#sometimes I scare myself
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My moral compass is like a fucking russian roulette wheel sometimes. I throw a dart to choose hills to die on.
#please help#im not okay#morality#morality is relative#sometimes I scare myself#and the people around me#because im normally a perfectly nice dude#but also a morbid fascination with corpses and things that look morbid#and skulls#but hey! Im wearing yellow and loosing spectacularly at cards#so I can't be that scary! (:#(:
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HEATHERS AU
misamo as the three heathers
dahyun as veronica
jeongyeon as jd
MY GOD IN HEAVEN IM A GENIUS
#sometimes i scare myself#ive got this whole conceptualizing aus down#i need to fuckin see art of this
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bro my tutor stapled a run-on sentence revision sheet to my assignment and i paid it no mind like a dumbass, but i finally read it and i’ve finally understood what they mean. i’ve always had trouble with them but this god damn single sheet of paper has explained them to me better than any teacher or lecturer. also i’ve realised so much of my writing has them no wonder anyone who has ever read my work has said i have trouble with them 😭
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... and that's on hyperfixations
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does anyone else just periodically forget to blink and then you realise that yes, you've zoned out and have been staring at a wall for 10 minutes straight and how have my eyes not combusted yet??
#doesnt even hurt too#sometimes i scare myself#genuinely just lose track of time#i guess its easier to eat your children when they dont know youre there#(rtc reference)
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right place, wrong person.
#rm#namjoon#btsnet#bts#kim namjoon#btsgif#btsedit#usermoonchild#tusercelia#kpopco#uservans#annietrack#usersun#usermaggie#bangtan network#kpopccc#kpopcc#sometimes i slay so hard i get scared of myself fr#ania.creates
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King of Pouts and Grumps, Ladies and Gentlemen! /(.^.)\ ~ <3
#ryomen sukuna#sukuna#jjk sukuna#true form sukuna#og sukuna#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk fan art#fan art#my art#heian era#king of curses#dunno how long i can art before getting slammed in the face witha art block#i feel like drawing a Obito thirst trap for some reason :p i need to be stopped ufff#sometimes i tend to scare myself#anyways Here's a Grumpy pouty hungry kitten#The emoji is upside down
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youtube
Please hold📞
#dddaily4sherin#day 245!!#goodtimeswithscar#grian#hermitcraft#hermitcraft season 10#hermitblr#desert duo#This is basically an animation experiment HSAJKDAHDH but i had fun o7#ITS DONE LETSGOOOOOOOOOOOOO#is this like. the 3rd video in ddd. sometimes i scare myself#wait no i think 4th if i count the dl one HASKLDHAKHAEEHAHE#hope you guys liked it :DD#YouTube#my art#isanimates
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You hid in the darkness and found comfort in the monsters there
#original art#doodle#creature design#monster#monster design#snake's art#Story time: Once when I was a kid I locked myself in one of our rooms as my dad started his usual crap#and I was in there for hours until the sun set and it got really dark in there and I got scared#and uh I eventually left that room and faced my consequences but point is nothing nice happpened#& that room still haunts my dreams sometimes
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Him again
#you already know the deal lmao#the context for the bara horror was some post about which one you prefer#i definitely prefer small#because I feel like a scared rabbit at the thought of big horror#i would simply freak myself out so much id be exhausted#pfdtt#I like the believe he randomly bleeds from different orifaces sometimes#undertale#sans#undertale au#horror sans#horrortale#leafs art
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(I'm a security guard.)
#There is an overwhelming number of traumatized people who work in security#So many of us have histories of abuse#Or other things#And I wonder so often#I'm good at my job#But am I attracted to power?#I like helping people#I don't like hurting people#Or picking on anyone#But it's hard to know what the right answers are sometimes#Part of my job is working with police#Even if I disagree with them#I tell myself it's better that I'm the guard here#And not someone malicious#Or cruel#But how much am I really changing?#And am I using my power correctly#Or will I become the unreasonable authority that made me the scared person I am#Is it already too late?#What if the calls I'm unsure of are the warning signs#Maybe I'm already too late#Maybe my sense of morality and justice is eroding#To fit the hole I've placed myself in#Maybe I'm not chipping at the walls fast enough#Maybe I'm being reshaped#Just being here#Maybe my conflict of conscience is the internal monologue of a sympathetic villain#Maybe I'm the bad guy#Teablart
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favorite frank is. frank with kids. this guy was meant to be a dad
#marvel#frank castle#the punisher#hes doing his best#im not even a big fan of kids myself. cant imagine having any i dont think id be any good at it#franks great though. clearly having kids is something he still really wishes he could have but cant due to. yk. the punisher thing#im tired of hornyposting he makes me sad#fuck whats that one ph comments meme. i dont even want to jerk off anymore i just want to be loved#oooh i think about it. i think about his smile the smile you can only see in old pictures he keeps#and sometimes the ghost of it when hes trying his best with kids#its beautiful how he loves them. and very sad how he hates himself#theres also something to be said about the times kids are scared of him and how he accepts it as part of what he 'needs' to do#surely thats not a part of the way he constantly tries to punish himself for 'failing' his family. surely
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Growing up with strict, neurodivergent parents while neurodivergent yourself will have you as an adult acting like you've recently escaped the feywild. What are the tricky rules? Is everything accounted for? How do I ensure I don't accidentally step over the line into Impoliteness. You know the consequences aren't death and dismemberment but you might look down one day and find you've lost your shadow and all of your friends if you're not careful
#this post motivated by getting frozen yogurt with friends#and they tried to pay for me and I said I thought I was paying for myself#because I didn't know the acceptable amount and couldn't see their cups#so instead of risking having gotten too much and stepping over the invisible boundary of what it was okay to let them pay for#I played it safe and paid for myself#which is sometimes a risky play because it's rude to refuse a gift#but I said I thought I was paying for myself#implying I didn't know it was a gift and therefore am not refusing but rather not in a position to accept#because I'm a scared little child inside who wasn't allowed to get a small but was still hungry after having a baby size#or am I a refugee of the faewilds trying to lawyer my way through all of these rules nobody else talks about lmao#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#fae#fey#feywilds#socially awkward#social rules#politeness#idk how to tag things and I've been here like five years now send help
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if you do something that triggers me a few times after I've communicated it, i'll disconnect to the point where i can't reconnect like i did before
#sometimes i wonder how others deal with it when they start to detach emotionally#when i feel weird to my stomach#like when i feel something off in a physical way#i really can't be like before#i can only try to force myself to be normal#but i don't feel anything deeply#and it scares me that i just cut others off when it comes to it#as if they have never existed in my life
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you would think after all the yapping i do about these losers i would have a plethora of art uploaded … no… so here is my first kantrio post lol
i did these over the last month while watching the olympic weightlifting and jamming to kpop (stan red velvet and kiss of life BTW!!!)
#pokemon#pkmn#trainer red#rival blue#trainer leaf#i made them classy and smoke from a joint idk maybe i should of done the classic aussie teen experience and make them smoke from a water#bottle bong 🤩 red is a massive foodie so ofc he has the multiple options of snacks ready lol my go-to fried food was a capriccosia pizza 😭#i’m always conflicted on the blue smoking hc (just cigarettes yall lol) i often see fanart of professor blue smoking and i see the vision#50/50??? let me ask the audience 🗣️ i think i’m bias cause i am cursed with thinking men who smoke are extremely attractive lmao#there is 100% lore behind that second piece but i am so burnt out and i don’t think it’ll fit in tags lol#also just have a raging fear of sharing anything kantrio related LOL like raging projectile vomiting level anxiety#blue fears repeating the toxic cycles he grew up in but oops he’s doing exactly that in the second piece 🧐#wowzers … as kieran would say lol … i love writing and thinking about blue and his emotional growth over those 3 years red was missing#but hey sometimes something hurts so badly it takes you back to that sad and scared child version of yourself right?#strength to me is like: red >>>>>>> leaf >> blue🤷🏻♀️ they technically both canonically beat blue in gamecanon so … my girl is strong sorry#ain’t standing shy timid leaf in this house …#also - despite being acespec myself i didn’t know demi was under the ace umbrella! i think it suits red super well imo :p#pan aswell bc i don’t think he gaf 😭 also shout out to one of my fave pkmn artists kiriato 🫶🏻🤧 i was going through such bad art block and#their work inspired all of these :3 i love their stuff sm espcially their comics 🥹 i drew all of these using their brush sets too!!!#trainer blue#blue pokemon#red pokemon#leaf pokemon#pokemon art#pokemon fanart#pokemon frlg#trainer green#rival green#my art <3#kanto au
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hi.
#i know most of you didn’t even realize i was gone#but man…#my mental health was like in a state of 📉📉📉 in the past 30 days like we love being mentally ill and fucking insane <3#it was mostly bc i panicked and started obsessing over possible water damage in my flat kind of out of nowhere#like it started when my landlord came to check my bathroom bc my downstairs neighbours had water stains on their ceiling back in july#which had been caused by their shower curtain apparently but i was already spiraling when my landlord told me so i was sure it was my fault#i was assuming it was bc of me bc i had sometimes been spilling some of my bathwater and i was like WHAT IF IT HAS GONE THROUGH THE FLOOR?#and it didn't help that it has been hot af and very humid in my apartment LIKE WELL OVER 25 DEGREES AND 60% HUMIDITY#anyways i couldn’t shake this not matter what i tried and my fucking insane brain made me think i was going to get arrested for like#flooding the whole building or for causing some sort of mold infestation#i had SO MANY panic attacks; i wasn't able to sleep; i wasn't able to eat; i was on edge and panicky basically 24/7 so fun fun fun :D#and i kept waking up in the middle of the night and HAD to go check my walls or the space below my kitchen#it was compulsory like i couldn't not get up and go check and tbh i would've thrown out all of my furniture if i could've to check for mold#(and shhhh i know how fucking insane this sounds but having a mentally ill brain that's anxious all the time does suck ass sometimes 🥲)#(the worst thing about it tho was that i was SO AWARE of how insane about this i was being and yet i couldn't stop losing my mind over it)#(also i was so ready to move tf outta here bc i couldn't handle being triggered 24/7 which is why my mom let me stay with her last week )#i was so out of it that i couldn't even let myself do the things i usually enjoy... like at all#like watching my shows or spending any ungodly amount of time on tumblr... or replying to messages i got from people who i love#ig this goes to show HOW bad this actually was for me mentally bc usually tumblr and my shows are like my safe place#anyways we finally had a leak detection dude come over today and we had him check the water levels in my walls#and he said everything is fine and he specifically told me i should stop worrying about any water damage BC THERE IS NO WATER DAMAGE#he also said that the weather has just been insanely humid this year so it's not surprising that the humidity levels are higher than usual#i’m still a bit scared about some possible mold but ig this is good enough for now#i am aware how ridiculous this must sound for anyone who's reading this now but couldn't let it go not even with meds so let me live pls :(#TLDR I WAS GOING THROUGH IT BUT I AM BACK I THINK AND I AM MOST LIKELY GOING TO START BOTHERING YOU WITH MY GIFS AGAIN <3#AND I JUST REALIZED I HAVEN'T EVEN SEEN ANY OF THE HEART KILLERS STUFF YET ASIDE FROM ONE OR TWO PICS LIKE :(#OH AND I NEED TO START WATCHING SUMMER NIGHT ;_;#sabrina talks#@AIRENYAH GIRL I AM SO SORRY I WILL PROBABLY REPLY TO YOUR MESSAGES LATER TODAY OR TOMORROW MORNING ;_;<3
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