#sometimes I just want to scream bc there’s so much emotion attached to them and when you know and understand.. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

golbrocklovely · 1 year ago

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I’ll get a lot of hate for this but..colby seems like a player (fuck boy) to me..i don’t know..the things he do to shea (makes her feel some type of way) then he push her away..the same happened with stas, he was so touchy with her and then pushed her away..i know she was in love with him 100% but that’s not a reason to push every girl from him away when this happens and he wonders why he is always alone? and there’s alot of girls he did that to. Yeah i know, not everyone wants a relationship but that guy cry that he doesn’t have a gf or something like that but fucks around with others. I like sam better in this perspective..tbh.. sometimes i don’t really understand colby..also their content and everyone is only for money rn..that’s how i see it. I remember in like 2016-2019 they were responding to alot of fans on ig etc etc..i feel like everyone is about money right now..

Btw thanks for reading that. Also it doesn’t mean hate on anyone but yk..

you are not the only person to have sent in an ask like this to me over the years. so, you're not the only one that feels this way.

that being said, i do not agree with you.

now, did colby in the past maybe fuck around with some girls? sure. he definitely had a bit of a player history. but, you also then have to believe that every girl he was around was someone he was hooking up with/had a relationship with in some way. and that's just not true. reality is, we don't know reality. what we are going off of is our assumptions. not every girl he was around at one point or another was a girl he was hooking up with. it's honestly kinda strange to assume that this man can't have a friendship with a woman without there being some weird connotation of "oh he actually wants her" or "she wants to get with him" or "he clearly wants to fuck her". not saying you're implying that, i'm just stating generally.

shea and him have a complicated thing that i don't think we will ever know the real, full story to. but at the end of the day, regardless of what you believe, they are both grown adults. if they wanted to have a relationship, they would have had one by now. shea is almost 30. she's is too grown to blame colby (if she really does that at all) for stringing her along. if he's promising you the world, but going out with other girls, he's a liar. you should have left a long time ago. but clearly either a) that's not happening or b) you are forcing yourself to believe something that isn't real. and that's your own fault, not his. that doesn't excuse his possible stringing along-ness, but he can't do that to you if you already left 🤷🏻‍♀️

and as for stas… he never treated her more than in a friendly way. sorry if you disagree, but i saw not one single thing that pointed to them having anything more than maybe a slightly flirty/touchy friendship. the reason why she got so hurt over it was bc she had feelings for him, he didn't reciprocate, and bc she thought she could make him like her, she stuck around in her fantasy too long. that man literally brought along a date to hang out with her and other friends. what about that screams "oh he's into me, he just doesn't know how to express it"????? that man made it clear as day what his feelings were, she just didn't listen.

none of this even takes into account that both girls have used colby for YEARS to gain followers, clout, and to make money off of his fans that become theirs. like…. that's it's own can of worms.

and he has EVERY. RIGHT. to reject girls that love him too much bc if he's not into them, why should he pretend to be??? you literally are saying he's a fuckboy for stringing them along, but then complain that he shouldn't say he's lonely bc "he pushes them away". so… is he supposed to pretend to like them and string them along, or cut them loose but still get blamed for being lonely?? which one is it?

he's allowed to have standards or not just settle with the first girl that shows emotional attachment to him. that's not how love works. and on top of that, he's allowed to complain about wanting someone to love but not having someone even tho he has plenty of suitors. reality is, colby has outwardly said for a very long time that he hasn't met someone he wants to spend the rest of his life with. he has made that clear as day for YEARS now. and also for years he has said he hasn't been in a serious relationship since 2016. if this is what he says publicly to fans, i can only imagine he lays it out thicker privately. that would also mean that any girl he has been with was never serious in the first place. aka, there were no feelings attached. so when things ended, it's not a breakup. it's just two ppl who were casually seeing each other leaving and finding someone else. that doesn't negate that he probably had used a girl from time to time for emotional support or whatever. i'm not saying that's not true. but the fact of the matter is, there has been ONE GIRL that i can name that has outright had an issue with colby after "breaking up" with him. and collectively, out of the many everyone assumes he's been with, that kinda shows that maybe he is telling the truth to these girls about what he wants. bc if he was burning bridges left and right, he would have been up in flames by now.

and sam literally just got out of a relationship where he strung kat along for years, mentioning talks of getting married, how his last name sounds good with her first, only to turn around and get cold feet when the ultimatum came. not to mention the vampire situation (him purposefully keeping her out of the editing room while he was working and all she wanted to do was hang out), him not even giving her a key to his house in la even tho she was over every single day, him now currently mentioning how he didn't really hang out with her all that much the last year of their relationship and how he could have been better, him not sharing his calendar with her so she would never know when he was leaving or going, him literally telling fans in emails how so much better he's doing now that he's not in a relationship with her anymore, her literally getting death threats by HIS FANS and he says literally nothing about it…. need i go on? he's not exactly star bf of the year either.

and as for the whole thing of "they only do things for money now"…. that's kinda always been the case. this is their job. they need to do things for money to survive. not to mention, they have grown exponentially since that time period of 2016-19. just based on subs alone, and nothing else, they have the combined population of nyc and philly. that's how many eyes are on them at any given point. obviously there is some overlap between different social media sites, but they have 10 mil+ eyes on them, which means 10 mil+ ppl trying to get their attention at any given point. they can't talk to everyone like they used to. when they were at one mil or two, sure. talking to ppl wasn't too hard, but now it's basically impossible. and on top of that they are busy so they don't have time to interact like they once did. it sucks, but that's just the truth.

i get why you felt the need to say all of this, and even tho i don't agree with you, i'm not trying to be hateful or mean. i'm just stating how i feel to your ask. please don't take any of this personally. i don't think you're dumb for the opinion you have, even if it's different from mine. we are allowed to have differing opinions, and we can just agree to disagree.

#ask #personal #cb ll #sg ll

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the-paris-of-people · 2 years ago

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8,12, and 17 for the nhie ask game 💕

8. What is your most unpopular opinion?

Oh boy, I have a lot.

Honestly my most unpopular opinion right now is that I don't think it would make sense for Manish and Kamala to get married at the end of nhie s4, and also I would be 100% fine with them splitting. I love Manish and Kamala individually a lot, but I'm not particuarly attached to them as a couple, and maybe it's just me projecting onto the characters, but Kamala's hesitancy to get married anytime soon/valuing her independence and agency is a journey I love and have taken and would love if the show focused more on that in the last leg rather than her and Manish's relationship, and I don't care if that occurs with or without him. I wouldn't mind if she and Manish ended up together though, as long as it was conducive to Kamala's journey.

My second unpopular opinion is that I'm a liiiiiiiiiiittle excited to see Ben and Margot date? Don't get me wrong, I 100% would prefer if Ben and Devi dated the entire season 4 (I stg if they don't have them interact until the last couple episodes I will scream) but I would like Ben to have a Des type experience where he gains confidence and realizes he's not this dick he makes himself out to be. Also I'm toxic and I want jealous Devi. Okay?? Selfishly, I just want her pining. But only for 3-4 episodes then they need to get it together.

12. What season has been your favorite so far?

UGH DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE!!! This was so hard because s1 had the most airtight plot and the experience of watching Devi as a protagonist was so special to to me, s2 was when I first started seeing the FULL POTENTIAL of Benvi and gave me some cxgf vibes, and s3 was when all the characters had the most amazing arcs, Nalini and Devi became closer, and we got that epic romcom finale so I'll have to choose s3. That was so hard though!

17. Anything you want to rant about? (Aka more unpopular opinions)

This is more fandom related, but I wish more people wrote adult Benvi! There are so many fics of them from when they were teens and younger and while I like that I would love more fics of them grown-up and happy! Also very few people can write Ben and Devi well, I feel like sometimes they're just general fics with their names in there and I wish there were more highly character specific fics.

Another unpopular opinion but I think Ben's episode in s3 was my least favorite s3 episode. I absolutely loved his s1 episode about his home life and I really liked the message of the s3 episode and his interactions with Devi and Paxton but I find Ben's internal monologue about pressure not as fun or interesting to watch as Devi's shenanigans. Honestly, now that I am writing it, I think it's bc the episode was about school that's why I didn't care as much LOL. I also am not the biggest fan of the redemption arc for his dad- like it annoys me that Ben needed that external validation to have the stress lifted off his shoulders when Howard has been a shitty parent. Not that it's not realistic but it was annoying.

I personally don't believe that Ben was in love with Devi or vice versa before that moment in the principal's office that piqued his interest in episode 2, just because I think love is a very deep emotion and I like the idea of them falling in love as they got to know each other than I like the idea of them being in love (whatever that means to you as a kid) and realizing it suddenly.

Not unpopular, but we need to have a discussion about how Devi has heart eyes tm jealousy tm love tm for Ben, and how the rest of the love interests serve to strengthen their relationship which I honestly kind of love. Essentially, there's not enough Devi loves Ben discussion on here so I need to see it. Going into my next point, Devi NEEDS to tell Ben how she feels. I need her to tell Ben when they're both finally single that she wants to be with him the last couple months they have of college, I need her to make a big dramatic love confession, I need her to explain her feelings and why she dated other people instead of him and how she wanted to date him. Like I need her leading the charge on all of this (and I'm 99% sure she will)

#yikes these unpopular opinions might get me canceled #ask #answered #never have i ever #benvi

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lizzielikeborden · 3 years ago

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Fever Dream

Request: No, I literally just listened to the song

Author’s Note: I don’t know when all of these are gonna upload bc tumblr is really tryna make me throw my laptop in a pool.

Summary: How it feels to love Rafe Cameron hurts but in the best way.

Warnings: TOXICITY, violence, mental issues, and some angsty fluff

Based on the song "Fever Dream by Jillian Rossi

And you’re so bad for me, but I want your love every morning

Breaking up with Rafe was much harder than any normal breakup. The two of you two were absolutely attached to each other in the most poisonous way. On the outside there were so many things that looked absolutely normal. The hugs, the kisses, the laughs, the cute pictures. The most picture perfect two people anyone could look at. But, it wasn’t like that at all, the extreme arguments, Rafe’s anger issues mixed with manipulative behavior, and worse of all his bad choices that he felt were your mess to clean up. There was no saying no to him, he got what he wanted, what he needed no matter what.

“Hey are you okay?” Chris, the new boy you had gotten with directly after Rafe put a hand on your shoulder. You had been spacing out the window for much too long.

“Huh? Yeah I’m fine just looking at the sky.” You lied and nodded your head as if you had to also believe what you had just said.

“Alright well it’s still early, come lay back down.” He moved his hand from your shoulder, down your arm, and put your hand in his.

You didn’t grip his hand tightly but gently put pressure down as he guided you back to bed. Robotically, you got in and put your side of the covers over yourself, rolling over to not face Chris.

Waking up with him, but I wish you’d call me

You were not able to sleep, and it had been like that since you texted Rafe, not able to face him, and without an explanation you broke up with him. You felt terrible to do it, but decided that it had to be done. In your head you thought it wouldn’t affect you, that you’d be able to move on easy. And for the first few days it was, you were full of energy and happy, that’s where Chris came from. But laying there without Rafe you would’ve rather been sleepless with him screaming and going through every emotion in front of you than this.

Turning on your phone you turned your brightness not wanting to wake Chris as you heard his soft snores lay next to you. You hadn’t been on your phone in so long, it was like it didn’t matter anymore. It could’ve been smashed or thrown in the ocean and it wouldn’t have mattered. The moment you opened it you were ready to cry. Your backscreen was still you and Rafe.

60 Missed Calls from Wards Least Favorite❤️

You typed in your password, Rafe’s birthday and went into the call log. Almost every call had a voicemail. Reaching over to the nightstand, you got your earbuds and put them in. The first few were incredibly mean, he was spewing curse words and called you every single name in the book. He also blamed you for every future poor choice he would ever make, but then told you that he didn’t care and that you had no impact on his life whatsoever. But the last one was the one that got you,

“Hey, look, i’m sorry. An-and I know i’ve said that probably over a hundred times. I know you’ve given me every single chance to fix things and those only last for a short period of time before I go and fuck up again. But, I really do wanna be better and I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t figure it out and no one but you has ever given a shit. Please call me back, please. At least let me know you’re safe and alive. I’ve never seen you go so MIA before. I talked to all your friends who would answer me and they haven’t heard from you since you texted me that either. I know you don’t think I do and I know for a fact sometimes I didn’t. But I love you and I couldn’t accept that. I know that now, and I miss you more than I thought I could miss anything. I’d do anything for you. I-I’m gonna h-hang up now. I love you.” Rafe’s voice went in and out of being stable, he had went from just crying to crying all over again. Clearly he was unstable, I mean he always had been but now it was because of you. Tears fell down your cheeks, quickly you got up out of bed and locked yourself in the bathroom. Standing in front of the sink with a mirror attached you silently screamed and sobbed unable to contain the feelings.

I still miss our extremes like, you ‘come over’ texts at midnight

A sound like an alarm was going off directly next to your head. When it stopped you rolled over with a groan checking your phone. It was a Saturday so it made no sense that an alarm would be ringing, that’s when you saw 4 texts from Rafe and 6 missed calls.

Are you asleep - Wards Least Favorite❤️, 11:56 PM

Hey come over - Wards Least Favorite❤️, 11:58 PM

Hello wake up I want you over here- Wards Least Favorite❤️, 12:01 AM

Taking a deep breath in you knew that if you didn’t go over there he was gonna be pissed at your door either that same night or the next morning super early. Slipping out of bed and turning on the main light to your room you found a shirt of his, you already had some shorts on so you stuck with those, got some socks that did not match at all, and got some shoes on. Grabbing your phone off your bed you didn’t even worry about a charger or anything that you’d usually bring with you. You had a hair tie on your wrist that you had forgotten to take off the night before. Leaving your room and getting in your car you were still half asleep, luckily the roads were completely empty and Rafe only lived 15 minutes away.

Once you pulled into the driveway and parked behind Rafe’s car in your designated spot you walked up to the door, the door busted open.

“That took you forever.” Rafe raised his voice with you.

“I’m sorry, I was sleeping.” He grabbed your arm and pulled you up the stairs into his room silently.

“I didn’t ask if you were sleeping I asked you to come over here.” He shut his door with both of you inside.

You didn’t answer him, silently he stepped closer to you and pulled you close to his chest, wrapping his arms around, resting his head on top of yours. His grip got tight and his loosened one arm to press your head even closer to him. You stood like that for quite some time as he swayed the two of you, you were almost asleep when he pulled back.

“Let’s go to bed.” He walked away from you, leaving you facing the door.

You turned around and got in his bed with him, and then he started going on about his day. Some guy had cut him off when he was driving and then that same guy showed up at the same restaurant he was eating at. Then Rafe proceeded to confront him and he pretended not know what happened. He continued on about his day. And you gave him short responses back trying to stay awake and he held you and ranted on and on. You weren’t getting any sleep that night. But at least he was getting out his emotions and not directing them at you. That time.

Rolling out of bed for your lies

“Get. Up.” Rafe was shaking you violently, his tight grip on your arm was just getting more and more tight.

Without a word you sat up and automatically got out of bed confused as to what was happening that required you to be awake at 5:00 AM. Your eyes moved from his alarm clock to his figure pacing and yanking at his hair. Suddenly you were more awake, like the sun had just risen even though it was pitch black outside. Fear struck you the faster he started to pace, you didn’t dare move, if he was a car you would’ve already been hit.

“SO YOU’RE JUST GONNA STAND THERE AND LET ME FALL APART!” He turned toward you, pupils the size of saucers.

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you shakily began to step toward him as quickly as your body would let you. Your breath was completely gone as your heart quickened. He was on drugs, he was out of it completely out of it. There was no telling what he was gonna do. But you knew that if you didn’t do something this wasn’t gonna go well. So you just stood in front of him as stopped pacing and grabbed his hand. The fear inside of you was ready to make you pass out as he squeezed your hand tighter. You didn’t dare close your eyes.

“ARE YOU GONNA SAY ANYTHING OR JUST LET ME STAY IN MY OWN HEAD?” His grip on your hand became so tight he could easily break a finger.

“I-I love you.” Your voice went from a whisper to normal knowing that if you just whispered he would’ve screamed again.

He released your hand and pushed you out of his path of pacing,

“No you don’t, no one does.” He hit the wall and dust flew in the air as the wall concaved in where his fist was. “You’re one of the many reasons that i’m like this.” He spoke at a normal volume with harsh words.

“Rafe, y-you y-you’re just out of your h-head. Whatever you took has you m-messed up.” You took quick strides backwards toward the bed.

“REALLY? YOU’RE GONNA TELL ME I TOOK SOMETHING. I’M NOT HIGH!” He lied right to your face in pure anger.

This was nothing new, he would never admit what he did. He took strides toward the bed right to where you stood, he grabbed your face and made you look at him. He was so close your noses were touching.

“DO I LOOK HIGH TO YOU?” He screamed directly in your face, and that time you did shut your eyes, his grip of your face was too tight but he felt you jerk back.

Before you could answer him he crashed his lips against yours, not letting his grip change on your upper jaw. Carefully you placed your hands gently on his face. When he released your face you quickly dropped your hands.

“See, i’m not on drugs.” He stroked your cheek gently.

Putting glitter on my blind eyes

Midsummers was gonna be fun, you and Rafe had been getting along a lot better. After his last explosion on drugs you left him alone for days and told him that he had to clean up. Ever since he had stopped doing drugs he was still not mentally stable but he wasn’t as impulsive and physically aggressive. You were in his bathroom finishing your makeup when you heard a knock on the door frame.

“Yes?” You didn’t turn your head as you were doing eye makeup and didn’t wanna stab yourself in the eye.

“You look beautiful sweetheart.” Rafe came up behind you and wrapped his arms around you once you had raised from your bent over position.

“Thank you,” He turned you around and kissed your lips, “sorry it took some extra time, Wheezie needed some help fixing the back of her hair and evening out her eye makeup.”

“You’re all good.” He spun you back to face the mirror, “Smile.”

You stepped back and pressed against him as he pulled out his phone and took a mirror picture of the two of you. Directly after he took it he sent it to you, knowing that you’d want it.

“Thank you, now cmon we gotta go get in position.” You grabbed his hand and you led him down the stairs to where the two of you were supposed to be.

“Ah just in time. You look beautiful Y/n” Ward spoke to you as he fixed the cuffs on his sleeves.

“Thank you Mr. Cameron.” You smiled at him as he locked arms with Rosie.

“Now you know you’re a part of this family, call me Ward.” He turned around and winked at you.

You just smiled and gave him a nod, locking arms with Rafe. Behind you were Wheezie and Sarah doing the same thing. As all of you made your way down the stairs of the house everyone clapped and the party commenced. For the most part Rafe stayed glued to you. The two of you talked to his friends, danced, took pictures, ate, and then took some more pictures. Another slow song was turning on and you noticed Wheezie sitting by herself on her phone.

“Hey if you don’t mind it looks like your sister needs a dance.” You looked at Rafe where you stood as his friends approached him.

“Go for it, i’ll just be with them when you’re done.” You kissed him on the cheek and walked over to Wheezie.

“Hey,” You extended your hand to her and bowed, “would you like to dance beautiful?”

“Yes!” She laughed and took your hand.

The two of you swayed and lip synched to the words. Past her head you saw Ward smiling at the two of you. You stepped back keeping her hand in yours and spun her around, pulling her back to you she was smiling ear to ear. Once the song was over you kissed the top of her hand and thanked her for the dance. She then ran over to her dad and Rose to tell them all about it as if they weren’t watching which was your que to find Rafe.

You looked to where they were standing 3 minutes ago and they were no where to be found, you went on the deck, looked in the parking area, the tables, and then you quietly stepped inside. There was Rafe snorting coke off his fathers expensive table with Topper and Kelce standing there encouraging his behavior. Anger and sadness became a ying and yang as you stepped out and slammed the door behind you. Instead of confronting him you found Sarah and decided to dance with her, then Wheezie ran over and joined you.

About an hour later Rafe came out of the house, you pretended not to see him and continued talking to his sisters. He walked straight for the three of you, you could feel his eyes on you.

“Well hello.” Sarah spoke sarcastically and rolled her eyes taking another sip of her drink.

“Oh shut the fuck up Sarah, I didn’t come over here for you, the party wrapping up, I came over here for Y/n.” He made his way behind you and put his hands on your shoulders.

“Rude.” She got up and took Wheezie with her, she could see that he was on drugs.

He took Wheezie’s seat and sat really close to you.

“So what were you up to?” You laid your head on his shoulder.

“I was just talking to my friends. God. Do you always think i’m doing something bad.” He sounded angry but let you stay on his shoulder.

“No, I was just curious honey.” You lied and held his hand. He was supposed to be clean. He was doing so well. You pretended like this didn’t happen every time you told him he had to clean up.

Loving you wasn’t as it seemed, finding good in bad and ugly

“HOW IS THIS MY FAULT!” Rafe screamed, he wasn’t high but he was angry.

“Had you not disappeared for hours we wouldn’t be late! You don’t like when your dad yells at you but yet you do shit like this knowing damn well he’s gonna hate us being late.” You raised your voice, but nothing like him.

“He doesn’t run my life! Neither do you! It’s none of your business where I was or what I was getting. Now you are making me more late by standing here and screaming at me!” He lowered his voice to yours.

“Fine, then lets leave.” You pointed and the door and then slammed your arm down walking out.

The second you were outside the door he grabbed your wrist,

“Say you’re sorry, and don’t you dare speak to me like that.” He yanked you closer to his body.

You yanked your wrist out of his grip and ran down the stairs and into his car. He was soon to follow and slammed his door, he didn’t buckle his seat belt, and sped out of the driveway into the road. The ride to the beach was dead silent.

“There you two are.” Rose had her hands on her hips and glared at the two of you.

“Yeah here we are, where’s dad?” He shot back with attitude clearly not caring that she was upset at the fact that you were 20 minutes late.

“He’s over there on the picnic blanket and he’s not too happy about this either.” She gave Rafe a mean look and pointed at Ward.

He grabbed your hand gently and lead the two of you over to the Cameron’s picnic spot on the beach. Ward was paying no attention as Wheezie was talking to him, and neither did Rafe as he interupted her,

“Hey dad we’re here.” He sat down across from his dad and you sat next to him closest to Wheezie.

“I see that, I told you what time to get here so that you would show up on time. Not so you could be late.” He was looking directly at his son not once glancing at you.

Before Rafe could start an argument with him you spoke, “I’m sorry we were late, I lost my phone in his room.” He still didn’t take his eyes off of his son,

“Y/n, you don’t have to cover for him, i’ve known you long enough to know that you are punctual and don’t forget what time to be places let alone lose your phone. And even if that were the case, Rafe knows his own room, he could’ve been helpful and found it.” Rafe took in a deep breath clenching his jaw.

“Sorry dad, I left the house and left her there, I didn’t get back until we were already late.” He locked eyes with his father who’s expression didn’t change.

“I’m aware it was your fault Rafe, you’re lucky to have Y/n at least she puts up with your shit.” He finally looked away from his son and took a drink out of his wine glass. After that he got up and waved Rafe to come with him.

“Yknow you two are perfect.” Wheezie looked at you smiling.

“ I wouldn’t say that.” You turned to her.

“I would. Rafe is a lot to handle and you do so well. You make him laugh and smile, plus you’re cute together. I can tell that no matter what the two of you are gonna make it.” She grabbed some snacks out of the basket in front of the two of you.

You just smiled at her. Maybe she saw something that you didn’t, maybe all of the craziness and all of the big issues were worth staying through. You were cute together and you had some really wonderful moments together. Maybe all of the pain was worth those few moments. Everyone always told you how wonderful the two of you were together and how happy you looked together. You were the only one who saw anything else. So then you must’ve been wrong.

Loving you was a fever dream

A knock on the door made your mind stop finding reasons to cry. Your face was beet red, eyes were swollen, and your cheeks were stained with water marks. Taking three deep breaths you spoke,

“Yeah?” You said loudly pretending you hadn’t been crying.

No one answered there was just another few knocks, then you looked around and realized you had left your phone on the bed. Unlocked. Chris had to have gone through it or at least seen what you were listening to. Shit. You thought to yourself as you splashed cold water on your face Drying off with one of the towels that were under the sink in the open shelves. You opened the door and your eyes got huge, taking in a deep breath you shook your head thinking you weren’t seeing what you thought you were.

“Your ex-boyfriend called me.” Rafe stood on the other side of the floor that cut off the bedroom to the bathroom. He left you enough room to shut the door on him. His eyes were also swollen, but his pupils were a normal size, he looked so tired and pale.

You had no response but removed your hand from the door knob. Placing your hands to your sides you took in a deep breath, Rafe was real, he was standing right in front of you but it all felt like a dream. You knew Chris had left and was no where around. This was it, you knew you were gonna forgive him. That he was gonna go to speak again and you’d just run into his arms and then after the two of you went on and on about your feelings you’d have another long talk about him needing to fix himself and that you’d do anything to help and then you’d be fully made up and back together. But maybe this time everything would be different...

#rafe cameron #rafe x reader #rafe imagine #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron imagine

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ame-perduexx · 4 years ago

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Random Astro Observations <3

(ughhhh this one took so long again - take what you want, leave what you want:D )

Cancer Venus (males specifically) love giving gifts!! and hugs!! type to just lay on top of you bc they like the pressure hehe

Scorpio Risings do be having that piercing eye-contact!! and a lot of ones who have blue eyes I’ve noticed have a lot of multi-colors in there! like green,brown,hazel all wrapped up in the blue

Taurus Venus’ become attached v v v quickly in relationships, physical touch is definitely one of their big love languages, and sometimes their identity is tied to the person they are with, and they don’t particularly see/find a problem with this

Capricorn Suns are literally some of the funniest people I’ve ever met. they all have contagious laughter. ppl like to make them out to be this responsible party killers but in my experience these are some of the biggest “party animals” - when a Capricorn lets loose its fucking amazing

Capricorn Moons are....strange with their emotions....my personal experience is that they don’t necessarily withhold their emotional responses but more of manipulates them into getting certain things from people.....

Aries Moons are the ones to have tantrums. hate to say it but you guys really be getting ANGRY one second, have a lil scream & cry sesh, and then 5 mins later all is forgotten and they’re giggling at YouTube videos

you can always tell who a Cancer Rising is...especially in females.....they also are some of the most pure-hearted ppl ever - nice just for nice’s sake!

Pisces moons are 10xxxxx more emotional than Cancer moons but Cancer moons are 10xxxxx more emotional than Cancer suns

lmaoooo Libra suns talk so much shit behind peoples back and then will treat them like royalty the next min.

Taurus Sun females I unfortunately really do notice get into a lot of physical/emotional/mental abusive relationships - ones that literally end up pushing friends/family away to remain in the toxic situation

Gemini moons really struggle with vocalizing their emotional needs/desires -they will literally talk about anything in the world except how they are ACTUALLY feeling

Leo rising (females specifically) are sexualized at a very young age and will most likely struggle a lot with men viewing them solely as sex objects

seriously....every virgo (male or female) I’ve met are insanely different from each other

Scorpio moons (my fellow babies <3) will most likely struggle with their relationship with their mother!! like insane amounts of miscommunication and the mother was probably emotionally unavailable!! also physical touch is very *meaningful and at times v overwhelming

Aquarius moons have no idea what they really want. I truly think their deepest desires are other-worldly - in the sense that it’s hard for them to find what they want from another person bc their desires can’t necessarily be found “on this earth”

Sag suns almost always study abroad, work abroad, or travel a lot abroad in life

****That’s it I tried to include an array of signs and placements but you know how it be!! Cheers <333

#aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #Sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #astro notes #astro observations #zodiac #signs #venus #sun #moon #rising

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petewentzssilkpress · 3 years ago

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So i finished the liveship traders a few hours ago and i have Thoughts and Feelings.

-im so????? emotional?????? i feel wrung out. i was so invested in the lives of these characters and the speed with which i read the books combined with how emotionally weighty some of the content of the books has left me feeling so many emotions and i cant name half of them.

-i didnt expect to enjoy this series as much as i did. i practically flew through the last book (read it all in roughly 2 days) and i think thats the fastest ive ever read a book that length.

-Althea Vestrit my darling, my baby, my honeybunch, my sugarplum. How i adore you.

-She went through so much :( And despite it all she kept that daring spirit.

-actually i think all my favourite things about althea are the thing that keffria hates about her lmao

-kennit. fucking kennit. i was actually kind of attached to that bastard right up until you-know-what happened. yes i know he was manipulative but at that his motives were still kinda understandable and even forgivable given the trauma and whatnot. he was actually doing some good with destroying the slavers and freeing the tattooed (even though his real intentions were selfish). But what he did to althea was fucking disgusting and honestly i think he deserved a worse ending than the one he got.

-like seriously. you had a perfectly good sympathetic villian. whyd you have to go and make him irredeemable.

-wintrow and paragon not caring that kennit is a literal rapist is actually so realistic bc men fr be defending their rapist friends like that irl too.

-on the subject of villains, kyle haven got off too easy as well because this whole thing is his fault if you ask me. wintrow, althea, ronica, and keffria should have all gotten the chance to beat the shit out of him.

-at first i thought etta was wayyy too clingy and weird but she grew on me (thanks to her expanding her world past kennit's existence). i actually really hope to see her in the rest of the books, and i really wanna see how shes adapted to being queen.

-i love the vestrit women and how they were written. aside from my boundless love for althea, i have mad respect for ronica and i enjoyed seeing malta's character development. at first i thought keffria was too much of a prim and proper tradwife but when shit hit the fan and she had to stand up and be strong even she became tolerable.

- i went from wanting to throttle malta to her becoming my little princess. i just wish she didnt have to go through so much shit to become better :( she was too young to act the way she did before but she was also too young to go through the things she did when she got lost in the rain wilds

-malta should have gotten the opportunity to slap cosgo silly at least once

-im so conflicted by reyn and malta's relationship bc on one hand they are SO cute together but on the other hand im not really feeling that age gap :/ the story would have lost absolutely nothing by making reyn closer to her age.

-MISS AMBER❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

-i know who she really is and im just so interested to find out whats going on there cause why the masquerade??? theres a whole other layer added to it when i think about all the talk about the Fool's gender in the farseer trilogy

-amber is so different from the fool that it took me way longer than it should have to realize that they were the same person. At one point i suspected she was his sister LMAOOO. but sometimes she'd say something or do something and i couldnt help but feel so happy in my heart bc thats my fool!!!!! <3

-FITZ IS HER TRUE LOVE 😭😭😭😭 SCREAMING AND CRYING

-paragon asking her to give him a face she could love and she just. without hesitation. gives him fitz's. down to the damn earring. down to the broken freaking nose. help.

-i love her relationship with paragon 🥺

-grag>>>>>>>brashen. i liked brash as a character and id most definitely let him hit but theres something about tenira that just #DoesIt for me. hope althea's happy though

-i love this book series.

-even though i know that im likely to see many of these characters again in the later books i still miss them :(

-time to read tawny man!!!

#shut up kayla #kayla reads rote #rote #rote spoilers #realm of the elderlings #brashen trell #robin hobb #the liveship traders #ship of magic #the mad ship #ship of destiny #althea vestrit #kennit ludluck #paragon ludluck #bookblr #reading #book review

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aithusarosekiller · 3 years ago

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So you rated Evan in fics, but can we see a similar review for Barty?

Btw, hope you’re okay with the covid :)

YES

(And I'm not brilliant but I'm not dead so that's good haha)

Gonna do the same fics as the Ev one bc I'm fucking lazy

Again it isn't on how well developed they are, it's how much I love them blah blah blah

1) Choices. I'm sorry, he's funny and loyal to his friends and everything but like...you can see how he's difficult to like after what he did sooo...if he hadn't done that, maybe he would be a little bit higher because he's kinda fun as a character to read. He's also gonna be one of the only characters who doesn't die so that gets some extra girlboss points. His character was done really well but you can see where I'm coming from.

2) Carpe Noctem. I do love him, I do...but I know he's not been perfect and he has definitely done something in the past, probably to do with Sirius, I have ideas but that does have to take away some loml points.

3) Larded With Sweet Flowers. Yes, I am rating my own characterisation in the lower half but I still love the version I wrote, he's just a little bit too much of a dumb himbo sometimes and I am not going back and changing it because I love that for him but sometimes I write something he is saying or thinking and just want to drown him. He is very indecisive and as much as I love him...A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH IS NOT AN INCONVENIENCE! I do love him though. He's a stupid bitch but he's my stupid bitch.

4) The Filth. Mmm, we're getting into proper 'canon could never' area now. This vers is very <3 he's just a horny little bastard and I love that for him. He deserves the world. And all those dicks he's lusting after for 15k words, of course. I love him <333

5) Tell Me Pretty Lies. This was almost number 6 because I can't decide and 5 seems too low for the both of them so I forced myself to pick one over the other and almost screamed doing so. Anyway, I adore him so much. Protective friend and boyfriend? Perfect. The whole 'I love you but you were a bitch <3' thing was perfect. Just...I love him so much, I can't actually describe it. He also has excellent taste in potential sexual and romantic partners so like...that makes it even better. Love a man with taste.

6) Drugs And Surgical Scrubs. What do you mean you can't marry a fictional character? Okay, I've already said this was almost a tie but I had to pick this Bar because he has that 'loveable bitch you can't get rid of' energy and I live for that. I eat that the fuck up. He's like that one mother in the back of a primary school production that will just stand up and give an aggressive thumb-up whenever their child says a line or walks on stage but will then snap at other parents who d the same thing for 'getting in their way'. That is what he reminds me of and I love it.

7) When You Were Mine. I DON'T KNOW EITHER, WE BARELY SEE THE POOR GUY BUT I STILL LOVE HIM OKAY?! It's the way he's just so nice and he genuinely cares and I just AAA, I have an emotional attachment for no reason. He's just so sweet I can't function. There's something about him I just love and I don't know how to word it.

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fonulyn · 3 years ago

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So I'm reading this sad Chreon story - as one does (it's me, I'm one) - and I just had the weirdest epiphany? Like, I dunno, it's probably dumb and far from a hot take or some eye opening character analysis no one has done before but I noticed that people (including myself, so like not saying this in any kind of bad way) tend to write Leon as stand offish, apathetic, and cold. Like this story stated it specifically, said something along the lines of "this is what Leon gets for cultivating a reputation for being unapproachable, apathetic, and indifferent" and the insinuation there is that he's done this on purpose, put on this front to seem unaffected by things when in the presence of others, and I think it's pretty true for his character. Like anything post RE2, Leon is kind of. I dunno, I wanna say deadpan? He seems to express v little emotion, and when he does it's usually in the form of a quip, one-liner, or snarky come back. Sometimes awkward small talk lol. But it feels like he's built this wall, this persona around himself, not just to protect himself from losing more people (bc he probably sees it as some kind of inevitability, and with his track record I certainly wouldn't blame him), but to protect people from him. This poor man has spent so long fighting, trying to save people, and even tho he saves the day in the end, so many people get lost in the process, and Leon feels every single loss personally. Right off the bat we see it every time someone dies in RE2, then again in RE4 with Luis, who he knew for a short period of time and yet mourned so heavily for, and even Krauser to an extent. Leon is someone who is quick to trust, even as he gets older, and we see that in RE Vendetta, too. Like that's probably one of the big reasons he's so devastated after losing his team. Not only was he entrusted with a group (which doesn't happen often, as far as we have seen), but he probably put his trust in them as well, including Petrucio, the man who betrayed them. I just think Leon is such a complex character who hides so much of himself (which is convenient for bad writers at Capcom who can't write good dialogue to save their lives lmao, but I also think it's a decent part of his character now), probably so what happened in RE2 doesn't happen again. Bc that shit was probably so traumatizing, and Leon was still a baby! I'm only a year older then he was at the time of RE2 but like, as humans our brains don't finish growing until age 25, so that kind of trauma at that age is for sure gonna stick with you, and it seems he picked up some unhealthy coping mechanisms from it that's more than just his drinking problem. Anyways I guess I just wanted to rant about how Leon is the most "emotionless" character in RE but in reality he feels and cares so much, so much so that if he doesn't put up that mask of indifference then he'll destroy himself. This man would die so that others could live, he's saved the world multiple times without a care for himself past the need to finish his mission and keep as many people as possible safe. He's such a tragic character and I love him so goddamn much, like he's one of those characters who you aspire to be like, in a way. Selfless, capable, dependable, reliable, smart, passionate, caring. And some of this might be my own character building I've done based off of other headcanons and character analysis posts and stories I've seen, but I do think we see a lot of this in the canon content, too. I just really love Leon S Kennedy, okay? He makes me sad but also so so happy and I love him v much, he is a big time comfort character for me. Sorry for the rant, just needed to scream about this with someone who would understand lol 😅

oh anon, I get you, I dooo. I think that you're right in that Leon has kind of this shell around himself because it's the only way he can cope. but there are so many cracks in his shell, and he lets people in so readily even when it would stand to reason that he shouldn't trust anyone anymore. he gets attached to people lightning fast, and he'd die for them even when he's barely met them.

this borders on headcanon territory, definitely, but I tend to often write him as someone who gets attached easily and falls for people easily (be it friendship or romantic or anything), but then he doesn't know how to properly let people in because he's got his defense mechanisms, he's trying to keep himself from breaking, and what if he truly lets someone past those walls and then another disaster strikes and he never recovers from it?

and I think it shows a lot in how he's so awkward with small talk, he can throw in one-liners and dad jokes and try to keep his own (and anyone else's) spirits up with that. but oh man. beyond that? the boy doesn't know how to naturally talk to people. (even like in Infinite Darkness, with Claire, I think his "don't do anything stupid" was 100% meant to be a joke, both times, but it just didn't exactly land perfectly. poor awkward bby)

but like even though he might put up this unaffected front, he's still so very expressive? like... if you really pay attention to him? he's far from actually an expressionless and cold person. he just isn't very loud about it. (i was just going through ID screencaps yesterday and while Shen May is talking and Leon is on the background, he goes through such a journey in expressions alone :'D)

AND HE CARES. like, for example in Infinite Darkness, he sees Patrick is shaken and the first possible moment he has, he immediately asks him if he's okay and takes a moment to reassure him. they're in a hurry, he's supposed to get going and not check up on a guy he's never even met before, but he does it anyway. and I think it speaks a lot of his character. he's quick to offer support and comfort, and he genuinely tries to be there for others the best he can. he desperately needs someone to listen to him in turn, seriously. give him emotional support, damnit.

and I wanna highlight what you said:

in reality he feels and cares so much, so much so that if he doesn't put up that mask of indifference then he'll destroy himself. This man would die so that others could live, he's saved the world multiple times without a care for himself past the need to finish his mission and keep as many people as possible safe.

because yes. 100%. also this:

he's one of those characters who you aspire to be like, in a way.

like. yes. there was this one meme thing going around which was basically like asking if you feel like you're like your favorite character and I'm just. I fucking wish I was one tenth of what he is :'D

I know not even he is perfect, c'mon, no such thing as perfect people exist (not even in fiction, or if they do then they'd be really damn boring :'D). i'm not trying to claim he has no flaws, or that he never does anything wrong. he has and he does. but the amount of genuine caring he shows and how hard he tries to do the right thing? truly awe inspiring.

i just. I'm right there with you. I love him so damn much. and that's why I spend most of my time writing fic where he gets at least some of that happiness he deserves :'D i need him taken care of, damnit, and if canon doesn't give him good things then i damn sure will.

#whenever you want to talk about him anon #i'm right here for you :D #i love him so much #so muchhhh #anonymous #ask and i shall answer #re answers #leon s kennedy #long post

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cinnaminsvga · 3 years ago

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i'm with that anon. also been here a little before tlhc. and i don't participate in fandoms at all anymore. on here i go mia sometimes (sometimes i just want to wipe it clean of any posts but i've had this account for 10 years way too much effort. and i'm way to attached to delete it.) i'm not really drawn to anything or anyone anymore besides bts and even then it's not in a way where im like fully surrounded and immersed i don't consume everything put out by them either. dare i say it's healthy now. but i'm also not into anything else so ??? eventually i won't even post anymore (i'm going longer and longer without posting between when i do.) omg is this what being normal is?! (i just don't want to post at all in general. i don't use social media in general mental health has been thriving since. one day i'm going to delete twitter and insta too but theyre personal and inactive accounts they don't count. but when i think of deleting tumblr or anything on it, i get an anxiety attack lmfao. and it's also how i've "kept up" with bts even when i don't post. tumblr has always been my safe place)

but i do and will still come back for you (why i also follow yoobie.) it was always more than the writing (parasocial mind your business) it's always been a comfortable safe place with you? and i don't know. they're right it feels homey. you feel like that one friend that i think about sometimes and you just hope they're always happy and doing whatever they want and living their best life. and i want nothing more for you than for you to be happy and successful in whatever makes you feel that way. when i think of you i remember you fondly and your self projection stories fondly. when i talked to you. you were always sweet. also you were kind of a big account but it never felt that way even when you were super active. it felt like a little get together of small group of people just vibing to the same stuff when you'd answer asks or post

but as for your writing i don't read fanfics anymore either haven't in years but if you ever post anything i'm RUNNING it doesn't even have to be fanfics i don't have to be a fan of whatever you write a fic of or for or if you ever decided to do like a random non fanfic story id read it too. i'll come running every time. (no pressure just know you always have my support.)

THE WAAAAY I ACTUALLY SNIFFLED WHILE READING THIS ;w;

it's just... so wild to me?? that i exist in your mind?? pardon me for sounding like a broken record but i just can't understand how i occupy any sort of space in your brain even though i'm just a stranger... like YES i kinda do be acting parasocial with my followers sometimes but it's still so??? I HAVE NO WORDS I'VE BEEN STARING AT THIS ASK FOR LIKE 8 HOURS NOW AND IDK HOW TO RESPOND BC I'M JUST OVERWHELMED WITH EMOTION ;w;

it's messages like these that really stop me from deleting this blog, truly. like i've debated deleting all my social medias for so long now but like you, i feel this sort of?? anxiety?? call me an old sap or wtvr, but the time i spent here were genuinely my fondest memories of my late teens to early adulthood. it isn't even an overexaggeration to say that i've become better as a person bc of all the interactions and relationships i've made on here!! and the idea that somehow, my presence has also extended into being this safe and familiar place for some of you really just makes me incredibly thankful 🥲

so as much as i have been less active on this site, i don't think i'll ever truly leave for good. i'll always be around to shout and scream about shit (both figuratively and literally) but maybe just not as frequently as i once did. and i hope in the future, some of you can still come by around my place and shoot a small hello :D

#ALL THESE MESSAGES ARE FUCKING ME UPPPPP #ITS A SUNDAY I GOTTA GET MY GRIP TOGETHER BUT YALL ARE SO SWETETETSDFKJDK #anon pls know that bc of you i literally opened a word doc for the first time in like months and im gonna try to post something ;w;#MARK MY WOOF #*word #what who said that #Anonymous #answered

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wickedpact · 3 years ago

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A ranking of all the TTT stories in order of how much I liked them.

(Oh god this is so long)

1 My Mother's Axe

BABY ANDYYYYYYYYYYYY. Honestly this one had the trifecta of developing a character's motivations, developing a character's backstory, & developing their personality. The story starting out with Andy teaching Nile to use the axe was so charming and fun, and you could feel that chemistry they had in Opening Fire, the way they teased and bickered with each other so naturally. I loved the wedge between them on the subject of the axe, how Nile was perhaps a little too young to understand Andy's feelings about whether or not its the 'same' axe. I also love how the axe is obviously the symbol of the franchise and hugely important, but you never get a sense of exactly how important it is to Andy until you read the story.

I love the entire Ship of Theseus theme, and how it feels so natural that for Andy she has to get attached to the idea of things rather than the things themselves because she'll always outlive the things themselves-- the axe is symbolically her mom's axe, even if physically it isn't. And I love how she clearly clings to that concept so tightly. "This is the labrys she held in her hands...." IT GETS ME.

And the fact that this sense of BELONGING, of FAMILY, of CULTURE is so important to Andy that she clings to it (figuratively and literally) with both hands. And of course it's important to her, she spent so long alone that the woman doesn't even remember her birth name. That axe (or the idea of that axe) is all she has left of her mother and that family/culture she was born into.

PLUS on that note I love how Andy doesn't remember if her mom was her actual biological mother, but it doesn't matter to her. This woman was her mother in all the ways that counted. And how her mom BETRAYED AND KILLED Andy but Andy loved her so much that she avenged her and carried her axe for thousands of years. THOUSANDS OF YEARS!!!!!!

I also loved how the story transcends the timeline of the whole franchise and seeing Andy through the years. Loved seeing her with the varying squads and with varying axes. Also baby Andy was so cute. It was cool seeing her so young. like holy fuck. Andromache The Scythian, Immortal Warrior (but smol). Love that.

Also I think this one is one of the few ttt stories that doesn't suffer from length problems.

tldr: goddammit greg you've done it again.

2 Zanzibar and Other Harbors

Zanzibar my beloved. I've said before, but it's downright comedic how little regard there was for Joe and Nicky's character designs in this story. The same person who does the colors for the regular comic did the colors for this one too, and you can tell, every panel of this story was Beautiful.

Ik there was A Lot of criticism of this one (lmao @ how the fandom had no idea what was to come) but I thought a lot of The Discourse was a bit dramatic. I did think Nicky came off as a little oblivious to Joe's feelings in this story, but I've said before, I honestly think that was a 'tone not translating' thing. It felt like Nicky was nagging Joe for [checks notes] saving innocent people, but Joe was so amused by Nicky's complaints I really do think it was supposed to come off as teasing.

Plus I know the 'Joe running off into danger and Nicky reluctantly following' dynamic wasn't popular (I'm a pretty meh on it meself) but I did love how Joe's impulsiveness (if you want to call it that) was interpreted as heroism and not hot-hotheadedness. All of the examples Nicky and Joe talked about included Joe explicitly saving people. (and it also took A Lot for the nazi to actually provoke Joe).

I also feel like their characterization here was closest to the movie canon-- the bit where they hear the woman scream and Joe goes running in to save her while Nicky swoops in on Joe's heels to comfort her while Joe and the nazi were fighting reminds me of the train car scene. Joe had suggested First that they go find Nile because she needed to be protected, and Nicky later added that Nile probably also needed emotional support. Similar reactions.

But it was So Good, the themes of queer community and the enduring nature of queer culture are Not themes you see in media that often and it was such a delight how it was done. Also it's one of the few more modern TTT stories that has a completely valid excuse for taking place when it did. Chef's kiss.

3 Passchendaele

I love the Duality between seeing baby Andy and then seeing Mama Andy in the very next issue. This story doesn't have a ton of meat to it, but the entire concept of Andy adopting a war orphan straight off the battlefield PLUCKS MY TENDER LITTLE HEARTSTRINGS, and I think it's especially poignant for comic!Andy. I think most people wouldn't think twice about movie!Andy doing something like that but comic Andy is so hardened and almost cruel sometimes, and seeing that even for her the world hasn't beaten all of the compassion from her yet is SO!!!!!!! this woman contains MULTITUDES okay, she's violent and angry and tired and Done but she's also so kind and compassionate and THE STRENGTH OF HER!!!!! Also the idea of her and Yitzhak co-raising a kid together is so damn cute. It was #mysterious pre-Yitzhak-story but now it's cute. holy fuck. It's cute.

& the headbonk panel of her and Zeus lives in my heart. anyways.

4 Many Happy Returns

I Know people weren't thrilled about Booker being in this one, but I've developed a pet-peeve about that: this story was *not* booker-centric. Booker only exists in this story to the extent required to explain the importance of the gesture Nile makes towards him. If there was a story about Booker making some grand gesture of kindness to Nile no one would be saying it was Nile-centric. bc it wouldn't be! Booker exists in this story to explore Nile's kindness, its not about him. I saw that a couple times and it bothered me. anyways.

AAAAAAAAAA I loved this one, the art was beautiful, I loved how Andy Nile and Booker were drawn (like their comic selves but.. more looking like actual people). I loved Andy and Nile's Bants, how Andy wanted to jump right in and Do Violence but Nile was basically telling her to hold her horses.

I feel like I'm just repeating the post I made on this story a few days ago, but I LOVED how Nile's plan revolves not around violence or Cool Mercenary Skills but on Nile's own life skills (as she canonly did a lot of minimum wage job-hopping before the marines in comics canon). Her plan used her skills, not the skills of an immortal warrior, and HER SKILLS were in fact more useful for the situation! lov to see Nile's resourcefulness and planning skills.

AND HOW NILE WAS PROBABLY WATCHING BOOKER??? it's so Much bc 1.) nile knew booker A SINGLE DAY and yet he made such an impression on her emotionally that she had to keep an eye on him and 2.) she said in the movie she wanted Booker to get off free with an apology. Yes she's a member of the team but that doesn't mean she's necessarily going to follow orders like a good little soldier. I also love how she convinced Andy to go along with it. her HEART, her KINDNESS, her THOUGHTFULNESS, UGH.

5 The Bear

Honestly I have like no negative things to say about this one other than a.) character design issues which is less about the story itself and is more of a 'tog comic in general' criticism and b.) too short, but it was supposed to be a tease, so.

But I loved Yitzhak, I wasn't expecting to really like him at all but like I said in my other post, he tickled me. I love characters who are Kind™, especially if they have little reason to be so given their backgrounds. Chef's kiss. Lov him.

6 Bonsai Shokunin

I know this one was a little controversial bc of the outsider POV but whenever I see people upset about that they never point out that the Outsider Guy (the samurai) existed as a reflection on Noriko. His ideas are explained in the text to develop hers. The whole story follows how she gave mercy to a scared young man and in response he murdered Noriko, repeatedly! Who gave him the right to inflict such pain and suffering on the world? In his opinion, the lack of response from the gods was his permission. And for Noriko-- over and over again she dies and suffers because she gave mercy, which lines up with her ideas in FM about how it's their fate to rule mortals and if they don't align with that plan/fate/whatever then they suffer. It shows some background to those ideas and how they developed in her mind outside of Ocean Madness™. Additionally, his idea of 'the Gods have done nothing to strike me down so it's fine if I do these things' kind of explains how Noriko may justify her own morally corrupt actions-- she's died so many times and it's never stuck. Maybe if she did die any of those times, or while she was in the water, maybe that would've been a sign she was doing something right, or at least doing something normal. But she hasn't died. Fate isn't done with Noriko yet. And maybe there's a reason for that. In her mind, it's just not a very pleasant reason, is all.

There were things I was kind of meh about tho. I did kind of wish we saw something of Noriko and the team, or smth explaining the way she was before her dip in the pool-- personality, likes dislikes, etc. but it wasn't bad or anything. It was super vague tho, I had to read it a few times before I got what it was going for. Liked the art. Liked the bonsai metaphor. And of course I Respect the decision to use the 1300s (1200s? I don't remember off the top of my head) rather than using the last 200 years.

7 Strong Medicine

Honestly looking back, this one made me kind of sad because both this one and Bonsai Shokunin explored character's ideas on Fate and The Divine and how that intersects with immortality and I totally thought that theme would be continued, especially with Love Letters. But Then It Wasn't™.

Admittedly.... I had to re-read this one to remember most of it. I liked Booker's ideas on God, 'The conductor of the symphony just may not be very good at his trade' but the plot itself was kind of forgettable. Some fuckin cowboys try to kill a doctor (their second) because he couldn't save their sickly brother. Book tries to stop them, gets killed, and then comes back and kills them all before they get the doctor. Alright. I liked the artstyle because the characters were ugly in a similar way that leandro's are, but way more bearable.

I love the Irony of Booker concluding that there is no such thing as fate or destiny and nothing has meaning, AS HE UNKNOWINGLY SAVES MERRICK'S GRANDFATHER FROM BEING KILLED. Booker getting fucked over by life/god/destiny yet again. It also kind of explains about where the fuck hell Merrick's interest in immortal mercenaries even came from.

I originally had this one a lot higher and then I thought about it and moved it down like two spots.

8 Never Gets Old

I liked seeing Booker interact with his kid. And we got a name for the kid! Philippe was a little bitch though, he was a little obnoxious. I liked how Booker was so thrilled to experience a restaurant with his kid (and since we know he was there before, it can be assumed he went with all of his kids and yet he was so charmed each time). It fits with his line to Nicky in the moon landing story about how you don't appreciate beautiful things 'unless you have someone to share them with'. It was charming to see Booker interact with his kid, and to see him so happy. Also lmao @ Booker's big fat Ye Olde Crush on Andy.

However at the same time it was like.. of all the things to write about,,, I guess? Booker's Night Out...... alright. Especially since Book had so many stories.

I don't know, it was alright. The old man killing him really came out of nowhere, (but the 'Salut, asshole!' panel was funny tho).

9 How To Make a Ghost Town

I've hit a point where talking about these stories has gotten less fun. I liked this one but I felt like Achilles getting lynched was not really necessary for a story that was already tragic (a story that already involved Achilles doing a lot of suffering at the hand of bigots). When we first got the blurb for this story I thought it would be about Andy returning to the squad and making friends with Booker after losing Achilles and them butting heads on the idea of family and when to cut off ties. So a little bit of my underwhelmedness about this one might be just my expectations being different.

Honestly I was pretty interested in Andy and Achilles' relationship and I would've liked to see more of them-- like, what was their dynamic like? What did they love about each other?

But anyways Andy leaving and Achilles getting killed anyways feels so pointlessly tragic (which I suppose is the point..... I don't like tragedies) she left to save him and yet people killed him anyway. Meh.

I did love the bits about Andy wanting to have a domestic life (Andy and her multitudes again) and the little detail about how she buried her axe near the road but he buried his guns under his bed-- he was an escaped slave, he never had the luxury of assuredness like Andy did. It was a sad story.

10 Lacus Solitudinis

'You put this one above love letters crim??? how could you???' easy, lmao.

There was stuff in this one I liked. But to talk about stuff I didn't like: (I'll keep it brief, I know ragging on this story has been done time and time again)

UH, setting aside the 6 year cold shoulder between Joe and Nicky, I thought their chosen method of conflict resolution was... bad at best. Nicky's inability to talk about his feelings was also annoying, especially since the entire point of this story is a fight Joe and Nicky had, and yet we don't get both sides to the story, which is...... important? That fact is especially annoying bc in the absence of Nicky explaining his side of the story, it's absolutely a possible (and admittedly probably unintentional) interpretation of the text that we do get that Joe routinely resolves conflict between him and Nicky by simply cutting Nicky out of his life entirely until Nicky just. caves? Even if it takes years?

WHICH i could get into that interpretation and how fucked up i find it. but im not going to. out of restraint.

I don't know, I think there are a lot of interesting ways to go about this conflict but 'Nicky wants to kill a guy and Joe refuses to acknowledge his existence until he stops because he thinks Nicky is too much of a Good Boy to get his hands dirty like that' ('I wont watch as the world turns his (...) compassion into something ugly'. ) wasn't.. how I would've done it. (I mean you know Joe doesn't give a shit about what Nicky is doing in a moral way, because Joe doesn't even care or mention that Booker is killing those cops too. Joe only cares because he doesn't like the idea of Nicky changing in a way he finds undesirable.)

admittedly I've said before, I do like the emphasis Joe's reaction puts on Nicky's kindness. Joe has a complete inability to cope with Nicky simply Not Being Kind. It speaks to the steadiness of Nicky's compassion all those years. but still that fact doesn't make it the conflict feel worth it

hm. I said I would be brief and I wasn't.

oh well. basically I thought there was interesting conflict potential there but it wasn't done the way I would've liked, and the way it was done leaves a lot of disturbing (and again probably unintended) interpretations to lie.

What I did like? Andy and Joe having that pessimist/optimist dynamic. Joe nerding out about science. Andy not being impressed by The Achievements Of Man. I loved Booker needling at Nicky about his outdated slang and also trying to give him Older Brother advice practically in the same breath. I loved Booker giving The Worst relationship advice ever and Nicky being like 'I Will Not Do That, Ever, Thanks.' the family vibes were so good. The Joenicky vibes left a lot to be desired tho.

11 Love Letters

I talked about my problems with Nicky in this story (and Lacus Solitudinis). I don't know, the story isn't bad but I do hold a little bit of a grudge towards it because its very existence begs the existence of a solo Joe story and we didn't get one. If we never got this story, then we could happily count Lacus Solitudinis and Zanzibar as The Joenicky Stories™ and move on with our lives. sigh.

I remember when we first got the blurb for this story I was really curious about why Nicky specifically + the setting, and the answer kind of feels like 'the author had an idea for a story like this and saw ttt as a good enough place to utilize that idea'. Plus I was really underwhelmed by the Romantic Sentiment in the letter. If you look at it line-by-line, the majority of the letter is actually Nicky talking about how lonely and disturbed he is, rather than actual,, yknow,,, Romantic Sentiment. I mean, compare the van speech and this letter and this letter is just kind of meh in comparison. I liked nicky calling joe wise! and I liked the brief sun/moon metaphor! and otherwise it was eh. It didn't even have cute squad banter, which is why Lacus Solitudinis is above this one.

12 An Old Soul

Nun orgy. Nun orgy?????? Nun orgy.......

The whole story felt like a setup to have a nun orgy. Why did Booker have abs? Why did they do that to Andy's nose? ?????? the art was good at least.

nun orgy.

#tales through time spoilers #obviously #long post #seriously dont open that read more unless youre committed to scrolling past all these Words

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zukkaoru · 3 years ago

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Top 5 comfort characters? <3

only five?? okay well let's see here,,

(in no particular order)

1. thalia grace (riordanverse)

literally she is everything to me. i formed an unhealthy emotional attachment to her from the moment i met her at the end of sea of monsters and it has not gone away. my username on my personal instagram account was literally thalia.grace._ until partway through high school. when my friends and i were in middle school, we assigned each other fictional characters from the riordanverse that we would be and i was thalia because she was my favorite. i simply adore her. if i'm asked for my top fictional character of all time, i always default to her bc she's been everything to me since i was ten years old (wait i just realized that's literally half my life what the frick)

2. robin hood (once upon a time)

there's just something about characters who deserve so much more than what they're given that makes me attach myself to them. and there's something about the way that he looked past regina's flaws and her dark past and loved her anyways. the way he was selfless and kind and loyal. the way he poured himself out into everyone he ever loved so much that he might have lost who he was in the process. the way that he helped me through one of the roughest parts of my life from beyond the grave. literally he deserved so much better and if i think about it for too long i will scream and tear my hair out

3. cherry blossom / kaoru sakurayashiki (sk8 the infinity)

he's my baby my partner my father my mother my poor little meow meow-- no okay but seriously i love cherry too much for it to be healthy. i have never felt as much gender envy as i do whenever i see him. it's about hiding your emotions under false apathy bc you can't get hurt if you don't let anyone close enough to hurt you. it's about hardly ever letting anyone close enough to see the real you. it's about losing yourself in the personas you display for other people to the point where you don't even know who the real you is. why do i love so many characters with identity issues. but it's also about feeling the betrayal of the full swing kiss deep in my chest because yeah. i get it. i get putting your trust into someone who made you empty promises because you were young and naïve only for them to turn on you and say you aren't worth their time. it's about learning that closure comes in many forms and sometimes, you have to teach yourself to be okay with what you got. it's about finding the people who are willing to put in the work it takes to break your walls down and who aren't scared away by the defense mechanisms you've spent years perfecting. it's about slowly but surely allowing yourself to open up to love again. i just. i have a lot of feelings

4. zuko & mai (avatar: the last airbender)

they come together because they're besties. also bc i can't choose one over the other and i have one more character i need to do for 5. but anyways. it's about learning to love who you are despite being raised in a society that told you you could never be lovable unless you managed to conform to their impossible standards. it's about learning to stop trying to reach that love you can never win and instead living your truth. for zuko, it's about overcoming the cycle of hatred you've been taught and raised in. for mai, it's about needing to look like you don't care because you've been taught caring (or expressing any emotion, for that matter) is bad. and it's about finding the people who love you for who you are instead of who they think you could be.

5. simon saunders (rise)

oh boy. oh boy. you know when you start watching a tv show or reading a book or whatever, and for the first time in your life, you see a character who is just. you? yeah. that was me with simon. the religious guilt over your sexuality? struggling with what you believe vs what you want to believe? wanting to go after love but being terrified of your parents' reactions and God's reaction and not knowing whether or not you believe the love you want is sinful? yeah. yeah. simon was the first character i came into contact with who fully and entirely resonated with me, down to the bone, into my soul, so deeply it hurt. wherever he is now, i hope he's doing well

#I WROTE SO MUCH FOR CHERRY OOPS #i wrote so much for this just. in general #haha #actually this post should probably be shown to a therapist instead of the tumblr mutuals #but i don't have a therapist so you all get it instead :D #anyway. yeah. i have a lot of thoughts and feelings #also what the HECK is with me and characters who have identity issues😭#actually no don't answer that. i think i answered it myself while talking about simon #ANYWAY #i'm gonna stop now #thank you for the ask kit!! i really enjoyed this one!!#kit tag #ask game #tw religion #tw religious guilt #tw homophobia

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shumaiseyeliner · 4 years ago

Text

“Hi! Uh~can I make a request? I feel real angsty rn so let's do Nagito, Post-game Izuru/Hajime (sorry), Makoto, Fuyuhiko and Kokichi and a Dying reader who dies in their arms confessing :) Also I love your stories so much~”

a/n: y’all know that I’m bad at writing for them (hajime and izuru) but you just enjoy seeing me struggle 😭🤚I’M DOING THEM SEPARATELY BC I FEEL LIKE A DUMBASS WHENEVER I WRITE FOR THEM TOGETHER, also writing nagito for this prompt made my heart hurt, komahina vibes and I cried a lil

warnings: yandere, unhealthy relationships, unhealthy mindsets, unhealthy behavior, angst, death, spoilers for nagito’s freetime events, suicide mention in nagito’s, his part is longer but there’s too much to unpack with nagito 🥲, murder mention

Komaeda Nagito

☘︎︎ he’s literally dying from dementia and another disease, so I feel like while Nagito craves a relationship with his darling, he definitely pushes them away a lot due to having the (fair) idea that he’s going to end up dying before his darling. It’s a really sad truth about Nagito that he doesn’t acknowledge much, but he’s extremely lonely and afraid that he’s going to end up dying alone, but I think he’d eventually just want to spend what time he has left servicing his darling. That’s how he wants to die, truly. So, you can imagine his absolute despair once he realizes that his darling is going to die.

☘︎︎ whether it’s from a disease or not, Nagito knows that his darling is going to die before it’s actually happening. He’s absolutely convinced it’s due to his luck cycle, so the dread he feels is absolutely crushing. Nagito, due to his illnesses, lacks empathy, but as his darling is dying in his arms, he’s sobbing his heart out. He doesn’t know how to process what’s going on, and while this may sound harsh, his darlings confession just makes it ten times worse. Nagito is closed off because of the severe amount of trauma he’s gone through, so coming to terms with their death is quite literally going to be impossible for him.

☘︎︎ hate to say it... but he won’t last long after his darling dies, especially knowing that they loved him. The only thing keeping Nagito from the deep end had been his darling, so I don’t think he’d live very long afterwards. He’s the type that would say that he wouldn’t be able to live without his darling in his life, and it was true, technically, and Nagito proves this through his actions. He becomes reckless, and I don’t think his luck cycle could ever keep up with that in the long run. He’d end up dying, eventually, and while it could be counted as an accident, it most definitely was not.

Kamukura Izuru

☘︎︎ he does not deal with this well, and this is because Izuru knew that his darling was going to die already. It messed worh his brain, and he hated knowing that they’d die eventually. He left his darling alone - see, avoided them - because he specifically did not want to be there when it happened. Izuru is still very new to emotions, so when they’re forced out of him, he can become rather... angry. That being said, he doesn’t accept the fact that his darling is going to die very easily, Izuru tries to help them in his own way, but he’s literally incapable of stopping it from happening.

☘︎︎ needless to say, he’s pretty much seething when his darling dies in his arms. Like... this is something he cannot emotionally comprehend and it bothers him a lot knowing that he was helpless in this situation. Their confession of loving him just makes it worse for Izuru, especially since he doesn’t fully grasp what that would have meant for him if he had caught onto his own feelings earlier on. He reaction is just kind of him being numb, if I’m being completely honest, because he doesn’t understand. Izuru wasn’t built for these types of things, literally, he wasn’t.

Hinata Hajime

☘︎︎ he’s got a lot of issues, especially if you look into the fear of being inferior that he has. After the program, I think Hajime had a lot more confidence than he did before, so he was confident in his ability to protect his darling and he wanted to love them, genuinely. He was trying to work on his issues in order to be a better person for his darling, so this happening is like a slap in Hajime’s face. He’s still afraid of being less special, less strong, so his reaction to his darling dying in his arms is a pure emotional one. Frankly, he’s a mess, but why wouldn’t he be? The love of his life has died, after all.

☘︎︎ overall, though, Hajime is angry. It’s bad for his mental health, but he most definitely blames himself, and remembering his darlings confession makes Hajime’s heart hurt. He’s just so... emotional about the whole thing. A more innocent reaction, but he’s still undeniably angry. He’d have two different reactions, though, depending on his darling cause of death. An illness would cause him to become angry at himself and horribly self-deprecating. However, if they were killed by someone else, things would not be the same for Hajime. He’s seething with rage, and he’s going to kill whoever did this to his darling.

Naegi Makoto

☘︎︎ like Hinata, he has one of the more emotional reactions, but they’re very different. Makoto is very attached to his darling, they genuinely mean the world to him, and his mindset is much like Komaeda’s, just not including the self-depreciation. Makoto, however, knows for a fact that if anything bad ever happened to his darling, he’d die. So, when his darling does end up dying in his arms, Makoto is completely broken up about it. He’s inconsolable afterwards and he pretty much just falls apart at the seams, which is pretty disturbing to witness considering how he usually acts.

☘︎︎ he’s just so... sad. Makoto genuinely adored every single thing about his darling, so their confession along with their death was like an emotional gut punch for him, especially when he gets to thinking about how it would have been like if he had found out about their feelings beforehand. Makoto is just full of regrets, irs very sad to see, actually. I feel like Kirigiri would try to help him out of the emotional ditch that he’s been thrown into, but it’s really no use, especially considering how he thinks about it constantly. His darling is all he ever thinks about in general, but after their death it becomes worse.

Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko

☘︎︎ also apart of the overly emotional reaction group. Fuyuhiko does not deal with this well, and relives seeing his darling die in his arms daily in his head. Fuyuhiko isn’t very open worh his emotions in the first place, so I think much like Komaeda he’d go through a period of time during his infatuation where he simply pushed his darling away, they just do it for different reasons. Rather than doing it for his darlings sake like Komaeda, Fuyuhiko does it because he doesn’t like the fact that he’s fallen for someone, he becomes offended. So, his darlings death hits him hard.

☘︎︎ despite how he might’ve acted around his darling, Fuyuhiko had fallen for them hard, so even the idea of them being inconvenienced made Fuyuhiko angry, so just imagine how them dying in his arms went. He’s crying and screaming at them at the same time and he’s a mess, a lot of emotions are flowing out of him so he most likely accidentally lets out that he loves them as well, but he won’t remember saying it once everything is over, he’ll be too busy mourning. Receiving a confession from his darling like this is going to make Fuyuhiko furious, and I think he’d be kind of angry with his darling afterwards, but that doesn’t last.

Oma Kokichi

☘︎︎ not emotional... outwardly. Kokichi is constantly putting up a mask of not caring, and his darling is not an exception to this whatsoever. It’s just what he does, so when he’s faced with a situation like this he isn’t too sure what he’s supposed to do. Kokichi is kind of freaking out when he realizes that his darling is literally dying because that definitely wasn’t supposed to happen... like, ever. Kokichi is usually pretty lighthearted about most things, but this is something he cannot handle normally like he usually would. His mental state is pretty much falling apart the moment he realizes what’s happening.

☘︎︎ he wouldn’t cry at first, but the confession from his darling feels like he’s being killed. Kokichi truly can’t understand why they love him in the first place, because he’s admittedly pretty terrible to them sometimes, but just the fact that they care for him is breaking Kokichi’s resolve and it’s only after his darlings death that it becomes clear to everyone else around him that he’s definitely not okay after everything that happened. He still teases people, but there’s an obvious shift in his attitude and how he holds himself. Frankly, he’s depressed, and he’s never going to stop being depressed until he dies.

writing nagito’s had me like

this made me SAD

#yandere komaeda nagito #yandere kamukura izuru #yandere hinata hajime #yandere naegi makoto #yandere kuzuryu fuyuhiko #yandere oma kokichi #yandere danganronpa #yandere sdr2 #yandere drv3 #yandere headcanons #yandere imagines #yandere #shumaiwrites

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mallowstep · 3 years ago

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Fellow swiftie here and I just wanted to ask what your favorite songs/lyrics are or if you had any songs that resonated with specific characters

hhhng yeah okay! i'm probably not even going to get close to all of my thoughts, but here are some:

stay stay stay is a song that i think is cute but also...like. it gives exactly a specific energy.

HOLY GROUND MY ADORED. fuck. "right there where we stood was holy ground" i just --- i should use that for a tigerdove piece god

all too well. we all know all too well. there's --- okay. it's a good. god. i just. yeah.

fearless! this album was my childhood! so i don't really have. okay i don't really have a lot of character associations w taylor bc she's an artist i love deeply and personally so it's hard to form character attachments. but especially for this album.

fifteen is --- fifteen. god. i have personal emotions.

breathe makes me cry sometimes.

THE WAY I LOVED YOU is just. screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain / it's 2 am and i'm cursing your name / you're so in love that you act insane / and that's the way i loved you

n.b. if i mess up lyrics i'm doing this from memory so just shhh it's fine. i've got her albums open, but i'm just rambling.

change i used to love and now i don't. very. i think it's because i've grown up? like? i am no longer a nine year old? if i want that energy i listen to jackboot jump now. more people should listen to jackboot jump.

i'm i love ALL of fearless but most of it is pretty personal. some of it is personal won't share and some of it is if i talk about my personal connections to these songs it'll take me a year xd.

evermore and folklore got me through a break up.

champagne problems is just. fuuuuuuck.

gold rush: "eyes like sinking ships on water" is the title of my goldenflower character study i swear i'll write some day.

tolerate it is. uh. it's a lot. "i sit at the door like i'm just a kid / save my best colours for your portrait." fuck. "i know my love should be celebrated" is my homescreen.

happiness. yeah.

ivy is used for stolag, so we know THOSE thoughts.

closure. fuuck. just. "i'm fine with my spite and my beer and my candles." i.

the last great american dynasty is just a fun song to listen to lmao, same w mad woman. i actually don't ADORE folklore, overall the album's a bit slow for me, but it's still good.

betty. yeah.

peace. "will it be enough if i can never give you peace." total dovewing thoughts.

and hoax! ultimate squirrelbramble song. "your faithless love's the only hoax i believe in." i think about jessie and squirrel and how desperate it all is, how unfair it all is, and i just.

lover! lover and reputation are underrated.

miss americana and the heartbreak prince is so much fun

paper rings is just. "i like shiny things but i'd marry you with paper rings." and like the whole song. it makes me smile.

death by a thousand cuts is so hard but it. i feel it deep.

soon you'll get better is. oof. it's a lot. uh. personal stuff i don't want to talk about for this one but. what's the line. "holy orange bottles i pray to you" or something. i uh. yeah.

false god is FUCK. first of all the song order is just it hits you.

don't blame me we all know i'm obsessed w this one. don't blame me, my love made me crazy, if it doesn't you ain't doing it right. lord save me, my drug is my baby, i'll be using for the rest of my life.

i'm actually ik i've used don't blame me for something...JUST GONNA CALL YOU MINE! yeah. the whole song is very misty/night for me.

dancing with our hands tied is so. ohw.

new year's day. i just. i want your midnights. i'll be picking up bottles with you on new year's day. and the. "please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh i could recognize anywhere." still makes me cry. hard.

1989: i mean i'm just not into the super poppy sound of this one.

welcome to new york...is it a good song? i don't know. but it still hits.

there's plenty of good songs here i'm just not attatched to them. like. "this love is a worthwhile fight," yeah, sure, but it feels very generic. it's not the sort of --- her other albums get so mundane and personal i feel the love. it's like.

okay i was complaining about romance in warriors and that's how i feel about this album. there's no i threw my phone at your head, there's no my name is whatever you decide, there's no coming undone.

speak now i'm meh on overall, but i like it.

back to december is pretty good.

dear john. oh. now. dear john. i can't. fuuuuuuuck dear john. "don't you think i was a little too young to be messed with?" i have. fuck. if i had to pin this one to a canon thing, it'd be mosspelt, but i have other associations with this song.

mean! mean. mean is. okay this is a little personal but if you're still reading you've earned this little anecdote: i used to walk outside listening to mean on my ipod and pretend it was about my dad. "someday i'll be living in a big ole city and all you're ever gonna be is mean." wish i could tell you, kiddo, you're gonna get it.

never grow up makes me think of my brother.

ours! good song. "this love is ours." i know i just criticized 1989 for being generic...but. "people throw rocks at things that shine" OH I HAVE TO ADD THIS TO A PLAYLIST HOLD ON. uh. for the future and for the friends, adding this to the playlist for "no one held me to the flame." i'm. i'm assuming i've actually told my friends that's the title lmao. but yes this is i was missing this will be good.

and taylor swift. shhhn. yes.

i don't have a lot of thoughts on this one. the only thing i'll say is...

i should've broken up with him when he said he didn't like "our song"

#ask #anon #mine

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doyouremem8erme · 3 years ago

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Well of course I’m going to ask you 002 for Marcy :)

How I feel about this character:

INCOMPREHENSIBLE SCREAMING AND SOBBING /POS

i love her. so much. i am prone to sob over the inherent tragedy of her arc i can't even. i will proceed to rant about her for the rest of this post.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

every variation of sashannarcy slaps. sasharcy has those epic hurt/comfort vibes and theres just something abt them. omg. and MARCANNE. sdfhgjksfdhgsjd fckin. i cannot. i love them i will cry over the pining and trauma and everything. but. then. SASHANNARCY DFHJKGHDFJK. its them its always them. theyre bound by prophecy but also by their own choices to eternally dance around each other until theyre finally all safe and trusting and happy again sdfgjhsjdfhgsj

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

we need more maddie and marcy friendship fr!! frickin so wholesome. let her have fun and be goofy and nerdy and creepy and weird with her froggy friend!! i need to write about them sometime. without having marcy in a coma. bc thats always the context. i always bring in maddie for that!! and then they never have friendship time! so yeah. weird nerds.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

uhhh everything i want to say abt her would be like "SHE DIDNT DESERVE WHAT HAPPENED TO HER" or "DFJFDHGJKFDHGJK" which are both common sentiments regarding her.

so instead i'll be like. why do you fear season 3b. are you afraid of the suffering??? hahahahaha i will watch the angst unfold with rapt attention!! yes i will sob but. let me have this. i want to see her pushed over the edge i want to see her sob into sasha and anne's arms when shes finally rescued.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon:

ive had like 5 separate vivid dreams abt her waking up after being saved and it paralleling the scene when she wakes up from the tank but. like. its real its raw its emotional. i really hope they handle her rescue and the weight of her trauma as well as ive dreamed. shes been through so much shes been stabbed and tortured and possessed i want to see her cry and also NEWT MOMS. give her lesbian newt found family i am begging on the ground.

my OTP:

SASHANNARCY SASHANNARCY SASHANNARCY–

(no longer can choose between sasharcy or marcanne. whenever i write one of those. imagine that it takes place before they realize they can All Date. and so they are gay pining the whole time.)

my cross over ship:

a Certain Fic has gotten me hooked on luzcy so. yeah luz noceda owl house x marcy wu. traumatized nerds am i right. (but man fr. marcy in that fic... ow)

a headcanon fact:

frick i wanted to put some gender here but all i have is angst! uh she. is aware of what is happening some of the time while possessed and she feels her body moving against her command and everything :) oh also. those weird plug things that connected to her in olivia and yunan? those attach to implanted technology under her skin :) yeah. shes not having a good time.

#lore cries over marcy #lore talks #marcy wu #amphibia #ask game

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nkhrchuwuya · 3 years ago

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firstly, i’m beyond happy you’re doing such a nice event for everyone!! thank you! congratulations and i bet you’ll have more people adoring your works bc they’re worth sobbing for, they make me feel, i gobbled up each one of ‘em (the first one i read was the one where chuuya rented the entire gym💀) lmao but monitor ur health too, there’s no rush and have a lovely day💛

✨my pronouns are they/she, and i’m in love with reading!! especially collections of letters + classic lit, which in turn made me write letters to people i care for, with the cute envelopes, flowers, and tiny spritz of perfume. sometimes i attach my own poetry or quote something i think conveys what they mean to me/remind me of them. i’m typically quiet so i express it in written words instead, or surpises that are handmade/homecooked, and if i really don't know how else more to say ily i just resort to cuddles + outburst of kisses (and back hugs *screams*). or a random act of service they currently need (when i see fics where reader takes care of chuuya after a tough day like patching him up and just making him comfy i scream cry and throw up hsuwshsh)i also love listening to ppl i love, like plans cancelled and earth irrelevant dont u ever shut up keep talking hduwhsywh

Ty for this again, sending love n good things💐

oh my gosh anon thank you so much 🥺 "worth sobbing for" is such a huge compliment and i'm so happy if i can draw such big emotions out of you! thank you for looking out for me, i promise i'll take care of myself (i say as i write this at 2am)

anyway, here are your chuu stuff!! :

he loves your little thing with literature! he also has a sweet spot for literature (and really, art in general) so whenever you get to have a little moment where you geek out he’s always so soft about it, you can see it in his eyes.

of course, he enables your hobby with all he can! ebooks? got the best reader out there right now, honey. hardbound books? guess what’s being carted into the penthouse. love writing letters? cool, what kind of stationery do you need, babe?

he falls even deeper in love with every letter you write him. so write him a lot, won’t you? he appreciates every little touch you make to make the letter even just a little bit more brighter for whoever will read it, and if he’s gone away for a mission or a trip he always has one with him to read and sometimes just hold when he misses you.

if you make him something yourself he’s always low-key bragging about it to anyone close enough to him. like if you cooked him a little bento to bring to a chill day at work, he’d be sitting outside some sort of balcony just nose-up like “you see this? they made this for me. do you get any lunchboxes? no? that’s cause i’m special. that’s cause they’re special.” (the only person he’d ever directly brag about it to is probably kouyou, maybe the black lizards, but to everyone else... turn green with envy looking over.)

lots of quiet dates for the two of you! of course, if you’re up to going to somewhere like a rave or an amusement park he’d gladly bring you, but oftentimes it’s in quieter places where you guys spend your dates. out at the park, by the portside, aquariums, a local cafe... you name it. he just enjoys relishing in your presence without the excess of everything else. you’re such a quiet, calming presence to him that he loves to bask in it.

the moment he discovers you are one for physical touch that’s the end of it for you! chuuya’s not a man of much words. ...well that’s a lie, he talks a lot, but he has a hard time putting his feelings into words often. knowing he can rely on touch to convey what he wants to, and that you will still receive the message clearly, is a weight off his shoulders.

your genuine concern whenever he comes home even the littest bit injured actually leaves chuuya... very flustered. he hasn’t had anybody fret over him like that before, not since he came to the mafia. kouyou took care of him but there was always an air of distance between them. and port mafia clinics are cold and clinical. but to come home to you gasping and “chuuya?! oh no, what’s happened to you this time...” he’s so thankful and grateful but also embarrassed at getting in trouble.

chuuya has a fixation on your hands. there’s something about it that’s just magical, he knows, and he will absolutely adore the hell out of them. these are the hands you use to tenderly flip through the pages of your beloved books; these are the hands that make his delicious lunches and all those handmade little things; these are the hands that patch him up; these are the hands that put him back together. he’s always kissing your hands to show how much he adores what they do.

overall, i think you’re going to be a great, more domestic kind of partner to chuuya, one he actually needs to balance himself out! he loves that he can be the loud to your quiet, and he can urge you out of your shell the same way you pat him down to calmness. a really good match if you ask me!

#anonymous #chuuya's special someone event #nakahara chuuya #bungou stray dogs #chuuya x reader #bsd chuuya x reader #chuuya x you #bungou stray dogs imagines #bsd imagines #bsd x reader

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