#something something you are your own worst critic

[idolomantises]

how do you cope with just about any of the hate/controversy/whatever? if anyone is overly critical of my work i get really self-conscious.

Sometimes it does affect me when it’s a personal attack because I’m a bit sensitive and I can’t help myself haha. It’s actually something I’ve been working on improving, particularly ignoring hate, it’s just… yall know how crazy the hate I get is 😂. At one point I had a bunch of random furries harass me for two days straight because they were mad at me setting boundaries with another follower, and that was RIGHT AFTER I dealt with someone accusing me of drawing vile art simply because they didn’t think I drew fat people (even though I did).

It’s easy to forget that a lot of people online are just hostile and bitter and in a constant state of hyper-aggression. Twitter especially rewards abusive behaviors online. It’s why I generally avoid fandoms nowadays and just kind of enjoy things from the sidelines. A lot of people enjoy being very cruel and unfriendly unprovoked, but I won’t say “get over it” because stuff like that DOES hurt. I’ve been told and sent a lot of stuff that still sticks with me years later, things I’ve never discussed before because it’s too upsetting.

But at the end of the day, I’m here. I’m me. And I’m awesome :)

There’s seriously no harm in discussing these things with people in your lives (I’m mainly referring to those offline) because they can be so grounding for you. I owe a lot to my family for always being there for me when I needed support.

And with art… admittedly, I’ve struggled with certain aspects of my work because of how people respond to it (a while back I vented about my frustration about having my drawings labeled “Gooner art” because god forbid when women)

But I then think “hey. This is something im proud of and I worked my ass off to get there. If someone wants to be a dick about my work, that’s their problem”. Of course well intended criticism is appreciated too and I actually don’t take personal offense to it because it HAS improved my art. I had followers criticize how I drew hands, mouths and used colors and I think I’ve improved exponentially because of that. It’s why I’m a big supporter of healthy criticism.

But again, you don’t have to listen to everyone. Criticism doesn’t mean someone is correct, trust your own thoughts and feelings above theirs, because I know the worst thing an artist can do is to try to bend their art to make it appeal to everyone, and it’ll end up appealing to no one.

I love quoting that dril tweet a lot but sometimes you just gotta say “who cares. Pick up football”. Log off and continue doing what you love, and don’t let people drag you down.

[limesquares]

I'm always so...envious of people who seem to make their comic pages look so professional and polished ( I understand we all have different internal senses of what looks good, and if you're like me when you're spending a long time on something all you can see are the flaws, so, you know, ymmv). Anyway I'm sure that mini comic was a ton of effort; I'd really like to learn more about your process for it because I wanna learn and get better myself!!!

PLEASE dont worry too much about making polished pages, ive said this before but in order to make good comics, you must make bad comics first... i am no exception... (but fr, your comic pages are beautiful too, youre your own worst critic <3 )

as for process, my greatest suggestion is to spend all your time thumbnailing; ideas are the hardest part. that's where you can mess around with composition and perspective without spending too much time on it. here's my thumbnails for the comic in question:

(these are before my beloved writer edited the script)

my main vision for these pages was dark vs light background and foreground. i sketched the second page first, and you can see it the strongest in that one.

the first page has some proportions on the sides for panel size (which i didnt really follow for the others.... OTL) but something like this is soo helpful for making panels that look the right size: https://salgoodsam.com/mc/pgtemplates/

aaaand also dont be afraid to delete things that suck. ive drawn entire pages before realizing you know what. this is bad! and then i start over. ideally this will happen in the thumbnailing stage......

anyway. my long ass post is complete... i hope this is of some help :D 👍

[maddiethedogstories]

The Baby Doctor

Reposting this because it seems to have disappeared from this blog for some reason! Enjoy!

This wasn't supposed to happen! She was never supposed to be here. She was a smart, intelligent, capable woman. She had graduated from medical school for God's sake. But, she had pissed off the wrong nurse. Now, here she was, helplessly her diapers for the entertainment of the whole labor and delivery night shift.

It has been the third week of Dr. Bun's residency. She was on the tail end of a horrendous on-call shift. She was working through her charts and, in her delirium, got sloppy in her attention to detail. She accidentally ordered that one of her patients should be given a deadly amount of pain killers to deal with post-delivery pain.

Luckily for her patient, the doctor supervising the young doctor did not trust her yet. He caught her mistake, fixed it, then tracked down Dr. Bun to give her some aggressive constructive criticism. That's where Dr. Bun fucked up.

Rather then owning her mistake and promising to do better, Dr. Bun deflected the blame onto the nursing staff. Specifically, she alleged the nurse treating the patient, Nurse Angela, must have got in the system and messed up the order. Dr. Bun's supervisor was skeptical, but chose to trust his newest charge. He let the resident off with a warning and went to give the nurse a piece of his mind.

Unfortunately for Dr. Bun, the software the hospital used to treat patients kept careful record of precisely who made what orders. Fortunately for the girl, however, her supervisor had no idea that software has that capability. Nurse Angela, in the other hand, was very aware of it.

A couple of days later, when Dr. Bun was back in the hospital changing into her scrubs for the shift, Nurse Angela walked into the room holding two things--a print out from the record keeping software pinning the deadly medication order on Dr. Bun and a bulky, white adult diaper.

"Dr. Bun, I have a bone to pick with you. You pinned a potentially deadly mistake on me when, both you and I know I had nothing to do with it," Nurse Angela said. "That sort of dishonest, manipulative behavior is something I'd expect from a naughty toddler, not a doctor."

Dr. Bun began to feel upset at being challenged so directly by a person she considered beneath her.

"I didn't lie! You must have screwed up my orders, nurse," Dr. Bun, spitting out the word nurse as if it was the worst epithet imaginable.

Nurse Angela just calming walked up to the young, arrogant doctor and handed her the print out of the record confirming Dr. Bun's mistake.

"That is not what this says. Did you know dishonesty is a fireable offense at this hospital? One that the hospital reports to the medical board as well as any future employers?" Nurse Angela asked rhetorically. The older nurse smiled as the young woman's face dropped.

"I… uh… I'm so sorry! I'll do anything to make this up to you! Anything, just, please, don't tell anyone!" The resident pleaded.

The nurse's grin widened, becoming predatory. She motioned with the white, fluffy object in her other hand.

"Well, like I said Doctor, you've been acting more like a toddler than the responsible adult you are supposed to be. I think you need a reminder of that at all times from now on. Until I decide otherwise, if you want to keep your job here, you will wear and use one of these at all times when you are at work. The hospital's bathrooms are off limits to you, and, like the naughty toddler you are, you are not allowed to change yourself. If you want your wet or messy butt changed, you will have to track down one of the nurses in my labor and delivery unit and convince them to change you, understood?"

The young woman had no idea how to respond to that. Her eyes darted between the document in her hand and the bulky adult diaper being held by the nurse. Thoughts of being fired and her career being ruined darted through her head. She couldn't afford to pay back her student loans if she wasn't working as a doctor.

Backed into a corner, Dr. Bun did the only thing she could. She accepted Nurse Angela's offer.

Dr. Bun immediately found herself changed into the first of what would be many diapers by the nurse in the locker room. The next few weeks were full of humiliation and torment for the doctor as she adjusted to her knew position as the nursing units pet toddler, but, eventually her work days fell into a comfortable pattern.

She would use the restroom just prior to leaving work to minimize the risk of messy 'accidents.' She'd report to work where one of the nurses would help her get dressed for her shift. Then, she would proceed with her day as normal, seeking out a nurse for a change when she felt her diaper get too full.

Yes, it was humiliating to have the waistband of her scrubs pulled back or her crotch squeezed by another woman to have her diaper checked. Yes, it sucked laying on a locker room bench while her ass was wiped by someone she considered her subordinate. However, the human mind was resilient and could get used to anything once it happened enough.

Plus, her new situation has some benefits. She was getting praised by her supervisors for how well she worked with the nursing staff. Plus, not having to run to the bathroom all the time gave her more freedom to care for her patients. After a month as the hospital's diapered doctor, Dr. Bun would actually describe things as going well.

Nurse Angela was happy to see Dr. Bun's turn around, but noticed she was starting to get cocky again. The positive reviews from her supervisors lead her to once again become increasingly condescending towards the nursing staff. So, to remind the young doctor of her position, the nurse made Dr. Bun another offer she couldn't refuse.

That's how the young, professional woman with a medical degree found herself here. Nurse Angela has thrown a special, team building party at her home for all of her fellow labor and delivery nurses. The young doctor was also invited as entertainment.

When Dr. Bun arrived, she was stripped of her adult clothes. She was diapered, put in an childish shirt with padded mittens, and had a pacifier slipped in her mouth. She was instructed she was nothing more than a baby for the evening, not allowed to speak, walk, or care for herself in anyway. Worst of all, a suppository was shoved up her cute little bottom.

A baby blanket was laid in the middle of Nurse Angela's living room and she was instructed to stay on it. As her co-workers arrived and began to surround her, cooing at her like she was an actual baby, the babified doctor's stomach began to rumble and cramp. Once the last guest arrived, she couldn't take it anymore. Tears of embarrassment running down her face, Dr. Bun got onto all fours, sticking her diapered ass into the air as a wet fart escaped her butt cheeks.

Nurse Angela looked down and smiled. She drew everyone's attention to the scene. "Look everyone, I think the baby's about to make a stinky for us!"

Dr. Bun's coworkers laughed as they watched her lose control. Closing her eyes and grunting loudly, Dr. Bun pushed out a huge load of crap into her bulky diaper. She closed her eyes as she did it, pretending she was anywhere but here. While she had messed herself before, and many of these women had in fact changed one of her messy diapers, it had never been so public and so humiliated. The nurses cheered the doctor on as she debased herself like an infant for enjoyment.

When the doctor was finished, Nurse Angela beant down and whispered in her ear. "Remember doctor, no matter how good you are at your job or how many accolades you receive, to us, you will never be more than a stupid, untrustworthy little baby. Now sit in your mess and play with your toys. It's going to be a long night."

Dr. Bun could only do as she was told, suck on her pacifier and cry as she came to terms with the fact that she'd be these nurses plaything for the rest of her life.

[imsammyclaflin]

It still blows my mind that you've only been doing this for a few years, you act as if you've been at it your entire life. Some people are lucky that way. All I can say is that I'm excited to follow along on your journey because it can only go up from here. Sorry, I shall stop being so complimentary. I just like to give credit when due as well as congratulations when in order. If only I could believe my own words about myself. Its funny how much I enjoy giving compliments but when on the recieving end, I will call anyone a liar because I am my own worst critic. As for me and my daughter, take your time. She's currently with her mum through the New Year while I finish my move and get ready to do press for The Count of Monte Cristo premiering in January. But we will definitely set something up at your convenience for sure.

you are very welcome for being graced with my presence. oh no you're fine it's all good, it really means a lot to me, thank you again. can you believe i've only been in two projects so far in my career and it's going great so far. oh gosh that's so sweet of you to say, i feel like we're going to be playing the thank you game by how many compliments you're giving me here. i'm glad to be that person to be a role model to your kids. of course that would be lovely i would love to meet her. i'm currently in new york, but hopefully i can find time to go to la to meet up with you and meet your daughter. that's definitely on our list of things to do while here to celebrate christmas.

[grisnyx]

midas touch

[soobnara]

i have the outline all written up for like clockwork and i'm super excited to flesh it out but the challenge is going to be actually finishing it.......... (has only 1k words written) why can't i just concentrate really hard and make words appear on the screen

[bitegore]

Odd to me that the whole "x trans group has it worse, actually" people seem to both be really optimistic about how cissexual cisgender society views trans people of every stripe, just about different groups. Like they don't see any of us as one of them. There's still regular degular transphobia and its fucking everpresent for literally every trans person there is. There's no passing so successful that you opt out of society beong transphobic on literally any side.

[thebleedingeffect]

Hi hello hi, if anyone reads this just know that you're really cool and loved. Yeah that's my whole message 👍 you go out there and try your best and take a breather every now and again

[fstbmp-a]

me: [on hiatus]

also me: write 1k words for a drabble and ends up not liking any of it so far.

[cloudcountry]

Hi, thank you for sharing all of your writing with us! I love reading it and you have a great style. <3

If Floyd still feels like doing his after party naming could I ask him for one of me?

I am an artist and a writer but I don't have much self confidence so it's hard for me to share my art sometimes. I read constantly and love romance and happy endings (because the world can just be a cold place). I also really like frilly girly things and pink is my favorite color. I'm ace and pretty oblivious but I love my close friends and would commit murder for my little sister if she asked. I love animals and would love to be an outdoor person but I'm terrified of spiders (I internalized the 'never more than 8 feet away from a spider at any time' when I was a kid and that was that.) I really enjoy Twisted Wonderland because of the amazing character designs (it makes all other otome games look so bland!) and even though Disney is the devil I can't let go of my childhood nostalgia and love of it and so TWST is a wonderful evolution that I can enjoy older while still holding onto that. I really really don't like being in crowded areas and hate overly loud places. I love rainy days (I genuinely think they are beautiful and they make me happy). I can get very hyper focused (I think I'm ADHD or on the spectrum but I've never gotten a confirmation of that) on things that I like/enjoy but it takes a lot to force me to do something I don't want to do. I'm really cuddly with people I love and I genuinely feel like I'm a nice/friendly person but if anyone messed with my sister or friends I would have no problem body slamming them or committing homicide if needed.

(sorry I don't really have anything super interesting that stands out like the others do so I hope it's not too difficult)

Thank you and I hope you and Floyd have a great time!

"ahh! the little sea bunny is so cute." floyd's voice is pitchy and delighted as he smiles.

the debtor hums in response, a small smile on their face.

"floyd gave you this nickname because of your soft demeanor. you're a friendly person and are really cuddly with the people you love, which makes a lot of people at nrc think of you as cute. however, your willingness to protect the people you love also earns you this nickname, since sea bunnies are incredibly toxic to predators that try to eat them."

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

Im beating the dead horse with the stick i used to poke the hornets nest but theres an argument bouncing around against the censorship of morally objectionable material on fandom spaces like ao3. And it goes "these spaces were created for morally objectionable material in the first place. Where else are we supposed to put it."

And i agree! I think as long as whatever site ppl are using has a robust tagging system any kind of content should be allowed if it's legal to post. I think individual works should be appropriately criticized for bad or insensitive portrayals of morally objectionable content, and that a saturation of said bad portrayals in media can lead to wider romanticization and acceptance of said topics. Most individual creators however have very little control over how a wider audience would receive their work, even if the inclusion of objectionable content would require more scrutiny by both the creators and audience. Fandom spaces like ao3 specifically refuse to limit individuals from distributing their stuff as long as it's legal. All moderators of these spaces should do is offer people who dont want to see that stuff an easy way to opt out. Criticism towards the subject matter should be given on a case by case basis by its audience. If they changed that rule, ppl will just create another space run on this principle.

(In fact, I personally think its better if the "sickos" explore what they want to explore in fandom compared to making actual published works with certain morally objectionable topics. I can block someones omegaverse incest fic. I can't block an ad for a thinly veiled fetish film disguized as a hollywood blockbuster if it's printed on the side of a bus.)

But anyway yes sites like ao3 was made for ppl who wanted to post gross stuff without being harassed for it. yes its stupid that ppl are trying to harass "sickos" off the "sicko" websites instead of using the extensive block features most of these sites have. no i dont think posting morally objectionable content is harmful on its own but yes these topics should be portrayed more carefully and be subject to a lot of scrutiny when present in any artistic content. But like. I hope the ppl making this argument understand that a lot of people arguing for censorship in fandom spaces dont actually. Care. Where the "sickos" post their gross stuff. Bc they dont want ppl to post stuff they dont like period.

This argument assumes there will always be people who want to explore "bad" topics in fandom. So the solution is to let ppl who dont want to see that stuff to back out. But the people who oppose this wants the "sickos" to disappear altogether. They think if they yell about it hard enough and get enough sites to ban stuff ppl will eventually naturally choose to never think about morally objectionable stuff. Or at least never portray it in a way they dont like. This is why ppl who whine about ao3 "allowing 'problematic stuff' rarely talk about the tag blocking feature. Because it's not just that they dont want to see that stuff themselves. They dont want YOU to see it either. Or for the person to post it. Or even think about it.

And it's like. Wow youre complaining about seeing too many "problematic ships?" Babygirl the first thing i DO when i look up a new fandom on ao3 is to block all the lesbian x men, sibling x sibling, and child x adult ships i can think of. And as i scroll every time i see a bad ship i add it to the block list. What were YOU doing at the devil's sacrament?

[musashi]

posts about the alt-right pipeline being compassionate towards young men while radical leftists shun and shame them are not fucking saying "the men are becoming violent because feminists are too mean!" and if that is your takeaway you need to get off tumblr until you've better honed your critical thinking skills.

those posts are talking about how effective the language and approach you take in your activism can be. this is literally cult deprogramming 101. if someone is being taken in by a violent or dangerous group, that violent or dangerous group is usually offering them compassion and solace while working hard to convince them everyone else in the world is their enemy. you are under no obligation to coddle or act compassionate toward these men and their violent ideologies, but if you have the means to try, it is something that you can do to make a tangible difference.

radicalized people are often only one loving friend or family member or external voice away from being de-radicalized. of course that is not always the case, but it very often is. a lot of y'all rightfully understand that you do not carry the burden of being that voice, but a lot of y'all also have a lot of internalized ideas about morals and punitive justice and have simply written off these people as deserving of only the worst and not worth saving.

ten years ago, my grandmother was a fox news watching republican who voted red in every election and very well could have fallen down the qanon rabbit hole if not for me and her daughter challenging her compassionately, walking her through hypotheticals that validated her feelings & proving why they were false, & being patient with her despite our extreme division in political ideology. it was frustrating fucking work! but i decided i wanted to do it, because i could see the horizon and i could see me making a difference!

"misogynists have been saying feminists are too mean for years, get new material" that is not the fucking POINT. the point is that you, feminist, can be the compassionate voice that guides your brother, your father, your cousin, your grandfather away from fucking becoming or staying a nazi. you can show them compassion and companionship. you can be the woman they think of when their alt-right bros try to convince them that women are the enemy. and you can choose to crystallize that image of yourself so wholly in their mind's eye as worth protecting that they may very well choose to reject those harmful ideas.

it's not saying you HAVE to do it! it's saying you CAN do it! don't you 'firebomb a walmart' people all love taking change into your own hands? where the fuck is that energy right now, huh?

[the-sera]

My name is Sera, you may not know me but you know my past work behind the scenes here and there, such as the Mass Effect trilogy, Dragon Age, Silent Hills, and many others.

I am an agoraphobic indigenous Kanienʼkehá:ka (Mohawk) mixed lesbian who has fought for several years a worsening health condition that is currently killing me. The point of no return is not that far away. I have spent years exhausting any paths and means to get help, enduring extreme and near endless pain. I have sold all I have, spent every dime to my name. I have received various forms of help over the years in this battle, but I have reached the critical point I have feared all this time. And to make matters worst, the family responsible for inflicting a lifetime of abuse on me is stalking me very heavily online, which has not only exacerbated my agoraphobia, but has also made the efforts to build this harder than I could describe. Know that I share as many details as I can while seeking to avoid undermining my immediate safety, I hope you understand. This post is a highly abridged version of the content in the link, the unabridged and unedited version is available below the Read More cut ❤

If you have been following me for a while, you are familiar with my struggle and saw me talking about it throughout the years. There are no other options or help besides this, besides you. I need your help or I'm going to die, this is the last chance I have left. I'm afraid to my core, I still have a life in front of me, dreams to pursue. If you read this far, I know you may be inclined to share and move on, but I am asking you to pause and think if you have a dollar that could make all the difference. I know it can be troublesome to stop and actually do it, I am asking you to please consider doing it.

If you yourself have a health condition, I salute you for fighting your own battle. Regardless of whether you donate or not, if you read this far, know that you are loved.

A warm thank you to @transmechanicus , the kind soul who made this possible. I would be lost and doomed without your help. Erika did not believe thank yous were necessary, but they are. Attempting to save a human being's life is no small act. Whether it succeeds or fail, no thank yous will ever be enough. Even as the pain consumes my body, I am able to feel hope thanks to this. There are no words invented to express this level of thanks, but if I get to live, I will search for it.

(Please don't put tags on this unless it is to actually talk or comment something. As always, kind words are appreciated.)

My name is Sera, you may not know me but you know my past work behind the scenes here and there, such as the Mass Effect Trilogy, Dragon Age, Silent Hills, and many others.

I am an agoraphobic indigenous Kanienʼkehá:ka (Mohawk) mixed lesbian who has fought for several years a worsening health condition that is currently killing me. The point of no return is not that far away. I have spent years exhausting any paths and means to get help, enduring extreme and near endless pain. I have sold all I have, spent every dime to my name. The system, I feel, is indifferent to my situation. I have received various forms of help over the years in this battle, but I have reached the critical point I have feared all this time. And to make matters worst, the family responsible for inflicting a lifetime of abuse on me is stalking me very heavily online, which has not only exacerbated my agoraphobia, but has also made the efforts to build this harder than I could describe. Know that I share as many details as I can while seeking to avoid undermining my immediate safety, I hope you understand.

If you are reading this, you are one of the few people who can help save my life. A single dollar is enough to make a tremendous difference. There is no other options or source of help besides this, besides you. I need your help or I'm going to die, this is the last chance I have left.

The goal is a series of treatments and challenging surgeries that will remove small metal shards near vital organs and bones in my body. It is categorized as severe internal injuries secondary to a traumatic event. As medical professionals have put it, "the lack of immediate surgical intervention necessitates a comprehensive, multidisciplinary treatment approach aimed at mitigating the risk of disease progression and optimizing long-term outcomes."

My injuries are from a car accident which injured me immensely and took the lives of my two closest friends in the world. This page does not ask for the full amount of the procedures and treatments, since it is a very large sum of money that cannot be reached that quickly. The page only asks for enough to get me started in the process and access proper vital treatments in countries of the european union. Adding time to the clock, giving me a chance to fight this battle and launching an important part of the process towards saving my life.

I know you may be inclined to share and move on, but I am asking you to pause and think if you have a dollar that could make all the difference. You may be but a few clicks away from truly helping someone who desperately needs it. I know it can be troublesome to stop and actually do it, I am asking you to please consider doing it.

If this fails to reach its goal, I will die. I'm afraid and I need your help. I still have a life in front of me, dreams to pursue. If you read this far, you are the only chance I have left. Don't underestimate the difference a dollar can make, your dollar could be the one dollar we come short of. The expenses covered by this amount ranges from the medical consultations, medical treatments, surgeries and, of course, accessing said treatment, reaching the places where I need to go. I will have a true chance at fighting for the remaining amount myself.

As for cheaper alternatives, it is mainly temporary fixes that would not fix the issue and waitlists that I would die waiting on years before my turn comes. This is it, this is the only way I have that provides the care I need, in the timeframe I need it, with a success rate that gives me a chance to live.

Thank you for reading this and for persevering in the brutal system we all live under. If you yourself have a health condition, I salute you for fighting your own battle. May we all make it and may we all have the softest of epilogues. Regardless of whether you donate or not, if you read this far, know that you are loved.

I would like to thank Erika, a dear friend who has made this possible at all. Without her, I would be lost. I would also like to thank immensely Milica, who has been on this journey with me for so many years, almost since the beginning. Her medical knowledge and her kind heart, her support and dedication, have allowed me to survive long enough to get to this point. I would not be here still without her. I would like to thank the amazing and loving Dana, who has been here during the good days as much as the bad days. She has been a beacon preventing me from giving up hope. I would have abandonned before getting to this point had she not been there for me. And thank you to Oli, who has been my champion, it is thanks to his help that I can move around where I need to go. A great support and a great friend. I would like to also thank Bruna, a kind heart who has never failed to cheer me on, even when her life was not perfect, she never stopped cheering and supporting me.

I would also like to thank my tumblr mutuals, you know who you are, those who have been in my DMs offering me your kindness, laughter and support in these dark times. Your help has also saved me more than once. You are true blessings. Thank you for never giving up hope during the days I felt like doing so.

You have all carried the torch during the days I couldn't, and for that, I can never thank you enough. I have lived and survived because of you, your help in every form has made a difference in the world. I am ready to fight for my life, and whether I reach my goal and live, or fail and die, know that none of it was wasted. You have all made me a better person and that is the mark of true love transpiring from one person to the next. Thank you for believing in me when I could not. I love you all.

[allylikethecat]

girl your writing is NOT getting worse, there’s nothing bad about it for it to even “get worse” at all!!!!!!

🥺🥺🥺

Thank you so much! It's honestly a huge insecurity of mine, I feel like sometimes I get *really excited* and start a fic and obsess over the first few chapters before I post them and get them *perfect* in my mind, and then I start posting, and I get *even more excited* because now I'm SHARING the fic with PEOPLE and then I lose direction because I have the attention span of a hamster, and I'm like throwing words on a page to see what sticks lol

I know that *rationally* my writing is still about the same, but like sometimes it just feels like the quality deteriorates and I find myself spinning in all these different directions and then I get in my head and am like wow these people are so nice and kind and supportive reading my work and they deserve better even though everyone really IS just this nice and supportive and yeah idk it's a whole thing and I'm sorry for over sharing right now but WOW did I see that tumblr post and feel seen because even if my writing isn't *actually* getting worse, we're our own worst critic so it does sometimes feel like it is? If that makes sense?

Anyway I almost cried reading this ask because it's honestly just so sweet and you didn't have to go out of your way to send it but you DID and for that I am extremely grateful and I screenshooted it and will be looking at it when I start to get too hard on myself so THANK YOU and also I apologize for how stream of conscious this is. I hope you continue to enjoy my fics, and I hope that I manage to keep it so that the quality doesn't actually go down, and also that you had a fantastic Friday! I also hope that you have the VERY BEST weekend!! Thank you so so much again!

❤️Ally

[prokopetz]

Something that pops up in my notes from time to time is folks thinking I'm being excessively kind in my criticisms of Dungeons & Dragons, and I'm going to spin this off into a separate thread to address that without putting anyone on the spot.

First, if your own critique of Dungeons & Dragons is rooted in the idea that it's the Worst Game Ever, that speaks more to the limits of your experience than it does to anything else. Dungeons & Dragons in any of its iterations is far from the worst the tabletop roleplaying hobby has to offer – like, you have no fucking idea!

Second, I tend to be even-handed in my discussion of D&D's rules because, fundamentally, the rules are not the problem – or, at least, not the principal cause of the problem.

In many ways, the indie RPG sphere has never escaped the spectre of Ron Edwards, sternly pronouncing that the mechanical process of playing traditional RPGs causes actual, physical brain damage, and that this brain damage is responsible for the bad behaviour we often observe at the table. We don't say it that way anymore, but on some level a lot of us indie RPG designers still kind of believe it.

This is understandable. As game designers, we're naturally inclined to think of problems at the table as game design problems. When we see a problematic culture of play, our impulse is to frame it as something which emerges from the text of the game, and which can therefore be mitigated by repairing the text of the game.

Confronted with the obvious toxicity of certain facets of D&D's culture of play, we go combing through its text, looking for something – some formalism, some structure, some piece of rules technology – which we can point to and say: "this is it; this is where the brain-worms live."

The trouble is, this is not in fact where the brain-worms live. Certainly, the text of a game, particularly a very popular one, can have some influence on the game's surrounding culture of play, but that text is in turn a reflection of the culture of play in which it was written. The Player's Handbook isn't an SCP object, spewing infectious infohazards everywhere when you crack open the cover – hell, I'd go so far as to say that many of the problems of D&D's culture of play operate in spite of the game's text, not because of it!

Basically, what I'm saying is that I don't see any contradiction between being the sort of pretentious knob who writes one-page indie RPGs about gay catgirls talking about their feelings (which I am), and speaking favourably about this or that piece of rules tech from whatever flavour of Dungeons & Dragons is in favour this week (which I do), because I recognise that you can't game-design your way out of a problem you didn't game-design your way into.

The fact that one of the biggest problems facing the tabletop roleplaying hobby is something that can't be repaired by fucking around with dice-rolling procedures is a bitter pill to swallow for a lot of indie game designers, and I won't say I wasn't resistant to it myself, but it's something that's both useful and necessary to accept.

(None of this means that the text of Dungeons & Dragons in any of its incarnations is beyond criticism on other grounds, of course, and I've never been shy about highlighting those criticisms where they're warranted. The only way you're gonna arrive at the conclusion that I'm some sort of D&D apologist is if you're starting from the presumption that The Real Problem Is The Rules.)

[aj-living-life]

I am in turmoil. As an author I've much been a writing purist who scorns fanfiction as always either crappy or a waste of talent. Then I let myself write some, just some Magnus Archives Statements which could practically be their own stories. Then I saw a cool scene in a comic and wondered how it would look in writing alone, and wrote it as a "writing exercise" to practice my descriptions, which is a place I fall short in ability. Then I saw some fanart that inspired me for a possibility and I wrote it, then later rewrote details to use it as an independent story since it was so off-canon. And then a story ended and I wrote a continuation because I was dissatisfied with the end and if the author wouldn't make it, hey, I could. Then I was dating someone who liked, read, and wrote fanfiction and would often make up tales of if we were in stories and I found myself writing those into reality like the simp I am. Then I started writing fanfiction just because I'd get a burst of inspiration to write and it's stupid to not take advantage of that since I could repurpose it later in my work. And now I've got a lot, including one of a story I think doesn't have ANY fanfiction yet and who's author would probably be delighted to find a fanfic about. So I wanna toss it out somewhere she could find it, and I do have an AO3 account at the behest of a friend years ago. And I may as well upload ALL my fanfiction if I'm uploading some, since I never share it and keep it locked up as a secret when its not bad writing at all, just not as original as I like to be. And I realized that if people like my fanfics online I could advertise my original work to those who like fanfics, I've found some favorite artists through fanart after all. So TLDR: I'm becoming a fanfic author and it feels like I've gone to the dark side.