a family burn book (Write hard and clear about what hurts)
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Education
I helped my mother empty out our library. The books in the bottom drawer were the most fascinating ones, they ranged from how to be a good parent, to how to guide your children through life, or how to become a better person, and find peace of mind, and seek god: a comprehensive self-help library hidden underneath. Obviously, all the books were new, unopened, no-one had ever read them, and that explained a lot.
#self help#education#parenthood#sisterhood#sisters#coming of age#motherhood#mothersanddaughters#family#burnbook
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Innate
We found ourselves back home, all four of us, for the first time in a long time. We had to come home, our father had been killed and we were ready for what was about to happen. We were born ready.
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Work Ethics
They raised us to be the exact opposite of them. They did good. They knew who they were.
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Unfamiliar faith
My grandma always said ‘forgive me’. I don’t. I don’t forgive her. She can pray and play with her collection of candled saints until her house burns down. Nobody will forgive us either.
#burnbook#family#quotes#crybaby#fuck#forgiveness#brave#faith#saints#religion#unfaithful#burn#word#truth
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The death of us
We were too bright for the dead world we were brought into. We were floating around, living in exile, away from home, away from the big bang about to hit our whole family. Our stories would never be told.
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Burn, burn
When a life event becomes a life situation your supposedly smart brain turns into some kind of jelly mush. We were always ready for shit to hit the fan.
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Patience
We learnt patience from an early age. We waited and waited and dad never came home. But when he did, we waited so little until he left again. Patience is a dish best served cold.
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Father
At first we all thought a normal family had a teenage mother and an absent father. We are still trying to figure out the standard.
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Sadness
We were never allowed to be sad. Now every time a tear drops down my cheek I feel stupid and weak. We were never allowed to be happy either.
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Violence
Violence was normalised from the beginning. It comes and goes from inside and outside the circle. It floats around like a sound that is about to go off so hard, so true.
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Education
At first we thought my father’s mistress was his daughter. But then we remembered he liked his daughters to be educated.
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Paying prices
Punishment comes as a strike of lighting and spreads to those who are standing beside you. We paid for half of it; and I seriously hope the mistress is paying for the other half.
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Girls will be whatever
Our mother always thanked god for having daughters. Or she thanked him for not having sons, rather. She didn’t believe in god as much as she wanted to.
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Winners and losers
Being a loser was the best option. But he never was a loser. He always won, because violence always wins.
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The beggining
Everything was dark. All he could see was the image of his daughters floating around him like a vision. He never thought he would accomplish everything through these girls he didn’t raise. They were just deliberate mistakes he was proud of.
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