#sometimes I lowkey miss being depressed

[unhinged-nymph]

.

[amakumos]

enhypen as f1 fans - headcanons.

SYNOPSIS. enhypen as f1 fans this is literally just it

GENRE. probably just crack

AUTHOR'S NOTE. this is literally just for fun and i love lando norris. lmk what else you would want to add if u like f1 and enha... let me know what types of fans theyd be... not tagging taglist in this cuz its not that serious of a fic

LEE HEESEUNG. ★

favourite team: aston martin

favourite track: spa-francorchamps

favourite driver: fernando alonso / lewis hamilton

heeseung also gives me the vibe that he likes red bull as well! i think he definitely wouldn't be mad if a rb driver won, but would prefer drivers from his favourite team

he's definitely gone to races before. occasionally buys paddock passes.

had the time of his life in the first half of the 2023 season when aston was good... after the upgrades (more like downgrades) he's been going through it...

but i think he'd still have hope.

the kind of guy to quit watching the race if his favourite driver dnfs

buys merch like a crazy person

loves fernando’s tiktok account with a burning passion. probably uses them as reaction memes in the gc

will lose his shit when fernando or lewis retires.

has a soft spot for oscar

bashes his head against the wall when his fav driver has a slow pitstop

the kind of guy to yell at the tv when the result outcome is terrible

"i'm never watching formula 1 again" he says when his fav doesn't make it to the points... and then proceeds to turn the tv back on the next race week

probably has a selfie with his fav driver (and probably cried a little bit after)

uses that video of fernando's celebration dance as a way to get out of awkward conversations

the first guy to like fernando's new tiktoks whenever they r posted

JAY PARK. ★

favourite team: mercedes

favourite track: circuit of the americas

favourite driver: lewis hamilton / sebastian vettel

honestly i feel like everyone in enha loves lewis

lost his shit when seb retired

i think he also likes nico rosberg as well. seems like a brocedes guy (he sheds tears every time someone brings brocedes up tho)

would sacrifice his right lung for another lewis hamilton win

would gladly help seb build his bee hotels in suzuka

paddock passes every time when he goes and watches f1.

probably has selfies with every driver that he likes

hes just a mercedes guy through and through

he's loyal to his team! if ur a mercedes driver, jay loves u AUTOMATICALLY.

probably died a bit on the inside when george and lewis had contact on turn 1 in qatar 2023

not a red bull fan. im sorry

but he sometimes thinks about turning into a red bull fan because life as a red bull fan is much less depressing compared to being a merc fan

misses the merc domination era

probably on f1twt and is famous there

people know him for having selfies w the drivers and always buying paddock passes. he's a rich guy what can i say

another guy who yells at the screen during a race

whenever merc has disappointing strategies he just sighs and thinks: "i could do a better job"

JAKE SIM. ★

favourite team: ferrari

favourite track: monza / monaco

favourite driver: charles leclerc

SOMEBODY SAVE THIS MAN????

he goes through it every single weekend. every weekend he is constantly disappointed by ferrari and at this point he is considering to quit watching f1

only cares about charles. loves that man with his life

he also likes oscar and danny ric as well, because they're australian

you know how every italian man is in love with charles? they post stuff on their story like "met my husband😍" and it's a pic of them and charles? that's jake. he is him

jake reminds me of that one fan who made charles a pizza and gave it to him in person. like that’s lowkey some shit that he would do

picks up on phrases that charles says. mainly "it's like this" ...

prays every single weekend for charles to get good results (he is always disappointed)

wanted to die when he saw charles' slow pit stop at the dutch gp in 2023... they had NO TYRES and jake threw the remote control at the screen

has charles merch. definitely bought the monaco special edition hat. probably buys apm monaco for charles too

he's definitely gone to races before. probably bought paddock once but he will never do that again his wallet was crying

was 100% in the crowd during charles' 2019 monza win. also shed tears during that moment

"BURN THE SF23" is the most tweeted thing on his f1twt account of the 2023 season

argues with sunghoon all the time over f1 because sunghoon is a red bull fan... but secretly they're literally lecstappen

in general jake would sacrifice his entire life for charles leclerc and... he's so real for that

PARK SUNGHOON. ★

favourite team: red bull

favourite track: zandvoort / red bull ring

favourite driver: max verstappen

the only one enjoying the 2023 season

because his favourite driver always wins

the only one in enha whos NEVER disappointed whenever a race happens

yells rlly loud whenever max wins (so basically every race weekend) and the rest of the enha boys just look at him like 😒

probably has like 5 red bull shirts in his closet and sleeps in them

defends max with his life. probably has a twitter account w the user onlyverstappen and you'll see him bashing the shit out of max haters

prob bought a max mini helmet. almost bought the max verstappen christmas sweater (hes a dedicated fan what can i say)

big maxiel fan. would sacrifice everything for a max and daniel pairing again because he thinks they're funny together

likes max bc of his humour as well

watches youtube videos about f1 like "every f1 driver getting mad at nikita mazepin" or like "funny f1 driver radio moments"

the kind of guy to save every max edit into his camera roll (hes in love what can i say)

started drinking red bulls because of his love for the team… he says it’s his way of supporting them

fan of liam lawson too. needs him to get a seat and he does not care with what team. he just needs to see that man in a f1 car ASAP...

has been to f1 races, bought paddock once to go with jay. max won that race and he never shuts up about how he saw max verstappen win with his own two eyes

has the same passion towards f1 as jake except he lives in a constant state of happiness due to red bull's dominance while jake lives in a constant state of depression

KIM SUNOO. ★

favourite team: alphatauri / williams

favourite track: singapore

favourite driver: yuki tsunoda / alex albon

big yuki fan. thinks his radios are funny

he's not too invested in f1 but watches occasionally

loves alex bc of how he's somehow able to drag a williams into the points

he's pretty quiet when he's watching f1 i feel

feels like the kind of guy to just sit on the couch and be like "hmm. good job" or like "oh. maybe next time..."

mainly bc his fav drivers and teams arent fighting for podiums or championships... but he hopes that they'll be able to someday

he's that one rlly lucky fan that could just be walking around in the same city as his fav f1 driver and just bump into them on the street

doesn't hate any team and doesn't hate any driver. he's a pretty chill f1 fan

the ONE time sunoo probably got pissed was when yuki was on his formation lap and his engine broke down... meaning he didn't start

wanted to punch smth because How in the World

probably bought one of yuki's mini helmets bc he thinks its cute. "good room decor" - kim sunoo 2023

probably has a yuki or alex cap but that's as much merch as he'll buy tbh

likes the yuki / daniel combo for alphatauri but also thinks nyck should've been given a bit more time

probably hasn't been to an f1 race in person... if he went i don't think he'd buy paddock unless one of the other members bought it and brought him along

keeps up w f1 news from twitter or from jake bc he never stops talking about how ferrari’s fucking up charles' strategy again

YANG JUNGWON. ★

favourite team: mclaren

favourite track: silverstone

favourite driver: lando norris / oscar piastri

no, i’m not just saying jungwon is a lando enjoyer just because i am (maybe a little bc i’m biased BUT)

they’re both just adorable so what can i say really

depressed at the beginning of the season when the mclaren boys were driving a fucking TRACTOR for a car

landoscar enthusiast. i don’t make the rules… he and jake remind me of landoscar kinda… like jake would be a lando and jungwon would be an oscar

would do anything (I MEAN ANYTHING) for a lando win… me too

mclaren 1-2? YOU BEST BELIEVE HE'S YELLING LIKE A MANIAC

spends money on lando merch (HOODIES!) and prob wears it bc the designs r insanely cool

sits in silence in the corner when it’s a bad race week for his faves… like he’s crazily silent to the point where it’s scary. it's giving eye twitches vibes

gets hyped for race week tho he’s the kinda guy to have every race logged in his calendar

makes maeumi watch f1 with him. unfortunately maeumi is not a mclaren fan much to his disappointment

if you hate lando or oscar he will hate you. defends them with his life and trust and believe me he will win.

is on f1twt, pretty well known on there (he just tweets random shit and gets 1k likes and hes like... Wtf)

attends races whenever he can, prob not paddock cuz he thinks it’s not really worth it bc of how expensive they are

used to mclaren being good now compared to the start of the season so he’s devastated when they’re not top 5

NISHIMURA RIKI. ★

favourite team: mercedes (ferrari later tho...)

favourite track: suzuka

favourite driver: lewis hamilton / yuki tsunoda / kimi raikkonen

lewis fan because he’s the goat, yuki fan bc he thinks he’s funny and bc they’re both japanese, kimi fan because well... hes KIMI

riki’s prob been invested in f1 since he was a kid, definitely the most involved / passionate w motorsports

probably watches other motorsport series too! pretty sure he’s talked about formula e, and i could see him enjoying indycar and motogp

yk how lewis released that collab w fortnite? riki prob bought the skin and plays as lewis in fortnite😭

loves roscoe!!! would want bisco and roscoe to meet tbh

wants lewis to win again SOOOO badly

prob has a picture with yuki and the height difference would be hilarious (yuki is 159cm)

i think he's a big fan of schumacher, senna, prost too, definitely been watching this sport for a WHILE!

in a complete state of SHOCK when it was revealed lewis would be going to ferrari

started learning italian on duolingo after the big announcement

has definitely been to a few f1 races (suzuka, silverstone & singapore are probably the ones he's been to)

a BIG ACCOUNT ON F1TWT

probably gets invited as a guest of his favourite teams n shit it's crazy he's practically an influencer there

would start an f1 podcast for fun and it would go viral

[v3nusstardust]

🤍”Somethin’ stupid”🤍

Pairing : BF!Niki Nishimura x DEPRESSEDreader! (Real) 🎀

Genre : fluff <3 sad af tho idfk what the genre is

WARNINGS : mentions of self harm, depression, anxiety

A/N : SRRY I usually post like once a week and I forgot to this week I think… Idrk I literally have a fucking concussion rn💀 happened bcs lowkey thought I was in a music video and did cartwheels in my room at 3 am and smacked the shit out of my head and then hit my head on the floor and woke up seeing Gojo Satoru shakin ass 💀😜 anyway enjoy yawl😳

•

•

In the car with your boyfriend Niki, heading to the movie theater, the atmosphere was perfect –soft music, and a feeling that made life worthwhile. It had been a month since you’d seen him. These small moments you had with Niki made your life worth living. Most of the time he was busy or away for his idol duties and you’d miss him so badly. You would wonder if him being away for so long would end up with you both breaking up or you both falling out of love. The thought always made you feel nauseous and overwhelmed. Your overthinking would get the best of you sometimes, and you would result to self harm. Niki had no idea though and you never planned on telling him.

"Y/n, you might want to ditch the hoodie; it's getting pretty warm in here. You're sweating," your boyfriend chuckled, casting a glance your way. "No kidding, it's hot as hell." You sighed wiping your forehead with your sleeve. As you started to pull down the zipper your hoodie, the memories of your scars made you hesitate. “Actually I’m fine. I can handle it.” You reassured Niki. “Huh? Don’t risk a heat stroke, take it off,” he insisted, concern etching his face. “No I’m literally gonna be fine trust me.” You countered, zipping your hoodie back up quickly. “Y/n. It’s the middle of summer and you’re wearing a hoodie darling. You might wanna take it off.” Niki suggested, a puzzled look was painted on his face. “I’m gonna be alright trust me.” You gave Niki a sweet smile, trying to look unsuspicious. “Whatever you say Y/n.” Your boyfriend sighed.

You and Niki finally arrived at the movie theater. You checked in, got tickets, got snacks and headed to your movie. The air-conditioned theater promised relief from the summer heat, but your hoodie remained a steadfast companion.

Inside the cool, dimly lit theater, you found your seats, the contrast between the chilly air and your hoodie creating a cozy bubble. The movie previews flickered on the screen, and the scent of buttered popcorn filled the air.

Niki leaned over and whispered, "Are you sure you won't overheat in there?..”

“It’s cool in here Niki! I’m fine.” You softly giggled. The movie began, and you got so into it that the hoodie wasn't on your mind anymore. The plot grabbed your attention, and the cozy warmth just blended into the background.

Midway through the movie, Niki gently reached for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. Your initial reaction was surprise; you were aware of Niki's habit for tracing his fingers along your palms and wrists. Softly pushing his hand away, you met his gaze. He looked absolutely ethereal in the dim theater lighting.

"Do you not want to hold hands?" Niki whispered, pouting with a hint of sadness.

"I do, just... not right now," you replied. Niki's worried expression prompted him to ask, "Is there something wrong?"

You hesitated before responding, "No, no, I just... don't worry about it."

Your words, though intended to reassure, unintentionally stabbed at Niki's heart. His love for you was profound, and while he knew he could be clingy, he never imagined it could "annoy you." The worry in his eyes lingered as the movie played on.

You both went back to the apartment after the movie. The car ride was quiet because you pretended to be asleep, avoiding a talk about why you didn't hold hands. Niki spent the entire ride overthinking what he might have done wrong.

“Niki. I’m gonna go take a shower.” You said, walking off to your room to get your clothes. “Oh okay. I’ll make you some tea for when you get out.” He replied.

When you stepped in the shower, the warm water stung your fresh cuts. You held your wrists and winced in pain, small tears ran down your cheeks. Staring at your wrists, you wondered how you could be so stupid. You regret doing it , because now Niki might see them. The thought made you softly cry. Thank God the shower water was loud enough to cover up your soft muttering and sighs.

After your shower, you returned to the kitchen. Niki was busy cooking dinner and brewing tea for both of you, a delightful surprise that warmed your heart. Soft music played from his speaker next to the stove.

Curious, you asked, "What are you making?" Sitting at the table, he chuckled and replied, "Pasta, I’m trying out new things." The song changed to your favorite, "Somethin’ Stupid” by Frank Sinatra. Excitedly, you exclaimed, "Niki, you added my favorite song to your playlist!"

With a smile, he admitted, "I really like this song. Isn't it your favorite?" You giggled, "Duh! I play it all the time in your car." Niki turned off the stove and approached you. "Is the food ready?" you inquired. "Not yet, but how about we dance?" he suggested, extending his hand with a gentle smile, eyes filled with admiration.

In the soft glow of the dim kitchen light, you and Niki began to slow dance. The soothing melody of the song filled the air as he held you close. The ambiance was warm, and the subtle scent of dinner in the making lingered.

Niki led with gentle grace, swaying to the music with you in a tranquil dance. The rhythmic steps mirrored the easy connection between you two, the worries of the day fading away in the embrace of the moment. His hand rested on the small of your back, fingers delicately entwined with yours. As you swayed together, his other hand found its place on your waist, the closeness allowing you to feel the comforting warmth of his touch. The subtle aroma of the cooking dinner heightened the sensory experience.

Niki's gaze, brimming with stars and admiration, locked onto yours as he gently took your hand in his. However, reality snapped you back, and a sudden fear of him discovering your self infliction made you pull away. You pulled your hand away from his gently. Niki stopped dancing with you, his eyes locked onto yours with concern. "I'm sorry for asking, but why don't you want me to hold your hand?" he inquired.

A tremor ran through you, fear intensifying. Taking a deep breath, you hesitated before admitting, "I... I just," struggling to find the right words. The fear of Niki discovering your scars weighed heavy on your mind.

After a moment, you decided to face it. "Actually, you know what? Hold hands with me," you said, mustering a smile and intertwining your fingers with his. It was a fleeting decision, hoping that the dance would end before he’d notice. He brought a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Your hair smells good.” He nestled his nose into your hair. The song made the moment vulnerable. You found yourself forgetting about all your worries once again. He brought his lips to your wrist, you didn’t even catch it either. You were too busy humming the melody of the song into his chest. Niki pressed his lips to your wrist. He quickly pulled back and examined if, squinting his eyes. You suddenly realized what he was doing. You pulled away from his arms and held your wrist. His face looked indescribable. Worried, sad, confused all at the same time. The song had stopped already, and the room fell silent. "Y/n," Niki uttered softly, his voice carrying a mixture of concern and care. Before he could say more, your lips began to quiver, and tears welled up in your lashes. A gentle cascade of tears spilled from your eyes.

Niki, swift in his response, hurried over and enveloped you in a warm embrace. His chin rested on your head, and his hand traced soothing circles on your back. Anxiety gripped you like a constricting fog, the weight on your chest almost suffocating. Tears stained Niki's once-white shirt, but he paid it no mind.

"It's okay. I'm not upset," he reassured, planting a tender kiss on the top of your head. "My poor, beautiful girl. When did you do that?" he asked, lifting your chin to meet his gaze. Your hyperventilating made it challenging to speak, rendering you silent in the vulnerability of the moment.

Your hyperventilation began to subside, allowing you to regain some composure. "I..was just.. overthinking," you finally managed to admit, your voice still shaky.

Niki's expression softened, a mixture of empathy and a determination to be there for you. “Was it because of me?” he whispered, his thumb brushing away a tear that lingered on your cheek.

You hesitated, the weight of your emotions pressing against your chest. "Yes?... no," you stumbled over your words, struggling to articulate the whirlwind within. "I just miss you so much when you're gone for so long. I feel so lonely again. You're... you're my only light, and the only one in my life who actually makes me happy. I can't stand it when you're away."

Niki's gaze held a depth of understanding as he gently cradled your face. "Y/n, I didn't realize. I'm here for you, always. I’ll bring you with me next time, and the next one after that. I promise my love,” he reassured. His words soothed the ache within your heart. “I’ll be back,” Niki gently pulled his body away from yours. “I’m gonna go get bandages from the bathroom. Sit down,” he kissed your cheek before leaving the room.

When Niki returned, you couldn't help but chuckle at the state of his shirt, soaked with tear and snot stains – undeniably gross. Standing in front of you, he gently took hold of both your injured wrists, his eyes carrying a mix of hurt and pain. Soft elastic bandages in hand, he began to wrap your wrists with a delicate touch.

As he worked, you noticed a subtle glisten in his eyes. His fingers traced along the palms of your wrists, a silent acknowledgment of shared pain. You looked up at him with teary eyes and saw the vulnerability in his gaze.

"Promise me you'll never do this again," he pleaded, his voice cracking with emotion. Small tears escaped his eyes, tracing down his cheeks. Overwhelmed, you apologized, "I... I'm sorry. I promise. I'm so sorry."You rose from your chair, embracing Niki tightly, the shared pain and promise binding you together in that moment. “I love you so much darling you have no idea. To know that you’ve been hurting yourself like this.. it kills me.” He whispered softly. “I love you too, Niki.” You placed a soft kiss to his chin.

"Do you wanna finish making dinner, and then we can cuddle after?" you proposed.

As Niki's sniffles gradually subsided, a tender smile graced his face, the corners of his eyes still dampened. Niki's smile widened as he looked down at you. "Of course," he agreed, his head tilting slightly. In that gentle tilt, he closed the distance, leaning in for a long, reassuring kiss.

Together, you continued with the meal, the kitchen filled with the comforting aroma of food and music. You showed Niki more songs you liked and he added them to y’all’s new slow dancing playlist.

As you placed the finishing touches on the meal, Niki slid his arms around you, pulling you into a warm embrace. "Smells amazing in here, thank you for helping me darling.”

The conversation during dinner went smoothly. You both talked about stories of the past and dreams for the future. Niki's eyes, still holding a glimmer of tenderness, locked onto yours, reinforcing the unspoken understanding that this moment, amidst shared laughter and a table filled with love, was truly special.

Cuddling on the couch, the outside world faded away, leaving room for the intimacy of shared comfort. “You’re so pretty y/n” Niki admired your facial features. The smell of his fresh Basil and mandarin cologne brought you comfort. You threw your leg over his and snuggled closer onto him. He could feel your soft breaths on his neck. Niki peppered kisses on your temples. He was humming a gentle tune to one of your favorite songs. The moment made you realize how lucky you were to be with someone like him.

A/n : erm I literally fell asleep writing this w my hard ass fit on and makeup bruh my skin is breaking out hella someone come kill me. Srry for the amount of mistakes btw I did not read over it 🤓🤓 I raw dogged this it might be shitty Also I hope y’all liek:3 i put my whole venussy into this. Xoxo💋💋

[enluv]

004: YOU DATED MY GF? (read: soobin’s backstory)

– genre: written content & smau

– wc: 1.2k + (sorry babes ilysm muah!)

– warnings: angst, deception, feelings of not being enough and depression(?), privacy violations, drama, lmk if I missed something!

Four pairs of eyes watch as he paces throughout the living room, gnawing at the once smooth skin around the bed of his nails, Soobin is mentally preparing himself to be lectured at his next shoot by his manager for messing up his “perfect hands”.

The thread is fresh on his mind, and while he appreciated the boys allowing him to tell his side of the story, he wasn’t sure what more to say.

He wanted to tell them the full truth but he wasn’t sure how they’d take it, he’s known them most of his life now. As he started becoming the person he wanted to be they stood by him every step of the way but for sometime before, he was alone, stuck with the idea that he’d be going nowhere, he’d be some boring guy with some boring beige job that he’d hate but that at the very least provided him what he needed to live comfortably, and then his life was completely turned around and he hadn’t looked back since.

“Soobin, you’re my best friend but I need you to tell us the truth about this Y/N situation, she’s my friend too, a really good one.”

Beomgyu speaks up first, and Soobin is suddenly taken back to when he’d first uttered your name to him, he’d excitedly talked about the event he had just went to a few days prior and how it would have been so boring but he had made a friend, a friend named Y/N, “she makes music and she’s super freaking cool.” Soobin’s heart sunk as he mustered up a smile, congratulating Beomgyu for making a new friend, something he surprisingly had a hard time doing back then.

“What you all read wasn’t completely false, but it left out a lot of key information that only Y/N and I knew,” he pauses and finds his way back in front of the boys, “When I met Y/N she hadn’t started making music yet, and I didn’t know any of you, I had completely different friends who had the worst influence on me and I was in a place in life where I just didn’t know where I was going or what I wanted to do. I was convinced I’d live a boring life with a boring job that I hated.” He sighs and takes a seat on the rug in front of the boys.

“The thread was right, I wasn’t ready to commit to anyone, but what it didn’t mention was that Y/N understood that and she was okay with it, our relationship was friends with benefits like but as time went on it began to change for me, and for her too, I know because she told me but you guys know, Y/N is an amazing person, her music is amazing and when she started to get bigger I didn’t want bring her down.”

“What do you mean by bring her down?” It’s Taehyun who asks first.

“She was going places, that much was obvious when she started getting offers and deals, and then suddenly I got this realization that I’d just be a distraction for her if we started something serious. She kept telling me how much I helped her and how inspiring I was but I hadn’t done anything for her and it made me so mad because here she was, this amazing person who deserved the world and here I was, literally a nobody who couldn’t even give her commitment.”

“Bro you were too hard on yourself, she obviously really liked you.”

“And I understand that now gyu but at the time I seriously had nothing going for me, I hadn’t signed my contract yet, I hadn’t met you all, and I was still stuck back home.” His eyes are glued to the small rug hairs under him, fingers plucking at them to help distract himself from the raw nail beds he bit away at while explaining his side of things.

“Okay so I understand what you’re telling us and I obviously believe you but what happened after? Why does she seem to be so hurt by you?”

“Because the night she released lowkey, you know the song that blew up for her, she asked me if we could be official and I lied to her, I told her that I didn’t want to be committed to anyone and that I’d been seeing someone else while also being with her, but it was all lies, I just didn’t want to drag her down, especially because she was just starting her career. I wanted at least one of us to make it out that life, you know?”

“You’re an idiot.”

“I know that Yeonjun.”

“Shut up and let me finish, you’re an idiot because Y/N loved you so much, and I understand that you felt some type of way because you hadn’t figured out your life yet but be serious for one second, who the fuck has ever figured their life out right out of high school? You were nineteen years old Soobin. I mean look where you are now, you made it out, you’re here doing a fun not boring job with cool ass people, meaning as all of us, Y/N didn’t deserve that kind of heartbreak Soobin, she deserved a proper break up or even just a truthful explanation.”

Soobin nods at his words, he knows that and he even knows just how awful he was for lying, he’d think about it every time he listened to something new you put out, knowing it was about him. Sure he’d been a stupid kid at one point but being with you he was at his happiest and he lives by that everyday, he knows he was wrong and he knows he should have just told you the truth but in all honesty, he wasn’t sure how.

“I regret it everyday, honestly I wish I could take it back.”

An excited Beomgyu shoots up from his seat as Hueningkai falls from his lap, “I have an idea.”

“Y/N and I are really good friends and you’re my best friend. You want to apologize and right your wrongs and she’s obviously still in love with you or has some kind of feelings towards you so why don’t we fix that. Then everyone is happy and we can all be one big happy family!”

“How are we supposed to fix this? I mean this in the nicest way possible but, your ideas are always ass.”

“Firstly, fuck you Yeonjun, and secondly let me tell you my plan.”

The boys sit back, not a single word is spoken as they all nod their heads at Beomgyu.

“Well shit, maybe this time your plan might actually work.”

MASTERLIST / PREVIOUS / NEXT

coco’s ♡ note: dun dun dun!! and there it is folks! we finally have soobin’s side of the sooby/n drama! question is, will he be able to make things right with y/n, or is he too late? dun dun dun!! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, the first draft of it got deleted so I had to re-write it but I think I’m pretty happy with how it came out!! As always, feedback & reblogs are always appreciated!

TTT TAGLIST! - @jmin-s @stealanity @iijwon @invuwrld @igotkpoops @telesvng @whippedforbeomgyu @l0ve-joy @envirae @neozon3nha @meiiiwa @kangtaehyunfan029 @chaerybae @ch2won @cinnikoi @wccycc @run2seob @stariszn @haew0nz - Want to be added? Send an ask or dm to be added to the taglist!!

[nightswithkookmin]

Everyone else: “he said he didn’t have a girlfriend” Me: but he didn’t say he didn’t have a boyfriend

It really is interesting seeing everyone's reaction, when there shouldn't be one. Someone planting fake stories or whatever they are as a way to villanize him, and yet, nothing he has allegedly done is even considered bad.

People shame sex positivity and thus why we still have people who call women slvts/tramps simply for fulfilling very human needs.

Now I'm not saying that thats what JK is doing, but, in terms of something bad, trying to shame someone or expose them for back hugging someone and then immediately jumping straight into "they're fucking" is quite the reach lol.

Not long ago I made a post saying these people can't tell when a man is queer. I told them they are the same ones who would end up dating married men cos the keep missing the signs.

Did I not say over and over that Jikook were the only ones in that group that weren't groaning and moaning over not being coupled up while Tae was exhibiting signs of depression and loneliness?

I used to drag Tuktukkers for missing the sign T was depressed and lonely as fuck and would call them out for Shipping a man who wanted nothing more than deeper intimacy and connection and begged for hybe to get him a girlfriend or boyfriend cos dude was going through it and it showed.

But one look at Jikook and it's like they didn't even know ow what loneliness was. Lowkey made them appear tone deaf around Tae acting like he was clingy and too needy sommin. But at least JM tried for him.

I remember T talking about going through something and Jk jx blurted out, well if you need someone to talk to feel free to reach out to the members. I was like SIRRRRRŔ. HE'S YOUR COMMONALITY YOUS SUPPOSED TO SAY COME TO ME NOT GO TO THEM.

You know, little things like this. Oh notice how in his live he says Tae called him and asked to come over to record at his place and he was like boy why so sudden????

Then Jm didn't even remember letting Tae sleep over when dude said he was having a night mare at night.

They jx couldn't relate 🤧

Bless their hearts they can be so wrapped up in their own world sometimes.

So for me, I couldn't believe Tuktukk was real for the same reason I don't believe Jk or JM is seeing any body else.

For JK this is the second time he has publicly and openingly renounced a girl. Fling or not, one night stand or not, YOU MEAN NOTHING TO HIM. NOTHING.

And this goes to all mijoo believers as well

NOTHING. YALL MEAN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

And please he said HE DIDN'T NEED ONE.

SEXUAL INTIMACY- EVERYONE NEEDS IT.

IF HE'S NOT GETTING IT FROM NO GIRL THEN HE'S DEFINITELY GETTING IT FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE COS HE'S NOT A VIRGINIA 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

NAUGHTY NAUGHTY BOY

Daddy getting hot at the jibooty shop

Doing something unholy

[syntaxaero]

so like. as someone diagnosed with autism, general anxiety, and at one point mild depression (and probably also adhd just based on experiences i relate to and. the fact almost everyone in my family has it *except me*). moments of pure shamelessness, ecstasy, productivity, and a whole wide range of other moods or emotions are feelings i wish i could just hold onto forever!! and it makes me wonder: do people without any of these disabilities feel these positive feelings all the time? or atleast, significantly more than i do? its not like i dont feel these things alot, but sometimes i feel more of 1 particular feeling, maybe because im at a fun event with friends, or something, and once im out of there or the feeling fades- i miss it BAD.

i hate going from being super productive 1 evening to just Doing Nothing for weeks straight. i hate feeling super happy and blabbering my butt off about things that make me happy without any shame to lowkey regretting just about every word that comes out my mouth the next morning. i hate going from a super positive feeling to just feeling Super Mild for the entire month!! i hate when i feel like i could remember all sorts of tiny details ive heard once from years ago to literally forgetting the next word in this sentence! if i could do anything to feel certain ways all the time, i would! but thats either dangerous, expensive, or Takes Way Too Fucking Long (or effort)! augh!!!!

[tortured-writers-parttime-poets]

police izuku au

i dunno how i didnt think of this before bc i actually love reading fics of this au

this is gonna be a bit unorganized because its straight from my notes app but oh well

-izuku being one of the youngest graduates of the police academy/helping out so much at the station that they just go 'fuck it' abd give him a license

-IZUKU WITH GUNS !!!

-he also does part time detective work because his analysis is unmatched

-he has degrees in psychology, criminology, social work, and he's a licensed EMT + his detective/police shit

-everyone knows him in the station, and so do heroes that frequent there like eraserhead

-hes basically naomasa's son

-he has coffee+smoking addictions but hes stoll the sunshine boy of the police

-though once or twice they've seen him get real mad on the field and the officers that witnessed it are vaguely terrified of him

-but he's still baby

-martial arts !!!! his local dojo is his third home, only behind the station and his shitty but cozy apartment. 

-he's been doing minor detective work since he was fourteen, at fic time he's like 16 and also managed to stop the war by predicting attacks and arresting/saving and rehabilitating the league and shooting afo through the head.

-the hero students know of and have seen him at this point but havent spoken to him

-they just kind of see him popping up everywhere and hanging around crime scenes and periodically annoying tsukauchi and eraser because he's a chaotic neutral gremlin

-he would be chaotic lawful but he's only lawful where the law can see

-He should have never met nedzu.

-he's chaotic neutral because while he is technically a Good Guy, he does chaotic (illegal)shit when he wants where he wants because he wants to and has no survival instincts

-he's lowkey kind of depressed/suicidal

-hes also on anxiety meds which tend to ramp up the sucidal thoughts for some fucking reason

-so thats why he isnt a jittering ball of nerves, stuttering and other cringe shit

-also because he got that shit beat of out him like he's hella traumatized

-also kinda psychotic but its cool

-he laughed in bakugous face once

-legit looked down at him(cuz i made izu tall), smirked, snorted, and burst out laughibg while bakugou was threatening him.

-"id say im sorry but im not, its just hard to take you seriously when i have to crane my neck to look down at you-" then turned around and walked away towards the detective, still giggling

-bakugou was so stunned he didnt go after him.

-HE HAS A MULLET !!! ITS  NOT SUPER NOTICEABLE BUT ITS THERE

-he also has his ears pierced, 

-the earing on his left ear is one he had custom made from a piece of his jawbone he had to get removed after he got fucked up on the field one time

-its sick as fuck and he'll tell the story to whoever asks, its not a sensitive thing

-his jaw is a bit crooked too like u can see where the chunk is missing

-not super noticeable but still there

-he's like 6'2, so noticeably much taller than naomasa, but the detective still likes to ruffle his hair, even though he has to reach up now. 

-sometimes he looks at him and sighs, grumbling about how his son is all grown up now

-1A and 1B  are 2A and 2B at fic time, and simce the war never happened (for them), they are significantly less traumatized

-izuku however was at the frontlines when they went in for the final takedown of the league,

-so he's traumatized enough for all of them.

-he's covered in scars from knives, bullets, claws, SH, etc etc

-he's also ripped

-gotta be for the police work

-not like aizawa ripped but if he rolled up the sleeves on a button up and crossed his arms the seams of the shirt would be straining.

-one time he was in one of those tight sleeveless shirts that have bare hips (yk the ones whore) and he got called in so he didnt change and everyone got a good look at all the muscles and scars 

(//👁️////👁️//)

-the UA students were there too because he was called in (optionally) to help with training shit and he just didnt bother to change 

-they were simpin fr

-he's aroace tho <333 (projecting) 

-tsuki tossed him a double thigh holster 4 knives which made his baggy cargo pants a bit less baggy and a bit more *cough* defined (cue more student simping)

-he's completely unaware of the effect hes having on them btw

-and fingerless gloves with padded+built in brass knuckles!!! he already had those on tho

-hes just funky like that

[conanssummerchild]

i finally gave in and im making some rick and morty oc's >:))

we have:

Rick Sanchez A-26M

Morty Smith L9-DD

Summer Sanchez X-22 (she changed her surname to sanchez after escaping her dimension. maybe her jerry was abusive or something. in reality i just want her to be summer sanchez. might find a way to make morty morty sanchez too.)

Beth Smith N0T (thats a zero but it is reffered to as dimension not or the not dimension or smth)

Jerry Smith N0T

and they all live on Earth dimension N0T

backstory:

ive never made an oc before literally ever in my life (let alone 5) but im working on the lore rn and maybe sometime this month i'll do character designs but im really busy rn. definitely by the end of summer tho

additional info:

rick has paranoia depression anxiety adhd and autism (but he refuses to go to therapy so most of these arent actually diagnosed, but im literally his creator so i know, with the exception of paranoia (due to his psycotic break he was briefly forced into citadel therapy or whatever) and depression. i dont think he knows about the anxiety/he refuses to acknowledge it and he self medicates his adhd. he knows about the autism) hes also still an alcoholic (like most ricks i think) his beth jerry and summer's whereabouts are unknown (at least until i think of smth better 😭)

morty's rick is dead but when he was alive he was lowkey kinda nice (if overly and unhealthily dependant on morty) so morty misses him dearly :( morty tried to help his rick recover from dianes death and stop him from destroying himself finding rick prime but he couldnt and he blames himself for ricks death, he has a lot of abandonment issues and maybe some ptsd too. hes a bit more prickly than your standard morty until he really gets close to someone, hes less immediately trusting. after his rick died he ran away from home to the citadel, trying to find another rick but after a few years and about 5 ricks he realised it was useless and he would never be able to really replace his rick. his family was assigned another morty after he split and they're fine. he hung around the morty town locos for a while until finding summer x-22

summer's whole family is alive still but she ran away from home due to her jerry being abusive, as i mentioned earlier. she stole ricks portal gun and portalled over to the citadel, but the portal gun was damaged and she couldnt go anywhere else. morty l9-dd found her crying behind the creepy morty and tried to steal her portal gun (bcs the morty town locos fw portal fluid) but she pinned him against a wall and told him she'd slit his throat out if he didnt help her so he agreed. they bonded after that and became pretty much inseparable.

summer confided that she hadnt had a good relationship with her morty bcs he always turned a blind eye to the abuse and excused jerry. morty told her he spent so much time trying to keep his rick from spiralling that he never formed much of a relationship with his summer

when they get to dimension N0T beth and jerry seem perfect but they soon find out that the rick of this dimension was dead of suicide or smth and that beth tried to commit to after his death maybe. beth here is also an alcoholic, like c-131 is and jerry is in charge of keeping up appearances, which is harder once you have 3 new people living in your broken home.

im not sure a lot of this still might change it needs a lot of work

defining traits (both personality and physical):

rick: more quiet, often zones out and seems like hes not even there, but still bitchy when he does talk. when they first get to N0T he barely leaves his room for 2 months and beth keeps panicking bcs shes worried he'll kill himself like her rick. even tho she doesnt know him he looks so much like her rick did (bcs theyre both ricks duh) and its just stirring back up some stuff for her. his hair is a little flatter than c-137. perhaps he has a fringe. maybe he wears a soft wool jumper. je has self harm scars but always wears long sleeves, so theyre not visible

morty: his tones a bit sharper, hes more skeptical of ppl than morty prime is. hates rick prime almost as much as a-26m does. darker yellow t shirt (like the mortys in mortytown) scars across his eye (I KNOW IM NOT ORIGINAL OK i didnt want to put the scar down his lip bcs i didnt want to assosciate him with evil rick and morty, he has nothing to do with them) maybe the scar is across his cheek idk

summer: always a bit on edge, carries a knife on her at all times. incredibly mistrusting of jerry N0T when they got there. still weary of him and doesnt let him get too close. jerry is too tired trying to keep up appearances to really do much to try and ease summers mistrust of him. black tank top instead of pink. hot pink belt on her jeans tho maybe. loose hair bcs a ponytail is too easy to grab, sharp nails, painted pink. bruises on her arms that start to fade in the beginning of her time on the citadel with morty

beth: often out of it or drunk, more so the more time rick morty and summer stay bcs she cares less and less about keeping how shitty shes doing from them. at the beginning she seems like a perfect housewife, or someone putting on a performance of one. looks pretty much the same if not a little more disheveled, in the beginning wears one of those fancy white frilly aprons with a red heart embroidered. drops the apron as she drops the act

jerry: tired, dark circles maybe (rick and morty also have these, summer and jerry wear makeup to cover them, beth and rick have eyebags also) starts wearing the apron when beth stops lol, defeated demeanour, kinda depressed a lot of the time. lonely

anyway a lot of this is probably gonna be changed idkkkk

ooh also how long it took for a bond to form between characters:

rick and morty: about 2-3 months. both desperately missed their old partners which sped it up a bit but morty was scared of getting attached and rick at the start was too out of it most days to really form any kind of connection also he was scared of getting attatched too but for different reasons (morty was scared he'd lose another rick, rick felt like everyone he got close to ended up worse off (diane, his prev morty))

rick and summer: like maybe 5 months, they didnt interact much at first, like i said rick was too out of it and summer didnt really trust rick and saw him as unstable, but as rick grew closer to morty, summer slowly became a little less suspicious and maybe rick helped her with smth and they bonded over that idk

rick and beth: their initial relationship was not healthy, beth trying desperately to prevent rick from killing himself and rick not being willing to work on himself healthily, causing beth great panic and anxiety, but after like 6 months or so they become drinking buddies, still not the healthiest father-daughter relationship but it eases beths mind and makes rick feel less alone

rick and jerry: even after like 10 months living at the smith house rick and jerry dont have much of a relationship, both are too caught up in their own exhaustion to make an effort to bond, may change at some point

morty and summer: started to form a relationship within the first week of meeting eachother, maybe 7 or so months before they encountered rick (i need to make a timeline) probably the strongest relationship of all of these listed

morty and beth: surprisingly quickly, within the first 1 or 2 months, morty misses his mum and he wants to try and help beth a bit

morty and jerry: mutual respect for eachother, morty helps jerry out around the house and with things, started like this after anytime between a few weeks and 2 months

summer and beth: 4 months, took a while but eventually they formed a bond, its easier for summer to relax around beth and beth likes having a daughter

summer and jerry: still distrust after 10 months, will likely take a long time for any kind of relationship to form, no matter how minor

beth and jerry: pre established relationship obviously but its not a very good or happy one, maybe after 9 months they start trying to work on it again

[dotaeisms]

‘ANGEL EYES’ / LEE TAEYONG

🏷️ 〉〉fluff, honestly pure indulgence, i love you taeyong it’s not ok.

⚠️ 〉〉depression lowkey, comfort?, hurt definitely. pet names! (sugar cube, baby, bubu)

let me know if i missed anything :3 !!

‘sh baby, it’s all gonna be ok.’

would it be though? it would take so much to regain confidence in one’s self again after the college incident.

only a failure would withdraw from a class because they couldn’t complete any of the online assignments on time.

right?

that’s what you thought anyways.

but of course, taeyong wouldn’t accept that.

he thinks you’re perfect, beautiful, exceptional at anything and everything.

but we all have flaws right?

every chip and ridged edge on your body or mind, he absolutely adored.

but deep down you thought you let everyone down.

‘i don’t think it’s ok…’

‘well, tell me what’s on your mind?’

the bed was the only comfy spot, the soft and familiar exterior of the sheets.

the smells, lavender and the hint of tae’s cologne.

‘i think i’m letting everyone down.’

words cut like a knife sometimes.

‘why’s that sugar cube?’

taeyong strokes your hair, softly placing kisses to your forehead with vigor, such adoration for a human being.

‘i just feel like i couldn’t handle it, shouldn’t i be able to?’

soft tears started to run down your cheeks now, and all taeyong could do was wipe them away.

‘not necessarily baby. all humans can only handle so much, we all have limits, it’s ok to establish them.’

a quick kiss to the cheek and a nod, only silence from you at this point.

comfortable silence.

‘i love you sugar cube, you know that right?’

is all your partner says.

you then nod, tucking your face into his chest with the tears still flowing.

‘thank you bubu.’

‘of course my angel, anything to cheer you up.’

[unohanabbygirl]

Forever by your side x FMN crossover. Like how does everyone process Luke being able to remember again but still only having the memories of them locked at 14. Or would it be more painful that he doesn’t remember them at all but can make long term memories??

After stormsend every day they shared is gone same as before but to their own minds no chance of him remembering. Luke is independent doesn’t need them in the same way if he does remember his fourteen years of life from before. I feel like it would retraumatise everyone again after they had made peace with it the first time around.

How do they deal with their relationship to him then without him needing constant and specific care. He’s a champion SURFER for crying out loud (Aemond has heart attacks watching his husband now back reedy and tall before he filled out throwing himself into waves that once stole everything from him). Honestly story low-key ruined my life for the night. Such a horrible fate but so interesting to see in dynamics!!

Also history reading Luke’s journals?? They’d be Romeo and Juliet with the tragic end without the end. Sobbing just thinking about it.

Let me just say I love that whenever I post a new story we all think about doing a forget me not crossover. FMN is really that girl.

Anyway, this is the crossover that was promised because the idea of Luke remembering his past BUT still having no memory of his life post Storms End is just as painful as him having no memory at all. I imagine that this version of Luke and Aemond lived very well into old age so that’s sixty years of a long beautiful life together just gone.

It’s enough to drive Aemond into a depression. Imagine your spouse that you spent your entire life with not being able to remember a single moment of it. Their last memory of you being how you nearly killed them.

Yea, Aemond is always gonna suffer big time.

And as we all know, FMN Luke is very independent and hates anyone telling him what he can and can’t do. Not to mention that he’s never been in a dangerous accident such as a car crash for example, so he doesn’t have any trauma making him hyper aware of such things. Aemond having a panic attack every time Luke does something lowkey dangerous is sad yet kinda interesting because you just wanna see how he reacts. Imagine Luke doing something as simple as sticking his head out the car window while they’re on the highway and Aemond freaks out big time.

Luke no longer needing constant around the clock care and guidance is such a foreign concept that no one knows how to give Luke his space anymore. It’s odd that he seems to have an aversion to touch when in the past all he did was hold their hands and stay as close to them as possible as he tried adjusting for the day.

On one hand they’re excited that Luke has been able to live life without such a debilitating disability. On the other it gives them a sense that they’ve lost their purpose in a way. Of course as a family they don’t need to have an exact purpose other than to love and appreciate him, but to no longer have that role of being a caretaker is strange.

Luke’s journals fill that missing hole in history since the war never happened. There’s a while genre of film and media dedicated to Luke and Aemond’s heart wrenching love. They blow Rhaenyra/Harwin out of the water and thats just that.

Just imagine that in Luke’s final days he was no longer able to hold his pen as well and his hands were incredibly stiff and swollen due to arthritis. So every night before they go to bed Aemond sits Luke down as he rambles on about his day and what he wishes he could remember as Aemond writes it all down for him, signing both their names before tucking them in.

Hollywood spins these last days into a movie sometime in the early 90’s and its still the highest grossing film in Westeros history till this day.

[msommers]

4, 16, 18 for maeve, meredith and jorina!

ok listen do NOT look @ me for this taking so long i WASN'T absorbed in laying in bed, staring @ the ceiling, constantly thinking thoughts but never writing them down. that's crazy talk. anyway thank u ily <333 // oc asks: childhood edition // placing the read more higher up than usual bc shocking nobody, i don't know how to keep answers short and i wanna save everyone's dashboards from this

4) How was your muse's relationship with their childhood guardians? Has it changed over time, and if so, how? Do they keep in touch?

so check it out. i read this question an entirely different way the first time i saw it and had different answers, doubted them for like 15 minutes straight, then redid it all upon realization. so now here we are

MAEVE — bad! not good!! never improved!!! i wouldn't even call Maeve's parents her guardians in any capacity because they were so horrible at that job. they started lowkey coercing her into developing her charm when she first caught a man's attention for being pretty because they wanted to get stuff out of it, emotionally neglected her the entire time she lived with them, made her feel guilty about the most ridiculous things on a regular basis, literally sold her to Carden the same day he voiced his interest in taking her away, etc etc add a dozen other offenses here. what changed over time would be Maeve having the distance and years to process how they treated her (mother straight up abusive, father on a lower level and mostly through his inaction), accepting it, and working on the struggles/damage they saddled her with. no contact at all, even if i did entertain the age old concept of her discovering where they moved to during her travels with a witcher or two, she wants nothing to do with them.

MEREDITH — so close to both parents, her father maybe a little more so due to extra time together but that didn't lessen the bond between her and her mother. Meredith and Bryce spent a great deal of time together as she was interested in following in his footsteps, and eventually being heir of the teyrnir, which required a ridiculous amount of educating (required is a strong term, but they both agreed it was excellent to have and she loved her lessons) and additional hands-on experience being at his side while he attended his duties. they knew how to make each other laugh, his hugs were her favorite thing in all of Thedas, and she was all but his official right-hand lady by the time origins came around tbh. Sometimes she'll make a snide comment that she knew he would have laughed at and it causes a physical ache how terribly she misses the sound. Eleanor was the one to initiate Meredith's rogue training to further her capability, and that's something she'll always be grateful for. Her mother taught her how to read maps, calculate numbers in a battle, properly host visitors, she was also the one to give her lessons in Alamarri to help preserve the language. They could soothe each other's nerves or irritation simply by being at one another's side, and held entire conversations through glances and expressions alone. Her mother's smile always filled her with warmth and she spends the rest of her life wishing she could see it just one more time.

JORINA — so much love was present, even in the times of trying to figure her out. she and her father were happy in their quiet art activities together, but she shied away from his affection when it became too overwhelming. her mother supported Jorina's fierce independence without question, but couldn't understand the introvert’s need to recharge and on occasion pushed her a little too far outside of her boundaries. they were most likely at the stage of classic moody arguments between a mom and teen before Wenna’s death and Jorina regrets that to no end. Renehn fell into a severe depression after Wenna was gone (plus some other events of the blight but who has the time to list) and it irrevocably altered he and Jorina's relationship as she was forced to step up in her mid-teens to provide for the family, but fortunately they get the time to heal from individual wounds and come together down the line to slowly rebuild their relationship with great patience and new understandings of each other. Jorina finding her own love helped an immeasurable amount with her coming to understand what her father went through because she doesn't know what the fuck she'd do with herself if anything happened to Aleksi. they kept in contact through Jorina's letters sent back home while she worked for the Inquisition (her siblings would read them to him until he was able to do so himself), and through the occasional visit when time was free for it. level of contact after events of trespasser depends on what happened there i guess lmao

16) If your muse could say one thing to their childhood self, what would they say? Would your muse want to meet their childhood self in the first place?

MAEVE — she would jump at the chance to meet her childhood self because the girl desperately needed love and attention that she’d be all too happy to provide, no matter how short their time together would be. trouble is!! this would likely be one of the rare scenarios where she’d struggle to find the right words, because her list of potentials would be so goddamn long she wouldn’t know where to start. she’d likely end up giving her a much-needed hug, a kiss to the top of the head, and telling her smth like “you are stronger than any deterrent that this world may try to put in your path, love. never doubt that.” bc y’know. soft girl gonna soft and not recognize the strength needed to endure all the shit she suffers to reach her happiness lmfao

MEREDITH — “never doubt your instincts. not even for a moment.” it was the doubt that Rendon could be up to anything truly horrible That EveningTM which led to Meredith holding her tongue, perhaps a gentle (or rather: intense as hell, calm down she's just a kid, mere-) nudge could alter that. could change everything, could change absolutely nothing at all, worth the shot tho.

JORINA — she wouldn’t want to meet her childhood self one bit, she'd get so depressed lol. even when she was young, Jorina was always trying to act older than she was and missed out on a lot of the youthful joy and activities she should’ve had because of that. she’d want to tell her to go play with the other kids, put down the chores for a few hours and just have fun, but i don’t think she’d be able to do it. she’d be too upset about the reminder incarnate of how she wasted her happy, full family years batting her mother’s helping hands away and insisting she could handle big girl things on her own.

18) What's one thing that instantly transports your muse back to their childhood? Why?

MAEVE — hearing a child being snapped at in a particular tone (most often by parents in the upper echelons of society) will, sadly, always send her back to being a little girl getting scolded by her mother. she can recognize later in life that she was being chastised for simply acting as an excitable child should, but falling back into those memories brings the shame of "disappointing" and "embarrassing" her mother back to the surface. 

MEREDITH — sometimes chatting with Delilah brings her back to their early teenage years, where they would trade gossip through whispers and giggle as they linked arms before gliding off to find a new source of information, or perhaps a private space to more openly discuss their findings. smth smth prime example of girlhood and she misses that innocent fun, wishes that it hadn't been taken by forces outside of her control. 

JORINA — counting her coin. whether it be checking what's on her person or what she'd been paid for recent scouting work, she'll sometimes flash back to the numerous nights she spent counting and recounting her limited household funds as if some extra money would magically appear and she'd be able to comfortably feed the family for the rest of the week.

[iheartsyaosaku]

Clear card pros and cons (that i can remember i need to reread it again)

Pros:

SYAOSAKU DATING ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

idk more content around our fave characters (though not as much but take it as you will)

The wierd ass technology update all of a sudden everyone has iphones (minus syaoran)

It picked up from the og ending where syaoran comes back from hong kong

SYAOSAKU DATING 🥹🥹🥹

SYAOSAKU WENT ON A DATE ‼️‼️

Unlocked sakura new swag (at the cost of ending her cardcaptor retirement…)

(Anime only) english dub actors of trc syaosaku voice ccscc syaosaku i thought that was pretty cool (syaoran sounds like maybe he went through puberty a little too early but thats okay)

(Anime only) SYAORAN SPEAKS FRENCH IN THE ENGLISH DUB

cute art style

Maybe just me but sometimes i get a little emotional seeing sakura in her daily life in middle school because its like !! Wow i remember when you were in 4th grade and now you’re in 7th grade im so proud of you sakura 🥹

Momo (new mascot to make marketable plushie off of)

(Anime only) MEILING COMEBACK ‼️

THE SYAOSAKU SONG HOSHI NO TEGAMI 😭😭😭😭😭 BEST SONG EVERRRR WTF SYAORANS SINGING VOICE IS SO!:?:)/$/? THEYRE SUCH A GOOD DUET

SYAOSAKU DATING. Btw. Theyre a couple. Theyre dating and theyre in love.

Cons:

KAITO.

New characters who happen to be mediocre

Akiho is literally just a carbon copy of sakura who is just sad (they refused to touch on the different aspects of her like reading books, singing and from kong kong only very rarely)

Kaito fucking sucks literally worst ccs of all time and THATS A LOT saying theres literal PEDOS in the fucking show but theyre all background characters but they can also piss off

Tbf i got confused along the way

Too many plot holes

Syaosaku angst

Syaosaku couldnt touch for a while 😔

Anyway why did yelan do that (referring to point above)

Some shit does not make sense

Tsubasa/xxxholic references (this is for you oomf)

Syaoran???? Is part of the “im keeping things from sakura” gang???? And it sucks so bad (yes it got resolved in the later half BUT IT STILL SUCKED)

TOO MANY THINGS KEPT FROM SAKURA JUST TELL HER DAMN

pushes most characters from the og manga aside to focus on akiho and that man 🙄🙄🙄

Clamp forces us to care about them but in reality we really do not gaf

(In reference to point above) Clamp sees that and pushes the nostalgia tactics/references sometimes and its lowkey tiring

The part where the syao/saku/tomo were reminiscing that fuck ass teacher made me ill i genuinely wanted to kms

Still hasnt gotten rid of their p*do ass shit thanks clamp very cool (sarcasm)

Did i mention that the og characters were pushed back? Because they really were

Akiho felt more of the main character of this story instead of sakura

Tbh not much happened in the entirety of this manga ESPECIALLY considering time shenanigans

Im still mad that syaoran hid stuff from sakura tbh

HOW CAN I FORGET THE UGLY ASS “YUNAAKI IS SIMILAR TO SYAOSAKU” PARALLELS AND HOW BADLY IT PISSES ME OFF

syaosaku dont look but theres an ugly bitch trying to be like you (yunaaki)

Yunaaki becoming borderline canon despite it being a toxic and p*dophilic ship

Kaito still exists in this fucking story and got a somewhat happy ending (befriending syaoran dont piss me the fuck off)

COMPARING KAITO TO SYAORAN KYS @ CLAMP

Kero/tomoyo/yue/nakuru/spinnel basically everyone magically involved is pushed back basically useless until the final act (i think i mentioned the character pushback before)

Still major plotholes

Yamazaki tells the truth now

Touya got whitewashed

Akiho still has too many similarities to sakura it still pisses me off. Why cant they make her her own character

My girl sakura developed anxiety

MY BOY SYAORAN DEVELOPED DEPRESSION

angsty ass middle schoolers

Didnt like the scene where sakuras grandad was basically throwing shade at syaoran comparing his romance with sakura to … sakura’s fuckass dad grooming her mom. What

Syaoran calmed down a bit i miss when he was chaotic af but whatever #middleschoolerthings

Season 2 is taking forever to release good lord

[whentherewerebicycles]

i got two really nice emails from faculty on the hiring committee this morning (the hiring manager just told them that i’d accepted) which made me so happy. aaaaaaaa i think i’m starting to finally transition out of the residual stress/anxiety stage behind and fully into the giddy happy butterflies stage. i feel like i could burst into tears of joy!! and i am gently hushing both my ‘there MUST be some catch’ and my ‘if a good thing happens, a BAD THING must be about to happen to balance it!’ inner voices, because sometimes a thing can just be good. i worked really hard and i got a really good outcome and i feel really grateful/happy/fortunate.

i’ve been thinking about that anxious ruminating a lot over the past few days, just trying to notice it as it’s happening. i feel like i’ve always had an tendency towards rumination but i do think it’s gotten markedly worse over the past nine months. as you might have gathered lol i’ve been pretty lowkey (and sometimes highkey) miserable and despairing about work, and i know i tend to get more depressed/anxious when i don’t have a clear sense of purpose or meaning in my life. i also think the social isolation of being fully remote in a job where i don’t have any work friends and in a new city where i don’t have an extended social circle has kinda fucked with my baseline mood. i’ve written a lot over the past nine months about not feeling like myself, and i think that’s just like, partly feeling like i’d lost my professional identity, but also partly just noticing that i feel a lot more fretful and discontent and prone to extended funks than i usually do. but i DO think it’s situational and i DO believe that i can/will bounce back to a self that feels more familiar once i change the big and small things in my environment that are fueling my unhappiness.

here are some things that are going to be REALLY good for me.

it’s going to be REALLY good for me to pursue values-aligned work that energizes and excites me. blah blah your work shouldn’t be your hobby or whatever but work kind of IS one of my hobbies and when i’m in a job i really love i spend every day thinking I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY PAY ME TO DO STUFF I WOULD JUST DO FOR FUN

it’s going to be REALLY good for me to get up, get ready right away, and go into campus most or all days a week. give me ROUTINE. give me a WORKPLACE that is separate from my home place. give me CAMPUS TIME!!!!!

it’s going to be REALLY good for me to talk to multiple people every single day. i need lots of alone time but i also NEED meaningful facetime with people and this job has just been brutal on that front

it’s going to be REALLY good (on a related note) for me to work with students again. i love working with students. it is so meaningful and good and energizing for me to work with students. i have missed it so so much.

it’s going to be REALLY good for me to be in a role that pushes me out of my comfort zone and forces me to stretch a bit. i haven’t even been coasting in this job... i’ve been totally stagnant. no growth, no challenge, no opportunities to stretch or learn. i’m gonna LEARN NEW THINGS again!!!!!!! i’m gonna feel so so so so so so so so so so much better!

it’s going to be REALLY good for me to have to budget! haha this seems silly and counterintuitive but honestly i think that making too much money is kind of bad for me! it makes it easier for me to live wastefully and be more thoughtless in my my choices/spending habits. i also feel like it was just so important to me to not get so used to being at this income level that i could never take a step back if i wanted to/needed to. i want to have enough money to live comfortably and to be able to afford thoughtfully chosen indulgences. but i don’t want to make obscene amounts of money for doing the most pointless work ever to the point where money is no object for me. idk dude! i want to value the money i make because i value the work did to earn it. and i want to value and appreciate the opportunity to make thoughtful choices about how/where to spend it.

it’s going to be REALLY good for me to be out of this job. god! i hope that three months from now my relationship with my lead seems like a weird disturbing fever dream i had lol. i cannot fucking WAIT to be out from under this woman’s thumb. and i can’t wait to apply everything i learned to NOT being like her in any of my managing roles in the future. phew!!!

[kindahoping4forever]

Hi Crystal!

Just looked through your blog to see if I had missed any thoughts you shared on the album, but instead I saw you said you didn't post anything bc no one asked. So I came here to ask ☺️

What song surprised you most? What's your current top 3? What line(s) keeps rotating in your head? What stood out to you most on first listen? (Feel free to ignore the questions if you'd like to just ramble about the album in general. I just want to know your thoughts haha)

What did you end up thinking of the iHeartradio set list? I was surprised they didn't play Bad Omens and that Complete Mess was actually the only new song they played.

They really did look hot. Especially Ashton. I feel like it's always especially Ashton lmao.

I really appreciate you both looking for and asking my opinion! (And sorry for the delay in answering, omg this week has been a lot both IRL and in 5SOS-land 🫠)

Current Top 3 would have to be: Caramel, Bad Omens and... Moodswings? Either Moodswings or Red Line. (I should do the song sorter to see how I really feel I guess 😌) I don't know if any particular song surprised me but I think in general, I was pleasantly surprised at how much their lyricism has continued to evolve. There's so much symbolism and truly poetic imagery in this album, while still maintaining an accessibility that doesn't distract from the sometimes painful honesty of what's being talked about.

Which was another surprise for me: they talked so much about wanting this album to feel lighter and brighter than CALM, how they purposely wrote in major chords and keys, how that's what the world "needs" - and they accomplished that, this album is energetic and a delight... but also contains some of their saddest lyrics to date. 😅 I'm definitely not complaining, sad girl hours all day everyday, I actually love that juxtaposition, but that was funny to me.

Another pleasant surprise (for me anyways lmao) is how Ash-heavy this album feels - and I don't just mean how rhythm heavy it is or the fact that he actually gets lead vocals (that would've been enough though 😍) and is so audible in the group vocals. One of the things I've always loved about 5SOS is at least to me, I feel like they each have distinct songwriting/melodic voices and tendencies and so it's often apparent whose artistry is driving a song. And so to me, I hear a lot of Ash melodies and I see his large fingerprints all over some of these lyrics. Which makes me both happy and sad because like I said, this album is lowkey depressing as fuck but you know what, the man knows how to make beautiful art out of that darkness so 😌

I don't know if I'm ready to say it's my favorite album or their best album yet (historically I usually say YB is the fav and CALM is their best, for the record) but I am definitely very happy and very proud of what was accomplished here! 👏🏻👏🏻

iHeartRadio thoughts under the cut!

I really really loved the iHeart set! I saw them at Wango Tango (another iHeart event) and while I will never complain about seeing them live, their set there was... puzzling to say the least. Only 5 songs total and the only new song they did was Me Myself & I, which was only a few weeks old and had not received the radio exposure that Complete Mess had (and also a bit too mid-tempo for the set IMO).

I think they definitely made strides to correct those issues in the iHeart set and it was a dream! At a radio/festival show, the goals should be crowd engagement (which is why I think they mostly stuck to their best known songs) and giving a performance so memorable, no matter how many artists play, you're the one people go home remembering. For that reason, Teeth should always be in their festival set, even if people don't know it (and it seemed like a surprising amount did!), it slaps so hard, it's gonna be a moment whether you're a fan or not. I think they should also consider making Complete Mess a staple in that kind of set, it's also a great live moment and I think gives a good example of what kind of band they'd like to be seen as in this era. And I will never get over the fact we got No Shame/Easier/More at a radio show, that's nuts. It's what we (and More) deserve. 10/10.

[lostmykeysie]

i finally got around to reading the latest chapter of the missing link and let me just say ahhhhh!!!! your prose always just hits the sweet spot in my brain and i love it <3 i told you i was going to harass you with my thoughts so prepare for them

there aren't many fics where i like remus's family but babes, your depiction of hope and lyall are top teir! hope is my new icon and i aspire to be her. and yes lyall lowkey sucked but he's coming around. sweet man.

my dear sweet remus :( this poor lad can't be happy, his letters are making me so sad... also i feel regulus on missing remus after a week of not seeing each other, so valid

james and reg awkwardly flirting is so dear to me because i love those idiots. and james just needing someone to fix, to help so he doesn't focus on his own issues :( but now he's roped his boyfriend best friends brother into "hanging out"

im already kicking and screaming about the upcoming jegulus scenes we're going to get <333 so excited for the next one!

i love hitting your brain sweet spot i consider it my greatest achievement !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay i think it's so clear i'm such a hope lupin stan but i am all for the lyall lupin working on himself too!!!! let the people learn from their mistakes and all, ya know? let the man play his silly little muggle puzzle games and drink reggie's cocktails!!!

because i've been hiding away in my horrid little corner i am PRAYING that we're finally feeling the happier remus vibes by now (chap 7) because you know what. we earned those. i love angsty depressing remus but oh my god lad. cheer up a bit please we need and deserve it xxxx i am really looking forward to giving TML the THH regus friendship banter vibes but with james and sirius too, like SO excited

i feel like JP is a pretty shit flirter like when he's going for it he's just a goof, and reg can deal with that he can wave that off like nobody's business. but i ALSO think JP is just so incredibly and accidentally sexy sometimes that it takes reg by surprise and it's these moments where ya boi gets FLUSTERED!!!! i love his whole awkwardly flirting back and forth with james and then realising they're flirting and then being like I MUST DASH i just. big fan of that

THE JEGULUS HAS BEGUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[emmythespacecowgirl]

Perfect!! Can I please request a male ship from The Pacific? <3 Thank you so much my love!! I couldn’t find your ship guidelines since you recently changed your blog url so I followed an outline from a previous blog who you sent a ship for! If I am missing any more info for the guidelines let me know and I will re-submit!

– your gender/pronouns: female she/her – your sexuality/gender preference: i’m bi but i have never openly dated a woman before! for gender preference: male, since we know so much about the male characters in the pacific anyway! – your main flaws and most defining traits: my whole life i’ve dealt with emotional dysregulation, depression/social anxiety, identity disturbance, school and keeping up with my loved ones. I also procrastinate too much, I don't have my drivers license LOL. I have ADHD and there’s a possibility that I could also have borderline personality disorder cos of childhood trauma and the things listed above. People know me for being kind, funny, sarcastic, creative in the visual arts and hardworking cos of my part-time job and i’m nearly graduating college in april [crosses fingers] and i want to be a commercial model with a bit of runway as well as getting into figure skating and ballet.– your hobbies and pastimes: grunge aesthetics, photography, I love fashion from the 40s’-now, but wearing fashion that is trending rn i prefer the 90s and a bit of y2k but that’s lowkey fading from my closet. I love to draw/paint, watch tv/film and youtube, play minecraft, daydream, write stories and read books and fanfic, listen to many genres of music mostly metalcore/punk or indie rock, 90s/00’s and today’s r&b, lofi etc. i can also speak a bit of french, tagalog/cebuano and brazilian portuguese. I would love to learn ASL one day.

– your appearance: between 5’6’’-5’7’’! I am Filipina so I have tanned fair skin. I have natural jet black-hair but my hair was bleached red at the end of the summer - it’s fading so it looks more copper. I have what they call an 'inverted triangle shape' so my body is kind of weird: skinny chicken legs with a bulky man-like torso?? I wear glasses but i wear contacts because i often wear a lot of 90s glam makeup or Euphoria-inspired makeup (graphic liner, glitter, rhinestones/Maddy perez or Jules Vaughn makeup sometimes)

– your personality type one quiz i took told me i was ENTP due to my creativity and another told me i’m INFP-T cos of my concern for my personal growth and cos i am stressed af (lol love quizzes calling me out)

– any pet peeves: pretentious people, mouth noises/chewing or kisses noises (misophonia triggers), people who say the word “pree-sent” and not “present” (like ‘present a class project’), too many tabs on a desktop, when people talk to me too much and i can’t keep up with them, ppl interrupting me

– your love language: gifts, words of affirmation and physical touch!

– your zodiac sign (or big three): Leo Sun, Taurus Moon and Cancer Rising!

– your Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw!

– your insecurities: socially, mentally and emotionally being behind on everything. Physically, I have body image issues cos of my body shape. I also hate my face shape and my nose?? A lot of people hate their noises. Also I hate being insecure about my height. I wish to be the ideal height for runway.

hey mk!! wow congrats on almost being done with college :)) that's super exciting!

I ship you with:

Bob Leckie from The Pacific!

ship theme song: I Could Make You Care - Frank Sinatra and the Tommy Dorsey Orchestra

wow

this man is completely smitten

like, i'm talking Love At First Sight

he sees you a couple days after he arrives back home from overseas

and since this is Leckie

you bet your ass that he's gonna go straight up to you and ask for your number

he's very excited for you to graduate college!!

he'll look over any english paper that you want him to

he'll even let you borrow his typewriter

the first time you speak French or Portuguese in front of him

his mind is totally blown

he thinks it's the most beautiful thing he's ever heard

Leckie is a very wordy, encyclopedia bitch kinda person

so he can definitely provide you with words of affirmation

Leckie comes with his own brand of emotional baggage

between his cold, distant relationship with his own parents

and seeing nearly all of his friends get injured in the war

he needs some time to find himself again

and he wants to do that with you by his side <3

as long as you provide him with consistency and a safe listening ear

he's yours for life

in return, he tries to get you to put into writing the things that you might find difficult to tell your loved ones and friends

he has plenty of books to choose from if you're in need of some bibliotherapy

he thinks you're incredibly beautiful

and different from the other girls he grew up with

and he loves that

he takes time every day to remind of how pretty you are

he'll just watch you in the mornings

he loves to observe you picking out just the right outfit to wear

and he's so intrigued by how effortlessly you apply your makeup

I think Leckie is either an ENFP or INFP

but either way, a pairing with an INFP or ENTP is very complimentary

Leckie definitely understands your need for focus and concentration

he's the same way when it comes to assignments and getting work done

he's not a big fan of people interrupting him

so he'll always call or text to make sure that you're not busy before coming over

I would bet that this lad is a pretty good gift giver too

he's naturally observant

so Leck probably gets you a new pair of ice skates

or a new record by one of your favorite bands for your birthday

if you get him anything having to do with writing

this boy will melt like chocolate

he offers to teach you how to drive

Leckie definitely gives me Ravenclaw vibes

but honestly: this man thinks the Sun rises and sets at your feet

and he makes it his missions to help you recognize just how beautiful and perfect you are

he will never let you forget that <3