#something with popee the performer??
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i need more “cute become scary” horror to not be gory and over the top but to be like old kid cartoons that would have super unsettling weird moments that just may as well be horror
the same vibes as some obscure piece of media u remember watching when u were little, and all u got from it was “what were the writers on??”
there are implications to what you just watched that are never explained, leaving you to fill in the blanks as to what could possibly be going on in that world
it all has the vibe of an old animated movie made decades ago, filled with charm!! something that could’ve really been meant for kids!! but there’s just some weird creepy shit for no reason!!!
i’m just a little tired of super shocking horror, i enjoy the quieter more charming stuff Especially if it’s animated like old movies and shows !!
#courage the cowardly dog#that one episode of pingu with that walrus#popee the performer even#all that stuff#i need more of this#i wanna make something like this myself#i will take on the challenge
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The Forgotten (Don't Look in the Basement, 1973)
"Perhaps I shouldn't have come here at all."
"I don't think there's any point in our talking about your leaving, Miss Beale. You forget, you were very anxious to take this job. I made special provisions for you to be here."
"I realise that, but I don't know what to do!"
"I'm the doctor and you're the nurse, and what I do decides what you will do!"
#the forgotten#don't look in the basement#blood tw#horror film#american cinema#video nasty#s.f. brownrigg#tim pope#rosie holotik#bill mcghee#annabelle weenick#gene ross#betty chandler#harryette warren#jessie lee fulton#robert dracup#michael harvey#jessie kirby#hugh feagin#camilla carr#rhea macadams#properly dingy DIY horror filmmaking. when you consider this was just the year before Texas Chain Saw Massacre‚ the gulf in ability and#execution between two contemporary indie horror shockers that both ended up on the video nasty list is.. staggering really#pretty clearly shot on short ends‚ this suffers badly from just what a budget production it is; real shoddy cheapo hours here‚ and it#bleeds through in every scene and in every aspect of this film. an obvious plot and a plodding script do nothing to help and honestly this#is low grade stuff but if it has one saving grace it's the spirited performances of an almost entirely unknown cast. these actors are#giving it everything and honestly they deserved a better project to be a part of: Holotik is a little shaky at first but comes into her own#during the frantic madness of the final act‚ McGhee manages to make something genuinely likeable and sympathetic of a potentially very#tactless role as a victim of lobotomy; most of all it's Gene Ross as the disturbed Judge‚ whose desperate struggle with his own repressed#humanity and discomfort with human interaction is actually beautifully played in a series of affecting moments
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Person: You’re not (x), stop pretending-
Me:
#meme#memes#popee the performer#this is my first post so I thought I’d make it funny or something#But like honestly:#people tryna say “oh you’re not (insert sexuality/beliefs/etc. bc (dumb ahh reason)” like shut up man before I hit you with my gazers /j#anyway hi :)#rey rambles
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it's still so funny to me that Popee canonically becomes a scientist. bitch seriously got a PhD in clownery first then a PhD in mechanical engineering second
#going w mechanical engineering cuz of Phaeton but he’s also drawn working w chemicals and dissecting(?) Kedamono so i’m just guessing#i’m dumb and know nothing about different scientific fields so if mechanical engineering makes no sense pretend i put something else lol#ptp#popee the performer#spin’s bitching
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dude I just realized I'm the same age as popee the performer what the ell
#i learned of popee when i was like...~10/11 or something#just wild that im the same age as bim now gah damn#popee the performer#he is 17 btw for context
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guys.//../.. i saw people were interested in a poppe the performer zine... would....anyone be interested in me doingone....maybe... (HYPOTHETICAL GOSH NOT RN)
#this is propaganda to get a kirby's epic yarn zine done at some point. it is my favorite kirby game and i will not be taking critism#it would be digital because if i had to work with physical finances again#something will break#besides that honestly im so down to do more zines tehe#popee the performer#ptp#paul blabs
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If you catch me posting Bible memes I'm not turning into a Christian or whatever the fuck I was before my intense spiritual crisis 2 years ago (or was it three)? I went to school for academic theological studies (analysis of religion from an exterior view point) and recent books have me nostalgic and hyperfixating.
#if anything grief turned me back into atheist#ive been a few things#my dad was raised catholic but is a staunch atheist#and mom was sort of Pentecostal and sort of methodist and is a like#soft atheist who definitely believes in ghosts and curses and shit#and i was an atheist for a long time but i felt drawn to Catholicism#it felt like a culture idk#and then it got more and more comforting to non commitally hover at its edges through witchcraft and loose modern spiritual stuff#and perform mental gymnastics about it and mostly believe large swaths of its mythology without thinking about the moral and human side and#also not converting because i couldn’t face my parents if i did and i also was already aware that i couldn’t#but i kept convincing myself that The Church as an institution could somehow be good despite how evil everyone running it is#and then my education finally got the upper hand over my weird desperate longing to fully believe in something beautiful and nearly ancient#and also my father had repeated lies he didn’t know enough to spot#my education finally made me understand that The Church was only >1000 years old#that the gnostics (originally a jewish tradition according to bart d erhman and he referenced this as being commonly accepted)#were the group which the supposed messiah belonged to and the patristic church (catholic church 1.0) had them all killed#unarmed ascetics starving in the desert the people who wrote the earliest gospels and the church killed them all#there is no textual basis for the authority of the pope#the devil was a comprise#the saints were a marketing tactic#correction: the church is sort over a thousand years old but it went through so many iterations and eras before we got here#to be exact#the church FATHERS aka the church that will become the patristic church in the wake of these dudes#and im fuzzy on if the orthodox church is a fully separate iteration or if it and the patristic are used interchangeably#Catholicism as like a term comes out of the scism with Protestantism i think
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Me (casually looking up one of my current comfort shows so I can try to design a self insert): wow this is so cool surely there won't be any max and ruby 0004 type images anywhere :]
Google immediately as soon as I click on images: lol get hallucinations and paranoia idiot
#negative#literally WHY#all i did was look up popee the performer wtf </3#I justw anted to look at pictures of my platonic f/os#currently hiding in the bathroom scared that the popee from that image is going get me or something#I was already scared to go to sleep now i'm definitely not sleeping#and I know what you're thinking#I am aware that popee the performer is a distirbing show but like??? I can't recall one time anything like THAT was shown
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Biblical Marvel
This is connected to the Revival post. If you don’t want to go find that, let me give a quick summary of it. In that post, Mary and Freddy die a lot in their Marvel forms. As a result of this, Billy has to revive them a lot. It honestly stresses the poor boy out too because at the end of the Revival post, Billy finds some grey hairs. So, yeah.
Anyways, so people think Marvel is god sent in human form to protect them. (Let me also connect this to the Billy is Really Old post too. In that post, Billy has been a hero since 1940.) It explains why he hasn’t aged over the almost 80 years of him being a hero. Not only that but once, a homeless person asked him to turn water to wine, and he did, though that’s more a of Jesus thing.
Speaking of Jesus, some people think Mary and Junior are Jesus split in two. I mean, Mary has blue eyes (from C.C.) and brown hair (From Marilyn) for Christ’s sake. Not only that but her name is Mary. Maybe Jesus/Mary is honoring his/her mother. And as for Junior, maybe Mary took the looks and he took the gender?
Marvel: *sorting through letters and replying to a bunch of fan mail while sitting at a table in the kitchen.*
Wonder Woman: *Sitting next to him, eating ice cream*
Flash: *zips over and is now leaning on Marvel’s shoulder looking at the fan mail* “Dude, is that fan mail?”
Marvel: “Yup.” *finishes replying to a letter and putting it in the ‘done’ pile*
Flash: “How do even get fan mail? Do they know your address or something?”
Marvel: “Whiz Kid.” *picks up a super fancy looking letter*
WW: “Pardon?”
Marvel: “Whiz Kid. He gets them, and then he gives them to me.” *opens fancy letter*
Flash: “Wait, that little dude who does the radio show?”
Marvel: *Doesn’t like being called little but thinks it would be weird for him to defend himself while in Marvel form* “…Yeah… That ‘little’ dude.” *Takes out letter and reads it before sighing*
WW: “What’s wrong?”
Marvel: “The pope asked me to dinner again.” *sighs again and puts letter down on table to slouch and spin in his chair like a depressed little kid* “Now I gotta think of another excuse.”
WW: “The pope? As in the Catholic pope?” *eats bite of ice cream*
Flash: *looks to WW* “You know who the pope is?”
WW: *looks to Flash* “Yes? Flash, I may be from Themyscira, but I’m not completely ignorant of man’s world.” *looks to Billy* “If you don’t mind me asking, why don’t you want to go?”
Marvel: *shrugs as he slows his spinning to a stop, having came up with an excuse. Picks up letter and starts replying* “I don’t know. Do you want to have dinner with a guy you’ve never met?”
WW: “I see. I suppose not.” *goes back to eating ice cream*
or
Mary: *Watching a show on a TV in Mount Justice*
Robin!Tim: “Mary? Could you help me with something?”
Mary: *pauses show* “Huh? Yeah sure.” *flies over to Tim* “What’s the problem?”
Robin!Tim: *sitting at the kitchen at the counter with a laptop* “Can you tell me everything you know about angels? I’m writing a paper about it for school.”
Mary: “Oh. Uh, sure?” *Proceeds to talk Tim’s ear off for the next 15 minutes about angels and their different types and personalities and such*
Robin!Tim: *finishes paper* “Thanks a lot.” *closes computer and hops off chair*
Mary: “No problem, but why’d you ask me specifically? Why not use the internet?”
Robin!Tim: “Aren’t you like the primary source?” *heads back to his room*
Mary: *confused*
or
*Captain Marvel flies down and asks to pet a woman’s dog when all of a sudden, a mother holding a child runs up to him*
Mother: “Please cure my child!” *holds child out to him* “You can perform one of your miracles, right? Please!”
Marvel: “What?” *looks between Mother and child.*
Child: *looks really sick*
Marvel: *gets concerned at the sick child* “You haven’t taken him to a hospital?”
Mother: “It’s too expensive! Please! Just this once.”
Marvel: “Uuuuuuuuuuuhhhhh…” ‘Solomon! Help me!’
Solomon: ‘Repeat after me, Billy’ *proceeds to rattle off healing spell*
Marvel: *repeats spell and heals child*
Mother: “Oh, thank you! Thank you!” *hugs child tight* “I’ve never been much of a religious nut, but now I’ll have to start believing more. Thank you so much!”
Marvel: *Little confused by sudden mention of religion* “Your welcome? Have a good day, miss.” *floats off the ground, giving her a little wave before flying off*
or
*Freddy is hanging outside one of a meeting rooms in the Watchtower because he wasn’t allowed in due to the face he looked like a kid. He’s now talking to someone on the phone.
Junior: *talking on a phone he magicked from God knows where while floating a foot or two off the ground*
Kid Flash: *bored out of his mind, leaning against a wall, standing next to him cause he also wasn’t allowed in for the same reason*
Junior: *ends call*
Kid Flash: “Who were ya talking too?”
Junior: “My friend, Cain.”
Kid Flash: “What, like bible Cain?” *was joking*
Junior: “Yup.” *didn’t realize he was joking*
Kid Flash: “What seriously? The Cain from the Bible? The Cain that stabbed his brother? The Cain that’s immortal because he stabbed his brother?”
Junior: “Yup.” *starts typing on phone, a little too nonchalant about the conversation*
Kid Flash: “And Cap just lets you be friends with him?”
Junior: “Uh yeah? Why wouldn’t he? You know he’s friends with him too, right?”
Kid Flash: “Wait really? Shouldn’t they hate each other or something?”
Junior: “No? Cain’s pretty chill.”
Kid Flash: *blinks a couple times at that* “Huh.” *he seems a little surprised*
*The meeting ends and the heroes file out of the meeting room before Kid Flash can ask another question*
#billy batson#captain marvel dc#dc captain marvel#shazam#fawcett#fawcett city#fawcett comics#freddy freeman#mary batson#mary bromfield#wonder woman#diana prince#the flash#barry allen#kid flash#wally west#captain marvel jr#mary marvel
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For context, I’ve attempted to make Popee in blender two times prior to this (2019 and 2020) and they turned out… kinda shitty tbh
The image I posted originally is my model sheet for the third iteration, which is the closest to cannon yet (obv)
He’s in the sculpting process right now. I’m def gonna take my time to get his as accurate as possible before I retopologize him.
I’M AT IT AGAINNNNNNN
#popee fanart#popee the clown#popee the performer#ptp popee#blender#Popee#popee the ぱフォーマー#insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and improving each time but never reaching perfection#or something
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john b had these big firm hands.
not because you’d been studying them or anything, you just very quickly learnt this about him when you’d joined the group — the way the other pogues would complain about aches and knots in their back only to have it quickly resolved by the brunette. with the little crush you’d developed on him, you’d find yourself complaining more and more about your own pains — perhaps when on your period or after a long day, and he’d be happy to help you. that’s what he did, he was a problem solver.
what you failed to realise is how much john b enjoyed it too.
in a general sense, sure. like mentioned, he liked to help people and fix everyone’s problems for them— and being such an active group, it was often physical pains causing them strife. whether it would be a knuckle in popes calf or an elbow in jj’s shoulder, they were appreciative.
“you should be like, studying to do this for a living bro. you got a gift.” the blonde would comment after john b had cracked his shoulder, to which the brunette would shrug it off with a—
“yeah, like i can afford that.”
you don’t realise, but soon enough the routledge boy starts to pay a little more attention to you specifically, and no one knows or cares why enough to comment on it. he’d started to ask, instead of waiting for you to complain about it. asking ‘does this hurt? does this hurt?’ as he moves you in different positions because he thought you looked ‘a little stiff’ that day.
you liked it. you liked holding his attention. john b was the leader, somehow the main character in everyone’s life— so you revelled in the attention he’d give you whilst playing the group chiropractor. it made you feel special when he singled you out.
he seemed to have this belief, that you were way more tense than anyone else in the group. he’d hooked his fingers into the idea that because you happened to have anxiety, your body would too suffer. this might’ve been true, maybe you were more tense than everyone and it showed— probably naturally less comfortable around the group seeing as you were the newest addition, but the likelihood was that john b had only convinced you and everyone else of this because he just adored getting his hands on you.
he likes the way your skin feels soft compared to the callous palms and nicked fingertips of his own. he likes the way the fat of your flesh moulds and succumbs to his touch. he likes the way he’s developed enough natural strength over the years to manoeuvre you any which way he wanted, his own warm little rag doll for the time being that sent his imagination running rampant when he’d put you in more vulnerable positions. he loved the way your brows would furrow when he’d crack the right spot or dig his hands in the right place at the right pressure. the way your lips would part with a little whimper when there’s an audible crack.
his voice was what made it enjoyable for you a lot of the time. not that it didn’t feel great, but john b had a ‘talk you through it’ kind of voice. warm, kind, comforting, rumbles in your ear when he’s slotted up behind you, performing his magic until you click somewhere you didn’t think you could.
“how we feeling? hm?” he’d ask, and you could hear the casual smile in his tone without looking, a face that you didn’t have to look at with your eyes to know it was there because you’d seen it so many times.
his cock would always twitch when you’d respond. the prettiest, whiny tone when you were especially relaxed and off guard, a tone that even had jj’s ears perking up from across the room occasionally. “feels so good, john b.” now you didn’t have to say his name, too.
he told himself it was normal to feel that way about a friend as long as there was a boundary. you were pretty, and soft— he’d be a fool not to find that attractive. what he did feel guilty about, was the indulgence. it wasn’t gentlemanly of him, something he prided himself on being. he couldn’t let anyone know he’d continue the fantasy later on, replaying your satisfied mewls in his brain like a broken record, the sounds morphing and twisting, moulding like clay in the hands of his imagination as he attempts to twist it into sounds of sex. he can still feel the heat of your skin beneath his hands through his minds eye, but this time he’d be pushing your lower back down to make you arch as you take his dick deeper.
he recalls the squishiness of your thighs that one time he worked the knots out, and this time uses the memory to fuel the thought of pushing your thighs up against you whilst nuzzling his nose against your clit and lapping up the juices you’d leaked from him rubbing on your body prior. he hears it again, “feels so good, john b.” but this time your head is thrown back, your tits are spilling from that little bra that peeks from your shirts, your clits throbbing against his tongue.
he makes a mess on his fist each night he thinks about it, and wonders how often he can get away with touching you up under the guise of a massage.
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The Five Year Plan | Gaz x Reader
Note: F!Reader but no gendered terms in this chapter, Fat/Plus sized Reader, Reader is implied to be Black but can be read as WoC, Readers nickname is 'Siggy', there will be no y/n use Content warning: terrible grasp of british-isms, parental angst, sick parent (cancer), some reader backstory for storytelling purposes, talks of pregnancy and readers womb, fatphobia from a parent, food mentions. (lmk if I need to tag something else for filtering!!)
Chapter Three: Don't tell mum
It is an ungodly hour of the morning and you have a sugar hangover and a canopy bed full of empty wrappers.
You’d spent the night crying and cursing stupid posh, blond men with trust funds and selective sperm practices. Which then led you to curse even stupider, infuriating wankers with pretty brown eyes and smooth burnished skin.
(Also the perky twits the two species have tea and procreate with, but you’re trying to do a better job of showing unwavering solidarity with other women. Despite the present fuckery at hand that is.)
A brief glance in the mirror of your vanity reflects the deep dark circles under your eyes and the evidence of your emergency chocolate eclairs on the bodice of your moo-moo. The silk lined linen had been no match for the wild disarray of your hair during the night. You looked quite frightening really. You don’t even need to glance at the framed Olivia Pope photo on your nightstand to know your fictional icon would be utterly disgusted at the state of you.
This would not do.
Sitting up from your pillow you point an accusing finger to the wobbling lipped wretch in the mirror and take a deep steadying breath for fortitude.
"Tits up, buttercup! There's no crying in show business!" you bellow at the watery reflection firmly.
The wretch in the mirror looks no more enthusiastic than before.
Mentally you shrug. Sure the motto is not as an effective motivator as it is with the raspy American accent of your chain smoking paternal aunt, but still. It's the thought that counts! With shoulders back and head high you're determined to expel angst from your body like water off a duck's arse. You force your mouth into a semblance of a smile that doesn't reach your eyes and tumble-scooch out of the nest of blankets in the middle of your bed.
It was Saturday and you had an overbearing mother to visit (and subsequently lie to). If you didn’t get it together she’d smell the bitter notes of ‘Eau de Failure’ wafting over you like a shark scenting blood in the water. So with that in mind, you prepare for war with a nice candle and the motivating sounds of a beloved global hero.
“Breakup, shmake-up! Alexa, be a dear and play Chaka Khan, we need this show back on the road. Pronto!”
An incoming text comes in briefly interrupting your improvised rendition of ‘I’m Every Woman’ while you perform (lounge) in the tub. With suds scarily close to your face you squint at the message from your father with one eye.
> Nurses called, mums in a mood.
You scowl. To be frank there’s not a time as of late where your mum wasn’t in a mood. Waving an arm in the air to dispel the bubbles covering your hand, you type out a text back.
< Gobsmacked, truly. Send rating for level of risk in engaging the matriarch, Skipper.
The reply comes in seconds. You can imagine your tech averse father having already expected the request and having a reply at the ready.
> Threat level five, Captain.
You scrunch your nose and make a whine of irritation.
Bugger. The scale only went up to six.
With a sigh you send a simple ‘Roger that’ and sink lower into the bathtub. It was probably best to add more bubbles and break out the epsom salts. You were going to need all the relaxation you could get.
An hour later you’re dressed and slathered in body butter, glistening like a plump glazed ham.
Outside your flat you’re shifting your bag around to find the knock off sunglasses somewhere traversing at the bottom when the sound of the door across the wall causes you to tense. Kyle stands in his doorway shuffling with a small plastic bag in hand and a sheepish smile. He’s blinking sleep from his eyes and scrunching his face as if the light filtering in the drab hallway disturbs him greatly.
Your gut clenches seeing the serene yellow glow cascading across his brown skin. (It wasn’t fair that even the sun was a biased ninny and painted the bane of your existence out to be an ethereal creature.)
You give him a look up and down that you hope is less awestruck and all venom. It’s hard not to get distracted by the low hang of his gray sweatpants and the compression shirt that encompasses his broad chest.
Sweet blueberries, the man dressed like a common whore.
Sniffing you turn your nose up at him, shoving your sunglasses on your face when you finally reach them.
“Garrick.”
He smiles wider despite your dry tone. “Good morning, love.”
“Were you just standing there at the door waiting for me?”
Kyle gives you a flat look in return with slightly less chipper-ness. He shifts his arms to rest in a cross, the bag swinging from the crook of his elbow like a metronome. His biceps bulge in a way that makes you want to clutch your pearls.
(Or bite him. Hard.)
“I wasn’t waiting at the door.” He’s not quite mocking the cadence of your voice but you still wonder if you could get away with braining him with your overstuffed bag.
“I just happened to be nearby and I know you always leave around this time on Saturdays.”
You roll your eyes.
“So you were waiting at the door then. You know Garrick stalking is illegal in the UK. I would hope you’d know that being military and such.”
Kyle narrows his eyes into slits. His nostrils flare as his once bright smile turns sardonic, gravely affronted.
“Don’t know if you’re always such a charm in the mornings, love, but like I said, wasn't waiting around.” He clips. You are incensed at the degree of excitement that shoots through you at his rare snark.
(You make a mental note to have one of the cute nurses at mum’s care center check you over for possible head trauma.)
“Besides,” He gives you a pointed look. “You would know something about illegal acts considering you’re the one who got banned from the resident’s meetings for nicking the snacks.”
The gasp of offense you let out is involuntary. Morning Kyle was not only scandalously dressed but also very rude!
“I did not steal anything, Garrick, they were complimentary for the residents!” You snark haughtily, pushing your sunglasses up your nose with a manicured finger. “I happen to be a resident you know and I gave my compliments when I took them.”
Kyle lets out a bark of laughter. The sleep layered tenor makes your toes curl in your sensible slippers.
Bugger he was pretty.
“Is there something you need from me?” you ask when his laugh trickles off into chuckles.
Kyle sobers and shoots you a sheepish glance. “Ah yeah actually. I wanted to give you these.”
Kyle maneuvers the bag off his arm and extends it to you. With an abundance of caution you accept the offering like one would handle a ticking bomb and peek inside.
An assortment of moon cakes greets you at the bottom of the plastic.
You can smell the crisp outer shell and the sweet red bean filling of the pastry signifying their freshness. You do the mental math in your head and realize he’d had to have been up at the crack of dawn to get in line for them at the shops around the way.
The treats sold out in minutes and you very rarely got the opportunity to get them on your own during the season as you were prone to sleeping in.
“What’s this for?”
“It’s an apology.” He gives your bewildered look a self deprecating grimace. “I don’t know what the other night was about but I wanted to apologize for hurting your feelings.”
Okay, no. Can’t have any of that now.
You straighten up and put your hands on your hips. Kyle’s eyes follow your movements, staring for longer than polite. You clear your throat and he looks away when you give him an eyebrow raise in return.
“Firstly, Garrick, you didn’t hurt my feelings, don't insult me. I was just taken aback.” pausing in consideration you peer over the rim of your glasses at the man. “What exactly did Madelyn tell you?”
Kyle shifts, one side of his mouth twitching upwards bringing your attention to the facial scar on his cheek.
“Nothing, actually. Just a lot of crying and mumbling about some Hugo. I honestly thought she was talking about a dog before I realized it was some chap she's seeing.”
You hum. Interesting, really.
You’d been sure he’d known more than he’d let on or at the very least that Madelyn would prove to be the unsavory sort to spill the beans on the sister wife shuffle you’d been unwittingly involved in.
A glance at your watch shows you that you’ve spent too much time dawdling. No need to ruffle mum’s feathers further.
“Well, this has been lovely, Garrick, but I have to cut out. Places to go, people to see and such.” You shake the bag in your hand in emphasis, “Thanks for the goodies. it ‘s very... Sweet of you.”
“You’re welcome, love.”
You’re glad you thought to wear your shades, the smile he gives you is infused with satisfaction and warmth. (He really should be much more careful where he aims those things he’s liable to blind someone.)
With a twirl of your wrist you give Kyle a halfhearted wave goodbye. He watches you until the lift closes.
What a strange duck.
You find your father at his usual haunt within the oncology unit of the extended care center.
“Step away from the vending machine, Skipper. I come bearing tastier morsels.”
You smile at his wide eyed panic as he turns to you with shoulders to his ears. He curses low and pulls you into a bear hug, tight enough that a passing nurse shushes you for the squawk you let out. Your father’s miserably dramatic groan vibrates throughout your own chest and he lets out a puff of air.
“You’ve gotta announce yourself kid, I nearly shit myself.”
With a laugh you poke a finger into his rib causing him to jerk away from you. “It’s shat, do try to act like a proper Brit won’t you? Besides what's the fun in announcing myself when I can catch you red handed doing something you shouldn’t. Mum will be pissed you’re wasting money on vending machine biscuits ya’ know.”
Your father gives you a droll look when you snatch his change and shove it in your own pocket.
(Someone has to pay the child tax after all.)
“Shit or shat, same difference and you would be the one responsible for cleaning me up, brat. And, I’ve been divorced from your mother for nearly a decade so I don’t care what she won’t like. I'm a grown ass man, I’m not afraid of her.”
Your eyes roll so far to the back of your head you swear you can see your medulla. He was so full of it.
“Yeah? So, if I told you not to tell mum something you’re not going to do that thing where you blurt it out the second she looks at you?”
He puts a hand over his heart in reply. “Of course I wouldn’t say anything. I’m a little offended right now, when have I ever run off at the mouth.”
You stomp your feet in irritation. He didn’t get to play clueless!
“Literally all the time. You’re the reason she sent me to that awful boarding school for nicking one of your cigarettes! I’m still scared of nuns you know- stop laughing!”
Your father continues to chuckle and pats your face. When you swat his hand away the look he gives you is unimpressed and flippant.
“In my defense, you were thirteen and had no business smoking in the first place, much less skipping class to do it. I had to put fear into you so you didn’t come out a delinquent.”
“By telling mum?” You quirk a brow.
“Course, what’s scarier?” He gives you a smug look, linking his arms in yours. You both set a pace down the hall in the direction of your mothers room.
“Besides, I wouldn’t be a father if I hadn't done whatever it took, you were very rebellious and snotty at the time. But still, it worked out didn’t it? Got a cool nickname out of it. Siggy, the chain smoking lawyer.”
You start to glare at him but the word father makes you wince and he catches it. “What’s the look?”
“So about being a father,” you slow to a stop just outside your mothers door. You give the nurse at reception a tight smile and try to come up with a way to say the thing.
“Hugo got someone pregnant.”
It takes the old man some time for it to click. You watch his mind whir putting together the things you didn’t say. Finally he levels you with a smirk much like a cat who drank the cream would wear.
“No shit? Didn’t think he had the cojones for that, you’d kept them in your purse long enough.”
The look you give him is unimpressed, he snickers. How dreadful, you were being parented by a child.
“Yes well,” you look away “according to him I wasn’t mother material and he dumped me for the other woman.”
Your father hums “Tragic that. Didn’t like him very much so I can’t say I’ll miss him. He send you off with something?”
He motions his head at the plastic bag you fiddled with subconsciously. With a snort you hand it over, watching his eyes light ups when he digs through its contents.
“No, gift from my neighbor.” you wait until he’s taken a moon cake out of its individual wrapping before leveling him a glare. “Under no circumstances are you allowed to tell mum that Hugo and I broke up.”
Your father shrugs off your concern with a wave. “Yup got it. Won’t hear a peep out of me about it.” He takes a big bite that sends pastry flecks over his shirt and you roll your eyes.
Facing the door to the hospital room you roll your shoulders back and prepare yourself mentally.
The sound of a wrapper crinkly disturbs whatever inner peace you search for in the universe.
“Please Siggy, I served with guys in the Navy with less seriousness going into battle.”
Good grief.
“Eat your sweets please.” You cluck, “I need to meditate before I walk in there.”
Your father ha-rumps in reply but thankfully keeps quiet. When you feel some semblance of self control you shoot a look behind you.
“Remember not a single word!”
Your mother is propped against mounds of pillows. She looks every bit like a queen holding court despite the tubing and wires running along her body. Her sallow skin is grayish in tint, far from the myriad of browns you remember from your youth.
Yet her scowl remains sharp and dagger-like in nature.
“Oh, how nice of you to show up. I thought this was your way of telling me you want me to die alone.”
Your father shoots you a look as he finishes off the cake. Threat level five indeed.
You smile at her sheepishly which only makes her glare more.
“I got tied up with my neighbor, sorry mum. I’m here now though. What’s been going on?”
Your mother says nothing instead choosing to follow you with her eyes as you make your way to the armchair beside her bed. When you’re seated she sucks her teeth and looks you up and down before gesturing at your still standing father with her head.
“Why did you bring this traitorous shadow on my doorstep, eh? I already have a sickness, why must you make me suffer more?”
Your father rolls his eyes before gesturing a thumb over his shoulder.
“Alright… glad we had this talk. I’ll just run to the cafeteria.” Your father turns tail and leaves without waiting for a reply. Your mother gives you a look.
“Wisdom chases your father but unfortunately he is faster.”
“Please, that’s mean, mum.” You ignore her brush off, “He comes to visit with me every weekend even when he doesn’t have to, maybe you should give him a break.”
Your mother is silent, choosing to disregard your scolding by facing away and watching the drama playing out on the telly. You allow the dismissal, watching along with her and sharing occasional comments on the plot.
During an advertisement break she folds her hands into her lap and shifts to get a good look at you.
“Are you pregnant yet?”
You jerk back into the cushions of the chair, “No!”
She frowns. “Why not, you are getting old?
And here we go.
“Mum,” you start carefully, “You say this every time you see me and I have to remind you once more that I’m not old. It’s actually pretty rude, you know, to suggest I need a baby because I’m aging.”
She huffs adjusting the nasal cannula. You look at the IV in her thin hand and the feeling of wrongness makes your body vibrate with anxiety.
She shouldn’t be here.
You don’t get a chance to think about it anymore when she leans over the railing of her bed to stare deep into your eyes.
“What’s happened to that Humphrey fellow, what is he saying about your empty womb?”
For fucks sake!
“It’s Hugo and he’s got nothing to say about my womb because it’s not his bloody-” you refuse to amend the curse when she swats at you with the hand closest to you, “it’s not his bloody business mother, I’m not a breeding mare!”
She narrows her eyes, jaw working as she contemplates your tense shoulders. “Where is he?”
You recoil. For. Fucks. Sake!
You try to look casual while sitting back in the armchair, your unseeing glaze pretending to be interested in the period piece that now plays on the in-unit television.
“He’s around or whatever. Doing fiancé things and all that jazz. Super happy. Great guy, truly the best.”
Your mother lets out a sharp ‘Ha!’ She calls your full name in the tone. The ‘I have birthed you and I will end you’ like filicide is her right as a mother, tone. You sink low into the chair.
“What, mother?”
“You are lying, I can tell. Where is Harold and what happened to your engagement? If you’ve run off another man I will cut you from my will.”
You snort humorlessly.
“Like I said Hugo is fine where he is. Besides you don’t have a will, I know because I oversee your legal paperwork and you refuse to sit down and draft one with me.”
She mumbles something unintelligible about everyone speaking death onto her when your father walks into the room with a cup of coffee.
You see the second your mother sets up a plan of attack and your father does too in the way he freezes in fear like a doe in the path of a wolf.
“Where is the child’s husband-”
“He broke up with her!" He blurts with wide, dodgy eyes, "Got some girl pregnant and ran off.”
He returns your disgusted look with a shrug. “Sorry, Siggy got nervous.”
Seriously, the man needed some backbone! He’s not even married to her any more! You’re opening your mouth to lay into him when your mother launches her own attack on you both.
“Do not call my child that awful name, you discombobulated fool!” you mouth the word ‘discombobulated’, the woman was creative with her insults, you’ll give her that.
“And you!” she wags her finger in your direction with a stiff lip, “You should be ashamed of yourself for lying to your own ailing mother. Quickly, how did you manage to run this one off? I am dying to hear it.”
Primly you sit up, adjusting the hem of your shirt around your tummy. Your time in court was much less daunting, to be honest, but you’re a believer in faking it until you make it.
“Mumsy, I didn’t run anyone off, thank you very much. In my defense he was a cheating oaf and he is free to do what he wants, it's no skin off my back.”
She laughs haughtily and it makes you feel awful.
“He wouldn’t have left if you gave him children!”
The dark desire to mention that giving a man a child hadn’t worked out in her favor when you catch your father’s look. He shakes his head, knowing you well enough to pluck the vicious thought from your mind.
You swallow back the biting retort in defeat.
“Mum please. Hugo said he didn’t want kids right away” you mentally add the ‘children with you’ with a frown, “I believed him when he said it and that’s not something I should be punished for.”
Your mother sits back in bed, raising her hands in the air in defeat.
“Everyone else in the family has a grandchild or three!” She cuts her eyes at you, “Why was I the one cursed with a child who buys ugly bags instead of raising babies.”
The pit in your stomach grows as tears prickle your eyes. “My bags aren’t ugly and its very mean of you to suggest that.” you whimper dejectedly.
Your father takes a step and puts his hand on your shoulder.
“I think that’s enough, we should be comforting our child not being insulting. You didn’t like the man anyways so what's the issue?”
Your mother just tuts and closes her eyes like she couldn’t be arsed to have you both in sight a moment longer.
“He was also a fool.” She opens one eye to peek at you, “Your cousin is expecting again by the way.”
So that's what this was about, you snort.
“Yes well, terrible for you to compare me to my underage cousin when she’s barely a teenager with her second child on the way. You know as well as I do the family was in a kerfuffle about it the first time!”
Your father hums in agreement, voicing his support (a little late after having caused this mess, but still.)
“You should be proud to have a kid who has degrees, a great career -an admittedly shit flat,” He ignores your sound of objection “but otherwise really fabulous things going on. Say something nice, please.”
Your mother sniffs “I’m getting older and who knows if this sickness takes me to glory. The child obviously wants me to die without a grandbaby.”
Your sigh is deep and loud in the room. You know for a fact she's bringing up her cancer to twist the knife in deeper. Yet you heard from her yourself that the doctors crowed about the progress of her health.
“Mum please don’t keep saying stuff like that. It really hurts my feelings because you know I love you and I wouldn’t know what to do without you.”
You watch your mother fight to not soften with your admission. She doesn't look directly at you, glancing more in your general direction. You place a hand over hers on top of the covers, squeezing her fingers tight. The dull shine of her wedding band catches the light of the side table lamp.
She squeezes your hand back and lifts it out from under yours to pat your fingers. You know it's the only form of apology you’ll get from her. She does ruin it though, moments after.
“Your wrists are like sausage casings, have you gotten bigger?”
Yes well, that was your sign that it was time to go.
“Well lovely as always to see you mum,” you shift to a stand reaching for your bag at your feet and patting your father on the arm. “Think I’m going to pop out and consider my life choices and all.”
She tells you not to be cheeky when you kiss her cheek. She ignores your father’s goodbye and continues on with watching her shows.
On the walk out front your father stops you from leaving. He lights up a cigarette, the cloying menthol aroma turning your stomach.
(You never could pick one up again after that traumatizing moment in secondary school.)
Your father is quiet for some time, flicking the ash of his cigarette occasionally in deep thought. You don’t make an effort to break the silence, thinking of your own recollection of another successfully humiliating interaction with your mother. They’d been happening a lot more as of late and it was starting to wear a hole in your heart.
When you shuffle in place your father finally looks at you with a softened glint in his eye. He stumps out his ciggie and places a hand on your shoulder.
“You and your mother are just alike.”
Snorting, you look off to the darkening parking lot, settling your gaze on a flickering street lamp in the distance. You try to ignore the warbling view from behind the tears in your eyes.
“Wouldn’t let her hear that. I’m sure she’d pop her lid at the very suggestion.” You don’t mean to, but bitterness coats your tongue before you can stop yourself, “Poor, fat, pathetic Siggy mucking her perfect plans up as always.”
Your father shoots you a warning glance, not liking your tone or the self deprecation dripping from your mouth. Being under his steel gaze makes you feel childish but you refuse to show it, meeting his look head on.
Because like it or not it was the truth. Whether she said it outright she wasn’t satisfied with your person.
You’d grown up always being on the wrong end of your mothers ire. No matter how hard you tried otherwise. But there wasn’t an excellent mark you could get, a partner you could bring home, or even a diet you could go on. You were always just… lacking.
Your father sighs in the night.
“You’re just as hard headed as her, you know that? Just as quick to cut down an idea that doesn’t fit your vision.”
Catching the defeated slump of your shoulders he calls your name. When you don’t look at him he tucks a finger beneath your chin forcing you to meet his gaze. Love and sadness sit on his weathered skin like a cloak.
“It’s not a bad thing, Captain. I know being all brass and bull dick helps you at that fancy ass firm of yours but it keeps you from smelling the roses from time to time.”
You wrinkle your nose at the crassness, not sure how to take being compared to bulls testicles. He continues on.
“You also got her flare for dramatics and her ambitious nature. It’s why you two have been butting heads since you could set up and talk.”
Whoa, not the case!
“She butts heads with me!” You cry out, “I don’t know what I could possibly be doing to trigger her but I’m exhausted figuring it out. I just want-“
The lump in your throat stops you and you take a shaky breath.
“I just want her to be on my side for once? Instead of being worried about me embarrassing her in front of the family.”
He gives you a sad smile.
“She’s just scared. Been on the wrong end of the hyenas before, I think she tries to nag you into submission in hopes she can spare you half the pain.”
That you can’t help but give an unbelieving look to.
“Please she acts like the head hyena most days. It’s hard to believe she’s ever been judged the way she judges me.”
Your father hums humorlessly, wrapping an arm over your shoulder to smush you into his side.
“You’d be surprised. She’d gut me, then stuff me over the mantle for saying it, but I have it on good authority that she’s on thin ice with her side of the family as well.”
You sniffle past the tears on your lashes, blinking to peer at him. “Well don’t leave me in suspense, old man. What’s the story behind that?”
Your father chuffs and flicks the tip of your nose, you whine rubbing the sore spot left behind.
“I got your old man alright, you little shit.” He laughs boisterously, “They’re pissed she dared marry me, an American. Then by doing me the honor of birthing you, the most loving, headstrong tornado of a child a man can ask for, despite their objections.”
The forehead kiss he plants on you brings more watery fluid to your eyes. You hide the emotion by frowning and pretending to wipe off imaginary residue from your forehead.
“I’m not following.” You snark flatly. It earns you a pinch.
“They’re pissed she went against them then had the nerve to agree to divorce me when it was all said and done. That’s on top of inconveniencing them by getting sick. Your mum’s been on the chopping block far longer than you’ve been and the pressure is getting to her.”
He lets out a long suffering sigh and you imagine he’s reliving the hard years that came about after the divorce. The constant yelling and coldness within your childhood home still sends ice down your spine. Your father notices the resulting shiver and rubs your arm to provide warmth into your limbs.
“Despite our differences, I know your mum is just worried you’ll face the same treatment she did when she went and ran off with me, the ‘no good American’ while on vacation.”
You sigh, still not really understanding. It was definitely unfortunate their treatment of your parents' marriage. You’d witnessed it in the slick remarks of your aunties and the other elders over the years.
Your father had done what he could to shield you from figuring out his ostracism up until he’d asked your mother for a divorce.
It wasn’t fair to either of them that the family was so caught up in outdated traditions to see your parents had loved each other once. But you couldn’t live like this and you say so.
“You said it yourself, you've been divorced for ages. It’s not fair that she puts so much pressure on me when I don’t give a damn about what they say. I’ve never amounted to anything they want and I refuse to exhaust myself trying to meet her expectations.”
Your father nods in agreement.
“That’s valid, Siggy. Ultimately I just want you to make your own path. I’ll talk to her about laying off, promise.” He cocks his head and squints at you.
“What?” You give him a worried perusal.
“Are you still mad that I spilled the beans about the fiancé situation?”
You laugh, pinching him around the middle. “I’m still very upset actually. You sold me out so quickly, it’s like you didn’t even try!”
He shrugs shamelessly. “It was me or you. I had to put myself first in the end.”
You roll your eyes and enjoy the swaying hug he keeps you in. After some time he speaks, peering at you.
“Your little friend Blue is right, by the way, that Hugo man does look like a chihuahua.”
“Dad, please.”
“I’m just saying, Captain, might have gotten lucky after all. wouldn’t want you to go off and birth a litter of pups with a french accent.”
Your resulting cackle echoes loudly into the night.
A/N lol sorry for taking forever for an update and all the parental angst lmao. If you can’t tell I suffer from mommy issues and I was avoiding writing this chapter. Excited, next part the good shit begins :’D
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#the five year plan#kyle garrick x black reader#kyle gaz garrick#kyle gaz x reader#kyle gaz x you#baby face
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notes on Primo's characterization 💖
let's talk about Primo! i think he's a really, really interesting character!
i've said before that i think Primo is the only one of the brothers who takes the whole ~satanic death cult trying to bring the end of the world~ thing seriously.
Primo was indeed very serious about the cult. maybe too serious? even some other members of the cult dislike that about him.
NAMELESS GHOUL: The first Papa Emeritus was someone very rigid, very strict, and very solemn. A real son of a bitch! (laughs) To be honest, we don’t miss him at all! MyRock #44 (2017) translated from French by @ a-wandering-ghoulette)
the best source of Primo characterization is a 2010 interview with Sweden Rock Magazine where Primo and the Nameless Ghouls kidnapped the interviewer. though i quote *a lot* of it here, i strongly recommend reading the full interview because it is truly fascinating. notably, Primo himself speaks in this interview rather than a Nameless Ghoul.
Primo is a misanthrope who believes humans are "vermin" that have doomed themselves due to their "intellectual decline". in his eyes, they are unworthy of life and will eventually be destroyed.
“Human beings are vermin, thus the end of humanity is ultimately a good thing. We play but a vanishingly microscopic role in this cosmos of nothingness.”
The devil-worshipping organization that the Ghost leader speaks of is claimed to operate on a worldwide level and among many different areas: from politics and business to religious movements, in the entertainment industry and on the street. It does not have a name, but its existence “can most easily be explained as a living and ongoing result of humanity’s intellectual decline and eventual decay.”
Primo affirms Ghost's mission statement as originally presented in the band's old Myspace page: to spread the devil's influence and convince other people that humanity deserves its inevitable end.
According to the statement on the band’s page, Ghost’s main mission is to trick mankind into believing that the end of the world is ultimately a good thing. “Our only task is to accompany the world’s downfall.”
A question comes to mind: wouldn’t the band, which with its poppy hard rock could by all means appeal to a much wider audience than ordinary black metal acts, gain more attention by engaging in more commercial modes of expression? “We have other entertainment groups within our organization who are doing just that. Our task is to emphasize the devil’s message in the part of society that has, to varying degrees, already accepted it. It’s directed at the social grouping that goes to the type of concerts that we perform. Our goal is to be able to carry out our black mass, our ritual, for them. Other members of the cult work with far more subtle modes of expressions, better suited for consumers who are not as receptive to the truth.”
though he openly calls the organization a cult, his religious belief is sincere.
to Primo, the band's anonymity and use of costumes are a way of showing reverence and humility in their task. if Satan is the Father, and Antichrist is the Son, the band is the (unholy) Ghost: the force which connects humanity to the power of the Father and the Son. for the audience to think of Primo or the Nameless Ghouls as individual people would distract from their message. when he takes on the role of Papa, he becomes one with their cause.
You refer to yourselves as a group of nameless spirits - should this be taken literally? Is the band actually something other than human? “To make it easier for mortals to deal with the fact that we, as individuals, have no significance in this experience, we have chosen to act as ghosts - hollow and diffuse.”
Why did you, as a leader, choose an outfit so similar to the one worn by the Catholic Pope? “For the Pope it is a way of showing reverence and seriousness, and at the same time humility before his task. He uses it to step into the body that is the essence and the fog, something we advocate too. It is our way of becoming one with the fog.” Things become clearer when the leader speaks of the meaning behind the name of the band: “Akin to the tripartite view so stubbornly proclaimed by the Christian faith, we too believe there is magic in the concept of three and we are part of it: there is a god, Satan, a son, Antichrist, and a ghost in the middle that is the inexplicable - the fog.”
Primo has a theistic view of Satan, believing he is real deity who speaks through / inspires the band's music. in this way, the Ghoul Writer could be considered a sort of prophet to him.
That’s right. Ghost have their music written for them. In one online interview, a so-called “ghoul writer” is mentioned who supposedly composes melodies and lyrics with the help of ungraspable powers from beyond – devilish whispers instruct him which words should accompany which chords, and so forth. “There is indeed a human individual who composes patterns of tones and words which operate ever so beautifully in unison. However, I am of the belief that there is a higher being who speaks through this individual,” asserts the Pope.
like a proper cultist, Primo cannot imagine having a life / identity outside of the cult. he remembers that there was once a time when he was not a member of the cult, but he cannot remember what it was like to be that person. his devotion to the cult has been a core part of who he is for a very long time.
How he got involved in this movement and dedicated his life to Satan, he has a hard time answering. After a long silence, the singer says: “I find it very difficult to remember the life I had before I found the darkness. It is therefore very difficult to answer your question. My memory doesn’t go that far.” Surely the Pope must remember something? “I cannot remember a time when I did not find myself part of the dark energy. That does not mean that I remember nothing from my past life, only that I cannot remember how I felt then. This is because it was a time when I did not know very much.” Was it by coming into contact with other members of the organization that you found this darkness? “As I said, I do not remember when this happened. But I think…” He chooses his words carefully. “… I believe that, like many others, I was woven into this dark through subtle, human components found within it. Once again, my intellect was not as developed as it is now, so I have great difficulty in explaining what happened - when and where, and to what extent.”
while he cannot say exactly what happened to him or when, Primo seems to have had genuine spiritual experiences. he was always connected to the dark energy, and he feels that he became awakened and that his intellect has developed since he truly found his faith.
despite being a misanthrope, Primo admits he was brought into the darkness by some sort of human connection. he might actually have the capacity to care about some people.
in a Kerrang feature where Primo gets quizzed on "demonology, serial killers and stuff like that", he says the cult knew witches who were burned at the stake, but he doesn't like to talk about it. it stood out to me that he says he doesn't want to talk about it, because he speaks so openly and matter-of-factly about other dark / upsetting topics. at the very least, it appears he doesn't like it when bad things happen to other members of the cult.
WHAT DOES THE PHRASE MALLEUS MALEFICARUM TRANSLATE AS IN ENGLISH? A) HAMMER OF THE WITCHES B) HAMMER OF THE DEMONS C) HAMMER OF THE GODS PAPA: “That would be the witch-hammer. We knew some Witches, but unfortunately a lot of them were taken away.” KERRANG!: “As in burned at the stake?” PAPA: “Correct. But I don’t like to talk about that. (Answer: A) ✔
he seems to be quite pleased about other people dying, though. and he is certain they all go to Hell.
6. NAME ANY TWO OF THE THREE ORIGINAL MEMBERS OF MAYHEM. PAPA: “Though one was not an original member two of the band are actually burning in Hell, and they’re good guests, certainly. But yes, I will say Euronymous and Necrobutcher.” (Answer: Euronymous, Necrobutcherr, Manheim) ✔ 7. WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THE SHIP THAT WAS DISCOVERED FLOATING ABANDONED AND UNMANNED IN THE ATLANTIC OCEAN IN DECEMBER 1872? PAPA: “It was that ship with such a heavenly name, the lady Mary Celeste.” KERRANG!: “And can you finally tell us where all the people went?” PAPA: I’ll check the records. Obviously they’re all in Hell now, but the way they got there is a little cloudy. But then our Lord too works in mysterious ways…“ (Answer: Mary Celeste) ✔
some of Primo's other responses in this article reveal he has a dark sense of humor and perhaps cruel inclinations. when talking about possessions done by the cult, he says "sometimes you just want to do it for the hell of it" and "you want to make a bit of sport out of it", referring to a possession that (allegedly) influenced a serial killer. he refers to the victims of these possessions as "poor [name]", but his remarks on their misfortune don't indicate any actual remorse or sympathy. it might even be intentionally ironic.
5. WHICH PAINTER ALLEGEDLY UNDERWENT AN EXORCISM IN 1947? PAPA: “Poor Salvador Dali. You know we had his missus possessed as well, all in the name of Satan…” KERRANG!: Is possession something that’s done for serious reasons or just to pass the time? “Well sometimes you just want to do it for the hell of it…” (Answer: Salvador Dali) ✔
13. WHAT AMERICAN SERIAL KILLER CLAIMS HE WAS COMPELLED TO COMMIT HIS MURDERS BY A DEMON THAT POSSESSED HIS NEIGHBOUR’S DOG? PAPA: 'That was that poor boy, the Son Of Sam. That sure was a successful possession, although it did involve far too much crotch-sniffing and turd-eating.“ KERRANG: "Is it easier to possess a dog than to possess a person?” PAPA: “Not necessarily, but you want to make a bit of sport out of it.” (Answer: David Berkowitz/Son Of Sam) ✔
also, many of the events Primo speaks about would've happened before he was born or when he was very young, so it seems he's studied the cult's history very well, and he keeps tabs on their current activities. he does his research!
and as a fun fact: Primo is pretty good at math :)
14. IF YOU’RE TRICK OR TREATING AND THREE HOUSES GIVE YOU SEVEN SWEETS, TWO GIVE YOU FOUR, AND ONE GIVES YOU NINE, AND YOUR PARENTS THEN DOUBLE WHAT YOU HAVE, HOW MANY SWEETS DO YOU END UP WITH? PAPA: “76.” KERRANG!: “That was alarmingly fast, sir. Are good mathematical skills important when you’re burning in the fiery pits of Hell?” PAPA: “We all have our different strengths, but of course the number we are most used to is 666…” (Answer: 76) ✔
there's not a lot of information about Primo, and what exists is hard to find, but i live to bring knowledge to the people 🫡. these are all the sources i have on hand that talk about Primo. if anyone else has other articles / videos talking about Primo, i'd really appreciate it if you shared them!
#this one is more of a notes post than an analysis post#but i think this stuff is worth sharing!#papa emeritus i#primo#analysis#quotes#the band ghost lore#radley post#headcanon#? not really but i'll put it in the tag anyway
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On October 4th, 2023, Mario Kart Tour received its final content update. After this day, no more new tours would come to the game, with it instead cycling through past tours. I didn't respect the game all that much, but I do think it's a bit sad we won't get to see any new racers or alternate outfits for a while now...
Or will we?
We've received intel from an anonymous source that this spring, something BIG is coming to Mario Kart Tour. A brand new tour, with new content, to commemorate the season! I'll let the leaked description speak for itself...
"He is risen, and so is #MarioKartTour! Celebrate Easter with the all-new Vatican Tour! Race through the sacred streets of the pontiff's home turf in the new Vatican Velodrome track, and save up your Rubies to nab Kamek (Pope) in the Spotlight Shop- along with a whole host of communion-tastic goodies! This heavenly tour is set to grace your mobile device this season!"
We even got an early look at Kamek's new Pope alt! A miter really suits him, don't you think? Our sources tell us that his unique trick animations include performing the sign of the cross, and sprinkling holy water around him! Even in the heat of a race, Kamek (Pope) loves his neighbor and blesses his fellow competitors!
Kamek (Pope)'s signature kart is the Turbo Tabernacle! What, did you expect a Popemobile? Don't you know the Vatican doesn't like that nickname? I can't believe you would expect such blasphemy here. Our leaker was kind enough to provide this mockup, showing its wafer wheels as well as the new glider, the INRI Scroll! With this glider, you can feel like YOU'RE the one being crucified!
We hope you're as excited as we are for the upcoming Vatican Tour! It would be easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it would be to resist playing Mario Kart Tour this Easter season!
#mario kart tour#kamek#kamek (pope)#vatican tour#vatican velodrome#turbo tabernacle#inri#easter#mario#april fools
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Imagine Phantom and Aurora hearing Copia growl for the first time.
They're finally all together in a full rehearsal for the first time since the newbies were summoned. Phantom and Aurora have made remarkable progress, both as musicians and as new additions to the band ghoul pack. They've gotten enough technical skill down that they can actually loosen up and have fun in rehearsal!
Copia is up at the front of the room with Cirrus, having her run through her Mummy Dust solo. This leaves everyone to their own devices for a bit, and the energy in the room is bright and silly. Aurora is practically weeping on the floor, desperately trying to catch her breath from laughing so hard at Cumulus, who is quietly performing her background vocals to Rats in her best Minnie Mouse impression. Swiss is also goofing off, doing a silly, flailing dance around Mountain's drum kit, BADLY humming the Miasma sax solo. Mountain is only kind of dancing along in his seat, most of his energy devoted to watching Swiss' hips. Dew and Rain are offering feedback to Phantom, who's insisting on showing them the many poses he wants to try holding while playing guitar.
Once Copia and Cirrus are happy with the adjustments they've made, he claps his hands to call his ghoul pack back to attention. The energy is so good, everyone is buzzing with it, and he knows how to direct it.
"Alright, alright, my lovely ghouls," he practically crows, "Mummy Dust! Let's take it from the top! I'll join in this time. Phantom, Aurora, give it your all, yes? Let's run the whole thing for Cirrus, then we'll tighten up some of those cues. Mountain, Phantom, bring us in!"
And just like that, they're off. Almost immediately, Swiss is giggling at Phantom strutting around like a little rooster. He's bouncing along so much as he watches Phantom that he's messing up his own rhythm on guitar. Copia, determined to avoid being derailed so instantly, frantically waves Swiss' attention to him and then emphatically gestures to get him back on beat. As such, he misses his first lyric, but Aurora and Cumulus nail their timing. They harmonize beautifully, holding hands and swaying their hips as they lean into their performance.
Copia is thrilled. His heart is racing alongside Mountain's drumming, Rain's bass buzzing in his bones. He opens his mouth and absolutely throws himself into the first verse, only to be drowned out a few beats in by a horrific, metallic scratching sound.
He whirls around to find both of his newest summons in apparent distress. Aurora seems to have tripped and fallen on her ass, back pressed to Cumulus' legs. Phantom is frozen in place, wide eyes, clutching his guitar so tightly his claws are surely leaving impressions. Both of them are panting, tails lashing. Neither of them will look at Copia, staring steadfastly to the side, chins tipped up. The room is dead silent, save for a tiny, reedy whine coming from Aurora.
Suddenly, Swiss and Rain are cackling. Cumulus is also giggling as she gets down on her knees by Aurora, cooing to her and scratching at the base of her horns. Dew is grinning like an idiot as he gently pets the back of Phantom's neck, where all of his fur is standing up like an agitated dog.
"Eh, what is going on?" Papa asks, frozen in place. He's not sure what went wrong, and certainly not sure what to do.
"Oh, everything is alright, Papa," Cirrus says, drumming her claws along the top of her keyboard as she smiles at the new summons. "We just... Forgot to warn the newbies."
"Warn them?"
Cirrus hums. "Your growl. When you sing like that, you sound very dominant, Papa. It can be... intense, even when we know it's coming."
"Ah. Um." All of Copia's confusion and concern for his ghouls immediately and painfully transitions to embarrassment and... something fluttering, not yet nameable, beneath his ribs.
"That's our satanic pope," Rain sighs dreamily, "Always so eloquent." He yelps when Mountain pelts a drumstick at his back, nailing him directly between his shoulder blades.
"I apologize," Copia starts slowly, wringing his hands. He feels sweat prickling along his hairline, his clothes are suddenly far too warm. "I hadn't realized my performance would have this, ah, effect. I don't recall this happening before?"
Cirrus and Swiss are suddenly flashing brilliant, pointed smiles.
"Oh, don't worry about that, Papa," Swiss purrs, "When the rest of us were new, we all had the surprise spoiled for us."
"A tragedy, really," Cirrus agrees, though her smile doesn't budge. "I remember how I felt my first time, and I knew what was coming. We wanted to make sure Rory and The Bug got the full effect!"
"A little mean," Cumulus says, "But I think you'll find they aren't too upset about it." She presses a kiss between Aurora's horns, but the breathless little ghoulette barely seems to notice. Her gaze is locked on Copia.
"Yeah," Phantom rasps, "I'm okay, Papa." Copia manages to break eye contact with Rory, only to barely choke back a moan at the sight of Phantom. The little ghoul is slumped back on Dew, who's purring and massaging Phantom's scruff. There's a healthy blush glowing across his nose and cheeks, and his hips are twitching against his guitar.
Copia coughs and adjusts his jacket. "Well. Okie dokie." He's fumbling for something to say, anything, when blessedly, Mountain chimes in.
"Well, should we take it from the top?"
"Eh, are you sure that's a good-"
"They gotta get used to it, Papa!" Cirrus says sweetly, "Just like the rest of us."
"Hmm. Okay. Yes. Yessiree Bob, even." Copia hems and haws for a moment, clapping his hands a bit as he considers whether trying again when his new summons are clearly in a state is a good idea.
"Papa? I want to do it again."
That unnamable feeling behind Papa's ribs shifts, stirring its wings at the breathiness in Aurora's voice. She at least appears to have collected herself a bit. She's clutching Cumulus' hand tightly, but she's back on her feet. Her tail is still flicking about behind her, but it's more intentional somehow, more focused. Her gaze is intense, locked on Copia. He takes a deep breath, nodding, though he can't help feeling a bit like a rat walking into an ambush.
"And you, Phantom? Shall we try once more, diavoletto?"
"Yes, Papa. I want to do it." Phantom, too, is looking a bit better. He's no longer tucked into Dew's shoulder. Instead, he's standing tall, shoulders square and grip on his guitar firm. Though his tail is wrapped tightly around Dew's thigh, he's staring at Copia with the same intensity as Aurora.
"But I think after we run it we should take a break," Phantom suggests.
"Yes!" Aurora almost shouts, "A break. A break immediately after. That's perfect. Maybe even a little walk. Papa, we should go for a walk on our break."
"A walk sounds great," Phantom agrees. "Can I come?"
Swiss cackles, air high-fiving Cirrus across the room. "Oh Bug, I think Copia and Rory will let you come. Again, and again, and ag-"
"Alright!" Copia cries, voice breaking a bit. "Alright, yes! From the top!"
He takes his place once more, front and center. He shakes and rolls his shoulders, letting the movement travel all the way down to his fingertips. He bounces on his toes, adjusts his jacket. Maybe his ghouls are fine to go again, but Copia is suddenly full of a strange, nervous tension. Or something. That feeling in his chest is ballooning, pressing hard on his lungs. The hair on the back of his neck is standing on end, his skin tingling. He's being watched, which is normal, of course, but he doesn't usually feel so... hunted. Is he getting sick? No, he's just being paranoid. Everything is fine. But... Maybe a break isn't such a bad idea after all.
"Mountain, Phantom, you know what to do," he says, hopping in place a bit to disperse the jitters.
"And then we'll take a break, of course."
-----
Yeah, I don't know c: I threw a note about writing my thoughts on Phantom and Aurora hearing Copia growl for the first time and it was based on a post I saw and @anotherbananasong was involved but for the LIFE of me I cannot find it???
Well, anyway, this happened c: The ghouls like growly Copia, what more is there to say?
#the band ghost#nameless ghouls#aurora ghoulette#phantom ghoul#copia#papa emeritus iv#mummy dust#copia's growls#are a hit for the ghouls#head empty
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The Beast & The Church in 'Black Death Rising'
I'm writing a religious horror rpg, in which the End Of Days is in full swing in 15th century Europe. I figured it'd be worth it to talk about that game's religious perspective.
So I'm going to do something inadvisable, and talk about religion from a christian perspective. (religious/setting design ramblings under the cut)
Some context. I'm a quaker; for those less invested in minor christian dissenter sects, I'll give a brief summary. Quakers are a sect going back to the 17th century, with a strong focus on egaletarianism and individual conscience. No clergy or heirarchy, no formalised doctrines, and - historically and currently - a lot of focus on social justice issues. Honesty, equality, pacifism and simplicity as core value. So that's the overview.
This is, you will note, a stark contrast to a lot of what Christianity is currently, and has historically been. Which is to say, quite often on the side of the wealthy, the societally entrenched, and the oppressive.
I am also, as it happens, very openly and obviously queer. As you can imagine, this makes me really quite uncomfortable in a lot of 'christian spaces'.
So. Let's turn our attention to the Book of Revelations, as the various ideas in there are a lot of the game's inspiration. Revelations is written extremely abstractly, with dense metaphorical language rather than a direct accounting of events. There are, needless to say, a wide variety of ways to interpret the text, but I will focus on my own.
A key feature of Revelations is the subversion of religion; the idea of a false prophet turning religion away from its moral/spiritual purpose, and making it a tool for politics, leading to the rise of 'the beast' to power. It's made clear that as the beast seizes power, it goes on to use that power to persecute the outgroup (with whom the text's sympathies lie) and that a church controlled by and reverent of the beast becomes evil and totalitarian, leading to widespread suffering.
The parallels to the state of christianity in the modern day are, to my mind, quite apt. A wide faction - 'conservative christianity' to be polite about it, or christian nationalism to be more blunt - aligns itself with the oppresser over the oppressed, concerns itself with worldly wealth and power, and is actively and openly and inexorably tied to dangerous political forces. That mainstream christianity frequently acts in support of fascism is hard to miss.
There is a particular horror, I think, to seeing representations of one's faith hollowed out and distorted, emptied of their spiritual value and instead becoming a tool for evil. The perversion of what should be sacred has a huge potential for horror.
This is, after all, a particular horror one encounters in a regular basis in the real world. I mean, fuck, one simply needs to see Kenneth Copeland speak for 30 seconds to get a sense of something deeply, deeply wrong.
So, this is the horror the game seeks to capture and accentuate. The sense of what should be holy having been emptied out and used for evil. The twisting of faith to become a tool for fascism.
To this end, the game treats aspects of Revelations quite literally. The Beast is, in fact, the leader of a vast and horrible fascist empire that is the cause of misery on a vast scale. Key to this is the total cooption of the church. The 'pope' is a reanimated corpse issueing proclamations at the Beast's direction, and the church is an engine of propaganda and inquisition that serves to enforce the empire's orthodoxy and stoke hatred against the Empire's outgroups.
This is not to say that faith is absent, but those possessing true spiritual conviction (and with it, in some cases, the ability to perform miracles) are definitively outside the church; actual faith is the domain of religious dissenters and heretics. PC clerics are not members of the church, they're actively persecuted by that church for - essentially - their refusal to spiritually sell out.
(Also, critically, miracles are not the sole domain of christianity; the game treats Jewish and Muslim figures as equally capable of performing miracles, and grants relics associated with those religions equal potency to christian ones; what matters is spiritual conviction, not one's specific denomination).
Other aspects of The Beast's Empire followed from this. Inquisitors and paramilitary agents are common enemies, and the 'seven heads and ten horns' are taken to represent The Beasts inner circle of most powerful servants.
In particular, I've given the Beast's empire it's own form of magic, Defixion, with the name taken from old roman curse-tablets. Defixion is, essentially, the magic of spiritually selling out. In exchange for eroding the user's soul, they become bound to The Beast and his empire; this gives him incredible power over them, but also grants them power based on their position within the Empire's heirarchy. Importantly, it's totally, one-hundred-percent off limits to player characters; playing as the fascists simply exists outside the scope of the game. Instead, Defixion is an explanation for why the Empire's agents have scary monster stat-blocks.
The choice of what to make The Mark Of The Beast was surprisingly easy; it's a cross, the same one that is embraced by fascist groups such as Stormfront.
(This also ties in with the use of the inverted cross as a counter-cultural icon; it's historically been a symbol of humility before God, and in the modern age is associated with strongly anti-church sentiments. In a setting where the church has turned away from God and towards hateful political power, those two meanings can go hand in hand.)
In conclusion: "I know writers who use subtext, and they're all cowards."
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