabeth grabbed his face in her hands and gave him a kiss. They were deepening it as the Agent once again pulled him away. Annabeth and his mom's worried faces followed him until he was inside the elevator, heading down to the lobby.

On the ride down, his entire body tensed up as flashbacks from the Doors of Death shot through his mind. Usually, he could push them away when Annabeth was there with him, but the stress of the previous hour was weighing on his mind, so it became difficult. Hill seemed to think that he was going to try to resist again, so she pulled out her gun again, aiming at his side. For the first time, Percy noticed that the gun looked a little odd; it was glowing blue. Then, before he could react, Hill pulled the trigger and the last thing Percy saw before he blacked out was blue liquid seeping out of his side.

Ω ♆ Ω

How was it? Let me know in the comments! As always, like, follow, and reblog pls!! Thank you to my amazing beta reader, nightskywithrainbows on Ao3! This would suck without you! Go check out their writing!

- your author

other chapters :)